#In life we can find ourself in a dark forest

[thisismenow3]

Getting into your 30s can def be this. And I’m here to tell you that even your fears of the worst version of what OP relates are just spiraling. I’ve had a lot go wrong in my 20s with my health, my spouse’s, my family dynamics, I lost many friendships that later on I was glad to have lost and left friendships I’ve made peace with trying to salvage for too long. I’ve made a new great friendship with more forming finally. My health and my spouse’s still have lows but we are managing despite our bs healthcare. We still have many estranged family members, but like the friendship blank slate they all needed to be pushed away. And the one thing that is different about me now with my new hobbies, friends, and outlook on life is being able to enjoy the truly enjoyable despite almost anything. Cause even if things still need fixing in life I’ve learned so much and am a much better person on top of the wisdom.

The point is that there is always another side, the dark forest is not endless, sometimes the opening is a clearing but eventually you find the true way out to the verdant grasslands where you belong.

listen. aging into your thirties rocks. yes your joints get a little creaky. yes you can’t sleep in a pretzel on the floor anymore after a concert or a convention. and you lose some friends. but the thing is that you sort out who your real friends are and you sort out who you really are. and you get to see your friends settling into careers they like, and adopt new dogs and cats, and you find a job you can stand, and get really good at arts and crafts, and maybe that book you loved as a kid gets a movie deal and it doesn’t suck, and you learn to like new food and bake your own bread, and you realize that the great portfolio of self harm scars you all used to curate are going white with age and not updated, and half your friends are a different gender now and so much happier and maybe you are too, and you know who you are, and that it’s a journey and not a revelation. it’s a direction you’re headed, and you’re enjoying the trip.

reaching your 30′s rocks. and i’m hearing good things about what comes next, too.

[minti-tales]

FFXIV Write, Day 26 - Last

I am the Bad Wolf.

Contains spoilers for patch 6.0, Endwalker, and the Dark Knight quests of Final Fantasy XIV. Events are adjusted for ease of narration. Some dialogue is borrowed from in game.

CW: Mental Health

-----

(The Knightly Mother) It is done. At the end of all things, it is finally done. Zenos yae Galvus breathes no more.

(The Royal Volunteer) Last one standing, alright, lads! Good damned riddance comin' from all a' us, I say. Right bastard put up a hell of a fight, but we did the same, didn't we? All that trainin' paid off. I think this dark knight, Greene Knight, whatever ye want to call it business, we got it figured out. Can't wait to get back to home and…oh, hells. We're hurtin' again.

Hey! Artist! The hell's goin' on with us?

(The Artist) We just fought one of the most powerful Garleans in existence, what do you think? I'm doing everything I can to keep her stabilised. Good news, she's a lot more tough than she used to be. Bad news, I can't see a way home. Nothing but emptiness.

(The Royal Volunteer) No shite we're tough, we're the bloody Warrior of Light and a bloody tank, too. You know our job is to be at the center a' things, man. An' another thing, I- What's that you said? Nothing?

(The Artist) No stars, nothing. Just us and him, and he's dying. Wait. Someone else. A…girl? There's a girl, dressed in blue, and she's got feathers? She's walking towards us.

(Steel Queen) I can detect no weapons on their person. No threat in the immediate area.

(The Artist) Thank you, that's very helpful.

(Steel Queen) Sarcasm detected.

(The Artist) I am beyond getting baited into banter with you, Queen.

-----

(Meteion) Greetings, you who are my final encounter. I wish to hear your words. Share your feelings. Know your thoughts.

May we please…be friends?

In all but a moment, the familiar known as Meteion felt herself become engulfed by a great rush of water. It wasn't scary, not at all - the water was quite nice, and the sun shone so bright! It was almost like dipping her feet into a pool with the ambystomas Hythlodaeus enjoyed so much.

Come towards the light, beautiful bird. We are waiting for you, came the warm whisper of a fiery ballerina.

Quick as a frilled fish, Meteion rose to the surface of the water and, by the magic of dreams and thought, flew to cloudless azure skies.

What beautiful sights awaited her, below. Soaring mountains, verdant forests, cities both tall and wide. Rivers and seas, and islands, and-!

This is Etheirys, our home, and yours, a noble knight's voice whispered.

A long journey we've had, on this mudball of a planet. Sadness, and joy, and hope. We've had it all, whispered the gruff voice of a soldier.

(Meteion) So many people… The thoughts of them overflowing in your heart…What they live for, what gives their lives meaning. There was never a single answer.

Variable, unable to be quantified, stated a metallic queen's voice matter-of-factly. Life is precious. A resource to be treasured.

(Meteion) Thank you for guiding me here. To find these words at journey's end fills me with joy.

We are the Choir. We are Ourself. We are a gift from Hydaelyn that weighs heavily, and yet, as it should, whispered a warrior with honor in their heart. To know us is to know The Mother Crystal. We are the voices that speak with no sound. We love, we weep, we toil, we live. We live.

(Meteion) If you would allow it, I would sing one last song. A song of the newfound joy that swells in my heart. A song of hope.

(The Knightly Mother) Take my hands and sing with us, dear child. Let me hold you as I once did my daughter, if you will let me.

(Meteion) Yes, I would like that.

Somewhere, high up in the golden heavens of thought, Herme's familiar sang a song of creation, flanked by a whole masked Chorus.

-----

"Are you…are you with us? Thank the heavens, she's alive!"

[isabelldanmakufan]

Youkai Academy Occult Ball Madness Episode 1: New Incident Part 1

(Snowy Mountain, 11:10 AM)

Yume: Ready, alliance?

(Magician of Dreams: Yume)

Kyo: Hooo-Yah!

Akuma: Uhhh...

(Toy of Dreams: Kyo)

(Gardener of Nightmares: Akuma)

Akuma: Yume, I'm not so sure about this, I mean, I could have a blanket...

Yume: Ugh, what do you mean?

Akuma: I mean, this is a bad idea to do this, we could just leave..

Yume: Nonsense! How could this be a bad idea?!

(Danger: This area is dangerous, please leave this area right now.)

Meiseki: ...

(Maid of Dreams: Meiseki)

Meiseki: Se-seriously, Yume, this place is dangerous and we soon might end up injuring ourself!

Kyo: Stop, ruining, our lifes, Meiseki, god...

Meiseki: Quiet Kyo, we should never do something dangerous like our teacher said to us..

Kyo: Bye-bye! (Pushes Akuma and Yume off the ciff)

Akuma: Aaaaaaaaaaaaa.....

Kyo: (Looks at Meiseki)

Meiseki: ....Uhhh... Why don't we just.... NOOOOOOO!!!!! (Falls off the ciff by the rope)

(Cuts to Akuma and Meiseki falling)

Akuma: Haha! This is awesome!

Meiseki: Aaaaah! I'M NOT READY TO DIE!

Akuma: Oof!

Meiseki: Ugh!

(Meiseki and Akuma stuck on the ropes)

Yume: Aaaaaa-! (Falls on the ground)

Luna: Woah! Are you guys okay?

(Fairy of the Light: Luna)

Yume: Falling, falling.. Ugh..

Luna: Hmmm... (Sees Akuma and Meiseki stuck) I can see you guys there!

Meiseki: Thanks Luna, I was happy that you helped.

Luna: Happy too!

Meiseki: I mean, I feel like I wanna get out somehow!

Akuma: Same, cause being stuck is so boring...

Yume: Sumgy!

Toasty: Bleep!

(Bear of Toast: Toasty)

(Large rainbow laser coming out of Toasty's mouth)

Toasty: (^_^)

(Cuts to Kyo still in the Snowy Mountain)

Kyo: (Whistling)

Kyo: (Notices a rainbow laser coming near her) Huh?

(Kyo gets burned up by the laser and falls on the ground)

Kyo: Hey guys!

Kyo: (Notices 3 Toasts and picks one) Mm, toast!

Luna: You guys should be very careful, it's not fun to be playing stuffs, they are dangerous! What should the teacher said to us if you do something like this?

Akuma: Uhhh, maybe the same thing?

(...)

(Magic Park, 12:29 PM)

(Cuts to Star walking)

Star: Ah.. What a peaceful day..

(Shooting Stars of Space: Hata no Star)

Star: Zzzz..... (Begins to sleep)

(...)

Kuro: NOW!

Shino: (Cuts the rope to make the ball fall on Star)

(Ball falls on Star,)

Star: Ah!

(But it missed her)

Star: What the hell is wrong with you two?!

Star: Don't you ever just stop bothering students?!

Shino: Uhhhh.... Heh... We're just playing on you, right?

(Prankster of Light: Shino)

Star: Oh really?

Kuro: Yeah, but we have to annoy other students, so we could be a great prank-

(Prankster of Dark: Kuro)

(The ball starts to roll away)

Kuro: OH MY GOSH, THE BALL!

Kuro: I NEVER LET YOU GOOOOO!!!!! (Starts to follow the ball, leading her to the forest)

Shino: Kuro, wait! DAMN IT! (Chases her)

Star: Huh, awkward...

(Cuts to Sapphire and Aqua playing seesaw and talking)

Sapphire: Aqua, don't you ever just give up on the occult balls you found earlier morning?

(Sharpening of Blue Gem: Sapphire)

Aqua: Sapphire, for the last time, I was not giving up on those occult balls!

(Child of the Sea: Aqua)

Sapphire: Uhh, explanation?

Aqua: Look, I accidentally found them when I was collecting mushrooms to make them waters in the forest, but later, I saw a mirror floating!

Sapphire: Uhhh....

Aqua: It's like... It can be touched and a mysterious person can come to our world, it could be even true if it was real-!

Rockie: Guys, watch out!

(Smashing of Flames: Rockie)

Aqua: Eh?

Sapphire: What?

