#we split the fries cause my burger was huge

[le-temps-voulant]

First Shake Shack 10.9.2019

[aching-tummies]

if i was your partner... I'd take you on a date to the county fair. I know you have a sweet tooth, and I promise to buy you whatever you want. When we get there, we haven't had dinner yet so we get a big meal of hamburgers and hot dogs, and some fried dough and cotton candy for you. I tell you I want to take a lap around the fair to see what rides there are, and get you as many treats as you want. Ice cream, churros, sodas and milkshakes all end up in your belly... 1/?

I’ve never been to a fair/amusement park or anything so when my beloved suggests we go I’m excited. Since I was a child, I’ve always wanted to go to these things because friends that have gone always have such cool stories about the rides or cute ones about laughing and having fun with their dates. Also…the occasional fair food item sounds delicious.

At the same time, I’m wary of the food because I’ve eaten stuff like ice cream, churros, milkshakes, and hot dogs before. Not at a fair setting and definitely not all in the same day. Past experience tells me that these are the kinds of foods that give me a queasy tummy ache individually. The idea of eating them all in the same day has me apprehensive. Absentmindedly, I press my hands to my tummy as though guarding it from the thought of such a nasty ache.

The day of the fair arrives and excitement has given way to nerves and those nerves have gone straight to my stomach. As we get out of the car and approach the fair grounds my stomach clenches and does flips. An empty growl splits the air but peters off into an inaudible, nauseous burble. I haven’t eaten much since you told me about our visit to the fair. The thought of fair-food filled me with dread since I knew we were coming and I guess I subconsciously lost my appetite in preparation…to try to give the fair-food a blank slate as though in hopes it’ll hurt less if it’s just the fair-food bouncing around in my gut. I rub my tummy with both hands, squeezing my eyes shut against the sensations rolling within it. I want to bolt. I want to go home. It’s like my tummy knows exactly where we are going and knows it’s in for something nasty.

I toy with the idea of asking that we just go on rides. I try to formulate the words, to make up a reason why I won’t be eating anything at the fair. Variations of “my tummy’s upset” or “I ate earlier and I’m full” come to mind. The latter wouldn’t be something I could fool you with. We’ve been together the whole day and you know naught but water has passed my lips all day. If my stomach weren’t sickeningly empty, I would definitely have thrown up by now. The anxiety of the impending situation twists in my gut, and I feel like a solid mass is forming inside my hollow gut…an imagined mass that sends urgent “puke” signals to my brain. I feel my stomach muscles convulse and I squeeze my eyes shut as it snarls again.

Your hand comes to my stomach and jolts me out of my thoughts.

“Aww…hungry?” You say as you pat my stomach through my clothes. You heard the hunger part of the growl and you took my hands on my tummy as a sign of a hunger pang. Or so I think.

“Uhm…n-not exac—"

“They sell food in there. Let’s grab some hotdogs before we check out the rides.” You pat your own stomach, triggering a growl that has no hint of nausea in it. “I’m hungry too.”

My stomach burbles as you all but push me forward, walking us to the entrance of the grounds. Each step brings the thought, “dead man (stomach) walking”. I had opted to eat less/not at all in preparation for this day because I didn’t want to come to the grounds with an upset tummy. My own stupid anxiety over what this kind of food does to me foiled that plan. If I had known my stomach would be upset entering the grounds regardless of whether or not I had eaten anything I would have just eaten something rather than endure hunger for so long.

“Uhm…d-darling? Hotdogs…uhm…y-you know what hot dogs do to my stom—”

“Ooh! Chilli-dogs! Yeah, those beat hot-dogs any day. We’re getting some!” It’s like you didn’t hear me. Tears prickle my lashes as I realize you’ve cut off all my attempts at telling you something is wrong. I open my mouth again but the glint in your eye shuts me up.

You know. The way your hand is snaked around my waist and how your palm is pressed up against my tummy is a new clue. The gentle, subtle rubs you’re giving me, that I haven’t noticed until now—you’ve done similar motions before. When I lost a dear family member you made those same motions on the back of my neck and on my shoulder when you put your arm around me. It’s your go to ‘comforting’ move. You know what’s on my mind. You know how upset my tummy is. You know I’m anxious about the impending stomach ache. And I know about your fascination with my stomach; we aren’t just here for the fair.

“Let’s walk and eat. Fair grounds are huge and I don’t know exactly what rides they have this year. Let’s do a lap, or two, and fill our tummies with all the different food as we narrow down which ones we want to go on.”

You’re still rubbing lazy circles on my tummy. Your voice and the gentle rubs slowly bring me out of my own head and the tight vice-like coil of anxiety in my gut unclenches just a little. The anxiety lessens just enough for a hungry growl to squeeze out. You know exactly what rides are offered. You studied the pamphlet thoroughly and I know for a fact you have a ranking order of your favorite rides. You love the fair and are a seasoned fair-goer. The walk is for my benefit. Suggesting two laps and suggesting that we slowly fill our bellies is entirely for the sake of my tummy. Starting at the fair with an already upset tummy wasn’t in the plan. You don’t just want to deal with an anxious tummy or a sickly one…the food and the fair-experience are part of your script for tonight. I take a deep breath and try to calm my nerves. If I let myself throw up it’s all over—that’ll be the end of the night. I don’t want to rob you of your opportunity to enjoy the fair. It only happens once a year. I don’t want to imagine having to deal with an entire year of an anxiety-induced stomach ache—knowing that you’ll try again next year.

“O-Okay…uhm…c-could we just split the food? I-I just want a bite or two of everything.” I pat my tummy. “You know my capacity is garbage.” You grin.

“Sure! One large chili-dog it is. Wanna choose what flavor milkshake we get? Oh, and the churros at one particular truck are to die for—you gotta try ‘em!”

And…we’re off. Your hand slides away from my waist and takes my hand instead as you pull me into the fair. I slide a reassuring hand on my tummy, hidden behind my messenger-bag. I rub my tummy gently, trying to quell the upset.

2/? ... and by the time we're ready to ride a ride, I can hear your tummy grumbling noisily. I ask if you're okay, and you insist, though you look a bit nauseous. We end up on the Tilt-A-Whirl, and afterwards, your stomach is louder than ever. I ask if you're hungry, if maybe that'll help your loud, bloated aching belly, and you say yes. More treats end up in your tummy, until its aching so bad you can barely stand...

A large chili-dog, a sub-par burger, and a churro have disappeared between both our guts and I’m currently polishing off the large choco-banana milkshake we ordered. Sure, you had most of the chili-dog and the burger was because you were still hungry—I’ve let you have the lion’s share of the solid foods. I meant to let you have most of the milkshake too, but you’ve been sneakily finding ways to have it end up in my hands and to my lips.

My stomach is comfortable right now. There’s a barely-there queasiness in it but it’s slight enough to be ignored. It’s quite noisy though, churning away as it tries to break down what’s gone into it. You’ve been rubbing my tummy as we’ve been walking for the last ten minutes or so and I’m sure your rubs are the only reason my stomach is comfortable right now. Without the rubs, a normal fast-food combo has been enough to give me a twisting ache in my gut, enough to get me to cry and dash off to a bathroom to be rid of the mess.

“Oh, hey! Let’s go on that!” You gesture to the roller-coaster we’ve arrived at. I’ve never been on one. “Oh…damn…no drinks allowed on it.”

I raise my eyebrow quizzically as I rattle the empty milkshake cup. You offer a sheepish smile and hold up a full cup of cola you’ve been clutching in your other hand. “Came with the burger. Could’ja help? My tummy’s gettin’ kinda full.” You place a hand on your slightly rounded tummy.

Sure, it’s only cola…but neither of us is in the habit of wasting food. Steeling my nerves, I grab the cola and begin to suck at the straw, taking it down in gulps and thanking the heavens that it’s small as far as beverage containers go.

You pat my grumbling tummy as I finish the cola, forcing a sharp belch to pass my lips. “You didn’t have to chug it, we could have come back.” You coo as you continue to pat and rub my tummy. I groan, realizing my stupidity. My stomach sloshes sickeningly and rumbles violently at the sudden addition.

