#we just need to get through this night
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I can't do anxiety exercises because they make me feel more anxious - does anyone have any advice?
#probably just drugs at this point#but i probably can't work then#and i actually have to work to fix things#i don't know what to do#strangely it's mostly physical#and that's a little better at least#and i know i'll be fine once my cat is fine#we just need to get through this night#i hope she is not actually at the verge of dying#i wonder how people with ill kids bear with it#i have the urge to look it up but i won't#that would just fold this feeling
1 note
Ā·
View note
Text
Quick comfort doodles because brains being weirdly mean for some reason
#rain world#rain world downpour#doodles#artihunter#hunting spears#spearhunter#qpr (hunting spears)#rw hunter#rw artificer#rw spearmaster#rw shipping#dw iāll feel better in a bit! just getting through the weird funky feeling night#listen - spears and hunter are so queer platonic to me and artificer should shake hands with spears#āyes we both think hunter deserves the bestā but in their own ways as wlw and qpr#powerful#iā¦need to do more silly doodles with pixel pens actually#itās fun. donāt mind me-#iām also playing more of the arti campaign i have no idea where iām going even when i watched playthroughs lmfao#tbf i used them more as background noise#still think spearmaster fits my playstyle more. dual weildā¦
513 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
the difference between these two š„ŗ both??
funny story though. my roommate is still taking food but my memory is so bad when it comes to things i donāt eat myself (adhd)
when i talk to friends and family about the situation the first thing they ask is, āare you sure youāre not sleep eating?ā which is adorable. they wanna believe, even if for a second, that maybe iām not truly at fault for making myself into such a cow š„ŗ i get it bc im getting very fat even with the thievery but at the same time. im literally being gaslit
#by my roommate#every time j bring smthn up sheās like āoh??? thatās crazy??? wowā#snd sheās a bad liar but iām such a pushover bc#i have had the fridge so filled with food i look like such a pig i canāt blame her#itās FINE#but how cute. i wanna start sleep eating š„ŗ#funnel me in my sleep? make me confused as to how iām gaining so fast?#i wanna ask someone why iām having such a hard time moving around when im not eating a lot more#cuddle up to me n change the subject if i bring up how fast we ran out of heavy cream this time#<3#talk#ask#does this count for that tag?#what if my feeder gaslit me. in a cute sexy oh u cow kind of way#i swear the funnel moves after each night and i wake so full but obviously im just forgetting where we put it each day#itās getting hard to fit through the doorway#obviously iāve just been lazier than normal. no way im getting that fat#we knew iād have mobility problems but so early on? i just need to get out#itās not because heās started to pump more calories into me anyway he can
118 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
*DEEP INHALE*
fine. whateever, . any other freaks wanna see an edit of yakumo in maid outfits? here
#*PINCHES THE AREA BETWEEN MY BROWS AGAIN*#at LEAST THREE of you#THREE!!!!! AT LEAST!!#I SAY *AT LEAST* bECAUSE THERE MIGHT HVEA BEEN MORE BUT I WIPED IT FROM MY MEMORY#SENT ME THIS LINK#AT SEPARATE TIMES#i don't know how to feel about that#this post isn't even that old. what's the timestamp. Sep 27?#IT'S BEEN FOURTHREE DAYS. THE POST IS DAYS OLD#AND FOR EACH DAY#ONE OF YOU CHOSE TO THROW IT (ATTACHED TO A BRICK) THROUGH MY WINDOW#didn't even get time to repair the first smash before the second smash happened.....#curse their stupid interchangeable twink bodies#just play dress-up with all the lanky ones like slutty dolls#this is why we need more body diversity.#so i don't get jumpscared by yaku in rei's skimpy maid dress 3 nights in a row#WHERE TF DID THAT TINY SNAKE WITH THE MAIDBAND COME FROM??????? WHERE DID THE LITTLE GUY SHOW UP?#god..... the red and the pink on him.........#NO . I'M OUTTA HERE#*scoops my coconut rice off the floor and leaves*#nu carnival yakumo
56 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
*me immediately after going through a terrifying and traumatic experience* haha yeah I guess it was rough but I'm fine now like I'm totally chill. It was kinda funny actually if you think about it
