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skeletinmoss · 26 days ago

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The curse of the dark Phoenix

Chapter 20: Spilling tea

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"Um. Mister Janus?" Patton asked.

"Yes, little one?" Janus hummed, curling his arms a bit tighter around Logan's waist, practically resting his head on top of his travel companion’s. Roman couldn't help a bemused smile as he saw how hard Logan was trying to focus on the road rather than his own gay panic. Let’s see how well he fared with a handsome mage paying him special attention.

"Remus told us how he got his title. What got you the nickname Silver Tongue?"

Janus chuckled. "That is a very good question. It refers to... well, I was often trusted with assisting the king with, negotiations, of all sorts. Wearing different faces when needed. Only those who'd known me as a child knew my true face and only Remus and Virgil ever figured out how to spot me when I was wearing a new one," Janus explained as his face shifted through several other appearances before settling back to his own. Well, the one that resembled a mature version of the face Roman had seen in Virgil's childhood memory. Roman wondered if he was naturally tall or if he chose to be.

"Taking on a new face became as easy as putting on different clothes. They say that my voice itself became magical. The talent to persuade like no other alone could have gotten me the title, of course. But it actually came about after a nasty rumor took hold that I incited a coup using my skills, circumventing a sacred oath of loyalty by twisting words and identity," Janus said a bit too dramatic to sound sincere in his distress at the accusation.

"Thing with swearing an oath to the bloodline, it doesn't count when the king is not really part of that bloodline," Virgil joked fondly.

"And it wasn't my fault that some innocent jokes got twisted into a rallying cry," Janus added innocently.

"He was an entitled jerk anyway," Virgil recalled. Roman got the idea that Virgil might have helped with this coup.

"Another reason not to get involved in politics," Remus stated.

Patton was quiet for a moment.

"... Is night flame about something special, too, then? Because I figured it just referred to him being a dark phoenix..." Patton asked.

Virgil tensed, his dread and embarrassment, almost knocking Roman of balance.

"Oh, we all have a few, we just pick the one we feel fits us most as our official title. Virgil had a lot of titles over the years, though," Janus explained.

"That's what happens when you rub elbows with the right people all the time," Remus cackled.

"Night Flame is a bit of a reference to his guide yes, which is why he chose it. It’s one of the first titles they gave him and he is a stubborn fool who refuses to acknowledge that he’s a living legend no matter how hard he hides behind a name everyone’s forgotten the story behind,” Janus explained, sending Virgil a fondly teasing look before addressing Patton once more.

“Things got a bit unruly during our first few years as high mages. And Virgil, both out of concern for his family and general inability to stay out of a crisis, offered help to the people who might be part of the crossfire while the rest of us were busy with glorious battle or something like it. He was called night flame because in a dark time for them, he was hope,” he explained.

“Like Jani said, he had a lot. Like, he had a habit to pick out kiddies with ‘potential’ and ended up being in the middle of big events because of it. People actually started to believe that the gods gave him visions of the future so he could ‘guide those blessed by them on their path’,” Remus quoted haughtily. “For that, they called him Fate Walker," he revealed. Virgil groaned into Roman's shoulder. "Now they aren't going to shut up about it for hours," he muttered.

"Virgil, it is only fair for them to know what kind of person they travel with," Janus said teasingly.

"Yeah, they are allowed to know that you were the fabled Lunar Consort," Remus teased.

Roman blushed, wondering what that could mean. "No, I did not seduce a god," Virgil sighed.

"I made a tea that helped people deal with nightmares. A guaranteed good night's sleep. I called it: Moon's love, and rumors happened," he surmised.

“Oh of course. How silly of us. It is not as if you eased the suffering of a lot of soldiers and civilians alike. Not to mention the fact that it doesn’t work as a sedative. It only facilitates sleep in those who are already seeking rest. It is impossible to misuse. It’s not like that is a rarity or anything,” Janus scoffed.

“It’s not a big deal!” Virgil insisted.

"Whatever you say, Arachnid Armored," Remus shrugged.

"That one wasn't even wide spread... are you still upset that I wouldn't make you anything from my very limited batch of spider silk?" Virgil asked.

"It looks so sick dude! Why noooot!?" Remus whined.

"Because I am not wasting the most valuable type of fabric on a loincloth," Virgil huffed before explaining to the group.

"I made my sister's wedding dress with spidersilk. It was supple, soft and very sturdy. I made myself a shirt with what was left. I wore it for the wedding and for a party a few years later. Someone got rowdy, and I ended up with a knife in my stomach. Except I didn't get stabbed. Turns out, spidersilk fabric, woven, dyed and sown together by a high mage is indestructible. My sister’s dress is still in the family as an heirloom. It’s survived anything you could possibly throw at it. And if it gets a bit too out of style I come by to make a few alterations to better suit the bride… I probably missed a few weddings…” a deep sadness rolled of Virgil in a few heavy waves before he pulled himself together. “Once I realized how durable it was, I made an undershirt for Arthur to wear whenever he felt unsafe. That should still be around as well,” he finished.

“He basically made fashionable, indestructible armor by forming a special trust with spiders. He won’t tell anyone how he did it. Those critters are skittish as hell. No one’s been able to do it since,” Remus offered.

“I did tell people. You just have to ask nicely,” Virgil insisted.

“Perhaps it’s easier for you because you spin and weave yourself?” Roman offered. “You understand and respect the craft better than most mages, so none of them will be able to convey a sincere adoration for their work the way you do?”

It was quiet for a little while. “That makes a lot of sense actually,” Virgil allowed.

“I suppose it does Virgil Master Brewer,” Janus agreed.

“For the love off… I can make a decent tea, how is that a thing that got me a title?” Virgil asked exasperatedly.

“It is true that I very much look forward to having tea at your home again. But that is not the only reason you were called that. It is more a footnote to that aspect of your legacy. There isn’t a potion in existence that hasn’t been improved upon by you in some way,” Janus argued.

“Patton’s was perfect just the way it was,” Virgil insisted.

“Aw, thanks Virgil,” Patton said cheerily.

Janus didn’t look impressed. “Usually I am all for some well-placed flattery, but not when it is so you can avoid praise of your own. That was a first trial and it wasn’t even for the potion’s intended purpose. I’m sure that if our scholar here were to drink it and get stabbed, he’d have a few notes,” he mused.

“I would rather not be the Guinea pig for this experiment. Besides I fully intend on ascending once we have explained ourselves to the king. So I won’t be a viable candidate for much longer,” Logan insisted.

“Do you now?” Janus purred, intrigued, but not quite surprised.

“It is most efficient,” Logan nodded.

“And you are jelly that your buddy did it first,” Remus teased.

Roman looked at Logan surprised… Logan, jealous? Of him?

“Ridiculous,” Logan huffed. “Roman’s improvement under Virgil’s guidance is remarkable. I don’t begrudge him the progress he made,” he insisted.

“Uhuh. So it doesn’t bother you that Pattycake also became a great wizard mage?” Remus taunted.

Logan flushed. “I am not that vain!” he protested.

“Hmmm, nothing vain about a little ambition,” Janus mused, resting his chin on Logan’s shoulder and talking into his ear. “On the contrary. I think it is rather attractive in a man,” he told him.

Logan flushed bright red. “Virgil, do all your friends tend to flirt with people they met five minutes ago?” Logan demanded.

“Well, it’s been a bit longer than that darling,” Janus pointed out.

“That was not the first ‘pass’ you made at me,” Logan pointed out. Janus smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

Virgil chuckled. “Well…” he said.

“Yes,” Remus cut in. Roman caught a brief flash of disappointment in Patton’s eyes. Remus clearly had no place making jabs at Virgil’s supposed lack of ‘game’.

“Only when they look appetizing,” Janus assured Logan. “Though I will attempt to reign myself in if it bothers you,” he promised lowly.

“Is that voice part of your namesake? There is something about it that doesn’t sound… I’ve heard you talk in Virgil’s memory, it didn’t sound like that,” Roman asked, struggling a bit with putting it all into words.

Janus chuckled. “Are you saying I am enchanting, father of the sun warrior?” he teased.

Roman didn’t answer that, guessing that Janus could probably dance around the question for hours if needed. From what he understood of him he was a politician after all.

Janus smirked at him. “It is indeed part of my magic. It is more obvious than Virgil’s mastery over his senses, but more subtle than Remus’ beastly mastery of Faunix’s realm.

But it’s come in handy,” he allowed.

“Mastery of Faunix’s realm?” Patton repeated confused.

“Animal. I got so good at transforming in all sorts of critters I don’t need any part of them to transform. I could become a unicorn right now if I felt like it. My fav is still my guide though,” Remus elaborated.

“Speaking of talents, I believe we were trying to get our Mystic of the Mist to admit to his extraordinary resume,” Janus grinned, making Virgil groan in frustration.

“I hoped the subject was dropped,” he grumbled.

“Not a chance,” Remus cackled.

Janus elaborated for them. “Have any of you ever been taught about the… What did people end up calling it… The age of winter?” he asked.

Roman thought back.

“There are some old legends and nursery rhymes that refer to it,” Logan informed his passenger.

Right, now Roman remembered something…

“Silver sky, cloudy land, passerby with light in hand. Stay the path, find the way. Spring might come some other day,” he sang softly.

“Why are they always so creepy?” Virgil mused.

He was ignored though.

“A long time ago, before the first king was crowned. The weather shifted,” Janus recalled.

“It was the last of fall, so we didn’t realize it right away,” Virgil recalled. “But when my windows couldn’t find a single bit of sunny sky in the whole territory that was under our protection for days, we knew something was wrong,” he said.

“But by then, finding the source and reversing it was no longer an easy task. The spell had taken a life of its own and even if the caster had changed their mind, they wouldn’t be able to control it anymore. Changing the weather should only be done very locally. This was a shift over the entire country,” Janus continued.

“We don’t know if it was an idiot who messed up an experiment, or if it was an idiot who tried to protect us in a way but got in way over their head, or someone from outside the territory who was trying to mess with us. No one ever claimed responsibility,” Remus informed them.

“And it would be fifty years before one of us stumbled upon the eye of the spell and called all of us to him to undo its hold on the local climate. Most people alive at that time had never seen the sun a day in their lives. Society had changed its rhythm and habits, life expectancy had shortened. We had to gently return them to the ways before the age of winter,” Virgil recalled.

“And Virgie spent most of those fifty years popping up wherever people were lost with Star to get them where they were going all safe and sound,” Remus cackled.

“He wore a hood an didn’t speak hoping people wouldn’t put together that it was him and not a weather god taking pity on them. Sometimes it was, they were really in a tizzy that this man made storm wouldn’t listen to them. But when your companion is a cosmic wolf, people are going to figure you out V,” he told his friend.

Virgil sighed. “Well, Stardust made it easier to travel from one side of the territory to the other,” he argued.

“I was a bit surprised to hear about how there were animal guides in the mountains helping travelers not fall off a cliff,” he added meaningfully.

Remus didn’t respond to that.

“Come to think of it, wasn’t it that spring that Arthur was born?” Janus mused.

“That very day actually. The stars that night…” Virgil smiled, nostalgic. “I can’t begin to describe how beautiful they looked after fifty years of not seeing them,” he mused. “You missed them too didn’t you Star?” Virgil wondered. Star let out a happy bark making the group chuckle.

“Those were all mushy domestic ones though. I like the spicy ones best,” Remus argued.

Roman felt Virgil tense.

“Remus, I think Virgil’s had enough for today,” Janus suggested casually, but Roman was looking at him and caught him glancing at Virgil worriedly.

“Oh come on! Ocean’s blade of fire is such a sexy one,” Remus insisted. Roman felt the dread, recognized it from when Virgil picked up his daggers. It was that but ten times worse.

He tried to let him feel that this didn’t change the way he felt.

“I never understood the whispered death though. I saw you on that battle, it was not quiet,” Remus giggled.

“Remus enough!” Janus exclaimed.

“The survivors called me that. Because I would ask them not to die for this. But I asked softly, a whisper," Virgil said. Voice hollow and sad.

“Shit, sorry V, I forgot,” Remus offered.

“How can you possibly forget such a thing?” Janus bit.

“Hey, you were there for the jerk kings and I am mad at myself for not punching their lights out for you guys. But I didn’t see that bit of it. Just occasionally the carnage when I happened to be close to the battleground, ah…” Remus seemed to catch himself, remembering there was an audience. “He only really fought foot soldiers when he really, really had to,” he told them. “If he could he only defeated a very cocky leader and that was usually enough to have the rest of the army run off grateful to be given the chance to live once they realized that the stories were true,” he assured them, hoping to fix the mess he made. Roman laid a reassuring hand on Virgil’s trembling fists that pressed into his stomach. Virgil relaxed.

“Say, Remus, what kind of animals do you like turning into?” Patton asked, distracting Remus so he wouldn’t mess things up more by trying to help and giving Virgil some space to feel his feelings.

“Janus, I would actually like to pick your brain on some things that historians seem to be in disagreement over,” Logan offered, picking up on the tactic.

Roman rode on, giving Virgil some time to be convinced that he hadn’t been scared off.

“What was that about your senses?” Roman wondered softly.

Virgil chuckled. He leaned back a little and pressed his fingers against Roman’s temples. Suddenly the world opened up to him in a new way. A little like when he ascended.

“I’m pretty sure I saw a few new colors,” Roman breathed in awe when it was over.

Virgil put his arms back around his waist, feeling a bit better. But not back to a good mood. There were many things on his mind probably.

Roman bit his lip. Most of all, he wanted not to be overheard right now, but to ‘talk’ with Virgil, it was much easier when they could see each other to add more context to their feelings.

He looked up and saw a bird pass over. Virgil looked up as well and a warm longing filled him.

Roman got an idea.

Virgil was hesitant, but clearly wanted to.

Roman reassured him. There was no rush if he felt like now wasn’t the time. It’d get their mind off of things, but it was true that this wasn’t something he wanted tainted by a bad mood.

Virgil pulled himself closer to his back. Soft excitement for the future starting to overtake the pain of the past.

Roman felt in his satchel and found the tea he’d packed. Logan was a bit of a tea snob.

The moment he brought it to the surface Virgil apparently could smell what he had in his hand because he definitely picked up on what he was thinking off.

The mix of excitement and nerves convinced Roman that this was supposed to be their first date.

There was a hint of uncertainty. He was asking Roman if he was really alright with it. With them going on a date now, in the middle of everything. If he wanted to die on their first date. Maybe a few other things. But Roman knew that the answer was yes. He let him feel how excited he was.

Relief washed over Virgil and then a hint of annoyance. Roman could guess what was bothering him. He took one of his hands and put it on his temple, the road ahead was straight so he could take a moment to show him right? He took a deep breath, felt Virgil breathe with him like when they shared dreams, and thought back to the moment he’d been so distracted by the relief of seeing Virgil, of feeling him again, that he didn’t even properly register that Remus’ blade had cut diagonally from his shoulder to his sternum. Looking at Virgil, despite his horrified expression, the adrenaline made it impossible for him to even think of death. The pain washed away and he felt warm and comfortable like in the temple when he’d ascended. And then he was back where he was before with some mild soreness and no clue what had happened.

Virgil felt a bit comforted. Roman imagined he hadn’t had that many opportunities to share a fellow phoenix’s first death with them. Let alone one he was courting.

“Almost forgot. J! Lucas had some tea for you!” Virgil announced after a few moments of gathering his emotions.

“The little Bosh boy?” Janus asked surprised, pulled from his conversation with Logan.

"Exactly that one. He's got a granddaughter now. Preserved them just like his mother taught him," Virgil explained.

Roman assumed that this method kept herbs from losing their flavor after 50 years.

