#knowing all these horrible things happened to people you loved and knowing exactly how grief feels when they die

[beforetimes]

tbh i think after logan resets the past at the end of days of future past and wakes up in this timeline that's better than he could ever imagine it'd be very hard for it to settle in his mind that this is real and he gets to keep it.

like, after decades of living in a dystopian hell he's not going to wake up in seemingly in paradise without having some sort of ptsd or residual nightmares from before where all his friends died horrible deaths that he couldn't stop. i feel like to him, scott and jean would feel more like ghosts than people for a good while because if we're operating under the assumption that days of future past happened in the same timeline that the original trilogy happened in, it would've been about half a century since logan had last seen the two of them alive and well. i feel like to him it would be similar to knowing you're dreaming and waiting for the other shoe to drop the whole way through.

and then after that there's the fact that he has no idea who he is in this timeline now—that's what i feel was implied, anyway, with how he woke up years in the future and couldn't remember anything past 1973. but he still has relationships built up with the people there and he's an entirely different logan than the one who woke up in his place. so i feel there would be some fumbling there as well, to figure out those relationship dynamics again. unless you just want to assume that things went about the same as the og trilogy minus the plot of the last stand.

idk! i feel logan wouldn't bounce back as fast as it seems he would. think he would have nightmares and be overly-wary and always feel like he's on the cusp of losing this too good to be true world he's stepped into. but i also feel he would soften some of his rougher edges—in the og trilogy he seems more like a flight-risk than anything, still bouncing from place to place and coming back to the x-mansion for a few people, but here he would stay for more than just jean and rogue—clings on for all the kids he couldn't save the first time and the allies who became close friends over the course of them living out that first dystopian future only he remembers. just thinking out loud

[countlessimagines]

Your World [ Wolverine x Reader ]

Summary: your Wolverine was your whole world.

A/N: I like writing angsty stuff and this movie provided me with the best possible scenarios <3 hehehe I love wolverine

Warnings: Cussing, mentions of blood

Marvel MASTERLIST Link here

SPOILERS BELOW

-

It wasn’t an ideal love story that brought you back to Logan.

Being a mutant with incredible healing abilities and a broken heart made it so easy for Stryker to capture you. Your Wolverine had been the one to rescue you from the clutches of Stryker and the horrible fate that loomed over your head. All the days of experiments and cold rooms where you’d be injected with who knows what, it all lead to him.

But you always had to remind yourself that Logan had gotten you out, made you a X-Men, but found the brutal truth of how dangerous it was to be loved by you.

You loved deeply and endlessly, like a void waiting for eternity to be loved and to love. Logan was exactly what your heart desired for years.

Someone who could never die, never leave you.

Fighting alongside each other became a beautiful symphony. And God protect anyone who caused you harm, because Logan would only see red and slice them to pieces. It was a miracle none of the X-men had been torn to shreds, but Scott always came close.

The team would always joke about your relationship, saying how could an innocent soul be in love with such a brute like Wolverine.

But Logan knew the only way he could breathe was to be with you, to hold you, to kiss and love you.

He would always find his way to you no matter the circumstance.

Beast was holding you in the infirmary because he wanted to run tests? Logan was there.

Storm and Jean wanted to have a girls night? Logan was sitting outside the room in case anything happened.

Scott was training you in hand to hand combat? Logan was definitely there.

Your world consisted of him and him only.

And maybe that is why it hurt so much when he let your entire team die, because you had not made them your whole world.

You had been away on a mission by yourself when you received the news of their passing. You returned to a bloodied home, no sign of Wolverine to be found.

Life began to blur after what happened. You had to go into hiding, because people blamed you for what happened, too. And there was no one there to stop you from spiraling into a flurry of self hatred.

Hatred for what you had become. A love sick puppy so consumed with Logan only. Maybe if you had been there, maybe if you hadn’t put so much trust in him, maybe if you could have taken the hits for your team.

And the thought that stuck with you the most, if you had been there, screaming for help - would Logan had only saved you and left the rest to die?

Because the love you shared was slowly becoming so obvious to you that it was not pure or natural, but rather so simple it would have made you and Logan public enemy number one.

But you supposed that had already happened, too.

Your mutant abilities were the only thing you had left, so you consumed yourself in underground work. Becoming exactly what the X-men had fought against.

Shedding your uniform, you had to separate yourself from the X-men because people recognized you too easily. It was hard to find any work where people wanted a tainted mutant.

You tried your hardest to not let every moment be consumed by the thought of Logan. He had never reached out to you after the event, despite the grief between you so overwhelmingly strong. He couldn’t face you and love someone who would have stepped through hell and back for him.

He felt as if he didn’t deserve it.

So time continued to pass as the bond between the two of you was severed so deeply that it was suffocating to be apart.

But it wasn’t until Deadpool showed up to your apartment that you were finally addressing your past.

“Leave, now. I’m not hearing any of your bullshit.” You tried to close your door but he stopped it.

“Please, c’mon. I need you! Wolverine needs you!”

You tensed at the mere mention of him. “If he needed me so desperately, it is far too late for him to come back.”

“But you’re his one and only, for fuck’s sake! Every variant I’ve met of him has had a you stalking around like a lap dog. You know how many of you’s have beaten the shit out of me?” He rambled on, and you rolled your eyes.

“I don’t care to understand what you’re saying, so goodbye, Wade!”

Deadpool sighed before kicking the door in and stabbing you through the chest with one of his blades. You stared at him in shock and couldn’t register anything as he flung you over his shoulder into an orange portal.

You landed on a hard ground that pushed the blade out of you. “Wade, you’re a dead man.”

He stepped through the portal and leaned over your body. “Sorry about that, but I can’t die so you’re stuck with not only me, but Wolverine!”

Deadpool giggled and ran off, making sure to rip the blade out of your stomach. You winced but felt your regeneration cells working to stitch you back together.

Slowly sitting up, you spat out blood.

“I tried to tell him not to bring you into this.”

You froze at the voice you fought to forget, willing calm into your fast beating heart.

Sitting up fully only made your legs wobble and your head spin. But you had to look up into the eyes of the man you still loved.

Logan looked different, healthier and happier. It only made you feel sick.

“I’ve been busy.” He said it so casually that it made you want to slap his chest for the lack of greeting. “Wade gave me a second chance. I helped save his world.”

“You haven’t seen me in years and you choose to brag?” You scoffed, removing your shirt to assess the damage Wade had done to your shirt.

Logan sucked in a breath as he took in your battle worn scars. Despite your healing factor, you still kept every scar from every wound you had endured.

He remembered the last time he saw you, you only adorned a few on your chest and stomach.

Now it was littered with them.

“You’ve been busy too, I gather?” Logan said with a hint of sarcasm.

You glared at him. “Why am I here?”

“Wade thought that I needed you.” He admitted it with such ease, like he knew it to be true in his heart.

“And? Do you need me?”

He hesitated before answering. “I’ve always needed you… and I think that’s why I let myself go for so many years. Because I knew that no matter what I did or said to you, you would never forgive me. I would always be the one who let our team die… let you go.”

“Well you’re right, because I never would forgive you. Not after abandoning all of us,” you choked out, the tears beginning to creep into the corners of your eyes. “I loved you fiercely, Logan. All it would have taken was one call during those first few days and I would have been there for you. We could’ve been healing together. But you chose this life of despair for both of us, Logan.”

“I know.” He said, his own eyes watering.

“I despise you.” You said, but your heart was breaking, letting out the true feelings. It was bleeding for him and for him only.

Logan stepped closer and you did not stop him.

“I want nothing to do with you.” You said, your voice cracking.

“I understand.” He said, five feet away from you now.

“I hate you.” You began to weep, the blood in your heart revealing what you wanted truly.

“I don’t blame you.” Logan closed the gap between the two of you, holding you close to his chest. You cried into his shoulder, holding on for dear life. “I’m never leaving you again.”

All you could muster was a small nod, your tears staining his shirt. His own were dripping onto the top of your head.

And in the empty apartment, you and Logan stood, holding onto each other.

Holding your world together.

[waltricia]

Bridgerton season 2 episode 3, “A Bee in Your Bonnet” is ✨magic✨ and let me tell you why.

For those of us who didn’t read the book and knew nothing of what was going to happen, we truly went on an incredible and surprising roller coaster of an experience.

We start the episode with seeing the guy from Hellboy and being like ‘oh yay, it’s the guy from Hellboy!’

… only for him to die three minutes later. And that scene is rough. It’s sudden and abrasive. And the sounds are jarring. The death is scored by tense strings. Then a moment of quiet. Then the AMAZING Ruth Gemmell begins taking us on Violet’s traumatic grief journey, which starts with her jolting Anthony (and us) out of the quiet.

