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20dollarlolita · 1 year ago

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Can you believe it? 20dollarlolita Pattern School Step 2!

Only took me a year and a half. For people who don't remember a year and a half ago, we've started a project about learning to sew from patterns. The eventual goal is to help people become proficient enough at reading patterns to be able to tell what's going on in a pattern with instructions in another language, taking a pattern that doesn't fit and resizing it so that it does, and taking a pattern that isn't technically lolita and make it work in lolita fashion.

Step 1 was to make a non-fitted item from a commercial pattern. There were two goals of step 1: first to ensure that everyone was familiar with notches, grainlines, and other pattern markings; second was to give people experience with selecting fabric and trims to help give a non-lolita pattern a more lolita feeling.

For step 2, we're modifying a commercial pajama pants pattern into bloomers. In this step, we're going to become familiar with how to prepare a commercial pattern for modification, to compare pattern size to body size and to use your tape measure to judge added fullness, and how to do some basic flat pattern manipulation to add in style ease. Bloomers are a great first manipulation/fitted project due to the loose fit and the fact that, in most lolita applications, the vast majority of it is under your skirt and therefore invisible.

For this specific sample, I'm going to use Gertie's Harlow Pajama Pants pattern for this. I'm doing this because I bought a commercial pattern from Green Store and then promptly lost it, and these pajama pants are a free download. If you are printing the tiled version on your home computer printer, you only need pages 41-52 and 58-71, which will save you about 40 pages of printing.

I highly recommed doing some research and having a good idea of how long the bloomers you want to make should be, as well as how they are decorated. This is my research board.

You can use any pajama pants pattern that has a casing (elastic or drawstring) at the top, and no zipper. In this case, pants with a looser fit are going to be easier to turn into bloomers. If you like wearing your pants at a certain point on your body, I'd check for pajama pants that are at that waistline. The pants that I'm using are designed to sit at your natural waist, which might be too high for some people.

Your first step is to assemble and fortify your pattern. If you're printing this on copy paper, it's going to be strong enough, provided you use enough tape when tiling your pattern. If you're using a tissue paper pattern, like the kind you'd buy at the craft store, it helps to fuse some inexpensive interfacing onto the back of the pattern. We're going to work with these patterns a lot, so it's important to make them a little bit stronger.

Now, you are going to need to go into your pattern instructions and find two important things. The first is your overall seam allowance. In most commercial patterns, this is 5/8 of an inch. Some other patterns might have different seam allowance.

The second is how big your elastic casing at the top will be. In this case, my seam allowance is 5/8" of an inch. Because my hem casing is .25"+1.25" (the amount you turn up plus them amount you turn up the second time), I know that my elastic casing will take up 1.5".

You're now going to mark on your pattern what the stitching line is. Your pattern has seam allowance included. This is very useful for when you cut out the pattern. However, if we take our pattern measurements with seam allowance, we won't have accurate numbers. So we have to clarify where the seam allowance is.

The first thing that I do (not pictured) is to write how much I'm removing along each line. In this case, I write 5/8" along the side and crotch seams, and "1+1/2" at the top where the casing is. Since we're going to drastically shorten these pants, it doesn't matter what the hem allowance is.

Then, I take my ruler, and I mark my stitching line. I do it in pencil, check that I'm correct, and then go back and re-draw it with a red marker. This helps me make sure that I'm following the correct lines.

Make sure you transfer your notches onto your new stitching line. You can see in the picture above how I'm using the ruler to measure where the notch is going to go.

The next step, walking the pattern, is a little tricky to explain. Here's a post that goes into it in great detail.

Basically, you're going to overlap the seam lines, to make sure they line up. The only problem with doing this is that both seam lines are curved. So, instead of lining it all up at once, you're going to go about an inch at a time, letting the pattern rotate so that it stays flat on the table. At any given point, you're only going to have an inch or so of the line overlapping, but that's all you need. If you run into notches that don't line up, cross one out and re-draw it so that it matches the other notch.

If this seems really complicated, you don't really need to do that on this project. It just is a good practice to have.

So you now should have a pattern with all the commercial markings, but where you've drawn the stitching line.

So now, you're going to put your two pieces together along the outseam. Since this is a pretty straight part of a pajama pant, it shouldn't be too difficult to get them to line up. Remember to overlap them on your stitching line, and not on the edge of the pattern.

We're putting them together so that you can measure them both at the same time. it saves us some math.

In bloomers, there are three major measurements to take into consideration. You need to know how big you want the leg to be, how big you want the booty to be, and how long you want the leg of the bloomer to be. In addition, you need to make sure that the waist of your pants will be big enough to fit your waist. In most pajama pants patterns, this isn't a problem, but checking it is good practice.

So, in this picture, you can see that I've measured the cuff of the pants. These two pieces together make up one pant leg, so I just need to measure the two pieces to know how big the pant leg will be.

I then take my tape measure and hold it around my leg at the same size that the pattern is at that point. I just use my eyes and judge if I think that'll be enough room to make my bloomers nice and poofy.

If your pattern doesn't tell you your hip line (mine didn't), it's usually at the point where the two notches on the crotch curve are. One of the reasons why we're doing this on a commercial pattern is that someone did the work for us and put those notches where they should be.

Now, remember, these two pieces are only half of the pant pattern. When we measure the hips of the pattern, we have to multiply this measurement by 2. Half the hip measurement x 2 is the full hip measurement.

Once again, hold this out next to your body and make sure that you like how much fullness you need. Remember that, in addition to having extra fullness because bloomers are poofy, you need room to be able to move and sit down. This measure between the size of my body and the size of the pattern looked pretty good to me. I could definitely have gone a little bit bigger.

The pant leg measurement is okay to be a little bit too long. You can always make it shorter. However, feel free to chop about 18" off the bottom of a full length pant leg. This just makes things a little easier.

Now, we're going to move the two pattern pieces until they're the size we like. If both the hip measurement and the leg measurement are too small, we're going to move both pattern pieces apart. To turn pajama pants into bloomers, this is likely to be the most common adjustment.

If the hip measurement is pretty okay, but the cuff measurement is too small, you're just going to move the bottom part of the pattern apart.

You'll notice that this is still enlarging the hip measurement a little bit. This is fine for bloomers since the style is for a lot of fullness in that area.

And if your cuff is the correct size, but your hip measure is too big, you can keep the cuff size the same and move the hip line apart until it's the size you want.

This technique of lining up the pattern pieces, and then moving them until they're the size you want, is the basics of flat patterning. As long as you follow the philosophy of keeping the measurements you like roughly the same, and moving the areas that you don't like until they measure what you need, you can easily resize a pattern without having to re-draw everything.

If you had to spread your pieces apart, tape some paper underneath the gap. This piece of paper should bridge the gap between the two pieces, turning them into one piece. Really quickly double-check that these pieces measure how you want. Then, mark a line in the middle of the paper bridge. Draw your notches onto the cut line. Cut the two pieces apart on that line. You've now made both pieces bigger. Tape another little piece of paper onto the cut edge of each piece, mark out your seam allowance, and cut that off.

Bonus points: swap the position of the pattern pieces, so that the crotch curve is one continuous line. Measure the length of that. Then, hold your tape measure along where the crotch curve of your pants will fit, and make sure that you have clearance there. I'm not going to photograph that, andi t's not super necessary with most pajama patterns.

Go ahead and cut your pieces out.Even though I'd shortened the pattern, mine were still too long to fit on a 2-yard cut of fabric. Since I knew that my pants were a little long, I just let the end hang off the edge of the fabric.

Here's the really magical part about this. Even though you've resized your pattern, you still have all your seam allowance, notches, grainlines, and your pattern instructions. Since you kept all your pattern markings consistent, you can now follow the instructions that came with your pattern. Go up until it tells you to hem the pants, and then try them on.

In my case, my pants were way too long to be bloomers. I knew that I wanted to do a casing with a heading, which does use s pretty big hem allowance, but even so, I'd need to shorten them.

Check out your bloomer research board to see how long you want them to be. I wanted some long ones that did the old-school bloomer peek, so I made them on the longer side. I also didn't want them to ride up into my butt when sitting in a wheelchair.

So, time to fold up the bottoms, add my elastic, and call the basic construction finished.

I looked up on my research board to try to find a good way to decorate these. One of the nice things about bloomers is that you can wear them with a wide variety of coords. This makes them one of those items where you can add some extra lace, and then use that lace in multiple coords. I feel like, since these bloomers are a good way of adding detail in multiple coords, it's a good excuse to add a little bit extra lace. You can see how much of a difference it makes in this picture. It really turns them from baggy shorts into real bloomers. I really recommend sometimes investing in a couple of big purchases of lace. If you have lots of lace on hand, you're more likely to include it in your projects, which can really help push a meh project into proper lolita fashion territory. I have a rule that I don't spend more than $1.50 a yard on lace unless it's really fantastic, and I manage to find things at that point on Aliexpress and sites like Cheeptrims.

Now go on and let them peek out of your favorite skirt. And remember, definitely don't press that skirt before putting this picture in your tutorial.

#20dollarlolita #dollar chan's pattern school #step 2 #lolita fashion #patternmaking #handmade lolita #lolita bloomers #sewing tutorial #hey guys look i actually made somethign #long post

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in-death-we-fall · 2 years ago

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Sex, Drugs and One Armed Groupies

...is gonna be the title of this since there kinda isn't one. Scans were posted by @fuckyeswednesday13 a long time ago. I really liked this article and now it's nice and easy to read (especially the columns. Ask me how much I hated the columns.) Enjoy! (drive link)

UPDATED FULL VERSION HERE

The Big Day Out. The Australian travelling musical circus that steamrolls its way around Australia and New Zealand every winter with the hottest bands on the planet flying from all over the globe to join down under’s best bands in a mayhem filled fortnight. This year’s line-up, features among others, The Foo Fighters, Queens of the Stone Age, Jane’s Addiction, Jimmy Eat World, The Hard Ons and deathglam monstrosities, the Murderdolls. So far, the Mid West (sic) based five-piece outfit have been the cream of the festival, appropriately headlining the ‘Essentials’ stage. This is the band’s first time in the Antipodes and quizzical music fans have crowded to see the much-talked about live set. With Sydney copping the biggest crowds of all the legs on the tour, the band are preparing something special. But at 3pm in the afternoon you wouldn’t know it. Most of the band are still in bed from the night before, well, actually… the week before.

