#we're all doing the best we can. especially with the resources we have; some are better off than others.
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Hey, I saw your tags on the one post about abuse, and I wanted to reach out and say that I also struggled a lot and hurt a lot of people during a very low part of my life - and I’m proud of you, and of me, for doing our best to change ❤️🫂 I hope recovery for you is going well, brother, and that you have a great day/night. 🫶
aw thank you !! 🥺 same to you, homie. i hope everything's going well, & i'm proud of you for doing your best, too <3 🫂
it's been hard, especially since i lost my most recent job a year or two ago at this point, which has kind of put my brain into an isolative bubble. but i'm definitely still trying to be my best possible self.
#ask#ive been keeping myself out of social spaces for a long time to avoid relapsing. but i don't think my isolation is doing me too many favors.#so i'm trying to open up again. and that's been hard. but i'm doing my best#i've been doing better about catching my shitty behavior and i'm slowly getting used to like. going back on the shit i say#and apologizing for it. because i know it's shitty. and it feels shitty for me to backpedal.#especially when i try so hard not to say shit i don't mean lmao- i go so far as to make a point in speaking in definitives 🥴#because at the end of the day. i Don't know everything. and for me to confidently say that i know something only to be proven incorrect#damages my pride ig lmao- & i have my mom 2 thank 4 that mindset 🥴 tho that's no excuse for me to stay shitty.#i don't Want to be too proud to admit my faults. & i'm creeping and crawling away from that attitude.#it's been easier since my mom's been doing the same; she's trying her best to do better. and i can tell that she's trying.#she's more patient with my snippiness than she used to be. and that's been a big help.#we're all doing the best we can. especially with the resources we have; some are better off than others.#but we're all still trying our best to not be shitty.#(unrelated but on the note of not speaking in definitives. one lady was asking if i could add a gift card to her already-in-progress order-)#(& i said 'im not sure if i can do that' & so i asked my manager & she also said 🤷♂️. & when she came up & asked the customer what was up)#(the customer said ''ur cashier (me) said i couldn't add this to my order when other people have done it for me'')#(& i said '...thats not what i said.' & she said 'yes it was. u said i couldn't do this' & my manager was like 'w/e we'll do it this way')#(& i had 2 stop myself from doubling down & telling the customer that i make a point not to speak in definitives-)#(-therefore i Know for a Fact that i said ''i'm not sure.'' lmao. of all the things i was sure of in that transaction. that was it. lol)
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Writing Post Masterlist
All my posts about writing - plus some I absolutely loved by other writers.
Masterlists by Other People (all good)
"Writing Tips Masterpost" by @deception-united - Deception-United has an incredibly wealth of resources available, far more comprehensive and detailed than mine. Go check it out!
"WQA Post Master Lists" by @writingquestionsanswered - Another fantastic and wonderfully comprehensive resource that covers damn near everything you need to know about writing. Genuinely one of the best free resources on writing that you could find on the internet.
General Advice for a Happy Writing Life
"The Myth of the Martyr Artist" - An incredibly important post, perhaps my most important one ever, that discusses why mental illness is a burden, not a benefit. I have no idea why this even needs to be said, but it does, apparently.
"Building Self-Esteem as a Writer" - Why you gotta be nice to yourself. You gotta.
"Identifying bad writing advice" - Warning signs that the post you are reading kinda sucks and you should click off.
"Advice to Beginner Writers: The Good, the Bad, and the Unpleasant" - How long it takes to become a good writer, what to focus on when learning, and why fanfic is such a useful tool.
"Mindset Shifts: Fanfiction -> Original Fiction" - What fanfic writers should know about deciding to take on original characters and stories.
"Defeating Protracted Writer's Block" - What to do when you find it impossible to write for days, weeks, or months at a time.
"Five Common Anxieties of Newbie Writers, Demystified" - Explorations of five mindsets that can set younger writers back as they learn their craft, including overcompetitiveness, overdescribing, and fearing they're "too old."
"Good Motivations for Continuing to Write" - Why it is crucial to have a passion for writing beyond fame and fortune.
"Extremely controversial writing opinions that will make you mad (but I'm going to say them anyway)" - Things you really don't want to hear, but need to be said. A bit of tough love, including the insignificance of ideas, the cold hard truth about how non-writers react to your writing, and the essentiality of having a well-rounded life.
"Why Mindfulness Is a Key Practice for Writers" - On the need to slow down and let our brain rest - plus some options that are categorically not sitting there in dead silence (boring).
"Writing When Happy" - Wherein I hijack someone's question to discuss the Myth of the Martyr Artist, why we might self-limit because of it, and how to do the impossible: write when we're happy.
"The Neurodivergent Writer’s Guide to Fun and Productivity" by @bookishdiplodocus - Excellent advice on how enjoying the process and reminding yourself that writing is supposed to be fun can help you stay motivated and productive, even when your brain is not cooperating.
"The Glorification of Self-Deprecation in Art/Writing Spaces" by @nicolkoutoulakiauthor - I've discussed before how crucial it is to have a healthy self-esteem when writing, but Nicol does it even better here. Nicol also includes some excellent reframing tactics so you can stay motivated.
Generalish Writing Advice (multifactorial)
"Signs That You Will Probably Finish Your Writing Project" - An analysis of the mindset that leads to results, and encouragement on how to develop them.
"'How Do I Start Writing?'" (Or; A Psychoanalysis of Newbie Writer Fears) - Inspired by the dozens of Reddit posts that ask this exact same thing, often with useless responses. So why do people ask this? I offer my theory.
"I Can Think of Ideas But Can't Write Them!" - A consideration of the many reasons you might find it difficult to get started on your precious idea-baby.
"How to elevate your writing style with 6 simple hacks" - Information about how to develop a prettier prose style, catch errors, develop good dialogue, and focus on brevity.
"How to improve your writing style : a 5-steps guide" by @writer-logbook - Especially great information on why reading widely is so helpful for your craft!
"Some Writing Advice" by @whispers-whump - Especially great discussion of why you shouldn't write what you mean.
"Practical Writing Advice Part 2" by @so-many-ocs - Does what it says on the tin. Simple, easy-to-follow advice that can break you out of writer's block.
"25 Prose Tips for Writers" by @thewriteadviceforwriters - I absolutely love the emphasis on sound and harmony here. As someone whose entire book series revolves around the magic of poetry, of course I think this is incredibly important advice!
"Pacing and Show Don't Tell" by @mylordshesacactus - Two for one deal! First, learn more about why pacing is important; then, look at some examples of the classic advice "show, don't tell." The post does a great job on breaking down what show don't tell actually means and what is not a violation of this guideline so that newer writers aren't confused.
Writing tools
"How to Build a Sustainable Writing Habit Through SCIENCE (Fuck Off, NaNoWriMo)" - Why NaNoWriMo doesn't actually motivate young writers and how to do better through a spreadsheet (yes, really, a spreadsheet). It also explains the importance of intrinsic motivation!
"'I've Outlined Too Much and Now I Can't Write!' (Or: the Double Outline Method for Overanxious Plotters)" - Some of us tend to go absolutely ham on our outlines, to the point where they're practically their own books. But then we also tend to not actually do the writing attached to said outline. Does this mean outlining is useless? Of course not. My method lets you have your outline and eat it too. (.... Wait.)
"'How Do I Make Myself Start Writing?' (Tips to Get the Damn Thing Done) - In this post, I provide a step-by-step guide to start writing, including a few tools to help improve motivation and concentration.
"How to Write Faster (And, Hopefully, Better Too)" - Eliminating distractions and forcing your brain to write is key to getting more done. Here, I explain how you might be limiting yourself by too much thinking and not enough doing.
Worldbuilding
"Stop Making Everything So Damn Complicated!" - Why fantasy (and scifi) does not need to be dizzyingly intricate to be enjoyable.
"How to Kick Ass at Worldbuilding" - I offer some suggestions on how to create a grounded and interesting world that will not bore your readers, based on real life examples.
"Grounded vs. Airy Fantasy" by @aethersea - Excellent breakdown of different levels of groundedness in fantasy and why it's important to understand your own approach.
"Fantasy Guide to Building a Culture" by @inky-duchess - Thorough and methodical analysis of what can create a compelling fantasy culture, including those things that many fail to think about when writing.
"Writing tip - Research" by @pygmi-cygni - Fantastic assessment of the importance of research, including for fantasy stories. As Pygmi-Cygni said, a lot of people claim that they don't need to do any research for fantasy novels, which isn't true! Any parallels to IRL need to be realistic, or you will lose credibility.
Plotting
"How to Use Chomolungma for Writing Adventure Stories; Or, the Plot Mountain Method" - If you're sick of saving felines who should really figure their own shit out, it's time to head to Plot Mountain. In this post, I offer you an alternative to the formulaic "Save the Cat" and "Hero's Journey" which also incorporates tension, characterization, and forward momentum.
"Avoiding Melodrama In Your Writing" - The most annoying all things: melodrama. My least favorite thing. Do not do it. I will show you how.
"How to Find a Plot When All You Have is Characters and Setting" by @rheas-chaos-motivation - This is a common problem for many writers, when you have cool characters or an intriguing setting. This short post can help you kickstart your ideas for how to create an intriguing plot that has built-in tension.
Description
"Remembering Perspective When Writing Descriptions" - Key factors to think about when describing other characters or settings from your POV.
"Description, Momentum, and Tension; Or, How Not to Bore a Reader" - Why, when, and where to put description so that people don't skip over it. Hopefully.
"Writing Notes: Seasons" - Each season has both benefits and downsides. In this post, we look at the negatives and positive aspects of each so you can decide how a particular season may strengthen your themes - plus some descriptions to help inspire you.
"Writing Advice: Spicy Mundanity" - Wherein I explain how to stop having boring descriptions by packing in characterization.
"How to Write Smut?" by @unfriendlywriter - Wonderful examples of how to write heartstopping smut.
"How to pull off descriptions" by @fictionstudent - Fictionstudent has a ton of great posts, both about film analysis and about the art of writing. I especially liked this one because it discusses how important perspective is for descriptions and the importance of filling in the details as a character would rather than just throwing it all at the reader at one time.
"How to avoid White Room Syndrome" by @writerthreads - Fantastic and focused advice on how to ensure you're offering readers just enough setting to help them envision the world.
Characterization
"Writing Relatable Characters; Or, Using Human Failures to Your Advantage" - Explaining how you can use character flaws and human needs to create a relatable character. Also explains the basic development of a plot, which is about equilibrium.
"How NOT to Write a Character" - Wherein I give you some examples of annoying characters we want to punt off a cliff so you can watch yourself.
"Writing Strong Female Characters" - Why you should give your female characters a secret goal, as well as how to avoid common 'strong female' stereotypes.
"Writing Compelling Trauma in Fiction: Dos and Don'ts" - How to avoid melodrama and create intriguing emotional wounds for characters.
"Quality Assurance Checks for Character Development" - Thought exercises that can help you differentiate characters, prune down unnecessary characters, develop true chemistry between LI and MC, and avoid having too many POVs.
"Developing Character Agency (Or; Cutting the Plot Strings)" - A discussion of character agency and how to ensure your characters are not bound by the narrative.
"Writing Notes: Thought Distortions" by @literaryvein-reblogs - Some psychological concepts you can use in your writing to add depth to characters.
"Questions about your character’s perspective on love and relationships" by @luna-azzurra - Excellent questions that can help you delve into your character's attachment style, what baggage they may bring to a current relationship, and how to create conflict through mentality.