Rockie: (Pushes Aqua and Sapphire from the ball, and the ball destroys the seesaw)

Snowy: What just happened here?!

(Princess of the Snow Falls: Snowy)

Rockie: That was a ball, coming near to Aqua and Sapphire..

Snowy: Wait, we better go check it right?

Aqua: Yeaaaaaaaah....

(...)

(Forest, 12:55 PM)

(Cuts to Sakura walking in the forest, deeply worried that she's missing)

Sakura: O-Okay, I can do it...

(Moon Rabbit of Cherry Blossoms: Sakura)

Sakura: Now, c-calm down me.. You are fine... But no, no..

Sakura: (Sighs)

Sakura: (Looks to left and right, seeing if someone is near to her)

Sakura: (Pulls her shotgun)

Sakura: Whoever is there, I will use my shotgun on you!

Sakura: My friends are looking for me, please don't beat me or else I'll use force!

(Shadowy figure pass by Sakura, making her look scared)

Sakura: Who...who was that.....?!

Sakura: I will catch you!

(Sakura chases the shadowy figure, and stops when she saw something)

Sakura: Huh...?

(Sakura notices a mirror floating)

Sakura: Oh no... I must report this to Cache!

Sakura: Hm? (Notices a lot of running noises)

Sakura: Did they found out that it was here....?

(...)

(Youkai Academy, 1:49 PM)

(Cuts to Cache in her dorm, making a robot, and finished it)

Cache: Yes, my latest robot has been finally completed!

(Moon Rabbit Scientist: Cache)

Cache: Wonder what I'm gonna do...

(Sakura opens Cache's door, panting)

Cache: Oh hey Sakura, why are you panting?

Sakura: Ha... Cache, there's a mirror in the forest...

Cache: What?

Sakura: Haaa.... There's a mirror, in the forest!

Cache: Mirror in the forest? I will look an info on this, how about you get Everest and Scouty finding there?

Sakura: Everest and Scouty are already there, along with other students..

Cache: ....oh...

(Forest, 2:37 PM)

(Cuts to Kuro waiting for Shino)

Shino: Aaaaaaaa-whoooa...

Shino: What's going on here?

Everest: Sakura told us that there's a mirror here!

Scouty: She also saw a shadowy figure here, there's something wrong going on..

(Rich Moon Rabbit Girl: Everest)

(Kindy Moon Rabbit: Scouty)

Aqua: Is this the reason why this was caused by Kuro?

Kuro: Liar, I didn't even caused that crap!

Aqua: Oh really? Then what were you doing at the park?

Kuro: Me and Shino was doing a prank on Star, everyone knows that, Aqua!

Star: Please don't fight guys!

Isabell: What's going on here, everyone?

(Angel Fangirl of Touhou: Isabell Aoi)

Cotton: Did a incident happen by any chance?

(Sweets of Lolipop: Cotton Candy)

Sapphire: No, an mirror just happened in here..

Isabell: Mirror?

Cotton: Wait what?

Listy: Great, now we have another rpg stuff happening in our world!

(Bird of Yellow Sky: Listy Yeast)

Violet: (Sighs) This is why we shouldn't trust ourselves in situations like this...

(Goth Angel of the Rabbits: Violet Gothic)

Yume: Touch... Touc-..

Meiseki: Stop that, sis!

Yume: Why not?

Meiseki: Because.... Uggggh!

Isabell: Here, Meiseki, let me touch it.

Isabell: (Touches a mirror)

Isabell: ...

Every Youkai Academy Students: ....

Yume: Well, that was a waste of tim-

(FLASH!)

Every Youkai Academy Students: (Panting)

Isabell: Is everyone all right?!

Sakura: God! What just flash into us?!

Rockie: Loook!

Every Youkai Academy Students: (Gasps and notices a strange Shadowy Figure floating)

(to be continued..)

[wiltedclown]

Episode Five: Colour

In which someone wakes up.

**********************

The fluorescent lights above me make me squint, but that’s the least of my problems. My entire body feels like it’s been ripped apart into individual molecules and hot-glued back together. Even the smallest movement accentuates the pain like it’s coloured in neon, bright and burning hot. My vision shakes, blurry with tears. I can’t scream, and it’s not just because of the cloth stuffed in my mouth. The world before us is in shades of grey and grey alone.

“look.”

I think I hear something, but I ignore it. Aural hallucinations haven’t done any good for me up until now and I refuse to acknowledge them now.

...Wait, no they haven’t? I’ve never heard things that aren’t there before in my life?

Yes, I have.

No, I haven’t.

No, I have, because remember that’s how I got here in the first place! Remember, I was walking in the forest and I heard someone calling my name, “Loreli!”, like my mum’s voice. But my name’s not Loreli, it’s Aiden. What? No, what am I thinking? I’m Loreli. Lo-re-li. Remember? Jesus, fuck this hurts.

I don’t think pain should be doing this to me. I’m not called Loreli, I’ve never met anyone called Loreli, I didn’t get here by listening to my dead mother calling me. Mum’s not dead though, why am I thinking that? She’s at home with Cecil. Fuck, she’s probably worried. What? No, mama died ages ago. Remember, I went to her grave and put those nice pink flowers on? No? I didn’t do that, I remember I talked to her, like, half an hour ago.

“Look at yourself.”

What the fuck’s happening? I feel myself begin to shake. I don’t know what’s happening. Suddenly it’s like I have twice the usual amount of memories and none of them are made-up. Is somebody in my head? No, is somebody in my head?

My face stings suddenly and I see a blur of movement out the corner of my eye. Someone grabs my face and jolts it to face them.

“Listen to me when I speak to you.”

All arguments in my head dim to an electrical buzz. I shut down. Well, whichever half of me that’s desperately afraid of physical contact does, anyway.

“That’s better.”

I’m looking at what looks like a person made of the void. They look like they’re an angel, full of soft pale colour, light reds and yellows and pinks with cyan shadows against their nose. Everything about them makes the back of my neck feel like ice. Half of my instinct says run, run, get out of there, get away from them, while the other half says stay, listen to them, they’re dangerous and will hurt you. Both halves seem to be in agreement that the person gripping my head could easily crush it and is bad news.

“Did you hear what I said?” I can’t answer. “No, of course not. I knew you’d be useless. Let me guess, you were arguing with each other over whose head it is?”

static. something about what they just said made everything burn ten times worse. the buzz in my ears turns into sharp crackles. it hurts.

“Well, whoever was winning is wrong. It’s neither of your heads. It’s your new shared head. Welcome to the world, Aideli.”

.

..;

.’13#’}{no;;.:

“Look down.”

we look down.

hovering above our body is what can be loosely defined as a soul. a more fitting word is a monstrosity. what it actually is is two souls, messily sewn together with scraps of void and space. that explains the burning.

the souls are two different colours, one dark red and one pale blue. they’ve been molded into two blobs so that they can be put together and look somewhat like one whole soul. the nightmare-coloured person flits around the workbench, prodding and poking at it, taking things out and so it’s not too large for the gaping cavity in our chest where ONE soul should reside.

“My name is Cecilia, by the way. You can call me mother if you like, although I’d much prefer you didn’t. I’m more like a… creator. There we go! Call me either Cecilia or your Creator.”

we don’t react. cecilia plucks a memory out from the middle of our now-combined soul and both halves react by screaming in pain.

“Well, at least your voice works! It sounds like just one voice, as well, rather than two discordant voices, which is what I was afraid of. I don’t want to have to put you under again!”

she took our names. she took my name and my name and now we’re just aideli. we’re one. we absolutely hate it.

“So, Aideli, I’m really sorry about all the pain. It’ll be over soon! I just need to take out two or three more chunks and then we’ll be all done and I can stitch you up!” another memory, gone. that one felt like something to do with our childhood. “I’ll be honest, you actually weren’t meant to wake up so soon, but I think it’s really for the best; this way you get to see what’s happening, at least! And I know your pain receptors are working!”

she pries out one last clump of memory and anything personal we remember is gone. how did we get here? where is here? we remember things like city names but anything about us is gone. our mother could be dead after all, but we wouldn’t know. that memory is sitting in the dish in cecilia’s hand.

“All done, Aideli! I’ll leave you to recover, shall I turn off the light?” noyesnoyesnoyesnoyes

“Nes” Cecilia pauses for a moment.

“I’ll just turn the big light off and leave the little one on my desk on, shall I?”

we’re left in darkness. our head still buzzes. we know that we had different names but we’ve forgotten them. it’s all wrong, why did she do this to us, why why why why why wh

***************************************************

We don’t know how much time passes before the pain stops. One day it just turns off and we can think coherently again. Our “soul” is back in our body again, at least. We still haven’t seen ourself but we’re afraid to, if we’re honest. All of the colours in the world are gone, replaced with monochrome and shades of grey; apparently, colour doesn’t exist in the Void. It kind of sucks, but it’s by far not the worst thing about our situation. (it is it is i hate it where are all the colours)

Cecilia’s told us a fair amount about herself, and ourself. Apparently she made us to be her friend (although we’d really rather never see her ever again) because she was a goddess cast down from the other gods and goddesses (good, she deserves it). She was exiled to the void and only recently discovered the human Soul. She took a liking to both halves of us and decided she wanted both of us, but only as one being. So she decided that she’d just… borrow our souls and make a new one. Our families “should have forgotten you exist, so don’t worry about them being scared for you! There’s no pain on either of your halves because neither of you remember each other!”. A wonderful example of her faulty logic in action. (faulty logic is an understatement.)

As it turns out, there’s a lot of pain on both of our halves. Physical and emotional. We don’t get along very well. We also detest the name Aideli. (it’s ugly like some sort of wine name) (shut up) Unfortunately, neither of us know our names. One of us prefers the first half of our name, though, and the other prefers the second half. Aid and Eli. (no, it was much nicer than Eli. it was like some sort of pretty flower name. I hate this. I want my name back.) (so do I, you aren’t special.) (at least I’m not some sort of fucking holier-than-thou asshat with a name like Aid) (my name isn’t Aid, that’s just a part of it.) (sure thing Aid) (catty bitch) (stupid dick) (we have more important things to do.)

