#we kept forgetting people
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pick your battles
#my art#my stuff#art#comic#original art#pride 2024#pride month#trans allegory..... or not even allegory. just trans .... ^_^#i technically cannot come out yet but i don't think the people who i need to not see this stalk my tumblr#i know they stalk everything else like my twitter and my instagram but this might be safe#so fuck it we yap. this is a comic about picking your battles#this is a comic about how for almost a year now everyone at home in singapore has been crying about my sore throat#my terrible fucked up voice. my you know. etc#i came out as not cis and using they/them pronouns in 2015 when i was 14#but no one ever used my pronouns. none of my classmates or friends even up until i left for college in 2020#from 2020 onwards every year i wrote an angry vulnreable essay about how much it hurts that they dont remember#and people would dm me apologizing on their hands and knees and commending my bravery#and then forget about it all over again. id ont mean 'they misgender me and then catch it and apologize and correct themselves'#i mean they dont even get that far#and so you might ask yourself: why have you kept them around all this time?#and i would have to explain that by pure bad luck i grew up in the most conservative close minded community#that all of my ex classmates that stayed in singapore are cishet and upper middle class and chinese singaporean#that i Am the trans person. that they were able to ignore me for a decade partially because there was no one else#so this is a comic about how there is dignity and grace in staying in the closet sometimes#about how not everyone deserves to see you at your happiest. about how some people can go fuck themselves#you know your truth and THATS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!!! YEAH!!! i love you
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[ID: Screenshot of a chat that says "just leave my queen alone, she's already suffered enough. She wanted a life with her malewife murder monk pilot mechanic racer and you should respect her for that!]
It's Padmé defending's hours for me
I have been seeing more negative (with very weird connotations, tbh) posts about Padmé on my dash lately, and while I'm a firm believer of the "scroll past it" rule, it really irks me a lot because MOST of these takes sound a bit mysoginistic to me and also (to me) shows a lack of trying to understand her as a character, not in a "you don't get her" way, but in a "you don't even try to understand the character and her context in the damn story just because you wanna sound holy than thou" way.
I'm all for accepting takes about Padmé's flaws or having a slightly more privileged/closed view (and that makes sense, she's aristocracy) but these people are SO WEIRD whenever they wanna talk about her 🤨
I'll forever mad that George eliminated SO MANY scenes with Padmé in the movies, but I feel like even if we had those scenes, people's complaints would be exactly the same.
But also i think half of the time people fail at understanding Padmé is because they're also failing to understand Anakin's as a character, idk
#we love Padmé in this blog damnit#how so many people can forget the fact she had also an absolutely horrible childhood and was lonely and used to political backstabbing#and assasination attempts#at fourteen#and it just kept getting worse#the fact that she found a bond with Anakin and fandom makes it all about her being a stupid girl or evil for that it's ridiculous#and some of these takes sound victim-blamey if i'm honest#is she flawed? yes obviously but that makes her more interesting#anidala is supposed to be space Romeo and Juliet right? Eurydice and Orpheus Lancelot and Guinevere they're doomed for loving each other#but loving isn't their flaw actually#the flaw in Star Wars is some old guy called Palpatine he's in the background if you squint and Padmé was manipulated by him too#rambling#star wars#sw#padmé amidala#padmé#anakin skywalker#anidala
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my research partner and i are huddled in a blanket in paddington waiting for a too-late train i already miss you and you and you
#he keeps falling asleep almost on my shoulder and waking up and readjusting but i want to tell him its ok weve seen a lot#of each other ive seen your brainwaves you called me crying a few nights ago. research partner right now is a potentiality#friend is a certainty. i met a banker passionate about finance. he said his advice made the lives of others better and he likes the numbers#more than he likes anything else. on a high rise near canary wharf the view was wonderful and the people even moreso#he said i loved her but i spent 33 grand on her and i cant do this anymore. his voice cracked talking about her. he did love her.