#kp rants about comics

[theinsanecrayonbox]

mmm so yeah new Ultimate Wolverine IS a Logan

buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut

you gotta admit, it is a bit sus convenient that they gave us a Winter Solider Logan not too long after giving us a Captain America Victor

please, feel free to run with this tags

[theinsanecrayonbox]

Wait what a new mini? How…what…why? This is Ravencroft? Will we get to see Clara? Will this connect to Kyle? Are we gonna focus too much on Logan when Victor is the title character? I am intrigued and hesitant. So…par for the course I guess!

Sabretooth: The Dead Don't Talk preview

SABRETOOTH: THE DEAD DON’T TALK #1 (OF 5) Written by FRANK TIERI Penciled by MICHAEL STA. MARIA Cover by FABRIZIO DE TOMMASO 

Who is Mad Dog Murphy? A person alive in the 1900s seen in a picture on the wall of NYC’s oldest tavern? Yes. A feared gangster and murderer who rose to power among the notorious Gangs of NY? Yes. And also, perhaps most shockingly of all, none other than… Sabretooth?!?

Join us — and Wolverine — as we uncover this secret untold chapter from the life of Logan’s greatest foe in a tale of violence, betrayal, shocking reveals and more violence. Sabretooth may be dead… but the secrets from his past —and the ways in which they may affect Wolverine in the present — are very much alive

[petals42]

kent parson thoughts??

oh! yes! I actually do have thoughts for what I think is going to happen with Parse in the future, so without further ado, I bring to you [MARSHALL]:

(note: reading back over this after writing it, I can confirm that this post is a Mess. Like how many times can I just ramble in parenthesis? I don’t even know. Over 15 at least. including this one. my god. STILL HERE YOU GO:)

My Idea for What Could Happen with good ole Kenny P

Okay, so something that has been mentioned but not addressed in the comic is that it was once Rumored that Jack and Kent were involved. In Parse 2, Ransom and Holster talk about how close they were, how there were rumors, how there were rumors about the rumors, and then note that there is a “trove” of Jack Zimmermann/Kent Parson fanfiction. Obviously, this is a nod towards the bigger RPF hockey ships (like… sid/geno? I don’t actually read RPF but I think thats one…)

ANYWAY, enough is made of this friendship (with a question mark/astrix) that both get asked about how they are preparing for their game against each other and then they have a pretty intense first game--

THE POINT IS: It is unclear just how far the rumors about Jack and Parson go. Is it the shippers who really believed they were together? Or was this a more widely whispered about rumor that some more “official” news sites mentioned? We really don’t know, but...

What we do know is that N has said Parse is the antagonist to Bitty’s plotline (of course I cannot find this exact quote right now but I am like 82% sure those are the exact words she uses... maybe. idk now im all turned around. did she not say this? why do i believe this to be true? oh well, for now:). Parse = Antagonist. (Note, antagonist does not necessarily mean despicable human being. Like, if you would like to see KP as that, I am not stopping you, I’m just pointing out that that is not the official definition of Antagonist and not really how I see him and my opinion has doubtless impacted my ideas.) The Antagonist has to fuck up the protagonist’s proverbial day. (Also, I’m not going to add this here but, dude, the development of the Antagonist as Totally Evil in Western Culture is really interesting! Ack, no side rants. Okay, moving on:)

SO, the more obvious route to go here is that Parse tries to break up Bitty and Jack (well, there was also the disastrous conversation at the Epikegster which some use to classify him as The Antagonist already but I am not going that far yet because, honestly, as shitty as that moment was for Jack, it did not really affect JackandBitty or the Zimbits ship. I’m assuming Year 4, we need some drama or threat of drama to the actual ship in order for KP to get Full Antagonist Status. He’s gotta fuck up Bitty’s day. Not just Jack’s).

However, in terms of: Parse tries to Openly Break Up Zimbits-- I just don’t see the comic going there. First of all, Jack and Bitty seem like Stability Personified, so I can’t even picture how this would go: Parse: Zims, leave Bitty and be with me. Jack: No. Parse: damn. Alright. *goes to listen to sad music alone* --- This is not very climactic, yet anything else would be out of character for Jack. (like Jack actually considering leaving Bitty or really anything Parse has to say would be bizzare bc even Senior-Year-Stressed Jack did not buy what Parse was selling and now Jack is Professional-Athlete-APlus-Boyfriend Jack so like… nah, don’t see it)

So basically, we need a way for Parse to be his full Antagonist Self while also being… not an Actual Comic Book Villain. And, just my opinion, I feel this cuts out “Purposefully Outing Jack Zimmermann.” It is just way over the line, doesn’t really fit with what we know of Parse (Shitty says that he was a humble guy/most of the Samwell crew likes him/he gives a very Media Answer when asked about Zimmermann), and also just doesn’t fit with the tone and world of Check Please, which I think we can all agree is fairly fluffy. Purposeful Malicious Outing just doesn’t fit.