Anyway. We’ve decided that, until we find a better name, we’ll just stay as Aid and Eli. We’re on the same team until we get out of here. Team Aideli. (that’s fucking stupid) (what’s your suggestion then, your highness?) (fuck off don’t be a dick)

(team aideli it is.)

***********************************************

After an unknown period of time, something happens. The room we’re in, chained to the table, disappears. Our entire field of vision is coated red. The black and white monochrome of the room is flooded with this new colour. We panic in two different ways; one half breaks down immediately, trying its best to scream and cry. The other half maintains its composure, searching desperately for an explanation. Both halves come to the conclusion that we’re dying. Neither half can deal with this fact and a sob works its way past our lips.

For the first time since our creation, we sit upright. This confirms our belief that we’ve died; heavy steel restraints have pinned us to the table for as long as we can remember, and they aren’t easily moved. There is no whirr of laboratory equipment, no tick-tock of the metronome on Cecilia’s desk, no static buzz of the surrounding Void. For the first time in our short life, we’re in total silence.

Standing on shaky legs, we shift ourself off the bench. Every joint clicks from lack of use, like we’re temporarily made of clockwork. The fog lifts, just a little. Shades of red surround us, the entire room bathed in a deep, bloody red. Hesitantly, a step is taken and we move forward. We have no idea where we’re going next, but we make a beeline for the door. It opens easily; bizarre, since she always locks it behind her. We aren’t complaining, though.

It seems like hours pass as we make our way up the hallway before us, trembling. Red, red, red, the only thing we see is red and silhouettes. It’s horrible, but it could be worse. We could still be trapped against that godforsaken table.

Footsteps. Our adrenaline glands overreact, pumping our bloodstream with adrenaline before we register what’s happening. We whip around to see.. nothing. We begin to run, the end of the hallway becoming clear. A red exit sign is the only source of light and we gravitate towards it like a moth. We count our steps, running in a rhythm, one-two-one-two we’re nearly there. BANGBANGBANG the footsteps sound like they’re catching up to us hurry up hurry up!

Bursting through the door, we keep running. We’re in a field and don’t try to look back. The field is still tinted red, though, so we suppose we aren’t out of it yet. Our lungs scream at us to slow down, take a breath, you can’t keep doing this but we ignore them, our broken soul begs us to lie down and just think for a moment but we can’t stop, there are still footsteps behind us and they sound metallic, organised, terrifying

“COME BACK AIDELI” we aren’t coming back “PLEASE I’M BEGGING YOU DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE” no no no no “LISTEN TO MY ORDERS AIDELI” no i’m not going back you can’t make me “I BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD I CAN TAKE YOU OUT” no don’t take me back there don’t hurt me again

My legs stop working. I turn around, ascending above fear into absolute abject terror. Something’s approaching. It’s a nightmarish version of Her.. Her hair, usually calm cloudlike puffs, has evolved into pale blue daggers, almost metallic. Her teeth are razor-sharp and the length of my arm. Her body is twisted and deformed, like someone took a model of her and melted it in an oven. Any friendly appearance she managed to keep is completely ruined. She is no longer a she. She’s a monster, a demon, a nightmare.

She approaches me agonisingly slowly. “Don’t leave me alone.” I can’t reply. She goes to touch my face nononononononodonttouchmegetawayhelpplease

the void hears your plea

Her eyes widen as black tendrils of Void emerge from the darkness and seize her by her limbs. A horrible screech fills my ears as she’s torn limb from limb, awful metallic-smelling blood drenching us as it spurts out from her torso, bones crack and crunch. Discordant screams disappear into the void as the Void swallows her in small bites. Her head is the last to go, melting back to its normal cloudlike state. A silent ‘o’ of horror rests on her lips and we look her in the eyes as we hear the awful crunch of her skull being crushed.

The red and the grey of the void smash out of existence and normal colour returns to the world. She’s gone. I’m free. I stagger backwards.

WE turn and sprint in the opposite direction. We’re crying, shaking, replaying the scene in our head. A few metres away we collapse into a ball, screaming noiselessly in the grass. we have to get away come on move we need to go come on come on you useless piece of

We pitifully drag ourself along the ground, staining our hospital scrubs with green, still crying, totally exhausted. We look up and wipe our eyes and observe the blurry landscape before us. A way away from us, we see a cave in the side of the mountain next to us. We crawl helplessly towards it, hiccoughing and crying.

Hours pass. Or seconds. We can’t tell.

We move slowly.

The sun hurts our eyes.

We can’t muster up enough energy to fight ourself.

Everything is too much.

We reach the cave.

We sleep.

[ritarmandi]

Describe Yourself In Three Fictional Characters

So @yourbestmate tagged me a long-long-long time ago. I’ve no idea what I’m doing right now, because I’m not able to describe myself because of my self-knowledge issues.... Tough I’m doing my best to find some attribution which is quite similar with someone. (Note: finally I chose one person. :) )

Stiles Stilinski

I know, I know... Maybe this sounds crazy when you’ve seen it first. But believe me, it’s not because I like him and hence I’m trying to force his personality into my one. The thing is I can understand his character quite good, because I think we have something in common. However, I have to emphasize I know I have nothing to do with Stiles from Season 1 and 2 - okay, maybe just a little bit. But I’m more likely Stiles from Season 3 and up nowdays.

So let’s see

 - Stiles is smart and knows random facts what he likes to share in the most illogical moments. 

This is literally me. However I’m not considering myself smart enough, I can speak about random idiotic topics for hours, and share a complete collections of knowledge about how was forexample the investigation history of Jack The Ripper - and of course I’m doing it in the middle of a family dinner. Well.... Also I’m that kind of person who is able to write an essay about male circumstansation and is able to enjoy it. My life is ridicolous. xD

- He’s a geek, and he uses a tones of different pop-cultural references.  

If you’ve ever speaked with me, or have ever read any of my fanfics than you know that I always coming up with random pop cultural references, and it’s natural that I can connect LOTR, TW, SW, HP, GOT etc. to anything anytime. There is no conversation with me without some geek-talking. Also @nosetothewind94 is the living proof that I always want to compare myself to fictional characters - who are not fitting with my personality, but who cares. :) (Just like Stiles)

 - Stiles is witty, clever and very sarcastic - even sometimes cynic. 

My sense of humor is so ironic-sarcastic-cynic that even I can’t understand it sometimes - just kidding. xD

- Also Stiles is using this kind of humor to protect himself from the world. Using sarcasm is a way to live through situations what are dark, bad, or difficult to process. And I think slowly sarcasm is able to change cynism. 

Well, this happened with me, not just with Stiles. However, I love those kind of humor. Shoot me.

 - Stiles is playing with words, he would be a very good lawyer in a way. (I’m not imagining him as a lawyer, but he has the ability. I think the way he’s able to confuses people with his quick, clever, word-twisting way is amazing.) 

Well, I’m definietly not amazing, but I’m a lawyer, and I’m able to produce such a long, mind twisting sentences, that it is almost impossible to understand. xD And just like Stiles, i’ve the ability to explain myself out from situations. 

 - Stiles loves mysteries, he loves to solve them, also he’s totally into invetigations, crimes, criminology, forensics and criminal justice in general. Also he has the mind to find the connections between cases. 

Well...as far as you know me, than you should know, I’m in love with criminal justice related stuffes for ages - more precisely since my age of 6. I guess we’re similar with our favourite boy, who is sneaking out to a forest during night just for find a dead body... (I’m not saying I haven’t done anything like that.... I’m NOT saying.) Also I LOVE when I finally understand something, and everything is clicked on my mind, and there is the connection what I’ve searched for. 

 - To Stiles his friends and family is more important than anything else. He literally sacrificed himself just to save his dad. He is prepared to step into the oil with Scott. He always put his friends and family in front of himself, even if those people are not recognize his acts, or just accept it, because it’s natural to them that Stiles is there all the time, and he’s solving all their problems, or help to them. BUT  I’ve to enhance that he is doing this because he WANTS to help.

For me, my friends are in the first place, and I allow somtimes too much to my family  - sometimes also to my friends - because I want to give them comfort and help. And I’m that kind of person who is obscuring his feelings just to save her loved ones - just like Stiles. In the same time both me and Stiles are very sensitive, and we have lot’s of feelings and high functioning EQ besides IQ - holy shit, this was my ego speaking, hi there! xD. Also I literally say sentences to my friends as peptalks all the time just like Stiles does.

 - So I mentioned Stiles was sacrificed himself for his dad and friends - both  literally and figuratively -,  because he feels it in his heart and bones he has to do that - even if he says it otherwise. I think he just loves them so much that his feelings are winning over his mind; and he doesn’t care what kind of effects his acts would have into his own life. But these effects are tragical in a way: because he has to fight with his own mind and has to collect his own pieces. He has insomnia, and panic attacks, he’s anxious and he’s terrified what is happening with him. Still, he’s fighting. 

I’ve never cared about my own feelings - because other people are always more important than myself -, and however I was not killed by after a vet-but-druid’s crazy idea just to resurrect my parents, but I know how it is feels, when you feel you have to protect your loved ones from the world and sometimes - just like in the case with the nogitsune Stiles has to - from himself. 