“Nah. We’ve already done two laps around the grounds. If we’re going to ride anything now’s the time.” A part of me just wants this night to be over. That cola pushed the discomfort meter in my gut higher. There’s a tight pressure inside of me right now and I want to believe it’s just the carbonation from the cola.

We share a car in the roller coaster. I grip the bar. Do not throw up. Do not throw up. Do not throw up. Repeats like a mantra in my head. Just as the coaster starts rolling, you release the bar and put both hands on my gut. You knead into my tummy, forcing burps out as I grip the rail tightly for the both of us. We have seatbelts and all that…the bar is just there for an extra level of safety. You’re experienced, you know we won’t fall even if we aren’t white-knuckling it so you put your hands to a different use. Each loop and sharp turn of the coaster causes your grip on my tummy to tighten. A particularly sharp turn sends your entire form slamming against me and your elbow meets my stomach and has me feeling something wet surge up my esophagus but I fight it down. You’ve managed to get most of the gas out of my tummy before the big loop of the coaster, at which point you offer one last pat to my tummy and turn to face forward properly. My stomach churns as we slow and watch the looming loop seeming to creep up on us. As we crawl up the loop my own hands clutch my tummy and I begin to squeeze, short and small burps burble out of me. You raise an eyebrow but are more fixated on the coaster. I want the gas out. I don’t want the inversion to cause a burp to bring up something else when we’re completely upside-down.

As we climb out of the coaster all that is left in my gut is a dense mass of thick sludge swirling around in a lake of cola. Some of the milk from the shake most definitely curdled in the acid bath of the cola. I let out a few moans as I walk and my hands have not left my tummy since we got off. I cradle my churning gut as I make my way to a miraculously empty bench.

“Babe, you okay?” Concern colors your voice as you skip after me. I need a few minutes for my stomach to re-orient itself. I can feel the thick sludge swimming in my gut and it is not a pleasant feeling. The squeals and whines from my gut betray that it doesn’t like the sensations either.

You’ve disappeared and I’m too absorbed in the activity in my tummy to care. Bathroom break, maybe. I press into my tummy cautiously, wincing at the churning grumble that is pushed forth from it. I can’t help but groan under my breath. My stomach really sick. I feel like it’s a sack of vomit churning violently rather than a stomach at this point.

I hear the crinkle of paper and I open my eyes. Something crisp and golden is shoved into my face as though you are presenting me with a bouquet of flowers.

“Is that?” My eyes widen.

“Yup! A Bloomin’ Onion! I saw a stall selling ‘em while we were on the coaster.” You announce proudly as you plop yourself down next to me.

Eagerly, I reach to tear off a piece of the treat, my nauseous tummy forgotten.

“I thought you’d need something to settle your stomach and maybe absorb some of the mess in there.” You pat my noisily churning tummy. “A-also…you’ve always wanted to try this thing, right? ‘cuz you love onion rings.”

“Mmph.” I give you an affirmative grunt as my mouth is full of the treat. You giggle and tear off some for yourself.

Once the onion has disappeared between the two of us my stomach is feeling moderately better. I’ve eaten most of it. I’ll definitely come to regret putting something so oily down the hatch, but I take your hand and suggest more rides before it has time to bloom into a full-blown sickly ache. I’m resigned to it now. We’ve got precious few minutes before my stomach begins to literally belly-ache about what’s gone into it.

We arrive at your favorite, the Tilt-a-Whirl. Nothing will stop me from letting you enjoy this ride tonight. I hope my stomach gets the memo. As I hear the screams from the ride, I notice someone off to the side of it, hurling into a convenient trash bin. I grimace, willing that not to be me.

“Babe, you sure you’re up for this?” You’re worried. I take your hand as we get in the (thankfully) short line.

“Yeah. You love this ride. It’s fine.” My tummy grumbles deeply, sounding like a dying lawn mower or something.

You slide your hands around my waist, rubbing and patting at the upset vat that is my stomach. Your hands are magic. By the time we’re at the front of the line my stomach is still churning, and aching, but not as violently as it was before. There’s a very present ache in my guts but it’s just under the threshold between a full-blown stomach ache and something that could just be classified as discomfort.

The seatbelt is tight against my tummy and I have doubts, almost caving and telling the staff I’ve changed my mind and to let me off before the ride has even begun. As the cup spins the centrifugal force causes the belt to cut into my stomach jostling it every which way. I grow steadily more and more nauseous as the ride goes on. I don’t have your miracle hands on my tummy and that thought is enough to make me want to cry. Seeking some escapism, I let my mind wander as I try to focus on anything but the violent churning in my tummy. This ride has accomplished in thirty seconds what it took your hands thirty minutes to fix.

I imagine how this ride looks from above. It must look pretty cool—my thoughts are interrupted by a new one: how this ride looks from above is how my stomach feels right now. Uneven, unpredictable churning with little bits seeming to churn within the mess. Yeah, the inventor of this thing must have seen some cruel irony in fabricating a ride that was an external representation of what it was causing internally.

When the ride ends I practically stumble into you. You laugh, dizzy yourself, and we move together. I’m leaning on you, whimpering and clutching at my distressed tummy. I can feel it. I want to throw up. The vomit signals are very strong but it feels like one of the chunks of curdled whatever has blocked the path to my esophagus. My stomach convulses and I whine as it grumbles angrily.

Your hand comes to my tummy. “Aww…baby…you hungry? The most of a solid thing you’ve eaten today has been that onion. Maybe something more solid in your tummy will calm it down?”

I can no longer tell if you’re sticking to your kink-script or if you genuinely believe my sickly tummy is in need of some proper sustenance. My stomach feels too awful to care so I let you lead me by the hand wherever it is you want us to go.

I don’t protest when something is shoved into my hands. You tell me to eat and I mechanically bring it to my mouth and take bites. I don’t even know what it is you’re making me eat, but many different treats disappear into my tummy. I think there was a burrito of some sort at one point. At least two different churros have made an appearance too. A slice of pizza, dripping with grease, is definitely one of the items if the layer of grease floating in my gut is any indication.

“Ergh…ugh…” I curl, bringing my knees up and sandwiching my arms over my belly. You led me to a sort of hidden bench. We’re kind of behind one of the tents for some carnival game and there’s tree-coverage around us. You wanted some privacy while you fed me and I’m grateful for it because I’m certain my stomach is about to spill out of my mouth and I do not want an audience. Upset doesn’t even begin to cover how bad it feels. I feel like I’ve swallowed lava and the molten mass is burning away my digestive organs. The lingering ‘discomfort’ of an ache threatening to bloom finally explodes and I curl up tightly, the added pressure not doing any favors for my poor, achy tummy. “Ugh…urp…n-no more…please? Ugh…babe…it hurts. My tummy hurts so, so much…” My stomach protests just vocally as I do.

I end up flopping over onto my side on the bench, knees still curled up to press my arms into my sickly belly. You guide me to make sure my head is on your lap. You try to get me to uncurl, to grant you access to my tummy, but my limbs refuse to budge so you settle on rubbing my side and back.

“Aww…baby…maybe a walk would settle your tummy?” Your voice is sickly sweet and I groan as it goes straight to my stomach, feeling like I just guzzled another cola.

“Umph…nuh-uh—nope. Not gunna.” I curl up, my tears soaking into the fabric on your lap as I whimper a little. I try to bring up a burp, desperately trying to relieve some of the pressure in my gut. Nothing comes up. I know there’s some in there—there has to be—but each time I clench my abdomen it feels like there’s something sickly blocking the path of the gas. If I were to really push it I could maybe clear the blockage…but I’d almost definitely end up vomiting all over your lap.

“Babe…how about that walk?” You suggest again and this time I glare at you from your lap. I glare at you and uncurl just a little. You can see the pain lancing through my eyes for a split second. I watch as your gaze travels to my gut and then I jab at it with a hand. I bite back the groan of pain so that you can hear the resulting rumble. The turbulent sounds from the jab continue for a few moments even as I curl up again.