BUT, there is a way that allows Kent to be the Antagonist, keeps him as a real person, and mayhap gives some wonderful shades of gray to the comic. And that is what I think (hope?) will happen and that is this:

Kent Parson Comes Out

Now, I don’t know the details. Or, rather, I know what I want to happen but I don’t think what I want will happen because it puts a lot of focus on Parse and that’s not what the comic is about. So let me split this into two.

Option A: Kent Parson comes out accidentally. Or, rather, there are like leaked photos of KP with another dude and in the media shit storm that follows, he comes out and it’s surface level “by choice” but everyone knows that it was a forced response to his inability to deny those pictures.

Option B: Kent Parson just decides to come out. For himself. For personal reasons. (Maybe the Aces win the Cup in Year 3 and he decides the world is ready. Maybe he is ready. Maybe-- well, you get it. The boy goes for it). (This puts less of the focus on Kent, cause this could happen in like… 2 panels. 2 or 3; unlike Option A which takes more time to be Established and all that shit).

The point is, depending on how widespread the Rumors about Jack and Kent were-- this now puts Jack into the incredibly awkward/terrible position of having to maybe answer questions about Kent or worse, Kent and himself.

Like, professional outlets would probably keep the questions to Jack at: “What do you think about Kent Parson coming out?” and/or “Did you know about Kent?” and if Jack were single at the time, he could probably keep it to “I fully support him and wish him well” and/or “Kenny and I were close friends so I did know and hope that he is happier now that he no longer has to hide” or even, “No, I did not know, but I wish him all the best and believe everyone has a place in this league.”

Less professional outlets are probably more like “PARSE IS GAY. PARSE AND ZIMMERMANN WERE BESTIES AND THERE WERE RUMORS. #RUMORSCONFIRMED!!!!!!!! ZIMMERMANN ALSO GAAAAY. ARE THEY TOGETHER????” (Like… some people believed in Parse/Zimmermann and now that they have Confirmed half the couple is gay/bi/pan, the whole ship has suddenly become That Much More Real)

Either way, all this would be Stressful even if Jack didn’t have a boyfriend but he does.

And there’s the tension of Year 4. Jack having to really actively make the decision to either come out or keep hiding. Long talks with Bitty about what this would mean for him. Bitty also having to deal with coming out to his parents. Jack’s anger at Parse for putting him in this position. Bitty’s anger at Kent for putting them in this position. (If it’s Option A, that makes this even more complicated. Like… on the one hand, they feel bad for him and this is terrible, but also, selfishly, they really fucking hate this and it’s fucking up their lives. If it was Option B, Jack is probably even more pissed).

Look, I should stop, but real talk, you could write some fucking A-plus fanfic off this premise and if this doesn’t come to pass in the comics, maybe I will have to write it because there are so many great scenes.

Anyway, in conclusion, I think this would be a cool way for KP to be the Antagonist of Check Please (in that, this leads to a situation in which Pressure is put on Bitty and Jack; not in that a person wanting to or being forced to come out makes them an “antagonist”. Obviously. I hope that is not how this post is reading at all), while still being a fully realized, human person and not just a Full Comic Book Villain. And, given the choice, I always pick “In-depth, complex, human villain” over any black-and-white situations. So... yeah. I think this could be a good story. 

The End.

(Side note: I feel like this was such a Legit Theory in my head but now that I’ve typed it out, I doubt this is where the comic will actually go. Even this is still not quite the tone of Check Please. Not quite enough fluff. Unless Jack very quickly decides to come out?? eh, idk. But still! It would be something!)

(The End for real this time).

[definitelynotscott]

Dear Author for Purimgifts 2017

Hello, Friend! Do not feel bound by this letter as these are only suggestions. I’m sure I will love whatever you create! However, in case you are feeling lost and directionless in the pursuit of what to write for someone you don’t know very well, I have taken the time to write some things out that will hopefully serve as a compass to point you North. :D

General

Yes, Please. - Positive family stuff like bonding, teasing, meddling, supporting, interfering, protecting, etc. (blood relatives or found family, both are good).

Friendship stuff, I love to see friends working together and helping each other accomplish goals (big or small), also hanging out and just enjoying each other’s company, when they can exchange positive physical contact (hugging, kissing, cuddling) without it being taken as romantic/sexual that makes me happy.