I’m dealing with panic attacks, insomnia and anxiety. It has lot of reasons why I have problems like this - and now I’m in that kind of state when finally after years I’m able to speak about this. So, one of the reasons is that I’m an adopted child, and it’s not the same to looose a parent like Stiles did. But the psychological process behind it the same: My biological mum for me is not alive - it’s that kind of loss what has effects on my life. And not so long time ago my adopted mum - who I call MOM - said to me that I’m a parasite in her life, and she is not feeling herself a real mother. It is still not the same, but after this conversation I felt I not just lost my biological mother and than my mom, so my panic attacks started that time around. The main point, that I can understand little Stiles who had - and still has - problems  with his mother’s death, and I can understand he’s balming himself, because I’m doing the same.. I can understand why he can’t sleep later - I know there is the nogitsune, but later, after the nogitsune Stiles whole attitude was changed because of guilt, the lack of self-confidence, and the fear of his own mind (what it is able to do with him and with his friends). Yeah, I haven’t been possessed by an evil fox spirit, but the results and the problems are similar. Sometimes I’m stucked with my own mind, and screaming like Stiles did, and I’d like to wake up, but I can’t - just like Stiles couldn’t.

 - Finally - because this post is more longer than it should be - there is that change what I mentioned: after the nogitsune Stiles attitude became darker. His sarcasm slowly changed into cynicism - not all the time, because he still has that fantastic sarcasm what is his “trademark” -, but his way of thinking changed: it’s darker, he’s suspicious, he’s prepared to fend off  any kind of attacks, and he’s prepared to attack. He’s not able to trust as easy as before. He’s more anxious than before. 

I think these kind of experiences are able to change us. The last two years I’ve to lived through stuffes what changed me. The way how I’m watching the world is changed into this all-time-prepared attitude what Stiles has now. And we both have very complicated trust issues. Both Stiles and me are able to switch into a darker, suspicious view within minutes; we can prepare for the worst, because we have to.

 - And finally here is this moment:

I think this is The Stiles who is hidden under that much sarcasm and cynism; under the funy reposts. This is The Stiles who sacrificed everything, he gave up everything, who is broken under the mask he is wearing. And this was the exact moment, when it was too much, when Scott’s ignorance was enough to him, when all the shit he was going trought was enough to him. It’s him, as he wants some  understanding, he wants some love and support, because it was too much, it was enough. 

Also that three sentences are perfect. I think it’s us, it’s everyone: because we can’t be perfect. We’re humans because we do mistakes, because we’re able to do both amazing and horrifying things. I love Stiles’s way how he expressed this: we can’t be perfect, and that’s okay, because perfection is just an illusion what we’re lying to ourselfs. We can’t hide ourselfes and wearing a mask all the time, or we can’t live an illusin. We have to accept our - and others -  mistakes, and the same time the world has to accept us just like as we are. 

As for me... Well, let’s be enough to say It is completly me. 

So this is me. Jesus, i maybe overdid this a little bit? xD 

I think I’m tagging the following friends:  @pale-silver-comb , @im-a-feather-in-the-wind , @remushroozley , @ivoriholmes , @sterekohtp

I’m sure someone asked this from you before me, so it is okay to me, if you just ignore this post.  Or -  if you have time - and you already answered it, but I missed, that would be awsome if you tagged me, or give me a link maybe to your previous answer. :) Because I’m really curious. :)

[shapeshifting-arch-mage]

9/23/2018, Part 1

We are now running through the forest, huffing and puffing, trying to catch up to Baku.

"Temmie... why are we-"

"i gota get to Baku! i gota get to Baku!"

"But wh-"

"i gota tell him wy i havent ben goin to hapy fun raevtime!1!"

Against my wishes, we continue to run toward the oasis.

[Baku] After leaving the haunted house Baku found himself wandering toward the oasis, he had heard about this place in the past and wanted to check it out himself. It was much warmer here and quiet. "Well that was an adventure."

[Sirius] Sirius would soon pop out of the ground, attempting to shake off the frost on his petals. “Yeah...” He would start thinking about what just happened, and spaced out due to it, deep thoughts. Why didn’t he get fear? He has seen far worse though, mostly monsters beating each other, yet he felt no fear from that either, and only recently he figured out he could dislike or like something... was that technically fear? Over the fact he disliked so much of his home and the haunted house? Right, Baku mentioned not being able to feel much either, should he open up? Hell if he knew, something told him that he shouldn’t, but he didn’t honestly care either way, maybe he should... but not right now he’s in hecking space-

[Baku] Baku chuckled. "Yer a serious space case ya know, what's on yer mind anyway?"

[Rave Witch Temmie] pant... pant... pant... We just make it to the oasis before our legs give out and we collapse. We lay face-down on the ground, panting hard.

[Sirius] Upon hearing Baku’s voice, he fell out of space and looked at them, deciding to tell them the truth, as he felt that would be something he would do. “Oh... uh... I happen to not feel much either... I mostly think on why I don’t feel anything.. other than likes and dislikes...” He wasn’t sure if the other would believe him, but it was possible, all the other Floweys he met could feel some things, but him? No he wasn’t like them...

[Rave Witch Temmie] pant... pant... pant... We weakly lift our head and pick up our hat, which fell off when we landed on the ground.

[Baku] Baku chuckled. "Yer different than most o' yer kind aren't ya?" At that Baku sat down next to the flower and grinned. "Fer my kind not having emotions is normal, we're born wit out 'em."

[Rave Witch Temmie] "...huh??" Temmie is curious. We prop ourself up on our belly and listen in on the conversation.

[Sirius] “Yeah... I’m pretty different... I heard the others don’t feel love and compassion...” He would blink, looking at Baku again. “So you’re pretending too?” Now he has found a lead, maybe his condition has something to do with this skeleton... and their kind... although he didn’t know what Baku meant by... their kind... was there another type of skeleton? He thinks, trying to prevent himself from spacing out, but doing that was difficult for him, he had nothing else to focus on after all.

[Baku] Baku laughed. "Yes, in a sense. I mean we can learn emotions by watchin' others or learnin' about 'em as we go through life. Then again most o' us aren't liked much so few o' us live long."

[Rave Witch Temmie] "b-but i liek u!1!"

"Temmie!" I think, "Don't interrupt! They're having a private conversa-"

"i liek yu a lot!1!! ur my fav dj!!1!"

[Sirius] Sirius was about to say something, but then he heard Temmie speak up, he would look over, possibly staring into their soul on accident, then he spoke up. “Lucky... I have watched others too, and I still feel nothing.” He would just continue the conversation as normal, because he couldn’t care less about Temmie being there. More like he didn’t mind, it was only one other person... not like a lot of people were listening in.

[Baku] Baku looked over when he heard the familiar voice of Temmie and chuckled. "Appreciate dat chica, but others don't share yer opinion." With that said he turned his attention back to the flower. "I ain't lucky, I still don't fully understand emotions myself but in all honesty I don't really wanna, they seem like more o' a hassle than an asset if ya ask me."

[Rave Witch Temmie] Others don't share her opinion? The heck's he talking about? At least, that's what Temmie's thinking. I know exactly what he means by that, but all Temmie can do is cry out in confusion, "w-w-w-waaaaa???"

We try to stand up, but just end up falling back on our belly again. "oof!"

We pant a few more times, and then say, "wh-wh-who dont like u?? wy som1 dont like u?? ur da best dj!1!" Wait, I can answer that question for her. In our minds, I replay the memory of my first meeting with Baku...

"...oh ya, her..." She still doesn't understand what there is not to like about Baku, though. "but wy peeps dun like u??"

[Sirius] “Feeling nothing isn’t the best way to go... that’s how I feel anyway, you can’t make friends all that well, and the people you should care about the most... they end up leaving you at some point, or constantly worry over you until you end up pretending that you care, it’s... so empty.  I dislike it.” Sirius would look at the water, sighing. “It’s like... hell? I guess...? It’s... hard to explain...”

[Baku] "I disagree, I've seen what havin' emotions can do ta a person an' I hate it." At that his aura seemed to darken a little. "Emotions only hurt ya in the long run so they're funking pointless, at least without 'em I can live freely doin' my own thing, never havin' ta hurt because someone else decided I wasn't worth their time."

[Rave Witch Temmie] We finally manage to pick ourselves up from the ground. We start to waddle closer to Baku...

"Baku, wat u talkin about? wat u mean u dont liek feelins??"

"Temmie, please, don't..."

"i liek feelins! dey feel gud! u make me feel gud! u da best! an-" I finally manage to take control of our mouth for a second and get my own words in.

"nnnnNNNO!1! hes NOT da best!1!! hes NOT nice!!1"

"...awawawa?? hooman?!? i tot u likd him to!!1"

[Sirius] “...there’s a contradiction in that second sentence. When you cant feel emotions, there is no happiness, there’s nothing, I know that first hand, having been there as an Asriel, watching my family, they looked so happy, and I was never happy with them. It... makes you not want to live, I don’t even know why I’m still here. Because it’s pointless. I tried so hard to feel something, anything, and all I have found is that I can like, dislike, and want something. That’s it.” The more Sirius talked, the more dead he sounded, his eyes were empty voids, he was surely showing a point. “Even if feeling something can hurt others, it’s worse feeling absolutely nothing. Because you can’t care about the people you want to care about, you can’t ever be happy.” God this got dark fast.

[Rave Witch Temmie] "i didnt say i didnt like him! i sed hes not nice!"

"but he gav me pretty glow necklas!1!"

"yea, but just cuz hes nice to you doesnt mean hes nice to every1!"

"wy not?"

"cuz hes bad at it!"

"wat yu mean?"

"hes just nice to you cuz you... you..."

...How do I put this without hurting her feelings? I want to tell her that, the reason Baku was nice to her was because she's such a kiss-up, but that wouldn't be a nice thing to say... and the last thing I want to do is sound like a jerk to Temmie. I'm not a jerk, rather, the one we're talking about is the jerk...

[Baku] Baku chuckled darkly. "That is where our opinions differ my man. I live freely an' do what I want, there's no void in my life, just fun." At that he grinned and looked to the sky. "I get ta party an' have a blast without a care in the world."

