#we only started after getting xrayed to make sure

[tricksforclicks]

Leg Vaulting

Basic health things first: make sure your dog is old enough and have their growth plates closed before working on this. When in doubt, wait. Also make sure that your dog is in physical shape to do this and has a good body awareness.

Unwritten foundation skills I'm using here that I didn't think of when editing video:

a strong drive to bite the disc. Either a natural desire like Hopper, or for dogs like Bern a built one where they know that Bite is the last action before their cookie of choice so it develops value that way.

Dog is 100% allowed and encouraged to be on the human's body (normal people probably add "In this specific context". I honestly don't care)

Dog is comfortable with the human supporting/touching them while in mid-air

Basic breakdown of how I teach a leg vault.

Move on from each step when your dog is confident and enthusiastic with where you are currently at and don't be afraid to take a step back to reinforce the foundations if the current step is getting a little shakey.

Foundations skills - a and b in the video can be worked in either order and are pretty standard not-disc-specific skills. Vertical disc is just another form of impulse control and means pay attention because you are getting information, but the disc isn't available to bit until flat.

Place the target at the appropriate spot for take off. Cue going to the target, then add in your vault cue. (there is an extra yes in here because we are pass this point and Hopper thought it was stupid) . Mark the correct position and release to disc (flip flat so it becomes available to bite). The reward/disc position is what is used to get the vaulting behaviour. The dog's head goes where the disc is, so you want to position it where the dog will have to hit your leg to get it. Remember to leave room for the dog's body and the vault. You'll also want to keep it closer towards your torso so it becomes inefficient for the dog to go around your leg to get it. / At this point I also help the dog with the landing in case they are so focused on disc that they forget about the landing.

Same as step 2, but you drop the first target cue and have just the vault cue to get the dog into the proper position.

Here you can drop helping the dog land. You can feel when the dog is ready for this from the previous steps as you help them down since you can feel them setting up for landing (or not in which case don't move on quite yet). If it is going slow or your dog is relying on you to be a dumbass who doesn't have to think about landing you can adjust how lightly you support them first.

Add in the toss. Practice the toss without the dog multiple times first so you know where it is going. My vertical pose indicates to the dog where the top of the toss will be so they can plan their jump from where they are.

Remove the target indicator and make sure that the dog is getting the right spacing.

When moving up to standing, I go all the way back to the beginning to make sure the foundations for that specific look of the vault are solid.

[dausy]

Between my dog and my FiL I'm a little nervous Nancy.

My FiL keeps trying to stroke out (literally) and my dog had me take her into the vet today. I need people to behave. I have non-refundable tickets.

Edie gave me a bit of a scare though. She's had an occasional cough since we moved here and its always sounded more like she was trying to cough up something stuck in her mouth rather than a cough. Which makes since because my backyard was so full of stickers. In particular there are this fuzzy ones that get stuck in your clothes. She has a favorite ball that is just riddled with them and I bet they're getting stuck in her throat. This city just sucks for dogs. But I saw a video about the dog respiratory virus thats going around and they were like "heres what a dog cough can look like" and its that same stuck-in-throat noise my dog makes. Now she had kennel cough as a puppy and those coughs were like human coughs. Obviously from the lung type coughs. But I'm not diagnosing my dog with a resp. virus. Again, she's had this cough since we moved into this house and it notably happens when we go outside and play. She's fine otherwise. But I don't want to take her to the boarding facility and the people there be like "YOUR DOG HAS A COUUUUGH!"

however, the primary reason we went to the vet was because over the weekend I went to lift her up onto the couch and got nasty peepee on my hand. Now even though we havent been to the groomers in a while, me getting peepee on my hand is abnormal. She normally has clean butt fluff. It happened a second time and then a third time I went to wipe her after one potty break and it just was not a normal pee consistency. So now I'm afraid she has a UTI. Luckily today at work was a half day and I announced I was leaving to try and take my dog to a walk in clinic.

We have yet to find a PCP veterinarian since living here and the last vet I took her to in October, I didnt care for them. Theres one clinic nearish my house that only does walk ins (its not an ER) so we went to it because I, again, dont want to take her to the boarding facility with an active infection and I don't have time to make an appointment. I actually really liked the vet I met there. It was a nice facility too.

but they went to go get a urine specimen and pulled me back to their back area and grabbed an ultrasound and told me they found something suspicious in her bladder. They said they were concerned because they weren't sure what it was. It didn't look like stones but they said it was weird. Ended up doing Xrays (now I wanna especially because I mentioned this cough) to make sure theres no apparent tumors anywhere. The xray didn't show anything. Maybe she has some sediment or sludge in her bladder. We're going to start her on antibiotics and treat it like a UTI which I'm supposed to pick up tomorrow (somehow) and follow up in a couple weeks to see if we have any results.

Like..girl..no..stop..My husbands going to wake up to that credit card bill like "what happen?" especially because the boarding facility already took out a deposit. Dogs are expensive, don't get dogs.

[evanoxvt]

A recent trip to the dentist...with my service dog!

I know I can get ranty, so let's get all the boring stuff out of the way first!

As many people may know, I have a ton of health issues, ranging from physical to mental. This rant will primarily be discussing my anxiety and my ADHD, ASD, & PTSD to some extent, but again, it primarily leans towards my anxiety.

I have a service dog, whom on my stream is dubbed "Town Crier" due to a few reasons. This is partly because she is a husky mix, but mostly due to my PTSD and deep need for privacy when I originally started streaming. We also call her TC for short.

Town Crier was a pet for the first ~5 years of her life, and has been serving as a service dog for nearly 2 years (including training time). As a result she still has many pet tendencies, but there is only so much I can do when I live with 7+ other people whom do not treat her like a service animal with a job. I focus on making sure she can & does do her job correctly and that she does not react to other animals negatively when out of the house. As she is a psychiatric service dog and I can only do so much in my situation I do feel bad that she is not always up to standards, but I need her to do her job more than I need her to be perfect for public perception. Main mistake she makes is constantly asking for pets, and sometimes trying to sniff for food in public. To avoid making this a run on section, we can talk about this another day.

Usually I go to the dentist 2x a year, and the first 3 times I had her sit in the lobby with someone I brought with me. This most recent time however was different from all of the other appointments.

My biggest fear of having a service dog while at the dentist is that I will need to command her to do something while they are in my mouth. I never felt like she was prepared enough for a proper dentist appointment, this time included which is why I bring someone with me to hold on to her in the lobby. I'm never fucking doing that again, not after my recent experience.

How my usual dentist appointments go:

I walk in, (sometimes we do xrays, other times we don't), sit down, and they begin cleaning my teeth. If I get xrays, I have to struggle for my life because I have EXTREMELY bad gag reflex and the xray thing in your mouth really starts this issue up. After xrays we go straight into the cleaning. Now, I have alot of anxiety and the way it works at the dentist, it becomes a huge downwards spiral.

For one, I don't know wtf to do with my hands, so I'm usually gripping the little bib thing for dear life with both my hands, as if not doing so is gonna literally be the death of me. YES I END UP WITH A DEATHGRIP ON IT. Secondly, I have a hard time breathing once I am conscious of my breathing. This goes into a downward spiral in and of itself very quickly, but add in my bad gag reflex which makes it much worse? Yea, we now have anxiety plus anxiety to the tenth or something. Add in that I can feel everything they're doing and that it all sounds so loud that it could split boulders in half? Yea, not a good sensory place for my ASD to be. Oh and I mentioned ADHD, yea, I feel the endless need to fidget and move and can't relax while I'm there.

I usually leave dentist appointments very stressed out and uncomfortable.

How this last dentist appointment went:

I walk in, leave my SD in the lobby with my grandma, brush my teeth and while going to sit down at the chair my SD was whining quite a bit. My dentist asked me if she needs to come in with us and I expressed my worry about needing to tell her to do stuff while they were in my mouth, but (ironically off topic) they said they'd just need to clean up any fur she shed....

So we brought her back, and she was on the left side of my chair. I have an incredibly short leash for "walking" and a "normal" short leash for when I'm sitting around somewhere for longer periods of time (ie. restaurants, movie theaters, etc.) so that she can lay down, sit, or adjust herself as she pleases. I had both leashes on her at the time, and had the handle of the longer one under me on this chair.

I experienced 2 different realities during this dentist visit. REALITY reality, and in MY BRAIN reality.

In REALITY reality, she tried wandering a little bit from time to time and I snapped my fingers to tell her to return to my hand, sometimes tried pushing through my hand to go to the rest of the dentist office, but mostly stayed standing against my hand that was petting her. I was petting her neck/front chest area the entire time.

Usually I need to raise my right hand several times during the cleaning because of my gag reflex. Despite them knowing and working on my teeth for years, this still happens because there's the normal level of my gag reflex, and the spikes. They have learned the ques for my regular level of gag reflex, but the spikes are kinda like lag spikes in a game and can't be anticipated easily. During this visit, I only had to do this once. Moreover they actually had to tell me to close my mouth for the suction thingie which is unusual, but was due to me nearly falling asleep while they were cleaning my teeth.

In MY BRAIN's reality, I was just petting my dog, and suddenly I was just surrounded by this warm long fur blowing in the wind with this gentle warm light glowing down on me. Anyone who's watched Fairy Tail will know the Golden Grasslands scene, and it was like I was laying down on the grass there (but it was fur not grass in my mind). For those who aren't familiar with this, I added an image for you!

When you combine these two realities you get an unexpected truth: albeit Town Crier is not perfect, she does her job beautifully none the less. Moreover, this is the first time I have a solid "event" where I can explain to someone how she does her job. Usually I can at best describe what it is like when she either does not come with me, or cannot do her job... but for once I have such a vivid before vs after experience I can share to show just what a difference she makes.

People have criticized me so many times before because I could not describe exactly what or how she does her job (as task names weren't enough for them). I get that I am not good at explaining it, and I get that alot of people don't understand how she (a psychiatric service dog) is any different from an ESA (emotional support animal) even when I explain to them that its her tasks that make her a SD vs an ESA... blah blah blah. We don't need to hear about all the haters, because the point of all of this is that SHE MAKES A HUGE DIFFERENCE, and now I have something so vivid and clear to use as my example of what she does that it just makes me feel a tiny bit more secure when we go about our day.

Small anecdotes:

People have told me that "She can't possibly be a service dog, her vest is blue not red!" - False, "The ADA does not require service animals to wear a vest, ID tag, or specific harness." In fact, if it were to impede in the dog's ability to do their job, they are not required to wear ANYTHING AT ALL. However, most service dog handlers choose to have them marked for a slightly easier time when in public spaces, especially in accessibility or to aid in reducing the frequency of the general public interfering with their job. Often you will see "service dog" or "do not pet" on vests worn by them, and many will have additional information on them (I only have a basic harness... might make my own custom one someday).

People have mentioned time and time again "She must be a service dog, she can walk in those shoes normally/ 'my dog would just throw them off'." AGAIN this is false, a dog walking in shoes does NOT make the training thus whether she has her booties on or not does not make her a service dog or not.

Lastly, this is a new one for me, "We recently had a dog come in here, and bit one of our staff, it must make it so hard on real groups like yours." *walks to table as we are chatting, and tells my dog to go under the table* "SEE, the fakes don't even ask their dog to go under, real service dogs ALWAYS go under." As much as I appreciated that she could differentiate between the fakes and real ones based on behavior, my dog cannot always safely sit under the table, or sometimes needs to be on the outside of an area (like the table). I have specifically had issues with her fitting under 2 specific tables at that restaurant and do not try to force her under those ones. When possible for EVERYONE'S SAFETY, especially TC's, I do have do go under the table. However, some restaurants really don't do a good job at cleaning under their tables so she often gets into food I'm unaware of, almost got cut by glass a few times, and just gets trampled on by those I am out with (on accident). It's a really tough balancing act, but again I do really appreciate that the waitress saw that she was trained differently than the average dog.

A side note/afterstory:

I go to the same salon every 3 weeks, and this past visit I had to come in but did not have my service dog vest on hand. They knew who we were and let her in anyways, much to the confusion of the 2 men in the waiting area. She basically acted the same, although she let husky brain take over while we were waiting a few times. I'm working on getting her to stop wandering a little, especially in familiar locations but as I can limit her movements and it does not interfere with her ability to do her job it is lower on my priority list of behaviors to either maintain or work on.

Questions? Answers? Words that occur?

Want to hear more? Ask me anything on my Tellonym! I will be answering everything when I return to streaming and making a post along with it!

[withered-rose-unbreakable-lotus]

Ohhh!!! So this is an interesting take that helps me get sth more. I watched a video of a doctor saying that sometimes when we have an ache somewhere and there is no physical proof why, like, let's say you have back pain but your back comes out ok in xrays, it might be related to past trauma and mental illness. So this doctor makes physicals exams to patients when they say they hurt somewhere but when he finds nth, he tries that out too, mentions past trauma and asks if his patients are willing to talk about this.

A few years back sth similar happened to me. I had very itchy ears which then turnt to pain and I couldn't tell why. Usually if my ears hurt, it was a warning for me that a cold was coming up, but the cold never came. So I went to an ear doctor (don't remember the exact name in English) and after several exams he asked me how I'm doing with anxiety. I said I'm ok I guess, but it can escalate. I sure feel like my anxiety only grows worse over the years but since it's there most of the time, I don't always notice it. Anyway after a short discussion he told me to start yoga or find some other calming technique, cause my ears hurt cause of that, and I kid you not, I did some yoga for a couple months and my ears stopped hurting completely.

So this video made me realize that any body pain with no apparent reason for existence can be related to mental illness or emotional trauma (not always but it is an option to check it out from that angle) and it's sad that not many doctors mention it. I had never seen a doctor bring this up before I went to that ear doctor and it had really surprised me like...there can't be no reason, did you check right, what if it is sth neurological or hormone-related thing but no. I just needed to stop for a moment and let myself fucking breathe cause I live in a stressful environment and it's up to me to shelter myself from it once a while and calm myself down.

[wishingonshootingstarsx]

I found my dad last night on the ground

I heard the door creak from upstairs

and then the dog began to bark

I was worried it was a burglar or someone there to do us harm

I yelled for my mom and went downstairs

the front door was open--it’s never open

but I couldn’t see anything outside.

My dad was not in his chair

he was not on the couch

he was not there

My mothers phone rang

a call from two good sameritans who had my father 

he was right outside.

he was on the ground

laying there

face down

not moving

under a blanket from the woman’s car

his left shoe was off of his foot

there was a smashed bottle of kettle one vodka

and blood

so much blood.

He was slurring 

they said he couldnt get up

they called an ambulance

the EMTs rolled him over

i put on his left shoe

and tried not to look at his bloodied face

they put him on a stretcher

he asked for the blanket back

they put him in the ambulance and I had to give them his information

First name. Last name. spelled out--not spoken, because no one ever gets it right. 

I rattled off the names of his medications. 

The antidepressant he told me he stopped taking cold turkey

The diazepam that’s only as needed for anxiety but I didn’t know if he took it today

The antibiotic that is supposed to clear up what we thought was prostate cancer but hopefully isn’t

and the diabetes medicine I don’t know the name of. 

I saw my breath in the cold with each word and felt the goose flesh pebble my legs

The EMTs asked me if I wanted to ride along 

but my mom can’t drive

and I was in shorts and I didn’t have my phone to call Max

I wanted to run back inside but I didn’t want them to waste time not treating him.

So I let them go. 

