#we’re all still family
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
hey im following up on your "lesbians and genderweird people" post.
do you also include people that are men as a part of their multi-gender expression? say a bigender person that is a woman and a man at once?
idk im probably thinking about it too hard but im just trying to wrap my head around it. just looking for straight (hah) answers about specifics. which i also see is a little futile cause gender is weird.
sorry if this line of questioning is uncomfortable to you.
anw i hope you have a good time and happy pride
thank you for actually asking haha instead of just jumping to big sweeping conclusions! 😅🥴
also happy pride! 🌈🧡💜
honestly i don’t know any bi-gender people! at least i don’t think i do haha i don’t ask every person i meet the details of their gender. so i don’t feel comfortable making any claims about them especially big sweeping claims.
to me, i cannot envision being comfortable being into someone that is aligned with manhood, in whatever way or terms they choose to use. for me, if I was, I would need to seriously consider whether the label Lesbian is accurate for me.
I think if someone is encountering this in their relationship, they should navigate it on an interpersonal level. by that I mean, figure out the labels and how to handle it as an individual for yourself and with the bi-gender or multi-gender person. Instead of on a like macro level “let’s define what Lesbian means” sort of deal.
I don’t believe that when talking about “Lesbianism can include attraction to nonbinary people” I am saying every nonbinary person. I’m saying it can include some nonbinary people. those who are cool with it and it makes sense for! not every person is gonna be okay with it, or does it make sense for, of course. nonbinary or genderweird or whatever term, they are very broad umbrellas and describe a wide variety of gender experiences.
It’s also important to keep in mind that people can describe their experiences for themselves. Different people are going to define their labels in different ways, sometimes in ways we disagree with. It’s important to be able to differentiate someone describing their own experience and defining things for themselves and defining a term broadly for everyone. And I mean this when seeing what other people are saying and also to keep in mind for oneself.
Hope this answers what you were asking and is helpful and makes sense! Also, remember that this is just my opinion and my position. I’m not like declaring this as a universal truth, I’m not the president of the lesbians lol. different lesbians will define their lesbianism for themselves. I can handle that even if I vehemently disagree lol
#ask farmer lesbian#mod alfalfa#anonymous#🥴🥴🥴#i don’t understand why some people are so upset about all this#it’s really not that wild to say lesbians are sometimes into people that do not fit in the binary#and also lesbians aren’t into men. period.#idk why that is so upsetting to hear …#sapphic and bi and queer and pan and wlw and gay and probably more!#are all great and beautiful terms and communities#i love all my rainbow family#we’re all still family
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking about the way ghost doesn't hesitate to start killing shadows when graves betrays them but soap only takes one hostage
you can almost hear the voice in his head telling him it doesn't have to be this way; they can still talk it out
"i'm calling shepherd"
his first instinct when confronted with betrayal is to play it by the books: to go up the chain. that goes against everything we've seen him do. he bucks authority at every chance except for the one time he's confronted with the barrels of his allies' guns
he wants a peaceful resolution; for the first time we've ever seen, he doesn't want violence to be the answer. there has to be another fix, a solution that doesn't end with him killing the same men he's been working with; his friends
nothing's happened yet
it doesn't have to go this way
but ghost has been betrayed before. he knows the way this ends; either with him six feet under or his enemy
he doesn't hesitate
it's only when they knock alejandro out that soap shoots; when they spill the first blood and cross a line they can never come back from
only when ghost orders him to run and he has to cover his retreat
and somewhere along the line, between civilians’ screams and taunting voices, between his shaking breath and ghost steady in his ear, that naivety is stripped away; his trust turned to teeth that he uses to sink into throats of men he'd have given his life for
"be careful who you trust, sergeant; people you know can hurt you the most"
he's learned the price of trust
just like ghost did
but unlike ghost, he has someone to guide him through the aftermath
"good advice, It"
#im gonna add these to my notfics on ao3 i think i have a Lot of these floating around#a bit shorter than my other metas but i think its something that gets missed when people talk about alone#soap is a violent man#his career literally trains him to shoot first ask questions later#and yet he still tries his best to avoid blood when faced with betrayal#and you realise it actually does fit him#soap cares about the men he serves with#he wants to save the men at the crash site he checks on a downed soldier he asks about civilians about alejandros family#hes very tuned into the people around him#and he cant turn that off until hes forced to#until graves gives him a reason to hate him#and all of that previous care and consideration goes out the window#‘makes me want to commit a few war crimes of my own’#dont cross soap#you want like what happens if you do#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#talk meta to me#soap cod#john soap mactavish#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#ghoap#ghostsoap#soapghost#meta#phillip graves#graves cod#save post
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Prompt:
Jason keeps accidentally drawing parallels between his running away to Ethiopia and getting killed.