[Rave Witch Temmie] I decide to just drop the issue. Hearing Baku mention partying reminds Temmie of why she wanted to follow him here in the first place. We walk over to Baku's side. "hey Baku, uhhhh..."

[Sirius] “Well... you can feel joy... it seems. So you only want to feel joy? Happiness? That’s different compared to nothing...” Sirius wouldn’t press more on the issue after this, in fact, he didn’t want to for once. Ooooh another lead! Back into space he goes.

[Baku] "Eh maybe, don't really know don't really care, I like things as they are." At that Baku laid down on the ground, watching the sky. "I live my life as a DJ an' I'm fine wit dat."

[Rave Witch Temmie] "Temmie, I think he's busy-" 

"hey Baku, uhhh... im sorry i couldnt go to ur raves, cuz ive been livin wit hooman, and she doesnt kno were ur raves are, so we couldnt go..."

We press our paws together anxiously. "ive been wantin to go but i couldnt cuz of hooman... im sorry..."

[Sirius] Sirius would stay silent, now he listens in, he didn’t know what else to say on this matter, other than an “ok” or “mhm” god conversation is hard.

[Baku] Baku grinned at the Temmie. "Hey no worries chica, ya don't have ta show up at every single one, just try to make it ta the ones ya can."

[Rave Witch Temmie] "i-i wannaaaaa..." We frown. "but human is- mmmmf!" There I go slapping our paw over our mouth again. But this time, Temmie manages to remove it and continue speaking.

"i wana take human to ur rave!1! i told her shes gota go somtime!1 its da best rave evr!11 but shes scar-mmf!" And back over our mouth the paw goes...

...but only for a second. "hooman, wy yu keep doin dat?"

[Baku] Baku smirked. "I know exactly why she's doin' it, she doesn't want me ta find out who she is even though I already know exactly who she is, ain't dat right Cookie."

[Rave Witch Temmie] Upon hearing that last word...

...

...We freeze.

All we- or I- can do, is s t a r e, wide-eyed, mouth agape, like we've just seen a ghost. But, if I'm being honest, seeing a ghost wouldn't have been nearly as scary as what I just heard Baku say right now.

H o w d i d h e f i n d o u t ? ?

[Baku] Baku laughed. "Did ya really think I wouldn't notice, actions speak louder than words ya know. The constant stopping of Temmie every time it was even remotely possible she could give ya away was a red flag sweetheart, I'm no fool."

[Rave Witch Temmie] "h-h-hooman...???" Temmie thinks, my fear rubbing off onto her, "h-how does Baku no about... cookys??"

"THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO- wait, cookies??"

"ya, cooky poshin!1! remembr?? were gona make cooky poshin!1!"

...The cookie potion. That's right... I had completely forgotten about that. Temmie must have mistakenly thought that Baku was referring to the magic cookie potion we still haven't made, and not to... well, me...

...Which gives me an idea. In a last-ditch effort to save face, we ask,

"...w-w-w-what cookies?? i dont got any cookies..."

[Baku] Baku grinned. "Really you're gonna try an' pull dat shiz wit me, what part o' I'm no fool do ya not get hm? I know it's you sweetheart stop tryin' ta hide."

[Rave Witch Temmie] "i dont got no cookys1!1"

At this point, this is kind of both of us saying this. I never actually told Temmie that I call myself Cookie, since I never felt the need to (and also to prevent her from spilling the beans to Baku about it). So, she still doesn't realize that Baku is talking about me, and not the magic potion we've been wanting to make. I, meanwhile, am just denying that I'm Cookie. Because I never told Baku that I call myself that. And yet he still found out.

[Baku] "Eh whatever suit yourself sweetheart, but trust me yer not very good at hidin'." At that Baku stood up and stretched. He then turned to the flower who was sitting there spacing out once more. "Well anyway I'm gonna go walk around, follow if ya want my petaled bro but otherwise I'm ditchin' this place." At that he turned to leave the oasis.

[Rave Witch Temmie] Normally, Temmie would have wasted no time following Baku wherever he was headed, but right now, we are in too much shock to do anything but stand there, like a deer in the headlights.

"hooman... howd Baku no about cookys??"

"He wasn't talking about cookies, Temmie. He was talking about me."

"waaa?? but ur not a cooky!1! ur a hooman!1!"

"Yes, I am. But... I like to call myself... Cookie..."

[Sirius] Sirius would have followed Baku, only because he wanted to leave as well, this was odd, not like he knew how this skeleton was... it was more like he was interested in how he worked, how he was able to be happy despite being born without them, that interested him the most, how was that possible?

[Rave Witch Temmie] "Soft Cookie. I call myself Soft Cookie. It's not my real name; it's actually the name of one of my shape-shifted forms... but I like the name. It has a nice ring to it. But how in the world... how did Baku find that out?!? I never told him... I made certain not to ever tell him. So how he found out... it makes absolutely no sense that he found out! Unless..."

"...ya?"

"...Someone else told him..."

Continuing to stand out here in the forest isn't going to do us any good, though. We should probably head back to the resort. We begin to make our way out of the forest.

...Slowly.

We walk through the forest, and back to the resort; our looming sense of dread never leaving us.

[csaspirant1]

Planning for Himalayas? or Have an idea? Here are some tips and our story.

Ever I wonder myself sometimes how I reached 12,500ft, Kedarkantha Himalayan peak in Uttarakhand, experiencing snowfall in my life for the first time, without any extra efforts needed to trek the big risky mountain with my friends. Travelling from south India without knowing Hindi, we went all along, reached, trekked, survived and successfully came back and used to tell these stories to everyone whoever ask about this wonderful trip. 

Bit long journey

After 2015 Chennai flood, it was like a Winter break for us to recover from the monstrous flood. We (Aravind, Manoj, and Myself) went by train considering our budget and all these travel ticket bookings and membership and slot booking in YHAI (Youth Hostel Association of India) where everything was preplanned and perfect for our excursion. It almost took 48 hours for TamilNadu express to reach the National capital, meanwhile met two army persons in the train where one is the savior and another one is the driver, amused us by sharing their experiences who are returning back to works after their leave and we reached Delhi early morning. Freezing with 6-degree Celsius, took Delhi Metro, the cheapest travel to roam around and reach places quickly, reached Sector 10 Rohini. We had a quick breakfast in McDonald's and went inside Decathlon (largest sporting goods retailer) nearby to complete our checklist, Christmas celebrations were going on in the meantime. 

Again taking Metro, we reached Delhi railway station and headed to Dehradun. We reached the same day night. It’s freezing more here even though we had the same temperature but it was a night. We met two more friends (Karthik & Akhlad), who already reached Dehradun directly from Pune and had our rooms ready earlier. Couldn’t recall the place we stayed but it was nearby the main bus stand. After our heavy dinner (Rotti with Grill chicken) beside the hotel, went for a night walk and had a cup of tea around 1am, made us comfortable with campfire built adjacent to that shop. While returning back to home, we were stopped by the local police and they used us to entertain them during their work hours, it was entertaining for us too. 

To base camp

Next day morning, we came to contact with another set who were heading to the same place, Sankri (our base camp). Unfortunately, we couldn’t cope up with their timings and they left us. After some selfies we checked out, reaching local bus stand to enquire how to reach Sankri. It was a bit costly to take a Jeep so we went through Govt. bus. 

(From left: Myself, Aravind, Karthik, Manoj & Akhlad)

With long 8hrs of travel including our lunch, singing loudly Tamil, Hindi & English songs sitting at last seat in Bus, clicking some pics wherever bus stops for a break and two more people joined us in the midway who were our batch for the same trek. It was quite a long bus journey and reached a place where the jeep is the only option to reach base camp.  

Jeep ride is like the most adventurous I think every time because, those track inside the forest, the single 10feet way for both sides of vehicles to commute and those bends which put me to hold my breath till we reach. My crazy friends took a step further and toured at the top of the jeep and we reached base camp around 6pm, which was dark by that time, crossed 8000 feet already. Here is the place is shown below.

We failed to bring admit cards, alleging flood as the reason, we showed soft copies and completed our initial process and asked to finished our dinner with rotti’s and sabji before 7pm. Lost all our mobile networks at this point completely.

Why this Kolaveri?

It’s time to collect our things, get into tents and make ourself comfortable. We were called to the place after some time where every one of our batches gathered, for an introductory session. They asked people to perform something they would be good at, not to awe, some people started showing their talents and our chance came in between. We prepared for a little drama within minutes with help of other two guys and the context is, How well we managed to learn some basic Hindi words and we defined in fun manner, people liked it. Ending the drama with a song, Why this Kolaveri di? and our batchmates sang along with us well. Who doesn’t know that popular song by the way?

Warm Up

Next day, after a warmup call, we went to a place following our guide. Honestly, that moment made me down, lose consciousness for a short time and couldn’t even complete my warm-ups. I’m afraid of my health at that time, gave me a thought,

How am gonna make it to12500ft? This question will be answered below.

Back to normal after some rest, we had our breakfast after returning back to base camp. It's time for shopping now and we got some gloves and scarf,  the day went with some plays with my batch mates. We all asked to get a full big body cover of Rs.20, which blows your mind when you come to know it’s purpose.

Day 1 Trekking

Leaving all the unnecessary things in the base camp, we started to trek only with the things needed to make ourself comfortable. We headed into the forest and took some good photographs. We had a lunch which was provided at the base camp in the middle and finally, everyone from our group managed to reach the camp called, Juda Talav. The thing that we find interesting during this trek where two big personable dogs, one at the front and other at the back, taking us safely to each camp. When we asked for the reason, they are used to protect you from Wolves, the coach replied. And further said, you can see sometimes these dogs run and bark at random places where they spot endangered animals. To remember our protectors, we took selfies with them and they looked gorgeous. 