#GUESS WHO GOT A PIERCING INFECTION SO BAD OVERNIGHT SHE HAD TO RUSH TO THE HOSPITAL#AND GET SURGERY TO REMOVE IT BC THE METAL WAS BURROWING ITSELF INSIDE HER LIP#yep that was meee :3#man. it sounds so silly now. like that probably shouldn't have made me panic nearly as much as it did#but you have to understand at the time it was terrifying#I noticed my lip was a bit swollen earlier in the night but I was like ok it's probably nothing serious#I put some ice on it hoping it would be back to normal after I got some sleep#then I woke up at like 5:30 AM with my lip super swollen and my lip piercing literally burying itself inside my flesh#I tried pushing it back out a bit and blood and pus started coming out so yk I started panicking#so I went upstairs and I asked my mom to drive me to the hospital#luckily we have free healthcare in brazil and the hospital was basically empty(this was on sunday)#but when I got there they told me the doctor wouldn't arrive until 8AM and it was like 6:45 at that point#so I REALLY started panicking š« bc I could feel like the piercing kept burying itself more deeply like#I felt like the skin inside my lip was going to close around it and I was terrified bc I had no idea what to do#and I was scared it might make things worse#but all I could do was sit there and wait and so I started having a panic attack#luckily my mom was there with me the whole time so at least I didn't feel alone#and then I just. waited for it to end. and then tried to keep myself distracted until the doctor got there#I got treated by military doctors! sjdjcjck the army has been giving additional support for hospitals in my city#bc of the floods some health units are currently closed and demand got higher so they needed extra support there#so an army doctor performed my surgery(inside an army tent no less ajfjjfkf maybe not ideal but. functional)#he was so nice?? like probably the calmest most careful doctor I've ever been treated by#I still had a bit of a nervous breakdown again after the surgery but that was bc I'd never been through something like that before#I got anesthesia obvs but I still felt the tug when he cut into my skin to remove the piercing and did my stitches#so my mind started cooking up all these horrible scenarios of how everything could go wrong and I was gonna die#cried on the doctor's table. šš» awesome#but he and his assistant were super nice about it she even offered me a hug#but anyway in the end I finally calmed down and got some medication#now I'm all stitched up with my little bloated lip eating soup out of a straw šš» but I'm ALIVE and I'm just glad it's all over fjjvjkf#sleep.txt
80 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
god i want. an au where it dosn't work. where it's just arr g'raha who's woken up, and he doesn't have all these memories and all these people keep looking at him like they're mourning someone. the world has changed and time has changed and all the people he knows have changed, but he hasn't changed, he was just sleeping, just sleeping, and the world nearly ended several times and apparently he helped prevent yet another end but he has no memory of this. they want him to join the scions. he does not know these people. (he barely knows the warrior of light, now, but did he ever truly know them in the first place?) his little sister is alive and well. she looks at him like a ghost. she's changed, and she's older than him now. he acts bratty and loud and brash to cover up the fact that he does not know anything it seems, and he is tired but he was sleeping for so long, so how could he be tired?
he doesn't know these people. they seem to know him. he wonders if he'd killed someone, when it was him and not that exarch who woke up. he wonders if it should have been him who was "killed" in that way, if it is him that lives and not that man who had known and become friends with all these figures from legend. he wonders if he'll always be fated to be a historian one step back from everything, because he simply cannot be a hero.
#bound with thread | original posts#letters in verse | talking#g'raha tia#crystal exarch#hello everyone i am being Incredibly Normal about g'raha tia at -checks time- 12:02 am#you ever think about the fact that arr g'raha is basically killed/replaced when the exarch wakes up in 5.3. because i do. a lot#hi i have brainworms over this man he's SO tragic and i need to hold him gently in my hands like how you cradle a small trembling kitten#genuinely happy about his character growth and progression and happy ending and all but arr g'raha was the one who grabbed my focus#and i do miss a lot of that character sometimes yknow? post-shb g'raha isn't the same person as arr g'raha and that's intentionalā i thinkā#because he has gone through so much that we didn't see. so much trauma and pain because of the 8th umbral era and that loss he got hit with#and he's not the same person because he's *had* to change so much to keep himself and his people alive and i'm glad he's getting to#experience life to the fullest in endwalker onwards but just. i miss arr g'raha yknow#honestly the silliest thing about it is i miss his student of baldesion tattoo. was a fun little design element you know.#show us the tattoo again squeenix. give him back his red eyeshadow that he had.#give him his bow back i am begging#this has been: incomprehensible ramblings from simon at 12 at night
392 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
hi.
