#we learn and we love along the way
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thisismenow3 · 1 year ago
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Getting into your 30s can def be this. And I’m here to tell you that even your fears of the worst version of what OP relates are just spiraling. I’ve had a lot go wrong in my 20s with my health, my spouse’s, my family dynamics, I lost many friendships that later on I was glad to have lost and left friendships I’ve made peace with trying to salvage for too long. I’ve made a new great friendship with more forming finally. My health and my spouse’s still have lows but we are managing despite our bs healthcare. We still have many estranged family members, but like the friendship blank slate they all needed to be pushed away. And the one thing that is different about me now with my new hobbies, friends, and outlook on life is being able to enjoy the truly enjoyable despite almost anything. Cause even if things still need fixing in life I’ve learned so much and am a much better person on top of the wisdom.
The point is that there is always another side, the dark forest is not endless, sometimes the opening is a clearing but eventually you find the true way out to the verdant grasslands where you belong.
listen. aging into your thirties rocks. yes your joints get a little creaky. yes you can’t sleep in a pretzel on the floor anymore after a concert or a convention. and you lose some friends. but the thing is that you sort out who your real friends are and you sort out who you really are. and you get to see your friends settling into careers they like, and adopt new dogs and cats, and you find a job you can stand, and get really good at arts and crafts, and maybe that book you loved as a kid gets a movie deal and it doesn’t suck, and you learn to like new food and bake your own bread, and you realize that the great portfolio of self harm scars you all used to curate are going white with age and not updated, and half your friends are a different gender now and so much happier and maybe you are too, and you know who you are, and that it’s a journey and not a revelation. it’s a direction you’re headed, and you’re enjoying the trip.
reaching your 30′s rocks. and i’m hearing good things about what comes next, too.
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postmail · 25 days ago
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this was supposed to be a sketch of what ishmael might look like if he grew his hair out post-canon and i blacked out and woke up to this on my computer. help where have the past two hours of my life gone
no tattoos yet because he's fresh off the sea and in nantucket again for the first time since the pequod. i don't think he's happy to be back guys
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hylianane · 14 days ago
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A big part of the Haikyuu rewatch is watching the characters interact and worrying that I fandomized their relationships too much in my head, particularly with the Karasuno first years because Hinata and Kags keep Yamaguchi and Tsukishima at arm’s length for so long. But then I remember. Oh wait the squad is literally Hinata’s phone background by the end of the story. You don’t put a picture of just some dudes in your after school club as your phone background.
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#ane discovers character development takes time who wouldve thought#personally I think wthe change happens when Yachi and Tsuki start tutoring them#It’s around the time that there’s a shift in their bickering so that it’s more. ‘familial’ isnt the term I’m looking for but like#the kind of razzing you can only do with someone you know#Tsukishima for example starts bringing up specific things they studied together to dunk on Kageyama not remembering any of it#And another subtle thing I noticed- cause again I started going like ? did I fandomize my entire perception of Tadashi too much?#cause for the first season he doesn’t interact with ANYONE but Tsuki. Like practically not at all except to brag about Tsuki to others#But I have a sneaking suspicion that this starts to change around the time that he starts getting on the court more often as a pinch server#Probably because it gives him more courage#Cause I remember him having a lot to say in the Shiratorizawa match#and I remember him getting along with Yachi! So like I’m keeping an eye out for those changes#haikyuu!!#Also my favorite part about rewatching Haikyuu is how the reveal of Kag’s backstory really does affect. Your entire perception of him#Like I know its probably cause he’s my fav but I always feel so frustrated when people assume the worst of him and so sad that even Oikawa-#who knew him back when he was a very happy and shy kid- doesn’t even question why his personality had such a sudden shift#but then I realize that the only reason I’m so aware of these changed is because Kageyama has ‘opened up to me’ as an audience member befor#Furudate waited hundreds off chapters to tell us that he’s been grieving a loved onesince a little before the very first scene of the manga#So that it would feel like we earned it#Idk how to explain it like when you meet someone who’s hurting it takes a lot of effort and patience for them to tell you why#in the same way bc we stuck by the story for so long and watching Kageyama learn to be more open#we got the privilege of learning why he was closed off in the same place#but Kageyama didnt give anyone at his old school the chance to stick around- not Kindaichi or Kunimi or anyone#So it makes total sense#kageyama tobio#hinata shouyou#yamaguchi tadashi#tsukishima kei#yachi hitoka#karasuno first years#my post
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bacchuschucklefuck · 4 months ago
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the never stop blowing up vhs is where cute twinks go to get harmed
