#we’ll never know because the show doesn’t delve into so it’s fun to think about

[seraphont]

Your AU's idea of SolverCyn keeping Tessa's consciousness alive inside it actually seems really in-character for the canon SolverCyn. I remember someone pointing out that between Cyn and Tessa's matching hairstyles, the way that SolverCyn has been wearing Tessa's human corpse as a skinsuit and impersonating her identity in the spacesuit ever since the Well-Timed Giggle, and the way Cyn and Tessa both share a special fondness for N among the drones, it really seems like either the Solver - or the part of the Solver that's still Cyn - has a real underlying fixation on emulating Tessa.

Yeah, I see Cyns disturbing fixation of Tessa being a once innocent admiration that got twisted by the corruption. When you like someone enough you tend to parrot them and pick up their tendencies. this is really apparent in impressionable kids, and Cyn is our resident possessed robo child. Imitation is the highest form of flattery.

I think it’s a funny twist of irony that the entities that hate humans so much, are so deeply obsessed with one. In the end they just want to own every piece of Tessa.

[terukosnumberonefan]

Why I Headcanon J As A Trans Man: A DRDT Essay

As you know, I’ve made it absolutely no secret that I headcanon J as a trans man, as you can tell from the title alone. I’ve made at least 2 posts where I made reference to this (one being a joke post where I had J say “I want to be the first transmac absent father” and another saying “Someone give my man J some T and a binder”.) so this essay probably isn’t a shock to you especially since I made a post recently enough saying that I wanted to write an essay about this. However, I do want to delve into more detail on why I have this headcanon in the first place so I can show you my viewpoint since honestly as a trans man myself, I found J to be one of the most relatable characters. This isn’t meant to force you into having my headcanons, you can headcanon whatever you want even if it differs from me (Lesbian J Headcanoners I love you all so much, I love all the content you produce and please continue producing it, I hope your day is filled with your favorite hot drinks and treats and you get to play your favorite video game and watch your favorite show. You are doing the lord's work), but to me, that guy is a trans man and in this essay I’ll be explaining why. Note for the essay, for simplicity, I’ll be using they/them pronouns when referring to J. I usually use he/him when talking about my headcanon, and she/her when talking about them in canon, but I don’t want to confuse people. Especially since before then I didn't know exactly which pronouns TO use for J.

First bit of evidence, I guess we’ll start with their name. Okay this is probably an obvious piece of evidence that everyone expected, but even J themselves admit that they hate their birth name. First we see that they completely try to erase it from their door:

Secondly, we have J straight up admitting it at the start of chapter two. 

Obviously hating your name doesn’t automatically mean you’re trans, hell not even every trans person hates their dead name (for example, I like mine), but you have to admit, it’s not inherently uncommon for a trans person TO hate their dead name as they feel like it doesn’t fit them. We see that J gave themselves a gender neutral nickname too instead of going by Julia (that is even mistaken as a guy's name by Xander in the prologue when he thinks their name is “Jay” as in the bird).

For my next bit of evidence: We also know J changed a lot about themselves to be happy, to the point where they became unrecognizable from “Julia Rosales”.

And what sort of appearance does J decide to take up? When left to their own devices, what appearance does J decide to take?

(Fun fact, this comment is the thing that makes J snap at Arturo, tells him that her mom sucks, and that she hates the name Julia).

Yes, I am aware just because you’re a tomboy doesn’t mean you’re a trans man. I should make that very clear, I do NOT headcanon J as trans just because they’re a tomboy in canon. We know they hate feminine things and femininity because of their mother, and how they were forced into the role of a perfect daughter. But we know even as a KID they hated girly things. If you want some proof, here’s some Kid Art that the creator themselves made.

See how J is angry in that picture? How they were forced to look the way that they never wanted to look? That they were forced to be something they weren’t? That’s an experience that a lot of trans people have as well. We’re forced into the gender roles that we never wanted. People (usually our parents) have expectations for us that we can’t fill because we want to be ourselves and be happy for once. Even J themselves admitted they were forced into femininity their entire life by their overbearing mother.

As we can tell from these screenshots, basically their entire life J was forced into femininity by their mother. We can tell J resents her for it (well, they say it themself they hate their mom) and they resent the femininity that is forced upon them that it results in them hating feminine things in general (and girly girls). It gives her a “I’m Not Like Other Girls” attitude to the point where she straight up REFUSES TO BAKE because of her internalized misogyny. I'm not kidding by the way, for those who forgot: In chapter 1 Eden and Min mention that J refused to join them for baking just because she considered it too girly.

First of all J, what the fuck? It’s BAKING, that’s nowhere near the girliest thing you could do. It’s not like Eden’s gonna grab your hand and give you a manicure and pedicure when you’re WEIGHING INGREDIENTS OUT OR MIXING STUFF TOGETHER. Secondly, no, hating to bake does not mean you’re trans (Evidence: I am a trans man who bakes all the time. Hell it would probably be my DR Ultimate). I am simply using this to show just how bad J’s internalized misogyny got. He hates anything that looks “girly” even if it’s something as simple as baking. We also see throughout their bio that their least favourite colour is pink for "obvious reasons" and that they hate wearing dresses and anything "girly" and that they don't think any girly stuff is "cool".

Honestly, I hate to admit this, but J reminds me a lot of my younger self (I also got kinda pressured into femininity by society, albeit surprisingly my own mom was cool with me being a tomboy (I have my own mommy issues like J but at least I can give my mom that) but you’d be surprised how much the world can affect a kid). I am not generalizing all trans men like this, I’m well aware there are plenty who didn’t have a “Not Like Other Girls” phase, but you’d be surprised (or not) that most girls who did have that phase either end up being queer, neurodivergent or, in some cases, trans men (I ended up being all three). Believe me, I acted a lot like J back when I was 12-13 years old, constantly calling girly girls “bimbos”, thinking I was so much cooler for having guy friends and liking video games instead of makeup, and honestly I was just a huge dick back then, I would have also rejected anything SLIGHTLY “girly” like J did with baking. (Seriously when I first watched DRDT and saw that scene along with the Arei and J Free Time Event, my first thoughts were “Okay who let 12 year old me in here?”)

Luckily I’ve grown out of that mindset (Jenny, if you are somehow reading this I am so sorry I called you a bimbo about a billion times), though it started to tone down when I started exploring my own identity and then officially disappeared when I did realize I was a trans dude and I had all these thoughts because of how all this stuff was forced onto me (ironically after I realized I was trans, I became a lot more feminine). I’m not saying transitioning would help J, or that they’re trans just because they have a lot of internalized misogyny, but I don’t think it’s entirely wrong to say those two can be connected as well.

But yeah, someone let 12 year old me in here. Arei summed us both up in the Arei and J free time event:

SPEAKING OF THE J AND AREI FREE TIME EVENT, OH BOY!

Evidence number three, THE J AND AREI FREE TIME EVENT.

I’ve got at least two scenes that I saw and went “Oh my God you are trans J.” so here they are:

I like how J doesn’t question the boy bit. Honestly I’d be the same if someone called me a “Cool and suave wannabe boy”. Or I’d get dysphoric and anxious if they meant “wannabe boy” as in “You’re a fake boy”. Although Arei does later clarify the “wannabe” bit is for the cool and suave.

But speaking of Arei calling them a boy:

I know you may be thinking “Does that even prove anything?”. But honestly… yes. In my own experiences, I still get very flustered whenever I’m called a boy or when anyone uses male terms for me. And unlike J, quite a few people know I’m trans.

As an example of me getting flustered: Recently I was hanging out with my QPP and she said I was my moms son. You have no idea how flustered I got at that. It’s something I’m not used to. But I liked it. J’s reaction was honestly similar to my (internal) reaction. Also, they seem to be more denying at being flustered than being called a boy.

I know this isn't the universal experience for everyone, but when I saw J's reaction, I saw my reaction. How I felt when I was acknowledged as someone's son for the very first time.

Plus, as we’ve seen from previous screenshots, here we find out that J was forced into femininity by their mother and how they were raised before chapter 2 came along. Which I think a lot of trans men could relate too (not all of course).

There’s one more thing I want to point out, since I think I went over the main evidence on why I think J is trans, but this is something that honestly confirmed it for me and made me want to write this essay: Their hidden message.

As we know, all the characters have a hidden message on their profile pages. A lot of them have something to do with the characters (Example: Levi’s one is “I always believed that a person is defined by their actions alone. But maybe that’s just a poor excuse for my heartlessness.”, Min’s is “I wanted to save you.” and Charles’ is “If you forgot it, then it probably wasn’t important to begin with. None of those memories should ever be kept, anyway.” All of these hidden messages have something to do with the characters and what we learn about them in the story). And what could J’s hidden message possibly be?

“Please don’t call me your daughter ever again.”

Now I’ll be honest, this could mean anything. For all we know, this could mean that J doesn’t want to be associated with Mariabella at all, be her kid, anything. But from the way it’s worded, I honestly believe the daughter bit is the important bit.

There were so many ways to phrase that sentence, “I don’t want to be related to you”, “I’m not your kid”, or something. But the way they picked this particular sentence and worded it… Could J just not want to be her kid… or maybe they just don’t want to be her DAUGHTER?

Maybe instead, they want to be seen as her son? If they choose to be associated with her at all (Which if they don’t I don’t blame them).

Honestly this is just my own interpretation of everything, and it’s okay if you disagree or have a different headcanon from me. But as a trans man myself, I found J to be one of the most relatable characters in the cast with both my younger self (dealing with internalized misogyny, being pressured into femininity at a young age, mommy issues, etc) and my current self (being flustered at being called a boy, not wanting to be called a daughter, going by a name that isn’t a birth name, mommy issues, etc).

That was my essay on J, and I hope you enjoyed reading it and seeing my perspective! Have a good day 🙂

[vrains-rewrite]

Okay, so I have a few questions and a few suggestions:

Will Blue Angel/Maiden win more and will she get more fleshed out than in canon?

Seeing Ghost Gal/Girl win more would be better for her to see.

Seeing more of The Shepherd/Blood SHepherd and more dive in with his relationship with Emma would be better to see to flesh him out.

Will we finally see the Wind Ignis origin?

Will we find out who is the Hanoi spy?

okokokokok

1) will blue maiden win more and get more duels?

Omg yesss! She’s meant to be one of the top duellists in the Vrains, let her act as one of the top duellists in Vrains! In the cases where we are making changes to duels, giving her more wins, *important wins*, is a top priority. I worry that a lot of people trying to rewrite the sexism in yugioh duelling would just make up minor characters for her to beat, off screen wins, that is not something we intend to do. We have massive plans :) especially for in season 2 and 3

2) will Ghost Gal win more?

literally she needs to win somethingggg, does she even have a single big win? I dont think shes going to end up with as many duels as Blue Angel, but, wholeheartedly, she is going to have as much *plot significance*. Her canon character really felt like a plot device, or a means to flesh out another character. Sure, she was Akira’s little hacker and she was Blood Shephard’s sister, but her personal goals that were just too simple for my liking, which will be much more fleshed out (and I have just thought of something for this which i’ll actually go speak to the others about right after I’ve posted this)

3) Will we see more of Blood Shephard?

We will! Hes often forgotten, and quite frankly that’s because there was hardly anything to him in canon. I want to delve mode specifically into why his backstory is affecting his actions at the moment. We know his sad backstory, but it doesn’t seem to translate into anything interesting in the way he acts in canon present-day. This will change

4) Will we finally see Wind Ignis Origin?

Yknow here’s where I have to admit, we haven’t thought about this. I dont want to spoil anything, but I doubt he’s going to be alive in the series. The impact it had, finding out that Windy killed his own origin, could never be replicated as strongly if he was alive. That being said, giving the wind ignis origin a backstory, a name and design, from before he died, would be something really interesting to explore. We’re a little afraid to add ocs in major roles because its rare that people like to read about others people’s ocs, but in cases like the wind ignis origin, I think it’ll be fun and worthwhile. Like a flashback situation

5) Will we find out who is the Hanoi Spy?

Im so sorry i can’t remember what this is referring to (its been a while since i watched the show in its entirety, I mostly jump to just my favorite episodes) but if its a plothole i can promise you when we get there we’ll figure something out

- Teal

[work-of-waking-up]

Kinda long but bear with me, it’s kinda interesting! when I was in school I remember learning about the plane that crashed in the Andes on its way to Chile in 1972. It was a sociology class, we were learning about taboos, and we learned a tiny bit (I imagine they didn’t want to delve to deep into this kind of topic) about the different types of cannibalism, including survival cannibalism. I recently did a bit of research to refresh my memory. Sidenote: for some reason people find survival cannibalism to be the most horrifying because it appears to be innate in humans. At the same time, though, it is the type people seem to be more understanding of. I personally think this is the least disturbing of all the types of cannibalism and the concept of this being something that happens sometimes doesn’t actually bother me that much. Especially if the situation is that the person is already dead and doesn’t need to be killed to be consumed. And especially when you consider the fact that these people will eat things like shoes, blankets, cushions, etc. literally everything, before resorting to cannibalism, and oftentimes they need to create some sort of ritual that gives the act a spiritual element because by framing it within the context of religion or spirituality or something otherworldly, it could help to justify their actions and make it easier to swallow (no pun intended). For example, those who survived the plane crash in the Andes were all Catholics and ritualized it to become the spiritual act of taking communion. Anthropologists are divided, but many of them believe that ritualistic cannibalism came AFTER the initial act of survival cannibalism. By creating a ritual surrounding the act, it becomes spiritual, and transcends being simply a means to survive. Anthropologist Peggy Reeves was quoted in the New York Times saying “cannibalism is never just about eating.” And I think as an audience we’re learning that to be true. Anyway. By the 19th century it became almost par for the course if a shipwreck were to happen. The custom of the sea basically gave general guidelines and those who spent their lives at sea were taught that if cannibalism needed to occur they would draw “lots” (like straws). Whoever got the shortest one would be sacrificed, and whoever got the second shortest would be the one to kill them. Knowing this, and taking a guess that the creators of the show did their research on the taboo subject, makes me even more convinced that the cards will be how they choose who dies next (perhaps the person who draws the lowest card). It could be that only a select few know this (we can probably guess who knows) and everyone else is oblivious to the fact that they’re doomed if they pick the wrong card, in an effort to avoid panic, confrontation, and more suffering on the part of the one being sacrificed. I also think the Queen of Hearts card will be used to pick whoever will be the antler queen for their rituals, as maybe they attempt to avoid keeping only one person in charge. Maybe by taking turns making everyone the leader makes the responsibility (and blame) equal. Like “we all took turns leading the others into partaking in these acts so nobody can be blamed more than another.” And it is possible that, because the wilderness so obviously wants Lottie in control, she manages to draw that card every time. Which could cause tension, which could then result in them changing the method in a way that won’t allow for Lottie to be the only antler queen, but then the wilderness punishes them for it. Guess we’ll see! We know the cards, at least the queen of hearts, plays some important role based on them drawing attention to it being lost and then Javi having it, and also Lottie’s vision of the card. It’s fun to guess

Edit to add: when I say the concept of survival cannibalism doesn’t bother me, I mean to say that I know it’s devastating and traumatic and horrific for the people who have to resort to it. But people’s primal instinct to survive by resorting to survival cannibalism doesn’t disturb or disgust me. It seems like a natural response to an extreme life or death situation and it speaks to the nature of the indomitable human spirit.

[dollxholic]

CREATING OCS >> an (long) explanation

this isn’t really a guide but a generalisation. like my experience has been through 7+ years of developing and story-board writing. you don’t need to copy this whole ordeal or whatever to make a good oc, but generally to try and develop your characters these are recommend. made to just remind myself how to create a good oc before uploading. this is specifically for the twst-fandom. tw death, violence, mental + physical health talk. + just being very blunt, the dos and don’ts and research. this was something younger me needed on how to flesh and understand avoiding a Mary Sue, so this should be kept in mind.

creating with the thought of “for fun” would be my priority. please dni with if you’re uncomfortable with the thought of being a decent human being. since twst is a game with no gender for the mc, this is specifically for ocs, for nrc/rsa which are male as this is an all-boy’s school. hence, the example will be a boy- you can still follow with a girl, for sure, but i will refer to the ocs as male. you can follow along with a girl, but please note you’d need a specific reason for a girl to attend an all-boy’s school, and quite frankly i do not know how to do that without making them sound like a Mary Sue, and I likely will never have a female twst oc at nrc/rsa and this was written for me. this isn’t me saying no women, because i’m genderfluid, but it just doesn’t make sense to me to have a girl attend a school dedicated to boys.



TABLET OF CONTENTS;

creating a concept design

how to create a good backstory

how to create a good personality + flaws

how to create unique magic

how to delve into health - mental and physical

how to create a dorm or culture

CONCEPTS / DESIGN

this is solely based off my creative process. when creating an oc, the first thing i do is think of words, or create a background. however, a lot of people do prefer design first, working around that after. when creating a twst oc, my recommendation would be to first find a movie produced by Disney, or perhaps something like Grimm’s fairy tale. not every character is from their franchise, such as Jack? being a wolf.

after finding a movie, look at the antagonists, protagonists, and side-characters. antagonists like the sea witch would be Azul. protagonists would be like Kalim, Neige. and finally Maleficent’s crow, Lilia. even the concept can become a character. try to find the point of the movie that interests you and see if there’s anything to work with, or try to find a villain you really like. for example, we’ll make an oc here together. we are going to use pinnochio’s Stromboli. if rsa you should probably look for the heroine.

after finding a theme or concept, start making an initial design. do this by picking out little details about the character, or what they do. malleus has spindle needles around his waist. this serves as reference to sleepy beauty being pricked. for stromboli, let’s look at his design, a balding old man, not much to work with. now instead of that, he will have a bit below the shoulder hair he keeps tied and the low ponytail in front, as he has a longer beard at the bottom, which his hair replaces. he’s going to have dark-blue hair, like midnight dark blue. his eyes are a lighter colour of golden-amber, his features do not need to stay exact.

when you find simple things about the character or concept, continue to work around them even by word association. Stromboli is a puppet master. he puts on shows. for that, he will be given an open vest-like jacket, with a utility belt around his waist which you can see cross bars at, with wire string and a few pieces of fabric incase his stage partner breaks. since they have different designs, his goes from his waist slanted to a pouch at the thigh, another belt looping around. try looking at the character/concept’s motivation, job, role and create a style for them that feels related or obviously connection to them.

try finding anything else you can come up with, and add that in but do not overdo it. stick to two or three to neither overwhelm yourself or the character. Stromboli’s now a tanned dark haired male with light eyes, to make him look friendlier and inviting. he always carries marionettes on him, and he’s rather average in stature, as 175cm, good height for an Italian. despite being in twst, when creating an oc feel free to look at the original character’s ethnicity in the movie, then research a little to make the looks make sense. im using him as an example the whole way, so he’s going to be from a country i’ve created. this area will be based off italy, hence his design being relevant to italy makes him a bit more realistic, yet twst.

after all that is done, try making a sketch, picrew, or written description. if you do not like it, play around. do not stick with concept one 99% of the time. add smaller details like glasses, gloves, accessories, birthmarks, or more. my oc “ellac yu” has sclera being black due to being a twisted shan-yu. having scars and freckles is not unattractive, they’re realistic and gives them a better feeling than a mary sue all 100% just thin white man who created a tiktok for thirst traps.

once you’re done, going over everything and once satisfied, keep this in mind and visualize them best as possible. their personality, backstory and looks must flow together well. sir Stromboli will not dress in dark colors or a kimono when he’s italian and trying to give off a child-appropriate vibe. children tend to like loud and bright colors which catch their attention, as a children’s entertainer he knows that and dresses accordingly.

BACKGROUND DESIGN

developing a backstory can be overwhelming for many. here’s how to make things quicker. think of four central themes that represent the character, or things you’d like to learn about. the more interested you are, the better your character will be because after you’re invested you will genuinely research. for Stromboli let’s choose these: narcissism, entertainment, marionette, vengeance. Now, next step.

after picking the words, break them down into subcategories. narcissistic people are full of themselves, never take fault, cunning. for him, he will exhibit narcissism based off his childhood environment, believing he is above others, starting with the sense of entitlement. with entertainment, that works with marionette. his family either would introduce him to them at a young age, or his family revolves around them. vengeance, to interpret all this together, he’s got now a core concept of a childhood environment, goal, and ideology all mixed in. the character’s background is vital.

the story you give them must fit their environment, as that determines how people grow up and develop the type of person they are. Stromboli will be a young man who comes from a long lineage of toy-makers, who later opened their own puppet trope which were the top of the line. ever since his family business went downhill due to an employee making allegations, workplace harassment, mistreatment, and more his family generations back had declined. his current goal is to get back at the boy who’s ancestors ruined his, as the people of his town still compare him to his ancestors. a tv-show personality, but narcissistic who only wants money and fame, to be in the right, to be loved as the adults around him always told him he would be the next star. his villain would be pinnochio’s descendent, a likely member of rsa he despises for also being a great children’s entertainer that he believes was stolen from him.

after finding a way to merge it all together, develop more tidbits. start with ages 0-5, the age a child is most vulnerable. were their parents involved or not, were they human or not, were they rich or poor, trouble and showing signs or easily manipulated. the environment around a person shapes them, whether they choose to follow their influence’s footsteps, or run as far in the opposite direction to survive. for Stromboli, he took exactly in their footsteps, and allowed his ego to be fueled by his terrible influences, the stress of it, and the young exposure to the industry will affect his personality and health later.

your oc does not have to resemble you, but do your research. stop making a character a pretty sugar life. that doesn’t exist. everyone feels jealous, angry, annoyed, those are basic human emotions that you wouldn’t consider to be beautiful and perfect. just like your life, your character can come from a single-house, absent parent, parents with generational gaps, jealousy over siblings, lower class, upper class, unhealthy, healthy, mean. give them a backstory which will justify the person they are and their hobbies. it isn’t cringe to use an overused concept, but rather try to find a way to make them work with logic and reason.

a matter of description. tw death, poison. “an orphan who killed their parents.” or “as a child, he didn’t understand what was happening, but his mother’s health was decaying rapidly due to his father poisoning her. he was used as a third party to give her the medicinal cream, and only upon getting older did he realize that he was a pawn to his father. overwhelmed with guilt, he ran away as far as he could, but his father knowing he was a witness chased him. drunkenly, he fell on the ground face first, hard, so hard he stopped moving, causing him to stop running and become overwhelmed with fear and guilt, both his dead parents on his conscious.”

with depth and fleshing out some different methods behind a one-phrase, the character becomes much more followable. a backstory is meant to info-dump the character’s life, so add tidbits in like he baked with his mom, his grandmother loved yellow, his father would often challenge him to eating foods with the most spice, and his brother would often take him to the woods would be a great starter to just create concepts from and help create an environment you could imagine.