#and she talked softly she grabbed my hand she bought me a pack of Marlborough gold she told me to snap#the russian menthol cigarettes of the tortured polish man near us with my teeth i kept staring at her teeth#bright white and sharp. i couldnt find her heartbeat but i did find warmth and i did find her lips and i did feel#how she felt pressed against a wall. a pretty boy held my hand and i gave him my number. i couldnt stop smiling about her no matter#how many runways youve walked on how many collections youve designed how many students youve taught. senior lecturer teaches me how to do#very unethical things ethically over a double shot of vodka made by the half-persian with broken farsi. she talks softly#and she says her eyes are hazel but they appear a shade of red. pure gold on her hands and leather on her back and her fingers on my lips#(she talks softly sees through me she says something i cant hear but i wont forget the way she flies) she talked to my research partner#about the possibility of moving to sunny dubai with the rest of her family and my heart felt pierced. on her arm i traces a tattoo of a#knife passing through a rose. she told me she thought there was romance in severing so i kissed her some more.#he sat me down and asked me what i loved and i told him and he said no romance no person no tragedy will take that from you.#the room was filled with a collection of people in love with something that wasnt a person and i kept looking at her.#red eyes bitten jawline beautiful hands. it is 3 degrees Celsius my head is on his shoulder i miss my friends#we walked out the lecture hall with arms linked a photo of two years ago and we both said#jesus christ. i miss you all. and i miss logic metatheory lectures. im glad i get to stare at the depth of your eyes#i wish i had met you years ago.#crushposting
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I promise I don’t mean it in a hater way but I just never really understood the “MC is basically a therapist to the overblot characters” memes when applied to twst bc I feel like Yuu is barely involved in the overblot breakdowns compared to the other characters (aside from the meta that we r I guess helping guide the teamwork for battles / how things go in the manga/novels)
#IM NOT COMPLAINING THO like its ppl having fun making jokes its not an issue lol#i just feel like I interpret#it a bit different from. a lot I guess lol#the memes make sense woth like Obey Me’s MC like we r way more directly involved#in solving people’s ISSUES with each other in that one#and I mean I guess yuu isn’t totally uninvolved like we are there alongside other characters doing things sometimes#tho to me? we are there along for the ride. situations are more happening To Us sometimes lol#I forget we r even there sometimes im so busy looking at the characters attacking each other lol#it’s fun hehehe#I do like in the heartslabyul manga tho#when ace was being a lil bitch and yuken kept being like#hey you brought that on yourself actually u need to apologize 😑#and ace was like. wtf no 😤😑 lol I do like the silly bestie trio adeuce and yuu/grim. I guess that’s four LOL#and yuus bond with malleus is cute :’) awkward little friends….#anyway blah blah blah old person doesn’t understand a meme who give a shit#well I mean. I understand it. it just doesn’t land for me LOL but that’s okay 😌👍
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"Does ford know about 9/11 whos gonna tell him" WHOS GONNA TELL HIM ABOUT AIDS. HUH.
#he was a *ahem* friend of dorothy who dipped out of our universe RIGHT at the beginning of the 80s#and before that he was a shut in for years I doubt he really kept up with the news#not that they were reporting on it then anyway#but like. he's a queer man born in the 50s#he definitely would find out a lot of his old college friends are gone#or ok maybe less friends and more acquaintances he was never the most social guy but anyway#at first he wouldn't be surprised cause like. they're old people die#and then he finds out they were all so young#and then he finds out#and he#and#ahsjdjsjs#and FIDDLEFORD#do we think he used the memory gun to forget how many funerals he'd been to#how many friends died#fuck im like cutting out my own heart the more I think about it#gravity falls#standford pines#ford pines#fiddleford mcgucket
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I dreamt about space aliens that had no sexual organs so they couldnt get off and were in pain all the time because of it so they tortured humans. To feel better i guess. Idk
#if it helps at all it was only like the premise of a video game within the dream#but like. almost like a point and click flash game. the only interactivity was making weird shit happen. interactive movie#i think it mightve been influenced by watching multiple mouth/washing lps this week#i was trying to get ready to go to nyc with some people but we kept getting distracted by it.#see it was a fleshed out dream. im just saying tthe crazy part in the main post#important detail about the aliens before i forget: they were red. ive forgotten everything else#the only torture method i fully remember is pulling bones out of fingers by inserting pins or something. other stuff happened though#the kat goes meow
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Mmm.