#not art#nsbu spoilers#kirk blade.... johnny manhattan..... maybe tenuously cosmo chase#also genuinely I Love that vic ethanol is showing himself to be bit of a dick#and kingskin conversely First Actual Communication With The Player is like. idk I just work here#(I am vibrating in my seat abt liv bloodlust. shes experiencing a bit of emotional consequence. hope she powers thru it and#becomes even worse)#I also love that g13 and jack manhattan are both like. gone#I know in adventuring party they're charting it to shape up as like. usha also slowly losing herself to the work like g13 did#and them becoming one entity entirely in the sense that their selves stop mattering in the face of their hacker capacity#(also called the Forum Moderator Dilemma)#but I also like to think that g13 handed it back to usha cleanly in the second episode with that one interaction#and is now fully unplugged from everything. left the movie. man is Sleeping#we all agree that paula ate jack manhattan tho I think it's fine to assume that#and! the way russell has been like. fully going whole hog full tilt into helping other people and moving the plot along#while Suggesting That Doing Self Reflection And Learning Lessons From This World Might Help to Other People#like I love that. 1/lieutenant syndrome but also 2/extremely transfem coded#like past the ''ohh I have realisationd I'm coming to'' stage. far past. man is bored with thinking abt genders#not new realisation to him! had that thought two decades ago. not motivated enough by anything to change anything#I think I just love the scenario of like magical mystical journey in a fantasy world clearly designed to make you contemplate ur gender#and ur like oh no what? we did that years ago. whats up#deeply interested tho. open up russell we wanna see whats up with u#dang is perfect no note 10/10 more important than anything else he is genre aware and savvy and that truly is all he needs here#the ''let's make it fun'' scene he does with liv is SO good I love him. Im so scared the vhs will snatch him away. hes too genre perfect
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red-moon-at-night · 2 months ago
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let Helen be a flawed, complicated character who's allowed to have traits that might make her unlikeable (challenge level: impossible)
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darkshrimpemotions · 8 months ago
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Actually the implications of John also being bisexual are so fucking tasty to me because like. OG John has no support system and no protection against the world except his own perceived strength so he learns to ferret out anything that can possibly be seen as weakness to those around him and that includes any affection or attraction he might feel towards men because nothing screams "stay in your fucking closet" like spending all your time around a fringe subculture of serial killing doomsday preppers in the Midwest during the Reagan era.
By the time he notices Dean starting to look a little too long at boys his age, he's probably convinced himself that whatever he felt (still feels but ignores) was a temporary youthful indiscretion, and of course Dean can't afford those, doesn't get to have those, he's got to be a soldier. He's got to be a better soldier than John, even.
I dunno I've just had enough conversations with family members who are loudly but somehow also mildly homophobic and yet say or do things that make me *eyeballs emoji* not to think this is not only possible but arguably likely.
#supernatural#the winchesters#spn#spnwin#john winchester#shifting my headcanon of john to the type of person who doesn't think of himself as homophobic if he ever things about it at all#and would even probably try to stop a hate crime if he saw one happening right in front of him#(or likes to think he would)#but also views his own queer desire--and thus that of others--with suspicion and contempt#like something frivolous that he simply doesn't have the luxury to pursue as a Real Man in the Real World with Real Responsibilities#and when you live like that especially due to your own choices anything that seems like a luxury you view with a certain level of contempt#so he's like 'heh must be nice to have time for boyfriends' in the most condescending and degrading way imaginable#in the same way he probably treated sam's affinity for academia#in fact i'd argue a lot of what we see from dean with regards to the way he mocks sam for certain things is probably just echoes of john#and what's REALLY crazy-making is the way most of these things dean mocks sam for early on later prove to be things DEAN actually does enjo#dean likes to read and he loves chick flicks and he gets excited about tomatoes and enjoys dressing up nice#dean learned early on that certain things were not acceptable for a Real Man from john bullying him out of doing them#and he does the same to sam#and one of the things he consistently mocks sam for in the beginning is his perceived sexuality#and sure we could just chalk that up to stereotyping but EVEN THEN that jives with the idea that#john simply put his own queer desire in a box labeled 'weaknesses real men don't have' along with idk a love of reading and salads and bein#emotionally vulnerable and sincere with people you love#and then he told Dean 'this is the box of forbidden things'#and dean the ever-dutiful son learned his lesson well
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teplejtrouba · 11 months ago
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i have managed to actually do a hobby for the first time in months. yippee
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mayomkun · 3 months ago
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Finally done with teen wolf rewatch. Phew
#took me like 3 months#thought I was gonna watch a few eisodes I like because I was feeling nostalgic one evening now I finished the whole thing lol#not the movie tho I don't vibe with it#one of a few things I noticed is that scott smiles fondly at stiles' remarks a lot :')#anyway thinking about how each character change along the way#lydia is like a completely different character from the first seasons#since I'm biased I love the dynamic change with scott and stiles#like they kinda swapped roles a bit but still remain themselves??#scott develops from an awkward teen only caring about living normal life when he has more people to protect and learning to become a leader#he's almost unrecognizable from the first ep too#for stiles. he has character development of course but I think he himself hasn't changed much#even if he said they're not kids running in the woods anymore#he's still the mischievous sarcastic lil guy we know showing up at scott's house. running around looking for trouble & helping people#he always has that dark & anxious side#it's us that know more and more about different sides of him as the story goes on#from the start it's just the two of them against the world. now they're holding hands with their friends facing the world#anyway this show did get a little weird and inconsistent which is not surprising consider how long it went#the scripts also revolve around actor/actress availability also#so many characters with interesting dynamic what wasn't given time to explore#free real estate for us fans
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lecliss · 8 months ago
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I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.
