#i have no idea what to do with myself now.

[teaboot]

Growing up, how was your relationship with the fundamentals of conscious existence?

My earliest memory of what I would call self-awareness occurred spontaneously in the middle of my fourth birthday party, where I suddenly became alert to my existence as a separate entity surrounded by other conscious beings.

This presented to me as not dissimilar to simply being brushed along the flow of a river- experiencing life as a serious of flashbang moments and instants and sensations, like meditating to music until the individual notes break into sounds that follow no rhythm and are only noise- no past or future, only now- and then suddenly finding yourself holding a paddle in the belly of a boat with no idea what to do next.

I remember running to the body that felt safest, who I did not recognize as anything else, and asking it who all the strangers around us were. The person that I learned was my mother told me they were my aunties and uncles, and I was being silly because I KNEW them, and why was I so shy all of a sudden?

Learning to articulate myself after that instant, I remember, was immensely frustrating. Learning your first language, as I remember it, is wuite a bit like how Ive been told recovering from brain damage feels like.

YOU know what you mean. YOU know what you're saying. But there are holes where you reach for something you know MUST be there and find nothing, and must find a way to communicate using only what you have at hand. Except there are always faces looking at you, talking down to you, asking you to do tricks for them to prove you really are a real human person.

I loved art, and I'm very good at it, but GETTING good at it was the worst. I'm told I started with scribbles at six months or so, before I could walk, and at three and four I remember being immensely frustrated that I could see in my head exactly what I wanted to produce, and I didn't know how to PRODUCE it.

And simple shit, like drawing shapes and circles, developing fine motor skills. You FULLY UNDERSTAND THE ASSIGNMENT, but your hands are soft and wobbly and don't cooperate. Getting your mouth and body to obey your directions is hellish, especially when all the appliances and furniture and installations around you are built for someone easily triple your size.

Chairs are hard to sit in when you're small and cant touch the ground. Your legs dangle and you cant scoot closer to the table, and the backrest is so far back you cant use it for support, and the table comes up past your chest so your chin is amost in your plate and your dumb clumsy hands cant hold a big spoon or fork in a way that feels natural or elegant so you end up smearing shit EVERYWHERE and getting yapped at for having your elbows on the counter.

Reading people was interesting. Most people are condescending and plastic when you're small, and you can tell when they're being saccharine and fake, but you're told the polite thing is to believe what they say and be polite back. I used to try using big sentences on purpose just to het them to leave me alone. "What a pretty girl! Can you say Hello?" was the most common ask I can recall. Id answer with the floweriest thing I could think of, usually, "I'm very well, thank you for asking, how are you?", because people only ask you interesting questions after you do well enough on their tests to prove you're people.

Being small was very tiring, and very frustrating, and becoming aware of myself in my own head probably made everything a lot worse overall.

No regrets, though. From what I can recall, life is far more enjoyable when you're aware of it occurring. Time can't slow down until you know it's there, I think

Being a baby full of instincts felt like living as a live grenade. Being a child was far harder, but more Full. More Human. A LOT more like adulthood than infancy, and I was very determined to remember that.

If any of that makes sense

[xoxxbilliexoxx]

Pathetic

Brat Tamer Billie degrades and dominates you to put you back in your place after you decide to push the boundaries

established relationship, strap (r receiving), degradation, bratty reader, Daddy kink, Spit play, Light slapping, multiple orgasms, Billie cums from using the strap, loving aftercare

roughly 5000 words

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Y/N POV

We’ve been laying on the couch for about an hour now, when I finally get the strength to get up and throw away our take out containers before heading towards the bedroom and calling out to Billie that I’m changing into something more comfy. Once I shut the door behind me I feel a nervousness creep up from my stomach. I strip naked and pull out the night gown from my bag, throwing it on and walking to the bathroom. My boobs spill out of the red lace and the bottom ends before my ass does. Without any underwear on, my pussy can easily be seen with any slight movement I make.

As I look in the mirror I feel my confidence build. Feeling sexy always leaves me feeling powerful too, like it awakens a completely different version of myself. I mess up my hair slightly and put on my favorite lipstick, matching with the deep red, almost wine color of my slutty dress. I take one last look at myself, unable to stop from smiling at how hot I feel, before I head towards the door of the bedroom. Billie has yet to meet this version of me, and she’s in for quite a treat.