The ‘Dolls have been in Sydney for five days before their Big Day Out show and not finding much to do early on in the week they’ve just been getting down to the (sic) rock’n’roll’s most popular pastime: hard drinking. Drummer ‘Big’ Ben ‘The Ghoul’ Graves and bass player Eric Griffin are recovering from last night’s binge. While singer Wednesday and guitarist Joey Jordison are recovering from the night before the night before. Acey Slade, who maintains his sobriety, but still stays out ‘til dawn, has been up since 11am and is the only one ready for the show. With the band on stage at 7:15pm, things need doing. Staggering through their beer can and ‘paraphernalia’-strewn rooms to the showers, they’re down in their van and on the way out to the Big Day Out site just after 4pm.

Situated at the same place that hosted the Sydney 2000 olympics, the festival facilities are first rate and the sell-out crowd of 52,000 festival-goers are making the most of it. The temperature’s pushing a blistering 35°C and being the middle of a drought-ridden summer in Australia, everything’s dry, dusty and cracked. It’s a good 40-minute drive from the city to the festival and the sun’s stinging in through the van windows. Not big fans of the sunlight, the Murderdolls have got their leather jackets up over their heads to avoid even the slightest hint of a tan.

In the cool, air-conditioned shade of backstage I get to sit down with Joey Jordison and singer Wednesday 13 to gind out how the band are doing after their meteoric rise over the past eight months. Joey is straight down the line, measured and professional. “This si the first Big Day Out for all of us. Slipknot have only been down here once but not that (sic) this festival. This is something I’ve really wanted to play – something I’ve wanted to do for a really long time.”

For Wednesday, this is another notch on his rise as an international rock’n’roller. “It’s awesome,” he says. “I’ve always wanted to be out on the front of a rock’n’roll band at a festival like this. After struggling doing my own band for six years I actually quit my job back in April and I’ve been touring every since. I’ve done all the things I ever dreamed about. I’ve been to Europe three times, Japan twice and here we are now in Australia and that has all been pretty much in the last six months! Holy shit we’re doing some things that some bands have never done!”

“We just checked out the videotape from the Auckland show the other day and fuck man, it was awesome!” enthuses Joey. “People are saying we are pulling the most people to that stage out of everyone. Our band has been doing really well especially since we’ve only been going for a short time. We hope that after the BDO we’ll be able to come back and do some real headlining shows down here. We are having fun though, thinking about it, we’ve never had so many days off between shows before, it’s more like the Big Day Off!”

The band wasn’t supposed to be so idle. Most overseas bands on the BDO bill play a bunch of satellite shows in various cities around the country and for a month prior, the Murderdolls had been slated to perform a Sydney show with fellow US rockers The Deftones. But with very little warning, the Murderdolls were dumped from the bill just before the show. What really pissed off Joey and the lads was a lot of the Murderdolls fans had bought tickets on the basis that the band would be playing but in the end had to watch the Deftones supported by ex-At The Drive-In chancers, Sparta.

Without much choice in the matter the Murderdolls issued a statement on their website apologising to their fans and kept trying to fly their flag with some instore appearances at local record stores. One in particular at Utopia Records, was insane. There was such a roar when the band turned up, they looked truly surprised at the number of kids who had showed up, most dressed in black and red outfits.

“Someone told us there was only going to be about 150 kids, which was supposed to be a good turn-out for Utopia records for a new band,” retells Joey. “But when we turned up there (sic) almost 500! We talked to fans and signed everything that they had. We were there for a good three and a half hours. And at the Channel V interview it was pretty much the same story. Hordes of kids that wouldn’t let us get away.”

“That’s the cool thing with our fans,” explains Wednesday. “We’re not a radio band or an MTV band with this created army of little kids which I think is more pure than being the Number One radio band or liking it because someone tells you to like it. I know that our fans are real. It is really cool to see these hordes of kids show up, they are dressed like us, they know everything about us, it is just awesome.”

Thinking further ahead fans will be please to know the band are not going to let up on the groundswell already created by the Murderdolls. “I have to go back and finish recording some Slipknot stuff,” reveals Joey. “Then we (the Murderdolls) are going to do some more touring. There’s usually a three to four month sort of break between recording and when an album comes out so we are going to tour pretty much all the way from the end of May all the way to maybe the beginning of October. Which will be good because there’ll be less sunlight at that time of year,” jokes Wednesday raising his non-existent eyebrows and throwing his arms, heavily tattooed with b-grade horror heroes, into the air.

As the hot afternoon drifts into an only slightly less simmering evening, there’s a small problem with guitarist Acey. He’s got indigestion. This amounts to a small crisis because first aid officials must follow procedure and administer the medicine. This takes two St. John’s Ambulance men on pushbikes in a five minute ride from their base at the side of the main stadium. Very un-rock’n’roll indeed.

With the gig just 45 minutes away, the boys are pacing around their trailer, having their pics taken for Hammer. Acey inside in front of the mirror still applying the last of his make-up, Ghoul is getting powdered up, Wednesday’s still with the photographer, while Joey’s nervously pacing around, in the trailer, out the trailer, back in… Eric meanwhile is ready for the stage and cracks open the obligatory bottle of Jack Daniel’s. As a Murderdolls ritual, they’re applying the slap, the band have to listen to Kiss. “Must. Have. Kiss.” stipulates Joey. “‘All American Man’! We sometimes change that to ‘All American Ghoul’,” chimes in the Ghoul.

Just 10 minutes before showtime and the long lanky frame of Ben Graves is stretched spider-like up against the dressing room wall. “I’ll be in pain afterwards,” he explains. Wednesday has by now finished his solo shots with Hamer’s photographer. The day is hot enough anyway, and under the photographers lights the heat is even more stifling. ‘Jesus, it’s fucking hot!” exclaims the frontman. “But I don’t mind… I’m a naturally dead person in front of a camera” he laughs.

More Kiss blares out from the dressing room, this time ‘Dr Love’! Then the moment comes: ground fucking zero at the Big Day Out! The band clamber into the van and head around the back way to the Essentials stage. The bottle of Jack’s being passed around as they approach the stage the band take a quick peak (sic) to see how the crow’s building up. It’s the biggest yet, taking up most of the grassy area out the back of the main stadium. Joey – who regularly suffers from pre-gig nerves as his pre-stage vomiting on Slipknot’s ‘Disasterpiece (sic)’ DVD proves in all its technicolour glory – is bricking it.

Five minutes before the band are due to hit the powerchords and the guys are milling around in the wings. Ghoul is banging on some warm-up pads and everyone is getting psyched. They’ve left the Kiss CD backstage so they have to hum ‘All American Man’ together. Then they make their way to the stage.

A couple of huge Murderdolls logos adorn the stage and in an eruption of noise and energy, the Dolls take the stage and instantly kick off with ‘Dawn of The Dead’. Jordison in black leather Gestapo hat is jumping around stage left, Acey is wailing away stage right while Eric bangs away on the bass doing his best Nikki Sixx impression, while the Ghoul wrecks the trap kit. Wednesday is the last to take the stage and screaming, “We are the dead, coming for you!” And the crowd goes fucking wild.

The kids down the front, dressed up in full glam-goth regalia, know every word and sing along fervently with the band while among the throng watching from the side of stage are some of the biggest names in the Australian music industry. Members of bands like 28 days, Machine Gun Fellatio, Cog, Jimmy Eat World, Pre-Shrunk, and Sparta all stand wide eyed and mouths agape at the outrageous rock revisionism being unleashed onstage.

By the time the band have launched into ‘I (sic) Was a Teenage Zombie’, ‘Let’s Go To War’ and ‘Slit My Wrists (sic)’, the crows know what they’re in for. Most who have showed up for curiosity (sic) sake are still hanging around, but if anything the crowd is building and everyone looks like they are right into it having fun. The intro to ‘Twist My Sister’ is a kid’s nursery rhyme ‘Old McDonald’ which gets the whole crowd singing along.

Unbelievably, some lunatic in the crowd starts throwing bangers at the stage, but the fireworks only make it as far as the front row of fans before blowing up in their faces. Wednesday tries to get the guy to quit while geeing up the rest of the crowd. “All the people down the front tell the people at the back to ‘Die Die Die… my bride!’ he yells as the band grind into the song…

Today’s set includes two new songs, and we can report that both are killer kitsch rock rippers. The first, set for legendary status is called ‘The Devil Made Me Do It… And I’ll Do It Again’ while the second is the set closer, a crowd sing along gem ‘I Love to Say Fuck’. Wednesday grabs his big black umbrella, emblazoned with the word FUCK, Eric, Acey, and Joey are going crazy, jumping up and down in unison, Ghoul is all arms and legs behind the kit while Wednesday is right down in the crowd’s face urging them to stick their fingers in the air and yell ‘Fuck!’. It looks great to watch. “It isn’t choreographed,” says Wednesday later. “Everything’s pretty much spontaneous. There are some things like we all jump on an ascent in the music or whatever but everything else is stuff that just happens on stage.”

They (sic) crowd are almost passing out from the combination of frenzied activity and the extreme heat, but still manage to scream out for more as the band leave the stage. “A lot of people don’t know that’s what drives a show,” explains Wednesday about his relationship with the audience. “You have to make fans feel part of the event and I think we do it better than anyone else.”

The band then jump back into the van for the two minute trip back to their dressing room behind the main stage. When they get back there the guys are all super hyped up. Excitedly buzzing around their dressing room, drinking beers, telling jokes. Joey is busy analysing the gig, and the BDO circus in general. He and Wednesday have got an interview to do with Australian TV scheduled for 8:45pm. It’s almost 9pm and Joey has another issue: “I want to eat! I must eat before I talk!” he exclaims. The interview is postponed for 20 minutes.

Bass player Eric is hanging around, so I grab him for a quick chat. Of all the Murderdolls, Eric seems the shyest but is probably the one most up for anything, especially if it is party related. He may only be small, (even in his Ace Frehley six-inch platforms he’s still barely average height!) but he’s a true rock’n’roller with a party attitude to match. “‘Machine Gun Fellatio’ that’s a cool fuckin’ name,” he squeaks discussing some of the other bands on the BDO bill. And he does squeak, kinda, like annoying Brit ‘comedian’ Joe Pasquale.

I bring up the fact that esteemed record producer, Nick Launey (Silverchair, INXS) was side of stage watching the show and had an interesting story to tell me about Eric. “I think I know where this is going,” smiles Eric slyly. “I met him about two years ago in LA at a party and we were all fucked up. I got dragged down three flights of stairs by my hair and he reckoned it was the biggest rock’n’roll moment of ‘00 for him. First impressions count, man.”

