#we learn through experimenting though
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I combined two good omens study club themes, tartan and a movie still. I decided to choose one from Little Women, which I have yet to watch
#it's a cosy art alas I dislike it#something about the artstyle rubs me the wrong way#we learn through experimenting though#I will (eventually) get better#my art#digital#good omens#ineffable husbands#perhaps one day we should go for a picnic#smitten I believe
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I don’t really talk about it much on here because I’m extremely lucky to be able to understand exactly what’s going on in my body, but it’s scary to live for years as someone who Gets Things Done in a way your peers don’t really understand, be putting effort into so many things you care about, and then suddenly lose the ability to do not only that but also basic tasks overnight after a deadline, and bit by bit after many. it’s scary getting really irritable sometimes to the point of violence, just when you were meant to be celebrating the rewards from your hard work, the only impact of the work you did that you can see is that you overdrafted your ability to do anything. including have a basic conversation without getting grumpy or crying. and your body is going to make you pay it back with interest, you already know that, but you don’t know how to start filling yourself back up. you’ve only ever enjoyed being on the grind, hard at work on exciting things.
I don’t know how many of you have been through the kind of burnout that’s years of needing 12hrs of sleep a night but with terrible insomnia, waking up to what feels like a hangover for weeks on end with little relief then rinse and repeat without having a single drink, feeling too sick to eat and needing to exercise to emotionally regulate but being unable to, anxiety that doesn’t come from worry but you’ll pick that up too at some point, dissociating every time you try to do mentally taxing tasks that you’re PAID for so it takes an hour of grounding yourself just to get five minutes worth of productive concentration, falling asleep the minute you feel a little safe by being in the presence of loved ones. but I suspect I’m not the only one.
I’ve had songs for the energetic and angsty times leading up to this. for the exasperated times and the brain fog and the times where all my limited energy is tied up in feeling things. that I need to, need to acknowledge, but it’s overwhelming and I live in a haze for weeks as a result of. songs telling of the kind of youth I wish I had, even when I was sold something else. songs for the months spent as a teenager trying to be there for my friends, worrying for them, distracting me from worrying for myself, trying to cling on to positivity and hope amongst it when I had to choose to make a discipline of always seeing that. I’ve had songs for healing and when healing is harder than expected and songs that have the right level of musical complexity to capture the layers of everything that’s happening in my head, making it sound good, telling me it’s gonna be okay.
I don’t know how I could ever say thank you for this. but I do know that I see parts of myself in the people behind these songs, of course I do, and I worry for them as a result and ache for them because it’s hard enough to feel this way when no one knows me or feels the need to control me or mould me into what they think I should be. I’d do anything to keep them all healthy and happy and all of their loved ones too and I don’t think it’s strange as a fan to take that seriously. I hope we can understand the need to treat them gently, and to while not questioning their privacy and the fact that they’re never going to tell us everything they go through, listen to our intuition when we catch something we relate to and treat what they’ve shared with us or hinted at with the dignity we would if someone we love told us something vulnerable. be kind in our expectations and be intentional in the fan culture we create because it does make its way back to them.
and the same goes with all of you. we’re bonding over the same things. I know a lot of this fandom is in the stage where interpersonal relationships are hard. we don’t mean to be grumpy of frustrated but we are. and I’m sending love to all of you. we can get through this together. it’s what they’ve always longed for isn’t it?
#thoughts after how worried I’ve been recently. since june I think#I’d love to start a conversation in this fandom about the connection im newly discovering between burnout and mental illness and fatigue#in a way we can be positive about these things and be there for each other without calling anyone to confirm if we interpret some songs#to represent experiences that may or may not be theirs because it doesn’t matter in the end. we have these songs and if you get it you get#we’ve all been clocked as ‘not feeling very well’ recently anyway so. it doesn’t need to be specific. but we do need to be kind#like hey. artist. I don’t know exactly what you’re going through to have written these songs that mean this to me. but I’m here for you#fill in the blanks. all we’ve got are our stories to share. I hope mine helps us understand and be a little kinder to those who need it#without thinking we can judge who we think needs it. but rather default to kindness and in the case of musicians etc that means patience#it means we learn together. what it means to connect and have boundaries and the boundaries they might like to have#anyway I’ve not said who these songs are by so if you reblog and wanna tag another artist that’s g I’ve got a few by several others as well#but I know this fandom. I know this band and I know exactly why I worry for each band member though I’m not gonna say here. just. take care#5 seconds of summer#5sos#luke hemmings#ashton irwin#calum hood#michael clifford#exact experience of burnout I have talked about is that of someone with adhd and a pda profile and some form of bipolar#which may be a product of pda profile things or not. these aren’t the only diagnoses I’d likely fit but they are the ones that explain the#story and have guided me to understand how to recover and I’m doing that bit by bit. and if you want me to tell you how please ask#but I’m not advertising it cause that’s weird I’d sound like a scammer if I did. even if when I’m hypomanic I think I can heal everyone
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my alphabetical list is complete
#persona#fire emblem#fe3h#ace attorney#god eater 3#my art#i am not...tagging everyone#nor am i linking everyone lol sorry#just scroll if you're curious it's not like i really post anything besides art anyway#just to clarify this is an alphabetical list of characters that *i enjoy*#i am aware other characters that begin with the same letter/s exist#alright so what have we learned#that i have a few select interests that have not changed in years#maybe that will change; maybe not - we'll see#and now i'm back to not knowing what to draw...#a couple of these weren't my first choices though so maybe i'll go and revisit the ones i scrapped#thanks for joining me on this little experiment and welcome to everyone who stumbled in partway through#i appreciate y'all#happy easter
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if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified
#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing#i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though#at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself#as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed#escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date#although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL#ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting#workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety#i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back#AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO#im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts#i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem#in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material#and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school#maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess#only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard#hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms#i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work#not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall#anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh#yapping
