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𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐝’𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭.
a case involving female students being murdered in their dormitories brings the team to stanford university. You have more of a connection to it than you originally realise.
cold!reader ❅ 8.4k ❅ cold!reader masterlist. ❅ main masterlist.
CW | typical criminal minds violence, violence against women, detail of murder and injury, abuse of power, student-professor relationships, miscarriage and abortion, character death, manipulation, cynicism
“Three women, all doctorate students of Stanford University, have all been killed inside their dorm rooms in the last two weeks,” There’s a click of a button, and then three images flash up on the screen, headshots of the girls. “All three were found with their stomachs cut open and their reproductive organs removed,”
What a lovely way to start a Monday morning.
“So much for the best University in California,” Morgan nudges your arm with his elbow, and your roll your eyes.
“What was the medical knowledge of the unsub?”
“You tell me,” JJ clicks another button on her remote, and the smiling photos of the victims are replaced with their crime scene photos.
Hands and feet tied to their beds, a large incision at the pelvic bone that had been stretched open to leave the internal organs bare, and the uterus cut out of the body. The surface knowledge was there, but the execution was not. Messy lines and uneven incisions that left the gap left in the victims more blood and tissue than actual hole.
“So we’re not looking for a professional then,” Morgan points out the obvious with a cross of his arms, leaning back in his chair.
“They clearly know something about it though,” Spencer leans forward as Morgan leans back, squinting his eyes like it’s going to make the images clearer. “There’s several different ways to perform a hysterectomy, but for a complete hysterectomy like our unsub is doing, the most common method is to start with an incision just above the pelvic bone,”
We’ll discuss the details of hysterectomies whilst we’re on the plane,” Hotch taps both of his hands on the table as he stands. “Gather your things, wheels up in thirty,”
There’s a chorus of “Yes Sir,”s as you all follow him out of the conference room to return to your respective desks and gather your belongings for the flight, an air of fatigue still surrounding the group even through the graphic imagery you were presented with.
“Going back to your alma mater, how do you feel?” Morgan clasps his right hand into a fist and holds it out to you like an invisible microphone.
You push it away without much thought as you pack your laptop into your bag, rolling your eyes at him for what feels like the tenth time since you’d walked through the door an hour ago. “It’s been almost— no, it has been ten years since I graduated, what’s there to ‘feel’?”
“Okay robot face, damn, no lingering love for the College that gave you your career?” Morgan’s taunt is laced with that familiar air of light-heartedness that’s there to remind you that he really is just poking fun, but you’ve never been very receptive to his humour.
“No.”
He lets out a sharp laugh in a mix of amusement and surprise, opening his mouth to make another comment, but the expression on your face tells him you’re definitely done talking about the topic.
He does have some self restraint.
—
Stepping out of the San Jose International Airport almost felt like going into a time machine, spitting you right back out where you’d left that decade ago just 18 miles from your old campus.
It felt even more surreal actually reaching Stanford’s main site, walking around the place you’d dedicated four years of your life to. Not much had changed since you’d left, not that you really expected it to, but it felt almost foreign to you to walk around the campus as you were now, a properly matured adult compared to the almost naive teenager you started as.
You began where you always did, at the most recent crime scene, a college dorm room on the south-east side of the campus.
It was pretty standard, a bedroom big enough for a double bed and a desk, a built in wardrobe, and a private bathroom; Decorated how you would expect from a girl in her early twenties, covered in memories and interests that gave it a personality outside of the off-white paint on the walls.
Of course, it was mildly ruined by the fact the previously pink bedsheets were stained in a pool of oxidised blood that dripped down onto the rug adorned floor and ledger small spatters on the skirting boards, but what can you really expect when the girl had been cut open whilst she was still alive and most definitely struggling against it.
“There’s no signs of forced entry,” All Morgan could do was shrug as he examined the fire door that acted as the room’s only entrance. “The inside lock was unfastened and there’s no marks indicating it was forced open, or that it even could be without heavy grade tools,”
“So our unsub had his own key then?”
“Or,” Emily’s suggestion was side-stepped by Spencer, “He was let in,”
There’s a small hum from Hotch as he stands beside you, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed. “Alright,” He turns his eyes onto you with a small nod, “Take Prentiss to the Mortuary and check the autopsy. Morgan, Reid, get Garcia to find a list of professors the victims shared and go and speak with them, they might’ve noticed a change in the girls’ behaviours before their deaths.”
“Will do,”
“Got it,”
There’s a series of shared nods between you as you spilt up, leaving Hotch, Rossi and JJ at the crime scene in search of any more information they could utilise.
—
Trying to catch a Professor when they’re not busy is harder than most people would think. So hard in fact that Spencer and Morgan had been left with standing inside one of the lecture rooms to endure the last twenty minutes of a forensic psychology lesson so they could get the professor between classes.
“Professor Callahan?”
“For any personal feedback on your essay please send me an email,” The professor doesn’t so much as look up from the papers he collects and organises on his desk, seemingly already in a rush even after barely two minutes of the lecture ending.
Morgan and Spencer share a glance.
“My name’s Dr Spencer Reid, and this is Agent Morgan, we’re from the FBI,”
Callahan looks up this time, rectangle glasses reflecting the two back to each other through the overhead lighting.
“We were hoping we could ask you a few questions, Sir,”
Spencer watches the Professor’s eyebrows knit in confusion before his eyes spark with a hint of realisation, and then understanding.
“Yes, of course,” He nods, collecting the pile of papers in his right arm. “Please, follow me into my office,”
His office is filled with bookshelves stacked with psychology texts and framed accolades lining the walls. Small busts of philosophers in the mpty spaces. His desk is littered with small rememberences of his former students, and lining the opposite wall is another, a small plaque reading Dr. Wittchen at it’s forefront.
“Did you notice any changes in the girls’ behaviour, or anything unusual leading up to their deaths?” Spencer’s question is cautious, if not a little bit emotionally insensitive.
Callahan’s expression shifts to one of concern. “Honestly, I hadn’t noticed anything alarming. They were all such high achievers, incredibly driven. The stress of their programs sometimes affected them, but nothing out of the ordinary.”
Spencer nods, then glances toward the accompanying desk. “What about Professor Wittchen? Does he interact with the students much?”
Callahan hesitates, his brow furrowing slightly. “Robert is highly respected, very dedicated to his work. He can be a little tough on their grades, but more often than not he’s sat in here doing one-on-one tutoring in his spare time,”
Spencer hums softly at Callahan’s assessment. “Do you know if he turoed any of the girls? He might have a better insight into any changes in their mannerisms,”
“I’m not sure I’m afraid,” Callahan shakes his head, “I leave him to his teachings most of the ime, but I can let him know you’ve asked,”
As they speak, Morgan’s gaze drifts to a nearby display shelf adorned with photographs of past students on the far wall, each one framed and labeled with a name and a date.
Etched into the wood of the shelf itself an engraving reading, “Shelf of Stars.” stood front and centre, and as Morgan’s eyes wandered the pictures, a certain label caught his attention.
Front and centre, there you sat, “2006 PhD” followed by your name, a picture of you and your Professors in what’s presuambly your first year.
“No way,” Morgan breathes out a laugh. “Reid come look at this,”
“What? What’s wrong?” Spencer and Callahan’s expressions mirror each other as they glance over at Morgan in concern, only for him to quash any need for worry as he holds up the frame in their direction.
“Look how different she looks! What happened, did she get hit by a truck when she turned 20 or what?”
There’s a flicker of recognition in Spencer’s eyes, one that almost turns to fondness as he takes in the bright smile printed behind the glass. He’s not sure he’s ever seen you smile like that since you’ve been with the team.
“You know her?” Callahan raises an eyebrow.
“Yeah, yeah, she’s on our team,” Morgan nods with a chuckle as he places the picture back where he found it, pulling out his phone to snap a photo, probably to make fun of you later.
“Really?” Professor Callahan looks more than a little surprised at the revelation. “I knew she was destined for great things, but the FBI, wow,” He breathes out a short sigh, nodding. “Robert’ll have a field day when he finds out she chose forensics over clinical,”
Spencer gives what’s almost a laugh, clearing his throat. “Well, Professor, thank you for speaking with us, we’ll contact you if we find any more information,”
“No problem at all, my door is always open,” Callahan follows Spencer and Morgan over to the office door, holding it open for them as they leave.
“Oh, Agents?” He stops them before they get too far. “If you have any time in or after your investigation, ask her to pay us a visit? It’d be nice to catch up,”
“We’ll let her know,”
—
“From what I can tell, the removal of the uterus was done antemortem, and the victims cause of death was the blood loss that resulted from it,” The Coroner lifts the muscle torn by the initial incision to give you and Emily a proper look at the damage.
“The nature of the incisions tells that they were most likely done with proper surgical instruments, a scalpel most likely, but their nature is unpracticed, see here for example,”
She points towards the left side of the victims pelvis, where the muscle had been separated from the uteral lining. “In a professional hysterectomy, this tissue here would also be removed, but in this case it’s been left attached to the surrounding tissues, and the same can be said for the others,”
“So our unsub knows the basics, is that something that would require medical training?” Emily furrows her eyebrows at the sight, and you’re much the same.
The sight is almost enough to make you feel nauseous, but you don’t need sickly thoughts clouding your judgement right now.
“Possibly, although with how the internet is, it’s possible they read an article or watched a documentary on how the procedure is done,” The coroner sways her head side to side, “I’d say that whoever did this has had some training, but not necessarily in the field,”
Emily hums, turning her gaze from the victim towards you. “Medical student maybe?”
You hum absently, eyes trained on the gaping hole left in the girl’s stomach. “Maybe, probably won’t still be a student though,”
It affects you more than it should, you think, a malingering nagging in the back of your head that won’t leave you alone but also won’t tell you why it’s there in the first place.
You sigh, “We should look at biologists too, clinical fields,”
Emily gives you an agreeing nod. “I’ll call Garcia,” She pats your shoulder deftly as she leaves the room.
“Was there anything else strange about the body?” You tear your eyes away from the girl to look up at the coroner, who only gives you a small shake of her head.
“Not that I can see,” Her gaze, though objective, flickers with small amounts of uncertainty. “It’s so upsetting, things like this, what spurs someone to do something so… primally horrific?”
“A rejection probably, a denial of a sexual relationship or children that’s projected onto other women because he can’t get to the person he really wants to hurt,” You shrug out an exhale. “More common than you’d think,”
She frowns. “it’s awful,”
“Yeah,” You purse your lips together. “But it is what it is,”
—
“Did the three girls have any clear connections?”
Garcia taps away on her keyboard, and the jingling of her earrings over the reciever suggests that she’s shaking her head. “Apart from being Stanford students, not really. Julie was doing an MsC in Pediatric Therapy, Ophelia doing an MA in History of Medicine, and Marie doing a PhD in Psychology.” She sighs. “None of them had any classes together, no mutual friends, I don’t even think they knew the others existed,”
“There has to be some overlap,” Morgan groans exasperatedly, glancing over at the mostly bare profile board that him and Spencer were trying to put together. They’d spoken to most of the girls’ professors by now, and apart from offhanded comments about stress and pressure, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
It was frustrating, really frustrating, and for all they knew, the team was on a time limit before another girl suffered the same fate. They needed a break in the case, sooner rather than later.
“What about the students Emily asked you to look into? Spencer bends almost awkardly towards Morgan’s phone, trying to raise his voice into the speaker whilst still writing against the whiteboard.
“Nada, I’m afraid, no one who had connections to all three girls, past or present, I’ve hit a wall,”
“No kidding,” Morgan exhales heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose with the hand not holding his phone. “Thanks anyway, sweetness,”
“Of course my love, I’ll hit you back if I find anything, Penny G out,” —
“So we’ve got three dead girls, no connections, and no signature to help us track down this guy, lovely,” Emily sips on her coffee, leaning back into her chair with a sigh.
“Isn’t this like every other case we’ve ever had?” You raise an eyebrow is disinterest, stretching you arms above your head and almost hitting Morgan in the face as he and Spencer reenter the room from their lunch break.
The Psychology department had been kind enough to loan you one of their staff rooms during your investigation, and comments had already been made about Hotch’s demeanour as he walked around you like he was keeping an eye on a group of toddlers.
“There’s something we’re missing here,” Rossi pours over the whiteboard with a disgruntled sigh, his palm dragging down the side of his face. “There’s always something,”
Reid nods, tapping his pen against his notebook as he takes a seat. “Even perfectionists leave traces. It’s just a matter of understanding their logic—how they justify their actions.”
“Change of subject quickly,” Morgan holds up a hand as he walks around the table, his other hand landing on your shoulder. “Talking of leaving traces, who was going to tell us that you actually knew how to smile?”
You shrug his hand off of you with a furrow of your eyebrows. “What?”
“I’m talking little nineteen year old you beaming like you were trying to compete with the sun,” He digs his phone from his pocket, holding the screen out to face the group. “I mean look at this, look at you, its weird,”
You snatch the phone from him as soon as you recognise the picture. “Why do you have that picture?”
“We took a trip to see one of your old Professors,” Morgan wrestles the device back out of your hands before you have a chance to what he assumes will be deleting the evidence of your past sunniness. “He asked to see you at some point by the way, wants to ‘catch up’,”
“Delete that photo, Morgan.” You cross one leg over the other with a huff.
“No way, Ice Queen, I’m gonna make fun of you with this forever,”
“I hate you,”
”I love you too,” He blows an air kiss in your direction.
The shrill ring of the door opening cuts through the room, snapping everyone to attention. A mildly out of breath PD officer leaning against the doorframe.
“There’s been another one,” she says, her voice tight.
The room erupts into motion.