I like romance too, getting together is fine, but that seems to be the most common kind, so if you wanted to do some established relationship stuff (1st-50th anniversary, going on a mission/adventure as a couple for the 1st-50th time, having/adopting a child, raising that child/children, threatening each other’s enemies, etc.) that might be kind of cool.

The trope where soulmates (platonic or romantic) have their first words written on each other’s bodies is fun, especially if one person said something either horrible or commonplace (”Hi,” “Excuse me,” you get the idea) and the other person resents it.

Cultural conflict is awesome. Things where standard behavior, action, phrasing, body language, terminology can lead to conflict, misunderstandings, etc. because they mean one thing in Culture A and something else in Culture B, I love that. (I love Janet Kagan’s books, particularly Hellspark.)

I like to laugh, sometimes at the suffering of fictional characters, but I lean more towards fluff on both the fluff/angst axis and the fluff/smut axis.

While I haven’t written much, I do tend to write what I want/like, so that can give you a clue if you’re still searching

No, Thank You. - Incest, infidelity, torture, gore, rape/non-consensual stuff, mind control, mental collapse/breakdown, teacher/student relationships, the phrase “Make me a woman!” .

Fandom Info

League of Legends

My favorite character is Lux Crownguard, and the fandom portrays her in some ways I don’t like, so I’m just going to come out and tell you what NOT to do and help you avoid accidentally spiking my blood-pressure. Basically it’s a rant about stuff you probably wouldn’t do anyway, so if you want to skip it simply remember I like her better as an awesome superspy and powerful mage than some helpless, naive princess.

*START RANT* Do not write her as stupid or foolish, she is canonically a prodigy. Bubbly and goodhearted does not equal stupid. Do not write her as helpless, she can reverse engineer spells after one viewing in a highly magical world, she is overpowered as hell. Do not write her as overly naive, she was conscripted into the army at age 13 and then served in a spy in Noxus (a place known for being violent and Darwinian, remember?). She may have managed to hold on to her innocence in some ways, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t know what’s what. Don’t write her as a weakling. True, she’s less buff than many champions (she is tiny and a mage) but she went through basic training, is an active member of her country’s army, and runs around wearing metal armor (less than some, but again, she’s a mage). Don’t write her as a weak-willed, submissive, shrinking violet. You cannot channel massive arcane power with a weak will, and, come on, she runs around yelling “In the name of Demacia, I will punish you!” This is a much smaller issue, but I’ve see a couple of stories where they depict Lux as a good cook, which doesn’t seem logical to me. First, she’s a noblewoman, cooking is what servants are for in their eyes. Second, she might have pulled some KP duty in the army, but that doesn’t really lend itself to gourmet cooking (”Look honey, I cooked 15 gallons of beans!” *stifled groan*). The only place I can see her learning to cook would be in Noxus, out of self preservation. And then she definitely wouldn’t advertise it. Demacia’s Lady of Luminosity can cook Noxian food but not Demacian food? How embarrassing! *END RANT*

So, now that I’ve ranted… Things you CAN do in this fandom. I mean… she’s a spy, so she’s probably thrilled when people gauge her wrong. Me, not so much. If you wanted to write something where someone underestimates her and then gets #REKT that would be juuuuuust fine.

If you’re interested in writing something family oriented, Lux and her brother Garen would be something I would enjoy, I love them both. Then, of course, there’s the Du Couteau family. If you want to write about Katarina, Cassiopeia, and Talon interacting that would be fun too!

If you’d like to write about friendship, Lux & Janna hanging out having fun, or comparing magic, or their experience as highly specialized mages would be good. Ezreal & Lux is another possibility. (They’re my NOTP though, but I’ve already ranted once this letter. Just… NO ROMANCE!) I’d love to see the two of them hang out, eat pizza, do each other’s nails, try to hook each other up with people… (romcom hijinks ensue) maybe they double-date the Blood Brothers? *shrugs*

For romance my preference is to pair Lux with Darius or Talon. I know they’re on opposite sides, but the points where they intersect are what interest me. Darius understands loyalty and service, and family, things that are important to her. Talon has more family loyalty than loyalty to his government, and they both assassin and spy aren’t such different careers (the fact that he’s The Blade’s SHADOW, and she’s all about LIGHT tickles my fancy as well). Also, see my previously expressed love for cultural conflict. That’s one reason I like Lux. As someone who understands both Demacian and Noxian culture (she understands it well enough to be an undetected spy there at least) she’s in a good position to solve or instigate some cultural incidents.