"How to Write a Confession of Love," also by luna-azzurra - Perfect discussion of how to create tension, the utility of setting, not making it perfect, and including the other character's response.
Revisions
"Common Writing Issues that Reduce Readability" - Examples of fixes for four common issues: double describing, long sentences, overexplaining, and head hopping.
"How to Avoid Purple Prose" - A critical part of the revision process is making sure your writing is clear and balanced. In this post, I show a blatant example of purple prose and provide suggestions on how to make a more elegant passage.
"Differential Diagnosis When Your Writing Is Getting Worse" by @ariaste - Fantastic explanation by a professional writer about why you might feel like your writing is getting worse and what to do about it.
"How to Make Your Writing Less Stiff Part 3" by @physalian - Physalian's whole blog has some excellent advice, so definitely give it a look!
"How to Improve Your Writing" - Also by literaryvein-reblogs, this offers some excellent exercises to help with sentence-level issues, such as modifiers, parallelism, and details.
Publishing
"How to promote your book online : a discussion about social media (and few tips)" by writer-logbook - Great tips about how to get more interest in your book. I especially enjoyed the emphasis on patience and consistency. Writer-logbook has some excellent info overall about the nitty-gritty of writing, so I definitely recommend poring through their blog in general. (That's why they're included here twice!)
"A masterclass in how not to market your books, in one singular tweet" - Wherein I help you derive lessons from an abysmal tweet by an author.
"Mistakes I Made When Self-Pubbing My First Book (Part 1: Mindset Edition)" - I talk about how being delulu is not the solulu, that yes marketing is important (even if it is horrible), and how a bit of self-confidence can go a long way.
"Mistakes I Made When Self-Pubbing My First Book (Part 2: Presentation Edition)" - Graphics and covers and blurbs! Learn about them. Do not do what I did.
"Mistakes I Made When Self-Pubbing My First Book (Part 3: Ads and Reviews Edition)" - Why you have to get reviews. You gotta. And you gotta demand them. Shake those reviews out of your readers. You'll thank me later.
Specific Research Advice
"Assassination Methods Through the Decades: A Writer’s Handbook" by @hayatheauthor - A thorough review of different assassination methods, including a section discussing common assassination methods by region!
"How to Write Someone in a Wheelchair" - A group effort! This is a reblog chain discussing body language in manual wheelchairs, the mechanics of power wheelchairs, wheelchair propulsion methods, and a reminder that just because someone is in a wheelchair doesn't mean they can't walk short distances.
"Writing Research Notes: Caves" - Oh caves how I love them. Caves. Let me tell you about them if you want to write about caves. Blessed.
"Writing Research Notes: Horses" - A beginner's guide to horse mindsets, whether horses like working, approaching horses, how to ride, and tips on training.
"Writing Research Notes: Bipolar Disorder" - Written by me, a writer with bipolar disorder! This shares basic facts about bipolar, offers a list of symptoms you can use, and cautions you against spreading misinformation through poor characterization or myths.
"Writing Research Notes: Politics" - I provide a quick overview about governments and international relations, based off my suffering while getting an MA in International Relations.
"Stop Doing This in Injury Fics!" by @pygmi-says-hi - Discusses some common errors when writing whump/angst. The fever part was especially helpful for me!
"Writing US Military Characters" by @lookbluesoup - An explanation of the habits and mentality of US military characters. Many of these were quite helpful for my fantasy military characters, so you can get a lot of mileage out of these for soldiers in other militaries too!
Little Funsies
"What Painting Style Is Your Writing?" - A short exploration of different writing styles to help you better understand your own approach.
I'll be adding onto this as I continue to scroll through my old likes and, of course, as I find more resources.
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Dune: Prophecy episode 1 thoughts, tried to keep it vague to avoid major spoilers:
Wow there is a lot of exposition. Like a LOT of exposition, especially in the first 10-15 minutes when we're not invested in any of the characters yet. I hope this is a first episode problem.
Ah they went the coward's route and used "Great Machine War" instead of "Butlerian Jihad."
There's an interesting "history is written by the victors" thread there right from the beginning that I hope they pull on some more.
I love how they did the Voice, which appears early in the episode, because both the actor's performance and the sound design of it are slightly different from the films. It really feels/sounds like the character using it is straining to access a new and unfamiliar power, in contrast to the effortless, overwhelming assertion of control it comes across as in the films.
Salusa Secundus looks so green and lush in comparison to how it looks at the time of the films.
I realize this is probably an unfair complaint for something made on a TV budget (even an HBO TV budget), but imo the production design doesn't quite measure up to the films. I think the best work is on the props. The key to the genetic index room, the little slides that Valya and Tula are looking at with students' info on them, the Emperor's projection table--those all look great and have that feeling of "future filtered through the past" that I think is key to the Dune aesthetic. Many of the location exteriors are gorgeous, too. Some of the interior sets are quite striking and others are underwhelming. The costumes are...mid imo; there are some beautiful elements and others that look too identifiably modern. Including Princess Ynez's red gown unfortunately which looks like a department store prom dress. I realize it's a high bar--the films were really really good at making everything look both futuristic and ancient, layered and textured--but you do notice the difference.
So! Many! Women! Pretty racially diverse casting too. But also omg so many characters and I already forget half their names. I'm gonna need Dune: Facebook for the next episode.
Emily Watson and Olivia Williams are already very compelling, even if you don't quite know their characters' full agendas yet. Heckin ready for some Machiavellian women scheming.
Love some of the more fucked up shit that just slides by and the information it gives you about the world. Adult (? idk maybe she's supposed to be in her late teens) woman getting engaged to a 9-year-old. Practicing Truthsaying on prisoners, some of whom have fresh bruises on their faces.
Arrakis is...the same. This one is honestly fucking me up. I know time scales in Dune are absurd and really kind of incomprehensible in comparison to real Earth history but can you imagine your home being passed around various imperialist powers for resource extraction for ten thousand years?? FOUR HUNDRED GENERATIONS. 80 years of Harkonnen rule seems like nothing. We're talking about whole eras of colonial control and resistance here. Like damn. No wonder so many Fremen have come to believe that only a messiah can save them. Imagine being someone like Chani and feeling the legacy of not decades or even centuries but millennia of struggle on your shoulders. It is gonna take me a while to fully absorb this one. Holy fuck.
Travis Fimmel's character has an...ability that we haven't seen in the Dune universe before and I'm super curious to see where they're gonna go with that.
Overall it feels like this episode was mostly setup but there's a lot of potential? Like there are a lot of potential threads that could develop into something cool and twisty and interesting. I'm not sure where any of it is going yet but I'm ready to find out.
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Agency Assignments: A comprehensive to-do list for saving Dead Boy Detectives!
I'm very easily overwhelmed, so I wanted to break down all the ways to help "Save Dead Boy Detectives" that I have seen floating around. This is meant to be something you can reference when you feel like there is so much you need and want to do to help, but don't know how or where to start.
Note: I will be updating this post as we go when necessary, so feel free to bookmark it in your browser for easy access, add it to your homepage, whatever! I'll always have a link to it in my Pinned Navigation post on my blog as well!
It is of the utmost importance that we fight as an organized, well-informed front. We need to be on the same page if we're going to save our show, so let's get into it! 💜💀🔎
➪ First and foremost, follow @savethedeadboys! They're going to be our best resource during this fight.
➪ Next, follow @deadboyagency for news and updates: they've been around since the show dropped and have been an invaluable source of information the entire time.
Now for some task breakdowns:
"One-Time" Tasks
➪ Like the header says, these things can only be done once. Once you do them, you don't have to give them any space in your mind.
Sign the petition*
Review & Rate Dead Boy Detectives on Google, IMDB, Rotten Tomatoes. Be sure on IMDB you don't just rate the show as a whole, but you also rate each individual episode! You can also "Like" the show on Google and click "Watched" which helps the show's engagement scores. (If there are other popular sites I haven't listed here, feel free to share them and rate Dead Boy Detectives highly on them!)
Notify Netflix customer service (through their online chat feature) that you're unhappy with the cancelation of Dead Boy Detectives. This is a short, 5-minute task that I wrote a guide on (with an example message) here!
"Repeat" Tasks:
➪ These tasks can become a part of your daily routine; do what works best for you! You don't have to do every single one of these tasks every day if that is overwhelming!
Share the petition* over and over again, on every one of your socials! Make everyone you love sign it!
Stream Dead Boy Detectives!* Keep it on a loop in the background on low volume as much as possible. Try to get others to stream it as well, especially if they haven't watched it before! Netflix cares about VIEWS: views save shows and I broke down the reasoning here. (Bonus: if you post over on Twitter about your rewatch, use the tag #ReviveDeadBoyDetectives)
Talk about Dead Boy Detectives!* You're probably doing that already, but just be sure that you're tagging your posts. Here on Tumblr use the "Dead Boy Detectives" tag at least (to boost our tag to trending) and anywhere that uses hashtags (Twitter, Facebook, Instagram for example) I would recommend #SaveDeadBoyDetectives and #DeadBoyDetectives as those seem to be the most commonly used tags! IMPORTANT: do not use more than 20 tags here on Tumblr! Any more than 20 and your posts might be marked as spam and hidden from the tags!
Create art, edits for TikTok, fics, gif sets, doodles, crafts, analysis posts, and so on for Dead Boy Detectives.* Having fun is important, too! This is an extension of the "Talk about Dead Boy Detectives" point, but it needs to be stated - don't remove the joy from the fight. If a drawing of our boys or a smutty fic with your favorite trickster cat king is what you can bring to the fight on any given day, that is a perfectly valuable contribution! It's not all emails and hashtags.
Daily request a show through Netflix. Bonus if you're signed in! (I do 3-5 times a day)
Send Emails advocating for Dead Boy Detectives (Email list & Email Template). You can do this as much as you want or just one time.
Send Snail-mail (physical letters) to Netflix advocating for Dead Boy Detectives. I also send a copy of my letters to Warner Bros. Studios. Again, you can do this one time or multiple times. There are dates set aside for "mass" mail sending as well, so check out info on that here!
Interact with articles posted about Dead Boy Detectives. Read them, share them, comment on them, thank the writer for writing them, etc. We want lots of press about the cancellation, and supporting journalists and publications will make them want to write about Dead Boy Detectives more.
NOTE: Anything marked with a * means it's extremely important; if you can only do a few things, these tasks are the ones that you should focus on first. Remember to take care of yourself. This is a marathon, not a sprint, so don't burn yourself out!
WE WILL SAVE THIS SHOW.
Say that to yourself as many times as it takes for you to believe it. We're doing this to get justice for the writers, the actors, for ourselves, and assert to these companies that diverse, queer stories are not disposable one-offs; they deserve to be told in full!
Hugs and Handshakes to you all - whatever will suffice. 💜 Always feel free to reach out if you have any questions, whether that be through private message or my ask box. I'm not going anywhere!
- V

#As promised! Sorry it took me longer than I originally anticipated. If I msised something please let me know!#dead boy detectives#dbda#save dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#payneland#crystal palace#niko sasaki#dbda netflix#the dead boy detective agency#monty finch#esther finch#the cat king#the night nurse#dead boy detectives netflix#the dead boy detectives#jenny green#dbda resources#dbda task list
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Write Smarter, Not Harder: 5 Ways to Conquer Chaotic Writing
Every year, we’re lucky to have great sponsors for our nonprofit events. ButterDocs, a 2023 NaNoWriMo sponsor, is an all-in-one writing app built for productivity, collaboration, and a more joyful writing experience. Today, the folks at ButterDocs share a few tips on organizing your writing to meet your goals:
NaNoWriMo is about to start, and you're champing at the bit to get to 50,000 words. But that's no easy feat! Because life doesn't stop when NaNoWriMo starts.