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Acorn Anne visits some Mulberry trees that are in need of healing. please send a small offering of dry, warm air through your closest fairy ring and Acorn Anne will direct it to the leaves of both trees. thank you for your cooperation 🫡
#ok i learned the fungus on my trees is not life threatening and is worse in wet summers#apparently stronger and healthier trees are more resistant to it too#which if the rest of the neighborhood is anything to go by i think my trees are a bit healthier#that is good to see#they need a good trim though#anyway send dry air it might rain this week which i do love bc we always need rain in texas#but if you send the dry air in the fairy ring acorn anne can reserve it for next summer and maybe they can be healthier then#since its almost autumn rn anyway#actually send me some spoons through the ring too bc i need to trim their branches and rake the fungus leaves up#i dont plan on raking the normal autumn leaves but apparently keeping the fungus leaves off the ground can help#thank you in advance for any contributions you make ok love you byeeee#my clown#acorn anne syrup#clownblr#clownin around#clown shenanigans#clown doll#porcelain clown doll#PS if you send dry air through the portals i will also have Acorn Anne send you back any mulberries we happen to get if any#i have NO clue if these trees will produce fruit lmao i have no experience with mulberry trees at all#even though apparently these are native to my area#seems like in the 60s they still planted native trees instead of *clenches fist* bradford pears#unreality
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I get so tired of people saying that underage people are too young to transition in terms of taking hormones or that even the younger adult years might be too young. Turns out your body naturally does irreversible things to itself if left alone even though you're supposedly too young to know what your gender is. But apparently it's evil or abusive or irresponsible to replace those irreversible effects with different irreversible effects. Or even just make them happen slightly later so kids have more time to really think about which irreversible effects they want. No, the only moral choice is to force one kind of irreversible effect on kids and not allow there to be any choice at all ever. Making that potentially wrong choice for them is somehow the only good option. Farquaad-ass "some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice i am willing to make."
#this is a vague about someone i was following but am not anymore#apparently they detransed which fine! good for you! I'm glad you learned more about yourself!#but your experiences are not universal. not as a trans or detrans person#there is no universally good age or waiting period or procedure or anything for getting to decide what gender you are#or what you want to do to your body#there is no perfect universal amount of therapy or guidance (parental or otherwise)#especially because some people's genders evolve!#i consider myself to have been a girl. and been a nonbinary girl. and been nonbinary. and now I'm very man-aligned#and who knows how I'll think of myself in another 10 years! 20! 50!#if I'm a woman in 10 years then good for me! i won't have been not a guy right now though.#maybe there's no perfect body solution for me. maybe there is and I'll find it#point is. there will always be people making wrong decisions or decisions they regret#we want to minimize that of course! obviously! but the solution is not going#''you must wait until your age is whatever arbitrary number that someone else decides and in the meantime your body is going through#permanent changes anyway no matter what you want or know about yourself because some people you'll never meet made the wrong decision''#that's just fucking bad and stupid#anyway. i had to vent. I'm going back to listening to ycdt and playing stardew valley now
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Sure you wouldn't do it. But would you be okay with it if somebody else did it instead of you?
#shower thoughts#this is about how i went through a traumatic experience I imagined that i should've filmed#for legal reasons and then getting off at thinking “except I wouldn't post it online 😇 like others do”#and then thinking wow mecces thats kind of holier than though of you#and realizing i wouldn't do it myself but i have enough malice to let someone else post it in my stead#mh.#ok so long story short my dog bit a small dog#hers was running off leash and my dog is known to be unsafe#i think i met her before but regardless#im upset about everything and i feel very guilty even though im rationally safe on the legal side#and this is the incident that made me decide#i gotta put a muzzle on her#forever every time we leave the house#I'm so so so fucking sad i dont know how else to say it#this has been a life long struggle for her and it cant go on#shes never bitten a dog before like tonight#but she was always unpredictable in her behavior#like this fucking problem is so much larger than i am and i just wanted to have a fucking dog#i guess im better for having her but it's so depressing not to know how to help her#i dont have the funds to get a dog expert involved are you kidding me???#im learning that shit myself! im desperate to figure her out! i read the books and do the stuff its like my second job#bit of a personal tag rant but oh well#not me talking about my daydreaming and then immediately trauma dumping#💀 i need to let yall know I'm contacting the police myself#if you care
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one thing I’ve learned is that as long as you’re alive it’s always gonna be something
#my biggest takeaway from reading the subtle art of not giving a fuck is that life is just a constant series of problems#and we basically need to decide what problems are worth solving#I think I’m always annoyed when something goes wrong and I’m like if things just happened slightly differently everything would be perfect#but thats not life snd that’s not living#thoughts#even like when I look at my dating woes sometimes I’m like if I never entertained that man I wouldn’t have went through that heartbreak#and wish I could go back knowing what I know now#but honestly they shaped me into who I am#if I didn’t experience those things I would have just made those mistakes later on in another situation#but now I know better#and i feel like a much better version of myself#like when I look back I was so needy and really wasn’t taking care of myself and just always focused on impressing someone else#and i feel so much relief just putting my energy on myself snd not worrying about making someone like me or proving my worth#and like literally my hair and skin are thriving I’ve been tryna take up more hobbies learn new languages got a 2nd income#if those relationships worked out i would have 100% lost myself in them so I’m almost grateful I didn’t get that chance#so i think the beauty of living is getting better at it with not in spite of what happens to us but because of it#though goddd does it suck at the time lol#anyways rant of the day 😚#i really need to get back into writing I think that’s why I love posting on here so much writing was my first love 😝
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and with that i do believe that my run with interstellar in imax has come to an end.