He leaves a note saying he‘ll be back soon? Three terrified bats AND a supe crashing through the roof of a 7/11.
Casually mentioning he‘ll be going overseas to check up on a lead? Surprise! Nightwing‘s going the same way! What a coincidence!
Jason pushes someone off the roof? “Don’t worry Jaylad, I know it was an accident!!!!”
The next gig takes place at an abandoned warehouse? “Explosives whomst?? No, Jason, of course I didn’t scout the area beforehand. Don’t be absurd. Your bombs?? Oh, those were yours?”
Look, it’s not that Jason doesn’t appreciate a demonstration of how much they care. But he’s getting seriously fed up with the level of overprotectiveness everyone’s displaying.
Although, in retrospect, he could have handled this whole thing better than having an open spat with Bruce and then disappearing on them for two months straight. Oops.
(In his defense, Kori got them cards for a once-in-life-time-space-opera.)
#prompt#still stuck in the hospital and I need something to giggle at rn#and what’s better for it than some batfam crack#Jason did not think that last one through#that stunt was not worth Bruce having a genuine and full blown meltdown#also can someone please explain why everyone’s got contingency plans for Nightwing on display?#what do you mean you haven’t slept for a week Tim?#WGAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR’RE LEGALLY A ROGUE NOW!?#Kori I need you to extend our space trip-#Kori: hell no you’re on your own bye#Kori: Roy get Biz and then we’re outta here#Kori: we’ll check back next year if earth still exists#Alfred: … I take it I can store the guns back in their appropriate places?#Jason: ????????????????#jason todd#batfamily#dick grayson#bruce wayne#batfam#robin#tim drake#red hood#unhinged family#protective#I snuck a teeny tiny amount of implied superbat in here#because Clark has adopted all the bat children sorry I don’t make the rules
870 notes
·
View notes
Text
Stranger Things x Breakfast Club AU (part ?)
#hopper is Vernon in this AU because damn them kids#billy is obviously Bender cause I mean#duh#Steve is Claire cause he’s princess s1 Steve who’s constantly trying to fit in and impress everyone#and then we get to the others#and we’re changing it up#cause we know the breakfast club explores the different challenges teens face#and tries to stereotype them etc#just hear me out cause I haven’t fully fleshed it out#but Jonathan is the weirdo quiet kid who billy mostly leaves alone because he isn’t pretending to be someone else#and Jonathan’s at home problems are his daddy issues and the (sometimes extreme) overprotectiveness of joyce#Robin is here#she’s GAY GAY GAY#I’m still trying to figure out her problems at home#something that causes her to make fun of people/push them away as a defence mechanism#and then there’s Nancy#who’s so afraid of becoming her mother#who everyone thinks is in a happy nuclear family#but she knows it’s all bullshit#and she’s so worried she’s gonna end up like that too#anyway#those are my rough hcs for this AU#my art#doodle of the day#stranger things#billy hargrove#traditional art#Jonathan byers#Jim hopper#breakfast club au
414 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m rewatching Labyrinth and I already know I’m going to make this about Tim Drake.
Bruce gets Damian as a baby, and makes Tim watch him while he goes out on the more dangerous missions.
Tim throws a fit and says the whole ‘Ugh, I wish someone would just take you far away from me!’ bit and then League assassins kidnap Damian.
Tim tracks down Ra’s and threatens him and Ra’s tells him, “Ah, but Detective… I’m doing you a favor. I heard you, you know. Just think how much better life will be when you don’t have to worry about taking care of my grandson.”
“…I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I really need my brother back.”
Ra’s stares at him for a few moments. “How disappointing. I suppose you’ll just have to find him, then.”
And that’s the last thing Tim remembers before waking up in the labyrinth. He walks forward for a few moments before he sees a figure training with a sword in a courtyard.
The figure turns and Tim spots bright green eyes and a streak of white in a head of black.
“Oh, Replacement. It’s you.”
