#you know what fuck it if it ends up in the tag then it does

[steveseddie]

night watch

for the @steddiemicrofic prompt “guard, 532 words” | rated: t | cw: none | tags: pre-relationship, eddie pov, nightmares, sharing a bed, pet names, soft boys, fluff

***

With shaky hands, Eddie pours himself a glass of water. 

Nightmares rarely leave him so rattled these days but this one was so horrifying he doesn’t think he’ll sleep more tonight.

So he sticks a cigarette between his lips, grabs a lighter, and heads outside, hoping it’ll help calm him down. 

He flicks the porch light on and that’s when he sees it– Steve’s car parked in his driveway. 

“What the hell?” 

Eddie tucks the cigarette behind his ear and walks to the car where he finds Steve sleeping in the driver’s seat.

He taps on the window and Steve jerks awake, head whipping around in confusion until his eyes find Eddie, widening comically. 

Wiping drool from his face, Steve rolls the window down. “Uh hi, Eddie.”

“Hey, Stevie,” Eddie says, leaning against the car. 

“Why are you out here?” 

“I could ask you the same thing. I came outside for a cigarette, and lo and behold, Steve Harrington, standing guard by my house!” Eddie chuckles amusedly. “Terribly, I might add, considering you were asleep.”

Steve sleepily rubs his eyes. “I usually don’t fall asleep. Guess I’m really tired tonight.” 

Wait–

“Usually?” Eddie blinks. “You’ve done this before?” 

Steve bites his lip nervously. “Every other night but I leave before anyone sees me.”

“Why?” 

“I have these– nightmares about you dying. One night when I couldn’t go back to sleep I went for a drive and ended up here, your light was on and I could see you through the window and that helped. I went back and got some more sleep. Sometimes I stay longer if the nightmare was really bad–”

“Oh, Steve.”

Steve grimaces. “I know it’s creepy–”

“Stevie, I’m not mad,” Eddie says softly, “I just wish you told me.”

“I didn’t want you to laugh!”

“I would never! Tease you a little maybe.”

Steve scoffs, but his mouth ticks up.

“Okay, come on.”

Steve tilts his head. “Where?”

“Inside. It’s fucking cold, you’re tired and my bed is more comfortable than your car.”

“I was just gonna head back–”

“Like hell you are.” 

He leads Steve to his bedroom where they both climb into bed. Eddie doesn’t know if he’ll be able to sleep, but he’ll make sure Steve does. 

“Sorry for not telling you,” Steve whispers.

“Promise me you will next time,” Eddie nudges Steve with his foot. “Sorry for haunting your dreams.”

Steve chuckles. “Not all of them are bad–” 

“No? I get good dreams too? What do we do in those?”

Steve inexplicably blushes. “This– and um, hold hands. Sometimes we kiss.”

Eddie’s breath catches. “Damn, I’m jealous of dream me.”

“You don’t need to be,” Steve whispers, looking at Eddie with molten eyes that flicker to his lips, his fingers brushing Eddie’s hand.

“Christ.” Suddenly, sleep isn’t Eddie’s priority. At least not until Steve yawns. “How about you tell me about those dreams tomorrow?”

Steve must be really tired because he doesn’t protest. “Okay.”

“And next time you have a bad dream, you come here and I’ll turn it into a good one, okay?”

Steve sleepily agrees. 

“Good, now sleep.”

“What about you?”

“It’s my turn to watch over you, sweetheart. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Eds.”

[lovscb97]

synopsis: nerd!chan headcannons. that’s it. that’s the tweet.

tags: nerd!chan x cheerleader!fem!reader, fluff, meet cute, nerd!chan being in love, mentions of alcohol and drinking, kissing, nerd!chan being an inexperienced cutie, etc

wc: 1.48k

add. notes: while you guys wait for nerd!chan pt. 2 as i need to complete writing it and cannot really Do that w/ my current busy schedule (im nearing the end of first sem so i have lots of assignments #sad), i thought i’d treat u guys to some headcannons about him in the nerd!chan universe :3 enjoy!

pt. 1 / pt. 2 (coming soon!)

. . . 

#one. meeting you for the first time

chan has always been a shy kid. he doesn’t stray from his introverted bubble of close friends that he’s either grown up with or gotten to know through extra-curriculars, nor does he ever participate in social activities like parties the way most people in his university do. it’s his firm belief that he has no means to engage in stuff that will, in his words, lower his intelligence and distract him from his studies. he’s perfectly content remaining the way he is; a social outcast (according to changbin at least), because at the least in that sense he’s gaining something from not wallowing in alcohol every other night.

you, on the other hand, are actively always taking part in gatherings as such, having fun with your cheer girls and drinking to drown out the bitter reality of life (although you’d never admit that out loud). it’s your firm belief that college is for letting loose and having fun before entering the corporate world, and what better way to do that than to grind against strangers and throw away all your responsibilities for a night (or ten)? you don’t have too much regard for your studies, but you do have a strong policy on your social life.

it’s because of these reasons that in terms of both hierarchy and hobbies, you and chan couldn’t be any more different. you’re two sides of two separate coins, and if you were to swap lifestyles, you’re sure neither of your friends would recognise you both. what he likes, you loathe, and what you like, he loathes. so why did you do mesh so well? why did you two even begin this charade? 

and how in the everloving fuck did chan even get to know you in the first place? 

it all started before the first day of the first semester. orientation was about to finish right around the corner, and everyone was obviously buzzing with excitement on commencing their first term in university. one guy made the mistake of mentioning throwing a party at some nearby club, and it quickly spread to the entire group of first year students. naturally, it spread to you and your friend group, and it also just happened to spread to the small circle of chan’s best friends, who dragged his ass to the party the day of despite his incessant complaining that he wanted nothing to do with what was happening.

that was, until he saw you.

you’d had one too many shots to drink, stumbling into the balcony after having been separated from your friends and coincidentally landing up where chan just so happened to be admiring the scenery. he’d caught you in his arms as you lost your footing, heart racing and ears reddening at the sound of your drunk giggles. “i bet you’re a ladies man.” you’d teased him, raising a finger to push his glasses up the bridge of his nose, which only made him stutter even more. 

your friends eventually did come to find you and take you back with them, barely even batting an eye at chan who tried to make sure you were being cared for properly as his pleas and tips on handling a hangover the next day fell upon deaf ears. and when jisung and changbin came up to find him, he was completely out of it, stuck in a daze as he repeated all the random information about yourself that you’d rambled to him in his head. he’d pressed a single hand to his chest whilst ignoring his friend’s questions about what the hell he was doing, instead focusing on the feeling the rapid rhythmic beating of his heart under his palm.

it was that night, that chan's love for the moon transcended to his love for you.

#two. kissing you for the first time

chan is just as much of a nerd as they come in every cliche. 

when he met you, when he got to know you, and when he first began whatever twisted relationship he currently has with you, he was completely inexperienced. he knew next to nothing about pleasing a girl that wasn’t acquired from his knowledge of scouring the internet, and he also knew next to nothing about the world of pleasure he was in for. when you’d first leaned in to initiate a kiss, he’d merely pushed you away gently, gasping over his words as he tried to explain to you how new this was all to him.

but you didn’t mind. you didn’t mind that he’d never even gotten close to holding a girl’s hand unless he counted his elementary school crush, and you didn’t mind that he barely knew what to do with you. you didn’t mind that you had to teach him the ropes of everything (mostly because it fed into your corruption kink), and you didn’t mind it even when you had to reassure him you weren’t going to judge him as you got him to relax before leaning in once more.

and when your lips had touched his for the first time, chan swore he felt sparks fly. you were soft, and sweet, and real. instead of being a mere figment of his imagination or the skin of the back of his hand, your presence was electrifying. the way your mouth had moved against his, the way you’d let out a soft sigh at the feeling of it pressing back into him, and the way you’d pulled away and flashed him the prettiest smile he’d ever damn seen in his life before, it was all so dizzying. 

“you’re a pretty good kisser.” you’d winked at him afterwards, and he felt himself flush under your gaze which only made you double over in laughter. you’d even leaned in once more to plant another soft kiss on his lips before motioning for him to continue with whatever demand and supply topic he was teaching you about. chan didn’t give a fuck about that anymore though, the only thought on his mind the entirety of the rest of your study session how to get better at kissing you, and when he could look forward to doing it the next time.

#three. what he likes about you

if anyone asked chan what he likes about you, he’d be at a complete loss for words. not because there’s nothing he can come up with beyond superficial reasons, but because there’s too much that he has to say and isn’t sure of where to actually start.

chan isn’t even sure when he fell for you in the first place. yes, when he first met you that fated night on the balcony at that premature freshmen party he caught feelings for you, but those feelings snowballed and grew into something much larger as the days went on. each night was filled with replaying your conversation (although he barely spoke out of his shock upon seeing you) and wondering what it would be like to be in your presence once more. it got to the point that his friends began asking him why he was spacing out so much during classes and staring at one specific section of the lecture hall, but he didn’t have the courage to admit it was because of you sitting there. 

to simply put it, chan likes everything and nothing about you. he likes the fact that you’re nobody like he’s ever met before, you have a fire to yourself that nobody comes close to claiming, but you laugh sweet enough to extinguish that flame at the same time. something about you draws him in, tantalising and captivating in nature but all too consuming to the point he can’t get you out of his brain no matter how hard he tries. the time you came up to him to ask if he’d help you with tutoring, his mind almost short circuited because holy shit, were you actually talking to him in real life instead of the made up interactions he plays out with you before going to sleep? and you knew his name and who he was on top of that? it was too good of a dream to be true.

that’s precisely why chan can’t let go of you now. even if it hurts him, even if it’s painstakingly hard to be hidden from the public eye whilst being together with you, he doesn’t want to let go of you. because letting go of you entails that he’s giving up on his aspirations of being with you, and chan is nothing next to a quitter. he’ll have you in any way he can, even if that means not abiding by his friends’ requests to just let you go and being kept in the dark by your lack of confrontation for your feelings.

at the end of the day, chan is head over heels for you, and that’s something that’ll never change. 

. . .

comments and reblogs are always appreciated! <3

[jjonglemons]

all my works can be found here

Don't Speak

part one

song for chapter link - here is part two of my dream inspired story!

Summary: you’ve been friends with mingi for a while now. finally, you’ve confessed your feelings and it seems like he feels the same… but not without complications.

WC: 2.3k

Tags: smut, fratboy!mingi, fem!reader, angst, some fluff, car sex, praise, oral, come eating

It was driving you crazy not hearing from Mingi. By the third day of being ghosted, you should have given up. But you didn’t. Maybe it was a trauma response from your past, having always ended up in codependent situations, or maybe there was just something deeper and logical as to why he was avoiding you that you didn’t know of yet and could sense. Maybe it was both. Even Hongjoong took notice, trying extra hard to distract you from your distress, which helped momentarily, but not enough. 

In a moment of frustration, you pulled out your phone and recorded a voice message for Mingi. “Fuck you,” you seethed into the microphone, “you’re such a dick, Mingi. I hope you know that,” you swore. “Ugh! Quit avoiding me already!” 

You meant to delete it, but instead you accidentally hit send. “Oh, fuck,” you groaned, burrying your head into the couch pillow. “This is wonderful,” your voice dripped with sarcasm. You decided to read a book to distract yourself from your horrible error, hoping that Mingi would somehow not receive the message.