#check out the stats: 4 shows in 7 days. two shows within less than 24 hours of each other#one show that made me drive three hours through the city I hate to get to the imax#tbf I didn’t know that it was coming to my town because the original weekend it was not here#so I had to make the drive. then! I found out my local imax was going to show it so I went three more times lol#truthfully I feel good about it. I could go again tomorrow night at 10pm but I think while I was watching it today#idk something just came over me and I thought ya know what? this is it. this is my last time seeing it in imax#I came to peace with it and im okay with it. it was beautiful to witness. it really helped when i had contacts in instead of glasses#I think we worked through a lot of feelings while watching these four shows. I think we learned a lot about myself too#definitely found some answers we were looking for. definitely opened up some other wounds too but that’s okay#I got to enjoy movies again and really be immersed in cinema so that was a great experience#plus all of this with a movie I already loved so now! it’s boosted my life exponentially#idk how to make an interstellar url which is why we went with rust but like. dammit I owe you my life interstellar#god what a beautiful film. I’ve seen so many bad takes about it too and it’s not like im blinded by my love for it#that I think the takes are bad. no it’s genuinely shit like ‘oh what do you mean they couldn’t figure out how to grow more than just corn?’#like homie you obviously were not paying attention! the earth is dying! (real) and corn is quite literally the only thing left!!!#they have to leave if humanity is going to survive!!!!#anyway. like I said. beautiful film really enjoyed this past week of getting to see AND experience it.#watching it on blu ray now will never be the same#thank you everyone who followed along on this journey and thank you mr McConaughey for giving me your accent for the week#okay last two things: a) im gonna go back and tag all my stuff so I can look back on this time with joy and whimsy#second: here’s my definitive ranking of my viewings of the movie:#first had to be the first time i saw it. nothing is topping that absolutely nothing. experiencing that for the first time and road tripping#like come on that’s dedication to the art right there. second would be today. feeling at peace knowing it was going to be my last show#and really getting to soak it all in. absolutely. plus I had contacts in so I could see everything lol.#third was yesterday bc yeah I finally got to see everything (again. finally had contacts in) but the audience did make it a little tough#usually im game for a big movie with an audience but there were too many distractions really pulling me out of the experience#last was probably Friday. even though I was jazzed to see it again bc that was the first show in my town there was a kid vaping two seats#away from me and that gave me a headache. plus I had glasses on so again. can’t see part of it bc the frames of said glasses.#thank you to everyone who followed along on this journey! apparently there is a 30 tag limit so last tag:#shelby watches interstellar
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Oh shit, fr?
#I unironically love how Skiz/CC has become such a natural in terms of like; being a Mabi player that sometimes they message me#and I have to like; go look stuff up because I've not run these generations in YEARS and I'm like ''oh shit yea that DOES happen''#It's really cool to see someone experiencing this game for the first time and sticking with it through the worst parts to find some good.#Sure they don't love EVERYTHING about Mabi; truth is neither do I you know? Some of it ISN'T good some of the writing is bad some mechanics#kinda just generally suck; and overall some of the game is just over or under-designed.#But for every bad thing there is; there's like 50 good things if you can get past the bad part. Mabinogi is such a unique experience#and I think the most unifying trait among the general community is how no matter what we all kinda have the same understanding#of the jokes and the punching-bag-esque characters in this game. Even if you like Tarlach (somehow) you gotta admit that he's kinda a bitch#Like it's cool to talk to someone who feels like they've been playing as long as I have even though that's not the case.#I've always struggled to get people to even give it a shot or get into the game because there's such a wall of information to overcome#and if you're not someone who enjoys learning in some way shape or form you're going to struggle.#For CC/Skiz that seemed to have been reading the wiki like it's a proper book.#For me it was learning from others; and from making mistakes and learning how to not make those mistakes again.#and all of that comes down to understanding a joke of ''Non-Bear Tarlach''#and I think that's kinda beautiful ya know?
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I wish I could let go
#it’s been a year and a half#I had a partner last summer and Ive been seeing a girl I really like#somehow I still can’t get over my ex even though she still treats me like crap#like why???#i know we still live together#but she still treated me like crap when she gets stressed#she still does this and sdoesnt make amends#why do I just wish we could fix it still?#I always just wanted to fix it#I wanted to be there for her when she was sad#I wanted to be the thing that made her feel better#but she just always find a way to be mad at me#like something bad happened at work; how am I the bad guy#we were friends for so long#we had so many inside jokes#so many shared experiences through school#when we go places we would learn everything together#and had such wonderful discussions because we had the same professors#we had so many plans
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“Sometimes I feel like I’m not smart enough for you.”
Nanami immediately put his book down (and hid it under the blanket) when you said that. “Why are you having such thoughts, honey?” He asked.
“I don’t know, it’s like, you’re so accomplished and intelligent. You know about things that I have no idea exist. You enjoy learning new things. I feel like I’m behind on that. Like, what does singularity even mean? I feel like I should know that if I’m your wife.”
Nanami bit his lip to stop himself from chuckling at your silliness. “Okay, come here.” He pats his lap and you oblige. You straddle him but refuse to make eye contact after your embarrassing confession.
He holds your face in his hands and makes you look at him. “You have so many strengths that you fail to recognize. You’ve taught me how to be better at reading social cues, you’re the life of every party we go to or host, children are naturally drawn to you, you’re so creative and you’re great at what you do. You don’t need to read all these books to be my match, you ARE my match. You complement me in every way and I’m so glad that I even get to breath the same air as you.”
You giggle as he says the last sentence. “Now you’re just saying anything.”
“No, I mean it. You’re radiant. Without you, I’d be living life the same boring way. You’ve taught me how to live and there’s a different kind of intelligence required for that. One that can only be acquired through experience and emotional maturity.”
Your lips quiver and Nanami kisses you before you can start crying. This man really overwhelms you with love and you couldn’t be more grateful.