And a thunderous heartbeat threatens him as he walks toward this entirely altered, unwanted life path. And that’s obviously the beginning of his PTSD.

In the other flashbacks throughout the episode, we continue to hear horrific, heart-rending pain radiate out of Violet while Anthony must not only attempt to endure it, but cover his own grief. Anthony and his siblings (and again, we the audience) all have to listen to Violet grieve while she’s giving birth! Screams on top of screams.

And the last flashback is technically quiet, but just as devastating because, like the moment of Edmund’s death, the quiet is weaponized. It signifies the death inside Violet.

It should go without saying that Jonathan Bailey is also a brilliant actor, but I’ll say it now anyway. Damn, he good! He and Ruth partnered perfectly in this grief journey. Serious props to them both because I felt this shit.

And then finally we come to the end. We had been immersed in the horrible aftermath of that striking tragedy. Between the flashbacks- in the present day- we had followed Anthony through the rooms and grounds where he had suffered silently. We had seen Edmund’s grave. We had learned that Anthony’s greatest fears and insecurities all stemmed from that tragic event ten years prior.

And then another fucking bee comes along.

And I swear to god, the first time I watched this, when Kate got stung, my heart was pounding, I was terrified, and my instinctive reaction was “oh my god, is she going to die?!” In hindsight, it’s obviously insane to think that she would be killed off at all, let alone in this scene. But the very fact that, for a moment, that was a legitimate fear I had is exactly why this episode is so god damn brilliant. I felt what Anthony felt. And I’m not the only one! I’ve seen other people’s similar reactions to this scene. The episode really is a roller coaster; easy, lighthearted moments (pall mall, drug tea), interspersed with the terrifying drops and loops that are Anthony’s painful memories which constantly haunt him. And then it brought us right back to that first traumatic moment. Because Anthony has PTSD! And that’s what PTSD does. Anthony is right back where he was, literally not far from the same spot outside Aubrey Hall, standing in front of a person he loves, watching them get stung by a bee on almost the same spot on their body. The tense string scoring comes back and Anthony panics because he’s completely helpless again.

And all of those elements- the setting, the scoring, the acting- combined to terrify us and make us forget something critical: most people don’t die from beestings.

And here’s where it gets really profound for me. Because it’s not just about how we feel Anthony’s fear. It’s also about how Kate completely obliterates it. Without knowing that history and without realizing the full extent of what her actions would mean, she does exactly the right thing. Rather than die and rather than also panic or shy away from his vulnerability, she meets it with her own in the form of care and steady assurance, which is true strength. And in so doing, she stops this cyclical moment in its tracks and completely alters the trauma. She puts his hand on her heart, and the heartbeat comes back. But this time, it’s not threatening. It’s inviting.

And just like in the first scene, the moment is over all too quickly. Just like in that scene, Anthony is thrust onto a new path. But where that moment was damaging, this one is healing. And we feel that too. And it’s the greatest experience that art can give us.

It’s catharsis.

And that’s why this episode is magic. 🐝✨

[trans-luis-serra-navarro]

okay i'm asking this because you're the friendliest ever, but I wanted to ask: what do you think the scene was like between Leon and Luis when Leon got off the elevator (after almost collapsing/passing out/whatever the hell was going on with him and Las Plagas) and from the point in which Leon was sitting there at the start of the next chapter squeezing is hand and saying he felt better???? Because it must have been a little while (both because of the seemingly time cut between chapters, but also later when Leon gives Ashley the suppressant and he clearly settles down to wait which implies it took Leon a while to respond and he is anticipating the same thing with Ashley) and surely they talked? Luis I'm-not-that-kind-of-doctor-but-wow-you-look-bad Serra and Leon I'll-rest-when-I'm-dead Kennedy must have talked, right???? I just wanna talk about themmmmmmmmm

Okokok I left this ask unanswered for SO LONG cuz the SECOND I started reading it I just KNEW I was gonna be lead down a rabbit hole that I wanted to do justice because like,,,, what WOULD they have talked about?!?!

Edit: this got a L O T longer than I intended I’m so sorry HDNEHENDJ so everything’s gonna be under the cut!!!! Give me the opportunity and I’ll talk about Luis for hours (also obligatory This Is All My Personal Opinion/Reading You Don’t Have To Agree If You Dont Wanna please don’t kill me HCHDNEDJ)

Like you said there seems to be a fair bit of time inbetween chapter breaks we just don’t see for the sake of pacing that REALLY fascinates me, ESPECIALLY because we’re at a pretty interesting point in Leon (and subsequently the player) and Luis’ relationship. It’s right after Luis has fluked us twice on call, and it’s right before the massive mine section you fight together in- it’s a pretty pivotal point in their relationship where Luis needs to up his game and prove to Leon that he CAN trust him. Yet he’s still gotta maintain some sort of mysterious and/or suave persona that I think throws a lot of people off when talking about how his and Leon’s relationship develop

Now of course this is all just MYYYYYY personal opinion/reading of his character cuz I am very very very invested in it BCNENEJD and you’re free to disagree!!! But I think that scene is a pretty perfect example of just how DESPERATE Luis is for companionship and trust. I think a lot of people are of the assumption that Luis only started ‘changing for the better’ AFTER he met Ashley and Leon- which personally I don’t think is the case!! We meet Luis after he’s clearly hit a moral rock-bottom. He’s been trapped under Los Illuminados’ reign for however long for whatever reason and has been COMPLETELY isolated from any human contact aside from his own coworkers for at the VERY LEAST five years. And in those five years, he’s watched the people who were most likely once individuals he grew up with become infected and loose all sense of humanity. RIGHT AFTER he escaped Umbrella too, most likely cuz he found out that all the hard work he poured into that company was being used for malicious reasons. One horrible thing on top of the other.

His life is a cycle of trying and failing over and over again- he watches his Grandfather pass away from something entirely out of his control as a young boy, and takes that trauma and grief and pours it into his research with Umbrella possibly in the hopes of preventing something like that to ever happen again- only for that to backfire. Whether it’s because he had no idea or because he purposefully let that anger consume him and let apathy fester and grow to the point where he just didn’t care, either way, he’s lost everything he loved once again. And when he returns to the only place he knows he can find solace in companionship, his childhood home, it all comes crumbling down on him too. Every attempt he’s made at righting his last wrongs, proving himself to the people he loves- it fails every single time. Obviously we don’t know WHY exactly Luis joined Los Illuminados, but if you were asking ME PERSONALLY based off of the beginning of Seperate Ways I think he didn’t have a choice but I DIGRESS!!!! Luis is at a point where he’s hit a rock-bottom he’s unsure he can come back from. Every attempt at doing good has been squashed, and no matter how hard he tries, the cycle just keeps on repeating. He’s desperate not just to escape Valdelobos, but to prove to SOMEBODY, ANYBODY, that he CAN do good. That he CAN right his wrongs. And I think the first place we physically SEE that need and desperation is in his relationship with Ada during Seperate Ways

(But I’m gonna save that for another post cuz this one’s already getting too long and rambly BCNEJSNJX but the tl;dr is that Ada and Luis are two sides of the same coin. Ada is in a similar situation as Luis where her hands are tied and she has no other option BUT to do what she’s told, despite not wanting to, and I think Luis can tell that. He trusts her and puts so much faith in her cuz he KNOWS that when the time comes, she’ll do the right thing)

But getting back on track- at the point where we first meet Luis he’s hit a rock-bottom. All attempts to help people, to prove that he can do good things- ie joining Umbrella under the guise of medical research, creating the Plagas removal machine etc- have been squashed. Every. Single. Time. He’s living a cycle of trying to do good, trying to live up to the people he’s lost and is desperate to prove that to ANYONE. The guilt of his actions is consuming and in my humble opinion it’s genuinely so admirable that he STILL KEPT GOING despite it all!!!! but anyways!!!!!!! When Leon and Ashley roll into his life, two people who are completely innocent in everything happening around him, it’s the perfect chance for Luis to genuinely help somebody and prove that he can do good. They don’t know about his past! They don’t know about all the blood on his hands!!! He can FINALLY prove to somebody that he’s a good person!!!! They’re probably some of the first people he’s been able to have a proper conversation with aside from Ada in YEARS- he’s been beaten to the ground so many times that he’s willing to do ANYTHING to gain not just their trust, but their friendship and appreciation too.