“It was so rock’n’roll!” Launey informs me later. “It was the launch of Orgy’s album and they had these models dressed as prostitutes lying on a bed and Eric jumps up on the bed with them, which of course you weren’t allowed to do. So the bouncers are dragging him out by his hair, kicking and screaming, down the stairs. His head was literally bouncing down each stair like a cartoon character and all the while he’s just got his middle fingers up on each hand and is yelling out ‘Fuck You!’, ‘Get Fucked!’, ‘Fuck you, mind the hair!’ Somehow he got back into the party and I asked him ‘how’s your head?’ and he just said “Whaddya mean?” - it was just so rock’n’roll!”

Eric has pre-arranged with their tour driver to take him over to the Boiler Room, where the BDO’s electronica acts are playing. He wants to see German electronic innovators Kraftwerk. “One of the bands I was in before the Murderdolls was very digital and computer based,” he reveals. “Kraftwerk don’t do a lot of live shows and I don’t think I’ll ever get the opportunity to see them again. They’re pretty important to the genre and even if I catch just 10 minutes of their set I think it will be worth coming over. A short ride through the back entrance, we arrive at the Boiler Room and manage to get in, via a bit of a labyrinth, through the backdoor and into the main arena just at the side of the stage. The Kraftwerk guys are standing robot-like in front of their computers while the huge dome-like venue is dripping with sweat from the 10.000+ strong punters who have basically been locked in the room all day listening (sic) the dance bands. We get a good vantage point but after about five minutes we’re leaving. “Jeez! That was the most boring piece of crap I’ve seen!” exclaims Eric when he gets back to the dressing room. “But it was worth going because I scored some drugs!”

Acey’s just hanging around backstage with his camera and a little doll from The Nightmare Before Christmas. He has a ritual where he takes a photograph of the doll in front of landmarks all around the world. “I have him in front of the Eiffel Tower for instance,” he says. “The other day I took a pic of him in front of the Sydney Opera House.” And with that he takes a photo of the doll sitting in front of a sign that says ‘Sleazy’. Hmmm. Odd man.

Acey and Eric are loving every minute of the Murderdolls ride. They’re both on their first trip to Australia and according to both of them it is (sic) has been “Cool as hell!” “The Gold Coast was really on,” says Eric. “It’s been kinda mellow since we got to Sydney because we’ve had four or five days off before this show so we’ve just been trying to find out what’s been going on. It’s been building gradually… and we’ve been partying a lot – maybe too much,” he adds sheepishly. Rick the tour manager – who’s passing by – agrees: “Yep, they’ve been very naughty boys – they’ve got to go to bed early tonight with no supper,” he jokes.

“He knows we’re the most dangerous band on the tour,” counters Eric. It’s a fact that seems to deter any other bands partying with the Murderdolls too. “The only band that has even reached out to us are the guys in Jane’s Addiction, in particular, Dava Navarro,” offers Acey. “He actually came out of his way to come over and introduce himself. And pretty much comes up and talks to us everyday he sees us along with the drummer, Steven [Perkins]. Everyone else is just kinda like, ‘What’s Up?’ Maybe it’s because we don’t look like we’re the most approachable band. Then again no-one has done anything to piss us off at all.”

No one may be talking to the Murderdolls but there is talk of the Murderdolls all over BDO. Most centres around their appearance with most Australian musical luminaries agreeing the band are the best dressed at the festival. One member of Aussie band the Resin Dogs even goes as far as to say, “The Murderdolls rock the wardrobe”. Acey is kinda flattered but non-plussed by the comments. “What image?” he exclaims. “This is how we are all day! Obviously we knock it up a notch for the show but this is the real thing. We don’t care if people like us as sexual deviants or not, but one thing’s for sure – they’ll fucking remember us.”

Big Ben Graves strides over to join us at the table. “Did I hear the words sexual deviant?” he announces in his deeply rounded US accent. “I’ve always been like that! Some people have a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other – I just two devils. There is NO voice of reason!”

We ask him if he has had any interesting adventures since he’s been in Australia and then instantly regret it…

“Dude, it has been nothing but interesting adventures. For instance last night, he (indicating Eric) he almost screwed a one-armed girl!”

“She had three tits and one arm,” giggles the dimunitive (sic) bassist.

“Yeah. It was weird,” continues the Ghoul, “one of her arms was like a stump and it looked like it had a nipple on it. I must admit I almost fucked her just for the freakiness of it.”

And with that starter for 10, the Ghoul is off. He starts ranting on with these sick freak jokes that crack everyone up and inside a minute you get a window to his personality. “Our drummer is one bona fide sick fuck,” jokes Wednesday of him later. “He stills (sic) freaks us out. I’ll just look at him sometimes and say to myself, ‘holy shit, dude, what planet are you from?’”

“It was weird on the Gold Coast,” says Eric, picking up on the tour adventure thread. “The girls there were the hottest chicks I had ever seen in my life but by the same token I had never got as much shit for the way I look than I have there as well. It was like two opposite poles. At first it was, ‘hey freak, where’s the funeral?’ and the next was, ‘sit down have a drink with us.”

“As far as people looking at you weird, I found Sydney is where I got the stares,” admits the Ghoul. “Sydney sucks! Although we did have some girls staking out our hotel which was pretty funny and I did have an over-zealous fan thrown out of the bar. The guy was just touching me a little more than he should and I didn’t like it,” he says animatedly. “I was like, ‘man, don’t make me waste this perfectly good bottle of Heineken by breaking it over your head. I’ve done it before’. Eric looks at him and says, “yeah he has!” But he was on something. I remember thinking ‘I want whatever he’s on… times ten!”

“I gotta say though, the Sydney crowd today was one of the best crowds we’ve had so far,” offers Acey as he joins the throng. “It was insane. It is good for us this tour, because the kids don’t know what we are all about yet so we have to prove ourselves. By the end of the set they all had their hands in the air.”

By this time Joey and Wednesday have finished their feed and their hastily re-scheduled interview and are looking for some more mischievous fun for themselves. “First of all, I’m going to go back over to the stage we played because there are a lot of kids hanging around over there still wanting to see us,” explains Joey. “Then after that, I’m gonna go directly where ever (sic) the free drinks are at…” Suddenly, Eric’s doubled over in the doorway of the dressing room. It’s been 45 minutes since he visited Kraftwerk in the Boiler Room and the pharmaceuticals are beginning to take effect. We ask if he’s OK. “Yeah man, I just think I’m gonna spew!” he grins. The rest of the band are baiting him ceaselessly.

“C’mon chuck it up man!” they urge and all crack up laughing together.

In the middle of all the commotion Wednesday is taking a piss in the corner of the dressing room. The place is a wreck: there are empty bottles of booze, food scrapes (sic), squashed fruit, hairdryers, make-up, boots, clothes (black and red if (sic) course) and of course a giant mirror. Wednesday is actually pissing into a bottle of Corona. At the same time I am just about to pick up my freshly opened bottle of Corona from the table which is besides (sic) a now suspicious looking bottle. “Yeah I always piss in the empty bottles,” giggles Wednesday. And then I leave ‘em on the table just to piss off anyone who might want to grab some of our rider or whatever. Just be careful just to get bottles from down there in the ice box, he laughs mischievously. Suddenly the oddly warm bottle in my hand seems less than appealing…

As the clock turns 1am the only people left at the stadium are the cleaners, the roadies and the still-partying Murderdolls. Last to leave, the van is parked just outside the dressing room and all I can see through the opened door is the Ghoul chucking around a baguette, now baked hard as a rock over the course of the stifling hot day. “Look at this - it could be used as a weapon to seriously maim you!” he screams bouncing the French loaf off the wall. A post vomit Eric cracks up, as the two hold a mock baguette joust oblivious to the outside world. They eventually make off back to their hotel room in the city, but don’t hang there for too long. The weekend lights of Sydney beckon and they cruise down William street in King’s Cross, to an underground rock venue called Club 77. It’s glam night, just their crowd and they spend the wee hours of the morning hanging out with fans and getting stuck into the sauce with a vengeance. Australia has officially been Murderdolled!

Blood and Glitter

Gavin Braddeley charts the rise of shock rock

Glam is hard evidence that what goes around comes around. Long dismissed as the definitive climax of 70s bad taste, in recent years glam rock has arisen from the grave, albeit with a veil of cobwebs draped over its original dusting of glitter. Originally a violent reaction to the 60s happy fad for all things natural, worthy, meaningful and drab, glam was all about being deliberately artificial, selfish, throwaway and garish.

In the States Alice Cooper was impaling baby dolls and throwing blood bottles around the stage from ‘70 onwards culminating in the vaudeville theatrics of the ‘Welcome To My Nightmare’ album/tour of ‘76.

Back in the UK, the Glam pioneer was lame pop pixie Marc Bolan (sic), photogenic frontman with T-Rex, who caused a sensation when he took to the stage on Top of the Pops in ‘71 with glitter under his eyes, clad in what looked suspiciously like drag. Never one to miss a trick, the lizard-like David Bowie soon jumped from the hippy ship to take on his otherworldly Ziggy Stardust persona.

The older generation may have thought that smearing make-up on your face and covering your clothes in sequins made you look like a ‘pooftah’. Alice Cooper got around this by replacing Glam’s overt ‘fagginess’ with ghoulish melodrama, prompting one critic to observe that Americans were more comfortable with necrophilia than homosexuality. And then came Kiss. Gene Simmons’ monstrous blood vomiting, fire breathing ‘Demon’ persona enslaved an entire generation of US children crossing Glam’s theatricality with heavy metal machismo to create one of the most influential bands in rock music history.

W.A.S.P. and Mötley Crüe supercharged Kiss’s sleaze and violence quotient to spectacular effect in the 80s, and provide the missing link between Glam and the Murderdolls, who happily cite the back-combed bad boys as a large part of their creative DNA. The chief inheritor of the Glam tradition in the last decade, however, is cross-dressing controversialist Marilyn Manson. Bowie may have metaphorically murdered his creation Ziggy Stardust in the summer of ‘74, while Bolan (sic) died more literally in a car accident three years later, but quarter-of-a-century on, Manson used his own dark arts to conjure their spirit on ‘Mechanical Animals’, his own tribute to pop’s most decadent decade.

Dead… and loving it!