"Oh. Anything for me?" Remus wondered.

"Downside of not being around people enough to make connections Remus. No presents when you get back from an involuntary 50 year sabbatical," Virgil shrugged.

Remus pouted.

"Remus, my tea is the result of a generational bond and many minds tweaking it exactly to my taste. Prefaced with a lifelong close friendship with one of their ancestors that made me a part of the family's history. I was not quite as beloved as Virgil. But still, very much welcomed," Janus relayed smugly.

"You have a personalized blend, too?" Logan asked out loud.

"Oh, I should have guessed you are a man of refined taste. You clearly knew how to appreciate the wine properly," Janus coed. "Perhaps we could share our blends sometime? You can tell a lot about a man by how he likes his tea," he muttered lowly.

"Well, I've got Logan's with me. It hasn't aged for 50 years, but it is to his taste," Roman pointed out.

"I should have guessed you brought it with you," Logan chuckled. "Roman has not had generations to refine the blend, and I have not had centuries to refine my palette, but this is as close as we could possibly get to perfection in this lifetime. Roman relished in the challenge to make me a special blend for my eighteenth birthday, and he tries something new every once in a while," Logan explained. Virgil leaned into Roman to whisper in his ear, listing the ingredients he'd managed to pick out from briefly smelling them earlier.

Roman chuckled as he got almost all of them right.

He sent him some fond teasing. Virgil felt a little sheepish at being called out for bragging again. Roman couldn't help laughing at that.

"Adorable," Janus teased.

"Aw cupcake, will you go on a tea date with me too? I don't wanna be left out," Remus pouted.

"Oh, um... well... ah..." Patton stammered.

"It is not a date," Logan argued.

"It could be, it isn't as intimate as dying together, but I assure you, I could make up for that," Janus mused. Roman was starting to see what Virgil meant when he said he was, in fact, taking things slow with him. His friends clearly wasted no time once they saw something they liked.

"Maybe we should tone down the flirting until we have spoken with the king," Virgil suggested, taking pity on the two great wizard mages.

"Hmmm. Not sure. I'd like to devour mine sometime this week actually," Janus mused.

"Devour?" Logan asked perplexed.

"Yeah, V. We both haven't has any fun contact with anyone in 50 years. You took a nap. Love ya man. But we are kinda starving for some tlc. Bonus points if it's with someone dtf," Remus pointed out. Roman supposed he had a point. He got a bit fidgety if he went a few days without a hug or something of the like, a rarity considering he was friends with Patton. He couldn’t imagine having to be isolated for 50 years.

"Besides just cuz your eye fucking and flirting is silent doesn't mean we don't get to play," Remus added for good measure. Roman really didn't need to think about That right now.

There was a hint of amusement in Virgil. "I suppose if they don't complain... but they have to be able to compose themselves by the time we speak to the king," he insisted.

"Oh! That reminds me of another one of your titles!" Remus gasped.

"Your majesty," he continued before anyone could stop him. Shocked silence followed.

"Only for like... a decade!" Virgil recalled.

"Thirteen years actually, if I recall correctly. With an average reign of 20, that could be considered a complete reign," Janus argued. "And you were one of my favorites," he added. Virgil blushed.

“You just had to remember that part didn’t you,” he huffed.

"There was an issue with succession. Everyone voted and only V didn't vote for himself as regent king," Remus grinned.

"It was very official. He swore in his council and everything. And of course helped raise the future Queen," Janus explained.

"I'd love to hear more about what that was like someday," Roman offered, hoping that would ease Virgil's embarrassment.

"What that's like is that he went from a respected mentor and friend to the royal family to an honorary member," Janus explained smugly.

"Yeah! You were basically the queen's father figure. She named her son after you didn't she?" Remus recalled.

"King Edward Virgil Pendragon," Virgil nodded a fondness in him that he managed to keep from his voice.

King Edward... "King Thomas' great -great grandfather?" Roman asked perplexd.

"Yeah," Virgil confirmed. "Queen Nathalie made some good strides towards better relationships with others. With a high mage in charge, the neighbors didn’t dare to risk provoking us. Tensions were still high when she took the throne though. But slowly she and every monarch since have been disarming the hostilities. A peace that was thankfully maintained the last few decades," Virgil explained, a pit forming in his stomach.

Roman squeezed his hand in reasurance. "A town is coming up ahead," he announced, getting everyone’s attention.

“The inn should be…” Virgil whispered.

“Halt! Who goes there!?” a knight declared. Crap.

“Good evening. I am Great mage Roman, phoenix of light,” Roman announced, a bit miffed he couldn’t use his cool new high mage title. But it wouldn’t mean anything to the knights.

“We were informed that you would be traveling with a phoenix…” the knight said skeptically.

“If you look for a phoenix, then look at the sky,” Janus suggested, his voice honey sweet and bemused. Like an adult to a child. Virgil was amused, and a bit nostalgic. Roman guessed they were about to see the silver tongue in action.

“Ah, well, the report…” the soldier stammered, immediately unsure of himself.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Janus offered. “We won’t tell the king that you didn’t see the phoenix if you won’t,” he promised. “Easy mistake. We are all only human after all,” he pointed out.

“Yeah… Yes… Well, be sure to ah… Next town you should have the phoenix with you, the king wishes to be kept informed,” the knight insisted.

“Of course, we will keep that in mind,” Janus promised.

And with that, they were let through.

It was silent for a little while.

“Couldn’t help yourself could you?” Virgil grinned.

“It saved us a lot of time. I want to settle down with some tea and get properly caught up on everything I have missed,” Janus insisted. “I’m sure you won’t mind educating me?” he asked Logan, who blushed. “Yes, I ahm… I will inform you of the events that happened as best as I can manage,” he promised.

Janus chuckled.

“And I can tell you about the beasties on my mountain,” Remus promised Patton who seemed excited by the prospect.

“Let’s get to the inn without detours this time,” Logan suggested, a little nervous now that the king was clearly keeping an eye on them.

Virgil nodded. “This way,” he said, indicating the path. Roman guided his horse through the sleeping town. Occasionally someone would walk past them, but they never paid him enough mind to notice anything odd. Such as Remus still not wearing a shirt. Or Janus being dressed far too fancy for travel.

Roman felt a lot of tension fall away when they left the town.

“Honestly, I am surprised that the guards are only now paying any attention to travelers. We could have started some big problems if we’d wanted,” Virgil mused.

“I was wondering the same. Thomas was a trusting boy, but I would imagine even he would have caution over strangers wandering through the land,” Janus mused.

“Before the plague we used a lot of magic to protect the villages and find people with ill intent to make the job easier for the guards. If those wards haven’t been maintained since Gustav disappeared 30 years ago those probably haven’t been much help for a long time. But it seems there is a fairly good communication network considering they did spot our suspicious activity within a few days,” Virgil mused.

“Hm… I should probably check on my mountain after Tommy says we can go. Who knows how many unfortunate souls stumbled into my home,” Remus giggled.

“Well, we’re here. Let’s gather our bearings and then head to the castle,” Virgil suggested.

Indeed another deceptively small building was visible just a little way of the path. One could be forgiven for assuming it was someone’s home.

But Roman and his friends knew better by now.

They dismounted the horses and with a spell from Remus they took off, heading home on their own. “They won’t run into any nasties,” Remus assured Patton, ruffling his hair playfully.

Patton giggled and ducked away from the gesture, blushing just a bit… Roman wouldn’t have guessed that someone as… Brutish, as Remus would catch Patton’s attention like that, but it seemed that despite the wild mage’s missteps Patton was growing attached. He better not hurt him. Roman was a high mage too and he would gladly die a few dozen times if it taught the brute not to mess with his friend’s heart.

“Back again?” the inn keeper noted kindly as he opened the door.

“We just want to rest our legs and go to Mystica if that is alright,” Virgil offered, paying the man.

“We would like a kettle of hot water though,” Virgil added.

The man nodded and headed to the kitchen as the group settled.

“Me and Roman are going to need a bit of time alone. I don’t want to freak out the lady of the house by having two dying arch mages in her dining hall,” Virgil explained.

"Naturally," Janus said teasingly.

Virgil ignored him.

Remus clapped Roman on the back. "Go get some ass nephew," he cackled. Roman just rolled his eyes.

"Here you go," the innkeeper announced, bringing over a big kettle, steaming hot

"Excellent," Virgil smiled. He retrieved a smaller kettle from his satchel and filled it with water. "We will need a little time to meditate," he told their host, gesturing between Roman and himself.

"Of course," he nodded and led them to a room.

"You won't be needing anything else?" He asked.

"No, that will be all," Virgil assured him as he put the kettle down and set out two cups, and put a little bag with herbs in the kettle.

They were left alone, Virgil gestured for Roman to sit down with him. Which was a relief considering his legs felt like they were turning into jelly.

"How is it that you are more scared now than when you were nearly cleaved in two?" he asked bemused.

Roman blushed. "I didn't know what was happening at the time," he reminded him. "I was mainly relieved you were okay. Which is a bit stupid, but it was a scary sight," he explained. Virgil looked at him fondly. “This is different. I know what’s going to happen, kind off. I’ve never died on purpose before,” he added, eyeing the kettle where the means of his demise were difusing into the water.

"I developed this poison myself. To ease the passing of those who cannot or do not want to, be saved by healing. It won't hurt," Virgil promised.

And he was so certain that Roman found himself relaxing. Still nervous, but he assumed first dates usually had that effect on people.

Virgil smirked and poured out a cup for each. "It will take a bit of time to work. But it will be gradual and peaceful. Trust me, as poisons go, this is rather pleasant," he assured him.

"Speaking from experience?" Roman joked. To his shock, Virgil nodded. "I wrote a book on the effects different poisons had on the body. Some are very unpleasant," Virgil said with a grimace. Roman could feel his own stomach clench.

"You know this is going to be about more than just ensuring you know what to do next time you die," Virgil stated softly as he picked up his cup.

"Yeah," Roman said, picking up his own. Nervous for two reasons now.

"Listen, I know how you feel, and you know how I feel. We have gotten to know one another on a very intimate level very quickly due to our bond. I got to know you through how you felt watching your friends struggle and triumph. How you felt about your own accomplishments and in battle. And something similar goes for you. What I am trying to say is, I don't doubt that you understand who I am, even if you don't know all I’ve done, good or bad," Virgil explained carefully. Observing the surface of his cup.

"And you know who I am," Roman agreed. Virgil nodded.

"So... do you wish to see where those feelings take us?" Virgil asked. Roman nodded, letting his heart talk for him. Virgil smirked, though there was a soft giddy undertone to it. "To our collective health," he suggested before drinking his tea. Roman followed suit. He was pleasantly surprised. Nothing about this gave him the idea that he was drinking poison.

It was really good, actually.

"You are good at this master brewery thing," he complemented.

Virgil chuckled. "I wouldn't recommend it as an addition to your morning ritual," he teased as he got up. "Let's lay down. It'll start to drain us of our strength soon enough," he said, offering a hand which Roman took.

They laid down in the bed, facing each other, and Virgil cast a spell.

"Fireproofing?" Roman guessed.

"I'm pretty sure Arson is still considered poor manners," Virgil chuckled, taking Roman's hand and squeezing it. He was nervous.

"You'd think that at a certain point this would get easier. But it still feels just as queezy as the first time," Virgil mused displeased. Roman would've thought Virgil meant dying, were it not for how his eyes drifted to his lips as he spoke.

Oh.... oh wow... ok. Yeah... yeah he definitely would like that...

He frowned. Something felt off. That cold sensation was back. Like something had settled in his stomach and was draining the warmth from his body. Last time it had been in his shoulder, but it was the same feeling. Then he realized that was exactly it. He could feel the poison trying to kill him.

"Let it happen. You'll be ok," Virgil promised as he laid a hand on his waist and pulled them closer together, noses almost touching.

Roman tried to relax but flinched as the cold reached his heart.

"Shhhh," Virgil soothed, growing paler with the second.

He laid a hand to Roman's face and stroked his cheek with his thumb. Instantly, Roman felt better.

"May I?" Virgil asked, a slight tremble in his voice. From nerves or because the poison was getting to him Roman wasn’t entirely sure. Roman could feel the cold in his throat and a start of something warm in his chest. He didn't waste time on words, and laid his free hand on Virgil's face, and together, they bridged the gap.

The warmth started to burn, his heart was pounding. He didn't mind, though. He was kissing Virgil, and he was okay with the flames of his magic consuming them like this. He barely noticed Virgil's own flames joining in. He was kissing Virgil, and he didn't know where one ended and the other began.

And then the darkness came.

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #ts virgil #roman sanders #ts roman #prinxiety #the dark phoenix au

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theoriginaleppieblack-blog · 19 days ago

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Happy 81st Birthday to Jimmy Page! Here is a humble winter offering to our fandom's Holly King. A portrait of times past with Alexander Logan and Tristam Lindsay of Paradox. This Winter's Tale is an extremely loose retelling of a lost story from Pamela Rose's Paradox material, Christmas in Wales. I'll lead you to the fandom history of Paradox at Fanlore here and Ao3 here but long story short this is an adaptation of a story written in the early-1980s that I saw on the Old Web in the 1990s and I only partly remember. In fact, it may be a memory of a memory. I may have heard a summary or a discussion of a story that was already lost. The central motif though, of Alex going off to have a Ringo-In-A-Hard-Day's-Night sulk in his old Welsh borderlands Homes And Haunts and Tris rescuing him is true to the original. The original had more explicit sex and less handmade sweaters, I think, but I needed a central element and I had just finished these. It makes a nice tribute to Jimmy's mom and his gorgeous argyle vest. Also thank you to Fluffernutter, Symon, McCoy, Molly, Gallagher, Murphy, Kieran, Shamrock, Bianca, Finnegan, Flopsy, Callahan and Squeaker for providing the Rabit Angora yarn that these sweaters are made of. Anyway, here's Tris and Alex in

CHRISTMAS IN WALES, 1970

Here we see the two at an intimate party for Tristam's winter birthday. Someone--one of their bandmate's wives--can't help but ask about the matching sweaters. "A gift from a fan, meant to reflect your stage colors?" Jane Cameron guesses. (Author Note: Jane Cameron--expy of Maureen Jones and Sheila Neil--expy of Pat Bonham--have identical personalities in the original Paradox Material. Which like, alright, at least they didn't get too personal in adapting the wives but the only difference between them here is that Janey is nice and Sheila is shrewish. That and not great adaptations of USAmerican ideas of British working class accents. I've mixed a little of the ladies of British Folk like Sandy Denny and Sue Waterson into my version of Janey and a little competence, empathy and tenacity into my version of Sheila while not prying too much into people's lives. I don't want to be a creep. I just want to retell these legends of the peak of civilization in my own voice. Around this metaphorical electronic campfire. On this long winter night. I always imagined I'd do this. After the collapse. With less internet and dolls and more actual campfire and perhaps and acoustic guitar. But well, We all know now that we will be required to work during the apocalypse sooooo FOMO.)

"My Mother made them, actually." Tris replied, proudly. "They were for Christmas." (Author's Note: Tris's mother is a fragile, fey little thing in the original Paradox Material which is quite unlike my vague understanding of Mrs. Patricia Page, first of her name. I see no reason to change this for one thing Mrs. Lindsay's psychic ramblings are the first indication that Paradox live in a Magickal Realism universe, in this case the type where Magick works about twice as often and twice as strongly as the the strongest currently reported effects and some of the metaphorical stuff and astral stuff involved in occultism or mysticism or Theurgy happen IRL but not so much or so often that it breaks the world as we know it. Oh, and another good effect of Mrs. Lindsay's psychic rambling is that Alex is EXACTLY who she expected Tris to bring home to Mummy. Mrs. Lindsay says Gay Rights!)