You're still going to have climb a mountain of chaos to reach your goal: Chaos like not being able to find your notes and outlines when you need them since they're scattered across multiple apps, or the constant lure of internet distractions.
And of course, once NaNoWriMo ends, the writing process continues. You'll need to get feedback, be able to actually easily take advantage of that feedback, and make revisions (especially if your ultimate goal isn't just a rough draft, but a polished novel).
Here are five tips from ButterDocs to beat the chaos and make your writing workflow less work and more flow.
1. Know what you're about to do.
We know you want to start maximizing your word count from Day One, but you'll thank yourself on Day Twenty if you lay the groundwork for yourself. Take some time to organize your research, develop your characters, lay out your major plot points, and consider your themes.
You don't need to buy and learn advanced plotting software. A digital whiteboard can be as intuitive as pinning index cards to a cork board.
2. Write in the best environment for you.
You're about to spend a lot of time writing. It's a good idea to get comfortable.
Think about what environment you write best in. Do you need the hubbub and energy of a busy coffee shop? Or the serenity of a cozy nook?
Once you find the right place, put the same effort into finding a writing app you'll actually enjoy writing in.
3. Stay in your writing flow.
Focus and dedication during NaNoWriMo is the whole ball game. Lose either, and your chances of hitting 50,000 words are harder.
Whatever your NaNoWriMo goals are, give yourself the best chances to succeed with tools that will help you get and stay focused. A timer, word counter, and goal tracker will help you with timed writing sprints and hitting daily writing goals.
4. Recover from distractions.
Distractions will happen. Chaotic writing aside, the human brain wants to wander for dopamine. And life inevitably gets in the way.
What's important is how you recover. Don't let one distraction or missed writing day snowball into another and another. Give yourself tools that help you get back on track. A simple notification to come back to your writing can be a big help.
5. Pull others in to help you move forward.
You may be participating in NaNoWriMo as an individual, but know this: you are not alone.
You have the entire NaNoWriMo community, among many other writing communities and groups you can turn to for any genre of writing.
When you feel stuck or need feedback on a draft, don't be afraid to ask for help. Just be sure to invite people into a writing app where you have control over the collaboration.
ButterDocs Early Access + NaNoWriMo Resources
Conquer chaotic writing by using a writing app built for exactly that. With ButterDocs, you can plan, write, share, and edit your writing all in one place, without the chaos. It's by the team that built Arc Studio, a leading screenwriting app with hundreds of thousands of users.
ButterDocs launches today in early access and we'd love to invite you to check it out for NaNoWriMo.
All NaNoWriMo participants can receive a free year of ButterDocs if you sign up by December 1st, 2023.
We're running a free online event on October 25th for everyone who signs up: "Getting (and Staying) in Your Creative Writing Zone During NaNoWriMo." with Grant Faulkner (Executive Director of NaNoWrimo), Matt Trinetti (founder of London Writers' Salon), and Allison Trowbridge (founder of CopperBooks). If you can't make it, we'll email ButterDocs users the recording afterward.
Visit https://butterdocs.com/NaNoWriMo to learn more about ButterDocs, claim your free account, and enter an exclusive sweepstakes giveaway for NaNoWriMo participants!
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CBT and Exposure Therapy: Blitzø Showcase
An important (really, don't skip) disclaimer
If you are contemplating whether or not you would benefit from any kind of therapy, consider consulting with your medical provider first. While I did my best to validate all the points made using publicly available resources, I am not a medical professional. At the very least, I strongly advise that you do your own research and not take some amateur's opinion about a character from a silly demon show for granted.
"Everyone in this show needs fucking therapy STAT!"
We hear fans screaming into the void every now and then. Me too. I plead guilty and I willingly put myself in custody. But I am not taking these words back.
Especially often it is being said with Blitzø in mind, who, as hinted earlier and clearly shown in the latest episode, Ghostfuckers, is not doing okay. Not in the slightest.
Which is . . . yes. Indeed, trauma-ridden Blitzø is a major problem for both him and those around him. Yes, we see him reaching his lowest point now exactly because he left these gaping wounds untreated for so long.
But the tricky question is—how, though? What to do? Will a good talking to a confidante help? Or, maybe, some kind of shock would snap him out of the spiral?
I've been pondering on this topic for more than 4 months, and, as the Ghostfuckers came out, I finally got all the data I need to prove a point. The show did all the job for me and effectively made Blitzø go through improvised versions of two popular therapy techniques. And, before I even start, I want to say—I am so glad with what we ended up with. What they did, and, more importantly, didn't do, aligns well with how it would likely happen in real life.
So buckle up, and let's see where it gets us!
Therapy # 1. Cognitive-behavioral therapy, or CBT
This is, in essence and with some corrections, your good old talking. Here you can find more information about it, so, if you're not familiar with the topic, I recommend following the link first.
But, very shortly: CBT is an extremely common approach to be tried while you're dealing with anxiety, depression, and a number of other mental disorders. What it aims to do is to help you get past unhelpful thinking (distortions) and learn not to act on it.
Looks like it fits the bill, right? Blitzø has a lot of issues with self-fulfilling prophecies, infuriatingly stupid assumptions, poorly thought-out actions . . .
But he's not like, you know . . . w-we're not, like . . . we're not doing a . . . w-we . . . what's betw— It's a transactional fucking, you see.
If you don't feel like coming, that's OK! I'm sure I can do without it for one month. :)
Stolas only cares about having a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his matress! It's nothing, ya know . . . it's nothing else.
You . . . no longer have any obligation to see me, to touch me, to bed me . . . You are— you are free of me.
He sees things which aren't truly there.
It's not Stolas giving him space after the disaster in the 'Ozzie's.' It must be Stolas not needing him anymore, getting tired of him.
It's not Stolas caring about Blitzø. He is a royal, why would he care how an imp's day he happened to be fucking was?
It's not Stolas setting Blitzø free and putting an end to a problematic transaction they had with the hope for it to grow into something more. It's him getting rid of Blitzø.
As a result, he ends up hurting himself and the relationship he had with that one sad gay bird he happened to fall deeply for but literally trashed in his own house twice, acting on nothing more than frenetic fear of losing Stolas, but in reality, driving him away even more . . . for good.
I mean, you royal fucks think you can do this every time, like you can just play with our feelings because we're smaller and not as important!
Ha! I'm right, aren't I? You get off getting plowed by people you look down on!
And I can sorry more people, everyone but you! 'Cause I don't owe you dick! Everyone, but you . . .
So, the case's closed? Let someone—say, Millie—talk to him and tell him how wrong he was about himself and the others?
Well, here's the thing. Despite him being infinitely wrong about Stolas's intentions, we can't deny the fact that every one of his beliefs was not, in fact, a distortion. It'd led him to wrong conclusions, yes, but it was built on the information he received and legitimate experiences he had in his life. Here are only some of the facts connected to only this situation with Stolas, but there are other problematic behaviors and other reasons for him acting the way he does.
Fact # 1. The circus fire did happen, and Blitzø was the reason for it. Unintentional, and of course it wasn't his fault, but it still ruined the lives of many people—him included. Blitzø cannot act like it never occurred.
Fact # 2. Hell is divided by class and race. Their situationship with the grimoire was an embodiment of that inequality. A lot of Blitzø's outburst during the Full Moon and later in the Apology Tour was connected to it, to his beliefs that Stolas is the same as the rest of the privileged circle. Beliefs, I stress, justified by the real world. Stolas is more of an exception, and even then, his behavior is only different when it comes to Blitzø. He still acts the same toward other imps.
Fact # 3. We knew about Stolas's intentions all along, but before that fateful Full Moon, what Blitzø saw was Stolas avoiding him and not communicating the issue the Ozzie's date had raised. And before Ozzie's? Stolas did act entitled and inappropriate. He was baby-talking to Blitzø and used derogatory terms while addressing him. The dude literally called him an impish plaything in the Truth Seekers.
Fact # 4. Blitzø's heavily implied (though not officially confirmed by the show) existing conditions—ADHD*, BPD**, PTSD, and dyslexia/dyscalculia***—do affect his life, and while Hell seems to be somewhat receptive of neurodivergence, he still has to deal with it every single fucking day. He is going to be avoidant and afraid to be abandoned at the same time. He is going to hate himself. His learning disabilities are going to make his life harder. No way around it.
Note: *, **, and *** contain links to separate meta-analyses from @timkontheunsure and @tealvenetianmask about the respective conditions and how they show themselves in Blitzø's case.
And my beef with CBT here is exactly that. CBT's goal is to gaslight you into believing your distortions hold no water and suggests you just ignore them. And, as I've shown with Blitzø, these reactions and assumptions aren't baseless. They are legitimate, and, in fact, sometimes help to get by. Even though it's a crooked crutch, you can't learn to walk properly by just throwing that crutch away. You're still going to limp, and oh, will it be painful.
This is oversimplistic and dismissive. Anxiety and depression don't come out of the blue, and with mental disabilities, it's even deeper. The class/disability stigma is alive and strong, and just slapping a "you're fine" bandaid on your traumatized self isn't going to help.
Therapy # 2. Exposure therapy.
Exposure therapy is another approach commonly used while dealing with traumatic past and its aftermath—PTSD, anxiety, phobias, and such. Again, if you're not familiar, there's the link for you, but very shortly—the therapist puts the patient in a safe environment and 'exposes' them to the feared object in question for limited periods of time. The goal is to eventually get rid of the targeted fear and decrease avoidance.
And Blitzø has got some phobias for sure.
The fear of letting everyone down. Again.
And the fear of abandonment. Again.
All of it is a result of self-hatred, sitting so deeply it rules his life and his vision of how others perceive him. Said it himself. Almost.
So, where and how does the show expose Blitzø to his traumatic past?
First, the most recent, and the most obvious one—Rolando and his slideshow of all traumatic events Blitzø ever had in his life.
Second—Blitzø's drug trip in the Truth Seekers. While it does not contain the events of the past as they were, it does force him to face his fears.
Are you worried I might have enough of it one day as well? . . . You're going to die alone! . . . You're going to die alone, Blitzo!
With some stretch, the third one is Verosika's 'Blitzo sucks' party. Where Blitzø was forced to see the consequences of his avoidance and rejection.
Note: to be clear, I do think the party does not show the true extent of Blitzø's actions and how much he'd hurt people. It was exaggerated by Verosika, and here I explain why this is the case.
So, what gives? Or, rather, what gives it not?
It might sound funny now, considering I brought it up myself, but I, once again, say this is not therapeutic, just as CBT kind of 'talking.' If anything, all these three events did more harm than good.
The D.H.O.R.K.S.'s goal in the Truth Seekers was to torture the information out of Blitzø. He was not supposed to overcome it. He was supposed to crack.
The Verosika's goal was to ruin Blitzø's reputation. She was working her ass off to prove he's just a heartless freak.
The Rolando's goal was to fucking kill Blitzø.
And okay, their motivations had nothing to do with helping him, but maybe it did, in its own twisted way?
No. The writers added this to push Blitzø past the breaking point, not to heal him, and to show us more of his lore. Each time he was forced to face his past or fears or consequences, he was only spiraling more.