I made sure to be gracious. to thank the EMTs for helping him

On Christmas night

I did not want them to see him as a drunk. 

I wanted them to know that he mattered to me before they drove away.

After I hopped out of the ambulance, I allowed myself one minute to cry

then I sucked  

In the hospital they told us they didn’t know how long he was out in the cold, laying on the ground, in a puddle of vodka and his own blood

 but his temperature was dangerously low

I could see his eye then--starting to swell and bruise 

smaller cuts nicked his arms and hands.

The xrays were good but the CT was worrisome

He had a subdural hematoma--blood in his brain

I told him earlier that night that my worst fear was that he’d crack his head open and die

Now he did 

but drunks have nine lives

"There are no more excuses. I can’t think of any. I’m sorry I’m not the perfect father. I have a disease. I am going to go to this rehab in January. I just need to keep all of the balls in the air. You don’t understand. I’m okay. I’m sorry.”

When we took him home the next day, he was so weak he couldn’t make it up the stairs. He shook and vomited and slept. 

then he woke up the next day

put a hat over his nine face stitches and black eye

and pretended like 

it 

was

 all 

okay

I guess he found more excuses 

[jaymgates]

Antares Log - Travel

The collected posts from his journey out here.

So, my journey with Antares, which continues to be the definition of "interesting times":

Saw him on the New Vocations website. Fell in love. Submitted an application that day.

Vet took 3 weeks to send confirmation that they do, in fact, care for the horse Dylan owns.

Application finally confirmed.

Reach out to trainer handling his rehab. She says he's on stall rest for a hoof issue.

Several weeks pass. He gets off stall rest, gets turned out, I'm told he's going back into training.

I contact a ton of horse haulers. Only one gets back to me with a decent quote, which expires in a month.

He gets ridden once, comes up lame.

Two weeks more of stall rest, terror, vet visits, xrays, radiographs.

Eventually, "he got too excited after stall rest and hurt himself."

He finally goes sound again. Goes under saddle. Trainer has a week-long retreat, during which time I'm chewing my nails off.

The shipping quote expires on Wednesday.

I'm supposed to get my first video of him on Friday. On the following Monday, I message with a nervous "heeeyyyy, everything okay?"

He's fine, one of his stall mates did that magical thing horses do where it ripped a gash in its haunch and the trainer spent all day with that.

Get the video literally while I'm being tattooed. Manage, with one hand and no ability to move, to confirm I want him.

I expect it, given the timelines at that point, be a few days at least until anything more happens.

Ten minutes later, "Great, I'll send the contract." I am still being actively tattooed.

Sign the contract, post all sorts of "YAY!" things. Get a call from my grandfather that my grandmother is in the hospital for unknown reasons. (That got sorted out fine, but argh.)

Get a new quote from the hauler. Confirm timeline. Gas prices have gone down, yay, quote is lower.

Let the trainer know the timeline.

Talk to hauler. They have a semi, so getting him directly to the barn here is going to be hard. Can I pick him up in Chehalis?

A few stressed messages, and sure, we can come get him. Plus, it saves a big chunk of money.

A week of blissful peace, during which it starts to sink in that I have a horse.

Nagging feelings of concern linger, but everything SEEMS fine.

Monday, the hauler calls to get my card info. They mention they're having trouble setting up the NY to KY leg, but they're confident it will be figured out. I just won't have confirmation until a day or two in advance.

Contact trainer. Trainer needs specific dates to get his health certificate, without which, he cannot travel.

Contact hauler on Tuesday. Hauler can't confirm but gives me a couple of days it's most likely.

Trainer says she has a horse show the day he's likely to be picked up. Hauler is apologetic, but we'll work it out.

This morning (Wednesday), hauler lets me know they haven't been able to book him a ride because the Keeneland racehorse auction is this weekend and literally every major hauler on the East Coast is booked.

I flip out and light all the signal beacons.

The horse world is amazing. I literally get like thirty recommendations.

Two hours on the phone, everyone is booked, because it's the last minute, SHOCKINGLY.

Trainer, who by this point probably just wants me out of her hair, says to call one of the groups that turned down the hauler the first time.

Local hauler says they might be able to do it.

Call national hauler. They say that their truck leaves Wednesday, so if I can get him there by then, they'll make it work (he was supposed to get there Sunday night).

Call local hauler back. Local hauler says they'll call me back with a specific schedule quote.

Local hauler calls back, says they can't get him in til Wednesday.

Thank them, have a panic attack.

Call another recommendation. He's a lovely, sympathetic gentleman with a VERY New York Brooklyn accent which makes me think fondly of one of my adopted uncles, a former NYPD homicide detective I worked with for years, who was my first glimpse into how broken policing is.

Anyways, he commiserates with me for a few minutes and says he can't help.

I start to hang up.

Wait. Can they pick him up from Columbus? He's willing to go out of his way to meet them in Columbus...tomorrow night.

Call the national hauler back. Nope.

But wait! says national hauler. Truck doesn't leave til Wednesday night. Can I get him there Wednesday morning?

Call local hauler.

Nope, not by morning.

Local hauler maybe takes pity on my jaw-clenched "thank you I understand" response.

"Well, we could get him there late morning/early afternoon."

I call the national hauler. They're nervous, but that will work for them.

I IMMEDIATELY call the local hauler back, and jump on the opportunity. It's risky, because horses are fragile, and that's a lot of travel, but I can set him up with all the meds and supplements to keep him safe, and he's an experienced traveler.

We book everything. I get the dates, times, costs, stall size (he gets the big one for the first leg, just to make it as comfy as possible).

Everything is confirmed. I call the national hauler back, and let them know.

National hauler is surprised, but I point out that favors have been called in. They check the price I'm paying, which is...not cheap.

National hauler says "well, we have another horse that needs to go up to Stanwood that weekend, so we could take yours up for free to help offset the extra cost."

I confirm. Everything is good. Things are settled.

I post all the "thank you so much for your help!" statuses.

While I'm inside, updating Dylan, local hauler calls back.

I have another mild panic attack and forget voicemail is a thing.

I call back, get THEIR voice mail.

Leave a very stressed but polite message.

Remember voicemail is a thing.

"Sorry, i miscommunicated with the scheduler--" (caller speaks in that slow, Southern syrupy voice, which, it turns out, gives one plenty of time to have at least three panic attacks between the words "miscommunicated" and...) --"we'll actually be picking him up on the 19th and getting him there on Tuesday."

I hang up and stare at the phone. That miscommunication cost me an HOUR of phone calls.

Whatever. For the moment, he's booked to get to Kentucky on Tuesday, and Washington on Friday, and the barn on (I think) Saturday the 24th.

I am a wreck, but I'm so grateful for the equine community, which is a glorious trainwreck that is absolutely *terrifyingly* fast and networked when someone says "I know someone who needs help."

But seriously. The phone calls. I have literally made more phone calls today than I've made in probably most *years*.

I am so tired of phone calls. The drop-off update I need to send the national hauler is going in a goddamned email.

*

Trainer confirmed that Antares loaded up without any fuss this morning. He's currently on the New York to Kentucky leg. If all goes well, he'll spend tonight and tomorrow in Lexington and then, tomorrow night, be loaded onto a semi for a hard straight run from Kentucky to Washington. He'll switch trucks in Chehalis and, if everything goes right, make the last leg from Chehalis to Tulalip on Friday.

*

Jesus christ this is the stress train that never quits.

Everyone is FINE, but the hauler who has Antares right now just called from Ohio because some fucking asshole pulled right in front of her and a semi and slammed on his brakes. She was able to get stopped in the nick of time because her boss had sent her with the heavy-duty truck, but Antares got a little banged up and his leg is scraped up.

I just spent twenty minutes talking the driver down off of borderline hysteria because apparently she's never had this close a call in decades of hauling and felt terrible about it.

Just...DON'T FUCKING PULL IN FRONT OF TRAILERS AND SLAM YOUR BREAKS FOR FUCK'S SAKE. I suspect I'm going to have a full "what could have been" panic attack in the next few days about this because I've seen those pictures and this is one of my two worst nightmares relating to horses.

The good news is that she's absolutely in love with him. Even banged up and freshly traumatized, she said he stood incredibly calmly and gave her his feet when asked, didn't get spooky about his legs being handled, just did a "hey, that hurts" request to have his leg back when she was checking his wounds.

She said he's also incredibly sweet and friendly, hopped in the trailer with no fuss, and has been steadily working through hay - he's on his second bag already, and eating even though he was just nearly in an accident.

His previous owners and the rehab facility did a great job with him, and I'm happy to hear my assessment of his temperament so far has been correct. I think he's something very special...if I can get him here in one piece.

Also, he's apparently big enough to be a cozy fit even in a big slant trailer, so that helped keep him from getting too banged up.

I just...I really fucking want him home so this nightmare can end.

*

Antares made it to Kentucky about half an hour ago, finally. He's a little stressed and worried and asking the hauler for reassurance, but he's settling down and stretching out. He'll get electrolytes and free choice hay for the night, they'll check him out in the morning, and then he has a while to relax before the next leg.

I have promised to keep the hauler updated for the rest of the journey, too. This boy has quite the little network of people helping him along.

*

"No news is good news."

The truck with Antares and a bunch of other horses was scheduled to leave Kentucky an hour ago, and the coordinator (who seems to have hours as relentless and terrible as mine) promised she would let me know if anything delayed them.

I have not heard anything, so now I just...try to keep breathing.

He's a seasoned traveler. He's also injured, and stressed, and those things are hard on horses.

So now I stop pretending for a bit that I am a rational person who no longer believes in metaphysical woowoo and indulge in focusing every bit of good luck and safety I can conjure to get him through this last bit safely.

If it isn't real, it doesn't hurt anything. If it's even remotely a thing...I'll take every bit I can get, after the journey so far.

[lihikainanea]

An open call for advice from dog mammas

hey frenns!

As some of you know, I am the proud mama to a lil perfect Aussie bb who will be 2 in January. We’ve had some ups and downs but he’s just so fucking perfect.

Long story short he started limping a bit this past January, and his original vet was like “oh it’s hip dysplasia for sure” and was like, ready to wheel him in for a $30,000 surgery for titanium hips when he wasn’t even a year old. Needless to say, we switched vets pretty fast.

I’ve been seeing a new vet who is pretty fantastic and takes a very conservative approach to treatment. We have weekly “desensitization” visits where he just goes in and gets a shit ton of treats, gets pet by everyone, gets told he’s a very good boy--just to help him not be so nervous at the vet. His new doc is really fantastic and I love her.

His limp was intermittent--it would go away for a few months, and then show up again. Always on his right hind leg. In June, it became more present--after a very active day full of playing (he goes to a daycare twice a week), I notice that he’d lie down to nap and when he got up, he’d limp. We tried one week on anti-inflammatories, which did wonders--but came back when we stopped the meds. So we did another week--and the same thing happened.

His vet and I finally decided it would be a good idea to do some XRays to see what’s really going on, and it took a lot of convincing on my part because he had to be sedated and I hate doing that.

The X Rays showed, what the vet thinks, is a teeny tiny MCL tear. She referred me to an orthopedist to see my options.

Now, here’s the issue. The surgery to repair a small torn/completely ruptured MCL is major. They saw into bone. They use steel. The rehab is 3-6 months--and that’s like, no walking. NO WALKING. I live on the second floor, and my dude is an Aussie. He’s active, and I travel a shit ton. This is a major life decision.

But like, the first step is with the orthopedist, which we have an appointment September 21. And already, when I emailed my pupper’s file over, the doc got back to me and said “okay well don’t feed him the day of the appointment because I’m going to re-do the x ray, it’s not up to my standards.”

Um...No? FUCK NO?

I don’t want to do that--not only because it’s a fuck ton of money, but because I fail to see the point. The X Rays are two weeks old. I’m not re-doing them just to fit your standard--work with what you’ve got. The x rays are perfectly fine, and there’s 4 views. My dude, I ain’t redoing that shit.

But that, right there, makes me feel like an irresponsible pet parent. I want the best for my little guy.

But then also like...look, I’m not convinced on the surgery front. My bubba doesn’t seem to be in pain, and he only limps SOMETIMES--other times, he’s perfectly fine. And like, right now--okay, he’s at risk of arthritis if I don’t fix it, he limps and has some soreness when he’s too active.

And if I get the surgery? The side effect are....he’s at risk of arthritis when he’s older (because it’s SURGERY and they saw into BONE), and he’ll still limp and get sore if he’s too active because it’ll be the scarred tissue form surgery.

I don’t know. I fail to see the fucking point, but in saying that, I also feel like a TERRIBLE and irresponsible pet parent for potentially letting my doggo live with pain?

HALP.

[ador3him]

More more more cocky Frank pls!

Cocky Frank Part 7

pairing: frank x reader

warning: blood, violence, pain pills mentioned, swearing

a/n: okay so i think i might only do one more part after this. so send in more ideas omg 😭😭 also idk how casts work so like that will be a bad part on my behalf. anywayshsysys here you gooooo :')

y/n ran out the bus door, running straight past frank away from the bus. she kept running, to no where in particular just away from them. far away. she was overcome with so many emotions, she hated it. she couldnt control herself, she was angry, relieved, and happy all at the same time.

y/n ran up to a brick wall and punched it a couple times. the brick grazed her knuckles making dots of blood erupt from them. tears started pouring down her face. fustration tears. she didnt even know why she was angry. maybe because frank spent so much time annoying her and then turn around admitting his feelings. shouldnt she be happy, shes always had some sort of attraction toward him.

she got off the ground and walked further away from the bus. her knuckle was throbbing, blood was running down her fingers. she tried to open her hand from the fist she had made but she couldnt. the pain was unbearable.

"fuck," she whispered to herself.

"fuck!" she screamed kicking a nearby trash can.

she didnt know what to do. what could she do. she was in a completely unfamilar place, with a mostly likely broken hand and no phone. she sighed knowing she had to go back to the bus.

y/n walked the direction she came. mostly following the drops of blood she left until she got to the brick wall. which was only 3 minutes from the bus.

when she walked into the bus everyone look at her.

"what are you guys loo-" she began

"-are you bleeding?" mikey jumped up to help her.

"uh yeah i guess, hey dont touch it, it hurts, you fuck rag," she swatted him away with her free hand. in the corner of her eye she saw frank walk to the bathroom to get the first aid kit. he sat down infront of her.

"can i have your hand please?" he asked reaching for it. she place her hand in his.

"open it please," he avoided eyecontact.

"i cant, its broken or something," she muttered.

"what! why didnt you lead with that you idoit! cmon we have to go to the hospital." mikey ran to the bus drivers seat.

"you dont know how to drive mikey," ray said shoving him out of the drivers seat and into the passengers.

10 minutes later they arrived in the ER, thankfully it was almost empty.

"hey, i cant really open my hand and its in a lot of pain." y/n said to the girl at the desk.

"mhm yeah, whats your name,"

"y/n y/l,"

"okay y/n i can get you into the xray room... now actually, through that door to your right. you sir are welcome to go with her." the lady said referred to frank behind me.

"thank you," y/n said walking toward the xray room. frank followed, opening the door her making sure she didnt move her hand.

"y/n y/l, possible broken hand?" the doctor asked. she nodded in response sitting down next to the xray machine. the doctor guided y/n through everything they had to do before sending her and frank to the next room. they sat there in silence for a bit.

"what did you do?" frank spoke, barely audible.

"i uh punched a brick wall," she replied not looking up.