#this was part of our Halloween costume in fact#it was fun#mouthwashing#kills 99% germs#its lemonade! i kept offering people shots out of the cap#forgetting the first couple times rhst they didnt know it wasn't actually real mouthwash#one guy just did it#and only then realized it wasn't real#had to explain to him thst you should Not drink real mouthwash#yes this was a duo costume#yes we vaguely referenced pur favourite characters#my friend looked great with their hair down and I. well. yellows not my colour
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Anyway the reason why you shouldn't pre order Veilguard isn't because of some moral protest about the layoffs. It's because deceptive marketing and releasing unfinished products are the current standard in the AAA space and a few pieces of mediocre fashion do NOT warrant spending 60+ usd now for a game that might not even run later.
#girlbob.txt#how quickly we forget cp77's launch lmfao#like we're at the point where EA may as well stand for 'early access' idk what to tell you guys#anthem's launch was fucking ROUGH too from what i remember#so was andromeda's#do Not give these people your money until you know the product is worth it#also never forget you're not supporting devs when you buy something. they GOT paid#the money only goes to execs when you buy#you know what fuck it if it ends up in the tag then it does#dragon age#and a reminder that success has never kept a studio alive.#see tango after hi fi rush handily out performed their shadow drop predictions#see blizzard layoffs after successful years#see ea choosing not to continue the dead space remakes#games doing well will not save your favorite studios because sometimes doing too well means closing them#can help boost the illusion of infinite growth#and datv being a game that doesn't have mtx and having taken so long to come out#means it will never perform as well as needed to *truly* be the success it would have to be to become a darling cash cow#(that would still have layoffs even then)
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No more rant posts for a while
#scum talks#earlier i had gotten sad abt how I have seen and heard way too many people not share ideas because of people not 'being interested'#and how they kept acting like they had to like. pander? to a huge imaginary audience with stuff they werent into as much#and i kinda hate the commercialization of blogs.#thats prob a bad word for it but hopefully gets the idea across#i am insane on this blog. i try to tah for other folks sake but thats very limited and ill forget#i wanna be insane and share random thoughts. i want others to feel like they can too#how else are we gonna find people interested in the same stuff if we dont talk about it!!!!#flops#im so worn out
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Got some terrible news on Friday, and needed to draw something that made me happy to straighten my thoughts. Started this last night, but am not really happy with it. So I'm going to work on it off and on until it looks right to me. I'll post the full picture when I do.
#fanart#wip#Sky: Children of the Light#Sky: CotL#Season of Performance#Modest Dancer#Forgetful Storyteller#Forgetful Storyteller x Modest Dancer#Sky shipping#Performance spirits#someone I knew from work had passed away and we didn't find out until Friday#so my emotions have been all over the place#REALLY sad that she's gone#sad I never got to say goodbye#angry that my friend's daughter fucking ABANDONED HER and wanted to keep people from visiting her#not to mention that I kept a full breakdown bottled up after hearing the news#so if I go inactive art-wise I apologize#getting to hang out with friends in Sky helped me feel a little better though
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the thing is you go to a birthday party and most people there are over 30 and two of the people who aren't are under a year old and we're all mutually helping out with the babies because they clearly enjoy getting to touch every person's face at least once, and roughly 85% of the people there are trans, another 10% are otherwise queer, and the other 5% are a 70+ year old friend from choir who's not perfect with pronouns but is very supportive and a few neighbours and friends from parent-baby singing (babbling) class and you're sitting on the grass and eating some homemade cake and garden-grown strawberries and chatting with three trans women about horror and getting invited to future events and you know
it's all good
you're going to be very very tired afterwards, but it's worth it
#literally touching grass#me#personal#im easily tired out by intracommunity debating#so much of it is *hey have you talked with other people -- other trans people other queer people other cis straight people -- in your#community recently? because often this is a matter of lack of broad community than how we act around each other irl*#the only big blot on this weekend is that i burnt all my potatoes that i was roasting before they went bad#because of the ol' forgetfulness#kept them in that oven for hours.... i'll have to get some more