#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it#like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago#so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows#but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown#AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS#1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject#and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS#or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's#AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way#okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there.#also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that#well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there#ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE#also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines#IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT#AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS#i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen.#its VITAL that that did not happen!!!!#its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan#and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died#SO. logically it must have been like#fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?)#and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist?#like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote?#that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro#god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke.#NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW#in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw)#does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab????#oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute
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acourtofquestions · 29 days ago
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Kingdom of Ash Chapter 55-56
Chapter; Highlights, Notes, Tags, etc.
The Thirteen were on edge. They hadn't yet decided where to go. And hadn't been invited to travel with the Crochans to any of their home-hearths. Even Glennis's.
None of them, however, had looked his way when they'd prowled past. None had recognized him.
Dorian had just completed another walking circuit in his little training area when Manon stalked by, silver hair flowing. He paused, no more than a wary Crochan sentinel, and watched her storm through snow and mud as if she were a blade through the world.
Manon had nearly passed his training area when she went rigid.
Slowly, she turned, nostrils flaring.
Those golden eyes swept over him, swift and cutting. Her brows twitched toward each other. Dorian only gave her a lazy grin in return.
Then she prowled toward him.
Another assessing stare. "I would have thought you'd pick a prettier form."
He frowned down at himself. "I think she's pretty enough."
Manon's mouth tightened. "I suppose this means you're about to go to Morath."
"Did I say anything of the sort?" He didn't bother sounding pleasant.
Manon took a step toward him, her teeth flashing. In this body, he stood shorter than her. He hated the thrill that shot through his blood as she leaned down to growl at him. "We have enough to deal with today, princeling."
"Do l look as if I'm standing in your way?" She opened her mouth, then shut it.
Dorian let out a low laugh and made to turn away. An iron-tipped hand gripped his arm.
Strange, for that hand to feel large on his body. Large, and not the slender, deadly thing he'd become accustomed to.
Her golden eyes blazed. "If you want a softhearted woman who will weep over hard choices and ultimately balk from them, then you're in the wrong bed."
"I'm not in anyone's bed right now." He hadn't gone to her tent any of these nights. Not since that conversation in Eyllwe.
She took the retort without so much as a flinch. "Your opinion doesn't matter to me."
"Then why are you standing here?"
Again, she opened and closed her mouth. Then snarled, "Change out of that form." Dorian smiled again. "Don't you have better things to do right now, Your Majesty?" He honestly thought she might unsheathe those iron teeth and rip out his throat.
Half of him wanted her to try. He even went so far as to run one of those phantom hands along her jaw.
"You think I don't know why you don't want me to go to Morath?"
"Tell me to stay," he said, and the words had no warmth, no kindness. "Tell me to stay with you, if that's what you want." His invisible fingers grew talons and scraped over her skin. Manon's throat bobbed. "But you won't say that, will you, Manon?" Her breathing turned jagged. He continued to stroke her neck, her jaw, her throat, caressing skin he'd tasted over and over. "Do you know why?"
"Because while you might be older, might be deadly in a thousand different ways, deep down, you're afraid. You don't know how to ask me to stay, because you're afraid of admitting to yourself that you want it. You're afraid. Of yourself more than anyone else in the world. You're afraid." For several heartbeats, she just stared at him.
Then she snarled, "You don't know what you're talking about," and stalked away.
His low laugh ripped after her. Her spine stiffened. But Manon did not turn back.
Afraid. Of admitting that she felt any sort of attachment.
It was preposterous.
And it was, perhaps, true.
But it was not her problem. Not right now.
Manon stormed through the readying camp where tents were being taken down and folded, hearths being packed. The Thirteen were with the wyverns, supplies stowed in saddlebags.
Some of the Crochans had frowned her way. Not with anger, but something like disappointment.
Discontent. As if they thought parting ways was a poor idea.
Manon refrained from saying she agreed.
Even if the Thirteen followed, the Crochans would find a way to lose them. Use their power to bind the wyverns long enough to disappear.
And she would not lower herself, lower the Thirteen, to become dogs chasing after their masters. They might be desperate for aid, might have promised it to their allies, but she would not debase herself any further.
Manon halted at Glennis's camp, the only hearth with a fire still burning. A fire that would always remain kindled.
A reminder of the promise she'd made to honor the Queen of Terrasen. A single, solitary flame against the cold.
Manon rubbed at her face as she slumped onto one of the rocks lining the hearth. A hand rested on her shoulder, warm and slight. She didn't bother to slap it away.
Glennis said, "We're departing in a few minutes. I thought l'd say good-bye."
Manon peered up at the ancient witch. "Fly well." It was really all there was left to say.
Manon's failure was not due to Glennis, not due to anyone but herself, she supposed.
You're afraid.
It was true. She had tried, but not really tried to win the Crochans. To let them see any part of her that meant something. To let them see what it had done to her, to learn she had a sister and that she had killed her. She didn't know how, and had never bothered to learn.
You're afraid.
Yes, she was. Of everything.
Glennis lowered her hand from Manon's shoulder.
"May your path carry you safely through war and back home at last."