PERSONA / FLAWS

a person has many layers, much like an onion according to a famous man. some people are transparent, but others have a whole iceberg. and that iceberg has begun to really go deep. think about yourself, just what do you tell others, tell strangers, and to yourself. you could be smiling at a customer but on the inside be screaming it’s time for your favorite show at home and not exactly be the happiest person like you would think you are. all humans have flaws. that specifically makes you human, such as being jealous, angry, unmotivated, self-driven, anxious, scared, annoying. so will your characters, he cannot be the almighty man you think he is and he never will be perfect, as the perfect man is both subjective, and had to always be constantly alert.

your inner mind wanders unconsciously. you judge, you make assumptions, you feel upset, even for a split second. for as many good qualities, give the bad ones to them. Stromboli works as a child-friendly entertainer, happy, confident, people-person, and loves to help. the motivation behind that though, is since he’s a self-driven narcissistic individual who is two faced and willing to act for fame. much like real actors or people who have been taught from childhood, the world is theirs, he just fakes his empathy as he doesn’t actually understand the meaning of being kind.

making your characters mean, mentally unstable, or hostile is not a crime. what should be- not doing your research. do not give them a mental disorder and claim that affects their personality. do not make these issues a sole personality. a person with adhd is much more than hyper. a person who is dyslexic is not just haha can’t read. a person who is bipolar is just oh no violent. research properly or do not include that as you obviously have no right to call yourself someone with morals. do not give your character a single trait and make it their personality, instead, add more adjectives on to describe them, and why.

although sir Stromboli has a strong case of narcissism-disorder, very clear issues with his big ego, he was raised by narcissists, his backstory reflects his personality with the environment. he is more than a single adjective. he’s smart, able to read the room, cunning, he loves attention, he hates when he’s compared to others like any normal person would be. he had his flaws, he knows this and refuses to change them because he believes he’s right. he is a flawed human being, but besides his negatives he is unarguably hard-working, confident, and stands by his words. he puts in his effort to be where he current stands with his success, he’s strict with himself, he doesn’t have a single-track mind of the world’s mine for free, he works for his world, which makes him entitled due to the success. however, he still has a persecution complex and he always has to be right, or the victim. everyone’s after him if they are not for him.

can’t think about how to develop them? try creating a few hobbies. Stromboli for example spends a lot of time tinkering to create the most beautiful puppets that any craftsman would be jealous of, as his true passion is working with them. he sews their clothes, takes measurements, cuts, adjusts, creates the cross bars, that’s all his hard work and hobby as he believes only he can create the greatest. there he’s already made 3-4 hobbies that tie into his personality, and explain the motivation. ventriloquism, sewing, woodcarving, and performing (plus talking to them like they’re real in an almost threatening manner). which ties him into his real inspiration counterpart. making him more so obvious as an oc, to take after their concept.

with the basis of what could be considered personality, ex hobbies which reflect them as a person, environment raising them, what has been exposed to them, their motivation would be important. what isn’t a personality, once again, are illness. qUirkY. perfect. overpowered. leona has an inferiority complex but that does NOT justify his actions. your character’s bad and toxic traits are meant to exhibit the realistic side of them and not to make them sound cute or something you strive to be.

motivation would be the last tip. what motivates them? connect this with their backstory, and flow the personality juice with that and design. sir Stromboli gets motivated by the fact he wants to destroy others as he felt they did to him, he was the victim, why would anyone side with him? he was right! he only wants happiness! as motivation, he becomes hardworking and tries to make things effortless according to the public and that makes him manipulative. he’s found lying to be second nature. does he even know who he is anymore behind the layers he only shows the public, or does he know exactly he layers because it’s all calculated, just like the rest of his dorm.

UNIQUE / MAGIC

one of my first fandoms was bnha. creating concepts for magic may not be everyone’s thing and it shows… you may be truly fascinated by the thought behind an oc, but scrap them because you cannot think of a great power!

fear not, the best thing about magic is the lameness. anything can be magic. kalim creates a large body of water for drinking.. versus leona who turns people’s bones and skin to dust. jack becomes a fluffy dog… jamil does mind control. jade became a human lie detector while ace has no unique magic in general, just the ability to use basic magic. you can literally make your oc son do anything, as long as it loosely ties into them.

take riddle collaring someone and removing their magic. the red queen didn’t do that but what was her phrase? off with your head. try finding a phrase the character says, a quote to describe the character, and maybe a way to describe the object and work from there. no matter how absolutely creative to the most basic of basic because by the end, their magic will be fleshed. our pal Stromboli… ‘you'll be nothing more than firewood’ would be a good quote. but for going from nothing, let’s create the line for him, ‘steal the show’.

after finding a quote or line that fits them, think of a way to incorporate something. off with your head shackles their heads, a prisoner about to be executed like the queen of heart’s order. for Stromboli he would say ‘steal the show’. although he talks to his puppets like a madman, he sure knows how to use his magic and be charismatic. his unique magic allows him to force a person’s center of attention to completely shift onto him or something he uses his magic on. typically, he uses his magic on his puppet partner, entrancing people without them realizing it, and once midway through the performance they end up staying and watching. he’s not using this for offense, defense, just a skill which benefits him with his line of work.

let’s say you want a powerhouse, though. how do you do that? first think of offense, defense, or health. once picked, decide melee, long ranged. then decided through touch, taste, sound, etc if melee. long ranged can be simplified by thinking of whether they need a certain criteria met. laugh with me makes ruggie do an action at long distance as the person follows. king’s roar turns things he touch into dust. perfect example of close to long range. one uses touch, one uses movement or motion sensory and balance sensory. when under influence, people also don’t tend to realize it!

say you want your oc to specifically do something that isn’t significant to combat or relating to their personality. once again just find a phrase. if Stromboli were to use ‘nothing but firewood’ which could be a direct quote… things can go directly south and all he does is produce firewood! although a bit useful for woodwork just when else would he use the skill for daily life as that’s just an odd unique magic. i mean jack’s a wolf and just.. turns to a fluffier one.

overall just remember: find a phrase, pick something from that which stands out and work around them, and try to find a way to work their personality with it if the unique magic just doesn’t feel right for that guy. no one succeeds their first time and life’s all about having fun. he can change overtime and creating his unique magic is not top important.

HEALTH

how do you write a disability respectfully? do not give someone a hero’s complex, especially yourself, because you read a little about someone’s condition.

rather than an oc, you must ensure you yourself are capable of taking on the topic. there’s no crime giving your character depression, some basic white guy at disney has probably drawn a depressed boy, an emo, but never went through a MySpace phase. pretty sure genshin’s ceo never lost his twin or a loved one to create the traveler, or have them in his game, or went through reincarnation as a zombie who is now unable to feel love. if that’s not stopping the company from adding sad, sad, depressing characters, there’s no reason your’s can’t! even author of novels characters are ocs, since an oc is a character someone creates.

do your research and avoid making them a personality trait. depression is real. there are multiple different types and not just generic big “introvert”. there’s a lot of sub-categories and different illnesses which are genuinely crazy. there’s a mental disorder like AIWS. there’s narcolepsy. phobia. did you know some people are afraid of beautiful women? specifically beautiful. some are even afraid of long words like hippopotomonstrossesquippedaliaphobia.

first time spelt wright.

no matter how small the fear, how big, that can affect mental health. when beginning to enter this domain, try going for that. work on bigger issues later, that includes physical health. start with something like low immune system, then work your way. research your topic. an oc with polycythemia was constantly in the hospital when younger. only when she was older and became stable enough, she was allowed to leave and regularly donates her blood. my oc with AIWS didn’t even hate the feeling, because remember, that her condition was “normal” to her compared to others. let’s say my oc is deaf, i’d research. despite taking two years of asl, that doesn’t make me a genius, so let’s take my friend’s for an example. his oc’s hearing was gradually lost over time, his oc is russian, so he took the sign language which catered to that region specifically. someone who does asl wouldn’t know the signs other than a few because of regional difference.

deaf people have alternatives! cochlear implants which do not give them perfect hearing. did you know they have interpreters? sometimes multiple between a session so one takes a break. did you know that an interpreter’s clothes are the opposite of their skin color so their hands stand out? did you know facial impressions mean a lot to deaf people as that’s part of language? did you know they hear vibrations of loud sounds? whether you did or not, you need to research before slapping an illness/disability and deciding you knew enough by a family member when you personally do not live with that or the person.

one illness tends to link to a few. son Stromboli has undiagnosed narcissism, and an undiagnosed persecution complex. he always has to be the victim. this affects his daily life as he’s likely to never truly be loved, or never capable of loving anyone but himself. he lacks empathy, he could definitely changed but he won’t. you cannot change a person overnight. giving your oc troubles for “plot” should never be a thought. saying your oc recovered from a childhood sickness like deathly chicken-pox and learned from that though, to cherish life and to be more sympathetic to others is not insulting though since you are not actively making fun of the person but rather giving them a realistic outcome of said experience. do not make fun of death, disabilities, or use them for plot, essentially. if you’re currently doing this and didn’t know why it’s bad, you can learn.

do not ever tackle things you do not know. do not try bothering representing a minority when you do not know their actual struggles. not interested to research and thinking that peoples genuine troubles are quirky for an oc? minorities and disabilities do not need to be misrepresented, they should be treated like actual humans. i really hate having to remind people that doing research is something to always do first.

DORM / CULTURE

creating a dorm seems like a big task. surprisingly not when you break down the whole creation. once again, my perspective and we will use the example of Stromboli the entertainment lotus. Concept, characters, culture, foundation, and relationship.

Concept- pick a movie, film, or book. grimm’s little red riding hood, beauty and the beasts, 1O1 Dalmatians. look at the antagonists and the protagonists. figure the goal or motivation of the villain, your dorm’s foundation links with their ideology.

Characters- find the villains, find the objects. just pick characters you find fun or have a good design. let’s see… two main villains? make a dorm with that base. oh this object plays a major part to being a plot device of the movie? personification time. a good maximum would be five, but a minimum two.

Culture - trace their culture. Italians have a bit of a tanner skin or olive. they tend to have more black-brown hair, bright eyes. they tend to be a little tall. look at their food. look at their metabolism. look at their genetics which give them their body shape. look at their history and turn that to your advantage.

Foundation - what represents your dorm? tenacity, pride, arrogance, order, intelligence. what do they excel at? studies, physical, potion? what does the main character of your chosen concept show off as their great skill?

Relationship - did you know Leona and Malleus do not get along? sounds like characters have people they dislike.. how do the other characters of the world see your’s, and how do your guy’s see them? Are they known for beauty like Pomefiore and them being stuck up weak pretty boys like Savanaclaw claims. Or are they strong and unapproachable like Diasomnia to the others?

Adding that together, here’s unnamed example. the dorm head with three members, he’s based off Stromboli. His vice dorm leader the twisted honest John. The third is based off a marionette he controls, very weak to him and borderline submissive from fear. He comes from a country with a semi-warm climate, great for vacation and sightseeing where people often visit him. the live performances are one of a kind. his dorm was based around the great entertainer Strombolis light-heartedness. this dorm focuses on entertainment, most students are in the drama club and strive to debut and strike it big under different things. for example, some first years dance, others sing, some perform, some do magic, others are great with the camera. almost everyone there has an online-presence, being self-cautious about their image. the dorm head gets picked by their ability to garner the most public attention during a performance night, unique magic encouraged.

his home-town has never let the rumours me die about his family’s allegations. due to this, he ignores the majority of them including the neighborhood children and even looks down on him. they’re judgmental, he’s the victim. his town only gets tourists because of him and his fame, yet they are ungrateful. he has a great media precense as a child star, and his dorm members resemble his ideology greatly, for the most part, and respect him for being able to act wonderfully. he reminds them to try and not get dead last for their reputation, but other than that he barely does the actual dorm work, forcing it onto his vice as he lacks the time. he tends to spend his time preparing his script, making the best puppet, and booking performances, he wants to crush that RSA-descendent so bad he neglects others for even five seconds of screen time to say he’s better.

overall, he’s a fun and happy charismatic and popular man with a pretty face and great talent for his passion! just deep within his dorm, the students know his and their intentions to dominate all entertainment.

do not take this as professional advice. you’re free to do whatever and when I first started actually making proper ocs at like 13, these were common misconceptions or issues have creating an oc or even help with oc block for me to do think of characters for fun. just remember, research is your best friend. im by no means a professional or self-proclaim greatest oc creator.

you could probably make a girl at rsa. dunno. you could make one at nrc. dunno. yuusona are the gn, so they could be female since they came from a different world. however a twisted fem oc going to an all-boy school… would be harder to write and explain so not delving to that side of the ocean. young me wondered why female ocs couldn’t be in male-only schools/places and now older me realizes 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ no matter how hard you try to give a reason it’s just way too difficult to make them fleshed out, understandablw, and cba.

dn reblog to send hate. dn repost. my other fandom days are over, and would be highly appreciated for you to not edit this to fit your own fandom and upload this there, thank you<3

[ray-ray-writings]

Forget Me Not-SBI

…. To the person that requested this…. Why? Why would you rip my heart out like this… 

This is a SBI x gn!reader in the dreamsmp. So in this, Dream is kind of like an immortal being who is one age and has been that age for a really long time… You’ll see more what I mean when you get into it…. 

This is fine in the beginning and then it gets hella sad….. You’ve been warned.

Masterlist here 

The garden. That’s where it all began with Y/N and the Minecraft family... It’s unfortunate that’s where it all ended as well. 

Y/N’s POV

I met Phil many years ago in my garden. I had lived alone in the middle of nowhere for many years. After months of feeling lonely, I built a beautiful garden with not only lots of fruits and vegetables, but also lots of flowers so that all types of animals and insects could come and hang out in my garden. One day, I peeked out into the garden and found a man with two young children admiring the rows of plants. I didn’t mind, I was just curious as to the new people that had wandered onto my property. 

“Hello” I greeted softly, approaching the three carefully trying to appear non threatening. The blonde man whipped around with wide eyes, revealing that what I thought was three people is actually four because there was a baby strapped to his chest. “Who might you new friends be?” I asked softly. “Oh! I’m so sorry. I didn’t know anyone lived here. I just wanted to show my sons around a beautiful garden to get them to calm down, I’m sorry again, we’ll leave!” He rushed out, grabbing his two standing son’s hands before trying to leave. The poor man looked exhausted. Like he just needed a break from… Well from his children. 

I quickly held my hand out to stop him from moving, “No, you’re quite alright. You just startled me. It has been quite a long time since I’ve had visitors. My name is Y/N!” I introduced myself, hoping to further reassure the father and his children. The blonde man gave me a kind smile and let go of his brunette child’s hand, “I’m Philza, you can call me Phil.” I took his hand with a smile and shook it. “It’s very nice to meet you Phil.” “You as well Y/N. These are my three sons, Wilbur” he says, motioning to the brunette, “Techno. And the baby is Tommy.” I gave each child a warm smile. “It’s very nice to meet you boys as well…. Would it be alright if I showed your boys around the garden myself? You could go inside and relax for a bit if you wanted!” Philza hesitated for a moment, but couldn’t help the wave of relief that washed over him. “Yes. Please, that would be lovely.” 

After chatting for a few more moments, Philza handed me Tommy and told the two other boys what would be happening. “I’ll be right inside, okay? Yell if you need anything.” And then Philza went inside. I had just met the man, but I knew I could trust him. “Alright boys, what do we want to look at first?” The four of us slowly moved about the garden. I told them everything there was to know about the plants I had been growing and answered each and every one of their questions with the utmost patience. 

“Y/N! What kind of flowers are these?” Wilbur asked, his eyes wide and his small fingers reaching out and caressing the blue petals of a small flower. I smiled fondly at the flower before diving in. “Well Wilbur, those are Forget Me Nots and they are my favorite. They represent remembrance, a promise to always remember someone. They also represent love and protection. If you give someone a Forget Me Not, it means you truly love them and would go to the ends of the earth to protect them…” I explained softly. 

Pondering for a moment, I reached out and picked four of the flowers. “Here,” I offered the boy softly, extending out the flower to him. Wilbur stared at me with wide eyes before softly reaching out and taking the flower from my fingers, “But you just said-” “I know what I said,” I cut in gently, extending my hand out and offering another of the flowers to Techno who also carefully took it. “I know I just met you today, but I would do anything for you boys okay? Anything you need, I’ll be there.” I told them softly as I rested yet another of the flowers next to Tommy’s sleeping head. For the first time today, the boys were silent, staring intensely at the blue petals of the flower that symbolized my promise to protect them. 

“Now how about we go inside and give this one to your dad, huh? Then you boys can help me make dinner” The boys seemed to break out of their trance at that. Snatching the remaining flower from my hand, Wilbur bolted to the house, “I’m going to win!” He called over his shoulder to his pink headed brother. “No you’re not!” Techno screeched back, chasing after him. I couldn’t help but laugh at the interaction before slowly following the boys inside. Yeah, I’m pretty sure I would do anything for them. 

Ever since then, the boys had become my family. Phil would come over with his sons and hang out. Sometimes when he needed a break, I would offer to take them off his hands for a while. At first he felt guilty for accepting, but he soon faded from that habit and learned that just because he needed some help sometimes did not make him weak. I watched the boys grow before my eyes. Tommy went from being carried everywhere to throwing a tantrum if you tried to pick him up without warning. Wilbur slowly became more and more invested in the garden, spending many hours out there with me, helping me in any way he could learning everything for himself. Techno broke out of his shell more and also spent a lot of time in the garden with Will and me, although he usually sat back and just watched. 

One day while we were out in the garden, Dream appeared. I hadn’t seen Dream in a long time. We had once been friends. But over time, he slowly became a completely different person. Ruining people’s lives for fun and having no regret or remorse for it. So one day I left. I left for the middle of nowhere and never looked back, never expecting him to find me. But of course he had. 

“Well, well, well… What do we have here?” I almost couldn’t believe the voice that called from behind me. I slowly stood up from what I was doing and carefully turned around. I could feel the twin’s eyes on me as I stood to confront the figure. “What are you doing here, Dream?” I questioned in as stern of a voice as I could. Dream let out a mock laugh as he crossed his arms in front of him, “Now, now. Is that anyway to greet your best friend?” I let out an irritated sigh and rolled my eyes, “You’re not my best friend. You are just somebody that I used to know. Now tell me what you want or get the hell off my property.” I finally snapped, just wanting answers. 

A fake pout peeked out from under Dream’s white smiley face mask. “Awe, Y/N/N. That hurts. That really hurts… But I would watch your words and your tone… You wouldn’t want those two boys to get hurt, would you?” My eyes snapped to the two young teens standing by my side. “Boys, get inside the house.” I growled under my breath. “But Y/N-” “Now” I snapped. They didn’t question me again. Wilbur and Techno sprinted to the house. I watched carefully as the door shut behind them before turning back to Dream. “If you even so much as think about laying a single finger on them, I swear to God I will kill you.” Dream smirked, “Oh come on now. You wouldn’t hurt your best friend, would you?” “You’re not my best friend!” I broke, I marched forward and swung my fist at his face, which he caught. “And here I thought we could have a civil conversation.” 

Dream threw my hand back and quickly struck back, his own fist flying for my face, which I easily blocked. The two of us took a step back, each scanning the other’s body before lunging back into the fight. Punches and kicks fly as both of us try desperately to get the other hand. It’s no use. We know each other too well. 

The fight could have gone on forever if not for Philza. Wilbur and Techno must have gone and gotten their father because all of the sudden there are hands on my shoulders and I’m being pulled off of Dream. “Y/N!” He exclaims, turning me to face him, “What’s going on? Who is this?” I broke myself from the concerned man’s grip and turned to the green hoodie cladded man. “Go home Dream. Go home.” 