The following pic shows how the camp looks.

Adding to our fun part, we team of 5-6 members challenged ourselves for a bare body challenge. And we made it happened before reaching the Juda Talav camp. I could still get that moment, shouting all around and dressing back expeditiously. 

Snow Fall

The best thing we are gifted in Juda Talav camp is the snow fall. Not everyone could see the snowfall over there, which occurs periodically. Some of the moments are captured perfectly in slow motion videos in my iPhone 6 and one video is added below. 

After a hot soup and a dinner around 6pm, the day ended with a single candle light inside our tent, playing bluffs in cards and parodying our friends. Another best thing were no mobile networks and current will disturb you, such a peaceful surrounding one should definitely experience in their life. 

Day 2 Trekking

We headed to another camp, after our normal breakfast of Chapathi and Sabji but this time, its bit more adventurous than previous one. Places were filled with ice, snow and were very slippery. Joining hands and helping each other, we could easily manage to trek this camp. 

Frozen lake

We could spot a frozen lake in our way which gives us time to spend and again this is the first time for us, playing in the lake for a very long time. 

Cell phone signal

After few yards, at some point, our guide instructed us to use your phone to update the status of us to our family members. We were amazed, how we could make calls and there were even no signals earlier. Later he said, only BSNL network works here. Only two of our batch mates have BSNL networked phone, and all the 40 above members made use of it.

We reached the camp Luhasu after some time. This place is astonishing and the below pic speaks the remaining.

Who don’t work on making a snow man, when you are fully surrounded with full of snow. Aren’t we exception to it? We built a snowman and took some pics with him. 

Our camp leader here is Chandra Sharma who is graduated, is working here at free of cost only because of his passion. He inspired us with his challenging stories and made us proud of him. Such a passionate person, made us think deeply and delivered us, the true definition of it. He also showed us the point we going to reach tomorrow, inflated our excitement to the core. 

After sharing few of our experiences with our friends, we went for a sleep and we were asked to get ready around 4am, to trek final phase, Kedarkantha Peak.

Day 3 Trekking - Kedarkantha Peak 

We woke up around 3am and getting things done in hurry. It was like, are we going to make this? We started at 4am with this thought with a small torch in hand. We were moving slowly since the place looks very dark and we don’t want any abnormal things to happen. 

That was the peak we are heading, said our coach. To our excitement, we conversed ourselves that it's near and we can reach soon, but soon we thought it’s not easier in that - 15-degree Celsius.

Walking ...

Walking ...

Walking ...

The peak is getting closer but still, we didn’t reach. It was hard to take selfies either. Neither couldn’t touch camera icon or press volume buttons to take photos with our gloves. Instead, we removed but couldn’t hold longer. Hands are freezing. The peak and the beautiful view is the only thing, made us move. Now, the path is a bit dangerous than previous one. If one is slipped, it affects everyone and we don’t know where it takes. 

One more interesting thing to note here is, We had a couple in our batch and they both were loveable. They both were caring & helping each other, such an adorable peoples to meet. Only group of guys can enjoy a trip? No. Make yourself surrounded by positive peoples and one, you can sync with you. That would definitely be a memorable trip.

Finally, around 12 pm, after tough 8 hours of journey, we reached the peak. Wow, such an amazing view it was. There was a temple in the top. Clicked hundreds of pics in excitement. One of the pics goes below.

It was breathtaking.

Mountains were beautiful. The peak was beautiful. No words to explain the dazzling mountains. Beautiful, that's it. Once again we took the bare body challenge.

The group picture ...

After some hours of refreshments, we started to trek down. Again, the special and adventurous moment for us. You remember about the body cover which I explained earlier, time to use it now.

Snow Skirting

Couldn’t get a better word to describe it. We covered ourself with the cover and our guide asked us to roll over in the snow. We started skirting and it was fun. We had challenges with our friends like, who goes first, who can do better by dashing through the snow. We didn’t stop even after the cover was torn. 

Finally, we reached one of our camp, which was not the one we stayed back earlier. It was slippery, yet we managed to reach with our friend's support.

Day 4  Trekking - Returning to Base Camp

Next day, after a long walk again, we reached our base camp. We were in a hurry mood to wind up so that we could spend some time in Delhi or Rishikesh. Certificate of completion will be issued only on day 5 (last day) but we explained our situation and get our certificates done by that time and winded up.

Q: How am gonna make it to12500ft?

A: Yes, this is how I made it.

Some days in National Capital

We reached Dehradun after a long travel from base camp, almost 12 hours. We got a bus immediately after our dinner and headed to Delhi. We got a cheap room and dropped our luggage. The first place we visited was,

Jama Masjid, Delhi.

 The religious place to visit. After some religious sentiments, we had briyani and went shopping. We visited India Gate, walked along those roads and concluded our day.

Next day, TN Express again put us (Aravind & Myself) in homes after long 2 days journey where other 3 of our friends took flight and returned to their natives.

Tips & Helpful links before you go ...

YHAI - Site to book your slots

http://www.yhaindia.org/

To dress up well for the trek?

https://www.decathlon.in/

Takeaways

Thermals (the type of clothes) which holds heat, generated from your body, keeping you warm throughout the trek.

Get a quality jacket.

A rucksack is the best one to trek along with your things.

Don’t get plastic water bottles as it would freeze water at minus temperatures.

Take gloves and good quality trekking shoes.

Most importantly, get a fitness certificate with the doctor before you proceed.

[doctorajoy]

FOUR THINGS THAT STEAL THE JOY FROM OUR LIFE

We talked Wednesday Night about what "Meaning to Life" was all about. We determined that Life assumes meaning when we have Confidence in God's Forgiveness Plus the ability to forgive ourself. Then we recognize God's Plan for our Life and walk in it.

Sadly, many people have lost this abundant Life and now live lives of quite desperation. We're here to help change that today.

The first thing we must do is RECOGNIZE THE PROBLEM. No matter how much water you pump you will never fill a pail if the bottom is rusted out!

So let's look at the FOUR THINGS THAT STEAL THE JOY FROM OUR LIFE:

1> Rigors of Life- Debt, Disease, Death, Disasters. All these combine to rain on our parade on a regular basis. It's hard to keep a joyful attitude when Life keeps dropping bricks on your head!

2> Rut of Routine- We NEED Routine; but it becomes so easy for routine to trap us into a Rut. Once we're in the rut, it's easier to stay in the rut that to make the effort needed to break out (The rut does most of the driving for us now!). Then the Rut becomes a grave without ends as we want to break free from the jail we've become captured in but find we don't have the energy or ability. We give up Hope of change and allow the rut to control our destiny and our destination.

3> Ruin of Sin- Sin is Appealing. It's Fun to do (The consequences are frightful but the actions are Fun). We must teach people to do right but they just naturally do wrong-- I don't have to preach about waiting your turn to attend Church; I have to tell you how sorry you are that you always look for excuses to miss Church!!

Sin steals our time, our heart, and our conscience (People can justify ANYTHING). Then, when it traps us, it pounds on us and tells us how sorry we are and our hopeless it is for us to think we can possible change.

All of these "joy stealers" are easily recognized. The easy thing for me to do now would be to tell you to "straighten up and do better. Then come to the Altar and tell God you're sorry". The sad truth, however, is that most of the people who came to the altar and just prayed a prayer would be back in their ruts before Wednesday night! When they walked out the door of the Church, Life would slap them beside the head, Their routine would require them to do certain things that would ease them right back into the rut, and the ballgame would still seem more entertaining than the Bible.

That's because we have left out the most common "Joy Stealer" among people who attend Church- The Rituals of Religion. The very thing that is supposed to Give us life ends up Stealing it!

Sermons beat us in the head instead of building us up in the Lord. We volunteer for a task and find that other Christians are apathetic at best and sometimes down right hard to live with. It becomes more fun to recognize who comes in late than to really read the words of the song we're singing. Church really becomes boring to us. We only come because of duty, guilt, or social obligation.

How did the Church become a Boulder of Burden instead of a Rock of Rest and Protection? What causes the Solution to become the problem.

The answer is relatively simple. The Bible says the Meaning of Life is found in a proper relationship with Christ. We have changed that to believe that the meaning to life can be found in Church Attendance. We have succumbed to the greatest temptation of religion.

The greatest temptation of religion is to BECOME WORSHIP CENTERED INSTEAD OF SERVICE CENTERED. Service without power found through worship is inadequate, but worship which does not express itself in service is worthless- Or as James said it, "Faith without works is dead".

Madame Chiang Kai-shek said, "Confucianism worshiped ancestors, but never built an old folks' home". I fear today she would say that Christians worship God but never serve Him.

Once a soap manufacturer was arguing with a minister about the value of religion. The Soap manufacturer said that religion had been here a long time and sin still existed. At that time they passed a boy playing in the mud. The Minister said that soap didn't work because the boy was still dirty. The manufacturer said, "But it would if it was applied". "So would religion", said the Minister.

It's simply amazing but Jesus never told about casting anyone into outer darkness because of a particular sin. It was always a failure in service. The rich man was sent to Hell because he ignored Lazarus; not for any specified wrong. The Pharisees did not do anything "wrong" but they failed to help people. The man who failed to use his talent did not do anything "wrong". He was cast into outer darkness because he did not use what God had given him. The five virgins who were excluded from the wedding had not become unclean; they had simply let their lights go out.

Christians seem to think we are righteous because of the bad that we don't do. Jesus continually emphasized the good that we should do!

So there you have it. If we are going to return meaning to life we must return to God's Purpose for our life. A person who loses purpose; loses life. That's why you will never enjoy life until you begin to live for something. The unhappiest people in the world are the people who live only for themselves. Life without meaning is the thought that if you died tonight it would not be a loss to anyone.