“A walk? You kiddin’ me? My tummy hurts, babe. Hurt doesn’t even begin to cover it. I can’t even stand up straight ‘cuz my tummy is imploding; and you want me to walk?!”

I’m being curt with you. I know I am and I regret it even as the words spill from my mouth. It’s the stomach ache. I haven’t had such a nasty one in a very long time.

3/3 I feel terribly you're not feeling so well, and offer to help you to the car. You lean on me heavily, and I rub your aching belly as we make our way back to the car. I have to help you in, and the seatbelt barely fits over your round tummy. I rub it as we drive home, and carry you into our house where I'll nurse your tummy back to health... or maybe give you more snacks ;)

“Oh, baby…I’m sorry.” You’re genuinely sorry and that makes me feel even worse about snapping at you. I pull a hand out from its position on my tummy, reaching over to brush against your face, to apologize in some way.

A sharp cramp shoots through my unhappy tummy and I let out an exclamation of pain. It felt like I got punched, from the inside. I whimper and close my eyes, breaths labored as I clutch at my tummy again. My stomach convulses violently and you can tell that I’m trying very hard both to vomit and to keep it in me. The struggle exhausts me and it breaks your heart to see it go down.

The fit dies down after a while and I eventually lie still on your lap. My stomach continues to churn within me and you can hear the sickly burbling. You’ve taken to carding a hand through my hair and using your other hand to rub at whatever you can reach—arm, side, back. The shooting cramps die down somewhat and I manage to uncurl. I find your hand and guide it to my stomach and you rub it gently. I’m still biting back grunts with each breath but you can tell that your massage is slowly doing something for my sickly tummy.

“Do you think you can get to the car? I think we’re done here.”

I whimper, shaking my head and guiding your hand back to my tummy. “Not yet. Ugh…please?” I look at you, silently begging for more rubs. “If I get up now I’m gonna hurl.” You continue rubbing my tummy and we continue in our positions for a while.

My stomach is fairly distended. I usually don’t eat much in a single day and you managed to cram a whole lot of stuff I usually wouldn’t touch into me today. Sugar, fried foods, salt, milkshakes. This is stuff I only allow myself to indulge in a couple of times a year…and only one at a time, usually. Like…before meeting you I was the type to see a can of cola as a treat. That was my dessert quota for the day or week. After we got together the occasional scoop of ice-cream became another dessert option—but always only one scoop. This is our first time at the fair as a couple and you really let me have it. You gave me the ‘full’ experience in more ways than one and my tummy is suffering for it.

“Urp…ugh…nachos? When did I eat nachos?” You laugh at my observation, a sign that I’m doing a bit better.

“I think it was between the second burrito and the banana split.” You inform me as I sit up.

“Second? Banana…split?” I’m surprised. I know I was out of it when you were feeding me, too caught up in the agony swirling in my tummy, but I didn’t think I was that out of it. “Wait…when was the pizza?” You laugh at my dumbfounded expression.

“I only gave you a few bites of the banana split ‘cuz I wanted it…and ‘cuz it looked like you were going to be sick at that point. You ate a whole slice of that pizza before the ice-cream.” My stomach burbles as it’s reminded and I put a hand on it.

“I don’t think that qualified as pizza. It feels like it was grease with a side of dough and cheese.” I groan, patting my tummy gently and rubbing up and down slightly. I still feel sick but the crippling ache has subsided…for now.

I take your hand and get up off the bench. You’re up immediately and drag one of my arms over to rest around your shoulders. We stumble our way toward the exit with your hands resting on my waist. My other hand on my belly is more to support the extra weight while yours provide some much-needed rubs. It’s a team effort to get to the car in my state.

You help me into the passenger seat as I moan. The cramps are building in intensity. You fasten my seatbelt and I almost push you off when you put too much pressure leaning over me to get the thing buckled. Now that I am sitting up my belly is really prominently distended. As you back up I immediately recline the seat, giving my belly some much needed room.

“Do not throw up in the car.” You admonish.

“Urgh…urp…ulp…ugh…no promises.” I whimper. You close the door and the impact jostles my belly. I clutch at it with a groan, swallowing back something thick and wet.

It’s a long drive back home. I’m reclined as far as the seat will go. You have one hand on the wheel and the other rubbing absentmindedly over the crest of my tummy when it’s not needed to steer or shift gears or whatever.

A part of you feels horrible for what we have done tonight. While both of us are into tummies, this is the first time we’ve ever done something like this. We’ve done some minor stuffings before. We’ve done other things in the realm of tummy kink before. This is a first where you stuffed me with foods that would normally cause me great distress all on their own and you decided to cram them all into me in the span of six hours.

I’m lost to the pain as we pull up to our place. I’m in the same incoherent state I was in when you fed me all those things I didn’t register. Gently, you unbuckle the seatbelt, guiding it home so that it doesn’t have a chance to upset my belly further. I groan and nearly lose my gorge as you slide your arms under my back and my knees and lift me out of the car with a massive heave.

The vertigo goes right to my tummy and I’m a groaning mess as you whisper reassurances at me. We’re almost home. Don’t throw up on you. Etc.

You set me on the couch. The bedroom is too far a walk and you don’t want to risk dropping me. The extra weight of all that indigestion is more than you anticipated.

I can’t move. My tummy is pinning me down and the threat of vomiting is extreme. I feel like a thermometer or something with the sludge going up and down my esophagus.

You set a bin within reach of me before disappearing to the kitchen. I whimper, wishing I could call out. I need your hands on my belly. I feel so sick.

I hear clattering in the kitchen. The tell-tale signs of something being microwaved. I hope it’s a heat pack or something even if the added pressure of it is sure to make me vomit. You return with a plate of pizza bites and my stomach pulls a move where it feels like it’s trying to drop out of me and run. I can’t move. I’m too full, too sick, and in too much pain. I only hope you have a night of rubs planned and that you’ve got a hair-tie somewhere ‘cuz there is no way this night ends without me throwing up.

[stepfbdbamby]

1. So now to the diet on of the most important things.

Why? Cause a slender figure helps you a lot to look more like a girl.

 Healthy Eating/Diet To become the perfect sissy bimbo the figure is an essential part of your existence. You can train all you want, but training will only form your body a good figure is 80% based on your eating habits. Here I will give you easy simple tips. What are the important things that I am looking for in this to make it work? It must be flexible and easy, so it can work for everyone and is easy adaptable.

1. Don't eat between meals. (Exception you are going to train - we will handle this topic later in this blog). - There are arguments that you should smaller meals more frequently during the day This is often said by people that do regular training. My counter argument is that you should see training as a different thing. For training you don't "eat" but you look that you have enough energy and the right stuff for training and recovery. So you don't really "eat" between meals, but more you look for the right state of nutrients and energy for the training and then recovery phase. 

- why I am against eating between meals beside for training reasons. a) Intermittent fasting has proven to be beneficial. ! I don't suggest you do it, but it shows that there are benefits to have time between meals! b) It helps you to learn about your hunger and appetite. Often when we eat between meals we have forgotten how it is to really be hungry. Which is understandable in a time where we just have to walk to the fridge to get food. c) It gives you clear guidelines. You have 3 meals beside meals for training and that's it. d) your body can relax. If your body is constantly in the process of eating it is stressful. TIP- Have cucumbers around to eat when you have the feeling you need to eat something now.- Have them already prepared!!! Cause if you get stressed or craving and they are not already there you won't clean a cucumber then. It is better to throw away one or two (If you don't want to waste food - believe me if you are a stress eater you are much worse for nature than when you throw away 1-2 cucumbers per week but then become a normal eater).

2. Healthy meals A great suggestion is to split your plate into three separate parts. (PICTURE 2) This helps you in a few ways - You eat lots of vegetables and fiber, - you have a simple way to check if you have good nutritions

- you don't have so much doing a calorie count cause the plate regulates it for you automatically.