Shadow Unit

I’m very sad our time with these characters has ended, so pretty much anything would be great. I feel like the Purimgifts community could fall as much in love with Esther Falkner as I have (which is why I wrote a recommendation), so anything with her would thrill me. As previously mentioned, I like found family dynamics, so some Worth & Gates interaction would be good. Or if you wanted to write something set after the original works I’d love to see something with Nikki in her new role. Some of the Gammas, Natalie Summers-Barrington, Susannah Greenwood, or Anna Krol (especially Anna Krol!) I’d love to read about. If you like writing less fluffy stuff, Frost is always an option!

Marvel Universe

I used to read their comics a lot, and while I haven’t recently, I have a decent understanding of the general Marvel Universe background, so if you want to branch out from the fandoms I have listed go ahead!

My favorite character is Darcy Lewis, although I also love Pepper and Natasha. A story where the three of them combined their powers to save/take over the world would be awesome. Or even something less plot-y and more hanging-out-with-friends would be enjoyable. I did (ahem) write a summary for a Darcy story I’d like to see, and while it’s probably too long for a Purimgifts story XD it might give you an idea or two. If you feel like going crack-y, envision a world where Pepper Potts is a descendant of the Potts family from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Inventors are her destiny and/or inventing is in her blood!

[franjayheadcannons]

Hogwarts is her mothasucka!!!

BEING TOO LONG GONNA RANT LIKE NO TOMORROW!!

First of all, How the Juice they got together?

Gonna expand KP Idea: 

Someone made a cauldron blow up, someone laughed, teacher blamed everyone (probably Crocker) but then we see that some have trouble in some classes, so one offers to tutor, (Wich one of the is Chloe of course and have some kind of feud with Tootie because she is really smart too. Sanjay prefers to not intervene and AJ probably doesn’t care because is a “girl fight” (and he thinks he is the smartest one)) so they all start having a study group, then they just start hanging out more

Chloe wants to be friends with Francis so she keeps pushing until he gives up and joins. Molly is amused by this so she joins too just to tease her brother and because she gets along with Timmy more or less. She brings Dwigth with some persuasion from Molly. The study group is nice and helps them to socialize more but Chloe kinds of overacts and is quite difficult to follow when she tries to explain something but Timmy (who could or couldn’t known her before hogwarts) helps to “calm her down” or at least to fight him instead of the group.

They start to hang more than just study, to take care of eachother and to learn about important muggle things like internet, comics, tv, movies, etc.

Through the years they would bond and help eachother to fight their demonds, Francis and Molly would bond and he eventually would forgive Marisol (like one day, maybe the last summer before ending school, they are just sitting together and they have this moment when they don’t have to say anything and there are tears and hugs), Tootie would step out of the shadow of Vicky and confront her, they would all support eachother.

Sanjay and Francis could build their relationship slowly, not really knowing that they were falling for eachother until something clicks. Maybe Sanjay starts to hang with Ben until he break his heart and Francis wants to beat him but Sanjay stops him “He is not worthy”. Francis tries to tell him how wonderful he is, how everytime he gets in a room it  seems to light up, how his laugh makes him smile and how he feels so glad to spend any single moment with him. And everything just click together.

IMAGINE THE YULE BALL

IMAGINE FRANCIS IN A SLYTHERING SUIT

IMAGINE THEM DANCING AND LAUGHING AND KISSING

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[theinsanecrayonbox]

why was this given only to the red band version? this is such a nice panel, so dynamic and engaging! i mean, we get both so win, but this is so much better and not just "lolz we gonna capture you" and cut to him being caught. sacrificing dynamic story telling for a sales gimmick...why is that a surprise

edit: oh i looked back and the dialog here is just a black narration box on the panel i was talking about, so this is a whole extra page??

[theinsanecrayonbox]

the next leg of Sabretooth War has previews...liking the narrative parallels

but wait is that Holo? Holly Bright. from The First X-men

huh, that's a big old yes. neat. i was always fuzzy on if that series was canon or not (since it felt contradictory to other parts of the timeline it should be on)

but the next panel...that's not the same scene

Vic's whole design is different. the first panel, very much matches First X-men. but this one...it's almost close to what he was looking like in Mary Shelley Overdrive...

but that's not Bonnie Hale...and not just because she's not blonde, but the wrong outfit

yet it is probably close to her death scene

artistic flub? blending of memories? the two girls' deaths were similar...he killed them both, but not fully by his own choice, so that is plausible...

but interesting. someone did their homework.