Dream reaches up and gently removes his mask from his face allowing our eyes to connect. His emerald green eyes burned with a fury that I hadn’t seen in many many years. I allowed my eyes to roam his face, taking in the subtle changes that have taken place over his face. A small smirk quirked on my lips as I watched blood drip from his nose, knowing I was the one to do that. It must hurt… Good

“You’ve made a big mistake Y/N. All I wanted to do was talk. Wanted you to stand by my side once again.” I let out a scoff, “I will never stand by your side again Dream. You’re a monster and that is something I will never be.” The fury in his eyes seemed to burn brighter as his deamour shifted even darker, “You’re going to regret this Y/N. I swear. I’ll get you one day and you will regret not joining me. It will come from nowhere and you’ll regret it.” “That will never happen. Now get the hell out of here.” And for once in his life, Dream did as he was told. 

After I was sure Dream was gone, I turned back to Phil with a sheepish smile on my face, “Thanks for that… That fight would have gone on for literal ever. Turns out when you’re best friends with someone for many years, you learn their fighting styles and can predict their every move.” Philza just stared at me in shock. “Who was that?” I let out a sigh before delving into a short version of the story. “That was Dream. He’s been alive for like, ever, and will be alive for the same amount of time. We used to be best friends… And then he changed and I didn’t want to be around that, so I left. Today was the first time I’ve seen him in years. It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m here and safe.” Philza seemed to accept my answer and pulled me into a tight hug. “Okay, well I’m glad you’re okay.” I hugged him back tightly. 

My eyes flickered to my house and I let out a small laugh at the thing that stared back at me from inside my house. Philza pulled back and gave me a curious look. “We should go inside. It looks like two boys are very eager to ask questions.” I noted, pointing over his shoulder at the two boys that were peering through my kitchen window, curious looks on both their faces. Phil turned around and laughed at the sight as well. Phil put a hand on my lower back and walked with me inside the house. 

Once I was inside, two sets of arms wrapped around me. I immediately hugged Techno and Wilbur back. “I’m okay guys. Thank you for listening and going inside the house. And thank you for getting your dad for me. I really appreciate it.” “Anything for you,” Wilbur murmured against my shoulder, “You promised to protect us the day we met you… We’re going to do the same for you.” His words caused me to melt. I can’t believe he still remembers that. I squeezed my arms around them tighter. My boys. 

We embraced for a few moments longer before pulling away with a small smile. Techno cleared his throat drawing my attention to him. “Do you think… That maybe you could teach me to fight like you? Just so that I can be prepared in case Dream comes back I can help fight?” His question surprised me. I slowly looked over to Phil who simply gave me a shrug, “Up to you.” I turned back to Techno with a soft smile. “Sure bud, we can start tomorrow morning if you want.” A bright grin, one I rarely ever see from Techno, spread across the pink headed boy’s face. “Yes, please! Thank you!” “Of course kiddo… Now let’s get cleaned up for dinner.” 

So everyday since that day, I trained Techno in the morning. It didn’t take long for him to become better than me. But still, everyday without fail Techno and I sparred. I would also tell him about Dream’s fighting style so that if he ever did come back, Techno would be ready. I assured him though, that Dream wouldn’t be back though. That nothing would ever happen. Oh how I wish I was wrong. 

Dream did come back. On the day I least expected it. 

I was in the garden, tending to the flowers. I gave Techno the day off of training, deciding he had been working hard enough that he deserved a day off. So having the morning free, I decided I would take the time to tend to my garden on my own, something that I hadn’t done since the day I met the Minecraft family. It was nice to have a little time to myself, but as I tended to the Forget Me Nots, I couldn’t help but miss my boys. 

“Hello Y/N” Dream’s cruel voice greeted me from behind, startling me from my work. I felt irritation flood my veins as I rose from my kneeling position, turning around to face him. I felt my blood run cold as my eyes caught sight of the enchanted netherite sword that rested by his side. “Dream… What are you doing here?” I questioned, my eyes flickering to his white mask. I watched the bottom half of his face flicker into a smirk, “I warned you didn’t I? I would be back when you least expected it. Today’s that day.” He claimed with a huge grin, taking a few steps forward, raising his sword toward me. “Dream,” I whispered, horrified, “Don’t do this.”

I was defenseless. I had no shield, no weapon to defend myself. I knew if I tried to book it to my house, Dream would kill me before I even got half way. I couldn’t yell for anyone, I lived in the middle of nowhere and none of the boys were around. I was trapped with no way out. 

“Don’t do this? No I think I will do this. I told you, you would regret it, today’s that day Y/N. Today’s the day.” I didn’t get to respond. Dream lunged forward and the sword was plunged into my stomach. I wanted to scream but I couldn’t. All I could do was let out a painful gasp as I collapsed on top of the sword. I couldn’t stop my hand that reached out and grabbed onto Dream’s bicep. Slowly, I looked up and met the white mask. Making a decision, I reached up with my free hand and ripped the mask off his face. If he was going to let me die, he would have to look me in the eyes when he does it. 

Utter shock filled his face as the mask fell to the ground. His emerald eyes flickered down to where his sword had punctured my body. Regret seemed to fill his face, but only for a moment. Indifference took its place before a forced smirk played on his lips. Another gasp was ripped from my throat as Dream wretched the sword from its place in abdomen. The only thing that was keeping me on my feet was the hand on Dream’s bicep. Once he realized that, my hand was ripped from his body causing me to lose my balance and crash into the ground. 

Dream loomed over me, a satisfied smirk painted on his lips. “Should have listen to me Y/N… Should have-” “Y/N!” A scream roared through the air. Techno was here, why is Techno here? Dream’s head snapped away from me toward the direction of the voice. He looked back to me and forced that smirk once more. “It’s too late,” he stated calmly, “You’ve lost too much blood… Goodbye Y/N… Should have taken me up on that offer” Dream almost sounded sad. I didn’t get a chance to say anything because then he was gone. 

“Y/N!” Techno’s voice called again. I couldn’t call back. Everything hurt too much and I was getting too sleepy. Through my blurry vision, I could see Phil kneel down beside me, Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy close behind him. I could feel his hands find their way to my stomach where he tried to put pressure on the wound. “No, please. Y/N” Philza begged, trying desperately to stop the bleeding, but deep down we all knew it was too late. “Phil,” I whispered, my hand reaching out and cupping his face. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay. You’ll be okay without me.” 

“Don’t talk like that Y/N. You’re going to be okay too. Please, you have to be okay,” Wilbur’s voice broke as he sank to his knees beside Phil. Tommy and Techno both joined him, each of their hands reaching out and grasping at a part of my body. “Yeah, we still have so much to do together. I have so many pranks I have to pull on you… Don’t leave.” Tommy said, trying to remain strong, and failing a bit as tears streamed down his cheeks. “Please don’t go,” Techno begged, “I still have so much to learn from you. Don’t go. Stay. Stay here. With us.” 

I gave them all a sad smile, pulling my hand away from Phil’s face and resting it by my head above me, my fingertip brushing against the flower bush planted there. “Stay? I would love to stay and be with you boys. But it seems that I can’t.” Gathering all my remaining strength, I reached up and pulled a handful of the flowers from the bush. I let out a small laugh as they came into my view, just as beautiful as the day I planted them. Slowly, I reached my hand out to the boys. Techno was the first to get the message. His fingers reached out and softly plucked one bunches of flowers from my hand, as careful as the day we met. Three other hands slowly reached out and plucked the remaining flowers from my hand. 

Once the blue flowers left my hand, I allowed my arm to collapse to my stomach to rest. “Forget me not” I breathed out before my eyes fluttered closed. Sobs filled my ears as I allowed myself to fall deeper and deeper into a black nothingness… And soon, there was nothing at all. 

*POV Switch*

Third Person POV

Y/N was buried the next day in their favorite outfit in their favorite place, the garden, under their favorite flowers, the Forget Me Nots. The death hit the family of four extremely hard. Days and weeks went by as the four tried desperately to fix the hole that Y/N’s left in each of their hearts. 

Techno was in denial the longest. Going to Y/N’s house everyday in the morning, knocking on their front door waiting for them to answer the door so the two could train together. But every morning without fail, the hole in Techno’s heart grew as his incessant knocking when unanswered. Techno only leaves the house once his eyes catch sight of the grave constructed in Y/N’s garden. 

Wilbur took over taking care of the garden. He could be found many times a week slaving in the hot sun making sure that every single plant was thriving and perfect. He feels like he owes it to Y/N… If he couldn’t protect Y/N, maybe he could protect the garden.*

Tommy got really quiet. His usual loud manner and joking demeanour vanished once Y/N died. His pranks against his family stopped. He didn’t feel right joking in a world Y/N wasn’t in. 

Philza was hit the hardest. He had to put up a brave front for his children. But at night he would allow himself to collapse. Y/N was his friend… His best friend… No. A piece of his family. They understood him like no one ever had. They had taken care of him and his family asking for nothing in return for years. Philza blames himself for many months. Had he gotten there quicker, Y/N would have survived. It was his fault they were dead.**

Everyone grew more protective of one another after that. Never letting one go anywhere alone, not that they wanted to anyway. Although they were protective of each other, the three boys were way more protective of Philza. They had already lost one parental figure. There would be no coming back if they lost the other. 

Techno was almost always the one to accompany Philza on his trips. Training even harder to make sure that nothing would ever be able to sneak up on them or take him down. Every possible threat would find itself dead before it could even think to agro to Philza. With every swing of his weapon, Techno silently thanked Y/N for teaching him so well and swore to avenge them by killing Dream… One day. 

Wilbur became protective over the words that were said about and to Philza. Not hesitating to physically fight someone that said a single bad word about his father. Philza was the strongest man Wilbur had ever known, he understood that now, and so insulting Philza would not fly by Wilbur. 

Tommy began to do everything he could for Philza. He wanted to make sure that Phil knew how much he was appreciated and how much he was loved by his children. Tommy would make sure that Philza had enough food, that chores were done, things were clean, and everything was put in its place. Tommy knew now how much the little things meant. 

Slowly, the four healed together. Laughter and smile crept back into their household as months passed by. The four made regular trips to Y/N’s house. They left gifts and letters one Y/N’s grave, hoping wherever they were they would accept them as an unspoken apology. Taking time to admire the garden started by their beloved family member, currently being kept by Wilbur. 

Their eyes always linger on the Forget Me Nots. The flower that they got at the beginning and the end. Y/N’s favorite flower. Each time they visit, gentle hands reach out and pick five flowers… One for each of them and the final one for Y/N. No words are ever said as they gather their flowers, they don’t need them. The meaning of the gentle blue flower speaks for itself. The silent promise. Forget me not. 

There you go… I really hope you enjoyed. Writing this legitimately made me cry, see the notes below. (the asterisks correlate to the ones in the imagine and points out where my tears occurred). If you did enjoy, please please be sure to leave a like and maybe even a reply or a reblog!

Notes: 

*I kid you not, I know I’m the one that wrote it, but I began crying at that line. Like full on crying because it made me so sad. It doesn’t help I was listening to my sad playlist when I wrote this imagine.

**FUCK. I’M CRYING AGAIN. OH MY GOD WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF???

P.P.S. This is what a forget me not looks like if you didn’t know. 

[thedeadhandofseldon]

The Anti-Mercer Effect

On the Accessibility of D&D, Why Unprepared Casters is so Fun, and Why Haley Whipjack is possibly the greatest DM of our generation.

(Apologies to my mutuals who aren’t in this fandom for the length of this, but as you all know I have never in my life shut up about anything so… we’ll call it even for the number of posts about Destiel I see every day.

To fellow UC fans - I haven’t listened to arc 4 yet, I started drafting this in early August, and I promise I will write a nice post about how great Gus the Bard is once I get the chance to listen to more of his DMing).

Structure - Or, “This is not the finale, there will be more podding cast”

So, first of all, let’s just talk about how Unprepared Casters works. Because it’s kind of unusual! Most of the other big-name D&D podcasts favor this long, grand arcs; UC has about 10 hours of podcast per each arc. And that’s a major strength in a lot of ways: it makes it really accessible to new listeners, because you can just start with the current arc and understand what’s going on!

And by starting new arcs every six or seven episodes, they can explore lots of ways to play D&D! Classic dungeon delve arc! Heist arc! Epic heroes save the world arc! Sportsball arc! They can touch on all sorts of things!

And while I’m talking about that: Dragons in Dungeons, the first arc, makes it incredibly accessible as a show - because it lets the unfamiliar listener get a sense of what D&D actually is. (It’s about telling stories and making your friends feel heroic and laugh and cry, for the record). If I had to pick a way to introduce someone to the game without actually playing it with them, that arc would definitely be it.

And I’d be remise not to note one very important thing: Haley Whipjack and Gus the Bard are just very funny, very charismatic people. Look. Episode 0s tend to be about 50%(?) those two just talking to each other about their own podcast. It shouldn’t work. And yet it DOES, its one of my favorite parts, because Haley and Gus are just cool.

And a side note that doesn’t fit anywhere else: I throw my soul at him! I throw a scone at him - that’s it, that’s the vibe. The whole podcast alternates between laughing with your friends and brooding alone in a dark tavern corner - but the laughs never forced and the dark corner is never too dark for too long.

Whipjack the Great - Or, the DM is Also a Player!

I think Haley Whipjack is one of the greatest Dungeon Masters alive. The plots and characters! The mechanical shenanigans! The descriptions!

Actually, let’s start there: with the descriptions. (Both Haley and Gus do this really fucking well). As we know, Episode 0 of each arc sees the DM reading a description - of a small town, or the Up North, or the recent history of a great party. And Haley always strikes this tricky balance - one I think a lot of us who DM struggle with - between giving too much description and  worldbuilding, and not telling us anything at all. She describes people and events in just enough detail to imagine them, but never so much they seem static and unreal - just clear enough to envision, but with enough vagueness left to let your imagination begin to run wild.

While I’m thinking about arc 3’s party, let’s talk about a really bold move she made in that arc: letting the players have ongoing control of their history. Loser Lars! She didn’t try to spell out every detail of this high-level party’s history, or restrict their past to only what she decided to allow - she gave them the broad outlines, and let them embellish it. And that made for a much more alive story than any attempt to create it by herself would have - but I think it takes a lot of courage to let your players have that agency. Most Dungeon Masters (myself included) tend to struggle with being control freaks.

And the plots! Yeah, arc one is built of classic tropes - but she actually uses them, she doesn’t get caught up in subverting everything or laughing at the cliches. And it’s fun! In arc 3, there really isn’t a straight line for the players to follow, either - which makes the game much more interesting and much trickier to run. And her NPCs are fantastic and I will talk about them in the next section.

Above all, though, I think what is really impressive is how Haley balances mechanics, and rules as written, with the narrative and rule of cool - and puts both rules and story in the service of playing a fun game. And the secret to that? She’s the DM, but the DM is a player, and the DM is clearly having fun. Hope Lovejoy mechanically shouldn’t get that spellslot back, but she does, and it’s fun. The changeling merchant in Thymore doesn’t really make some Grand Artistic Narrative better, but wow is it fun. And she never tries to force it one way or the other - the story might be more dramatic if Annie didn’t manage to banish the demon from the vault, but it’s a lot cooler and a lot more fun for the players if Annie gets to be a badass instead - and the rules and the dice say that Annie managed it.

Settings feel like places, NPCs feel like people, and the narrative plot feels like a real villainous plot.

Anyway. I could go on about the various ways in which Whipjack is awesome for quite a while - she’s right, first place in D&D is when your friends laugh and super first place is when they cry - but I’m going to stop here and just. Make another post about it some other time. For now, for the record I hold her opinions about the game in higher esteem than I do several official sourcebooks; that is all.

Characters - Or, Bombyx Mori Is Not an Asshole, And That Matters

Okay, I said I would talk about characters! And I will!

Just a general place to start: the party! All of the first three parties are interesting to me, because they all care about each other. Not even necessarily in a Found Family Trope sort of way, though often that too. But they generally aren’t assholes to each other. The players create characters that actually work together, that are interesting; even when there’s internal divisions like SK-73 v. Sir Mr. Person, they aren’t just unpleasant and antagonistic all the time. Listening to the podcast, we’re “with” these people for a couple hours - and it isn’t unpleasant. That matters a lot. (To take a counter-example: I love Critical Role, but the episode when Vox Machina pranked Scanlan after he died and was resurrected wasn’t fun to listen to, it was just uncomfortable and angering and vaguely cruel).

All of the PCs are amazing, and the players in each arc did a great job. If you disagree with me about that, well, you have the right to be incorrect and I am sorry for your loss. Annie Wintersummer, for one example: tragic and sad and I want to give her a hug, but also Fuck Yeah Wintersummer, and also her familiar Charles the Owl is the cutest and funniest and I love him. And we understand what’s going on with Annie, she isn’t some infinite pool of hidden depths because this arc is 7 episodes and we don’t have time for that, but she also has enough complexity to be interesting. Same with Fey Moss: yeah, a lot of her is a silly pun about fame that carries into how she behaves, but a lot of how she behaves is also down to some good classic half-elven angst about parenthood and wanting to be known and seen and important. (Side note: if your half-elf character doesn’t have angst, well, that’s impressive and also I don’t think I believe you).

There are multiple lesbian cat-people in a 4-person party and they both have requited romantic interests who aren’t each other. This is the future liberals want and I am glad for it.

Sir Mister Person, the human fighter! Thavius, the edge lord! Even when a character is “simple,” they’re interesting, because of how they’re played as people and not action-figures. And that matters a lot.

In the same way: the NPCs. There really aren’t a lot of them! And some of them come from Patreon submissions, so uh good work gang, you’re part of the awesomeness and I’m proud of you! The point being, the NPCs work because enough of them are interesting to matter. It’s not just a servant who opens Count Michael’s door, it’s a character with a name (Oleandra!) and a personality and history. They’re interesting. Penny Lovejoy didn’t need to be interesting, the merchant outside the Laughing Mausoleum didn’t need to be interesting, but they ARE! And Haley and Gus EXCEL at making the NPCs matter, not just to the story but to us as viewers. I agree with Sir Mister Person, actually, I would die for the princesses of the kingdom. I actually care about Gem Lovejoy of all people - that wouldn’t happen in an ordinary campaign! That’s the thing that makes Unprepared Casters spectacular - and, frankly, it’s especially impressive because D&D does not tend to be good at making a lot of interesting compared to a lot of other sorts of stories.

And, just as an exemplar of all this: Bombyx Mori. Immortal, reincarnating(?), and described as the incarnation of the player’s ADHD. I expected to hate Bombyx, because as the mom friend both in and out of my friend-group’s campaigns, the chaos-causer is always exhausting to me. And yeah, Bombyx causes problems on purpose! But! She is not an asshole.

And that’s important. Bombyx goes and sits with the queen and comforts her. Bombyx gives Annie emotional support. Bombyx isn’t just a vehicle to jerk around the DM and other players; Bombyx really is a character we can care about. To compare with another case - in the first couple episodes of The Adventure Zone, the PCs are just dicks. Funny, but dicks. Bombyx holds out an arm “covered in larva” to shake with a count, and robs him of magical items, but she also cares about her friends and other people! She uses a powerful magical gem to save her fertilizer guy from death! Yeah, Bombyx is ridiculous, but she’s not just an asshole the party has to keep around for plot reasons; you can see why her party would keep her around. And one layer of meta up, she’s the perfect example of how to make a chaotic character like that while still being fun for everyone you’re playing with, which is often not the case. And I love her.

The Anti-Mercer Effect - Or, “I think we proved it can be fun, you can have a good time with your friends. And it doesn’t have to be scary, you can just work with what you know”

The Mercer Effect basically constitutes this: Matthew Mercer, Dungeon Master of Critical Role, is incredible (as are all of his players). They’re all professional story-tellers in a way, remember, and so Critical Role treats D&D like a narrative art-form, and it’s inspiring. Seeing that on Critical Role sets impossible standards - and people go into their own home games imagining that their campaigns will be like Critical Role, and the burden of that expectation tends to fall disproportionately on the DM. And the end result, I think, of the Mercer Effect is that we get discouraged or intimidated, because our game isn’t “as good as” theirs. (And I should note - Matt certainly doesn’t want that to be our reaction).

So the Anti-Mercer Effect is two things: it’s D&D treated like a game, and it’s inspiring but not intimidating. And Unprepared Casters manages both of those really freaking well. Because they play it like a game! A UC arc looks just like a good campaign in anyone’s home game. They have the vibes of 20-somethings and college students playing D&D for fun because that’s who they are (as a 20-something college student who plays a lot of D&D, watching it felt like watching my friends play an especially good campaign). They’re trying to tell a good story, sure, and they always do. But first and foremost, they’re trying to have fun, and it shows, and I love the UC cast for it.

And that’s the other half of it: it’s inspiring! It’s approachable; you can see that Haley and Gus put plenty of work into preparing the game but it also doesn’t make you feel like you need hundreds of pages of worldbuilding to run a game. Sometimes a cleric makes Haley cry and she gives them back a spell-slot from their deity! That’s fantastic! It’s just inspiring - listening to this over the summer, when my last campaign had fallen apart under the strain of graduation, is why I decided to plan and run my new one!

That quote from Haley Whipjack that I used as the title for this section? That’s the whole core of this idea, and really, I think, the core of the podcast.