This Purpose in life is not found in feverish activity or financial abilities. It is found in service commissioned by God. It is taking the talents God has given you and using them to benefit others.

What has happened is that we have hid our talents for so long until they've lost their usefulness. There are fish in Mammoth cave that are blind. They have eyes but they have lived so long in darkness without using them until they are now blind. Put your arm in a sling for a week- then try to use it; it will be almost useless. Many people who stay in hospitals for extended times have to learn how to walk all over again.

Service in not based on our Ability to serve- Of the 30 miracles recorded in the Gospels, only one is recorded in all four of the Gospels. That one is the feeding of the 5000. The boy had only Two fish and five loaves; but he committed them to God! DESIRE TO SERVE God is all that's needed. God will provide the power and opportunity.

Are you willing to dedicate yourself to Serving God instead of just Worshipping God?? Sanctified Service will make your Worship wonderful and give meaning to your life. Come volunteer today.

GOOD NEWS  FOR  ALL PATIENT WHO ARE SEARCHING PERMANENT TREATMENT.

NO SURGERY ,NO INJECTION AND NO SIDE EFFECTS !

ACCORDING TO WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION NEARLY 60 % HERBAL MEDICINES ARE USED IN MODERN MEDICINE.

THE WORLD IS RUNNING AFTER HERBAL MEDICINE BECAUSE IT GIVES PERMANENT RESULT NO SIDE EFFECTS,NO SURGERY ,NO INJECTION.

I N OUR CLINIC WE DEAL MANY PATIENTS,WHO HAD GONE THROUGH SURGERY AND DID SPENT THOUSANDS RUPEES IN MEDICINE BUT NO RESULT.

HERE WE TREAT ALL ILLNESS INCLUDING CANCER.IF CANCER CAN CURE IN LOW COST THEN THERE IS NO NEED TO GO FOR CHEMOTHERAPY OR RADIATION.

WE DON’T HAVE PATENT MEDICINE,IN INDIAN HERBAL TREATMENT MEANS IN AYURVED WE USE ONLY LESS THAN 200 COMMON HERBAL MEDICINE BUT WE USE 1800 HERBAL EXTRACT FROM OTHER COUNTRY LIKE CHINA,AFRICA,AMAZON FOREST,GERMAN ETC.

WELL I CAN GIVE MANY HOME REMEDIES BUT THESE REMEDIES WILL GIVE YOU LITTLE RELIEF BECAUSE IT HAS NOT ON RESEARCH.

WE TREAT INFERTILITY (BANJHPAN)IRREGULAR MENSES,PAINFUL MENSES,EXCESS MENSES,SCANTY MENSES (NO MENSES) MENOPAUSE, LEUCORRHOEA, ASTHMA, DIABETIC,BLOOD PRESSURE,THYROID,CHRONIC SKIN PROBLEMS,TREATMENT FOR KIDNEY,HEART BLOCKAGE,SEX RELATED PROBLEMS,CHILD HEALTH CARE,JOINT PAIN ,OLD AGE PROBLEMS,HAIR FALL,PARALYSIS, (Osteoporosis)OBESITY,VITALITY AND MANY MORE.

रोगों की सूची (Disease Name List)

·        दमा (Asthma)

·        मधुमेह (Diabetes)

·        वायरल बुखार (Viral Fever)

·        खसरा (Measles)

·        बदहज़मी (Gastric Problem)

·        गठिया (Gout)

·        पीला बुखार (Yellow Fever)

·        फाइलेरिया (Elephantiasis)

·        अपच (Indigestion)

·        घुटनों का दर्द (Knee Pain)

·        कुष्ठरोग (Leprosy)

·        अग्नाशयशोथ (Pancreatitis)

·        जापानी इन्सेफेलाइटिस (Japanese Encephalitis)

·        माइग्रेन (Migraine)

·        निमोनिया (Pneumonia)

·        एनोरेक्सिया (Anorexia)

·        दर्द (Pain)

·        अनिद्रा (Insomnia)

·        हर्निया (Hernia)

·        स्पोंडिलोसिस (Spondylosis)

·        लीवर कैंसर (Liver Cancer)

·        कमर दर्द (Back Pain)

·        सीने में दर्द (Chest Pain)

·        फेफड़ों का कैंसर (Lung Cancer)

·        थकान (Fatigue)

·        खून का थक्का (Blood Clotting)

·        मांसपेशियों में दर्द (Muscle Pain)

·        प्रोस्टेट कैंसर (Prostate Cancer)

·        हैपेटाइटिस (Hepatitis)

·        पीले दाँत (Yellow Teeth)

·        टी. बी. (Tuberculosis)

·        फ्रोज़न शोल्डर (Frozen Shoulder)

·        सरवाइकल स्पॉन्डिलाइटिस (Cervical Sypondolysis)

·        वाकविकार (Dyslexia)

·        पित्ताशय की पथरी (Gallstones)

·        रेबीज (Rabies)

·        जुकाम (Common Cold)

·        बुखार (Fever)

·        गले में खराश (Sore Throat)

·        उबकाई (Nausea)

·        अफारा (Flatulence)

·        चिकनगुनिया (Chikungunya)

·        आत्मविमोह (Autism)

·        खून क��� कमी (Anemia)

·        डिमेंशिया (Dementia)

·        टाइफाइड (Typhoid)

·        जूँ (Lice)

·        कब्ज (Constipation)

·        उच्च रक्तचाप (High Blood Pressure)

·        दांत का दर्द (Toothache)

·        डेंगू (Dengue)

·        मलेरिया (Malaria)

·        छींकना (Sneezing)

·        हाइपोथाइराइड (Hypothyroid)

·        ऑस्टियोपोरोसिस (Osteoporosis)

·        ब्रेस्ट कैंसर (Breast Cancer)

·        सिरदर्द (Headache)

·        ब्रोंकाइटिस (Bronchitis)

·        इबोला विषाणु रोग (EVD) (Ebola)

·        लू लगना (Heat Stroke)

·        छोटे स्तन (Small Breast)

·        बालों का झड़ना (Hair Fall)

·        मिरगी (Epilepsy)

·        कद बढ़ाना (Height Gain)

·        गुर्दे की पथरी (Kidney Stone)

·        पेनिस का साइज (Size Of Normal Penis)

·        रूसी (Dandruff)

·        हार्ट अटैक (Heart Attack)

·        सोरायसिस (Psoriasis)

·        स्वाइन फ्लू (Swine Flu)

·        स्किन कैंसर (Skin Cancer)

·        मुंहासे (Pimples)

·        गंजापन (Baldness)

·        डीहाइड्रेशन (Dehydration)

·        घमौरियां (Prickly Heat)

·        स्कर्वी (Scurvy)

·        बेरीबेरी (Beriberi)

·        इरेक्टाइल डिस्फंक्शन (Erectile Dysfunctions)

·        शीघ्रपतन या प्रीमेच्‍योर इजैकुलेशन (Premature Ejaculation)

·        पिलाग्रा (Pellagra)

·        रिकेट्स (Rickets)

·        घेंघा (Goiter)

·        मोटापा (Obesity)

·        डार्क सर्कल - आखों के नीचे के काले घेरे (Dark Circle)

·        इचिंग या खुजली (Itching)

·        गले में दर्द (Throat Ache)

·        ज्वाइंट पेन- जोड़ों में दर्द (Joint Pain)

·        लूज मोशन- दस्त (Loose Motion)

·        पेट दर्द (Stomach Ache)

·        तनाव- स्ट्रैस (Stress)

·        दुबलापन (Leanness Or Weight Gain)

·        एसिडिटी या अम्लपित्त (Acidity)

·        एलर्जी (Allergy)

·        मोतियाबिंद- केटेरेक्ट (Cataract)

·        सर्दी और कफ (Cough And Cold)

·        टिटनस (Tetanus)

·        मोच (Sprains)

·        निम्न रक्तचाप या लो ब्लडप्रेशर (Low Blood Pressure)

·        सफेद बाल- ग्रे हेयर (Grey Hair)

·        हड्डी फ्रैक्चर या हड्डी का खिसकना (Bone Fracture Or Dislocation)

·        चिकन पॉक्स- चेचक (Chickenpox)

·        हैजा (Cholera)

·        जर्मन मीजल्स या रूबेला (German Measles)

·        इन्फ्लूएंजा (Influenza)

·        मेनिनजाइटिस (Meningitis)

·        हार्ट ब्लॉकेज (Heart Blockage)

·        कान में संक्रमण (Ear Infection)

·        डायबिटिक रेटिनोपैथी (Diabetic Retinopathy)

·        ग्लूकोमा (Glaucoma)

·        बवासीर (Piles)

·        आंखों का इंफेक्शन (Eye Infection)

·        पीलिया (Jaundice)

·        दूरदर्शिता या दूरदृष्टि दोष (Hyper Myopia)

·        Infertility     banjhpan

·        मुंह के छाले (Mouth Ulcer)

·        अल्सर (Ulcer)

·        डायरिया (Diarrhea)

·        सुस्ती (Lethargy)

·        मस्तिष्क का दौरा (Cerebral Stroke)

·        मायोपिया (Myopia)

·        खर्राटे लेना (Snoring)

·        सनबर्न (Sunburn)

·        गलसुआ (Mumps)

·        काली खांसी (Whooping Cough)

·        प्रोस्टेट डिस्ऑर्डर (Prostate Disorder)

·        एड्स (AIDS)

·        जीका वायरस (Zika Virus)

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[readbookywooks]