[theinsanecrayonbox]

ha found an article with some panels...

hm...having active powers from a young age...not sure how i feel about that...unless there was a near-death that caused it...

also yeah, a childhood (potential) sweetheart...who is girl. eh...but this is the 60s? he's like...12 here, if he was augmented in 63 that doesn't track... (also is Vassily in this???)

BUT CLOTHES!!!!! he's wearing real people clothes!! and he's going home, he's reclaiming his humanity!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! i also don't think he means literal grandma, but idk

i am so close to just getting a month of MU now instead of waiting until all 3 parts are up...but no i have to stay strong, i have to maximize potential usage. but this, this is looking like it's doing what i want (mostly) so it's hard to wait!

[theinsanecrayonbox]

ah i just realized something by checking back

i'd misremembered this sequence

as coming from Sabretooth War Part 1; it is actually from X-Force #47 (in my defense, Quinten whooshing off to the Island happened in both, just only one ended in cannibalism)

so...yeah...Beast might actually end up killing him for good since Sabretooth War is after Target Beast and we haven't seen him yet in the happy murder fun time story...

crap

[theinsanecrayonbox]

Well if they can do a not evil AoA Weapon X (cause why would they wanna show their main cash cow as evil) I guess they can revive OML too. What I don’t get is why Phoenix is featured, she’s not a Wolverine, and if she’s the catalyst for the reality hopping whatever’s…uhg. You got the Sabretooth war with his reality shenanigans, why not tie it into that? Also what a missed opportunity to include the Wolverine married to Hercules, you just picked the easy ones.

128 also seems to be a brand new reality, so this Jane could be interesting…but probably not.

ok so are these guys gonna meetup with the sabreteeths or what

also. can they stop making girlverines look like...that. just fucking take a normal wolverine and slap some she/her pronouns onto her im BEGGING......

AND ALSO

COPYRIGHT SABRETOOTH‼️CANT BELIEVE THEY PLAGIARIZED THAT SHIT

[theinsanecrayonbox]

Sabretooth War part 10

alrighty kids, we are FINALLY at the end of this mess. we all agree it won't be satisfactory, but let's see just how much of a let down it really is

It was 28* pages. the whole book was 55 pages. an average issue is 22 pages. i get it, it's the 50th milestone, and we're also doing the Wolverine anniversary, but sill... (*there are several splash pages/2-page spreads so my reader read those as singular pages, so it might more more??)

also, this is kinda one of the most lack luster out of the covers for this saga. it's not that engaging, it's kinda stock posed (especially for them) and it's just...not cool? we're at issue #50, we're doing anniversary stuff, this should be more appealing

we pick up where we left off; Logan vs Graydon on the beach while the Pit Gang and X-Force have ringside seats. Graydon saying his only goal in life is to be a wiener; yes, that's fine. Logan admitting he's a terrible parent after it's pointed out; that is good. Logan trying to talk Graydon into being a good guy; no. when Logan has done nothing but tear down Victor into being something pure evil that has no chance of redemption, as an immutable taint on existence itself, why would he assume anything connected to him could be anything good? do i think that; pft no, but i think Graydon's a wiener. but we're not talking about my perception, we're talking about Logan's and everyone in-universe. they all believe that the Creeds are vile and should be erased, that every bad action they have ever committed, no matter the reasoning behind it, is punishable. Graydon should NOT be exempt from that idea (not to mention he IS that terrible, deserves that treatment, and has NEVER tried to be anything other than that)

oh shutup, it would indeed

oh...never mind, the wiener boy is taken out IMMEDIATELY WITH NO FANFARE OR ANYTHING. WHY DID WE DEVOTE PLOT TO HIM IF HE'S USELESS AND WORTHLESS??? you built him up to be a big bad, but nope, he died like a wiener like he always does. i'd be less mad about this if we hadn't devoted such a big deal to his return and betrayal and yaddayadda. because you know what; those pages could've been used to develop the SabreSquad, or to delve into Vic's psyche better, or heck even give the Pit Gang or X-Force more to do (yes i'd've been hap[pier to have given more time to make the OTHER superfluous parts more important). but no, we have Victor's biggest regret in life show up to highlight his own shortfalls and vulnerabilities...to just get unceremoniously stabbed and dead yet again. he made no impact on anything, aside from a board wipe that could've been completed with those idiotic Stark Sentinels.