#I don’t want to make Jason the coward but it’s really funny like that:(#I suppose you could probably change his motive from cowardice to revenge but w/e#The Bog of Eternal Stench=The Pit and it’s the only thing Jay is scared of#and instead of ‘we’re friends’ it’s ’we’re family’ and I cry#it could also be Dick as Sarah and Jason as Toby#idk who would take Jason but I guess it could still just be jareth with no explanation#oh yea the joker exists#then you could have the fun rogues be all the little miscellaneous characters#I think Penguin would make a good Worm#Croc is Ludo#and the Riddler could be Sir Didymus !#although if it’s dick and Jason Didymus is really giving dami vibes#dcu#batfam#batman#fanfiction#tim drake#damian wayne#ra’s al ghul#bruce wayne#red robin#dc robin#dick grayson#jason todd#red hood#shut up grandpa#I always write way too much in the tags but they don’t fit in the post:(
100 notes
·
View notes
Text
Age of Calamity is such a funny game when you think about it because most of the characters go through Events and use their strengths and suffer hardships and stuff, but honestly they mostly end the game the same as they started it. It’s not “bad storytelling” or anything to have most of the main characters (Link, the Champions, Impa, etc) not change very much character-growth wise, I’m not insinuating that. They’re heroes and it’s fun to watch them BE heroes and in some cases have nice heartfelt moments together, etc.
But it’s just hilarious to me that the characters in the game who DO get some form of character development arc are:
3. King Rhoam (a distant third place but he does realize his kid’s interests were helpful not frivolous and he apologizes and lets her continue leading the army and fights by her side)
2. Zelda (expected, she is the main character after all, and she gets to grow from doubting herself based on her father’s words and how special and talented everyone around her seems to be in comparison, and being upset at not being able to help more, to realizing her worth as a capable leader whose love and passions were what saved everyone)
1. MASTER FUCKIN KOHGA (goes from trying to peace out and let his lackeys take care of every fight, to desperately NOT wanting to leave Sooga and the others behind (poorly and obviously hiding it behind “come on stick together so you can protect me!” while he as the PC for your first play of that mission is clearly doing all the work to protect them); ends up not only joining Zelda’s faction to protect/get revenge for his Clan despite his hereditary beef with the royal family, but PERSONALLY taking to the battlefield including in the final deadly dangerous missions; declares during that final battle that HE is gonna “send that giant menace packing,” ie the very same monstrous entity he previously served)
Like. It’s not even close. Master “Top Banana” “Kill You All To Death” Kohga. Has THE most character development in the game.
And it’s just. So unexpected and therefore great and entertaining to me.
#kidk says stuff#legend of Zelda#age of calamity#master kohga#yiga clan#age of calamity spoilers#I am insane about him sure but I still believe I’m objectively correct#some of the others (yunobo & riju come to mind) get small ‘gains more confidence in abilities’ moments#link is a very fun protagonist and ALL the characters are my favorites BUT#if we’re talking ARCS…yeah#this isn’t even considering headcanons—this is all in the literal text of the game#ps to be clear I’m NOT saying ‘Kohga has character development bc he ends up siding with Zelda/hyrule’s royal family’#I’m saying he has character development bc he ends up against Ganon for the safety of the clan and isn’t a coward about it#they’re not the same thing#I have complex feelings/headcanons about the clan’s allegiances but this isn’t the time for that!!
227 notes
·
View notes
Text
People will look at a character who doesn’t have family/parents or their family/parent(s) die early and be all “look how TRAGIC and MEANINGFUL it makes their NARRATIVE, it’s so MOTIVATING” but no as a writer listen to me. It’s usually because we’re lazy. And accounting for a bunch of family dynamics is a lot of extra work that is keeping us from just getting on with the Adventure and/or Smooches. I am scolding us as a community for this behavior.