“Y/N,” Hongjoong sighed, plopping down on the couch beside you a few minutes later. “I know you’ve been coming here every night in hopes of running into Mingi…”

“And what about it?” You snapped, glancing up from your book. Hongjoong winced slightly at your sharp tone, and you immediately felt remorseful. “Sorry,” you apologised, “I just… I don’t know, Joongie. I know he does this to a lot of people he fucks, and I’m fucking pissed, obviously. But it just feels like there’s a reason beyond him just being an ass as to why he does it.”

“He is an ass.”

“Joong,” you whined, “then why the hell are you friends with him!?”

“Fair enough,” he said, “he’s actually a great guy, he’s just going through a lot.”

You narrowed your eyes suspiciously. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“It’s not my place to tell you,” Hongjoong responded, standing up from the couch.

“W-wait!” You tried to call after him, but he kept walking towards his bedroom. “Dammit,” you hissed. Now you really had to find him so you could talk.

It’s not like you and Mingi were the best of friends, but the number of your interactions with each other certainly amounted to a level of friendship, and one high enough to take interest in him on a deeper level.

Deciding you felt too claustrophobic inside of the house, you settled on going for a walk outside. You knew of a nice spot nearby that overlooked the town with a mountainous backdrop. It was where you’d often go to think when times were rough. 

“Later, Joongie,” you shouted before exiting the house and slamming the door shut behind you.

Once at the clearing, you sat against a tree stump. You closed your eyes, breathing deeply for a few moments to create a sense of calm. It was short lived, because you heard distant chatter that began to increase in volume with each passing moment.

“I told you, I’m fucking done!” The lower voice hissed. It sounded oddly familiar…

“Shut up, we’re not done until I say we are,” the second voice, more higher pitched, threatened.

“Why the fuck did you follow me all the way here, Violet?” The first voice seethed, “don’t you know how boundaries fucking work?”

Then it hit you. It was Mingi talking, to whomever this Violet person was. You peered up from your spot on the stump, careful not to make your presence known. You were far enough away and blocked well by your position against the tree that they would have to look extra hard to notice you. When you saw the two figures, you took note of the woman that was beside Mingi. You’d seen her around campus before, but never around Mingi. Is she his girlfriend? You questioned, watching the scene before you. She was trying to latch onto him, but he kept refusing.

“Please,” Mingi sighed, feeling defeated, “just go home.”

“Mingi,” Violet whined, “c’mon, don’t be like that! We can work this out.”

“I said no!” Mingi responded, with as much force as he could muster.

There was a long pause before Violet spoke again. “Okay.” It seemed like she finally got the memo. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“No the fuck you won’t.”

Violet laughed loudly, “Why haven’t you reported me already if you hate me so much?”

“You know damn well you’d find a way to get to me regardless, so why the fuck would I bother?”

An almost sinister smile spread across Violet’s lips before she turned from Mingi and began to walk away. “Later, Ming.” She sang.

Once Violet drove away, Mingi let out a long, deep exhale. “Fucking hell,” he muttered, kicking the rocks angrily at his feet. He took a seat on the nearby bench, burying his face into his hands out of frustration.

Slowly, you emerged from your spot, quietly stepping towards him. “Mingi?” You whispered softly, being careful not to scare him.

He jumped slightly, looking up at you who was now standing in front of him. “Y/N?” He asked, surprised. “What are you doing here?”

“I was just relaxing over there,” you pointed at the tree stump a few feet away, “then I heard you and that girl talking, I think you said her name was Violet?”

His face paled, a frown forming at his lips. “Yeah. Violet.” 

“Are you okay?” you questioned, taking a seat beside him, “the conversation seemed… intense.”

He sighed. “I will be. She just won’t leave me alone and I don’t know what to do. She always finds a way to insert herself back into my life.”

“May I ask who she is?” 

“She’s my ex.”

“Oh.” You both fell quiet, the only sound coming from the rustling leaves of the trees surrounding you. After a few moments, you spoke again. “Is she why you’ve been avoiding me?”

“Yeah,” Mingi nodded, sprawling himself out across the bench with a loud exhale, “but it’s not for the reason you’re probably thinking.”

Admittedly, you were thinking he had been cheating on her this whole time. But after seeing how they interacted, it definitely seemed like that wasn’t the reason.

“What’s the reason, then?”

“Since we broke up last year, every time I’ve tried to be with someone else, she pries and manipulates so they’ll leave,” he spat. “She’s always trying to control me, refusing to believe that we’re no longer together.”

You frowned, taking in his words with concern. “That sounds awful,” you said empathetically.

“It is,” Mingi groaned. “No one has ever given me the chance to explain the situation. They just take her words at face value and never come back.”

Ah. So Mingi wasn’t the ghoster in those past situations. Though, you were starting to wonder why he decided to do that with you this time around.

“So this is what Hongjoong meant,” you blurted.

Mingi furrowed his brows. “Hongjoong?” 

“He insisted you were a great guy, just going through a lot.”

“How much did he tell you?”

“That’s it. He said it wasn’t his place to share.”

Mingi let out a sigh of relief. “Good to know he’s trustworthy, unlike some people,” he rolled his eyes, making a clear jab at his ex. “I appreciate him keeping his mouth shut.”

“Then,” you started, “how come you ghosted me these past few days?” Mingi looked at you. “You’re telling me these past lovers of yours left you, so that doesn’t explain why you left me.”

Mingi looked slightly panicked, but only for a moment. He exhaled, pulling at his jeans bunched up on his knees. “I-I was afraid,” he admitted, “I really, really like you, and I was scared you’d just leave me like everyone else once I told you the truth. Or that she’d get to you first. I freaked out,” his eyes met yours, glistening apologetically. “So, I thought I’d just leave first. I haven’t felt this way in a long time.”

“I see,” you said, smiling gently. You reached over and rested your palm over his, rubbing your thumb across his knuckles comfortingly. “I understand now.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologised. “It was extremely fucked up for me to do that to you.”

“It was,” you agreed, “but I understand why you did it. I’d probably done the same if I were you.”

“I really want to be with you, Y/N, I do,” he paused, “but I don’t know if it’s going to work as long as Violet’s around. She’ll do anything to get what she wants.”

You shook your head. “I’m willing to stick by you, Mingi. It would take a lot more than her games to keep me from you.”

Mingi smiled, relief rushing over his features. “Do you really mean that?”

You nodded. “I do.”

“Then, let’s have a do-over?”

“Sure,” you grinned, “Can we start it by kissing here on this bench? The sunset is so pretty, I feel like I’m in a romcom,” you joked.

Mingi quickly pulled you onto his lap, pressing his lips gently to your chin, then cheeks, and finally landing on your lips. You giggled into the kiss, wrapping your hands around the back of his neck to pull him deeper into it.

You pushed your hips down harder against him, feeling a rush from his tongue suddenly swiping across your lips. You let out a soft moan, moving your hands from his neck to run your fingers through his hair. 

“You know people could see us, right?” Mingi said between kisses.

“Car?” You suggested.

He picked you up and carried you over to his SUV, popping the trunk so the two of you could crawl in. He shut the door behind him. Thankfully, no one else was at clearing, so it made it a lot easier for the two of you to have sex, but at least you had some protection from his car if someone did decide to show up.

You hovered over him, caressing his hair as you nipped at his neck. He hissed and gripped your hips, pulling you on to him as you grinded against his clothed, hard cock.

“Let me please you, baby,” you cooed, sucking at his neck, “you deserve it.”

“I want you to feel good, too,” he frowned.

“Oh, I will,” you smirked, “and besides, you gave me the best fuck of my life a few days ago. Now it’s my turn to show you what I can do.” With that, you helped him pull down his pants and boxers, allowing his cock to spring free. 

“Are you sure?” He asked.

You nodded. “Pleasing you brings me lots of pleasure, too.” You leaned down and kissed his tip. “Sit back and relax for me.”

Mingi softly groaned as you took all of him into your mouth, bobbing up and down his shaft at alternating paces. When you felt him begin to sputter beneath you, you slowed down immensely to keep him edged.

“Fuuuuuck,” he whined, “don’t tease me, please.” You giggled, the vibrations on his cock causing him to throw his head back against the side of the car. “You’re so good at this, baby, holy fuck.” As Mingi grew closer to the edge, you reached a steady pace as you continued to lick and suck on his cock. “I’m gonna-” 

Before he could even finish the sentence, he let go, come dripping down your throat and the excess onto your chin. You released him with a pop, swallowing his load and licking the rest off of your chin. 

“Please, ride my cock,” he begged, reaching to grab your hips so he could pull you towards him. You obliged, wiggling yourself out of your leggings before hovering your sopping core over his tip. You brushed it against your wet clit a few times, an ungodly groan erupting from him. “Please, I need to be inside of you, baby.”

You slowly fit yourself over him, humming in ecstasy as you begin to hop up and down on his cock. 

“Just like that,” he mewled, holding your hips to help guide on you, “fucking just like that.”

“Yeah?” you teased. “Is this how you like it?” you moaned, picking up the pace.

“Oh, fuck yeah.”

Your moans began to match each other’s, your cunt growing slicker with each thrust. Mingi couldn’t help himself when he felt you begin to squirt on his cock.

“Fuck, I-”

“Inside, Mingi, please,” you screamed, pulling at his hair hard as you continued to grind on him. “Shit, I’m coming!”

You released your orgasm, your juices covering every inch on Mingi’s cock. He wasn’t far behind. His legs began shaking as he pounded his final thrust into you hard. “Holy fuck,” he yelled, still pushing himself up inside you as he road out his high.

You collapsed into his lap, pressing a few light kisses to his neck as you laid there for a few minutes. Mingi was still inside of you, but neither of you seemed to mind. It felt nice to be close like this, to be intertwined to that extent.

Suddenly, you were reminded of that voicemail you had sent to him earlier that day. “Hey, Mingi?” You said, catching his attention. You pulled back so you could look at him.

“What’s up?” He asked. 

“Just… ignore that voice message I sent you earlier.”

He laughed. “I kind of already listened to it.”

You groaned, “I’m sorry, I was just so mad. I didn’t mean to actually send it.”

“I deserved it, it’s alright.”

You shrugged, then leaned down to kiss him. “Maybe you did.” you joked.

“Maybe I should get you mad again, huh?” Mingi teased, “if it means you’ll fuck me like you just did.”

“Hey!” You chuckled, slapping his shoulder playfully.

He wrapped his arm around your hips, flipping you over so you were now pinned beneath him. He dipped down towards your still dripping cunt. “Shall I start now?”

[piftamere]

twelve - hello kitty bandages (wc : 600; cw : blood)

it’s late, he���s sitting on her washing machine, she’s standing between his legs. a pile of blood soaked tissue paper and cotton pads fills the bathroom sink. a spray bottle of disinfectant in hand, the kind that stings. every so often, he winces, and she mumbles some curse word under her breath. she’s not a fucking nurse, he’s an idiot, he should've went to a hospital, it fucking won’t stop bleeding…

he’s being as quiet as he can. things were weird between them since the other night, and what his friends told him has been silently haunting the back of his mind. but after running out of the locker room with a busted lip and blood dripping down his hand and face, he could only think of one place to go. that’s how he ended up here, and even if it hurts, he has no regrets.

she’s focused, biting her lower lip in concentration, and under the dim light coming through the curtains, she looks beautiful.

when she’s done, his face is covered in hello kitty bandages.

she comes back from the kitchen with a bag of frozen peas, holding out her hand. he places his bruised hand in hers.

she holds the bag a few inches away from his knuckles before speaking, “tell me what happened.”

he shakes his head. “you don’t need to know.”

her brows furrow, “don’t try to protect me.”

she’s holding up his gaze. she won’t give up until he explains.

he looks down at his hand. with a sigh, he whispers, “shion was talking shit.”