#i know most of you didnāt even realize i was gone#but manā¦#my mental health was like in a state of ššš in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldnāt shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes š„²)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#iām still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
64 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
#i can't reblog this but it came across my dash#and having just watched 4.9/4.10 again last night I NEED to yell about it#so i'm doing this#because YES#Silver does NOT fail to Get why Flint and Madi are pursuing the war because he has not suffered like they have#it's actually the opposite#we see him go through more real brutal direct pain and trauma on screen than either of them#even totally discounting the implied Unending Horrors (tm) of his past#maybe less grief but absolutely more trauma#for him the suffering this war will lead to is not theoretical#and the good it could possibly bring about very much is#and he is SCARED and trying to protect the people he loves#not to say anything about whether his choices are justified or not#but it is very clear WHY he is making them#and it's interesting how suffering in this show pushes characters in different directions#black sails#john silver
65 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
ā
#last night we got devastating news from the hospital#friday we took my grandpa to the er for a delirium and leg pain due to clotted veins to get some testing done and help him#turns out he has end stage lung cancer that spread through to his bones. doctors give him 4-8 weeks - tops#i felt guilty all weekend for setting all of rhis in motion while he preferred to stay at home (which he couldn't)#and then we got this diagnosis on top of it all. i've been an absolute wreck. i was wirh him at the er and visited him sunday and today#he's doing okay but he's depressed -has been for years- and it's been really tough fighting for someone who has given up years ago#i'm going home tomorrow. i need some time to rest and process to prepare for al that's to come#anyway. just wanted to update y'all after friday's post. i'm okay - all things considered. i just won't be as active out here as usual
20 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
*gulp* deacon/iris "please just kiss me" intimacy ask........ NYE party- (i am shot)
@oldworldwidgets ā [ intimacy prompts ]
It's in the stars, it's been written in the scars on our hearts
We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again
pose reference
#if u need me I'm gonna be on the floor thinking abt the doomed love of the disaster besties#aud.. aud my love my darling.. this little scene we crafted has been rotating nonstop in my brain for months#it has fundamentally ruined me#but it's so perfect it hurts so good I love seeing the lines blurring I love them not being able to get it right#struggling to communicate through the heartache *chefs kiss*#him.. him being the one to ask..#I am unwell you are always sending me banger prompts my dear AND you always know how to help put my chaotic ramblings in the perfect words#OUGH miss aud oldworldwidgets I love you with my entire heart and soul you are such a ray of sunshine in my life#also I still have the other two intimacy prompts u sent me for them in my back pocket.....#I've had some ideas of how they can spend the night on the roof under the stars together......#more on that later#ANYWAY#ilysm I am blowing you so many kisses rn#finally the people get to know who miss iris really kissed on new years eve on this fine day of *checks watch* valentine's day#(sorry nicky āš just bestie things u know how it is)#my art#sole survivor#fallout#fallout 4#fo4#deacon#deacon fallout 4#deacon fo4#oc x canon
68 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
wah i looove their designs and animation...
#sketched last night looped ''hot air balloon'' track last night rewatched elemental last night you know just how it is....i love it all augh#elemental#elemental 2023#pixar elemental#elemental fanart#ember lumen#wade ripple#it's so fun how just going w/the flow waviness drawing a wade is Correct. some flamey shiveriness / jaggedness in ember's lines is Correct#and it's all the more fun how it's like oh ofc not quite hitting the mark of how great their designs really are....so so good#and of course the expressive elasticity not only with their faces but the way their bodies ft. respective elements can be expressive#in addition to just usual [assume you have a usual literal human body] expressiveness options in posture / movement etc lol#also was thinking about how like we know everything we Need to know re: wade & his dad but also have so [zero details there]#which is interesting to wonder about. kinda assumed like oh a parent got sick & died but now considering how it could've been an accident..#the tiny layer of A Reaction he has when ember's talking abt parents giving up everything for you: could be nothing much; or Anything#also noting i Didn't note the first instances that they hear each other's names or introduce themselves thusly lol#or at least i sure can't recall it. just start knowing the other's name partway through which Isn't A Problem but it's like#ooh just more to consider & reexamine. i love to pick up More Details & that's helped by my difficulty in catching them in the first place#one thing about me i don't Catch things i don't Notice shit i don't Get stuff. and also of course: i do though lol#always a trip when it's like oh i love this movie i'm seeing it probably the two dozenth time#and then i notice something for the very first time that was clearly straightup meant to be Gotten upon the immediate viewing#even to the extent that smthing later seems to be kinda happening out of nowhere if you didn't. & i'd just rolled with it#like ok i'm autistic ofc that's something i gotta do all the time. & the adhd means i might keep getting distracted around the same pts.