"that was stupid," he chuckled lightly, she just hummed in response.

"miss y/l, looks like you will be getting a cast," the same doctor from the xray room said.

"its broken?"

"yes, in two different places, on the pointer knuckle and on the middle finger. really did some damage, come here ill stary the casting," he spoke motioning to his little casting area.

after the cast was applied y/n was giving some pain meds and sent away. when they entered the waiting room everyone got up.

"jesus took you long enough," gerard groaned.

"it was 1 hour chill out," frank snapped.

"okay damn i was joking," gerard muttered walking to the door with mikey and ray.

"hey, when we get back can we uh talk," frank asked finally making eye contact. y/n felt butterflies erupt in her stomach. she just nodded.

[peterparkers-bad-youtube-apology]

The Sanguine Web - Part 1

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy this, it is the first part of my 100 follower special, the other parts are coming shortly. I’ve been really wanting to a Hanahaki fic for awhile so here it is. I also want to do some different soulmate au’s so those will be coming soon! Love you guys so much xx

Warnings: Angst, mentions of death and blood

Summary: You try to figure out how to tell your friends your sick

Prompts

Masterlist

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(y/n)’s pov

“I know this diagnosis is scary, but we’ve got a quite few options now,” Dr. Shaw smiled, though it felt a little backhanded, “Not, the only way we can guarantee your safe recovery is removal of the infection, but the good news there are plenty of doctors in the city who know how to perform the surgery so it wouldn’t take us very long at all to get you in. Alternatively, having your feelings requited will lead to the infection dying off on its own, or, you can try to resolve your own feelings. If you’d rather pursue one of those then a good first step is talking to them, as scary as that may be.”

“Okay,” I have to let everything soak in for just a minute, “Is the surgery risky?” “The actual surgery is very safe, though it will lead to the removal of your feelings for that person. The only real risk is the chance that it prevents you from falling in love in the future.”

“What are the chances that happens?”

“It’s about fifty fifty, and unfortunately there isn’t really a way for us to tell if that will be you, it’s just a risk we have to take,” she clasps her arms in front of her, “I’m not asking you to decide today, you’ve caught this very early so we’ve got a bit of time to figure things out. Until then I can recommend a therapist who specializes in Hanahaki’s, and there’s some antibiotics I can prescribe you that will help slow the infection.”

“Okay, thank you,” I swallow the lump forming in my throat, “I think maybe I’ll try and talk to him and work it out that way.”

She nodded, “Okay, most patients opt to try that first. We can still get you into surgery later if that doesn’t work out.”

“How late can I opt in?”

“Up until the infection starts spreading, once it’s outside of your lungs the surgery won’t do anything. However, if your feelings were to change at that point or your feelings are requited, there is still a chance you’d be able to pull through,” she began scribbling things onto a notepad, “That’s still far off right now, but this disease it unpredictable, so we’ll need you to come in every week for blood work and xrays. We’ll monitor everything very closely so we’ll know if we start getting close to the point of no return so to speak.”

“Alright, I guess straight to the pharmacy then?”

She nodded, “Good girl, and you call us if you need anything. If things feel like they’re accelerating or you start coughing up a lot straight to the hospital okay?”

I nod, “Okay, thank you.”

“Of course, I’ll see you next week.”

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I took the subway to the pharmacy stuck in an odd state of numbness. Part of me wanted to cry, or scream, but I just didn’t do anything. I’m in shock until the woman behind the pharmacy counter begins speaking to me.

“Alright sweetheart what can I do for you?” “Just getting this filled,” I hand her my prescription with a forced smile.

She takes the paper, squinting at it before frowning, “Oh my…” she types a few things and sighs, “I’ll be right back,” I drum my fingers nervously on the counter while I wait for her to return, finally she does carrying a little white bag, “I know this isn’t totally appropriate but I know they only prescribe this for one thing and…” she trails off for a second, starting to blush, “Well my girlfriend had Hanahaki’s too, and she was really scared, but she ended up telling me how she felt and it was great, she recovered just like that,” she offers me a sympathetic smile, “I know this is hard but you should talk to them, I’m sure whoever they are, they’ll at least want to help.”

It’s sweet of her to say, so I thank her and shove the bag in my purse on my way out. I’m sure Peter would want to help, but he’s with someone else, and they love each other. I don’t get to confess and clear things up and live happily ever after. I have to move on, it’s the only option for me. I’m not getting that surgery and risking never falling in love again. That’s not fair. Just because I fell for the wrong person this time I have to never love again? Or die? 

I’m tearing up when I get home, and unfortunately everyone is already over. 

Betty beams at me from the couch, “Hey, how’d it go?”

“Good,” my voice shakes a little, “They think it’s just, um, allergies. I’ve got some pills that should start clearing it up.”

She nods, though all of them look a little concerned, “You’re gonna be okay then right?”

I lie through my teeth, “Nothing life threatening.”

“Okay…” she seems to buy it, but I’m sure she’ll end up drilling me on it later, “You wanna join us then?” “Sure, just, uh, give me a second,” I retreat to my bedroom, dumping my purse and jacket before clutching myself tight. I just want to cry, but I have to wait, everyone’s going to know something is wrong if I try to hide out.

I return to the living room after consoluling myself for a minute, taking a seat besides Betty on the couch, “We ordered pizza,” MJ smiles, “I got that veggie one I was telling you about.”

“Hope it’s good,” I bite my cheek, I feel guilty even talking to her.

“It’s amazing, you’re gonna love it,” she insists. 

Betty’s eyes bore into me suspiciously, “Are they really sure it’s just allergies?”

I nod, “Of course Betty, I promise I don’t need a lung transplant or something.”

“Are you sure?” she presses, “There was blood.”

“Blood?” MJ raises a brow.

Betty nods, “Yeah, she was coughing up blood last night, that’s why she even went to the doctor. It seemed worse than allergies.”

“My throat was just dry,” I try to explain, “I promise I’m fine, it’s just something in the air right now.”

“Okay,” she lets up, “But if you do need a lung transplant I’ve got you.”

“And maybe if you give (y/n) one of your lungs you two will get some sort of psychic connection,” Ned interjected, “I bet they’d make a tv show about you guys.”

Everyone starts laughing, and for the first time that day I let myself glance up at Peter. He’s so pretty, and so is his laugh, but before I can appreciate either of those things I start coughing. It’s an almost instant reminder that I can’t do that. Something tickles in my throat so I quickly stand up.

“Are you okay?” Peter frowns at me. I nod quickly, “Just need some water,” I cover my mouth with my hand as I struggle to pour myself some water. 

I bend over the sink to make sure none of them can see the petal I cough up. I know it must be a begonia. Last finals week was really stressful for me, and in the middle of the week Peter had dragged me away from the cave I was studying in to relax for a while. He took me to this cute little market and bought me some flowers while we were out, begonias.

I shove the petal down the garbage disposal and wash away the blood, I’ll have to figure out what to do when I start coughing up more, full flowers too. 

“Are you sure you're good?” Betty questions when I stand back up, I swear she has xray vision or something. 

“Yeah, better now,” I take a big swig of my water, “I’ll be good as new in a few days.”

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“Make yourself comfortable,” Dr. Morrison picks a notebook up off her desk. She seems very nice, I just hope she’ll be able to help me work through some of my feelings, “I’m really glad you came here, therapy can be scary, especially in your situation, so coming here is already a step in the right direction.”

“Thanks, I’m still a little nervous, but anything to help.”

She gives one kurt nod and glances down at her notepad, “Absolutely. I’d like to know what your intention is here so I can know how to help you best. Do you intend to get surgery?” I shake my head, “No, I’m not gonna get the surgery. I want to just try and move on.”

“Alright, is this person aware of your feelings?”

I shake my head, “No, he’s with someone else so that isn’t really an option for me.”

She nods, “Okay, can I ask his name?”

“Peter.”

“Peter,” she repeats, scribbling a few things down, “Are you two close?”

“Yeah, he’s my best friend.”

“Is he aware that you're sick?”

“No, I haven’t told anyone yet.”

“Why’s that?”

“I know they’d ask who and I don’t know what to tell them yet, and it’s still new. I mean I want to tell them eventually, but I think I still need some time.”

“Of course, you need to process everything first, that’s perfectly reasonable. I do encourage you to tell them though, having a good support system is going to help you feel a lot better, and you can always let them know you just don’t feel comfortable telling them who it is.”

“I will.”

She smiled, “So, what do you like about Peter?”

I blush, “Everything I guess, he’s smart and he’s funny and I always feel really good when I’m with him. I don’t know, we just kind of click.”

“You two spend a lot of time together?”

I nod, “Yeah, we hang out all the time, I probably see him more than my actual roommate.”

“How would you feel about spending less time together?”

“He’s my best friend, why would I do that?”

“Separation is going to help you move on, I’m not saying stop being friends or avoid him, but giving yourself space from him is going to be good for you.”

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I feel like therapy went well, I feel more hopeful when we finish, although I’m definitely tired. She told me the goal is to get me really comfortable with my feelings so I can move on. I decided to set myself a goal afterwards, I want to tell Betty before my next session, a week from today. I can’t hide it from her for too long anyway, we live together after all, and she’s already convinced there’s something more than just allergies going on. I debate even telling her when I get home, but Peter and Ned are in the living room, and I’m still not sure I’m ready.

“Hey,” Peter smiles to me as I walk in, “How was work?” “Fine. I didn’t realize you guys were coming over.”

“Oh yeah, we’re going to the movies. You should come, MJ is gonna meet us there.”

Dr. Morrison said separation is good, and I don’t really want to be their fifth wheel anyway.

“I think I’ll stay home,” I clutch my purse nervously, “Thanks for offering though.”

His lips pulled to a slight frown, “You sure? MJ picked some weird art film, it’d be more fun if you came.”

“Yeah, work was actually pretty tiring and I still have a bit of homework…”

“Okay,” his cheeks just barely dust pink, “Next time then?”

I nod, “Of course, you guys have fun,” I scurried to my room as quick as I could.

I don’t know what exactly made me start crying, I mean I’ve cried every night this week so maybe it’s just the overwhelming feelings again, but I think it was Peter. I don’t want to have to pull away from my best friend, I just wish I loved him the way I was supposed to. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, it just makes me feel gross. 

I end up hiding out until they leave, then I return to the kitchen for some hot cocoa and comfort food. I calm down a bit, but I’m still a little teary eyed when I pass out on the couch. I don’t know how long I get to sleep for, but what ends up waking me up is the front door opening. I peer through groggy sleepy eyes, expecting to find Betty, ready to scold me for not going to bed.

What I didn’t expect was Peter. 

He bent down beside me and set a hand on my cheek, “Wake up sleepy head, I know this couch isn’t that comfortable.”

“Hey,” I yawn before rolling onto my back, I push my arms up in an attempt to push the sleepiness out of my body, “Where is everyone?”

“Betty is back at mine and Ned’s, I came by just to talk to you, but it can wait,” he smiles and offers me a hand, “Come on bunny, I’ll take you to bed.”

I shake my head, “I’m up, what did you want to talk about?”

He blushes, “Let me help you to bed first.”

“I’m a big girl Peter, I can put myself to bed. What’s on your mind?”

He sits besides me with a sigh, “It wanted to make sure you’re okay, you’ve just seemed a little off this week.”

“It’s just allergies P, I’ll feel better in no time.”

“I don’t think so,” he frowns, “I don’t think allergies forget how to talk to your best friend.” 

“I didn't, I just don’t feel very good.”

“Are you sure? You know you can tell me if you’re upset with me or something…”

I laugh, “Peter why would I be upset with you?”

“I don’t know, you’ve just seemed off every time I’ve seen you this week.”

“Well it’s not you Peter, I just don’t feel very good. If I were upset with you I would just tell you.”

“Okay,” he accepts my answer though he doesn’t seem totally satisfied by it. Who am I kidding? It’s Peter, he always knows when something’s up. “You know I’m always here for you right?”

I nod, “I’m here for you too Peter.”

He wraps an arm around my neck and kisses the top of my head, “We could hang out for a little while, play some games or something.”

“I’m still pretty tired, I think I’m just gonna go to bed,” I blush as I stand, “Maybe some other time.”

His smile falls but he nods, “Okay, but it has to be soon. I miss hanging out.”

“Soon,” I agree, “I miss it too.”

He stands and pulls me into a hug, placing another kiss on the top of my head, “I’m sorry about whatever’s going on, you know I love you tons.”

It takes every ounce of my willpower not to burst into tears, to not break down and just tell him the truth. I can’t though, I know I can’t. It’s not his fault he doesn’t love me the way that would fix everything, he loves someone else and I want that for him, even if it makes me jealous, even if it kills me. I just want Peter to be happy. 

“I love you too.”

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This morning Betty nearly caught me tossing a petal out the window, making it very clear that I’ll have to tell her soon. I’d much rather tell her than have her just find out, I just don’t know how. I think I should just sit her down and tell her, but I just want to sugar coat it somehow, make it seem better than it is. I’m trying to figure out some way to do that when I get called up to the pharmacy counter. I barely even realize I know the girl behind the counter this time. Adeline, MJ’s roommate.

“Oh hey,” she smiles to me, “Are you okay with me filling your prescription? I can totally grab someone else.”

I know she’ll know if I let her fill the prescription, it’s a little scary, but there’s enough separation between us that it feels okay, like a warm up.

“I don’t mind,” I smile back, “Just don’t tell everyone about the pills I’m popping.”

She laughs, “I’ll keep it to myself,” she turns to her computer, typing away before squinting at the screen, then it seems to hit her, “(y/n)...” she turns to me with a frown, “Do you?...”

I nod, “Yeah, but like I said, don’t tell anyone.”

“Of course,” she pursed her lips, “I’ll be right back.”

It was worse than I thought, Adeline and I aren’t super close, we get along, but we never hang out outside of group get togethers or parties. I didn’t expect her to look so upset or concerned, I thought she’d just tell me she was sorry, that she hoped I got better. It makes me scared of how everyone else is going to react.

“Here you go,” she frowned as she passed the little white bag to me, “You haven’t told anyone?”

I shake my head, “Not yet.”

“Really? Not even Betty, o-or Peter?”

“No one, I’m going to, just kind of figuring out how.”

She nods, “Yeah, I can’t imagine. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, I’m gonna get better, it’s just a little scary for now.”

“Of course,” she smiles, but it’s one of those sad smiles I have a hard time looking at, “I, um, if there’s anything I can do just let me know. I could help you tell everyone,” she blushed suddenly, “When you’re ready of course. Just, uh, maybe it’d be easier to get it out of the way all at once you know?”

“Thank you.” It’s not a bad idea actually, maybe it would be easier than telling everyone individually. Then I just have to explain it once and answer all the questions once. I don’t have to answer all the questions over and over. It might balance out the reactions too. “That might be nicer actually, and you could probably help explain the medical stuff a bit more.”

She nodded, “Yeah, definitely, I mean do it however you need to, but if I can help in any way just let me know.”

“Thanks Adeline, I’ll think about it,” I give her an awkward little wave as I walk away.

I start making a pros and cons list in mind, weighing both of my options to try and figure out the best way to go about this, of course my thoughts are then interrupted by a phone call. Peter.

He’s been trying to get together, and this time I really have been avoiding him, following the advice of my therapist. I don’t know if it’s helping, I think about him just as much, the thoughts are just sadder now, but it’s what I have to do. My therapist knows how to get me better, and I have to get better or I’ll never get to see him, or anyone. It would be so much easier if I could just tell him that, I hate lying to him. 