“about me?”

he nods, he still won’t look into her eyes. “you sure you wanna know?”

“i’m sure.”

“…he called you a slut. said you ‘begged for it’, he asked me if i ‘hit that yet’. i don’t remember what he said after that. i snapped. before i knew it, my fist was in his nose.”

he takes a quick look at her face, she’s lost in thought for a moment.

“thanks… i guess,” she mutters, as she sets the peas on his bruise. she stares in his eyes. she presses down hard on his hand, as if to emphasize her words. “but i’m not a damsel in distress. i don’t need you to defend my honor.”

“especially if you’re gonna get hurt.” she doesn’t say it, at least not with her words, but he reads it in her gaze. then again, maybe he only sees what he wants to see.

he winces, and with chuckle he whispers, “yeah i know.”

hesitantly he reaches for her hand and links his uninjured fingers with hers. his thumb draws soothing circles into her skin. her shoulders relax.

“i hope he looks worse than you.”

“oh trust me, he does.” he smiles, the tear in his lip threatening to bleed again, before continuing, “sorry i won’t look nice on our date tomorrow.”

she shifts her weight on her feet, “don’t worry about that.”

she inches forwards, wrapping her arms around his neck. he rests his head on her shoulder, closing his eyes. he places his hand on the small of her back, holding her closer.

he nuzzles his face into her hair, mumbling, “i should get going,” making no effort to move at all.

“and what? walk back to your place in this state?”

“someone can come pick me up.”

she insists, "did he hit you on the head? don't be an idiot. stay the night."

he chuckles, as he tightens his hold on her, the frozen peas falling on the ground. “okay.”

fun facts

atsumu was too upset about the loss to notice yn sneak away.

the bandages are yachi’s, it's all they had left.

yn's roommates went to celebrate the win but she wasn't in the mood to go with them.

atsumu and yn planned their date before the party and she was debating canceling it.

author's note

i really like this one :)

the men in this universe are lovely

play dumb! - next

taglist : open!

@alpha-mommy69 @bakugouswh0r3 @giocriedpower @itsdragonius @haechansbbg @wondipity @iaminyourfloors @na0koz @from-mae @eusaevi @kr1nqu @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @thechaosoflonging @littlemiyastars @seikamuzu @nymphsdomain @r4veeen @shesabeeler

if you're name is crossed out i couldn't tag you, if it's not fixed in a week i'll remove you sorry :(

[missfrustration]

grip on the barrel (toji fushiguro x reader, 18+)

rating: explicit 18+, minors do not interact!

tags: pwp, shameless smut, canon universe, hate sex, misogynistic and sexist language, degradation, gun kink, muzzle kink, masturbation, semi-public sex, vaginal sex, co-workers, not for the faint of heart

A/n: the following content contains some pretty intense gunplay, and some seriously fine toji content, you have been very warned! on ao3 here!

word count: 2.3k

-----------

“I didn’t think you were the type to torture someone after they spit out everything they know.”

“I didn’t think I would be hired to work with a brat like you.”

The man in front of you methodically wiped off his stained knives before putting them in an engorged purple worm you couldn’t believe was real. You shook it off.

“Maybe if you weren’t so bold in how you handle your missions, I wouldn’t have to help your sorry ass, Toji.”

The man says nothing, choosing to lazily stride ahead of you to the rendezvous spot in the tunnel of back alleys.

Although you were hired specifically for your information-gathering skills and methods, you were not fully briefed on the assigned target, the ‘Vessel.’ Yet here you are, with the secretive organization’s lead hitman at their disposal, Toji Fushiguro.

You catch up to him, pointing a conniving finger at the side of his face. It’s the same side that has that harrowing scar on his mouth. 

“And what you did back there? I’ve been doing this as long as you, Toji, and we both know a chump that’ll start talking after a few punches. Bringing in the damn armory fucks up our plan when you start cutting off tongues.”

“Let’s get one thing straight, little lady.” He turns to you, towering over your figure with an intimidating presence that is overly purposeful. The blood on his chest from the mission is prominent, with no intention of him to hide it. “I don’t play when there’s money on the line. If you don’t follow my lead, we don’t do the job right, and you’ll end up like them. Got it?”

You step up to him, unbothered by his threat. He cocks his head at your audacity to challenge him.

“I can work fine on my own. Not my fault your m.o. is shitty enough to have a girl like me work with you.”

“The only time I work with girls like you is when they have hands that please me. Don’t get ahead of yourself, sweetheart.” He clicks his tongue at you, rubbing his neck. To him, you’re a pest he’s stuck with that he has no intention to entertain.

“I’m sure they get paid to please you. Must be dehumanizing to fuck a hardass.”

“They’re the ones that end up giving me money. I do too well for them.”

“Jesus, gag me.”

“With that attitude, I won’t.” His comebacks come out with ease, yet they make you want to die on the spot.

“Look, I know you know more about this stupid vessel than the organization does. Not only that, you reveal classified client information to the only suckers that you decide to keep alive. That doesn’t sound like getting the job right; it sounds like you don’t care what’s best for the clients if it’s in the way of your fucking ego. Likely, you don’t even have the brain capacity to process what I just said.” 

His face clicks to you as it contorts in anger. In a flash, his fingers fly to your hair, pulling your head by the scalp to yank your eyes to him. His other hand pulls a gun from the creature and aims at the thick of your temple.

His face levels with yours, now flush against your ear. 

“I don’t need a wench like you talking shit to me. All you women are good for is being fucked.” His words are like daggers, piercing violently into your ear in booms.

Toji moved quicker than you could process, and your breath hitches from his hands on you. He slams you against a brick wall and the barrel of the gun presses against the side of your head. His hands roughly tangled in your hair, and his annoying mouth pressed to your ear again.

“I got no brain, huh? Say that shit again when I paint yours all over this fucking alley.” His tone is purposeful; the words are annunciated as he buries the gun to your head. He wants you to be scared enough to submit under him.

You should back down now—say you’re sorry about pissing him off and to let you go—yet you’re the opposite of scared. Your hastened breaths seem to be from the terrifying scene presented to you. That’s the natural reaction from someone else in your position. 

You try to pry yourself off, only succumbing to his raw strength. But Toji can see the change in your eyes when the weapon is turned on you and your bodies feel so close. 

Mmph.

You moan from the hands that hold you, making any words of defense hold no weight. You scramble from his hands to grasp any dignity, but the eyes that were once blazed in hellfire are now doused in curiosity.

“Oh, interesting ,” Toji says, pulling you close as he looks at your heated face. His face is irritatingly smug. “I guess I was right about you, little girl.”

“You fucking asshole,” You seethe. “Just put me down.”

“Oh, do you really want that? I can tell by your eyes that you fucking love this, don’t you?” He glides the handgun down your face, sliding down your chin and now firmly planted on the corner of your lips. “I can shut that dirty mouth up if I wanted to.”

“Like hell you could.” 

But you can’t deny the sensation in between your legs when he points the gun at you. He rubs the barrel of the handgun, twisting it against your skin as if to carve it into you.

This same man has killed more people this week than nights in a year. He tortures with no remorse and kills with no feeling—a cold, calculated monster who now turns all of his sadistic tendency towards you. You were so close to death that you could practically taste the power from the barrel that could shoot into your skull at one pull of his finger.

And you can’t help but moan again. 

You can’t help but pant from feeling overwhelmed by the dangerous man in front of you. It was like spinning a life-or-death roulette, with each second more thrilling than the last. 

“You’re drooling like a mutt. You’re the craziest bitch I’ve met.” Toji laughs. “Why don’t you show me you’re more interesting than women I use off the job?” 

Your bloodstream fills will rage, caging your body from total submission. But you know he has you cornered: your biggest turn-on has been revealed. 

“You fucking deaf? You can’t do anything better than every girl that’s opened her legs for me.” He snares.

“Asshole.” 

Your mouth moves to suck on the gun. The hard rubber of the silencer clacks with your teeth, and your lips clasp a ring around the barrel. 

You’re not stupid to know that there are a few more shots in his magazine. Toji shot in the ceiling earlier to intimidate the grunts you got information from. He’s only a trigger away from blowing your head off, yet the level of danger has you moaning on the gun, half-lidded and legs trembling against Toji’s calloused body. 

“Jesus,” Toji says.

You notice a glint of exhilaration in Toji’s eye, and a jolt of arousal runs down your spine when you feel the pressure of the gun increase. 

Toji shoves the silencer down your throat, watching your lips swallow it down and eyes begin to water.

Above all, Toji was more interested that you haven’t pulled away from the long barrel shoved down your throat, instead your cheeks hollow out. You choose to take it in your mouth, now sucking enough to taste the bitterness of the gunpowder still left on the muzzle.

“Thought I was just some hardass, hm? Now I have you gagging it down like a slut.”

He pulls it out of your mouth, watching you cough out. 

“Bastard, I know you like this too.” You say, “You wouldn’t keep going unless you liked it.”

“With some girl thinking she’s all that?” Toji forces your body on the ground with your back flush to the brick wall. “What I want is to have you squirm.”

“I’d like to see you try.” Your ass hurts from that fall, causing you to shift your legs. 

“Easy.”

You don’t think you should’ve shifted, as Toji eyes narrow on them. In one fluid motion, he grabs your legs before ripping your cargo pants off of you. He didn’t even spare a second to look at your black lacy underwear before tearing it off. Within seconds, he already has you stripped bare on your bottom half. 

Then he grabs his gun again. 

“Don’t keep them closed.”

Toji’s hand split into your thighs, cracking them open with sandpaper palms. Even his grip is brutish, and you see your soft skin squish from it. When you tried to close your legs, it seemed that he would wretch your plump thighs wider. He puts himself between them. 

You can see the lights in his eyes go off when Toji’s face contorts to sick pleasure. He grabs the gun and dives it between the aching apex of your thighs. 

The second the cold muzzle of the gun touches your clit, you feel a wave of warm fuzz. You practically melt into the touch. He languidly rubs it against you, watching you twitch against the gun in sick intrigue. 

“Such a deprived slut.”

“And you’re a sick fuck.”

Yet, both of your eyes are glued to the scene. Toji is practically fucking you with the gun with the way it rocked into you. You moaned against him, reveling in the way he could easily mutilate your body if he wanted to. It all made the gun slick against you faster. 

A devilish smirk came to your face. 

“Put it in.” 

Toji raised an eyebrow, obviously persuaded by your offer yet not wanting to give in without pure degeneracy.

“Touch yourself before I do.”

No, this man wants to defile you without holding back. You could practically gag, yet it was lost on the erotic sound on your tongue. You fucking hate Toji, yet you’re hate fucking at its finest with the Sorcerer Killer. 

You gather your juice on your fingers before diving into your pink bud of nerves. The thousands of nerves screamed in lust when the skin contacted. 

“Shit.” 

Toji’s eyes gall to your hands, watching you fuck your sensitive clit. Your hand flicks back and forth so fast that invites Toji to thrust the silencer into you. You feel your walls stretch to the gun, screaming from the pain of the rugged ridges, yet your legs shake from the ecstasy. 

The way that Toji grips his trigger makes you lull your head back. Your fingers start to work a pace that rocks you closer. You feel so close, but you stop before you can cum. You want this moment to last.

Toji could give less of a fuck what you wanted.

“Who said you could stop?” Toji says, starting to thrust it inside you at a degenerate pace. He grabs your hair, lunging into your ear. 

“Keep. Going.”

You grunt in annoyance, yet you comply like a dog.