What you still have to look out for?

a) potatoes, green peas, corn, and squash. Kidney beans, pinto beans, lima beans, black-eyed peas, and lentils are not vegtables but should be seen as healthy starches. b) be carfull with sauces, fats (butter etc.) they are delicious but often huge calories. c) the plate should be normal stacked. Don't cheat yourself by only taking one plate and stack it up to the brim with food.

Know how much calories you need per day & how much additional you need when training. You shouldn't count calories but you should have more or less overview how much food you need per day approximately.

& Plan your shopping and cooking ahead and don't let yourself drive too much by your own appetite.

- You can still adapt your meals if you really crave for something, then change your meal to it as long you have a healthy version

& replace rice, pasta, potatoes, bread with healthy alternatives but still eat them from time to time cause to reduce cravings. 

3. Accept your cravings even the bad ones, but also understand what the body tries to tell you.

Here I gave an example: I had once a college that always craved chocolate cake - he eats it often as lunch. I told him that the craving is only the animalistic part of him that craves for engery sugars and fats. He should try a good alternative. Some meat that has a bit more fat in its well seasoned - not salt, but more herbs and spices, fruits and good carbs and as dessert a little bit of dark chocolate. It solved his cravings.

So always think if I could eat chocolate all day, then your body wants to tell something but because chocolate can't be the solution we need to understand what It needs. - google about cravings. & Don't deny yourself some stuff you like. pizza, burger, fries everything is ok as long as you don't overdo it. But with time you should replace it with healthy alternatives.

4. No cheat days or if then make a healthy version. This stupid 10000 calories, pizza, fried food, donuts will stress your body so much you will need a week to recover. Yes, it pushes your metabolism up so you burn more, but at the same time you will achieve a healthy weight by just eating healthy and normal. & Add the stuff you like to your meals. If you want a sugarglaced and filled donut. Take one, but maybe only eat a third or half of your meal as dessert and the rest the next day.

5. Time between meals. Have at least 4 hours and maximal 7 between meals during the day. - Everything under 4 hours you still are processing your food. Everything over 7 hours you go into the craving mode. At 7 hours you will have already a few hunger phases, but not craving already. 

5. Learn to understand hunger/appetite/fullness/empty stomach. - Many that have a weight problem and eat during meals are not used to have the body not processing food. It makes people having a need to eat often again, that's why waiting at least 4 hours is so important.

- Learning what is hunger and what is apostate. Waiting at least 4 hours will teach you when you just would like to eat stuff or when you are really hungry. - Learn that hunger goes away you have to wait for about 20min. No matter how hungry you think you are but it will stop. The body needs to spend energize to send you hunger signals if after 20min nothing happens he will stop doing it to save energy. ! But after 7h you should always eat something! By then you might have 2-3 hunger phases already. Mostly it is one phase per hour. After 7h the body will not start with hunger, but with cravings which are worse because then comes the time you go into frenzy eating.

6, Start a food diary Do not count calories!!! But a diary helps you to become more conscious about when and what you are eating. If you go over my tips over and over again and start do a diary you will become more and more conscious of your eating habits and this will help you to change them with time.

7. Chew all your food well If you eat fast or swallow before you chewed the food well it will these following negative effects.  - It is bad for your digestion which can lead to problems with stomach and intestines which can lead to problems with time - it helps you to digest things better, helps you to get more nutrition and more vitamines in your body - cause you eat more consciousness your food you will taste it more and it will satisfy you more which leads to less cravings during day.

TIP for this: - Heat up your plate so the food doesn’t cool down so fast when you eat slower - Put down your cutlery between each bites this will help you to get used to chew your food properly 

8. !!!! No processed food!!!! The problem of processed food, or food that is created especially to taste delicious, makes your body addicted to it and crave it even more. Why I explain in the later part. The same goes for sodas. Tips for all that have a problem not to eat between meals and/or are stressed eater! First: Welcome to the club: I myself am a stress eater too and I struggled all my life with being overweight. I still am but I have it manageable under control and slowly going down by trying to do the stuff above. What you read is a lot of my own experience and by searching on the the internet.

Why is this so important! READ THIS! Your body's job is to keep it going. To achieve this it doesn't have the capacity for self reflection. So our body still exists in ancient time where we didn't have any processed food and when we didn't have a supermarket or just could go to the fridge to eat something. Further more can't our body grasp the concept of prepared food that was especially created to taste delicious - perfect combination of salty, sweet, fatty etc.

This leads to these following problems: 1. Our body sees processed food as hightly valuable cause the information he gets by taste signal him that this food is full of nutrions. For example: Sodas are overly sweet - the body sees this as a high recource of vitamine cause it interprets it as a ripe fruite.

The results in the problem, that our body starts to crave this food cause he sees it as hightly valuable which leads to the next problem.

2. Cause our body is always in survival mode and tries to keep the engine going. Valuable food he sees as important to consume. Cause the body doesn't know we have supermarkets or fridges. So he gives us the input that as soon such food is available, we need to consume it. Which leads to the problem that we have lost our feeling of when to eat and when not. 

Summery and how to lose weight in short:

1. Chew well: This will help you more then any other diet thing. Forget the right food or intermitten fasting etc. If you chew right you are about 50% at your right weight already. How to achieve this? - Take more time for you meal. If you chew better you will take more time. If you always take only 5 minutes for your meal and stuff yourself like a goose you will never make progress  - put down your cutlery during every bite. It will take time to get used to but if you have the next bit already on your fork in front of your mouth you wont chew anyway. Your body is programmed to open its mouth when foot is presented to it.  - Chew well: I mean really the food should be mush. And if it is already mush at least have your salvia coated everything - like 10 bites or 6-7 turnarounds with your tongue.

minor tips:  - hot plate for hot meals: So your food doesn’t get cold when you eat slower. - smaller bites: But as long you chew really well that isn’t so the important point.

Result/Benifit: - less problems with digestion and prevention of diseases: A well chewed meal that is well coated with saliva will help the body to process it much easier - which also puts less stress on the body - therefore less diseases.  - better nutrition: Because a well chewed meal helps to extract more nutrition which makes a meal more healthier (well junkfood will still be junkfood but you know what I mean) - you will eat less automaticly (reasons)   a) The more time you need for your meal will help to reduce appetite and hunger beceause on the process of eating your body will slowely reduce the hunger/appitate.   b) chewing the food better will help you to expereince the nuances and flawors stronger which will help to feel more satisfied with your meal, expereince more endorphines in your brain while eating which leads to the reaction that the body conects more value to the food (better tasting - more nutritions) which will help to reduce cravings and hunger during the day.

2. Have fix times when to eat: For most of us this is a given by job etc. But I suggest you keep this on your weekends and vacations.

How to achieve this:  Min/max between Meals: There are people that might eat only one meal or intermediat fasting etc. but this is what I found out for myself. !!!Training!!! is an exception to this rule cause you need enough energy for training and your body needs energy to recover this should always be implemented with the daily portion planning & that you don’t crash during training or aftwards.  Meals per day:  Only meals that are not connected with any training regime I suggest three.  Many of you might now say. Hey I can’t eat something in the morning. I was the same but there are many reasons to do it. 

[seouledbysisi]

Ambitious Dreams

Chapter Six

Hyoeun ran up onto the stage. Nori was very captivated by his very presence. She couldn’t take her eyes off of him. Her phone had been vibrating all day but she didn’t care. All she was worried about was supporting this talented man that was onstage. She had never seen him exhume this type of energy and it made her see him in a new light.

Hash ran up to them through the large crowd. “Sorry, I’m late. My interview ran over a little.”

Nori glanced over at him speaking to Changmo.

He hadn’t realized she was there yet.

Nova waved to him from the other end.

He decided to walk over to where she and Elle were. “What’s up?! Wasn’t expecting y’all to be here.”

She nodded as she wiped her mouth with a napkin. Ash had bought her some loaded fries. He insisted that she eat something even though she wasn’t hungry. “Yeah, Hyoeun invited us. He gave us tickets so here we are!” She yelled over the music.