I walk out and return to the living room as if nothing has changed, completely ignoring Billie’s intense reaction. Her mouth stays hanging open as her eyes follow my every move. She sits up taller and her hand moves to adjust the crotch of her sweatpants, as if her dick just got hard or something. I walk in front of the couch, slow enough to let Billie get a good look at me and head into the kitchen to grab a glass of water before returning to the living room. I set the glass down but before I return to my spot on the couch I walk over to grab a blanket from the basket. My back is towards Billie allowing her to get a full view of my bare pussy as I bend down. A loud groan fills the room coming from the couch behind me and I let out a small giggle before composing myself and walking back to the couch.

Billie’s body stays frozen as her eyes follow me closely. her bottom lip is caught so tight between her teeth it looks as if she’s about to break skin. She shuffles uncomfortably on the couch, as if it’s taking everything in her not to pounce on me already. I sit down next to her, continuing to watch the movie as if nothing has changed. When I feel Billie’s eyes stuck to me like glue I turn and raise my eyebrows at her. “What are you looking at?” I snap at her, a confident sass coming through in my words. “what do you mean, what am I looking at? I’m looking at how fucking hot you look in that slutty little night gown you just put on for me” She bites her lip again and moves towards me, waiting for me to take action or submit to her like usual.

I don’t do either of those things though. Instead, I let my brattiness build. “Put on for you?” I add a questioning tone to you, dragging it out to add emphasis, “I have no idea what you’re talking about Billie” She looks at me with a pained expression, like it’s hurting her that she isn’t touching me yet. Enjoying her needy discomfort, I cross one leg over the other, pulling the gown up and letting my pussy peek out again, only making the situation grow more tense.

Billie looks me up and down with an intensely hungry desire in her eyes. It makes my own arousal surge through me. “Fuck baby you’re too goddamn hot. Come give me a kiss I need you” I look at her with a tight smirk and let my response come out quick and sharp, “no.” My devilish expression hits her once again before I look back at the movie, my confidence and pride showing clearly in my eyes.

I see Billie’s tongue darting against the inside of her cheek as her eyes drink me in. She doesn’t speak for a moment, looking as if she’s deciding what to do next. I keep my slightly evil smirk displayed across my face and bring my hand up to stroke my thigh, scratching my skin lightly. I feel Billie’s eyes glued to me, it feels as if they’re burning a hole through me. Knowing I’m egging her on and teasing her with this new side of myself makes the power and enjoyment only build within me.

Billie shifts towards me, kissing my cheek first then grabbing my chin, pulling me in to meet her lips. I know her intention was a long, hot kiss, but instead I just peck her lips and go back to the movie. I try to settle my own discomfort and growing desire, wanting so badly to kiss her passionately, but I know holding out will only make things better in the long run. I want to be a brat first, I wanna push her buttons and see where that gets me. “mmmm, I see what you’re doing mama” Her tongue finds the inside of her cheek again as she looks at me through hooded eyes.

I look back at her to show my smug expression before turning away. Her hands find my chin, wrapping around it hard and pushing my lips together slightly, she moves my head until my eyes meet hers “This sexy outfit makin you feel confident huh? makin you think you can be all bratty and see what I’m gunna do about it?” I bite my lip and look up at her, a devilish sparkle in my eyes, “Seems like it’s working” I laugh back at her before continuing to tease, “seems like you’re getting real worked up over this Eilish” I let my words come out with a strong confidence and a flirtatious tone, my smirk never leaving my face.

She looks slightly stunned at my continued attitude and pauses for a moment to think. Her tongue slides against her teeth as she shakes her head just slightly. “get up and go get on the bed, I’ll show you what I’m gunna do about it” her words are direct and her dominance starts to come out more intensely, causing a shiver to trickle down my spine and hit my core. I swallow quietly before composing myself, not letting her win just yet. She’s standing above me now, looking down at my small frame on the couch in front of her. I look up at her and bite my lip with a smile, moving my hair behind my ear and tilting my head slightly to the side. “and what if I don’t? what then?” the words come out thick with attitude, I’m loving this and it’s very obvious.

That was her last straw. She reaches down and wraps her hand around my throat, pulling me in for a heated kiss, immediately establishing her dominance before pulling away, pleased with herself.bBending down, she wraps her hands around my ass and lifts me, carrying me into the bedroom as I yell from the sudden actions.