Your fingertips come back to your pink bud, rocking your hips against your hand slowly. Toji’s body is pressed against you, focusing on panting and sucking your sensitive ear, encouraging you to keep going. He grunts into your ear, lips taking your lobe, biting it hard enough for you to squeak, thrusting the barrel fast enough to make you cum; it’s all so sadistic, yet you didn’t stop him.

Toji rustles his hand out of your hair and down his pants, popping his hard erection out before immediately beating it off. The way he starts to pant from the sensation, from the vision of you, was both annoying and so enticing. You displayed your dripping arousal to him, watching the movie that was his cock bucking into his hand. 

You ram against the wall from the sheer intensity of Toji thrusting his silencer into you, erotic noises come out of your mouth, ripping out of you when Toji bites down on your neck. It was the catalyst for your entire cunt to burst in pleasure.

You burst into animalistic moans as you cum on Toji’s gun, and he sure as hell loved it. He helped you ride that despicable orgasm with each deep thrust of the gun hitting your cervix. The pleasure was so overwhelming your thighs hugged against his body, and you lunged into the crook of his neck. You bit down on the flesh of his shoulder mid-climax, fully enthralled by sheer pleasure that it was almost too much to bear.

Once Toji pulls out of the gun, he eyes down the creamy substance that stained the black exterior. It dripped down like honey before it lifted onto Toji’s tongue. He swallowed it with an insatiable hunger, practically rolling his eyes when his lids fluttered.

“The roughest girls taste the sweetest,” He groans erotically. “It makes me want more.”

“Like you could’ve taken it further,” you panted, starting to get up.

Toji scoffs.

“Oh, that would’ve really killed you,” He darkly laughs, “and I need you to make it to the rendezvous. I’d rather die than have to carry you there.”

“If you keep your vulgarity, I would rather die than have you touch me again.”

“Don’t be like that. I can catch you on a day we're off and easily break you in like a fucking bottle. Get a little vacation from work; I’ll make sure your little legs can’t get up again.”

“Don’t count on it, asshole. Don’t think we’re buddy-buddy just because you made a girl cum for once.”

“Just admit it. You loved it like a filthy little vixen.”

“In your dreams.”

But Jesus, if he can make you feel like that without his dick, you can’t imagine what full-on sex with a cold assassin is like.

There is no fucking way to save this business relationship now.

[afreakingdork]

Soft Spot - Chapter 15

RotTMNT Donatello x Reader

Yes, it is she. You know her! You love her! The myth. The legend. Your ex-roommate! It's Coral done by the darling @garbagemilkshake

Rated: Explicit

Warnings/Tags: Romance, Established Relationship, Married Couple, Married Life, Aged-Up Mutant Ninja Turtles, Villain Donatello (TMNT), Love, POV Second Person, Babies, Pregnancy, AFAB reader, Vaginal Sex, Rough Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Creampie, Breeding Kink, Multiple Orgasms, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Fertility Issues, Pregnant Sex, Pregnancy Kink, Reader-Insert, Cunnilingus, Fellatio, Cum Eating, Turtle Noises (TMNT), I have a Biology Degree and I’m Using it, Menstruation, There WILL NOT be any Miscarriages

Synopsis: First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then comes the next step about as smooth as the others arrived. The baby-oriented sequel to Weak Spot.

Also available on Ao3

First 💜 Previous

You walked Donnie down the street. You didn’t have a hold on him, but he was using you as a guide since he was conversing with Spencer in his glasses. A series of emails that were being passed that no one from the outside could see and you tried your best to weave him through pedestrians. He had assured you he had done this many times on his own, but his distracted gait made you doubt he had done so without casualty.

Maybe he did have the power to dodge people perfectly at the last second, but you preferred if he made his journey without startling leagues of pedestrians.

You hoped they finished up soon because you were getting close to the street where you would part ways. You had just finished another appointment with Dr. Kuro for your first of many weekly updates. Now marked at nine weeks, you were moving along with better data. Your blood tests confirmed that you were in great human and non-mutated health. Your swabs said that your womb had yokai markers, but none of which was affecting your body as a whole.

It was an oddity that you were just going to have to accept.

Like how your embryo had half an eggshell on it.

Like many other things that were making you nervous, but you didn’t currently have time for.

You needed to guide Donnie.

 “Y/N.” The man in question spoke as if on cue.

“Yeah?”

“Spencer sends cursory greetings and congratulations.”

“Send him one last email telling him I expect a gift basket. A good one.”

“He’s already considered and chose to send flowers.”

“What? They’re tough on your nose in the apartment! The space is too small for the smell!”

“Here.” He held out his hand and a screen appeared.

You took it from him even though you knew he was floating it to you. “What is he thinking…?”

Unlike Donnie, you veered off to the side to stop and read.

One amongst a long email chain, it was a list from Spencer that reminded you of school prizes for meeting fundraising milestones.

For conceiving, you got flowers.

For getting past a certain point in pregnancy, you would get a gift basket.

For securing government surrender, you would receive an all expenses paid hotel visit along with a day trip to a spa that seemed to specialize in pampering pregnant people.

You stared at the last with mounting sarcasm before you looked up to your partner. “You really waste Genius Built funds on this?”

“We have an account specifically for bribing clients.”

“I’m not a client, but I’m glad you’re calling it what it is.”

“Spencer does not.”

“Spencer probably calls it an entertainment expense.”

Donnie’s head tipped to agree. 

“Fuck it. I’ll take it, but tell him to make it live flowers. Have him throw in one of those planters that’ll hang off the fire escape. We’ll put them outside the kitchen window.”

You watched as the window in front of you shot down the email chain and a new message was penned.

You reviewed what your husband wrote. “Gotta play his game. Say something about how hard we’ve worked for this and he’s being a jerk for assuming I’d enjoy a ‘participation trophy’ gift in light of growing a literal life, but make it way less mean.”

It took a few adjustments since Donnie wasn’t nearly as versed in corporate speak, but you got something safe enough to be seen by HR and it was sent.

“What does he think?” You asked as you slipped back onto the sidewalk. “Will the government change their mind?” 

Donnie stayed close to your side. “He’ll find the advantage and make it work.”

You nodded.

“He agrees with Kuro’s determination.”

“You already dropped the ‘doctor?’”

“You’ll be on a first name basis soon.” He spoke with metered affection.

You were inclined to agree since she had given you her personal number both for emergencies and to text any oddities over.

“We’ll part up ahead.” Donnie was clearly looking toward the next intersection.

“What’s your plan for today?”

“Schematics.”

“I bet Spencer has all the marketing ready for your new baby division.” 

He gave a single nod and you approached the curb. “Pass my salutations on to Coral.”

“Will do.” You stepped close to your husband and gave him a quick hug before heading off as the signal turned.

You felt him watch after you before he took his leave down the side of the street. While you had driven to your appointment, it made more sense to walk to your next destination with its proximity. It was a short 10 minutes to where you were meeting your friend. It helped too since you were gradually adding more steps. Instead of diving into some intense exercise regime, you were taking it slow. Your plan to get smoothies fell in a similar line with your diet changes.

You only had a few shops to go, but identified your friend’s messy bun from where you were. She was dressed casually and kicked back against a small fence while staring down at her phone. Her lips pinched in concentration, but her eyes held a lackadaisical quality that said she was reading some rag she didn’t agree with.

“What’s it this time?” You spoke as you stepped into her side.

“They swapped some brand’s packaging for less plastic and everyone’s whining even though we know everyone just throws the box away. Like who cares?” She glanced at you and then back at her phone before offering it.

“Everyone’s gonna complain about something.” You huffed.

“Yep! You’ve heard my mom!” She kicked off the metal railing for a reverberation and got upright.

“What was it last time?” You pondered and led toward the smoothie shop door.

“What wasn’t it?” She scoffed and followed along.

“It was something…” You got in line. “… like she got an ice cream bar and wouldn’t stop talking about how some of the caramel was on the packaging…?”

Coral tossed her head up to the ceiling to groan. “Because mega corp asshole Unilever cares about making each bar identically perfect!”

“She threw out the box, didn’t she?!”

“Yes!” Coral shoved a finger into your arm. “Now she’s the one bad for the environment. The amount of shit she wastes and garbage she buys.”

“What are you getting?”

“I don’t know. These things are glorified desserts. There’s one with moo in the title of something. You?”

“I was thinking the green one. Always wanted to try it.”

“The pseudo-health shit?” Coral cut in front of you to order first.

“You’re only like triple standard territory with all your beauty crap.”

“Oh no!” Coral pretended to bemoan before she cut the act long enough to order for both of you. “I want to pamper myself when everything is on fire. Sue me.”

“Add flax!” You rushed to the employee.

The person took down the note with no problem and you moved to the register.

“Flax?” Coral mouthed. “Are you doing overnight oats with chia seeds, grandma?”

“Barb after barb.” You both shoved each other for your wallets before she won out as her elbow inched dangerously close to your abdomen and you bowed out.

She paid. “You compared me to my mom!”

“I was just saying you buy crap-crap too.”

“You’re totally not a thing name for senseless shit.”

“It’s cute.” You stepped out of the way for the next person and blenders started up. “You suggested smoothies. I’m just trying something new.”

“It is cute and I wanted a million calories of peanut butter and chocolate in a little less lethal form.”

“They call that protein.”

“Who does? Meat heads?”

“Isn’t that the marketing?” You gestured to a sign where a man with rippling muscles appeared to be drinking a milkshake.

“Eh!” She shrugged. “How’s being pregnant?”

“Surprisingly not that-“ You froze.

Coral obviously propped her elbows up on a nearby standing table and gestured for you to join her.

You hobbled to stand across from her and searched her wildly.

You hadn’t told anyone.

Not yet.

Not for a very specific reason.

“How?” You hissed.

She was a little taken aback by the force of your response, but played it off. “You looked it then acted like it.”

“Yeah, no! Not good enough! How?!” You leaned in to seethe with a modicum of privacy.

“I noticed the second I saw you. You really do look it. It’s like a glow. You know I’ve always been able to tell. How many celebrities have I been right about?”

“You can’t know from that!”

“Why not?” She tilted her head with caustic innocence.

“Because nobody can know-!” A worried sound caught your throat and you shirked away.

It put Coral on high alert. “Is something wrong??”

“No… It’s just…”

“Hey.” She reached across the table and touched your arm.

You took her hand in and then all but flopped against the tall table. “Did the green smoothie thing tip you off? I need to go ham on fiber and vitamins.”

“No, I figured it out the moment I saw you. Everything else was confirmation. The drink choice, the flax, how you were terrified I’d even look at your stomach. I was just waiting for the best time to ask.”

“When you could trick me into confirming.” You griped.

She smiled a little. “Well?”

“We just had our second OB appointment.”

“Oh?” Her head bobbed.

“Yeah. She’s like the best of the best. Endora Kuro.”

Coral shrugged, not knowing who that was.

“I’m at nine weeks.”

“Holy shit!” She bounced with excitement. “That’s so far along!”

“I guess?”

“Congrat-”

You seized her wrist. “Don’t!”

She only blinked wide.

“Don’t… do that. Don’t tell anyone…”

“Okay, cut the crap. What’s up? Something’s up.”

“There’s…” Your smoothies were called and you broke for a moment to get them. “It’s a whole thing.”

“Looks like we’ve got time.” She tipped her straw to you and sucked the thick liquid.

You followed suit and were thankful for the relatively bland flavor. “The embryo is strange.”

“Yeah, well. Look at its dad.”

You shot her a glare.

“Sorry, last joke.”

“You’re not… wrong. The mutation is making things complicated.”

She hummed for you to go on with a sip.

“You know how I told you mutants aren’t supposed to reproduce and chances were low?”