Hash looked around and noticed Nori standing beside a female that he didn’t recognize. “Hey Nori!” He pulled her attention.

Nori smiled. “Hey! “ she waved then turned her attention back to Hyoeun.

He smiled a little. “Tell me something?”

Nova returned his attention. “What’s up?”

“She really likes him, right?” He asked as he nodded towards Nori.

Nova gave him a sad smile. “Yeah. She does. But it’s not that she doesn’t like you it’s just-“

He shook his head still smiling. “No, I get it. He’s more of her vibe. I’m cool with it.”

“Really? You’re such a great guy and some girl will be lucky to have you for sure!” Nova reassured him.

He smirked. “I know. I think Hyoeun will benefit from having her around. He needs someone whose going to spice his life up.”

Nova nodded. “Well I don’t wanna be rude, this is my coworker, Elle. Elle, this is Hash Swan.”

“You can just call me Hash.” He held his hand out.

Elle grinned. “Nice to meet you! You have good music.” She said excitedly as she swayed to the music.

“Well thank you. I try. What do you do?” He asked.

She smiled. “I’m a junior style consultant.”

He nodded. “Sounds cool.”

“There’s never a dull moment for sure!” She responded.

Hash nudged Nova. “I like her energy. Keep her around.” He said lowly and walked back over to Changmo.

Nova glanced over to Elle who was oblivious at this point. She didn’t want to read too much into what Hash was saying because after all he was a really nice guy so compliments didn’t necessarily mean that he liked someone.

Marz came onstage afterwards. When he performed I Can Be Your Rockstar he kept staring at Nova and there was no way that he could hide it.

Ash latched his arm around her waist as if to say back the hell up cause she’s mine.

Marz girlfriend’s eyes moved from Nova back up to Marz. She wondered if something was going on between the two but she couldn’t be for sure and she surely didn’t want to cause a scene or make Marz angry with her. After all she needed him like her life depended on it. At this point maybe it did, because when he wasn’t around she felt like she was barely hanging on.

Nova bobbed her head to the music but made sure she didn’t make eye contact with him. Ash had already damn near staked his claim on her so to save the drama she was going to do everything possible to stay away from it.

“Why aren’t you eating?” Ash asked in her ear.

Nova shrugged. “I told you I wasn’t hungry!” She yelled over the music.

“We’re going out after this. You gotta eat something, okay?”

She nodded.

He scooped her from behind and rocked her hips with his. “This isn’t too much for you, right?”

She shook her head. “Not yet.” She leaned her head back on his shoulder and swayed with him.

Nori looked in her direction and her eyes nearly popped out of her eye sockets. She snatched her away and pulled her into her embrace. “Are you drunk or are you high?” She asked frantically.

“Now you know I don’t have anything in my system! What’s the big deal? Y’all been trying to put me on him for the longest.” Nova laughed.

Nori threw her hands up. “I’m all for this but I’m making sure you know what you’re doing.” She laughed.

“I do. He’s cool and I’m pretty sure he’s tired of being rejected. Plus he’s pretty cute when he’s possessive!” She snickered.

Elle cornered in with them. “I knew you liked him!”

“We’re friends. That’s it!” Nova rolled her eyes.

“Yeah sure y’all are-.” Elle started.

Nova held a finger up, “BUT I’m not totally opposed to spending more time with him.”

“Finally you admit it. We all knew! What about Marz?” Nori asked as her eyes dragged to the stage that he was on.

Nova shrugged.

“Wait- what about Marz?! I want the tea!” Elle interrupted.

“Well they-“

Nova shook her head to cut her off. “There is no tea. He has a girlfriend and I’m not in the business of stepping on other people’s territories.” Suddenly a loud crash was heard and equipment from one of the rides went flying everywhere.

Everyone screamed and began to run. It was so many people trying to get away that you could barely see which direction was safe. Nova felt a hand grip hers and pull her away. She wasn’t sure who it was but at this point she didn’t have time to think. It was a now or never situation. She just prayed for safety.

Hyoeun leaped off the stage. “Nori!” He began to yell frantically searching for her. He wasn’t worried about his own safety he just wanted her to be okay. “Nori!”

Elle was pushed to the ground. She heard a loud groan as she hit the gr- it was Hash. Her eyes widened. She immediately began to cry. “I’m so sorry!” She yelled and tried to get herself up. She was a mess at this point. She looked up at the huge crowd and became so overwhelmed.

He held his hand out and jerked her up. “Hurry, lets go!” They ran together with the crowd.

Emergency sirens were ringing from every direction. Everyone had been split up.

Nova began panicking when she searched the parking lot and couldn’t find Nori.

Ash held her and rubbed her hair to calm her down. “She’s fine. Hyoeun is looking for her.”

She shook her head. “I won’t be okay until I see her!” Tears blurred her vision.

Ash pulled his phone out and began to call Hyoeun. He held Nova close with his other arm. Her arms were wrapped around him so tight he could barely breathe but strangely he was okay with that. Her warmth was keeping his calm. Hyoeun wasn’t answering.

Nova looked up at him. “No answer?”

He shook his head and held her head into his chest. “They’re okay. They have to be!”

She was beginning to shake. “But what if-“

“Nova!” Elle yelled as she walked hand-in-hand with Hash.

Nova tore away from Ash and ran to her. “You okay?” She grabbed her cheeks to check for any cuts or bruises. She had a small cut above her lip. “Elle, I’m so sorry.”

Elle shook her head. “I’m fine. I just got knocked over and my face made friends with the ground.”

Nova passed a look between the two who were still holding hands. “No more making friends with the ground.” She rubbed her shoulder.

“I can’t make any promises but I’ll try not to. You know I’m super friendly!” She giggled.

Nova couldn’t help from being distracted by the two still holding hands. Like she understood him being a gentleman and getting her to safety but damn, she was safe now. “You sure you’re okay?”

Elle looked over at Hash and finally realized that their hands were still interlocked. She snatched it away. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry.” She spoke to him quickly as she fiddled with her fingers.

He slid his hands in his pockets. “It’s cool. We’re all shook up and caught in the moment.”

“Hey! I found them!” Ash yelled in their direction. He had kept trying to call Hyoeun but still was getting no answer. He was relieved when he saw Nori and him emerge from the crowd. He ran to them quickly. “Dude, why the fuck haven’t you answered your phone?”

Hyoeun shook his head. “I dropped it somewhere back there when I was looking for her.”

Ash noticed him limping. “You okay? Do you need to get that checked?”

Hyoeun shook his head fast. “Nah, I’m good. Let’s just go!”

Nori grabbed his arm so he could settle his weight on her a bit. “You saved me so now it’s my turn to help you out.”

He gave her a warning look.

“Let me do this! Don’t give me that look.”

He smirked. “You’re gonna be the death of me.” He chuckled.

They all gathered into Ash’s green expedition.

Ash opened the front seat door for Nova and shut it behind her. He jumped in and cranked the vehicle. He hooked his phone up to the Bluetooth in the vehicle. His phone began to ring. Marz. He answered it. “Hey, y’all good?” Marz asked over the big speaker of the truck.

“Yeah. Y’all?” Ash answered as he turned onto the freeway.

“Yeah. We’re heading to grab some food. Y’all got the girls? I didn’t see them. We looked for them.” Marz revealed.

Ash sighed. “Yeah they’re with us. Is Jangmi and Lee okay?”

Lee? Who the hell is that? Nova thought to herself. She couldn’t remember anyone else being around but then again Ash had occupied all of her space.

Marz got quiet. “Yeah they’re fine.”

“Alright, we’ll see y’all at the house. We gonna grab some food and head there.” He hung up. He looked over at Nova whose leg was trembling. He reached over the middle console and grabbed her hand. He laced their fingers.

She tightened the grip and caressed his hand with her free one.

They went inside a McDonald’s to order food. Ash ordered himself two burgers and a large fry. Nova just stood behind him slightly quietly.

“What you want?” He pulled her next to him. “You gotta eat, Nova.” He rubbed her shoulder.