there is indeed no justice in this world

Logan's line could be impactful of we'd ACTUALLY took the time to point out the times he HAD CARED about people, and contrasted that against how his acre for them were their ultimate doom. we BRIEFLY touched that with Birdy, Holo, Bonnie, and heck even Graydon; he cared for each of them, and as a result they each died...and in the case of Graydon he sacrificed his own humanity to save him from hell only to see wiener boy not make something better of himself; with that second chance but just perpetuate the Creed curse of self hate taken out on the world enmass. seeing THAT should've been heart breaking. instead we get a dick measuring contest

but see that's the thing, this isn't about Victor's tortured psyche and his fall from grace, this is about "those with the powers make the rules" and "might makes right" and "unhinged animal vs the calm of man" or something, because of those lines up there, "You got no powers little man" "I don't need powers to put you down"

their powers are being animals; Victor has always embraced and not denied his nature, while Logan has always had to "fight the animalistic urges" and thus has made himself the pariah that all love. now he doesn't have that crutch; he has no powers, he is just man, while Victor has looked inward and rejected his own humanity to embrace nothing but the animalistic rage and power that brings. it is savagery vs civilized. but it's not done well, not at all...

good ra that was all before the opening text crawl X.x

last cast lineup, and Arkady is still absent despite being on screen, while Aurora and Northstar are still present despite not being in the book since part 2 or 3

no, nothing on the island works, where have you been

who are you to talk Mr OC, we still don't know you, none of us know you and none of you actually know Victor

i can't...i can't keep commentating on every little thing...

oh that's nice, a panel of Laura and Arkady fighting together to distract and calm me down (does he not have a ponytail?? is that one of my hair styles???)

we leave the B Teams to deal with the remainder of the Sentinels, so Victor and lure Logan away from them to go fight alone in the jungle. ok, fine, movement, logical progression for the stupid in progress. ok. we're in the Blob's tiki bar i think? fight scene, mysterious tunnel, mk......to the Council of Dumb's chambers. wtf. actually you know what, no, idc; the island is fallen into ruins, screw logical architecture. fine, Council chamber

he's mind melded with the Pit. i...fine. makes enough sense, eat Logan now please

he's not gonna stay down there though is he?

oh look another panel composed to distract and calm me down strategically placed (who's watching me????)

so yeah, Logan's gets eaten by the Pit and internal monologs about how Vic isn't playing fair by doing this now (baby >< )

the skewed panel borders are a very nice subtle unnerving detail; kuddos layout team

that aside, interesting that that's Zora/Silver Fox II

i am actually into this sequence...to bad it's cut far too short

i'll assume it's because of Tom they got pulled out, but where'd Laura's backup mask come from?

oh no it was the Cuckoo. that's dumb. you're dumb

X-Force all gangs up on Victor while eth Pit Gang sits back and smirks, and Cuckoo is going all holier and mightier than thou until Logan says "leave him to me"...

oh and he has his powers back because the Forge Armor had a Deus ex Machina in it to fix him. so once again, another highly built up plot point of super duper importance is just swept away pointlessly

splash page of pointlessness!

and another

sadly that's how the writers think about YOU Victor

so Logan cuts off Vic's hands, then move sin for the killing blow with the internal monolog being all "this is for my friends and family and all the people you ever hurt blahblahblah"

why is Graydon on the symbolic revenge reflection? he was a BAD GUY WHO WANTED TO MURDER YOU. i just...i can't, this is dumb

and he's dismembered. i'm not going to show that because i have used far too many images already and it's not even that intriguing. Logan is standing over a dismembered pile of Victor with a satisfied smirk while the B Teams stand behind him also smirking, and there's an angelic triumphant glow as if this is all super good and was super hard. all hail our infallible savior Wolverine >>

epilogue time; Cuckoo and sitting on a cliff with Quinthead (don't worry he gets better), the Pit Gang fly off into the sunset (don't worry Pya comes back), Logan stares into said sunset internal monologuing about how Krakoa was the best ever and he's learned to love again or something (i can't be bothered to care at this point) before looking to X-Force and taking up leadership of them for the umpteenth time.

SO as a FINALE to this whole 10 part saga...it's about on par with the rest. overly graphic for the sake of unpleasantness, and sacrificing actual character depth to make Logan look like the best eva and Vic is the ultimate evil that needs to be put down foreva and eva. as a Finale to the Lavalle trilogy...it's terrible. it was completely mishandled, so many threads started and left loosely hanging. what little character depth it had was probably from Lavalle, but he should've touched it more. this was a story that we've done before; we didn't tread on any new ground. the biggest new thing was the over the top gratuitous gore fest and that is not appealing. being unpleasant for the sake of being unpleasant is not appealing.

and honestly, i'm sticking to my conspiracy theory that Arkady was supposed to not appear in this at all. the panels in this issue were less drawn in afterwards to me, BUT his contributions were very nil and his inclusion did not add anything.

uhg i have half this issue left for just bonus Logan celebration stuff...do i care enough to do it? ok, sure, summaries though

Mutants on the edge of town: well it looks 97ish. some soda shop jerk kid has a Sentinel in hid barn...i find it very sus that doesn't know/recognize it as a Sentinel, but whatever. Logan and Jubes check it out and it wakes up so fight. interesting that it could detect heterochromia and defines THAT as a mutation worth capturing, thought it went after X-genes. but it blows up, the end. it's a fine enough bonus story i guess.