#River rambles#nightblogging#this is me complaining at all of us#And the fact we have way fewer examples of media showing how to write good family dynamics#Because we’re all LAZY#And instead of doin’ the work we just kill everybody off!#LOOK AT MY HORDE OF PARENTLESS CHILDREN#Tbf it’s important to the plot#But I AM going to figure out whose families are still alive and I will NOT pretend forever that they dont have them!!!#It will be hard but DOGGONIT IT MUST BE DONE!!!#To break the cursed cycle!!!!!#Writing#writeblr#conveniently an orphan
176 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fun times at the family game night 🥰
[More incorrect quotes with the gang here, now as a masterlist i just made because why not]
#monopoly bringing families together since 1935#yes i know that sentence doesn’t really work within the star wars universe but i do not care i’m saying it anyway#i don’t think i’ve ever actually made it to the end of a single monopoly game i’ve ever played#probably because none of us ever really know the rules and we’re just making shit up as we go#and because all of us are too scared to take any risks because it would just end with everyone upset with everyone and everything#i could see just the entire bad batch being sore losers#they all would probably still throw the game to let omega win because none of them want to make her sad#i would also throw for omega to be fair#not that i could beat her in the first place#she could and would absolutely kick my ass in monopoly#star wars#star wars the bad batch#star wars bad batch#the bad batch#bad batch#tbb#the bad batch fanart#bad batch fanart#tbb fanart#crosshair#echo#tech#omega#hunter#wrecker#the clone wars#star wars fanart#art#incorrect quotes#my art
653 notes
·
View notes
Text
After hanging out with Sirius’ little brother for a few months now - sometimes the three of them but more and more just the two of them - James first realizes he’s in love with Regulus on a summer night with cheeks warm from sunburn and sweet red wine. They’re on an old leather couch at a party Sirius is throwing at the Potter’s beach house, and Regulus rests his head on James’ shoulder with a deep, heavy sigh. Absolutely plastered, he mutters in defeat, “I think I’m now ready to admit that I’ve probably missed my chance at becoming a mermaid.” James wants to laugh until his stomach cramps, wants to kiss him on his peeling lips and point out that Regulus turns 21 in just one week, what does he mean he’s willing to admit this now, but instead he shrugs lightly and rests his head on Regulus’. He says in that cocky voice of his that makes far too many people swoon, “You’d be the prettiest mermaid of them all” and Regulus would roll his eyes even though James couldn’t see, he’d bury his head further into James’ neck, and tell him “Yeah, James, obviously”.
And then a week would pass, the morning of Regulus’ 21st birthday, and he’d wake up before anyone else and sneak out of the house for his morning run. Sometimes on the really hot days, like the day of his 21st birthday, he’d cool off in the ocean before walking back to the house, the walk long enough to let the sun dry him a bit.
Except this time was different.
Regulus runs and jumps into the ocean, does a few slow strokes atop the rolling waves, then promptly begins to scream bloody murder in the blink of an eye; his legs have become so heavy it’s as if an overweight adult man is clinging to him. He twists and turns his body, lifts his cement legs up to see what the fuck is going on, freezes, starts drowning, then screams even as his mouth fills with saltwater.
Where his legs are supposed to be - where they used to be - there is now a beautiful emerald mermaid tail with scales that glitter tiny rainbows like the polish on his finger nails.
A mile away, the split second Regulus screams the first time, James wakes from a deep slumber with a gasp so sharp it throws him into a coughing fit. He drinks from the glass of water on his bedside table and grabs his phone before leaning back onto the fluffy pillows, pulling up his messages to text the birthday boy.
(7:02am) Happy birthday Reggie!!!! 21 WOOHOO!!!!!
(7:03am) Are u back from ur run?? Do u want blueberry or chocolate chip pancakes?
(7:04am) Had the craziest dream last night. Need to tell u all about it over some Potter Pancakes(;
(7:26am) Reggie??
(7:38am) Sirius said u never came back from ur run is everything okay???
(7:41am) Ur freaking me out Reg can u pls respond
(7:55am) Wherever u are: STAY THERE
(7:55am) I’m coming to find u. Call me when u see these, pls pls please
(8:06am) Where the fuck are you, Regulus?????
#anyways this got out of hand#and now I want to write it why would I do this to myself#AAAAAAAAAH#james potter#regulus black#jegulus#starchaser#jeggy#mermaid au#mermaid curse that runs in the family but skips generations and is activated on your 21st birthday#spoiler alert: james finds regulus#spoiler alert part two: for a very long time james is the only one that regulus shares this side of himself with#they’re so in love#james thinks it’s so fucking cool to the point his excitement makes regulus giggle like a school girl#he starts buying things in the exact same color as regulus’ tail#sirius is like ummm that sure is a lot of green#and james is like actually I don’t think it’s nearly enough#this was inspired by an idea that james realizes he’s madly in love with regulus when he says something as stupid as#I guess I really WONT be a mermaid#because let’s be honest we’ve all been there#let’s be SUPER honest and admit we’re all actually still holding out hope#mermaid regulus
56 notes
·
View notes
Text
One thing about Crosshair is that he’s a remarkably intelligent man with a good read of people and situations and emotionally wrecked life decision-making skills. Dude will have some truly perceptive insight into whatever’s happening that hits on a grain of truth, and then that insight will be filtered through so many layers of trauma and cynicism that his conclusion will end up at least 90 degrees off whatever’s right.