I think a pretty subtly overlooked fact about Luis is that deep down, no matter how much bad he does, no matter how much he throws himself into his work, he craves companionship and human company. He keeps the photo of the Umbrella Dream Team and his lighter with him, the first place he runs to when things turn south is his childhood home- no matter how badly he tries to resist it, he craves human contact and a sense of familiarity over anything. He wants friends, people who see him as more than just his mistakes, as more than all the wrong he’s caused- he wants people to see him for who he is in the now, in the moment. Even when he feels as though he doesn’t deserve forgiveness or friendship. And yet Leon and Ashley and Ada give that to him before they even know his full story, before they even know what his motives are and why he cares so much. The last time Ashley met him, she put her faith in his work- the last time Ada saw him before his death, she equally put her faith into his work, too. And he gives that faith back tenfold, which I think is what makes his friendship with them all so compelling among other things.

But then there’s Leon. Leon, who by all means from Luis’ point of view, is the complete opposite of him. No matter how much life throws his way, no matter how much danger he’s in- Leon is seemingly incapable of doing the wrong thing. He’s EFFORTLESSLY a hero, his actions never backfire on him… something Luis craves so, so badly. He’s everything Luis wishes he could be, even when he has to uphold that uncaring suave persona, which going back to the original point of this ask (this got extremely rambly very quickly im so sorry GDNEHENCUDN) I think that cutscene where Luis gives Leon the medicine is where we can see that trust between characters fully cementing. Leon already KNOWS Luis worked with Umbrella, and I think at that point he’s already hazarded a guess at his involvement with Los Illuminados- by all means, he’s got zero reason to trust Luis. Yet he still does. He’s the person Luis has been craving for so long; somebody who can see straight past all his flaws and his past self and see Luis for LUIS (And once again, that blind trust is S O COMPELLING in my humble opinion) But obviously, Luis doesn’t know this at this point. He’s still trying to hesitantly form a friendship with Leon and prove to him that he’s a decent person whose deserving of love, even when he doesn’t feel that way about himself, and I think that’s probably what their conversation inbetween cutscenes would’ve been about.

Like you said, I think Luis probably would’ve been pretty concerned to say the least about the state Leon’s in HXNSHENDI we can see that he prioritises the safety of his friends (ie refusing to leave when Ada was showing symptoms, dropping his persona to comfort Ashley when she started coughing etc etc) so there definitely would’ve been some level of, ‘oh my god you dunce how tf did you get so bad here lemme did you up’, but also,,, I think Luis probably would’ve tried to make conversation with Leon. About literally anything- his love for Don Quixote, what he was getting up to while sexily waiting for Leon to get off the elevator etc etc- anything to strengthen that fragile yet ever growing bond between them. Again, just looking for companionship and somebody to see past the skeletons in his closet. And I’m SURE Leon probably would’ve done the most Leon thing ever and just respond with a bunch of ‘yeah’s or ‘ok’s WHENDHDNJXJX but whatever it was they talked about, if they talked at all, it clearly strengthened their bond. Or at the very least, if they didn’t say anything to each other, the pretty intimate act of administering medicine to another person probably would’ve been enough to more or less solidify Leon’s growing trust. I think also it would’ve given Luis an insight into how Leon works- ESPECIALLY with the way Leon’s insistent on prioritising Ashley immediately after. Then of course right after that cutscene is the first time we see Luis’ love for Don Quixote be said OUT LOUD but again I’ll save that for another post BCNSHENDJXNXN

Again I really really really really hope you don’t mind how LONG this turned out to be!!!!!!! I just LOVE talking about Luis’ character and his effect on the story and motivations etc and I love to ramble BCNEHENDJDJ there’s SO MANY OTHER fade to black cutscenes with Luis I’d love to dig my teeth into (cough cough THE HAND HOLD) so!!!!!!! Maybe someday soon idk!!!!!!!!!

[burningdreambanana]

An analysis on how the show turned Alicent into an accidental villain (part 2)

The portrayal of Alicent in season 2 is bizarre to say the least. On one hand, it seems like the writers are trying to keep her as a "good" character. On the other hand, it seems like they are trying really hard to humiliate her.

First of all, this desire to “humble” Alicent seems very strange considering they’ve went out of their way to portray Alicent as possible by making her crown Aegon based on a misunderstanding, she wasn’t aware of the plan to crown him, she refused to have Rhaenyra killed. 

Second of all their attempt to make Alicent sympathetic or a victim also fail spectacularly.

Alicent's behavior this season is utterly self-centered, delusional and stupid. To the point that it's comical at times

In this season she :

sleeps with Cole while leaving the door unlocked

barely gives a shit when her grandson is brutally murdered. Seriously, Alicent's lack of care for her grandchildren is disturbing, does she even know their names?

recognizes that Aegon is eager to please, proceeds to do nothing about it despite her "intelligence" and later insults him while he's already down and causes him to put himself in danger

feels very shallow guilt for that

doesn't take time to help her children with their grief, even though it's not even like she feels any grief herself that would overwhelm her

never proposes any plan of action at the council, yet expects not only to be taken seriously but to made regent, even though making Aemond regent makes perfect sense since he's the heir and the Green's biggest advantage

has the enemy near her, unprotected, and lets her go because of sentimentality

after not being made regent, instead of trying trying to leverage her influence in other ways, she just abandons, and then soon after betrays her entire family and faction

SHE CONDEMNS HER FAMILY TO DEATH. Seriously, Aegon, Aemond, Daeron and Otto are all dead if Rhaenyra becomes queen.

She doesn't even have the decency to share their fate (since she's admitting her mistakes), she is ready to just go live her best life in peace (where and how exactly, we don't know)

In the show, she is largely responsible for the beginning of the Dance, since apparently Rhaenyra would not have done anything to her siblings if Aegon was never crowned and the King's word is the only claim considered valid, yet she acts all season like she has no responsibility for it and condemns violence (like what did you think would happen when you dragged Aegon to the throne????). Which also feels very shallow because as a youtuber pointed out in their video about s2 of HOTD, just because we believe war is bad, doesn't mean we will automatically buy that medieval characters would believe that. They needed to establish in s1 that Alicent and Rhaenyra care about the innocents, not just be like we'll they are woman of course they care ! That's lazy

Plus all the random things Alicent does while her family is tearing itself apart like getting eaten out before a council, taking baths, lighting candles, swimming fully clothed, which many find boring but I just find very funny in how absurd it is.

In conclusion of both parts of this analysis, Alicent is a crazy, petty, bitter, jealous, self-centered, dumb, incompetent, delusional, hypocritical, judgmental, treacherous abusive mother with no self-awareness who doesn't love any of her children except Helaena (and that's debatable considering she was willing to let Daemon get away with what he did to her, she's more of a prop to her than a daughter), doesn't care about her grandchildren, doesn't care about her father, brother and lover, who refuses to take responsibilities for her action and is ready to sacrifice tons of people for her "freedom".

Which is fine, but then go all in, make her a soap opera villain and make us love to hate her. They could do that by stressing the comedic elements of a character like that, example: Joffrey is horrible but he is often very funny to watch, Lucille Bluth is another good example of a horrible but incredibly entertaining character.

[oldfashionedbooklove]

tell me about your favorite lm montgomery novel please <3

Okay this is SO hard because her books are amazing but I just have to admit Rilla of Ingleside is my favourite, which is saying a lot because I LOVE HER BOOKS, okay! I adore the Story Girl duology and I absolutely love the Anne series and Jane of Lantern Hill.

But Rilla. This book is a heartbreaker. And it’s so beautiful.

I don’t know if I can fully express how much is to be found in this book. I have been reading it yearly for many years, and always come away with new thoughts. As I grow older, and see more of the world, I relate and understand more, and another level of the book is discovered.

The setting—a small P.E.I. town carrying on through WWI. I’m pretty tough when it comes to war books, but I have to take breaks from this one because it is so raw and real. The agony is intense. I cannot even cry over it—my heart hurts too much for tears. This shows exactly what the Great War was for people. You sway back and forth, feeling the dread and terror. You know how it ends but you are broken anyhow. And when the end comes, you too can only rejoice softly. You feel as if you have paid part of the price yourself.

��‘We’re in a new world,’ Jem says, ‘and we’ve got to make it a better one than the old. That isn’t done yet, though some folks seem to think it ought to be. The job isn’t finished—it isn’t really begun. The old world is destroyed and we must build up the new one. It will be the task of years. I’ve seen enough of war to realize that we’ve got to make a world where wars can’t happen. We’ve given Prussianism its mortal wound but it isn’t dead yet and it isn’t confined to Germany either. It isn’t enough to drive out the old spirit—we’ve got to bring in the new.’”