She gulped. “Yeah?”

“The embryo is showing hybrid signs. There’s some placenta and some eggshell. My body’s not made to make the shells, obviously. We don’t know how it’s going to grow. We don’t know if it can grow. It’s all… scary. Nerve-wracking. A whole thing.”

“Oh…” Coral’s tone dipped with similar worry and sympathy.

“Yeah.”

“So… you’re waiting? For what exactly?”

“Three months.” You leveled with her. “Something like 80% of miscarriages happen in the first three and after that it drops significantly because of how far along the baby is. It’s considered safer and we’ve decided to wait until then to tell anyone.”

She nodded slowly. “Won’t you start to show?”

“I guess? Nothing yet, but I think the bump will be small around then so it’ll be easy to hide with clothes.”

“It’s like after four months or… something… that you’ll show?” She thought hard for a moment, but came out unsure.

“Yeah…”

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” You lit up to enforce it. “Today’s appointment was good. Everything is still good. It seems like it’s on track, but there’s this undercurrent of nerves everyone has. Stress is bad so I’m trying not to let it get to me, but I can tell from the very few people who know that it’s a scary thing and they’re all acting the same way. Like we all hung up a safety net, but we’re pretending it’s not there for the tightrope walk.”

“All those months of you trying.”

You drank your smoothie.

“You finally nailed it and now this…? Sucks.”

“Exactly.”

She huffed and for a few minutes you slurped in silence.

“It’s… kind of nice to have a not like legally invested party know…”

Coral snorted.

“Like Spencer knows, for the whole ‘government take down’ thing and my doctor. That’s it.”

“And Shrek.”

You blew an unintentional raspberry and tried not to spray green flecks. “Shrek!?”

“Shrek fucked.”

“Stop!”

“He did! Had three kids! Wait, was it just three…?”

You pushed the table into her.

She started to shove it back, but realized the angle would hit your stomach and stopped. “Oh.”

“Please don’t. I’m not that fragile.”

“You were weird in line.”

Your teeth flashed.

“Yeah.” Her lids fluttered. “I change my mind. You were super suss and if it wasn’t already obvious, I would have figured it out then.”

“I need to be careful with the others.” You decided and ruminated on how.

Coral let a beat of silence go by before she tepidly asked, “There’s a pic then, right? If you’re doing weekly check-ups?”

You made a little excited noise and dove for your phone.

She was around the table in an instant and touted a strange accent. “I would like to see the baby.” 

“This is eight and this is nine.” You flipped between the two pictures.

“It’s a bean!” She cooed.

“Kidney bean! That’s what the doctor said.”

“I love how they’re creatures like this. Way cuter than when they come out.”

You laughed.

“With those bug eyes and gooey bodies!” She teased.

“Obviously better when they’re grey blobs.”

“I always thought grey aliens were cute.”

“You’re insane.”

“You hang out with me.”

“Clearly speaks to me. What if I’m taking pity on you?”

“Yeah, right.” She rolled her eyes. “Let’s walk.”

You followed her out and totted your smoothies as you wandered leisurely.

“Is it gonna be green?”

“Hm?” You hummed around your straw.

“The baby.”

“I’m not sure.”

She grumbled lightly. “I guess you wouldn’t know much at this point.”

“It seems like it's growing a carapace.”

“What’s that in English?”

You shot her a dry look.

“I don’t know!”

“A turtle shell.” You threw a thumb toward your back.

She made a horrified face.

“What?!”

“How are you gonna squeeze that out!?”

You gave a small yell. “Thank you! Donnie’s species is called spiny too!”

“Is he sharp…?”

“Not really. His shell is kind of… bumpy? Leathery…?”

“Lame.”

“He should be-!” You cut yourself off and scowled. “It’s a whole thing, but not your business.”

“So he should be sharp?”

“Maybe?” You gave her an honest glance.

“Weird mutant stuff.”

“Don’t be rude.”

“I’m not! Mutants are fine, but they’re also weird! They don’t follow human or animal rules. They’re their own thing! Like that Hippo guy!”

“True…” You hadn’t seen Hypno in a while and wondered how he was doing.

“Are the others spikey?”

“Not that I’ve seen… Wait, no. Raph is very spiky.”

“That’s the one Shrek gets along with?”

“Call him something else!”

“Shrek fucks!”

“Stop saying that!”

Coral laughed so hard she had to stumble against a planter to catch her breath.

“You just had to figure it out.” You grouched.

“Aw come on, I’m gonna throw you a great baby shower.”

You startled and tried to hide the reaction away.

She gave a vowel of understanding. “That’s too far ahead to plan.”

“We can plan…” You spoke softly. “If we want. Buy clothes and everything, but there’s always a chance…?”

She stepped in front of you and looked at you clearly. “It’s scary.”

“Yeah.” You gave her an exhausted look.

“You want to live it up. You were both going through it and now you’re in this waiting pattern.”

“Sure.”

“Should we… not talk about it?”

“No!” You reached out to her unconsciously.

She looked over your hand and gave you a high five.

You chuffed.

She smiled.

“I want to talk about it. Especially with someone outside the group. I want to… get excited. I do want you to throw me a baby shower. I want to play the stupid games, but maybe not the shitty diaper one. I want to pick out colors… I want… I want to tell everyone and celebrate.”

She bumped you as she saddled up to her side. “Let’s pretend.”

“Pretend what?”

“That we aren’t talking about your seed and something else.”

You studied her.

“How’s your son?”

You blinked a few times. “Shelly?”

“Yeah. How’s he taking it? He’s gotta know with his creepy cameras.”

“He’s not creepy.” You rolled your eyes.

“He’s a little creepy.”

“He’s not great with boundaries.” You offered.

“Creepy.” She grinned.

You shook your head. “He’s listening and takes full offense.”

Your tech gauntlet buzzed twice.

“You’re too old, dude.” Coral leaned down to tell your wrist. “You gotta leave the nest!” 

It buzzed happily in response.

“What’s that mean?” Coral was still hunched and lifted her head up to you.

“It means he’s excited.”

“Weirdo.” She mused. “Well?”

“He’s excited.” You repeated with a different cadence. “He’s gonna be a good big brother.”

“For sure. He’s going to totally walk them to school and then change their grades before pops finds out.”

“Don’t give him ideas.” You scolded your arm.

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. was curiously silent.

You groaned knowing that meant he was already forming plans.

“If he had a color thing going, what would he have?” Coral asked suddenly.

“Hm?” You watched her straighten up and drink her cup dry.

She waited and shook her container to get a little more.

“Oh, you mean how Donnie has his purple mask? I guess Shelly would be purple too…” You thought. “A hot version like fuschia?”

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. gave one loud buzz.

“Translate.” Coral said instead of asking.

“He likes that.”

“What’s another?” She had a knowing look on her face.

A small thrill went up your spine, but you turned away to not give it too much time. “We can’t pick for them. They should decide for themselves.”

“Who?”

“No one.” You shot her a look.

She had a lazy smile plastered sideways on her face.

“Something light?” You whispered shyly.

“Lilac?” She similarly lowered her volume.

A picture of a baby wrapped up in soft lavender appeared in your mind’s eye and you tried not to overly gush.

“A nice wine color.” She offered.

Your image shifted to a toddler bumbling around with an eggplant colored blanket.

You thread your arm through Coral’s and snuffed out your excitement with a whine.

She leaned into you.

“It’ll go good. Whatever you pick. Your family photos will make me want to gag.”

“Matching sweater Christmas cards.”

“Ugh, I’m nauseous.”

“We’ve never done it, but Donnie would love coordinating outfits.”

“He would.” Coral opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out.

You squeezed her. “More? Listen to me drone on about all of it?”

“What are crazies for?”

You looked at her. “I’m sorry for insinuating you were like your mom.”

“Thank you!” She huffed and pulled you to keep walking. “Drink your smoothie. We’re signing up for Pilates.”

“What?!”

“Yup! It helps to do it with a buddy. That was always my plan! I lied about the dessert thing!”

You stumbled in Coral’s locked limb. “I d-don’t understand!” 

“An exercise class! I was tricking you into going to one with me!” 

“The smoothies…!?” You didn’t quite follow her logic. 

“I’m… I don’t know! I’m trying to eat better or… something…”

You looked over her shape for a moment and felt suspicions douse you. “Wait, I know this. Okay, who is it? Who do you want to look hot for?”

“I’m already hot.” She grouched.

“Coral.”

“I don’t know! No one! I’m fine!” She veered down a street. “Your stupid gym is this way, right?”

It was and you were a little miffed that you hadn’t realized how close you were to it sooner. 

She huffed as she led. 

“Who's’ even around you? The only people who can stand you are our friends!” 

“Shut up!” She sneered. 

“And that’s not even long term!” You continued your tease. “The only people who have survived that are me and Nels!”

Her sudden silence was deafening. 

“Nelson.” 

Her eyes grew fearfully wide. 

“Ew, it’s Nelson!”

“It’s not!” She hissed and rounded on you.

“You’ve been living together for a while! Did something happen!?”

“What colors are you painting a room that just so happens to house babies!?”

“There’s no plans to paint. If there was a crib, which there isn’t, it would theoretically go in a corner of a bedroom that’s totally not mine. We only plan to move when whoever grows some. We’re not getting a house unless it’s a sure thing and it’s been years, Coral!”

“Exactly and he was with what’s her face for like 8 months.”

“Uh… Susan… or something like that.”

Coral stopped to drum up suspense before she snarled, “Susan!”

You nodded ferociously in time.

Together you moved in your hatred of this random woman you had never met.

“He got into health stuff after the breakup.”

“He always picks up something to cope.” You knew his track record.

“Blue bitch goes to your gym, doesn’t he?”

“I guess? I haven’t seen him in forever.”

Coral hummed.

“What are you thinking now?!”

“Nothing.” She sang her dismissal.

You ruminated over how she probably had about as many suspicious cues as you. “Please!”

“He’s into that stuff! Maybe I should ask him! I don’t know!”

“Coral!”

“Coulda fucked him at your wedding, but I was good.”

“You were with Nelson the whole time, what the fuck are you talking about?!” Nerves had you clucking.

“We danced once.” She shrugged.

“I can’t believe I have to string these words together, but please do not fuck Leo so you can get back at Nels!!”

She reached the door of your gym and turned to you with an all too obvious grin.

You chased her for the game of it, but you knew the truth.

She wouldn’t, but admitting that sort of thing was an insecurity.

You met her at the desk, thankfully scanned the gym to see there was no offensive slider around and you both signed up for weekly classes. Throughout it all Coral soothed, and after passing off a card to pay, you were back on the street.

“It’s okay to be hung up on him.” You tried as gently as you could.

“Fuck off.” She had no heat to her.

You hugged her side.

She grumbled a soft, “Gross.”

You also felt her hug back.

You kept it short and pulled her. “You’ll have to tell him. He’s too oblivious to figure it out even if you walked into his room naked.”

“One towel slip! One time!” She went on clear offense.

You snickered once before laughing. “You are so bad at this!”

“Hey! Look at your track record!”

You waved your ring in her face.

“You just had to simp for a psycho to get that.” She slapped your hand away.

“It worked out.”

“Yeah… After how long? How much?” She gestured over you before pausing. “How… are all your injuries?”

You immediately tucked an arm across your torso to hold one of the scars on your chest where feeling had never quite returned. “They won’t get in the way with the baby. Might be hard on my leg with the extra weight, but we’ll see…”

“Good…” She doted lightly before sighing. “I’ll talk to him.”

“That’s fast.” You bobbed to attention, but kept holding yourself. “I usually have to nag you for at least five days.” 