121 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
...because any moment may be our last. everything is more beautiful because we're doomed.
#looking through my drafts and seeing this post unfinished and knowing in my core I'll probably never actually finish it .#but strangley enough i don't hate the way it looks with only those 2 panels ? beauty in simplicity or something idk#woe unfinished post be upon ye#honestly probably wouldnt even bother posting it were it not for the fact i was hit by a sudden wave of sadness#by being reminded out of the blue that alex really does just . lose nigel that night#enough deep level analysis my brain is all out i think . but just the simple fact that nigel dies that night#and alex has to go on for the rest of his life post-ending carrying that grief and loss with him#i know we talk about how nigel isn't truly 'gone' in the sense that they're one now and jack is supposed to be an amalgamation of the two#a product of their union and 'consummation' that night at the yard#but he's still gone . no matter how much alex might try and follow in nigel's footsteps#no matter how hard alex tries to tread that same path nigel did to feel close to him#he's gone . they will never have that moment beneath the house ever again . and alex has to go on living with that#anyway . normal again . imagine dropping a song rec like i used to. aha . go listen to sick like me by in this moment.#like minds#murderous intent#nigel colbie#alex forbes#nigel colbie x alex forbes#edit : THEY'LL NEVER HAVE THE MOMENT UNDER THE HOUSE AGAIN !!!!!#thinking about the moment where nigel sits across from alex after he shoots john#and the contrast to the scene in the crawlspace . nigel is trying to connect he is trying to get alex to see to understand#but now alex is closed off. something may be irreparable broken between them#do you think it was the moment where nigel starts to despair . to plead . realise that he needs to find a way to make alex truly see#i need to get some sleep
28 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
aventurine pl. Plea s e . PLLEEEEEEASE
#ā
arin rambles#āhere we go againā you think everytime you see my ramble tag. I dont blame you#AVENTURINE AVENTURINE PLEASE SAVE ME WHITE BOY#OH MY LORD#OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS OH MY GOODNESS.#MY JSOE IS RUNNING HES RUINNING MY LIFE I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE IM SO ILL PLEASE I#AVENTURINE. im so serious i can talk about this man all day. and more specifically this video#āit was just posted 30 minutes ago arin youre scaring the kidsā SILENCE. I NEED SPACE#I NEED A. A MOMENT. EVERYBODY PLEAS GETA WAY FROM ME IM GOING TO GET SO SCARY#Please. Im so sorry. Im begging you . I love this man oh my gish please hes so cute#HES SO CUTE. HES SO CUTE IM SO SICK OF HIM WHY???????? WHY IS HE SO PRETTY HES SO PRETTY HES GOREGOUS HES SO STUNNING. HELLO. HELLO.#Im going to. Slam my head against the wall im overwhelmed with joy and happiness hes everything ive ever wanted ever#any minute not spent talking about him is a moment wasted i promise you MY PRINCESS IM COMING TO SAVE YOU#IM HIS KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR EXCEPT ITS NOT SHINY#IM COVERED IN DIRT#IM STILL COMING FOR YOU AVENTURINE RUN#oh goodness me oh my#im so happy hes so prettu im so happy i cant do rhis im sweating geniumnly i feel so sick#Im cant . Do this anymore. I CANT TAKE IT. I HAVE TOā¦ AAUGHā¦ AAAHHā¦ I HAVE TOā¦. DANCE!#guysā¦. he my favorrietā¦#my slinkyā¦.. my krimpetā¦ my teacup i think. My doc mc stuffins doctor playset. My dishwasher. My italian coldsteel cinquedea . atp anything#hes my EVERYTHING. MY EVERYTHINGā¦!!!!!!!! *MY TELEKENISIS THROWS EVERYTTHING ACROSS THE ROOM*#yall i dont think ive had a hyperfixation this horribly bad since. Since the. Since. MAN I DONT KNOW#IM COOKED. HE WOMT LEAVE ME ALONE. I LITERALLY DREAMT OF HIM LAST NIGHT LIKE IM SO DOOMED? ACTUALLY?#oh to be medicated and focus on . Things like cooking. Or idk. Getting a job. No i just think about some messed up blonde all day im absolut#ly DOOMED#yes im still yapping i got 30 tags u gon stick through them all. Every single one of them. Dont leave me please i want to talk about him ton#TO SOMEONE. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM TO SOMEONE ALL DAY. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE TESTING. IM LEFT ALONE ALL DAY I JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY WIFE#i womder how crazy i look right now#Sighs lovingly at him..