“Hello?”

“Hey bunny,” he sounds chipper as ever, “How are you?”

“Good, how are you?”

“Well I’m okay right now, but I would be a thousand times better if you came over and helped me study?”

“I can’t, I’m sorry,” I glance around me, trying to think of something, “I have to go grocery shopping.”

“How about I come help you then?”

“I thought you needed to study?”

“I do but,” he pauses for a minute, “I know you said you aren’t avoiding me, but you know it went from not talking as much to suddenly we haven’t even seen each other in days.”

“Well why do we need to hang out all the time anyway? Just go hang out with MJ.” 

I don’t mean to sound as angry as I do, I’m just so frustrated. It’s not easy keeping this all to myself.

He stays quiet and then sighs. “You’ve been acting weird since you went to the doctor, I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on. I’m worried about you.”

“Nothing’s going on Peter,” I frown and wrap an arm around myself, “I’m just busy today alright?”

“You’re busy everyday.”

“I’m not, I’m just busy right now…” I sigh and hang up, I just don’t really know what to say to him.

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After my awkward phone call with Peter I decided it would be best for me to tell everyone at once. I just need to get it out of the way, rip the bandaid off. So I texted Adeline, and she proposed that she and MJ would have everyone at their place to hang out today. She said it was gonna just be dinner and some party games, and everyone agreed to go. I told Betty and Ned I’d meet them there so I’d have a bit of alone time to get ready. I wanted just a bit alone just to prepare what I’m going to say and everything, I want this to go well. I want to walk into therapy tomorrow and tell her all about how I told my friends and I have this amazing support system.

A coughing fit interrupts my attempt to hype myself up in the mirror, it’s much more violent than they have been. The petals tickle a bit, and there’s usually a bit of blood, but it’s never like this. As a bit of blood splatters in the sink I hear what I assume is Betty coming back to retrieve some forgotten item. I kick the bathroom door closed and hope she just ignores me. Instead the door almost instantly starts creaking open.

“I’m fine!” I lean over the sink, trying to cover it with my hair, “Just give me a second!” I choke on my words.

The hand that’s set on my back is distinctly not Betty’s, “Jesus Christ are yo-” Peter stops mid sentence, just as the full flower falls out of my mouth, followed by a streak of blood. The full ones are much harder to cough up than the petals.

“I’m fine,” I quickly try to think of someway to explain this, “That was just in my hai-”

He seizes my wrist as I attempt to turn on the sink and wash away the evidence, “Did you cough up that flower?”

I flush, “Did you break into my house?”

“Betty gave me her keys so I could pick you up and figure out why you’ve been avoiding me! Now tell me what the hell is going on!” he demanded in the most concerned, Peter-like way he possibly could. 

I take a deep breath, glancing at the mess in the sink before I finally answer, “I have Hanahaki’s disease.”

His eyes dart between me and the sink, seeming to debate his next words carefully, “How long have you known?”

“About two weeks.”

“Were you even going to tell me?”

I nodded, “I was going to tell everyone tonight.”

He dropped my wrist and pushed a hand through his hair, I couldn’t even look him in the eyes, “W-Well it’s not that bad right? I mean there’s surgery, a-and I’m sure if you just talk to him he probably feels the same way.”

“He’s with someone else Peter, he doesn’t feel the same way.”

“That doesn’t mean he doesn’t also love you.” When I finally did meet his eyes they were glossy, and his cheeks were red.

“He doesn’t Peter, I just have to move on.”

“I’m sure he does, just tell me who and we ca-”

“I’m not telling you who he is. This isn’t his fault and I don’t want anyone to blame him or make him feel bad about it.”

“It is his fault!” he snapped before sighing, “Okay fine, you don’t want to talk to him, but there’s still surgery right? I know surgery is scary but this one’s pretty safe isn’t it?”

I nod, “It is, but there’s the risk of me not being able to love anyone again, so I’m not getting the surgery.”

“What?”

“I’m not getting the surgery, I’m just going to have to move on.”

“Okay but if that doesn’t work you’re going to get the surgery right?”

My cheeks dust pink as I shake my head, “No.”

His jaw is locked, his whole body tense, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him that angry. “You have to get it.”

“I’m not getting the surgery Peter, but you don’t need to worry about me, I’m gonna move on and get better.”

“Are you kidding me?!” he snaps, “Telling me you’ll get better isn’t good enough! I understand if you want to try and move on first, but if that doesn’t work then you’re getting that surgery.”

“I’m not getting it at all Peter.”

“So you’re just going to die?!” his bottom lip started quivering, it startled me, I didn’t expect anyone to cry, “I’m not going to lose you just because some asshole doesn’t love you back! It’s not fair and I’m not letting it happen!”

“It’s not your choice Peter,” I hug myself because I have no idea what else to do, “Nothing is going to happen to me, I’ll be able to move on and I’ll be just fine. But, if for some reason that doesn’t happen, I really need you to respect my decision on this.”

A couple tears fell down his cheeks and he shook his head, “You cannot ask me to just sit back and watch you die.”

“I’m not, Peter I am going to be fine. I’m on medication that helps slow it down, and I’m seeing a therapist who specializes in Hanahaki’s, she’ll help me move on and I’ll be okay.”

“That isn’t good enough. There’s no guarantee you get better that way and that isn’t good enough for me.”

“I’m sorry Peter, but I can’t give you any other answers. I’m not getting the surgery, even if that kills me. I know that isn’t what you want to hear, and I’m so sorry, but that’s all I can give you.”

A few more tears escape and he pulls me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around his neck and went to my waist. We stay that way for a second, he rests his head atop mine while I wonder what to do. I don’t really know how to make him feel better, I don’t even know if I can.

Peter is the one to finally break the silence. “Who is he?”

“It’s not important Peter.” “Yes it is! You think he’s worth dying over!” his voice cracks and I pull away. It’s really hard to see him cry, and I can feel my own eyes starting to sting at the sight. “You won’t even reconsider it for your best friend so I wanna know what’s so fucking great about him.”

I start crying while I realize I can’t ever tell anyone it’s him. I can’t risk Peter finding out, I don’t ever want to put that on him. “It’s not about who he is Peter, I just don’t want to risk never falling in love with anyone ever again. I know some people are okay with that, but I’m not, love is important to me and I don’t think I’d ever be totally happy knowing I couldn’t have that. None of this is on him, he’s a really great guy, I love him a lot and I know you would to. I don’t want anyone to blame him or be upset with him or anything.”

“Well I hate him,” he snapped, “And it doesn’t matter what you say about him. My mind is made up and I think he’s a dick.”

“You can feel however you need Peter, but he’s a good person, the best I know,” I wiped his eyes, “Can you please keep this just between us for me? I really need to tell everyone on my own terms.”

“I won’t say anything,” he promised before pulling me to him again, “Do you think we could just ditch tonight? I really want to talk, just us, and I want to know what’s going on. I need to be able to help however I can.”

 I nodded, “Yeah, I can make something up.”

He nuzzled his nose against the top of my head before pressing a kiss to the same spot, “Thank you.”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

I ended up texting Adeline, who assured me she’d cover for us so we didn’t have to stress out about it. Peter watched my every move while I washed the blood out of the sink and threw the flower out of my bedroom window. Luck for me, he didn’t notice what kind of flower it was, or at least he didn’t comment on it. Actually he just sat on the edge of my bed, honestly I think he was just too caught up in his own thoughts to actually process what was going on. 

“So, did you have some questions?” I asked as I closed my window and took a seat besides him. He nodded, “Yeah, a few. Do you have some kind of timeline of how it’s going to progress?”

“Well the medicine I’m taking will slow everything down, right now it seems like mine is slow moving and my doctor thinks I’ll have a few months, but it’s really unpredictable. Things could get worse very quickly, but she said that’s pretty unlikely in my case. The coughing will get worse and there will be a lot more flowers and blood, but physically I’ll be pretty okay until the end. As for healing, I have until pretty much the last moments for my feelings to be reciprocated or to move on.”

“What about the surgery?”

“They’re able to perform it until the infection moves outside of my lungs. If I get to that point they’ll hospitalize me, but it won’t get to that point.”

“How long would you have if it did?”

“A few days max, I mean they’ll do everything they can to keep me going as long as possible, but there isn’t much they can do at that point.”

He clenched his hands and gave one stiff nod, “You said your therapist specializes in this?”

“Yeah, and she’s really great, she’s going to help me move on and sort out my feelings and all that. She does a lot of work with patients and their families, and she’s got a really good reputation. I really like her so far.”

“Do you think it’s helping so far?” “Well I’ve only gone once so far, but I feel like I can do this. You can look her up if you want, her name is Raina Morrison.”

“I will,” he assured before taking my hands in his, “Are you going to see her again soon?”

“Yeah, tomorrow actually. That’s why I wanted to tell everyone tonight.” He blushed, “I mean it’s still good you told someone right?”

I nodded, “I think so. It was just a little more overwhelming than I thought it would be.” 

I’m a little nervous about seeing her now, I’m worried that telling Peter wasn’t good. She told me separation was a good thing, that it will help me move on, I’m worried I won’t be able to do that now. Peter’s really protective, he cares a lot about everyone, I really love that about him, and I don’t know if I have the heart to tell him that we can’t spend time together. I don’t even know what explanation to give him now.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have freaked out on you like that. I’m sure it’s not good for you.”

“It’s okay, having you guys know will be better for me, I need to have my friends support in this, it’ll make everything easier.”

“Maybe we can just love you enough that he won’t matter anymore,” the smile he gives is weak and forced, he still looks like he might cry again.

I don’t know what to say to make him feel better. I know he loves me plenty, it’s just not the right kind of love.

“Thank you Peter,” I just ended up hugging him again.

He held me tight against his chest, “If you wanted I could help you talk to everyone, even if you end up doing it one on one. Maybe it would be easier to have me there.” 

“It’d be nice to have you there,” I pulled away to keep from crying again, “You, uh, you’ll get it now if I’m a little evasive right?”

A look of confusion overcame his face, “No. What reason could you possibly have to avoid me now?” his bottom lip started quivering again, “You might not… No, I won’t get it, we should be spending every second together that we can.”

“I need alone time to process my feelings, that’s how I’ll get better.”

“Then I won’t say anything!” his cheeks had flushed again in an instant, “I can sit there and be quiet and do nothing, but I need to be there for you. I need to spend as much time with you as I can…”

“Peter you don’t need to start savoring your time with me or make all these precious memories or anything like that. I’m gonna get better,” I squeezed his hands tight and smiled to him, “And it would help a lot if you believed that too, because right now it kind of seems like you’ve already decided I’m going to die.”

“I do believe that, I know you’ll get better,” he sighed, “B-But what if something happens? What if you’re all alone and you just need someone? I should be here, I want to be here.”

How was I ever supposed to argue with that? I can’t tell him he can’t be here for me, I don’t want to tell him he can’t.

“Maybe we should watch a movie or something before we start crying again?”

He nodded and cleared his throat, “Good idea. Maybe something funny?”

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.”

We threw on some supposedly funny movie, but I wasn’t really paying attention. I don’t know if Peter was, but he seemed out of it too. We just sort of stared at the screen until everyone came back to my place. I had to get up from where I was laying with Peter and pretend I had food poisoning as Adeline told them. Really I just wanted to go to bed, the day had been extremely draining.

“Hey guys,” I smiled at them, doing my best to look sickly. 

Betty smiled sympathetically to me, “Hey, you feeling any better?”

I nod, “Yeah, I threw up a bit but I think I can just sleep it off. Don’t worry, Peter has babied me plenty.”

 “Well between that and the cough I think you need a little babying,” she wiggled a small container at me, “I brought you left overs for when you feel better.”

“I brought some for you too,” MJ added, flashing Peter a smile, “There in the car.”

“Thanks,” his cheeks dusted pink and I just prayed he wouldn’t give anything away, “I think I’m gonna stay with (y/n) tonight though, just in case she gets worse.”

“I’m sure she’s had enough of you hovering for one night Peter,” her smile dropped almost instantly, “I thought we were hanging out.”

I wonder if they’ve been fighting or something. A wave of guilt washes over me for avoiding Peter, for not asking if there was something he needed to talk about too. 

“We were together last night,” he frowned at her, “You know (y/n) and I haven’t hung out in awhile, and she’s sick, I should stay with her.”

“You two hung out all night and I’m sure her best friend and roommate is more than capable of making sure she doesn’t die in the middle of the night.”

Peter’s jaw clenches and I interject in the fear they may start arguing if I don’t, “Yeah, I mean thank you for taking care of me, but I’ll be fine. I’m probably just going to go to bed anyway, you should go hang out with MJ.”

His cheeks dusted pink and he nodded, “O-Okay, just as long as you're good…”

“I’m good,” I assured, “It’s been a long night, I really just want to get some sleep.”

MJ smiled, “See? You’re driving her crazy, just let the girl get some sleep.”

“I’m just taking care of her,” he snapped.

We were all quiet, Peter and MJ are always so mellow. I mean they act like they’ve been married for forty years, they don’t really fight. As long as I’ve known them they’ve just been… 

Stagnant I guess.

“Well she just said she doesn’t need to be taken care of so no need to smother her, right (y/n)?”

I just nod, “Yeah, I’m good. Peter go hang out with girlfriend, I don’t need to be babysat.”

He frowned, a small huff left his lips before he nodded, “Sure, whatever, let’s just go,” he gave me an awkward sort of side hug and called, “Text me!” before leaving with MJ, both seeming annoyed with the other.

Part 2

[xenospacebabe]

Broken Wings

Hawks drabble

A/N: So I imagine for some reason that regular doctors and surgeons are capable of treating Hawks to a fault. But when it comes to his wings, they’re a bit...lost?

Summary: After coping with treating injuries to his wings by himself, Hawks finds himself with a more serious injury than he can handle. He can’t open his wings, or fly. The pain is mind numbing. He finds himself breaking into an animal clinic for some help.

Warning: Broken bones. Mild language

HawksxReader

7am. The doors don’t open until 8:30, but you still had things to do from yesterday that weren’t even started. Clutching your steel tumblr full of coffee that’ll barely scratch the surface of your exhaustion, you stifled a yawn and crawled out of your car. Barely remembering to lock it. You always parked on the side of the building so as not to take up any spaces in front. The key missed the lock a few times before eventually sliding inside and turning to the side.

The moment you turned on the lights, a couple of dogs in the back already started barking, hungry for breakfast and ready to go home. Your veterinary clinic was modest in size, but it was always busy. It was your father’s practice before he retired and passed it down to you after finishing school. Now it was all yours. It was hard work, but your clients were loyal. Many of them have been around since the place opened almost 30 years ago. You were the vet that people would recommend to their friends who needed help and had struggles affording it. Your clinic was the one that everyone knew cared the most about patients rather than money. And it showed. While your profits were great, it wasn’t what you were concerned the most about.

After setting down your things in your office, you tied back your hair into a high ponytail and took a long drink of your “breakfast.” You looked at the white board on your wall, deciding which surgery from yesterday to start on first. Picking the cat spay, you headed towards the back to get started. Passing surgery and into the kennels, you found your patient and greeted her with a sweet voice and scratches on her cheeks.

“Good morning, Sadie. You ready, sweet girl? C’mon.” The cat whined tiredly as you scooped her into your arms to bring into the surgical room. But when you lifted your head and looked inside you screamed. Unfortunately, this spooked your cat and she bolted out of your arms to hide under the kennels.