—
When you arrive, the scene is eerily similar to the others. The victim, a young woman in her early twenties, lies in the middle of her dorm room, fully clothed and carefully positioned. Her face is serene, as though she’s simply sleeping. The blood pooling out of her lower abdomen tells you that she’s not.
“Victim’s name is Natalie Yu. Twenty-one, Psychology major. She fits the profile—academic, driven, top of her class.” JJ fills you in easily.
You step closer, your heart sinking as you take in the meticulous staging. The unsub’s reverence for his victims is apparent in every detail. No signs of a struggle. No personal belongings out of place.
Reid crouches near the body, his eyes narrowing. “Same as the others. No physical trauma that would suggest a cause of death other than bloodloss. Removal of reproductive organs.”
Morgan stands by the door, his jaw clenched. “This guy’s escalating. Three murders in three weeks, and now this. He’s not slowing down.”
Something catches Prentiss’s eye. She kneels beside the victim and carefully lifts the edge of her blouse. Tucked neatly into the waistband of her jeans is a folded piece of paper.
“What’s this?” she murmurs, pulling on gloves before unfolding the note. The room goes still as she reads aloud:
“It was meant to be you.”
You lean over Emily’s shoulder to get a glance at the writing yourself. And then you immediately regret doing so. The handwriting is unmistakable—sharp, angular strokes that you’d recognise anywhere.
But you can’t say that. Not yet.
“‘It was meant to be you’?” Rossi repeats, stepping closer. “What the hell does that mean?”
Reid frowns. “It’s personal. Direct. He’s targeting someone specific now.”
“It could be a taunt,” JJ offers. “A way to throw us off or instill fear in the team.”
Morgan shakes his head, his expression grim. “No. This is different. This isn’t just about control anymore—this is about sending a message,”
“It’s personal,” Reid says again, his gaze sweeping the room. For a brief moment, his eyes land on you, and you feel like he can see right through you.
“Excuse me,” you manage, your voice steady despite the panic clawing at your chest.
You step outside, the crisp air hitting you like a jolt. Your hands shake as you pull out your phone, staring at the screen without really seeing it. The note wasn’t just a taunt—it was a reminder. He knew you were here. He’d known the moment you stepped onto campus.
It was meant to be you.
The words echo in your mind, a sinister promise that leaves no room for doubt.
—
“This is different from the previous victims,” Spencer says, “The note changes everything. If we assume the unsub has been fixated on someone specific all along, the other victims could have been surrogates—stand-ins for the real target.”
Prentiss looks at him sharply. “You think the unsub is escalating because the real target is now within reach?”
He nods. “Exactly. The murders were practice, perfecting the method. But now that the target is accessible, he’s shifting focus.”
“Great,” Morgan mutters. “Wonderful.”
JJ gestures to the note. “We need to figure out who he’s targeting—and fast.”
You stand by the door, your stomach twisting. You can’t let them figure it out, not like this.
“I’ll follow up on the note,” you say, forcing a calm you don’t feel. “Maybe there’s something about the phrasing or handwriting we can use to narrow down suspects.”
Morgan eyes you, his brow furrowed. “You sure you’re good? You’ve been quiet since we got here.”
You nod quickly, brushing off his concern. “I’m fine.”
He doesn’t look convinced, but he lets it go.
—
You barricade yourself in the staff room, spreading out the case files across the table. You stare at the note, the handwriting glaring up at you like a brand.
“It was meant to be you.”
You were just a kid, desperate to prove yourself. He saw that. He used it.
You grip the edge of the table, your knuckles white. You can’t let him win. Not again.
A knock at the door pulls you out of your thoughts. It’s Spencer, holding a cup of coffee.
“Thought you could use this,” he says, setting it down in front of you.
“Thank you.” You manage a display of gratitude, but his gaze lingers, sharp and questioning.
“You’ve been off since we got here,” he says softly. “Is there something you’re not telling us?”
Your heart skips a beat. Reid is too perceptive for his own good, and you know he won’t let this go.
“I’m fine,” you lie. “Just tired.”
He doesn’t look convinced, but he nods, stepping back. “If you need to talk, I’m here.”
As he leaves, you let out a shaky breath. The walls are closing in, and you don’t know how much longer you can keep this to yourself. Not if you don’t want anyone else to die because of it.
—
Spencer stands near the board, absentmindedly tapping his pen against his palm. Morgan is leaning against a table, arms crossed, while Prentiss and JJ exchange quiet remarks by the coffee pot. Rossi, as always, is seated with his chair tipped back, his eyes fixed on the board.
But it’s Hotch who breaks the silence. “This unsub’s timeline is escalating, and the note makes it clear they’re getting bolder. If we don’t figure out their connection to Stanford soon, someone else is going to die.”
Morgan sighs. “We’ve gone through the victim profiles a dozen times. There’s no overlap other than the school. No shared clubs, professors, dorms, nothing. It’s like this guy’s picking them at random.”
“Not random,” Spencer interjects, his voice sharp. “The victims are stand-ins for someone else. I’m sure of it. The note confirmed it—‘It was meant to be you.’ The unsub isn’t just killing; they’re trying to send a message to someone.”
Rossi tilts his head. “None of them bear any significant physical relation to each other,”
Reid nods. “It doesn’t have to be physical. It’s an ideal, there’s something specific that ties all of the victims together, something linked to whoever the unsub is actually after,”
JJ frowns. “But who is it? If it’s not one of the victims, how do we figure out who the unsub is fixated on?”
You tense in your chair, your hands curling into fists under the table. You can feel their eyes shifting to you, their collective attention like a spotlight burning against your skin.
Morgan raises an eyebrow. “You did go here. Maybe there’s something you’d recognise—something we’ve missed.”
You meet their gazes with forced calm, willing your voice to remain steady. “Just because I went to Stanford doesn’t mean this case has anything to do with me.”
Prentiss leans forward slightly, her tone gentle but insistent. “No one’s saying it does, but if there’s even a chance—”
“There’s not.” you cut her off, sharper than you intended. The words hang in the air, and you immediately regret your tone. It doesn’t change anything though. “We’re here because of the victims, not because I graduated from here a decade ago.”
The room falls quiet, and the tension thickens. Hotch watches you carefully, his unreadable gaze a weight you can’t escape.
“I need some air,” you say abruptly, standing before anyone can argue. “I’ll be back in a few.”
You leave the room before anyone can stop you, the sound of your boots echoing down the sterile hall.
—
Stanford’s campus feels both foreign and familiar as you wander its paths. The sprawling quads and ivy-covered buildings haven’t changed much in the years since you left, but the memories they stir feel sharp and raw.
You stop at a bench near the Psychology department, the cool breeze doing little to calm the storm inside you. Your arms wrap around yourself as if trying to hold yourself together.
“You’re not fine.”
The voice startles you, but you don’t turn around. You’d recognise that soft, observant tone anywhere. Spencer.
He sits beside you, leaving a respectful distance between you, his lanky frame folding awkwardly on the bench. “You’ve been different since we got here,” he says after a moment. “Quiet. Hesitant. That’s not like you,”
You don’t respond, staring out at the students passing by, their laughter and chatter a stark contrast to the weight in your chest.
“I know it’s not just the case,” he continues, his voice gentle but unyielding. “There’s something else. Something you’re not telling us.”
Your jaw tightens. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do,”
His certainty grates on your already frayed nerves, and you finally turn to him, your eyes flashing. “What are you trying to say, Reid? Spit it out.”
He hesitates, his brow furrowing as he chooses his words carefully. “I think you know who the unsub is. Or at least… you suspect,”
You laugh, the sound bitter and sharp. “That’s a hell of an accusation.”
“I’m not accusing you of anything,” he says quickly. “I’m worried about you. You’re not acting like yourself, and the way you reacted to that note…” He trails off, shaking his head. “It was different. You looked like you’d seen a ghost,”
“Maybe I’m just tired,” you snap, the defensive edge in your voice sharper than you intend.
He doesn’t flinch, his gaze steady and unwavering. “It’s more than that. I can see it. You’re scared,”
The word hits you like a slap, and for a moment, you can’t breathe. He’s right, of course. You are scared. Terrified, even. But admitting that feels like surrendering, like letting him win.
“Stop it,” you say, your voice low and dangerous. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Spencer leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he studies you. “I think I do. I think this unsub has a connection to you. And I think that’s why you’ve been avoiding us—because you don’t want us to figure it out.”
Your hands curl into fists at your sides, and you glare at him, your composure threatening to crack. “You don’t know what he did to me.”
The words slip out before you can stop them, and the moment they do, you see the understanding dawn in his eyes. “Who?” Spencer presses gently. “Who are we talking about?”
Your chest heaves as you fight back the tears threatening to spill. “One of my Professors.”
“Did he…” Spencer hesitates in pressing the subject, a mix of his usual timidness when it comes to you and the fear that he’s broaching on a very concerning topic.
“It was consensual.”
Spencer watches you closely, his eyes searching your face for a sign, some clue, as if trying to understand the puzzle that is your inner workings.
He doesn’t push, but the silence between you both is suffocating. His voice is almost a whisper when he speaks again, but it still cuts through the heavy air between you.
"You were just a kid," Spencer murmurs, his words soft but no less sharp. "He took advantage of you when you were vulnerable, when you were still figuring things out. That’s manipulation."
You flinch at the truth of it, at the way he so easily sees the pieces of your life you've tried so hard to bury. You didn’t want to think about him anymore, didn’t want to remember how he twisted every gesture, every word, until it was all about him, all about what he wanted.
You can still feel the weight of his hands, the way he made you feel like you didn’t have a choice, that this was all part of the price you had to pay to succeed, to be seen as worthy of your place in academia.
Spencer shifts slightly, his eyes never leaving yours. “He used his power over you. You were just a kid, and he was a professor. Someone you trusted.” His words are steady, but they cut deep. "You were in a position where you thought you had to do what he wanted. But it wasn’t your fault,”
“It was consensual.” you say again, more firmly this time, though it feels like you’re trying to convince yourself rather than him, the words raw and drenched in a cold calmness you didn’t really feel.
“Was it?” Spencer asks gently, his voice low. “If you were 19 and you thought you had to do it to get ahead, was it really? Was it truly your choice?”
You feel the air leave your lungs, and you want to scream at him, to deny everything, to make him stop asking these questions, because the answers are too painful, too complicated.
But he’s right. You were a child—so young, so desperate to succeed, to make a name for yourself in a field dominated by people like him. You thought you were lucky when he took you under his wing, when he offered you guidance, extra attention, time. But you weren’t.
“I had an abortion,” you finally confess, the words coming out in a broken whisper.
Spencer’s eyes widen, and for a moment, he’s silent, processing your admission. His lips part as though he wants to say something, but nothing comes. He doesn’t push, though, just watches you, his expression a mix of sympathy and concern, but there's no judgment in it. Not like you expected.
“In my shitty college dorm room,” Your voice catches, and you blink rapidly, trying to stop the sting in your eyes. “I thought I was dying. The amount of blood—” You let out a shaky breath, your hands trembling in your lap. “I didn't know how to make it stop.Sometimes I wish it didn’t.”
“Don’t say that.”
Spencer leans in a little, his gaze intense, but gentle. “You were just a kid,” he says softly, his words like a balm, soothing yet cutting through the guilt. “He took advantage of you. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t deserve that.”
You want to believe him. You want so badly to hear those words and let them erase the shame that has clung to you for so long. But the voices of doubt are louder in your head. The fear that somehow, deep down, it was your fault. That maybe you could’ve said no, maybe you could’ve gotten away before it went too far.
“I didn’t tell anyone,” you say, your voice low, almost ashamed of the vulnerability. “I couldn’t tell my parents or my friends… or anyone. It was like everything I worked for, everything I had, was tied to him. If I said something, everything would’ve been ruined.”
Spencer’s brows furrow, and he lets out a soft exhale. “No one should ever have to carry that weight alone, especially not at your age.” His voice is steady, but there’s something deeply empathetic in his tone. “It’s not a burden you should’ve had to bear by yourself.”
“I lied to him too,” you whisper, the confession hanging heavily in the air. “I told him I miscarried. He was devastated. He wasn’t even angry—just sad. But I didn’t. I didn’t feel anything.”
“You…” Spencer starts, hesitating to make sure he words his response correctly. “Being in a state of shock is normal after a traumatic event,”
You shake your head. “I know what shock feels like. I was just numb. I murdered my own child and I didn’t even feel guilty about it.”
Spencer’s jaw tightens slightly, a flicker of anger flashing in his eyes, but it’s not directed at you. It’s directed at him, at the man who should’ve protected you, not preyed on you. His voice is tight, but he keeps it calm.
“You did what you had to do. That’s not your fault.”
“It was alive. Seventeen weeks. I flushed it down the fucking toilet,” You drag your palm down your face, leaning forward until your elbows are resting on your knees.
“I didn’t even want to graduate after that,” you admit, your voice raw. “I couldn’t face him. I just wanted to disappear, but I was not going to put myself through hell without getting something out of it.”
Spencer is quiet for a long moment, taking in everything you’ve said. His gaze never wavers from yours, like he’s trying to understand every piece of you, trying to reach that place where you’re still hiding, still locked away from the rest of the world.
“You don’t owe anyone an explanation for what happened. You did what you needed to survive. And you are surviving. But you don’t have to do it alone.”
You close your eyes, letting the weight of his words settle over you. The storm inside you hasn’t calmed, but for the first time in a long while, it feels like it’s not threatening to swallow you whole. The walls you’ve built around yourself feel just a little more porous, itching to crumble.
“I’m scared,” you say, the vulnerability you’ve been holding back creeping into your voice. “He’s murdering people because of me.”