The Murderdolls’ five favourite movie death scenes of all time…

The Murderdolls are proof positive that nothing gets some folks’ creative juices flowing quite so freely as a truly delicious cinematic death scene. Joey and Wednesday have a few favourites – both carnage connoisseurs identifying the ‘74 classic power toolfest The Texas Chainsaw Massacre as the gory cream of the crop – a movie currently being remade with a certain Mr. Manson in the soundtrack composer’s chair. (As a curious aside, you never actually see the girl hung on the hook – just a shadow – but such is the film’s sordid impact that most viewers swear you do!)

Joey 1. Texas Chainsaw Massacre “The girl on the hook.”

2. Friday The 13th Part IV “When the knife comes through the bed and impales the chick.”

3. The Exorcist “When the priest is hucked out through the plate glass window.”

4. A Nightmare on Elm Street “Where the girl is getting dragged across the rooftop.”

5. Necromancy “Where a group of devils and monsters take a girl apart.”

Wednesday 1. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre “The girl on the hook.”

2. Dawn of the Dead “When the spiked ball comes down and rips the guy’s head apart.”

3. Phantasm “A silver ball hits the guy in the head and sucks out all his brains.”

4. Hellraiser “Where (sic) the end sequence where the guy is being chased by all these hooks. They attach themselves to him and rip him apart.”

5. Nightmare On Elm Street “Where Freddy rips out the guy’s veins and uses them like strings controlling a puppet.”

Schlock n’ Roll

B-movie classics that have influenced shock rockers of now and then…

Some horror movies are best watched not so much with your tongue in your cheek, as thrust firmly through it, films that by accident or design are more about fun than fear. The same could be said of numerous horror loving bands, including the Murderdolls, where an ‘everyday is Halloween’ ethos prevails. Here are a few examples of B movie blood fests which may not have won any Oscars, have been paid tribute to by schlock loving bands over the years…

Plan 9 From Outer Space (1957) It is no surprise that the mother-of-all cult movies inspired the mother-of-all cult bands, and when Glenn Danzig created a label to release early Misfits material he dubbed it ‘Plan 9’. Frequently voted the worst movie of all time with its ludicrous script, mind bogglingly bad special effects, cardboard sets, and even more cardboard artistry, Plan 9 From Outer Space is irresistibly entertaining. Directed by the cross-dressing caliph of crap Ed Wood Junior, featuring proto-goth babe Vampira and Bela Lugosi (dying of drug addiction, he was replaced mid production by a stand-in who looks nothing like him).

The Abominable Dr Phibes (1971) Featuring horror cinema’s kind of camp Vincent Price as the fiendish Phibes, avenging the death of his wife using maniacal methods borrowed from the biblical plagues, all against wonderful, strangely psychedelic sets. Also possessed of a strange psychedelic sensibility are punk pioneers the Damned, though in the 80s, lead singer Dave Vanian’s horror sensibilities took centre stage, attracting a goth following. The 80 track ‘13th Floor Vendetta’ is a classic example of the band’s game-topping which, if you listen carefully, is all about ol’ Doc Phibes.

Mars Attacks! (1996) Director Tim Burton’s tribute to the drive-in shockers of the 50s and 60s, Mars Attacks! was actually based upon a ‘62 series of bubblegum cards, discontinued because of their gruesomely graphic pictures of earthlings being exterminated by alien invaders. As such this inspiration might suggest Mars Attacks! has little by way of plot, but for anyone with a weakness for vintage schlock sci-fi it’s a true Technicolor treat. This must certainly include the Misfits and when they reformed, they did so without the blessing of founder Glenn Danzig, but with their monster movie obsessions intact – among a multitude of horror movie tributes on their ‘97 comeback album ‘American Psycho’ was ‘Mars Attacks’ (and even an instrumental coincidentally titled ‘Abominable Dr Phibes’!)

I Was A Teenage Werewolf (1957) The drive-in movies of the 50s and 60s typically featured juvenile delinquents or monsters, and this bargain-basement effort delivered both in one lurid package. Before becoming ‘Pa’ on TV’s Little House on the Prairie Michael Landon stars as a troubled teen – though when he starts growing hair in strange places, it’s more than just hormones to blame. A howl from beginning to end, Teenage inspired a number on ‘Songs the Lord Taught Us’, the ‘80 debut from drive-in movie loving ghoulish rockers The Cramps.

Murder, mayhem and a right old mess

Minging Murderdoll tales from the Big Day Out

Who is the messiest Murderdoll of them all? Wednesday: “That would be Eric and The Ghoul. They are just messy as fuck. But you know you’ve just got to get used to living with these people. We’ve been on the road since July. You live on a bus for six weeks which means you’ve got (sic) live in everyone else’s shit.”

Who is the tidy anal doll? Joey: “No-one. We’re all pretty fuckin’ messy.” Wednesday: “I just took two garbage bags of mess out of my room. And just put it in the hallway. Just full of chicken bones and beer bottles and all sorts of shit like that, it was just smelling really bad so I had to get rid of it.”

So you do that yourself? Wednesday: “I don’t let the cleaning staff come into my room and tidy up. I put the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign for the whole week I am there.” Joey: “The housekeepers are scared shitless to come into our rooms anyway so we keep it easy for them and put the ‘Do Not Disturb” signs up the whole time. They are going to be so scared to come into our rooms and clean up after we’ve been there for a fuckin’ week!”

#metal hammer april 03 #interview #murderdolls #wednesday 13 #joey jordison #ben graves #eric griffin #acey slade #this thing is fucking 5500 words jesus christ

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bakingtherapy · 2 months ago

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Briella’s Winterfest Baking 21: Birthday Cake

Sul Sul, Gerbits. Today is a very special day for the Flores-Ponder household. We are celebrating not one, but two birthdays. Yes, Christian and Christopher are aging up into children.

Today we are going to be making an Italian Cream Cheese Cake. They both looked at pictures online and decided that this was the cake that they both wanted and because we wanted them to have two cakes, I am going to be making two of the same cake.

For the cake you are going to need:

butter

shortening

sugar

5 eggs that are separated

vanilla

flour

baking soda

buttermilk

shredded coconut

chopped nuts.

The recipe will be down in the description below, with the measurements.

For the frosting, you will need:

cream cheese

butter

confectioners’ sugar

vanilla

more chopped nuts.

The recipe calls for pecans, but I made this cake with walnuts and it tasted really really good.

The first thing you are going to do is preheat the oven to 350 degrees. You need to grease and flour three 9-inch baking pans. I used two cake bans. But just remember that this recipe is designed for 3 baking pans, so the baking time is going to be longer.

Grab a large bowl, you are going to cream the butter, shortening and granulated sugar until it is light and fluffy. You are going to beat in the egg yolks and vanilla.

Combine the flour and baking soda, in a separate bowl, add this to the creamed mixture; alternatively with the buttermilk. Beat mixture until just combined. Stir in coconut and the chopped nuts.

In another bowl, you are going to beat the egg whites until they are stiff but not dry. Slowly fold in one-fourth of the egg whites into the batter. Then fold in the rest of the remaining whites. After the egg whites are mixed into the batter, you are evenly going to pour it into the prepared pans.

Bake the cakes until a toothpick or knife inserted in the center comes out clean. For three layers the recipe says it is going to take 20-25 minutes. If you have two layers it is going to take approximately 40-45 minutes. After the cakes come out clean you are going let them cool in their pans for 10 minutes. After that you are going to put them onto a wire rack so that they can cool completely.

Now onto the frosting. Gerbits, you need to beat the cream cheese and butter together until it is smooth. Beat in the confectioner's sugar and vanilla until fluffy. You are going to stir in your chopped nuts. You are going to spread the frosting between the layers and over the top and sides of the cake. And refrigerate it before eating. That way the cake is cooled before eating.

This was a lot prettier than the carrot cake that I did a while ago. Either way, both of these cakes were fun. I am having a lot of fun doing this Winterfest baking. Even though Winterfest is over, I feel like I am going to be making a lot of baking videos in the future. I hope that you enjoy and have fun watching these videos. I hope to see all you lovely Gerbits next time! Vadish, Dag Dag!

Show the original author some 💖💖💖Taste of Home

Printable version of this recipe: on the blog

Feel free to support me on:

Patreon / Kofi / Facebook / Pinterest

#baking #baking therapy #recipe sharing #sweets #dessert #cakes #cream cheese #birthday cakes #desserts #cake decorating #bakeblr #baking recipes #baking ideas

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tarot-junkie · 1 year ago

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The Best Roasted Chicken Ever

Soooo. I'm gonna post the recipe and try not to be obnoxious....this came from a newspaper many moons ago, clipped out by my parents. Since then, it's shifted....there's thing I *personally* would recommend doing differently.....so I'll include those here:

Ingredients:

-4 chicken breasts with bone/skin (truth be told, we switched this to chicken thighs and have not been disappointed)

-1 clove garlic*

-1 tsp. Minced Fresh Parsley (...you can get the packaged stuff lol)

-1/4 tsp. Crushed dried oregano

-1 tsp Dijon mustard*

-2 tsp Fresh Lemon Juice

-2 TBs Olive Oil

-Salt/Pepper

Preheat the oven to 350. Line pan with chicken (recommend foil on the pan, unless you have a drip tray type of pan). Mix together all other ingredients, stir well. Flip the chickens over (so, bottoms up!), spoon it on, smooth it around a bit. Flip them over again, spoon it on the top of the chicken, covering all sides. Use more sauce on the top than on the bottom. I don't rub the mixture in DEEPLY....just spoon 'er on and smooth it around. This will get cooked for at least one hour. In one version of the old-school instructions, you cover/tent the chicken, cook for 20 mins. Remove the tent, cook for 40 mins. (read below....i don't do this haha).

OK. SOME NOTES:

-Typically we increase the amount of sauce we make depending on the size of the chickens. Ex: we used 8 smaller chicken thighs the other night, and this recipe was then made x5. If not, you didn't get a good coat on the chicken. It's really easy to make the mixture, so if you need to throw together some more, no big deal.

-This version of the recipe gives you more of an oil-based mixture....so in truth, we prob add about 2-3 more tsp of Dijon mustard. Meaning it becomes more mustard based/thicker FOR SURE. You'll be able to see this if you make it. Juuuuust be very liberal/extra with it (the mustard), trust me, it works. It's way better in flavor.