#for instance: the end of season one#from his perspective it was completely reasonable to assume the batch just didn’t care#and that the empire would be around for a long time#and that they were too strong to fight#so the safest thing would be to just stay a part of it#and to invite the people he loved to be a part of it too#in order to protect them#like it’s still wrong because he doesn’t have all the information#and doesn’t want to think about what the empire is#but there is a rationality to it#it’s not completely unreasonable from his point of view#unreasonable is when he invites his family to the apocalypse#to sell them the world’s worst action proposal#and thinks that it will work#and not come across as the most unhinged series of things he ever says#‘you weren’t loyal to me’ <—guy has a point#‘we’re not like the regs. we never have been. we’re superior’<—Crosshair stop I don’t even think you genuinely believe that#man has never made a life choice with his thinking brain in his life#and I love that for him#he’s messy and complicated and it’s GREAT#and I’m still waiting to see him really at peace
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
Duke in the Reverse!Robins AU be like…
”Eldest daughter syndrome? What eldest daughter syndrome? Nah, just because I’m the oldest does not mean I have eldest daughter syndrome. Sure, I’ve had to mediate between Damian & Bruce, or Steph & Bruce, or help certain Titans find a middle ground, but that’s just being a good leader. And yeah, I’m protective of the younger kids, but that’s just what any responsible adult in my position would do.”
*finds out one of the members of his team has such bad civilian trauma they need to straight-up quit hero work*
“Oh shit… I fucked this up. I was too focused on my own problems, how the fuck did I miss this? Okay, okay. I was already burning out trying to juggle being Gotham’s only daytime hero and single-handedly leading the Titans. I need to pick one. And find some way to make it up to Grant. Jesus fuck, how did I miss this…”
*Tim becomes Cass’s apprentice. Steph & Cass start arguing more often. Steph has her biggest fight with Bruce yet. Steph goes missing.*
*Steph dies*
“After that fight with Bruce, no one backed her up. She didn’t know anyone was supporting her. She died thinking none of us were on her side. If any one of us had actively taken her side, instead of getting distracted with our own messes, maybe this wouldn't have happened. Oh, but am I really expecting Damian or Bruce to be intelligent about feelings? Am I really expecting tact from Cass? I know them too well; it should’ve been me, shouldn’t it? I can’t believe I managed to fuck up worse than I did with Grant…”
*Luna gets taken away*
“Look at what you’ve done, Bruce! Look what you’ve fucking done! You’re tearing this family apart! We all promised to look out for her if anything happened to Steph, and you’re just going to force every single one of us to break those promises?! You’re going to rip away the last piece of Steph we had?!? Look at Dami & Cass! Look at them! You did this!”
*finds out Damian’s training for Tim to be Shadow uses all the LoA techniques he refused to use for Steph, making it borderline-through-outright abusive, almost certainly to try to drive Tim off by making him too miserable to continue*
“I. I can’t fucking believe this. I can’t… I can’t believe it took me so long to realize. Damian, nobody is happy about this, but fuck you. I thought you were trying to be better, you absolute fucking asshole! And I… I don’t even have the excuse of not knowing half of the involved parties this time, or being away, or too busy, I was just looking away because I didn’t want to think about Tim taking Steph’s mantle. I should’ve fucking stopped this the first time Tim came back from Bludhaven. God fucking dammit, how do I keep failing the kids in my care in the same fucking way, over & over again?!”
*was all the way at the other end of the room & looking in the wrong direction to have enough forewarning to actually save Tim from being shot*
“I… I… I… I’m literally the only person who could’ve fucking stopped this. I have all the training, all the abilities, but I went to refill my punch glass, and now Timmy might never walk again. I mean, absolutely blame the asshole who pulled the trigger, but Tim & I were in the same fucking room. Who would even put a hit out on Tim Wayne? There’s no way Tim doesn’t know who’s behind this, but he won’t tell me because he doesn’t trust me, because of course he doesn’t! Look at my track record! When it matters most, I let down the people I love. My parents, Grant, Steph, Tim…”
*Jason becomes Shadow.*
*The Tower fight happens.*
*Jason gets kidnapped by the Joker.*
*Bruce “dies,” and Jason runs away to have the Red Robin arc.*
*Dick only begrudgingly puts up with Duke because Duke’s rather overbearing expressions of protectiveness support are not meshing well with Dick’s “stuck on anger til I personally catch my parents’ murderer” issue*
“…If anyone needs me, I’ll be screaming in the closet.”