ANYWAY -- Back to the story, Epppie!

Whenever they wear the sweaters together Alex, can't help but think about what a hero Tris was the day he received his first handmade made gift from Tris's Ma! Tris should feel like a hero on his birthday, after all. So, Alex let's his friends in, just a little, on the secrets of his and Tris's Christmas, the previous year, in Wales.

At the end of their autumn tour, Tris and Alex parted ways for the first time since -- well, nearly since they'd met. Alex had gone back home to the Black Country with Duffy Neal, Paradox's drummer (and Alex's childhood best friend). (Author's Note: There's a little stress here, Tris is all in with Alex, but Alex still has an extended kin network that he needs to nurture. And this is after a tour in which Alex spent as much time managing Duffy's emotions as he has working on his art, magick and sex--his Great Work with Tris.)

But fitting in back home proves awkward for Alex Logan. The support network of the Alex/Duffy/Sheila triad, with Duffy's supportive Aunt and Sheila's old-fashioned but tolerant parents is overwhelmed by relatives who previously would not have given them the time of day. Now everybody wants to see the what the Paradox money has done and see the improvements on the farm. Duffy and Alex both get gender-shamed about wanting to spend time with Billy Neal, Duffy's son (and Alex's godson). Duffy hides in showing off his motors and, of course, drinking. But Alex, really get's into it with someone -- Duffy's grandmother maybe. And Alex storms off. Possibly in his new sportscar or maybe it was in Guinevere, his old VW Beetle (Author's note: In my doll universe Guinevere has been upgraded to a VW Bus as portrayed by a 1970 Barbie Camper)

Alex drives around, visits his maternal Grandfather's grave, his old school, and even parks outside his estranged parent's house for a while, imagines going in, imagines a different life. He ends up going to a vacation cottage that he used to go to with his parents when he was a kid. The landlord lives in the gatehouse of the estate that the cottages are on and he just knocks on the door and rents it in cash. (Author's Note: The estate is this place that's like an Elizabethan farmhouse that became a 19th century super fancy hunting lodge that the family turned into a place where they could stash a son who had a bad war and his loyal batsman/valet/romantic friend. They were the one's renting the vacation cottages and, before that, letting Alex's maternal grandfather's folk set up on his land. This place becomes everything to Paradox -- it's their Bron Yr Aur, it's their Headley Grange, it's their once hoped for permanent home base studio. It becomes Alex's permanent home officially and Tri's in actuality.)

Alex is resolved to spend Christmas alone in the tiny cabin. He's kind of wallowing in it, tbh. His poor dog, Elessar, along for the ride. Alex Logan, 20-year-old millionaire rethinking his life choices.

Oh and it get's very cold. Maybe it snows. Yeah. I think they play in the snow later. Like there's a parody of a scene of a scene in A Child's Christmas in Wales. Later, after Tris shows up.

Anyway, poor Alex, he does get cold, and a bit hungry. Stil a bit stubborn. He's even taken off the scrying mirror necklace that Tris gave him. (Author's Note: There are two different stories about how he got that necklace. One is that Tris spontaneously gifted it to him just days after they met, almost at random, from an auction lot he was receiving at the time. A ploy to impress the beautiful young singer but a portentous gift for a first date/job interview. The other is that it was gifted to Alex on a milestone birthday, after careful consideration and with the solemnity of a marriage proposal.)

After some tribulations of his own Tris does show up. He just couldn't sit still for his family Christmas party, it was not at all a surprise when Duffy called to tell him Alex was missing. Tris verifies with his housekeeper back in London that Alex isn't back there before rousing their manager, Mick Royce to help him retrace Alex's steps. Secretly he uses his highly trained intuition as a guide. He uses Duffy's clues and what he know of Alex's path and even talks to Alex's younger sister for the first time, before he ends up at a certain vacation cabin over the border in Wales. He arrives with a hamper the size of a coffee table, repacked by his Mum and a present too. Mick grumbles about his ruined Christmas before he leaves Tris there. They'll get back in Alex's ride.

The present is a matching sweater for Alex. After the disaster at the Neal family gathering and the reminders of his own parent's rejection of him, Alex is overwhelmed that Tris's mother made him a gift like this.

Good food was also a great help.

And they passed a very pleasant Christmas in Wales, vowing to return in the Spring when the weather was better. And that's when their love affair with their future home began.

#led zeppelin #jimbert #dollblr #tris/alex #creatable world #doll band #jimmy page #robert plant #I been reading Umberto Eco

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intrulogical · 10 months ago

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I’m curious to know, when you say Remus’s function serves like an alarm clock, do you think Remus is aware of/intentionally fulfilling that role? Because I have always interpreted it as, from his perspective, his role is simply to be c!Thomas’s creativity the same way Roman is. His version of creativity is just rejected by c!Thomas and the other sides (often for good reason, but sometimes not). Even though his ideas are sometimes dangerous or unrealistic, the role of creativity isn’t always to do everything that pops into your head. Roman has unrealistic ideas as well but because they’re not as upsetting to c!Thomas, they’re seen as fanciful rather than totally forbidden. A lot of what Remus wants is just for c!Thomas to censor himself less and explore darker, more mature themes in his art. Idk about him representing ‘repressed truths’ since intrusive thoughts are by definition not rooted in realistic conclusions or in what the individual actually wants. I def see what you mean about Remus serving as an alarm for Thomas’s mental state, especially in WTIT, but idk if I see Remus’s intentions in WTIT as being that complex and altruistic. Especially since he’s genuinely upset whenever c!Thomas and Logan ignore or defeat his creative inventions. (Also sorry if any of this comes off as confrontational, I genuinely love reading your analyses and I’m just curious to hear your perspective more!)

hello! no worries btw, idt this is confrontational at all! i find it to be an interesting point of discussion :3

the reason i entertain the idea of remus being repressed truths (or thoughts in general) is because i acknowledge remus is a faulty representation of intrusive thoughts, in a meta level. this episode was created before major discussions of what intrusive thoughts really means blew up on tiktok. even by how remus is executed as a character, it is clear to a lot of us that what he suggests isn't Just intrusive thoughts. rather he's a mix of that and impulsivity!

but for me, remus Has to be aware of and Cares for his role as a side of thomas. i expounded it more in my extensive orange side theory, but to reiterate: the baseline need of the dark sides is to get listened to, but because thomas has very bad black-and-white thinking, it's almost required that they be meticulous with their plan execution. in this case, remus kinda Has to get along to get what he ultimately wants: to be listened to.

i generally think all sides do things in the interests of thomas and themselves. i don't think it can be divorced from each other actually— their entire foundation of existence begins with their roles in connection to thomas.

it is still. a very open question to ask though about how does remus actually want to give back to thomas. when i say he's an alarm clock, i say that he's hyperaware of thomas and the sides' struggles and his presence means you should probably do sometjing about it. but then we don't actually know if the end goal is if he wants thomas to get better by acknowledging the intrusive thoughts and winding down, OR if thomas should truly follow through with these thoughts.

there's a lot of mystery when it comes to remus and his true intent. all i can say is that he does want the best for thomas in a way only remus sees fit. you asked if he was aware of his role outside of creativity and for me, yeah! i think there's too much scenes for insecurity callouts to the other sides for remus to be unaware of his role :3 man knows all your secrets! all kept hidden!

#asks #a little messy but im tired #not of the post just in general #my analysis

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edupunkn00b · 2 years ago

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French Kiss: Tale of the Revolution, Ch. 14: The Road Back

Colorized version of Fighting at the Hotel de Ville, 28th July 1830 by Jean Victor Schnetz. (embedded image description)

Prev - The Road Back - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

Logan leaned heavily against the side of the carriage, arms crossed over his chest. He’d angled the horses so they could wait in the shade until Janus to finally emerged. He kept one eye on the path from the palace entrance, the other on the steady march of the sun up to its late-June zenith. Janus, or rather, Patton, had gotten word to him that Janus had news to share and would finally be returning to him Paris. The message had said Janus would depart in the morning, so Logan had risen before the sun and made the journey out to Versailles, ensuring time for the horses to rest before the trip back in the hottest part of the day.

Patton had met him at the stables when he’d gone to water and rub down the horses. At first sight, the sweet little server had run up and flung his arms around him. “Oh, Logan, here, sit down.” He’d ushered Logan down onto a bench and pressed a cup of water into his hands.

“Really, Patton, I am quite alright,” Logan began, rising from his seat.

Patton stopped him with a gentle but firm hand on his shoulder. “Sit, if you please,” he murmured. “I'll care for the horses.” Logan’s resolve melted and he sat back, leaning heavily against the stable wall. He sipped at his water and covered Patton’s hand with his own.

“Thank you, Patton,” he murmured. The little server’s hand was warm, but not uncomfortably so and, with a pang, Logan realized just how much he’d missed the young man's sunny optimism.

“Oh, look out,” a passing stable hand muttered. “Prince Roman wouldn’t like to see you holding hands with his latest favorite.” He snickered and made a lewd gesture behind Patton’s back. “They say he doesn’t like to share.”

Logan’s head jerked up, eyes wide as he stared at Patton in alarm, but the little server shook his head, cheeks pinker than usual. “Only gossip. Prince Roman has been kind to me, little gifts of cakes and fruit. But that’s all it is.” He smiled and patted Logan’s shoulder as he stood. “Finish your water and I’ll get you more. You can tell me all about what happened in Paris when the assembly was dismissed.”

“Yes," he signed heavily. "There was… talk of marching to the King and demanding an audience. With or without his head attached to his body,” Logan began, voice low. “I managed to convince the loudest of them, Colére, to back down and reconsider the ramifications, but…” He sighed again and slumped against the wall for a moment. “It’s not going to take much to boil over.”

“We’ll just need to get a win, then, won’t we?” Patton looked up and shook out the towel he’d used on the horses and drew them over to a trough filled with clean water. “Go ahead, you two, have a good drink there,” he cooed at the beasts that dwarfed him.

Sidling close to Logan’s bench, Patton sat next to him. He gave Logan a little shrug, even the dark discussion unable to dull his optimistic grin. “We might be getting somewhere with Prince Remus.”

“What have you heard?” Logan asked, letting the horses’ nickering and sloshing in the water cover his words.

Patton grinned up at Logan. “It’s not what I’ve been hearing, but what Janus has."

The dissolution of the Assembly had led to a flurry of meetings between the King, Prince Remus, and the various ministers and advisors. Twice Patton had been assigned to stock the former King’s listening room and dutifully avoided meeting Janus’ eyes when he’d found him there, quill flying across his parchment, covering page upon page with the details of their discussions, schemes and counterpoints.

“He’s bringing it all with him to Paris,” he nodded, bouncing curls backlit with the hot midday sun just outside.

"How did he manage that?" It was all too good to be true.

“I think…” Patton traced the footprints in the dirt with his heel. ”I think that’s the why he’s asked to return so early.”

“Early!?” Logan sputtered. “He’s been gone for a fortnight!”

Patton’s smile was gentle as he covered Logan’s hand with his own. “It feels early to him. And to the Prince, I would expect.”

~~~

Logan’s head jerked up, ripped from his reverie by the sound of footsteps on gravel. He peered down the path and smiled, the icy iron bands that had wrapped around his chest since Janus stepped into the castle two weeks ago finally loosening. Though the figure was still too far away to see clearly, Logan saw that delicate stride in his dreams.

As Janus drew nearer, sunlight played across his features, and Logan was amazed as he always was at the way Janus managed to bring life to the painted corpse look so popular among the aristocracy. Though his lips and cheeks were dyed a most unnatural red, the upturned corners, the little quirk in his eyebrow, the light in his eyes… No amount of artificial makeup could hide that.

Janus’ smile was softer, more… more genuine than Logan had seen in a long, long time. His footsteps skipped over the gravel as he turned to look over his shoulder, casting a brighter smile and a little finger-waggle wave at a lower window. Janus lingered for a long moment before finally turning back, his cheeks impossibly brighter. His smile stiffened, for a just moment, when he caught sight of Logan.

He seemed to recover quickly, though, and by the time he’d reached the carriage, he hummed a light tune and passed his bag to Logan. Playing his part, the former priest bowed his head and accepted the heavy satchel with one hand and opened the carriage door with the other. “It is so good to see you again, Janus.” He kept his voice low so it wouldn’t carry back to the palace as he helped Janus into the cab. Even so, his voice cracked and warbled, surely just a bit of fatigue from the long journey and another poor night’s sleep. Once Janus was settled, he leaned over the window sash and pointed at the travel case already inside. “I brought your own clothes and face tonic,” He smiled up at Janus, convincing himself it was his fatigue that saw hesitancy in his friend’s hands as he reached for the bag. “You can get back to yourself. Patton’s waiting for us just past the last gate,” he whispered just before snapping the brogue foot shut. “He’s gotten quite familiar with the surrounding woods during your visit.”

“That’s very fortunate,” Janus murmured from the darkened cab. “And… thank you,” he added, smoothing down his waistcoat. “It will be good to discuss everything that’s transpired.” Logan’s eyes caught on Janus’ new silk gloves and the glint of gold peeking out from beneath his sleeve. The rest of his clothing and the buttery soft leather satchel Logan now carried were also new.

As was the light red mark just under Janus’ jaw, ill-concealed by his face powder.

“Indeed,” Logan murmured before he climbed up to the driver’s perch and urged the horses back down the path and away from Versailles.

~~~

A hundred or so yards past the last gate, Logan spotted Patton’s signal, that slightly too-regular to be natural dotted line of white stones along the edge of the path. He stopped the carriage and Patton’s cheerful face emerged from the thicket. “Thought that was you, Petit,” he murmured to the taller horse, stretching to scratch around her harness. The other horse snuffled at the wrapped package slung across his body with twine. “That’s not for you, Naif,” he smiled and favored the other beast with a pet as well. “That’s for Logan,” he murmured, laughter in his voice.

“Hey there, Logan,” he cheered quietly once he’d clambered up onto the driver’s perch. “Thanks for the ride,” he chuckled at his repeated joke once he’d settled. “I brought you something.” He set the hefty package between them on the bench. “Some bread and cheese and that jambon sec you like. Oh! And fresh fruit.” He reached into the large pocket on the side of his trouser leg and retrieved a small bottle of wine. “And another of these to share,” he said with a sheepish smile. “Prince Roman was very generous when he heard I was heading out for errands,” Patton smiled, blushing.

“This appears to be more than generosity,” Logan began carefully, frowning at the bounty Patton carried, the stable hand's words about the prince's favorite echoing in his ears.

“He fancies me,” Patton said matter-of-factly as he took the reins from Logan’s hands. “But he’s been respectful and has emphasized he expects nothing in return but my consideration.” He grinned at Logan, nudging the packet of food closer to him. “No need to worry, Logan, you know where my heart lies.”

The grumble in Logan’s stomach was likely audible to Patton, but he said nothing of it, instead he only grinned happily when Logan opened the packet and tore off a bit of the crusty loaf. “It’s still warm,” he murmured around a bite. They fell into a companionable quiet as he ate.