-Same note for garlic....we usually make it so that its +mustard and + garlic. I'd love to give you a measurement....and maybe its 2 ish more tsp of garlic as well (on the last package, 1 clove = 1 tsp)

-we stopped doing the tent and stick to close the the 1 hour....though AGAIN....the other night, it was in the oven for 1.5 hours. (and being that they were thighs, no problem). The goal is to get a nice brown skin on there....crusty if possible. In the past we used to burn it....eeeever so slightly. also delicious. I've not tried this mixture with boneless/skinless.

In other words....i gave you a recipe....now go fix it HAHA.

The smell during cooking is one to be experienced. it's so SO SOSOSOSOSO good!

Hope someone tries it :)

#recipes

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noodyl-blasstal · 6 months ago

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Cool, Calm, and Collegiate - Chapter 4

Day 4 of @blupjeansweek is the prompt "Duet." I went with a classic.

Read below or on Ao3. Catch up with yesterday's here if you missed it.

“Are you going to go tonight?” Lucretia asks. “I know how much you love to socialise.” She smiles so he knows she’s only joking with him.

He laughs along with her softly, but doesn’t answer.

“Barry?”

“Uh…” He looks into the crowd and finds Lup. She smiles brightly enough that he forgets a bit of the panic he’s feeling.

“I’m in.” He hears Lup say from across the room.

“Yeah. Er, yeah, I think I will.” Barry turns back and nods at Lucretia, who has the grace to wipe the shock off her face quickly.

“Big fan of…” Lucretia pauses and glances at Lup. “... singing, are you?”

“I’m not a singer, but people are always telling me I should be more social.” Barry shrugs and tries not to look too defensive.

“Okay… well, you should know that I double checked the policies and it’s not against any of the guidance.” Lucretia says, as if Barry’s supposed to know what she’s talking about.

“Singing?” Barry asks. If there’s an anti-karaoke policy then he absolutely needs to know so that he can read it and find out the story behind it.

Lucretia gives him a long, searching look. “You don’t think there’s anything else there might be a policy about which I think is relevant?”

Barry thinks… and thinks… and thinks. “Nothing that comes to mind.”

“Okay Barry, good luck. Sing something fun for me.” Lucretia pats him on the arm and pushes him towards the summer staff. Davenport is already there.

“I think it’s good to show the staff you’re not some terrifying tenured monster with a fancy office and no more compassion.” Davenport says by way of greeting.

“They think I’m a terrifying tenured monster with a fancy office and no more compassion?” Barry asks, he’s alarmed at the concept. How could anyone think he didn’t care, Barry exuded caring, well, okay, maybe he can be slightly gruff, but he carries tissues in case he sees students crying (a worryingly common occurrence on campus around examination period)! He cares so deeply.

Davenport cocks his head. “Not you personally, you know, just the machine of it all. We’re big scary cogs now. Not the little ones doing laps and laps to help us turn.”

Barry doesn’t even begin to know how to reply.

“Oh, here we are.” Davenport disappears into the crowd as the sound of a very enthusiastic version of YMCA slams into them.

Barry’s soon absorbed into another group though, one he wishes he wasn’t part of.

“It’s so nice that you feel comfortable enough to come out with the other staff.” Lydia says at his elbow.

“Honestly, it’s so brave.” Edward says from the other side.

“Thanks.” Barry replies gruffly. He tries hard not to let the exhaustion seep into his voice, but he’s 48, there’s nothing these two can do to him that bullies didn’t do at school 40 years ago and 30 years ago, and if he’s honest, 20 years ago. Barry’s frankly tired of their behaviour.

“So how long have you and Lup been together?” Lydia asks.

Barry is fairly sure he mishears. “We’ve known each other for nine years.”

“Oh, fascinating, long term. Is that why she was allowed to teach on the programme?”

Barry turns sharply and Lydia’s smile is perfectly in place, and perfectly poisonous.

“I don’t make recruitment decisions, but Dr Tacco’s CV is very impressive and I believe she was one of the first hires this year.” Barry uses his most measured tone in the hope it doesn’t betray exactly how angry he is. How dare they imply that Lup doesn’t deserve her place here. She’s smashing all of her teaching, he knows that for a fact (he’s seen the feedback and observed some of her sessions). She’s creative, passionate, and knowledgeable. The perfect person to be teaching the topics they’re looking at. The twins however, they’re certainly wow-ing some of the students, but they seem to kick up negative energy everywhere they go. Their classes have higher instances of bullying, bigger disparities in learning, and less support for students with accessibility needs than any of the others. They could only wish they were more like Lup.

“Maybe a diversity quota. They do have some people here with… interesting backgrounds.” Edward muses loudly.

Barry resists the obvious trap, although it’s difficult. “I’m sorry you think that way, Edward. It must be difficult being so concerned with backgrounds and unable to look past that. Anyway, I’m going to get a drink.”

He leaves as fast as he can and hopes the bar isn’t in the opposite direction. He finds it just as Davenport takes the stage to croon out the beginning of Sail On by The Commodores. Barry would stop to listen, but he’s scared the twins will get him again.

By the time he’s armed with a gigantic novelty cocktail in a hollow pineapple (he asked for what was good assuming it’d be a house beer or something), Sloane and Hurley are singing a particularly avant-garde version of Telephone. “I’ll have one of whatever that is.” Lup says to the bar tender, pointing enthusiastically at Barry’s pineapple.

“You can have this one if you want it?”

“Nah, it’s more fun if you have to drink it.”

“It tastes like sugar.”

“Exactly. Delicious!”

He shakes his head, takes a long sip of his drink, and relaxes. Lup’s good for him.

Once the drink’s in her hand she’s tugging him towards the stage. “Let’s find the book!”

“Okay?” Barry lets himself be dragged along. He’s not entirely sure what kind of book she needs right now, but he’s not one to argue with the impulse to read.

“There!” Lup points at a table to the side of the stage and drags him faster.

Once they arrive she’s immediately flicking through the pages. “Could you pass me a slip please?” She asks, reaching out her hand without looking away from the book.

Barry spies a stack of small papers further down the table. “These?”

“Perfect, thanks.” She scribbles on it while he waits. “Now you go!” Lup nudges the book towards him.

He flips the pages gingerly. They’re lists of songs, which, in hindsight makes sense, because he obviously agreed to come here, to the place where karaoke happens, which generally does involve singing.

Barry looks up. “Lup, I don't know what I'm doing…” Barry knows he sounds irrational, but how is he supposed to do this? It'd be mortifying to embarrass himself in front of the other teaching staff, even more so in front of Lup. He wants her to think positively about him. It's important.

“No one does.” Lup says and smiles like it's that simple.

“No, I really really don't know… which song…? How do I…?” His questions keep cutting themselves off before he can even really ask them.

“Hey, woah! Cha’girl’s got ya. This isn't about knowing what you're doing or being good or any of that. It's all attitude, my dude. Gotta just sell it.’

“What if I haven't got anything to sell?” Barry asks, because honestly, he's got no idea what his karaoke wares would even be.

Lup considers him for a moment, scrutinising him like he’s a particularly tricky puzzle. “Do you want to sit this out?”

“No.” He says quickly. He’d say it surprises him, but he doesn’t know that it does. He’s been feeling more adventurous, more sure of himself, more confident. He can try this, it’s fine if he doesn’t like it, but he’s a scientist, he’s gotta try.

“Are you sure, because I’ll never force you to do something you’re not comfortable with and I know this is outside your usual wheelhouse.” There’s so much concern in her face, it’s nice to feel so cared about.

“I’m trying new things.” Barry raises his pineapple to emphasise the point.

“Can’t argue with pineapples.” Lup says. “Okay, how about we sing something together?”

“Together?”

“You and I. Can’t fall off the karaoke tightrope if I’m holding you up.” Lup raises herself onto her tiptoes and demonstrates her imaginary tightrope prowess.

“What if I pull you down when I fall?” Barry’s still not entirely convinced.

“It’s karaoke, people love it when you fuck up.” Lup replies, unphased.

“Oh.” Well if it’s that simple.

“Honestly, the worst you can be is mediocre, which is also fine.” Lup shrugs.

“Okay.” Barry says. “I’ll do it.”

“Okay you’ll sing with me?” Lup sounds delighted. It’s nice to know he brought her that joy.

“Yeah. Yeah, what shall we sing?” Barry glances down at the page he’s on. “There’s the Monster Mash… that’s about science?”

“So it has to be about science for you to sing it with me?” Lup pretends to look horrified. Well, he hopes she’s pretending.

“No, I just…”

“I cannot believe our friendship is nothing but grave robbing and reanimating corpses to you.” Lup wipes an imaginary tear from her eye.

“How about…” Barry flips some more pages.” …She Blinded Me With Science?”

“I’m your hot Japanese lab assistant?”

“Good point, nevermind.” Barry flips past that, keeps flipping, finishes the book and starts again.

“C’mon, you’ve got this.”

“Erm… okay, hear me out… Short Skirt, Long Jacket?”

“I do like to cut through red tape.” Lup looks pleased.

“So we’ll do that one? Together?”

“That’s the idea.”

“Okay. That’s good. We can just do that.” Barry starts writing the song title on the scrap of paper. “Er… how do we know who does which bit?”

“There’s not really rules. We can just sing all of it or split it up in advance if you want?”

“Next on up we have Lup and Barry Bluejeans. Give it up everybody!” There’s a smattering of polite applause.

“Oh… Sorry… I didn’t…” he had thought using the silly name would make her smile, but he’s definitely inadvertently made it sound like they were married instead. Thankfully Lup’s laughing too hard to look upset about it.

“C’mon.” She marches towards the stage.

“Are you the Bluejeanses?” The man who looks like space Elvis asks.

“Yep.” Lup says without missing a beat. Barry’s stomach clenches, probably nerves.

“Here you go then.” He hands them the microphones.

“It’ll come up on the screen there.” Lup points as she passes him a microphone. “Don’t worry about perfect, they can smell weakness, just make it fun, you got dance moves? Crack ‘em out.”

Barry has dance moves, he does, but he’s not entirely sure what’s okay and what isn’t. He’ll just stay relatively still, maybe some gentle rocking. It’ll be fine.

–

“NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH, NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH!” Lup yells into the mic as Barry gets a bit of breath back from the leaping. He’s gotta be ready for the next chorus. He finally figured out the back bend.

“I like a girl with a short skirt, and an looooooooooooooooooooooooooooong…” Lup sings as Barry bends back to lay a hand partially on the floor.

“Jacket!” He shouts happy and inverted.