The characters in this book—they are alive. Splendid Jem, brave and merry and true; Jerry, steady and dutiful; Walter, sensitive and courageous; Carl, cheerful and fearless; Shirley, honest and reliable; Nan and Di and Anne, all heart-wrung and smiling; Gertrude, tragic and grasping for hope; the Doctor, determined and self-sacrificing; Susan, simple and true—and Rilla, who starts out a silly, frivolous girl and ends a strong, mature woman. Then there are all the minor and side characters—the Merediths, Cousin Sophia, Jimsy, Ken, Irene, Whiskers-on-the-Moon & his family, Mary and the Elliotts, Norman + Ellen, and everyone else. They’re all so alive, so real, so funny and terrible and beautiful—I swear Glen St. Mary exists and all the inhabitants thereof.

The story follows the Great War, from the first days in August 1914 to the bitter Summer of 1919, where peace has come but normal will never return. As a child, this story was simply World War One—a faraway, long-ago grief and horror and agony. Now, in 2024, as a woman, I have experienced a slight taste of what the people of 1914 felt, and it has humanized the story of the War. This, more than any other book I have read, brings the War and the world of 1914-1918 to life, showing how they were people just like us. The heart is wrung by their suffering, and there is no escape, for the war must drag on for long bitter years. And the price! Walter has become the face of unknown, forgotten heroes, and Jem has become that of the scarred heroes who returned. Every November we grieve the young men who never came home, and for the ones who came home missing a part of themselves, physical or otherwise. I have wept thinking of the children of Rilla, Ken, Faith, Jem, and the others—children who fought in WWII and whose parents were forced to relive the horrible conflict of mankind.

“It has been such a dreadful week,” she wrote, “and even though it is over and we know that it was all a mistake that does not seem to do away with the bruises left by it. And yet it has in some ways been a very wonderful week and I have had some glimpses of things I never realized before—of how fine and brave people can be even in the midst of horrible suffering.”

And yet the book overflows with humour��real laugh-out-loud scenes and witty, clever banter on princes and politics. It is another aspect of the humanity—the part that cannot fully let go of laughing despite the drain. Another angle is the shrewd commentary on principalities and powers, nations and cultures, is thought-provoking, as is the remarks that show us how the war truly changed the world.

“There was a time,” she said sorrowfully, “when I did not care what happened outside of P.E. Island, and now a king cannot have a toothache in Russia or China but it worries me. It may be broadening to the mind, as the doctor said, but it is very painful to the feelings.”

But the biggest things to me is the SPIRIT of this book. The spirit of perseverance, endurance, courage, and love. Of course, man is man, and there is suspicion, contempt, and a feeling of superiority—but this is not exclusive only to Anglo-Saxons. As someone who isn’t Anglo-Saxon myself, and actually of mixed cultures, I can attest every nation is guilty of such. World War One was a battle of good vs. evil—not of man vs. man, but Idea against Idea—the idea of civilization against militarism. Perhaps not on the part of the leaders—but when one studies the writings, letters, poems, and speeches of the everyday folks caught up in the war, one sees this distinction plainly. It was not a war of European against European, Anglo-Saxon against German—it was a war between an old, terrible Idea of Prussianism (Frederick the Great, anyone?) and the Idea of Respect and Peace.

“And you will tell your children of the Idea we fought and died for—teach them it must be lived for as well as died for, else the price paid for it will have been given for nought.”

May we never forget.

A REMARK: I discovered that Rilla of Ingleside was abridged by about 4,300 words (~14 pages), so I searched for an unabridged copy. I definitely encourage you to take the extra trouble to find an *unabridged* copy. It is SO worth it! I’ve read both versions and the unabridged is so much fuller, with a great deal more humour and fun.

I just have to pick out my favourite quotes, too…

“We all come back to God in these days of soul-sifting,” said Gertrude to John Meredith. “There have been many days in the past when I didn't believe in God—not as God—only as the impersonal Great First Cause of the scientists. I believe in Him now—I have to—there's nothing else to fall back on but God—humbly, starkly, unconditionally.”

“‘Our help in ages past’—‘the same yesterday, to-day and for ever,’ said the minister gently. ‘When we forget God—He remembers us.’”

Below her [window] was a big apple-tree, a great swelling cone of rosy blossom.... Beyond Rainbow Valley there was a cloudy shore of morning with little ripples of sunrise breaking over it. The far, cold beauty of a lingering star shone above it. Why, in this world of springtime loveliness, must hearts break?

And I can’t leave without some humour:

“‘The Germans have recaptured Premysl,’ said Susan despairingly… ‘and now I suppose we will have to begin calling it by that uncivilized name again. Cousin Sophia was in when the mail came and when she heard the news she hove a sigh up from the depths of her stomach, Mrs. Dr. dear, and said, ‘Ah yes, and they will get Petrograd next I have no doubt.’ I said to her, ‘My knowledge of geography is not so profound as I wish it was but I have an idea that it is quite a walk from Premysl to Petrograd.’ Cousin Sophia sighed again and said, ‘The Grand Duke Nicholas is not the man I took him to be.’ ‘Do not let him know that,’ said I. ‘It might hurt his feelings and he has likely enough to worry him as it is.’ But you cannot cheer Cousin Sophia up, no matter how sarcastic you are, Mrs. Dr. dear. She sighed for the third time and groaned out, ‘But the Russians are retreating fast,’ and I said, ‘Well, what of it? They have plenty of room for retreating, have they not?’ But all the same, Mrs. Dr. dear, though I would never admit it to Cousin Sophia, I do not like the situation on the eastern front. [But] Grand Duke Nicholas, though he may have been a disappointment to us in some respects, knows how to run away decently and in order, and that is a very useful knowledge when Germans are chasing you. Norman Douglas declares he is just luring them on and killing ten of them to one he loses. But I am of the opinion he cannot help himself and is just doing the best he can under the circumstances, the same as the rest of us.’”

[literallymikewheeler]

sometimes i wish that the hunger games movies were casted a little differently. do not get me wrong, i absolutely adore jennifer lawrence and josh hutcherson !! their acting was perfect and felt so incredibly real !!! however, i feel like it was harder for people to truly understand what the entirety of the games were, with how much older they looked compared to their actual age in the book. most people in the cast were in their 20s/30s during the filming of the movie, while in the book they were a lot younger. as seen in the "if it werent for the baby" scene; as humans, we sympathize a lot more with the younger people are. specially babies, kids and teens. yes, the movies did show how disgusting and horrible the games were, however, they did not exactly tap into a lot of peoples "they are just kids" mindset. one of the most memorable parts of the movies, however, is rue (and prims) death, which is one of a kid played by a kid. aka: the "they are just kids" mindset. if katniss, peeta, and gale were casted as they were in the books (16, 16, 18) they (being both the movie writers and the audience) would have focused more on the horribleness of it all, rather than the "love triangle" the movie tried to create to get more viewers. this also goes to show about the fact that people seem to dislike katniss' character for being too "mean" and "rude". in the books, we see a scared, traumatized kid, while the movies see a scared, traumatized adult (yes, i know she was a kid in the movies too, but a lot of people see her as jennifers age at the time, which was in her 20s) and as much as we should treat trauma equally, many people tend to show more sympathy, and understanding of the actions for kids with trauma then adults. this goes for gale as well. in the books, even if you dont like his character, you will be able to somewhat sympathize with him and understand how complex he is (+ this only applies you have common media literacy !!) while in the movies, we see an adult making all of his "mistakes", and think "well, he should know better!" if it were an 18-year-old boy in the movies who had just watched almost all of his district die, having to choose who to and who to not save, and then immediately get manipulated by coin (all while struggling with his grief, and anger towards the world) people would have understood him a lot better. while in the movies we get "prim reaper !! haha !!" "peeta is so much better ! i hate gale !!" (i was going to end this rant here, but i have one more thing and im done, i promise !) a lot of people will only watch the hunger games to talk about how hot, or attractive they find the characters, completely missing the point. these are kids. they are not some character whos whole point of being is for your visual approval. i will see an edit of finnick (i know he isnt a kid, but the point still stands) and the caption will be something like "i need him so badly" "on my knees for this man", and all i can think about is how many of you guys are just proving suzannes point. especially when it comes to finnicks plot, and what he went through because of snow at only 16. i will see people talk online about how much they love this ship, or about how attractive they find this character, but i rarely see anything talking about the actual point of the games (this is mainly only the nonreaders though) the movies completely went over half the audiences head, and i think that is similar as to what happened with tbosas too ("omg ! president snow is so hot !!") suzanne is just going to keep writing books and keep making them in movies, until everyone can finally understand the point of it all.

[liesmyth]

hi, i've been following you for a while now because it seems we have similar taste in media (especially thematically). an agonizing event occurred last week that's left me somewhat selectively mute and unable to work. i can't find joy or interest or love for anything. the locked tomb has always been there for me during my lowest points (me and harrow are like this 🤞) but i'm in such a horrible place that not even muir is helping. i love reading your TLT metas and trust your judgement based on those, so i was wondering if you had any recommendations for books/media that deals with grief and loss in fantastical settings. or just big, messy, taboo feelings in general. i'm looking for anything at this point.