Spencer doesn’t hesitate. He sits up straighter, his expression serious. “We’ll figure this out. We’ll help you, and we’ll make sure that he doesn’t hurt anyone else.”
“You can’t tell anyone what I just told you.”
He lets out a sigh of your name.
“Promise me, Spencer.”
“Okay,” He nods solemnly. “I promise.”
—
The moment you walk through the doors of the empty lecture hall, you feel it—that same nauseating mix of dread and anticipation curling in your stomach. The air is stale, thick with the weight of memories you spent years trying to forget.
He’s already there, standing at the podium like he belongs there, like nothing has changed. Like he hasn’t left a trail of bodies behind him.
“Ah,” Professor Wittchen exhales as if relieved. “There you are,”
Your fingers twitch at your sides. “I should’ve known you’d pick this place.”
His lips curve into a small smile, a smile that used to make you feel seen. Now, it makes your skin crawl. “It’s fitting, don’t you think? This is where it all began,”
He watches you with the same unwavering gaze he always had, the one that used to make you feel special—chosen. Now, it just feels predatory.
“I missed you,” he says simply, stepping closer.
You don’t move.
“You should’ve visited,” he continues, his voice warm, inviting, like this is a casual conversation and not a confrontation between a killer and his last loose end. “You were my brightest student,”
“I was your victim.” you correct, voice sharp.
His expression doesn’t falter. If anything, he looks pleased. “Victim?” he echoes, like he’s rolling the word around in his mouth, testing its weight. “That’s not how I remember it.”
You swallow hard, jaw clenched. You knew this was how he would react. Knew he would twist things, make them blurry, like he always had.
He tilts his head, studying you. “I heard you became a profiler. That’s impressive. Though I always thought you were more inclined to be a Psychiatrist.”
“You shouldn't be surprised,” you say flatly. “I learned from the best manipulators.”
A flicker of amusement crosses his face. “Now, that’s not fair,”
Your nails dig into your palms. “I know it’s you,” you say, cutting through the act. “You murdered four innocent women because you couldn’t move on.”
He exhales, almost disappointed. “That’s not quite right.”
You don’t let him continue. “Why are you doing this? Why now?”
His gaze darkens, and for the first time since you stepped into this room, the warmth fades from his expression. “It’s been ten years since you left me,” he says simply. “You never even had the decency to say goodbye. I tried to find a substitute, but they weren’t like you. No body is. You’re special.”
A shiver runs down your spine, but you force yourself to hold his stare. “I didn’t owe you anything.”
Wittchen exhales through his nose, shaking his head like you’ve disappointed him. “That’s not true. I shaped you. I made you.”
A bitter laugh escapes you. “You ruined my life.”
His eyes flicker with something unreadable, and then—slowly—he steps down from the podium, closing the distance between you. “You don’t believe that.”
Your breath catches, but you don’t move.
He stops inches from you, his voice dropping to a murmur. “I see it in your eyes. You still need me.”
You know what he’s doing. You know how his mind works, how he bends reality to his will, how he rewrites history to suit his narrative.
And for the first time, you don’t fall for it.
“You’re pathetic,” you whisper. “You think killing people will make me what? Love you? Miss you?” You shake your head. “You mean nothing to me.”
Something in his expression shifts. It’s subtle, but you catch it. The crack in his mask. The first glimpse of the monster beneath.
His fingers twitch at his sides.
There it is. The control slipping.
Good.
You see the flash of something dark behind his eyes—anger, frustration, maybe even desperation. He knows he’s losing control, and for a man like him, that’s unbearable.
You take a step forward. Not away, but closer.
“I hate you.” you say, your voice sharp, cutting through the heavy silence of the room.
Wittchen’s lips barely twitch, but you see the flicker of amusement in his eyes, like he thinks you’re still playing a game with him. Like this is another debate, another test of wills.
“No, you don’t,” he murmurs. “Not really.”
Your hands curl into fists at your sides. “Don’t tell me how I feel.”
He sighs, tilting his head like you’re disappointing him. “I did anything you didn’t ask for,” he says, like it’s a fact. “You wanted me.”
Rage burns through you, hot and all-consuming. “I was nineteen,” you spit. You knew exactly what you were doing. You took advantage of me.”
Wittchen exhales through his nose, shaking his head. “It wasn’t like that,”
“It was exactly like that,” you snap, stepping closer. “And do you want to know the worst part? I spent years telling myself it wasn’t. That maybe I did love you, that maybe I wanted to be with you. But I didn’t.”
His jaw tightens, but he doesn’t deny it.
“I don’t regret leaving you,” you continue, voice trembling with fury. “I don’t regret moving on, or never looking back. But do you know what I do regret?”
He doesn’t answer, just watches you carefully, like he’s waiting for the killing blow.
“I regret ever letting you touch me. I regret every second I spent thinking you were something special, that you cared about me. You didn’t. You only cared about what I could give you.”
Something shifts in his expression—subtle, but enough. His fingers twitch again.
You steel yourself and drive the dagger deeper.
“You think I miscarried?” you ask, voice dropping to a whisper. “That’s what I told you, right? That I lost the baby?”
His face remains eerily blank.
“I lied,” you whisper. “I had an abortion.”
His entire body stiffens.
“Because the thought of being tied to you for the rest of my life made me sick. And I would’ve rather died from sepsis than deal with you.”
The silence that follows is suffocating.
For a moment, Wittchen doesn’t react. Doesn’t breathe.
Then, without warning, he moves.
His hand goes for his waistband, and in a split second, you see the glint of a gun.
But you’re faster.
Your own weapon is already in your hands before he can fully draw his, aimed directly at his chest.
“Don’t.” you warn, your voice steel.
Wittchen hesitates, his gun halfway raised, his eyes locked onto yours.
For the first time, there’s something close to uncertainty in his expression.
—
The team is listening.
They hear every word.
Spencer’s grip on his gun is tight, knuckles white, jaw clenched so hard it aches. The rest of the team stands tense beside him, ears trained on the conversation happening just beyond the door.
They could go in. They should go in.
But they don’t.
Not yet.
Because this isn’t their battle.
Still, when they hear the shift in the conversation, the moment Wittchen reaches for his gun, every muscle in Spencer’s body tenses, ready to move.
And then—
Silence.
A long, stretching silence.
Then a single gunshot.
—
“You’re lying,” Wittchen snaps, his voice rising as his fingers curl tighter around the revolver’s grip. He pulls back the hammer with a metallic click, the sound loud in the charged silence of the lecture hall.
His arm is steady, the barrel aimed at your chest, but you don't flinch. “You miscarried. You were sick. That’s the truth. I took care of you. I was there when you needed me.”
Your lips curl into a bitter smile.
“The baby was fine,” you say, voice cold and firm. “I just didn’t want it.”
The words hang between you, heavy and raw.
For a split second, something akin to disbelief flickers in his eyes. But he recovers quickly, his jaw tightening as his grip on the gun tightens. The cold, calculating look is back.
The man who used his power over you is right here, still trying to control the situation. But he’s unraveling, and you can see it now—the cracks in his façade.
“You think you can just walk away from all this?” Wittchen growls, his voice a low threat. His eyes dart between you and the gun in your hand, calculating the distance, the time it would take to react.
“You’re going to watch me.” you reply, your voice steady despite the chaos swirling inside you. You take a step forward, gun lowered in favour of a pair of handcuffs.
He lets out a sharp breath, taking a step backwards, his arm still outstretched, but his expression is one of rage and something else—desperation.
“I gave you everything,” Wittchen sneers. “I could’ve given you more. You were a star, you were going places. But you threw it all away.”
“I didn’t throw away anything.” you say, voice sharp, anger curling in your gut. “I made my life what I wanted it to be.”
You take another step toward him. Your hand grips your gun tighter, its cold weight a reminder of how far you’ve come, how much you’ve survived.
“I was a kid,” you say, quieter now, more dangerous. “A kid who wanted to make something of herself. But you? You made sure I’d always be tied to you, that I’d never escape your reach. You took that from me. And now?”
Now, you’re not just angry. Now, you’re done.
“I don’t need you anymore,” you continue, voice quiet but lethal. “And I don’t need to live in fear of you. Not anymore. Just give up.”
Wittchen’s face hardens. His finger moves closer to the trigger, and for a moment, it feels like time stands still. His eyes are cold, calculating—he’s trying to force you to back down, to make you fear him again. But you don’t. Not anymore.
And he knows it.
The silence stretches out, suffocating. And then, without another word, he turns the gun away from you and towards himself.
For a moment, the world is frozen.
The sharp scent of gunpowder lingers in the air.
You don’t flinch.
You don’t move.
Wittchen stares at you, almost smiling.
A slow, dark red stain spreads across his chest. His gun falls from his hand, clattering uselessly to the floor.
Then, his knees buckle.
He collapses.
The impact is dull, almost anticlimactic.
His breath comes in shallow gasps, and for the first time since you walked into this room, he looks small.
Weak.
The man who once held so much power over you is nothing more than a dying, pathetic heap on the floor.
And somehow, there’s no satisfaction in it.
You watch as the light fades from his eyes, as the last breath leaves his lips.
And then—
It’s over.
—
The gunshot sends the team into action.
Spencer is the first through the door, gun raised, eyes scanning the room for threats.
But all he finds is you—standing still, gun loose in one hand, handcuffs in the other, staring blankly ahead.
Wittchen is on the floor, unmoving. Blood pools around him.
For a second, no one speaks.
Then you move.
Without looking at any of them, you turn away from the corpse.
And then, numbly, silently, you walk past them.
You don’t stop when Spencer calls your name.
You don’t stop when JJ reaches for you.
You just keep walking.
Because it’s finally over.
And yet, somehow, it doesn’t feel like a victory at all.
—
The air outside the lecture hall is thick with tension.
Your gun feels heavy in your hands, and at some point, you register someone gently taking it from you. You don’t resist.
The hallways of Stanford feel different now. The ghosts you tried so hard to forget have been exorcised, but their shadows still linger.
You reach the nearest exit and step outside, inhaling sharply as the crisp night air hits you. You brace your hands on your knees, grounding yourself.
Then you hear footsteps behind you.
You know it’s them.
You straighten, forcing yourself to meet their gazes.
Hotch stands with his arms crossed, his expression unreadable but his presence steady. JJ and Emily exchange a look, worry etched into their features. Rossi, as always, watches with quiet understanding.
Then there’s Morgan.
He looks… shaken.
Guilt lingers in his eyes, and when he steps forward, his voice is lower, softer than you’ve ever heard it.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
You blink, caught off guard.
“For what?” Your voice is hoarse, raw.
Morgan exhales sharply, rubbing a hand over his jaw with his eyes full of regret. “I didn’t know.”
You swallow hard. You don’t want to talk about it. But there’s something in his voice, in the way his usually confident demeanor falters, that makes you nod stiffly.
“I know.”
It’s the closest thing to forgiveness you can offer right now.
Morgan nods, accepting it.
Spencer is the last to approach.
He doesn’t say anything at first—just stands there, his hands shoved into his pockets. His eyes, though, say everything.
You hold his gaze for a moment before sighing. “What?”
“I don’t know what to say,” he admits. His voice is careful, but there’s an edge of something else—frustration, sadness, maybe even anger. Not at you. Never at you. But at what happened. At what Wittchen took from you.
“You don’t have to say anything,” you murmur.
—
The hum of the jet is steady and low, a constant presence that fills the silence between breaths.
You sit by the window, staring out at the clouds, your reflection barely visible against the dark glass.
You should be exhausted.
You are exhausted.
But sleep won’t come.
Your mind won’t let it.
The seat next to you shifts slightly, and you glance over to see Spencer settling beside you.
He doesn’t say anything.
Doesn’t ask if you’re okay, because he already knows you’re not.
Doesn’t try to fill the silence with empty reassurances.
He just sits.
And somehow, that’s reassurance enough.
Sleep comes a little easier after that.
#cold!reader ᝰ.ᐟ#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#mgg#spencer reid angst#criminal minds angst
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Hey, can I get op boys>reaction to a child or anybody else hugging you,the way momonosuke hugged nami. It's okay if you don't want to do it.
DESCRIPTION: Their reaction to a child stealing your attention and affection
WARNINGS: slight insecurities/jealousy I guess but nothing serious
CHARACTERS: Shanks, Luffy
WORDS: 1,564
A/N: Hey there and thank you for sending in this request. I had a lot of fun thinking of how to make this scenario work and decided to just stick with two characters this time. If you want to request any other characters, please do. I hope this was to your liking 😊
*REQUESTS ARE OPEN*
DIRECTORY | PROMPT LIST | KO-FI
————————
SHANKS
It was a sure bet that everyone would naturally go to Shanks. It was a given that he was the most popular member of the crew. He was the Captain after all and any island you stopped at, he just had a way about him that charmed practically everyone in the vicinity. Ordinarily that was the case. Today it was almost the same, apart from one exception to the norm. You had an admirer and Shanks never had a problem with that because you always let them down kindly but firmly, only having eyes for him. This though? This was uncharted territory. You were staring at your clingy admirer with the warmest smile and his eyes narrowed. This was war.
Abruptly Ben nudged his shoulder and he looked as his right-hand man and closest friend pulled up the stool beside him. Shanks scoffed at Beckman’s unbridled amusement at his Captain’s sulking and very clear displeasure at what he was witnessing. From across the room your laughter drifted up and Shanks’s gaze snapped immediately to you, his glare sharpening. Nothing could be that funny, not without him. “Cap…relax. They’re-”
“A snake. They know exactly what they’re doing.” Shanks muttered, lifting his drink to his mouth as he glared at the snake in question, stealing you from him.
“They’re one, Shanks.” Beck reminded his Captain with his grin broadening. “You aren’t getting insecure because of a baby are you?”