“I love you, Ken.” You mumble against his neck. “I love you more.” His chest rumbles as he replies.
“But seriously though, what does singularity mean?”
#nanami x y/n#nanami fluff#jujutsu kaisen nanami#nanami kento x reader#jjk nanami#jujutsu nanami#nanami kento#nanami x reader#nanami x you
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Hands-On Learning
Summary: Reader is deep in preparation for her finals, much to Spencer’s frustration. When she creatively incorporates him into her anatomy review, it turns into a pleasurable experience for them both.
Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader
Category: Smut
Content Warning: f!receiving oral, face sitting, face riding, f!masturbation, softdom!spencer, but he's needy and desperate, anatomy terms that may have been used incorrectly (sorry), slight dry humping, overstimulation, yearning.
Word Count: 3.3k
Masterlist
Finals season.
The ever-dreaded, ever-disliked period between the end of April to June where every student you know is scrambling to absorb roughly four months of material in a matter of weeks.
All bets are off in this lawless space of time. Coffee at 2 AM? Completely advised, go right ahead. Hundreds of dollars spent in food delivery? Sure. Anything to keep the grind going, right? Major papers that should’ve taken weeks to write being done in a frantic three hours? It’s a rite of passage, really. And luckily, you get to spend a much-needed summer break afterwards, recovering from all these horrific decisions you’ve put yourself through.
Needless to say, your current setup involved many textbooks, flashcards scattered about, and highlighters in the most random of places, all in the name of preparation for this beast of a week.
And of course, it was all set to the sounds of a very needy Spencer Reid, who’d been begging for your attention since he’d gotten here.
“You’ve studied so much already, I swear. Can’t you take a break?”Spencer questions petulantly, sitting on the bed adjacent to your desk, where you were currently hard at work memorizing the thirty-one pairs of nerves that made up the spine.
You’d been studying intensely for this semester's finals. By making a couple of well-informed choices beforehand, you were actually quite on track when it came to your learning and retention of material.
For the most part, it seemed like you were on track to sail through all your classes without a hitch. That held true, until you brought up Introduction to Anatomy.
Anatomy was fun, by all means. Interesting labs, interesting people, interesting content. However, what daunted you more than anything in pertinence to the material was the enormity of the terms and vocabulary you were expected to know in time for the exam.
“I haven’t studied enough.” Is your quick response, a small smirk finding its way to your lips. Despite loving your boyfriend, there was a certain pleasure in seeing him so desperate for you, a power-rush that felt unbelievably good.
And to your credit, you really were hard at work memorizing these terms. As much as you enjoyed his company (and the sex he wanted to engage in), it simply could not take precedence over the task at hand.
“You know, multiple studies recommend at least twenty minutes of a break for every hour you study, for peak brain efficiency, and you-” He checks his watch, mentally calculating how long you’d been at that desk. “You’re due for at least an hour’s worth of break at this point.”
You finally look up, your finger halting on the paper it’d been tracing over. “Spencer, you know I’d love to take a break but-”
He sighs heavily. “I’m aware. This is important. I get it.” He grumbles, flopping onto the bed in a slightly dramatic fashion.
You giggle at the scene. For all his propriety, there was never a more amusing sight than your boyfriend reduced to base desire and instinct. You take pity on him though, and smile gently at him.
“Look, why don’t you get out? Go have lunch, do whatever, and come back. Hopefully I’ll be closer to finishing then, and we can hang out then?” You offer, hope in your voice.
He sighs and nods, lifting himself off your bed. “Yeah, sounds good.” He murmurs, coming over to the desk to place an affectionate, chaste kiss upon the top of your head. “Good luck.” He says, cracking a half smile as he leaves, which you return with a smile of your own.
The door closes, and you’re left with nothing but silence, and the lateral cutaneous branches looking up at you from their place on the page. Time to work at it, you suppose.
It’s about two hours later, when you hear the tell-tale knock of your boyfriend at your door, presumably back from his excursion away from you. Your place at your desk is momentarily abandoned in favor of letting him in, and there’s instant delight in your eyes, considering the two cups of coffee he presents to you. One is iced, one is not. Without any words exchanged between either party, the iced coffee is grabbed and you grin.
“Thank you.” You say, taking a sip. Of course he’d remember your order perfectly.
“You know, that could’ve been my coffee, for all you know.” He teases, striding into the room.
You roll your eyes fondly whilst you close the door. “Spencer Reid drinking iced coffee? I’ll believe it when I see it.”
“Coffee is supposed to be hot!” He protests, immediately, this being an obvious subject of passion for him. “Hot brewed coffee contains far more antioxidants, and doesn’t risk being watered down by ice- oh, and another thing-”
You stifle a chuckle whilst watching him. This had been an ongoing debate for you two, essentially since the day you met. Your first date had been at a coffee shop. When he'd asked for your order, he looked almost appalled at the prefix of “iced” you’d tacked onto your statement.
Nevertheless, he still ordered it, and did his best to educate you on why hot coffee was “clearly” superior.
Somewhere between lecturing you on caffeine effectivity and nutritional information, you were head over heels.
“Anyway.” He says, breaking your thoughts, and seemingly done with his argument. “How far are you into studying?”
You make your way back to your desk, biting your lip as you stand over the material. “Pretty far.” You murmur, reluctantly. “I dunno. I know I know this material, but I feel like it hasn’t solidified in my brain, you know? Like I need to keep hammering it in until it’s basically muscle memory for me.”
He moves slowly to be behind you, his hands coming to rub your shoulders gently, soothing the worn out muscles on your back. His touch is warm and reassuring, a quiet way of saying, “You can rest.”
“You know.” He murmurs, softly. “You’d probably do better with a break. Take a breather, let your brain relax for a second.”