Steps led down into the velvet gloom. There were cobwebs and dust, and air that smelled as though it had been locked in a pyramid for a thousand years. 'People don't come down here very often,' said Ysabell. 'I'll lead the way.' Mort felt something was owed. 'I must say,' he said, 'you're a real brick.' 'You mean pink, square and dumpy? You really know how to talk to a girl, my boy.' 'Mort,' said Mort automatically. The Stack was as dark and silent as a cave deep underground. The shelves were barely far enough apart for one person to walk between them, and towered up well beyond the dome of candlelight. They were particularly eerie because they were silent. There were no more lives to write; the books slept. But Mort felt that they slept like cats, with one eye open. They were aware. 'I came down here once,' said Ysabell, whispering. 'If you go far enough along the shelves the books run out and there's clay tablets and lumps of stone and animal skins and everyone's called Ug and Zog.' The silence was almost tangible. Mort could feel the books watching them as they tramped through the hot, silent passages. Everyone who had ever lived was here somewhere, right back to the first people that the gods had baked out of mud or whatever. They didn't exactly resent him, they were just wondering about why he was here. 'Did you get past Ug and Zog?' he hissed. There's a lot of people would be very interested to know what's there.' 'I got frightened. It's a long way and I didn't have enough candles.' 'Pity.' Ysabell stopped so sharply that Mort cannoned into the back of her. This would be about the right area,' she said. 'What now?' Mort peered at the faded names on the spines. 'They don't seem to be in any order!' he moaned. They looked up. They wandered down a couple of side alleys. They pulled a few books off the lowest shelves at random, raising pillows of dust. 'This is silly,' said Mort at last. There's millions of lives here. The chances of finding his are worse than —' Ysabell laid her hand against his mouth. 'Listen!' Mort mumbled a bit through her fingers and then got the message. He strained his ears, striving to hear anything above the heavy hiss of absolute silence. And then he found it. A faint, irritable scratching. High, high overhead, somewhere in the impenetrable darkness on the cliff of shelves, a life was still being written. They looked at each other, their eyes widening. Then Ysabell said, 'We passed a ladder back there. On wheels.' The little castors on the bottom squeaked as Mort rolled it back. The top end moved too, as if it was fixed to another set of wheels somewhere up in the darkness. 'Right,' he said. 'Give me the candle, and —' 'If the candle's going up, then so am I,' said Ysabell firmly. 'You stop down here and move the ladder when I say. And don't argue.' 'It might be dangerous up there,' said Mort gallantly. 'It might be dangerous down here,' Ysabell pointed out. 'So I'll be up the ladder with the candle, thank you.' She set her foot on the bottom rung and was soon no more than a frilly shadow outlined in a halo of candlelight that soon began to shrink. Mort steadied the ladder and tried not to think of all the lives pressing in on him. Occasionally a meteor of hot wax would thump into the floor beside him, raising a crater in the dust. Ysabell was now a faint glow far above, and he could feel every footstep as it vibrated down the ladder. She stopped. It seemed to be for quite a long time. Then her voice floated down, deadened by the weight of silence around them. 'Mort, I've found it.' 'Good. Bring it down.' 'Mort, you were right.' 'Okay, thanks. Now bring it down,' 'Yes, Mort, but which one?' 'Don't mess about, that candle won't last much longer.' 'Mort!' 'What?' 'Mort, there's a whole shelf!' Now it really was dawn, that cusp of the day that belonged to no-one except the seagulls in Morpork docks, the tide that rolled in up the river, and a warm turnwise wind that added a smell of spring to the complex odour of the city. Death sat on a bollard, looking out to sea. He had decided to stop being drunk. It made his head ache. He'd tried fishing, dancing, gambling and drink, allegedly four of life's greatest pleasures, and wasn't sure that he saw the point. Food he was happy with – Death liked a good meal as much as anyone else. He couldn't think of any other pleasures of the flesh or, rather, he could, but they were, well, fleshy, and he couldn't see how it would be possible to go about them without some major bodily restructuring, which he wasn't going to contemplate. Besides, humans seemed to leave off doing them as they grew older, so presumably they couldn't be that attractive. Death began to feel that he wouldn't understand people as long as he lived. The sun made the cobbles steam and Death felt the faintest tingling of that little springtime urge that can send a thousand tons of sap pumping through fifty feet of timber in a forest. The seagulls swooped and dived around him. A one-eyed cat, down to its eighth life and its last ear, emerged from its lair in a heap of abandoned fish boxes, stretched, yawned, and rubbed itself against his legs. The breeze, cutting through Ankh's famous smell, brought a hint of spices and fresh bread. Death was bewildered. He couldn't fight it. He was actually feeling glad to be alive, and very reluctant to be Death. I MUST BE SICKENING FOR SOMETHING, he thought. Mort eased himself up the ladder alongside Ysabell. It was shaky, but seemed to be safe. At least the height didn't bother him; everything below was just blackness. Some of Albert's earlier volumes were very nearly falling apart. He reached out for one at random, feeling the ladder tremble underneath them as he did so, brought it back and opened it somewhere in the middle. 'Move the candle this way,' he said. 'Can you read it?' 'Sort of —' — “turnered hys hand, butt was sorelie vexed that alle menne at laste comme to nort, viz. Deathe, and vowed hymme to seke Imortalitie yn his pride. 'Thus,' he tolde the younge wizzerds, 'we may take unto ourselfes the mantel of Goddes.' Thee next day, yt being raining, Alberto” — 'It's written in Old,' he said. 'Before they invented spelling. Let's have a look at the latest one.' It was Albert all right. Mort caught several references to fried bread. 'Let's have a look at what he's doing now,' said Ysabell. 'Do you think we should? It's a bit like spying.' 'So what? Scared?' 'All right.' He flicked through until he came to the unfilled pages, and then turned back until he found the story of Albert's life, crawling across the page at surprising speed considering it was the middle of the night; most biographies didn't have much to say about sleep, unless the dreams were particularly vivid. 'Hold the candle properly, will you? I don't want to get grease on his life.' 'Why not? He likes grease.' 'Stop giggling, you'll have us both off. Now look at this bit. . . . — 'He crept through the dusty darkness of the Stack —' Ysabell read – 'his eyes fixed on the tiny glow of candlelight high above. Prying, he thought, poking away at things that shouldn't concern them, the little devils' — 'Mort! He's —' 'Shut up! I'm reading!' — 'soon put a stop to this. Albert crept silently to the foot of the ladder, spat on his hands, and got ready to push. The master'd never know; he was acting strange these days and it was all that lad's fault, and' — Mort looked up into Ysabell's horrified eyes. Then the girl took the book out of Mort's hand, held it at arm's length while her gaze remained fixed woodenly on his, and let it go. Mort watched her lips move and then realised that he, too, was counting under his breath. Three, four — There was a dull thump, a muffled cry, and silence. 'Do you think you've killed him?' said Mort, after a while. 'What, here? Anyway, I didn't notice any better ideas coming from you.' 'No, but – he is an old man, after all.' 'No, he's not,' said Ysabell sharply, starting down the ladder. 'Two thousand years?' 'Not a day over sixty-seven.' 'The books said —' 'I told you, time doesn't apply here. Not real time. Don't you listen, boy?' 'Mort,' said Mort. 'And stop treading on my fingers, I'm going as fast as I can.' 'Sorry.' 'And don't act so wet. Have you any idea how boring it is living here?' 'Probably not,' said Mort, adding with genuine longing, 'I've heard about boredom but I've never had a chance to try it.' 'It's dreadful.' 'If it comes to that, excitement isn't all it's cracked up to be.' 'Anything's got to be better than this.' There was a groan from below, and then a stream of swearwords. Ysabell peered into the gloom. 'Obviously I didn't damage his cursing muscles,' she said. 'I don't think I ought to listen to words like that. It could be bad for my moral fibre.' They found Albert slumped against the foot of the bookshelf, muttering and holding his arm. 'There's no need to make that kind of fuss,' said Ysabell briskly. 'You're not hurt; father simply doesn't allow that kind of thing to happen.' 'What did you have to go and do that for?' he moaned. 'I didn't mean any harm.' 'You were going to push us off,' said Mort, trying to help him up. 'I read it. I'm surprised you didn't use magic.' Albert glared at him. 'Oh, so you've found out, have you?' he said quietly. Then much good may it do you. You've no right to go prying.' He struggled to his feet, shook off Mort's hand, and stumbled back along the hushed shelves. 'No, wait,' said Mort, 'I need your help!' 'Well, of course,' said Albert over his shoulder. 'It stands to reason, doesn't it? You thought, I'll just go and pry into someone's private life and then I'll drop it on him and then I'll ask him to help me.' 'I only wanted to find out if you were really you,' said Mort, running after him. 'I am. Everyone is.' 'But if you don't help me something terrible will happen! There's this princess, and she —' Terrible things happen all the time, boy —' '— Mort —' '— and no-one expects me to do anything about it.' 'But you were the greatest!' Albert stopped for a moment, but did not look around. 'Was the greatest, was the greatest. And don't you try to butter me up. I ain't butterable.' 'They've got statues to you and everything,' said Mort, trying not to yawn. 'More fool them, then.' Albert reached the foot of the steps into the library proper, stamped up them and stood outlined against the candlelight from the library. 'You mean you won't help?' said Mort. 'Not even if you can?' 'Give the boy a prize,' growled Albert. 'And it's no good thinking you can appeal to my better nature under this here crusty exterior,' he added, 'cos my interior's pretty damn crusty too.' They heard him cross the library floor as though he had a grudge against it, and slam the door behind him. 'Well,' said Mort, uncertainly. 'What did you expect?' snapped Ysabell. 'He doesn't care for anyone much except father.' 'It's just that I thought someone like him would help if I explained it properly,' said Mort. He sagged. The rush of energy that had propelled him through the long night had evaporated, filling his mind with lead. 'You know he was a famous wizard?' That doesn't mean anything, wizards aren't necessarily nice. Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards because a refusal often offends, I read somewhere.' Ysabell stepped closer to Mort and peered at him with some concern. 'You look like something left on a plate,' she said.