She didn't feel like telling the crone there was no home for her, or the Thirteen.
Glennis turned her face toward the sky, sighing once. Then her white brows narrowed. Her nostrils flared. Manon leapt to her feet.
"Run," Glennis breathed. "Run now."
Manon drew Wind-Cleaver and did no such thing. "What is it?"
"They're here." How Glennis had scented them on the wind, Manon didn't care.
Not as three wyverns broke from the clouds, spearing for their camp.
She knew those wyverns, almost as well as she knew the three riders who sent the Crochans into a frenzy of motion.
The Matrons of the Ironteeth Witch-Clans had found them. And come to finish what Manon had started that day in Morath.
The three High Witches had come alone.
Rushing steps crunched through the icy snow, halting at Manon's side just as Dorian's scent wrapped around her. "Is that—"
"Yes," she said quietly, heart thundering as the Matrons dismounted and did not raise their hands in request for parley. No, they only stalked closer to the hearth, to the precious flame still burning. "Don't engage," Manon warned him and the others, and strode to meet them.
It was not the king's battle, no matter what power dwelled in his veins.
Glennis was already armed, an ancient sword in her withered hands. The woman was as old as the Yellowlegs Matron, yet she stood tall, facing the three High Witches.
Cresseida Blueblood spoke first, her eyes as cold as the iron-spiked crown digging into her freckled brow. "It has been an age, Glennis." But Glennis's stare, Manon realized, was not on the Blueblood Matron. Or even on Manon's own grandmother, her black robes billowing as she sneered at Manon.
It was on the Yellowlegs Matron, hunched and hateful between them. On the crown of stars atop the crone's thinned white hair.
Glennis's sword shook slightly. And just as Manon realized what the Matron had worn here,
Bronwen appeared at Glennis's side and breathed, "Rhiannon's crown."
Worn by the Yellowlegs Matron to mock these witches. To spit on them.
A dull roaring began in Manon's ears.
"What company you keep these days, granddaughter," said Manon's grandmother, her silver-streaked dark hair braided back from her face. A sign enough of their intentions, if her grandmother's hair was in that plait. Battle. Annihilation.
The weight of the three High Witches' attention pressed upon her. The Crochans gathered behind her shifted as they waited for her response.
Yet it was Glennis who snarled, in a voice Manon had not yet heard, "What is it that you want?"
Manon's grandmother smiled, revealing rust-flecked iron teeth. The true sign of her age. "You made a grave error, Manon Kin-Slayer, when you sought to turn our forces against us. When you sowed such lies amongst our sentinels regarding our plans— my plans."
Manon kept her chin high. "I spoke only truth. And it must have frightened you enough that you gathered these two to hunt me down and prove your innocence in scheming against them."
The other two Matrons didn't so much as blink. Her grandmother's claws had to have sunk deep, then. Or they simply did not care.
"We came," Cresseida seethed, the opposite in so many ways of the daughter who had given Manon the chance to speak, "to at last rid us of a thorn in our sides."
Had Petrah been punished for letting Manon walk out of the Omega alive? Did the Blueblood Heir still breathe? Cresseida had once screamed in a mother's terror and pain when Petrah had nearly plunged to her death.
Did that love, so foreign and strange, still hold true? Or had duty and ancient hatred won out?
The thought was enough to steel Manon's spine. "You came because we pose a threat."
Because of the threat you pose to that monster you call grandmother.
"You came," Manon went on, Wind-Cleaver rising a fraction, "because you are afraid."
Manon took a step beyond Glennis, her sword lifting farther.
"You came," Manon said, "because you have no true power beyond what we give you.
And you are scared to death that we're about to take it away." Manon flipped Wind-Cleaver in her hand, angling the sword downward, and drew a line in the snow between them. "You came alone for that fear. That others might see what we are capable of. The truth that you have always sought to hide."
Her grandmother tutted. "Listen to you. Sounding just like a Crochan with that preachy nonsense."
Manon ignored her. Ignored her and pointed Wind-Cleaver directly at the Yellowlegs Matron as she snarled, "That is not your crown."
Something like hesitation rippled over Cresseida Blueblood's face. But the Yellowlegs Matron beckoned to Manon with iron nails so long they curved downward. "Then come and fetch it from me, traitor."
Manon stepped beyond the line she'd drawn in the snow.
No one spoke behind her. She wondered if any of them were breathing.
She had not won against her grandmother. Had barely survived, and only thanks to luck. That fight, she had been ready to meet her end. To say farewell.
Manon angled Wind-Cleaver upward, her heart a steady, raging beat.
She would not greet the Darkness's embrace today. But they would.
"This seems familiar," her grandmother drawled, legs shifting into attacking position.
The other two Matrons did the same. "The last Crochan Queen. Holding the line against us." Manon cracked her jaw, and iron teeth descended. A flex of her fingers had her iron nails unsheathing. "Not just a Crochan Queen this time."
There was doubt in Cresseida's blue eyes.
As if she'd realized what the other two Matrons had not.
There—it was there that Manon would strike first. The one who now wondered if they had somehow made a grave mistake in coming here.