“Just a nugget and side salad.” She spoke quickly and stepped back with Nori as he paid for the food. He handed her a large cup.

Hash ordered his food and then pointed at Elle.

She looked around. “Me?”

He nodded and beckoned for her. “I got you. Order whatever you want.”

“No no! I’m good. I can buy my own food.” Elle became flustered. Why the heck is this man being so nice to me?

“Order. I’m not taking no for an answer.” Hash pushed.

She finally ordered a burger and fry.

They got back in the vehicle and headed to the guys house. They pulled up to huge house. It was nice.

Nova’s eyes widened. “Do y’all all live here?”

Ash grabbed their food and nodded and headed to the front door. They all followed him to a big room with a huge tv and two sectional couches in it.

Nova’s eyes blinked a few times when she saw a familiar face. She stiffened.

Ash noticed her hesitation. “What’s wrong?”

Lee. When he had asked Marz about Jangmi and Lee,this is who he meant. The devil herself. She rolled her eyes and continued over to one of the couches.

Ash sat beside her and handed her the food. “You sure you’re okay?”

She nodded. “Yep! Just be prepared to take me home soon.”

He eyed her. “Let’s just enjoy the moment. We could’ve died tonight. I just want to be beside you and share your comfort.”

She nodded with a slight snare.

Jangmi stood from the couch and walked out.

Marz just watched her. He didn’t dare follow. Quite frankly he wasn’t too interested in her nor her friend’s drama.

Lee walked near Nova. “What the hell are you here for? Have you not tortured my friend enough already?”

Nori’s attention caught quickly. She stood up to be sure her friend was okay.

“What exactly have I done to your friend?” Nova questioned. Now she was really irritated!

Lee cocked her head to the side. “You want what you can’t have. Marz doesn’t like you so back the fuck off! They’ve been together for years, nothing you say or do will change that!”

Nova laughed. “I’m not trying to get him, what imaginary world are you and your friend living in?”

“Just stay away from him!” Lee continued.

Nova stood. “Let me make something clear, I’m all the way over here minding my own business. If your friend is threatened just by my mere presence then that sounds like a personal problem to me! Now you back off!”

Nori walked up. “Walk away little girl. You don’t want these problems!” She directed at Lee.

“Lee, you and Jangmi are dismissed. Take her home. I’ll talk to her later.” Marz spoke up.

Lee’s eyes widened. She was fuming. “Are you fucking kidding me? You’re going to dismiss your girlfriend? You’re a disrespectful asshole. She should dump your ass!”

Marz shrugged. “Been waiting on that anyway.” He said under his breath.

Lee whipped her head around. “What did you just say?”

He simply shook his head. “Nothing. Take her home.”

Lee walked out the room to find her friend.

Nova sat down with her face in her hands.

Ash grabbed their food up and held out his hand. “Let’s go to my room.”

Nova nodded. As soon as they made it to his room her emotions fell apart. She was livid. She wasn’t a home wrecker. “I don’t deserve that. I don’t, Ash!” Tears fell onto her cheek.

“No you don’t. Don’t worry about it. Jangmi is insecure.”

“But why? I’ve never even made an advance at him. Barely talk to him! And on top of all of that I’m here with YOU!”

Ash sat on his bed and patted the space next to him. “It’s not about you. They’ve had problems for a long time. They’re just finally being brought to the table I guess.”

Nova looked up at him. “They act like I’m the problem.”

“You’re not. That’s been a sinking ship for about two years now.”

“So why does he keep her around? He doesn’t seem happy anyway!” She rolled her eyes.

Ash exhaled deeply. “Circumstances.” He said plainly.

Nova laid back on two of his pillows staring at the ceiling.

He laid on his side and cozied up close to her. They laid in silence. He caressed her soft coils on her head. He’d never been happier lying next to someone who wasn’t even his. For all he knew Marz and his girl could break up and pull Nova right from under him. He wanted to savor this moment as long as he could.

[jessiewre]

Day 22

Sun 26th Jan 💜

It’s been a year to the day since we lost Nanny. That’s mad isn’t it. Miss that legend.

Woke up at about 5am because we’d gone to bed too early, but managed to power through and stay in bed till 7am. Phil got up and continued researching his new obsession - a half marathon near Kilimanjaro - and I joined him at 8:30am for Spanish omelette breakfast included in our 25$ a night room. Good deal that init. People say that in London you’re never further than like 5 meters away from a rat. Well thats like me and good deals, there’s always one close by for me to sniff out. Maybe I’m more like one of those pigs and the deals are truffles.

I digress...

The hostel manager was now wearing a chefs coat and I realised he was now the chef. What a multi-talented chap he was. I threw him into a frenzy by asking for salt, pepper, ketchup and chilli sauce, and eventually went into the kitchen myself to assist.

The ketchup was in a huge bucket bottle in the fridge and he gracefully glugged it out into a plastic squeezey bottle that he couldn’t find the lid for. Yum.

Shout out to Stella and Helen who will surely boke at that description of keptchup.

We got bodas to the Woman’s Centre for the recommended walking tour starting at 10am - but there was a big bike race on believe it or not, and so road blocks meant we had to walk the last kilometre. Phil was loving the bike race, I could see his legs twitching like he was imagining himself on a bike that moment, but I soon snapped him back to reality by power-walking ahead to avoid us being super late to the walk.

The sky was rapidly turning a dark shade of grey but Phil assured me that the weather report he’d checked stated that there would be no rain until midday or later.

You may be able to sense where this is going.

We arrived at the Centre and sat in the sofa area for the introduction, and the exact moment the woman began to talk and tell us about the community, the rain began to thunder on the metal roof and no one could hear a word she said. After 10 minutes, the intro finished and the rain actually calmed down a little, but then it went totally crazy again and me and Phil looked at each other like...hmm should we just not do this walking tour.

Another English girl there was thinking the same thing and the 3 of us decided to ditch the tour and head back the next day, while the 3 older people and a young American woman went off in the torrential rain with umbrellas. Umbrella’s are all good and well but I couldn’t see another soul on the streets so I seriously doubted how good a community walking tour would be in this weather. We chatted to the English girl, Esther, and she was ending a weeks work doing research for the Princes Trust who she works for. In a nutshell, she creates programmes for local groups in different countries to integrate technology into their lives to improve their prospects and quality of life. Really interesting! Phil mentioned that she should hang at our hostel later if she wanted as we were planning on trying out the bowling alley on site, and she was really up for that, especially considering she was in Kigali on her own and it was her last night.

The rain eventually calmed down enough for us to jump on a boda and we decided that considering the rain, it would be appropriate to visit the Genocide Museum at this point. We knew we were going to visit it at some point so made sense to be inside during the rain.

We were really hungry though and didn’t want to rush through the museum, so thankfully there was a cafe on site where we had a vege burger and vege panini, both with chips. We decided we’d try and lay off the chips for a while after that meal, it was the chip that broke the camels back.

The Rwandan Genocide museum was a harrowing and necessary visit.

The below information is upsetting, I’ll warn you now.

genocide

noun

noun: genocide; plural noun: genocides

1. the deliberate killing of a large group of people, especially those of a particular nation or ethnic group.

To briefly summarise, the problems began when the country was ‘colonised’ - or should we say if we’re being honest, when the country was invaded against its will. The Germans were first in 1899 then the Belgians in 1916 and then the Belgian’s decided to split the country into three different groups. Ultimately this created a sort of competition between the groups of people that had never existed before and this was what they say sparked the issues in the country. Fast forward to 1994, and the genocide officially began, over a period of 100 days - neighbours were murdering neighbours, friends were murdering friends. Relatives even betrayed each other. By turning people against each other, the ringleaders were able to sit back and watch the killings happen for them.

Being in the country now, its very difficult to imagine it happening, as it feels vibrant, friendly and safe. But the images in the museum leave you under no illusions. People were mindlessly slaughtered, no one was spared - children, pregnant women and men. It was absolutely mind-blowingly horrendous.

The museum talks a lot about how the international community sat back and let it happen, like Rwanda was on another planet that no one cared about. There is obviously a lot of pain from that which was difficult to read about.