The Mercer Effect is when you go “that’s really cool, I could never do that.” But Unprepared Casters makes you look at D&D and go “wow, that looks really fun. I bet I can do that!” And I love the show for it.

And I bet a lot of you do too.

[omgitsshrimp]

[SPOILERS from Manga!] Attack on Titan Theory: The baby was NOT PLANNED.

MAJOR SPOILER WARNING!! IF YOU’RE ANIME ONLY SKIP THIS POST! 

I thought I’d share my own theory on the whole situation with Eren and Historia. Keep in mind this is just my opinion/interpretation of everything so far. I just want to get my two cents in. 

I know suggesting that the baby isn’t planned sounds nuts, but hear me out. In Ch 130 we’re shown panels of Eren and Historia discussing the military’s plans for her, Eren telling her his plan, and Historia discussing a baby with Eren. 

In one panel, Historia is standing in front of the wooden fence, on the left side of the panel; then in a later panel she’s standing in front of the wooden fence on the right side of the panel. 

I don’t think this is by accident. This implies that Eren and Historia met up more than once, which opens up a strong possibility of them meeting up several times in the past. So when Historia asks Eren about having a baby, we don’t know if she said that in the same conversation as the earlier panels. It could have happened at a completely different time. We only have a close up of her face when she says it, and we dont see the whole convo, which means we don’t know the full context around her bringing up a baby to Eren.  

*Assuming they have met up several times, it begs the question, why does Eren even meet up with Historia? In my opinion, it’s because he has feelings for her, and they might be involved romantically.

 We know that the songs for AoT can allude to or foreshadow events in the story. I feel like Eren and Historia’s meet ups were alluded to in two songs (that I know of) in AoT OST, “Zero Eclipse” and “Yuugure no Tori” (ed3).

Zero Eclipse (only later part of the song is related to Eren):

“Make a promise that I cannot regret, As long as I can see you but in secret”

Yuugure no Tori:

“I’ll sing out with my girl, Go to the meeting place sing alone”

If the Baby was Planned, It Would Contradict Eren’s ideals/motivation

Another reason I don’t think the baby is planned is because if the point is to not produce kids just for a strategic purpose then why would Eren and Historia make a plan to do just that? (ie having a baby to put off Historia eating Zeke). Having the reason for making a child be reduced to convenience/serving your plan doesn’t sit right with me. It doesn’t align with Eren’s beliefs, in my opinion.

Assuming that Eren and Historia are romantically involved and have been physically intimate for some time, I think its fair to consider that this baby was conceived by chance (as well as love) rather than some sort of necessity brought on by a situation. I think upon hearing what the military was planning for Historia, Eren decided to make plans for another way that wouldn’t sacrifice her. I don’t think that involved making a child. I think the child came about by chance and the panel of Historia asking Eren about a baby was maybe part of a longer conversation where she was telling him that she was pregnant. I know I’m making a lot of assumptions, but I don’t think its impossible. 

I think from there, Eren and Historia came up with a plan to hide the pregnancy in order to protect Historia from being connected to Eren, since he knew he was going to start going against the military and wanted to protect Historia from any association with that. And also, kept it secret because if Zeke some how found out, it would compromise Zeke’s confidence in Eren and mess up Eren’s plans. Eren and Historia’s plan to keep the paternity a secret involved lying about the due date and using the Farmer as a cover. I suspect the farmer guy agreed because he really did feel guilty about bullying Historia as a child. The fact that he felt guilty enough to work there for years opens the possibility of him willing to go along with Eren and Historia’s plan, so he can make up for everything.

Paneling Choices

Now I want to talk about Isayama’s choices when it comes to the panels in ch 130, specifically in regards to the scene of Eren making his plans, Eren and Historia talking, and Eren and Zeke discussing Mikasa. How Isayama chose to order these panels seemed to me, very intentional and meticulous. 

In the previous panels in the same chapter we see Eren refusing to allow Historia to be sacrificed and we see him willing to go against humanity for her (and Paradis as a whole). Isayama decided to shows us the process of Eren deciding to carry out this plan through his interactions with Historia, as if to convey that she’s a big reason for why he’s doing all this. He’s emphasizing her importance in how Eren came to start this mission by positoning her front and center. This sequence ends with Eren telling Historia that she saved him, paralleling Mikasa in a big way.

Then, we go to a conversation between Zeke and Eren about the Ackerman bloodline. Zeke is clarifying to Eren that there is no ingrained behavior and that Mikasa does all these things for him because she loves him. And right after Zeke says that, there is a panel of Eren and Historia. I feel like Isayama gave us an explanation of Eren’s actions right here. A discussion about Mikasa’s affection and devotion juxtaposed with images of Eren and Historia right after we saw several panels of Eren doing exactly what Zeke described Mikasa does for Eren, in my opinion, was meant to indirectly allude to why Eren is doing this and how he feels about Historia. Isayama doesn’t want to give it away just yet, but is giving subtle breadcrumbs. Using Mikasa’s feelings to juxtapose probably threw people off too.    

It’s my opinion that Eren loves Historia. There’s other evidence that people have pointed out that I also agree with, but I won’t delve deep I’ll just mention them here:

 -Hanji noticing Eren smiling at Historia and defending her wellbeing, then asking Eren about it. Eren snaps at Hanji when she brings up Historia.

-Historia getting teary eyed when Eren defends her in the meeting. 

The only person Eren has been consistent with protecting this whole time has been Historia. His desire to protect her never wavered. He’s been talking about protecting her since the end of season 3. The only person we’ve seen Eren confide in (about his plans etc.) is Historia. She’s clearly significant to him.

What Eren Kruger Said to Grisha

Another reason I think Eren loves Historia and is romantically involved with her is because of what Eren Kruger said to Grisha. The Attack titan shifter can see future memories as well as past ones. Kruger told Grisha to “love someone in the walls, build a family. If you can’t do that, the same cycle will repeat itself. If you want to save Mikasa and Armin, carry out your mission to the end”. I think Kruger was also talking to Eren here, OR Isayama was alluding to what Eren will need to do in order to save everyone. In the anime, they added a line for Kruger, he says “someone in the future might see this [moment/memory of their conversation]”. I think it was added to establish that there may be a link between what Kruger said and what Eren is doing. Afterall, we know Eren saw this conversation. 

I think Eren did fall in love, with Historia, and is building a family (conceived a baby by chance), and something about the experience of love and impending fatherhood has played an important role in Eren carrying out this mission and ultimately saving Armin, Mikasa and Paradis, while also ending the cycle of hate.

In Ch 130, we see Eren saying that he has to do the rumbling in order for the cycle of hate to end. Similar to what Kruger said. Everything is happening exactly as Eren saw it, we saw that with that little boy Halil (or was it Ramzi?). The future memories were all correct, so if Kruger was speaking based on future memories then what he said about love, building a family, saving Armin and Mikasa, probably had truth to it.

 Eren’s Talk with Mikasa in Ch 123

A lot of people see this as an ErenxMikasa moment but since Eren and Zeke’s conversation in Ch 130, I don’t think that’s the case. In Ch 123, Eren asks Mikasa “what am I to you?”. Mikasa flusters and says “family”. I think Eren asked her this because he was suspecting that her Ackerman bloodline was influencing her decisions. This probably worried him because he didn’t want Mikasa to be a slave to her bloodline. Mikasa’s answer didn’t clarify anything for him. He was left ambivalent on the subject and that’s why he asked Zeke about the Ackerman bloodline. 

Mikasa says in Ch 123, that maybe if she gave a different answer things would have happened differently, but Zeke did give Eren a clear answer about how Mikasa felt. Eren knew how she felt and it didn’t change anything. Eren was concerned about the Ackerman bloodline influence because he wanted Mikasa to be free, not because he’s romantically interested in her.

I do realize I could be dead wrong. I know suggesting the baby wasn’t planned is a huge stretch but I just thought I’d put it out there. I just want it to be true so badly lol. Even if the baby is planned, I think there’s still some truth to some of the other things I pointed out. This was just a fun thing for me to do. I normally don’t write long theory posts, but I figured why not since it’s so close to the end and everyone is speculating. Why not join in?

I think that’s it. I hope I’m not missing anything. As for how I think the whole story will end? I think because Eren freed Ymir, titan powers might cease to exist. But I don’t know how that’ll affect the 13 year Ymir curse if that does happen. So I guess we’ll see. 

Feel free to share your thoughts. I’m not AntiMikasa or anything. Please be respectful! Thanks for reading!

[kinatalks]

Let’s talk about DiaLuci.

Look, this isn’t a judgement call. This is merely a flat out explanation and something that should be recognized. There will be a few S2-3 spoilers, but it’s mainly vague, not going into details.

Be aware: This covers sensitive topics regarding the ship, toxic behaviors, abusive relationships, and the angel event.

Firstly, if you support DiaLuci, good for you! I’m not here to shame someone for their ships. But this fandom has a habit of attacking others who aren’t so fond of this ship. Someone can like Diavolo, and not support Dialuci. You can support Lucifer, and not like Dialuci. Or hell, you could dislike either/or both characters and fucking love the ship! No matter which character or ship you like or dislike, you are completely valid.

But this is a post, about the issues with the ship that I personally see, and why it should be more outspoken.

Now lets get to the point of the subject, shall we?

I fairly like Diavolo. He’s charming, joyous, and someone who would be the star of a party. Someone cheerful and bright. However, the way that this fandom persecutes anyone who doesn’t like Diavolo or feels uncomfortable around him is not ok.

In my opinion, Diavolo has shown signs of immature and insensitive behavior. I.e. the way he treats others like toys. Yes, he cares about them, but often doesn’t consider their feelings in things he considers ‘mere pranks.’ This may be because Barbatos constantly assures him that the future will be fine, since Barbatos can manipulate and choose timelines.

He wants the best for the people around him, but doesn’t exactly take criticism or resistance to his advances kindly. “Well duh, he’s a ruler!” So? Yes, he’s a ruler, but that doesn’t mean he should be inconsiderate about others around him. The fact that he disregards others opinions unless it fits his agenda, is a sign of his childishness.

Which means, that over time, Diavolo doesn’t hold much regard to his actions, as Barbatos is always there to catch him. Now that doesn’t mean he constantly is reckless. When it comes to official Devildom matters, Diavolo is an apt ruler, who makes decisions for the Devildom’s best interests.

The problem is, no one has told Diavolo about his less than savory behavior. Because they fear him, and fear the punishments he could inflict upon them. So I can’t really say that he’s a completely bad character.

He wants Lucifer to be his equal, and acknowledge the fact that Diavolo sees him as an equal. Diavolo’s lonely, and it’s explicitly stated as so. He envies the closeness the brothers have. So, he goes about it in the only way he knows how. Which we’ll get to a bit later.

As for Lucifer, I can’t deny I’m quite fond of him. He does his best to overcome his pride for MC, and gradually (in S2-3), he becomes more open with his feelings. Yes, he’s a deeply flawed character, but he’s not a complete villain. The world simply isn’t as black and white as some would like it to be.

Yes, his relationship with some of his brothers is toxic. The way he treats Mammon at times is unacceptable, and possibly abusive in my opinion. The fact that he acts cold and distant to his brothers at times isn’t ok. But one thing I’ve seen others overlook, is that Lucifer is the Avatar of Pride. Does this excuse his actions? No. Does it explain some of his habits? Yes.

Don’t get me wrong, he still has a lot to work on. But he’s getting there, and actively trying to get better.

Now for the ship.

You do not need to like a ship, just because a character from that ship is constantly seen with the partner. Like I’ve said above, you can hate or love Diavolo or Lucifer, and dislike/like the ship.

As for the oath, I won’t delve too deep into this, as it would take essays upon essays worth of information. But we all know that, Diavolo had given Lucifer an ultimatum. Save Lilith, at the cost of Lucifer’s unquestionable loyalty.

Which as we’ve seen, Lucifer had agreed to the terms. And so, he is now Diavolo’s most trusted advisor, his right hand man.

Even though Diavolo says or implies that he sees Lucifer as an equal. He doesn’t always seem to show it. The power imbalance in between both characters is evident, throughout the plot of the story. If Lucifer denies Diavolo’s advances, Diavolo will continue. Why?

Well, you could argue that his behavior is due to him being royalty. Which is true, he’s royalty, and has never been told no. Barbatos has always been there, fixing his mess, so why would he need to worry?

Diavolo praises Lucifer, in a manner that is clearly uncomfortable to the latter. It’s evident that Lucifer despises being praised for his beauty, and just his looks. I’ve seen blogs see it as ‘just a joke’ or ‘being playful’. But time and time again, Lucifer has denied these advances, very obviously disliking the attention and focus on his looks.

But Diavolo continues, and in his defense, you could say, ‘because Lucifer doesn’t say that he’s uncomfortable!’. It’s very obvious that Lucifer isn’t an equal to Diavolo, no matter how much the latter insists he is. We’ve seen Diavolo brush off other’s discomfort at his actions, and we’ve seen him continue.

Diavolo is not evil. This is quite clear, even though he may be suspicious to some. However, his relationship tactics and methods of relationships have toxic, and quite possibly abusive effects.

For example. The angel event.

We all know, that the bangles controlled the 7 avatars, turning them all into angels. Their outfits, and minds, were taken over. The brothers, (excluding Satan.) had gone through traumatic events in these outfits, that’s for sure.

The celestial war, and losing Lilith, all were incredibly traumatizing events forever affecting their mindsets from that day forward. The bangles attempted to brain wash them, and we can see it when Satan states that he doesn’t feel like himself, that he felt calm.

But you might think, “But being calm is great! Isn’t that what he always wantd?’. Not quite.. All Satan had known before was wrath, and being calm completely took away an important part of him. Even though Satan had always resented his wrath, his sin, he had felt like a part of himself was miserable without it. He wasn’t himself, and felt as if he were being forced to be calm, something he loathes.

In all of the brothers, we can see that they are clearly distressed, and may come out of this situation traumatized. 

Lucifer is no exception. We saw how visibly upset he was, the fact that the snow-white wings on his back gave him a constant reminder of the war and Lilith, throughout the entire ordeal.

What was Diavolo doing this entire time? He was being provided entertainment, and reveled the sight before him. He enjoyed seeing the brothers in their angelic uniforms, where they had fought with tooth and nail for their sister, and who knows what else. He enjoyed the fact that the brothers were having angelic ideals forced inside their heads.

And when someone speaks up against him? He’s passive aggressive about it, until the person opposing him gives up, begs for forgiveness, or embarrasses themselves.

While criticism of any of the characters is deemed valid and peachy in this fandom. I haven’t seen any criticism of Diavolo that wasn’t met with backlash and intense hounding. Lucifer, Satan, Belphegor, have all been criticized, but has the majority really deemed those opinions as invalid? No. We can all see why those arguments are valid, and people have their own reasons.

Hell, we’ve all seen people Lucifer left and right. And you know what? They’re completely valid! Some people may have triggers/squicks in regards to his behavior, and it’s completely understandable.

But the moment someone criticized Diavolo, we see fighting and targeting. The person who speaks up gets pushed down and insulted, until they either give up, or agree. If you like Diavolo, good for you, you’re valid! If you don’t, you’re completely valid!

Now back to the ship. Apologies for getting off topic, but oftentimes, when Diavolo and Lucifer are mentioned separately, they’re roped together.

Abusive/toxic relationships aren’t always one where the abusive/toxic partner is an outright terrible person. Oftentimes, they come with charm, a dazzling smile, and friends that would fight tooth and nail for them.

Diavolo has Lucifer in an....uncomfortable position to say the least. In power dynamics, that is. Lucifer is constantly embarrassed publicly and privately by compliments, and Diavolo knows this. He’s demeaned by the oath, and as for work, Diavolo often adds to it, just for fun. I.e, leaving the Devildom to come to the human world, leaving his responsibilities behind.

“But he’s lonely!” Yes, and? He is lonely, yes, but there is a time and place for fun, and time and place for work. He is going to become a King, and if he puts all this responsibility and stress on Lucifer, it simply isn’t right.

They have their good moments, but that absolutely does not make up for the state of the relationship as a whole. Just because someone has their good moments, doesn’t mean you accept and forgive them. That’s like saying that someone who physically abuses their S/O, is a good partner because they occasionally make them dinner. It simply isn’t correct.

Majority of the time, Diavolo is fine with Lucifer being reduced to a pretty face and belittled. In public, which very clearly hurts Lucifer’s pride and reputation.

Many people can resonate with some of these behaviors, having seen them in their past.

So please. Tag your works as DiaLuci for others uncomfortable with it, stop attacking others who dislike the ship, and for fucks sake, enough with hating people who dislike a character and/or ship.

[therenlover]

Songs From Musicals Y/N Would Sing To The Evans

If fanfictions were musicals, these are the songs I could see the reader insert singing to each of the Evans. I understand that this is cringy but cringe culture is dead, pls just let me enjoy my stupid little daydreams lol. 

Warnings: Mild Language, Brief Mentions of Death (specifically su*cide and murder), Mentions of Cancer, Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics

The songs are linked at their titles!

Tate Langdon

I Dreamed A Dance from Next To Normal

Yes, I am aware that I am taking this song way out of context

No, I do not care. I’m looking at this from simply a lyrical point of view

It has all the sad ghost mommy issues vibes

Like, pre-teen me during my Aaron Tveit phase would have 100% associated this song with Tate

I’m sort of half and half on if Tate would actively try to get someone to die to be with him, which is why There’s A World isn’t included, but I can see someone head over heels in love with him considering death as an option to stay with him forever

This song just gives me the self indulgent fanfic vibes

“I'll wake alone tomorrow / The dream of our dance is through / But now until forever love / I’ll live to dance with you / I’ll dream my love / I’ll live my love / And I’ll die to dance with…”

Kit Walker

I Don’t Need A Roof from Big Fish

Kit Walker is too good for this world, just like Edward Bloom

The thought of him being traumatized and having nightmares after his time at Briarcliff? Heartbreaking. But him coming home after his cancer diagnosis? That hits even harder

That’s when I imagine this song would come into play

Sitting and watching him sleep while crying and singing this song

Because you can’t let him see that you’re terrified of losing him but you can’t pretend you’re not

Kit is one of the only Evan characters I can see having a healthy enough relationship for this song, and that hurts

“All I need is you and you forever / All I feel is true and absolute / I don’t need a legal deed to help me play my part / I don’t need a roof to hold my heart,” 

Kyle Spencer

One Boy from Bye, Bye Birdie

A classic song for a classic boy

Pre-Death Kyle gives me very much high school sweetheart vibes

Like this is the golden retriever boy who would’ve given his girlfriend the pin off his letterman jacket

The song also kind of gives me foreshadowing feelings when it says “one boy to be with forever and ever,”

Like, you loved Kyle. You made him a promise to be there forever

But will you be able to keep that promise after his Frankenstein-style resurrection? Is he really still the same person, or has he changed enough that he isn’t the same Kyle he was before?

Mostly this song is just cute tho

“One boy, one steady boy / One boy to be with forever and ever / One boy / That’s the way it should be,”

Jimmy Darling 

Somewhere That’s Green from Little Shop of Horrors

I have a whole lot of thoughts about this one!!!

Jimmy is attractive, like we can’t deny that, but he’s not really gonna be considered “marriage material” because of his job and his hands

The 50′s are ruthless like that

Imagine, though, realizing that he’s the one you want to spend the rest of your days with despite society’s ideals

Just dreaming of domestic life with Jimmy Darling, that’s the whole post

I know a reader insert would do it to escape the reality of their terrible life because I do it too and I’m a real person

Also, the specific thought of Jimmy doing his very best to be a good dad because of his experiences makes me soft

Also, you can probably think of Dandy as Orin in this scenario, because they’re both terrible assholes

“I’m his December bride / He’s father, he knows best / Our kids watch Howdy Doody / As the sun sets in the west / A picture out of Better Homes and Gardens Magazine,” 

James Patrick March

It’s A Dangerous Game and Take Me As I Am from Jekyll and Hyde

Okay, I know this is kind of cheating but this is my post, so lets pretend it’s not

Relationships with JPM are usually portrayed as extremely balanced and loving with both parters holding pretty equal standing or extremely dark and controlling with James holding full control in the relationship.

These songs fall into each dynamic respectively

It’s A Dangerous Game is that filthy, controlling roll-in-the-sheets song you just need sometimes

It’s also delving into the literal danger

Like, Mr. March is the most prolific serial killer ever. He’s a massive sadist. Being near him while also being alive is a massive risk.

But it’s a sexy risk

Take Me As I Am is the complete opposite vibe while still talking about the exact same dude. 

It’s still a duet, but this one is even, measured, romantic... and all about accepting a criminally insane fiance for all his peculiarities! Perfect!

This is the song where JPM talks about how much he loves his wife lol

Because he might be a psycho, but he absolutely respects and cherishes his wife

“No one speaks, not one word / All the words are in our eyes / Silence speaks, loud and clear / All the words we want to hear,”

“Give me your hand, give me your heart / Swear to me we’ll never part / You know who I am / This is who I am / Take me as I am,” 

Kai Anderson

As Long As He Needs Me from Oliver

I hate Kai Anderson with a burning passion

But this song belongs to anyone who he manipulates into loving and trusting him

It’s just so sad

And it really encapsulates the idea of doing anything for the person you love even if you get less than nothing in return

It’s not healthy in any sense of the word, but it fits

“He doesn’t say the things he should / He acts the way he thinks he should / But all the same, I’ll play this game / His way,” 

Peter Maximoff

You’re The One That I Want from Grease

Who could forget the classic scene in Grease when Danny and Sandy dance through that weird fun house? Definitely not me.