The only thing which did him some good was . . . well, Millie finally seeing his bravado mask falling off. But the cost of it was way too high. Not worth it.
To the therapy's defense, some points why it would never work in the way it was done in the show:
Blitzø had never given his consent and was not ready to face it. I might be very rude right now, but go and try producing some explosion-like sounds in front of war veterans without letting them know first and see what happens.
The amount of fearful experience exposed was way too overboard. He couldn't possibly digest it in a healthy way.
The environment was not safe. It was straight-up retraumatizing, an intentional one.
So there's that.
But what helped then?
We've briefly brushed over the fact Millie did talk to Blitzø. While I did imply this might be an example of CBT, here are some key deviations from the classic therapy which made all the difference.
Millie didn't sugarcoat all the shit Blitzø did. He was hurting their business. He didn't pay her. He was reduced to Bethanie. It showed her opinion can be trusted.
Millie apologized for not being there for him sooner. She admitted she relied too much on Blitzø being bulletproof, unbothered by everything. She admitted she didn't support him in a way he always did.
While proving she could never hate Blitzø, she used their common story, one he knows and can recall. She used evidence to prove him wrong, not a "it's all in your head" bandaid. And more than that, later she proved it with action—not for one second did she believe Rolando and his shittalk about what Blitzø supposedly was thinking about her. Her unwavering faith spoke more than any words ever could.
Getting back to exposure therapy . . . Metaphorically, she reminded Blitzø he can handle a beating or two. And physically beat the infestor demon out of him, which, as we can see later, didn't really affect Blitzø that much. He wasn't even battered. So, apparently, when the said exposure is done by someone who genuinely tries to make you feel better and knows your limits well, it might just work?
And finally, Millie acknowledged Blitzø's pain. She didn't brush it away. She validated him.
What all of this is about?
Like every treatment, too much of a medicine can become poisonous. So are CBT and exposure therapy.
They might help, and lots of research shows they do in certain cases. But there are limitations to what they can and cannot achieve, and they have to be adjusted to each individual story, to each trauma, and they should not be applied as a way to mend the outcome of the trauma without taking into account the story it comes with. Again, legitimate concerns and experiences cannot be brushed away or ignored.
Actualy . . . we've seen where it leads in the show too. In the beginning, Millie was quite dismissive of Blitzø's worries—all of this over a . . . breakup?
And here it comes full circle.
Only when Millie started taking Blitzø seriously, did it help them progress. And look how quickly we've switched from a complete despair to a glimmer of hope! Isn't that a beautiful closing scene?
As a closing note—we do not need to 'fix' Blitzø. After all this shit he went through, there won't be a day where he wakes up and be like, "Hey, I don't hate myself anymore! And look, I'm not afraid to be abandoned or misunderstood!"
I'm sorry to break it to you, but this is a lifelong battle. Being mentally whole, healthy, and constantly happy is no more than a myth, and everyone has their own demons and skeletons to deal with.
What Blitzø needs is some good support system to pull him back when he's down.
And boy, do I hope that one particular owl will fill in that role of unyielding pillar for Blitzø each time our lizard will fall into that pit again. Look, I love Millie, but there's only so much she can do. She can't be always present, she has her own life . . . and her own disaster of a husband to look after (affectionate <3). Here and here @lost-romantique talks about Stolas's capacity of loving, with me occasionally nodding, ha-ha. But to be short—it's fucking immense. And since he loves words, I do believe he has all the energy to tell again and again and again how awesome Blitzø is. Even if Blitzø wouldn't believe it himself.
#I'm ashamed to admit how many times I did a complete rewrite of this thing#and how long did I put off this meta#but hey#now it's out of my system#also this fucking tumblr and its 30 images limit#forced me to delete some nice screenshots#but oh well#akira's whimpery metas#tw self-hatred#tw trauma#tw ptsd#tw abuse#helluva boss#helluva boss spoilers#helluva boss ghostfuckers#helluva boss meta#blitzø#millie#stolitz#stolas#stolas x blitz#stolas goetia#blitz x stolas#blitz
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Aliens are floored by tardigrades
Life is pretty resilient. It has to be, especially if the rest of the Galaxy thinks we're from a Deathworld. In comparison then, if their planets are not as demanding, would life there ever be under enough pressure to survive to go to the extreme lengths that some Earth creatures do? I think one of the most profound things aliens might learn from Earth and Humanity is just how powerful life itself can be.
That itself could shake their understanding of themselves - a billion year old civilization could never even conceive of a thing we accept as simple fact, ushering a revolution in thinking not seen in eons.
___________________________
The Galactic Coalition scientists are busying themselves with obtaining, analyzing, categorizing, and integrating the libraries of information Humanity has brought with them as they incorporate into the greater space faring matrix of civilizations.
A good grasp of Physics, though lacking in certain fields for now; unmatched Engineering doctrines, they really do think of everything, although, perhaps, better to say - they really do attempt everything, then take notes and improve for the next attempt.
Chemistry is another fine addition to the collective knowledge base, a disproportionate part of the catalogue is comprised entirely of explosive reagents and combinations - always good to know more about what NOT to do.
And Biology. Oh boy. What a chaotic but beautiful but also disturbing mess. Life on most planets has a long period of just chugging along, surviving as best it can, until eventually something has the bright idea to evolve the ability to have bright ideas. Then in almost no time at all (on a cosmic scale) a dominant intelligence emerges and civilization alongside it, and in the blink of an eye it finds itself exploring the stars.
A similar pattern happened on Earth, but interrupted alarmingly often by utter catastrophes. Humans call them Mass Extinctions. It is exceedingly rare to find life that can talk about its own extinction events. Kind of deflates the term a bit. Life on planets as inhospitable (by Galactic norms) as Earth tends to be found only as fossils, and almost always on the microscopic level - very rarely do they get the chance to form more complex and advanced lifeforms before the planet with its harsh conditions and scarce resources kills it just as randomly as it spawned it.
We were incredibly saddened to learn from the Humans that the biodiversity of Earth had dwindled by roughly 85% since they accidentally created that giant hole on their planet, and that it had already been on a steady decline before then. Even so, when they revealed there were still 2.4 million species alive on Earth was a shockingly high number. Most are on the brink of extinction, yes, but the fact remains that Earth is easily one of the most biodiverse planets in the Galaxy.
Then we started looking at each individual species and learned about the Tardigrade.
what
It is literally the toughest creature ever discovered, and it's not even close. At least, so far, we haven't looked at absolutely everything Earth has or had yet.
It can just... basically turn itself off and then back on again when the outside becomes livable again - Cryptobiosis, or suspending their metabolism, something we considered only possible through artificial means. And the levels of various extreme they can endure and still be alive would just be utterly ridiculous if they didn't give us samples to confirm for ourselves.
Then we came across the term Extremophile and just decided to take a day off.
#earth is weird#earth is space australia#earth is a deathworld#nature is weird#tardigrade#that's how my brain works#I too learned of that term only now#so it was time to stop before things got out of hand#carionto
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Bad End: Heroic Collection

New Haven wasn't a major metropolis. Some big city like Delhi or Tokyo, Jakarta and the like. It was big for the area. A major hub for commerce and crime on a local scale. But Nationally? INTERNATIONALLY? Not even close. No matter WHAT the great ambitions that haunted the Mayor, late at night, may tell you.
So, really, there was NO fucking reason for any A Listers to be here.
NONE.
Our biggest exports were fancy fucking jams and that one fashion line I couldn't pronounce. We had honest to God Jam festivals in the fall. It was a circuit, Mayor gave out awards. There were pies. Firestrike always ate himself sick. Agent always laughed at him. I... Fuck, my head was ringing. I'd hit that last building HARD. Was pretty sure I tasted blood. Not... not sure if that was because I busted something in my mouth or...
Over my comms, I could hear my teammates fighting. Trying to hail the Alliance. If we could... could just hold on...
Long enough for the major players to GET here?
Then what? I had to wonder. Staring at a burning bus in front of me. It was half way lodged through Mrs. Brahimi's shop. Please, God, let her and the workers have got out all right. I'd been there just this morning. She made me those stuffed flatbread things. Said I was still too skinny. Should rest more.
I use the twist remains of a book return to lever myself to my feet. Book..? Oh. I'm by the library. Which..? Fuck. Main one. That's city hall.
Smoke rises around the city I've lived in all my life. Fires everywhere. I'm supposed... supposed to be a hero. But I can barely stand. Feel sick as the world sways. My body is one big bruise. Gotta... gotta keep fighting. Helping. Save people.
In the distance, I can hear screams.
I'm coming. I promise. I'm coming!
I make my screaming body move. Stumble. Catch myself. Then keep going. The hiss and spit in my ear tells me that my communicator is probably half broken. I don't try it, in case that breaks it the rest of the way. Wrench doors from half crushed cars to free trapped civilians. Lever wreckage, hold it with trembling limbs, so people can crawl to safety. Run. Please, god, RUN!
We aren't strong enough.
He's here, The Collective.
A hivemind super threat. Alien supposedly. So far above my team's pay grade we know basically nothing. The kind of thing we were expected to never realistically see. We're nobody's. Fuck it, we're HAPPY being nobody's. It meant we got to go home each night. Didn't face The Horrors. Like him.
He CONSUMES.
Hungry. Trying to fill some void that's never going to fill. Supposedly a planet eater. Gutting worlds for resources, materials, to continue his own expansion. Now fixated on Earth for it's continued refusal to die. For its defiance. Some A+ sort of monster, to our high C rank. At best.
Fuck... we dealt with HUMANS. Fought gimmicks and tech. Little fish in our little pond. Now this tsunami was bringing the ocean to US and it was all we could do, to swim and survive.
I leaned against a half smashed car. Braced myself against it, more then anything, then started pulling pot shots. I... I was gonna black out soon. With a concussion like this? Probably wasn't gonna be waking up. Especially if those THINGS found me before a friendly did.
All across the city I called home, The Collective had Drones tearing the place apart.
They'd almost be pretty. Tall, elegant, androgynous lookin, supermodel twinks in battle armor. Drones apparently covered their lower face. I'd know the "commander" by their uncovered face and "use of adornments". Useful! Except they could fucking SWITCH on command, so you have to take out ALL of them.
Because they weren't a collection of different soldiers.
THEY weren't a THEY. That? Was a fucking HE. Singular.
You don't consider each of your individual cell as people. Each follicle of hair. Why would HE? God damn it. It was like fighting a giant. Against Gods. They just kept coming. And my ammo? Was not endless.
Worse. The drones had stopped looking. I don't know WHAT they had been searching for. But now? They started to converge on me. On city hall. Fuck. I... I couldn't even really stand anymore. My vision was blurring. I knew for a FACT my shots were shit. But dense as they were crowding? It seemed enough. Kept them back.
Three cartridges left.
Two.
Only one more...
The Alliance was coming. Half my team had gone silent. I could hear tears in the voice of Tech, back in the office. They had our life signs. Built into our armor. I could only imagine what mine looked like. Prayed, like I hadn't since I was a kid, that the others were just unconscious. Safe somewhere.
Someplace this nightmare couldn't reach them.
I doubted I was that lucky.
Tech was begging me to hold on. Giving me ETAs. And... And I was out of bullets. The block half full of Drones. I had escrima sticks. A fucking tazer. It would have to do. Sticks came out, as I swayed to my feet. No longer letting the car behind me hold my weight. What's a little... let's say, hundred or so, on one? Eh?