“Three months.” She spoke your curse.

“Bullshit!”

“I don’t want to be some rebound. Three months and we’ll both come clean.”

You stared at her.

She was obviously determined.

She was equally concerned.

It was scary.

You knew that well.

You held out your hand to shake.

She took your hand in a firm grip.

It was one solid agreement and you were released for reality.

“You’ll never last in Pilates.”

“I could!” Coral huffed. “You’re lucky you got knocked up! I was gonna make you do Zumba! But no!” 

“You could? Will you though? And what was your plan there anyway? Smoothies are like the worst thing to butter someone up with!”

“I can’t decide if that makes me want to quit early or shove it in your face when I beat you at it.”

“How do you beat someone at Pilates?!” You chortled.

“It’s way easier than beating someone at Zumba!” 

She regaled you in a bunch of fake ways to cheat some imaginary system and you finished your drink.

(Check out behind the scenes for this fic and more on my Patreon. You can follow me there, here, or the tag #softspotfic for updates)

This has week has been a year. Shout you to my dearest betas @tmntxthings and @thepinkpanther83

[plaidpajamallama]

(You scared me ) RHEA RIPLEY X JEY USO

Chapter 13

________________________________________________

Rhea was lying in a hospital bed when she went to NXT to welcome Zaria and the other women.

As she was leaving, Liv and Raquel had jumped her with baseball bats.

She was beaten pretty badly; she had fractured her right orbital socket, which means she was going to be out for a while.

She didn’t know when she would be able to get back in the ring.

Her body hurt like hell. She was just trying to say hello, and she just jumped and put out the game.

God, she was so done with Liv she can’t wait to get her back.

She heard some noise coming from down the hall.

She tried to see what it was but couldn’t.

It got louder. She could hear someone yelling

It got closer, and that went. She realized she knew who it was; it was Jey.

She sat up looking; she could see him and some doctor or something arguing.

She waved her hands to get his attention.

She saw Damien pop up behind Jey talking to the doctor.

She waved some more, getting Damien's attention.

He pointed at her through the window, talking to the doctor.

The doctor walks in her room with both of them behind her. I’m sorry to bother you, ma'am, but do you know these men?

Yes, I do, thank you.

Okay, I’ll leave you all be. She turned around, walking away.

They both walked in her room. Jey immediately gave her a hug. You okay? We came as soon as we could.

Yeah, I’m okay. I have a fractured right orbital socket, so I’ll be out for a while. Her face soured.

Damien came to the other side of her bed.

Don’t worry about all that; just worry about getting better.

Yes, exactly; just get better. Jey chimed in

She signed. I know it just stinks.

It’s going to be alright. You're going to get better and come back stronger and show them what’s up. Jey grabbed her hand.

Damian sat down on the edge of her bed.

How did your match with Dom go?

He sucked his teeth; he won, but I beat the shit out of him after we have fatal four-way next week.

Alright, did everything go well with your brother?

Rhea Don’t worry about us; we’re good. You got to focus on you. When did the doctors say you could get out of here?

I can leave tomorrow.

Damian stood up. Ok, I’ll go tell the doctor we’re going to stay with you.

Oh yeah, thanks, Uce.

You don’t have to do that, Jey.

I know I’m going to do it, baby. We care about you. We just wanted to make sure you're okay.

Ok, thank you, baby. She gave him a kiss on the cheek.

__________________________________________________

Rhea and Damian were in Saudi Arabia in her hotel room watching Crown Jewel.

Watching Jey’s matches always made her stressed; it didn’t help he was fighting the new bloodline either; she knew Jey still didn’t fully trust Roman; he was helping them this one time, and then he was done.

There was something; it started off pretty well until Roman wanted Jey to tag him, then it all started falling apart.

Solo ended up pinning Roman, then Sami came out trying to help, which didn’t go so well.

She turned it off before Liv and Nia match; she didn’t want to see that.

Damian turned to her. You okay?

Yeah, it just that could be me. I could be out there right now because the first woman’s Crown Jewel Champion, but here I am sitting in my hotel room, not even on the damn match card!

Hey! You get your title back, and you become the woman’s Crown Jewel Champion because you're the best of the best. You don’t need a title to tell you that Rhea

I know I’m the best, but I have nothing to show for it!

Rhea She cut him off. No, all you're going to say is that it’s fine and I’ll get my title back! She stood up, pacing back and forth.

Well, I’m not fine; I'm hurt; I’m out for who knows how long! And when I do get back, you know what Liv is going to do?

She’s going to fucking run like she always does; she's going to go to Raquel or Dom, and I’m going to lose like always! She yelled

Your right It’s always the same shit over and over, so what are you going to do about it?

She looked at him, rolling her eyes. I don’t fucking know!

Well, you need to figure it out; then you can’t be a champion if you don’t try!

She sucked her teeth. Fuck you!

They were both yelling at each other, arguing.

They argued for a while before Damian left, slamming the door.

She scoffed, shaking her head. She sat down, back on the bed.

It has been a couple hours since she was watching TV when she heard the door lock click.

Jey walked in, setting his bag on the ground. Hey baby, how’s your day been?

It has been alright. I watched your match; you did great.

Mmm, I bet Roman would disagree. He walked over, lying down, putting his head in her lap.

She put her hands in his hair. What are you going to do about Sami?

Shit, I don’t know Jimmy is trying to fight; he’s pissed Roman upset too.

Ok, how do you feel about it? She said as she played with his hair.

I mean, Sami, my dog, he’s family. I’ll always bat for him. I’ll talk to him Monday about what’s up.

Did your brother and Roman leave?

I know Roman left for sure. One thing he’s going to do is get on his jet. Jimmy is probably still here.

Her phone buzzed. She looked at it, seeing it was Damian. She rolled her eyes.

What’s up, baby?

Nothing I’m fine

He sat up, Rhea. What’s going on?

Nothing; I just got into an argument with Damian.

About what?

About Liv being the Crown Jewel Champion about her making history, and I’m here doing nothing.

She brought her knees to her chest.

Rhea You're going to get your title back and that new title shit. You could win all the titles if you wanted to. Don’t let Liv get in your head.

But what if I can't? What if she’s right? She laid her head on her knees.

She’s not! Don’t believe what she says; she is just trying to get in your head and mess with you.

Rhea He tilted her head up so she was looking at him. Rhea baby, I’m serious, you're the best in the world. No one does what you do.

Don’t let anybody tell you you're not, and if they don’t believe you, then show them why Mami is always on top.

She grabbed his hand. Thank you.

You never have to thank me. He gave her a kiss.

I can’t leave knowing your sad.

Uhh, why do you have to leave again? You just got back.

I know I hate leaving you too, but the UK is going yet to plus imagine what’s going to happen when I get back, he grinned.

Oh well, then maybe it won’t be so bad, but what about while you are gone? What am I supposed to do then? She said, moving closer to him.

Mmh, maybe I’ll just have to leave you with something before I go, he said, grabbing her hip and pulling her into his lap.

Mmh, I do love getting gifts, baby.

I’ll bring you back something he said before kissing her.

You better She giggled before kissing him again.

________________________________________________

Roman gonna get Sami on Friday 🖤

[louisisalarrie]

Hey how are u? I really like your point of view so I want to ask you few things that my brain frequently think about.

I’m pretty sure that sooner or later bbg will be unmasked, so how they will handle this? They created Louis’ public image around this baby. They painted him like the perfect father who obv love a lot his child.

I think that the shitstorm where his fans will throw him in will be bigger than everything. You know what I mean his solo fans paint him like the most loyal person in the world who trust his fans a lot and would never betray them. So I’m quite sure that they will start to throw shit on him, plus they’re so obsessed over this poor baby and I see a lot of them saying that if louis is not the father they will leave him cause he is just a gross person who lies to fans.

So, how will they managed it without throw him into a very big shitstorm? Plus when it will happen definitely all will be connect to the Larry situation so: when they do it, will he do also a coming out?

I don’t see it happen without a coming out, because the speculation would be so much bigger than ever and everyone would start saying that Larries were right since the beginning and that he’s a horrible person using a child…

I don’t know I don’t see a easy happy ending :(

okie dokie anon, im gonna answer this in the best way I know how, and tag it a little differently to usual so everyone knows where to find my theories on how they’re gonna end bbg/what’s the best way to end it without ruining louis’ career. anon, welcome to the show sweetcheeks!

After the absolute shit show of a smear campaign that was pushed onto Louis in 2015, of clubbing and being a gross fuckboy taking a million girls home every night, they had to repair said image when they decided this kid was actually gonna be born (in my theory it was Belfast) because to continue on with fuckboy louis when he has a child on the way further down the pregnancy/child is born, it would’ve looked even more fucking worse for one d’s demographic and louis’ image would be irreparable. His image has always hung off family values and long term relationships too, so it’s not super crazy to think “oh, louis has had his fun and now it’s serious he’s gonna buckle down and be a great dad because of his upbringing/family values and he’s a wonderful guy” etc, ya know? Plus the vast majority of one d fans at the time were Larries, we saw through the bullshit and we saw this behaviour wasn’t louis. Mgmt were like “ok if we’re actually gonna see this through, if there’s actually gonna be a child in the picture, he’s gonna have to be a present and loving dad”. It just would’ve been too off brand for him to not be. Hell, the whole fuckboy Louis thing was off brand for him, but they started that, and then had to fucking fix it because an actual child was gonna be born into this mess.

Anyway so louis’ buzzing (looks like he’d rather set himself on fire) and we get heaps of baby content on Insta/from B and her clan etc to really bring it home that louis cares about this kid. This kid is his life and he will do everything he can to be there for it because he’s a good guy (which like… it this was real, they would’ve covered up this baby real quick and silenced the mother and that’s the biggest fucking fault they made in my opinion, shit makes no sense). So yeah, fake baby, happy dad, family values. Cool, alright let’s go.

You are very correct in saying they’ve made louis being a dad a major element in his image. He’s pretty private otherwise, but boy does he love this kid! Which if we base this on how it was meant to end in 2016 with a DNA test so he’d be out free, which didn’t happen for a few reasons, the kid is now older and a paternity test should’ve been taken far earlier and louis’ trying to figure out himself in a solo career and working hard on music and it’s all too much. Not to mention he signed his fucking rights away to SC and still had to deal with this all. But I digress. They didn’t end bbg then, and he didn’t want such a scandal to hinder the beginning of his career because that’s what he’d be known for when starting out as a solo artist. “Oh did you hear about that dude from one direction? His kid isn’t actually his! Holy shit!” would just be on repeat anywhere and everywhere and something like that doesn’t really die down that quick in the media. It just would’ve jumped him off the wrong way after dealing with the heartbreak of his mum passing etc., so things are a little chaotic for him to deal with that as well. (Then the bbg contract gets amended and SC gives him publicity with the X Factor etc, but I won’t get into the contracts side of it right now).

Cool cool cool. So. He’s gonna look like a shit dude for chucking this baby in the spotlight if he’s known for ages. Everyone’s gonna hate him for lying to them. He’s gonna lose his fans. He’s not gonna be able to promo himself for a while because he’ll be “devastated”. Now, let’s have a look at how this can end with fan and GP sympathy on his side, and how they can spin this in a good way.

Now, hear me out.

We’ve talked about a few ways, but the best way to dig him out of this shit show, is simply to go down the paternity route. It just is.

Situation 1: louis and b go to court over F. this works perfectly in his current no music or tour timeframe. It keeps him relevant in the papers while he’s off, and also gives him the excuse to grieve or whatever. This is 100% the best way to do it but it drags it out so long.