This is another holdover from my Aaron Tveit phase because Grease Live was a masterpiece (it was very difficult to not include more songs he performed, because Evan gives me Aaron vibes) 

I picked this song less because of the actual content, and more because of the vibe

Like, imagine Peter Maximoff learning all the choreography from the movie in his spare time

And he shows off by whipping out the whole ass dance routine with you during karaoke night at X-Mansion complete with leather pants for the both of you

Peter might even let you borrow his jacket as a prop, who knows

It’s just a fun little ditty and it makes me smile

“You better shape up, cause I need a man / And my heart is set on you / You better shape up, you better understand / To my heart, I must be true,”

BONUS CONTENT: Peter Maximoff would sing you One Knight from Wonderland 100% it is just so him please go listen to it

[miraculouscontent]

Didn’t Need Burrow (May 23rd-25th)

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Astruc admitted Sabine was based on an ex and Marinette is what he imagined their daughter to be like. He later admits Audrey was based on an ex and Chloe is what he imagined their daughter would be like. Despite moving on, he still bitter and created two teen girls as "payback" against his exes.

The whole “virtual daughter” thing still squicks me out.

Also, I don’t actually take “Didn’t Need Burrows” referring specifically to the staff/fandom since that’s outside of the show, but I also definitely think about them all the time and like sticking them in here.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Building off of the "Adrien knows about Marinette's crush on him and tells Plagg about it" Burrow, Plagg will point out to Adrien that this is a bad idea and what he is doing is wrong and that Adrien is leading Marinette on so as to stroke his own ego. He will not be listened to, and the show portray him as in the wrong, despite him being right, because anybody who stands up for Marinette's agency deserves to be shut down. In the meantime, Adrien will be allowed to continue

Bonus if Plagg will be considered “wrong” because Adrien not leading Marinette on would lead to him being sAd because Marinette isn’t fawning over him anymore (as if he doesn’t have a million fans).

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Zoe will be presented not only as "Chloe if she was good person", but also as "Marinette if she wasn't constantly making mistakes"

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Zoe will be basically  Marinette if "Marinette's Mistake of the Week" formula never existed.

Sounds about right.

Amazing what can happen when the show doesn’t have a gun to your head telling you to make mistakes in every episode.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: The show delves into a shitty harem as the writers forget that Adrien is not the main character. Who knows, maybe Zoe will join the harem.

The only reason I feel like Zoe wouldn’t be a part of Adrien’s harem is so she can ship the love square.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: There will be Animaestro-type episode where Marinette "makes alliance" with (read: is manipulated by) Chloe or Lila against Zoe. In the end she is only one punished, while her "partner in crime"  (or rather person who manipulated her) walks away completely scot-free.

To the surprise of no one. Can’t have the antagonists be punished, because that would make sense.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: (narrative-wise) Agreste's family drama and Bourgeois's sisters drama will overshadow whatever Marinette character arc will be in season 4.

I’m taking this a step further and saying that Marinette in generall will keep having her plots/”arcs” overshadowed by everyone else.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Marinette will be akumatized. She will be easily defeated due to "bond" between Chat Noir and Temporary Ladybug Zoe. This will be presented like Ladybug's constant refuse to "bond" with Chat Noir was reason why their fights with Akumatized Villains are so hard. (bonus: This episode will be followed by a group of fans that would state that Zoe should replace Marinette as Ladybug Miraculous Holder and not Chloe as Bee Miraculous Holder.)

Uggggh, I’m always waiting for the “love square magical bond” garbage.

Also, the bonus reminds me of the fact that I don’t understand people who hate on both Marinette and Luka but continue to ship the love square. Like, wouldn’t they want to ship Adrien with someone “””worthy””” of him??

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: If Marinette akumatization has Miracle Queen-type set-up, Chat Noir will quickly defeat her and whatever all other Miraculous Holders alone (or optionally supported by Temporary Ladybug Zoe). This will be presented by narrattive as proof of why Chat Noir is Brawn in Ladybug-Chat Noir duo. (Bonus: After that episode Adrien stans will make mass of "I hope this will shut up everyone who think that Chat Noir is useless/weaker than Ladybug/etc." type posts)

At this point, I’ve just grown numb to Chat suddenly being able to do things that don’t make sense for him.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Temporary Ladybug Zoe

Okay but is she keeping the black highlights or do they turn red. These are important questions.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Kagami will be changed (ret-conned) into  Adrienette (or other Love Square's part) shipper after "Lies"

Something similar is already on the card so that’s fun. :’3

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Zoe, not Marinette, will be wearing that dress from the Season 4 Concept Art.

*eye twitch*

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Rena Rogue will be appearing even when she isn't needed to defeat Akuma of the Week. This will be probably used to justify Chat Noir's increasing resent up towards Ladybug and (probably) consequent reversal of Love Square.

anything: *happens*

Chat Noir: bad Ladybug

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Ending: Marinette will willingly sacrifice herself to wake up from coma/ressurect Emilie. Both Adrien and Gabriel will be happy that Emilie is back. Adrien will have his happy relationship/ending with Zoe whom personality is (or was ret-conned into) "Marinette in anything but name". (Bonus points: if everyone behave like Marinette never existed after Emilie revival)

I’m sad.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: If Akuma of the Week isn't Reflekta/Mr Pigeon/Gigantitan/etc,.Pig Miraculous"s "Gift" power will basically fail and only make current Akumatized Villain angrier and more determined to achieve his goal, basically restarting whole fight against Akuma.

PIGELLA NO

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Lila will never react to Zoe becoming more popular than her

I imagine Zoe isn’t the same age as Chloe since they’re not twins, so Zoe at least won’t be in Bustier’s class.

Now, if they make her a Lila slave, then we’ll see.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow to know that Marinette is going to hate Zoe for being related to Chloe and this will be limited to her or she'll be the only one scolded for it (likely by Adrien), because you can't hate someone for who they're related to (which actually is a good lesson but ml will probably f it up somehow).

I feel like the writers just look at a character and go, “okay, how can we engineer them in a way for Marinette to mess up around them?

Anonymous asked:

Didn't need Burrow - Chat will find out Rena Rouge knows her identity and becomes angry bc "You and me against the world, m'lady." This will cause one episode of Adrienette becoming closer and Ladynoir drifting apart before Chat magically forgives her like it was no big deal after she makes a huge gesture to get him back.

You’d think they’d have worn out the reset button by now...

Anonymous asked:

Didn't need burrow: one of two things will happen, either Adrien will try to help Luka get back together with Marinette (basically the same plot as Mr. pigeon 72) or the relationship will not be brought up ever again and Mari and Luka don't really directly interact with each other anymore

“Bonus” if Adrien is “taught a lesson” that he shouldn’t meddle, and it’s only because he chose to meddle in Lukanette. “Double bonus” if his attempts actually get Lukanette back together but this is presented as a bad thing (for some reason)..

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Zoe will be(e)come pernament Bee Miraculous Holder.

This won’t be added because I think we already got official confirmation on this?

Oh, or do you mean “permanent” as in her keeping the miraculous eventually?

edit: yes, that’s what they meant (also, A+ pun)

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Every Miraculous Holder introduced in Season 4 will be will lose right to their Miraculous, except Zoe/Vesperia.

lol me just imagining them struggling over either making models or trying to not use those miraculouses anymore.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Luka will be forced to say Adrien and Marinette are perfect for each other in "Optigami".

Wow, show, why don’t you just prove more that you’re purposefully pointing out that you’re giving Marinette a grand total of One “Obvious” Option.

Anonymous asked:

Unsure if this one has been sent yet but | Didn't Need Burrow: Alya is going to continue Marinette to pursue Adrien even after Marinette broke down and said she doesn't have time for love right now.

We have some similar ones I think.

“Marinette’s feelings towards moving on are invalidated/ignored by one of her “friends” to push for the Love Square“

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Sandboy 2.0: Ladybug's nightmare will be about Chat Noir abandoning/hating her

I was dumb enough to raise an eyebrow at this like, “Would they really reuse akum--oh wait.”

Anonymous asked:

I'm gonna try and go for a good Didn't Need Burrow: WHen Sole Crusher gets Marinette we'll either get a lovely King Kong moment between them, or Chat Noir will come in and save her (and it'll possibly be a moment of reverse love square).

If they have Marinette doing the cliche “crushing because they got saved” I’m gonna throw hands.

Anonymous asked:

Don't need to burrow:

Marinette will never have a heart to heart with Luka revealing she's Ladybug or even explain the reason for their breakup.

Just gonna slap a big asterisk on this because it’s like:

*despite Luka being an obvious choice and they could’ve worked out the issue but the show is afraid of the side ship they’ve created working out better than the love square itself

Anonymous asked:

Don't need to Burrow: For Optigami, the episode will barely or never acknowledge Luka's and Marinette's relationship/breakup. It will be ignored and we won't have any cute Lukanette moments. As long as Adrien is in the picture, Luka will be always sidelined.

Honestly that last one is basically one of the commandments of this show.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Lila will now only appear in cameos (probably without even any voice lines).

show writers, shoving Lila under a rug: Leela Ransai?? Never heard of him.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Since Lukanette is over, Luka can be ret-conned from show. Everyone will behave like he never existed at all (and Lukanette never hapenned).

We at least know that Luka now appears in a later episode, but this could easily be worded as “Luka can be retconned away from being Marinette’s love interest and everyone will act like he and Marinette aren’t that close or never made soft eyes at each other.”

Except I wouldn’t count on Lukanette being retconned because that would stop the show from being allowed to make Marinette feel bad and guilty and possibly cause another akuma over it, plus possibly Luka “rejecting” his feelings for her and thus making her feel worse that he sees her in a lesser light.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: There will be an episode that will break "Mr Pigeon" episode record of  "Don't Need a Burrow" and close calls.

Not gonna lie, I would be legitimately impressed if that happened. I’m just wondering what predictions would be mashed together to make it as such.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow to know that Zoey (I heard somewhere that that’s how her name is going to be in America, it might be wrong), is going to get involved in the love square somehow.

Bonus:

Or she will replace Kagami’s role as Marinette’s friendly rival, and when her heart gets broken Marinette will be the one to blame, for no reason, like always. Or she will have an interest in Marinette, since it seems they are going to be close friends, only for Marinette to put her in the friend zone, and she gets akumatized. People will blame Marinette for giving false hopes to the girl, even though, she never acted different than how a friend would act.

All girls exist to comment/have an opinion on the love square, obviously, and they’re antagonists/villains if they have a negative opinion on it.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Writers will use Alya bashing concept of Alya proposing Lila as potential new Miraculous Holder. Marinette will obviously refuse, but due to fact that Lila is suddenly ret-conned into being good person this is Marinette's Mistake of the Week. She will repair it by making Lila pernament Miraulous Holder

Waiting for the one episode long Lila redemption...

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Sabrina will be redeemed. She will change from Chloe's servant... to Zoe's servant.

and it’s fine of course because Zoe and Sabrina are best friends and Sabrina is doing this all happily and willingly.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Alya will be changed into basically Marinette's Guardianship mentor

Somehow, this is one of the ones I hate the most because it seems accurate so far.

[alpacaparkaseok]

Happy Holidays - BTS Style

OT7 Imagine/Reactions

Hey guys! I thought it’d be fun to to an ot7 holiday oneshot with all the members! So the following are seven different prompts from my prompt list with the seven members! Enjoy, and happy holidays!

18. “Why are you still up?” - Jin

Christmas Day had passed and gone, you were sitting in the middle of the front room staring up at the lights on the Christmas tree. Tomorrow would mean it was time to take everything down and prepare for the new year.

“Why are you still up?”

Jin enters the room wearing his new fluffy robe you had bought him more as a joke than anything; but he insisted on wearing it all day. 

You shrug, keeping your eyes glued on the beautiful Christmas tree. “Just enjoying the last few minutes of Christmas.”

Jin comes up beside you, settling on the floor and sitting shoulder to shoulder. Grabbing a blanket from off the sofa he wraps it around the two of you, pulling you into his chest. 

“Mind if I sit with you?” Jin’s voice is soft as he studies your face, visibly relaxing when he sees that you aren’t upset. Just contemplative. 

Snuggling in closer to him, you laugh lightly. “Depends...did you bring snacks?”

Jin sighs, his hand delving into the deep pockets of his robe and pulling out a chocolate orange. “You’re lucky I love you.”

Sneaking a peck to his cheek, you giggle at how his cheeks redden in the dim light of the room. “Love you, too.”

20. “Merry Christmas, bub.” - Yoongi

It’s no secret that Min Yoongi doesn’t enjoy waking up early in the morning, and Christmas is no exception. That’s what he told you last night as you rolled out a sleeping bag in the front room, deeming it a perfect night to sleep before the Christmas tree. 

You realized fairly soon that the hardest part wasn’t convincing him to sleep out on the floor - it was getting him to wake up in the morning. 

You’d been patient, waiting until at least 7 before trying to wake him up. At first, he didn’t even budge. You poked and prodded at his puffy cheeks until he groaned, turning the other way. 

“Yoooongi,” you coo, laughing as he dives further into his sleeping bag. “Min Yoooongi!”

Yoongi groans again, kicking at his sleeping bag until he can see your smiling face. He frowns back up at you.

“Whadda you want?”

A glance at the time shows that it’s already 7:30, obviously time to get things rolling. “It’s Christmas, Yoongs! Get up, we’ve got to eat and open presents! We’re supposed to be over at Jin’s by 10-”

Yoongi wraps his arms around you, pulling you down with him until you’re squished up against his chest. “Five more minutes.”

“But-”

Tipping your chin up, Yoongi dusts a kiss over the tip of your nose. “Merry Christmas, bub.”

Rolling your eyes, you give in, already beginning to keep time in your head. “Yeah yeah. Merry Christmas.”

6. “Snuggle season is the best season.” - Hoseok

“Is there any left?”

Hoseok peeks inside the giant pot of hot chocolate. “Yeah, you want a refill?”

I nod, handing over my giant mug that he gifted me earlier in the day. Hoseok makes a show of ladling the chocolatey drink into my mug, yelping when a bit hops out and nearly lands on his new sweater. 

“It’s out to get me!” He declares, handing me the drink with a wary glance. I can’t help but laugh, shrugging as I walk away. We’ve just started “The Polar Express” as a nice way to wrap up our Christmas. 

Hoseok steps over the couch from the back, making me hiss as he plops down beside me, nearly making me spill. “Hobiii,’ I mumble, carefully setting my hot chocolate down on the side table. 

“Whoops,” he nuzzles in close to me. “Sorry.”

The movie unfolds before us as we watch on and comment on different things we enjoy about the movie. 

“See, this is why winter is the best season,” I say. “I mean, what other season is so cozy? Just sitting and watching feel-good movies, drinking hot chocolate-”

“...snuggling....” Hobi mumbles under his breath, keeping both eyes glued to the screen. 

I raise my eyebrows. “...yes. Snuggling. But you can snuggle whenever.”

Hoseok shrugs, snuggling in even closer to me. “Yeah, but this is the season of snuggles.”

Laughing, I brush his hair away from his eyes and watch as they widen as the movie. “Is that your main point for why winter in the best? How on earth would you defend that in a debate?”

Giving me a quick glance before returning his attention to the movie, I refrain from laughing as Hoseok is clearly a bit embarrassed.

“It’s easy. Snuggle season is the best season.”

Dropping my head against his shoulder, I go back to watching the movie. “Can’t argue with that.”

I can feel Hobi’s grin even though I can’t see him. “My point exactly.”

2. “Do you think anybody has ever used an ice skate as a murder weapon?” - Namjoon

Sitting amidst the piles of wrapping paper and ribbons, I look across the room to where Namjoon sits in a similar situation. 

“Merry Christmas.”

Namjoon grins, grabbing a garbage bag and starting to shove the wrapping paper inside. “Merry Christmas.”

It’s quiet today, we’ll be meeting up with everyone else later in the day. For now, I’m content to sprawl out on the sofa with my new book that Namjoon got me. It’s a riveting true story, one that deals with betrayal, plot twists, and adrenaline inducing scenes. 

Namjoon sets up camp on the opposite sofa, immediately diving into his new book as well. It’s a self-help book that he’s been going on and on about for weeks - he made it all too easy to pick out his Christmas gift. 

The low tones of Christmas music playing from our speaker are the only sounds besides the occasional rustle of a page being turned. My book takes me on a ride, and before I know it hours have passed and I’m right in the middle of the action. 

Namjoon breathes deep as though reviving from a deep sleep, looking over at me from where he lays on the couch. “We should probably get going.”

Reluctantly setting my book down, I nod. “Does this mean that I actually have to get ready?” Namjoon throws back his head and laughs, completely understanding the sentiment as he runs a hand through his unruly hair. 

“Nope. I’m not going to, at least. You look great anyways.”

A few warm layers and a cold car later, Namjoon and I sing along to a few songs on the radio as we head across town. As the songs begin to change, I fall silent. Coming to a stop at a red light, I begin to ponder my book.

My face must reflect my contemplative state perfectly, because Namjoon chuckles beside me. “What are you thinking about?”

Blinking at him, I frown. “Do you think anybody has ever used an ice skate as a murder weapon?”

Now it’s Namjoon’s turn to blink at me. The light turns green, so I continue to drive, starting to wonder if I sounded a bit strange. 

Once we’ve pulled into Jin’s driveway, I turn off the car and face Namjoon. “Why haven’t you said anything?”

Namjoon lets out a startled laugh, looking at me with bright eyes. “Sorry, I didn’t even realize that I never answered you. I was...busy.”

Furrowing my brows I hop out of the car, Namjoon linking my arm through his as we make our way up the sidewalk. 

“Busy? With what?”

Namjoon’s head is pointed down as he grins, his dimple making an appearance. “I was busy falling in love with you all over again.”

My eyes grow wide before I burst out into laughter, Namjoon following suit. “You love me because of murder?” 

Namjoon nods his head. “Definitely. What more could I want?”

Rolling my eyes, I see that everyone is already inside Jin’s apartment. “You...wow. We’re messed up.”

Namjoon winks at me. “In the best way.”

7. “Your toes are like ice blocks! Noooo stop touching me!!” - Jimin

“That. Was. Amazing.”

Jimin comes huffing and puffing inside the house, tearing off his beanie and scarf as he spots me. Taehyung and Hoseok trail in after him. 

“I assume you had fun?”

Jimin laughs, his entire face lighting up as he begins to recount everything that happened on their sledding adventure. 

“...and then Tae fell off his sled and literally rolled down the rest of the mountain! I’ve never laughed so hard in my entire life.” Indeed, he’s in the process of wiping tears from his eyes as he finishes his tale, the other two boys having disappeared into the kitchen where the promise of food proved to be too much of a temptation. 

I chuckle at the mere sight of Jimin, his cheeks still red from the cold and his eyes wide. “Sounds like a good afternoon.”

He nods, sliding onto the couch and laying down. He stretches his legs until he’s pushing against mine. I immediately hiss and retract my feet as his cold toes brush up against me. 

“Your toes are like ice blocks!” I shriek, only making Jimin tuck his toes under my legs in an effort to warm them up. “Noooo stop touching me!!” Jimin’s evil laugh rings in my ears as I glare at him, promptly standing up to go to a different couch. 

“Oh no you don’t!” Jimin shouts, launching off the couch and pulling me back down in a pile on top of him. “If you really love me, you’ll help me warm up.”

I snort. “Put some socks on! I’m not sacrificing my body heat for you!”

“Wait, so you don’t love me?” Jimin’s puppy dog eyes are hard to ignore; especially when he still has me locked in his arms. 

“Gahhh you know that’s not what I-”

“Well then say it if you-”

“C’mon Chim, just go put some socks on!”

Jimin shakes his head, chuckling. “I’m alright like this, thanks.”

Wriggling around until I finally break free of his grasp, I roll onto the floor with a triumphant shout. Jumping up and sprinting into Jimin’s room, I hurry back with a pair of thick socks, taking the opportunity to throw them at Jimin who remains on the couch. 

He shouts when the socks hit him on the side of the head. “Hey! What was that for?”

Coming up behind the couch, I begin playing with his messy hair. “That’s how I say ‘I love you’. Didn’t you like it?”

Jimin laughs as he slips his socks on. “It was perfect. But maybe we could take a less violent approach next time?”

I shrug. “Beggars can’t be choosers.” 

19. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to find fresh flowers in the middle of winter?” - Taehyung

You’ve been out searching for over two hours, so your state of mind isn’t necessarily the best when you finally roll into the apartment at nearly ten o’clock at night. 

Taehyung tends to be spontaneous - he has an affinity for sending you out on random adventures at the most inconvenient time - but tonight it was just cold enough to have you in a frustrated mood by the time you got back. 

Kicking your shoes off in the entryway, you’re just about to yell out that you’ve returned when you realize that all is not as you left it. 

The lights are darker, soft Christmas music is playing, and is that a poinsettia on the dining table?