But there were also a number of people who put themselves on the line by hiding people in their houses and gardens, saving many lives. Unfortunately, there were not enough of those people and over a million people were killed. They are still uncovering mass graves today.

There were videos playing with interviews from survivors talking about the guilt they feel from being the only member of their family who survived. But incredibly, they spoke about forgiveness and said they would like to forgive the perpetrators if they were willing to ask for forgiveness. They spoke about moving forward with only peace in mind, as this was what would move Rwanda forward in a peaceful way. By seeking revenge, the violence and pain would continue, they said. It’s unbelievable to hear that from someone who watched their innocent young siblings and mother murdered by machete in front of their very eyes. You can’t even imagine what this person has gone through.

One of the most difficult parts of the museum was The Children’s Room. This section had beautiful photos of child victims printed in large portraits displayed around the room, with a small plaque underneath each one with bullet points of information about the child, like:

Name

Age

Favourite Snack

Best Friend


Then the final point for every child was

Cause of death

The descriptions here were detailed and distressing.

Obviously there is a huge amount of detail missing from this account of the genocide and I urge you to have a read about it if you have time and are interested.

We left there after a few hours taking it all in and went to find the Inema Art gallery, as we’d read about it being a really cool artists space that has had a lot of international interest.

It was different to what I expected, as there wasn’t actually a lot of pieces in there - more like a few extremely large pieces, each priced around $5000. So obviously, we bought two and headed off.

Well anyway, some of the artists were there stood near their art in smart clothes and were hoping for a super rich muzungu coming in and buying everything. That was not going to be us, so we thanked them and headed to the cafe for a little coffee.

Not before I asked them if there were any female artists there.

One guy said No, the women in Rwanda seem to stick to the craft-making and THEN he said that even though many are good at art, he thinks they are lacking in passion.

I said Hmm perhaps you means Confidence, not passion.

He was like Oh yeah, maybe that.

Yeah MAYBE THAT mate.

We boda’d back to the hostel and Phil donned up in his gear for a run. Just before heading off, he finally booked himself a spot onto the Kilimanjaro half marathon in Moshi, Tanzania on 1st March. FFS. Better get practicing on my excited supportive girlfriend look then.

Meanwhile I sat in the hostel garden watching videos on how to use Procreate on the iPad. Suddenly realised Phil had been gone AGES and then he rocked up having run like 10 MILES and then said Oh also, I may have tripped over and potentially broken my toe.

He’d taken out his phone to check the map and ended up kicking a bit of metal sticking out of the group, and then he’d fallen over and made a few new cracks on his phone screen (to join the 5 that were already there).

Wicked.

Phil had a quick shower and change while hobbling around on his bad foot (I hear broken toes are brilliant for half marathons), and Esther arrived at the hostel, so we went searching for a restaurant open on a Sunday. After a few fails, we eventually stumbled across a place called Afrika Bite and negotiated the 10k per person meaty Rwandan platter down to 5k each for a vegetarian version for all of us. It was so good! Garlic potatoes, peanut sauce, rice, vegetables, fried banana, salad, plus some ‘fish fingers’ ordered as an extra. Such a welcome relief to eat something local and delicious. Shout out to those who are reading this blog mainly for the food descriptions.

We went back to the hostel to play in East Africa’s 2nd bowling alley (the only other one is in Nairobi!) and Esther made sure she mentioned she had a ‘bad neck’. That would explain her unbelievably bad scoring thats for sure. Ok now to be fair, Phil the physio also advised that she use the heaviest ball available which turned out to be truly awful advise and after a stagnant run of about 2 points in 6 goes, she tried a really light ball - and actually hit some pins! Go Esther.

Can I also mention that this bowling alley had a system where a bloke hidden at the end would organise the pins and reset them for us manually using a kind of lever system. He always managed to move his hands out of the way before the ball struck the pins of course.

Esther headed back to her hotel and we ended up playing basketball on the two hoops game with Desire the manager. Our quick game of ‘How many can you score in 1 minute’ managed to take over our lives for over an hour. My record was 23, Phil’s 24 (he’s taller init) and Desire managed 33 (well, he works there so ya know). Was addictive and super fun and I got the impression Desire will spend the next year working on his pb.

[sierrabinondo]

woodland creatures II - day 3: denton

when we all woke up, we noticed our sinuses felt like absolute shit. pulses. felt the same. the hotel rooms must have had a shit ton of dust in them. poor matt had a cold so i'm sure that made it worse. once we packed up to leave, we agreed to meet at IHOP for a lil family breakfast. i ordered waaaay too much food, i got a huge fucking vegetable omelet with a side of protein pancakes. i really should have just ordered one of those lmao. but it was pretty good. my only complaint is that IHOP doesn't have non-dairy milk!!! what the fuck! yeah lemme just drink this liquid pig slop straight with no oat milk. i should have followed matt and ordered orange juice.

after that we ran to a target cause i was missing makeup (wow shocker). i noticed these really cool energy drinks called alani and the cans were so pretty but i had already finished buying shit and didn't wanna get back in line. but! luckily, when we made one of our stops on the way to texas, we saw them in a gas station. so i bought 5! purely off the strength of the label design! why am i like this! ok but the addison rae one was fucking delicious it was like a strawberry milkshake. the others i still have not tried HAHA.

crossing the state line to texas was so exciting. for years people have been asking us to come there and like this was finally the fucking moment. we played killer's tacos which is now one of my favorite places to play. it was small but it wasn't cramped. they had incredible food and beer. there was an outdoor patio section i really wished i could have spent more time at. off the bat, the vibes of the place and the people there were straight up amazing. real friendly folks!!! the promoters from DIE entertainment, jesse and daisy, are so so wonderful. they truly took care of us. they got us vegan pizza and exchanged really kind words.  honestly the texas shows, objectively, were the best. we had a good crowd watching us and a lot of them knew who we were 🥺 i talked with a lot of people about anime hahahaha, that was a common conversation point. i got a few tacos after i sang, i think i got carne asada, i think pernil?? and a vegetarian taco. with guac and chips. i streamed the set and then i forgot to end it when i suddenly had a wait at merch, so my viewers got to have a nice merch table simulator stream lmao. i drew the red panda and the pigeon on the white board at the venue too but i forgot to get a picture of it.

(EDIT: kevin got a photo. here it is haha. thanks dude)

oh my god watching the crowd go off for pulses. was INSANE. not a single person wasn't moving, or dancing, or singing the words. the crowd was equally as hype in houston. they work so hard and their music resonates with so many people- to get to see that in person, so far from home, ugh. i got really emotional. and none of us had ever gigged in texas before, this was our first time.

while we swore we'd eat tacos in texas, we had to be sure to also enjoy the region's offerings of fast food and THAT. JUST so happened to include in-n-out. i never eat fast food (not as a point of contention. it just doesn’t agree with my stomach really), especially not burgers, but holy fuck i love in-n-out so much. i had it once in vegas after years of seeing my touring friends talk so much about it. it was awesome to get to finally go with my bandmates. i got a double cheeseburger and animal style fries to split with taylor. we ate it back at the hotel while we played mario kart in our hotel room. this hotel was pretty nice but the rooms were sooo cramped. we got a couple rounds in before we all went to bed to hopefully give ourselves more time to travel to houston.

[jillabouttown]

きゅう: Wind it Up

After complaining a few days ago that I don’t do well in the mornings, my parents have been going running and letting me sleep in. So we didn’t get to our first destination until lunch time.

After downing some more T’s Tan Tan vegan ramen, we hit Ueno Park. There’s a huge lake mostly overgrown by lotus plants, but there’s a small section where white people pedal boats shaped like swans around. So obviously, we did that. I sat in the middle and steered. The best part was trying to get out of the boat in my boot, ugh.

Then we walked for what seemed like forever through the Yanaka neighborhood to check out the old wooden homes. There was a legendary Himalayan Cedar tree, that had of course, been split in half by the typhoon. Cause I am VERY bad luck for trees. Ask the Shakespeare tree in Central Park. Oh wait, you can’t, cause it died the day before I went to visit it.