- Louis, who is now on break, wants to spend more time with his beloved son little lad, and wants to take him away from B for a while to live in the UK with him and his family for an extended holiday/spend some quality time. B is withholding his son from him and he isn’t allowed to be with him for extended periods of time because B doesn’t like his lifestyle (partying, smoking, etc.)

Or

- maybe B decides Louis’ doing really well in his career so she wants more child support money. He’s getting older, more expensive, and this was all louis’ doing. He took B home, he’s also a multi millionaire, he should be paying way more than what he is!

- maybe B gets married or a long term serious boyfriend and he wants to adopt F because louis’ lifestyle doesn’t allow him to be present as much as he wants to.

Or something else ridiculous that they go to court over. In this theory, they need to go to court 100%.

So, they’re in court over whatever, and B goes “hey well I was actually sleeping with someone else around that time too, I want a paternity test” (because she never pushed for one because she saw $$$) and louis takes one and BAM, he’s actually not F’s father. Holy shit.

So why did a multimillionaire famous boyband member in his early 20’s who was clearly loving partying not demand a paternity test early one? Well, he never bothered to ask because he trusted B. They’d actually been seeing each other for longer than initially thought (like some articles mentioned back in the day LOL) but didn’t want to introduce her to the public because he knows 1d fans would eat her alive and the whole Larry thing etc., so he trusts her. He’s also just a really good dude, sees the best in everyone, trusted her and copped it on the chin and said well yeah… im gonna help raise this dude because I’ve always wanted a son and I have big family values and I fucked up. I’m mature. I’m a good example of what women should look for in a man.

So then shit… the fans and GP find out and he cops the public sympathy and everyone feels sorry for him. This is heartbreaking, he loves that kid so much and now he’s found out he’s not really his dad. The fans are devastated, the GP goes “well it’s stupid he didn’t get one earlier on but this is still really awful for him, poor guy. He’s too nice for his own good, and he was just a kid. Maybe he didn’t think about it. He’s so brave to say this. Heart on his sleeve” etc etc like it’s really not hard to make the GP and fans feel bad for you, even tho some folks may think he was an idiot for not getting one earlier on (which like.. that’s how it was meant to end but it was extended), everyone who’s scrutinised bbg has thought the same at some point. So, anyway, you see what I mean here? This situation ends with him looking like just a silly loving trusting guy, with a big heart. Solos will eat that shit up. I promise you. Anyway, F fades into the background and we don’t see any more content of him. He just… disappears. No one’s gonna question that. F isn’t his son, and he wants to give the kid and B privacy now. A classic example of being a good guy.

So like, this situation also upholds the idea that he’s straight. He’s had sex with a woman, it’s just this kid isn’t his. Anyway, sorted, case closed and we alll eventually move on. It does drag it out but my god does it truly spin some sympathy for him. But if he wants it over and done with quick, this wouldn’t be the way.

Situation 2: louis has known for a while, but him and B are really good friends so he’s helped raise F and helped with funds because the dad left and he wanted to be there for the kid. This brings out the lying factor though, but he truly does feel like a dad!!! He knows what it’s like to not have a father figure there, he wants to give the kid a good life, he’s taken on the role of his dad and he has the money to support B and F, so why wouldn’t he? You know, he has family values. So yeah, he wasn’t lying out of hate, and F knew all along he wasn’t his real dad either, but he gave this kid a great life. Anyway, B gets married or whatever, louis goes “im still gonna be there for F but I trust this guy and he loves F and my career is taking off even further and I can’t be there for him all the time and this guy really wants to be a dad, I’ll step back”. This also works well in terms of good guy louis, and he loves F so much. Public and fan sympathy, a little anger towards the lying but truly he’s just did what he could. He helped B out and now F has a strong and fantastic father figure in his life. Sorted, done. This can be done through an Insta live or a post of him and F explaining stuff, and F fades from the picture. Still upholds the sex with women, but he did get a paternity test ages ago, he’s just a good guy. Anyway, that also works.

You also have a spin on the above situation too though, to make it easier for a coming out. Louis and B never had sex. He’s just a long term good friend of hers and took on that role. He’s always been gay/he never fucked her. Having this onto it, really leaves it a bit more open ended. This is really the only kind of solution to say “hey I’ve been with Harry this whole time and bbg wasn’t a stunt” ya know? Still believable, a bit more murky, but if done well it ends it quicker than a court case. Still looks good for him. Plus, he can say how long he was with Harry and that they wanted to keep their relationship private because they were nervous to come out and yeah. Cool. That’s also done.

The fans might be angry about that one, but it still swings it well. I don’t think they’re gonna hate him. He might lose a few but… yeah. He’s always gonna when he comes out anyway. Yeah. The above is two birds one stone.

Situation 3: it was all a stunt. they just reveal absolutely everything. That’s it.

He’ll lose the most fans by doing this, but also… he’ll gain a lot of public sympathy. Whatever way they end bbg, he will be on the side of public and fan sympathy. He’s always gonna end up with some kind of hate when coming out, but so will Harry. It just… is what it is. Harry’s process has just been a lot smoother without a kid tied to him. But with the screaming of how shit the music industry is to artists, this will call a lot of attention to it all. Might actually make a change. But again, the hardest.

Now the thing with all of the above, right, no matter which way they take it, is that bisexuality exists. Also, sexuality can be fluid, so maybe he didnt figure out he was into dudes until later on in life and him and Harry reunited and it just kind of happened. He had to navigate queerness in a space of homophobia. He felt fucking lost as hell, and Harry helped him. Also public and fan sympathy, also works. Doesn’t put them from the beginning though, like situation 2 and 3 could, but yeah. The current conversation about queerness and how things can change is important and big right now. People would understand.

Both Harry and louis (more so louis) will and should expect fan and public hatred for lying and queerness. But it’s just something they’ll have to cop. They come out, go into hiding for a bit, and then put out a statement and they’re just gonna have to expect some hate. Hell, Harry already gets hate for queerbaiting. It just always will be affected.

To your last point, about using a kid, if they unravel everything then they’ll just shove that blame on SC etc, they had no choice! For the other situations, it may be a little scrutinised but yeah. He’s either silly and too trusting in situation 1, or does see F as his kid and is proud of him in situation 2. Those situations above are how I see a smoother end to bbg. They’re kind of the only way I see it ending. So, SC/marketing gods, if you’re watching, or if this is you, consider one of the above please and let’s end it fucking now.

So there you have it. These situations might seem stupid, but he comes out of it the most unscathed (except option 3 but again, sympathy from fans and public about being controlled like puppets). And I think in all those cases a coming out will happen shortly after, they kind of go hand in hand. But also they might let it die down for a while before announcing anything, but yeah. Speculation is gonna happen. They can’t escape everything.

Any questions or if anything doesn’t make sense because I haven’t had a coffee yet, let me knowwwwwww

Thanks for coming to the show!

[aficionadoenthusiast]

adding some more cause everything is shit rn

pjo

all canon ships + valgrace i believe

Hot People Eat at Dairy Queen by itsmrlol; T; 84k; i read a lot of chat fics so i cannot remember if this is the one that had me pissing myself laughing or if it's just average funny but either way it's funny

[us🤝being literal gods] [Sparky re-named the group "nico is a gay disaster; send help"] 12:36am Ghostboy: i beg ur pardon???? Nutella: SPEAK ON IT‼️‼️‼️

mist you already by starrey_night; T, 1-10k; social media/chat fic; fucking hilarious

After the Mist mysteriously disappears, the world of Greek mythology is exposed, and the response is … just as you expected. A story told through social media

Baby Blofis College Fund by zipadeea; T; 3k; hilarious and made me feel very connected to Sally

Valerie calls her an hour later. “Sally, what the hell?” “That bad, huh?” “Bad? Sally, it’s gold. I went from squirming in my seat to crying genuine tears. And that twist, making him a Greek god, it’s exactly what we’re looking for right now. How soon can you get me the next chapter?” *** In which Sally Jackson realizes by the time the new baby is eighteen, a semester of college will cost an arm and a leg. And those Fifty Shades of Grey books sure did make a lot of money.

percy jackson and the scrutiny of his coworkers by pqrker; G; 6k; nosy mortals is such an old but fun trope in this fandom, and this one does it really well

Jim turned back to the tank and looked at Marcie the seal, who was now staring at the spot his coworker had been standing just moments before with that same strange look of reverence in her eyes. Percy Jackson truly was the oddest person Jim Elpool had ever worked with. or 5 times percy's coworkers were confounded by his fish magic, plus 1 time they try to figure it out

Daddy Issues Inc by Librarian_Alexandria; T; 10k; THIS ONE! IS THE ONE THAT WAS SO FUNNY! YAY!

Piper changes the GC name to Daddy Issues Inc, which has little to no influence over anything, and what follows is completely unrelated. Jason introduces his fellow university freshmen to his boarding school friends, also attending Olympus University, throwing Reyna and Piper, equally oblivious and disastrous, together. but not like, together-together yet anyway its a texting fic about our favs at uni and they're chaotic and this was fun to write

mcu

Tony Stark: Appliance Whisperer by Alex51324; Avengers; T; 12k; Tony just has a way with electronics

After Tony over-reacts to some SHIELD agents breaking a microwave oven, Steve begins to wonder if there's something the team should know.

you're my cherry pie by novembersmith; Venom; E; 12k; Venom learns about human reproduction and sex. There is a powerpoint presentation.

The first time Eddie suggests they have sex, Venom is, more than anything, extremely confused.

Operation Cat Whisperer by cookies5098; Spider-man; G; 5k; poor Peter is terrorized by cats. (not as heavy on the irondad trope as the summary and tags make it sound)

Peter and the cats of New York have an understanding: he helps them down from trees and tall buildings, and in return, they ignore his spider-like traits that trigger their hunter instincts. So, he honestly thinks he'll be fine when visiting Greece, one of the stray cat capitals of the world. But he's wrong. He's so fucking wrong. Feat. Peter being a walking catastrophe—thank goodness for MJ and Ned—Morgan being a juice pops fiend, and Tony being a good dad to them both.

How To Pay For Rent 💸 by fictionfeast; poolverine; E; 42k; i've read so many poolverine fics since dp&w came out, and i can confirm, this is one of the good ones

To pay for rent, Logan and Wade take odd jobs on Craigslist.

teenage wasteland by swirlees; Spider-Man; T; 10k; the AcaDec team fucking with the FBI

He doesn't set out to be a terrorist. It just...happens. And he's not even really a terrorist. He totally recognizes that it's his fault the Chitauri core ends up on the Washington Monument, but he's not trying to cause terror, ergo, not a terrorist. Just, an accident-ist. In which Spider-Man's journey into superhero-ship leads him to the accidental terrorism that sometimes comes with it, and (if you asked him) the A+ recovery he makes, featuring big brother Deadpool, an absolutely fed up group of FBI goons, mildly entertained Daredevil and Mr. Nelson, and a weirdly very supportive, kind of terrifying GenZ AcaDec crew.

Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail by MusingsOnBuckyBarnes, owlet; stucky and other avengers; M; 100-300k; I believe this one is pretty famous in the stucky and mcu fandoms, but in case you haven't read it, read it. it's hilarious, angsty, and amazing. steve and bucky's characterizations are great. this is probably the best bucky recovery fic i've read.