There’s a pause, before he adds in a quiet voice, “Maybe spend some time with me?” His hand comes to move some hair away from your neck, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to the side of it.
You melt into the movement. He always knew exactly where your weak spots were, where you’d falter and give right into his ministries.
But you know you can’t. You force yourself to breathe and look away, as though that simple act might help you forget how his hands had lingered on you just a moment ago.
“I want to, I swear. But I won’t feel good about taking downtime until I’m absolutely sure I’ve got this.” You say, firmly extricating yourself from his grasp.
He gives another one of his heavy sighs, accepting his fate quietly, knowing he won’t be able to convince you outside of your own accord.
“Alright then. I’ll just hang out here then.. For however long that might take.”
You give a small, pained smile. “Thank you. I know I’m being difficult.”
“You’re not. You could never be difficult.” He responds, immediately, returning your smile with one of his own. “It’s just finals season. I know your performance will be wonderful, and we’ll have all the time in the world afterwards to spend time together.”
Your heart melts. You were beyond lucky to have him, and that adoration and knowledge is displayed plainly through your expression. “Thank you.” You repeat, unable to verbalize just how much his support meant to you. “I hate finals.”
“You and I both.” He shoots back, cracking a grin. “You’re going to do great.”
There’s no trace of doubt in his tone at all.
For the next hour or so, you both quietly coexist in the same space, the names of musculature and types of fibers muttered under your breath. After a while, the terms click into place, and with a quiet breath, you let the tension go. The final step in your preparation involved practicing the newly learned terms on a human model. Ideally, it would be one of the fake skeletons in the anatomy lab. Your gaze, however, drifted to your boyfriend on your bed, sprawled out, reading your physics textbook for fun.
Nerd.
An almost evil plan enters your brain, and your voice goes sickly sweet as you call out his name.
“Spence?” “Mm?” He murmurs, looking over the book.
“Can you strip down to your underwear, please?” A harmless smile plays on your lips as you ask.
Spencer’s all ears as he hears that, and in record time his clothes are shed. “Are you-” “Lie back on the bed.” You order.
He’s so obedient and eager, immediately complying with what you’ve asked of him without question. You smile, and discreetly grab a washable marker before making your way to where he was laid out.
“God. I’ve been so insanely needy for you all day. I’m so glad you’re done.” He says, his expression reeking of starvation as you straddle him. You can feel him harden under your touch, and choose to ignore that.
You lean down, your head at about his chest. His breathing quickens in anticipation, already so turned on from the minimal contact between you two.
Before he can make a move of his own, you pull out your marker and mark the space between his clavicle and shoulder.
“Brachial plexus.” You murmur, much to his utter confusion and dismay.
“You have to be kidding me.” He says, his look of confusion quickly morphing into one of realization. “I thought you were done-”
“I’m not.” You say, with a small smirk on your lips. “But I will be, if you’re quiet and let me work on you.”
He groans. “You’re evil, this is evil. I won’t-”
“The faster we get through this, the faster I’m all yours.” You interrupt, mostly ignoring him, because you know he’ll do anything if it means touching you by the end of it.
He takes a pained breath and tries to relax while you work on top of him, his obvious erection straining against the fabric of his briefs.
The pen drags down his chest, as you move down on him to better position yourself in accordance to the medial pectoral nerve you were marking.
“Baby, please.” He groans out, his hands fisting in the sheets below him in an attempt to not grab you and take you right then and there.
The slightest bit of friction seems to set him off, and you can tell he isn’t playing it up in the slightest. He truly was, well and gone for you within this moment.
“Sorry.” You murmur. “Just marking your.. anterior cutaneous branches.. of the thoracic nerves.” The pen drags against a spot on his chest, and he shudders.
“Won’t this stain my skin?” He says, a slight whine in his tone, doing absolutely anything to free himself from the absolute torture of this predicament he’d found himself in.
“Nah. It’s one of those pens they use for surgery.” You respond, dragging it along his sternum to mark a few more necessary terms. “It’ll come right off in the shower.”
You know exactly how to push his buttons. You lean in closer and whisper against his ear enticingly, “We can get clean together.”
He squeezes his eyes at that, the feeling of your lips brushing against his earlobe triggering an involuntary response, a low moan escaping him. “This is.. so unfair. I just want to touch you. Please.”
“Not until I’m done.” You fire back. “C'mon. You can be good and wait, right?”
“Easy for you to say.” He grits out. “You’re not the one, half naked and hard and having to watch you be..” He trails off.
“Be what?” You ask, a bit distracted as you mark another nerve of importance.
“Be.. sexy.” He mumbles out, clearly embarrassed by his own musings.
A small, wry smile comes upon your mouth. You lean back, a breath of laughter slipping free. “You think I look sexy?” You say, a teasing lilt in your tone.
He rubs a hand over his face, clearly mortified. “Yes. Yes, okay!” He grumbles out, clearly self-conscious by just how much he’s managed to be affected by you. “You’re on top of me, drawing on me, and I’m aware they’re just anatomical terms, but God the way you say them.”
His voice devolves into a near whimper, pitiful and aching. “It’s killing me.”
You hum, pleased with yourself. “Killing you, huh?”
“Yes.” He mewls. “Killing me. I want you so much, please. You’re so smart. Please. I know you’re going to do so good on this final. Just please, please, let me touch you.”
He collapses into his words, into you. No pride left, just need.
“Yeah? You think I’m smart?” You murmur teasingly, tracing the plastic of your marker along the side of his neck.
“Yes.” He moans, lowly. “So smart. You’re so hot when you’re working so hard. Makes me want you so bad.”
Your head turns back, and you can see the wetness of precum leaking from his cock on his briefs. He wasn’t faking it to get your attention. He yearned for you, plain and simple.