“AH SHIT! Sadie! Sadie c’mere girl! Who are you?!” There sitting on your operating counter was a man. A shirtless man with enormous wings that nearly filled the small room. He was covered in decently serious lacerations and wounds that made the surface of his skin look like a blue, black, green, and purple water color canvas. He looked terrible with deep bags under his eyes. However, he looked at you through messy strands of hair that hung in his face with a tired but smug expression.

“Really? You don’t know who I am?” He said, his voice croaking out with a subtle groan of pain. Your eyes shifted from his, those golden pools that shined like the sun, to the massive crimson wings. They, too, looked to be in disarray. Feathers stuck out in random places, others crumpled, many painted in blood. However his left hung in a slightly abnormal manner.

“I’m sorry. You shocked me all of a sudden. You’re Hawks right? What are you doing here? How did you even get in? The doors were all locked.” As you finished your statement, a single red feather lifted in mid air and hovered, showing you its bent up quill. He picked the lock with the feather and locked it behind him.

“Sorry. I just-..mmgghh...I think it’s broken. And the clowns at the city hospital the commission would send me to aren’t capable of fixing it. I found you online, you do exotics, right? Birds and stuff?”

All the while he was explaining his situation, you were assessing his condition. The area that connected the wing to his back appeared incredibly swollen, and slightly out of place. Without thinking, you reached out to palpate the area causing him to immediately flinch and groan out loud.

“Sorry! Sorry. I’m used to my patients being-...well animals. But yes, I’m a small animal and exotics vet. There’s a couple birds I’ve been treating for a long time.” Now this time, as you were talking, Hawks had his eyes trained on you. He was listening to every word you spoke intently. “Some of them were my dad’s patients before he retired. Shows how old they can get.”

Hawks braced the cold steel of the table, crouching forward some. His skin seemed damp with sweat, the pain he was in must have been affecting his body temperature. You needed to act quickly if you were going to save his wing.

“Okay, so. I have to touch it. I need to get a couple xrays to see if we have any breaks and we’ll go from there. I don’t....all I have are sedatives for animals. Would that..?”

“It’s fine, ain’t no pain out there that I can’t handle.” He looked at you with a charming smirk, clearly flexing his pain threshold to impress you. Because he looked you up and down and liked what he saw. Even in those scrubs which were relatively form fitting but patterened in cartoon cats and dogs.

“I’m serious. This is really going to hurt. Are you-“

“I said I can handle it.” Hawks snapped, frustrated with the questions now. He just wanted the pain to stop. And besides, that cute look on your blushing face was too good to miss.

“Alright...well...first you need to help me find my cat that you scared off.”

“You mean this one?” Appearing in front of you held under the arms and the butt by a trio of feathers was your very angry, very sleepy cat. You sighed in relief and retrieved her into your arms. It took some settling to calm her down but you were a natural with all animals. It came so easily. She was comfortable in her kennel when you set her back inside and you felt your brain shift gears.

You first had to get your hands on the wing. Just to get a feel of what you were working with. You’d never seen such beautiful, red feathers before. Even though you saw parrots and other birds daily. These were just...breathtaking. But even the most beautiful wings didn’t stop the pain of broken bones. Hawks groaned behind tight lips when you gently palpated the swollen wing. Inside you felt the distinct break and slight crunchiness that accompanied it. The growling in his throat didn’t frighten you, after all, you dealt with aggressive animals day in and day out.

“Y-you almost finished there, Doc? Agghh...” He finally outwardly complained when you flexed his wing. Your hands were gentle but it was still nearly unbearable. Slowly and carefully, you folded his wing back down into its natural resting position.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I know it hurts. But thank you for holding still. Alright. Let’s do some xrays.”

After some struggling and repositioning, and many awkward brushes of hands and faces, you and Hawks were successful in taking some clear shots of what you determined was a broken wing. You didn’t notice his eyes on you as you explained it to him. The room was dark, illuminated only by the backlight box that made it possible to see the xray photos. But he was studying your face quite intently.

The space between your eyebrows crinkled a little when you would point to a specific spot on the xray in concentration. When you were quiet in thought, your tongue pressed against your cheek or you nibbled your bottom lip. The slope of your nose was accentuated by the pale shine of the light box to make it look like you had a cute button nose. Everything you were saying filled his ears but didn’t register as anything coherent. Eventually, you noticed.

“Hawks? Are you okay? Are you in pain?” Your voice brought him out of the trance he’d slipped into and he blinked rapidly to soothe his eyes. He hadn’t blinked once.

“Oh! Uh-...aheh...I’m fine. And please...call me Keigo.”

“Keigo?”

“Yeah, that’s my real name. Hawks is just my hero name. I can trust you, yeah?” He looked down at you with those eyes that you swore were glowing and swallowed harshly. Suddenly your throat was dry.

“R-right! I knew that. Keigo...so...like I said. The break is pretty clean. Luckily there’s no fragments or splinters that would make a problem.”

“So what can you do to fix me?” He lied, though, about being in pain. Broken bones were painful enough. But a broken bone that carried the heavy weight of his wing was absolutely agonizing. However, years of working as a pro hero conditioned him into hiding his pain from his enemies.

“Well, there isn’t a lot we can do. Other than immobilize the wing so the bone can heal back together.”

That got his attention.

“Immobilize? You mean I can’t-“

“Fly. Yeah. Not forever, but for a while. You’d have to come back every now and then for xrays so I can see how the healing is progressing. Given the size, I’d imagine...6 weeks?”

6 weeks? Of no flying? Hawks hadn’t spent that long out of the sky in so long that he wasn’t sure he remembered what it felt like to walk anywhere. You could see the panic in his eyes, beads of sweat formed on his neck and forehead. So you reached out and placed your hand on his shoulder to try and comfort him. He froze, not sure of what to do.

“Sorry! Sorry.” You quickly withdrew your hand. “That’s a habit. I always try to comfort the parents of my patients when they get difficult news.”

“No no, it’s-...you just surprised me.” He reached for your hand and returned it to his shoulder which was still bare. You hadn’t even realized he hadn’t redressed after finishing the radiographs. Your palm rested on his shoulder, his skin was warm to the touch. Your thumb gently stroked the end of his collarbone as you often did to support your clients. Beneath your fingers you felt the impressive muscle he had, in spite of appearing relatively lean, the muscle tone of his torso was quite defined. You imagined it had to be in order for him to fight villains and hold himself aloft while flying.

“I know it’s a difficult thing to hear. Your wings take you everywhere, I’m sure. But this won’t last forever, okay?” Something about your voice was so soothing to his fried nerves. But you’d never know because of how cool and composed he made himself appear.

“You don’t mind?” Hawks felt his anxiety dissolve when he thought about getting to see you next. It was a strange feeling, but he knew he could trust you. Those pretty eyes of yours really spoke volumes.

“Of course not. Now let’s get you taped up and on your way. I’m sure you’re exhausted, no doubt whatever broke your wing has you worn out.”

“Heh you can say that again.” There it was, his suave and too-cool demeanor. But you didn’t mind it. You were sure it was just a front he was used to keeping up. After all, you were just a civilian and he couldn’t afford to let anyone know just how weak he was.

You managed to tape and place Hawks’ wing in a makeshift splint. He refused any medication but you could tell by the way he white knuckled the table that he was in pain. A majority of the time, your patients were under anesthesia when setting broken bones. So you had to be careful this time about how heavy handed you were. By the time you were finished, you had less than 10 minutes to get him out the door before your techs and kennel attendants showed up for work.

“Come see me in a week. We’ll take more xrays and make any adjustments if you need them. Try to keep the splint dry, and rest. I mean it, Hawks.”

“Alright, Doc. I’ll be a good little bird just for you.” The winged hero winked at you as he slipped out the back door. You felt your heart leap into your throat and cheeks burn up as a result. Just as he disappeared, you heard the sounds of your employees coming in and quickly closed the door and composed yourself.

“Morning, Doc!” One of them said as you appeared in the exam area. You smiled and waved, reaching into the pocket of your white coat with your other hand. Something was in there. You looked inside and saw red. A feather. Unbeknownst to you, Hawks had slipped one of his feathers into your pocket. You couldn’t fathom why, but you felt a strange sense of comfort when you ran the tip of your finger along the center spine. It quivered when you did so.

“Ungh...” In an alley a block away, Hawks had to brace a brick wall with one hand. His insides trembled as he sensed you touching his feather. Even he didn’t know why he left one with you. But the thought of parting made him remarkably...sad?

“Get it together, Keigo...” He muttered to himself, shaking his head and continuing back home. It would be a long 6 weeks out of the sky, but at least he’d be able to see you.

A/N: This was longer than I anticipated omg. Does anyone think I should continue?

[dreamescapeswriting]

BTS Reaction || He Accidentally Hurts You [Request] [TW]

A/N: I Do not condone the hitting of a partner unless you know it’s play fighting but please know that there are mentions of slapping and hitting BY ACCIDENT within this reaction post. Love you All. Stay Safe.

PS: If there are some spelling errors I’m sorry, I wrote these while I was sitting in A&E with my mum lmao (Everythings chill she just had an xray)

Seokjin:

The fight all started over something so microscopic that it didn't even need to be a fight but it was being blown out of proportion. You'd gone out shopping with Jin, and Jimin for an upcoming event when you decided to go for lunch, everything was fine right up until the moment you had to pay. You wanted to treat them both so you took out your own card getting ready to pay when Jin decided to rush before you and do it. Something that would happen quite a lot but it was what he said when you got back to your shared apartment that bothered you and started the fight.

"I know how much you struggle with money." Those eight little words that made you feel like your heart had stopped, you and Jin didn't fight a lot but when you did it was always about money. He saw it as his right to pay for everything when you were out and about and maybe it was because of how he was brought up or he was just stuck in his ways but it annoyed you.

"I can pay for whatever I want, I work for a living I have a good job." You told him as you went to get changed thinking the subject would be dropped but it only continued and now you were standing in the bedroom yelling about how you didn't need his money,

"I looked after myself before you came along." You told him and he scoffed at you,

"Barely, you got kicked out of four apartments because of late payments." You hadn't even told him about them meaning he'd done a background check on you or had someone find out more about you.

"How did you know about them?" He fell silent and turned away from you not wanting to get into it but you wanted answers,

"Jin?" You questioned getting closer to him but he wasn't paying attention and turned around too fast catching your cheek with his hand and it connected making a loud slapping sound.

"Shit." You yelled stumbling backwards and sitting on the edge of your bed as you held your cheek, Jin was in front of you in a second holding your face and trying to see if you were okay,

"I'm so sorry! I didn't know- I wasn't- I-"

"Jin," You warned as he tripped over his words trying to talk to you, he frowned and turned your face towards the light. You had a giant red mark where his hand had come into contact with your skin, he began swearing in Korean as he studied your face before going to look for a cold flannel.

"Don't you dare say it's fine." He warned as he walked back into the bedroom and laid the wet cloth across your skin, you stared at him and he was tearing up it was the last thing Jin ever wanted to do.

"It was an accident Jin, I understand." He shook his head at you dramatically which made you giggle softly,

"You should be mad, you should make me sleep on the sofa." He told you as he held the cloth to your cheek but you could never do that to him, you placed your hand over the top of his and he relaxed a little more.

"I was too close, you didn't know. It was an accident." He groaned as you were being so understanding it was one of the many things he loved about you, you always tried to look on the brighter side of things rather than dealing with the negative.

"You sure you're okay?" He questioned you and you nodded at him,

"Positive." You whispered snuggling your face against the cloth and his hands trying to make him relax, you knew what he was like he would think about nothing but this for weeks to come.

"I love you." You whispered leaning up and giving him a kiss,

"Love you too." He kissed you back.

Yoongi:

"Fuck sake! You could have done anything but that was too much!" He yelled at you for what felt like the 100th time that day, you'd gone out together that morning for a breakfast date and the waitress was flirting with him. At first, it didn't really bother you because people would flirt with Yoongi all of the time but this time it annoyed you, whenever she would come over to the table she'd flirt with him and ignore you and it got to the point where it felt as though he was flirting back. Though it was something Yoongi would never do to you because he loved you a lot,

"She was flirting with you, what was I supposed to do?!" You yelled back at him, you'd been in the fight all day and it was starting to get late. All you wanted to do was go to sleep but he kept bringing up that ''accidentally'' pouring a glass of water over someone was wrong,

"Yoongi let's just go to bed, I'm tired." You told him but he didn't care, he was mid-rant and continued yelling at you, at that point you weren't even paying attention to the words he was saying. You'd been fighting all day about something that seemed so insignificant now but Yoongi wasn't going to drop it, he never could. He always knew how to hold a grudge but you didn't see why he was busy defending the waitress.

"I'm going to bed." You mumbled getting up from the sofa and walking past him, you'd just gotten to the door when his hand clasped around your wrist to stop you from moving, something he did a lot but this time it was tight.

"Yoongi?" You questioned but he began yelling again,

"We have to talk about this, you can't walk away just because you don't want to." He yelled at you but you were too busy trying to get his grasp off your wrist, it was starting to hurt and it was like he hadn't noticed that every time he yelled his grip would tighten on you.

"You're hurting me." You whimpered and that was all it took, the fight ended and he pulled you close to his body rubbing your wrist in a soothing motion and checking it over as you sat on the floor together.

"I'll get you some ice for it." He rushed off leaving you alone for a couple of seconds before returning with ice in a ziplock back and a tea towel to wrap it around.

"Yoongi it's fine." You told him as you moved your wrist around but it wasn't about that to Yoongi it was about the fact that he'd just hurt you,

"No it's not, I hurt you." He mumbled as he iced your wrist that wasn't even hurting anymore.

"You didn't mean to." You whispered and he let out a sniffle so you knew he was crying about it so you took his face in your hands and made him look at you.

"Yoongi, I'm fine, it's fine. It was an accident." He nodded at you and he pulled you into his arm looking at the small red mark where his hand had been. Your head rested on his shoulder and he kissed your nose,

"Can we go up to bed now? I'm tired." You whispered to him and he nodded letting you get up from his lap and walk up the stair first while he put the ice away.

When he came up the stairs you were laid in the bed in one of his basketball shirts and waiting for him to cuddle you to sleep, he smiled softly at you and went to get ready for bed happy that you weren't going to hold it again him and you weren't, you knew it was a genuine accident.

Hoseok:

"You don't even get it do you?!" He yelled as you walked through the front door of your apartment, you and Hoseok had gone out for a drink and you ended up dancing together but someone else came to dance with you. You were too busy having fun to notice that it wasn't Hoseok until you turned around to see Hoseok wasn't there anymore but was being pulled out of the club for punching the guy in the face.

"Hobi, I didn't know it wasn't you. I didn't even hear you hit him!" You yelled back at him, he'd been scolding you like you were some teenager that had snuck out in the night.

"He was all over you." He grumbled pushing past you angrily as he wanted to calm down but felt like he couldn't,

"His hands touching you and you just let it happen." You watched as he walked into the kitchen to get himself a drink of water to calm down with but you following him wanting him to face you and talk to you.