“This food better be worth it.” Shanks grumbled. Stopping here was only because everyone was hungry and wanted to eat and drink together before separating to begin gathering supplies for the next leg of the stretch at sea. When you all entered you were met with a friendly but very stressed woman, trying to manage serving customers while also looking after her son. Her son in question stared with wide eyes at the arrival of the Red Haired Pirates, shy but curious. Then his gaze fell to you and he squirmed in his mother’s hold while stretching to get to you, immediately besotted.
You had no issue with helping keep the baby entertained since it helped his mother out and meant you could all still get something to eat and drink. As you held the baby close you couldn’t help but smile when the little boy let out a long yawn, using his fist to rub at his eyes. Finally you took a seat on the other side of Shanks and settled in the hopes he’d fall asleep. You finally broke your gaze away from the adorable little face to look at Shanks and Benn. “Isn’t he cute?”
“Yeah, adorable.” Shanks forced out, eyeing his tiny rival with a scowl. “Why don’t you let me take over?”
“I don’t mind, plus he’s falling asleep I don’t want to unsettle him.” You smiled, watching Shanks as he reached his hand out. The baby in your arms, half-asleep eyed Shanks with equal disdain. With an incoherent but very obvious noise of rejection, the baby’s fists latched tightly into your shirt and he nuzzled his head into your chest. “See? He’s comfy.”
Shanks knew better than anyone how comfy it was to lie against you and be wrapped in your arms. His eyes narrowed when the baby threw him one last look- pure smugness, Shanks saw-before he closed his eyes and feel asleep. Seeing the baby drift off and still maintain his vicelike grip on your close made you all but melt. “Shanks, how long are we staying on this island for?”
“We’re leaving as soon as the ship is restocked.”
“So soon?” You asked in surprise. Ordinarily you all stayed to relax and interact with the locals. Even short stops on islands would be a few days. It had been a long time since Shanks had made a decision like this. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah just really itching to get back to sea is all. We can’t laze around when we’ve got treasures to find and adventures to have.” You arched an eyebrow at Shanks’ explanation. When he turned his head to grab his drink you looked over his shoulder to throw a questioning look to Beck. Subtly the man dropped his gaze to the baby in your arms and mouthed ‘jealous’ making you grin.
Rolling your eyes at how the most laidback man in the world you decided to fall in love with could be so ridiculous at times. Shifting your chair closer you lay your back against his side and reached up to press a soft peck against his cheek. “Love you, you big baby.”
“Love you too.” Shanks grinned down at you, wrapping his arm around you to hold you closer. “Make sure to say that again though when the little brat wakes up. He needs to know I’m the winner.”
LUFFY
“Hey you little brat let go of them!”
“Make me!”
“I. Said. Let. Go.”
“Nuh-uh! You’re not the boss of me. Just go away and leave us alone, stupid hat!”
“Stupid hat?!” Luffy repeated with an angry glare, looking to you sharply with wide eyes, silently checking if you heard the added insult to him. It was nearly as bad as the fact some little kid was clinging to you happily with their arms tightly around your neck with no sign of letting go. You could only shrug and smile, it was just a little kid. You’d been the one to save them from an attacking enemy so of course they would be more attached to you than any of the others on the crew. The boy was harmless but Luffy was acting like he was top of the list of people he wanted to beat on his quest to be King of the Pirates. “Say it again brat! I dare you!”
“Stuuuupid haaaat!” The little kid leant further in to Luffy’s face, stretching out the insult with a taunting grin and defiance in his eyes that would have been something Luffy would have respected had it been directed at anyone else. Satisfied, the little boy relaxed back against you and stuck his tongue out at your seething Captain and boyfriend. Luffy snarled and grabbed the child’s ankle, ready to pull them off of you. The boy only let out an overly dramatic squeal and tucked their head under your chin. “No!! Stop him! He’s scaring me!”
“Luffy, c’mon be nice. Please?” You asked settling your hand soothingly over Luffy’s hand to make him stop immediately. This was meant to be a party to celebrate another victory for the crew and for some reason Luffy was getting confrontational with a child instead of enjoying himself and eating all the food on offer. “They’re only doing it because they know it’s annoying you.”
“But-”
“I know, I know.” You spoke softly, lifting your hand from his to affectionately run your fingers along the rim of his hat. “I love your hat, it’s not stupid to me.”
“It’s only stupid because he’s wearing it.” The little boy muttered sourly, turning his head to glare at the fact you were giving Luffy a compliment. “It’d look great on you though.”
“Awww thank you.” You smiled, relieved that they hadn’t been too scared by Luffy. It was no wonder he was acting up, after finally being free from the group of pirates terrorising his home he was finally getting to act like a child again and not have to worry about living in fear from you or the rest of the crew. “I think you’d look cool with a hat like Luffy’s too.”
“He can keep his hat.” You held back your initial urge to laugh but still you grinned when his arms tightened around your neck. “He gets his hat, and I get you!”
“Wh- WHAT?!“ Luffy shouted, the calm you’d managed to evoke with him disappearing faster than the food in the fridge when Sanji’s back was turned. “You can’t have them, they’re mine!”
Once again the shouting picked up and you were stuck between the two, listening to the fight and bicker over you with vicious possessiveness. You were jostled when the little boy moved to perch himself on your back, shouting over your shoulder as Luffy’s arms wrapped around your body so he could get into the kid’s face as they argued back and forth about who you were going to stay with, not that either of them thought to ask your opinion on that fact. Having no choice you were helpless and just had to stand there as these two equally persistent energies until finally they both tired themselves out and in unison they fell asleep, slumping over but keeping their grips on you as tight as ever. Sighing you managed to drag yourself over to an empty seat and awkwardly sit down despite the hinderances having two people clinging to you brought.
Eventually the boy’s mother came across your predicament and managed to lift her son off of you, leaving you to just have Luffy hold you possessively but that was something you were used to at night. Alone you smiled at your boyfriend. Yes it was childish of him to take the little boy’s infatuation with you seriously but it was reassuring that if he fought for you this fiercely then it meant you really had nothing to fear if anyone else came sniffing around you.
——————————————-
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#one piece#one piece scenario#one piece fic#one piece imagines#one piece fanfiction#one piece x reader#one piece x you#one piece shanks#shanks x you#shanks x reader#luffy one piece#luffy x you#luffy x reader#op shanks#shanks#red haired shanks#akagami no shanks#red hair shanks#shanks one piece#shanks op#red haired shanks x you#red haired shanks x reader#mugiwara no luffy#monkey d. luffy#luffy#one piece luffy#straw hat luffy#op luffy#monkey d luffy#luffy op
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Love in the Fast Lane
Lewis Hamilton x Reader
Summary: A road trip turns into a heartfelt journey of love.
The hum of the engine was a soothing backdrop as Lewis drove, his sunglasses reflecting the sunlit highway stretching out ahead.
You sat in the passenger seat, your hand resting lightly on the console between you, and you couldn’t help but notice the smile playing on his lips.
He had been unusually quiet about the details of this trip, only saying he wanted to take you somewhere special.
“Are you ever going to tell me where we’re going?” you asked, turning to look at him.
He glanced at you, his smile growing. “Where’s the fun in that? Just trust me.”
You laughed, shaking your head. “Trusting you got me into a car at 6 AM with no coffee. I think I deserve a hint.”
“Alright, alright,” he said as he reached to squeeze your hand before putting his back on the wheel. “It’s somewhere I used to go before everything got... hectic. A place that helps me think, you know?”
“That sounds perfect. Thank you for bringing me along.”
“Where else would you be, Love?” he asked with a smile before you reached to change the music.
The rest of the drive was filled with easy conversation.
He pointed out random sights along the way.
A quirky roadside diner.
A vintage car that zipped past, and you teased him about how he couldn’t resist critiquing other drivers.
After a couple of hours, the car slowed as he turned onto a narrow, tree-lined road. The lush greenery enveloped the path, and you felt a thrill of anticipation.
“This is it?” you asked, peering out at the scenery.
“Not quite,” he said, his voice teasing. “We’ve got just a little more to go.”
The road opened to a breathtaking view of rolling hills, the sun painting the landscape in gold.
Lewis parked the car at a small overlook and got out, rounding the vehicle to open your door.
“Ever the gentleman,” you teased, taking his hand as you stepped out.
“Always.”
He led you to a spot where a blanket and a small picnic basket had been set up. You blinked in surprise, turning to him. “When did you do this?”
“Magic, and a little planning.”
You sat on the blanket, Lewis handed you your favourite soda.
Conversation between you two was always something extremely calming and natural.
As the sun began to set, casting everything in a beautiful, golden light, Lewis grew quieter.
You watched him, noticing the way he seemed to be gathering his thoughts.
“Hey,” you said softly, touching his arm. “What’s on your mind?”
He looked at you, his expression uncharacteristically serious. “Just thinking about how lucky I am.”
You tilted your head, smiling. “Is that so?”
He nodded, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small, velvet box.
Your breath caught as he opened it to reveal a stunning ring, the diamonds catching the sunlight even though there was not much sunlight left.
“Lucky that I get to spend my life with you,” he said, his voice steady but full of meaning and depth. “I’ve been waiting for the right moment to ask you this, and I realized there’s no such thing as the perfect time. Every moment with you feels right.” Your heart was pounding as he took your hand. “Will you marry me?”
For a moment, all you could do was nod. “Yes,” you managed to finally say, your voice breaking. “Yes, of course.”
He slipped the ring onto your finger, his hands steady even as yours trembled.
Then he pulled you into his arms, holding you close.
“Guess I’ll have to drive carefully on the way back,” he murmured into your hair.
You laughed through your tears of happiness, pulling back to look at him. “Why’s that?”
“Because now I’ve got my future wife in the car,” he said, his grin breaking through.
The rest of the evening was you going through Pinterest having to look at different wedding aesthetics, trying to find the most perfect one.
"Since you are a knight... can we hold the wedding in a castle?" you asked and Lewis laughed.
"So you can be the Princess and me the Knight in shining armour?"
"Or a nice Armani suit. I'm not forcing you into anything metal." Lewis nodded.
"We will do everything you want, Princess."
And as you drove back, you couldn't look away from your beautiful ring. A proud smile on his lips and a very happy one on yours.
#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 imagines#f1 x reader#formula 1#formula one#lewis hamilton imagines#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton imagine#lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton x you#lewis hamilton fanfic#lewis hamilton fanfiction#lh44#lewis hamilton x fem you#lewis hamilton x fem reader#lewis hamilton x fem!reader#f1 fanfiction#f1 fic#f1 lewis hamilton#f1 lewis hamilton x reader#f1 lewis hamilton imagine#f1 lewis hamilton imagines#f1 lewis hamilton x you
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I don’t know if you’re doing smut, but if you do, how about the reader is a recruiter like the salesman and there together and how would he be with you in the Bed! (He’s a total psycho for me hehe)
salesman x recruiter!reader headcanons (sfw + nsfw)
sorry for the super long wait! i did headcanons for this one since i’m not the most comfortable w hardcore smut. if you’ve read my stories, you probably already know i’m a sucker for soft and domestic salesman lmao
notes: gender-neutral!reader; the recruiter is called salesman here since reader is also a recruiter here
warnings, just in case: mentions of whips, guns, slight exhibitionism
minors dni! there’s smut in this one, folks
(also pls send me requests! i’m working on the ones i’ve already received, but more are always welcome♡ not just for the salesman either, i am begging anything sangwoo too)
sfw
if the reader is also a recruiter, you’d have probably met the salesman just after becoming a recruiter yourself.
while the salesman’s game of choice was ddakji, yours was tic-tac-toe.
similar to the salesman who carried ddakji tiles and various bills of won, your briefcase contained a simple wooden frame and wooden ‘x’ and ‘o’ pieces.
when you first met, he was polite and courteous towards you.
as time went on though, you felt as if you were being followed after work hours. one morning however, you’d caught him following you and confronted him, saying that his assigned location wasn’t anywhere near yours.
stunned that you had discovered him, he offered to have lunch together, which you accepted. the two of you started to grow closer, with both of you checking in on each other via text throughout the day.
even though you and the salesman would rarely cross paths during work, you always made time for each other after work.
this man can be soft when he wants to be. from cutely pouting when he loses at board games to snuggling in bed after a long day of slapping people, he’s capable of being a loving partner when he feels like it. he just didn’t have someone to share that side of him until you came along.
that’s not to say he doesn’t have a dark side. of course he does! that’s what we’re all here for, right?
nsfw
you always knew the salesman had interesting… tendencies.
although you also played games while seeking out prospective players, you didn’t bring that part of your life home. that is, until you met the salesman.
you quickly learned that he loved games. so much so that he’d incorporated them into your sex life.
what game haven’t you played by this point?
tag, where he chased you around his apartment until he eventually pinned you down and had his way with you.
marco polo, where he shouted “marco!”, to which you replied “polo!” from your hiding spot. he’d then crack his whip in the direction in which you called.
tug of war, where you’d both tug on a special rope he’d bought just for the occasion. he’d usually win, unless he took it easy on you. the winner would use the rope to tie the loser’s hands to the bedpost.
and of course, when he was feeling spicy, his favourite: russian roulette. while he rarely loaded the gun with a live bullet, he thrived on the fear in your eyes when he pressed the gun against your chin and clicked the trigger.
of course, he’d do it to himself too, even going so far as to deepthroat the gun. even though you were scared out of your mind, you had to admit it was a huge turn-on.
contrary to popular belief, he wasn’t always the one in charge.
you also had your fun, like when you would play with one of those paper fortune-tellers you made when you were a kid.
depending on what “fortune” he had chosen, you’d do different things to him.
for example, if he chose “slow”, “teasing”, and “cockwarming,” you’d do exactly that. you’d tie him to the bedpost, then teasingly grind down on him for as long as you wanted. no amount of frustrated groans or the rare whine would get you to stop your actions. of course, you’d capture his lips to muffle his moans. while he loved making sure that your neighbours could hear you through the walls, you preferred not to have an audience.
finally, he’d take the utmost care in helping you clean up afterwards. as much as he would love to show your ruined state off to the world, you had to be presentable for your job.
you’d try your best to care for him as well, buying expensive lotions for his calloused hands.
all in all, you made a great team, both in the streets and in the sheets.
i am very proud of that last line ngl
#the salesman x reader#the recruiter x reader#squid game#squid game season 2#gong yoo x reader#squid game fanfic#reader insert#the recruiter#the salesman#squid game x reader#squid game x you#the salesman smut#the salesman x you#the salesman fluff#gender neutral reader#squid game headcanons#the recruiter headcanons#the salesman headcanons#the recruiter squid game#the salesman squid game#the salesman fanfic
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Just You and Me: Part Two
On every part of this series, there will be a poll where you can vote whether you want reader to end up with Steve or Eddie or both! This has been so much fun to write and I hope y’all enjoy!
summary: you debut your “relationship at Corroded Coffin’s gig at The Hideout, unknowingly hurting the both of them.
cw: hurt/no comfort, angst, mention of alcohol
part one
Steve is sitting on the couch in your living room while you show him the entire time frame of your “relationship” that you’ve mapped out on a piece of poster board. You put it up on an easel and even got a collapsible metal pointer to really show him how serious you are about the whole thing.