A mistake that would cost them what they had come to protect.
A mistake that would cost them this war.
And their lives.
For Cresseida saw the steadiness of Manon's breathing. Saw the clear conviction in her eyes. Saw the lack of fear in her heart as Manon advanced another step.
Manon smiled at the Blueblood Matron as if to say yes.
"You did not kill me then," Manon said to her grandmother. "I do not think you will be able to now."
"We'll see about that," her grandmother hissed, and charged.
Manon was ready.
An upward swing of Wind-Cleaver met her grandmother's first two blows, and Manon ducked the third. Turning right into the onslaught of the Yellowlegs Matron, who swept up with unnatural speed, feet almost flying over the snow, and slashed for Manon's exposed back.
Manon deflected the crone's assault, sending the witch darting back. Just as Cresseida launched herself at Manon. Cresseida was not a trained fighter. Not as the Blackbeak and Yellowlegs Matrons were. Too many years spent reading entrails and scanning the stars for the answers to the Three-Faced Goddess's riddles.
A duck to the left had Manon easily evading the sweep of Cresseida's nails, and a countermove had Manon driving her elbow into the Blueblood Matron's nose.
Cresseida stumbled. The Yellowlegs Matron and her grandmother attacked again. So fast. Their three assaults had happened in the span of a few blinks. Manon kept her feet under her. Saw where one Matron moved and the other left a dangerous gap exposed.
She was not a broken-spirited Wing Leader unsure of her place in the world.
She was not ashamed of the truth before her.
She was not afraid.
Manon's grandmother led the attack, her maneuvers the deadliest. It was from her that the first slice of pain appeared. A rip of iron nails through Manon's shoulder. But Manon swung her sword, again and again, iron on steel ringing out across the icy peaks.
No, she was not afraid at all.
Around him, the Crochans thrummed with fear and dread. Either for the fight unfolding or the three Matrons who had found them.
But Glennis did not tremble. At her side Bronwen hummed with the energy of one eager to leap into the fight.
Manon and the High Witches sprang apart, breathing heavily. Blue blood leaked down Manon's shoulder, and small slices peppered the three Matrons.
Manon still remained on the far side of the line she'd drawn. Still held it.
The dark-haired witch in voluminous black robes spat blue blood onto the snow. Manon's grandmother. "Pathetic. As pathetic as your mother." A sneer toward Glennis. "And your father."
The snarl that ripped from Manon's throat rang across the mountains themselves.
Her grandmother let out a crow's caw of a laugh. "Is that all you can do, then? Snarl like a dog and swing your sword like some human filth? We will wear you down eventually. Better to kneel now and die with some honor intact." Manon only flung out an iron-tipped hand behind her, fingers splaying in demand as her eyes remained fixed on the Matrons.
Dorian reached for Damaris, but Bronwen moved first.
The Crochan tossed her sword, steel flashing over snow and sun.
Manon's fingers closed on the hilt, the blade singing as she whipped it around to face the High Witches again. "Rhiannon Crochan held the gates for three days and three nights, and she did not kneel before you, even at the end." A slash of a smile. "I think I shall do the same." Dorian could have sworn the sacred flame burning to their left flared brighter. Could have sworn Glennis sucked in a breath. That every Crochan watching did the same.
Manon's knees bent, swords rising. "Let us finish what was started then, too." She attacked, blades flashing.
Her grandmother conceded step after step, the other two Matrons failing to break past her defenses.
Gone was the witch who had slept and wished for death. Gone was the witch who had raged at the truth that had torn her to shreds.
And in her place, fighting as if she were the very wind, unfaltering against the Matrons, stood someone Dorian had not yet met.
Stood a queen of two peoples.
Yielding only those few steps, and nothing more.
Because Manon with conviction in her heart, with utter fearlessness in her eyes, was wholly unstoppable.
The other two witches had fallen back, as if waiting to see what might happen.
But she yielded no further ground. A wall against which the Yellowlegs Matron could not advance. The crone let out a snarl, attacking again and again, senseless and raging.
Dorian saw the trap the moment it happened.
No one seemed to breathe at all as Manon plunged Bronwen's sword into the icy earth beneath and bent to take the crown of stars from the Yellowlegs witch's fallen head.
He had never seen a crown like it.
A living, glowing thing that glittered in her hand. As if nine stars had been plucked from the heavens and set to shine along the simple silver band.
The crown's light danced over Manon's face as she lifted it above her head and set it upon her unbound white hair.
Even the mountain wind stopped.
Yet a phantom breeze shifted the strands of Manon's hair as the crown glowed bright, the white stars shining with cores of cobalt and ruby and amethyst.
As if it had been asleep for a long, long time. And now awoke.
That phantom wind pulled Manon's hair to the side, silver strands brushing across her face.
And beside him, around him, the Thirteen touched two fingers to their brow in deference.
In allegiance to the queen who stared down the two remaining High Witches.
The Crochan Queen, crowned anew.
The sacred fire leaped and danced, as if in joyous welcome.
"Go."
The Blueblood witch blinked, eyes wide with what could only be fear and dread.