Just as you’re standing there in wonder, Taehyung rounds the corner. He wearing a deep green sweater, just nice enough to tip you off. 

“Ah, you found some flowers!” He gushes, rushing over to you and taking the beautiful flowers that you just bought from your grasp. When he’d begged you earlier to go out and buy some fresh flowers, you certainly didn’t expect to be returning to this. 

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to find fresh flowers in the middle of winter?” You ask, still a little angry that Tae just sent you on a wild goose chase all around Seoul. Wandering into the dining room as though in a dream, the air is effectively knocked out of you when you see just what he’s prepared. 

Taehyung’s voice drifts in from the kitchen, where he’s putting the flowers in a vase. “I know, that’s why I sent you away! I knew it’d take you a while, and I had to get everything set up.”

It’s a wonder that he was able to get everything set up and ready to go in just a couple of hours. The entire dining room is decked out in candles, beautiful placements, and a few wrapped presents lying around. 

“Where’s everyone else?” You wonder aloud. After all, this is the shared apartment between all seven boys. Taehyung brushes past you, standing before the table and debating whether he should replace the poinsettia with the fresh flowers or leave it be. 

“Oh, they’re gone tonight. I convinced them to...get lost.”

You can’t help but laugh, your frustration from earlier dissolving as you watch Taehyung place the fresh flowers on a side table. 

“Ok, the food will be here any minute-”

“Tae.”

The man in question turns to face you, pure innocence spelled across his face. “Yes?”

“What’s going on?”

“Oh,” Taehyung chuckles, realizing that he’s kept you in the dark. “Right. Well, I just wanted to do something nice with you. For Christmas. Before we have to leave and I won’t get to see you.”

You heart melts at his words, and you follow him to sit down at the table. “So you did all of this?” He nods. “It’s amazing, Tae.”

“You really think so?”

You nod. “I know so. Thank you, darling.”

Taehyung nods, opening his mouth but the sound of a knock on the door cutting him off. “Oh, that must be the takeout!” Taehyung scurries off, leaving you in a fit of laughter as you realize that Taehyung, for all his fancy tendencies, is still just Tae. 

The memory of the two of you eating cheap takeout on fine china is a memory you’ll keep for a long time.

5. “Where were you?” “Building a snow fort, duh.” - Jungkook

It’s freezing. Not the freezing that people say when they want to complain about how cold it is outside. Those people are weak. Those are the people that decide that they’d better stay inside because they can’t handle the slightest bit of cold.

No, today is actually freezing. Like, you think your toes my be amputated if you stay out here for much longer. 

Huffing, you pull out your phone to see if you’ve received a text from Jungkook. You haven’t. A quick check at your conversation shows you the same thing: Jungkook telling you that he’ll be right out, and to wait for him beside the back entrance. 

Well, you’ve been waiting for several minutes now outside the back entrance of the Bighit building, and you’re pretty sure you’d rather go inside and risk exposing your entire relationship to the world rather than dying a slow, cold death out here. 

You’re in the middle of contemplating what your final words should be when you hear Jungkook’s unmistakable laugh from behind you.

“You look like you're freezing!”

Whirling around, you see the man that has put you through all of this suffering wading out of the tall snowbank, his beanie pulled down low over his ears. 

“Where were you?” You mumble as your teeth chatter. Jungkook rushes over to you, rubbing your arms in an attempt to warm you up. 

“Building a snow fort, duh.”

Oh, today might be the day you seriously consider murder. “Jeon Jungkook, I’ve been dying out here waiting for you! You couldn’t just-”

Jungkook shushes you with his woolen mitten, grinning at you like you’re confessing your love for him and not reprimanding him. 

“It’s warm inside the snow fort.”

You blink, your train of thought shifting gears. “Does your snow fort take deliveries?”

Jungkook laughs, looping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you along. “Oh, absolutely. Wanna check it out?”

Giving in, you sigh. “Yeah.”

“It’ll be fun, I promise.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“You still mad at me for making you wait?”

“...ask me again after I’ve eaten.”

Jungkook laughs, guiding you toward his snow fort and promising to call up some takeout as soon as possible.

Merry Christmas! 

masterlist

[backalley-requests]

The Proposal | Chapter Seven

The Proposal Masterlist

Summary: Proposal au, where Ivar gets swept away in a lie about a fake engagement to stay in the country and needs to convince everyone (including his family) that he’s genuinely engaged to a woman he works with

Warnings: mild swearing (I think)

Word Count: 3,022

“I was thinking,” Aslaug began. Most of the family was seated at a large table, breakfast on display and on their plates. “Me and Ragnar have talked it over, and we agree it’s in everyone’s best interest to have the wedding here,” she grinned.

The bacon in your hand never reached your open mouth as your eyebrows raised in confusion. Now? It felt entirely too soon, you looked at Ivar. He was seated next to you and appeared uneasy.

“Just think about it. Ivar, this is the first time you’ve come home in seven years. Who knows when’s the next time we’ll have an opportunity like this? And most of our family is here for your father’s birthday. He said he was more than on board with the idea.” Aslaug seemed so excited.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to have a wedding. You already knew you would, but having it so soon made the whole thing more real. It used to be an abstract concept and now was a lot more.... here. “I think we’d have to talk about it,” Ivar replied cautiously.

Up until now it was mostly just playing pretend. You knew what you signed up for but this hit different. “But maybe?” You offered to soften the blow. Your leg bounced nervously under the table, and you found that your appetite was gone.

“I’ll let you two talk it over,” Aslaug decided with a nod of her head. “But it just makes sense. And it’d be a pity if I couldn’t be there for it.”

—

“We have to do it at some point, right?” You brought up when you entered the room again. You two were doing this. A lot was on the line. “Your family would hate if they weren’t there,” you bit your lower lip.

“Did you want to do it here then?”

Doing it here would make it feel more real. “I expected to get court papers and go back to my apartment and not notice a difference.” A wedding was something much more official.

Ivar nodded his head. “I’m okay with doing it now. The work will be done for us, mor has been dying to set up a wedding for a while.”

Were you okay with it? “Sure,” you nodded your head. “Maybe it’s better to just rip the bandaid off.” You shook your hands and limbs to get the nervous feeling out of you. Your stomach was twisted in all sorts of knots. Why was it so nerve wrecking now?

“You don’t have to describe our wedding as painful,” Ivar rolled his eyes.

“I’m just nervous!” You shot back quickly. Maybe part of it was that you still had the interviewer left, you forgot about him most of the time. Or maybe it was that you weren’t sure you had done enough yet.

“It’ll be a few hours of your life and we can just go back to our respective lives. Go back to normal.”

That was it. You didn’t like the idea of that. Before you came here it was easy to get the papers and pretend it didn’t happen. “You’re right, back to normal.” He would just be your boss you were legally married to. Tentative friendship aside, you couldn’t imagine going out for coffee with him. Once you two didn’t have to pretend anymore you just… wouldn’t.

“So then let’s just say yes?”

You nodded your head. “It’ll be kinda fun to dress up,” you laughed.

—

One agreement after another, neither you were sure you were entirely comfortable with. Why didn’t you say no earlier? That it was happening too fast, or that you didn’t love lying to his family.

There wasn’t a high stakes excuse, he just seemed like he wanted it and for whatever reason you agreed. But the sooner you ran through the wedding the sooner it would be over.

“Are you alright, dear,” Aslaug asked you in town. She had taken you there along with a woman named Torvi. She was married to Ubbe, as far as you could recall.

“I’m good! Just nervous,” you replied with an awkward laugh. A woman was gathering your measurements, an act that already lent itself to making one feel self conscious. You also didn’t really know anyone you were with.

Ivar wasn’t allowed inside, maybe that was for the best. Aslaug said something about it being bad luck and you didn’t bother fighting it. “Don’t be. It gets easier with each wedding, but everyone's a little nervous,” Torvi tried to calm you down. “People won’t gossip for years about if you tripped over your dress, or if your makeup was off, or if the dress didn’t match your—“ her listing things off that you never considered only increased your fears and Aslaug noticed.

“Torvi, dear, I think you’re making things worse.”

“I’m fine,” you insisted.

“All that really matters is what Ivar thinks of you. You don’t really know anyone else there, and therefore their opinions of you don’t matter,” Aslaug countered.

Torvi nodded her head. “And if he wants to marry you then you must be special. Especially after what happened with—“ Once again, Aslaug made the girl stop talking with a quick wack to her arm. “I’m just saying he’s clearly head over heels. He won’t sweat the small details.”

“What happened with who?” Curiosity was piqued. Ivar didn’t delve into personal details. It made sense, you two were hardly friends at best, but that didn’t make you any less curious. “Sorry— he just doesn’t talk about Denmark often.”

Aslaug and Torvi looked between each other for a moment until Aslaug sighed and threw her hands in the air. “Fine. But I don’t want to be here for it. It just makes me angry.” She walked out of the room and left you standing with Torvi.

“Ivar was in one other serious relationship I can recall. Sure, I think he had some affairs with a few girls but nothing real until Freydis. Nothing after her either, until you,” Torvi nodded her head.

You were changing in between suggested dresses, attempting new styles at an incredibly slow pace. Torch helped carry the weight of some dresses and zipped up the back every time. “What happened to her then?”

“Well she was beautiful and kind. He was madly in love. I’ve never seen him so love sick.”

There was no comfort that he had looked at you like that— not that you should’ve expected that. You shook her head back to reality as fast as you could. Of course Ivar looked at someone he actually loved differently than someone who just worked for him.

“Anyways, he had a whole proposal planned out. She turned him down and didn’t give a real reason why. We didn’t find out for a while,” Torvi admitted. “I think it was because she didn’t qualify for a US visa. Ivar was willing to drop his dreams of New York for her and she didn’t seem okay with that, something about not wanting him to change his entire life for her.”

You were silent the whole time. You never saw Ivar date people. You’d have known if he had in the last three years. It made sense why any short term flings didn’t last.

Torvi laced together a dress. “I wasn’t sure he’d recover— until you. So all’s well that ends well, right?” She leaned over your shoulder and grinned at you. “I wouldn’t worry too much about her. Aslaug just resents Freydis for breaking his heart. But I haven’t even seen her around here in years. She’s hardly a boogeyman.”

Why did that bother you so much? If Ivar was secretly in love with some other woman the entire time it shouldn’t matter. She turned him down anyways. But it did bother you. Ivar didn’t mention his past and you had to wonder if Freydis was why.

“I think this dress looks lovely by the way,” Torvi complimented.

—

The day just seemed so fast. Nothing was seemingly capable of slowing down information as it was thrown at you. It didn’t seem to get any better when you finally left the store, a dress sent in for alterations, to find Ivar at the nearby cafe you left him at talking to someone you haven't seen before.

“Ivar!” You smiled. Aslaug and Torvi had shooed you away while they worked on ‘something’. You heard through their whispers it had to do with a bachelorette party. The idea wasn’t exactly fun but they were too nice to turn town, so you already knew you’d agree with whatever they had to say.

You glanced over at the woman, she was beautiful and maybe that was why you felt the strong urge to sit incredibly close to Ivar. “Y/N, this is an old friend of mine, Freydis.” That made things instantly worse. The warm smile on your face turned cold.

“Hi, I’m Y/N,” you extended your hand to shake hers. Even her hand was soft and warm. You turned your head to face Ivar, seeing an urge to do something.

What if Ivar realized he didn’t need to return to the US if Freydis was here. You could go to prison, or lose your job at best. The man needed his priorities straight. Oh— who were you kidding! Freydis hadn’t even done anything other than show up today and now.

They spoke in Danish, only occasionally letting you into the conversation. You understood fragments of it. They were talking about their time at university, growing up together, when they dated. You were ignored and isolated from their chats and it bothered you.

Maybe you wouldn’t have cared at all if Torvi didn’t ignite a fear that Ivar was still in love with her. But he was already so much more animated and kind to her than he usually was with you.

“We’re being a bit rude to your girlfriend, aren’t we?” Freydis brought it up at some point, speaking in English for your sake.

“It’s fine,” you smiled awkwardly, waving it off.

“She’s not really my girlfriend,” Ivar admitted. “It’s complicated. She’s just a good friend. She’s helping me stay in America and get my citizenship official.”

You froze, every muscle in your body tensing up at once. Freydis laughed at the absurdity of it. “Then you must be incredibly kind as you are beautiful to deal with him. Ivar certainly has a knack for the dramatics, doesn’t he,” she smiled at you.

You took a deep breath and smiled back. “He also seems to have a habit of bad judgement calls. Ivar— I don’t care if she knows but the point of a secret is not sharing it where anyone can hear. Your mom and Torvi are in the same district right now. What if they were behind us?” You snapped.

Ivar frowned his eyebrows at you, “It’s not a big deal. Freydis wouldn’t share it and they aren’t here. Do you honestly think I’d be that reckless?”

“If I can’t share it with anyone how come you get to without discussing it,” you demanded. It bothered you. A lot. “We’re supposed to be a team.”

Freydis shifted uncomfortably, “I think this is my cue to go. Obviously things are a little tense. Look, I promise you two that I won’t go around sharing this.” She stood up and collected her things.

“I think that’s a good idea. You’re fine, Freydis. My issue is with my not-boyfriend,” you admitted, anger evident in your tone.

“Good luck with the wedding,” Freydis waved before leaving. Her walk was a little faster than a normal one.

“What the hell was that,” Ivar demanded the moment Freydis was out of ear shot. He turned to face you and it was the first time he looked at you since you showed up. His eyes were intense and narrowed in anger.

Your jaw tightened, “I should be asking you the same question. Why were you even talking to her? Let alone telling her our entire plan. You realize that I go to prison if it gets out, right? You can stay here and live out your perfect fantasy but I rot in a cell!” You stood up and wanted to leave.

“I’m not going to blow anything up! Freydis won’t tell. We’ll get married as we planned, divorced in three years. No one gets hurt.”

But you already were. And you couldn’t identify why.

“Oh and who’s gonna believe that we’re a real couple getting married if they just see something like that! You ignored me the entire time just to stare at her perfectly symmetrical face!”

Ivar’s face went from anger to confusion for a moment. “No one saw it. I’m not bringing her to my home or reintroducing her. It was one interaction. What’s wrong with me wanting to see an old friend.”

“But she’s not just your friend, right,” you reminded him.

Ivar froze and hesitated to respond for a moment. “How do you know that?”

You tried to calm down but you could feel yourself spiraling. “Torvi told me about her at the dress fitting. Everything she knew.” You bit your bottom lip, Ivar remained silent. “I’m your fiancée! Okay? So just— just stop looking at her!” You didn’t understand why it bothered you so much. You hoped it was just for appearances. “I just need this to go well. We’re supposed to be working together. That wasn’t together.”

“What happened to wanting to not argue,” Ivar challenged. “And over her? I haven’t seen Freydis in a long time. It’s not like I’m proposing to her.” Tears threatened to leave your eyes and Ivar’s face fell. “Whoa— hey, Y/N. It’s okay. I didn’t do anything. I don’t love her, I was just catching up. I didn’t think it would matter so much.”

You didn’t either. “Maybe.” You didn’t really have a right to care beyond him telling Freydis who you actually were. And if you were being honest that isn’t what you really minded. “I don’t know why it does. Things are just happening fast. I keep losing control over my life right now.”

Ivar wasn’t good at trying to comfort people, he awkwardly placed a hand on your shoulder and patted it. “You should’ve said something. I would’ve tried to help.”

You laughed softly and shook your head. “Yesterday you told me that you would've helped me if I asked for it.”

Ivar rolled his eyes, “well I lied. You should be used to that by now.”

“I don’t like her,” you admitted, “she’s way too nice.” There was nothing genuine to hate her for. She didn’t step on your toes or was rude. “I can’t even imagine you dating her. She doesn’t look like she could bite back.”

Ivar found it a little amusing. “I didn’t usually bite at her to begin with. Not that you’d know. Torvi shouldn’t have said anything. It wasn’t her place— and nor was it mine to tell Freydis the truth.”

“At least you admit it.” So what gripe could you have left?

“Were you jealous,” Ivar asked suddenly.

“No!” Your face got red at the idea. “Of course not. How could I be jealous of that?” Were you jealous?

“Okay,” he nodded his head. “Then I’ll just put this out there. As friends. I’m choosing to marry you. Not her, you. If I wanted to have married Freydis I would’ve.”

For some reason the words calmed you down a bit more. “Not that you could’ve, she's way too beautiful for you.” You found yourself easily relaxing into petty insults.

“You’re just jealous she’s better looking than you.” He knew a new way to get under your skin and didn’t hesitate to take a shot at you.

Your face fell.

“Just because I made a poor choice in who I choose to marry doesn’t it isn’t true. It’s my legs that are broken, not my eyes.”

“You are so mean!” Your voice filled with a bit of dramatic hurt.

“You insulted me first. And if I’m being honest, I’ve been incredibly patient with you today. So I deserved to say it. You went off on me for no reason. If you were anyone else I would’ve said something to actually hurt you,” Ivar replied. “Like how you have no family. Or you’re only so jealous because no one’s ever truly loved you the way you believe I love her— something to that effect.”

That’s when it occurred to you that Ivar didn’t respond like he normally would. Like he used to. He tolerated your display of anger and worked with you rather than get defensive and attack in any meaningful way.

“This is the part where you apologize,” Ivar nodded to you. “Or at least thank me.”

You didn’t want to. “You’re right,” you sighed. “Thanks.”

Ivar shrugged, “you’ve tolerated me when I’ve gotten angry over nothing. I figured I’d return the favor.” He took a moment before deciding to share more. “I broke up with her, by the way. Before I left. I decided that being here and knowing her was all I knew. I haven’t loved her for a long time. I certainly wouldn’t lose my job over her.”

Your eyes locked with his. “Torvi made it sound like—“

“None of them know. That’s why you don’t rely on rumors, Y/N. You could’ve just asked.” He didn’t seem to mind it. “You went off the rails today,” Ivar sipped his coffee and he eyed you. He was calm about it too. As if he didn’t mind this simple truth.

“I’m sorry.” It all seemed really dumb right now. “You’re right. It’s just all been… a lot. Things are moving fast. I thought you were just another thing running ahead of me.”

“You’re supposed to be the one keeping me in check,” Ivar teased. “It’s strange being the sane one for once.”

You rolled your eyes, “I slipped up once. Don't expect it to happen again.”

But that didn't solve the nagging in the back of your mind. Why was that the final straw?

—

taglist** @youbloodymadgenius @heavenly1927 @momowhoo

[writers-block246]

Could you do where you’re playing Angelica in Hamilton and the whole cast knows you and Daveed are practically in love with each other so Lin conspires and sets you up on a blind date with each other pls? 🥰

Yes! I am so so sorry for the late response! We’ve all been super busy with school and college applications. Hopefully, we’ll be able to continue to post more often. I hope you like it :) Notes: italics are thoughts

“I will never be satisfied.”

Your voice trailed off as your chest heaved, trying to regain your breath. You tried to hold back a smile as you gazed across the crowd, who was in awe. Finally, your eyes swept onto the stage, where they met with chocolate brown ones. A blush threatened to overcome your face, and you had never been more thankful for the dim lighting.

Daveed.

The man had been your long-time crush ever since you had started playing Angelica in Hamilton. His sense of humor and kind heart had made you fall quickly. Plus, it helped that he wasn’t bad looking, either. Quite the opposite, in fact. Mocha skin with soft curly brown hair, and those pretty brown eyes invaded your dreams constantly. You often wondered how those strong arms would feel wrapped around your waist.

Shaking your head, you focused on the musical once more. Pushing thoughts of Daveed from your mind, you fell into step with the others.

It seemed like no time at all had passed when Act 1 came to an end. Hurrying back stage, you stumbled when your foot caught on a strewn prop. Bracing for the fall, you opened your eyes when you realized it never came. Those arms you had dreamed about constantly held you tight against Daveed. A low chuckle sounded in your ear.

“Careful there.”

You gave a nervous smile as a light rosy color filled your cheeks. “My bad. Thanks.”

Setting you back on your feet, he smiled brightly. “No problem. I’m just glad you didn’t get hurt.”

Your heart fluttered at his admission, and the blush deepened on your face.

“I appreciate that. You know how clumsy I can be sometimes,” you stated, letting out a nervous chuckle.

He gave a deep laugh, and you smiled at him.

Goodness, I just want to make him laugh all the time.

“Maybe. But it’s cute, though.”

Cute. Did he just call me cute??

Before you had a chance to delve into that, however, someone called Daveed’s name.

An apologetic smile made its way onto his face, and he squeezed your shoulder. “Sorry, I have to go get changed for Act II. I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah, of course.”

He flashed you a smile one last time before he made his way to his dressing room.

A whistle sounded behind you.

Rolling your eyes, you come face to face with Lin, who was grinning from ear to ear.

“Aww you two are so cute,” he teased.

You blushed furiously. “Shut up, Lin.”

He laughed at your embarrassed tone. “Ah, young love. I remember it quite well.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his antics. “You’re so dramatic.”

“Maybe, but it’s part of the job. Seriously, though, you should just tell him how you feel. What could go wrong?”

You scoffed. “Literally so many things. He could not feel the same way, and then our friendship could be ruined forever. Maybe the rejection will be so bad that I couldn’t even work here anymore. I-“

A soft murmur of your name stopped the words from falling from your lips.