"You trust me though right? You trust me that I didn't know it wasn't you?" He shrugged your shoulders and you felt your heart shatter,

"You don't trust me?" He turned towards the sink ignoring your question and drinking from the glass in his hand,

"Hobi?" You questioned but he continued to ignore you,

"If you don't trust me then what's the point in us being together?! I trust you to be halfway across the world surrounded by beautiful women and yet-" You didn't get to to finish your sentence because the glass he was drinking from was thrown at the wall behind you smashing and sending glass shards around the floor and into the back of your leg. You didn't even notice that he'd hurt you until he was on the floor in front of you and trying to stop some blood trickling down your leg.

"Oh shit." You giggled because of the alcohol and sat on the kitchen chair but Hobi was rushing over to the sink and getting the first aid kit you kept under there.

"Hobi, it's nothing." You told him as you saw the tiniest cut on the back of your leg,

"It's not nothing, you're fucking bleeding." He was mad at himself for being able to throw something even in your direction, he didn't mean to but every emotion he had was heightened because of the drinks he'd been having all night,

"Hobi, I've done worse when I've been shaving." It was true, the cut was so microscopic it was nothing compared to leg shaving accidents you had one a week.

"I hurt you." He was crying now and you dropped onto the floor in front of him and cupped his face in your hands,

"We're both drunk, or tipsy. It was an accident and it doesn't hurt." You tried to tell him but he was never going to forgive himself as easily as you'd forgiven him.

"It's not an excuse Y/n, I could have seriously hurt you."

"But you didn't." You pleaded but he was moving away from you, you watched as he got the blankets and pillows out from storage and began putting them on the sofa.

"I'll sleep down here tonight," You raised an eyebrow at him,

"We don't fit on the sofa together, we tried remember?" He stared at you and shook his head,

"No, you're going upstairs."

"No I'm not. I won't sleep without you." You folded your arms across your chest and he stared at you, he knew how stubborn you were when it came to these types of things.

"Fine, but I won't cuddle you will." He said as he put the blankets back into storage,

"You will." You called out as you walked up the staircase to your bedroom.

Namjoon:

It felt like Namjoon had only just gotten back and now he was leaving again, you didn't want to spend the last day you had together fighting but that's exactly what was happening. He was standing in the bedroom trying to pack up his suitcase when you questioned him about when you'd see him again, an innocent enough question but he was stressed out enough without you questioning him more about something he didn't have the answers to,

"I don't know." He mumbled as he folded up clothes and put them into the huge suitcase, it was one that you'd had painted for him. It was a black suitcase with his album art on the front and back.

"Okay, well can I call you when you get to the hotel?" He groaned at you and you looked at the floor, you didn't want to annoy him but you wanted to know when you could talk to him again.

"Fuck I don't know Y/n! Will you just back off?!" He yelled and you stepped away from him going over to the desk in the room and going to study instead of getting on his nerves.

"Why do you have to go on so much?" He asked and you stared at him, you hadn't spoke since the last question and yet he kept talking, it was as if he wanted to start a fight.

"I was just asking when I'd seen you again, I feel like I haven't seen you much."

"You know how it was going to be when we first started dating." He mumbled to you and you nodded in agreement, you were over it now and you thought he was too.

"Do you want me to cook tonight or shall I order something?" The next thing you knew Koya was thrown in your direction and he hit you in the eye. He swore in Korean and sprinted to be in front of you, you held your hand over your eye and he slowly moved it away wanting to see if he'd hurt you,

"I can't open my eye." You groaned as he sat you down on the chair behind you and then left, he came back with a wet cloth and held it over your eye.

"I can't believe I just did that-"

"It was an accident, you're just clumsy." You giggled but he shook his head at you, you weren't supposed to just forgive him like this, you were supposed to get mad at him.

"But I hurt you," You took the cloth from your eye and opened it looking at him with a smile,

"It's fine. He probably just scratched it, it's okay." But your eye was already turning red and Namjoon felt terrible,

"He slipped from my hand, I just got annoyed...I've been stressed in the studio-" You kissed him to shut him up,

"Don't worry about it, take out it is though. I don't want to cook and you definitely aren't cooking for me." He stared up at you as you smiled down at him and he wondered how he ended up with someone so understanding,

"Joonie?" You called out and he was snapped from his daydream.

"Can we get pizza? Or do you fancy something else?" You questioned and he stared at you,

"We can have whatever you want, my treat." You nodded and went on the hunt for a menu while he continued packing up his bag.

Jimin:

Everyone knew how Jimin got when he was drunk, he was like a child who'd had too much sugar and was always jumping around the place which is why you were the sober one of the group that night. Namjoon helped you drag Jimin into your apartment and put him to bed where he promptly passed out,

"Thanks, Joon." You said as you looked up at him he sent you a smile and nodded, you and Namjoon had been friends for years, long before you and Jimin began dating and it was nice to have him as a friend still.

"Anytime," He told you bending down and wrapping his arms around you, as he left you noticed Jimin was awake and staring at you from the bed.

"You hug everyone like that?" He asked in a dramatic tone, he got out of the bed and looked out of the window to make sure Namjoon was gone.

"He's a friend Jimin, your friend." You reminded him but he didn't seem to care in his drunken state,

"Do you hug all of them like that?"

"Like what?" You questioned at what he was implying and he slurred over his words,

"Like you're long lost lovers." You raised an eyebrow at him and he nodded at you,

"That's what I thought!" He yelled and you shook your head at him walking away since he was acting like a child with you.

"Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you." He ordered grabbing your wrist and turning you around but he spun you around a little too quickly and you fell back into the wardrobe door hitting your back and crying out in pain. As soon as he heard your cry he sobered up and dropped to his knees in front of you,

"You okay?!" He panicked and you nodded at him and he reached to touch your back rubbing it gently and earning a hiss from you,

"You're not okay, you’re hurt.” He said in a rush as he realised just how hard he made you hit your back against the wooden door.

“Jimin, it was just a shock.” He helped you to your feet and you began walking towards the bed where he sat you down and lifted up the back of your shirt to see if there was any kind of mark from it,

“I’m such an idiot.” He grumbled but you pushed him to lay down so you could lay down beside him, it didn’t hurt you were just in shock from the impact and the door had brusied you the tiniest amount.

“You’re my idiot.” You whispered to him and he sighed at how easily you forgave him.

Taehyung:  

It didn’t take a genius to know that Taehyung was upset and mad about something but he wasn’t talking to you so you couldn’t determine what it was, he’d been like this all day. Whenever you’d ask him a question he would pass it off and ignore you or he would grumble something in reply and not explain anything.

“You have to talk to me sooner or later, we live together.” You reminded him but he kept his eyes locked on his screen as he type away at something, you were slowly starting to get more and more annoyed at him as time went on.

“Taehyung talk to me.” You pouted as you poked his cheek only for him to erupt into a rage,

“Why don’t you go and talk to Jin since he’s your best friend!” He yelled moving away from you on the sofa and going over to the kitchen, you stared at him wondering what he could have meant by that when it hit you.

“Tae, it was just a joke.” Jin had made a passing comment that morning about how close you and he were after spending the day cooking the day before but Taehyung didn’t like it.

“You’ve always found him better than me.” You rolled your eyes at how childish he was acting and that was all it took, he began yelling at you and you started yelling back, neither of you meant what you were yelling but it was just something that happened.

“Fuck off Tae! It was a passing comment, I love you not Jin.” But Taehyung brought up about the fact that Jin was your bias before you started dating and he kept talking about how much he knew you really wanted to be with Jin instead.

“Because you know I’m right, don’t you?” His hand swung backwards as he went to turn away from you and it came into contact with your cheek, the sound silenced the fight and both Tae and you stood there in shock. Your hand slowly went to your cheek and he panicked rushing over to you and checking you were okay,

“I didn’t mean to baby I’m sorry.” He forced you to look at him and you smiled softly at him, it didn’t hurt at all it was just the shock of him hitting you at all,

“It was an accident, I just swung out my arm and caught you.” He looked as though he was about to burst into tears so you shook your head at him reassuring him that you were fine and it was nothing but a little shock,

“I will never hit you again, ever.” He promised as he pulled your head against your chest rubbing the small of your back and kissing the top of your head over and over again.

“I’ll cook tonight, or we can order in. I’ll make this up to you.” You pushed him away when you felt a wet droplet roll down your back.

“Baby, it’s okay. I’m fine I promise.” He kissed you over and over again on the lips and he shook his head at you, he wasn’t going to let himself get away with it he felt terrible but you kissed him back and he relaxed a little more.

Jungkook:

Jungkook had been playing video games all morning and you were getting bored, it was supposed to be your anniversary and he’d clearly forgotten all about it which made you upset but you didn’t mind. You knew how busy he was and that this time was his break away from work and he didn’t need you weighing him down about it more so you forgot about it. Trying to push on with your day when you heard him screaming at the monitor, you looked up from the book you were reading.

“Stupid fucking game.” He grumbled before starting up another match and ignoring your looks from across the room, you were going back into the book when you heard him yelling again.

“Keep it down Kookie.” You giggled but he wasn’t in the mood, he turned to look at you and scoffed.

“Why don’t you make yourself useful and get me something to eat.” You stared at him from across the room book in your hand and your eyebrow cocked up to the side.

“Excuse me?” You questioned and he went back to ignoring you and concentrating on the game proceeding to yell about dying so much before you finally had enough and turned off the console.

“What the fuck?!” He yelled at you rushing to his feet and staring at you,

“What did you say to me?!” You questioned about before and he shook his head at how childish you were bing with him.

“I said to make me something to eat,” Then you began yelling back and forth at one another, you didn’t fight often which is why whenever you did eventually end up in a fight it was nothing but yelling and screaming before you finally both calmed down and talked about your problems instead of yelling about them.

“You’re such a child.” You yelled at him and he went to yell something back while flinging his arms in the air but the controller he was holding slipped from his hands and in your direction, hitting your wrist and making you curse loudly.

“Fuck Kook!” You yelled dropping your book and staring at the now red mark where the controller had hit you,

“Shit, I’m so sorry!” He yelled out, he’d calmed down from the fight and he rushed to your side turning your wrist over to make sure he hadn’t broken it or bruised you but it looked like it was just going to be red for a couple of hours,

“I didn’t mean to it just slipped” He told you as you held your wrist in your hand trying to ignore the throbbing pain that was coming from it.

“It’s fine,” You whispered back to him and he pulled you gently over to the sofa, both of you sitting there and talking about the problem, he was holding your hand the entire time and gently running his hands over your wrist in a soothing way to stop it from hurting so much.

Tagline: 

@yoongisdumplingcheeks @snowy-meowl @lynnthevirgo @kpopfanfictionhoes @yourguessisasgoodasminemate @btsiguess-kpop @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @rjsmochii @callingmyangel

[nursegracecreates]

S T A Y

I'm slowly catching up 😅 Pt One HERE

Tw: su!c!d3 mention (tears alert), drugs

Sally and I met at the park just like we'd agreed. He ran to me and enveloped me in the best hug of my life, lifting me a few inches from the ground and spinning in a tight circle before he sat me back down. His eyes were crinkled at the sides, my only indication of the smile he wore under his prosthetic.

"I missed you so much" Sally laughed as he released me.

"We texted the whole three days" I laughed, "but... I missed you too."

I really had. All I'd been able to think about for the past seventy two hours had been Sally, and our situation. He'd infiltrated my mind like a song you can't get out of your head, even after you hear it again, rendering me powerless to do anything but meet him. Of course, Sally made it easy to think about him, texting at all hours with pictures and videos from his reality.

And then there were the dreams. I hadn't told Sally about it, but I'm pretty sure I'd been dreaming about the Grace from his reality, her memories specifically.

Over the past three nights, sleep had come oddly easily to me. I would fall asleep as soon as I closed my eyes and the dreams would begin, playing out from Grace's point of view, making the immersion complete. The first time Grace saw Sally, weeks before they got paired up by their professor, Dr. Wardwell. The shy glances they stole of each other were enough to make you sick from the sweetness. I saw dates, hangouts, a night where Sally played the guitar and serenaded Grace in a smooth bass-baritone.

I saw more private moments, too. The first time Grace saw Sally without his prosthetic and she told him he was beautiful in his ruination, like the Coliseum in Greece. Babysitting Soda for Maple and Chug. The first time they made love, when Ash told Grace that Sally had been arrested. The sadness she felt as she visited Todd in the psychiatric hospital and as she watched Maple slowly become a feral thing, eventually having to cage her up like an animal, knowing Sally could save them if only they'd let him out. The nights spent with Ash and Neil pouring over law books as Neil explained things, trying to use his prelaw major to help. Grace slowly learning defensive law. Grace arguing with Ash before and after Sally's trial, not talking to her for weeks after. The reconciled after Grace's request to the governor for a stay of execution was denied, shortly after Grace uncovered that the governor happened to be a member of the DOG. Her growing hopelessness and depression.

I even got to experience Grace's last moments, the fact that she threw up the first handful of pills out of nervousness. And that the last thing she saw was a picture of her and Sally two weeks before the incident, smiling with Larry, Todd, Maple, Chug, Soda and Neil at the lake.

So maybe all of that also had a hand in it.

Or maybe it was how I couldn't help but smile when I looked at him, or how I waited for his texts. Thanks to Grace's memories, I had xray vision when it came to his prosthetic, knowing every scar and line on his face. He was beautiful, I agreed, and I could tell he still would be without the scars. And he didn't even know it. Maybe it was the way my heart pitter pattered when he held my hand or if he looked at me too long, his sapphire gaze drawing me in like drowning pools every time. We spent spans of minutes lost in each others gazes as we looped around the park a few times.

"Can I see your house?" Sally asked, "It's pretty cold out. And you know you always get a head cold if you stay out in it too long." I opened my mouth to suggest the diner or maybe the cafe across town, but Sally cut me off, "Plus, we can talk more freely there."

He had a point. Besides, who was I to quibble about personal space? I'd dreamed about Grace and Sally trying to have quiet sex so Todd and Neil couldn't hear from the living room, even though the radio was blaring.

"Sure" I said and Sally started pulling me to my car. He excitedly opened the driver door for me, and then raced around to the passenger side, practically ripping the door open before hopping in and slamming it behind him. I got in and laughed as we buckled up, "Excited, are we?"

The tops of Sally's ears pinkened as he nodded, "Your place is always so cool. Do you have Olivia by chance? And Punky? You got them to help picked a hairless breed because they have fewer teeth that aren't sharp... And because the Aztec's thought they were the guardians of hell."

I smiled fondly, nodding and said, "My chupacabras" as Sally said "Our chupcabras" and I had to fight not to look at him I pulled into traffic, "Yeah, I have them. But Olivia is an old lady, twelve."

"She always is. She was older when you adopted her and she died while I was prison. You gave Punky to your friend, Crow before... Well you know."

The silence was heavy as I drove the short distance home, "She couldn't have known" I said quietly and Sally nodded.

"I know. No one was expecting me to live."

I pulled into my parking spot and turned the car off, "Well, here we are!"

Sally flew out of his seat, slamming the door to stand in front of my modest white stone bungalow. I walked up next to him just in time for him to stride up onto the porch. I watched as he looked around for a moment, before picking up a flower pot with last summer's dirt still in it. He picked up my key and let himself in, replacing the key and pot. He could've picked any of the six sitting there, and I had a feeling it wasn't luck that he found it.

I followed Sal inside as he looked everywhere inside, seemingly orientating himself and then taking off into the kitchen. I caught up to him in time to see him pulling two mugs down from the cabinet, going straight to it, and then picking up the kettle and filling it.

"Do you want white chocolate mint or apple cinnamon?" Sally asked as he turned the burner for the kettle on. "You can go either way on a day like this."