Your eyes find his, and they’re full of need, his expression absolutely shameless and desperate. “Please.” He repeats. “Please let me touch you. I don’t care how. Just- god. I can't do this. Please.”
It’s enough to make you yield. You slide off of him, and he lets out a soft, needy sound, already missing the press of you, until his breath catches at the sight of you stripping, your clothes landing somewhere off the edge of the bed without a second thought.
“You wanna touch me?” You murmur, crawling up the bed a little.
“Yes.” He whispers, nodding.
The way he looks at your naked body, eyes fixed, hungry, reverent.. it’s almost too much. You feel dizzy from the weight of it.
You straddle his face, a thigh on either side of him whilst you hover over his face, and then you look down. “Touch me then.” You murmur.
He practically growls as his hands wrap around your thighs. “With pleasure.”
He pulls you down entirely, effectively forcing your core against his mouth, his tongue lapping against every inch of your wet folds.
You moan, your hands coming to grasp the headboard in front of you. There’s absolutely nothing he could be thinking about, besides the taste and smell of you flooding and overwhelming his senses.
He devours you with a single-minded focus, his tongue expertly alternating between flattening and lapping you in slow, deliberate strokes, and quick flicks against your clit. It’s all done in service to you, Spencer thinking of the fastest way to unravel you, desperate to taste your release against his tongue– to hear you moan his name and shake above him.
He gets his wish when another stroke of his tongue finally causes you to come, your sweet release flooding his face, and him eagerly drinking it in. He moans as he attempts to pull you even closer to his mouth (if that was even possible).
You let out a breathy laugh as he seems to slow down, indicating the end of your session. “Spence.. Oh god. That was so good.” You try to get off him, but his grip on your thighs is iron-clad.
“Again.” He moans.
“What?” You ask, not sure if you heard him right.
“Again, please.” He begs, voice broken. “I need you.”
The absolute depravity and torment in his voice lulls you into complacency, as you assume your previous position above him.
“Okay. Okay, baby. We can go again.” You murmur, soothingly.
He wastes no time going right back in, his tongue albeit, a little slower now, keeping in mind that you’d just orgasmed, and that you were probably still sensitive.
He’s right to do so, little high-pitched moans and drawn out of you as you get comfortable again, despite the overstimulation.
His tongue circles your clit slowly, never properly touching it, delaying your next release. After a while of this teasing, you finally moan out his name, your hips shamelessly rocking against him.
“Spencer, god. Please. Need to come.” You beg, feeling yourself at the edge of a small death.
Spencer responds in kind, rapidly flicking his tongue against your swollen bud, and in record time, you’re coming again, much to his delight. He doesn't let up until he's absolutely sure he's lapped up every single drop, not letting any of it go to waste.
“Okay, baby. I gotta get off. Gotta breathe. So do you.” You pant out, as you get off from your seat on his face.
He shakes his head, tugging you closer.
“Please, wanna keep touching you.” He pleads, eyes teary, your release practically dripping off his chin. His hand digs into your arm with a lustful urgency. “Please. We can go again. I know we can.”
You yield to his request, because honestly, who could deny him right now? His hair messy, lips shiny and his voice, fractured and full of ache, barely held together.
You nod, lying down, on the bed, motioning for him to roll on top of you.
He rolls over and kisses you, and it’s absolutely sinful. You can taste yourself on him, moaning as your lips easily part and make way for him, the wet warmth of his tongue sliding against yours. There’s nothing held back between the two of you as your lips connect and reconnect, as his hand slowly slides down the expanse of your skin, finding your clit and beginning to rub slow circles against it.
“Oh god, Spencer.” You moan bonelessly, feeling the effects of your previous two orgasms and the one you were hurtling towards currently taking over you.
“Yeah?” He mumbles. “That feel good?”
“God, yes.” You moan. “You always know how to touch me, always know how to make me feel good- oh-”
He groans in delight as he dives in for another kiss, his fingers sliding across the slick bud even faster now, determined to make you fall off the edge for him one last time. He humps your thigh, practically desperate for some relief for his aching cock as well.
“Say my name.” He murmurs against your lips.
“Spencer.” You wail out, in response.
“Louder.”
“Oh god, Spencer, please!” You groan, your body beginning to tense up with the tell-tale signs of an orgasm, your body taut like a bowstring.
“That’s right, come for me.” He whispers, placing a sweet kiss against your collarbone, his hips continuing their rut in an attempt to chase his release as well.
And with a shout, you come, your body seizing up and succumbing to his touch, your hands wrapping around his neck in an attempt to ground yourself as you experienced the intense pleasure that could only result from being with him.
He seems to follow shortly after to the sound of your moans, a wet patch appearing on the front of his briefs.
You whimper as you come down for your orgasm, Spencer stroking your skin soothingly, peppering little kisses wherever he could reach.
“You doing okay?” He pants out.
“Better than okay.” You murmur, folding into his embrace, feeling as if you were floating on clouds, or some other poetic description of just how light you felt in this moment.
“I pushed you pretty hard, huh?” He mumbles, his voice tinged with a slight bit of concern.
“Don’t worry. I deserve it for teasing you so hard." You mumble.
"Thanks for helping me study, by the way." You tack on, already feeling yourself drift off into a quiet, peaceful slumber in his arms.
He chuckles a bit, and places a kiss against your forehead. “Glad I could make the lesson... hands-on.”
woah!!! hello!! so unfortunately, much like reader, i have also been swamped by finals :( but, this idea came to me and i decided to write it and try to make my way back to writing even a little bit more regularly. as usual, please like, reblog and comment if you enjoyed this fic. reblogs are basically the lifeline of tumblr, and if you'd like my work to reach more people, i would 10000% appreciate it so much. thank you so much for reading regardless, and i hope it was enjoyable. thank you thank thank you for all your support!!!! <333
#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds self insert#spencer reid criminal minds#dr spencer reid#doctor spencer reid#spencer reid x you#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fluff#dr reid#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds smut#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds#smut#x reader#x reader smut#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fandom#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds x you
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Found this while going through my fanfic files, and i absolutely had to share.