Hi anon, sorry to hear this and I really hope you feel better soon. I'm sending you a big hug if you want it and I'm thinking of you very fondly. I'm not sure I can recommend exactly what you're asking for but I dearly hope some of these can distract you a bit. Please let me know if you want further content warnings + if anyone else has recs, feel free to chime in!

The Screwfly Solution by James Tiptree Jr. — This is a short story that I reread about once a year when I really want something that'll hit and fuck me up. You can find it in full here. It's an apocalyptic short story, very haunting, and the last line hits like a punch in the gut. CW for gendered violence all over the place if that's something you'd rather avoid.

The House of the Spirits by Isabel Allende — This is a generational saga set in 20th century Cile. It isn't sff, although it does have some magical realism elements, so I'm chetaing and putting it in here anyway. The first time I read it, it made me cry, and it remains my favourite Allende novel.

The Last Man Alive by A.S. Neill — A middle grade speculative fiction written in 1930s Britain, which is ostensibly for kids but, in the tradition of British children's literature, gets pretty fucking dark and creepy. It's about a group of schoolchildren and their teacher who survived a poisonous cloud that turned everyone else into stone, and by everyone else I mean the entire world. It gets pretty dark at times, and I remember being sucked-punched finishing the book and reading in the afterword what happened to each of the children who were the inspiration for the characters in the book. It's a very weird little novel, but also interesting in that "vintage scifi" vibe.

Cuckoo Song by Frances Hardinge — This is another middle grade novel and probably the lightest read of this entire fic; [spoilers ahead] it's about a changeling who doesn't have a memory of being made, and at first thinks she is the human girl she was meant to replace, and only slowly realises that something is wrong. It's ultimately a feel-good story but I found it bittersweet all around, and I think the themes of identity and self growth + the creepy fairytale vibes make it worth a rec in case you think it could help right now.

Tender is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica — This is a book about the mundane day-to-day happenings in a dystopia where cannibalism has been legitimised as a form of population control, and large swats of people are regarded as subhuman and eaten. It's very bleak and more plot driven than character-driven, so I'm hesitant to rec it if your usual go-to is TLT; but I think the story does very good things with the tight narrator POV + there are themes of alienations from family, eldercare and anticipation of grief. It's definitely a story that fucked me up a bit.

+ not sff in the least, but I finished this book very recently and it's still on my mind: I recently read The Manicurist's Daughter, a memoir that's primarily about dealing with grief from the loss of a parent, and how grief can destroy a family + trying to reconnect despite that. It's not exactly engrossing in parts, and I'm not sure I should rec it here because I found it too slow-paced to count as a real "cathartic read" but there was something about the numbness after suffering a loss and the ugly side of it that really spoke to me.

+ not a book and I haven't watched it in years but I think you might enjoy Revolutionary Girl Utena if you haven't seen it already. It spoke to me in the same way some parts of TLT do (and it's very gay)

[elytrafemme]

i think i'm going to take a break from tumblr. (that's the TLDR, the rest of the post is long ramblings) i know that's shitty, because God knows I never check discord (not nearly as much as i should, but there's just so much) and barely reply to ao3 comments and so the least i could do is just exist here. but being on here makes the anger and grief i've been feeling for the last few weeks amplify. i can't exactly place it (well, i can place some of it, but that's neither here nor there), but i think while online activism in a place truly as online and disconnected as tumblr can be meaningful, it's so much more important to me right now to be fighting the battle in the world around me. and to find that community. because obviously i love you guys but when i feel like i'm about to spiral into a horrible place, i have to find company in the form of someone physically with me (maybe my therapist was right about me having someone on standby in this city huh). and when i see people with the most horrific understandings of what is happening in the world, to my siblings across the water, it's easier to contest that and stomach it when it's around me here than online. because at least i can do something about one of those things. what's happening in Gaza (and i admit I need to educate myself more about what's occurring in Armenia & Sudan) contains a pain that i only know a sliver of, being a second generation Iraqi Muslim across the Atlantic. but the pain is still visceral, and i've never felt this disappointed in myself in my entire life every fucking second. i'm on the edge of a relapse into something i thought i got over two years ago, and i can barely exist with myself when i'm alone but can't bring myself to ask for help. i just want to lay on my friends' air mattress in the floor above mine and never see my old friends or family again. october was the best month of my life, but simultaneously the worst, because every time there wasn't a movie night or a hangout i was cracking into pieces. for the first time in five years i need to make a safety plan, not for my life but for what i do within it. because i have no idea what tomorrow is going to look like for me but i know it's not going to be good. i'm convinced people are watching me and that if i make just one post here i'm going to hear someone banging on my door and i am so fucking scared. i usually repress these things but yesterday's realization that i'm more alone than i've ever been, and that i've been alone for so much longer than i thought, is making it hard to breathe. i don't know how to be a good person. i don't know how to live with myself anymore.

so i'm taking a break from tumblr. i might still be liking posts, but i need to force myself to stop using the site. i don't remember my password entirely so i don't want to log out, but i won't be here. it's also safe to say i'll be gone from discord for a while, too. looking at my dms makes me nauseous and i hope at least one person may be able to understand why. i'm sorry to my friends who i've not replied to in a while, i love you and i think of you and there will be a reply. obviously with every "i'm taking a break" post there's the odds i'm back here tomorrow, but i don't think that's the case.

i'll be okay. i love you all. see you.

[dulcewrites]

Whole different type of delusion that I see in this fandom is how helaemond shippers act. All they say is everyone should support Helaena cheating on her unfaithful husband because if you someone doesn't, it's misogynistic, but when you mention Alicent having sex with Criston in season 2 they are furious and say Alicent is not Rhaenyra to sleep around 😂

For them it's like helaemond makes sense because Helaena was smarter than Rhaenyra so no one knew Aemond's the father.

And then when you point out they behave exactly like daemyra stans they are surprised 😂

I knew Alys will be hated in fandom because of 2 things. By Blacks because she was better Queen at Harrenhall than Rhaenyra was for 6 months time and Alys have no supporters and no dragon and no Aemond by her side because he was dead then. And by Greens because she is the opposite of Alicent and Helaena who are stuck and doomed and living in the cage.

But the one truly doomed is in fact Alys. She is lowborn bastard and women, so she means nothing and can be used by her family as they please. And yet she survives and makes the best out of Dance. All without any political machinations, she just took power over Harrenhall and no one took it away from her. If this isn't the best character of this show I don't know who may be.

I think in general people in this fandom, and this is something I must remind myself as well, need to program their brains to stop relating every single thing that happens to a woman in this story to a man. Especially romantically

It is pretty clear that one major point at the base of hotd is patriarchy and how way men often use the girls/women in their lives as pawns or martyrs. Whether people think it was well done or not is their choice, but it is clearly there. That conversation I get, and think we need to have. But the way people are so hellbent on ‘pairing’ women in this story with someone, specifically men, can get exhausting.

Why is the most horrid thing that happens in the dance, something that fundamentally breaks Helaena as a person turned into an argument to either uplift/tear down Aegon or Aemond?? Why is her taking her own life out of grief and fear about her brother(s)???

Why does Alicent, someone who clearly has been through sexual trauma in her life at the hands of men - someone who already has creepy psychosexual relationships with men in her life, have to sleep with criston?? Hell, why does criston someone that’s been taken advantage of by nobility (depending on how you read that scene in ep 4) have to sleep with Alicent, his queen???

If Helaena wants to be unfaithful to her husband, I will support her bc Aegon is not a good husband lmao. But the idea she needs to be with her brother, and he had those kids with her is… very odd to me. I don’t see it and idc if that makes me a hater. In general, I think people’s insistence on taking one of the few targ characters that doesn’t have incest as a major footnote in his story (Aemond) and making him into someone he isn’t, is annoying.

People (rightfully) point out how horrible targaryen girls/women are treated but then perpetuate the one thing that has led to many targ women’s downfall: The idea that they are property to the men in their family.

As for alys, she was going to be hated on several reasons : 1. Ageism (people call show and book Alicent a hag despite show Alicent being in her 30s and book Alicent being in her 40s). 2. The fact that aemond is now the fandom fanfic bike aka he gets ridden/shipped with everyone and him having a canon love interest pisses people off. 3. Low born or bastard born women get treated very differently by the fanbase than their male counterparts. 4. The murky relationship between her and Aemond. Now as someone who is excited to see where they take alysmond, even I can understand why people may put off by it. First you have the age difference on the side of her taking advantage of him. Especially now that in the show it has been implied Aemond delt with his own s.a. But by the time they meet, Aemond is Prince Regent. Clearly in a position of power over her. It is dubious and it’s ok to point that out.