I blinked in shock, feeling somewhat like an amnesiac since Sally knew me so well, but I only knew him from a long conversation, texts, and memories from a me from a different reality. It was bizarre and oddly comforting.

"I'm feeling more apple cinnamon at the moment, but get a white chocolate for later" I said as I took a seat on a stool at the counter. Sally went to my drawer where I kept my teas and pulled out two of each.

I watched as Sally made tea, sitting our mugs next to each other on the counter in front of me. Then he stripped off his hoodie, revealing a Metallica shirt (Kill Em All), tucking his beanie into the hoodie's pocket. I noticed he was sweating, small beads of sweat collecting in the ridges of the scars that traced down his neck from under his prosthetic. He sat down next to me, trying to play it off nonchalantly.

"You can take your prosthetic off if you need to" I told Sally and he immediately started unbuckling it. He caught it in one hand, lowering it from his face slowly. He sat it on the counter with worry etching is face.

The lighter scarred side of his face, the left side, bored pink skin from the heat trapped under Sally's mask, a bead about to drop from his brow into his eye. I caught it on a knuckle just as it was about to fall and then used my hands to clear the sheen of sweat from his face on both sides. I kept eye contact the entire time, feeling it was of the utmost importance to. I didn't focus on the scars. I already knew them like the back of my own hand.

After I was done, I wiped my hands on my jeans and then brought my hands back up to hold his face between them. Sal froze like a deer in headlights, face still worried, but hopeful. Slowly I leaned in and kissed Sally's torn lips.

Sally's tension left in a rush of air through his nares (medical terminology for nose holes) as he kissed me back. I could feel all nine years of his yearning for just this in his kiss and he pulled me closer, wrapping his arms around me. As we kissed, I traced the scars on his face lightly with my fingertips, exploring pits and ridges both smooth and rough, letting my left thumb run along the curve of the scar that hooked his right cheek, exposing his back teeth on that side. Sally's hands moved to cover mine as he slowly pulled away to rest his head on my forehead, eyes still closed.

"What made you come around?" Sally asked peacefully, just holding my hands to his face.

"You, Sally, just you." I said quietly, "And I may or may not have started having dreams. I saw how much you loved each other."

Sally's eyes snapped open and he pulled back slightly, now gripping my upper arms, "How much did you see?"

"Everything" I whispered, tears forming in my vision as I remembered. I wanted to kiss him again, so I did. Sally responded passionately, honestly not the best at it, but that only made it more endearing. It seemed right and I apparently knew just how to respond, matching his intensity until he pulled away reluctantly. Sally stood to hug me, holding me tight to his chest. His heart beat betrayed his calm breathing. It was beating a mile a minute in his chest as we held each other while I breathed in the crisp, clean scent of him.

"Does this mean I can stay?" Sally asked, pulling back to look down at me and I nodded.

"Yes" I said, "You can stay."

I barely got a breath in before I was crushed against Sally's chest. He let out a loud whoop that brought Punky running in from her spot with Olivia next to the heater vent, bouncing as she barked at Sally's presence, having missed when he came in. Sally kissed the top of my head and let me go.

"I'll go get my things tonight after you go to sleep, tell Todd and Ash that I'm staying. I can leave my new phone with them so we can stay in touch." He leaned in and gave me a quick kiss, "But for now, got any good movies?"

"Um yeah" I said, realizing that while Netflix did exist in 2006, it was a service that mailed you DVDs. The company had really done well over the years. I grabbed our mugs, now that they had cooled enough to drink and led Sally into the living room. Punky followed us, now curious.

I put our mugs on the coffee table and picked up the remote, switching the TV on and putting on Netflix. I watched awe come over Sally's face as I signed in and handed him the remote so he could scroll.

"Holy fuck knuckles" Sally breathed, stopping on Year One. "Is that Slip from Neverending Story 3?!" He gestured at Jack Black with the remote.

"Yeah, he kinda became a big thing in comedy. This one's a comedy about Biblical times. Stoner humor. Wanna watch? I have something that can set the mood right", I said, pulling my smoke tray from under the couch.

"Oh good" Sally chuckled as he sat down on the couch and picked the tray up, "I won't have to talk you into smoking with me again. You were pretty adament about it at first." He hit the OK button and put the remote down to deal with the weed, loading my pipe with graceful movements as I settled in beside him.

"Sally?" I asked as I watched him close everything up.

"Mmhmm?" He hummed as he lit the pipe, taking a big hit and holding it.

"One letter, four letters, three letters, two" I said, remembering it from a dream, "I still don't know what it means, but I know I'm supposed to say it back." I took the pipe, inhaling carefully as it was still lit.

Sally smiled and it was radiant. "It means, 'I love you too'. But I want you to say it because you want to, not because you know I want you to."

I exhaled and laughed, "You are all I've thought about since we met. I've got all of Grace's memories." I tapped my temple, "I'm Grace, just from a different time and place, just like you said. If it's not love, it's heading that way fast."

Sally's eyes were wet with unshed tears. I put down the pipe and he pulled me into his arms. "I love you Gracie Face."

I smiled and kissed his cheek, "I love you too, Sally Face."

[the-final-sif]

I’ve been thinking about the red sneaker theory, and my brain went to “hey, guess who 1) has had an extended encounter with Shigaraki, long enough and at the right angle such that he would have plenty of time to notice his weirdass shoes and 2) grew up with someone who was quirkless (and is no longer quirkless), and who could reasonable know about the limited shoe options for quirkless people in highly athletic jobs (and that getting a quirk second hand does not change the pinky toe joint)”

That’s right! It’s Katsuki Bakugou!

Now I’ve got a scene stuck in my head of how this revelation would play out.

Shigaraki has Katsuki captured and is trying to convince him that AFO is really a savior, maybe even telling his own story to try to win over Katsuki. Not that he was buying any of this bullshit anyways, but something about Shigaraki’s story feels wrong to Katsuki, he glances down and whose eyes catch on Shigaraki’s bright red shoes. With black laces. And white bottoms. Katsuki’s brain suddenly puts everything together, because he knows what brand of shoe that is. He’s learned to associate it with instant annoyance, because there was only one person he knew that wore them. Since Izuku had defended his ugly shoe color by explaining it was his only option, Katsuki not only knows what brand it is, but he knows who they’re made for. There’s only one reason Shigaraki would be wearing those shoes.

After putting all this together in a moment of him being oddly quiet, Katsuki looks back up.

“Tell you what,” Katsuki starts, his tone setting Shigaraki on edge for reasons he doesn’t quite understand. “I’ll consider joining your shitty club, if you can explain something for me.”

Shigaraki is hesitant, but certainly doesn’t think he has anything to lose here, so he nods and Katsuki continues.

“Let’s make sure we’re on the same fucking page here first. So you, the grandkid of someone All for One wanted revenge on, just so happened to get an extremely rare mutation that gave you a very powerful and destructive quirk that’s incredibly difficult to control. You ran away, and just so happened to not run into any heroes, police, or anyone who in general gave a shit, until All for One was, I dunno, out on a fucking walk? Randomly noticed you, and despite him not giving a fuck about anything, he decided to take you in and make you his successor on a whim. No idea who you were, he just felt like it. I got all that?”

While upset by the obvious doubt in Katsuki’s voice, Shigaraki nods anyways. That’s all correct.

“Right. So that’s all the stuff both of us know. Let me add in a bit of extra fucking knowledge here, some shit I don’t think you know about. You know people born quirkless, right? Do you know how to tell if a kid is born quirkless?”

The seemingly random topic change was almost startling, but Shigaraki answers without thinking.

“An extra joint in the pinky toe.” He knows that much. It’s one of those facts you just sort of hold onto. But he can’t actually remember how many an ‘extra joint’ is. Maybe 4? It’s irrelevant.

“Yep. That’s not quite all of it though. See, as I’ve found out, anyone who gets a quirk from someone else doesn’t lose their toe joint, and anyone who loses their quirk won’t grow a new one. Makes it easy to tell who was born with their quirk and who wasn’t, assuming you can do a fucking xray of their foot.”

It makes sense, the toe joint was a chromosomal link, not cause and effect. So quirks being changed around later in life shouldn’t change that. Shigaraki still has no idea why Katsuki was bringing this up.

Katsuki ignores his confusion and keeps talking.

“Fun fact though, and by ‘fun’ I mean ‘shitty’, that extra toe joint means quirkless people need different shoes. At least if they’re gonna be using their feet a lot. Since they’re in the minority, there’s not a lot of shoe options out there. Even less for high activity stuff. I grew up with someone who was quirkless, and he was into athletic shit, so he only had one option for shoes. The brand is pretty unique, and fucking ugly. I’ve never seen anyone without that extra toe joint wearing the color scheme.”

Suddenly, Shigaraki doesn’t like where this is going. Not one bit. Katsuki once again pays him no mind, plowing ahead.

“Bright red shoe, black laces, white bottoms. Super fucking distinctive. Clash with fucking everything. They stand out like a sore thumb, and there’s no way anyone wears those because they like the way they look.”

Someone was breathing quickly, and Shigaraki realizes it might be him. Was Katsuki further away? Had he taken a step back without realizing it?

Shigaraki knows whose shoes Katsuki is talking about. He’s worn this exact style of shoe his entire life. All he knew about them was that they were the only sneakers that didn’t make his feet ache and groan. Sure, he’d tried other brands at various points in his life, but none of them had fit quite right. He never understood why. Never thought about it for very long, because it hadn’t been important. Or maybe because he hadn’t wanted to think about it. He still doesn’t want to think about it.

“So given all of that. Given that according to your story, you were born with a quirk. Given that every shitty outfit I’ve seen you in is just fucking black besides your footwear, which you’ve kept the same despite changing the rest of it several times. Given all that shit, we get the part I need you to explain for me.”

Katsuki’s eyes find Shigaraki’s, red meeting red and forcing Shigaraki to listen, even when all he wants to do is clamp his hands over his ears and drown out this blasphemy before that final question comes and makes it real.

“Why the fuck do you wear shoes made for quirkless people?”

Both of them know the answer. Shigaraki can’t bare to say it out loud. He can’t let his life fall apart like this, not over something that shouldn’t have mattered. Everything he thought he knew was crashing down around him.

Funny how many secrets could be unraveled by something as insignificant as a pair of red shoes.

[btsqualityy]

Scripted: Part 17

Namjoon x Reader; Jimin x Reader

Genre: Angst, fluff, President!Namjoon, Head of Security!Jimin

Warnings: (Reluctant) open relationship, mentions of cheating

Nine days. Nine days had passed without so much as a peep coming from Namjoon’s lips. There had been no change in his condition, for better or for worse, so it had literally turned into a massive waiting game for you and the citizens of South Korea. 

A majority of citizens were very much up in arms over the attempted assassination of their believed President. Many of them loved Namjoon for how insightful, progressive, and determined he was and it hurt their hearts to see some vile person try to cut that down. On the other hand though, there was a decent amount of the population who believed that Namjoon was a conceited asshole who needed this “reality check”; those are the people that you hoped would burn in Hell, right along with the dickheads who had tried to kill Namjoon.

Speaking of the killers, the last that you’d heard was that there were three possible suspects and that the special team that had been assembled just to find the conspirators were digging into that further. You couldn’t say that the news necessarily made you feel better, but it did ease the pain a little bit. 

As for you, you had been keeping consistent at Namjoon’s bedside the entire time that he had been unconscious. You’d leave sometimes, when Jimin managed to convince you that you needed to sleep in an actual bed or eat a full, regular meal, but that was only for a few hours at most and never overnight. Deep down, you knew that you probably should’ve been taking better care of yourself, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to leave Namjoon in that hospital room alone. 

As you were sat in your chair that was placed next to Namjoon’s bed, you were interrupted in the middle of reading a magazine by a knock on the door. As you lowered the magazine down onto your lap and looked over your shoulder, you saw Yoongi stepping inside. 

“Hey hey,” he called and you set the magazine aside before standing up, giving him a tight hug after he walked over to you. He pressed a quick kiss to your cheek before pulling away, and you motioned for him to sit down in the empty chair that was next to yours.

“How is he?” Yoongi wondered and you sighed dejectedly.

“Still no change,” you told him. “The doctors said that some of the swelling that he was having has gone down, but we’re not sure if that’s a sign of recovery or not yet.”

“Dammit,” Yoongi huffed, shaking his head.

“How are things at the National Assembly Building?” You asked and Yoongi rolled his eyes. 

“It’s almost as if those old bastards were waiting for something to happen to him,” Yoongi spat as he motioned to Namjoon with his chin. “They’re already trying to undo the Farmer bailout plan that he introduced a few weeks ago.”

“Seriously?” 

“Seriously,” Yoongi nodded. “You know that they’ve always hated him.”

“Yeah I do, but I never thought it was that bad,” you grimaced.

“Us being young, open minded men who are more concerned with the lives of the citizens than we are with lining our own pockets will always bother them,” Yoongi explained. “The only reason that I haven’t let them have it yet is because I don’t wanna undo all of Joon’s handwork and I don’t want things to be harder for him whenever he does wake up.”

“I appreciate it Yoongi, and I know he does too,” you smiled softly. “Speaking of that though, anymore word on those suspects?”

“Oh yeah, that’s what I came here to tell you actually,” Yoongi gasped, remembering what he had wanted to tell you. Just before he could start talking though, you heard a raspy voice call out to you.

“Y/N-ah?” You whipped your head to the side, your eyes widening when you saw Namjoon’s head turned towards you and his eyes wide open. You sprung out of your chair, moving to sit on the edge of the hospital bed as you gently picked up one of his hands. 

“Oh my gosh, you’re up,” you smiled, trying to keep the tears from welling up and spilling over onto your cheeks. “Are you in any overwhelming pain?”

“Here,” he croaked, his other hand that you weren’t holding motioning towards his abdomen. You nodded and then looked over your shoulder at Yoongi. 

“Can you go get the doctor please?” You requested and Yoongi nodded, standing up from his chair and speed walking out of the room. You then turned back to Namjoon, reaching up and running your fingers through his slightly greasy hair. 

“I’m so happy that you’re awake,” you whispered to him. Before he could reply, the door burst open and Namjoon’s doctor was walking inside of the room followed by Yoongi. 

“Mr. President,” Dr. Song grinned, reaching up and removing the stethoscope from around his neck. “We’re very happy to see that you’re conscious again.”

“T-thank y-yo-,” Namjoon tried to say before coughing violently. You furrowed your brows while Dr. Song set the stethoscope on Namjoon’s chest, listening to his breathing. 

“First Lady Kim, do you want to get him some water?” Dr. Song asked. “His throat is probably really dry after 9 days.” You nodded and stood up from the bed, moving over to the side table where there was a pitcher of water and paper cups, grabbing one and filling it up before going back to the bed. Dr. Song had pressed the button on the hospital bed so that the top half of Namjoon’s body rose, making it so that he was sitting up.

“Here, slow sips,” you encouraged him, holding the cup up to his lips and watching as he took small drinks from it. After he had downed about two thirds of the cup, you pulled it away and set it on the side table.

“Better?” Dr. Song asked and Namjoon nodded slowly.

“Lots,” he replied clearly. 

“Do you remember what happened?” Dr. Song wondered.

“I was...shot, right?” Namjoon said and both you and Dr. Song nodded. “Was anyone else hurt?”