32 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
so
#last night was really so so so fun and it was super hard to get myself to go out? like#in the sense of I really wanted to because I knew it would be fun but I also knew my anxiety was eating me alive#and it would be an obstacle getting through that without alcohol and I need to be ā¦ careful#but I got fun drunk and didnāt have too bad of a hangover and didnāt feel super anxious once we got out :#and a different friend wants to make plans for tonight but I am really bad at making plans in advance because sometimes I physically canāt#do things after work bc tired bc neuro disorder and itās frustrating to my friend with severe control issues#bc she needs to make specific plans like a week out and Iām like erm babe I canāt like#do that? and then if I donāt feel well day of and need to be home she gets (rightfully) frustrated because Iām bailing but itās#challenging. and you donāt understand unless you live with it.#and itās frustrating for us both. I donāt want her to think I donāt value her because I do and I force myself out often enough bc I#genuinely feel bad. but itās so fucking hard sometimes . she also lives sort of far so going from work and having#to drive an hour to her place to then go somewhere and be out like#Iām spent before I even get there#friend I saw last night and I donāt talk consistently but when we do itās always the same vibe and so fun and we just catch up about life#I feel like when I see my other friends they have things to always talk about because theyāre in a discord call almost every night#I donāt have the energy!!!!!!!!!! like Iām so sorry thatās so much for me#idk she isnāt answering me now but if she wants to do something I need to know in the next hr bc if not Iām literally going to bed#I love her but thereās a disconnect between us rn and I donāt know how to mend that gap#but I do love her friendship so Iām just like. sigh#idk it would be different if she was closer and I know that#I hope getting back on medication helps get me being more social again. Iām just so tired this week that speaking is hard lol
7 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
killugon are both REALLY autistic and this isn't even something i suppose anymore, that's just true
#like i mean killua almost never ate things that can be really considered food#just candies all the time#and he CLEARLY developed a special interest over chocorobots#killua has a really surprising pattern recognition and is obviously a āi obsess over people and turn them into my special interestā autisti#then we have gon#who trusts people wholeheartedly and got a strong sense of what is wrong and what is right for him#gon is straightforward and simple minded#but not in a dumb way he just dont get why would people lie to him bc his heart says everyone is sincere as he's and he tries to be cautiou#but in the end he trusts again and again cause he sees people through a colorful lense and needs killuas help to understand real people#i could talk about it all night tbh like it's both my special interests mixed together#but i have school tomorrow and no one to talk#gon#gon freecss#hunter x hunter#hxh#killua#killua zoldyck#killugon#headcanons#hcs
95 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
The universe keeps thwarting me [nerfed by the common cold edition] but So Much (for) Stardust is a RnS Helsknight song.
#spazzcat barks#im delirious#but also i started drawing the two lines that make me EmotionalTM and had to stop because its 9pm and my brain is melting#anyway i keep imagining#'I used to be a real go getter' as Helsknight before he started looking like Wels#[taller muscular platinum white blonde hair annoying spotting of freckles constantly red eyes]#and then panning to 'I used to think it'd all get better' Helsknight with hair nearly auburn no freckles dull black-blue eyes#the only real thing setting him apart from his other half being the scars he chose to keep -- even those fading with time#so much for stardust... we thought we had it all.......#eughhh i need sleep#its just a good song okay#life is just a game maybe#im stuck in a lonely loop now baby#i need the sound of crowds now or i cant fall asleep at night#im losing my mind#i think ive been going through it.... ive been putting your name to it....#[dilerious muttering continues]
32 notes
Ā·
View notes