Manon jerked her chin toward the wyvern waiting behind the witch. "Tell your daughter all debts between us are paid. And she may decide what to do with you. Take that other wyvern out of here."
Spared by the Crochan Queen on behalf of the daughter who had given Manon the gift of speaking to the Ironteeth.
Within seconds, the Blueblood Matron was in the skies, the Yellowlegs witch's wyvern soaring beside her.
Leaving Manon's grandmother alone.
Leaving Manon with swords raised and a crown of stars glowing upon her brow.
Manon was glowing, as if the stars atop her head pulsed through her body. A wondrous and mighty beauty, like no other in the world. Like no one had ever been, or would be again.
And slowly, as if savoring each step, Manon stalked toward her grandmother.
Warm, dancing light flowed through her, as unfaltering as what had poured into her heart these past few bloody minutes.
She did not balk. Did not fear.
The crown's weight was slight, like it had been crafted of moonlight. Yet its joyous strength was a song, undimming before the sole High Witch left standing.
So Manon kept walking.
She left Bronwen's sword a few feet away.
Left Wind-Cleaver several feet past that.
Iron nails out, teeth ready, Manon paused barely five steps from her grandmother.
A hateful, wasted scrap of existence. That's what her grandmother was.
She had never realized how much shorter the Matron stood. How narrow her shoulders were, or how the years of rage and hate had withered her.
Manon's smile grew. And she could have sworn she felt two people standing at her shoulder.
She knew no one would be there if she looked. Knew no one else could see them, sense them, standing with her. Standing with their daughter against the witch who had destroyed them.
Her grandmother spat on the ground, baring her rusted teeth.
This death, though ...
It was not her death to claim.
It did not belong to the parents whose spirits lingered at her side, who might have been there all along, leading her toward this. Who had not left her, even with death separating them.
No, it did not belong to them, either.
She looked behind her. Toward the Second waiting beside Dorian.
Tears slid down Asterin's face. Of pride- pride and relief.
Manon beckoned to Asterin with an iron- tipped hand.
Manon raised a hand. "Let her go."
When there was no trace of the Matrons left but blue blood and a headless corpse staining the snow, Manon turned toward the Crochans.
Their eyes were wide, but they made no move.
The Thirteen remained where they were, Dorian with them.
Manon scooped up both swords, sheathing Wind-Cleaver across her back, and stalked toward where Glennis and Bronwen stood, monitoring her every breath.
Wordlessly, Manon handed Bronwen her sword, nodding in thanks.
Then she removed the crown of stars and extended it toward Glennis. "This belongs to you," she said, her voice low.
The Crochans murmured, shifting.
Glennis took the crown, and the stars dimmed. A small smile graced the crone's face.
"No," she said, "it does not."
Manon didn't move as Glennis lifted the crown and set it again on Manon's head.
Then the ancient witch knelt in the snow.
"What was stolen has been restored; what was lost has come home again. I hail thee, Manon Crochan, Queen of Witches."
Manon stood fast against the tremor that threatened to buckle her legs.
Stood fast as the other Crochans, Bronwen with them, dropped to a knee. Dorian, standing amongst them, smiled, brighter and freer than she'd ever seen.
And then the Thirteen knelt, two fingers going to their brows as they bowed their heads, fierce pride lighting their faces.
"Queen of Witches," Crochan and Blackbeak declared as one voice.
As one people.
#Chapter 55#Chapter 56#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Manon Blackbeak#Dorian Havilliard#Manorian#Asterin Blackbeak#The Thirteen#first read#read along#read with me#no spoilers please#First Read along with me NO SPOILERS PLEASE though warning for post & tags up to KoA 56 & more reacts/notes/quotes in tags below#The witches-alone-Morath-Glennis-Petrah why-don’t be poisoned-THE CROWN-her braid-their hatred & fear yet her forward#beyond what we give-is that a wyrdmark?-she would not-she would stand-not then but now becuase a cause-SHE WAS NOT AFRAID#he listened to her/believed in her-they did not tremble-they did not yield-she would not kneel-they came for her too-for them she did this#THE SWORD-uh yeah same-GONE WAS THAT WITCH-from the flame-AND HERE WAS THE LAST CROCHAN QUEEN-I love her#the wind answered-a queen of two people-convinction in her hearts fearless in her eyes and utterly unstoppable-you went for me#well Ansel said-SHE CROWNED HERSELF-matching crowns?-a phantom breeze the chill-the witch queen brow bow-that’s what she learned#they ran from her-mercy?-a debt-and one paid-true queens rising-a literal Star-not her death to claim-Asterin-manon I fucking love you#it’s yours-QUEEN OF WITCHES-Dorian smiled🥹-him watching his wife like same-he is us-short king-Iltsm#A sign enough of their intentions if her grandmother's hair was in that plait. Battle. Annihilation.—HAIR HOLDS POWER PEOPLE#Manon Kin-Slayer… a real rich name coming from her#because YOU are afraid-I kept reading peachy nonsense lol-chills-I’m gonna go cry-I love her#A blade through the world-shorter-bi bbs-the way she knows-it's a mate thing I swear-I'm not anyone's-#if you want someone who will allow that then ur wrong-shell keep him alive-double lines in the sand-your afraid-the word majesty#not back not now-a queen-a true queen against the world-afraid of everything-home?-HOLY SHIT RUN-mother matron crone#You're afraid-I will not be afraid-coward-the fear of fear-run now-hold the line-retreat and live-You’re afraid. Yes she was. Of everything#Fly Well they've run for a long time they know-but she would not-the truth time
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strawberri-draws · 1 year ago
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Silly oc sketches … old ladies having their romcom yuri moment