After several minutes, Janus slid open the tiny window between the driver’s perch and the compartment. His face shone, bright and clean, with a natural pink tinge on his cheeks and a slight darkening of his scar. “May I join you two?” he asked.

~~~

Janus waited until the carriage had turned away from the palace before he slowly removed the change of clothes Logan had so thoughtfully packed for him. He picked up his once-familiar breeches and blouse, the plain linen waistcoat he’d once been so proud of. He traced the seams, counting the buttons, almost reminding himself of his ordinary clothes. His ordinary life.

After he carefully unbuttoned the finery Prince Remus had given him and slipped it off, he smoothed down the brocaded silk, then folded and tucked it into the case. He dressed slowly, waiting until he had removed the fine silks to take off his wig and make-up. By the time he was done, Logan had already stopped the carriage and picked up Patton and he’d half-listening to their conversation as he dressed.

He nodded to himself when Patton mentioned Roman. The younger prince's interest had been obvious, and, as much as Janus could without revealing who the little blond server really was, had asked Remus what he knew. Apparently Roman said in private to his brother everything he’d said to Patton. Janus had pledged to himself to keep an eye on the younger prince, but had neither seen nor heard anything untoward.

He slid open the little window and smiled out at them. Out of his court clothing and back in his softer, sturdier wear, Janus was slowly getting back to himself. But each squeaking turn of the carriage wheels seemed to announce the growing distance between him and Remus, and it had become strikingly lonely in the compartment.

“May I join you?”

Logan covered his mouth with a napkin, and nodded rapidly. Patton eased the horses to a stop and Logan leapt down to open the carriage. “There’s no need to serve me out here, Lo,” Janus murmured, accepting his outstretched hand with a small squeeze. “Though I do appreciate it,” he quickly added when Logan's grip loosened and he looked away. At his words, his friend’s face shone again, clouds clearing after a storm.

The three men made room for each other on driver’s perch, with Patton insisting he keep the reins for a while. Sandwiched between them, he nodded to Janus. “It looked like you were privy to some interesting information,” he prompted and turned to Logan. “I can't count the number of times I saw you in the old King's listening room." He grinned at Janus, seemingly guileless eyes dancing. “How did you manage that?”

“Is this… is this true? It's not an exaggeration?” Logan reached across Patton to touch his hand, pride and hope painting his face. “You truly have earned his trust.”

“Well, y—yes,” Janus began. This wasn’t how he’d meant to tell Logan everything that had happened. To be sure, he hadn’t been certain how he was going to explain, but Patton’s exuberance seemed to have made the decision for him. “I… I demonstrated how much I trusted him, I suppose,” he said vaguely.

Logan’s hand on his stiffened. “What does that mean, Janus?” he asked, his earlier optimism hardening.

“I… Well, he saw my face. My scar and…” Janus’ voice trailed off. This was even more difficult than he’d expected.

“You were intimate,” Logan said, eyes flicking away from the few marks Janus had attempted to keep covered.

“Yes,” Janus nodded. Patton was silent, hands tight on the reins, tight enough Janus heard the leather crack. “And…”

“And?” Logan’s voice shook. They had not discussed this, they had not planned this. The scowl behind his words evidence that when Logan had assured him he would not pressure him into violating his own comfort for the cause, he hadn’t actually expected him to sleep with the Prince.

“And I told him my name.”

“You what?” Logan’s shout startled a family of rabbits browsing in the grass and he stood, wobbling on the perch to peer down the road behind them. Patton shifted the reins to one hand and reached for Logan’s arm, steadying him. “Are you completely mad? Impersonating a nobleman is grounds for execution!”

“Remus would never—”

“Oh, Remus. So much for 'The Prince.'" Logan's mocking tone seared his ears. "I suppose once you share his bed you might as well use his first name like he was some harlot you’d wrestled between the sheets.”

“Logan,” Patton hissed, but he continued as though he hadn’t heard.

“I cannot believe you would jeopardize the movement, jeopardize the mission, jeopardize your own safety simply because a pretty face looked your way!” He sat back down and glared at Janus over Patton’s head. “All soft words and kisses until he’s sucking on your neck!”

“Now, Logan, let’s—” Patton tried again.

“Or perhaps the pleasures of the flesh matter more to you than—”

“Logan!” Patton shouted and everyone froze. Even the horses stopped short, stamping their feet and snorting nervously.

“Janus, I—” Logan’s mouth worked but made no sound. Janus stared back at him, his scar tight and hot. The fire, the outrage he knew simmered beneath his friend's reasoned demeanor burned as it splashed over him. Patton avoided both their eyes and made quiet clicking sounds at the horses, calming them. Logan hung his head for a long moment before finally meeting Janus’ gaze. His eyes were glassy with tears. Janus looked away. “I apologize, Janus, I—I—I… I have no excuse, that was—I was…”

“Perhaps it would be better for everyone if I rode in the carriage the rest of the way,” Janus finally said without looking at either of them. Without another word, he slipped down from the perch and let himself into the riding compartment, snapping the door and the window shut right before his own tears fell.

#French Kiss: Tale of the Revolution #ts logan #ts janus #ts patton #ts remus #ts roman #sanders sides #french revolution #french revolution au #Father Logan Gérault #Janus Robespierre #Patton C��ur #Crown Prince Remus Capetian #Prince Roman Capetian #tw arguing #tw sex reference #back from the dead #i swear this story will end soon

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theinsanecrayonbox · 5 days ago

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huh, thought i'd read Wolverine; Revenge #2 already, but i have no review of it. so...lets play some catch up i guess

Wolverine: Revenge #2 and #3 double feature (yes #4 is out, but i want to do a side-by-side of the regular and redband, and i don't see redband #4)

and we're on tower, so enjoy the cut

Wolverine: Revenge #2

so we open mourning Capt and Bucky's deaths. Fury is a coward, Logan chews him out for it. everything is doom and gloom, so why not go on a murder spree right?

a murder spree that takes 3 months to start...in the Dakotas...mkay...i know it's not an important detail but why isn't Victor still in Russia with the rest of his gang surviving at the power plant, since that's supposedly the last safe place that life can survive long term? oh wait, that's the spoilers; he found Dani Moonstar and Forge...who have power...ok...

ok, so Logan was looking for some one that was supplying the two with power. ok that makes sense. 2 days later somewhere else though they're still looking for the source?? are they running extension cords over mountains or something? again i know, not an important detail, we are here for murder only. but it's interesting to see Forge doing what he ALWAYS does post-apocalypse, which is building a safe haven; will Forge ever get a different plotline? probably not

ok i'll give you, that is a funny joke

ah he was looking for Magneto's helmet because...psychic dampening i guess. would've been easier to forge a new one you know...

Logan tracks down Mastermind first

hello pot, have you met kettle

anyways, Logan asks where all his friends are since apparently he can only find Wyngarde here. Mastermind says Piotr called them all loosers and kicked them out of the club house. smart move. i bet Piotr would also have been smart enough to recognize Logan under that bedsheet; why did we think Mastermind was the head hauncho for this gang again? oh well, off-screen decapitation (in both versions); what a waste. however the redband does include a splash page of Wolvie holding up the severed head for the citizens of brainwashed city to admire. cool?

Logan asks Forge about his batteries, while Forge performs cyber-brain surgery to read Mastermind's memories. maybe telepaths can't read dead thoughts? you'd think someone would be able to though. anyways, they get Logan his trip advisor itinerary; Victor's in a desert close by, Wade's couch surfing who knows where, and Arkady's stuck close to where Piotr is. also Logan asked Forge to make him stuff while he was out planning his road trip...as he always does...geeze Forge is really getting the shaft here too

one week later, it's Vic's camping bbq we got in the preview pages. question: why is he still in his costume if he's all alone in the desert? wouldn't that get too hot? and i know it's not because "the costume is his true self" idea, because the writing is not that thoughtful when it comes to any character that isn't Logan. Victor with brown eyes though is very interesting. i will give though, their back and forth before the stabbing starts is good; it's not snarly frothing machoing like most of their dialog is as of late, it's a bit coy and very much "i know you know that i know' but still has the posturing...idk i just am ok with it

next 2 pages have major differences in panels, dialog, and blood splattering, and then the redband has an extra page where Victor rambles while running Logan's face over with the motorcycle. and then the next page has different dialog of course.

so Logan's bike had power-neutralizer in the lights, Vic's healing is turned off, Vic calls himself a wolf (wrong he is cat), and so Logan slashes Vic and....

that's it? we don't kill him in this book? o...kay...good thing we're doing a double feature

Wolverine: Revenge #3

so we open up...at border control. huh. well, i guess someone listened to my "no body on screen, then they ain't dead philosophy about characters since spoilers tell us that Vic is alive later in this. man, Logan is really bad at the revenge game.

so back to border control; oh it's not border control, it's a boat dock. gunrunners. ok, guess Logan can't go back the way he came over i guess (however that was).

Logan is headed for the power plant. and surprise Arkady! yay. despite the wrestling headgear, he does actually look good here. and his speech is also good. what starts to fall apart is the fact that they call his Death Spores a plague (wrong, *but* you can stretch is to be that for a metaphor/poetic reasons...) and the fact that Logan can cut through the Carbonadium coils like they're regular metal...or a turkey. yes, Carbonadium is weaker than Adamantium, but it shouldn't be able to tear through it like butter. you still have to work a diamond to cut a ruby after all. and Carbonadium is sort of radioactive to begin with, so one can't even argue that the radiation in the area is degrading it.

that being said...the visual of Logan strangling Arkady with his own coil is a good one...but the points for the good visual is lost when THAT is how he dies. it should REALLY take more to kill him than a little strangulation. and i guess you get at least half the point back, because again stringing him up by his coils like a wolf head on a stake is also a good visual commentary on Arkady's loss of personhood and only being defined by the weapon he was forced into becoming...that we fans attribute to the actions because you now the writers did not intend that at all.

ANYWAYS, i realize why i thought i'd read this already; i've seen nearly this whole issue in the tags lol so next stop on the revenge tour is Deadpool. they talk, Logan still pushes him into the vat of death after giving him false hope at redemption. one could argue that is also some good commentary about Wade's character, seeing as he's always reveling in doing badguy stuff, but lauds the anti-hero flag so hard that everyone forgives his depravities without a second thought just like they do Logan's...

wait, did i just crack something? each of them are facets of Logan. Sabes is his feral nature, and the fact that he lives is the fact that it's always there, always in the background, he can't beat it because he is it. Arkady is the fact that he was turned into a weapon against his will, and the constant noose that event has hanging over his entire life. Wade is how he's constantly seeking redemption, but always throws it away because he doesn't feel like he's worthy of it, yet will continue to beg and ask for it. and Piotr is his holy-than-though lofty ideals that he is right, even when doing bad things, except this time the bad things do not end up in the right. huh...

ah, ahem, anyways, redband has an extra splash page of Deadpool melting in the reactor. fun!

so Logan goes and digs a grave outside of Piotr's house. they fight. i can buy that Adamantium would cut through Piotr's metal skin, but his bleeding metal goo?? he's not Mercury guys, wasn't it that he just grew metal plating, or his skin because living steel? he's not Emma where his whole molecular structure changes, he should still have red blood. and it's not like it's silver goo in the regular book and red in the redband, it's silver in both versions. he rips off his arm though, so that is fun...until Logan just skewers Piotr through the head with his good arm. Piotr drops head, Logan reattaches his arm that heals back together quite quickly (thought that major amount of tissue damage would take longer than 3 seconds but ok). redband has an extra page with a large panel of non-metal Piotr now oozing red guts and then Logan picking him up; this isn't anything special, adds nothing but to the rating.

and...that's it. Logan says everything is over...except we have like 2 more issues, and we know Vic is still alive and the Omega Clan shows up. so...yeah...

well, overall...it's Wolverine: Revenge, it's not that good and it's not really that fun. it's still nice to look at, when it's not overly saturated in gore. #2 showed that the bonus content in the redband can actually add to the story, whereas #3 is on par with #1 wherein it only added extra gore really, which i KNOW is the point, but my point is it's interesting to see how adding in extra content shifts the formatting and does actually affect the story.

anyways, i eagerly await having access to both versions of the next ones, because i am VERY interested to know why and how the Omega Clan is here, and why Black is now a guy, and what else Victor has going on

#kp reads comics #kp rants about comics #spoilers #review #wolverine: revenge

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the-firebird69 · 28 days ago

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So our son is nailing it down he says no it's the the mild Ferrari the spider 430, and it is the Lamborghini the mild one that there's only one place that makes Lamborghini kit bodies it's like duraplastic or something, and then there were some others that were not massively aggressive but they're very fast cars but they are like these two the Ford GT is one of them and there's a model that's in between the old one and the new one and you modify it a little bit, the woman who was hit was revived she's Asian and she said tell him thank you and I said they're right there and I just said expedience is the best measure meeting there ideas to keep you around to keep too many from coming in but they were doing it before I said that and she asked what it was and it's true she said but really so she said who would do that on our side that they wouldn't it's a guy lost the paper with his group does that but no more so the Mac proper believe it or not how to get the furnace here they tell you up and you can't get heavy here or spaceships and she said wow that's the idea I said yeah you need to go home right now if you would so we heard she went home and it's Japan they did the right thing

And he showed them cutting in a person and having some mac proper and he says I'll be back for the next lesson in a big gust of wind and he was out of there yeah that's my husband he's a little arrogant but okay Hera says

Wow he is you just going to stand there and tell me you're coming back cuz of the sword but it's kind of a freak and by that time would be hard to cut him or anything yeah his uncle's pretty tough you hit it and just doesn't go in so it's really weird this this sore cuts anything

Emperor of Japan

And Empress of Japan and you saved my life he says wow okay no wonder it got out and it was still yukio probably yeah different girl in the Senate I don't think I'd be there not these days and what a nightmare these guys suck you want them to have Lamborghinis and he says well you know they really don't using that well and your little buddies go out there and screw around with them and I think they're everything which is better than what they're doing and we end up fighting them and you guys do too we fight the max and it's better than being sedentary and then actually they'll win by doing it and Max think they'll win by doing it and we know that it's very true so we're going to help out and we have some cars you see them and they're cool looking so shut up the road at all damn it

Yukio

Most of our cars are sports cars and they're fast and a supercars are faster you look at it that way yeah the engines are too small we don't weigh anything

Logan and yeah my version of it most of the time I play opposite it was not true

Really most the time it's BG I have my own character who is not him and we usually fighting yeah

Emperor of Japan

We're going to go ahead with this idea they haven't knocked down frame that they can use we have suggested engine they like and they have tested it in the past and they have the data it works and they didn't use it they like the panel idea they like the both idea they like the idea of sending to people it's like Ikea postgrad and people look at it that way. It looks like a clone hit but it's not really it's a Mac proper hit they want to get the foreigners in after the funny corners and they'll be tied up and they won't be able to get there heavy in and then America will win in the cavern fight and they're very angry because you might mess up their Saturn problem they cost. They checked and they found out who she was they had to help her and yeah real fast and the people who did it or in the movie saying that they're Tommy f people and they're not

It is Tommy f and they're the ones who did it no but this is why would they do it