Bring your friends. Let's make it a fair fight.
I'll go easy on you.
Bravado until the end. Remember, never know who's watching. You are a symbol. Before you are a man, you are their HERO. Don't you DARE let them down. Even if you die. Especially when you die. B.. Bravado until the end. Plaste on a smirk and say a one-liner, we got hope to shoulder.
I took down about three Drones... I think... before the rest swarm me.
Feel hands pinning my arms. My torso. Everything. A weak point between the panels is ripped open. High grade military fabrics doing jack shit against their impossible strength. The distinct pinch tug of a needle in my skin. Cold spreading. The sudden exhaustion of a powerful sedative. I... am gone.
Time... is blurry.
Now and Then running together in my senses. My brain. The concussion doesn't help. Or... or didn't? It feels... gone? Gone-ing? Oh... look, sky. Clouds. Pretty. Wasn't I standing? I am standing. No... no being dragged. Chair? Not chair. Stairs? Carried. Pretty window..... where am I? Fuzzy. Bluzzy fuzzy purple beans~ he he he~ oh! Those are the... watch'ma call it! Gucci chairs! That rich lady had! Neat. Plurble.
Ouch! Why'd you pi...?
My mouth is dry as sand. But suddenly? I am hyper aware. The floating drift of my mind VIOLENTLY gone, replaced by alerted and focus. Drones surround me in a vaguely familiar hallway. Shit. I think it's that rich designer's place. My helmet is off, but my mask is still in place, thank god. The Drones stand far to close for my liking. Their many eyes, amused.
So glad to entertain, you Fuck.
I am frog marched down the hall. Damn near dragged. They were too smart to restrain me with my own cuffs, unfortunately. So my hands are bound behind my back with something tight I can't get a good feel off. Bastard secured it to my belt, too. Great.
The Collective's "Face" is surrounded by what must be every jewel in the city. Piled high in some vague sorting pattern I refuse to even try and comprehend. He's trying on rings. One on every finger, to see what matches his skin tone. Looks good. Already, he has a pearl stud and some earrings he's decided he likes. He looks up as I'm dragged in, and I realize immediately what one of "a few other differences" between him and the Drones are...
It's the EYES,
They GLOWED.
Metallic almost. Nearly neon. They reflected the light in a way the Drones simply did not. It made their face... horrificly predatory. Made for WATCHING, somehow. Unnerving and haughty. Beautiful still, but uncomfortable to be near.
Sitting up on a table that basicly swallows the room, dead center like a show piece on display, with one long leg tossed over the other and no fucking shirt on? The Face looks almost carefully, artfully, staged. To maximize some "haughty yet coy, alien prince who maybe wants to fuck you" shtick.
Does... Does he not realize I'm NOT one of the usual opponents? I mean. Flattered at the "join me! The Darkside has sex and cookies!" set up. Always fun. Classic, really. But, like? I would be... at BEST... a solidly MID goon.
Also "NO".
Gonna preemptively throw that out there. Maybe some expletives for flavor. Suggest someplace sunless to shove it. SOLID "No". Good try, though.
Around me, the Drones are shaking with silent laughter. Staring down at me, their pale eyes dancing with amusement. It's creepy as hell. Unnerving to be the center of attention like this. For this many eyes, utterly in synch, to surround and watch my every twitch. Act fascinated and amused, like I'm some little animal performing tricks.
The Face hasn't dropped his Seduction to the Darkside routine. If anything, he seems delighted by the defiance. Which... yeah, that tracks. It's why he's harrasing out planet to begin with. That one's definitely on me. So, better question? Not that I'm not glad and all? Why the FUCK am I not dead.
"And lose my HERO? Perish the thought~" drawles The Collective, the posture light and lazy, even as something dangerous threaded itself through their tone. It sounded... possessive. But that couldn't be right. "I would NEVER do such a thing! In fact, we are going to have to be far more careful with that little processor of yours. Far too fragile. Just the one, too. Horrifying, really."
Thanks. Just what every guy loves to really make 'im feels special. Insults.
Fucker.
More laughter from all around me. I grit my teeth. Come oooon, Alliance. Where the hell ARE you guys!? Could REALLY use a rescue! The hands holding me still are drifting. Fucking handsy. Damn near stroking even as they hold me immobile. They're looking for the clasps and buckles on my armor. Have already found the obvious ones. Fingers oh so casually drifting over, to grip, flex, and tear them apart.
I do NOT like how loose my armor is starting to feel. Barely able to hold on. Protect me. Limited as that protection may be. I think I'm developing a horrifying empathy for clams. Crustaceans in general. Anything that gets slowly pried from the safety of it's shell, too certain doom.
The Face casually tosses the rings he was playing with aside. Tens of thousands of dollars bouncing off to God only knows where. He slides from the table to stand. Shit. He's huge.
The androgynous twink supermodel thing he has going on? Fucking LIES. Twists your perception of how, EXACTLY, strong the Face body IS. He clears seven feet easily, is muscled in that distinctly "never see me coming until it's too late" sort of way all the ninja types are.
The tattoos. It's the FUCKING tattoos! They give the illusion that he's slimmer then he actually is.
It HIDES MUSCLE MASS.
I can't tell if that's vanity or strategy and I hate it. Glare as he sashays towards me. Hips rolling in that elegant catwalk strut. I'm forced to my knees. Because of course I am. How ELSE will the bastard loom and gloat? Though really, weak as I currently feel, it's more that the Drones holding me up? Stop doing that. My knees more or less just give up on their own.
"Like what you see? You're staring so intently~" He mocks. If he were being genuine, I'd call it teasing. Flirtatious. But I know better. "It IS a pretty body, isn't it? I worked hard on it, you know. All sort of fun little details~ Might honestly be one of my favorites. If you're good for me, I'll let you explore it~"
THERE it is.
Darkside. Sex and cookies. Sign up today. Fuck you and not in the fun way. Keep your hands to yourself, Collective. You're not convincing me. You could tell me the sky was blue, and I'd make three presentations with a PowerPoint, on why you were a liar. No, still No, and a hefty fuck off No for spice.
Three steps away. Two steps. One.
A man that tall and dangerous? Frankly did NOT need heels. Figures he'd wear them anyway. Sharp enough to kill a man. Right infront of my folded knees. I refuse to look up. No more fucking games. Did have to wonder, though, if those pants... if they even WERE pants? Were painted on or not. Very tight. Looked vaguely metal yet leather.
Shit.
Fingers, splayed wide as they run themselves through my sweaty and probably bloodstained hair. Couldn't have been nice to touch. Wrong angle and just a touch too big to be a Drone. Light as a lover, sweet almost, soothing. Before it inevitably tightens, gripping the strands. Honestly not as hard as I expected, didn't even hurt.
Still, my head is forced back.
Back and back and back, forced to arch my spine, hang awkwardly at some forty-five degree angle. My thighs and abs already screaming. A Drone grabs the back of my armor and, with an almost casual yank, my chest plate is violently snapped free. Both tossed to the floor away from us.
"There we are~" the Face hums down at me, eyes nearly hypnotic in how the light moved from within, grin full of sharp and deadly teeth. "No more of that ugly thing in the way. I much prefer this~"
"Tell me, Little Hero, do you remember? Becoming mine."
No, I certainly do fucking not. What the HELL is he-!? From behind the Face a Drone steps. Dressed differently to the others. Casual clothes. Like... actual street clothes. If they weren't GREEN I never would been able too-...
In horror, I watch as the pigment of the Drones skin melts away to a middling average. So utterly nondescript a blend of ethnicities that it's genuinely hard to place, but won't stand out no matter where he goes in the city.
I... I had seen that face.
SAVED that man.
Thought he was CUTE! T..Thought WE were having some sort of MEET CUTE! Oh God. That was at the festival. I was out of costume. Saved him from getting crushed. Then my teammates handled everything before I could slip away. So I just... stayed. Showed the cute tourist the festivities.
We ate FANCY JAMS, YOU FUCK!
I pined our that cute tourist for WEEKS. Was UNBEARABLE. Tech threatened to shove me off a roof! Oh my god.
Laughter.
Dozens of mouths, laughing in perfect sync. The noise layered and bouncing strangely around the room. Deeper then it should be, higher as it swings. Like a radio or voice modulator that someone is messing with. A momentary loss of control. My anger fizzles out to fear. Oh... oh yeah...
I forgot I was fucked.
At.. at least I know why?
A step forward. Past too close and now basically in my lap. A foot on either side of my knees. I try not to think exactly where my face would be pressed if I wasn't dragged back, to hang near painfully arched, so he could lean down and I could be forced to make eye contact. That way lay madness.
He moved his other hand to my face, cupping it. Dragging his thumb possessively across my mouth. He hummed, pleased.
He pressed closer, sliding down my front to his knees, straddling my lap. REALLY hoped that WAS, in fact, a weapon in your pocket there, buddy. Because I am not liking the handsy direction this is going, nor have I come to terms with my meet cute being a monstrous planet killing warlord. Not feeling sexy, my guy.
....okay, a LITTLE sexy, but that is hormones and we ignore those.
Fuuuuuck, wandering haaaaands! Now would be a GOOD TIME for door kicking rescues! I do NOT want to learn anything new about myself today! I want to go HOME. Sleep forever, maybe! Have a burrito the size of my head! Oh god. Think unsexy thoughts. Math. Sad puppies! Sad puppies doing MATH!
The Collective had dragged me upright. Pressed my face right up against their Face's bare skin. All I could smell was expensive cologne and man. Warm skin. Oh god, I am so gay. This is hell and I am very, VERY gay. If evil, why sexy hot hot hot? Hormones are making very convincing arguments. Horny brain says let's make terrible life choices.
No! Nooooo. Stop it, Me! We are fucking better then this! God damn it, you trainwreck, you are a ROLE MODEL! Act like one! (But horny...) (NO!!!)
God I was never going to mock the fuckers who hesitates at the "sex n cookies" speech again. Persuasive mother FUCKER!
"Aah~" he sighed contentedly, far too close to a moan for my sanity's liking. Hands having finally found the hidden zippers of my undersuit. Slowly dragging it open. "You are FAR too cute~♡"
"I can't wait to get you off this worthless little rock. Back to ME. I'll have so many WAYS to take care of you~ Backups and rudimentary supports we can set up, at least until I get you something proper."
Horrifying. Deeply Horrifying. REALLY never wanted to know what terrified and horny felt like, but here we are. Distantly, I hear thunder. There's no clouds. A flash of red through the skies. Green followed by metallic purple. Oh thank fuck. Keep his attention. Just... just keep his attention.
"We'll use me as a base. Keep you in stasis. Away from all these ugly, dangerous things~! Just you and me. Perfect. BETTER. Infinite and beautiful. I'll make all sort of bodies just for you to play with. Even let you keep this one! If you want. It'll be a precious memory for us, of where you began. How we met."
A mouth on mine. I can't breathe. Can't escape the arms wrapped around me. My protests do little more then waste oxygen. I feel light headed. Come one, team Alliance! He's here! HE'S HERE!!!
"You're going to be MINE, little Hero. I finally figured it out. What I was missing. It was YOU~♡! My beloved, delicate, little thing~. I'm going to take SUCH good care of you."
"Forever~"
#threepandas#yandere#yandere x reader#yanblr#reader insert#yanderecore#unreliable narrator at first#male reader#superhero reader#bad end heroic collection#bad end heroic collection au#tw sa#the Collective is completely ignoring readers boundaries#do not be like the Collective#gay reader#long post#long read#yandere villain#yandere hivemind#tw death#teammates might be dead#we dont know
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Anyways I was thinking about the fact that Orion was literally dying while D-16 was holding onto his hand before dropping him. Like, his fingers are twitching like he can't really control them, his left eye (the side that blown out) was flickering.
And with that I was thinking about what could've been if D-16 kind of stayed inside his "Why did you do that why?" mental state rather than fully transitioning into Megatron with "I'm done saving you", and pulled Orion up.
Now obviously since Orion is literally dying, and after he is actually dropped in the movie, dies while he is passing through the first chunk of shifting metallic structures (as he is fully gray after that point, whereas he still had his blue and color when he was starting his fall), he doesn't really have much time anyways. Which leads to two main outcomes:
1: The more likely option: He dies regardless
So, in this little what if, Orion is pulled up. Doesn't change the fact that the left side of his chest got blown to bits and he's dying. And chances are, either no medical bot can reach him, or if they do, they can't stabilize him, whether due to lack of time, lack of resources, or something completely different. Point is, Orion will die.
Main difference is that he won't be alone. D-16 will be there, obviously feeling guilty, probably going through it emotionally. B-127 and Elita will also get there are some point. (whether that is while he's still alive or after he is dead is another question though, because they can't just fly up there.) Meaning that Orion can have last minute conversations, especially with D-16 in particular, maybe having a better chance at appealing to D-16's better nature regarding Sentinel. As such, Orion's death might be a bit more peaceful, and most likely, his features in death would likely be a bit more happy and relaxed than they were in the movie (because that was not the face of a bot who had a good death. Not at all. That was the face of a bot who just got betrayed by the person closest to him).
So, anyways, Orion dies, and D-16 (as well as the others, but we're mainly focusing on D) is grieving. Now, what would this mean for Sentinel. Would D-16 let him go or still kill him. Honestly I could see that going either way. However, even if D-16 kills Sentinel, I can't really see him going full-blown Megatron in this option, as he is still kinda grieving his best friend (whereas in the movie he just dropped him and was kinda done with it). I don't know, I just don't think he'd be as brutal with Sentinel's death here, or take his cog? It kinda seems more likely that he'd just shoot him and be done with it there, and go back to grieving Orion, if he goes after Sentinel at all (that doesn't mean no one else will. For all we know Starscream or someone else will go after Sentinel. Just means he might be safe from D-16).
Now, Orion and the Matrix. Would it come to him? No idea. I don't know if Primus and the Original 13 Primes would require him to be in the Core to give him the Matrix, or are willing to slingshot it up to him or some shit. Because Orion still made his sacrifice. He jumped in front of the gun (where he had to know at least on some small level that he was risking getting shot, but not fully), saving Sentinel but dooming himself. The only difference is that D-16 didn't sacrifice him right after that, because he didn't drop him. That's the only difference. So it'd very much rely on how the Primes and Primus like to deliver the Matrix.
Now for the second, less likely option:
2: Orion survives
In this one some medical bot would have had to come in time and be able to stabilize him enough to survive (obviously in a hospital for a little while). Obviously there's sadness and grief in the air but also some happiness and more hope because Orion is alive, and not dead.
Now, again, what about Sentinel? Honestly I feel like Sentinel's chances of survival would be higher than they would be in the option were Orion dies. I mean, he could still be sicced, but it just doesn't feel as likely, y'know? Like if someone just found out that the person (who they also shot) might make it out alive, I think that they'd be a bit less willing to kill someone else at the moment, and are more likely going to just try and be there with that person they almost killed. (On the flipside however, he could pull a Miko and while Orion is recovering go after Sentinel in jail or something. Who knows.)
And now for the Matrix, again. I feel like with this option it would be a lot less likely for it just to be slingshotted up there rather than just somehow materializing near Orion somewhere, if it is even gifted to Orion (again goes back to how the Primes and Primus are willing to gift the Matrix). But since Orion is alive, even though the sacrifice was the same as option 1 pretty much, that might change how the Matrix is gifted. For all we know it'll just magically appear in Orion's hospital room at some point while he's alone. Or it might not appear at all (For all the sake of all the bots on Cybertron though it would be better for it to appear, to get Energon flowing again and all).
Anyways these may be stretches in some ways, and some things may not be that clear and concise, so yeah. Thank you for listening to my yapfest.
#transformers#tf one#transformers one#orion pax#d16#orion pax tf one#d16 tf one#maccadam#toasty's rants#toasty's movie annotating#megatron#tf one megatron#sentinel prime#tf one sentinel prime#matrix of leadership
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Since you mentioned the name several times now I looked up who Nikki Maxwell is. From the basic description of her on her wiki page I can kinda see some similiarities to Marinette and now I wonder if you have some more in-depth comparisons between the two to share that would explain your remark on Marinette beeing a copy of her. I think the description of the character doesn't make her seem particularly unique and a character-type I'd expect to appear often in these kind of youth novels.
---
Sure thing! Here's some fun facts about the Dork Diaries series, one of the most best-selling kids’ books of the 2000s, that have been translated into 50+ languages, including French:
Nikki's iconic look is having her hair in pigtails.
She often babysits a small girl with pigtails.
She is a good artist.
She is, despite her poor self esteem, very talented in many areas.
She is extremely clumsy and prone to getting into embarrassing situations.
She gets overly embarrassed about the most inconsequential things.
She has a tendency for highly exaggerated panic spirals, where she comes up with imaginary scenarios that are full of fantastical events and are often illustrated in an anime/manga style.
She gets mad easily and it can take her a while to get over perceived slights.
She’s a bad liar but people believe her anyway.
She is a huge hypocrite, who often does things she claims to not do. (Unlike Marinette, her internal narration almost always points this out.)
She has a crush on a boy in her class, mostly based on the fact that he is nice, and her rival in school also likes him.
Brandon, said crush, is very popular but still a loner, and socially awkward.
MacKenzie, Nikki's rival, is a rich blonde bully who wears diamonds often (and very familiar-looking sunglasses at one point). Despite her vast resources, she always loses against Nikki in whatever they're competing in.
MacKenzie is a more classic “queen bee”, than Chloé, but does get called such canonically.
MacKenzie eventually transfers schools because she stopped having power and prestige over her classmates.
Nikki's biggest character flaw is a lack of communication, where she puts off telling people things she thinks they won't like hearing. (Unlike Marinette, she actually has to make it up to people when they find out she's been lying to them.)
A typical plotline in Dork Diaries is that, despite being well-liked, having devoted friends and caring parents, Nikki often hides her problems from them and struggles needlessly.
Nikki eventually gains a secondary love interest, André, who looks eerily similar to Luka in illustrations, in addition to having Astruc's favorite French guys' name.
Nikki's classmates include characters named Max, Chloe and Zoe, with Chloe and Zoe being closely associated with each other. (You know what I always say: two is a coincidence, three is a pattern, and we're now counting four same names.)
Many of these things are, to be fair, very basic school drama protagonist cliches. However, when it's this much similarity between two supposedly unrelated characters, especially with some of the highly specific similarities here, like the animesque imagine spots, it's a pattern and not a coincidence. Is the pattern that there's some template both Nikki and Marinette are based on (like how Vegeta and Hiei’s similarities are because they’re both based off the same older character), or did Astruc copy his protagonist from a mega hit of children’s, especially girls’, literature to try to copy that success? Who knows. It's not like we can expect Astruc to be honest about whether or not he copied Marinette's personality from literature.
I know Astruc hasn't actually read the stuff he claims to have read, so that's a point in favor of Astruc being a too lazy reader to copy someone else's work. However, he must have grown familiar with all these tropes somehow. You can’t hit this many hallmarks of a genre without being somewhat familiar with it, and this genre is the most prolific in literature, and there is research data showing that children often prefer either books or television, so he could reasonably expect the audience not to realize how copy-pasted Marinette is.
Miraculous and Dork Diaries share DNA. How directly they’re related I can’t tell, because I’m not that knowledgeable about the school drama genre.
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SO! You've seen these little things I do sometimes and you want to know the process!
It's genuinely super simple, so here goes! Apologies by the way if anything is unclear or glossed over. A lot of this is personal taste and such so I hope this can be a nice boost to create something!
RESOURCES AND THINGS TO KNOW!
To preface this little guide already assumes you have basic knowledge of color distribution, lineless art, or breaking up art into proper layers for later processing! I am also assuming that your art program has access to scatter brushes and tiling textures. Personally I use Clip Studio Paint, but this can work on other apps. Anyways, here are some good sites for this:
EZGIF - Free, easy gif maker for assembling any kind of gif*! It also has stuff like converting those damn WEBP's back into png.
*PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU CANNOT MAKE GIFS THAT ARE PARTIALLY TRANSPARENT. YOU MUST USE A SOLID COLOR UNDER ANY PART THAT IS OVER BARE CANVAS
Transparent Textures - Free to use source for HQ transparent textures that tile! Amazing for finding a paper texture for these if you commit to the paper doll look. Best results for textures that are in white or black!
So! You have a finished, prepared piece that you want to glitterfy. Well I'm not covering that right now so you can scroll down to That part if you came just for the glitter. This next section is for...
PREPARING THE PAPER DOLL
To start, your piece should already be separated into respective layers in any order you'd like! We're about to use a ton of clipping masks so Make sure you know your program before starting! So, as my example we have my oc Roy, resized to around... 1500x1500 or the nearest equivalent Smaller is better because it brings out the texture! He looks a little ah...Flat, though right now?
I'm using this guy for a couple different reasons! Those being:
Roy has translucent bodyparts! Just so you will know what to do with characters who are translucent! I'll get to this in a moment so sit tight
He has a clear, defined, and distinct palette that is easy to pick a color to slap the glitter on! This is important because I personally find balance to be the most appealing part of the finished art.
He also just has a lot of doohickeys on his design.
This is where you need your transparent texture! You can use any kind of texture and I encourage experimentation and such, but I personally use a simple paper texture. What we are going to do is go through and clip our imported and tiled texture to each applicable layer! (Make sure to just Copy and Paste the layer you do NOT need to repeatedly go through this menu...)
And... When you are done, you should have something like this:
"But why don't I just clip the texture to the entire piece through a folder? Why go through the hassle of clipping to each individual layer?"
Well that's because of the next step, where we will be adding the shadows. If we don't clip each individual layer, your shadows will look like this example on the left which sort of just ruins the 3D effect and kinda just looks icky, as opposed to this, which is nicer and smoother.
Now I'm no lighting wiz! In fact I'm rather mediocre at best but some general tips for adding the shadows:
Try to keep your shadows going all in one direction mostly! It gives the effect of one light source and generally just looks better than if you shaded around ALL edges everywhere.
Try to only shade where there are parts overlapping that need the dimension! Overdoing it can make the piece look odd. It's especially helpful to separate any details like different shades of hair, layers of hair, etc so that you can put as much volume as you want.
Once the shadows are all added in you should have something that looks like this:
Which looks good! Now I'd sometimes stop here if I can't pinpoint how I'd like the glitter to sit or if I think the piece just doesn't need it, but we're moving on to the big important steps!
ADDING GLITTER
This part is entirely up to your taste! But I'll describe how I do my glitter stuff. Firstly I start out by identifying which color I want to pop out. For Roy here I chose the red parts! For your character it may be different. Experimentation is key!
This is also, however where you need that scatter brush I mentioned earlier. Personally I just use the default CSP spray brush, but again go wild!
Make a folder above your piece, set its blending mode to glow dodge (or add, or add glow depending on what options you have), and create three layers inside of this folder. Setting the folder to clip is optional right now but will be needed later.
Then, fill each glitter layer with your choice of particle in whatever color looks good! Yes, you can do gradients and other stuff on the particles too! World's your oyster.
^ Unclipped example of a glitter layer.
Glitter tips for the early 2000's webcore enthusiast:
Use different strokes and patterns for the glitter distribution! This helps it animate better by moving around. For example this time I went diagonally for the first, horizontally for the second, and then in loose circles for the third. Particle density and stuff is also completely up to you.
Use a color that would pop against the intended area! For Roy I used an orange-ish yellow since it compliments both blue and red.
So now we have the layers! This is where clipping is our best friend once again! You're just going to go in and clip the glitter to whatever layers you want it on. Entire folder, not just one of the layers!
Once that's all done, go through and toggle the respective glitter layer for the frame, saving individual copies when done. You should end up with 3 identical images with different glitter distribution.
"BUT WAIT! JONES, THE TRANSLUCENCY!!" I hear you call! Yes, this is where we handle that! If your character is NOT translucent, you can scroll past this section.
Open up your frames all in one canvas, stacked on top of eachother (no jittering or slight displacement! ON TOP of eachother!)
Our layout should look something like this...Note how the translucent parts are rather hard to see, well if you took your frames and put them in EZgif, they'd be gone entirely! That's because you physically cannot have a partially translucent gif due to technology limitations. So an easy little cleanup thing I did was:
1. SELECT THE CANVAS AROUND THE CHARACTER WITH THE MAGIC WAND TOOL. Do not have any expansion settings on or it probably won't look right in the end.
Make sure you do not miss any gaps! I personally missed the gap between the arm, leg, and lanyard and I had to redo this next step...
2. SELECT -> INVERT SELECTION
3. FILL SELECTION WITH THE DESIRED COLOR. IT MUST BE OPAQUE. I personally picked this cloudy gray color.
You can now save individual frames of your character with the fill so that they don't go bald when you move on to the next step! Again, you should have 3 frames.
FINISHING UP
This is nice and easy. Upload your three frames into EZGIF and wait for it to process. It'll look like this if you're in the right place.
Once things have loaded, make sure to change the settings to the following:
FRAME DELAY: 0 (this is how fast the frames move.)
DON'T STACK FRAMES: ENABLED
You can play around with this but I generally leave everything else alone because you don't need it. Just hit the make a gif button and you're all done!
Aaaand that's it! If you've read this far...Firstly thank you for dealing with my rambliness and horrible explanation skills. Secondly, I hope that this can come in handy for anyone interested! Would love to see if anyone puts this to use. n_n
#tutorial#art tutorial#art tips#art#flashing lights#i dont know what other things to add. ummm#bookmark#<- for myself later so i can find this if i need to#long post
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We're back to this.
Okay, so, Lily's not actually EXACTLY right about this, but unfortunately, I'm worried anything she says will immediately be doubted because she's Lily. I care about people's perception of this, so I'm not going to kinda half-heartedly back her up by filling in the gaps of some of what she's said here. But, this isn't an unreasonable explanation of the issue, let me be clear. Just somewhat incomplete and not articulated the best.
The US is at a trade deficit with Canada. They buy more from us than we do from them.
Most of that is vital resources the US doesn't have enough of. Like water, power and gas.
But the deficit isn't actually as big as Trump has made it sound. Though the US imports a lot of material goods from Canada, they export a lot of services aswell. Most of what Canada gets from the US is stuff like network companies, telecommunications, shit like Uber and Netflix, etc. As someone who works in entertainment, I can tell you, a lot of shit is filmed here. Hollywood productions. The world got to see the campus of the college I went to featured on The Last of Us. Almost every time you see NYC on screen, what you're actually seeing is Vancouver. That's just what the American market has prioritized services. Canada has nothing to do with that (other than do things like provide tax cuts for studios to film here, etc.)
That's not an endorsement of how our respective economies operate and interact, I have my own criticisms of it. That's just a description.
Trump, in this one instance, I wouldn't characterize as an idiot. He knows exactly what he's doing. . . What that is though, benefits no one* (I'll get to it). Not even the American people.
It would benefit the American industry if they had more direct control over the resources Canada has. "But Liquid don't you go on and on with your pro labor stance? Wouldn't that be a good thing? More jobs?"
Benefit American industry by benefitting cooperations, increasing America's economic dominance, which we should all understand by now the laborers would not see a fucking dime of.
It wouldn't create more jobs. Especially as automation continues to march forwards. The American government (both the Republicans and the Democrats, even though one is way more guilty of this than the other) would take the opportunity to squeeze the citizens under its control. For its many faults, the Canadian government has done a lot more in terms of protecting its laborers and the environmental impact of its industry. Not ENOUGH in my opinion, but MORE. Way more. Part of why America needs to buy so many resources from Canada is because of how badly it's absolutely decimated it's own. These aren't resources the US is capable of handling responsibly. That's part of the reason why we don't have any of the megacorps the US does. The job market in Canada isn't what it should be, but it IS more stable because of that. Believe it or not, there are way more economic and social advantages to not endlessly expanding until the world is (literally) on fire than not.

The US doesn't subsidize Canada. If anything, it's the other way around.
That's why he's talking about Annexing us. He wants to rape the world even more than the US already does.
And, fair is fair, Canada is somewhat responsible for this. The country has become complicit in allowing the US to become the global monster it is by not diversifying in our economic partnerships sooner. The US was seen for so many years abd a reliable and safe partner for trade-- so we sent our troops to aid in their wars, we covered their asses regardless of the skullduggery they partook in. I think the only thing Canada ever really did to defy the American government truly in a way that mattered was accepting draft dodgers during the Vietnam War. And even then, part of me is half remembering we did deport some of them. I can't quite remember why, but Canada has no official laws in terms of accepting political refugees-- something apparently some Jan 6th insurrectionist are finding out in real time right now.
Because Lily doesn't give a shit, probably doesn't know, let it not go unsaid that here in Alberta the government has fucked over our own people in order to support American industry in the past. Especially First Nations people. That's a whole other can of worms I can't get into in detail, but trust me, it's fucking happened.
That willingness to suck American dick is EXACTLY why Danelle Smith is currently lying on Fox News that Canadian citizens, even Albertans (Canada's most Ameriboo province) want to be a part of America.
If any of you want a deeper dive into what's actually going on with Canada's response to America's threats, how Trudeau, Poilievre, and Alberta's oil industry factors into that-- let me know. I feel like I'm ready to rip my hair out right now with how little Americans (and frankly a lot of Canadians-- like Lily) give a shit about our politics, so just give me the excuse. I'm begging you.
#lily orchard#lily orchard critical#anti lily orchard#lily peet#lily orchard stuff#lorch posting#youtube#liquid orcard#eldritch lily
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forgiveness is a collective resource ✦ satoru gojo
summary: as you're telling gojo about your most recent fallout, he ends up telling you in return the last question geto posed him before leaving.
tags: jujutsu kaisen, f!reader, platonic! gojo x reader, implied higuruma x reader, fluff, angst, our beloved white haired, blue-eyed sorcerer receives some well deserved comfort.
wc: 900
notes, etc: i wrote this to the sound of i'm only human. it felt like a good fit. i wanted to write this one for so long, but never knew where i'd put it on the story. i'm happy to have found its place.
✦ collection of stories: "jujutsu partners au" → masterlist for fics listed in chronological order of events
I'm no prophet or Messiah ✦ You should go looking somewhere higher ✦ I'm only human, after all ✦ I'm only human, I do what I can ✦ Don't put the blame on me
"So, that's what happened," you concluded, taking another bite from your sandwich.
"Yeesh," was all Gojo mustered up to say, not being the best at comforting people.
You and Gojo were having a snack in the woods that surrounded Jujutsu High's HQ, and you had just told him about Hiromi's departure to Morioka.
"Having people leaving is shit," you noted, "especially when you care deeply about them. Feels like being left alone to fend off for yourself."
At that, he fell weirdly silent, and you wondered if maybe this would be the best moment to inquire about Geto. After a while, you had learned everything about their fallout — the death of Riko, how Geto had a sharp descent into madness, how he murdered an entire village and had been awarded the death penalty for that.
"The last thing Hiromi told me before he left was that he loved me," which was a twisted, painful little kindness, you thought. "What was the last thing Geto told you when he left?"
You noticed Gojo's demeanor changing a little, and his body becoming stiff. You gave him a few moments before he'd resume his talking.
After a sigh, he ensued.
"'Are you Satoru Gojo because you're the strongest, or are you the strongest because you're Satoru Gojo?'" He took a bite from his sweets, and continued to speak with a half-mouthful of sugar. "That was his final question to me before he left."
"What a stupid question."
"Huh?"
"What? You don't know the answer to that?"
He was silent.
You sighed. "You really think that low of yourself? Ugh. The latter, obviously."
The sorcerer was thoroughly surprised and somewhat dumbfounded, so he simply stayed silent in order to hear your observations, something that could be considered the highest form of respect Gojo Satoru was able to display for someone.
You shook your head before proceeding.
"First of all, Geto didn't know what he was talking about, because he wasn't seeing you, only a distorted reflection of his own resentment towards you for supposedly leaving him alone to spiral down madness on his own. Stop blaming yourself. You did what you could, all of you did."
You involuntarily sighed, trying to push the heaviness away from your heart.
"We sorcerers really need to put our God complex aside and learn to forgive ourselves."
Then, you took a pause to sip on your soda, proceeding.
"I blamed myself for years, just to have it all blow up in my face a decade later. Hiromi left a good new life he had built for himself to chase ghosts from the past," and Nanami, arguably the best one of us all, made a terrible decision that rendered him miserable, you thought, "all because of this wicked little thing called guilt. Guilt weighs us down, tethers us to the past and prevents us from moving forward. So here it is: I forgive you. Have my forgiveness."
"Your forgiveness? For what?" Gojo asked, slightly confused.
"For whatever you want to use it for. Use it to forgive yourself, since you couldn't find it in you for your own benefit. Have absolution. Forgiveness is a collective resource, and we can all forgive each other for our shortcomings. We're all human, after all."
For the very first time ever, you saw Gojo's expression softening underneath his blindfold, and you wondered if the one looking back at you right now was the teenager that failed Riko Amanai and Suguru Geto so many years ago.
The real Satoru Gojo, underneath all the silly cockiness.
"And just to finish answering the question Geto posed, that's precisely why you're the strongest because you're Satoru Gojo, and not the other way around. It was from your failure that the strongest could emerge, and your fallibility stems from you and your humanity."
You now knew how those days went, especially Toji's plan of wearing Gojo down to strike, and the way Gojo told you mindlessly about the first time he let his infinity turned on for days on end.
"You tired yourself in Amanai's benefit, and it put you in a vulnerable position, something only Satoru Gojo, and not the abstract concept of 'the strongest', would ever do. That's why that question is fucking stupid and offensive. You're more than the six eyes and infinity, and more than the people you couldn't save. Let it go," you concluded, taking another sip from your soda.
You were both silent for a moment, and you briefly wondered if you hadn't stepped over a boundary.
"Please, get up" he solicited, an indecipherable voice and expression to his blindfold covered face, getting up from the ground himself.
"Oh, okay," you answered, slightly surprised at the unexpected request.
In a second, Gojo leaned down his huge frame and embraced you, remaining still like that for a minute as you hugged him back, having your chin hooked above his shoulder.
At this moment, even if he was a giant in comparison to you, he seemed and felt remarkably small.
"Thank you," he said, his voice but a whisper behind your head.
You smiled, tightening your grip around his back, happy you could finally reach him and keep him true company.
"No problem, pretty boy. You saved my ass so many times. Thought I'd try to return the favor, which you should know is not something easy to do, since you're the strongest," you said with a laugh, "not all kikufuku in the world would pay off that debt."
He huffed a brief chuckle, letting go of you, feeling he might not be so alone anymore.
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fanfic#jjk gojo#satoru gojo#jujutsu gojo#satorugojo#jujutsu satoru#jjk satoru#gojo saturo#gojo x reader#gojo satoru#geto suguru#jujutsu kaisen gojo
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What are your thoughts on how to support Melissa going forward?
The Book of Carol has been an absolute disaster for Carol and Melissa fans, and season 3 filming is already underway. Melissa wants to play Carol and she wants to work with Norman, so I want to support her. But I actively don't want to support everything else about what this show is doing to her.
It feels like most fans who are left vocalising their views are the ones who still feel positive about the spin-off. I really want to know more about the thoughts of those of us who are more critical of it, because I just don't know what the best thing is to do here.
Mental health wise, it's probably easier to withdraw from the future of TWDU entirely - to not watch season 3 and to not be invested in it anymore. But again, Melissa is still there, and she needs allies, and she needs people who genuinely respect her to see her for her work. It makes me so sad to think how hard she works and nobody is watching - all because her colleagues have pushed us away.
I just want to hear from more people who care about Melissa about how we're responding, and how we can support her.
Hello, dear Anon. I'm sorry this is affecting your mental health. You're right that Melissa deserves our support. I answered this question in the latest podcast episode.
The condensed version of what I said is that your voice matters. It's easy to feel discouraged sometimes, especially when you're speaking up about something important to you. But if you have the capacity to speak up, now is the time.
The teaser + David Zabel's latest comments continue to show us that he has no intention of giving Daryl and Carol a compelling story. Worse, his writing for Daryl and (especially) Carol is downright disrespectful to the characters.
When you're sharing feedback online, remember to be very specific about what changes need to happen for you to stick around. Center your posts around Melissa and Carol. Talk about why her character is important to you. Here are some pointers to keep in mind.
Please remember to take care of yourself too.
For us, it's important that the leadership changes. It's also important that Melissa McBride gets equal billing, an inclusive title, and a showrunner who respects her character and doesn't write her to be a piece in the male protagonist's story or, worse, doesn't make her pick up the pieces of the male protagonist's story.
Carol Peletier broke stereotypes and gender norms. She was the central focus of some of the highest-rated episodes of TWD. She can draw in audiences from different demographics. She's consistently proven to be one of the most resourceful female characters of the flagship show and beyond. And all of this is because Melissa McBride is an intuitive actress with a rare talent and ability to effortlessly tap into the depths of Carol's psyche. She's also a PR person's dream because she's an eloquent and charming speaker. She has a spotless reputation and the ability to garner audience loyalty that builds the audience base for the creative projects she is a part of.
She deserves respect on her own fucking show.
A showrunner who elevates her and writes compelling stories for Daryl and Carol is the only way to ensure the show's ROI and audience retention. We have no interest in investing in S3 otherwise.
— Shalaka
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One thing that I haven't seen anyone call out is how after Bakugou is rescued, the series starts constantly introducing new characters that we're expected to care about, ie they take a bunch of time. The big three, Sir Nighteye, Overhaul, Gentle Criminal, La Brava, Eri, Giantmachina, Lady Nagant, The MLA and Licence Exam both came with a bunch, etc. And I like a lot of them, but just so much time gets dedicated to these new characters.
Like did we really need real Camie, especially with how the League got slaughtered and it's treated like oh well it's for the best. Why would the League keep her alive if they are so evil that them dying is a good thing? Keeping her alive is a waste of resources right after they lost their source of cash, and if she escaped Himiko could have very well been caught. Why wouldn't the 'oh so evil' Toga just drain all her blood. But not only is she confirmed to be alive she gets to join Bakugou and Shoto in their make up classes for their licenses.
(I apologize in advance for this relatively short answer having so many footnotes.)
So, while I can see your point, @arceus-insanity, and I think it’s a valid view for certain takes on what the story could have been, for the story I wanted, I have to disagree.
I both like a lot of the new characters and think they deserved time—more than they got already, even. Heck, I wish we’d gotten even more new characters after the first war, rather than the story functionally locking the cast in place save for the Tartarus escapees that the story didn’t give a shit about anyway. The only other new characters were, what, Star and her crew, who do nothing that couldn’t have been written around in a hundred different ways, and a few conspicuously unnamed heteromorph characters to help shepherd that storyline to its limp conclusion? As I said here, I think it’s absurd that events as dire as Gigantomachia’s rampage and Shigaraki’s subsequent escape wouldn’t stir things up in the country so badly that new characters would be coming out of the woodwork!
But then, I’m also one of those people who does sincerely believe that the post-Jakku material needed to be at least as long as the second act.[1] Obviously that wasn’t feasible with Horikoshi’s health being what it was, but I do think my ideal version of the story would have had that kind of length. But then x2, I’m also one of those people who does sincerely believe that BNHA suffered tremendously when it became, at the dictates of its frankly absurd popularity poll results, The Stoplight Trio Show.
1: To me, the second act runs from the chapter after Deku and All Might meet again on the beach, with Deku reflecting about the end of the era of All Might, to the chapter that ends with Deku having left UA—so, Chapter 96 to Chapter 306, for a total of 211 chapters. Compare that number to the first arc’s 95 chapters and the final arc’s 117—or 124 if you include the full epilogue—and it’s easy to see where the greater bulk of the story lies.
I think BNHA really did cry out to be a true ensemble piece, rather than a story about, like, 3.5 kids and the intermittent adventures of some of their friends. A more expansive story in both its cast and its pacing would have served it much better, I feel, especially one that really forced the kids to step out into the world more independently, rather than retreating to the safety of the dictates of their mentors. Instead, we got a story that just kept getting bigger all the way to the climax despite the fact that the stuff to fill that story—both the cast to meaningfully contribute and the interesting worldbuilding ideas—stopped being able to keep pace with the story’s scope long, long before the end.
So yeah, Horikoshi certainly wound up with far more characters than he could handle, but for myself, I’d rather have had the story that was big enough to give all those characters ample room, rather than the story that was only big enough to accommodate the ones Horikoshi could coherently build a plot around. And if we couldn’t have either, well, I’m just as happy with the big cast. Most of my favorites are from those side character numbers, anyway.
As to Camie and Toga, while I think you’re right that Camie’s survival is a clear indicator that Toga was never as evil as a lot of the Heroes thought,[2] I don’t think I can bring myself to agree that the story treats the League’s deaths as a good thing because they’re just so evil. Rather, the story just has a much harsher view on criminal responsibility than I think a lot of Villain fans—myself certainly included—wanted or were expecting from the ending.
2: Sure, maybe the talking point is just that Toga kept her alive for a back-up blood supply, but given that it seems like Toga had no interest in an extended infiltration scenario, but rather just wanted was to crash the Provisional License Exam and leave immediately afterwards, it hardly seems like she’d need much back-up!
Camie’s a good example: Toga isn’t so evil that she would kill an innocent high school girl on a whim.[3] She would hurt an innocent high school girl on a whim, so she still has to be Punished (because this damn manga is so welded to the idea of not forgiving characters who did things wrong[4]), but because she wouldn’t kill for it, she doesn’t get an ending where the readers are cheering for her to get dropped out of orbit by Ochaco the Implacable or some shit.
3: The whim being wanting to meet Deku and Ochaco again. 4: Unless they were Heroes, of course. Authorial forgiveness for Heroes is limitless.
That is to say, the story doesn’t think it’s good that Toga dies, though it may think it’s “for the best” for the same reason a lot of people who were satisfied with her death identified: she’s too tragic and sympathetic a character for the reader to want her to be executed by the state or grow old and die behind bars, but she’s committed too many crimes for there to be other believable options.[5] I sincerely think that, for Horikoshi, the League gets the deaths they do because they’re not so evil that they deserve any of the story's alternatives.
5: For myself, I think if readers couldn’t believe in other options, that’s just a failure of the imagination, but it’s more on the story than the readers—it was Horikoshi’s responsibility as the author to set the boundaries of reader expectations.
But then you could also run that cause and effect backwards, too: because Horikoshi wanted to keep the League sympathetic, he would never let them go too far. If Horikoshi wanted gentler outcomes for his fully tragic characters but was terrified his readers would think he’s Soft On Crime, he couldn't risk alienating people by letting the League go so far that readers would get angry at his Heroes for wanting to save them.
The story just doesn’t have the courage of its convictions if those convictions run the risk of displeasing the readers. That’s why Toga dies anyway despite not being so evil that she’d kill Camie, and it’s also why we focus on the same handful of popular characters despite Horikoshi (judging by his obvious enjoyment of introducing distinctly designed new characters by the truckload!) clearly wanting to tell a sweeping ensemble story.
Though I had my quibbles, thanks for the ask!
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Do you think if Edward (2022) had at least one friend in his life he would’ve turned out better
I talk about mental health, self-admitting into mental health facilities, and general heavy financial-struggles-relating-to-mental-health-struggles things ahead so if those topics are upsetting, I'd avoid!!!
I know I say this a lot but this is a Tough question. I'm leaning towards no, he needed more than a sympathetic ear and supportive friend to fix the issues he was struggling with. He needed RESOURCES. Ofc we must be hesitant when diagnosing fictional characters with Specific disorders that we aren't 100% sure they have, but it's safe to say he struggles with mental health severely and needed Frequent psychiatric care in the state we see him in the Movie. BARE MINIMUM I think if all that was different was Edward had the ability to self-admit into a GOOD AND ETHICAL mental health facility when he was having his especially severe episodes without repercussions for missing work, he would've been better off. These things are about piles, and how many things get added onto the piles. Don't have time to see a psychiatrist, and even if he did, too expensive. Even if he could see the psychiatrist, medication is also expensive, and it's WORSE to start medication, actually start to feel better, and then have to "skip" doses when you're low on money because then you're just causing your body more chemical turmoil. He would NEVER self-admit in Gotham. I don't even think if he left Gotham, he would immediately feel safe self-admitting into ANY medical facility. I don't think he sees Doctors. This is someone who isn't just sad and needs a buddy, he needs a LOT of assistance.
Would Edward have needed these resources forever? I don't think so, I think much of what he was struggling with could have and still can be processed in a healthy manner that leads to him living a less distressing life. For the sake of the question, I'm imagining we're talking about like, Issue One of Riddler: Year One to give him the best chance in his adult life, and I just don't know if a friend or even group of friends would have been able to help him unless they also provided financial assistance, which I'm just not entirely sure he'd take because he'd see it as like - some Cosmically Insulting Levels of Pity that his friends, who would likely be poorer Gothamites as well, would feel the need to fund his medical care.
#rant#rambling#I know this is a little heavy but I do believe it#it's not shameful to need more than a friend in your life#needing mental health assistance and medication is just how some people NEED to function#AND I'M NOT UPSET OR ANYTHING ANON GHSJG I JUST LIKE THIS TOPIC#I love love love wondering about what different circumstances would've meant for Edward
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