#*vibrating in place*#Hey you ever think about how the ability to see the future but being limited by his literal field of vision means Duke probably blames#himself for every hit anyone under his protection ever takes? Especially when he’s physically close by? You ever think about how a fraction#of a second can make all the difference and Duke doesn’t have superhuman speed or reflexes but still feels like he has to protect everyone?#You ever think about how fast a bullet travels vs how fast the human brain can react to stimuli vs how fast a human body can move?#You ever think about Duke watching in slow motion as someone he cares about suffers grievous injury just a little too fast & far away for#Duke to do anything about it?#…#*cough*#anyway#yeah Reverse!Robins Duke has just a bit of a complex about not being there for people when they need him. Also an Atlas complex#(but we’re not talking about that right now)#//#duke thomas#reverse!robins#reverse robins AU#reverse robins#reverse order robins#reverse order batkids#reverse batkids#reverse batfam#reverse batfamily#batfamily#bat family#batfam#bat fam#reverse titans
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
(cw non-sexual kink, cis male tiddy sucking)
nikolai takes one look at ghost - at the stiffness he holds himself with, arms held rigidly at his sides as he glares ahead, each breath carefully measured to make himself unnoticed - and knows it’s been too long since he’s checked on his boy
all it takes is a single look, catching his bruised and tired eyes, and ghost all but slumps. nikolai turns, heading towards the 141’s private rec room and he doesn’t need to hear the near-silent footsteps to know ghost’s following. he pulls him down onto the couch, bringing him into the circle of his arms even as he weakly tries to pull away
“don’t need it, nik; don’t have time…” ghost argues but it’s hollow at best
“hush, sweet one,” he soothes his halfhearted protests and thumbs his mask up above his lips. “always so nervous; so lost...”
he tugs his shirt up, showing off his belly and the heavy swell of his hairy pecs; nipples already pebbled. he cups the back of ghost’s head, his thumb brushing over his exposed jaw and ghost is helpless to follow as he gently leads him to latch onto his breast
“i have you,” he promises
no matter how big he is, in presence or in stature, nikolai is bigger; encompassing his whole body in warmth and safety, the familiar scent of cologne and motor oil filling his senses just as the heat of his tit fills his mouth
ghost’s eyes roll back and he nuzzles deeper into his chest, sinking into him and lets his mind empty as he suckles
-
soap didn’t mean to. he didn’t mean to walk in on something not meant for his eyes. he just wanted to check on ghost; he’s been so distant lately, different from his usual bad days and he doesn’t know how to help him but that doesn’t mean he isn’t going to try
but he didn’t mean for this; for guilt and a heated, confused want to chase through him as he enters the rec room and realises nikolai got to ghost first
realises they’re not just necking on the couch; that ghost’s lips are pressed tight to nikolai’s furred breast and not moving away, a gentle hollow thinning his exposed cheeks as he sucks, his throat softly bobbing as he swallows
nikolai’s cupping the back of his head, fingers drifting through the blonde hair at the nape of his neck and he looks so fond; like there’s nowhere he’d rather be than on their broken in couch with ghost curled around his body, sucking what must be a deep ache into his tit.
then nikolai looks up at him, frozen in the doorway and soap-
soap runs
-
nikolai gives soap a few days before he tries to talk about it; gives him a chance to come to terms with what he's seen. it's almost adorable; how deep soap’s flush grows when he sees him, how he stumbles over his words and can’t quite make eye contact
but it also tugs at him that he feels the need to shrink, to brace himself from whatever punishment he thinks is headed his way; shoulders hunching in, arms wrapped almost defensively around his body before finding whatever excuse he can to run from him
run from himself
he wishes he could wait for soap to come to him but he knows lost boys and their fear of coming in from the cold
nikolai keeps himself gentle as he uses his bulk to corner soap; stopping him from running but also using it to show how easily he could hide in him if he just let himself give in. if he let him take care of him the same way he takes care of ghost
"but... but it's wrong," soap whispers, fingers tangling with a gold cross at the hollow of his throat (a cross so similar to one he’d melted down all those years ago), but he speaks with such clear longing; eyes wide where he stares up at him, all but begging to be told otherwise and it almost breaks nikolai's heart
"no, lovely boy," he denies softly and soap shudders as he cups his face and backs him up against the corner; hugged by both walls and nikolai himself. "there is nothing more natural."