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lanternlightss · 18 days ago
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missing venti hours
#i am having thoughts . but i am not too confident to make them their own posts#mmmost notably#about how nice of a thought it is — to imagine a bard that ven can get to hold again. to hear again#but . the idea that in canon . the best he could do to replicate that feeling is either holding himself and pressing softly or perhaps#gathering a long pillow in his arms and pretending#because mortals do not last long (not without consequence). and as said so much — time is merciless. it matters not how the clock ticks away#for you. whether it be by seconds or minutes. hours or years. it marches along regardless of anyone’s feelings to it#and you have to grasp at what lingers in between : the bonds that you make . the joy and sorrow . the laughing and silence#and you have to hold them close close close. to preserve them for another day#there is no getting back what was lost#but that’s a bit too bittersweet so anyways#first and foremost ven is a nuisance and we love him for that#secondly and much more importantly than the first point is that ven is full of love and care that it surprises me how it does not burst out#from him. ven puts others before himself A LOT. he wants everyone to be able to live peacefully. happily#to find that they can live another day with a smile#and if that means assuring them of what’s to come. or offering them a shoulder to cry on. or making a fool of himself#then by the heavens himself will he sign up for the task#he is not !!! a lazy archon i refuse this notion#he cares deeply for his people !!! he watches and he will help if they stumble and will back away when they wish to walk forwards on their#own !! and they will make mistakes and they will learn from them and he will be there …!!!!! to see them grow !!!!!#besides mondstadt doesn’t particularly ?? seem like they want a god to truly rule over them . tbh#and this is disregarding the fact that mond . fucking killed their first god . ven is not going to risk that ???#so what use would it be — to start randomly showing up as a god and guiding them that way ?? that would be pressuring !!#does this . am i making sense . im very tired#it’s 2am#lantern says stuff
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bulbabutt · 11 months ago
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just finished tf armada shits homoerotic as hell “the only way to stop hate in the universe is for Optimus and Megatron to pummel the absolute shit out of each other” just fucking kiss oh my god
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quietwingsinthesky · 11 months ago
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I mean rn I wish you would write a fic w a description of 11089 so I can draw them 👉👈 :lookingaway:
bold of you to assume i even know what they look like alsjfjgljdksk
things i know about 11089’s appearance (revealed to me as if receiving prophecy):
1) You know those posts about how the ultimate image of androgyny in our society ends up being people who are skinny and hairless and sexless? so there’s our starting point, the horror story of that being forced upon you because it’s more useful for you to be as similar to the rest of the crew as possible because then you can simply be quantified by the amount of resources you can provide versus those you take. because every single time i think about this spaceship, it becomes an even more dystopian situation because how else would they survive when they were underprepared and have no way of getting help.
1a) what i’m saying is there’s a very good reason they’re instantly fascinated by visual modes of self-expression like dyeing hair. (similarly fascinated by other bodily changes, whether natural, like when Donna gets a burst of freckles across her face when she’s been out in the sun, or unnatural, absolutely transfixed by piercings and good for them.)
1b) they are going to be so much better off once they’re living on the TARDIS and can put on some weight and some muscle from running around with aliens and let their hair grow out all fluffy and uneven (and eventually accidentally turn it orange through hair bleach mishaps and keep it that way)
2) related, but they tend to prefer bright colors on other people rather then themself, for the most part. fun sometimes but attention-grabbing in a way that layered shades of gray are less so. so however they dress, it’s with a trend towards darker colors with little splashes of brightness from accessories or such.
3) set in stone for me now is the idea that where this story ends up going is ‘Someone Has To Keep An Eye On Donna And Her Completely Human Friend, John Smith’. If a Donna can’t survive being a human metacrisis or whatever with all the Doctor’s memories in her little human brain, why should Ten 2.0 be any different. Donna gets mindwiped, but Ten Again goes voluntarily to keep living, to stay near her, a measure that will mean if her memory starts itching her about some ‘Doctor’, she’ll associate his face with John instead and stop digging.
Which wraps back around to 11089 because I’m now very attached to Another Ten getting FOB watched and 11089 wearing it on a chain at all times. It’s definitely a totally normal and reasonable burden for them to carry their friends’ lives around their neck. this is very healthy behavior and does NOT show a lack of ability to set boundaries in situations that will end up hurting them or a need to prove that they can be useful that overrides everything else. they’re fine. this will not end up going horribly wrong as the guilt of hiding these things from people they love gnaws at them, and they start looking for any other solution only to find dead end after dead end and get desperate enough to start thinking ‘well, if the doctor couldn’t figure it out, maybe if we had another timelord-’
3a) but that’s not important. what’s important is watch on a chain that they can never ever open.