These ideas are really really good and you don't need a donor car and it costs very little money to build but they don't take it to work they tried it on all these supercars and it didn't do anything so we're wondering what we could do he took that three wheeler and turned it into the Vader and he wants to turn one into another vehicle and BG says not really but he does like the idea the newer ones have bigger motors and it would be the kilowren and the woman wanted something different but really it has a different look and it will be really fast and you leave like 80% of it intact and the rear axle would be independent suspension and it's not hard to do and it'll be a simple kit and it would handle better than the other one and people would love it we think this is our son's first car. Usually are stuff where you start from scratch doesn't work it's like a new car and they push it out unless you make something really weird like you wanted to to make the mini Lambo and mini Ferrari and Becca wants one and he says I'm going to race you in the Ferrari because that's my papa and he's getting beaten down out of it and all sorts of things from you guys a little in the Mac proper and she goes I think you're on and she laughs and says I know what I want to get she has this mini Porsche he says that's also my papa and she says oh so Hera is smiling and she says it's Lamborghini and you can probably beat him so we are going to start the mini idea and we're going to start this other idea where we make the knockdown and that was that that would be for the mini cars he says we need to start with something more ambiguous like a mini boxster and call it like the boxer and it's kind of a funny idea and it wouldn't look silly cars like that BMW has one portions one Ferrari does not have to have a TT there's there's a few other cars though to do and it's a good idea that would be very fast but not too fast then his other idea he thinks will work is to make some sort of like standard sports car like the AMC company did. And it would be like a mini replica of some kind of sports car like we were thinking just now but the Porsche boxster the new one looks too hot and the older one kind of looks odd so we're thinking about what we could use and it it's actually the better idea you can't go ahead and make the car out of something new and you can't make it out of something too hot and it's really impossible these days

Thor Freya

It's a frustrating topic but it's good for us to do it should not be this frustrating

Hera

Yeah we can see stuff and we get it and it's helpful

Nuada Ariana

We're going to roll but we need to say we're going to look at this cuz every time we go through it we get all sorts of different answers

From these guys you know what their plan is but doesn't make sense or avoiding his cars like the plague

He says they come out and crowd in them but it's a clone he says that's what they do and it is true

Posieden and Goddess Wife

Olympus

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beaft · 2 years ago

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recommend some horror?

aha!! i am glad you asked (no really, i am, thank you for giving me the opportunity to be loud about my favourite genre). here is a non-exhaustive list of some of my personal favourites:

books

-the ballad of black tom by victor lavalle (retelling of lovecraft's "the horror at red hook" by a black author, i could talk about this one for hours suffice to say it's Very Good)

-pet semetary by stephen king (i have a love/hate relationship with mr king but i think this is one of his better books)

-the haunting of hill house by shirley jackson (actually, just about anything by shirley jackson, my personal favourite book by her is "we have always lived in the castle")

-beloved by toni morrison (it's not exactly horror, but i have to put it here anyway because it's too good not to)

-things we say in the dark by kirsty logan

-tell me i’m worthless by alison rumfitt

-house of leaves by mark z. danielewski (i detest this book. yes it's still one of my top favourites and no i will not be taking questions at this time.)

-my heart is a chainsaw by stephen graham jones

-literally anything by robert aickman

movies

-pan’s labyrinth (historical fantasy-horror, visually stunning, one of my favourite movies of all time)

-lake mungo (australian found footage horror about ghosts and grief)

-the texas chain saw massacre (not as gory as the title might suggest)

-the wicker man (the original version, unless you’re in the mood to see nicolas cage at his nicolas cagiest)

-jacob’s ladder (beautiful, eerie, hallucinogenic, you will not know what’s going on for most of it and that’s honestly kind of the point)

-carrie (the sissy spacek version NOT the one with chloe moretz)

-the ritual (it's not a perfect movie but the creature design is WONDERFUL)

-alien (grr! i'm gonna getcha! i'm the alien! and so on)

-nosferatu (both versions are excellent, but i am particularly partial to the 1979 one with klaus kinski as the vampire)

-whistle and i’ll come to you (unsettling short film based on an m. r. james story)

-hereditary (this one's best if you go in blind, but i realise that’s probably difficult since a lot of it has been memed to hell and back)

-the thing (sci-fi thriller/body horror movie set on an isolated arctic research base)

-don't look now (based on a daphne du maurier short story; light on the horror but heavy on the uncanny)

-cabin in the woods (comedy-horror) okay this one is kind of a guilty pleasure for me but it does have some clever moments and it’s genuinely very fun to watch

-silent hill 2006 (another guilty pleasure, it is very much not a good movie but also i've seen it like 7 times, so.)

-ginger snaps (the close relationship between a pair of misfit sisters is tested when one of them starts going through puberty, and also incidentally becomes a werewolf. similar vibes to jennifer's body although i personally prefer this one)

-penda’s fen (startlingly ahead of its time – it’s basically a coming-of-age story about a gay teenager in rural england with a tasty slice of religious/folk horror)

-crimson peak (love letter to the "gothic melodrama" genre)

-us (i personally preferred it to get out, but they’re both amazing; i haven’t seen NOPE yet but i hope to soon!)

tv shows

-castlevania (based on the video game, vampires + religious horror, gorgeously animated, unexpectedly funny)

-the terror (true-ish story of a doomed voyage to the north-west passage) (the demon bear may or may not be historically factual) (we just don't know)

-twin peaks (idk if it counts as horror but i’m putting it here anyway. it’s not for everyone but it occupies a special place in my heart)

-in the flesh (again, not quite horror, but there are horror elements, and i am putting it here because it’s both a pleasingly original take on the zombie-apocalypse genre and a beautiful queer love story. it got cancelled halfway through its run and i will never stop being salty about it.)

-the enfield haunting (three-part tv drama) (much better than the james wan movie) (not that that’s hard)

podcasts

-the magnus archives (do not ask me about this show unless you're prepared to hear me yell about it for Ever and Ever and Ever)

-alice isn't dead (lesbian trucker searches for her missing wife amidst various spooky happenings)

-a scottish podcast (washed-up radio DJ decides to become a phony paranormal investigator to make some extra cash, but his scheme goes awry when he stumbles on a genuine paranormal event)

-i am in eskew (man attempts to leave city, is unsuccessful)

message me if you want trigger warnings or a more detailed description for any of these!

#horror tag #replies #recommendations

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evergreenstringbean · 3 years ago

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Must Be a Dream

Post-WTIT oneshot after Logan sinks back to his room.

(Read to the end for a quick lil note!)

Link here to read on AO3

Logan’s alone, but not completely.

He sits in the dark corner of his room reserved exclusively for such a time as this. His body is nestled uncomfortably where the two walls meet, and perhaps if he was thinking clearly he’d grab a pillow or something to support his back. Instead, he makes no effort to move as the dim whir of a computer provides the little amount of noise to keep his ears from ringing.

“Why won’t they just…listen?” he asks himself quietly. Maybe if he says it aloud, he can come up with a logical answer. Maybe he can trace back the reasons why they choose to ignore him to something he had done or said. Maybe it has nothing to do with them at all.

Maybe it’s him.

They ignore the truth because they can’t stand being wrong.

Logan squeezes his eyes tight in a futile attempt to block it out. “That’s not it-”

That’s precisely it, Logan. You know it. They block out logic to stay in their own precious bubbles. You’re like a poison to them.

Poison. Is that what he is? A slow-acting poison seeping into everyone’s minds and corrupting them? Has his mind been clouded by a haze of his own opinions this entire time? How long?

…How long has he been killing his friends?

But can they even be called friends? They shut you out. Cast you away, talk over you in discussions.

“Shut up.”

You know it’s true. Hell, they call you names and dismiss your purpose to your face!

“Stop it-”

They aren’t your friends, Logan. Friends don’t do that.

“Enough!” Logan yells, the force of his outburst knocking him even further back into the corner. For the first time since he’s returned to his space, he catches a glance to the other side of the room. Admittedly, seeing a version of himself with his face contorted into an knowing smirk still made him uncomfortable after all this time. But Logan is a side of knowledge and centers himself with the undeniable facts.

Roman and Remus are not the only twins, however fortunate they are to have split.

That’s what they need to see. They need to witness the rage. The real us.

Logan scoffs and pulls himself to his feet. “There’s no us. You’re barely real.”

Low blow, Lo. I’m as real as the next side.

“That’s a bit oxymoronic,” he mutters to himself. He’s not entirely sure if it’s a logical urge or purely to drown out the painfully honest words spoken by the side lounging on the bed. Crossing his arms, he watches the other flip a coin over and over in the air. His counterpart’s laughter sounds vaguely of morse code, and if Logan listens closely he swears he only hears it spell out “SOS”.

I don’t understand your reluctance. They’ve all made you feel this way.

“…They’ve all made me feel,” Logan corrects, the odd blend of heartache and anger bubbling up with a medley of emotions he either can’t comprehend or refuses to acknowledge.

One of the downsides of quick recollection is how easily Logan brings up every time the others had spoken over him or silenced him. The memories blend together and fill his ears with echoes of harsh words thrown at him over the years. It’s deafening.

Until it isn’t.

We can fix this.

“We will not be doing anything.”

Then I suppose you’ll just have to live with being ignored for the rest of your existence. I hope the loneliness isn’t too soul-crushing.

Logan wants to ignore him. He wants to look away from the unruly version of himself who’s grin appears more malicious the longer they share a glance and return to the heaps of work at his desk. But the tail end of the other’s words hit him and he has to take a moment to reflect on the nights spent hovering over piles of work that often go unnoticed by the other sides. All the data he analyzes that’s never worth it in the end. The laughter shared by a group he once thought he could never slip away from. It’s only now that he realizes he’s further from them than ever.

It’s freeing, isn’t it?

Logan doesn’t move. He can’t.

With a sigh, his counterpart approaches, bright eyes looking into Logan’s dull ones.

You know the right decision. Choose wisely.

By the time Logan blinks he’s alone again. It’s not a shock, but for as much as he despises the side Logan sometimes appreciates the visible company.

However, this just gives him more time with his thoughts. More time to dig through his memories for more moments of being interrupted and stepped on. Who are they to shut him out like this? Do they not notice he’s been different? Do they even care?

Anger burns hotter than the pain and Logan wants to scream. He’s right. Friends don’t do that. How could he allow something as trivial as faux friendship distract him from the things that truly matter?

It’s time.

Logan doesn’t even try to argue. Instead, he reaches up to undo his tie and promptly yanks it to the floor.

“I think you’re right. Let’s go.”

Logan’s alone, but not completely.

------------

Wooo I wrote a thing!! Guys I remembered how to write!!! For the first time in like six months!!!!!!!

Huge credits to @becamoonsy for the encouragement to get back into writing. This isn’t my best (or even that good) but it helped fix my writer’s block so damn it I’m posting it!!

#sanders sides #ts spoilers #sanders sides spoilers #wtit spoilers #sanders sides fic #logan sanders #ts logan

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starleska · 3 years ago

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when Logic twists: an analysis of Logan, cognitive distortions, and a future Side

spoilers ahead! this is a little deep-dive into some foreshadowing in the latest Sanders Sides episode, and what i believe the team are going for in terms of Logan’s arc. just some thoughts i had after the episode - i hope you enjoy, and would love to hear your thoughts too :) tw for discussion around mental illness, trauma, abuse, intrusive thoughts, therapy, etc.

so, we all know that Thomas does a marvellous job portraying difficulties with mental health. he uses interactions between his Sides to carve out fun stories that dramatise the the internal struggles which come with facing complex situations, including those which arise from your specific history and mental illnesses. the writing behind Sanders Sides often uses consideration of real symptoms and therapeutic techniques in order to impart useful advice to the audience who may be struggling with similar issues. with all of this in mind, i thoroughly believe that a good chunk of you are correct about this new Side (foreshadowed in Logan’s eyes) being Wrath, or some variant of Stress or Anger, and here’s why:

Logan is the side of Thomas which is constantly needing to pick up the slack. not only does he spend a good deal of his time de-escalating conflict between the other Sides, he is constantly letting his own dreams (and consequently, needs) fall by the wayside to comfort, validate and assist Thomas' overall desires. we even literally see him benched during the court case with Janus - his input is considered unimportant unless he is deemed as the voice of reason. with this understanding, Logan is viewed by the other Sides as a Side who doesn’t need help. He’s Logic, so they believe he always knows what is appropriate, and how to control himself - or even that he doesn’t need to control himself at all. yet i don’t believe this to be the case, and i think ‘Working THROUGH Intrusive Thoughts’ foreshadows this in an intriguing way: by utilising the dynamic between Logan and Remus. for context, i am speaking as an individual who suffers from Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), a form of PTSD. whilst the Thomas we know in the Sanders Sides universe is of course somewhat sanitised and simplified for the easier imparting of moral lessons, we know that this Thomas suffers from issues with intrusive thoughts, low self-esteem, and high anxiety. whether or not these can all be attributed to an underlying condition is irrelevant, but what is intriguing is whether these symptoms are being exacerbated by traumatic, triggering or otherwise stressful events affecting Thomas’ life - which, based on the direction ‘Working THROUGH Intrusive Thoughts’ went (using the relationship with Nico as a conduit), i think is true. when you experience a number of traumatic events or an acute amount of stress, your Logic can become faulty. let’s think about Logan not as a super-genius who just knows what is the correct thing to do all of the time: his knowledge comes from a bank of information and experiences, which he constantly uses to provide a ‘rational’ stance next to the more ‘emotional’ traits of each Side. yet Logic relies on evidence in order to build up this ‘rationality’. let’s think about a scenario wherein you are told every day by someone that you are ugly. now, if this occurred later in life, your Logic might have already rationalised that this is not the case - that you are beautiful just as you are, that this person is seeking to hurt you, that they are projecting, etc. your Logic would make those reasonable counterpoints based on past experience. however, if you were told by multiple people throughout your life, every day, that you are ugly - say, from caregivers, or close friends - you would internalise ‘i am ugly’ as part of that internal Logic. in the first scenario, you would be able to accurately evaluate the thought, ‘i am ugly’ as a cognitive distortion. however, in the latter scenario, you may be unable to, because you have this bank of ‘evidence’ that other people perceive this as reality. even if those people are abusers, or have an ulterior motive, the notion will be internalised and become your reality - so your Logic will say, ‘i am ugly, based on all of the evidence.’ i find this interesting because in this latest episode, they specifically had Logan call attention to cognitive distortions. we must remember that Logan is a part of Thomas. this is Thomas attempting to rationalise with himself, to implement mindfulness and CBT techniques which he knows to be successful, because they have worked in the past and he has it on scientific authority that they help with intrusive thoughts. but this leads us to a question: what happens when you experience so many traumatic events, or so much stress, that your Logic turns against you and begins to validate your intrusive thoughts? imagine for a moment Logan’s awesome rational power - but levied in support of all of Thomas’ deepest fears. in my own experience with CPTSD, a horribly thorny mental trap is the one you fall into when you start down the path of ‘i must be a horrible person, just like they said. i must have deserved everything done to me. look at all of the evidence.’ these thoughts often appear rational due to the intense nature of the sufferer’s pain, particularly if that pain is repeated or prolonged. i believe that Logan’s outburst, paired with Thomas’ fretting over not receiving a call back from Nico, are supposed to represent the building stages of this mental trap. such thoughts are difficult to emerge from, but they become even more difficult to deal with when met with a powerful emotion: Rage. if you have cause to think thoughts of the ‘i am a disgusting human being’ variety thanks to trauma, stress or similar negative events, often there is a good deal of pent-up Rage stored alongside. justifiable Rage, one might say - it certainly feels so in the mind of someone who has suffered so terribly. if one is prone to hating themselves, feeling inadequate or other fertile breeding ground for intrusive thoughts, they may also sometimes snap into the opposite extreme - becoming infuriated by everything that has happened to them, and that they are still needing to deal with yet more pain in the present. this is something i have suffered from personally: when mixed with trauma, it is equal parts emotional dysregulation, and being triggered by something. you might be enRaged by the idea that you were ever ‘passive’ as a victim of something terrible, and want to ‘fight back’. in other words, the emotional state of your Rage will feel justified - and this can cause you to engage in some deeply destructive behaviours. this is why i believe this new Dark Side will be Rage (or an equivalent). Logan’s ‘STOP IGNORING ME!’ speaks of a breaking point brought on by years of fixing other people’s problems, only to receive very little in return. there’s a misconception that people who are ‘good’ at handling stress or fixing other people’s problems (i.e., not showing much of the strain) are simply less stressed as a whole, and therefore should be saddled with yet more stress. Logan’s screaming at Remus, and Remus’ delight at Logan’s response, shows us that Logan is exhausted from all of the hard work that he’s had to do in order to fight Thomas’ intrusive thoughts and cognitive distortions, alongside the massive amount of stress in his life. likewise, by giving into his impulsivity and opening up more opportunities for further stress, Thomas has allowed Logan - and his Logic - to become vulnerable to Remus and intrusive thoughts. Logan may have successfully been able to dispel the intrusive thoughts which had no basis in reality (for instance, a murderer hiding in Thomas’ closet) - but what happens if Thomas is given validation for an intrusive thought? in other words - what if Logan feels he has reason to listen to Remus? i believe this Rage has been simmering within Thomas for a long time, and his debut is going to be explosive. there are lots of ways this debut could be written; some have theorised that Logic and Rage will be a kind of antithesis to the Creativitwins, wherein the two are fused as Thomas has internalised his Rage as having a Logical root. this would have Rage not as a separate side, but a kind of version or alternate mindset for Logan, a bit like how he was when in Virgil’s room. i would not be surprised at all for this episode to include both Remus and Janus - Remus, revelling in the intrusive thoughts which Logan/Rage is now allowing to fly free, and Janus, delighting in Logan/Rage’s validation of destructive behaviours, which may well include Deceit. i could also see Virgil being drawn in by this irresistible combination of Anxiety-fuelling thoughts - intrusive thoughts inspiring inadequacy, Deceit inspiring fear of being found out, and the terror of Logic being twisted to validate every fear Virgil has ever had for Thomas. you know when someone has hurt you really badly, and so in your head you come up with countless (awful, unrealistic, hurtful) ways to ‘get back at them’? that’s what i think the next Sanders Sides episode is going to be like. of course, like Anxiety, Intrusive Thoughts and Deceit, Rage will have his uses too. i believe, if any of this theorising is correct, that the next Sanders Sides episode will follow a narrative discussing if Rage is justified when one is hurt to a massive extreme, and what Logic can one follow when it backs up every destructive impulse. are you being Logical if you are full of Rage? basically, i think Logan (influenced by a breaking point and giving over to Rage) is going to do everything in his power to be destructive, under the idea that it is the only Logical thing to do. i believe he will fall to the horrific power of cognitive distortions and mental illness, and that the other Sides will need to use their strengths to bring him back. anyway, that’s all my thoughts! my apologies for any inaccuracies, or if anything in here was upsetting. i’d love to hear what you think about this, and your own theories! :D take care 💏

#sanders sides #sanders sides spoilers #logan sanders #remus sanders #thomas sanders #starleskatalks

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hageny · 3 years ago

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Succession Thoughts: Gerri x Roman

AN: Credit goes to @thinkingfixatingobsessing for the idea for point number one in this post. Also, this post is my lengthiest yet, but I promise it’s worth the read, lol.

1. Come Over?

This moment between Roman and Gerri is a small one, but presents an interesting thread that starts in this episode--Vaulter--and gets threaded into their phone sex scene in Safe Room. During his time working through the documents and foundations of Vaulter, Roman is stuck in the middle of the proxy battle and feeling the heat of the moment, which comes to a head in this scene. We see him wrestling with himself about what to do, throwing his phone a pathetic glance, hesitating, and then finally deciding to call Gerri for help. He divulges to her that he essentially has no clue what to do and throws out a weak ‘pivot to video’ idea that Gerri instantly reminds him was tried by the Vaulter team already and presumably fell flat. Finally, Roman breaks and asks her meekly, “Can you just come over? I want you in the room.” This is interesting because it is one of the first scenes where the show establishes the fact that Roman seeks out Gerri for comfort. This, of course, comes on the heels of their trip to Japan, so we can deduce that Roman has realized that Gerri could’ve screwed him but didn’t, and sees how he was exposed to her nurturing side when he needed it most. What’s interesting is how the dialogue in this scene mimics what comes later. He first asks her for her help, and when she balks at his request, he immediately says, “Yeah, could--yeah--fuck you!” and hangs up on her. The move from gentle and comforting to caustic is an interesting one, but it’s fascinating because for once it isn’t built into the scene to showcase that Roman needs degradation to achieve sexual pleasure. Here, he flies off the handle at Gerri, but when we think about this scene the reason why is obvious and not tied to sex: Roman gets angry because in his one weak moment the response he receives is not the sympathetic one he wants, and so he pivots back to caustic to shield himself later on. He knows that should Gerri brings this up later he can tell her he was fucking with her and didn’t mean it, but in truth, he did mean it--he did want her and need her, and Gerri didn’t understand this, and was too busy with things on her end to meet him where he needed her. Part of Roman’s hang ups, sexually, are tied to the degradation he experienced as a child, but there is also a link between his need for degradation and his realization that he never got the comfort he needed, so seeking insult was easier. He is a walking example of the quote, "All attention is good attention.” Because Roman never received the comfort he desired, he shields himself from rejection by pretending to be hardier than what he is and striving to be insulted, because to him, at this stage, it’s all the same. He could get a hug, but getting walloped and getting off are faster so he settles for that instead. This thread is later carried into the ‘shirt-button’ scene in Hunting, where Gerri walks up to Roman’s room to look in on him. Now, she has the understanding of him that is necessary to respond appropriately, and instead of berating him for being a mess she comforts him, and he responds not by pushing her away but accepting her gentility, however brief. Roman doesn’t so much need humiliation to get off--he only needs it because it’s all he thinks he deserves, and it’s served him well enough so far. It’s the key to his inability to have sex with his other girlfriends: it’s not that he can’t, it’s that sex requires intimacy and sensitivity, and Roman isn’t close enough to himself emotionally to comfortably tap into these feelings and deliver.

2. Rejected.

As I’m re-watching the series in preparation for Season 3, there is a thread which is established early on between Kendall and Gerri that begins in Lifeboats and is expounded upon later in the show. We see Kendall at the helm of Waystar during Logan’s absence as he makes his infamous ‘Lifeboats’ speech, gathering his team together and asking for their help in moving Waystar into the future, inviting them to pool their ideas and deliver them to him, essentially attempting to depart from his father’s style of management by ostensibly establishing an ‘open door policy’ with his team. This move, however, is ironic, as immediately after this scene we have the scene between himself and Gerri, pictured above. Really, in hindsight, Kendall is as manipulative as Logan, but he is weaker in the sense that he is not as combative openly, and therefore comes across as a softer, better version of his father, which isn’t always true to his nature. We see Gerri follow Kendall after the meeting and tell him, “I want to talk options to you, okay? I’ve got some thoughts I’ve been working on for a long time--”. Kendall immediately interrupts her and replies, “I don’t want the sloppy seconds, Gerri. I’m taking five to think big.” When she presses the issue again, promising that she has some good ideas, he flat out rejects her without even listening to her, and it is here where we see shades of his father in himself. It’s also what makes Gerri’s manipulation of Kendall easier later on. We can deduce that this is not the first time that Gerri has been pushed to the sidelines by one of the Roy family members, and at a time when help is sorely needed--and on the heels of Kendall openly asking for it--he outright rejects Gerri’s and essentially makes it clear to her that her help is second-rate help--only useful to him when it can get him out of a tight squeeze, but not so useful that he believes her worth listening to when the stakes are higher. This ties into her relationship with Roman as well. While Roman is always showcased as being the one who needs her, if we pay attention we can clearly see that Gerri’s need for him is equal to his. Gerri has been a part of Waystar for decades--at one point in Pre-Nuptial commenting to Kendall that she and Frank are reminiscing about their first visit to Caroline’s estate in 1986--making her one of the most senior members of staff. But what she has--it is implied--never had is someone who genuinely valued her ideas and her input. This is also what she gets from Roman. She tells him to do something, he does it. She throws an idea out, he listens. He becomes her voice, often using the phrases, “Gerri thinks” or “Gerri says” during Season 2. Through Roman, we hear Gerri, and through Gerri we see Roman’s potential. They carry each other. Roman is always depicted by his family as being stupid, and yet who was smart enough to seek out advice from the one person with the most experience at Waystar aside from Logan? Not his siblings. Because they believe they know better, their ego will be their downfall.

3. In Logan’s Shadow.

In Sad Sack Wasp Trap, we see shades of Gerri’s eventual betrayal of Kendall begin to take shape. Having tasted his first drops of power, real power, Kendall’s ego immediately starts to swell in little ways. We hear him telling Jess that he wants to do a run on the late-night TV circuit, having gotten the idea while traveling in L.A. Gerri reacts to this with disbelief, and Kendall retorts, “What does that mean? I was fuckin’ king of the Lampoon.” Kendall’s use of the word ‘king’ is used to purposefully emphasize the way he has begun to see himself--finally in the position he desired for so long, finally out of his father’s sphere of influence. His high is interrupted by Jess’ telling him that his father has dropped into the office and wants to see him. When Kendall asks Gerri if she knew about this, she denies this, but when he says, “Shouldn’t he have told you?” all she does is shrug coolly in his direction. This begs the question: did Gerri really not know? On the surface, it seems obvious she didn’t, but we have to consider that this moment comes right after Kendall’s complete disregard for her in the previous episode. Gerri’s motivation to help Kendall would be at a fairly low point, and what could be more amusing to her than to watch him fall flat on his face so quickly again, especially considering Logan’s outrage at Kendall’s decision to bring Stewy in to help their debt issue. Maybe she genuinely didn’t know, but given what she does later on, it would seem pertinent to wonder.

4. Take the piss.

Later in Sad Sack Wasp Trap, Kendall finds out that his father has pissed on his carpet and brings Roman, Gerri, and Frank in to assess and discuss the situation. He starts by lecturing them about what could happen if people knew Logan had done this, pointing out that this bit of knowledge could spear the company’s already flagging public persona, and trying to use that as a way to keep his father from attending the RECNY ball. He tries to drop the responsibility for fixing the situation into Gerri’s hands, telling her she needs to talk to Logan and tell him that if he intends to come back he has to do so via the proper avenues, and that he can’t just show up on a whim. Gerri listens for a while, and eventually delivers a barb that is subtle but effective. She asks Kendall, “What did you do, Kendall, when you realized he’d done this?”, referring to Logan’s pissing incident. Kendall immediately falters, stuttering that he didn’t want to embarrass his father in front of Stewy and basically admitting he did nothing. The camera sweeps over her and Roman’s faces, and they give Kendall the same look, suggesting they are disappointed but not surprised at his ineffectiveness. This moment also mirrors what Roman does later in Vaulter, undercutting his brother in front of his father to get the result he wants. The point of Gerri’s remark is to showcase her opinion of him. To Gerri, Kendall is nothing but a papa’s boy with a golden spoon in his mouth, someone who wants the power but is unwilling to work for it. And who can really blame Kendall? Considering the way his father treats him, he has learned from Logan that working is one thing, but using a by-way to get to the top faster is better, and he attempts to see this come to fruition by taking control of a company he is ill-equipped to lead. Gerri’s disgust for Kendall is fairly obvious, but to Kendall’s great misfortune, he is a swimmer in a shark tank, completely out of his league in her waters. She is faster than him, more subtle, more cunning, and lacking in conscience enough that when she disposes of him later she feels no remorse. Kendall has bad traits but he is overall not a bad character, and we see his better parts shine when he is not chasing power. But to Gerri, his better characteristics are a moot point. She undercuts him later once again, and we see how she delights in what she’s doing, how his weakness and trusting nature to her are disgusting, and if anything make it easier for her to do what she does. While Roman makes her prove herself equal, playing with her, seeing if she can give back what he puts out, Kendall takes for granted her abilities, wanting only a menial servant, and sees himself eaten alive.

5. I Will Guide Thy Hand.

During the RECNY ball, we find out--via Connor--the Kendall has plans to make a retirement announcement in Logan’s presence, allegedly so he can usurp the throne for himself. Though Kendall later denies this, we do know that he does not want his father to speak at the ball. Allegedly, this is out of ‘good will’, his concern for his father and the company mainly influencing his decision, but truthfully Kendall is also motivated by a desire to take hold of a position his father always had at the ball--as a speaker--and be on the receiving end of the adoration Logan is so used to. He wants to be seen by the public the way his father is: competent, powerful, totally in control; he also knows that there is a chance that Logan will declare himself CEO again, knocking Kendall from his throne--which eventually comes to fruition. Gerri knows this, is smart enough to intuit why Kendall is afraid, and is calm when Kendall once again comes to her for assistance, wanting her to handle his father. Unlike earlier, she doesn’t throw any barbs his way. She calmly promises to talk to Logan about his supposed speech and to try to dissuade him--while not so convincingly claiming she knew nothing about the speech at all to begin with. Instead of doing what she promised, she walks over to Logan and simply tells him, “Good luck tonight. Gonna knock it out of the park.” She gives him the motivation he needs to move forward with his plans, especially at a point where his health is so precarious. Gerri knows this, knows Logan well enough to understand that a little reassurance will ensure that Logan will do as planned and follow through with his decision. We see her later in the episode watching the whole thing play out during Logan’s speech, a self-satisfied smirk on her face, already knowing the end from the beginning. What we’re witnessing is the blooming of the flower on the end of the thread that started when Kendall disrespected her in Lifeboats. All he had to do to save himself was listen to Gerri, and yet he chose not to, believing he knew better than her how to reposition Waystar and lead the company into the future. He, who has been to rehab, fallen prey to his addictions and vices, and only played in the big leagues when he wanted to while Gerri--and the other members of Waystar--had to be there regardless of the circumstances in their personal lives. Again we can’t solely blame Kendall--he is the person his father has allowed him to be. We can also see that what Kendall lacks is the thing that makes Gerri so capable of remaining in power--detachment. Gerri is emotionally detached enough to do her job well and not worry about what amoral things she does to maintain her position of power. This is another trait she shares with Roman, who, after hearing how beleaguered the employees of Vaulter are, still guts the company and costs them their jobs without a second thought to the damage he is doing. With regard to her relationship with Kendall, for Gerri destroying him is not only easy but pleasurable. She knows that Kendall stupidly trusts her, and will remain none the wiser to her duplicitousness, and so she operates in the background, doing what she can to ensure he will lose what is so precious to him because of her--all while believing she did what she could to help him. This theme reminded me of the movie The Witch, hence the title of this particular post. Thomasin ends up in the hands of the Devil at the end, and--believing he will give her what she wants--she gives her soul to him. Like Kendall, she doesn’t realize that the person who is giving her what she wants is really taking everything, and she, like Kendall, is left with nothing in the end. Am I comparing Gerri to the Devil? Only superficially. She is certainly not totally like Satan, but from what we see here, she has the ability to operate like him: swiftly and maliciously.