he caresses soap's cheek. he feels him shake under his touch, his eyes already growing dewy, and chances drifting his fingers over his bottom lip. soap's breath hitches and he looks up at him with so much fear - so much trust - and hesitantly opens his mouth to let them sink inside
nikolai doesn't press them too deep, doesn't threaten his throat, but they are thick and wide; filling his mouth and comfortably weighing down his tongue
with a small, involuntary moan, soap closes his lips around his fingers and nikolai catches him with his body as he goes limp. he coos as he starts sucking; wrapping his other arm around his head and brings him into his body, hidden and safe and small
"my good, lovely boy," he whispers and soap lets out a cracked whimper. "you are not wrong."
he isn't ready yet, much the same way ghost wasn't ready at first. but feeling soap tremble and suckle at his fingers, nikolai knows he'll soon have another boy tucked safe to his breast
#soap thinking it’s wrong not bc nikolai and ghost are men (though that’s part of it)#but bc he knows the church would see it as a bastardisation of the virgin mary#the mother feeding christ; the ultimate act of care and love#and it must be a perversion; it must be a twisted imitation of something pure#right?#it cant be something genuine; pure; bc if ghost can have it… does thst mean he can too?#soap desperate for such comfort and acceptance; things he thinks he’ll never receive#bc he knows he’ll never be worthy of such things#never devout enough; never loyal enough; never well behaved enough#shaming his family and his church along with it every time he opened his mouth#he constantly chases this elusive ‘good enough’; always forced himself to be better; stronger; /perfect/#bc then it will mean he’ll have earned it right? he’ll be given the love he’s always yearned for but always fell short of#and nikolai who was raised russian orthodox? all he can see is a burnt out reflection of himself#he recognises the same longing he used to feel before he realised he will never be enough for them#that they want him to be a man he will despise and even then he’ll still be denied the comfort he wanted#and he doesnt want that; for ghost or soap#he’ll give them everything they want and more until they understand everything they deserve#we’re a team. ghost team#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#nikolaighost#nikghost#nikolai x ghost#niksoap#nikolaisoap#nikolai x soap#cod nikolai#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod
58 notes
·
View notes
Text
i’m not posting this for any other reason than to cry over ichiro’s voice as he teases kuukou lmao 😭😭😭
#this is vee speaking#read an ichikuu opinion that left a bad taste in my mouth actually lol#but it did like reopen the question for me why does it need to be family for kuukou lol#like the leaders’ traumas are being healed by their team set up eg ichiro’s abandonment issues came from his father leaving first#and so his brothers despite also leaving him have stuck by his side after trials and tribulations lol#samatoki and sasara watched their parents’ relationship crash and burn one was explicitly a betrayal of vows the other a gradual decline#and so samatoki’s team chooses his side despite their varying agendas and sasara’s helped him see you can still save your relationship#so like……….. why the importance on family for kuukoulol#it’s found family too like even tho it’s now been coloured with the we’re like brothers or whatever#it still ‘all you need are a few friends you can call family’ as kuukou had put it#which also makes me wonder why ichiro and kuukou have to be aibou lol#it’s been a very long time since i listened to the sasasama track lol but i could have sworn they were also aikata???#and kp were each other’s nirvana???? which is crazy of jakurai and ramuda btw LOL#like i don’t think either bond between leader and leader or leader and team are any less important than the other#but like even with rmjk nirvana thing they’re still finding respite with their team so it lines up with their bonds both new and old#and the same can be said for samatoki and sasara!!!! sasara obvs with aikata and tho they wouldn’t put that name to it mtc are aikata too#so why aibou for nb if it has to be family for ichiro and kuukou lol????#why aibou???? why family????? I WANT ANSWERS!!!!!!!!!
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.
We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.
@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)
If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.
(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)
We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.
Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.
What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.
By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.
But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)
One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)
With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.
To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)
At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.
TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.
I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.