The mission resets abruptly, from objective: kill to objective: protect.

trc

Sold by flightspath; pynch; E; 7.5k; idk what to say for this. the summary speaks for itself

"Eight thousand," Ronan announced. Professor Kellogg laughed unkindly. "Young man, it seems you’re confused. You’ve only re-drawn the paddle number." "Whatever, that's my bid. Eight thousand.” Another wave of whispers and gasps rippled through the room. “I'm a mechanical engineering enthusiast." He turned to address his tablemates. "But a high school dropout,” he added in a stage whisper, as if they’d asked, “so I need a tutor." He looked back up at Professor Kellogg. "I’m stupid but rich, basically.” --- In which a date with Adam is up for auction, and things go from bad to Pynch real quick

cluck cluck, motherf- by andrealyn; minor pynch; T; 3k; great look at adam and declan's relationship

What's worse than getting sick while your significant other is away? Getting sick when your stubborn future in-law is home at the Barns with you and won't admit that they're sick too. Is stubborn pride worth suffering in silence and refusing to admit that you're worse for the wear? If it means losing a game of sick chicken, then for both Adam and Declan, it is.

Surfin' On A Sound Wave, Swingin' Through The Stars by clotpolesonly; bluesey & pynch; T; 2k; I just reread this and cried

Ronan kicked the tires of a rusty Buick and turned to look Gansey up and down. “What are you supposed to be, anyway? An aspiring yacht captain who misplaced his yacht?” Gansey leveled him with an unimpressed look. “These are just my regular clothes and you know it.” He ignored Ronan’s unrepentant sniggering in favor of checking Blue’s text again. “Jane said she has a couple’s costume planned for us but wouldn’t tell me what it is, only that I should just come to the party in my favorite outfit.” “Maybe she’ll be in bright-ass green and you can be highlighters together.” “Ha very ha.

JessJesstheBest also has very funny trc fics

hi! i also love comedy! any chance we could get some more funny fic recs?

yes, absolutely!

pjo

sorry, don't have a ton of these, I tend to read more serious fics for this fandom

keeping it fruity by buoyantsaturn; valgrace, T, 4k; Leo is both so relatable and so silly, I love it

Leo huffed. “Sorry, I just don’t think I can support such senseless violence,” he grumbled, knowing that all of the excuses he and Nico had come up with over the last few years would be useless by that point. “What is a sport, really, if not an excuse to beat some stranger to a pulp?”

sex education by CordeliaRose; solangelo, E & M, 5-20k; I'm not normally a fan of smut, so if this one got me to read smut, you know it's good

Percy tries to give Nico a sex talk. It goes about as well as anyone could have predicted.

marvel

shelter order by deniigiq; team red, G, 46k; team red quarantine group chat fic, need I say more?

Little Spidey (Pink): Hello Twitter. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Spiderman has decided that we should share with you all our private chat. We will be doing so on the condition that y’all remain cool about it. You gonna be cool? (Peter decides to raise spirits of those in isolation by sharing parts of the Team Red chat online day by day.)

Fishing Isn’t Fair to the Fish by NezumiPi; defenders, T, 17k; I was not expecting this one to have so much humor. or an exorcism.

Spoilers for Defenders S1 and prior individual shows. In a magnificent display of poor judgment, Luke Cage invites the Defenders on an upstate fishing trip in they can get to know one another better and perhaps smooth over some minor interpersonal conflicts. Contains (in no particular order): Minor interpersonal conflicts, major interpersonal conflicts, moderate impersonal conflicts, Danny Rand’s undergarments, porn for the blind, misuse of pharmaceuticals, talking swans, occasional fishing, and some seriously unpleasant business.

Mr. Stark's Home for Idiot Teenagers by OffToNewPastures; Iron family, T, 98k; tbh it's been so long since I read this one that I don't remember what it's about, but I have it marked as funny, so here you go

Peter is there, slumped over the kitchen island, slowly cramming spoonfuls of Double Chocolate Cookie Crisp into his mouth, hair tousled and sticking up every which way, and Tony realizes with sudden clarity that he’s fighting a losing battle. Maybe not today, maybe he can put it off for a while, but someday he’s just going to have to give up and love this ridiculous kid. - In which Tony Stark learns object lessons about love, sacrifice, death, friendship, and parenthood; and makes his peace with the unfortunate reality that his penthouse will be crawling with asshole teenagers every weekend for the foreseeable future. Follows canon...loosely. Ahem.

Chaotic Peter by Isnt_it_pretty_to_think_so; Iron family, T, 15-20k; this one is hilarious and painful and gripping and so so beautiful, and it has a logical path to the Iron family trope that doesn't make me cringe. I stayed up to 5 am on a weekday reading it. No regrets. (My note on ao3: "Reread first story to laugh until you cry, reread second part to feel something," if anyone was doubting how I feel about this fic.)

"Is there a reason you're calling this late at night?" Tony asks, worried in spite of himself. "Tell me what's going on, kid." “Everything is one-hundred-percent fine,” Peter says. “Seriously, I've never been better. But I should let you know I have about thirty bricks of cocaine in my bedroom. Also, Karen won't let me turn off Instant Kill Mode. Also, Walmart discontinued my special razzleberry pink squeezy lemonade. Which isn't related to tonight's patrol, I'm just bummed about it.”  Or: The five times Instant Kill Mode is activated +1

Super Duper Side Effects by awesomesockes, whumphoarder; Avengers, T, 16k; most mcu fans probably recognize this one and know it's hilarious

The downside of an enhanced metabolism is that it renders most drugs completely ineffective. Captain America accepted this long ago as an occupational hazard. But after Peter sustains a serious injury in the line of duty and the doctors have no way to manage the pain, Steve decides to volunteer as a test subject for Bruce and Tony’s experimental super drug. However, the soldier ends up getting a little more than he bargained for. (Alternative title: Original Drug Tester: Steve Rogers)

Obligatory mention of the fic that caused this ask:

in technicolor by deniigiq; Marvel's various NYC vigilantes & Brett Mahoney, not rated (I'd give it a T), 120k; again. the observor pov gives the idea of wildlife being studied in their natural habitat, and it is so. fucking. funny.

Brett sighed and looked down at the folder in his hand. “Your name is Peter, right?” “Lawyer.” “Peter, we haven’t even started talking. Let’s just take a minute to ease up.” “Lawyer.” “Bud, we haven’t charged you with a crime. This is just talking.” “Law. Yer.” Goddamn. (Brett's encounters with Team Red/vigilantes and their weird fucking way of helping)

hp

Still Preoccupied... With 1979 by darkbluedark; drarry (+jily & wolfstar), T, 15-20k; pre drarry accidental time travel hanging onto their rivalry for convenience? hilarious.

It’s May 1979 and the Order has just apprehended a pair of mysterious wizards who look remarkably like a Potter and a Malfoy. Naturally, James Potter and Sirius Black are called in to identify the strangely familiar strangers and determine their backgrounds and loyalties. (This would be a lot easier if their captives weren’t convinced everyone they talk to is dead. It would also be easier if they didn’t spend half their bloody time bickering.)

sirius black and the "mystery girl" by tjmcharg; wolfstar, T, 29k; heteronormativity but for humor reasons

"You can't tell me who you're with?" Lily smiles at him hopefully. Sirius laughs. "Alright Evans, if you're so curious, I have a proposition for you" "We'll set up a little bet, you have until the end of the school year - so two months - to work out who I'm dating, or..." he pauses to think and with an evil smirk decides, "or you have to ask your crush out on a date."

pair of tossers with a cat by moonymoment; wolfstar, G, 10k; a cat nearly destroys them. in the middle of a war.

Something seemed to dawn on Remus then; something so obvious he couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen it before. He frowned and looked at Sirius quizzically. “What?” “Are you…” Remus began, gaping slightly, “jealous of the cat, Sirius?” Sirius looked down. “I’m not jealous of the cat.” “You’re jealous of the cat!” “I am not jealous of the bloody cat.” Remus finds a stray cat on the street and brings it in. Sirius is not impressed. Chaos ensues.

(fuck jkr. for those of you who don't know me.)

(if y'all have any especially funny fics you wanna share, i would not be opposed 👀) (especially marvel and pjo 👀👀)

[girlbob-boypants]

Anyway the reason why you shouldn't pre order Veilguard isn't because of some moral protest about the layoffs. It's because deceptive marketing and releasing unfinished products are the current standard in the AAA space and a few pieces of mediocre fashion do NOT warrant spending 60+ usd now for a game that might not even run later.

[demigod-of-the-agni]

The pishacha are manifestations of evil itself, locked within a cursed amulet. The wearer of the amulet is at the mercy of the demon, known for possessing humans and feeding off their host's chakra energy. However, if symbiosis is achieved, the pishacha can grant its host a myriad of powerful abilities.

I just needed to draw something cool okay. I needed to draw some cool goop and some cool looks okay. okay. if I didn't post this I would have exploded okay

[ender1821]

im a child of divorce

[mintedwitcher]

eh fuck it here you go for the folks who haven't already gotten my petty ass in their dms

(warning: this is not nice. you won't like this if you're celebrating the bucktommy breakup, let's put it that way. I've warned you.)

I hope buddie does go canon.

I hope its awful and awkward and OOC as all hell, unrecognisable even by fandom measure (since we all know that the fanon buddie and canon buddie are VASTLY different characters lmfao)

I hope it sucks. I hope Eddie's just as mean (if not meaner) to Buck as he is already as his "best friend". I hope Buck bitches and gets on Eddie's nerves even more than he already does. I hope they trade off shifts to avoid each other at work and home. I hope we can smell the breakup coming seventeen miles away. I hope its as bad and nasty as the grocery store fight times like, ten thousand.

I want it to be the worst fucking payoff for a seven-year-long fan campaign EVER. I want it to go down in fandom history as one of the worst payoffs ever. I want it to be unspeakable. and I want it to be unrecoverable.

and I want it to end with Buck marrying some boring pretty white woman with barely more personality than the wallpaper and no last name to play into the Nice Respectable Queer (but not Too Queer) trope and Eddie resigning himself to lifelong bachelorhood because he's still not over his dead fucking wife and never will be because God forbid that characters ever Change, right Tim?

(in all of this, Chris stays in Texas and grows up as a normal fucking kid with well-meaning and caring guardians and has a life for himself and cuts contact with Eddie permanently as soon as he turns 18 until Eddie fixes himself)

and I want every piece of this so that I can have as much fun mocking you as you've had mocking us over this episode. I want this so that I can look at your tag and laugh at you. I want this so maybe, finally, ABC will have the courage to take 911 out behind the woodshed and shoot it in the head.

I want this show to burn down. and I want to watch you all burn with it. after all the hell that you've put us through over the last year, it's what you deserve.

I have an extremely petty thing to say and I'm questioning if I should or not. dilemmas. it's definitely going to piss some people off but hey, the ones who get it, get it.

(ETA: feel like I should add the disclaimer that if you're for the other buck ship you won't like what I have to say)

[dailyloopdeloop]

loop and mirabelle. That's it that's the ask

DAY 84: enrolled in the gossip wars

[unsat-and-strange]

alright. i know the pretty much accepted fandom standard for arthur (specifically when john has his eyes) (or john in human form as well) is gold eyes. i love it! genuinely!!

hear me out.

dark eyes. darker than the black behind the stars, darker than imagining. even a prolonged inspection couldnt show where pupil meets iris, not that arthur is often still enough for that sort of thing. its the kind of darkness that things hide in, the kind that makes you feel like things are looking back. dark enough that you are prey. dark enough that you have to look away after a moment. eyes like a hole in space has been centered in the whites of them, absorbing all light. his eyes are always moving, scanning, searching, hunting? no, that cant be quite right, he speaks like a gentleman and looks far too thin to do any kind of harm. but at the same time, he is littered in scars and youve never quite seen eyes like that on any living thing before, let alone a fellow human. his eyes are so dark.

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever