#yes i know that sentence doesn’t really work within the star wars universe but i do not care i’m saying it anyway

[sanshinexx]

Fun times at the family game night 🥰

[More incorrect quotes with the gang here, now as a masterlist i just made because why not]

[just-a-real-human]

A tale of war.(Humans are space orcs)

SO! i decided to do something different, i won’t be exactly sticking to a single writing style forever, some stories will be Kr’Kn’s lectures(or maybe adventures of his? maybe), others will be more standard stories and yet others, like these, will be large scale battles with dramatic storytelling. ALSO! the comments are fixed now! so i can ACTUALLY get constructive critisism. I found two links for laser sound effect which are used in this story, OR you can imagine them yourself c: (P.S i don’t own any of the sounds)

https://youtu.be/whLbGbpt-E4 for the smaller laser effect. yes. SMALLER

https://youtu.be/o_Lv5GXYYvA for the BIG BOY. You’ll know when to use it. NOW ON WITH THE STORY

The Dr’achs attack on humanity was not exactly unexpected...but it was a surprise they’d do it so soon. They were a warfaring species, a succesfull one at that, taking homes, destroying planets by taking their recources, even bringing many species to extinction...we all assumed this would be the end of humanity, they never did have much military might. Don’t get me wrong!, their military was powerful, but there wasn’t much of it...at least that’s what we thought...oh how wrong we were.

The Dr’achs attack was swift, powerful, unexpected. The human homeworld (Earth or Terra, depends who you ask) Was utterly decimated, many cities fell, including every major capital. They killed every town, city or village they came across. The Dr’achs ordered the surrender of humanity, but their representitive, Grand Admiral Yeshua Ezekiel Alastair replied with but one simple sentence. “Psalm chapter 97″. Nobody knew what it meant, but the Dr’achs soon came to know it’s meaning first hand...

A mere three months after the devestating attack on Earth, a fleet had assembled, one of sizes inconcievable to anyone who saw it...millions, no, BILLIONS of humans had gathered around their pride and joy, their flagship, their capital...i cannot describe it’s power, it’s size...it’s might...

It was so immense we could see it pass our star clearly like an eclipse, blotting out the sun with it’s size and power...I must say, am i happy we did not attack humanity when we thought they were weak.

At the planet, many aliens had joined the fleet, be that to provide geniune support, to sate their curiosity, to record the happenings for the universe to see, or to simply see the might of the Deus ex machina. I don’t blame anyone who did, a small part of me joined the battle for that exact reason, of course i was mostly there to record the happenings, but still...that ship is incomprihensibly big, i could probably destroy a city simply by entering atmosphere above it!

At the home planet of the Dr’achs, Dr’ach’raz, Humanity gave one warning, telling the Dr’achs to surrender, giving them one chance to surrender. They naturally refused, and so, in reaction, Grand Admiral Yeshua simply smiled, saying “May the Lord have mercy on your soul, but i doubt hell will be pleasant.”

Ships flew all across the planet, engulfing it like a dyson sphere does a star, millions of ships flying to every city, village or remote bunker, having no mercy, they spared no man, woman or child. Every ship firing it’s devastating lasers at them, and at their capital, which humanity attacked last, the Dr’achs had put of an admirable defense, their turrets did most of the work, shooting down a ship every now and then, they sent thousands upon thousands in infantry, but the human ships simply fired on them with their heavy laser beams, their booming, horrible sound being a testament to their strength. Those ships tore down evey building they hit, like a hot blade through butter, cutting through ground, battering through bunkers and disintegrating infantry and  civilians alike. Military had hidden in bunkers so deep underground even their heavy lasers couldn’t break through, but that was their last mistake...

From within the bunkers, the surviving Dr’achs sat with shaking knees, regretting everything they had ever done, desperately attempting to open communications with humanity. Eventually, Alastair picked up, a thin smile on his face and raised eyebrow. “I had expected you dead, what seems to be the problem?” The Dr’achs looked at him, abject horror on his face. “Human! Turn back your ships at once! we-we surrender!” All Yeshua did...was laugh. He shook his head, still chuckling. “What makes you think we had the intention of accepting surrender? If we wanted your surrender, all we would have done is decloak our capital and show you!” The Dr’achs eyes went wide, his mouth agape as it looked at the screen showing what was happening above ground...

There it was, high above, darkening everything on the planet, was the human flagship, their new capital...The Deus ex machina, The God from the machine.

Above the bunker, the remaining ground troops gasped, looking up at the darkened sky. Many tried to flee, others tried to shoot it, yet others collapsed, fainted or dead from fear. None of it mattered anyways, for the many ships pulled back, returning to their God...and then everything went silent, as if all sound was pulled away, and then There was a horrible sound, Thunder was sounding all around the planet, made by all the disturbance the gravity of this massive ship was making and the dust and debris rubbing together... and suddenly a massive surface the size of a dwarf planet on the God’s belly started glowing a brilliant white-green colour, a horrible, a rising hum sounding all around, deafening all who heard it without protection. Then, the most horrifying thing i have ever observed...the gigantic laser fired, it’s brilliant white blinding me temporarily it cored through the planet like it was nothing, the sound returning in my dreams even to this very day. It blasted through the planet, going deeper and deeper, destroying the bunker like paper...but it did not stop...

It continued, not stopping untill...it hit the core. The planet started to glow from the inside out with the green hue of this massive beam,but this lasted all but a few seconds before it blasted apart. everything on that planet was dead...destintegrated, killed by the shockwave, or maybe, JUST maybe, some poor alien on the other side of the planet was alive long enough to see it’s home split...or maybe it was removed by the laser coming out the other side...

Humans were victorious, and every creature in the galaxy knew that humans were amazing at hiding their might...but not afraid to show it.

Human death count was maybe 5000, their victory was absolute, they remain a powerful force, and even a dozen of their heavy cruisers could have been sent to deal with this...but no, they wanted revenge...they NEEDED revenge, they needed to honour the dead by wiping those disgusting creatures away from the universe...and so they did, and the only ones remaining are on planets far away, praying everyday a human doesn’t come and end their existence...

Dr Kr’Kn on the destruction of Dr’ach’raz.

SO! that was a story displaying the fact that humans are not to be fucked with! i really hope you enjoyed and don’t be shy to post constructive critisism c:

Do keep in mind CONSTRUCTIVE, i want to improve, so please also tell me how to write better. Have a VERY nice day, and untill next time!

[astraskylark]

Five times One

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25901689/chapters/62945623

i.

“I love you Weiss”

It’s Saturday and they’re in Ruby’s room, when Ruby chooses to utter those words, Weiss settled in her chair (well it wasn’t her chair officially but everyone knew that was her favorite spot—near the window but not too far from the desk or the bed). Ruby’s sprawled on her mattress, legs raised against the walls, her head facing the ceiling, a bandage over the bridge of her nose.

Weiss takes a moment to process this, placing her book down to stare at Ruby-who’s attention is still very occupied by the glow in the dark stars they had stuck up there a year ago.

Ruby was never one to shy away from speaking her mind. While Weiss painstakingly laid brick after brick, raised wall after wall-- fortified by words laced with indifference and coldness, cruelty and ice- an effort that had slowly numbed her mind to her own pain, blurred the difference between what she really felt and what she was expected to feel –Ruby would come and let lose whatever she felt to the world.

Be it sadness or happiness—or rather any range of emotion on the human spectrum, Weiss would shun it and try to bury it within the depths of her self and cover it in barbed wire and Ruby would let it rain over, a metaphorical flood of love and warmth and tears and smiles—and although Weiss had never admitted it out she had always been envious of Ruby’s ability to feel—or rather her zero qualms in letting herself feel.

So Weiss had believed, until a second ago atleast—that nothing Ruby would ever say would catch her off guard. She hadn’t even batted an eye when Ruby had called her one day to tell her that she had moved the T.V remote with her mind and that it was sentient and needed her help to fight in the cable wars (she was very convinced and Weiss almost believed her. Almost). But there’s a first time for everything and today was (in recent memory) that Weiss was isn’t sure of what to say.

Her mind reeling, she tries to muster up a response, a sarcastic quip or jibe or random fact—anything.

“……What.”

A wonderful day to lose her ability to form coherent thoughts.

She coughs lightly trying to save face (Ruby still hasn’t looked at her so she’s not sure what face she’s saving), the sound drawing Ruby’s attention from the ceiling, her head slightly tilting to face her.

“I said that I love you silly” she repeats as if it’s the most natural and casual sentence in the word and not a bomb that has Weiss’ mind trying to do damage control and salvage what’s left of the wreck.

“Ah.” is all she can muster as heart takes a free-fall. She’s pretty sure the blood rushing to her face and the sound of her heart-beat are symbolic. How? She’s not sure, but she can feel it is.

That this simple sentence given to her on a mundane Saturday evening has let lose a floodgate of emotions she’s repressed for years. Really, was there no respecting the effort it took to emotionally stunt yourself? Trust Ruby to squash all her work without breaking a sweat.

Ruby’s still looking at her, her face wearing an expression of absolute calmness while Weiss is feeling what she’s sure is equivalent to a volcano erupting.

Weiss loves Ruby. She knows she loves her. There’s no denying that fact. She would topple mountains and set fire to oceans, challenge the Gods to a fistfight or flip the finger at every world leader in Remnant if it would help Ruby.

Hell she’d even eat one of those cookies that had so many sprinkles and chocolate chips she wouldn’t be surprised if they brought that cookie into a hospital and someone flat-lined just from the scent of it.

So yes. Weiss loved, loves and will forever love Ruby Rose. There was no doubt in her mind. To admit that fact in the recess of her mind was as easy as breathing. It had become a part of her, a part she had warred over for the first few months after its starting revelation but had eventually come to accept.

But she would never ever-not even dream of actually telling Ruby that.

Because that’s the thing isn’t it. Every emotion feels save safe within the arena of your mind, but once spoken, it becomes something tangible. Something real. Something undeniable. Something that permanently enters the air you breathe, its weight settling on you like a halo or a chain. The memory of it’s sound permanently etched into the history of the universe.

And Weiss Schnee was not ready for that.

“Weiss are you alright?” comes the treacherous voice, as if her words from two seconds ago hadn’t plunged her into an existential crisis.

Weiss’ vision goes back into focus, only to find Ruby’s face oh so close to hers, close enough that she can she the ends of the bandage slowly losing it’s adhesive, her eyes reflecting the few remaining specs of light left in the day, the curve of lips—she’s amused about something—wait amused?

That stupid impish smile manages to bring Weiss back from…. whatever it was, and finally-finally-finally, after the vocabulary horror show that had been that last three minutes Weiss manages to close the curtain on it.

“You’re a dunce Ruby” she replies, as if that’s a proper response. But it’s the best she can do (pathetic isn’t it). She feels her heart rate settle and her face return to its glacial white. And the reason is that annoying smile. That somehow knowing smile that conveys to her that even if she doesn’t reply according to convention, Ruby knows. She knows something about Weiss that Weiss herself hasn’t figured out.

She wants to tell her off for being presumptuous, but she knows that Ruby is probably right. That whatever conclusion she’s come to is clearer than anything Weiss could come up with. It’s frustrating how perceptive Ruby could be while also thinking snorting yogurt through her nose with a bendy straw is a good idea.

“Aww come on Weiss, you hungry?” she asks scooting ever closer to Weiss. “Wanna ride to the bakery with me? Uncle Clover said he’d save a batch of the glitter bomb cookies if I felt like stopping by and I know you secretly like those cookies even though you claim Uncle Qrow came up with the recipe as an alternative to poison” she says without taking a breath, Weiss once again entertaining the thought of what a good trumpet player Ruby could be.

Weiss rolls her eyes, absentmindedly flattening out the edges of Ruby’s flailing plaster (Honestly how do you get hurt walking from the bed to the bathroom door). She knows that Ruby isn’t deliberately changing the subject or trying to cover up her words.

No Ruby isn’t that subtle. Ruby said something that had sent Weiss' mode into over-drive. Weiss gave her a look (her internal courtroom debate completely lost on Ruby). And now Ruby was hungry. It was as simple as that. And the usual. This—Weiss could go along with practiced ease.

“I do not secretly like those cookies and mark my words one day a person will eat them and keel over and die” she says with an air of finality, amazed at how easy switching between life changing words and culinary banter can be.

And no, she’s not over thinking it. Probably.

“But you’ll still come with me, right?” Ruby asks, her smile widening into a grin that suits her face a little too much.

Weiss sighs. Her societal behavior handbook dictates that she has to sigh at least fifty times a day to restore her ice-queen mana points. But she’s already getting up—carefully placing her book on the shelf to read another day, she’s not how many point deductions that it. If there was some higher power keeping score she imagined that they just tossed the pencil screaming "My God this idiot is hopeless!" and proceeded to bang their head on the scoreboard of life points.

Ruby let’s out a cheer, rushing to hug her. She’s just a bit taller than Weiss (something that Weiss will never get over) and she wraps her arms around Weiss and whispers into her ear. “You’re the best Weiss I love you!”

And Weiss isn’t sure if she wants to strangle her for putting her heart through every emotion ever or self-combust because Ruby’s hugs always managed to make her feel warm and fuzzy and happy and light or profess her love for her (because apparently, it’s easy? For some people??) so she does the next best thing.

The first time Ruby says I love you Weiss rolls her eyes and flicks her forehead.

[bexterbex]

A Soul to Mend His Own | Ch. 14

Warning, if it hasn’t been obvious in the movies there is Nazi symbolism within the First Order. I will expand on this much more throughout the story. If this is something that bothers you, please just exit the story. The author does not condone any Nazi ideals, this is just for fictional uses only.

A Kylo Ren x Modern! Reader in a soulmate au with some canon divergence. —————————————SLOWBURN————————————–

He is already the Supreme leader, searching the universe to find you, his Empress. Your name on his wrist has been the only constant in his life, while you have doubts about his existence and his acceptance of you. He isn’t in the database and why did the name Kylo Ren cover Ben Solo?

Masterlist

Just a reiteration, none of the government officials are based off a specific real person. They are all old privileged men. I do not want to date this fic in that way. I am trying to base their political standings off of the majority of their country's beliefs. They are not progressive, but they are harshly conservative.

Also, I may be later in posting the next few days or may not be able to post, my Tumblr @bexterbex will have a post on whether or not I can post that day. My sister is getting ready to have baby #3 and I am with her assisting with her other 2 and cleaning house. Sorry for any future inconvenience.

Chapter 14: Dirty Politics

Entering the war room once again, everyone shifted uncomfortably as you two entered. Kylo’s demeanor shifted into one of strength and power, with underlying tones of anger. You took your seats once more ready to begin. Kylo now held your hand above the table as a silent way to dare anyone in the room to disrespect you. 

“Shall we begin,” asked Hux. 

Kylo nodded in response.

“The Finalizer will arrive late tonight, early tomorrow morning to help with the demands of registration and the health regime. Currently, we need to help evaluate an addition to the education system to increase overall hygiene here on the surface,” said Hux.

With this Prime Minister of Australia scoffed, “our people are not unclean, I think the First Order is overstepping its bounds with telling people how to clean themselves.”

“Currently over 700 million people are living in extreme poverty. 8.9 percent of your population are defecating in non-hygienic places, unvaccinated children are on the rise in your first world countries, are just but a few issues the Earth has with health,” said a male first order officer. “Does this not concern you that almost one-seventh of the world's population is without almost any health care? That disease may spread overnight?” 

“Sub Saharan Africa and the poor areas of Asia are not my concern,” said the Australian Prime Minister.

“Were you not asked to help represent all of the governments of your world,” asked General Hux, daring the prime minister to defy him. 

“Yes, the prime minister did agree to that,” said the Chancellor of Germany. 

“The U.S. government’s own Center for Disease Control reported that 35 percent of women and 69 percent of men do not wash their hands after using the restroom. A basic hygiene principle that is shared across the galaxy. Obviously, Earth does need education on hygiene as it would help stop any of these outbreaks that you have been known to have,” said another female officer.

The Prime Minister of Russia scoffed, “we are not unclean.”

“I don’t believe they were suggesting you were unclean, but that the majority of Earth was unclean,” you replied.

“There is also the discussion of reproductive health, all First Order planets have adequate birth control and access to feminine hygiene products. Which we can see from the data, your planet seems to be lacking in all these areas and will need to be justified,” said the female officer.

“Birth control and feminine hygiene product? Now this is ridiculous,” said the U.S. President. “There will be no need for the First Order being involved in that. Besides periods are not an important medical issue.”

This made you a bit angry, but fortunately enough for the President, it was General Hux who spoke first, “The First Order merely wants those who would like these products to be able to receive them.”  

“Yes, and I suppose you want our women to become common First Order whores with this access to birth control,” asked the almost now enraged Russian Prime Minister. Staring directly at you.

This conversation made your blood boil. He was now insinuating exactly what he was thinking earlier about you. Kylo’s grip on your hand tightened. You could hear him snort through the vocoder, “Certainly your wife will be of no use to us, but a healthy self-controlled population is necessary. After all, I believe it is also common here on Earth that you are born from women, and I believe you have not advanced enough for the use of clones.”

With this statement, the Russian Prime Minister stood up enraged. “What you do with your ha-“ he wasn’t able to complete his sentence before he was grabbing at an invisible hand around his neck, choking the air out of him. All eyes on him. 

General Hux next to you turned to Kylo pleaded, “Supreme Leader, I might suggest that you release him. It would not look good to the Russian people if you killed their prime minister and they are not a country we can afford not to be cooperative.”

You turned to Kylo, desperate to find his eyes through his mask as he turns to you. “Release him.” In an instant, the prime minister dropped to the floor gasping for air. The U.S. President and Australian Prime Minister helping him back into his seat. All of the government officials in the room looked terrified.

You had no idea what just happened. You didn’t really know how Kylo did what he did, but that didn’t matter right now. What mattered was that he did it in the first place. Before you could speak, Kylo addressed the room. 

“You and your people will follow the will of the First Order, my will as Supreme Leader. I will leave health decisions to a committee that I have designated. They will bring forward their proposals and I will either approve or disapprove them from there. This discussion and meeting are over. See to it during tomorrow's meetings that you all control yourselves or there will be consequences for your people,” and with that, he stood and he leads you to stand as well. He guided you out the door without another word. You did not stop at the red sitting room again, instead, he lead you out of the White House and into his command shuttle. 

You sat down and before you could even start to buckle yourself he was doing it for you. You could feel the silent pent up anger radiating off of him. He barked a harsh order to the pilot to take you back to the Steadfast. 

The ride up was in total silence, but he took you hand in his once more. Once you docked, he was quick to unbuckle you both. Quickly guiding you both through the hangar and the halls, not stopping for the official salute. You quickly found him leading you not to his chambers but to the room that he had shown you. The door quickly opened and you two rushed in. Before the door could completely shut, his helmet was off and tossed to the side making a loud thud against the durasteel. 

Kylo’s back was against the star side windows—sitting. His face in one hand and the other holding itself out to you. His breathing was labored again, you feared what was behind his eyes. 

You took his hand and he pulled you down into him. His face buried in your neck, his arms wrapped tightly around you—he was holding back a sob. Your hand found its way into his hair as the other to his lower back. You began to rub circles trying to calm him.

“Kylo,” you said softly.

He was looking at you now, “I am a monster, don’t you see? You shouldn’t stay with me, or you will get hurt too.”

“What was it that you said before? The Force brought me to you, why would I leave if it chose me for you?” This time you tucked yourself into his chest, refusing to move. 

After a few minutes, his breathing calmed and he wound a gloved hand in your hair, holding you to him. “I’m sorry.”

You tilted you head up to meet his eyes. “Whoever hurt you before doesn’t matter. I am here let me help you. Whether it’s to keep your temper in check, helping with work, or anything else that is why I am here.” You place a hand over his heart and one of his joins yours. 

“I had to protect you. I have to protect you, do you understand? Without you, I will self destruct. Taking everyone with me,” said Kylo while placing a hand under your chin. His thumb ghosting over your cheek.

“I know, but thoughts can’t harm me, only actions can. Defend me against actions. I like that you are trying to be a knight in shining armor but I am also a big girl who can handle herself. Especially against gross old men. When their thoughts turn into actions, then you can swoop in and save me.” You tucked yourself back into his chest, you both just sat there while time seemed to stop. 

“I need you by my side helping me with Earth. The politicians are stubborn and archaic. It's a large planet with a big population. The biggest the First Order has conquered yet, but your people are unhealthy and uneducated,” said Kylo finally. 

“Why don’t we go and try to figure out some of this together. I know you said you were going to appoint a committee, why don’t we try to do that now. Get it out of the way, and relieve some stress,” you suggested. 

Kylo simply nodded. You stood up, and so did he. He pulled you back to his chest once more and buried his face in your hair. You stood like that for several moments before he separated from you. He retrieved his helmet and once again you were off into the winding halls of the Steadfast. 

You reach a room you have never been to, once inside it was a large empty conference room. Kylo walked over to one of the computer panels on the wall and started typing in commands. 

“We will wait for the generals and officers to come back, in the meantime you and I will eat lunch.”

A droid appeared with plates of food and you and Kylo ate lunch in the conference room. One finished the droid took everything back. 

A junior officer entered the room and informed you that the generals and officers would be here shortly as their shuttle had just arrived. Moments later they filed through the door, quickly taking seats and seemingly ready for a bomb to go off. 

“We are going to discuss the health regime committee first and then I believe we should discuss other areas of education. The earth is a mess with citizen on citizen violence that will be stopped,” said Kylo.

“Well, the hygiene committee will be something easy to tackle. Mostly it should be filled with First Order medical staff, someone from the CDC and the WHO. Unlike the politicians I believe that average citizens and the Earth’s medical professionals will agree with a better health campaign,” you said.

“When the Finalizer docks tonight I can ask their chief medical officer to put together a group of nurses and doctors from both ships to start the committee,” said General Hux.

“Inform them that a visual campaign will help, videos and posters. Literally everywhere. Children will be the easiest to influence, adults will be harder,” you said. 

The officers were noting your comments. “This CDC and WHO are reputable,” asked General Pryde. 

“Yes, unfortunately, most of the time people only listen to them when there is an Ecoli outbreak in lettuce and not when it comes to washing hands and receiving vaccines. But I digress at the ignorance that is my own people,” you replied.

“So they will understand the need that we have for making this planet healthy? That the citizens must be healthy,” asked another officer.

“Yes, as far as I am aware, doctors on my planet take oaths to health and the safety of patients and potential patients. They also will believe in the science behind it, when given facts and studies. I have yet to meet a doctor that doesn’t want their patients to bathe regularly, to receive vaccinations, to have regular checkups. That is something doctors want,” you said. 

“General Hux will inform the chief medical officer of the Finalizer of what is to happen. Tomorrow the committee will be formed before 10:00 hours and will by the end of the day have a start to a more solid campaign,” said Kylo.

He then turned to you and asked, “Will you help with the health committee?”

“Yes,” you respond.

“Supreme Leader, we must also be aware that there must be an education started once all registration is completed. As of now we have currently completed the registration of 27% of the population has been registered to date and 98% of the registered have started their education process,” said general Hux.

“Yes, behavioral education along with the standard education must be important. We should hold off for two or three days to see where the health education committee is, that can always be put as a main focus to then share a behavioral one,” said Kylo.

The mention of behavioral training piqued your interest. What need was there for behavior training? And what would it involve? Public health was something you were comfortable sharing but if Kylo could read minds what would happen in this behavioral training. You silently hoped you would be able to shape or sway this. If you learned anything from movies, an overpowered government did not allow freedom, and freedom of thought was the most important thing you could think of. 

“But I would like General Pryde to investigate what already might be available for behavioral training education at the main library in the U.S.-“ Kylo turned to you to help answer.

“The Library of Congress,” you supplied. 

“Yes, the Library of Congress. There should be something there worth our time.” With that Kylo dismissed the officers before you were left alone General Hux approached you. 

“Here is your dog tags my lady. They will grant you access all over any First Order ship and if you happen to be separated from the Supreme Leader it will grant him the ability to find you,” and with that he handed you a set of angular looking dog tags that had a visible tracker chip and circuitry on the back. He soon left. You were now alone again with Kylo.

[junewild]

tags masterpost

a couple of people have complimented me on my new tag system and a couple of people have asked me what tags go to what sort of content, so i thought i’d write up a little masterpost of what the tags mean, where they came from, and why they’re important to me! you’ll even get a sneak peek at a few tags that are very rare or have yet to be used 👀. this will be linked in my carrd when i get around to it. i’ve even tried to alphabetize them 😅 thanks for expressing interest, it’s very lovely of you all xoxo

#and i am close behind — home tag

a continuation of “the wild geese are heading home again” which is my nature tag. just for everything that makes me feel like i am coming home. 

#and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart — quotes and words tag

from a poem by e.e. cummings. “and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart / i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)”. words are just hearts speaking to each other, after all. 

#and i was like *screams* — space tag

from the jenny slate drunk history nasa episode, because she somehow manages to sum up fully 80% of my feelings about the universe in that one sentence

#angstposting — disordered thoughts tag

literally just stream-of-consciousness breakdown-posting. probably block this tag. i go back and clean it out after every breakdown.

#but they are all good stories — media analysis/literature critique tag

hilary mantel (whose work i have never read) wrote that “some of these things are true and some of them lies. but they are all good stories.” anyway, that’s how i feel about taking apart stories and narratives and looking at them from the outside. 

#can you not hear the ocean in me — mental health and disorders tag

the non-breakdown version. from this poem, which i can’t find anyone but i think is a deleted inkskinned or caitlyn siehl one: 

“i am alive; 

can you not hear the ocean in me; 

are you not aware of the war i am fighting ; 

i am alive ; 

you cannot take that from me”

#checkmate nihilism — crafts tag

higgsboshark wrote a lovely post about how knitting is a great treatment for existential dread & now that’s all i think about every time i’m crafting. checkmate, nihilism. look at this thing that i am making with my hands. it exists and it will change someone’s life. 

#dumbposting — misc tag

for tag games and dumb comments and things that don’t fit in anywhere else. 

#fashion is instant language — fashion/body art tag

okay. IS this a cliche prada quote? yes. but also, one of my first classes in college was about art & society & the first thing that we learned was that the human body is the first & most primal canvas. what you do with your body is a statement, a language you are sharing with the people around you. i get very emotional about it. 

#felt rather than seen — poetry tag

YES i am a BASIC WHITE GIRL, thank you. the first half of the da vinci quote. “poetry is painting that is felt rather than seen / “

#fill your arms with the pink and white flowers — spring aesthetic tag

from one of mary oliver’s slightly less well known poems. 

“do you also hurry, half-dressed and barefoot, into the garden, and softly

exclaiming of their dearness,

fill your arms with 

the pink and white flowers,

with their honeyed heaviness, their lush trembling, their eagerness

to be wild and perfect for a moment, before they are nothing

forever”

#get in good trouble — activism/politics tag

are you really living if you aren’t making trouble for someone? write more letters. leave more voicemails. go to protests. join a mutual aid group. donate. there’s something you can do, even if it’s small. 

#i am building a world that is worth living for — moral living tag

slightly different from the activism tag bc this is more about what you/i can do in everyday life to make the world a better place. these are my own words, reminding me that to stay alive i have to build my own life and live in it. 

#i care to look on the outside like i do on the inside — gender/ sexuality tag

maggie stiefvater is a poet. 

#i have a magpie mind — happy tag

laurie graham’s version of the quote goes “i have a magpie mind, by which i mean i see and hear little things - photos, fragments of conversation - and store them away for future use,” and that’s what this tag is. just a lot of lovely things that i want to look back on. 

#i think i was a selkie in a past life — ocean/beach/selkie myth tag

someday i’m going to walk into the ocean and never come out again. j promised he would take me to a warm ocean where i can stand in chest-deep waves until i can’t stand any longer and i’ve never looked forward to anything so much in my life. 

#i wrote my own deliverance — creation/writing tag

this is not an admission of guilt. hamilton has a lot of words in it and these happen to be very nice. 

#it would be a merrier world —  food tag

because tolkien was right. 

#laughter for no cause — humor tag

funny things. half of a quote by louise glück. 

#let the wilderness engulf us again — discourse tag

i believe this is by christa wolf. anyway this is how i feel when i read Discourse. let’s all just get swallowed by the wilderness. who needs civilization anyway. 

#loveposting — affection tag

look, i’m just really gay and happy and i love my followers and my mutuals. let’s move on

#nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it — memory/emotion tag

yes, i have read everything ever written by l m montgomery, why do you ask? 

#offspring of heaven firstborn — light tag

constantly debating about whether i should change this one. i just have too many quotes about light. and too many posts about light. and too much love for light. this one is by milton, from the third book of paradise lost, and i memorized the entire chapter as a teenager because my “history” “class” believed in memorization as a form of education. 

#our bodies are meant to hold other bodies — sex/eros tag

from that little comic by grendelmenz (?). i KNOW it’s about cannibalism i DON’T care don’t @ me to love is to consume

#seen rather than felt — painting/visual art tag

and here’s the other half of the da vinci quote. 

#she stood in desperate music wound — music and playlists tag

from “a crazed girl” by yeats. tbh i usually lie upside down in my bed in desperate music wound but this poem kept me going as a teenager

#simply because the world is beautiful — misc tag

i just think the world is lovely and i am glad to be alive in it. this is where the rest of the assorted content goes. 

#someday you will be old enough to read fairytales again — fantasy/gaming/scifi tag

cs lewis got one thing right. 

#stardust will turn into kindness — joy tag

okay. okay i am still weeping about this man and his chickens. this tag is for every small creature who brings me delight. https://everychickdeservesamother.com/2019/08/17/all-the-good-there-is/

#thank god for the months after may — summer aesthetic tag

i haven’t listened to ben rector since i was seventeen but this is a good quote anyway and summer flowers are the thing that keep me going through the winter. 

#the first sign of civilization is a healed femur — civilization/altruism/kindness tag

paraphrase of the famous (possibly apocryphal) margaret meade quote. i saw a criticism of it by the green brothers, who were like “but lots of people/animals show altruism without any connection to civilization (eg buildings and cities and record keeping systems)” and i deeply disagree with them. civilization doesn’t require monuments, only people coming together to build (metaphorically) something bigger than they could have done as individuals. humans aren’t the only ones on that path, just the ones who’ve gotten the furthest down it. 

#the great sweeping wind — autumn aesthetic

yes i am a shameless l m montgomery stan. anne of green gables is my kindred spirit. 

#the quick and the dead — fungi tag

from the bible. you know. we all sin, we’re all alive or dead or both. fungi don’t care.

#the race that knows joseph — kindred spirit tag

haven’t gotten to use this one yet. looking forward to when i do. 

#the wild geese are heading home again — nature tag

shortened version of mary oliver’s poem. 

#there is a history in all men’s lives — history/natural history/anthropology tag

shakespeare knew how to use words. everything is history and i am excited about ALL of it. when will someone admit me into a grad school???

#we are the children of an indifferent universe — community/fandom tag

but, like colin meloy says, we are also the inheritors of a wonderful world. i think it’s amazing how we look at the universe around us and build communities and find meaning out of sheer spite. also i have got to refine this tag set better i can’t just shove ALL fandom content into one tag. stay tuned

#we don’t love this world without reason — awe/joy tag

from catadromously’s comic. this is for things that make me go “oh.” when i see them. 

#we shape our buildings; thereafter they shape us — architecture/interior design tag

churchill can have one right. architecture is one of my favorite art forms & interior design is something i love looking at and doing. someday i’ll even be able to afford it.

#we will be better than we were — recovery tag

from (yet another) caitlyn siehl poem that reads: 

“love is quiet love whispers “it is okay, we will be better than we were” and we are. we are.”

and we are. 

#within me; an invincible summer — winter aesthetic tag

albert camus wrote that: “in the midst of winter, i found there was, within me, an invincible summer. and that makes me happy. for it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.” winters are hard for me, but i hang on anyway. 

#you have no idea the joy that is coming — love tag

guess who this quote is by? if you guessed caitlyn siehl, you are correct. 

#you pull out the wild in me - feral aesthetic

not feral, just… wild. i don’t know. i don’t think i made this quote up but i can’t find it anywhere else so maybe i did. i’m guessing it’s now-deleted inkskinned or bonemeadows. 

#you’ve got to be kind — misc humans tag

kurt vonnegut. because yeah. we’ve got to be kind. that’s the only rule. we’re just humans and we have to be kind.

[crqstalite]

Little Something. [Koth Vortena/F!Sith Inquisitor]

Based on Koth's idle dialogue - 'Got a little something on your...there you go'.

Set Post Knights of the Fallen Empire, Pre-Knights of the Eternal Throne.

-

Oh what had she done to deserve this? A beautiful evening out, little to no threats to speak of...it seemed that things were finally turning up for the young Sith -- or Commander, as most addressed her these days.

Yes, they were in the middle of what seemed like a never-ending war against a galactic superpower. Yes, there was a new problem every damn day. Yes, the star fortresses would need to be dealt with at some point. Yes, her family and more importantly, her father was still missing and assumed dead. Yes, Senya and Arcann were out there somewhere after her failed murder attempt. Yes, the Gravestone was still under heavy repairs and wouldn't be ready for weeks more. And yes, SCORPIO and Vaylin were still very much at large and probably planning her demise from their fancy little Spire.

She hated SCORPIO with a passion. Arcann would always top that list, but SCORPIO was a close third after Vaylin.

But today was not a day to reflect back on their failures, on what was wrong. Today was a day to celebrate. And celebrate the Alliance would. Arcann was off the throne, and the Alliance was growing larger by the day with new recruits from across the galaxy. She may not have been the most perfect commander in the galaxy, Sith rarely were, but she was passable. She wasn't dead yet, which was a plus by itself. Odessen has finally hit it's summer cycle, just in time for their little party. The evening on Odessen was just beautiful, the day beginning to end but the party just starting. The valley is painted in colors of gold and pink with the lights sending shadows every which way. For now, she's not afraid of them.

Well, nothing with the Alliance was ever little. It had become such a widely anticipated and attended party that she and Lana had to move it down into the wilds below the main base to keep things from getting too out of hand. Corsha is very happy that after her little debacle with Valkorion, they'd sent a team down to clear out the forest from the little beasts that seemed to have a taste for flesh. It was very satisfying to watch as they were essentially exterminated, and she figures HK would've had a field day. There was no trace of Satele and Marr though, to Theron, Lana and her disappointment. She was beginning to think she may have imagined the whole thing, seventy-two hours of pure hallucinations as Valkorion played games with her mind. Wouldn't put it past him.

But now, they had a beautiful valley to be in tonight. All that was well would end well.

She just barely avoids getting knocked into by a Mandalorian, who ignores her for the most part and continues arguing with another of his brothers or sisters. She chuckles, today wasn't a day to be upset about the little things. Getting here in the first place was the good part. Senya wasn't here to sing for them like she'd promised, but there were plenty willing to take her place. It wasn't a particularly formal event, which is why their most recent and more violent...excitable allies were still in their armor -- beskar'gam according to Torian -- but some others had taken the opportunity to dress up a bit. She herself, itching to get back into her formal clothes had swiped at the chance, managing to find a dress somewhat like her favorite one that was surely still in her apartment on Dromound Kaas. A beautiful dress that hugged her hips, a dark red bodice with lacy sleeves up to her elbows, and a small slit that only ran about a third of the way up her thigh. She'd had to go for a style that cut off just below her knees, just in case a beast just managed to breach their little sanctuary, which was rather sad, she always adored trains. Her mother's planned wedding dress had one that was beautiful and lacy, which she hopes she'll wear one day.

Her face heats as she thinks of the man she hopes has to wait to see her in it.

She walks a tad faster to find the rest of the inner circle of the Alliance. In a small overhang decorated with string lights further away from the action, she finds that Theron hasn't forgone his red leather jacket, but has changed into clothes that aren't ripped or stained with blood. A little dressier, she'll give him that. He still wears his blasters, maybe expecting trouble, but the ever present datapad isn't anywhere to be found. Hopefully confiscated by Lana, who stands nearby and is surely joking with him, a rare smile on her red-painted lips. Her outfit has also been forgone for the most part, instead choosing a lightly armored forest green set.  Green had always been her color, the shade one would compare to the grass at night, striking against her pale skin. Her blonde hair had been pulled up into a ponytail at the base of her neck. She says something else that makes Theron roll his eyes, though a smile becomes evident.

They've relaxed into their roles well, her right hand man and woman. She wonders how the Empire and Republic have been able to get on without them, she surely wouldn't have won as many battles without Lana's battle prowess and Theron's admirable ability to retrieve intel as fast as he does, "Commander. Surely you're enjoying the festivities?" Lana asks, a smile in her voice as she turns from the disgruntled ex-SIS agent.

"Of course, you did well, Lana. I couldn't have done this on my own," She responds, praise evident and mirroring her smile. It's genuine, the aesthetic is beautiful and the mood is high. Lana is extremely talented, and she's very lucky to have her by her side (and not on the opposite faction), "Thank you for all the work you put in."

"It's nice to be appreciated. Thank you, Commander." She nods in acknowledgement, before doing a once over. Her expression changes into one of curiosity, "Were you expecting us all to dress as you have? I apologize for the lack of dress code."

Corsha laughs as she sees the Sith dart her eyes to the armored men and woman nearby, "No, I simply enjoy the finer things in life. Arcann hasn't exactly allowed me much time to wear things like this, so I'm taking advantage of the lull in activity. Maybe one day I can get back to being myself, but for now I'll take the small victories."

"I'm sure there's someone who appreciates it more than we do." Theron says, rather matter of fact as Corsha waves him off. She knows exactly what he means, and when her gaze leaves his, he chuckles quietly, "I don't know where he is."

"You could at least say I look nice before you tease, Theron," She rolls her eyes, feigning offense, and though he gives her the universal 'alright I'm done' gesture with his hands, the mischief twinkling in his eyes gives him away entirely. She doesn't know when he became such a joker, or why. He's enjoying this a little too much, but she lets it slide -- he isn't working for once. And, who knew he had a sense of humor anyway, "So rude. They were right when they said chivalry was dead in the Republic."

"Hey, don't have to bring factions into it, this is an Alliance," He says defensively, before leaning over to Lana as if Corsha's forgotten he's there, "Do they actually say that?"

Lana stifles a laugh herself, "Always. It's a popular saying, mostly among young women describing agents like yourself."

"Whatever they say, Hylo did amazing at bringing in the food," A shiver runs up her spine as she turns to the arrival of the final member of their original quartet. Koth has his dreadlocks tied up, a nice look that makes her blush a bit. His jacket isn't absent, but he's instead left it open, a black shirt and darker blue pants underneath it. His goggles are gone from their typical place on his head. Maybe he doesn't immediately see her, but when his dark eyes do land on her, they widen in a way she hasn't seen out of him before, and sets something ablaze within her, "Whoa, if I'd known there was a dress code --"

"There isn't. Corsha has simply decided to impress us all," Lana answers for her, and Corsha is sure that she's turning the same color as her lipstick, "Rather nice, don't you believe?"

"Yeah, definitely," The answer is clipped, but it's clear he doesn't mean it that way. There's so much hidden beneath that one sentence that she isn't immediately able to say anything else. Out of earshot of anyone else, she'd probably get his real opinion, anything else he wanted to say to her. Koth had admitted over and over again he was horrible with words, which she didn't believe, and was even less likely to say much else in front of anyone else. Unfortunately Theron and Lana had very quickly realized their relationship had grown serious after the interaction days ago when they'd gotten back from Arcann's flagship (so maybe she had launched herself into his arms and had kissed him hard, completely high on adrenaline and forgetting there was anyone else present, but that was no one's business but her own) Lana had apparently suspected since Asylum-- and the pair acted accordingly. Like small children, of course. The teasing was well-hidden and far and few in between even before then when they were with the rest of the Alliance, at the very least, but it still annoyed her to no end when they'd gotten less subtle about it in the days past. One of them had better catch someone's eye soon, just so she can turn their actions on them and force feed them their own medicine, "Hylo's got a cake. Don't know where she got it from, but if you don't get any now, chances are you won't at all. Jeez, those Mandos have torn through Hylo's poor buffet."

"Considerate of you, Koth. You didn't just eat it all yourself first?" Lana teases. She really does want to ask what happened before her release from carbonite, as there are so many inside jokes the two have. Or whatever happened to the pair that made Lana faux paranoid about him literally eating everything. Surely a situation like the one on Zakuul, when the infamous three minutes phrase had been banned from any com channel while they were on missions.

"Hey, I'm not that big of a douche," He responds, a grin on his face. He's not offended, and Corsha doesn't understand why. Personally, she would be. Theron gives her a knowing look, as if he's just as confused. Lana nudges him gently a moment later, barely noticeable if you weren't paying attention, and starts off toward the rest of the congregation of the Alliance. Theron hesitates for a moment, before maybe picking up on what she was doing and follows after in a brisk pace.

"You said there was cake?" Corsha turns to him, brushing a curl behind her ear, "Hylo mentioned managing a few treats for the Alliance, but I wasn't expecting one."

"It's been a while since I've had cake instead of field rations," Koth responds, scratching the back of his neck before holding out the napkin covered package he had, "Brought you a slice."

"I thought you said there still was some left? I could've gotten my own." Corsha says, though gratefully takes the cake. It looks so sweet, like something she would've enjoyed immensely as a child. Her sweet tooth couldn't be denied, even in a moment like this, "Did Hylo say what it was?"

"Cake?" He shrugs, "Anybody's guess what flavor, don't think we can really afford to be picky, yeah?"

"I can afford to be picky if I wish, Vortena, not to mention the influx of credits we've received lately has been very helpful with getting supplies in. We've got escrow for once," She responds, a chuckle on her voice as he grins sheepishly. The cake is terribly sweet after she takes a bite, even enough that she has to keep from balking at it. It's some sort of fruit, not one she can name off the top of her head, but it's good. She'd have to go back for another piece, or see if they can get it more regularly.

"Cor," Koth catches her attention again after she's finished, and she turns to him, confused, "Got a little something." He says, lifting his hand to his cheek, surely to mirror where the offending crumb of cake was. She brushes just about everywhere near that spot, getting more and more frustrated as time passed, and he eventually gives up, growing closer and wiping it off himself. Her heart pounds, even though he doesn't linger long, "There."

"Thanks," She nearly squeaks, and he drops his hands to his side. They sit in an uncomfortable silence for a moment, though they watch as the party rages around them in a quiet roar. She smooths her skirt out after she finishes with the cake, careful not to get a trace of it on the immaculate crimson skirt. It hasn't been particularly long since they'd become a lot (a lot was saying a lot, more that just Lana and Theron could put their assumptions to rest and Torian, Major Jorgan, Gault and Vette knew now) more public with their relationship, if not also more comfortable with the idea of one (Koth had become her very first boyfriend, and she was sure that with as nervous as he was, that she was probably the only one who stuck around this long or had gotten this personal), yet she still fumbled in these situations. She wasn't extremely suave, and her social meter was very easy to deplete . Skytroopers didn't try to find out more about you or take you places they thought you'd like, all they did was chase after you and shoot at point blank range.

Boys weren't like that, unfortunately. Well, according to every holonovel she'd ever read on the subject, they weren't supposed to be. At least Koth liked the silence sometimes. He had a lot to say when he did get really fired up about things, but most of it didn't require a response from her. She could sit in the co-pilot's chair of the Gravestone and just listen.

Still, it was odd trying to be more than just friends. They'd kissed a few times, she'd nearly died in his arms, but there was something different about it now. Like there were expectations to how she should've been acting once they unofficially put the titles of boyfriend and girlfriend on each other, but this time there wasn't anyone to ask for help going forward. This wasn't a battlefield with clearly labelled maps and tactics. This was a new experience entirely, and she felt so horribly lost.

Well, there was, but not anyone she'd want to get help from.

"You do look...really nice, Corsha," He says, quiet enough that she has to strain to hear him, "Real pretty."

"Thank you, Koth," She plays with the lace on the sleeves, but makes the effort to make eye contact with him. And regrets it nearly immediately. Stars, who had the audacity to let his eyes be this pretty in the setting sun? Or make him this pretty to begin with? The way he looks at her...it makes her feel more safe than anything else, more loved than anyone else, "You clean up well."

"Good to hear it," He answers, his expression softening considerably.

She turns his own tactics on him, "You've got a little bit of cake...there." She states, moving her hand to where it would be on her own face, an invisible crumb on his jaw. He raises an eyebrow, surprised maybe as goes to wipe it off. Again, and again and just once more on the other side before he sighs in defeat.

"You've got me, blasted cake is staying there for all the trouble it's worth." He shakes his head, just before she grows closer and after a moment of hesitation, presses a kiss to his jaw. He's a lot taller than she is (there's over a decade separating them, but unfortunately Corsha wouldn't ever be as tall as either of her parents, or her boyfriend), but she's glad she doesn't lose her balance as she stands on her toes to reach. He stiffens, surprise evident in his expression as she steps back. She considers saying something, but decides against it.

"I'm sure someone needs me somewhere, seems that's all there is to life these days," She says, playing with the curls that barely graze her shoulders. Great, now she's hot and she can feel sweat beading at the top of her forehead. Where did all that confidence go, staring down Arcann for the second time only a few weeks ago? How she feared a man's reaction versus her own death would be lost to her.

"And if that's me?" Koth asks her, gently pulling her further into the alcove by the wrist, "You know I'm not good with words, but I'd be lying if I said I wanted to spend the rest of the party with anyone else."

"Not a fan of the noise?" She asks, still completely aware of him loosely holding her wrist. In his hands, she figures it must be rather thin. SCORPIO had a larger body than she did, the skinny girl who'd never really grown into her armor. Gah, it was always so easy to find her own flaws with him. She might've been the Commander of the Eternal Alliance, but it didn't immediately mean that she deserved him, "There are plenty of places to relax at further away from anything else."

"Do you really have anywhere else to be?" The world fades around her, pushed out of view of the rest of the party goers she's sure, "Because if you're going to pull something like that, you might as well do it right."

Do what right? She wasn't about to waste any cake on him, she might be head over heels but to waste such a treat on him? She hadn't lost her mind yet, to Valkorion, love or otherwise.

He fills in that blank for her, gently growing closer and tilting her chin up. It isn't forceful, not nearly as passionate as the last one, but still undeniably sweet. She leans into the touch, resting her hands on his chest, his arms resting around her waist. That sweet taste is back on his lips, but it is so very desired this time. She wouldn't go as far as to say all that cliche stuff she'd read about in the holonovels, but a shiver runs up her spine when he pulls away.

Okay, she'll say one cliche. She desperately wants to get lost in those eyes.

And, she wouldn't mind him holding her like this a lot more often.

"Beginning to think maybe we need cake more often," He says, mischief in his voice as she leans her head against his chest for just a moment. Her heart is beating in tandem with his, and for someone that makes her want to take him so far away from here, "What do you think?"

She nods, grinning as she looks up at him. She tries something new, the word playing with her mind before she says it, "I'd second that, love."

His smile only grows, and it's the first time she's ever called him by the term of endearment. He presses another kiss to her forehead, and she laughs quietly, lifting her head to kiss him again. Stars, maybe inviting him to live with her in her apartment wouldn't be so bad after all.

He stills a moment later, mouth still open to say something else, a concerned look on his face, "What? Is there something wrong?" She asks, more curious than worried, but Koth usually had a good reaction time that she trusted.

"Don't look now," Koth shakes his head, a groan sounding. Not particularly caring, she turns over her shoulder anyways. It isn't immediately obvious what has him so worried, so she's about to go back and say it really was nothing until she spots Lana in the crowd. Talking with Gault, yes, but every once and a while her golden eyes dart back to them. She scans routinely for Theron, who's hidden better and is leaning against the table that used to be laden with food, but still a smirk on his face. Either he's planning on bothering her again later, or he's started a bet with Lana. She didn't have much hope on it not being the latter.

She gives a disappointed look to Koth that's mixed with annoyance, "Beginning to also think we need to find more hiding spots on base before Lana never lets us live this down."

[atamascolily]

Lily reads Star Wars: Red Harvest, part five

This book summed up in one sentence: "Hello, naughty children, it's murder time.... specifically, YOUR murder!” *evil laughter*

In which the students at Sith Hogwarts meet something that’s even creepier than they are... and they like it. Some of them. For a bit. 

(If you’re just joining me, check out the “Red Harvest” tag on my blog for previous posts)

Cut to not!Qui-Gon, his cloak billowing in the wind. 

“You landed on the wrong world, Jedi.”

Trace turned and faced him directly. The man was a Sith Master; that much was readily apparent—perhaps an instructor at the academy.

Okay, fine, but how do you know that, Trace?? What does a Sith Master even look like? Is their a dress code? Is it his presence?? This explains nothing. But that’s totally in character, because Rojo Trace is a Jedi of few words and never explains anything.

“I am Shak’Weth, Blademaster here on Odacer-Faustin. I can only assume that you came here seeking humiliation and an unpleasant death.”

“I’m here on other matters.”

“Ah?” The Blademaster cocked his head slightly, looking marginally intrigued. “But you’ve found me instead.”

Their duel is interrupted by a zombie attack, allowing not!Qui-Gon to escape and the Blademaster to die a horrible death.

In case we needed the reminder, the Whiphid bounty hunter is also a horrible person, as Zo learns when she tries to read his mind:

Normally her telepathic abilities weren’t particularly strong when it came to non-plant life-forms, but the Whiphid was what she thought of as a relatively easy read. In fact, from within, his mind resembled nothing so much as the trophy room aboard his ship where she’d first awakened: a place of death, a de facto display space for grotesque trophies and old kills. Some were alien species that she’d never seen before. Others were human. All were brought together in universal expressions of pain, desperation, and helplessness that they’d worn as the bounty hunter had delivered the coup de grâce. His mind had become a storehouse of their dying moments. This crypt of suffering, this reliquary, wasn’t just what he carried around in his head every day—it was his head.

He does not take kindly to Zo poking around in his mind. Zo is freaked out because she saw Scabrous watching her in there, too. They take shelter in the Tauntaun stables (because this is set on not!Hoth), and it turns out that the bounty hunter is a softie for them. Then the animals start screaming and the lights go out.

It turns out the Sith students love being zombies. Who would have ever guessed.  

He saw it with two sets of eyes: the ones he’d had when he’d been alive, and the strange new vision that the Sickness had given him. On some intuitive level he understood that the first set was fading, going blind, and that was fine with him, absolutely fine. The Sickness had given him everything he’d hoped for, everything he wanted, power and strength beyond all imagining. It had altered the midi-chlorians in his bloodstream, telescoping his natural abilities, enhancing them exponentially.

...The newly dead were rising slowly, shuffling to their feet. Rising up with them, Lussk stared into their faces, faces that he recognized from the academy, now contorted into something utterly new. He felt no fear at the sight of them, no sense of foreboding—only a slick dark fascination.

I’m looking at my future, he thought, and shivered with anticipation. It was a good future, he realized, an endless future, a place of unfathomable possibility.

But there's a price. Of course there is.

The Sickness wanted his soul.

No, Lussk told it. It’s too much. Even for what you offer, even for immortality itself, the price is too high.

A Sith with standards? Say it ain't so!  

I will make you the last one, the Sickness promised. Of all the others, you alone shall endure. That is what I have to offer you.

No.

The Sickness paused within him, considering. That is too bad, it said finally, because you no longer have a choice in the matter.

Yeah, it doesn't go well.

Also, turns out the zombies have a hive mind because the Sickness is controlling them all. So that's creepy, too. I’m not sure how all this works because this isn’t the sort of book to go in for explanations and world-building mechanics, so we’re just gonna roll with it.

The remaining students find the inevitable secret Sith weapon stash. The one female Sith, Kindra, is about to murder the asshole of the group, who's trying to off her in a power struggle because she won't give him a lightsaber, when they get interrupted and... you know what, I'm on her side here (inasmuch as I sympathize with any of these characters).

The Big Bad orders the tree librarian to use Psychic Plant Power to pretend to be the orchid and lure Zo to the library and bites him when he doesn't immediately comply. Zo and the bounty hunter fight zombies, and it all seems hopeless, but Zo hears her big brother's voice in her memory, and it powers her up for a big fight scene in bullet-time.

The tree librarian goes mad and sets the library on fire because the bite is infected with the Sickness. It's super metal.

Old fool, it had said, foolish old creature, your life has been wasted here among your books.

The Neti had tried to respond, to tell it no, that these scrolls and texts were his life, but the Sickness hadn’t shown the slightest bit of interest in that. It had more to say, and the Neti realized that he was a captive audience.

It’s not too late, the Sickness said. I have given you new life, and a new purpose, and you will know it if you seek my face. Will you, old tree? Will you seek my face?

What is it? the Neti asked. What is your face?

Mine is the face of blood and fire.

... The flesh is our fuel, the Sickness counseled, and its voice was like thunder now, and the books are our fuel, and this planet is our fuel, all things are fuel, they exist only so that they can be consumed by us.

Yes, yes—

They are meat for the beast.

Yes.

And the beast is you.

Yes.

This is literally how the virus thinks about everybody and everything and that's absolutely terrifying.

The Sith students get attacked, again. Interesting tidbit:

only Sith Masters can use Force lightning, how—

A bunch of zombies get electrocuted by Force lightning when a Sith Master shows up to "help". One of the students get injured, and turns into a zombie and gets electrocuted by the master.

The bounty hunter abandons Zo because she wants to go to the library because she thinks she hears the orchid calling her (we know it’s the now-evil Tree Librarian under Scabrous’s orders). So he goes exploring on his own instead.

The students must have used this place, he thought—some wit had left a handmade sign painted over the entranceway. It read:

WELCOME TO THE PAIN PIPE

Tulkh looked around. It appeared to be some kind of training simulation chamber, a wide, high space full of elaborately machined devices that protruded from the floor and walls, even down from the ceiling—pillars, pinions, retracted coils, and battering rams. But that quick impression was all that Tulkh was able to absorb before the hatch burst open behind him, allowing the flood of bodies to come spewing into the space with him.

Not without a sense of the absurd, thought:

Teenage Sith zombies, Tulkh thought—how in the moons of Bogden had it all started? Every so often, the universe must just get bored and decide to really cut loose.

UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR. Especially ironic since none of this would have happened if Tulkh hadn’t brought the orchid here, but I guess he’s not in a position to appreciate that.

Anyway, he finds Scabrous's droid:

“You’re an HK model.”

“Confirm: A Czerka Corp HK series, yes, sir, but—”

“You know what HK stands for?”

“Response: It’s an industry term, sir, but—”

“Hunter-killer.”

The droid made a scandalized chirp. “Correction: Respectfully, you’re mistaken, sir. I am a protocol droid. Proficient in millions of galactic languages and—”

“Czerka built you special to get around local laws banning assassin droids.” Tulkh was gritting his teeth now. “Those flip shields over your eyes—that’s a combat modification. When Scabrous brought you here, he put a restraining bolt on you, but if I do this—”

He yanked the bolt off. There was a brief, hissing sizzle as the HK’s processor muzzle shorted out. Tulkh felt his skin tighten, his fur standing on end. He cast a grim look at the droid. “Remember now?”

Wait, so the HK droid didn't realize it was an assassin, it thought it was a protocol droid? OH MY GOODNESS, THAT EXPLAINS SO MUCH, and I totally didn't catch that earlier. Okay, this is gonna be good, and by good, I mean, incredibly violent and probably full of explosions. 

The asshole student wants to kill the one female student because he's an asshole. They make her strip naked to prove she's not infected, because they're assholes--only for the master to reveal he's been infected the whole time. The asshole dies, Kindra survives, and shanks the one other survivor so the zombies will get him and not her. #PowerMove. Zo is going to be the Final Girl, but Kindra's made it surprisingly far. I bet the librarian is going to kill her, though, because of that conversation they had earlier.

Meanwhile, Zo is looking for the orchid:

Tulkh had refused to follow her here, leaving her to go alone. When she’d confronted him about it and said, Let me get this straight, you’ll walk into a Sith Lord’s tower, but you won’t go into a library, he’d merely nodded and planted his feet, telling her that he knew a trap when he saw one.

#accurate, since Darth Scabrous is waiting for her in the library. He's a medical monstrosity, because his face is still falling apart, but the Sith alchemy is keeping the Sickness at bay--for now. (Or is it?)

[fyrapartnersearch]

A sly correction!

Hello my lovelies!

Yes, it is me again, haha. I know I've just posted here on this blog not too long ago, but I realized a small mistake on my behalf that I want to correct!

My email was posted with a small error, hence why some couldn't message me in the first place!

Here's the correct address: gilgameshmercury@gmail.com

Also, I would like to add that I am also open to Harry Potter (Next Gen) roleplay!

Concerning original roleplays, we can surely discuss to see if we find anything we are both highly interested in. Mainly either supernatural, urban myth, demons, vampires, creatures of the night or mythological gods. (I can also be swayed for a dark medieval fantasy.. But more of a subtle sort of fantasy, similar to Berserk or Game of Thrones). 

In case you didn't get the chance to read or find my previous ad, I will post it here down below, just in case. Be sure to read through it thoroughly.

I have a strong penchant for including original characters and ideas that can be added to the pre-existing plot. Also very happy to expand on the given worlds and open to AU’s. Okay so I am a really big nerd when it comes to the supernatural, mysterious, urban myth and fantasy. Love combining those given elements with organised crime, complex characters, cataclysmic events and dark schemes that all unravels as time goes on. 

 A little about me. You must be at least 18+ of age if you want to start a roleplay with this gal here. Since I am in my twenties, I prefer maturer partners. I accept anyone, regardless male or female. What I expect is a decent (if not very good) grasp on grammar, the ability and will to write creatively, shoulder a great part of the plotting and responsibility as well as passion for roleplaying. Of course this should be seen as a fun hobby but I really like to invest… I wish for my partner / friend to take equal initiative. 
 Here are my cravings and guidelines! Even though they are limited, I made sure to filter out the ones I know I wouldn’t role-play anytime soon. So if you are interested in something I didn’t mention here, I am afraid I might not role-play this or decline. 

 Fandoms and cravings:

Castlevania ****

Devil May Cry ****

Game of Thrones ***

Witcher ***


Fate **


Star Wars ***


What it entails:
  Alright, so you are writing with some of a mature age. I have 11 years of writing experience when it comes to the game. This will be a fair warning that this request is not for the faint of heart. There will be violence, swearing, gore, intimate themes, uncomfortable subjects, drama, conflict and other dark matters included within the story. I have few limits but I will respect the boundaries of my partner, so do not shy away from telling me. Just so you know, I won’t fade to black or skip out on the nitty gritty. Go big or go home.  Interests: My line of interests are very electric when it comes to genres. I love conceiving my own lore inside a stories, be it an original or a pre-existing story. Gothic fantasy among others are one of my favorites. I am not opposed to tapping into science fiction, action, romance, crime, action or thriller genres, in fact I encourage it. Inspirations for me are Lovecraft, Hellsing, Blade, Underworld, etc. As for the fandom inspired RPs, I am more than willing to bend some rules and be a little indulgent. Writing: 3rd person perspective. My writing is wide-ranging and flexible, which means that frequently, word count will go up 1000+ per reply - though it highly depends on the given situation and partner. Quality over quantity as they say - but why not both? I love detail in description, and I am actively seeking someone of the same infamy. My partner should have a basic grasp on grammar, punctuation and somewhat of an interest in knowledgeable writing. I also double! (preferably, but we can always discuss whether it makes sense for our roleplay our not.) World building and sharing the burden: You should be active and help me shape the world around our characters. Even if we discuss many things during and before the roleplay, how we wish for things to play out and take its course, I am always happy to be surprised with a secret of my partner’s character I didn’t know before. You don’t need to lay out all your cards on the table… keep it a little mysterious and suspenseful. Just enough so we can work with the ideas, but not completely kill off the suspense. Characters: I write canon as well as OC characters. Faceclaims, GIFs, drawings, mood boards or just a plain physical description is absolutely sufficient. Whatever floats your boat when it comes to visualising your character and their backstory, I’m on board. Characters should be written as opulent, flawed, unique, talented, heroic, villainous, spiteful, angry, and everything in-between figures. In other words, don’t be scared of making them ‘human’, even when they are non-human. Romance: Openly play and accept characters of both genders, preferable m x f pairings, but I am open to m x m and f x f relationships as well. I have more experience with m x f relationships, so I might be more savvy with this one. If the chemistry of two characters compel me, I will ship them no matter what! When it comes to sexual scenarios and intimacy (intercourse, foreplay, all that jazz). I encourage erotism, but in a tasteful manner (that goes for romance as well). The passion must be felt through the screen, even if it’s just a mere description of someone’s deep train of thought. Content: Drama, violence, sex, metamorphosis, symbolism, action, romance, pretty much everything is a-okay. I am unbothered by certain subjects that may or may not be uncomfortable for the general public. Roleplays are fictional stories and we best keep viewing them as such. If there are things you are uncomfortable with, name them and I shall respect those boundaries. But don’t be surprised when suddenly one of our characters bites the dust, or gets tortured. It may be difficult to write and read, but it is all part of the story and furthering the plot. My roleplays imply and involve brutality, mayhem, psychological and physical torture as well as other things. But I also endorse beauty, serenity and placid moments, scenes or characters. I love it when it comes full circle… everyone- and everything has their beautiful and hideous side. Both should be embraced. Communication and friendship: OOC-chat friendly! I love meeting new people and making potential friends. Plus it strengthens the compatibility between us. Communication is the alpha and the omega. If there is something that bothers you, or if you think you are left out in some way (be it a mistake on my part or we’re both at fault here), don’t be scared of telling me. Really, it won’t be taken personally - since I know that we slip up every now and then, we’re only human after all. It is also completely sufficient if you only type out a few messages per week. I am super chill about it. It doesn’t bother me re-writing a scene to fit the narrative more. If there are mistakes, they can be corrected - just to get that out there. We can always exchange opinions and see what would benefit the story most. I will also voice my opinion should something arise that could be bothersome. World building and plotting: An active roleplayer is wanted without a doubt. Can’t do the thinking for two now. Let’s row this boat together. Limits: Subject matters I won’t touch are pedophilia, bestiality, necrophilia, vore, scat, furries and some other bizarre fetishes. Also no one-liners or text-talk messages. The sentences have to be cohesive, coherent and decently structured. 
 
Now a little more information about myself. I live in CET central Europe. My response rate varies throughout the weeks, depending on my schedule. 
I study at a university full time and work a job on the side and both are keeping me fairly busy. My writing will increase most likely during the weekends. If I should hit a hiatus, I will inform you as soon as possible. I understand when you are busy as well and are not able to respond, though I prefer if my partner does not ghost me. At least let me know what’s going on so I can adjust and put the roleplay on hold if needed!  
Mediums I roleplay on are email and googledocs. Though I also have Discord in case for OOC chat! Preferably my partner would message me first on email, giving me a brief description of themselves, their cravings as well as ideas. That way I can see if we’re compatible or if this bears any potential. After that we can easily move to Discord and carry out our chats / conversation there.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream: The Last Jedi review

It has been a year since I first saw this, and it has given me plenty of time to sort out my thoughts on it. This film was very divisive in my mind, as it has been to filmgoers at large; no two people seem to have the same take on it. Alex of IHE liked it and thought it got better with each viewing; Schaffrillas Productions thinks the movie is really stupid and fails at what it set out to do; and Doug Walker, AKA the Nostalgia Critic, is somewhere in the middle, saying it has some of the best Star Wars has to offer as well as some of the worst. And that isn’t even getting into fan response, with the ever-hyperbolic Star Wars fandom screaming for ages about how this is an utter travesty of filmmaking, and how the whole movie should be retconned, and so on.

Frankly, such hyperbole should just be dismissed entirely out of hand. If you honestly think this film is the worst Star Wars film, or even an objectively bad film in general, you either have lived a very sheltered life or do not know a thing about films or filmmaking. Now, does that mean I think this is a GOOD film? Well… no. I think I most agree with Doug Walker on this; the film has a lot of great stuff, a lot of stuff done better than every other Star Wars movie; but for every great thing, there is an unbelievably awful thing too, balancing out the movie into being a literal divisive work, with half the film being a great Star Wars entry and the other half being a stream of idiocy, fluff, and filler. And the most baffling part is it isn’t even hard to tell which parts are good and which aren’t the awful parts stick out uncomfortably. Say what you will about something like Jar Jar, he at least seemed somewhat plausible within the universe of Star Wars. But the casino on Canto Bright, and the weird space horses? It just feels too weird, too whimsical, too Harry Potter-esque for Star Wars.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. As far as story goes, we have this: Rey is off trying to convince the cranky hermit Luke Skywalker to train her, though this is easier said than done, as Luke seems rather content with milking alien walruses and just in general being a hermit to want to help her out. Meanwhile, the rebels are being chased down by the First Order, with Poe desperately trying to take command of the situation and his commanding officer not having any of it, which leads Poe to send Finn on a mission to find a way to sabotage the ships. This leads to Canto Bright as they search for a skilled hacker. Meanwhile, Rey is finding out she has a very interesting connection to Kylo Ren. There’s a lot going on this time in the galaxy far, far away, and it becomes unclear if things will come out on top for the rebels this time around.

So, let’s talk about what works first. The movie’s greatest strength is certainly the cinematography; this is hands down, indisputably, the best-looking Star Wars film to day. There are so many gorgeous, beautiful shots, so many scenes made better by the fantastic camera work. The presentation in this film is just top notch, and so much in this film is just a treat for the eyes. And the beauty isn’t just the shots, the actual lightsaber duels we get are easily some of the finest in the history of the franchise, with Rey and Kylo’s fight against the Praetorian Guards, as well as the final duel between Kylo and Luke on the salt field, moments like this deserve to be held up among the best in all of Star Wars history.

Then we have basically everything involving Luke, Rey, and Kylo Ren in this movie. The scenes revolving around these characters are the most engaging and interesting in the entire film. Luke especially is a fascinating character, Mark Hamill giving his all to the performance and showcasing the natural progression from a well-meaning but hotheaded young hero to a jaded, cynical hermit who has, like his master before him, put himself into self-imposed exile due to his failures. Rey and Kylo have an intriguing dynamic, and they get so much focus and development. A lot of the film focuses on Kylo, giving much-needed development, though unfortunately it does jettison a lot of what made him interesting in the precious film. Gone are his tantrums, struggle with the light side of the Force, and emulation of his grandfather… but in comes a performance from Adam Driver that I felt at some points emulated Javier Bardem’s from No Country for Old Men. Yes, Kylo Ren managed to be as terrifying and ruthless as Anton Chigurh.

But of course, there are a great deal of problems, namely anything in he film that doesn’t focus around the three aforementioned characters. Outside of the opening space battle, just about everything with the rebels is a tedious slog of a chase scene, with the First Order apparently never once considering speeding up a little bit to catch up with the rebel ships slowly running out of gas. Despite what some very sad, strange people on the internet might convince you, there’s no overtly political messaging in the dynamic between Poe and Holdo; the only thing there is just really poor writing, where two characters who should be smarter act ridiculously stupid for poorly defined reasons. It’s pretty telling when Leia, probably the only person in the rebellion with a cool head on her shoulders, gets taken out of commission for a large chunk of the film early on.

The film also wastes a lot of characters that were built up to be more important than they ended up being. Phasma is unceremoniously killed (or maybe not) after an extremely brief battle, to the point where reading this sentence will probably take more time than her appearance onscreen in this film. The hacker that Finn and his new partner rose find on Canto Bright, portrayed by Benicio Del Toro, seems like he might end up an interesting morally ambiguous figure, and up until his final appearance he offers some interesting characterization, but then he stabs Finn and Rose in the back and vanishes from the film. Still, neither of the previous examples are anything compared to what happened to Snoke, the mysterious evil emperor figure who corrupted Ben Solo into becoming Kylo Ren. Some have said they didn’t find Snoke interesting to begin with, and that his death wasn’t too bad of a move, but on the same token there is so little revealed about him despite the fact that he is integral to a major character’s backstory that he ends up feeling like a missed opportunity. The fact that he is played by Andy Serkis only compounds my irritation; why get such a fantastic actor to play a wasted character like this? I have much the same feeling towards the disrespectful usage of Max Von Sydow in The Force Awakens; pointlessly tossing great actors into minor, throwaway roles is utterly depressing when you think of what their talents could have added to the story.

But of course, I have saved the worst for last: Rose Tico and Canto Bright. He two go hand in hand, as Canto Bright is where Rose gets much of her screentime and development with Finn. Canto Bright is a very odd locale, featuring a shiny casino and weird alien horses. The whole tone of the place is far too whimsical and jarring for the film it’s in, and it ends up badly clashing with the other scenes. It also ends up hogging a lot of screentime from the far more interesting and intriguing plot with Rey and Luke. The biggest issue, though, is how pointless the entire venture ends up being, as after all they go through, they end up failing miserably, which leads to a lot of the issues in the film’s final third. The whole thing ends up just being a pointless diversion from the more interesting plot and comes off as a way to pad out the runtime with hamfisted morals and glurge.

And then we have Rose, who, in this film anyway, is probably the least likable character in any Star Wars film. She is utterly bland and uninteresting as a character, which is a shame as her sister, a character with limited screentime who only appears in the opening before dying, was far more interesting in the few minutes she was onscreen than Rose is in her entirety. The biggest problem with Rose is that she almost feels like a fan insert character, with how she gushes over Finn at first and gets to kiss him at the end despite the two having rather mediocre chemistry. Said kiss also comes after a moment where she ruins a moment that could have been an excellent culmination of Finn’s character arc and been a hugely subversive and expectation-defying moment, and then utters the most vomit-inducingly bad line in Star Wars history: "That's how we're gonna win. Not fighting what we hate, but saving what we love." Nothing about this line works, makes sense, or does anything but make the viewer cringe hard. This is worse than Anakin’s comments about sand, worse than anything in the prequels really, and I don’t think this is hyperbolic in the slightest, since we have had over a decade and a lack of George Lucas involvement to fine-tune scripts and not deliver lines that sound like they belong in a Hallmark special.

Overall, the film absolutely fails to do what it sets out to do: deliver a subversive film that defies audience expectations. Nothing in the film really subverts or plays with audience expectations in a positive way; all of the big subversions come from characters acting as insanely stupid as possible, and they all come from a dull plotline that hogs the screentime from the far more intriguing plotline. The Rey/Luke/Kylo stuff in this movie is easily some of the best and most engaging Star Wars content to date, but it gets shoved aside far too often, and a lot of elements of it seem to be left hanging. Built up elements like Rey’s parents, Snoke, and Phasma are unceremoniously dropped in frankly insulting ways, and at the end of the movie everyone is basically at the spot they were at at the end of the first one.

And that, right there, is my true issue with the film: it all feels very pointless. The heroes accomplish next to nothing, and the overall effects on the franchise are utterly minor. This is a Star Wars film I could almost say you could skip when viewing them for how little it adds… but what little it does add is really good and essential. This is definitely a movie that home viewing will make better, since at home you can skip through the awful Canto Bright and rebel chase sequences to get to the good stuff. The lightspeed ram, the Praetorian duel, Luke and Kylo’s confrontation… all of that stuff is worth seeing.

Ultimately, the film is neither really good nor bad. It’s just a mixed bag that is not nearly as subversive or expectation-defying as a contemporary blockbuster film like Infinity War or even an older film like The Empire Strikes Back. What it does succeed at is delivering a visually stunning film with excellent character dynamics between the three big players. So, it is easy to see why the film is divisive, but it is impossible to see why people could possibly write the film off as the “Worst ever” or “a film so bad it should be retconned.” If you honestly believe this film is so utterly, irredeemably awful, I frankly don’t think your opinions on film are worth much. If you think the film isn’t so good but at least can find a few things to respect in it, well, I find that a far more respectable position than the blind, frothing-at-the-mouth hatred the film has gotten. It really doesn’t deserve it, though it also doesn’t deserve to be held up as the gold standard of Star Wars films either. It does contain some of the worst moments, if not exactly the absolute worst, in the history of the franchise, after all. But on the same token, it contains some of the absolute best, top ten or twenty best moments of the franchise as well. To write the film off or to praise it blindly as a masterpiece are equally foolhardy decisions.

The way this film wraps up leaves me wondering what could possibly be done for the next film; I have no idea where the series could possibly go, and it fills me with a sense of worry and of suspense. The future of Star Wars is uncertain, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned after being a lifelong fan of the franchise, it’s that Star Wars always finds a way to come out on top eventually.

[aion-rsa]

Star Trek: Ranking the Stories Set in the Present Day

https://ift.tt/3Eu4Xd0

So the new Star Trek: Picard trailer has dropped and among the big plot twists it revealed are the fact that Picard & Co are going to be travelling back to Earth, circa 2022 AD. We’re looking forward to exciting scenes of people from the 24th century being unable to drive cars (despite the pretty lengthy car chase we saw in the last episode of Star Trek: Lower Decks), Q and Picard sparring again, and wondering how Guinan fits into all this. My personal theory is that after her adventures with Picard and Mark Twain in the 19th century, Guinan decided to stick around on Earth, eventually posing as an actor called Whoopi Goldberg.

This is far from the first time Star Trek has travelled back to the present day – even if “present day” is pretty broad for the 55-year-old franchise. We have no way of knowing why the series keeps returning to this setting that doesn’t need the manufacture of any new props, sets or costumes, but it seems like a good time to look at when Star Trek has done this before and ask “Who wore it better?”

6. Assignment: Earth

This episode would prove to be a particularly tricky one for nearly every single time travel episode that has come since, in that it shows time travel for the Federation is so easy and routine that the Enterprise can just nip back to the Cold War to see why we never Great Filtered ourselves out of existence. Unfortunately, in this episode Kirk and Spock don’t get to see much of 20th century Earth, or indeed do much of anything.

‘Assignment: Earth’ was conceived as a backdoor pilot for a new series about Gary Seven, a human bred and raised by aliens to act as a secret agent on Earth and protect us from our own capacity for self-destruction. This means Kirk and Spock’s role is little more than to sit around and say “Wow, this looks like a great idea for a television show!”

Still, I can’t help but wonder about a Star Trek franchise in the parallel universe where its first spin-off was a spy show set in 1968.

5. Carpenter Street

This episode of Star Trek: Enterprise stands out because it is perhaps the only episode on this list where they decided the present day should be filmed any differently from the space future. The lighting, the camera work, the whole episode feels much more like Angel, or a cop show from the period than the Star Trek style that had been uniformly adopted since The Next Generation.

Usually when Star Trek comes back to our time it is to take us on ‘a romp’, where people point out Starfleet uniforms look like pyjamas and the crew go around misunderstanding pop culture references. This, however, feels like Star Trek invading a much grittier show.

Unfortunately, you can tell that this is a network science fiction show trying to show how adult and gritty it is, because within the first ten minutes of the episode we see a sex worker abducted. Maybe one day science fiction shows will find a way to show that they are proper grown-ups without a drive-by or disposable sex worker character appearing in the first ten minutes, but ‘Carpenter Street’ is not that show.

The other thing Star Trek’s forays into our century do is emphasise how far humanity has come, or still has to travel. This is where ‘Carpenter Street’ really falls down. Because this was Enterprise’s dark, post-9/11 Xindi storyline, we see Archer literally beat information out of someone – not for the first time in this season. It’s a scene that highlights everything that’s wrong with this version of Star Trek.

It’s also the bringer of bad news, as at one point T’Pol asks about fossil fuels to be told that “It’s not until 2061 that…”

The sentence is left incomplete, but that sounds like bad news for our 2050 emissions targets.

4. Tomorrow is Yesterday

This is Star Trek’s first trip back to the 20th century, and it sets the rules for so much that comes later. Agonising about changing the future, having modern day characters remark on how silly everything is, Star Trek characters being taken prisoner and taking the piss out of their interrogators. The formula is refined in many ways from here on, but the ingredients are established here.

It also establishes, as ‘Assignment: Earth’ later confirms, that any ordinary warp-capable ship can perform a manoeuvre to travel forward or backward in time at will, a plot device most of the Star Trek canon has heroically stuck its fingers in its ears and shut its eyes to avoid.

The main reason this entry doesn’t rank higher is that the action is almost entirely confined to US military bases, denying us the fun of seeing our favourite Starfleet officers wandering around our day-to-day world as if it’s the Planet of the Week.

Read more

TV

Star Trek: Enterprise – An Oral History of Starfleet’s First Adventure

By Ed Gross

TV

Star Trek: Picard Season 2 is an “Encounter at Farpoint” Sequel

By Ryan Britt

3. Future’s End

This Star Trek: Voyager two-parter, on the other hand, gives us that in spades. It knows what the fans want and it is here to give you a big steaming bowl of it. Neelix and Kes watching daytime soaps? Check. Tuvok having to ensure he wears a beanie at all times? Check. Paris getting his 20th century history and slang hilariously wrong? Check. An oddly jarring turn by a young, pre-comedy stardom Sarah Silverman? Okay, maybe you weren’t asking for that, but check!

It even throws us some subtle continuity porn to argue over. In Sarah Silverman’s office we see a model of the launch configuration of a DY-100 class ship- the ship used by Khan Noonien Singh to escape justice following the Eugenics Wars that were supposed to happen in the mid-nineties.

This is more than just an Easter egg (unlike, we’re assuming, the Talosian action figure on Sarah Silverman’s desk). Over the course of the episode we learn that the entire microprocess revolution that created the world we know and love was the result of stolen 29th century tech.

Does this mean history was changed? That all Star Trek following this episode takes place in a divergent timeline where the Eugenics Wars never happened? This has some fascinating connotations that we will touch upon later in the article, and which I will explain to you at length after precisely one and a half pints.

The episode does have its weak points however – Voyager being seen on national television never seems to go anywhere, and neither does the whole subplot where Chakotay and Torres end up prisoner in a survivalist compound for a bit.

As we’ve already mentioned, there’s also a lot of agonising about how Voyager will get to the present, when we already know that they just need to whip around the sun at warp speed and boom, the series is over.

Oh, and this is an extremely minor gripe, but Janeway tells us she has no idea what her ancestors were doing in this time period – despite subjecting us to the tedium of her story in ‘Millennium Gate’ which was set only four years after this.

2. Past Tense

This episode might be considered a cheat, since at time of broadcast it was technically set in the future. However, since it (along with Irish Reunification) is supposed to take place three years on from now, I think we can say it counts.

This Deep Space Nine story is decidedly not ‘a romp’. Yes people make fun of the characters’ clothes, and Kira and O’Brien’s jaunts through history raise a smile, but more than all but a select number of Star Trek stories, this is about just how far our reality is from the hoped-for future of Star Trek.

Bashir lands some lines that hit quite a bit heavier now than they did in the nineties, from “The 21st century is not one of my strong points – too depressing” to the plaintive “How could they have let things get so bad?” at the story’s conclusion.

And while it is set over twenty years in the future from the perspective of the broadcast date, it wasn’t far off. Stories evocative of the sanctuary districts are easy to find, and as writer Robert Hewitt Wolfe says, “We weren’t being predictive. We were just looking out our windows in the ’90s.”

Only two things really mark this episode out as an anachronism. One, the technology looks painfully 90s – our technology looks far closer to the 24th century than the bulky monitors seen everywhere in this. But then again, this episode was broadcast prior to ‘Future’s End’, so maybe Henry Starling hadn’t kickstarted the microprocessor revolution in this timeline yet.

The other, far grimmer element to have dated is the idea that one innocent black person being shot by police could be enough to cause the sea change this episode says it does.

1. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

There wasn’t ever really going to be any debate over this, was there? Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home is hands down the one to beat if you’re writing Star Trek characters travelling to the present day. The film itself was something of a departure for the franchise. Rather than Robert Wise’s epic, sombre, proper science fiction in The Motion Picture, or the bombastic action of Nicholas Meyer’s Wrath of Khan, The Voyage Home was helmed by a director who would be best known for the cult comedy, Three Men & a Baby.

This 20th century feels far more inhabited than other portrayals, with screen time being given over to casual conversations between bin men, and workplace arguments independent of the former Enterprise crew.

Of course, by now the crew of 1701-no-bloody-A-B-C-or-D should be old hands at Earth in the 20th century. This is their fourth trip here, not counting planets-that-mysteriously-resemble-Earth-in-the-20th-century.

But these fish are never more out of water than they are in this film, and the results are charming. Kirk explaining swearing to Spock, Kirk observing people “still use money”, Chekov standing in the middle of the street asking for directions to the “Nuclear Wessels”, Scotty’s “Hello Computer!” and Kirk Thatcher getting nerve-pinched for listening to his own music on a ghetto blaster. Plus countless more zingers, sight gags and throwaway lines that I’m still finding new ones of after many, many re-watches.

And the cast are clearly having the time of their lives. Shatner’s comic talent was always on display, but in this movie he is really allowed to cut it fully loose giving reaction shots that make you feel bad about every time you mocked his acting.

But no matter how silly it gets, this film knows, more than any other, the point of sending Star Trek characters into the modern day. It is to show us the difference between our ideal selves and where we are – and it does it no less starkly than ‘Past Tense’. With a light comic touch, Kirk and co. encounter capitalism, the spectre of nuclear war, and most of all, the devastating environmental impact we’re having. Even if we reach the ideal Star Trek future, this film says, we could still lose things we can’t replace along the way.

Star Trek: Picard is going to have to work hard if it wants to walk in its footsteps.

Honourable Mentions

While not taking place in the present day, it’d be remiss of this article not to mention ‘City on the Edge of Forever’, which refined ‘Tomorrow is Yesterday’s formula and is just one of the all-out best Star Trek series ever, and ‘Little Green Men’, which twists the usual Starfleet-in-the-20th-century formula by having the Ferengi arrive in the 20th century and find humans far more brutal, greedy and stupid than even they suspected.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Also, I don’t want to alarm you, but by the end of this decade we’ll be closer to the events of Star Trek: First Contact than we are to the release of Star Trek: First Contact.

The post Star Trek: Ranking the Stories Set in the Present Day appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3hzk0s5

[red-applesith]

I love this one! Thanks @villainous-surrender for tagging me!

Here are the rules:

1. Post the rules.

2. Answer the questions given to you by the tagger.

3. Post 11 questions of your own.

4. Tag 11 people.

@villainous-surrender asked me the following questions:

1. Are you a fan of the Rey Kenobi theory? Why/why not?

I would have been fine with Rey Kenobi (because who wouldn’t want Ewan Mc Gregor as Rey’s grandpa?) but tbh of all the Rey parentage theories, I was more attracted to Rey Palpatine and Rey Nobody. 

2. Other Star Wars pairings that you are a fan of?

I have no issues with any SW pairings (canon or not) but I’m not invested in any of them if that’s the question. 

3. When did you first start shipping reylo and why?

December 2015, after my first viewing, although I’m not a shipper at heart so it took me 4 viewings to sort of process my emotions. 

I instantly latched onto the mythological aspect of Rey and Kylo’s relationship but I also loved how the writers had subverted the gender dynamic between the two characters, and that’s what really sealed the deal for me. It also took me a few months to process and accept what I had seen inside Kylo’s character. When you’ve been living in denial for 30 years it’s scary to open up.   

4. Are there other hero/villain pairings that you like? I’ll give you my first ship and one of my favorites: batcat.

Hum, not really, but kinda yes at the same time? I was into Marauder area Snupin when I was younger so it kinda fits the profile? 

5. After watching Episode VIII, do you honestly believe Rey and Kylo will have a happy ending? Why/why not?

Yes. Because the seeds have been planted for them to have a reconciliation and I have a theory about how we can save Ben Solo’s neck (I am DYING to share my ideas, but it’s the whole plot of the fanfic I’m writing so I don’t want to discuss it beforehand lol). Also, Kathleen Kennedy confirmed multiple times that SW is about HOPE. There’s no point in having those two characters being killed off or separated at the end of 9.   

6. List one thing you really liked about TLJ and one thing you didn’t.

Liked: Obviously Reylo. I mean, I’m one of those obnoxious shippers who never doubted it was canon and endgame but at the same time, I expected to see their relationship bloom in 9, not within the first twenty minutes of TLJ. XD I was over the moon. Also, I am so vindicated that ‘my’ reylo is canon (depressed, self-loathing Kylo & wide-eyed not-so-farting-rainbows-Rey.)

Didn’t like: I guess Leia in space is the bit that threw me off a little, especially the first time. I’m glad that we were given the opportunity to witness how strong she is with the Force but it does feel OTT. 

Other than that, I can’t say I hated any other aspect of the movie because it carries messages that I strongly believe in.

7. Who is your favorite Star Wars character (that also isn’t one of the main characters in this trilogy or past ones)?

HK-47, you can tell he was written by David Gaider. <3

8. Which do you prefer: dark!reylo, reyben (redeemed!Ben Solo), or gray jedi?

Gray/Prime Jedi is my jam. Gimme balance, reconciliation, healing, and acceptance that your dark impulses are natural. 

9. What do you think about Kylo’s whole “I will finish what my grandfather started!” Why do you think this is one of his main motivations, and do you think he doesn’t know that Anakin was redeemed in the end?

Ah! That sentence is so meta, I love it <3. 

But okay, to me, in the context of the movie (aka what Kylo is actually thinking), it means ending the Jedi once and for all - because that was a big part of Darth Vader’s job. There’s also this misconception that Tuanul village was a settlers compound when the villagers were actually cultists of the Church of the Force. They were religious opponents to Ren, which explains why he treated them as war enemies. The Church of the Force and Lor San Tekka are really intent on bringing back the Jedi Order, which obviously goes against Kylo’s spiritual beliefs (also when a Jedi tried to kill you in your sleep, you’re probably not inclined to believe they’re the good guys.)

As for what Kylo really knows about Vader, I think that it’s pretty distorted. From Bloodline, we know he wasn’t aware that Vader was his grandfather until late, meaning his family lied to him all his life. We can safely assume that after that, he would take whatever information they fed him about Vader and the Empire with a grain of salt. This leaves Snoke, as his sole purveyor of information, which also explains why Kylo in TFA is so obsessed with connecting with objects belonging to Vader. As a Force user, that’s probably his sole source of “reliable” (ahem) information. 

10.  If you were a character in the SW universe, what kind of person do you think you would be? A Jedi? A stormtrooper? A PORG?!?

I would like to be a powerful Force-sensitive warrior of some sort and that’s why I really hope Rey and Kylo are going to go down the Prime Jedi route. I would be a pretty poor Jedi but I couldn’t be a Sith. But with my luck, if I was reincarnated as a Star Wars character, I’d probably be a slave on a backwater planet or a fathier.

11. And finally: Are you a writer, artist, or just here for the fun? If you are either a writer or artist, what inspires you the most in this fandom?

I've been dabbling in a bit of everything, although no one ever picks me in either fanfic writers, fanartists or meta writers lists (You’re all hurting my 3 feelings guyz!) 

The dynamic between Rey and Kylo is what inspires me the most. Even when writing modern AUs I try to stay true to their characterization and what motivates them. I’m in love ‘kay?

My questions:

Rate the Star Wars movies in order, from your favourite to least favourite.

What’s your true opinion on Anakin? Victim of circumstances or little shit? Bit of both?

Darth Maul: Hot or Nope? 

What’s your favourite Reylo moment in canon, and why?

What’s your favourite Reylo trope/moment in fandom? (can be a scene from a specific fanfic or something general)

Is there anything you’d written differently if you were working on Star Wars since 1977?

Can you believe we were given the gift of shirtless Kylo on the big screen?

What’s your ideal Reylo ending? (marriage, exile, babies, tragic death,...)

Do you have something in common with Rey?

Do you have something in common with Kylo Ren/Ben Solo?

What is the (N)SFW Reylo headcanon you will defend to the death?

I tag: @kuresoto @i-am-thesenate @personalphilosophie @solikerez @lariren-shadow @punkeraa @shieldmaidenfreda @leofgyth @ridingbensolo @somaybelikeno @cosetteskywalker

[ed-edward-blackbeard]

@rootingformephistopheles posted a looooooooooong list of fanfiction questions right here.

I answered every damn one of them before I realized it was probably meant to be an askbox thing.  SO, here you fuckers go.  (it’s five pages long, wtf.  so it’s under a readmore to save your dashboard)

Fanfiction Questions

Fandom Questions

 1. What was the first fandom you got involved in?

Xenaverse, including Hercules: the Legendary Journeys.  I did PBeM (play by email) role play, and then moved to fanfic, and then slash fanfic.

2. What is your latest fandom?

I have three, technically.  Doctor Who, Hannibal, and Gotham

3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in?

Hannibal.  Fannibals are the best, by 100 miles.  I’m sure there’s bad parts of the fandom, I’ve just never yet run across them.  

4. Do you regret getting involved in any fandoms?

As far as the people go? Highlander.  There was a lot of overlap, at the time, with The Sentinel, both shows I enjoyed.  I just feel like there were a lot of assholes in the Highlander fandom who disliked me and my writing because of the people I was friends with, not because I sucked (and believe me, I did.  I have the fic to prove it.)  

5. Which fandoms have your written fanfiction for?

From my AO3 dashboard:

Smallville --  The Sentinel -- Hannibal (TV) -- Doctor Who (2005) -- Supernatural -- Buffy the Vampire Slayer -- Veronica Mars -- Stargate SG-1 -- Actor RPF -- Charlie Countryman/Spacedogs -- Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling -- Adam (2009)/Spacedogs – Brimstone -- Supernatural RPF  -- Stargate Atlantis -- Yami No Matsuei | Descendants of Darkness -- The Fast and the Furious (2001) -- Sherlock (TV) -- The Blair Witch Project (1999) -- Star Trek: The Original Series -- Sense and Sensibility (1995) --  Law & Order: SVU -- Lost Boys (Movies) -- Watchmen (2009) -- Lost (1) -- Smallville RPF -- Marvel Cinematic Universe (1) --  Gargoyles (TV) -- Dogma (1999)

6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

Oh my fucking God. Okay, here goes:

Xena/Ares and Xena/Autolycus, Xenaverse; Clark/Lex and Lionel/Chloe, Smallville; Jim Ellison/Blair Sandburg, the Sentinel; Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham, Hannibal; Doctor/Rose, Nine/Rose/Jack, Doctor Who; Dean/Sam, Supernatural; Buffy/Spike, Giles/Ethan, Spike/Angel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer; Logan Echolls/Veronica Mars, John Winchester/Veronica Mars, Veronica Mars; Jack O’Neill/Daniel Jackson, Stargate SG-1; Ezekiel/Lucifer, Brimstone; John/Rodney, Stargate Atlantis; Muraki x Tsuzuki, Yami No Matsuei; Dom/Brian, the Fast and the Furious; John Watson/Sherlock Holmes, BBC Sherlock; Nigel Lupei/Adam Raki, Spacedogs; Kirk/Spock, Star Trek; Christopher Brandon/Eleanor Dashwood, Sense and Sensibility; Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson, Law & Order SVU; Elisa Maza/Goliath, Gargoyles.

7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

I don’t really have NoTPs in the fandoms I’ve written in.  I have a few NoTPs in general, though, although I’m not listing them here because wow, would I cause some hurt feelings.

8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom?

I saw the gifsets from The Wrath of the Lamb, and I saw the name Hannibal Lecter being bandied about, and I fell in love because I’ve loved Hannibal Lecter ever since Red Dragon.  I don’t know how I missed out on hearing about the show when it first came out, but holy hell, am I sorry.  I’ve been a Fannibal ever since.  It was the same story with Gotham.  I’d actively avoided Gotham because of the debacle of Smallville, but it was the Nygmobblepot gifs and Oswald Cobblepot/Penguin that finally drew me in.

 9. What are the best things about your current fandom?

Fannibals are fucking awesome, yo.  They’re the best thing about the fandom; hell, they *are* the fandom.  I love them all, every one.  From well-thought out meta to cracked out gifsets to the supportive fanfic community.  It’s amazing.

10.  Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in?

Because I write, I try not to read a lot, because I don’t want to accidentally crib from someone else’s story, or steal someone else’s idea, because I know what it’s like to pour your life into things.

 Ship Questions for your Current Fandom

 11. Who is your current OTP?

Hannibal/Will, Doctor/Rose, and Oswald/Edward

 12. Who is your current OT3?

Nine/Jack/Rose. That’s pretty much it.

 13. Any NoTPs?

None I’ll share.

 14. Go on, who are your BroTPs?

Jim Gordon/Harvey Bullock, and I’m sure there’s more that I can’t think of right now. 

 15. Is there an obscure ship which you love?

I think I’m probably the only person who actually ships it, but John Winchester/Veronica Mars.

16. Are there any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike?

Destiel.  I dislike Destiel with a passion.  Ditto Barisi.  That’s about it.

17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favourite?

Ares/Strife.  They’re not my favorite by any means, but I still have a huge soft spot for them.  

 18. What ship have you written the most about?

uh, probably Clark/Lex or Jim/Blair, just due to the length of time I was in both fandoms.  

 19. Is there a ship which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?

Destiel and Barisi. They’re popular ships shipped by some people I really like, but I just can’t get behind them.  It’s a knee-jerk thing.  I can’t even really voice why I dislike them as much as I do, I just do.

 20. Any ships which you surprised yourself by liking?

Nygmobblepot, actually. I didn’t think I was going to like anything in Gotham, much less the Penguin and the Riddler, but damned if I don’t love it so much I’m actually writing about it as we speak.  

Author Questions

 21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote?

Detested Sport, it was from a Shakespeare quote, I think, and it was Ares/Strife. I think it’s lost to the world, thank fucking God.

22. Is there anything you regret writing?

Writing?  No.  Sharing? Yes.  It’s called “My Soul’s Imaginary Sight,” and it’s the first time I used an OC, Meravin, who has gone through about a billion evolutions since, and has ended up as a Star Wars OC named Sheridan.  I wish I hadn’t shared it, because while it was a definitely needed step in my development as a writer, it’s such a blatant self-insert Mary Sue that I really regret sharing it.

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

Shoah.  It’s a Sentinel fic, written for one of the “Many Faces Of…” edition of My Mongoose e-zines.  I think it was MFO Jim.  But it’s an AU set during the Holocaust, in one of the concentration camps.  It’s not a particularly cheerful story, and the writing process was terrible.  I did so much research trying to make it honest to the experience that I spent whole evenings crying in chat windows with my friends Lisa and Patt, who basically hand-held me through the worst of it.  But I’m inordinately fond of it, because of the work that went into it, and of how it came out.  It’s not my best writing, by a long shot, but I think it’s probably my most emotional and evocative.

24. What fic do you desperately need to rewrite or edit?

Pretty much everything prior to my Doctor Who fic.  I’m very critical of my earlier works.

 25. What’s your most popular fanfic?

A recent one, Consortio, an ABO Hannigram sort-of Medieval-ish handwavey AU.  

26. How do you come up with your fanfic titles?

Quotations, song lyrics, poetry, Shakespeare, sometimes pulled out of my ass.

 27. What do you hate more: Coming up with titles or writing summaries?

SUMMARIES, JESUS CHRIST, SAVE ME FROM SUMMARIES.

 28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of?

Dealer’s choice, really. I’d just be thrilled for anybody to pick SOMETHING.  

 29. Do you have a beta reader? Why/Why not?

I do not, although I fear I need one for Gotham.  It’s more a personal choice than anything else.  I’ve got a particular style that doesn’t always mesh well with taking concrit, and while my grammar is very… erratic, at times (stuff it, I love my commas as you can tell), I feel like I should be the arbiter of what I create.

 30. What inspires you to write?

Practically anything. Songs, less often.  TV shows of the source material, obviously.  Movies, sometimes.  Random quotes, what ifs, conversations with friends, AU lists, prompt lists, sentence starters…

 31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?

It’s from a writer named Mysenia on my fic Consortio:  “All the kudos! Just re-read this story, and I loved it every bit as much as I did the first time :D”  Because that’s honestly the first time anyone has mentioned re-reading something of mine in the comment, and it made me so happy for DAYS

 32. Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?

Actually, it depends on what I’m writing.  If I’m working on writing sex, then I need dance music, which I usually abhor.  I find the Matrix soundtracks work really well, as do Rammstein albums.  If I’m doing emotional/angsty things, then Meat Loaf is my go-to.  Otherwise, it’s kind of a mish-mash.  My music folders are here, on my Google drive, if anyone is really interested in anything I listen to.

 33. Do you write oneshots, multi-chapter fics or huuuuuge epics?

Mostly one-shots, although I’ve been known to do a chaptered fic/series once in a while.

 34. What’s the word count on your longest fic?

7,706 on “The Masks We Wear.”  I’ve got a series of fics that is 35,498, over about fifteen different stories.  Consortio and Kastytis are both chaptered, so they don’t count.  Consortio is 23,088 and Kastytis is 24,706

 35. Do you write drabbles? If so, what do you normally write them about?

Strictly 100 word pieces? Not any more.  I used to write for drabble challenges, but I can never stay within the word limit any more.  If you mean 200 words or less drabble-ishes, then yes, I do write those.  About a lot of things, really.  

36. What’s your favourite genre to write?

I’m kind of fond of first-times, although that’s not a given.  I don’t tend to stick to any one given genre.

37. First person or third person - what do you write in and why?

Third, unless it’s some VERY special occasion.  First person drives me nuts.  I love the Hunger Games books, but seeing things as Katniss gives me hives from time to time.  

38. Do you use established canon characters or do you create OCs?

I’ve done both, actually, although 99% of my OC writing stays private.  Which is sometimes a pity, because I think I’ve written some pretty good shit with some of my OCs.

39. What is your greatest strength as a writer?

I don’t know that I really have one.

 40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing?

Staying in character, finishing what I start.

 Fanfiction Questions

 41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:

I’m not reading anything right now.  Except Stephen King’s IT

42. List and link to 5 fanfiction authors who are amazing:

Just five?  @slashyrogue, @damnslippyplanet, @granpappy-winchester, @mummyholmesisupset, @moku-youbi

43. Is there anyone in your fandom who really inspires you?

@bonearenaofmyskull, @crossroadscastiel, @bu0nanotte, @granpappy-winchester, @moku-youbi

44. What ship do you feel needs more attention?

All of them.

45. What is your all time favourite fanfic?

Home and Dry by @moku-youbi

46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?

Consortio, or Kastytis. They’re both Hannigram AUs, and I feel like they’re the best examples of my writing style.

47. Archive Of Our Own, Fanfiction.net or Tumblr - where do you prefer to post and why?

AO3 and Wonderful World of Make Believe, where I am woefully behind.  But AO3, because I enjoy having everything in one place, easy to use dashboard and posting interface, and it’s pre-sorted for me.

48. Do you leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why/Why not?

Mostly I do, because I know how valuable the reviews are to writers.  I try and speak to what I liked best about the story, or how it moved me.

49. Do you care if people comment/reblog your writing? Why/why not?

I don’t want to care, but I do.  I want the validation, dammit.

50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

I eased into it by way of RP.  Play by email was my thing, and I loved reading threads strung together, which was basically fanfiction.  Then a friend of mine introduced me to Ares/Joxer slash, and I’ve just gone from there.  I’ve always written it, as long as I can remember, even though I didn’t know that’s what it was called.  

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

The one thing I hate in the world of fanfiction is the kind of elitism that is absolutely bullshit. As a writer, if you don’t write the pairing du jour, or the kind of thing that the fandom at large is clamoring for (RPF, AU, ABO, ten thousand other different things) then you don’t get a bit of recognition no matter how good you are.  Hannibal fandom is the first time that I’ve not seen this.  This is the only fandom that I know of where an author can write what they want to write and still be recognized for it.  

[sage-nebula]

Hydrangea and Lavender

Hydrangea: What inspired you to begin writing in the first place?

Hah, well, there were three stages to this!

The first story I ever wrote, as embarrassing as it may be to admit this, was Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog fanfiction when I was in first grade. We had an assignment to write a story about anything we wanted, and, well, that’s what I wrote. I was super jazzed when we were first given the assignment because I loved reading and making up stories, and I enjoyed every second of writing it. I even drew some really bad illustrations to go with it. I mean, the story itself was bad too, I’m sure, but I was also about six or seven years old, so … I can be excused, I think. Either way, I knew at that point that I loved creating stories, although since I was so young it hadn’t really clicked in my head yet that I, too, could write books of my very own.

Fast forward to fifth grade. Stages two and three took place in that year. The first stage was when I was still attending my first elementary school, before I moved, and I was once again given a creative writing assignment. At my first elementary school, the fifth graders would write a short book every year that would be hard-bound and put in the school library. I was super mega psyched about this, because I had recently beaten The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask and I wanted to write a sequel to it. (Note: My sequel idea was horrendous, good god, self. But again, I was ten, so I think I can cut myself some slack.) My teacher vetoed this idea, saying that it was plagiarism to write a Zelda story, which I was very offended by because, hey, I was making the plot and the words all by myself, that’s not plagiarism! Either way, I moved out of state before the project ever came to fruition anyway, but my first fifth grade teacher and I both clearly had very different ideas on the legitimacy of fanfiction.

Either way, I moved out of state for the spring semester, and at my new elementary school I met a boy who … you know those kids who would always brag about having super famous relatives or whatever to seem cool? He was one of those. He found out that I really liked video games, and although I was a huge outcast nerd that no one actually liked (trust me, I was very unpopular, I’m not exaggerating), he made up this whole story to me about how his uncle worked at Nintendo and was looking for new game ideas and that, if I gave him one, he’d pass it along to his uncle and it would get made.

And I, dumbass ten-year-old that I was, fell for it.

So I spent ages writing in a notebook, coming up with this game that was basically a Zelda rip-off, except the protagonist was a girl, had a dragon that she rode around on, there was no princess (although there were four female oracles to represent each season who were basically like royalty / demigoddesses), and there were fifty temples. No, really, I had conceived something like fifty temples because I was sad that my games ended and wanted one that would last FOREVER. Anyway, when I finally had all of these (terrible) ideas written down I took them to the boy, who then told me that, oops, the deadline had passed. I got upset because he had never told me there was a deadline, but it had passed and there was nothing that could be done. I spent some time being bummed about this (I put in all that work) before I realized … wait a second … I could turn this into a book … I could write this …

And that, my friend, is when it finally clicked in my thick head that I could write my very own books and when The Dream™ to become a published and beloved author was born. My original plan, when I was an idiot child, was to have a book published right away. I am now twenty-seven and feel I am not even close to that, but I also feel that I’ve improved a lot, and I do have my original fiction project that I’m working on, so … maybe someday. I hope. I dream. Please let it happen, universe. (In truth the universe can’t let anything happen. This power lies within me. I just have to utilize it. I must.)

Anyway, I know it might seem like all I write is fanfic, but I do have that original project as well. Fanfiction just helps keep me in practice … when I actually write it, anyway. I have got to get back in the groove.

Lavender: What is the most important thing to you as a writer?

HMMMM, I don’t know if there really one “most important thing”. I mean, when it comes to actually constructing the narrative, I feel like there are two main things:

The sentences — These are the framework of the story. They have to have the right amount of snap to keep the reader engaged. It doesn’t matter how creative your ideas are; if your sentences are garbage, your reader will not be able to get through the story. You have to have the mechanics down in order to get the story told, and so the sentence quality is massively important.

The characters — Your story is nothing without fantastic characters. You can have a myriad of plot twists and beautiful themes, but if your characters are boring, flat, or exist purely to be tropes or devices, your story is going to be tossed aside in no time at all. Further, your characters are what carry your plot; if they’re not strong enough to carry the plot, the plot will not be strong enough to support the reader for the entire ride. Really allow your characters to shine; they are what make the plot in the first place.

The second one also contains things like character development, relationships, dialogue, overall characterization, et cetera. All of those things are incredibly important.

Don’t get me wrong, the plot is important, too—you have to make sure it makes sense, that there aren’t gaping plot holes, et cetera. But your sentences and your characters are what make or break your story, at least in terms of whether or not the reader is going to toss it aside on the next page. I mean, for instance, I cannot read Tolkien’s work because, in my opinion, his prose is godawful. I understand that he set the stage for many of the high fantasy works that followed, that he gave birth to a lot of the tropes that we still see in use today, that his works were incredibly important for the genre. However, the man spends two pages describing goddamn trees. I cannot get through his prose. Even when it comes to The Hobbit, which is supposed to be for kids, I found myself so bored I wondered if I was reading an encyclopedia instead. Similarly, Neil Gaiman’s writing isn’t necessarily terrible, but I ended up disliking American Gods by the time I was halfway through the book because he was using similes or metaphors every other sentence, and so it felt like he was trying oh so very hard to seem impressive, which had the exact opposite effect. I distinctly remember rolling my eyes during the sex scene with Bastet because of yet another simile (or maybe it was a metaphor, can’t recall). I felt so annoyed at how smart he was trying to sound, and so his writing style is simply not for me. (Terry Pratchett, on the other hand? That man could write. His writing style is what made Good Omens one of my favorite books. Thank god he tempered Gaiman on that one. Thank god.)

So your sentences are incredibly important, but so are your characters. Your characters are everything. I don’t care how brilliant you believe your theme is, or how many plot twists you have; if your characters are garbage, that plot is not going anywhere. You will either get stuck when trying to write it, or your readers are not going to care about it. Readers like interesting plots, yes, but readers prefer fascinating characters. I mean, look at fandom. Sure, people talk about the plots of their favorite narratives, but what do they draw fanart of? What do they spend countless hours writing meta for? What inspires them to write fanfiction? The characters do. We don’t care about the Harry Potter series because of the plot. We don’t watch Star Wars because of the plot. We don’t really care about the plot of the superhero movies that we see and gush over. Again, aspects of the plot can be interesting, but the reason why we care is because we care about and connect to the characters. If your story does not have well-written, lovable characters (at least some of them have to be lovable, unless you’re explicitly trying to write a story in which everyone is loathsome and that is what causes the fascination), then it isn’t going anywhere, no matter how intelligent or witty your plot may be.

(And note: This is not to say that your plot isn’t important, because it is, of course it is. You need to put care into maintaining your plot as well. But it is to say that your characters must come first. Your characters are why your reader sticks with your story. And it’s worth pointing out that there are plenty of television shows that have great cultural longevity despite not having much in the way of a plot (e.g. Seinfeld, or The Office, or Parks and Recreation, et cetera), whereas it’s much harder to think of one that has lasted and been thought of as wonderful because it had a deep and intricate plot, but absolutely boring and dreadful characters. So your plot still is important, no doubt about that, but you must tend to your characters first.)

With all of that said, aside from that, originality is also important. Everyone should write a story that is theirs. And I don’t mean that cop-out I often see going around, about how, “just take someone else’s plot, because if you’re writing it’s automatically unique!” because that’s not true. Idea theft / idea plagiarism does exist, and I’ve seen it far too often in fandom (often done to my own works; I’ve been plagiarized in at least three different fandoms and it hurts like hell every time) to feel comfortable. However, although there are certain stories which are told time and again in different ways, they’re told in unique ways. You can see the narrative similarities between Harry Potter and Star Wars, for instance, but they’re both so incredibly different that you’d never feel that one was a direct copy of the other. The same goes if you throw Lord of the Rings into the mix. And although the His Dark Materials trilogy was written as a Take That at C.S. Lewis because of The Chronicles of Narnia, the two are still so different that if you didn’t already know that beforehand, you wouldn’t see how Lyra has elements of both Susan and Lucy in her. So I do think that originality is very important, and that everyone should strive to come up with something that is very much theirs, rather than just taking another’s idea and copying it wholesale. Don’t plagiarize. It never ends well and it’s incredibly hurtful to the person you do it to.

So yeah, those three things: Sentences, characters, originality. I think they’re all pretty important!

[stateofpeculiarity]

I’m just gonna answer questions because no one asks em and I always wanted to do this so I’m just gonna fucking do it, ya know?

What’s your favorite way to pass time at home? Watching movies, Making art, reading, writing, filming, editing, talking to my dog.

How do you usually spend a lazy evening? On youtube or re-watching a movie.

What do you usually have for breakfast? Coffee.

What was your first kiss like? Bad. Apparently I made the first move, but I can tell you that wasn’t my intention, so you can imagine how weird it was.

Have you ever travelled alone? Yes.

Coffee or tea? Coffee all the way, but I would like to get into tea drinking more.

Is your room rather messy or organized? An organized mess.

How much time do you usually spend on a computer/phone?Too much, but honestly probably less than most people. 

Say one thing you like and dislike about school. I like learning so much, but I hate group discussions, busy work, and any other waste of a lecture.

How many languages can you speak?Barely my native language. I took four years of French and can get the gist of what’s being said if I can read it, but can’t speak of listen for shit.

What’s one language you would like to learn? Spanish, Portuguese, or German. I would also love to know Latin.

Do think good grammar/spelling is important? Yes, it completely changes the meaning of the sentence and agency of certain words,

What’s your favorite music genre? Indie Rock

What’s your favorite meal of the day? I usually only eat once a day, at a random time, and snack for the most part. So, snacks.

When + which band was your first concert? Brittney Spears when I was 6 ( 2002?)

Do you like having flowers in your house/garden? I live in the city and have a windowsill full of plants. There is one pot of flowers ( I should get more!)

Do you prefer texting or phone calls? Phone Calls

Are you allergic to anything? Cats, Chlorine, and Augmentin. I sneeze wayy too much so probably something else, but I haven’t figured it out yet.

Describe one nice memory with your best friend. I visited her in Chilie and we sang and danced in this kind of public square, drew people, made music, and met some really amazing people. 

Have you ever been to Paris? No. But honestly seems overrated. 

Have you ever been to Amsterdam? No. But I would love to.

Have you ever been to NYC? I lived there for 3 years.

Are you a gamer? Nope.

What are you wearing today? A purple David Bowie shirt, leggings, and a Red/orange cardigan.

Do you prefer jeans, jeggings or leggings? Leggings, but I really like my jeans once I’m in em.

Do you spend a lot of time studying? Yes and no. 

Are you punctual? Not really.

What’s your favorite color? It changes a lot, but usually orange, purple, yellow, or green.

What’s your favorite type of youtube videos to watch? Edutainment videos/ video essays!

Do you prefer dark, milk or white chocolate? Dark chocolate. As dark as my humor.

Do you prefer shopping for clothes online or in stores? Online. I hate buying clothes.

When was the last time you kissed someone? August. Then I broke up with him.

What do you think when you look in the mirror? “Woah, that’s me? no way.”

Do you enjoy singing? What kind of songs? I love to sing. I go for musicals and Freddie Mercury to belt, but like folk songs and classic rock songs to sing while I play the guitar. I also sing made up songs and operas to my dog.

Do you drink enough water? 90% of the time, yes.

What is your favorite type of shoes to wear? Combat boots or Converse.

Do you have/want any tattoos or piercings? 4 tattoos, just my ears are pierced.

How do you feel about pastel colors? “For that I can forgive you, but Debbie...Pastels??”

What is the last book you read? “Somebody to Love: The life and times of Freddie Mercury”

Say the first quote that comes to your head: “Nothing gold can stay.”

Are currently texting someone? haha no.

Do you have any posters in your room? No, but I have an old postcard collection and illustrations of flowers. 

How did you discover your current favorite band? I have no idea how I found Parquet Courts, but it happened sometime within my freshman year of college. I heard “Donuts Only” and got hooked.

Do you enjoy romantic movies? Not really.

Would you rather watch the sunrise or go for a beach walk? Watch Sunrise.

What’s your favorite Christmas movie? Black Christmas.

Are you religious? No.

What’s the last theme park you’ve been to? I think it was actually universal’s Harry Potter world.

Do you care about fashion/being fashionable? Sometimes, and certainly in the past, but in my old age I have become apathetic.

Do you like scented candles? Yes, but they make me sneeze.

Would you rather visit Iceland or Greece? Iceland was what first came to my mind, but I feel like Greece would be a lot more fun.

Is there a fireplace in your house? no :(

Do you spend more time in your living room or bedroom? Living room.

At what time do you usually have lunch? 3...

Do you know anyone’s phone number by heart? My mothers!

Do you have a favorite mug? Yes, but it often shifts because I like to attach sentimental value to things. It’s currently a mug that says “bitchin!” on it.

How did you meet your best friend? at summer camp. Alternatively, I met my sister a couple days after my mothers c-section.

Do you sing/dance in the shower? Yes.

Have you ever considered yourself ‘emo’, ‘scene’, ‘hipster’ etc.? I would say in highschool I really wanted to be a hipster and succeeded about 60% of the time. At one point I really wanted to be seen as more punk, but just couldn’t quite pull it off the way I thought I could in my head. I would say I have always been kind of a cool loser. Quite dork/nerd who is secretly irreverent and loud.

When was your first kiss? Freshmen year of highschool. At a cast party.

What do you look forward to this month? I’m auditioning for a musical. 

Do you remember your first day of school? yes, I didn’t go inside when the bell rang, instead I stayed outside picking flowers.

Do you think feminism is important? It’s so important this shouldn’t even be a question.

Say three things that make you happy: Dogs, Coffee, Movies

What are you listening to right now? Old studio cuts and takes from the Beatles and Queen.

Do you like to go Christmas shopping? Absoluetly not. I’m a total grinch.

Have you ever been camping? Yes! but I would really like to go as an adult.

If your birthday could be any day, would you change it? probably not, I like May and the number 4,  but I would see if it was possible to change Star Wars day.

What do you think is the right age to be in a first relationship?16

What do you think is the right age to have sex? Idk, when you feel comfortable and ready to handle it. When buying condoms doesn’t make you feel nervous or ashamed. When you are in love. If you think about the worst casinario and don’t think the other person would desert you or treat you poorly. 

How is your relationship with your siblings? The strongest thing on Earth.

Do you have any pets? A 12 year old Shih Tzu.

Are you in love? (if yes, describe the person) Nope. I’m good at settling and talking myself into love though.

Do you listen to music a lot? Yes.

What do you think about before you fall asleep? Sleep.

Do you think makeup makes people prettier? I think it makes people feel beautiful and is a way to express themselves, so, yes, I think it makes people feel prettier and thus have that confidence in their beauty. 

When was the last time you were in a church? About 6 months ago.

Do you think it’s more comfortable to wear your hair up or down? Up and outta the way is more comfy for me, but I look better with it down.

Do you pick shampoos based on their scent? No.

Say one thing you like about winter: Snow Days.

Say one thing you like about fall: Changing colors of leaves/ stepping on a crispy leaf.

Say one thing you like about summer: Kids are out of school and having fun.

Say one thing your like about spring: My birthday/ the feeling of rebirth.

What’s the most beautiful place you’ve ever been? Chile.

Are you planning to travel a lot when you’re older? I really hope I can.

What seems like the most fun age to you? 40. idk why

Do you prefer the sun or the moon? Moon.

How do you celebrate Easter (if you do)? Dye Eggs and search for eggs, usually a nice dinner.

Do you know anyone who doesn’t like chocolate? Not off the top of my head.

Can you relate to most songs you listen to? Yes.

Say one fun thing you did this week: I threw a movie party for an obscure film.

Where do you see yourself in five years? Alive, Working, and Happy. 

Would you change your name if you could? Absolutely. I hate my last name. I want to change it to Dalvit.

Who’s your favourite Disney princess? Belle/ The girl from Atlantis.

Do you have a clean desk? Not usually.

Do you like babysitting? Yes. I’m good with kids.

Do you often offer your friends food/a drink? As much as I can.

What is a right age to drink alcohol for the first time? 15 ish

What do you like about your favorite band/artist? The drums.

Tell me one random fact that comes to your head: Roger Taylor sings the high note in Bohemian Rhapsody.

[a-weird-blog-in-general]

ITH Mafia Au

Yep. I’m releasing this thing into the world. It’s been aging quite finely, and with some help from @pika-ace, this has been fleshed out to the best of our combined abilities.

And, as a little something extra, we’ve mixed in some Do No Harm stuff in there too.

Boy this is probably going to be long. Welp, here we go.

There are the three families, led by Vanessa, Daniela, and the Rosarios. I like to imagine Abuela Claudia as the Boss of All Bosses (the head Godfather), who can be a member or not, but everyone listens to her on her block.

Vanessa's family is the most "calm" of the three; they deal more diplomatic and trade affairs (stuff like blackmail and bribing political figures, along with moving products). Usnavi and Sonny both fall under Vanessa, Usnavi being an actual member (most likely a Capo) and Sonny is not officially one yet; he's going through initiation.  In Vanessa's family, of course you got some issues with Sonny being accepted into the family. Usnavi is not 100% on board with it, but it allows Sonny to have protection under the family without conflict and doesn't interfere with Usnavi's loyalty to the family. Not that's much of a problem because Sonny, member or not, is always going to be protected by the families but Usnavi doesn't see that yet. That also gives Ian the excuse to take Sonny because technically the other families shouldn't care about some kid, but oh he got shit wrong. There's also the issue with Sonny hanging around Pete all the time. Pete, belonging to another family, has taken the oath to be loyal to them above all else. Usnavi doesn't want Sonny to form this relationship he knows (or more like he thinks) that Sonny won't be more important to Pete than the family is.

Daniela's family has Carla and Pete, Carla being an Consigliere (basically Daniela's right-hand woman) and Pete is a soldier (the 2nd lowest level of the hierarchy). They are the more "violent" of the families, dealing with the dirty work (hits and stuff like that). They have the strongest mafia army, so if you ever need a war, you want this family on your side. But it's more like they'll do the violence if they have to, not that they're just violent in general. With Daniela, the issue is she's the one who's always harassed for being a female boss and having a female Underboss. Other small groups and gangs not associated with the families don't like that for some reason, but they learn very quickly not to mess with the strongest family with two powerful ladies leading it. But like it's an issue that's always there, so they always have to be a little bit better and stronger than everyone else because of it. And you also got that issue going on with Pete and Sonny in the back.

The Rosario's are the more traditional ones and don't have the greatest public presence. They're the ones pulling all the strings behind the scenes; you need some product moved, they'll do it. Need to sneak into this uber secret place? They got you fam. With Mr. Rosario as the boss, Lincoln is the Underboss (basically being groomed to be the next boss if necessary). Though Camila is really the boss (she's got Kevin on her leash), it's Kevin who is the face of the family. Nina isn't in the mafia hierarchy, which kind of makes her upset. Kevin keeps her out because he wants to keep her safe, but I mean she already runs some risk with being your daughter man. Benny serves as a bodyguard for the Rosario family,  which gives him plenty of time close to Nina, and romance blooms. And Kevin wouldn't like that no no. In the Rosarios, Lincoln doesn't want to be the next boss. He wants to go and do his own thing, but Kevin's like no you gotta be the next boss if something happens to me. Now Nina's like what about me? I'm here and I'm willing to do this let me. Kevin doesn't want to expose Nina to that kind of life, but Camila just takes Nina off to the side and lets her in on how everything works. Benny, being a bodyguard to the family and is one of the closest to the family, gets to spend a lot of time with Nina. Now Kevin don't like that. He's put his trust in Benny to watch over his family, he doesn't need Benny falling in love with his daughter. And in general, if it gets let out that the family's bodyguard is getting all close to the daughter of the boss, that's gonna cause problems.

So that’s the basics of the families. I’m not the best versed in these sorts of things so feel free to change/add/correct inconistencies.

So, here’s where the DNH element comes in.

Let’s say that Ian’s got connections (that wouldn’t be so far fetched when taking into account the shit he does), and he’s got his own little orgainization up his sleeves. He does some digging and decides that he’s going to use Usnavi to obtain money and information from the families.

It's gutsy for Ian threaten Usnavi, who's a Capo. But then again, this is Usnavi we're talking about so that's probably why he chose him to exploit. Usnavi, despite being a Capo, isn't exactly the best material for the job. Yes, he gets the job done but he doesn't have the best authority skills. People respect him because if they don't they gotta answer to Vanessa and that wouldn't be very good, for them that is. And it's Ian I think he just wouldn't care. And it's because of Usnavi's position and his lack of authoritarian skills that makes him a good target.And knowing Ian he'd keep an eye on him and know just the right pressure points for him. In Usnavi's case, his family; threatening him is one thing, but threatening to hurt Sonny is a low blow. He could also threaten to wage war on Vanessa's family, resulting in a whole lotta death for everyone, which is the LAST thing Usnavi wants on his hands. Innocent people get caught the crossfire of those things.

Ian would be pegging Usnavi for inside info. Like to let him know if anything big is happening within the family; I think that'd be a LOT harder for Usnavi cause money from his own pocket is one thing, but outright betrayal? That'd REALLY get to him. It challenges the oath and Usnavi takes that very seriously. It would wreck him.

Aaaaand Sonny would find out about it and he'd be pissed at Ian more than Usnavi cause he knows what lengths Usnavi will go for his loved ones and he'd just be like 'this asshole is basically taking advantage of my cousin to do all this shit, this guy is a monster! No one fucks with Usnavi but me!' Aaaand knowing Sonny he'd go out and try to confront the problem himself and get himself and Usnavi into even more trouble.

Now Sonny knows what’s going on, Ian has to use his biggest trump card; kidnap Sonny to use him as leverage against Usnavi.. He'd probably keep Sonny locked up or close to him constantly like 'You do the thing, or your baby cousin is dead, get it.'

And there’s an initial confrontation.  the confrontation would be like. Like, Ian calls Usnavi into wherever the hell they meet, and at first everything's fine, Ian acts like everything's totally normal while Usnavi's just confused and a little scared, until finally, Ian just snaps his fingers and two guys bring Sonny out (probably tied up; the kid's a fighter) and Usnavi just turns white and things just go downhill from there. 'Let him go, please! He's just a kid!' 'Alright, I'll tell you what? Finish the job, and I'll tell where to pick him up. And finish it quick; I'm terrible at being patient.'

So Usnavi finally decides to get help.  maybe Ian calls Usnavi to make sure he's still doing his thing and Vanessa overhears and confronts Usnavi about it, and Usnavi just breaks down, tells her everything and begs her for help. And Vanessa just hugs him like 'You dumbass why are you so afraid of asking for help?' Then she rounds up the rest of the families like 'Code Red people; emergency meeting now. Sonny's in danger.' Oh yes. And they don't even have to argue this with head honcho Claudia. You put the words "Sonny" and "danger" in any sentence together you have her full permission to fuck shit up.Like, Claudia doesn't even have to look up if she's doing something. She just says 'Take whatever you need, be back by dinner, and bring Sonny back safely, por favor.'

Usnavi tries to do the outsmart Ian thing when he goes to meet Ian again, but Ian thinks he’s got the uper hand but nope looks who’s knocking at the door it’s all three mafia families and their army. Adn they violently exterminate Ian.

I could see them kinda casually hinting at what they did while everyone's taking Sonny home like. 'Man I didn't know you could bend someone's arm that far!' 'The tooth fairy's got her work cut out for her.' 'How many times did he fall out that window?' 'Lost count.' And Sonny's just staring at the with stars in his eyes like 'I have the best neighborhood in the universe.' I could totally see there just being a somber moment in general, especially between Usnavi and Sonny. Like while they're walking home, Usnavi has his arm around Sonny the whole way like he's afraid he'll disappear. And then maybe they have a talk. 'Mijo you should have just stayed out of this. What were you thinking? I almost lost you.' 'I couldn't just sit around and let that asshole use you.'

Sonny probably would feel pretty freaking humiliated (let's be honest, being the hostage in the situation is the WORST) he's going to be initiated in a few years if he's ready, and he went and got himself freaking kidnapped and made Usnavi just about have a conniption from worry; there's NO WAY they'll let him be an official part of the family now! And maybe after the rest of the family give him a little pep-talk even Usnavi admits that Sonny could still be a part of the family if he wanted to. 'You stood up to a Boss to try and help me, Sonny; not just anyone can do that, even if it didn't work.'I could just see Usnavi hugging Sonny tightly and saying 'Alright you can join eventually, but  ONLY if you promise to NEVER scare me like that again.'

And that’s that. Now onto Ruben.

Ruben was previously an employee of some sorts for Ian, and now that Ian's gone some of his lackeys decide they want to strike back at the families and they use Ruben to do it.

So like the bad guys' spy on the families for a bit and realize that the person named Usnavi looks A LOT like Ruben, almost identical. So they decide to pull a switch to have Ruben pass off as Usnavi. It works out for the bad guys cause they blame him for teh fiasco that happened to their boss: if Usnavi had just gone along with Ian's plans, they'd still have a boss.

So Ruben's forced to be a spy and sabotage the families from the inside while pretending to be Usnavi. And the bad guys have Ruben's family under surveillance and if he messes up they're going to get hurt. The bad guys' plan doesn't really work out, cause no one really buys into it. Well, Sonny doesn't buy it at all; it's like one of those "who are you and what have you done with Usnavi" but serious this time. Everyone else pretty much acknowledges that "Usnavi" is not his usual self, but they don't really question it; that's something they'd leave to Vanessa. But everyone's suspicious.

And it gets even more complicated because the families don't treat Ruben like trash and actually treat him like a human being and even though they treat him as they would Usnavi Ruben's like "wow these people are the most caring people ever why am I doing this?" And the guilt gets to be too much cause it feels just like when Ian just came by his family's home and invaded Ruben's safe bubble but in this case, Ruben's the one invading another's family and boy does that feel shitty. Ruben feels like a horrible human being but he's got to do it anyway cause what can he do? Nothing.

Slowly, Ruben works his way into Usnavi's role (still kind of sucks), but with less suspicion. And little friendship starts between Ruben and Sonny (cause damn I love the friendship too). Ruben's like "wow this kid's pretty chill" and Sonny's like "wow Usnavi's actually chill for once wow."

And one day it get's overwhelming for Ruben and he breaks down and Sonny ends up walking in and doesn't know what to do. Like while it's Ruben, Sonny sees his cousin, the "rational" one and he's curled up alone and crying and Sonny's scared. And all Ruben manages to say when Sonny asks what's wrong is "I have to fix my mistake." And then Ruben suddenly gets up and makes his way to Vanessa and Sonny's still scared and follows, listening though the door. And Vanessa, from the moment Ruben walks in though the door, knows something is wrong and Ruben confesses.

After Ruben confesses, Vanessa, understandably so, is pretty damn pissed and in order to keep Ruben out of the way, again understandbly so, keeps Ruben under watch and under lock and key while she formulates her plan.

Sonny breaks Ruben out and they both go in secret to find Usnavi, who's still locked up... waiting. The bad guys haven't been the nicest of people (make with that what you will), but Sonny and Ruben manage to get there by Ruben pretending to have captured Sonny and have the bad guys come and get them. They manage to get to Usnavi and almost get out but the bad guys stop them.

So now they're all being held at gunpoint (not fun), but something that should be noted is that Ruben tries to shield Usnavi and Sonny as much as possible because he feels so much guilt and if those two don't make it out of this then goddamnit everyone dies I guess. And then Ruben decides to turn himself over to the bad guys as long as they agree to let Sonny and Usnavi go. But wow they don't agree they'd rather just kill everyone and Ruben tries to reason with them and they beat him up for talking back to them (Sonny doesn't like that and tries to fight literally the biggest guy in the room but Usnavi holds him back because no Sonny that's stupid you gonna die). Sonny breaks free anyway and puches the biggest man in the room straight up in the face (he has to jump to even get that high) and some other guy turns to shoot at Sonny but Ruben shields him and gets shot instead (oh no). The other guys get ready to full on murder but wait what's that I hear holy shit it's Vanessa (she noticed Sonny was missing Ruben had "mysteriously" gotten away so she just tracked Sonny's phone to find them; she was right in assuming Sonny had broken Ruben out) and she is PISSED. And yeah she brought a tiny army cause she wanted to literally murder every single one of the kidnappers on her own. And she does; goes in guns blazing and full on badass.

They manage to save everybody.

Ruben's taken care of but he is still not okay and still feels like the worst human being ever even though you took a bullet for Sonny (which kind of automatically puts you on Usnavi's good side). Everyone get's that Ruben did a bad, a very bad thing, but they also understand that he was forced to do it for his family which means the man's got values. And after finding out about Ruben's familial situation, the families agree to watch over and protect Ruben's family while everything settles down and Ruben's so thankfull????? Like I hurt your family and you're willing to protect mine? Well yeah because our family isn't a bunch of bastards. And they're even willing to actually get to know Ruben as Ruben and he can't deal with all these people being nice to him???? And they stay close.

And BOOM there it is

[suallenparker]

Philinda Fanfic: Behind the Scenes, Chapter 1

RATING: T

SPOILER: This is set in a Universe where Phil quit his Tony Stark babysitting duties after the first gig and returned to active field work. So, basically their backstories stay the same until after the first Iron Man Movie.

SUMMARY: After her former partner Phil Coulson almost got killed in action, the traumatized SHIELD agent Melinda May returns to duty. She and Phil  go undercover as contestants of the celebrated TV show “Forever Love” to catch a stalker and to trip a traitor.

NOTES: So to not disappoint your expectations later, take this as your warning: This is a love story. This is also a bit of a crime story. And a tiny bit of a spy story. But mostly this is a hopefully fun and entertaining love story. It’s my favorite kind of story to tell and I hope you’ll enjoy this one with me! THANK YOU TO @crazymaryt for talking me through my freak out earlier. I hope you enjoy this! Thank you as well to @sapphire2994 @sdkissel, @galaxyleggings and that sweet anon for cheering me on!

NEXT

o0o

Chapter 1: Five Limousines in which Phil greets a lot of beautiful women.

This was a rough assignment. Worst undercover mission yet. Usually he loved those but this one?

The whole environment was strange. Cameras everywhere. Not that that was the problem if he’d be allowed to act according to his training and avoid them, but nope. This time the point was to make him famous. Well, to make his undercover persona Eric famous.

At least his bedroom was camera free. And the bed was nice and big. Blue walls framed the room and two big windows gave him a view of the majestic garden of this mansion. The accessories of the room were a bit too modern for his preferences but everything looked very tasteful. There even were some fresh flowers and a fruit bowl! He had seen most of it before when he had watched tapes of the last season of “Forever Love”.

Damn, he couldn’t believe he would have to star in a show called “Forever Love”. He was a well trained SHIELD agent, for christ’s sake!

Phil pressed his lips together as he held the cell against his ear.

“This is so boring,” Garrett whined at the other end of the line.

Phil wanted to punch him and vomit at the same time.

But he hadn’t punched Garrett when he came to visit Phil in the hospital, and he wouldn’t blow his chance to nail Garrett and his whole racist organization for a selfish anger tantrum. Not when his plan was already set in motion.

So Phil just smiled. And kept face. “We could still switch,” he said.

“So I’d blow my cover forever?” Garrett snorted. “No way!”

“Then stop complaining!” Phil’s voice broke in the middle of that sentence. Damn it!

“You’re nervous!” Garrett said gleefully.

“Of course I’m nervous!” Phil swallowed. The urge to punch Garrett grew stronger, but he kept his voice light. “I’m about to meet twenty strangers and they all think I could be their future husband.”

“May doesn’t.”

No, of course not. He wished hearing that wouldn’t make his heart clench.

The door to his bedroom opened and a slender woman stepped in, hands on her hips, her brows pulled together. Maggie Hill. The family resemblance was obvious. Same nose, same colored eyes. But her hair was short and black and she was at least five inches taller than her older sister Maria.

She wore black jeans, black shirt and black sneakers and a head-set.

“We need you on set,” she growled and reached out her hand. “Give me your phone!”

Phil held up his hand. “I have to go,” Phil said into his cell.

“Is that Hill’s sister?” Garrett asked.

“Yes. Talk to you later.” He hang up.

Maggie glared at him. “I don’t allow our candidates to have cell phones.”

They had been over this! “I won’t tell the others.” Phil put the cell into the inside pocket of his black suit and gave it a pat. “It’ll be my secret phone.”

“Is that really necessary?” Maggie asked.

“To do my job and to keep us all save? Yes!”

“Fine.” She sighed and grabbed his arm to pull him out of his room. He followed her to the front yard of the mansion. People moved like a very strange and very busy ant colony. Some moved lamps and lit candles, others arranged flowers in big bowls. A big camera was set up on a train in front of the entry way of the front yard, while two strong looking guys each held up a camera on their shoulder.

Maggie dragged him to the middle of the rounded drive way and squinted at him. “You’re shiny,” she said. “Have you been to make up yet?” Not waiting for an answer, she let go of him and turned to her right, where a make up artist powdered the face of the ridiculously good looking moderator of the show, Peter.

“Tori!” Maggie called.

The woman turned around. And it was Victoria Hand, wearing jeans, sneakers. She had the purple streaks in her dark hair and wore a make up bag around her waist, which should look like a silly fanny bag, but instead Hand just looked overall cool. “Yes?” she asked.

Of course Phil had known that she would join the undercover mission but seeing Vitoria Hand wearing something different but a sleek black suit was strange.

Maggie nodded at Phil. “He’s shiny,” she said.

“Fixing it now,” Hand said and walked over.

Maggie turned to Phil and raised a brow. “First limo arrives in fifteen minutes and we still have to film your introduction with Peter, so no more distraction on my set!” She made room for Hand and walked over to the moderator. “Peter, are you ready for your first scene?”

Hand dunked a big, fluffy make up brush into a tin and within a second, the brush was on Phil’s forehead.

He blinked and Hand smirked. “Hold still!” She dunked the brush into the tin again and powdered his cheeks as well. “You’d look good with a little brow treatment,” she said.

He sighed. “You’re enjoying this too much.”

“Loving my job is not a crime.” She pulled out a brow pen and he pressed his lips together while she drew over his brows.

“Best I can do for you,” she said.

He glared at her.

But she kept grinning. “Stress gives you pimples, you know?”

Peter stepped into the middle of the drive way, just so that the mansion behind him and all the potted plants would frame him perfectly, and smiled into the camera. He looked like Steve Roger’s handsome brother, it was ridiculous! Blond hair, perfect teeth and baby blue eyes.

“Love is not for the faint of heart,” he said and tilted his head to catch the light with his cheekbones. “It takes courage to open yourself up to somebody, especially if you’ve been hurt before. It takes bravery to be vulnerable and honest.” His voice was velvety soft and relatable. “But that’s what it needs to find true love!” He opened his arms and raised his hands in a that’s just a fact kind of gesture. “Fortunately bravery and courage are things that our new bachelor has in abundance! He is a forty-five year old Navy SEAL and a true hero. He even took a bullet for our country!” He looked over to Phil and extended his arm.”

Phil’s stomach clenched.

Peter smiled broadly into the camera. “America, this is your new bachelor on his way to forever love, Erik!”

Hand gave him a little push and Phil planted his best fake smile on his face as he walked into the frame. He was Eric now. And Eric was ready for love!

“It’s so good to have you on the show.” Peter shook his hand.

His hand was dry and soft. Was everything about that guy perfect? Phil broadened his smile. “Hello Peter, I’m so happy to be here!”

“The women will arrive shortly and you’ll finally get to meet them!” Peter squinted and tilted his head like they were talking about a war mission. “Do you feel prepared for this new experience? Or are you nervous?”

“I’m just excited to meet all those wonderful women!” Straight out lie, of course. He dreaded having to lie to all those innocent people.

“Do you believe your true love could be in one of those limos?”

Melinda sat in one of them, so … Nope, not going down that line of thought. That line of thought only led to heartbreak. This was a job and just because Melinda had agreed to be his partner didn’t mean she wouldn’t leave again after this was over.

Phil sighed like a guy who had been heart broken before but who hadn’t given up on true love yet. “I hope so. I really hope so.” He pulled up his shoulders a little and smiled. “Maybe I’m a bit nervous.”

“You survived getting shot but this makes you nervous?”

“Well, risking to get shot is part of my job, but this is my life, you know? This could change everything.” He swallowed. “She could change everything.”

“So you’re ready for love?”

“I definitely, definitely am.”

“That’s fantastic!” Peter clapped his hands. “Because the first limo just arrived. Eric, here come your bachelorettes!”

Just that they didn’t.

They reshoot his entry twice, then they changed the camera set up and after Hand had powdered his whole face again, they finally set up to shoot the arrival of the first limousine.

His heart raced when the door to the back seat opened. A beautiful woman with long brown curls stepped out of the limousine. She wore a sparkly long bronze dress with a slit up her leg and strap-y heals.

She took a deep breath before she walked up to him. “Hi, I’m Audrey.”

Audrey Nathan, cellist. He had read her file. No priors. One speeding ticket in the last year. She left her job at the Portland Philharmonic to be on the show. No close family.

She gave him a quick hug and ran her hands over his arms. She smelled delicious!

“Hi Audrey. I’m Eric,” he said and smiled. She had beautiful brown eyes. “It’s so lovely to meet you,” he added and meant it. If he had to lie to all these women, the least thing he could do was to make them as comfortable as possible.

“I know.” She closed her eyes and pressed her lips together. “I mean, likewise. I’m a bit nervous, I’m sorry.”

She was adorable!

“That’s such a relief!” he said. “I’m nervous too. Well, I’m very excited to meet you. But also nervous. Nervous excited. I’m sorry. I ramble when I’m -”

“Nervous?” she asked, smiling again.

“Yes.”

She tilted her head and twisted one of her curls around a finger. “I usually get all tongue tied.”

“You’re doing brilliantly.”

“Likewise. It’s so nice to meet you!” She shook her head in disbelief. “I said that already, I’m so sorry. Wow, I wish I was tongue tied now!”

“Welcome to my world.”

“Is it too cheesy if I say it’s a pleasure?”

“Once you’ll get to know me you’ll notice there’s rarely anything too cheesy for my taste.”

“That’s a relief!”

“Talk to you later.”

“Can’t wait!” She ran her hand over his arm as she walked past him towards the mansion.

She was so lovely! And he hated this whole damn mission even more.  Of course he had known that he would’ve to deceive all those women. Of course he knew that it was all for the greater goods, to catch a stalker, to trip up Garrett and to save the world, as always.

At least with Melinda he knew where he stood, which was usually on the outside.

Boundaries and all that …

o0o

The limousine smelled like perfume and hairspray.

“Did Eric really get shot?” Katherine Paris asked.

That question made Melinda’s stomach clench in memory. Two nights in that damn hospital until the doctors could finally tell her that he would survive. God, she hated this.

Of course, like all the other women in the car, Katherine was stunningly beautiful. Brown, long hair, blue eyes and just a hint of freckles on her nose. The red long dress flattered her complexion. From her file Melinda knew that she was a dentist and very active on all kinds of social media, especially Pinterest and Instagram. Her favorite hobbies were bullet journaling and flossing. No priors.

Kathrine reached over Melinda to hold up her empty glass to their assistant producer, Javier.

He filled up her glass with fresh champagne. “He did get shot during a mission he had to do as a Navy SEAL,” he said and nodded solemnly. He was young, could hardly grow a beard even though the stubbles on his chin showed he really tried. He was latino, brown eyes, dark, thick brows and short dark hair.

“He’s so brave!” Grace Traeger said. A hairdresser from Utah. She was a sweetheart. Blonde, blue eyes, red lips, tight blue dress. She looked young, younger than thirty-five. And she had such an innocent joy about her. “And he’s so handsome too!”

Melinda and Lorelei nodded.

Lorelei Payne was a Physicist and worked at a faculty in New York. Short red hair, freckles all over and green eyes. The short grey dress she wore made her eyes look even greener. She loved dogs and volunteered in a shelter. Another perfect human being.

Melinda had no idea why all these women had signed up to be here.

Lorelei kept chewing on her lower lip. Her lipstick was already gone. She hadn’t said much yet, but neither had Melinda. Since she would have to be undercover for a while, Hill and she had decided to create her new persona as close to herself as possible.

Javier straightened up and tilted his head as he listened to his ear piece.

“We’re here, girls!” he said and smiled brightly. “Grace, you’re out first.”

“Feel this.” Grace leaned in and took Melinda’s hand to place the back of it over her chest. She pulled in a deep breath. “My heart is racing, I’m so nervous!”

“You seem so calm,” Lorelei said and looked at Melinda.

She squeezed Grace’s hand with an apologetic smile. “I’m freaking out on the inside.”

Lorelei sighed. “I wish I could keep my freak outs to my insides.”

Grace nodded.

“Not as fun as it sounds …” Melinda swallowed. She squeezed Grace’s hand again. “And you got this.”

“Yes, Grace,” Lorelei said. “You look amazing. You can do this!”

“Thanks, girls. See you outside!”

Javier opened the door for her. “Blow him away!”

One after one, Melinda watched the women leave the limousine.

“Diane, it’s finally your turn!” Javier said eventually.

Diane.

That was her now.

“You look great, ok?” He seemed charming, but there was something about him, that Melinda didn’t trust. His file didn’t say much about him other than that he was ambitious. How far was he willing to go for what he wanted? And was he willing to kill people if he felt wrong? “Don’t worry,” he added. You may be last but you sure aren’t least. Take a deep breath and then show him what you got! You have a lot in common, bond with him over that, ok?”

Melinda smiled at him. “Thank you.”

She focused on relaxing her body as she got out of the car. Diane needed to be soft and warm and lovable, so she couldn’t go into this in fighting mode.

Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him. Phil, standing in front of that fancy mansion, wearing a fancy suit and being definitely, definitely alive.

There was no reason to be nervous about this. Diane had a guarantee to win his love.

But her heart was racing as she walked towards him. Eric might be destined to fall in love with Diane. But Phil would stay out of reach.

God, she hated undercover missions!

o0o

MORE NOTES: OH MY, this story gave me so many freak outs! I re-plotted the story about three times before I got it into a shape that made sense and then this chapter … But it’s here. I did it. And that’s something! If you enjoyed it, please don’t forget to comment, like and reblog! It really helps me out. :D

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