“I was alright, but Momo, Jungkook, and Taehyung all got hit in the crossfire,” you revealed and his eyes got noticeably larger. “They’re all ok though, don’t worry.”

“Thank God,” Namjoon huffed, a sharp exhale escaping his throat right after and you figured that his chest must be hurting. 

“We’re gonna do some more testing and xrays on you, to see if there’s any pressing issues that we need to take care of,” Dr. Song spoke up. “I’ll leave you guys to talk in the meantime though.” Dr. Song bowed deeply to Namjoon before turning and walking out of the room. 

“You have some timing, you know that?” Yoongi chuckled as he moved closer to the bed.

“You’ve been handling things in my absence?” Namjoon asked and Yoongi nodded. “I know the old geezers have been giving you hell, huh?”

“You don’t even know,” Yoongi groaned, making Namjoon chuckle deeply which then set off another round of coughing. 

“Relax,” you admonished him, making Namjoon nod before he leaned back against the bed. 

“So, did you catch the fucking bastards yet?” Namjoon wondered.

“That’s actually what I was about to talk to Y/N-ah about before you woke up,” Yoongi smiled. “We found the people responsible.”

“So those three were guilty?” You said.

“Yep,” Yoongi confirmed. “They claim to have done it because they believe that Joon is ruining the great country that South Korea is with his progressive ideals, and all that other bullshit.”

“We’re sure those old geezers in Assembly didn’t have anything to do with it, because that sounds like them?” Namjoon pointed out and you couldn’t help but to laugh softly.

“We’re sure,” Yoongi laughed. “The three who did it are in custody now and waiting for their arraignment.”

“Good, I hope they burn in hell,” Namjoon spat and you just shook your head at how much he sounded exactly like you did.

................................

Later that night, after Namjoon had gotten more tests and xrays done, he was back in his hospital room. The doctor found that the bullets had done some pretty bad damage to his chest cavity so he’d have to have another surgery soon in order to take care of that. 

“Would you stop fawning over me?” Namjoon chuckled, watching as you made sure that his blanket was tucked over his feet. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine,” you told him absentmindedly, moving up towards the top of the bed in order to fix his pillows behind his head. “Just because you woke up, doesn’t mean that you’re fine.”

“I’m alive, aren’t I?” He pointed out and you looked down at him, sighing heavily.  

“Yeah, but there were a lot of times over the last nine days that I thought that was going to change at any moment,” you admitted, dropping down so that you were sat on the edge of the hospital bed. “As much as I wanted you to be ok, the constant image of you falling down those steps with your chest bleeding replaying in my head made it hard to believe that you’d ever wake up. I think that’s why I didn’t want to leave your side once you were out of surgery.”

“You stayed here with me the entire time?” He questioned and you hummed in affirmation. “You know, when I was unconscious, I had dreams.”

“Really?” You said in surprise. 

“Well, I’m not sure if they would be considered dreams in the conventional sense, but that’s what they felt like,” he explained. “I dreamed about a lot of things, but mostly you.”

“Me?” You squeaked. 

“Yeah. I dreamed about how we first met, and our wedding day, and the day that we found out that you were pregnant,” he said and you smiled sadly. 

“You almost fainted in our bathroom when you saw those two lines,” you laughed at the memory. 

“Can you blame me for being terrified?” He huffed playfully. “I didn’t want to be the kind of father that my dad was to me, to our child so I was scared shitless.”

“You wouldn’t have been like your father,” you assured him. “You couldn’t have been that bad even if you tried your hardest to be.”

“I had a lot of dreams about that too,” he said before elaborating. “About me and my dad and our relationship.”

“And how was that?”

“Let’s just say that a lot of the things that he’s talked me into over the years, were more for his benefit rather than mines,” Namjoon summed up and you nodded because you had always known that. 

“I’m sorry,” you told him. “I know you’ve always had mixed emotions towards your dad.”

“Yeah,” he sighed before looking at you. “Can I tell you something? And you don’t have to give me an answer but I’d like for you to think about it.”

“Sure,” you shrugged. 

“I remember that you asked for a divorce before we got out of the limo that night,” Namjoon started. “Do you still want that?”

“Joon, with everything going on, I haven’t even thought about that,” you replied honestly.

“But you’re with Jimin, right?” He asked and you hesitated for a few seconds before nodding. “Well, I hope that you’ll still maybe consider me.”

“Huh?” You grunted in confusion. 

“That night, I just gave up and agreed to the divorce because I didn’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have,” he explained. “But in one of the dreams I had, I realized that I owe it to myself and to you to fight for what we have because we were good before all of this shit happened. I know that I’ve been the literal worst husband ever for the last eight months and despite whatever reasons that I thought justified that, it doesn’t make anything that I did right.”

“So what exactly are you saying?” You asked for clarification.

“I’m saying, that I’m going to fight for you Kim Y/N, because I love you and I’ve never stopped,” he declared firmly. “I’ll go to counseling, both on my own and with you, so that we could work on our issues if that’s something that you’d in interested in. And I ‘d do whatever else it takes to win you back.”

“It doesn’t just work like that though, Joon,” you told him weakly.

“I know and if you decide here and now that you wanna stay with Jimin and go ahead with the divorce, then I’m not gonna make it hard for you and that’s a promise,” he assured you. “But I’m also not gonna stand idly by without at least trying.” You just stared at him, wondering why the hell it had taken this version of Namjoon, the version that you had fallen in love with all those years ago in college, to show up. 

Instead of giving him an outright answer either way, you just leaned forward and pressed your lips against his forehead, letting your lips linger on his skin for a few seconds before pulling away from him. 

................................

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[witchygagirlwrites]

Carry Me

You and Kevin finally admit your feelings

"Take a picture it’ll last longer” Kim whispering in your ear nearly made you jump out your seat as you looked back at her “I have no idea what you’re talking about” She raised an eyebrow and glanced across the room to where your attention had just been. Kevin was standing talking to Hank and it was clear your attention was not on your sergeant.

“You like Kev! I don’t know why you don’t just ask him out. I mean it’s not the stone ages, we women can make the first move” she whispered and you shook your head looking around to be sure no one had heard her. “He’s my co worker Kim. I think if anymore of his team hook up Voight may just have a coronary. Besides I doubt he’d feel the same and a little crush isn’t worth messing up a friendship over” you chanced another look at Kevin and he just happened to look up at that moment and winked at you before returning to his conversation with Hank. Damn he looked good in that blue henley.

—-

Focusing back on work was easy when the unti caught a case involving what appeared to be a gang shooting on the south side.

You were helping do a canvas to try to find any witnesses when you spotted the new patrolman Jessica talking to Kevin and felt a twinge of what could only be described as jealousy when she touched his arm and smiled at something he’d said clearly flirting.

Despite your best efforts to not let it bother you it seemed like your mouth had a brain of it’s own when you blurted out “Officer aren’t you supposed to be helping the canvas? Not pawing one of the intelligence unit?” Her eyes widened as she turned to look at you and stammered “y-yes detective” and turned to catch up with her partner who was already halfway down the block. “Real professional Atwater” you grumbled with a shake of your head glad for a distraction when you heard Hank’s voice calling all of you over.

—-

The unit headed back to the precinct to start working any different angle to find out just what had went down. You luckily were able to avoid Kevin by Hank sending you with Antonio to talk to your joint C.I.s

“Hey you and Kev ok?” He asked on the way back to the precinct and you cut your eyes at him “We’re fine. Why?” He shrugged “Don’t know usually there’s alot more joking going on between the two of you”

“we’re currently working a case Toni. Wouldn’t be too professional would it?” You asked and he again shrugged “Don’t shoot the messenger sweetheart. Just checking to be sure”

—-

A break came in the form of one of your informants calling to say he knew who was taking credit for the shooting and after running down the name it turned out this wasn’t a gang shooting at all but more of a revenge thing considering the shooter had been convicted of a crime six years before hand on which the victim had been a silent informant.

—-

You were all down in roll up getting ready to head out. Kevin looked over when you slipped your vest on but before he could offer to help adjust the straps Adam got through helping Kim and moved to do yours at her request.

He didn’t know why you were so mad at him but it bothered him to some degree not being the one to adjust your vest. He’d been helping you with it since he came up to intelligence and it felt wrong not doing it.

—-

“Oh son of a bitch” you groaned between gritted teeth, your left ankle feeling like it was on fire every time you tried to put the least amount of weight on it.

When all of you had showed up to the address a fire fight had ensued and you’d ended up chasing the suspect three blocks before you tackled him. It quickly turned into a fight before backup could get there and somehow in the mix you’d wound up twisting your ankle in the struggle.

When Adam and Jay saw you standing favoring that side well let’s just say the suspect went in with a few extra bumps.

Hank found you leaning heavily against his suv and looked down at your leg “Go to med” “Boss I’m fine” you argued but one look at his face you knew it wasn’t a request.

You tried to walk back to Antonio’s car but your ankle gave way, before you could hit the ground you felt someone scoop you up in their arms and was surprised to see it was Kevin. A part of you felt embarrassed to be carried after such a trivial injury, the other part fought the urge to lean into his touch. “Put me down” you growled pulling a laugh from him “when you get to the car I’ll put you down”

—-

Antonio ended up riding back with Hank so that left Kevin to take you to med. The two of you sat in silence waiting for Ethan to come back with the results of your xray.

“Are you still mad at me?” He asked glancing up from his phone. You shook your head “Never was” “uh huh” he huffed but thankfully Ethan chose that moment to come in to inform you it was just a bad sprain. “Keep off it, take your anti inflammatory and you shouldn’t be benched but about a week”

“Thanks Doc” you said after he had the ankle wrapped and held out crutches to you. He smiled and said “You’re welcome. It’s a nice change to treat you when a bullet hole isn’t part of the problem”

—-

Kevin helped you get into the car then put your crutches in the backseat. “Sarge said to take you home. Kim is gonna bring your car after shift” he spoke quietly and you nodded not looking at him.

When he pulled into your driveway he turned the car off and sat for a minute before looking at you “Jessica was flirting with me but I told her that I had eyes for someone else before you ever came over there” “and you’re telling me this why?” You asked.

He rolled his eyes and let his head fall back against the rest “Damn girl are you blind? You’re the someone I got eyes for. I’ve been trying to work up the nerve to ask you out but weren’t sure how you felt until you been bugging all day over her. So at the risk of being a damn fool when you’re healed up you wanna go out to dinner with me?”

You were a bit stunned at his confession but couldn’t help teasing him just a little “On one condition” he raised an eyebrow before asking what that condition was. “Carry me in?” You asked with a smirk. He laughed, a relieved look creeping onto his face “I think I can manage that”

[cottoncandyreaper]

(Heisenberg's child prt.4)

There was his trigger word as my body made full contact with the side of the cage from the push gifted so graciously to me. It didn't cut me or anything but I was sure I had markings through my clothes.

"Don't call me Pops, Dad, Papa, your father to my face 'cuz I am not any of those. Whatever this test says, if it comes back the way I don't want it too just keep it in mind that your just something that was stolen from me without my permission ya little shit. And thats all. Some fucked up experiment that didn't go as Miranda wanted it too."

"What ever you say...sperm donor."

He growled out but I'm sure whatever damage he wanted to physically cause me with how tightly he clenched his fists he wasn't allowed to. Mother Miranda would probably kill him if he so much as broke a bone on me...he was in for a rude awakening if he thought he would scare me into silence. Oh no, there was nothing he could do that could take my voice of protest away from me so yay for teenage angst! The elevator stopped hard after a few quiet minutes as his near breaking hold on my wrist returned dragging me off and through another set of double doors. There was alot of junky looking stuff in here along with a molding machine, random ass xray's and screen and a...operation table.

"Sit your ass on the table."

"Oh boy...looks like it could collapse at any second."

"I said...sit."

I couldn't see his eyes thanks to the dark sunglasses yet I could see venom dripping from his lips as I held my hands up in mock surrender hoping up and settled slowly as I followed him with my eyes watching drawers and cupboards get opened, examined then slammed shut as he hunted for the test.

"Why do you have a DNA test anyway? That's kind of a odd ball thing to have in a factory like this."

"You're really not going to shut the fuck up are you?"

"I'm sixteen. We don't stay quiet normally like...ever."

"Unless you're dead."

"Sure...but I don't think you're allowed to kill me."

He stopped for a moment to look at me directly.

"If this test comes back with a whole lot of nothing...I'll be more then happy to kill you off as a imposter with no connection to me at all. And I won't feel bad about it."

"I believe you..."

We both went silent with that threat up in the air as he continued the hunt as quickly as he possibly could all while making the room more of a mess then it was to begin with. And as I watched even if I hated it...I had to find the silver lining that the man I watched with anger matching my own I hoped he really was going to be my father because it was the only thing that was going to save my life.

"Finally!"

I had been fiddling with my fingers lost in thought thinking about anything and everything when one word startled me from my mind as I looked up to see he had indeed found what he wanted and my heart sank. Watching him opening the box while reading the back he pulled out (thankfully) sterilized wrapped cotton swabs and some viles filled with clear liquid.

"Open your mouth kid."

"I'll do it, you do your own."

"Open your damn mouth so I know it doesn't get fucked up under mysterious circumstances."

"Dude it's a cotton swab...how would I fuck that up?"

The glare I likely recieved could have turned me to dust where I sat, I rolled my eyes opening my mouth only when he had it opened and walking towards me. Both cheeks were swabbed successfully drying out my mouth in the process so as I tried to fix that I watched him break the tip off into the vile shaking it before letting it sit then went on to do his own.

"It'll be a few mintues."

"Fine..."

He fell back into a old folding chair sighing way to dramatically letting his head fall back and shoulders slump. He looked like this was the most exhausting thing he had to ever deal with. Maybe he was still contemplating killing me...I guess that would be fair on his side; he said it himself that he never wanted me. Sixteen years later and I was starting to regret every wanting to know him.

The kid was quiet at last letting the room fill with background noises of the factorys rumbles. I took a peak from under the sunglasses at her: she still sat on the table, ankles crossed swinging her legs lightly twirling or tapping her thumbs around. This was probably the first time I wanted to look at her; only glancing at her eyes when I first examined her and Alcina was right. Poor kid looked way too much like me from back in the day and that alone made it hard for me to deny her. That test was going to come back positive and I had no fucking idea how to handle that, I've killed and experimented on people for so long now...having one here that would stay alive just because she was my daughter was a new battle ground I wasn't prepared for and for a brief second I thought about sending her to the mega bitch. Miranda would deny me that immediately. Standing from the old chair that impressed me with holding my weight I grabbed both veils in one hand and the box in the other. Pink was a match, clear liquid meant no match; simple enough besides the fact that I held so tight to the little things that they were probably close to shattering. I looked back at the kid then to the fisted hand at chest level prying my fingers open one at a time till just enough light from the xray sceeen gave me my answer. Pink liquid...she really was mine...and I still had no damn idea how.

"Looks like you're staying alive kid..."

"Hmm?"

Her voice had gone quiet as the table creaked from her jumping off coming just close enough to me to see what I held.

"Its positive?"

"You're mine somehow."

"Yay?"

Chucking the viels into the trash I turned to lean back against the counter eyeing the kid down who had deer in the headlights eyes.

"But now that we've figured that piece of the puzzle out, doesn't mean you ain't doing jack shit while you're here. I'm putting your ass to work."

"What...?"

Oh her confusion and worry made me smile, this was going to be a great time.

(A little shorter then normal for now; I'm catching up on what I'm still working on)