Endless: ah Percy, still at it with the overlt dramatic internal monolpg that sounds super deep and important but is just not. however i give you, he's Logan your life is one giant circle because we must repeat reapeat repeat.

oh...ok i know i said no pics for these, but this...this i liek and approve. you actually acknowledge that Arkady has become a good boy and that Beast is terrible. i...ok i give you a point for this sequence, thank you.

other than that, it's kind of an even more abridged Life of, but also the goodbye letter i guess since this is Percy's last run with Logan (except it's not)

then there's his actual good bye letter. and then solicits for other wolverine to read until the new titles launches in Sept with some previews that look very similar to Origin...repeatrepeatrepeat

so once again, the easiest summery: Victor is dead-dead yet again (he was decapitated, so there's a chance it'll stick (but Savage wasn't decapitated...) ), Arkady isn't dead and still with X-Force, Daken is dead-dead, Laura 2 is not dead, Graydon is dead yet again, and Logan sucks. the end

now to wait for August with the anniversary special *dead*

[theinsanecrayonbox]

Sabretooth War part 1

LETS GET READY FOR DISAPPOINTMENT!!!!!

Mk so I will give it some points for starting almost similarly (in the barest of ideas at least) to the first issue of the Lavalle trilogy; Victor fighting X-men, messing up Cyclops’ head. That said…it falls apart real fast

Cause he wasn’t fighting Wolverine, but another alternate Sabretooth???

Who are you? Where are you from?? How did we get you here??? Why are you birb????

Wait they did all that OFF SCREEN??!! That’s like a whole miniseries in of itself!! How do you even have working inter dimensional travel still? Why didn’t these three stay home once they got back there?? This means we’re gonna get no development or histories for them because they already did that while we weren’t looking. I guess at east that explains the time discrepancy for why they were gone for so long. But cmon!! The most interesting story beats were done off screen and are apparently uninteresting. UHG!!

Moving on…

Oh well that answers my question of when this takes place. It’s after Target Beast. So yay that storyline now has spoilers. Great job.

Let’s see, what’s going on in this storyline though.

Why am I getting Star Trek vibes…

-Tom gets pings on Krakoa; Kid Omega goes off to check on it himself; the Sabre Squad are the pings; they murder and eat Quinten.

-Logan has bad vibes cause it’s his birthday I guess; tells both his kids he loves them; reveals apparently Piotr didn’t tell him Vic escaped since he thinks he’s still in the Pit.

-the Sabre Squad attack; Daken is killed; message left in the snow using body parts would be hilarious if it wasn’t stupid over the top edgelord nonsense

I honestly think this panel sums it all up

We’ll have to wait and see how the rest of it goes I guess, but so far the reasonable things I was hoping for are already crossed off, so I’m not holding out much hope. Not sure even a whale could help this time.

[theinsanecrayonbox]

Sabretooth War part 8 time

and again, doing it from tower so we can have panels, so that also means a cut to save dash space

bwahahaha idk but that over the top warning box just had me burst out laughing. i sure hope some karen complained that this storyline was too over the top pointlessly graphic (ok i din't really, because again i do enjoy bloody fights, but this is all just edgelordy nonsense for the sake of being unpleasant)

anywhos, onto our story in progress proper

i already mentioned the preview pages, and commented that i liked the parallels in the storytelling, and the Holly Bright/Bonnie Hale things. but the fact that Victor's admitting that he's a victim...has that ever happened before?

aw crap, Savage is dead-dead. i was hoping maybe she wasn't, like how Capt wasn't for an issue, since she wasn't decapitated. but nope, we can't have fun here.

Laura tauntsGraydona nd jumps out a window. he says screw it all.

Logan's getting patched up by Oya and monologing internally about how it;s so great to have no powers and could die at any moment...didn't we do this song and dance years ago before you died dude? also, you're not gonna be able to move very easily with that super heavy metal skeleton that your body won't compensate for properly without your healing factor. you know the adamantium poisoning is gonna get you. we've done this before; stop being so blasé about it.