“All of that talk and you never once considered a good outcome. You know those exist, right?”

You sighed. “Look, Lin. I really don’t have time for this right now. I have to fix my makeup.”

He nodded, though he didn’t look too pleased with your words. Turning on your heel, you walked to your dressing room, forcing yourself to not look back.

Lin just didn’t understand. Clearly, you had feelings for Daveed. And he had an inkling that those feelings were returned. Making up his mind, he headed toward Daveed’s dressing room.

Daveed heard a knock on his door, and looking up from fixing his outfit, he called for them to enter.

Lin popped his head through the door. “Hey, Diggs. What’s up?”

“Just getting ready for the next act, why? What’s happening?” Daveed said while grasping his water bottle.

Lin smiled mischievously. “Oh, nothing. Just wondering when you’re gonna admit your feelings for Y/N and get together with her.”

Water went flying as Daveed began coughing. “What? What are you talking about?”

Lin rolled his eyes. “Oh come on, Diggs. I’m not blind.”

Daveed shook his head in denial. “No, man. She doesn’t see me like that, and I’m not risking our friendship because I couldn’t keep my feelings to myself. It’ll pass with time, anyway.”

“Really? Because you’ve been mooning over her for months.”

Daveed’s head lowered. “I just can’t, Lin. I can’t risk losing her.”

Lin nodded at the change in Daveed’s tone, realizing that he probably shouldn’t push the man any further. “Okay, that’s understandable. I’ll see you on stage, man.”

Daveed nodded. “Okay. Break a leg.”

“You, too!”

The door clicked behind Lin, and Daveed forced himself to focus on getting ready for the next act.

Hurrying on your way to the stage, you caught Daveed’s eye once more. You smiled at him, and in return, he winked. A blush formed on your face.

Oooh, boy.

And with that, Act II had begun.

In a whirlwind, the show was over, and everyone was to bow. A hand grasped yours, and you looked up. Daveed squeezed your palm and chuckled low in your ear. You couldn’t help but let loose a shy giggle and squeeze back in response.

After you bowed, you and the cast made your way backstage. You headed toward your dressing room to get changed.

Lin, freshly changed and back on stage after the audience had filed out, walked up to Anthony and Jasmine.

Anthony looked up as Lin approached. “Have any luck with our resident love birds, yet?”

Lin gave a rueful smile. “No, not yet. I tried hinting at it today, but they’re not getting it.”

Jasmine sighed. “Gosh, its sad to see your friends upset when they could be so happy together.”

“Yeah, I wish we could help,” Anthony agreed.

At this, Lin cocked his head to the side. “Actually, you might be able to.”

Pulling them closer, Lin began to reveal his plan.

You were just grabbing your purse when a knock sounded at your dressing room door. “Yeah?” you called.

Jasmine entered and shut the door quietly behind her. “Hey, girl. You did great tonight!”

“Thanks! You, too!”

She smiled, but then gave a slight wince. “Look, I’m going to get straight to the point here. I know about your feelings for Daveed.”

You sighed. “That obvious, huh?”

“Well....” she chuckled. “Pretty much the whole cast, minus him, knows.”

Wincing, you replied: “That’s super embarrassing.”

Jasmine rushed to correct you. “No it’s not! You can’t help your feelings. I’m not going to try to convince you to tell him, because I know you won’t. But, you know, the best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else.” She sent you a suggestive look.

“Ugh, I don’t know, Jas. That’s not really my style.”

“Look, I know a guy, and he’s just your type. And, plus, it’s only one date. If it doesn’t work out, no harm no foul. But if it does....”

“Do you mean, like ... a blind date?”

“Yes! It’s more fun that way,” she giggled.

You weighed your options. On one hand, you weren’t sure you were ready to get back into the dating pool, especially after being so hung up on Daveed for so long. On the other, however, you figured it was probably time to get over him, as nothing was going to come of it. And, hell, now was as good as time as any.

Giving a long sigh, you agreed: “Fine. One date.”

Jasmine smiled and pulled you in for a hug. “Yes! I promise you won’t regret it! I’ll text you the details!”

You couldn’t help but laugh at her excitement. “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay! Have a great night!”

“You too, Jas.”

The door clicked shut behind her, and you realized what you had just agreed to.

Ugh, let’s hope I didn’t get myself into too much trouble.

Daveed was just about to leave when he heard Anthony calling his name. Stopping, he waited for the other man to catch up with him.

“Yo, man. It was a great show tonight, huh?”

“Definitely. You killed it out there.”

“Thanks, you too! Though, I did want to talk to you about something else.”

Daveed’s eyebrows furrowed. “Okay. What’s up?”

Anthony grasped his shoulder. “Look, I know how you feel about Y/N. And I want to help.”

Daveed grimaced. “Man, you too? I guess I’m not really subtle then, huh?”

Anthony chuckled. “Not really, no.”

Sighing, Daveed said: “I already told Lin, I can’t tell Y/N how I feel. It’s too risky, especially with us working together. And I really want her to be apart of my life.”

Anthony squeezed his shoulder. “Well, I’m not here to tell you to admit your feelings to Y/N. I do think, though, that if you’re not going to, you should, at least, try to move on.”

“I don’t know....”

“Look, just give it a shot. I know someone, and I think you’ll like her. One date, that’s all. If it doesn’t work out, no big deal.”

Daveed thought it over. He really didn’t want to move on from you, because he knew he still held deep feelings for you. However, he didn’t plan on confessing anytime soon, so maybe one date wouldn’t hurt.

“Okay.”

Anthony smiled. “Hell yeah! I’ll let her know, and send you the details.”

“Sounds good. Thanks, man.”

“Of course! See you tomorrow!”

Daveed returned the sentiment, and began his trek home.

Ugh, what did I just agree to?

The day of the date came fast, and you found yourself clambering around your room searching for something to wear. Finally, you chose your favorite outfit, one you knew you would be confident and comfortable in. Fixing your makeup, you headed out the door.

You arrived at the restaurant, and once you entered, your scanned the room for your date. Checking your phone, you reviewed the message Jasmine sent you with the details for the date.

According to Jas, he should be sitting in the back booth in a black dress shirt and jeans.

You sighed, steeling yourself for the night ahead, and walked toward the back of the restaurant.

...only to be met with Daveed?

Daveed who happened to be in the back booth with a black dress shirt and jeans on.

No way.

Almost as if he sense your presence, he looked up from his phone screen. Confusion clouded his features.

“Y/N?”

“Hey, Daveed.”

“What are you doing here?”

A blush overtook your features. “I’m on a blind date, actually.”

His brows furrowed. “Really? Me, too.....oh.”

You chuckled nervously. “Yeah. I think we’ve been set up.”

He smiled. “Appears so. Could be worse, though.”

Giggling, you teased: “Oh, and how do you figure?”

“Well, I could have worse company,” he smirked.

Blushing again, you agreed.

“Why don’t you take a seat? I mean, you’re already here.”

You nodded. “I guess you’re right.”

“Aren’t I always?”

A chuckle flew past your lips without you even realizing. You didn’t know why you were so nervous initially. This was just Daveed, you’re close friend and confidant. It was so easy to just fall into place with him.

Dinner flew by as the two of you made small talk. You began to realize you had endless things in common, even outside of your job.

Halfway through the meal, you felt a soft touch on your hand, and you saw that he had placed his larger one overtop yours. His thumb traced soothing circles into the top of your hand, and you felt yourself relax even more.

His hands are so soft and strong, but also so gentle.

Not wanting the night to end, you ordered dessert, which you both fed to one another. A drop of ice cream rested on your lips, and Daveed reached over to wipe it off. A careful hand grasped your face while another dabbed at the liquid, and a giggle escaped you. They seemed to be in abundance tonight. Truly, you hadn’t had this much fun in ages.

“As much as I can’t stand Lin’s meddling, I have to say it worked in my favor tonight,” Daveed said, pretty brown eyes crinkling at the corners.

“Yeah? I think so, too,” you shyly responded.

You were awarded with a bright grin.

And it was true. You were infinitely glad that Daveed was your date tonight, and not some random guy. This was so much better.

Sadly, dinner finally came to an end, but Daveed insisted on walking you home to ensure your safety. You felt a broad, warm hand settle on your lower back as you exited the restaurant. You couldn’t help but lean into his touch.

The walk back to your home was filled with comfortable silence, as you reflected on the night’s events.

I can’t believe how well it went. Maybe there could be more to this?

With the way Daveed pulled you closer into his side, you didn’t think that was too outrageous of a belief.

You just couldn’t stop smiling. And neither, it seemed, could he.

Arriving at your doorstep, his hand fell from your back. You couldn’t help but feel disappointed at it’s loss.

Daveed gave you a shy grin. “I had a lot of fun tonight.”

“I did, too. I’m really glad you were my blind date,” you giggled.

“Yeah?” he questioned as he stepped closer to you.

You raised your head to meet his gaze, eyes falling to his lips. “Yeah.”

A gentle hand found its way to the side of your face, and his thumb ran across your cheek.

He looked for an affirmation in your eyes, and when he found one, his soft, plush lips landed on yours.

He kissed you tenderly, cradling your face between his hands. You rose onto the tips of your feet, desperately trying to get closer to him. Your fingers tangled themselves into his hair. His hands ran down your arms and came to rest upon your waist, pulling you closer. You couldn’t help but moan into his mouth. In response, he grinned against your lips.

After what seemed like hours, you pulled back. “I feel like this is a good time to mention that I’m in love with you.”

He laughed breathlessly. “Oh good, because I’m in love with you, too.”

You needed to remember to send Lin and the rest of the cast a fruit basket.

-Admin Cheyenne :)

[lovelyirony]

Title: I wish i could forget you

Tony Stark was not supposed to be in the car when Howard and Maria Stark attended a Christmas holiday party for another company. In fact, Hydra had wanted him to stay home. 

Unfortunately, Tony had ticked off Howard a bit too much, and so here he was in a tuxedo that was a bit too big, uncomfortably shiny shoes, and a temper that was close to blowing. 

Thank god they were almost home. 

When a car crashes, one almost can’t believe it. Tony can see the outside blurring, and he can hear glass crunching, and he hears things that he really doesn’t want to hear. He is fairly sure that Maria screamed. 

A metal arm. 

Huh. 

Well, not the most typical. He also doesn’t think that the man knows he’s here. 

Howard and Maria Stark are killed. Tony feels like shit because he couldn’t do anything. His forehead is bleeding and he didn’t want to move out of fear for himself, which seems selfish, but also maybe a survival instinct? 

God, his bow-tie is still constricting air flow. 

Once the man turns, Tony realizes that he wasn’t the target. They probably had no idea he was in the car, whoever “they” were. 

He gets out of the car. The car door creaks, and the man whips around. 

His eyes widen. 

“You--what?” 

The voice is surprisingly American. 

Surprisingly? He’s not sure why it’s surprising, it’s not like an American can’t kill just look at history, but still, Kind of surprising. 

"What, wasn’t supposed to be here?” Tony rasps out. He realizes now that he’s basically sent himself a death sentence as the man surges forward. 

“What are you doing here?” 

His eyes are piercing. Also very, very familiar with some photographs that Peggy has on her mantle and her desk. 

James “Bucky” Barnes. Son of a bitch. 

“What are you doing alive?” Tony asks. “I thought you were lost in a ravine in Europe somewhere.” 

“What--huh?” 

“Ravine. In Europe. You know who you are, right? Is this some kind of sick...what did they do to you?” 

“I do not know what you are talking about.” 

His eyes get cold again. 

“Who are you?” 

“I am the Asset.” 

It is now that Tony realizes that every single shitty sci-fi book is probably right, and his disdain of “wacky science” and “magic” have all been for nothing, because here is Bucky Barnes, who apparently has no idea who he is. 

Then Tony gets knocked on his ass. His body slams against the icy road, and Barnes is rushing towards a motorcycle. 

And he’s alone. He can’t breathe, all the wind knocked out of his chest. He thinks he broke a couple of ribs. 

- 

No one believes him. At all. SHIELD brushes it aside. 

“There’s no way Barnes could be alive. You were probably just seeing things,” they tell him. “Would you like us to find you a therapist?” 

“No,” Tony says, and they ask why. He laughs, sipping on his water. “SHIELD has so much loyalty to itself, I’m afraid I’d be compromised.” 

“Therapists aren’t supposed to divulge any information,” Nick Fury adds carefully. “And we’re a secret-keeping bunch. Nothing goes out that comes in.” 

“Unless, of course, it’s necessary,” Tony drawls, staring at Fury. God, the leather outfit...that’s weird. “Then I’m out in the open, Nicky. And what fun is that unless I get to show off an outfit in full-coverage?” 

“...I’ll have an agent escort you home. We’ll have guards overnight.” 

“Don’t bother.” 

“And why is that? Think you can handle it by yourself?” 

“Fury, my family has made a career out of thinking a lot of things. You’re not being as detrimental as you think.” 

He finger-waves, grinning and winking at agents on the way out. 

- 

Now comes paranoia. This is welcome, actually, because it’s allowing him to work up new security measures and hack into various security cameras around the world to see if he can find Barnes. 

It’s like he’s a ghost. And fuck, maybe Fury was right. Tony doesn’t like that, but that may be it. 

Merry fucking Christmas. 

- 

Years go by, and Tony keeps a tiny ear to any news about mysterious deaths that can’t be explained. A man that glows in lamp-light, has no identity. He’s not sure if it could be Barnes. God knows he’s no longer seventeen, and Barnes--it if it was Barnes--would be way older. He should’ve been an old man in 1991, but he wasn’t. 

It kind of reminds him of the conspiracy theory that Walt Disney was kept cryogenically frozen, which is just ridiculous, because as far as he’s concerned, you’d need a bit more to you than just regular skin and bones. 

And this is where it hits him. 

Barnes was experimented on when he was captured by Hydra. Peggy told him that Rogers told her that he was repeating his dog tag number over and over, as if someone was trying to take him over. 

Yeah, you’d need a bit more. 

Like a fucking super soldier serum. 

- 

This then delves into Tony realizing that if Barnes is flash-frozen, then...well, could Rogers have survived? He always thought his dad was crazy, but a broken clock is right twice a week or however the hell that saying goes. He never used it, he wasn’t a broken clock. 

(He was broken, but he’s not going to compare himself to a clock. Perhaps  Model-T.) 

- 

They find Rogers. Tony realizes Howard did his math completely wrong for years, and probably never let anyone look at it because he was a World Super Genius. And a Colossal Dick. 

Steve Rogers is one tough cookie to crack. Tony chips off some of the ice and puts it in a glass of scotch. 

“Do you really think that’s the most appropriate thing to do?” Phil Coulson asks. 

He’s shocked, but mainly because Tony has seen his Cap collection, and that man has so many limited edition cards and lunchboxes that it’s a bit crazy. But at least he knows how to decorate with it and not have it look like an absolute nutjob swept into his house and did it all in red-white-and-blue. 

“Phil, my darling, when have I ever done anything the appropriate way?” Tony asks. He stares at the face that’s emerging out of the ice. “Besides, what else are you going to do with this ice, hm? Besides melt it all off?” 

Steve is a miracle. Every scientist on earth wants to poke and prod at him. 

Tony breaks him out of SHIELD in a week, because he swears to shit if one more scientist asks to take blood samples “to see how going under Arctic temperatures affects the bloodstream” (and also take DNA for cloning) he’s going to lose it. 

Fury yells at him for two hours. 

Steve flips Fury off from the couch, where he’s been channel-surfing for the better part of three hours. 

“You’ve already corrupted him,” Fury scowls. “Rogers, we need to talk--” 

“He’s retired,” Tony says. 

(Steve is not, technically. Hasn’t said anything. But Tony is putting him on mandatory retirement for at least a year.) 

“What’s...what the ever-loving fuck is that?” Steve asks. 

An infomercial. For an automated chair. Mostly used for old people. 

Tony grins. 

“You wanna see how fast I can launch you out of one?” 

“I’m going to say yes. Professionally.” 

Ten miles an hour, and Steve goes flying across the room into a pile of pillows. 

It’s not the end-all solution. God knows Steve calls him “Howard” and asks where a lot of nasty food is, and sometimes can’t tell the difference between what his brain is seeing and what is actually there. 

But Tony gets him help. And Steve goes to art school. 

It’s all very funny, actually. Steve rants about “modern art” and how “if he could kill any concept it would be abstract expressionism, what the fuck.” 

Tony buys and then donates a Rothko in his honor. 

Steve fumes, but finds it hilarious. 

Then, there’s the attack on New York. 

Norse god of mischief decides to end New York, blah blah blah. 

Captain America reappears, everyone loses their shit, and Tony almost dies. 

Then he gets four other roomies besides Steve, and he has to make a chore chart. Ugh. 

- 

Barnes reappears in France. Tony gets a fairly good image, and Natasha stills. 

“You know about Winter Soldier?” 

“Barnes? Yeah.” 

“You know who he is?” 

“James Barnes. At least, I think. He tried to kill me, wasn’t very successful at it.” 

Steve overhears. 

This leads to a chain of events that ends in Steve not coming to family dinner because he’d rather sit in his room and listen to Green Day or Glenn Miller or whatever the hell gets him even more upset. 

“Listen, Steve, I’m sorry. But up until this picture? I was only about sixty percent sure I wasn’t full of beans.” 

“Why is that the phrase you use?” 

“What, full of beans? Bruce says I have to work on my cursing. Apparently, children are impressionable. Who knew?” 

It’s not a total success. Steve still doesn’t like that Tony didn’t outright tell him, but Tony isn’t going to tell Steve that he has the mental stability of a single cashew. 

So begins the hunt for Barnes. Which actually isn’t too bad. 

He’s in DC. Not for any political clean-up, unfortunately. He’s trying to kill Fury. Tony doesn’t know why, at least until he looks up Pierce, who’s technically, mostly retired from SHIELD. 

And yet still uses most resources that technically? He needs more than one authorization from multiple people. 

God, people are getting bad at covering their tracks. Used to be harder to catch and see if someone was doing dirty deals. 

(Okay, not like he can talk because Obie was...well, no use in discussing that now. He needs to focus.) 

Nat and Steve are bad at lying. This kind of surprises him, because Steve is usually a successful liar. He’s convinced Clint that it’s not him who keeps eating his peanut-butter-fudge ice cream, but Thor. 

And Natasha used to be Natalie Rushman. Then again, Tony was poisoned during that one, so that might just be on him. 

-

Helicarriers go in the water. 

Tony’s working on making sure most of the information doesn’t reach the general public, although he can’t stop it all. 

Barnes falls off the face of the earth, and Steve wants to go on another treasure hunt. 

“Let him come to us, or figure himself out.” 

“This isn’t a college kid going backpacking in Europe for a year,” Nat snaps. “He’s...you know who he is, who he was, and what he can do.” 

“Counterpoint: we don’t know if he secretly really wanted to see traditional decoration of Ukrainian Easter eggs,” Tony says. “God knows that I want to learn more about that.” 

“Is everything a joke to you?” 

"Only on federally mandated holidays,” Tony says with a shrug. “But let him be. Steve, it’s one thing that he didn’t kill you. It’s another thing that he hauled you up from the Potomac. I’m not sure I would’ve done that because who goes up alone to a helicarrier?” 

“Historically nobody,” Natasha says. “Most people don’t have any helicarriers.” 

“God, this situation sucks,” Tony says. “What if. We potentially. Ignore all of it and have spinach and artichoke dip? Hm?” 

“With toasted bread?” 

“I’m not an animal, Steve.” 

“Your penchant for four a.m. coffee while you don’t realize you’re singing songs from the seventies says otherwise,” he responds. 

“Well well well, if it isn’t the punishment of you getting the aux taken away for a week,” Tony taunts. 

“Oh, come on!” Steve whines. 

“Nope, just you having to listen to more of Bruce’s questionable tastes.” 

“Fuck.” 

- 

Barnes comes stateside. The only reason Tony knows this is because Jarvis says that he may have spotted Barnes, but he’s not sure. 

“J, you’re the most advanced system in the world, not to mention my son, and you like to hack into the Pentagon for funsies.” 

“All of that could not have prepared me for this.” 

Barnes is wearing a neon green tank top that is advertising Coco Beach in Florida. 

“Can I laugh? Or is that sad?” 

“Multitask, Sir.” 

“Oh, true.” 

- 

Barnes is not in New York. Tony has to near-about put an electric fence around the whole state so that Steve doesn’t go on a road trip. 

Hell, Tony doesn’t even trust him to go to coffee alone, but that’s a bit much. 

“We have to wait,” Tony says. 

Sam Wilson is a godsend. Also the funniest man Tony knows. 

He is also emotionally healthy and very perceptive, so he has been noticing that Tony is nervous. 

Because how do you face the man who killed your parents? Technically? 

“Are you talking to your therapist?” Sam asks. “Just thinking you should.” 

“Sam, we’re working on my issues from 2007. Believe it or not, it will be taking a full year.” 

“I don’t like that I can never tell if you’re serious.” 

“I know you remember the tabloids from 2007, I wrote a mesh vest. Clearly, I need so much help.” 

Sam snorts. 

“Maybe. Hey, I’ll catch you later. Clint and I are gonna go try and find some questionable shirts to crop.” 