–

“That was incredible.” Barry laughs as they leave the stage.

“Those dance moves Barry! Sildar’s been holding out on me.” Lup sounds positively delighted, it's nice that she's laughing with him. There's no sense of her mocking him.

“Well… They’re hard to explain without music… uh… you know.” Barry gestures flippantly.

“Hey, if you don’t wanna talk about it then fine. But we’re doing the Monster Mash next. I’ve already got the slip.”

“Who am I to argue with the perfect plan?” Barry grins his most Frankenstein-esque grin. This being social stuff had caught on in a flash.

–

Heeeellllllllllooooooo ‘Ko!

Thought I’d stopped? Think again! That’s right, there’s nothing but postcards, baby. I’ve got a bunch of stamps and I’m not afraid to use them. I know I already sent you the video, but singing with Barry was hilarious. He’s nearly as good a duet buddy as you, though obviously not as good, that goes without saying (but I’ll say it anyway or you’ll be mad.)

The ridiculous drinks are perfect and I’ll have to take you if you do come visit. Bring Kravitz if you’re worried about missing him while you’re gone (I know, I know, you don’t even care, it’s definitely not about that… now tell me how many nights you’ve spent alone in the last month?) But seriously, I’m glad you’re happy. You deserve it!

Love you!

Lup xxxxxxx

I hope you enjoyed reading! Want the next installment? Find it here.

#BlupjeansWeek2024 #Noodyl Writes #Blupjeans #Barry Bluejeans #Lup #TAZ #TAZ Balance #Taz balance spoilers #I kept falling asleep while trying to proof read so I'm really sorry if this one has gone a bit wonky

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deusvervewrites · 2 years ago

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So, I've been thinking about Bakugou (again) and I realized that one thing that irritates me is how much it feels like Horikoshi is/was trying to have his Cake and eat it too with Bakugous arc.

He wants him to have a redemption arc, which is good, Bakugou is nowhere near the irredeemable villain zone, but he also wants him to be a Measuring Stick for Izuku and others, a goal for them to work towards and more of a Rival instead of a villain, and that BEFORE he's had his redemption arc. And as a result he REALLY doesn't want to put him through the wringer or have him fall in the way that the best redemption arcs need.

For example, Zukos redemption arc worked so well BECAUSE he didn't switch sides in Ba Sing Se in season 2, he had to get everything he wanted back at the cost of everything that actually mattered and then had to realize how empty he now felt and that the had made the wrong choice. That's why his redemption works so well. The same can be said for Catra from the 2018 version of She-Ra: She could have switched sides in season 3, but instead she doubled down and rose higher in power while falling even deeper as a character, only to end up all alone and powerless and lost. And that's why her redemption works.

But Bakugou... He isn't allowed to ever really fall, to fuck up one time too much and look back and see the trail of errors in his wake. We get close to that several times, but he is always pulled back up, because "he is just the rival and their classmate, he isn't really an antagonist, this would be bad, right?". Which not only sabotages his potential redemption, it also has the unfortunate side-effect that some of his worst behaviors are implicitly enabled and/or normalized.

The worst part?

There was a perfect opportunity in the Ground Beta fight after the Provisional Licensing Exams. Had Bakugou, after Kamino and failing the Exams and everything else that happened at UA, lost that fight against Izuku, it could have been the perfect catalyst for him to finally reexamine his biases and opinions.

But no. Bakugou magically has zero issues keeping up with 8% Full Cowl Shoot Style Izuku and actually wins that fight AND is then essentially encouraged in his opinions by the teachers.

God damn it.

I think Zuko and Catra are both interesting comparisons

Zuko doesn't realize that he's doing the wrong thing until late Season 2, and he still backslides when given the opportunity for his father's approval. It's not until he has it that he realizes that he doesn't actually like having it.

Catra starts the series well aware that she is the bad guy, and she doesn't care because all she cares about is Adora. She hits her rock bottom somewhere either during the finale of Season 3 or throughout Season 4 depending on your interpretation. Overly Sarcastic Productions has an entire 40 minute breakdown of her arc in Season 4 and how it parallels a protagonist, leaving them both at their lowest and trapped together for the start of Season 5.

(OSP has also discussed redemption arcs on multiple occasions, and specifically cite Zuko's arc by noting how we are constantly introduced to him in sympathetic circumstances, such as interacting with Zhao and humanized through Iroh.)

Both of them get what they think they want and come to realize that what it's not what they actually wanted at all. I've heard it said that Bakugou only wins when it's not important but that's really... not true. I've mentioned before in passing that the school format means that the student characters have limited agency in the narrative. Saying that the Battle Trials wasn't winning in a way that matters is not quite true because the school year will continue regardless of who wins or loses or how. The closest thing we ever really see to Bakugou deciding he doesn't like the way he's succeeding is his internship with Best Jeanist.

There is never really a moment where Bakugou gets what he wants and decides that he really doesn't want it. The only way he could have a moment like that is reaching the Number One Hero spot or something to that effect.

But that's not the only way to do an arc like this. I go on and on about it, but Infinity Train Season 3 really is that good about showing off Redemption Arcs.

Bakugou's whole thing is that he recognizes the flaws in his own behavior without outside input, which is interesting, especially in a shonen, which generally has the kid characters do all the work since that's the target age demographic. Yeah it makes UA come across as a worse institution but that's par for the course in Magical School Young Adult Fiction.

The real issue is that we don't get to see a lot of that reflection. He gives a speech about why he had to be the one to end All Might... while dragging Midoriya out past curfew to beat him up. His final Hero Name is worse and gaudier than the joke names he gave at the start. He nearly failed the Final Exam because he wanted to just attack All Might over and over, and he is currently getting field heart surgery because he... attacked Shigaraki. Over and over.

The closest we get to him showing indications of responsibility is when we get a fucking flashback in the War Arc* to him telling All Might that he used to bully Midoriya, and when he identifies that Midoriya will always put other people before himself without ever mentioning why exactly, the person who he personally called Useless for eleven years might not have great self-esteem, but also I can recognize that Horikoshi does not want to tell a story with themes of mental health, and to complain that the story lacks those elements is not a valid reading of the text.

I feel like Bakugou has a lot of narrative potential in a lot of different aspects of My Hero Academia, but he's not really being used as effectively as he could be. I maintain that him losing his Quirk during this arc but becoming a Hero anyway would be fucking rad

*The sins of the War Arc are incalculable, but the most prominent one is that they skipped over four fucking months to get there and then had to keep flashing back to all the important things that happened

#asks #meta

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kurakurakura99 · 1 year ago

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Just read your post on AC6 about how connected you were to your AC. And I just gotta ask how you got that feeling? I've a good amount of posts about this same thing, such a deep connection to your mech, but I never got it. I want that feeling, to truly be one with a 40 ton war machine, yet to me my AC is still just that, a machine.

Even my PvP AC which is getting close to Mark 15 now is still just a tool for me. Like I love that AC and my lastest version is fucking genius imo the love is more like the love I have for my emotional support hammer (yes I have one sue me).

Sorry for venting randomly to you about this but like reading that part on your post about how changing parts on your AC felt wrong during a boss fight made me think about my toughest boss in the game. Not saying the name cause spoilers but it was beating my ass hard. After I realized my build wouldn't work the first thing I did was start changing parts, and even when I used the meta ones nothing worked. In the end like 2 days later I beat the boss, not by swapping back to my original design, but by using a pair or weapons that are entirely overlooked. But even after all that I didn't feel that connection to my AC, a newfound respect for the twin active homing missiles but once again only in the way I would respect a wrench that finally fits onto an annoying bolt.

So like how do you get so close to your AC, how did you get that connection with it? How can I get it?

Find common ground with your mech. its deeply personal, like I said, but I empathize with Capable so much because we are both Objects, means to an end. There is a certain kinship to be found, conceptually, between a person who has been dehumanized as much as I have and a machine. Theres also a measure of...sentimentality? that you have to approach building them with. My girlfriend is baffled by how Capable is put together. I use the DESSERT legs because they got big fucking paws and fat thighs, like I do. I picked her arms soley because they would hit harder with my Pile Bunker (Itself a dubious weapon choice for late game, some may claim) and it had a nice, flat surface to write "Forgiveness" on. Getting a little whimsical with it led to Capable being, frankly, a freaky little mech with weird issues when it came to boosts and mobility. Having something that didn't move like a more optimized design helped really cement her in my mind as a partner and not a tool. AC6 feeling by and large, much easier and accomodating to player expression compared to the rest of the games I've played in the series, makes this much more feasible. Beyond that, even a simple change of language towards your mech helps:I avoid using "It" for Capable, ever, and she is only "my mech" when I'm talking to someone who doesn't know her by name yet and needs the context of what the fuck I'm talking about. Otherwise, She is Capable.

These are tips I guess but. its just something that happens naturally for me so its hard to give anyone tips on how to force it

#Armored core 6 #Asks #Local woman perhaps too attached to a fictional machine (Its real to her)#On the real you don't want whatever I've got. The fact that you don't have that connection to your AC #Probably means your a little healthier than me

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leagueofgardens · 1 year ago

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The Chairwoman of Yurigaoka

This is Yuyu and Riri's Schutzengel contract, which Riri proudly shows off in Episode 3 of Assault Lily: Bouquet. I don't think any English version of Bouquet translated it. If they had, it would say this at the bottom:

Witnesses Yurigaoka Girls' Academy Chairwoman—Takamatsu Shiera Yurigaoka Girls' Academy Acting Chairman—Takamatsu Kogetsu

Who's Takamatsu Shiera?

Let's find out.

The Battle of Antarctica

First, we need to talk about the Battle of Antarctica.

Actually, we know so little about it that "Battle" may not even be the right translation. It could have been a series of battles, or an entire war (the Japanese word is ambiguous.)

What we do know is that it happened before any of the Lilies currently in their first year of high school were born, so no later than 2036 (Bouquet volunteered the information with extreme reluctance, but the current year in it is 2052.) An Ultra-class Huge was spotted in Antarctica, so several thousand people went there to fight it.

In the end, less than 10% of those people survived. Nevertheless, the Battle of Antarctica was considered the first decisive conflict against the Huge, whatever that means. It might be because they won, or it might be because some equipment still being used in the present day (like the "Anti-Huge Weapons" used by Madecs) was first jury-rigged up in the field in Antarctica.