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porch time porch time woowoo !! :D
#just me hi#this is nice hvhs :3#sometimes i forget cuz we've always lived so close together but i MISS my alone-lone time hbshf#alone-lone time is like zero people zero people noises. alone time is like. i can still hear you lol#and i don't like putting on shoes all the time. very hassley i'm giving that a four pfk :)#we moved from the city and augh. aaaoighdhsuaha hbsh#i'm actually really surprised i didn't go insane during the two year transition here because Oh Boy#though you know what i think i did pay in others ways i haven't thought of yet so hehe :> puzzle for later!#ik the first year sucked absolute gravel like Yikes hdhsb#/but Anyway ouhhhhh porch time !! :D#n i can listen to my music out here too.. very cool.. :D#plus the nature and such things lol#there are these cats that keep trying to get at our cats food so i'm low-key looking out for them#//oh and i need to get a trim#or maybe i'll let it grow out again to do somethin fun with it!! that'd be cool but idk if i wanna do long again fish#it was. not so fun lol#the last straw was that i kept trapping it under my elbows when i tried to get up. treacherous hfbsh#//but ye gonna go back to drawing :33#i like drawing centaurs lol :DD
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my mom keeps buying things for me that have big warning labels about possible death should i be worried
#first it was the mints with the ‘not fda approved. don’t overdose!’ disclaimer on them#now it’s nail strengthener with a ��there’s formaldehyde in here don’t blame us if you get cancer. this is the strongest formula we have.’#now all of these might be safe for people with more self control but i finished that box of mints in a day#and kept forgetting that i applied the mail strengthener so when i licked my fingers and was like hm why is this bitter#then i washed my mouth out because you should not eat formaldehyde#my mom is almost certainly not reading the labels on this stuff but like. what can you do.#this is my tag for when i make original posts
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silly as it sounds, reconnecting with my sw interest has done a lot for me mentally and emotionally. I feel like I'm rediscovering and embracing myself after having repressed it for so long due to shame
#i was raised on the movies but in particular the prequels#so ive been interested in sw my entire life#but when i was in elementary school i began getting bullied for it quite heavily#so i tried to disconnect myself from it#come high school mental health is shit so i mostly forget the interest at all#i kept up with the main media but none of the animations like i used to adore#and here we are today having recently decided to give up on the shame bc im too damn old to care anymore and embrace my interest once again#ive felt shame bc of the constant bullying but also bc 'sw is not for girls' and have faced so much judgment for that#also finding people like minded here had been a blessing since there is so much negativity#idk im just happy#私の
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i hit up one of my old psn friends (yes, playstation network) on voicechat because i was tipsy.. and i ended up bawling my eyes out because he was so kind to me it almost hurt
#he told me that im badass for being alive still and doing what im doing#he even said i should write a book which. lol. but he was so sincere and genuine. he wants me to follow my passions ...#we have known each other for almost 8 years. we dont tlak much.. its been 3 years since i have#he was so excited to hear from me ... i forget people care. i forget people know me#i forget i matter to anyone at all.. and here he is almost near tears hearing from me cuz he feared the worst#im just. Crying . a lot. the things he said to me were so kind..#he said he missed me so much and kept inviting me to join his parties when they happen#i told him im too scared and he said he would put a good word in...
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i guarantee you most offline tifosi just want ferrari to win they don’t care who’s driving it
#season hasnt even started and we’re already making conspiracy theories about the next one#relax#yes the presedestinato is the golden ferrari boy but did yall forget the shift people did when seb or alonso went to ferrari?#yes we need to account racism and the fact that previous champions were not black but i try to be positive#if lewis bags out a pole they’re just gonna love him#ferrari is bigger than charles#people hated on carlos less than i thought they would#as soon as he started performing they just liked him#ferrari represents italy so this inherited patriotism italians have only when it comes to sport is bigger than the predestinato#most people i’ve talked to just hated lewis because he kept winning#do you know what will happen if he keeps winning with ferrari?#theyre gonna make him an italian citizenship#italians hate being italians until they can listen to the inno of mameli in a competitive sport event
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