Danny: i want in
Red robin: …what?
Danny: your bat family. I want in.
Red robin, blinking in surprise: i dont know what you think you know about my associates, but we're not-
Danny: dont be obtuse. I know youre the smart one. And i also know that your all one big relatively happy family. I want in.
Red robin: …why?
Danny: because you guys are the first people ive found that are wealthy, intelligent and powerful enough to take on my fruitloop godfather and win AND are decent enough human beings that i can be assured that when all is said and done, my well-being will remain a top priority.
Orphan, appearing out of nowhere: new brother!
Danny: *stares in shock*
Danny: *sudden uncanny grin* well that's one convinced. How do i win over the rest?
Orphan: no need. New brother!
Red robin: *pointed glance of betrayal* fine. Who is your godfather?
Danny: vlad masters. He's a fruitloop.
Red robin: for real? B's been investigating him for years! Tell me everything! *genuinely excited for a new lead*
Danny: well, he's tried to murder my dad and marry my mom, gained his wealth illegally, committed voting fraud to become the mayor of my hometown, has a secret underground lab where he does unethical experiments, and he's abducted me more than a dozen times even before my parents disowned me to make me his evil apprentice or whatever. Now that im homeless, he's literally out to get me. Oh! And he's cloned me too! She's cool though, we're buddies now.
Batman, who just arrived but heard everything over comms: hn. (Translation: who are you?)
Danny: my name is Danny. No last name anymore, but im hoping itll soon be Wayne! *winking suggestively*
Batman: hn? (how much do you know?)
Danny: enough to know that youre a much better alternative to vlad.
Batman: …hn (i dont know anything about you. What if youre a spy for vlad?)
Danny, giving his salesman pitch: i was a teen vigilante in amity park before i had to run away from home for my own safety. Vlad is one of my rogues. I know how to fight and defend myself, how to minimize collateral damage in a fight, and ive gotten really good and escaping kidnapping attempts. Ive also managed to reform and/or make allies out of approximately half of my rogues and can talk down about 30% of all rogue confrontations before they turn into a messy fight. The other things i can bring to the table are: one, i can teach all of you guys proper liminality self care; two, i can probably minimize and possibly cure red hood's anger issues; three, i can get along with stabby robin because i consider fighting a friendly social interaction - he can even stab me and i wont be injured by it; four, i can be your go-to guy for supernatural cases so you no longer have to deal with that sad trenchcoat man; five-
Red robin: *blurting* youre hired.
Batman: hn (i am deeply concerned)
Danny: if youre concerned now, wait until i tell you about the anti ecto control act
Nightwing, who showed up in the middle of the sales pitch: ive never seen anyone crack B's grunt language so quickly
Danny: grunt language? He's just using ghost speak - which will be covered by the liminality self care lessons
Robin, who arrived with batman: what is a liminal?
Danny: all of you, of course! Otherwise you wouldnt need to learn about it, obviously
Robin: and why would we trust you?
Danny: did i mention i have a pet ghost dog?
Robin: …you drive a hard bargain
Danny, fist pumping: yes! That's three!
Nightwing: four, you got me when you could understand B's grunting
Red Hood, arrived with nightwing: five, assuming you arent lying about the pit rage
Danny, hand to his chest: i would never!
Orphan: honesty. Earnest. New brother.
Oracle, over comms: six. The anti ecto acts are legit and im terrified for his safety, assuming he's phantom, who is the vigilante of amity park
Spoiler, arrived with orphan: seven, as long as youre down for a few pranks
Batman: hn (ive been outvoted)
Batman: hnn (i dont wanna hear any jokes about adoption habits when you all forced my hand)
Batman: hn (that said)
Batman: welcome to the family
Duke, the next day: man, i miss out on everything exciting.
Duke, blinded by danny: and who the fuck told bruce he could adopt the fucking sun?!
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Absolutely this. I've also added my thoughts below the cut
To clarify, I don't hate Steven or Shane or Ryan or anyone affiliated with Watcher. I still enjoy their content. I still love their wacky fun selves and I would pay the subscription if I could (of course, that we cannot pay it is the very nature of the problem).
I'm not full of rage or hatred, and I understand how difficult a strained financial situation can be (we're all/mostly adults here, right?). I do 100% blame them for this. But it doesn't ruin everything about them. They're people and people make mistakes, especially when under all the pressure that they are. It doesn't excuse the behaviour. It doesn't make anything better. But it means I'm not feeling ~violent/cruel/rude/nasty things~ towards them or anything.
What I am, is disappointed that they didn't properly think through this VERY Big VERY Important decision.
I am disappointed that they seem to have neglected to take into account who their main audience is (a bunch of mostly-young-adults who are about as far from rich and loaded and one can get).
I am disappointed that this is essentially the first we are hearing of this, that they have taken such a drastic move right away.
I wish they had been more transparent that they needed extra support. There is no shame in that, not when their fans adore them, and not when they're entrepreneur-ing this, and not ever. Life is hard, the economy is in shambles right now, struggle is inherent. T
I wish they took the time to fully consider the ramifications of this decision they've made.
I hope that they quickly understand the issues with this, frankly, godawful and infelicitous decision.
I hope that they are willing to apologize and propose some alternative solutions that will not be so detrimental to the fandom they are rEqUeStInG (see: forcing) this help from.
I hope that they won't double down out of fear or shame or defensiveness from the rightful backlash they are receiving. I hope they can be mature about this.
I hope that they remember that no matter what, we'll still support them as much as we can, but that what they're asking is impossible for many of us to accommodate.