But I’m sure as hell not gonna be reprimanded by daemrya or helaemond shippers on that. They clearly don’t give a shit about what is above board 💀💀. At at the very least, every alysmond shipper I’ve personally come across is very open and clear about alys and Aemond’s relationship, and the possible stipulations. I can’t say the same for the other two camps.

Every woman in this story, nobility or low born, has been through shit. That’s the whole point and the bitch of patriarchy. It affects every woman to a certain degree. Of course someone like Rhaenyra or Alicent has lived a very different life than Alys, and that needs to pointed out. All women are not on equal playing field. But all of them have been trapped or stuck at one point or another. How these women maneuver this world is important because of how differently each live, which is why it is dumb when people advocate for their stories to be cut (Sara, nettles, alys). These characters being vehemently hated by ANYONE is weird asf to me.

I enjoy team green, I write for team green, but people take this ‘team’ stuff too seriously sometimes. Well.. when it comes to the women. The male characters can get it lmao. I personally don’t like the rhetoric around how most women in story get spoken about. People are so focused on whose winning or shipping that the point of the story gets lost. And frankly regurgitating the same points and arguments sucks the fun out a show…shame. If people hate everything about it or have to make up crazy theories for it to work… just don’t watch 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

[misscissyturner]

Call the Midwife Ep 4

Some thoughts

So…

Moon landing !! Loved that so nice seeing Sister Monica Joan bursting with pure happiness.

TB … that poor family didn’t expect the death not going to lie. Yet no mention of the turners when it came to Shelagh and her Tb. I wasn’t that surprised because CtM and continuity aren’t exactly a match made in heaven

Nancy.. I’m glad she got what I’m hoping is some closure for her. Not knowing what has happened to you family must be hard and that just have helped with her grief process. Her protecting Collette at the end is totally understandable and justified and I’m pleased she got that beautiful storyline. But I feel it could have been tied into Shelaghs time with TB.

The Pupil midwives … that must have been hard for Joyce to come forward and tell the facts of what happened. The act of “telling on” other staff is still an issue the NHS faces today as well as many other workforces but she done the right thing. Although personally I would have called out Trixie before the events happened. Leaving to take a phone call for a start and then for clearly rushing.

Trixie … I’m taking her separately because I really felt for her this episode. Midwives make mistakes and it’s a horrible feeling knowing you have caused harm on a mother and that it could have been avoided.

Trixie and Matthew… I’m not willing to comment really. Because my blood is actually boiling. With the rumours of Olly Rix leaving the show I wonder if they are trying to make him unlikable so we don’t care if he ends up leaving. However he had no right expecting that of Trixie. CtM has showed the great changes in married women in the workforce way back from Chimmy continuing to work to Shelagh and now Trixie. Chummy and Shelagh did adapt how they worked because anyone with kids will tell you that you can’t go back to working the same way you did before kids. I feel Trixie would have had to do the exact same and shifts like on call and night shifts aren’t always as feasible for people who have family commitments and kids. But still if anyone can make it work it’s Trixie but only if Matthew allows.

That’s all I have to say at the moment

[dootznbootz]

hi! im so curious abt whether or not you have any hcs/thoughts abt when helen and penelope found out abt what happened to agamemnon and then later clytemnestra? (srry if youve answered smth similar before! i looked thru the tags and didnt seem to find anything)

With Penelope, I kind of have it planned where I go into a bit with how Nauplius, the father of Palamedes, goes and fucks with the other kings by going to their homelands and telling their wives they're bringing back a new bride so that the queens would, you know, take on a lover or boot out the king when he comes back.

I think it's funny af that Palamedes' dad went around trying to fuck with the other king's kingdoms and it worked as most of their wives had affairs but then you have Penelope, the WIFE of the guy who set your son up to get murdered, and she wasn't buying it. Got revenge on all the kings except for the one who was truly responsible because his wife was too cool.

I love imagining him trying to convince Penelope, who's already like "You're telling me, my husband, the embodiment of simping, is going to replace me? When he knows I'm the best thing that ever happened to him?"

But when she realizes who this man is??? She's fucking FURIOUS. this is the father of the man who put their CHILD in such a dangerous situation and is the reason why her husband is away from her. She throws him out but Nauplius gets to Odysseus' parents and...tells them he died. He lied so at least he could hurt Odysseus in some way at least...Also Ironic as Palamedes I'm pretty sure is a distant descendant of Poseidon. There's something there >:D

But idk for sure how EXACTLY I'm going to have it go down but I like the thought of the family at least COMMUNICATING and sometimes visiting each other. Maybe Penelope visiting Hermione as her auntie kind of. Maybe visiting her siblings, mother, and father (until he tries to convince her to remarry again. then she avoids him :( ). Same with Clytemnestra. And idk for SURE but everyone has an inkling that she's having an affair with Aegisthus but no one knows for sure. Penelope tries to bring up Nauplius but...isn't able to get anywhere (can't spoil everything!)

When she finds out what happens it's a "I KNEW IT!" and anger as she's saddened as she cared for both these people so much as she grew up with them nearby. First Helen was kidnapped, her husband is gone, she can't see her siblings as often, now another person she grew up with and cared about is not only dead but also the one who killed them was another person she cared about! And she doesn't know how Ithaca, being a smaller island as a whole, could help their children. She's sad for them but also knows that she already has so much on her plate that she can't really help them. (also somewhat selfish :P Her and Odysseus are like-minded)

There's a part of me that thinks that, being the somewhat "I will do whatever I have to do to get on top" part of her would just "play along" to get resources from Mycenae while deep down feeling like "There will be consequences" or she would completely ignore and no longer do things with them until Orestes takes it back. She's got a lot going on with the suitors as well so idk for sure yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

WITH HELEN, that's much more complicated. She's been gone so long, and has to worry about getting back to her kingdom and looking forward to seeing her family again only to realize that some of her family has done something horrendous. Her sister killed her Brother-in-law! Menelaus' brother!! She grew up caring for Agamemnon as well! And also her husband is grieving!!! There is...SO MUCH going on. She's probably able to grieve a bit while in Egypt (because if I remember correctly they find out through Proteus, yeah?) There's grief for the sister she knew. She was ripped away from Hermione, how could her own sister not only kill her husband, but also send her children away and be so horrible to them?! But kind of in the same way as Penelope, so much on their plate with just returning, that they don't know how much they can do until later. I don't think they would be willing to do any sort of interaction with Mycenae afterward though. :P

Little side thing, but since I love MenOdy's BROTP, I'd like to think that Menelaus, being told by Proteus, a deity, where Odysseus was at, was kind of "mind-wiped" until Telemachus comes as "it's not the right time yet" with the gods. Menelaus and Helen realize afterward of "HoLY FUCK WE SHOULD'VE TOLD PENELOPE!!!" as they care about both Odysseus and Penelope. Also doesn't help that yeah, gotten news about bro/brother in law being murdered so there's a LOT going on. but I don't like to think they simply forgot??? when for one thing, I plan to write them as all very close?? NO >:(

It was just prophecy shit of "Hey, it HAS to be 20 years, mm'kay?"

[tearlessrain]

the thing about karlach's ending that pisses me off is that it doesn't make sense if you do everything you can for her though. the gondians are master workers of infernal iron, and if you liberate the house of hope, and make sure dammon lives, you have all the ingredients needed to help karlach's condition improve. it simply doesn't make sense for her to say that she will NEVER EVER go back to avernus even when you have a safe place to set up an independent hellforge and work on a new non-explosive heart replacement. it frustrated me immensely that in my playthrough because i didn't choose to romance her and i had wyll become a baldur's gate bigwig, she chose actively to explode and die... when i had everything i needed to save her life. to go on the terminal illness theme, it felt to me like she had cancer and i had chemo and she was rejecting it and choosing to die horribly instead of get it treated... which totally does happen IRL, but isn't exactly FAIR to her as a character. it's good writing because it makes me engage emotionally with it to this level but it's frustrating because i felt like i should have been able to save her with the pieces available in the game.

this is all also leaving aside that gale has a scroll of true resurrection in his fuckening satchel. WHY can't i immediately use it on Karlach after she 'plodes lol is Gale really that selfish?

okay fuck it, I'll bite. yeah, it IS unfair and frustrating and she doesn't deserve any of it, and that was kinda the whole point and it's why I think they did such a good job with Karlach's arc. because, again, it was a pretty clear metaphor for terminal illness and the associated grief/helplessness/denial/scrambling for solutions that comes with dealing with it. your chemo metaphor is interesting because as you've mentioned people DO often choose not to go through chemo, because chemo itself is miserable and draining and wrecks your body and is not guaranteed to work, and some people would prefer to just remain as active and present as possible for as long as possible and then go out when it's time, especially if the cancer is aggressive and terminal and chemo may not do much. kind of like going to Avernus would be miserable and draining and dangerous, and Karlach stated many times how much she hates Avernus and would rather die than go back. how on earth does it not make sense that she wouldn't choose that, especially believing as she did that she would immediately be shanghaied back into Zariel's service indefinitely after so many years of being desperate for freedom.

though ironically, people in real life sometimes react to cancer patients choosing not to do chemo or other procedures that suck/are invasive and awful the same way you're reacting to Karlach not wanting to go to Avernus. sometimes, and for some people, it's not about just extending your life as far as possible at any cost. there's a point at which it isn't worth it, and that point is different for everyone. and BOY does that make some folks upset when a loved one's "it's not worth it" point is different from theirs. It's why DNR is a thing, and it's also why you should think very carefully about who you want making medical decisions for you if you're incapacitated and have a talk with that person/clear instructions written up.