#gerri/roman #gerri x roman #gerri kellman #roman roy #succession #succession hbo #hbo succession #succession thoughts

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veronicamarsconfessions · 4 years ago

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Editor’s Note: TV moves on, but we haven’t. In our feature series It Still Stings, we relive emotional TV moments that we just can’t get over. You know the ones, where months, years, or even decades later, it still provokes a reaction? We’re here for you. We rant because we love. Or, once loved. And obviously, when discussing finales in particular, there will be spoilers:

There was a time when Veronica Mars’ legacy was that of a beloved cult show that was canceled too soon by network executives who didn’t understand it. With the arrival of a crowd-funded feature film in 2014, its legacy evolved as one of the first shows to see the benefits of a revival. Now, it simply brings thoughts of sadness, rage, and betrayal.

When Hulu first announced it was reviving the series for an eight-episode fourth season, the news was met with resounding joy from a vocal and passionate fanbase that had never given up hope it would return after the crowd-funded feature film reunited Kristen Bell’s Veronica, a pint-sized private eye with a sharp mind and even sharper wit, with her one true love, the reformed bad boy Logan Echolls (Jason Dohring). But the fire that had burned for more than a decade and twice-revived the show was suddenly extinguished in a single, heartbreaking, and wholly unnecessary moment when Logan was killed by a bomb left in Veronica’s car shortly after the couple exchanged wedding vows.

I can still remember the shock I felt when I reached the end of the screeners Hulu sent. The whole thing felt kind of surreal, like if I didn’t acknowledge what had happened out loud maybe it didn’t actually happen. But it did happen. And I’m still filled with a fiery rage and a deep sadness when I think about it now, nearly two years removed from the episode in question, because needlessly killing Logan was a betrayal of the worst kind. The character’s untimely demise felt engineered for nothing more than shock value, like it existed only to leave Veronica even more isolated and cynical. But the interviews that series creator Rob Thomas gave in the aftermath, in which he tried to defend the decision, revealed something much worse while only driving the knife he’d stuck in fans’ backs deeper.

“In order for us to keep doing these, I think it needs to become a detective show—a noir, mystery, detective show—and those elements of teenage soap need to be behind us,” Thomas told TV Guide of the decision to kill Logan, noting that he also hoped to take Veronica out of Neptune and on the road in potential future seasons. “I sort of viewed these eight episodes as a bridge to what Veronica Mars might be moving forward.”

Instead of being a bridge to the future, it was a bridge to a grave of Thomas’ own making. Not since How I Met Your Mother ignored literal years of character development to deliver a half-cooked series finale the creators had come up with several years prior has a show felt so out of touch with its characters, the story it was telling, and its fans. Thomas’ decision to kill Logan is the perfect example of a creator being unable to recognize their own biases to the detriment of their creation.

He wrongly believed that Veronica needed to be hardened by years of nonstop torment and trauma in order to prove she was a great detective whose story was worth continuing. In putting her through the emotional wringer (again) after spending the entire season attempting to dig into her flaws and determine the root of her problems, Thomas swiftly undermined his heroine and her trauma with one misguided act of devastating violence. The fact that Thomas then chose to also skip over Veronica’s grieving process entirely reveals how little he ultimately thought of Logan or Veronica’s relationship with him, which had pushed her to be better and work through her longtime trust issues.

It is common knowledge by now that Logan was not intended to be Veronica’s love interest when the show debuted, but the fans took to the character more than they took to Teddy Dunn’s Duncan “He Used to Be My Boyfriend” Kane, so the latter was jettisoned from the show after Season 2. And in the end, Logan turned out to be a much better partner and match for Veronica’s personality. So what’s truly unfortunate about Thomas killing Logan, and killing him so violently, is that his thought process during Season 4 has the potential to color everything that happened in the show up until the moment the bomb went off. There is also the issue that Thomas apparently believed that Veronica achieving some level of romantic happiness was a one-way ticket to the grave, as if shows like Friday Night Lights hadn’t already soundly debunked the myth that happy couples did not make great TV.

Obviously an emotional family drama does not play by the same rules as noir, but Veronica Mars had already proven that you don’t need to play firmly within the sandbox of the genre to excel creatively. So why should the more adult version of the show attempt to put itself back in the box to be confined to something more traditional or stereotypical? Furthermore, love and contentment are not character flaws or weaknesses. They are not an element of “teenage soap,” as Thomas put it. In fact, one could argue that by allowing herself to believe that she and Logan could have a happy future together regardless of everything she’d witnessed in her line of work, Veronica had shown more personal and emotional growth in the show’s fourth season than she had in the entire run of the series.

At the heart of the matter, though, is one simple, glaring truth: Logan’s death was a fundamental misreading of the entire Veronica Mars fandom and what they liked about the show. Storytelling should never be dictated by the fans and their desires—one of the loudest and most common complaints critics had about the movie was that it felt too much like Thomas was just giving the fans what they wanted rather than attempting to tell a good story—but when your fandom has dug their hands into the cold soil of the TV graveyard to raise your show from the dead, you should probably have a grasp on what exactly the fans like about it in the first place. After all, they’re the reason you still exist and will be one of the final arbiters of whether or not you get to continue to exist in the future. And the idea that fans would somehow be interested in watching a version of Veronica Mars in which Veronica was on the road, completely alone, and Logan was blown to bits is just a wild miscalculation.

This isn’t to suggest Veronica Mars could not ever survive without Logan. That would be to undercut the rest of the show and the woman Veronica has become since we first saw her cutting Wallace (Percy Daggs III) off the flagpole in the series’ pilot. But there is a difference in writing Logan out of the show’s ongoing story arc—his secretive Naval career offered the perfect out—and violently killing him in an attempt to shock viewers and show just how resilient your heroine is in the face of trauma. A survivor of rape who had to solve the murder of her best friend (Amanda Seyfried) while still in high school because the sheriff’s department was too inept to do it (or simply did not care to do it), Veronica had already been through more in her young life than anyone should ever have to live through.

Although Logan’s death led to her finally seeing a therapist, it seemed to be a one-time thing, so nothing has really changed. Veronica is still the same person she was before the show returned, except now she’s also a widow and Thomas has alienated an entire fanbase to the point that many fans, though likely not all, have no interest in revisiting her story. And they’re not likely to either, since Hulu chose not to move forward with another season.

So much for that bridge to the future.

#Veronica Mars #Rob Thomas #Jason Dohring #Logan Echolls #VMars #season four #news #roast that bitch motherfuckers

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anxiouspotatorants · 3 years ago

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heyy first off im obsessed w your account and the underdog quartet but also i feel like, with your new jess/paris playlist post, we need to acknowledge paris and jess’s first interaction when paris went into luke’s diner in “Richard goes to stars hollow” they had a very subtle interaction but he was clearly memorable enough to her to remember him and his name. I wonder if whenever paris when to stars hollow in the future she would look for jess what do you think

Thank you so much for this ask and the kind words!!! I’m obviously obsessed with UQ too, so finding more people who love that dynamic is just amazing!

Also yes we only had about two direct interactions between Paris and Jess but holy shit was the platonic chemistry there!! Paris bothering to remember him is something I would love to take as a sign that she was a Jess gal (especially since if you combine that with Keiko Agena saying she and Lane are team Jess, that means all my faves support my ship!)

Now for Jess and Paris specifically, I could honestly give you three different types of answers for this. First is that ASP and company didn’t feel like exploring that dynamic, so Paris probably doesn’t think about Jess or seek him out in the future, especially not after Rory’s break up. But that take is boring so let’s go for wild headcanons!

The second approach is on the more realistic side. I bet that Paris would avoid bringing up Jess every time he popped into her mind in front of Rory, but she would be too desperate to finally have that decent conversationalist to not bug Rory about him. She probably wouldn’t head over to Stars Hollow of her own accord considering how disappointed she was with the research results for that article, but she would ask about when Jess could come over to Hartford so she could rip his literary takes to shreds at a nearby cafe or at the elder Gilmores. Once Jess and Rory were a couple, Paris would double down on her requests but probably only have them met once or twice (Jess has work, Rory still has a tendency to compartmentalize parts of her life etc.). Post-breakup Paris would take Rory’s side, but secretly be sad to see a potential friend go. She probably felt like this guys really could be something, not just for Rory who seemed to finally get decent taste in boys, but for Paris who was finally starting to get more true friends. She carries a secret team Jess torch for the rest of the series but hides it in general criticism of any and all guys Rory is involved with.

On to approach three, aka balls to the walls whatever I want!! Hold on to your hat because this will be a long and windy ride:

After the diner-meet, Paris is intrigued by the guy who played along with her interrogation and eye-flirted with Rory. She doesn’t think she’ll see him again, but she would be lying if she said she didn’t want to.

After the dinner at Rory’s, Paris is honestly elated to finally have a great literary conversation with a guy her age. The only one to have come close is Rory, and that doesn’t say much for the «opposite sex» in Paris’ eyes. But she’s also furiously disagreeing with Jess’ «Austen loves Bukowski»-take, so she writes a whole several page argumentative essay and forces Rory to deliver it to Jess the next school day.

Jess responds not with a letter, but by having Rory hand Paris an annotated («blasphemy!») copy of a Bukowski work. There are no arguments from Jess notes, just underlines of quotes he thinks Austen would approve of, and excerpts from different Austen works put in the margins for comparison. Paris despises him for how much she is seeing his point.

At some point Rory get’s sick of being a carrier pigeon and drags Paris with her to ST after school so the two can fight in person. All three stay until Lorelai pops over for dinner, and Paris realizes she needs to haul herself over to the bus. She’s hungry and worried about the time she should have spent on homework, but ultimately really happy about the day.

She’s bummed to see Jess go after the car accident, but doesn’t have much time to think about it between school and… well, school. She does end up being one of the few Rory can talk to about Jess without getting the whole «bad bad boy»-speech she gets over in ST and at her grandparents’.

Rory doesn’t tell Paris Jess is back until the very end of their Washington trip when Paris finds the unfinished letter and Paris is boiling. She does cool quickly, but only to constantly bug Rory about when the three of them are going to meet up again for coffee and verbal war. Rory gets so stressed about it that at some point she gives Paris the number to Luke’s and tells her to go on her own for all Rory cares.

Paris does. Jess is surprised, but they get in the groove quick. What doesn’t go as smoothly is Paris asking what the hell is going on between him and Rory. His non-answers pretty much spell everything out, and in a rare moment of comradery, Paris decides to turn the conversation in to hating on Dean. Jess appreciates it. It doesn’t happen again, but Paris firmly puts herself in the team Jess camp from then on.

Paris is releived once Jess and Rory finally are together and it is great! More cafe talks! Study sessions! Movie nights! They even sneak both Paris and Lane out into concerts! Paris feels like for the first time in a very long time, she has real friends her own age. The kind who actually like you for you and want to spend time with you for you, not just to get better grades or a better reputation.

Paris sucks at being strong for Rory when Jess leaves. Like, she takes it really personal. This was supposed to be the one good guy, and he decided to be just like everyone else. But with time she learns to coach Rory into speaking her mind about the whole thing, and to support her in her own Paris-y way.

What she doesn’t tell Rory is that at some point after summer break (either because she gets hold of Jess for some scolding or because Lane does and spills to Paris or even if Jess gets in touch himself) Jess starts sending Paris beat up books he collects on the road around the country. None of them feature letters (at first), but annotations at the beginning declaring his safety and momentary location, as well as his general style annotations of the book inside the text. Paris starts responding with letters, and with time they start talking on phones and through email.

Paris helps Jess with his GED. They make it an equal study-buddy thing because Paris needs help taking certain writers seriously in her essays. Most of their sessions are over the phone, and a lot of it is just them daring each other to actually try. Paris gets actual stars on her improved essays, and Jess passes with flying colours.

Paris doesn’t know about Truncheon until Jess stands in front of her place ages later, dressed like a Kids Bop version of himself and holding a messengerbag with his debut novel. Paris tears through it in two hours (forcing Jess to sit on the couch next to her the whole time) and then spends another half hour furiously trying to tear it to shreds but actually praising it. She gives him their first hug ever, and hopes this afternoon is a sign they’ll slowly get back to being close friends in person.

Paris sucks at hiding how team Jess she is. So. Much. She does have genuine critiques of Logan and other guys, but her gut-defenses of Jess at random times in the day and weird reminiscing back to the «good old days» of diner talk after school gives her away immediately. Rory is uncomfortable, but Paris doesn’t even change her mind after Rory still picks Logan.

What she does do is invite Jess over for grown up evenings with Doyle. Whenever Rory is scheduled to be out and Jess needs to visit Luke anyway, Paris extends her invitation. They test wines based on price and taste, watch cult classics, eat takeout (in honour of Paris’ very first Mac and Cheese night) and talk for hours. One day wires cross and Jess gets in while Rory is there/Rory gets back while Jess is there and things get awkward.

Paris invites Jess to the graduation. Yes she has a limited amount of tickets and yes it’s weird to invite your friend who has barely been around ever but damn it she wants him there. He came to her when he was celebrating his accomplishments, she wants him to be there for hers.

They actually grow even closer as adults; emailing, texting and calling regularly. About 70% of it is general banter and picking on everything and everyone around them, but it’s a far more loving kind now — not that anyone who isn’t them would know, from the outside it looks like they want to kill each other. Regardless of outcome, Paris remains forever team Jess, and the two end up having each other’s backs for life.

So this went long and away from the point (and I only went through Paris’ pov!) but it was fun to write! I hope you like rant answers!

#sing it with me all together now:#THE POTENTIAL #btw thank you so much for the ask it brightened my day!#snark attack #jess mariano #paris geller #jess x paris #lowkey underdog quartet #gilmore girls #gilmore girls headcanons #gilmore girls au #my aus #my headcanons

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otterskin · 4 years ago

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Dumb Details From the Loki Trailer I noticed but then got too serious about

First - apparently it’s not a trailer, so I guess we’ll get ‘Trailer 1′ later? ‘Exclusive Clip’ hardly seems accurate, but hey, I’m not Disney’s marketing division. I wouldn’t live in a shoebox if I was.

Dumb detail no. 1:

Owen Wilson’s jacket is...weird. Look closely.

And another shot:

Yeah...his jacket has a ‘reversed collar’. It’s a cut-out rather than cloth folding on top. Huh. What a strange design choice. What could it mean?

I’ve no idea, but that I watched the trailer enough times to notice this should concern you.

Detail No. 2

In this scene, we see what we can presume to be President Loki’s ‘Throne’. Notice the candy-canes. This is a Santa Claus throne, presumably from some mall Santa. This whole place might be in a mall, judging by the stuff in it.

But the Loki in this shot is not President Loki. Notice that he’s wearing brown pants, a thin brown tie, and the beige shirt he’s seen wearing in other parts of the trailer after he's apparently joined the TVA. President Loki wears black pants, a green vest and a wide green tie with a golden clip that resembles Loki’s little chevron he always has (more on that later).

So it would seem that Loki might meet President Loki here. President Loki might even be addressing him at the end of the trailer. It’s possible that his minions turn on him because there’s two Lokis and they don’t know which is the ‘imposter’.

Speaking of, there’s a minion with bicycle handlebars grafted to a football helmet here, likely meant to resemble Loki. I dig it. There’s also cans of food scattered among the rubbish here. Makes sense that food production is non-existent since everyone has resorted to wearing license plates and spoons. Love how tattered the whole aesthetic is.

This reminds me of the opening Michael Waldron’s script ‘Worst Guy of All Time’, which featured a similar post-apocalyptic setting after the ‘worst guy’ ruins everything and makes himself king of the ashes. That’s likely what’s happened here, but I hope that Loki isn’t anything like Logan Paul, who was the inspiration for that title character.

Ah, the mysterious female character watching a meteor shower WAY TOO CLOSE UP. But my eyes are drawn to one thing...

What is that oblong object with a shiny handle? Could it be...

A sword? I do love swords. Did you know there’s a bunch of pictures of me in the stock photos for ‘Fencing?’ That’s my cred for loving swords.

I suspect that this female character will be an amalgamation of Amora (shudder) and Sylvie and an alternate Loki of some kind. This sword is currently in her possession, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it or another timeline version of it becomes the Loki Show’s Loki′s weapon.

Loki has lacked a ‘weapon of his own’ in the MCU for quite some time. I mean, yes, he has his little knives, but they are many and disposable and something he chose for himself, rather than the two legendary weapons wielded by Odin and Thor, Gungnir and Mjolnir. In fact, throughout his appearances, Loki has seemed to want such a thing of his own - he briefly had Gungnir, and then the Gungnir-like scepter, and even tried to lift Mjolnir.

One might ask why Odin would’ve overlooked such an obvious show of favouritism. Why give Thor a storied weapon and leave Loki empty-handed? Heck, even Hela had the Necroblade.

In Thor 1, we might’ve assumed that the Casket of Ancient Winters was perhaps intended one day to be given to Loki, as it is shown with Mjolnir in the Vault and thus connected to it and the children who would inherit it. But in the comics, Odin did have another weapon of storied history put away for his second son: Gram the Sword.

It was locked for eons by Odin in a special vault which required five keys to be opened, and it was meant to be for Loki if he be worthy.[2] The five keys were infused by Odin with the powers of "journeys", "endurance", "secrets", "new beginnings", and "brotherhood", respectively.[3]

The sword, like everything else in comics, has a complicated history full of take-backs and twists, but let’s just leave it at ‘it’s a representation of Loki’s worthiness and belonging in the trifecta with Odin and Thor as a King of Asgard’. It gives him ‘equality’.

In the original mythology, it’s wielded by Sigurd to kill the dragon Fafnir, and the only relation it has to Loki is that Loki is partially responsible for Fafnir existing in the first place (my username is nod to this myth by the by. Sorry Ottär.) But hey, maybe that means we’re getting a dragon? The Fafnir would be very cool.

Or it could just be a bit of rebar in this mining quarry.

Then again...it appears somewhere else...

It’s easier to see in motion, but that’s a sword swinging on this person’s back.

So the hooded figure is this lady...shall we call her Amylkie? Does that mean she’s the antagonist of this show? Well...maybe, but I suspect the true antagonist is foreshadowed here -

So, what’s going on here? A young girl (Young Amylkie? Some other TVA prisoner that the guard is watching over? An oracle, A Norn, or a kid who wandered off from the tour group in a basilica somewhere?) She’s giving Mobius M. Mobius a...piece of chocolate. Maybe he saw a Dementor, I dunno. I suspect it’ll be a MacGuffin of some kind later. He looks pretty concerned here, which contrasts with his ‘another day at the office’ blaséness when dealing with Loki. But of course this is the eye-catcher:

So, Norse Mythology. It’s been Christiannized. You can thank Snorri Sturluson for that, but you can google all about him later. Let’s just say that he made many Norse figures into equivalents for Christian ones. Baldur is Jesus, pure and a sacrificial lamb who dies for a greater good. And the devil is...Loki. Something the Marvel comics and the MCU have continued.

Here we have a devil, dressed in green and with a distinct shape on his chest:

Hmmm...wait...I know that weird horny shape...

Ah. I’d say that cinches it. This is meant to be Loki. If you look at the devil’s hair, it also resembles Loki’s, being shoulder-length and black.

So, what’s devil-Loki doing? Laying an egg? Trying out a foot massager? For a second I thought it was a moon, but we see the moon over his left shoulder, amongst the stars. Which means this is - probably the Earth.

...Dammit; I live there.

So Earth is barren and being devoured by flames, likely caused by this Loki sitting atop of it (in a throne, no less). Aw gee, things look pretty bad, don’t they?

But wait - what’s that? Under the Earth (and, possibly, under the earth)?

It’s a plant. A shoot, to be exact.

Back to Ragnarok for a second. Ragnarok isn’t the apocalypse (something we see a lot of in this trailer - all of it seems to be exploring the end of days). Ragnarok is the fire meant to wipe out the old and fertilize the ground for the new. And after the gods have died, what happens? Well, Baldur emerges from Hel, one of the only surviving gods (hmm, seems him dying worked out, didn’t it?). He’s joined by Líf and Lífþrasir, who are the new first man and woman, who’s names mean ‘Life’ and who are pictured, usually, with plants and new life. It is they who are tasked who growing a new Yggdrasil after the destruction of the old. The previous first man and woman are Ask and Embla, meaning Ash Tree and Vine/Elm tree, so there’s a theme there.

So a new sprout, possibly a tree, growing out of the destruction of the old.

This fits with Loki’s role as understood in mythology. He checks the arrogance of the gods, including when they tried to achieve immortality (sorry, Baldur, nothing personal), and that keeps the gods at their best. After Loki is imprisoned, the gods become weak, unhelpful and foolish, and Yggdrasil starts to rot. Eventually Loki escapes and returns along with Surtur (who also resembles this figure) to burn it all to the ground. This is also referenced in Thor:Ragnarok, with Loki releasing Surtur in the Vault, a place of thematic importance to Loki and one that represents the hidden secrets and sins of Asgard). You could say Ragnarok continued into Infinity War, where Loki played an important part in aiding Thanos’ destruction, giving up the stone to protect his brother and essentially dooming the rest of the universe - but also ultimately leading to its salvation, even if, like Myth Loki, he wasn’t around to see it.

So, we see Amylkie literally start a fire in the trailer -

- in fact, this whole trailer is awash in flame -

It’s fire, fire everywhere and she’s setting them!

It’s possible Amylkie’s our big bad, but I think there’s a chance she’s either a red herring, or, much like how Loki ‘worked’ with Thanos in The Avengers, she is the pawn of a greater foe -

- a Loki bent on destruction, for some reason or other. The TVA is obviously aware that this is the case, and it seems like they might be trying to ‘fight fire with fire’ by enlisting one Loki to combat another. The villain could be President Loki, since there's evidence of 2 Lokis in that scene - or maybe that's one of many Lokis, and the Big Bad Loki is being played by Hugh Grant as Old Loki. In any case, it would appear that Loki will be coming face-to-face with the worst versions of himself, and many of them. And, if I’m right about this scene:

...Loki will likely eventually discover that even his ‘good’ timeline ended in the destruction of his people and home, plus his own gruesome and torturous death. Although I think the TVA will keep that from him, and just show him the happy parts in an effort to inspire ‘good behaviour’. Until Loki inevitably discovers the rest of how that timeline played out and realize he’s been lied to. I don’t imagine he’ll take that very well...

Damn, even our ‘hero’ Loki is burning stuff down! Does this mean that Loki is doomed, always meant to be an avatar of death and toasty destruction?

Well...let’s go back to that stained glass.

Hmmm...wait...I know that weird horny shape...

And there’s something else...the bottom of the Earth is being lit up, and not by fire. Light appears to be coming off this little plant.

What colour is this plant again? That’s right, green. Green is the colour of new life and growth and change and...hang on, I’ve heard that before, too...

Hang on hang on HANG ON... let me have a look at the shape again.

That’s...a letter. An L? For Loki? Like in the title sequence?

Wait...no, a different letter. An older letter. After all, Loki is old Norse. How do you spell his name in that again?

ᛚᛟᚲ ᛁ -

And ENHANCE on that third letter!

This, my friends, is a Kenaz/Kaunaz, or what would become 'K' in our alphabet. It is also known as the 'Loki Rune' (and the Ulcer Rune, for some reason. I suspect Odin understands why). It’s used to spell his name, but is also used on his own to represent him. Heck, it's even his Superman 'S' in the comics:

Runes are more than letters - they are symbols for concepts. So what else does it mean?

Primarly, it means ‘torch’.

And also ‘knowledge’ (ken). As well as ‘growth, change, the search for truth, decay, arrogance, elitism, feminine, kinship and creativity.’

...Okay, that’s a lot, but you have to admit it fits.

More specifically, it means ‘Mastery of the Fire’. As in, someone who has learned to tame fire so that it is helpful, not harmful. To bring light and, symbolically, knowledge.

There’s another way Loki’s been associated with fire - in the Wagner Ring Cycle, Das Rheingold, the opera that inspired much the Thor films’ aesthetic and certainly their helmets, Loki is called ‘Loge’, which means ‘Fire’. He’s usually dressed to match, too -

Many trickster figures are associated with fire. They are usually called ‘Fire-bringers’ - See: Raven, Lucifer, Prometheus, etc. They are often complex figures with a foot in different worlds, but who nonetheless help mankind with the gift of ‘fire’ - although they usually pay for it, and tend to be self-destructive.

(Side note. Lucifer means light-bringer, which is what luciferase is named after. Because it glows. Which is helpful in labs. In case someone needed to know that.)

Moving from a destructive fire-starter to a fire-bringer seems like a great character arc for Loki to take, especially given his rehabilitation in pop culture, the comics, and even wider culture. Loki has gone from being seen as an evil, deviant, destructive character to one who’s seen as a patron of the arts and creativity, of stories rather than lies. Heck, some scholars of Norse Mythology even posit that he’s the closet thing to a protagonist Norse Mythology has, so I guess that backfired, Snorri!). Being dressed in green and with the sprout clearly also being stylized after his Kaunaz, there’s foreshadowing that he’ll be capable of growing good things even out of ashes.

So, to sum up: Being ‘Satan’ sounds pretty bad, but with a little letter re-arranging like we see in the title sequence, you can be...

...practically a saint. Maybe even a saviour.

Merry Christmas, everybody.

#loki #trailer #details #meta #theories #theory #explanation #thor #tva #santa #devil #snorri sturluson whinging #christmas #fire #kaunaz #loki trailer

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heyitssmiller · 4 years ago

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How funny! I was just thinking about it too........pt 3 🍰✨ [characters belong to @lumosinlove]

Leo had Bad Suns blasting from his phone as he frosted the latest cupcakes - a Devil's food cake batch he was making for an engagement party. He bopped his head to the tune with a smile as the sound filled the small space. The kitchen window was open to let in a breeze, and he could hear Marlene’s motorcycle pull up.

She came in from the back door, placing her helmet upside down on the equipment shelves. “Your music’s too loud.”

“You call me poison but you won’t stop comin’ around,” he sang to her, grabbing her arm and twirling her haphazardly.

“You’re singing off-key!” She laughed.

“No, you won’t stop comin’ arounddddd,” he ignored her, dipping her backward in his arms. Marlene rolled her eyes with a grin, clinging tight to him so she wouldn’t fall over.

He spun her once more for good measure before swiftly loading the cupcakes into a box and tying it up with yellow twine. “Remember to secure it,” he warned.

“Have I ever had an order fall off my bike?”

“Ah, let’s see. Sunday, November second-”

“That should not count. It was my first week, it was years ago, and spice cakes are inherently accident-prone.”

“Oh, are you gonna make me up a statistic?” Leo leaned back on the counter with his arms crossed, raising a playful eyebrow.

Marlene socked him in the shoulder. “I’ll secure this one, don’t worry.” She glanced at the time on her phone and turned off his music. “Now, I’ve got seven minutes before I really need to get going. Why don’t you tell me who it is you’re crushing on?”

“What?” Leo blurted, caught off guard by her question.

“Come on, Frank told me you were all blush when he came in for his shift Saturday afternoon, but you’d left before I came back to see for myself.”

“I-”

“Don’t lie to me, Leo Knut,” Marlene stuck a finger in his face.

He sighed, defeated, and told her an abridged version of what went down at the bakery on his solo shift. Marlene chewed her lip thoughtfully before pulling out her phone.

“What’re you doing?”

“Looking these guys up. They’re hockey players, right?”

He nodded as she typed ‘Gryffindor Lions’ into the search bar. Her eyes scanned the player’s photos before lighting up. “Here we go, Finn O’Hara and Logan Tremblay, right wingers.”

He leaned closer to get a better look.

Finn was smiling wide, red hair just a shade brighter than the burgundy jersey he was wearing. Leo decided his freckles looked just as cute on camera.

Next to Finn’s picture was Logan’s. The brunette’s eyebrows were slightly raised, his full lips just barely parted, giving him a faintly confused look that Leo found insanely adorable.

Marlene let out a squeal. “Oooooooooh, you do like them!”

“No, shut up.” Leo felt the blood rushing to his cheeks as he glared down at her.

“I mean, good choices. They are really hot.”

“No! Not good choices! Did you forget that they’re dating each other already?”

“And did you forget that they both flirted with you?”

He grumbled a reply as he turned to wipe down the counter.

“Leo, you said you put your number in their wallet, yeah?”

He nodded.

“So if they felt what you felt, they’ll call you.” She rubbed his arm soothingly. “Worst case scenario, you forget about them and move on. But you’re honestly a catch, Mr. Tall, light, and handsome. I wouldn’t worry.”

He smiled at her. “Thanks, Marley. You should get going with the cupcakes, though.”

“Crap, yes, I should.” She grabbed the box from the counter and her helmet from the shelves. “I will be back later!”

Leo pressed play on his music, turning it up again as he heard her motorcycle pull away. Then he started on the next order - a two-layer pistachio cake he’d already gotten half done. Three more Bad Sun’s songs and Leo was finally starting to loosen up to the music. He needed to put those hockey players out of his mind, or he would never be able to get anything done. “He’s a moth drawn, to a flame, he’s going in, he’s going all or nothin’,”

The customer’s door opened and Leo fumbled to pause the song. He was fine with Marlene hearing him sing, but he really did know that he had an awful voice.

“I’ll be right with you!” Leo called. He wiped his hands on his apron and stopped the mixer before walking out of the kitchen with a smile that promptly grew. “Hey!” He greeted the two men.

“Hi,” Finn said, sticking his hands in his pockets as Logan smiled back.

“What can I do for y’all today?” Leo placed his palms flat on the counter, suddenly painfully aware of the way his tank top showed off his arms. “I’m assuming y’all want some cake?”

Secretly, he was hoping they would say no, that’s not what they wanted. That they wanted him. That they came back for him.

Logan slipped his arm into Finn’s. “Well, we, uh, we wanted to tell you something.”

“Yeah?” Leo’s skin felt magnetic, pulling him towards the pair.

“Yeah,” Logan said. “We’re engaged.”

His heart, which had been beating out of his chest a minute ago, screeched to a halt and shattered in his chest. “You are? I-I-I mean, congratulations! Yeah, congrats, y’all, you’re engaged!” He ran a hand through his hair. “Wow! When’s, uh, when’s the wedding?”

Finn looked between Logan and Leo. “We’re not exactly sure yet. But we knew we wanted to come back and see you. For the cake.”

“For the cake,” Leo echoed.

“Oui, do you have time for us to sit down now?”

Leo looked around desperately for his appointment book, not trusting himself to meet either of the other two in the eye without dropping the act that he was happy for them. “I can, uh, I can make you an appointment, if you want, um.” He fumbled the pages to turn to a blank line. “Yeah, but I can’t meet right now, sorry. We can put you on the calendar, though? If-if you want.”

“Sure,” Finn nodded. “We’d love to.”

“Our next free day is Sunday, does that work?” Logan asked, leaning in to try and read Leo’s handwriting upside down.

“Yup, yup yup yup. Mhm. I can squeeze you right in. How’s noon work? Noon sound good?” Leo was smiling too widely, and rambling, he knew, but he had no idea to respond to this. The two guys he’d been non-stop thinking about, who he’d given his number to, had just come in to ask if he could bake their wedding cake.

For their wedding.

To each other.

And of course, Leo would.

“Noon sounds great,” Finn confirmed for him, and the blonde’s smile got tighter.

“Swell,” he gritted out. “Well, if that’s all...”

Logan and Finn looked at each other, and he couldn’t read the expression in their eyes.

“That’s all,” Logan said. “Merci Leo. We’ll see you Sunday, then? Noon?”

“Uh-huh,” Leo could tell his voice was too chipper. “Congratulations to y’all again!”

They offered him smiles before Finn held the door open for Logan.

His fiancé.

Leo went back into the kitchen and washed his hands before starting the mixer back up. Far too heartbroken by what just happened, he pressed play on the music and tried desperately not to cry.

They look so pretty from afar

Like the gates of heaven are open now

And my one true love has just waltzed right out, yeah

My brain reading this:

BADSUNSBADSUNSBADSUNSBADSUNS

LEO BABY

JUST FLIRT WITH HIM ALREADY FINNLO GOOD GRIEF GIVE HIM A HINT PLEASE

LEO BABY 😭

Ohhhh I love this story so so much!! Thank you for gifting us with this 💕

#lumosinlove #coast to coast #wedding cake au #o’knutzy

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