Though, he seems more interested in the bag of potato chips he’s snacking on as opposed to the whole point of why he’s even at your apartment. He knows he’s supposed to be focusing, but how can he when you’re wearing that skirt that drives him crazy? Your legs just look so good and he’s so desperate to run his hands up and down your thighs as he lies on top of you, kissing you until you’re both-
“Steve, hello,” you’re waving your hand in front of his face and he’s quick to snap back into reality.
“Huh?” He asks, still partially in his daze and you snatch the chip bag from his hand and see them down on the coffee table that sits between you, making sure it’s just out of reach for him.
“Focus.“ You hit the pointer against the poster board to try to get his attention, but he’s still got that dreamy look in his eye. You wonder what’s so important that he’s not listening to you. It seems like he’s been in his own head for days.
“Sorry.” Now he feels like a jackass. You’re going through all of this effort and all he’s doing is staring at your body. He brings his focus back to the board and for the first time, he’s actually looking and holy shit, with how much thought you’ve put into this whole thing, it might just work.
“Where is your head today?” Up his ass, apparently. He can’t think about anything except how beautiful you look and it’s fucking with his head.
“I’m sorry. I was just up really late last night.” He’s actually not lying. He couldn’t sleep because of you. Because of this whole thing and how he isn’t exactly sure how it’s going to play out.
“Right, with your flavor of the week?” He hasn’t actually slept with anyone in a long time. He would just keep wishing it was you so he just stopped altogether because he didn’t want to lead anyone.
“Nope, just me and my hand, unfortunately.” He holds up said hand and wiggles his fingers which causes you to grimace.
“Gross.”
“So when does this whole thing start?” He asks, leaning against the couch with his arms sitting along the back.
“Tomorrow night. Corroded Coffin is performing at the Hideout so it’s a perfect opportunity.”
“So, no practice? We’re just going balls deep?” How the hell are you going to pull this off without practice? That makes no sense and no one’s even going to believe you if you can’t be convincing.
“First of all, don’t ever say that again. Second, we’re going to practice right now so just chill out, alright?” You head over to the couch and sit down next to Steve. Your thighs are touching and he can feel the heat from you through his jeans. If things were different, he’d have you straddling his lap, his hands resting on your back as he kisses you until you’re both breathless.
“Practice what?” He asks. Maybe if he actually read everything on your easel, he wouldn’t be so confused.
“Hold my hand,” you tell him and he hates that his cheeks are blushing. He’s held your hand so many times, but this is different. It’s supposed to be romantic, or implying that it is to other people.
His hand slides into yours, fingers intertwining and when he looks up at your face, you’re staring at him like he’s just hung the moon. God, you’re good. You’re acting, right? You have to be. Because if you weren’t and actually in love with him then you wouldn’t even be doing this whole stupid thing.
“You’re a natural,” you tell him with a smile.
“I’m just holding your hand, l/n. It’s not rocket science.”
“Still,” you shrug. “You know exactly what to do.” And he does. You’d never admit it, but his hand feels nice in yours. It’s soft and smooth and the way that his thumb is rubbing back and forth along yours. You almost don’t want to let go.
“Is this it?” Steve asks, still feeling his heart hammer in his chest at the feeling of your hand in his. He’d never tell you how right it feels to him. How he wants to hold your hand forever and never let go.
“No,” You shake your head, your hand reluctantly slipping out of his. You turn your body fully to face him and he mimics you, trying his best to not reach for your hand again. “I was wondering if you’d be comfortable practicing kissing.” Would he be comfortable? He’s only dreamed about kissing you every day for the majority of his life. He’s so ready and trying to not show just how eager he is.
“I’m open to it,” he nods and you bring your legs up onto the couch, crossing them over each other. And once again, Steve mimics you, doing the exact same thing. He watches as you take a deep breath. Could it be possible that you’re just as nervous? That would actually make him feel a whole lot better.
Your hands slowly reach up and grab hold of his face, cradling it gently. He hums at your touch, his eyes fluttering closed. Is this actually real? Or does this dream just seem so realistic? As soon as your lips touch his, he’s sure that it’s real. And it’s perfect, everything he ever dreamed it would be.
His mouth moves with yours as one hand rests at the back of your head, the other resting on your waist. And of fucking course you’re a good kisser. You’re good at everything. It’s only supposed to be short, but neither of you want to be the first to break away.
So you stay like that for just a little longer. You even go as far as licking into his mouth to deepen it, so close to climbing into his lap, but you refrain. It isn’t supposed to be like this. It’s just practice. But you’re enjoying it way more than you thought you would. So much so that you’re not even thinking about why you’re doing it or Eddie for that matter. All you’re thinking about is Steve and how much you want him inside you.
Steve lets out a moan and you’re quick to pull away, finally pulled back into reality. His pupils are blown wide and his lips are a pretty shade of pink from being kiss bitten. He runs his hands through his hair and god, he’s just so pretty. You’ve always thought that, but especially tonight. You have to pull yourself out of your thoughts, trying to think about Eddie. That’s your main focus.
You don’t like Steve. This was just you getting caught up in the moment. That’s all it is. You just have to make sure that you don’t go that far again so you don’t do something you know you shouldn’t. As long as all of your kisses are around other people, that shouldn’t be a problem.
“How was that?” You ask before rolling your lips into your mouth.
“That was-” Steve cuts himself off, his cheeks turning a bright pink. “That was-I mean, wow.”
“Is that supposed to be a compliment?” You’re unsure, but you’re hoping so. He wouldn’t have kissed you for that long if it was bad, right?
“Yes.”
“Well, good. I think we’re going to be convincing.” So you still want to go through with it. Eddie is still your goal. He doesn’t know why he thought that his kiss would make you want to call the whole thing off. Clearly all Steve will ever be to you is your best friend.
The rest of the night is spent role playing different scenarios and acting accordingly. Steve tries his best to play it off like he’s fine, but really, all he wants to do is throw in the towel. He wants to just quit and tell you that you’re on your own because it’s all just hurting too much.
But because he’s just such a great friend, he doesn’t. He can’t. You’ve already gotten this far and now you have to see it through. He also doesn’t want you asking Robin. Partly because he knows Robin can’t lie for shit and partly because he’d just be super jealous. So he’s going to do it and he’s going to do it with a big smile on his face because he doesn’t want to hurt you.
The Hideout is pretty empty when you and Steve show up. This is the usual turn out for a Tuesday night, but you and your friends are going to cheer for the band just like you always do. They’re setting up their equipment on the stage and you and Steve make a beeline for them, you trying to not seem so excited to see Eddie.
He looks so good in his leather jacket, cropped t-shirt, and jeans that hug his body in all the right places. He catches sight of you out of the corner of his eye and cuts his conversation with Gareth short as he hurries over to you.
He jumps off the stage and Steve’s quick to pull you back so you don’t get hurt, trying his hardest not to glare at the guy. That’s one of his best friends and is he really going to be the kind of guy who lets a girl get in between them? No way. Their friendship is way more important than that.
“You made it,” Eddie smiles, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jacket.
“I always do,” you smile back and Steve doesn’t like the flirty looks you’re giving each other. “And I even brought Stevie to be another one of your cheerleaders.”
Eddie watches the way Steve wraps his arms around your middle, resting his chin on your shoulder. This doesn’t surprise him since you’re always touchy with each other, but this time, it seems different. And when Steve kisses your cheek, he knows it is.
“So, you two, huh?” He asks, pushing hands further into his pockets, balling his fists as he tries his best to hide how upset he is. He always knew this day would come. The two of you are meant for each other and everyone knows it. He just wished he would have had a chance before the two of you made it official. But he supposes that you were always bound to end up together. That’s how that kind of shit always goes for Eddie.
“Yeah,” you nod with a smile, looking up at Steve and Eddie feels like his heart is being ripped out of his chest because it’s not him who you’re looking at like that. “For a couple weeks now, wouldn’t you say so, honey?”
“I’d say so,” Steve nods, not even having to try to look lovingly at you.
“Well, I’m happy for you. It was a long time coming.” He’s smiling through the pain, trying his best to pretend like he can’t hear his heart breaking.
There’s a look on his face that you can’t quite make out and you really wish you knew if he was telling the truth. But then again, Eddie is one who’s known for being honest, even brutally so. And you’ve been friends long enough that you expect him to tell you the truth when something is bothering him.
But Eddie would never tell you the truth, not about how he feels about you, anyway. He’s taking that shit to the grave now since you’re with Steve. He excuses himself to head back to the stage to make sure that everything is all set and you’re starting to think that went too well. He really wasn’t even a little jealous?
You and Steve head to the bar and he’s squeezing your shoulder to show you that he’s sympathetic to the situation. Because as badly as he wants to be with you, he really just wants you to be happy in the end even if it’s not with him.
The two of you sip on your drinks, standing even closer to each other than you normally would, feeling the need to touch each other in any way you can to make the whole thing believable. You have to admit that Steve is a much better actor than you had initially thought. If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought that he was in love with you.
How devastating that would be if he was? You would have felt so horrible for asking him to pretend to be your boyfriend if you knew that was what he was wanting from you all along. That would really make you feel like a dick because how cruel would that have been to make him pretend to be something he’s wanted to be all for the purpose of trying to get the attention of someone else?
You reach up and brush some hair out of Steve’s face and he’s trying so hard to reel back his feelings. He’s been thinking about that kiss since it happened and if he had the balls, he would have asked you if you could price again. He’s desperate for more, so close to pulling you yo the bathroom to have his way with you, fucking you senseless until you completely forget Eddie’s name, Steve’s being the only one to fall from your lips.
You’re nudging him from his fantasy and he’s immediately snapped back to reality. How long was he out? His fantasies seem to be lasting way longer lately, much more real. He’s getting even more pathetic by the second and he’s not sure how much more he can take.
“It's about to start. Let’s go.” You grab him by the hand and he follows you to the front of the stage where you’re beaming up at Eddie who’s at the front of the stage, introducing the band into the mic before going into the first song.
He watches you the entire time, hating how Steve’s got his arms wrapped around you, his chin making a home on your shoulder. He’s filled with more anger than he knows what to do with. Seeing how you’re looking at each other makes him so jealous that he’s so close to diving off the stage and tackling Steve, which he knows is wrong.
Because truly, neither of you are doing anything wrong. You’re just a couple and Eddie was actually counting down the days, trying to slide in before you got together, but he’s too late. And he’s kicking himself for it.
He’s so focused on you and Steve that he’s not even paying attention to what he’s doing. He’s actually not even sure how he can keep up with his bandmates. He’s trying to focus on the lyrics he’s singing. The lyrics he wrote for you and how he feels about you.
You can’t believe how talented Eddie is. How this is what he’s really meant to do. You just know he’s going to make it and pretty soon, Corroded Coffin is going to sell out arenas, The Hideout being just the beginning.
He’s so into what he’s singing, his eyes closed. But you don’t know that he’s only doing it so he doesn’t have to see you with Steve. The song is so romantic, unlike the band’s other songs. Eddie’s voice sounds so pained and you hope that he’s not speaking from personal experience. Even though it hurts thinking about him being with someone else, you’d hate for him to not be able to be with who he’s interested in.
He’s grabbed your attention as he goes into his guitar solo, the cords slower than what he’s used to. You’re hypnotized by the way his fingers slide across the strings, doing it so effortlessly that you can’t help but be impressed.
Steve sees the way you’re staring and pulls you closer to him to get your attention. How will it look if his girlfriend is looking at the lead singer like he’s hung the moon? He knows no one cares, but he does. He honestly only cares because of how badly he wants you to look at him like that. That’s all he’s ever wanted and he knows that he’s not going to get it. Because it’s just his luck that he'd be in love with someone who isn’t in love with him. He’s never anyone’s first choice.
The set ends and the two of you wait as Eddie and the band pack up their equipment. You’re supposed to go out to dinner with them afterwards and Steve is absolutely dreading it. He just wants to go home and drown himself in the bottle of tequila he bought the other night and listen to your favorite record on repeat.
You wait until Eddie is distracted and wrap your arms around Steve's neck, throwing your head back as a loud laugh escapes your lips. Steve somehow catches on and he laughs as well, his genuine because yours is just so damn contagious.
Eddie looks up from where he’s putting his guitar away and that feeling in his gut he’s been having since the two of you showed up gets even worse, to the point where it starts to hurt. Yeah, he’s not going out tonight. He’s going to curl up in his bed and write some of the most devastating lyrics.
And when he watches the two of you lean in for a kiss, well, you might as well have ripped his heart out of his chest. That would have hurt a lot less. Gareth follows Eddie’s line of sight and doesn’t even have to ask to know what Eddie is thinking.
He doesn’t see how no one else knows how Eddie feels. He’s so goddamn obvious that it’s become painful to watch. And he knows you like him too so seeing you show up with Steve really threw him off. He knows that Steve likes you too, so this whole thing is really just a mess. He doesn’t want anyone to get hurt, especially not Eddie because he’s always getting the short end of the stick.
The rest of the members go out to dinner which you politely decline the invitation to since Eddie’s not going. You just have Steve drop you off at your apartment because being by yourself suddenly sounds so inviting. You just want to be by yourself because of how hurt you are that your plan is failing and it’s only started. How the hell are you going to continue when it’s not even effective?
So, the three of you wallow in your self pity in your respective rooms, hating how everything is turning out. It’s all so painful and unfair. Tears are shed and alcohol is drunk like water to numb the pain that you’re all feeling. Something that should be so simple has been complicated because you just had to go and pull Steve into your scheme instead of just being honest with him. And it seems like you’re going to pay for it, unknowingly hurting the both of them.
#stranger things#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x fem!reader#steve harrington#steve harrington x fem!reader#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x reader
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Ok now I’ve slept and the hype over last night is over I’ve had time to actually think about what could happen. So my theories are below the cut. I've almost definitely forgot something so might add to it or tweak it later.
Firstly, Drew possibly feuding with Damian? He was eliminated by him and seemed shocked. Then there’s the whole thing about drew apparently storming out after the show and complaining that someone messed up and eliminated him too soon and “had to get their moves in”. I'm assuming this is probably part of a storyline. So I guess damian? Reminds me of what they did when punk returned. Which also means drew on smackdown as they’ve previously been hinting at :( tbh I’m still surprised. The bloodline story he had was interesting, I was sure he was gonna have a match with Roman at mania. And I feel like it would be weird to briefly go after Damian for something seemingly unrelated to the bloodline, and then to go back to Roman. So I’m assuming this will be a feud till mania. But it does feel very random.
Seth I think might be doing something with Roman reigns. There seemed to be a lot more focus on their dynamic in the match tonight. And now Roman has no title it would be even easier to have a blood feud. Also kinda tired of Seth v punk tbh cos it’s not really as fun when the two of them can’t even talk about half of the shit that actually happened when punk left. Tho a three way match between the lot of them to tide us over til mania would be pretty good. Tho I feel if that happened it would be a mania match, not something for elimination chamber so maybe not. Cos I have thoughts about punk rn.
With punk I’m wondering if the favour might be to garauntee him a place in the chamber match, or to otherwise get him a title match/chance to qaulify for one. I was so sure if he went for a title it would be with gunther cos they keep mentioning him and they had those house show matches. It seemed like only a matter of time before he was back in the title picture. But now I’m wondering if it might be Cody. I was surprised to see punk vow to go for Cody in that promo before the rumble after so much Gunther setup (again, he was constantly mentioning him thru the drew and Seth feuds and they had their house show match). And I’m wondering if this is why. Cos they wanted to pull the trigger on Jey and it only made sense for jey to go for Gunther so they shifted punk to Cody.
The punk/cody promo was interesting with punk being worried for him, and Cody seeming burnt out. Then they seemed to have Cody snap in the match last night. I’m wondering if we’re finally gonna get psychotic heel Cody now for punk to feud with. The thing with Cody is that after his storyline to get the title, his title loss will need to be something just as major.
Punks first wwe title since 2013 would be very major. And I can’t imagine them doing a story of his first title in so long and have him be a heel. Cos all the nostalgia fans r gonna be rooting for him no matter what. So it’s not really worth it to try make him a heel. Plus I think it’s an interesting idea that punk, the former burnt out champion fighting a heel Cody, the current burnt out champion, right after warning him about said burnout.
Yes punk was pissed about his loss last night, but if this is what they do then he won’t be going full heel, just typical angry punk with dirty tactics.
Of course this could all be wrong though. Punk might go after Seth again, or wind up in a three way feud with Roman too after the rumble drama. But the thing is, neither Seth or Roman caused him to lose so aside from Seth going mental afterwards, I can’t see why punk would want Seth when hes been so adament about a title ever since he finished his match with seth back on the first netflix raw. Still not sure how I feel about Seth v punk tho considering how mid the punk/seth feud has been. It’s dramatic, sure, but Seth’s arguments really fall apart when u think about them for more than 5 seconds and consider all the other stuff that happened that they’re not talking about, and punk looks weird not mentioning it.
Of course this all leaves out cena. If he wasn’t here I’d be certain of the Cody/punk feud. But with him I’m not so sure. It’s entirely possible that punks promo with Cody was just to provide a bit of foreshadowing before he actually snapped in the match. And that we’re gonna get heel Cody v cena. Cos I do find it hard to imagine that cena won’t be in a main event on his last mania in the wwe. But I also find it weird that they would have cena take the title from Cody if he’s not gonna be sticking around for long after mania. Also from the sounds of things, Cena won't be on TV till elimination chamber. And if they keep that up all year, with him not being on tv and only doing the PPVs its gonna be annoying if he's the champ and never around. It seems like a weird way to end Cody’s title.
And tbh both of these Cody feuds, I feel if they happen, would lead to the title change. But that means a year long reign for Cody. I was so sure he would keep the title longer. But then again, after the major drama to get it, it needs a major place to lose it, like at mania. And I suppose after Roman they don’t just wanna lock into another multi year title reign. They might want the belt to move around a bit more and give more people chances at a title match. So yeah.
It’s hard to say for sure cos it means we now have 3 world title feuds to consider. There’s not enough belts to go around. I saw some theories that punk would use his favour to get a title match before mania, get the belt and then take gunthers place to face jay. But that feels a bit too convoluted for a 2 month storyline. It would be hard to have punk as a face in even the early days of that kind of story if he's going after Jey, and I find it hard to believe they would try to make him heel for his first title back in the company. Cos they won’t be able to get anyone to boo him. Plus I’d be surprised to see him get a title at elimination chamber instead of mania, again cos it’s such a major thing in his career.
So I don’t really know. All I know is I don’t really wanna see Seth v punk anymore. And Seth v punk v Roman could be good, but I’m still not fully sold on that yet, I guess cos Roman and punk haven’t done a whole lot of talking. Also if they did this, it would have to be Roman v punk at mania cos what tf else could they do? The three of them all have very different relationships with each other and they would need to just focus on something. They’ve already done of lot of Seth with each of them, so maybe do Roman v punk and focus on that a bit more and build on survivor series. I just can't see them going for a 3 way feud instead of them trying to get the title. Presumbably all three will be in the chamber match, but then what? All three of them AGAIN at mania??
But the issue I’m still having with that, is that it leaves out the favour. And the favour has been hyped up so much it needs to be something significant. It doesn't have to be like "give me a title now", but rather "get me in the chamber match". Last night I legit thought when punk stepped up to Heyman, he was gonna cash it in, and have it be to get him back in the rumble somehow. Obviously they didn’t do that, and tbh it’d be a bit beyond Heyman's authority to just put him back in, but the point is it’s gonna have to be something important. And if it turns out to be a place in the chamber and he still loses, I feel like it would be a waste. So maybe the chamber and he wins? But then what about cena?
If jey v Gunther wasn’t happening, u could have cena and punk as faces going after Gunther and Cody and do whatever. There was so many storylines that needed finishing and they decided to revive jay v Gunther which we already saw last week at snme and the whole build to that was just incredibly fucking boring. I love them both, but their feud was just boring, and I thought they only did it to fill the card because they didn't want anything too major when they had the rumble literally the next week.
I still feel snme should be for tag titles and mid card titles to give some of those people more tv time, cos otherwise some of these mid carders only really do anything of note at rumbles (still annoyed tozawa lost his sport to ishowspeed for a meme, i liked otis and maxine, but what has tozawa done of any significance on tv??).
I like jay and Gunther individually but their feud has been dull. It’s just been your average “I’m gonna win because I believe in myself :D” and that’s it. Just like his snme Gunther feud. And just like his ic title feud. It’s a repeat of Sami v Gunther, which I also didn’t care for for the same reason. Also Sami didn’t really do much with his reign, and I feel like that’s gonna happen to jay, just like his IC title run.
I get they wanted to pull the trigger on jey, but there’s just so much other stuff going on that needed finishing. I feel like they should have waited till mitb, have jay win that, and get a title that way once all this other stuff is finished up. Cos there’s no need for him to go after Gunther specifically, as there’s not a lot there aside from gunther’s “I don’t think u can do it” lines. So just have him go after whoever is champ after mitb. But obviously it’s done now so they need to make the most of it. It would be a good opportunity to build jeys character some more beyond being the yeet man, cos otherwise this feud is gonna tank over the next 2 months.
Also, my theories all rely on Cody going heel. If it turns out that isn’t happening, then it’s so fucking over. Cody v cena or punk as a face v face would be so shit. And in either of those feuds, it just wouldn’t make sense for cena or punk to be the heel, and there’s not enough real bad blood between any of them to have a feud without heel/face dynamics and be basing it on fans personal opinions of them like with Seth and punk.
So yeah, Cody’s apparently gonna be gone for a little while. Fingers crossed he’s gonna be coming back as a heel.
Also if they even try to do Logan Paul v cm punk I’m gonna end it.
So yeah I’m feeling a lot about last night and I’m really confused what they’re gonna do. But I can’t see cena not being a main event in his final mania and also not getting a title. So I’m gonna guess it’s cena v Cody and jey v Gunther as main event title matches, then Roman v punk, Damien v drew, and then Seth v ???. But still confused why they keep hyping up future punk world title matches and not fucking doing them. It’s getting annoying. And still no idea where the favour comes in. They need to hurry up and use it tho before people get sick of the edging with that as well. And after all this build up, it needs to be something major.
I was so sure cena and punk would win the chamber and rumble matches, then we’d have Gunther v punk and heel Cody v cena, so I’m not sure what to think now. And I can’t really come up with a good theory without leaving some major plot point of person out completely. Maybe I’m not thinking enough. But I’m still mourning that Gunther v punk match we could have had. It would have been so good. They’d have sassed each other to no end, and I imagine their matches would be really good too, based on what I saw in their house match.
But then again, hhh did say in the post show that they dont want to always go for the obvious match, so maybe jay will go for cody after all? Also I really hope we dont get cena as champ if he's not even gonna be on tv aside from ppv matches. I get that he's ppv talent, but theres plenty of other people of tv who do promos and little scuffles but mostly/exclusively do only ppv matches: like seth, roman, punk. They've done the odd thing on tv, but most of the time, they save their matches for ppvs. If cena's not even showing up between ppvs, theres gonna be almsot no build for anything. I really hope that's not a pattern that's gonna happen all year. But he did say in the post show that he's going to Hungary to film something and won't be back until elimination chamber next month. So yeah, no build. Maybe that's why they didn't have cena win the rumble? cos he's not gonna be around for a title to be worth it?? but I still find it hard to believe he's not gonna get a world title at mania. But who knows. Maybe we will somehow magically get that Gunther v punk match after all.
Still not sure how I feel about everything after last night. There were so many storylines that could have been explored, and I feel like jey and Gunther could have waited. The way it's been so far, I just think it's going to be a boring feud and the match is just gonna feel like a waste of a main event spot. But I imagine my feelings on the rumble could change again after raw so who knows. Maybe hhh secretly has some sort of master plan that I’ve yet to realise and I need to just shut the fuck up and wait. But I enjoy theorising so leave me to make my silly theories, I swear I’m having fun.
But one final thing, there better actually be a cena v punk moment at the chamber or I'm gonna flip. Why the hell did they all stand in the ring together and just stare at each other?!! Pls I need to see Punk v cena one last time.
Anyway I probably forgot something here so might add to this theory or change something later if i remember something else or someone points something out to me.
#cm punk#seth rollins#roman reigns#cody rhodes#jey uso#gunther#drew mcintyre#damian priest#royal rumble
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“What did you do?” The hero’s voice was flat, the words sharp like an accusation, though their eyes betrayed a flash of something—hurt? Confusion? It didn’t matter. They didn’t get to act like they were the victim here.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the villain shrugged their shoulders, trying to look as casual as possible. They couldn’t let the hero see how much this was eating at them—how deeply it hurt, even if they wanted to pretend otherwise.
“Don’t be coy.”
“Well, maybe you should be more specific.” The villain grinned, a little too wide, a little too innocent. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“Where is it?”
“Where is what?”
“Your mark,” the hero said through gritted teeth. “It’s gone.”
“Oh. That.” The villain took a step back, glancing at their now-bare wrist, the place where the mark had once been—where their bond to the hero had once lived. “I guess it finally decided to take a vacation. I hope it’s having fun, you know, away from the whole ‘soulmate’ thing.” They paused, letting the words sink in with a mischievous glint in their eyes. “It might’ve needed some space. Some people had real strong opinions about it and they weren’t shy about making their opinions known.”
“For good reason.”
“There’s never a good reason to tell your soulmate to fuck off, you know,” the villains scoffed. “Aren’t all of you goody two shoes supposed to know that? That’s like chapter one on ‘How to be a Decent Human Being’.”
“Not everyone’s soulmate goes around murdering people.”
“Oh yeah, because you’ve never killed a single person in your entire life,” the villain’s voice dripped with sarcasm.
“It’s not the same,” the hero ground out, barely holding back the rage.
The villain crossed their arms, their voice dripping with mock sympathy. “Oh, it’s very much the same. You kill people because they don’t agree with you, and I—” They spread their arms with a slow, mocking flourish, “—do the exact same thing. Only, I’m honest about it. You’re just a hypocrite in shiny armour.”
“You don’t get to compare us,” the hero hissed. “You kill because you like it. I do it to protect people, to stop you.”
The villain let out a short laugh, bitter and sharp. “You really still believe that, don’t you? That you’re the good guy? How precious. We both know you’re just as capable of cruelty as I am.”
“That’s not—” The hero took a deep breath, trying to steady themself. “We’re soulmates. That should mean something.”
“Should it?” The villain raised an eyebrow, their voice laced with venom. “Because it doesn’t feel like it means a damn thing. You never wanted it. I was the one who tried to make peace with it, to accept it. You rejected it. You rejected me.”
The hero’s eyes flickered with a flash of guilt, but they quickly masked it with anger. “You’re a villain. You’re everything I fight against.”
“And you’re the hero, right?” The villain’s lip curled into a sneer. “The shining knight who thinks they have all the answers. Well, guess what? I don’t need your approval. I didn’t need your mark either.”
The hero’s voice was dangerously low. “What did you do?”
The villain gave a dramatic shrug, their hand flapping in a dismissive gesture. “Oh, nothing major. Just broke up with fate. Made a deal with a god, got it erased. No big deal.” They grinned. “You wouldn’t believe the paperwork, though. Gods really need to streamline their processes.”
The hero was silent for a moment, processing what they were hearing. “You… erased it? You got rid of it? You didn’t... you didn’t have to do that.”
“Didn’t I?” The villain tilted their head, letting the sarcasm drip from their words like honey. “Because, from where I was standing, it seemed like you were the one who couldn’t even look at me without trying to burn a hole through my skull. So, yeah, I thought maybe it was time to call it quits. Anyway, funny story about that.” The villain stepped closer, their playful tone still dancing in the air. “You know how they always say soulmates are a gift? So I just walked up to fate and demanded a refund.”
“Stop making jokes about this,” the hero snapped, frustration creeping into their voice. “You don’t just get rid of your soulmate’s mark. That’s… that’s insane.”
“Well, call me insane then.” The villain grinned wider.
The hero narrowed their eyes. “You don’t get it. This was supposed to mean something. We were supposed to mean something.”
The villain’s face flickered with something—something soft, almost sad—before they masked it with another flippant grin. “Oh, trust me, I get it. I’ve always gotten it. You were the one who never wanted this. You were the one who couldn’t even look at me without cringing. At least I gave it a shot. But you? You hated it. You hated the idea of being connected to someone like me.”
“Stop,” the hero said sharply, their frustration mounting. “I never hated you. It wasn’t like that. I just—”
“Couldn’t accept me, right? Yeah, I know. Don’t worry, I get it now.” The villain waved a hand, interrupting them with a grin that was all sharp edges. “I’m a villain. You’re a hero. We’re so star-crossed. Shakespeare would’ve had a field day with us.”
The hero’s face softened for a moment, a flicker of guilt flashing across their features. “I never said that.”
“Oh please.” The villain scoffed, crossing their arms. “You couldn’t even stand being in the same room with me. Every time you looked at me, I saw the disgust in your eyes. I wasn’t your soulmate, I wasn’t even a person to you. All you saw was a villain, a person you had to hate because it made you feel good about yourself.”
The hero was quiet, the accusation hanging in the air. But the villain was already moving on, their playful tone back in full force. “Anyway, it wasn’t like I had much of a choice. I made a deal, and bam! Problem solved. No more mark. No more weird soulmate obligations. No more you looking at me like I’m about to tie you to a chair and spout an evil monologue about world domination.”
The hero clenched their fists, trying to hold onto their temper. “Why didn’t you fight for us?”
The villain’s eyes darkened, the bitterness creeping into their voice again. “Do you really think I didn’t try? Do you think I wanted to be free of you? But I couldn’t do it anymore. The pain of knowing I was nothing to you? The constant reminder of what I could never have?”
“You could’ve fought for it,” the hero argued, their voice shaking with frustration. “For us. I didn’t want this. But I would’ve—I would’ve tried if you had.
The villain’s face hardened, the smile fading. “No, you wouldn’t have. I could see it in your eyes every time you looked at me. You couldn’t even say the word ‘soulmate’ without making a face like I’d just spat in your coffee.”
“You’re pushing me away,” the hero accused.
“Oh, please.” The villain threw their hands up, exasperated but still oddly charming in their annoyance. “I’m not pushing you away. I’m letting you go. There’s a difference. I figured it’d be kinder this way. You’d just end up tying me up and trying to reform me, like some kind of twisted, dysfunctional romance movie. Trust me, we’re better off without each other.”
There was a long silence, the weight of their words sinking in, but the villain was already backing away, their eyes twinkling with a mixture of mischief and something else, something more vulnerable that they didn’t want the hero to see.
The hero stood still, staring at the space where the villain had been, feeling a strange emptiness fill the space between them. The hero wanted to chase them, to argue, to fight for something—anything—but the words stuck in their throat.
“Well, that’s that,” the villain called over their shoulder. “You can go back to your clean, shiny world of righteousness and moral superiority. And I’ll just, you know, keep being the bad guy. No biggie.”
With that, the villain turned and walked away, their footsteps light, but there was a heaviness to their departure that the hero couldn’t ignore.
And as much as they hated to admit it, the hero felt like they’d just lost something they never really had.
#writing prompt#angst#fiction#hero x villain#villain#villain x hero#hero#hero villain dynamics#original#romance#soulmates#soulmate au#angst soulmate au
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write me a story where cameron finally learns chase is allergic to strawberries thank you (you can ignore this ask)
rip to chase if i couldn’t eat strawberries i’d pretend not to care about anything either. anyway set between s3 and s4 (or maybe at the very start of s4 idk whatever. point is they haven’t been together too long)
“I could’ve killed you,” Cameron says, sounding angry and annoyed and not very sorry, but Chase knows it’s all a front; she’d cried in the ambulance, small and scared looking as soon as the EMTs not-so-kindly told her that as a doctor she should know that there was little else they could do between giving him more epi and getting him to the hospital, and he’d wanted to reach out and comfort her, but that had been difficult what with his throat being all swollen up at the time. “I cannot believe you didn’t tell me.”
“I wasn’t going to die, or anything,” Chase protests, because he doesn’t really want to talk about this right now: why he never bothered to sit Cameron down and go by the way, now that we’re sleeping each other regularly can you throw out everything you own that contains strawberry? Because there is a reason—Chase isn’t this cavalier with his health on a daily basis, honest—but it is going to upset her, and the whole reason why Chase never told her was specifically to avoid this kind of fight. There’s no polite way to say I was pretty sure you’d interpret it as a sign of impending commitment and run for the hills, especially now that Cameron is kind of adorably self-conscious about that whole period of their lives. He’s only been dating Cameron for three weeks; on balance, the risk of anaphylaxis is far less deadly than the one to their incredibly fledgling relationship. “I had my Epi-Pen on me.”
Cameron narrows her eyes at him in disgust. “I’m an immunologist,” she starts, preparing, no doubt, to rip into him about how Epi-Pens are a miracle of modern medicine but aren’t actually magic, and how anaphylactic reactions can worsen with repeat exposure, and Chase is actually kind of looking forward to it even though his throat is sore and his head is killing him and his body feels like it’s encased in syrup, because a side effect of the honeymoon phase is that he now finds it incredibly hot when she’s on the warpath, even at him—only she takes a big gulp of breath and she suddenly starts to cry again. Not quiet, terrified tears like the one in the ambulance, but big, rolling, heaving sobs. He’s seen her cry before, usually over patients, but not like this, and it freaks him out a little; Chase extends his IV-free arm towards her and corrals her in so she can rest her cheek on his chest. It’s lucky, he thinks, that they’d been closer to General than PPTH; she’d never let him do this if they were in the ER at Princeton-Plainsboro.
“Allison,” he says into her hair, voice still hoarse, “I’m fine. It was an accident.”
He almost adds this has never happened before—because it hasn’t, usually Chase has to actually ingest something strawberry to provoke a reaction, he’s never had one just from kissing someone until now—but he does, for better or for worse, know exactly how Cameron ticks, and he has a feeling that this won’t be as reassuring as he means for it to be. “I’m sorry,” he says instead, “I promise I’m not allergic to anything else.”
“You better not be,” Cameron huffs. She cranes her neck up to look at him, eyes red and puffy, and says, “You’re banned from my apartment until I can deep clean the kitchen. And the bathroom, and the bedroom. I have strawberry lube that I need to get rid of.”
“There’s probably not any actual strawberry in your lube,” Chase says. Cameron makes as though to thump his chest, then remembers he’s hooked up to an EKG and thinks better of it. “No need to ruin all our fun, is all I’m saying.”
“I’m an immunologist,” Cameron says again, but she doesn’t sob this time—it comes out more as a sigh. “You should’ve told me.”
Chase thinks, idly, of all the times Cameron brought her favourite strawberry cream cheese bagels into work and he’d turned them down—how many times House had raised his eyebrows at the sight, but never bothered to say anything, either. He thinks of Cameron crying in the ambulance. There’s a hazy memory of her suddenly running off as soon as the ambulance parked in the bay, which is strange, and then he realises she smells absurdly strongly of medical grade mint. “You threw up,” he realises, and pets her head clumsily. “You should’ve asked for some Zofran.”
“Don’t be an idiot,” Cameron says. “When you’re better, we’re going to talk about this.” After a moment, she laces her hand with his. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
She says it so nakedly that Chase doesn’t have it in him to fight back about her being mad at him anymore. “Told you I’m fine,” he says drowsily, and then he falls dead asleep.
#house md#asks#allison cameron#robert chase#let’s pretend helen didn’t accurately predict everything i wrote in this fic before i posted it LMAOO
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(I will be redrawing this so she has her dress and is properly on her feet. But I have decided this is why he is doing this)
“You need to stop using that on me.” Lann bemoaned, which made Driz laugh.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She said, clear smile on her voice which told Lann, she knew exactly what he was talking about and denied it fully.
“Ever since I pointed it out, you’ve used it on me and it’s not at all fair, I don’t use it on you.” Lann complained, crossing his arms over his bare chest.
Turning, Driz laughed. “Oh please, like that would work on me.” she claimed, so sure she was right.
Normally Driz was right, but Lann was fairly confident, and his lips slowly turned up into a smirk. “Oh really?” He challenged.
Driz smirked at him right back, clearly thinking she knew what she was talking about. “Absolutely.” She crossed her own arms, daring him with her green eyes to try and prove her wrong.
“Okay, you asked for it.” Lann shook his head, before he swiftly crouched in front of her, and wrapped his arms around her legs, bringing her flush against him. He looked up at her, trying to make his eyes as big as possible, and while she couldn’t see his mouth as her dress kinda hid it from view, there was no mistaking the sad frown he projected.
Instantly her confident demeanor dropped and Driz could not look away, her cheeks flushing and he knew he won, but he waited patiently for her to admit defeat.
Finally Driz managed to break eye contact and looked away with a pout. “Alright I admit you can.” She ground past her teeth.
“What was that?” Lann asked, trying his best not to let the expression fall yet, but it was hard with how much he wanted to grin up at her.
“You got me with the eye thing!” She huffed and refused to meet his eyes again. “Now stop it!”
Chuckling, Lann nuzzled her leg, dropping the big eyed look. “Are you upset I was right for once?”
“You are right more than once in a while.” Driz snapped. “Just thought I wouldn’t fall for it.”
“Ah, so you’re mad that you’re not as strong as you thought, against the look.” Lann laughed. “If it makes you feel better, there are a lot of looks at my disposal you aren’t strong enough to resist.” Driz crossed her arms and refused to meet his gaze still. “You won’t look at me because you know it’s true.”
“Oh quit rubbing it in!” Driz tried to get out of his hold, but he wouldn’t let go. “Lann,” She warned.
“Driz,” He purred. Now he was grinning full force up at her.
There was no doubt in his mind that if she truly wanted him to let her go or was not happy with him, he’d probably feel like he was dying in a split second. But Driz, despite her hurt pride, wasn’t going to hurt him. Though she was hanging onto her frustration a lot longer than he thought was normal. “You’re not actually mad are you?”
Sighing, Driz finally met his eyes. “No, I’m not mad. I just don’t like admitting defeat.” Driz said.
“We’re just having fun, I’m not going to hold it against you.” Lann promised.
“I know… I know.” She closed her eyes, before lowering herself so she was more in his lap. Lann settled them more on the ground, hugging her close. “At least you admit you’re cute.”
“Now wait a minute.” Lann protested, he hadn’t expected that.
“It’s the adorable animal look, you called it that long before I did, and you were so determined to prove you could do it. Therefore you’re admitting you are cute!” Driz was smiling up at him, clearly pushing aside whatever dark mood had taken hold of her.
Lann realized he had played himself and he frowned, closing his eyes with a curse. “Just cause I know how to… oh shush you, I am not adorable. You just have a weird perception of what’s cute.” He grumbled.
“You can try to deny all you want,” Driz poked his cheek and giggled when he growled a little. “I got you to admit you’re cute!”
“Oh yeah, real cute. The ladies can’t get enough of me.” He huffed. It was not like with Driz who had to beat off people with a stick. Lann only ever attracted a few women, and they were all mongrels. Well not counting Driz.
“After the crusade I’ll take you around the world and you’ll see, Mendev is just terrible. I’ll have to start being all possessive.” Driz claimed.
“I’ll believe it when I see it.” Lann muttered.
Giggling, Driz leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’ve made a lot of things you thought couldn’t happen, happen. When are you going to start believing me?”
“You said you could resist me, and I just proved you wrong, showing that you can in fact be wrong sometimes.” Lann countered.
“I never once claimed I was always right!” Driz laughed, leaning more into him. No she didn’t think she was always right. Letting out whatever tension he was holding, he rested his cheek against her, snuggling closer and just feeling content with her in his arms.
doing a more sketchy look cause I'm kinda hating on my linework and cell shading right now so doing something a bit more fun for me.
No idea what Lann is asking for here, but Driz is just as bad as he is saying no the other. Also Driz is in her dressed down outfit cause I didn't wanna make her wear a dress and cover up a bunch of the details here.
Also I got some better reference images for Lann's in game model so hopefully this will help keep his look more consistent.
#knight commander#fantasy#oc#lann#drizzerey#pathfinder wotr#pathfinder wrath of the righteous#art#my art#digital#fanart#wotr#romance#lann x drizzaris#lann x knight commander#lann x oc#fanfic#bit#puppy dog eyes
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Week 50 - March 10th, 2024 'Hold On Loosely' - 38 Special Spotify / YouTube
If you recognize this one then you aren’t crazy, because this is pulled from a photo shoot of Ewan McGregor where he was absolutely young and without a care. Perfect padawan Obi-Wan material.
Enjoy!
#not me almost forgetting to post#guess that’s what is happens when you’re on a 32 hour road trip XD#we’re having fun though so this feels right#also it’s been so long since I tried boarders like this#might try bringing em back sometimes#obi wan kenobi#fanart#star wars#my art#week 51
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hey siri how do I stop feeling gutwrenchingly anxious in the guilt way for using the treatment methods available to me to not be in constant misery
#starlight personal#it’s very bizarre to have my life going objectively well - work is good! personal life is good! family is good!#and still be very mentally ill and feel like I’m faking it even though I know damn well I ain’t scream-sobbing every couple of days alone in#my apartment for attention because What Attention??? my cat????? Bug is never moved by my tears she cares only for string and wires#like I know that cannabis has been immensely helpful to getting me to fucking sleep on a regular schedule and that’s integral to -#my functioning and I know that having emergency klonopin in the event of a total breakout is helpful#and I KNOW that my PMDD and depression and anxiety are very treatment resistant and ketamine is the only thing that’s provided any -#meaningful relief and logically I know I’m not abusing any of these#I’m getting a promotion at work I still go out to see friends regularly I have hobbies I have a girlfriend (??? Wild right)#like clearly these things are working because i’m better now than i was for years leading up to now#SO LIKE. DON’T STOP USING THE THINGS THAT HELP. LOGICALLY THIS MEANS THESE ARE GOOD FOR ME#I always roll my eyes when ppl go off their meds b/c they’re feeling better like babes that’s what the meds are meant to do#if you stop taking them you stop feeling better - but it’s REALLY HARD to get past the cultural conditioning#the feeling that ‘but I can white knuckle my way through this I can force myself to live without’ like WHY BITCH#WE DON’T HAVE TO LIVE WITHOUT#AND ALSO. WE’RE STILL GENERALLY MISERABLE BRO. EVEN WITH OUR LIFE IN A BETTER PLACE!!!#DO YOU NOT THINK THIS MEANS THAT WE SHOULD USE WHAT WE KNOW WORKS TO BE LESS MISERABLE#basically it’s really hard to not feel like a loser when the only things that help are ‘fun’ drugs like weed and psychedelics#I feel like I’m being a hedonistic reprobate which 1) is actually kinda cool now that I wrote it out#2) @ myself were not a good enough liar-faker that every medical professional we see wouldn’t pick up on that if that was our motivation#time to remind myself that it’s arrogant to think I could trick many trained professionals without actively trying tbh#that generally helps me get out of my self-pitying ‘ohhhhh I’m awful and lazy and bad and abusing substances’ spiral#to be very mentally ill on main it is weirdly reassuring to be like ‘just as my fanon interpretation of obi wan kinda hates himself but is -#practical enough to take care of himself even when it makes him cringe and want to scratch his face off; I too am aware that self-care is -#radical and punk and In Fact Necessary to beat back the dark and live in the light with hope so yes even though I doubt and -#feel squiggly and guilty about it I’m not going to NOT prioritize my health and well-being b/c self-hatred and self-denial benefits no one’#thank you inner obi wan i love projecting my issues onto you mwah mwah mwah smooches for my favorite boy!!!!!#and smooches for me I’m going to be proud of myself gosh darn it even if I have to fake it at first#see I wouldn’t be able to be nice to myself like this if I hadn’t been doing ketamine treatment for a year IT WORKS BRO KEEP IT UP#SCHEDULE THE DAMN APPOINTMENT AND CLEAN YOUR BONG
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Nothing like some light substance abuse to really make you feel like a child again
#me sitting in my room shaking in silence after turning all my lights off quickly and locking my bedroom door and holding my breath as my#mother turns the light on outside to let the dog out and the light between the blinds comes pouring into my rook#on the carpet I see her shadow as she walks past#minutes feel like hours as I wait for her to sulk away back to her cave. I open my bedroom door to sneak away to the bathroom and the light#from the kitchen is visible in the hallway. this feels like a personal attack when you’re a child sneaking around in the late hours. it#feels like we’re two mountain lions claiming territory in this house and you are cornering me in my bedroom just like when I was a child#I am typing this from under three blankets layered over each other to hide the light from my screen (with reduced white point) just in case#my mother walks outside near my window or near my bedroom door.#I feel so connected to my childhood self right now. sitting in the dark room with the only light coming from one window with the blinds draw#n. just the outline of each individual blind. and the light pouring in from under a locked bedroom door. if she knocks you have to answer.#if you don’t answer she will unlock it herself. locks never meant privacy in my home. I remember that clearly.#there was a lock on my childhood bedroom in my house in Maine. locked from the outside not the inside. they could lock me in but I couldn’t#lock anyone out. to be fair I had a habit of getting up in the middle of the night sneaking to the kitchen and eating slices of processed#individually wrapped cheese slices while watching horrifying shows like oobi and the fucking one with the band of four ppl they were all a#different colored instrument#idk anyways. there was a lock on my bedroom on the outside and I remember waking up in the morning before anyone else and playing in my room#and reading and waiting for like a half an hour every morning for someone to wake up and decide they had the energy to come deal with me#so that’s fun. undiagnosed adhd core.#coming out of whatever high trance I just had where I was connected to all of that childhood terror of being seen by my mother. I was afraid#of being caught even though I was doing nothing wrong. I was constantly afraid of something I did not have any reason to be afraid of.#it felt like at any moment I could be wrong place wrong timed with my mother and suddenly feel like the worst person ever. and I’m sure that#demanded a lot of attention and made her pull away from dealing with me I mean she had just lost her job and was running her own business#now and she was stressed and broke and trying to keep it together and I’m sure I was running around under her feet or my brother and I were#arguing but idk I just feel like I don’t remember anything from my childhood and what I do remember is being afraid of everything and is#that some emotional thing or is that just I have been anxious my entire life and no one cared until I was literally trying to kill my sled#self fucking autocorrect#anyways.#I think my mother has gone to bed so I’m going to slink into my own bathroom and maybe throw up a little 👍 I am excited to see what the fuck#I wrote here when I reread it tomorrow
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#I know I have seasonal affective disorder#and I know winter depression me is the worst version of me#I Know#and I hate her more than any of you do I promise#but every time I say something dark and someone goes ‘it’s November/december though. you don’t really mean that’#it makes me want to hit them with a bat#I don’t own a bat. and on top of that I’m a pacifist so obviously I will not#but I know what time do year it is! I’ve known it’s coming since September because that’s when my brain chemistry notably changes#because like . I do mean it. in this moment I mean it deeply and it Scares Me so can we take it seriously rather than say oh it’s just SAD!!#and I’m scared out of my mind so to go dismiss it as ‘just’ a winter thing is so patronising and it makes me SO mad#like trust me …… I’m aware we’re being dramatic because of circadian rhythms#but that doesn’t make it less terrifying or real in the moment#extra bat hitting tendencies @ my mum who simply says ‘okay try and be calmer’#NEVER IN THE HISTORY OF ANYBODY EVER HAS THAT WORKED#idk man everything feels bleak and unsafe and terrifying and Heavy and I’m not much fun to be around at all right now#but I mostly don’t enjoy being in my own company in these months which makes me want to retreat even further because why put that grey cloud#on my friends?#and it’s bad usually but it’s even Worse this year after surgery recovery and if I’m honest burn out and a full ptsd meltdown-recovery#was supposed to go back to work after this weekend but started crying just at the idea and told the company doctor and thank God#she said that I should just recover mentally too now and come back after the holidays#but bro ………….. there’s too much going on and I’m Stuck i’m just Frozen in pure fucking full blown Fear#it hasn’t been this bad since 2020 which . ha ha ha ha#anyways . reminders that things will lighten up in the spring: sure yes#discrediting what I say as ‘you don’t mean that because it’s winter’#start running :)
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Why is it when I always want to do something cool is when I have fiddy assignments due tomorrow night
#SPOWTS#like I wanna actually write that fucking hfjone tlou fic I’ve been trying to revamp and listen to more and fucking MOVE#but no I have other shit to do#and the thing is is that I physically cannot do anything else until these assignments are done#I will feel empty if they’re not done#and procrastinate when I stop because I remember what it’s like to have fun again#Saturdays aren’t really part of the weekend for me anymore more than it is an extension to get shit done#Sundays are usually the one day I get off but it goes by too fast and that’s assuming I get everything done by Sat night even though#I’ve been working on this stuff since Friday night#AND I’m sick so I decided to stay home ONE day instead of forcing myself to go to school#and I fall behind by so much or I simply don’t understand the work we’re doing by the next day#a never ending cycle#I’ve been tired all day yet I cannot sleep nor take that coughing medicine (which makes me fall asleep) because of all of this#it’s sad#but it’s my own little hell#I’ll probably never escape#but eh#survive till summer right?#is this a vent#I think it’s a vent#sorry gang will shut up now
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I take overstimulation extremely seriously just so we’re all aware.
Most I’ve ever made a guy cum was 27 times in one session and all of those happened in the span of about 5-10 minutes
Got him really warmed up and started fucking him with a dildo while I alternated between whispering in his ear, biting his neck, playing with his chest etc. After only a minute or two he shyly muttered out that he was going to cum. I stopped, stared directly at him and we had this brief, telling moment of eye contact before he got so embarrassed he had to turn away. We both knew he was under the impression he couldn’t cum without touching his dick and the fact he almost just did was so fucking hot to me.
I pinned his leg over my shoulder and continued. Within a minute he was back to how he was before, just on the verge and I kept moving it while he shook beneath me. Finally let up after he came all over my hand and I asked if he’d cum sarcastically to make fun of how obvious and hard it was and he just whimpered out “… I came twice”
He absolutely should not have told me this because as soon as I knew making him cum over and over was on the table I was determined to go as far as I possible could, and hearing him say two like that was addictively cute. I Pinned him even more and continued, told him to count every time he cums before quickly getting back into it.
27 times I made this very masc dude cum. 27!
Didn’t even think that was a possible number. Every 15-30 seconds I’d feel him tense up and clench on the dildo then I’d hear his little chocked voice murmur out a number before I kept going. He made a giant fucking mess, squirting basically each time in the beginning. I kept moving the goal post further and further, “come on let’s just get to 10 puppy!”, “I think we could do 15 don’t you?”, “Whoops that was a 16th one, well we might as well get to twenty, right?”. He was fully trembling, shaking, crying. His eyes were in constant state of being rolled back and the noises he was making were so intense. The best part was hearing him count though, it was the only coherent thing he would say and he struggled to get out each number but if he didn’t count I’d start choking him.
Hearing a grown man moan out “25” or whatever ridiculous number we were on has to be one of the hottest things I’ve experienced. I would have kept going forever but he was begging and pleading for me to stop and for some reason I don’t think he believed that I’d really let him be done at 30
He was a complete fucking mess after as you’d imagine. Basically just sat there in a daze for 10 minutes but I made sure to make fun of him. I mean 27? Really? Just an embarrassingly high number. He also physically couldn’t handle any play for like several days after this so safe to say I throughly worked him out.
I guess now my goal in life will be to get someone to 30
#trans nsft#mtf dom#t4t nsft#mtf nsft#ftm nsft#ftm ns/fw#ftm sub#ftm puppy#t4t petpl@y#overstim kink#overstim nsft#gooobraghhh text
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why am I alive. right now. tbh.
#oughhhhhhhhh kms.#we’re going to the aquarium to day v fun ^_^#I feel horrible. But it’s ok 👍 it’s all ok.#we are going to have so much fun and not think about my 100 midterms in a 5 day period#and then come back. And study.#I am really feeling the u of tears. Actually.#at least I have friends …?#(I think if I didn’t have a friend. I wouldn’t be as stressed and pressed 4 time)#(but I like having friendssss my friends are coooool …#and prettyyyyy….. and funnyy.. and awesome… so far. I have only known these ppl 4 a month.)#(though we do be saying goodnight every night right before bed. We do live together essentially.)#(so closer than one would think after a month but still a month. . but they’re cooool!!)#Incredible though that I got meself the neurodivergent friend group immediately. And then got clocked as autistic.#^_^ that’s cool. i kind of wish my friends weren’t as pretty (cough just the one model guy cough i feel like I can’t look at him sometimes)#is ok though. Ok goodbye every pony I will. Get up and at em now. ugh.
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