I already mentioned in the post that they sort of dropped the ball on not explaining why all those potential avenues don't work so I don't know what you expect me to say about that, but I stand by my previous statement of "all I really need them to say is 'yeah the gondians agree, this thing is fucked' and I'll accept that." I would love for them to add that in. but I don't think it should be fixable.

finally, considering that the scroll of true resurrection was intended to be used on Gale during that quest, yes it's on Larian for letting you revive him in other ways and keep the thing, but it's still metagame-y and I don't think it qualifies as a plot hole so much as a game design flaw. it annoys me when people bring up "why didn't they account for my cheesing in the story" arguments as writing critiques.

[unohanabbygirl]

This is a Q for your HIPS x FMN universe I’ve been following in your asks. Could you give us insight on what things would be like in the present day if that night at Storm’s End Luke had died from Aemond assaulting him? The reason people know is because there was a witness (very faithful to the Seven) who brought Luke’s body back to Deagonstone and reported what happened? Luke was already dead when they came upon what Aemond was doing to him and was too terrified to move any earlier. I’d imagine things would be ten times worse in both the past and in the present with the reincarnated characters. Would the r*pe be much less romanticized in history/art because a) there’s no Osferth and b) how you mentioned rut madness causes alphas to keep assaulting the omegas even after their deaths? How would the family dynamics be now that Aemond is not only a r*pist but a murdering necrophiliac? Is Alicent still a staunch supporter with Helaena also giving her loyalty? Does Aemond become a recluse because other reincarnated people who lived during his time keep attacking him? Is he still obsessed with art of him and Luke or did the blacks murder him the moment he was discovered? How much worse is Luke’s process of remembering now that his years of Osferth aren’t there to dull the trauma of being sexually assaulted to death? Sorry if this is extremely dark!

Look here, we love dark asks around here babe so no apologies are needed. My stories and their lore aren’t exactly for the faint of heart to begin with so this isn’t a problem at all. I welcome it really.

This scenario is something i’ve imagined but never given much thought to considering how drastic the change in dynamics in both past and future would be had Luke actually died that day. To start off, Aemond’s assault on Luke wouldn’t be romanticized as it is in our normal FMN X HIPS canon timeline. (if only by extremely niche dark artists who most of society actively shuns rather than propping them and their works on a pedestal because it’s just that disturbing)

The reason Lucemond is so romanticized in so many forms of media is because of Osferth’s existence and nothing more. Yes, the idea of forbidden lust being too much for Aemond’s rut madden mind to ignore is a driving force but it’s not nearly the bulk of it.

Osferth was the sweet omega son of two prince’s with a dark history. Born out of the cruelest most deprived act someone could commit. He has Aemond’s face yet was blessed with Luke’s dark hair and chocolate eyes. A kind boy who wouldn’t hurt a fly, innocence in its purest form. The child who clung onto his mother when forced to present themselves to a court full of shocked nobles meant to humiliate them. The fact that something so pure could come of something so horrible is what makes Luke and Aemond’a story so appealing to most people, even if the appeal is problematic and quite disgusting. Them being forever connected to each other by a child drives people to create and lust over their story. So when you take Osferth’s existence out of the equation and leave Luke lifeless with a barely recognizable body in a strangers arms, that appeal is lost. Left with only a sickening image of gore. No forbidden want or aching bloodlust which led to a sweet child being created and hidden from the world, but unfiltered grief.

This ending is so much more violent which is a little impressive seeing as the situation was already so disturbing. It’s not only cruel and repulsive but physically nauseating to imagine as when an omega is killed during an assault it’s usually because the alpha has broken bones, ripped out hair, and crushed spines. Leaving their victims unrecognizable to their loved ones. Rhaenyra would’ve had to smell her son’s corpse to find out if this body is truly her Luke because everything’s just….battered meat. Has to hold his blue hand in her own just to make sure.

This would leave any parent traumatized, so much so that vengeance for Luke fell on Daemon and Corlys shoulders while Jace was away because Rhaenyra is a shell of the woman she once was after being forced to see that. Frozen and unmoving. Lost in her head.

It changes the green family dynamics a great deal as well. While Alicent still supports him (we must remember that Aemond is to Alicent what Luke is to Nyra. She’s never leaving his side no matter what he’s done.) She can barely stand to look at him. It’s one thing for Luke to have hidden away with baby Osferth for 14+ years because Alicent can just chalk it up to Luke seducing him only to run away in shame. But the undeniable fact that Aemond raped Luke until his body was mush fucks her head up. Luke’s face haunts her at night.

Alicent loves her son more than life and can’t find it in herself to hate him, but the thought of even touching him makes her sick. Causing him to grow up receiving little to no physical touch or conversation with her unless they’re in an argument.

Helaena is the same in a way but instead of giving her support, chooses to walk away from their family as a whole. She knows what Omegas look like after a normal alpha attacks them (she herself had been left in terrible condition plenty of times after Aegon’s assaults and he’s only a beta) so just imagining what was left of her nephew after Aemond raped him is too much to handle. She loves him and sends her love through texts and the odd picture of her and the children every once in a while, but she can’t find it in herself to stand by him. For her Osferth was that cushion to soften Aemond’s actions. Like, yea he raped their nephew but from it came such a nice boy. This route leaves her with nothing to soften that blow and it hurts like hell.

When it comes to common folk who’ve been reincarnated, Aemond deals with them every once in a while and it’s not easy. They’re aggressive which is understandable. Pissed off and overall disgusted which is something he’s been dealing with since the act happened. Because this version of Aemond doesn’t have his mother’s constant coddling to assure him he’s in the right, Aemond usually accepts the verbal and physical abuse. He lacks confidence and his ego is dust. The art created of the act isn’t beautiful or mesmerizing, it’s horrid and brutal. Luke isn’t depicted as the beauty he was, but a broken bloody shell of what used to be a boy.

Aemond looks at these pieces often though there aren’t nearly as many and the art isn’t praised nor hung in museums for the public to see. He spends time searching not because he’s obsessed with the beauty but because he’s punishing himself.

Luke remembering is a tricky process because Osferth is meant to be his piece of the past that helps ring in the memories of a happy life with his son. Now that Osferth doesn’t exist getting Luke to remember depends solely on Aemond as his most defining moment in both life and death involve him. Normally, just spending extended periods of time with his son would slowly bring the memories in because becoming a mother shaped the rest of his life. Taming him away means Aemond is that person.

[pleckthaniel]

Hey there, hope you're having a great day!

(From what I can tell) I uh. Have a friend who is in a very similar situation with their parents to you. Unfortunately we are both minors, so they can't just leave so

Do you have any advice?(for them or me). I..realize that I can't help them much but it's frustrating doing nothing while I know they're being mistreated

Hi dear! Thank you.

I'm not certain what exactly you mean by a similar situation - psychological abuse, neglect, a bad reaction to queerness, some combination of the above or worse things - but unfortunately if it is similar to what I went through, ie not extreme enough to catch the attention of child services, then the most practical advice I could give to your friend is just not to lose sight of their goal of escape. When you're a minor, you're legally and practically stuck with your parents if you want to survive to adulthood unscathed. When you're a new adult who's spent nearly 2 decades having to put up with abuse, it can be very easy to keep putting off that moment of reckoning.

Healing can't happen until you're safe, and if your parents are shitty, you'll never be safe with them. It's a horrible thing to have to reckon with. It's a lot of grief to have to carry.