There was also a shrine to the God of leg health, and I definitely showed off my ankle. But it was under construction, kinda like my bones. So keep expectations low.

More walking, to the “sunset stairs”, where I had a blood sugar melt down and my parents bought me a bunch of fried snacks. Second wind! So we went BACK to Ain Soph Ripple and got more vegan burgers and also vegan French toast. Which we ate while chatting with French people! Last time we met a UK ex-pat and an American visiting his Japanese girlfriend. The solution to climate change AND world peace is veganism!

[let-me-have-your-smile]

You know I am ashamed of what I have eaten because I haven’t written a post since the Valentine’s…

Valentine’s Day with Best Pal (Tuesday)

Best Pal and I celebrated Valentine ’s Day at her house. We went to the supermarket and bought lots and LOTS of ingredients for a special tapas/ antipasti tea. When we got to her house her brother had made a MASSIVE burrito so we took a portion for our starters :D

When we got crack-a-lacking in the kitchen we made salmon rolls wrapped in cucumber, we had olives, chorizo, feta, toasted flat bread, mozzarella, artichokes, chicken, sun dried tomatoes and a whole lot of yumminess! We skewered most of it up and it looked fabby if I do say so myself :D Best Pal had never eaten an artichoke before! At first she confused it with an anchovy and thought it was fish… She said she liked it though and that’s good :)

For pudding we had a tub of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream (the one with the peanut butter cups in) which was meant to be to share but I swear best pal had about 3 spoonful’s. I took the rest of the tub home and ate it a couple of days later. Oops :/

I gave best pal some protein bars in a ribbon which she seemed to love a lot. It’s funny because the days before she had mentioned she would much rather have protein than flowers, but I had already bought her the present weeks ago!

Pizza Party (Wednesday)

The devilishly handsome, curly haired man got off the train. She was stood waiting eagerly on the platform. Their eyes met… He ran to her and she jumped into his arms. He turned and handed her a single red rose… she cried.

The Valentine’s meal was perrrrfect! It was the absolute best!!!! My boyfriend and I went to a restaurant where you got unlimited pizza and, oh me oh my, I was not disappointed! We got four pizzas between the two of us and apart from two slices we polished them all off :O

The first pizza I ordered was called ‘Quattro Stagioni’ (I’m literally just going to copy the menu) which had a tomato and basil sauce, grated mozzarella, mixed wild mushrooms, herb roasted ham, artichokes and black olives. That was SCRUMMY!!! My boyfriend (much like best pal) discovered he liked artichokes through this pizza. Why has no one eaten artichokes before?

I thought this print of Venus eating pizza was hilarious 😂😂

At the same time we ordered ‘Hickory pig’. This had a hickory BBQ sauce base, grated mozzarella, chantico spiced cheddar, smoked pancetta and hickory smoked pulled pork. I loved this one. I am a huge fan off BBQ sauce. Mmmmmmmm J

The next round we only ordered one for the table and we went with ‘My cousin vinay’ which was a curry pizza. It came with a Goan coconut curry sauce, paneer, wilted spinach, onion bhajis and mint yoghurt. This was also yum! The onion bhajis were so tasty! I have never had an onion bhaji on a pizza before!

Last but not least we probably ordered a mistake. I am going to blame my boyfriend and the waiter for this. First of all my boyfriend said it sounded nice, and then the waiter rushed us and I don’t think I had time to look properly. We went for the ‘El Bastardo’. Keep in mind I don’t like spice when you read what was on this pizza. It came with a Tomato and basil sauce (yum), grated mozzarella (yum), spicy nduja paste (I have no idea what this is but its called SPICY), Spicy Italian sausage (yum to the sausage but again SPICY), Jalapeños (I spotted this and asked the waiter for it without), red and green chillies (I wish I had spotted these…) and a chilli jam (I think we have entered spice hell?). So as you can tell the pizza was VERY spicy!

The prosecco was unlimited just like the pizza and I drank way more than I should have. It was so easy to drink though! It tasted so yummy and I needed SOMETHING to wash all the pizza down with! The spicy pizza must have been the cause of three of the glasses of prosecco, the other three I drank… well the blame is all on me isn’t it.

After the pizza party we went for cocktails. It was my boyfriend’s idea that we went to the same pub that we had our first date in. I thought this was sooo romantic and it made my heart melt! After making my boyfriend drink two slightly feminine drinks, a couple of girls offered us half a bottle of pink rosé prosecco they weren’t going to finish. We couldn’t say no… It is safe to say when I woke up at 6:40am for work the next morning I was feeling it.

Momma’s Birthday (again) (Thursday)

The day after the celebrations with my boyfriend I was in dire need of a bacon sandwich. This may have been less bad if I hadn’t already eaten my lunch earlier in the day :/ oopsie. So off I toddled to Sainsbury’s and I picked up a bacon and ketchup sandwich in white bread (white bread should be illegal because its addictive and bad for you. Why not just call it cocaine and have done with it?) and some vegetable crisps. I wasn’t trying to be healthy with the vegetable crisps, I was just craving the masses of salt they have on them. We can pretend they almost class as real vegetables though right?

That evening, to make matters worse, we were celebrating my mum’s birthday (again). My sister had come home from London for a few days so we went out to a pub for a family meal. I got lemonade because there was no way I could face alcohol touching my mouth. To eat I ordered a chicken, bacon and cheese burger and it was the best :) It came with fries and onion rings which I slathered in ketchup.

My diet gets better…

Friday, my diet wasn’t so bad compared with the rest of the week. My boyfriend came to stay with me for the weekend and we ate tea at my house. My mum seems to have stopped the healthy meals she was making in January as we had Macaroni cheese with bacon in it. Considering I don’t really like bacon, I seem to have eaten a lot over the past week.

Saturday gets worse though… My mum made pancakes for lunch as she thought my sister and boyfriend might not celebrate pancake day themselves. This involved a lot of syrup, cherries, lemon juice and whipped cream!

My boyfriend and I went into town in the afternoon. Our mission was to hunt for a pair of gloves for him, and lots of Pokemon for me. It turns out that NOWHERE sells gloves in February. Before we got the bus home we had a quick little hot chocolate and split a slice of coffee and walnut cake. The cake was alright but a bit disappointing. It seemed to be burnt in places.

We regretted the cake when we got home. My mum had prepared a Sunday dinner. She gave us ice cream and homemade cookies for afters. I tried to eat it all but I ended up leaving the ice cream. I had a MASSIVE tummy ache after all of that food!

Spur of the moment my boyfriend and I decided to go out drinking. Originally the plan was we would go to a bar for one or two and come back home. This ended up in going to a few bars and a night club, someone standing on my foot at 2AM and then coming home. It was triples for singles in a bar we went to and I ended up having 3 drinks there :O

Safe to say on Sunday we were hung over once again. It was very naughty of us to drink twice in one week. That never happens! Boyfriendo and I decided we wanted a Mcdonalds for lunch. By the time we got there it was probably 2pm. We were on the hunt for some gloves again but we had no success. We got back to my house at 5pm where a chicken dinner was on the table ready for tea. We had made the same mistake as the day before.

After tea we were little naughties and had some sweets and chocolate. I’m pretty sure I have no necessity to eat ever again ever!

Gym

How I wish I can say I rectified all that bad eating with cardio and weights. I didn’t. The last time I went to the gym was Monday 13th February. Best pal is now in New York for a week so I won’t be getting back to the gym for a while :/ I’m going to try and walk home a few nights a week to make up for SoMeThInG?

I need to get my motivation back from somewhere to eat better. This week I’m meeting boyfriendo on Wednesday so that will be my cheat meal. HOPEFULLY I can be motivated enough to eat better the rest of the week.

Who knows what I weigh? I’m petrified to stand on the scales!

….Until next time friends!!!!

Food Glorious Food You know I am ashamed of what I have eaten because I haven’t written a post since the Valentine’s...