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itspileofgoodthings · 1 year ago
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but on a more serious note, I do hate when any adaptation--but especially this one!--decides to change the nature of specific uncomfortable or antagonistic character interactions to something softer or sweeter, or even just decided to give two characters that don't get along or interact much at all A Moment™. That really is not always the right call!
#this is about charlotte and lizzy#and to a lesser extent lizzy and mrs. bennet#i was talking to @ihaveonlymydreams the other day about Lizzy and Charlotte! and the thing is:#they were never truly friends#not on the deepest level. it's a friendship of convenience and a friendship built around judgy gossip#for the most part#charlotte marrying collins doesn't suddenly change their dynamic so Lizzy can never see her the same way again.#it reveals the truth that was there all along: that she and Charlotte do have wildly different priorities and values#and those differing values make them pretty incompatible#as anything more than acquaintances#and it's so uncomfortable for lizzy to face that#and there's no fixing it because das just who Charlotte IS#but now she can see it. and so she comes to visit and she writes letters for the sake of what was as Austen tells us#and because lizzy iS loyal#but that is truly not a moment where it's about lizzy being too harsh on charlotte and then having to be like 'we still love each other'#and i do kind of hate when stories do that in general. just flatten everything into something feel-good#sometimes things are bad and disappointing and flat and that's just the truth#I feel this with Mrs Bennet a little bit less because it's smaller but again. it's like. how much pathos do we need to feel for her#also she just doesn't like lizzy! never has. least favorite daughter#anyway a million more thoughts but yeah. one of the things about P&P is that Lizzy doesn't actually learn what friendship is#until after Darcy.#it's such a true growing up story. in the sense of: she thinks she's done and she's not#anyway anyway many more thoughts on how charlotte's decision to marry collins is framed too#too sympathetically tbh#it's not just fear. charlotte just also doesn't give a damn about romance asdlfas;fasfsafsaflkasl;fsjafsafsafsf#she said i want a home and i want a parlor and if i have a fool of a husband that's okay with ME#and it's not even about (for the moment) judging the choice. it's just seeing it clearly for what it actually is#2005 liveblog
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snekdood · 6 months ago
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ppl who larp about the Revolution™ almost seem to expect someone *else* to take the leading role in it all so they can sit inside on their asses and do jack shit, they know they have no meaningful skills to offer and would only slow people down, but expect to *somehow* magically radicalize most americans into doing all the work for them because awww dey're just such a weak wittle babu that needs to be pwotected and defwended awlways uwu
like. come on. get a grip. if everything went your way and someone actually stronger than you came along to take the lead, you're likely not being invited, and you'll likely be left behind... which means left to the alt right, who will no doubt come to your house to see if you're perpetuating anything "woke", and you gotta know they wont just ask, they'll barge in and look through everything even your computer.
though, you should really focus on your plan. your first step: get along with people enough to even actually convince them its a good idea, and we all know you'll never dare to try that shit. you cant even be on here w/o blocking someone like me for even suggesting you are approaching this like a child playing war and you have NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
you think you want a second holocaust (which is essentially letting trump win, i mean hitler got the majority vote in germany. thats how he rose to power. didn't just materialize out of thin air), but you dont seem to grasp the gravity of what that entails, or even that you'd be thrown in the camps with everyone else, all to stick it to jewish ppl and "the libs", even if it means you and all the ones you love die along with them. you are a net negative to humanity and quite frankly should be on a fucking watch list.
#tankies#accelerationists#i dont think the power of love and friendship is gonna carry you through this one guys#you're waiting for someone to come along and save you- this revolution is nothing more than a complex fantasy of you being saved#and protected. nothing more.#i understand you're scared. i understand you've made this idea your whole life and the only thing you dream about to feel better#about living in a world where you're oppressed and constantly in pain and have no power. it makes sense. i create such fantasies for myself#sometimes. but when we come back to reality- we cant expect to take the whole fantasy with us per se#the world isnt one day going to magically go exactly your way. its just not going to happen. it'd be nice if it did- we think- but it wont#you have to be more practical in this. you can use your fantasy as a motivator. a goal. be the change you want to see etc. etc.#but YOU have to take steps making it a reality. no one is going to be the all knowing person who saves you from all the problems#and can do all the things you cant do and save the day or whatever. it's never going to happen. you have to be that person#for yourself. if you're gonna larp about a revolution you have to at the bare minimum have this understood.#after that- you need conflict resolutions skills and to know how to communicate#you'll need to learn how to get along with people you dont like at all. you'll need to learn how to communicate your ideas effectively#you'll need to learn how to argue and defend your ideas and how to have the humility to be wrong and accept it and the ability#to change your mind. you'll have to educate yourself and keep educating yourself. you'll have to learn how to actually listen to other#ppl instead of trying to find a way to manipulate them to believe what you do#and after all that social stuff is out of the way- you need to learn some mother fucking SURVIVAL SKILLS BITCH#how to FIGHT and SURVIVE in any kind of environment. how to use weapons and build fires out of nothing n shit#if you cant manage all of that? you're fucked.
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