Nekra thinks Logan's plans are dumb. Mr OC tries a psychic tap and freaks out because Graydon is so much worse than Victor? uh...wut. wiener boi, even in new shiny tinfoil mode, is not as large scale of a threat as you're making him seem. i'm sorry, but no. you cannot excuse taking the spotlight off of a main character because the wieners secondary (tertiary even) character is now the big bad and final threat. i'm just...uhg. Graydon is a wiener, and he has his purposes, but this isn't one of them. "extra dimensional tech will make this easy' yeah, uhhu, sure. you know what would've made this make sense; us seeing HOW we got this cool maybe. because you give the wiener a shiny gun doesn't mean we will immediately think he's cool and capable; it just makes him look like a wiener with a gun and make we should duck because he's probably doing to accidentally shoot himself with it.

and how do you know about that! you weren't part of the Pit Gang conversations. bad writing!!

so Logan takes the Pit Gang (trio really at this point) to his apocalypse bunker. and they fight bears. this is padding.

no it wasn't, stop lying Logan

cut to teh Greenhouse...

THE BOI IS BACK!!!!! where was he? what's he been doing? IDK AND IDC!! he's not dead, he's still here, he's in a panel. i'm not even paying attention to the rest of the page, what's going on...

Black Tom is making them a vegetable plane to go help Laura cause the them got her help texts. mk. and Cuckoo is getting a text from Quint-head that Vic is breaking out of the Audrey Two

and cut back to Logan and friends, and he's in adamantium armor with a Muramasa blade. yeah...lame. if this was to sell action figures maybe, but we don't do that anymore these days. so this is just uhg. also, didn't Laura have one of these getups? are we now repeating the OTHER Wolverine because we don't have enough new ideas???

whelp, this one wasn't so bad (why'd it warrant such a comedic warning idk lol). we progressed a bit, we got some flashbacks, we got a lot of dumb padding/stretching. but Arkady is confirmed still here, and in part 8, so i'll take it. (still not convinced my conspiracy theory that he was originally supposed to be dead in part 1 and it was changed last second isn't true...he has no lines in these 2 pages and could've been added in after the fact...he still isn't in the opening lineups yet Aurora and Northstar are and they haven't appeared in a couple issues)

[theinsanecrayonbox]

I…hm…mmm…idk how to feel about that

Exiles is one of my favorite series, and this is just the name repurposed I know, but still, it would cement that Exiles will not ever be a thing again. (Again what is with repurposing names to the wrong teams? Kitty gets the Marauders, Sinister got the Hellions) We are stuck with What If? and whatever that multiverse Avengers thing was. The original reality hoppers are just noped.

On the other hand, more Sabretooth is a plus…even if it’s with this band of people I (personally) do not care about and still know next to nothing about after 4 issues. But an on going would also open up to different characters too.

So idk, we’ll just have to see what kind of mess the fallout of AXE will give way to I guess.

https://bleedingcool.com/comics/scoop-marvel-to-launch-sabretooth-the-exiles-later-this-year/

Well now wouldja look at that. Sabretooth and the Exiles, huh? Wonder if it's gonna be an ongoing or another mini?

[theinsanecrayonbox]

found the Red Band version of Wolverine: Revenge to read online and all i can see as differences is that there's like...2 panels of extra gore (dino guts and Logan reviving) and 2 extra pages (the trio taking down Logan, and Logan reviving as a gory mess, both as full page spreads). like...there was no profanity, just those parts. maybe the future parts will have more differences, but this is just wow, so pointless

[theinsanecrayonbox]

mk with only 2 issues left of X-Force, what're my guesses for where Arkady is in Sabretooth War since he's been Sir-Not-Appearing thus far...

he'd dead, Beast finally gets to kill him permanently (sadly most likely, and least preferable)

X-Force defeats Beast, but new!Beast is now on quest to atone for his evil self, so Arkady is running around with him now. they're scavenger hunting down Beast's other clone cashes, or trying to help round up other refugees, or looking for a better place to settle, whatever. Arkady is with him because he needs an X-Force parole officer, and he's pretty much the only team member that wont hesitate to pull the trigger if new!Beast starts to go dark mode...and new!Beast is actually ok with that assessment (not highly likely, but it's not that bad of an idea and probably the best outcome)

the day before the clone army attacked, Victor or one of the SabreSquad scouted ahead and warned Arkady to get out of dodge before they attacked. this would be the last page of #50 obviously as an epilogue to X-Force but a minor prelude to Sabretooth War (highly unlikely i know)

can't wait to get surprised by another (terrible) option!