The survivors of Antarctica are world-famous heroes and still have strong bonds with one another. They included Tazusa's parents, Miriam's parents, a number of teachers and other staff at Yurigaoka, Takamatsu Kogetsu, and Takamatsu Shiera.

Antarctica is shown in a brief flashback in episode 11 of Bouquet. This is where the screenshot above is from.

Male CHARM Users

While it's not that relevant to the topic of Shiera, the list of survivors above might make you wonder what Tazusa's dad, Miriam's dad, and Kogetsu were doing in Antarctica. The answer is "fighting alongside the Lilies there." Or perhaps it's more accurate to say that they were Lilies (though we don't know if the term was in use yet at the time.)

If you have a really good memory, you might remember a passing mention of "Skiller Values" in episode 7 of Bouquet. Skiller Values are a measurement, on a scale of 0 to 100, of how effectively a person's body can channel magie. You need a Skiller Value of at least 50 to activate a CHARM and be a Lily. Lilies' Skiller Values go up to 98, and are commonly above 85 when they're in their prime.

Men sometimes have Skiller Values of 50 (but no higher, ever), and can activate CHARMs. A handful of sources call these "male Lilies," though it's more common for them to be called "male CHARM users." Some were present at Antarctica, including Kogetsu, and Tazusa's dad. Miriam's dad has a Skiller Value of 40 and couldn't use a CHARM, so he fought with the Anti-Huge Weapons built by an Arsenal named Debora, later Debora von Gropius (after the two of them came back from Antarctica and got married.)

Male CHARM users can't fight the tougher varieties of Huge effectively, nor use the Neunwelt Tactic at all, so eventually people stopped giving men CHARMs (they're really expensive to build after all.) But there was a time, early on, when men fought the Huge too.

Takamatsu Shiera

There are were no pictures of Shiera, so have another picture of Fumi instead for no reason

Sorry for the tangent. Let's get back on topic. Though the amount I can tell you about Shiera herself is somewhat limited.

Shiera is Kogetsu's older sister. She fought in Antarctica as a Lily. She has a Rare Skill called "Amatsukami" that to our knowledge no one else does; we don't even know what it does or if she's ever used it.

After Shiera returned from Antarctica, she and quite a few of the other survivors of Antarctica became staff members at Yurigaoka Girls' Academy. Yurigaoka already existed prior to this (it's existed since the Taisho era,) but it's unknown when it transitioned from being an ordinary girls' school into a Garden. It couldn't have been that much earlier than Antarctica itself, because the Huge only appeared around the year 2000.

Currently, Shiera is in poor health, and spends most of her time convalescing. Her brother Kogetsu, as the acting chairman of Yurigaoka, has been doing her job for the most part.

Shiera is a Boosted Lily, and she hates being one. In my previous blog post, I mentioned a Boosted Lily who said "I don't want anyone else to become like me"; that's Shiera. It's because of Shiera herself that Yurigaoka is anti-GEHENA to the point of breaking Lilies out of GEHENA labs. Some sources mention that, because she fought in Antarctica together with Tazusa's father, Shiera personally arranged for Tazusa to be rescued from GEHENA.

Like most Boosted Lilies, Shiera has a Boosted Skill. I mentioned that in my previous post, too:

Nosferatu, which causes a Lily to stop visibly aging and halts the decline of her magie capacity as well. Only one Lily has ever been given this Boosted Skill successfully.

Futagawa Fumi (she has a Twitter account where she tells us a lot of stuff) claims that she's seen Shiera before. According to Fumi, she looks like she's around twenty years old and is "beautiful, but has this super intimidating aura around her."

And that's pretty much all we know. She's still very mysterious, huh?

But I hope you found all this interesting.

(If you somehow ended up reading the original version of this post, check the reblogs for an important update.)

#assault lily #asslily #assault lily lore #takamatsu shiera #By the way we don't know who Tazusa's mother is. Only that she fought at Antarctica #Her name has been erased from public records and no one will talk about her #There's no real evidence but my wild theory is that Shiera is Tazusa's mother

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kelp-my-beloved · 2 years ago

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What the hell is going on with False 2

AKA It got even more complicated.

This is a new version of this post because the lore got too complicated, a few points were practically answered, and new questions appeared. Let's hope this one last longer.

Basically, I'm trying to summarize all the unanswered questions in falsesymmetry lore, and summarise the mistery. If you think I should add something, feel free to let me know or make your own addition.

So, I've summarized the mistery into a few points that I think a good theory should be able to answer, the key points to the lore.

(Quick notes:

e!False = empires' False

h!False = hermitcraft's False)

E!False's clothes: On episode two, e!False finds a dead guy and steals their clothes, and that's how she got her iconic look. Where did they come from? Who are they?

Those Weird Signs: Here's a post with all the signs to keep as reference. Who is putting them? What do they mean?

Pumpkin Jack: That bloody Pumpkin with so little lore. He was seen in Gobland, and then on Cogsmeade on episode 4. Jack moves around as he pleases, which got him in jail by episode 9. On episode 10, he's found murdered, and in compensation set free on a wheat field. He seems to get stronger as he eats. Plus, Joe Hills made a few pumpkin references on his episode 40 of hermitcraft. Who is this guy and what's his deal?

e!False murders: We saw her murder Pixlriffs and IJevin, and we know she murdered another False at some point, and Cojomax99 though we havent seen that last one on empires. She confesses to having murder impulses on episode 15, and on episode 7 after killing Sausage on self defense, she describes something coming over her that made her do it.

e!False and h!False deal: A headache. h!False confesses having erased e!False's memories, though it apparently didnt fully work. e!False on the 15th episode seems to have a negative opinion of her, and h!False calls the other one evil and dangerous. e!False often has flashbacks that includes them both in some sort of lab.

Gathered resources: Often, resources that e!False needs just appear out of nowhere. She seems to think she does this while asleep, or at least while being unconcious, as they are often related to dreams she has.

Glitchs/Flashbacks/Visions: Basically, what do each one of them mean.

Rift and Tower Electric Shock: When e!False gets a little too close to the spy tower h!False built, she gets a little electric shock. We can guess this is one of the security measures h!False talks about putting in place. However, h!False had her own electric shock when she got too close to the rift back in Hermitcraft before it was ready to be crossed. Nobody else seemed to have that problem in either front though.

Why does e!False insist that time is running out?

e!False past: This refers to why she has no memories, what did she do to get h!False to call her evil, and how she ended up in Empires.

Credits to @gayofthewoods for the Lore Sign post!

Once again, feel free to make your additions or point out anything I might have missed

#empires smp #empires 2 #hermpires #empirescraft #hc x esmp #falsesymmetry #false lore

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amewinterswriting · 2 years ago

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Chorizo Stew Recipe

For @ashen-crest, who expressed interest and anyone else who might want to give this a try.

A general note - this is not something you have to follow by rote. You can adjust virtually everything in this recipe: ingredients, cooking time, method, spices and it will still come out great. It's also a really simple recipe: one pot (less washing up!), about 10 minutes of prep time (great for low spoon and effort days) and doesn't need constant supervision once cooking (so great for getting anything else done in the meantime). It can also be really cheap and most of the ingredients are shelf-stable (chorizo is already a preserved meat and will last longer than you think) so it doesn't need to be planned for especially and it's packed full of vegetables so it's pretty dang healthy.

I suggest using a dutch oven - they hold their heat well, are oven-safe and have a lid - but I've also used Pyrex dishes before. The important thing is an oven-safe vessel that can hold a lot - this is a big meal and you usually wind up with leftovers.

Ingredients:

Chorizo sausage (the whole link if you can find it - apparently it was really difficult to find in my wife's hometown in the States, she made do with a minced version. There's usually both a hot and mild version - feel free to use whichever one speaks to you/the preferences of everyone else eating this)

Tomatoes (tinned - I prefer pre-chopped but follow your heart. If you have a glut of home-grown tomatoes, use those if you want)

Sweetcorn (frozen, canned, whatever you have)

Onions (fresh or frozen - we love the ease of the frozen pre-chopped ones but use what needs using at any given time)

Optional additional vegetables and pulses (whatever you have lurking around in cupboards. This dish is great for using up beans, chickpeas and lentils)

Garlic (fresh, granules, salt...there really isn't a wrong way to garlic)

Paprika (hot or mild, choose your own adventure!)

Pasta

Optional cheese (to serve. A mature/sharp cheddar goes well but really, any 'melty' cheese will be great)

Method:

Chop chorizo, onions and garlic (if using fresh). Add to dutch oven. Add everything except pasta and cheese. Seriously, dump it all in to one pot. I told you this was simple. Also add about a tomato can worth of water (which is a great way to rinse your can and get all the tomato juice into your meal instead of in the bin). At this point it might look like a watery mess - trust the method. You'll need that water later. With the lid on, cook in an oven at 180°C (Gas Mark 4, Moderate, 350°F) for at least 40 minutes but you can leave this longer to develop more flavor and make chorizo more tender, just make sure it doesn't dry out. Add pasta 20 minutes before serving and return to oven. Add additional water if needed - all pasta should be underneath the liquid and there should be enough liquid for the pasta to absorb. Serve in bowls with a topping of cheese if desired.

There are no measurements for ingredients: this dish doesn't really need a strict proportion so I've not included them. It's adjustable for how many vegetables you want, how many people you are feeding, etc. This can also easily be made vegan/vegetarian with simply removing the chorizo and cheese as needed - just adjust with more paprika and garlic to get the same hit of flavor. I've made this dish a lot of different ways (chicken breast instead of chorizo, for example), lots of different beans, no beans, no corn) and it's always really good. I did some quick maths using Tesco prices and this works out at about £2 per very hearty portion including absolutely everything but Aldi/Lidl are much cheaper for most ingredients. If you use gluten free pasta, it's obviously more expensive (add 25p per portion). But for the most part, the ingredients shouldn't need to be bought - this is a way to use up tins of things you'd forgotten about or just have a surplus of on hand.

#ame talks #not writing #recipe #not my usual thing

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learningnewways · 2 years ago

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Second Day

After a busy first day meeting the team, we had a much shorter day today, visiting a local church and a family from that church who live in a slum.

There are 11 people living in their tiny house, which is essentially a shack. The house would probably be around 15m2, all one open room with bedding, clothing and cooking equipment altogether. Children sleep on the floorboards or under the house on hammocks, as the house is built on poles since it floods in the rainy season. They share a toilet with many other families, so around 50-70 people. People “shower” with no privacy, it really is communal living. It was humbling to be invited into their home and to see how they live. It felt like I was in the movie Slumdog Millionare, but Cambodian version, sitting in their tiny shack with a tin roof and a communal toilet.