#thisisctrying and taylortruther sorry for tagging you two!#can remove if needed!#but you guys made me think a lot#this was inspired by a conversation i had with a friend the other day#where she relayed an argument she had with her partner#who basically felt slighted that he wasn’t getting acknowledgement for all the housework he does — which is. just. the dishes#and she was like ‘wow congrats you’ve done the dishes — i do every other fucking thing to keep this household afloat in ways you see#and don’t see and i never ask for praise because it’s just stuff that needs to get done because that’s how you support your family’#and it just reminded me that some partners (and a certain kind of man in particular) just… think their struggles take precedence#when their partners drown in them everyday but keep things afloat out of necessity and are never recognized or supported for it#(my friends have shitty husbands/boyfriends can you tell lol)#long post#again the way i just feel like i know the vibes of ttpd in my bones are 😵💫#i feel like i have a lot more thoughts but I’m trying to be more gracious and less parasocial so#also just want to again defend the introverts of the world by reiterating that being introverted does not mean unsupportive#being a shitty partner does though!#writing letters addressed to the fire#it’s also just like… i feel like if Taylor had had even a modicum of the support in private and even public she needed#she’d probably still be with you know who and wouldn’t have considered leaving let alone doing it#because it would have felt like enough and like it was what was needed for both of them#whereas we’re seeing a completely new side of her open up now because this is the first time she’s ever had that support from a partner#in her adult life at least#and it’s like it’s opening up things she didn’t know she needed or wanted
56 notes
·
View notes
Text
Have any of you guys ever been doodling when suddenly you’re hit by the angstiest idea ever and so you start workshopping that idea into an au as an alternate timeline to see if it would fit with the au only to create an absolutely heartbreaking and depression inducing scenario, only for your brain to decide that’s not enough and end up creating that same scenario in your two other main aus so that you end up with three deeply traumatized versions of the same character?
Anyone?
No?
That’s fair
I call them the heartbroken trio.
We have a post-Everything Goes To Shit arc Scythe, around January ‘24 Bloody, and a post-Second Takeover Harvest. You may notice I called them by their actual names and not by their usual [insert trait here]!BM names, and that’s on purpose.
See, due to various circumstances in each of their respective timelines, their twins died.
They’ve all taken it very harshly, but express it in different ways, Scythe is more reserved yet more ruthless in her anger, Bloody has become extremely disconnected from everything, and Harvest is an anxious wreck. All their reactions are directly correlated to their twins’ death and how they perceived it.
Anyways, yeah.
New au//timeline thing. Yay?
Oh, and for your troubles
The guy who in his canon lost his twin being extremely conflicted about the newcomers. Cuz in one hand they are versions of versions of himself that he knows that he can relate even more to! But on the other hand they are versions of versions of himself that he knows that he can relate even more to.
Yeah :P
Might elaborate on these guys later
#heresy’s dump of horrible ideas#literally cuz this is like actually horrible in the sense of what the characters go through#I could write one shots for each of them#and still have enough untapped lore to dump them in the Chaos House and give them the closure they need#I’m gonna stop rambling now#tsams#sams#sams au#my aus#sams bloodmoon#sams bloodtwins#tsams bloodmoon#The Sunset and Moonlight Show#the scenario becomes obvious if you know who’s place she’s at#this all started thanks to her and her second design (which none of you are prepared for)#Quiet Throes in Pooling Oil#I’d like to give you some sort of assurance about this one having some sort of comfort but I can’t#I fucking cried thinking of this one#Get in Losers; We’re Family Now#literally no one would understand even a fragment of what the scenario requires (I really need to write that stuff)#while the others had character related reasons for the whole change in their timelines happening- these guys just got bad luck#angst#heavy angst#tw character death#tw implied character death#Original is concerned#also that tails plush is just a plush#like actually just a plush I swear over my writing motivation’s tomb
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think why Endhawks is so cathartic for me is that you have two people who have been through a bunch of trauma and made fucked up choices because of it and are both terrified that deep down that they aren’t worthy of love, that they’ll end up alone, that they are inherently bad.
And they are trying, trying so hard to change, to be good, to be lovable.
And they accept each other so easily. Like yes I see you. I see you trying so hard. You’re not hard to love at all. You are a good person at heart and that’s why you try so hard. I won’t flinch away at the hard, sharp edges of you because mine fit together with yours.
And it hits me right in my trauma core.
I just love them. Anyway…
#endhawks#mini rant of the day#hawks x endeavor#endeavor x hawks#it’s rotten work#not to me#Enji terrified of losing people because he believes that he is not strong enough to protect anyone#and Hawks who believes that he is only lovable when he is useful and charming and putting up a mask#ahhhhhh#and why I love Enji’s arc where he’s like this is it#it’s all stripped away I’m weak and terrible#and his family is like shut up you fucked up but we’re still here to support you#and Hawks who never wavers in his support#Horikoshi just stabbing me with emotions
137 notes
·
View notes