“Did his little protege convince you? Bishop, right?” 

“Kate, yeah. She’s convinced our public image will go viral or something. Good luck with helping Steve and Nat with your super-soldier hunt.” 

“Thanks. Let me know if you find a shirt with my face on it. I want it.” 

Sam snorts. 

“Will do.” 

- 

Bucky Barnes comes to New York in early May. The springtime is slowly but surely fading off, sun approaching more and more. Tony is enjoying coffee on a veranda, and then suddenly his waiter is nowhere to be found and he’s not entirely sure if his visitor takes credit or debit. 

“Can I help you?” 

“Maybe. Depends on if you’re gonna kill me or not.” 

“I think Steve would be a bit broken up about it.” 

“Do you care what he thinks?” 

“On this situation? Yes. When it comes to culinary choices? No.” 

There’s a ghost of a smile on his face. Tony’s trying extremely hard not to remember shattered glass and a motorcycle on ice. 

“Can we, uh, table this conversation? For later. Espresso and all that, plus the added bonus of our shared history, so...” 

“Shared history?” 

“You don’t remember?” Tony asks. Bucky shakes his head. “Ah. Then this is truly a comedy of errors. Maybe. Um. Listen, I, uh...I gotta go. You need to talk to Nat or Steve or hell, maybe even Thor. Is Thor a good option?” 

“I’m sorry, what?” 

“Barnes, I can’t exactly face you right now.” 

And then he jumps off a balcony. 

A fucking balcony. 

Jesus H. Christ, his therapist is gonna be so excited for their next session. 

The suit wraps itself around him, and he can finally breathe, and he’s thinking about calling Pepper and see if she would like to schedule him a vacation for maybe anywhere but New York and Iowa. 

“Why not Iowa?” Pepper asks. “They have good antique stores. I’ve gotten quite a few good finds for clothes.” 

“I can do shopping retail literally anywhere else, absolutely not.” 

“Spoilsport. Steve know you’re leaving?” 

“I didn’t even really tell Steve what happened with my parents.” 

“Oh, your therapist called. She sounded concerned, but also intrigued.” 

“It’s because Sally almost became an employee of NASA and still has a soft spot for aerodynamics.” 

“What exactly did you do when faced with Barnes?” 

“Check the front tabloid page tomorrow, just tell everyone I’m out of town.” 

“Got it. And Tony?” 

Her voice is soft. 

“Yes, dear?” 

He can feel her rolling her eyes. Affectionately, of course, but rolling all the same. 

“Be safe, and come back. You know Rhodey and I miss you.” 

“I miss you too.” 

- 

A week is spent in Malibu. He really is thinking about selling this place. But for now, it suffices. 

Steve texts him. 

bucky’s back. holy shit 

be back in a week. radio silence. 

got it. no more messages from me. thor tells me to tell you that he broke the sink 

:(((( 

And that’s it. He’s sitting in the house for a week, has already called Sally once and explained how his suit works, and then listened to her talk about how “his reliance on the suit to help him escape unfavorable situations is not exactly the healthiest but also none of my clients have had to face someone who is of weird standing.” 

It’s no secret that Tony doesn’t like Howard Stark. Who would’ve liked that sorry excuse for a father, a man who was so cold-hearted the Arctic looked like a tropical paradise? 

Maria was...Maria was different. 

She wasn’t a good mother. No, she was never a good mother. But she tried, and she didn’t deserve her fate. 

And then there was the question of Bucky Barnes. Who wasn’t Bucky when he was there, but still so damn recognizable. 

It’s kind of like when there’s a movie about a famous person, and another person plays them. Like Tom Hanks, essentially. Bucky played whoever the fuck they get Tom Hanks to play and it’s similar: you see the resemblance, but it’s not it. 

So yeah. 

There’s also the little tidbit that things get complicated when you involve personal feelings and rationality, and really? Tony misses New York. A lot. And he’s not going to let someone else overtake his life just because he’s uncomfortable. 

So he flies back to New York. 

- 

He’s in a bad way, Barnes is. 

“He remembered you,” Steve says. “What he did.” 

“Ah, there’s that.” 

“He doesn’t have to be here,” Natasha says. “I have a couple of SHIELD safe houses to choose from.” 

“None would be adequate to house something like me,” comes the response. 

Barnes looks remarkably shitty, as if he hasn’t slept in eighty years. And maybe he hasn’t. 

“Jail would be more fitting.” 

Tony rolls his eyes. 

“You are literally the most dramatic person ever, and Bruce threatened to take over the government because Thor ate the last croissant. Put those on the grocery list, Steve

“We’re not gonna throw you in jail,” he continues on. “Not because you happened to be used as a goddamned Swiss army knife. I have issues, sure, but I’m not going to be going all Hannibal Lecter or whatever.” 

“Who the hell is that?” 

“Cannibal. I realized that that’s a terrible comparison, please forgive me.” 

“Why a cannibal?” 

“Couldn’t think of anything else but Anthony Hopkins, the actor. My mistake. Point is, we’re gonna have to go through some channels, and I’m introducing you to BARF, as well as a new person who’s gonna rock your world.” 

“I’m pretty much well-acquainted with vomit.” 

“No, not that,” Tony says. “Although we can cover that through my 2005 edition of partying if we really wanna dig up some old magazine interviews. No, I’m introducing you to something that’s going to change your life.” 

-

After that, Tony doesn’t have much to do with Bucky’s life. 

He serves as a permanent guilt trip, nothing says “well, shit” much like being a permanent guilt trip. 

Sally tells him that they should talk it out. Do all that “and how do you feel?” questioning that makes his skin crawl and his eyes ascend to the ceiling. 

I mean yeah, they share a living space. Tony has seen Bucky laugh and smile with Sam, talk with Bruce about a really interesting article about regeneration of plant cells or whatever, and Bucky enjoys videochatting with Wakandan royalty. 

(It also helps that Shuri is blunt as ever, but so blisteringly smart. He’s reading her paper on regeneration of nanotechnology, and it just...it’s the Pieta of research, that paper.) 

But he never speaks to Bucky. Well, he does. But it’s more along the lines of “hey Barnes” and “how are you?” which aren’t exactly the Most Thought Provoking Statements Ever Made. 

Summer comes swiftly, and about near with a vengeance. Tony’s dealing with a heat wave and trying to figure out if going outside is even worth it, and then he and Bucky are alone in the kitchen. 

Tony was debating getting a couple of popsicles from the freezer. Bucky is considering sabotaging Clint’s smoothie that was supposed to be special for tonight, but that he���ll most likely forget. 

“Hey,” Bucky says. “Um, can we talk?” 

Shit. 

He’s been avoiding this, officially, for a month. Potentially more if you’re going to count a few choice events that have been brought up by his psyche. 

“Sure thing, buttercup. What are we talking about. Economy, world crises, the great debate on financial advice?” 

“Isn’t the third thing just the economy?” 

“We can break it down over coffee.” 

“Mm, maybe another time. No, I’m talking about us. About how I--I kind of ruined your life.” 

Tony blinks. 

“You didn’t ruin my life. If my life was ruined you’d be hit with so many lawsuits that I could make the rest of your life look like the third circle of Hell, or wherever it is that people go nowadays in Dante’s eyes. No, you didn’t ruin my life.” 

“I still killed your parents.” 

“If you hadn’t, someone else would’ve. Believe me, there were about fifteen others in line. Sometimes, myself included.” 

“You can’t not take me seriously,” Bucky stresses. “I still did a terrible thing. I just want to make sure you know that you’re being too kind.” 

“I most certainly am not,” Tony says. “Being too kind would have me feeding you grapes.” 

Bucky’s face blanks. 

“Don’t. I...I don’t wanna take advantage of your hospitality. I don’t want to remind you of what happened.” 

“You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t wanted,” Tony says. “Believe me. And if you want to leave, you’re free to leave. I don’t want to make you feel like you need to stay here.” 

“I...I want to make it up to you.” 

“Then use BARF and review it,” Tony says. “I’m serious. I need user feedback, and you’re the best candidate for it. Also, please try to convince Steve to wear neon yellow. I just want to see if he’ll do it.” 

- 

Steve wears neon yellow. Tony laughs so hard he cries. 

Bucky smiles. 

It’s a nice smile, really. It’s wide and happy and wow. That’s all worth it. 

And then BARF. Bucky just gives user feedback, nothing else. Tony doesn’t want to know anything else, but they start talking more. 

Tony finds out that Bucky’s been doing crosswords to catch up on current events, and he’s bought taped recordings of World Series games. 

He loves antique stores. He visits them and brings home little trinkets that he remembers in his own house, or what he remembered. He watched old commercials from the fifties and sixties, laughed as he remembered the Sears catalogs that would come in the mail. 

“Me an’ my sisters would beg my mom for new clothes from the catalog, and she never would. Always sewed our pants and skirts so damn well, I probably could’ve used them for the next ten years.”  

Tony laughs. 

“Well, I can’t promise I can sew. But I could give you some armor that could last you twenty years, if you want. Steve told me you’re thinking about doing some distance missions.” 

“Just observation, no armor required.” 

“Sometimes it’s the simple missions that get the worst hits,” Tony says. “Believe me, I know how it goes. So, do you want some armor?” 

Bucky smiles. 

“Sure.” 

“I’ll need feedback.” 

“I’ll give it all I’ve got.” 

- 

Bucky is a goddamned dream to design for. He knows exactly what he needs, what areas are most likely to be pierced, and also has a flair for the dramatic: he requests an Iron Man helmet be embroidered on the back. 

“You’re really just trying to be sweet on me, aren’t you?” Tony teases. 

“My master plan to gain your fortune,” Bucky teases right back. “I’ll waste it all on champagne pools and the worst-looking but most expensive shoes I can find.” 

Tony laughs. 

“Sugar, that’d be incredible if you could spend all of my money on that. I’d commend you.” 

Bucky smiles, and it shouldn’t be as nice of a smile as it is, but here Tony is with his opinions and his concerning thought that maybe he wants to see more of Bucky. 

- 

In the morning, there begins a routine. Tony is always up at eight o’clock. It’s a rare lull in Avenger-morning-routines: Nat, Steve, and Bruce are all done, and Thor and Clint won’t be in until ten o’clock at the earliest. 

(What can he say? Thor’s a god and Clint...well. He needs a lot of beauty sleep.) 

Tony makes coffee, and Bucky makes them both breakfast. Says that officially, it’s to test and make sure that his prosthetic is still performing under optimal conditions. 

(They both know that’s not it.) 

Tony always says he pours too much water, makes enough for two cups. 

- 

Steve calls them out on it. 

“You two are being weird,” he says. “And not like Thor and Bruce trying to reenact that one show about ghosts and unsolved things.” 

“That’s their form of courtship, don’t be fucking rude,” Clint remarks. Natasha snorts. 

“What, us being weird?” Tony asks, pouring a bit more coffee into Bucky’s mug. He always uses too much creamer and then won’t finish his coffee unless there’s more. “Why do you say that?” 

“It’s because you both do couple shit,” Bruce says, breezing into the kitchen. “Also, Steve, lovely to see that you have volunteered to be the next guest on Avengers: Unsolved. We’re planning on using you as a guilt-trip in order to access files about aliens.” 

“Truth will be found!” Thor adds. “But also, yes. Bucky, I thought you were taking him on a date to the art museum on Saturday.” 

Bucky turns red. So does Tony. It really is quite inconvenient. 

“I mean, we could go on a date there,” Tony says. “If you’re okay with that.” 

“You’re doing this in public?” Natasha asks, eyebrows raised. “Hm. Would not have called that.” 

“You owe me fifteen dollars,” Bucky says. “Not you Tony, quit looking at me like that. Yes, it will be a date on Saturday, I’ll wear a nice shirt. Nat said that I couldn’t do anything that surprised her.” 

“Technically, Tony surprised me.” 

“I thought dates were mutual events, hm? Fifteen dollars. I’ll use it to buy the best bouquet in New York.” 

“The best bouquet costs over a thousand dollars,” Thor answers. 

“Not questioning how you know that, but I’m scared of you,” Bucky says. “Then I will get the best fifteen-dollar-bouquet in New York.” 

Tony snorts, smiling. 

“I guess I’ll spray a bit of my perfume on my pillow then, soldier.” 

“I’ll pick you up at noon sharp,” Bucky says, grinning. He finishes his coffee. “We’ll make fun of Steve’s art exhibit together.” 

[p1harmonyofficial]

[📰] P1Harmony May Be New to K-Pop, But They're Beauty Experts

By Devon Abelman

"Pots-and-pans music" is what Keeho, the leader of P1Harmony, lovingly calls the K-pop group's songs. They're loud, explosive, and essentially caffeine mainlined through your eardrums — all in the best way possible, of course.

"Because our music is so strong, we try to portray that in our hair and makeup as well," Keeho continues. "For me, my hair is all slicked back for our new song, 'Scared,' and our makeup is a lot darker than [for our debut single,] 'Siren.'"

In fact, Jongseob, P1Harmony's youngest member, adds their strikingly different hair colors, like Theo's whimsical light pink, Intak's sleek jet black, and Keeho's enigmatic navy blue, balance each other out and express the range of emotions portrayed in their lyrics and melodies.

But this is just a basic overview of P1Harmony and the intense aesthetic they've been building for the past six months since debuting in October 2020. In advance of the release of their new EP, Disharmony: Break Out, today, April 20, I sat down with the rookie K-pop group via Zoom to get a deeper look at each member, their individual relationships to beauty, and how they are choosing to present themselves now that they are on the world's stage.

Keeho

When I ask Keeho which P1Harmony song fits his personality best, he replies, "You can't really fit me in a box like that. There are various characters I can be." The 19-year-old from Canada even wears many hats throughout our interview. Not only is Keeho the group's official leader, but he's also their unofficial translator, color commentator, and storyteller — he truly has an aside or anecdote to share about everything.

The first tale Keeho tells dates back to second grade, when he begged his mom to let him get blonde streaks in his hair. "I was that kid in class," he remarks.

Then, Keeho delves into how his family introduced him to the wonders of beauty growing up. His mom, in particular, made him "do a five-, six-step skin-care routine," he recalls. Every morning before school, he'd splash his face with warm water ("must be warm water, so you open up the pores") and wash up with cleansing foam. Then, he'd rinse it off with cold water ("so you close them").  Although this isn't scientifically true, I'm glad this worked for him.

When layering on his serums and creams, "the first one you need to do is the most liquidy one and the last one you need to do is the one that is not liquidy at all," Keeho recalls his mom instructing him — a fact I confirm for him. Also, she'd tell him to never rub his skin-care products on, only pat.  

Last but not least, Keeho would (and still does) reach for sunscreen — "always sunscreen," he emphasizes. "My mom said, 'If you don't put it on, you're going to age like a raisin.'"

Keeho's older sister, on the other hand, brought him into the world of makeup by employing him as her guinea pig for testing out new looks. "I would let my sister put makeup on me all the time," Keeho says, mentioning Halloween as a common occasion for her artistry. They even playfully filmed YouTube beauty tutorials and challenges together.

One aspect of beauty Keeho has yet to try is a manicure, but he's ready to dive into that realm. "I think it would be fun," he says. A$AP Rocky's eye nail art that he showed off front row at Prada back in October 2019 is Keeho's major inspiration.

Intak

Another unofficial title Keeho has taken on within P1Harmony is hairstylist. Intak, the group's 17-year-old charismatic rapper and star dancer, credits him for his hair-care routine. "I learned how to use hair serum to volumize my hair when I go out," Intak says. Keeho goes on to explain that they both have incredibly dry hair, so he recommended his favorite moisturizing products to Intak and told him to rake them through his hair while it's still wet and only slightly towel-dried. Intak was so pleased with the result that he went out and bought the same products that day.

Although he has kept his hair black throughout his career so far, Intak is quick to share he's very experimental with beauty. For performances in the past, he's adorned his eyes with bloody scratch-like liner and ultra-sooty smoky eyes. Plus, you're about to see some cheek art on him and dramatically flushed cheeks.

Unlike Keeho, Intak didn't get into skin care until after debuting. "I've started visiting the dermatologist frequently," he says. "They gave me a set [of products] that includes [everything I need]." His favorite is a mask infused with avocado and peppermint, like the Tonymoly I'm Real Avocado Mask Sheet or Skinfood's Pear Mint Food Mask, which quenches his dehydrated skin.

Jiung

Spoken like a true Libra, Jiung is the first to mention he enjoys expressing himself through beauty and fashion. "[They are] really important things," the 19-year-old explains in English. "I always try to learn how to express myself that way. So the more I know, the more I can do."

However, when I ask Jiung what kinds of looks he feels the most confident in, he laughs before taking time to think about it. (In the meantime, Keeho shares he knows what he, personally, is least confident in: T-shirts, due to his long arms.) "This is hard," Jiung groans. I must say his short honey-blonde hair — a look he's always been curious about trying — is definitely bringing out a particularly magnetic side of him, as seen in the P-side track video for "If You Call Me."

When he was younger, Jiung dabbled in all different kinds of haircuts, colors, and perms, he lists off. The latter of which he looks forward to trying out again now as a K-pop star.

When the members were just trainees, Keeho helps Jiung recount a time when he wanted to fill in his eyebrows. "He did not how to do it at all," Keeho says. "He got a Sharpie and started coloring in his eyebrows. It was devastating, to say the least, for the people who had to see it."

"It was art," Jiung interjects. Now, he proudly declares he has a proper brow powder.

Theo

Theo, P1Harmony's straightforward vocalist, is admittedly a sneakerhead. He strictly wears Jordans, according to Keeho's translation. Air Jordan 1s are Theo's favorite style, but he can't pick a color that he's the biggest fan of. He can tell you what he feels least confident in, though: shorts and short-sleeved shirts. So if you barely see Theo in summery clothes, now you know why. (However, he doesn't offer up an exact explanation.)

Since elementary school, the now-19-year-old has permed and colored his hair every shade of ROYGBIV, including red, gray, and even blue for one summer break — all thanks to his mom, who is a hairstylist. This is a revelation even many of the other members weren't privy to, much to the chagrin of Keeho. "It's annoying me right now because his hair is healthy," he remarks. "My hair looks like a broom."

Knowing his hair is healthy comes as a shock to me, though, as Theo has gone from white-blonde to rosy-pink over the past six months. (Let's be real, that's a transformation few people's hair can handle.) He's also been able to grow out hair; it falls past his eyebrows and is starting to graze his shoulders in the back.

Honestly, Theo is ready for it to be short again, he shares. "I like my long hair, but I don't like it being in my face," he asserts. "I can't really maintain it. I bleached it so much that it flips in all different directions."

Soul

Before our interview officially started, the members and I exchanged weird facts about ourselves to get to know each other better beyond our beauty routines. Keeho revealed his left eyebrow has been twitching lately, and he needs to cuddle a body pillow to fall asleep. Intak has a freckle on his finger that his grandma often mistakes for dirt and tries to wipe off. Jiung had pet geckos, scorpions, and tarantulas growing up. Jongseob loves mint chocolate. Theo can't burp, and Soul enjoys petting insects.

But that's not the weirdest thing about him or any of the members. The strangest thing about the boys is that "Soul doesn't do anything at all [for his skin-care routine], and his skin is actually pretty good," Keeho says. (You can scroll through Soul's selfies on P1Harmony's Twitter to confirm this, but spoiler: His complexion is immaculate.)

Soul, 16, goes on to explain that his skin is incredibly dry and sensitive, so much so that even cleansing makes his face turn red and any bit of friction causes bumps to form. Needless to say, he's scared to put anything on his face. "I just do cleansing foam and leave it at that," Soul admits. Makeup isn't off the table, though. Soul is no stranger to subtle washes of pink shadow on his lids and fake eyebrow piercings made out of silver studs.

Although Soul is seemingly one of the shyest members and keeps to himself for most of the interview, he's an intense rockstar at heart. He favors P1Harmony's more aggressive, hard-hitting songs, like their new title song, "Scared."

Raise your hand if you'd like to see Soul with thick, black kohl or graphic blue liner and long, raven hair, perhaps paired with a studded leather jacket over a ripped-up T-shirt. OK, great; I'm not the only one. For now, we'll have to appreciate his bob-length ashy-blonde hair.

Jongseob

Other than his nuggets of knowledge about the way P1Harmony reflects their music in their hair and makeup, Jongseob mostly listens throughout the interview. Luckily, the 15-year-old rapper/songwriter did pipe up to share his skin-care routine.

First, Jongseob double-cleanses to remove his makeup, starting with cleansing oil and following up with a foam cleanser. Serum is slathered on next, then moisturizer. When his skin is feeling especially dry, Jongseob layers a gel cream on top as a sleeping mask — a tactic I'd never considered before. Typically, I reach for them in reverse order.

Jongseob's hair has also been through the wringer since P1Harmony's debut. Last October, he colored his hair lilac and gradually went darker shades of purple until it was an electric violet hue. Most recently, though, his dye job has been a fiery orange. Next, Jongseob says he wants to try gray with an ash tone.

And this is just the beginning of P1Harmony's journey through the mystical world of K-pop beauty. This time next year, they're sure to have experimented with even bolder, brighter, and more eccentric looks. For now, you can check out a teaser for their brand-new music video for "Scared" of their latest EP, Disharmony: Break Out, below.