It’s interesting to be back in a third world country, walking through slums and meeting locals. It’s hard to see how they live, knowing there’s not going to be change anytime soon. Children sleeping altogether on mouldy floorboards next to rubbish and mud, very vulnerable to sickness and exploitation. It’s also hard to know what to do to help, to provide support that is actually helpful and going to change lives positively. Giving handouts is seldom a good thing and given that we’re here so short term, quality relational work is also a bit difficult. Luckily, Q used to be a builder, so he is proving to be very helpful over here. The team knew Q’s skill set, and knew this family’s home, or shack as we would call it, needs some work, so we’ve organised for him to help out.

While we were visiting with them, looking at what needed to be done and hearing about their family, they asked us to pray for them. I honestly didn’t know what to say, and just looked over at Q giving him the, “this ones all yours” look! The family are Christians too and when you see the way they live, their circumstances and how despite all of that, they are faithful to God, it makes you feel pretty stink about your own faith or lack there of. When they asked us to pray for them, you could tell they were so excited to have white people praying for them. Even though they spoke no English so couldn’t understand our prayers. It felt weird to be seen as somehow more spiritual or qualified to pray for them than others, as we are no better than them. Perhaps it was simply that people saw them as people worth caring about that made them happy? They said they had been praying for help with their house and that we were an answer to prayer. Wow. That was incredible.

The temperature over here is around 35-40 most days, so their little house was very hot, even with the fan on. Only around 20% of homes in the villages have aircon or refrigeration of any sort, and power itself is super expensive. In both homes we visited, they turned on the fan only once we arrived. Most houses we’ve seen have connection to power or solar panels for charging phones and operating fans. It’s so interesting that everyone has cellphones and dresses so nicely, yet live in such hard conditions. It was the same in The Gambia. You’d never know their living conditions based on their appearance. When they’re in the slums and villages it does look like it, but when they go out, they put on their best clothes and look just like everyone else. I was even surprised by S’s standard of living, because when we first met he had such a nice backpack and what looked to be a brand new shirt, it was so clean and tidy.

After our visit to the family, we went to a hardware store to source building materials so Q can fix their flooring, as it is rotting and uneven. Q is very happy to have a practical way of helping out here. Not sure how helpful I’ll be with the project... I guess I can measure things... I’m surprised by the lack of English spoken here too, with only around 20% of the population speaking English. In The Gambia, almost everyone knows English, especially the younger generation. But over here you have to pay more to go to an English speaking school. To find such a highly tourism reliant city where the next generation don’t speak great English is fascinating.

It was a short day but still an important one. I always really appreciate visiting locals and seeing how they live. It reminds me of the excess I have and how much further our money goes over here. I know that going into locals homes is rare, that most Westerners and tourists don’t get that opportunity to see the reality of life. We are looking forward to getting stuck into this project, although the heat will be a big challenge!

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crystalelemental · 3 months ago

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Cyber Sleuth! I haven't been talking about it much, but have been playing constantly. I'm around...45 hours in? Or so? And great news! I have only 37 mons left before the whole database is filled, and I think am very few away from having everything that doesn't require Hacker's Memory to complete!

"Wait, you're not at Hacker's Memory yet? How...how far in are you?" Chapter 13. ...look, I got distracted, Avalon server was a good place to level so that took like a full day but I needed to alter natures before I could get some others and Chapter 13 gave another good grinding spot and I could buy the patches so we're doing round 2 now. It's fine.

I mention all this for context and as a warning. Everything I say must be filtered through the lens of me objectively playing the game wrong.

See, Digimon feels very distinct from other monster catching games, in that the sense of collecting all of them seems to be outright the wrong thing to do. Sure, Pokemon has similar issues, but more because of version exclusives, obtuse evolution methods involving trades, and the horrors of actually catching a legendary Pokemon. Digimon approaches things a bit differently.

In part, this difference is due to two stats: CAM and ABI. CAMaradarie is a measure of friendship. You increase it by 1 every battle they frontline, and can feed them Digimeat which is exorbitantly expensive for the shit amount of CAM it provides. It caps at 100%, and some evolutions require varying amounts, usually 10% for low levels, 50% for mid-tiers, and 80% for later tiers, but 100% is needed for two monsters that fuse together.

ABIlity is a measure of...uh...evolution? It goes up when you evolve up or down, with more points being added every increment of 5 levels. ABI requires 20, 40, or 80 in most situations, though there's the rare occurrence of 100 and 120 for really high-tier stuff. Mostly your solution is to evolve up then back down repeatedly to generate ABI, because it is not getting where it needs to go off a straight shot.

As someone who has spend [REDACTED] hours grinding levels for evolutions, these two scores are the bane of my goddamned existence. ABI feels like it's the significantly harder number to work with when playing normally, because the values are incredibly small, and 80 is a tall fucking order when you've reached endgame and have like 37 points on your starter (thing that happened to my wife). When you grind, however, CAM is your mortal enemy. Man, I am not rotating around who's in the front, I have PlatinumNumemon x2 and Angewoman for we can maximize EXP yields while still having someone who can fight good. Everything else is in the back. CAM sucks ass, because it's stupid slow if you don't already have the numbers working in your favor. Needing two at maximum then fusing them together is extra frustrating.

But even worse than that is the stats demanded of some evolutions. To some degree, I understand this. There are clear evolutionary paths. Lunamon -> Lekismon -> Crescemon -> Dianamon is a very clear bunny promotion in the same vein as most other monster catching games. However, given the wild branching of Digimon evolution, you can jump ship to another form along the way, should your stats be good enough. At times, this results in just needing to level more, while at others, it is outright impossible to achieve without training. This is sometimes understandable, but without any means of showing what else evolves into the thing you're missing, it's basically impossible to tell what the intended path is at times. Like...I forget what it became, but I had this little egg with legs mon that, with enough SP and INT, could evolve into something I didn't have. Eggmon is not good at either thing, but it came close at level 99. The only means of getting to that evolution would be finding something else entirely that somehow loops to it, or forcing the issue with training.

Problem: training is incomprehensible to me. At best, I understand a few factors that influence how Digimon train. See, to train, you put up to 10 Digimon in your Digifarm, and set them to train. They are unusable during this time, though you can interrupt to swap them out.

Step 1: set the level of training. Basic takes TWO HOURS and doesn't give a ton, but it's neutral otherwise. Because the harder training also drops CAM. So god help you if you need both stats and CAM.

Step 2: Set your Farm Equipment. You can boost how much stats go up when you train by setting equipment that boosts a particular stat. This equipment is fucked expensive.

Step 3: The equipment is basically useless unless you're already training that stat. See, it ups numbers, but does not determine what everyone trains. No, they train potentially two stats at once. The first is whatever the stat of your Leader is. If the Leader has, say, Lively, great news! Egg digimon is training its SP! But this also means that even with HP boosting equipment, your Infermon you needed to get a little more HP out of won't gain fuckall unless your leader has Durable. But wait! There's another means of training a stat, and that is by your own nature! Yes, it will only train the stat you are already good in, and the stat of your designated leader! Nothing else. As far as I'm aware. Nevermind that my wife somehow managed to evenly train a ton of stats, I'm assuming that's because they were Searcher or Builder.

Step 4: come back after half an hour and losing all your CAM to find that your stats stopped increasing anyway. Yeah, turns out your bonus stats are capped based on your ABI. At 200 ABI, which is a fucking disgusting number by the way, you get the maximum of 150 bonus points. Less ABI, less bonus stats. So unless you also farmed the ABI, those bonus stats may well not even apply anyway!

If it's not clear, I despise this system. It's excessively irritating and creates multiple obtuse roadblocks to finishing the database. Systems pull back and forth at each other and nothing feels like it'll stay done when you have so many areas of need.

But this is where we have to talk about why I'm playing the game wrong. See, again, Digimon is not much of a monster catching game. It's a RPG with a massive rotating cast. Their intent, I assume, is to just use the ones you attach to and beeline toward higher stages. If something requires high ABI, well, that's for NG+. You can loop back around that way if you'd like. But you're not, I don't think, supposed to sit here grinding for ages to boost up your ABI. You're supposed to look at Lilithmon as something unattainable without NG+ to build up ABI and stats. Because yeah, Lilithmon is one of those with stats legitimately too high without training.

In essence, if I had been playing this game correctly, I would've taken my Palmon, Lunamon, Renamon, etc. and just pushed them up the evolutionary paths, accepting whatever I got along the way, and only doubling back if the next step up had an ABI block or I didn't like the look of that route. It's a little more streamlined that way, and you're less likely to encounter the three-hour progress annihilator I hit.

See, evolution and de-evolution sets your level to 1, and regardless of how much of anything you built up, without bonus stats, you are still very much level 1. For much of the game, being high tier enough offsets this. But eventually you'll hit a boss that can't be hurt badly enough and you learn that you apparently haven't saved in three goddamned hours and lost a ton of progress OOPSIE DOODLES

It's also...probably supposed to be a measure against what I do, which is try to get coverage. Like okay, Palmon's main line is all Plant stuff. But! If I go up MudFrigimon -> Meteormon, I can get a magic Ground type attack, and that's Coverage. Which...does not matter. As it turns out. The Data/Vaccine/Virus designation is significantly more important than the type matchup. There are typeless mons that aren't in that triangle, and I guess that's when the element comes into play, but it feels largely like a waste. I'm also just kinda unimpressed with buffing broadly? Like, it's fine, but is a 10% off your base stats. Which is not very much most of the time, as it turns out! So mostly, all you need is one good attack (and a lot of final forms have signature moves of a different type than their main, so you'll have two anyway), some good heals/revives, and...that's kinda it. So yes, I am willing to admit I wasted my time "optimizing" some favorites for combat.

On the plus side, the story's pretty good. Yuuko is my favorite, to no one's surprise. Really wound up liking both Arata and Nokia, too. Suedou is hilarious, kinda love this dude. And now that the Digimon are present, I'm kinda here for the conflict with the Royal Knights and everything they've got going on. I think that's a lot of fun, in the same way it was a lot of fun when Nexomon had things like the Tyrant Wars or the Abyssals.

I should get back to story, but...I gotta get these mons in the dex. I gotta. I'm so close, you don't understand. It's like right there, I gotta do it.

#digimon cyber sleuth

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