The good news is that, as someone who has gone through all this, I can tell you for a fact that it really is so much better to be an adult. My parents constantly tried to scare me away from independence by telling me how awful their lives and responsibilities were and how lucky I was to be a child, but I would rather pay bills and work and do my own chores than spend another minute under their thumb. It is so, so, so worth it to be free.

To you, I would say a few things: You sound like a very sweet kid. If you want to make a big difference in your friend's life, then keep being a great friend to them. You can't replace their parents - and shouldn't feel like you have to - but you can give them happy days and the knowledge that someone really does love them.

If your parents are safe people, you can also help by talking to them about your friend's situation and seeing what they might be willing to do to help. Legally they might be in a sticky situation if they tried to take in a kid that wasn't theirs for example, but you could definitely see if regular sleepovers are a possibility. Teachers and other adult mentors could also be a good resource, though be sure to be mindful of your phraseage around mandated reporters.

Be sure, through all of this, that you center your own well-being. It can be hard to watch other people struggle and sometimes it feels like we have a responsibility to help fix them. Remember that abuse is a cycle, and you can't end it without healthy boundaries and a strong relationship with YOUR self.

I hope things get better soon for your friend, and I hope you do what you can and find peace in that.

<3

[margonite-seer]

The Tragic Love Story of Zohaqan & Nakis, or: a rant about the unnecessarily lonely tormented grief of the storm djinn and how to fix his broken heart

So yesterday I finished reading one of the best long fanfictions I've ever found. If you are interested, here is the link. But by the gods, it made me sad that ANet never continued the story of this canon inter-species homosexual couple.

Down below, I put my own ideas on how their story could end.

But to provide the context:

A powerful male djinn lived on mainland Elona, around the Elon Riverlands. He was not only attuned to one element, as most djinns are, but to three: water, air, and earth. His name was Zohaqan.

Some unknown time before the beginning of the events of Living World Season 4, he fell in love with a male human. His name was Nakis.

Something or, more probably, someone, made the Riverlands undesirable, maybe even dangerous for them. And so, from their dilemma, we have one letter, which Zohaqan left in a cave:

"My darling Nakis, my tender Nakis, my clever Nakis…you're right. Let's go. We'll flee tomorrow."

Eventually, they found their new home on the eastern coast of the northern Sandswept isle. There, they left their own marking. They burnt an image of themselves into a tree on the beach. With it, also their initials, Z + N, in a heart.

Their happy life wouldn't last long, though.

The nearby Inquest somehow managed to capture Nakis.

And eventually killed him, presumably during experiments in Rata Primus.

Poor Nakis's prayer beads would later be found inside the main complex. It is not known how Zohaqan learned of his death. Maybe he stormed the facility Nakis was being held in and found him dead there, most probably from experiments on the scarab plague. Or killed by a mutated specimen. Or turned into a corrupted subject himself. Or maybe, given how magical djinns are, Zohaqan just felt it.

But it is definite that it absolutely broke the powerful djinn. By the time the Commander made it to the islands, Zohaqan had turned mercilessly hateful towards all mortals. In his deep grief, he created large violent storms that threatened everyone on the islands. This is known in the game as the "Gathering Storms" meta event.

Blinded by rage and sorrow, he didn't let anyone near his cave which was very close to his and Nakis's tree.

During the meta event, he would scream:

"There shall be no mercy for your trespass!"

"Heartless fools! You will pay in blood!"

"You mortals feign civility, yet speak nothing but treachery and lies!"

The Stormcaller, as he was nicknamed, was confronted in his own cave at the end of the meta event.

One of the last things he said before he was defeated was:

"They stole from me, and now you barge in here with empty demands? You know nothing! You ARE nothing!"

Some Olmakhan say he was destroyed for good. Some say he is powerful enough to return and continue his grief-stricken rage. Depending on how you understand the canon or non-canon repeating of the meta event, anything could be true.

Either way, his story never had any real closure.

Zohaqan either died alone and was metaphorically spat on, with no memorial or grave for either him or Nakis.

Or, he is now stuck in a loop of living in tormenting grief, getting beaten to a pulp, laying dormant for a while, and then living in grief again. And that's such a horrible horrible fate.

The Commander helped Efi, an Olmakhan cub, with her grief of losing her mother.

I'm asking: Why nobody helped Zohaqan?

Much worse people than him have been redeemed and forgiven in this game's story...

Why not him? He deserves it just as much.

Now finally to the theories and my ideas on what to do next:

First things first, we don't know what exactly happened to Nakis. Or where his body is. However, the closest we have to a hint is what I mentioned about him getting turned into a corrupted subject himself. And I could be simply reading too much into this, but: in the southern meta event of the Sandswept Isles, you fight in The Specimen Chamber. Two out of six possible mutated bosses spawn, all of them results of experiments with Elder Dragon magic.

Five of them have names. The last one is simply "Subject Beta".

Subject Beta is a Branded. A male human Branded.

You already know what I am hinting at...

Moving on, there is one more object related to Zohaqan. Under certain circumstances, one of the drops from the event where you defeat him is called "Smashed Vase". Its description says "A small vase, reminiscent of work from Vabbi."

Could it be what Zohaqan was bound to after he and Nakis fled the mainland? If so, does it mean smashing the vase released Zohaqan's spirit all over the islands? Or was the vase smashed before the event?

Lastly, how to fix Zohaqan's broken spirit?

As I mentioned, he is a very powerful djinn. I have never encountered any djinn in the game who could command two elements, let alone three. An Olmakhan elder also thinks that he's powerful enough to come back and return to his mad rampage.

But I do not blame him in the slightest for mourning in such a violent way.

Zohaqan should be redeemed and mainly, given his peace.

Who knows how long the djinns live? How deep their love can go?

However, he sure is suffering alone.

And I wish he wasn't. I wish the writers looked at his story again and gave him a proper closure.

He deserves it.

I, personally, can see three ways this could potentially go in the future:

1: Zohaqan joins the Olmakhan and/or fights with us to destroy the Inquest for good

A friend of mine got me thinking about this, and honestly, it's perfect. Zohaqan is an elemental being. He's commanding entire storms. He shouldn't have to be necessarily human enough to better avoid conflict and soul-rotting revenge at all costs.

But instead of blind rage, he could have taken the years since the second episode of season 4 to calm down just a little and finally not be an enemy of the Olmakhan. I am sure they would be understanding enough to accept him. Instead of putting the innocent in danger, he could finally, after all those years, have a goal, an ambition now: take revenge on the ones who brutally murdered his love, not on simply everybody near.

Zohaqan is voiced by Tommie Earl Jenkins, who voiced Blish, Cloudseeker, or the Wolverine Spirit. That being said, quite recent characters. Shouldn't be that big of a stretch to have him return to this role, too, no?

Still. The Inquest are one of the few major enemy groups that haven't been dealt with yet. It'll surely need quite a big story arc to destroy them for good. The Commander will need all the help they can get.

Why not the Olmakhan, still mourning their lost ones, together with Zohaqan, the heartbroken yet mighty and powerful three-elemental djinn, with revenge on his mind?

After he finally sees the Inquest are no more, he could consider Nakis avenged. And could finally move on with his life as not a threat to everybody around him, though still forever scarred.

2: Zohaqan puts up a fight one last time and is finally and definitely put out of his misery

The saddest of the three ideas.

We did not get any definite answer to what happened to Zohaqan after the end of the meta event. So, even if the writers want him dead and never redeemed, why not make it final?

Just destroy him to the point where his soul simply ceases to be, as the djinns seem to work in the way I assume.

That's better than living in centuries of torment.

3: Zohaqan and Nakis find peace in the afterlife, somehow

I doubt the djinns have an afterlife when they die. They're basically sentient elementals, after all. And though they have souls, could they be ghosts? Have there ever been ghost djinns in either of the two games? I don't think so.

But humans do have an afterlife either in the Underworld or as ghosts in the mortal realm.

Couldn't Zohaqan somehow find a way to the Mists? Or couldn't Nakis's spirit-ghost somehow be bounded to his and Zohaqan's tree so he could be with him for centuries?

If Belinda could infuse herself into Marjory's katana, why can't Nakis stay bound to the tree and use its life essence to be able to communicate and move around, too?

Would that even be possible if, given the worst-case scenario, Nakis's spirit is still trapped in the Domain of the Lost?

____

And this is the end of my rambling essay. I'm very emotional about these two poor guys as they have been my perhaps favorite queer GW2 couple ever since I learned about them a year or two ago.

Their love was so unexpected, so rare. Yet they decided to live so far away from their homes just to be together.

Only to be torn apart by violent death.

And only to have almost zero backstory, no definite answer as to what happened to the bereaved, and no answer to whether the spirit of the dead one is already in peace in the Underworld, or not.

I hope these two will get a closure sometime.