I hope that all parties involved in this fiasco can be respectful and professional towards one another.
something about the current situation that feels so gross to me is the sudden vitriolic hatred towards steven lim??? yes, as the ceo he probably helped make the decision to start watcher tv. but before this whole dilemma, wasn't steven "super underappreciated" and hyped up constantly by the fandom??? weren't there hundreds of posts begging for more steven content??? wasn't there a lot of excitement about steven possibly getting his own show??? it just seems strange that people claimed to love him so much but are spewing some awful insults towards him now???
(note: this isn't talking about anyone criticizing steven or the company. this is talking about people blaming EXCLUSIVELY steven or excessively hate posting about him. critique and analysis are healthy ways to stimulate discussion and utilize critical thinking)
#i am also BEYOND FRUSTRATED that they clearly put quite some time into the watcher.tv website#have yall checked that place out yet?#it's very pompous-out-of-touch coded 🙃#as one yt comment stated#it's even worse that theyre locking up FAN CONTENT (i.e. tms and ays) behind the paywall#i implore you all to check out all the pages on their site#they astounded me. just. wow#this is a very very low place for them to stoop to#but we do have to remember the good times we have had because of these folks in the past#and we have to draw on our own experiences with financial hardship (even tho they are obviously rich as heck)#i just.#i like to give the benefit of the doubt#and throwing around insults and laying personal criticisms are not the proper way to respond to this situation#it is far from the fans' responsibility to fix this mess#but clearly if they went through all that planning and creating and transitioning and FILMED A WHOLE VIDEO to promote this bs#then they are incapable of understanding on their own just how out of touch they are here#so i feel as though it would be KIND (not necessary; not required; certainly not expected; but *kind*) of us to respond by#clearly communicating the issue with. everything. and to set some expections of how we want this remedied#they have lost the ability to relate to us cOmMoNeR people#so we need to show them how#anything you feel about this is 100% valid but#hatred and attacks are not the answer#as a community#can we please handle this responsibly#i know we can get through this and get through to them#let's have empathy for how they must be feeling about all this backlash#even if they dont deserve it#we are good enough people that we will still give it. we will still be kind and hopefully they will learn just how grateful they ought to be#watcher#watcher tv
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Streamer Danny
Everyone has a hobby or something they like to do. For Cass, that is watching Danny's stream. She doesn't know why but Danny's voices are very soothing and pleasant to hear. And it's not even just her that thought that. Every single one of Danny's fans say the same thing.
It is also a plus that Danny always talks using simple English. It makes it easier for her to learn how to speak and even read. Her favorite streams are the streams where Danny just sits and chats with the viewers. Not to say she doesn't like the other contents but there is just something nice to hear him answer her questions about himself.
No. She totally doesn't have a crush on that guy Steph. He doesn't even know her. How can she have a crush on someone that she never met before.
One thing she takes notes is the concerning things Danny sometimes says online. Like how he is half dead. Or something about a creepy godfather or something. Cass tries to look into him more with Tim's help (No Tim. She doesn't have a crush on this guy. And it's not creepy at all to stalk his personal information like this.) but finds practically nothing online about him except for his streaming channel and his hometown being somewhere in Illinois.
Danny also sometimes brings in guests to either interview or play video games with. There is Tucker, tech geek. He apparently is the one that sets up Danny's devices so that he can stream easily. Then there is Sam. His ex-girlfriend best friend. They talk about a lot of things mostly plants and ecosystems. There are also his sisters. Ellie is also a recurring guest. She often comes on stream and shares her travel experience and tips when traveling. Then there is Jazz who works as a psychiatrist at Arkham. And also is apparently working part-time for Red Hood.
Cass almost goes crazy when she hears that. She contemplates going to Jason to blackmail ask Jason to introduce Danny to her. Cass barely hesitates and the next thing anyone knows, Cass is inside Jason's apartment sitting on his couch nibbling on the freshly baked cookies Jason has on his counter.
Jason: *Walks out from his bedroom* Wtf! Where the hell did you come from?
Cass: *Stares*
Jason: Uggh. What the hell do you want?
Cass: Do you know Jazz?
Jason: *Tense* Why do you want to know?
Cass: Introduce me to her brother.
Jason: Danny? Why the hell do you wanna meet her?
Cass: A fan.
Jason: A fan? A fan of what? Wait. Danny did do the live streaming shit. Are you talking about that?
Cass: *Nods*
Jason: Whatever. Just don't fucking enter my house like that next time. I will call you to tell you when he is free.
Cass: *Smiles* Thank you.
Jason: Yeah yeah.
-Other place-
Danny: And that's it for today's stream people. I think I can stream again tomorrow but let's see if plans can keep up with change.
Chat: We want you to sing!
Danny: I will think about it in the next stream. Anyway see you later guys.
Chat: Bye!
Turning off the stream, Danny tiredly releases a sigh. Danny doesn't know why everyone wants him to sing. As far as Danny remembers, his voice has always been okay at best. He remembers getting mocked by Dash and his group when they participated in a choir when they were 10. Since then, Danny swears that he will never sing again.
What Danny likes though is dancing. Especially, ballet. He always likes the way the dancer expresses their emotions through body movements. The way they express anger, sadness, happiness and even love. When he becomes a ghost, he gets even better at reading those using ghost speak. Danny dreams of one day being able to dance in front of an audience of hundreds.
Opening a video platform website, Danny searches for a specific ballet group that he encounters. The group has a specific dancer that is amazing at expressing her emotions through dance.
Danny watches longingly hoping he could one day dance like that, or even dance with her. Suddenly a knock comes from his door.
Jazz: Hey, Danny. Can we talk?
#dp x dc crossover#danny phantom#dpxdc#batfam#danny x cass#dc x dp#dead silent#cassandra cain#cass x danny
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