I’m thrown onto the bed hard. Opening my eyes after my landing I watch Billie grab her shirt and pull it off forcefully. Opening her mouth she lets out a short laugh before speaking, “put this slutty little outfit on to tease me then u wanna act like a brat? think ur not gunna get punished for it, huh? think I'm just gunna let you get away with that? Is that what you thought?” I nod with a slight giggle, although it feels impossible to distinguish if it’s a bratty giggle or a slightly fearful one. My bratty behavior and direct attitude has pulled a stronger dominance from her, like she’s about to make me sorry for acting like this, and fuck, I feel so hungry for it, so so needy for it.

I need to see how far she’ll go, how far she’ll let me push her before she really lets me have it. “Well what are you gunna do about it? Pace around and bitch to me?” I laugh after I speak, a mischievous expression directed right at Billie as she turns to face me after shutting the door. “You think you’re cute huh?” “very cute, yea” I snap back at her quicker than she expects.

Billie crawls over me on the bed, her hand finds my hair and the handful she quickly grabs is so tight it pulls my head back with it. A deep groan rips from my throat. She lets out a mocking laugh down at me before connecting her lips with mine. Shoving her tongue in my mouth, she makes it extremely clear who’s in control here. She’s not messing around anymore, I finally pushed her to her breaking point and I know I’m in for it.

As she pulls away she looks down at me, her eyes are dark and her evil, power hungry smile forces me to swallow. “Open your mouth, brat” She whispers her command down at me, her voice is low and raspy, far more dark and seductive than usual. I do as I’m told, opening my mouth and sticking my tongue out slightly as I look up at her. She leans down, our lips almost touching, and as she opens her own mouth she lets all her spit drip down onto my tongue before taking her hand and grabbing my chin, pushing it up for my mouth to shut. “Swallow daddys spit” I swallow hard. Her words, calling herself daddy, her spit sliding down my throat, it's all causing my pussy to gush. “ yea, that's right, there ya go” I snap back into my role, trying to come up with a bratty response to throw back at Billie.

All I can come up with is a quick snicker and a dramatic eye roll, the smirk only half formed from her hand tightly squeezing my lower jaw. But my actions seem to get to her just the same. Her tongue rolls against her check as she squeezes my jaw harder. “let’s see how long that cute bratty attitude will last when im fucking the shit outta you. need to fuck that slutty brattiness right out of you huh?” Her hand, still holding my jaw and chin hard, moves my head to the side as she lowers her head down, latching her lips onto my neck and biting as soon as she makes contact, pulling a long whimper from my lips.

I can feel myself losing control, the need to be touched growing too strong to hide. I let my hips move up, searching for something to grind against, anything to relieve the intense throbbing between my legs. Her hand leaves my jaw and lands harshly against my hips, stopping me from moving immediately. The painful grip and the lack of contact on my clit makes me whine again, the brattiness slowly slipping away. “Already so whiny for me? What happened to that little attitude of yours? Gone so soon baby?”

I try to move under her, try to get her hand to meet my dripping core, but she holds me down harder, laughing at my failed attempts. “I thought you were gunna fuck the brat outta me, come on baby, lemme have it, lemme see you try to punish me” Her hand immediately slaps my face, hard enough to stun me but gently enough to show she doesn’t want to hurt me, she doesn’t want to push me too far, still unsure of what I’m into.

But the slap only makes me moan louder, loving the harsh contact and angry dominance she’s beginning to show me. “Be patient. you don’t get to tell me what to do. Brats don’t get what they want right away” My heavy breathing fills the room, acting as a clear display of just how turned on she's gotten me, just how much I’m loving this. Her lips find my neck again, covering me with bites and bruises as I continue to whine and moan. She’s careful not to lean down on me, she won’t let herself connect with my core, won’t give me what I want yet.

Instead she begins to tease me. Her hands find their way to my inner thighs, grazing my skin softly. Each time she moves up, almost touching where I need her most, she pulls away again, laughing at every one of my whimpers. “Who’s got you so worked up, hmm? Who’re you bein such a slut for?” Her words tickle the sensitive skin on my neck before she bites down again. “You daddy, it's all for you” She groans when she hears her nickname. “Atta girl” Her head snakes down my body, finally heading to my throbbing center.

As she pulls my gown up higher, fully exposing me, she spreads my legs and growls, swallowing as soon as she sees how wet she has made me. “There’s my pretty fuckin pussy. lookin like it’s just begging to get fucked.” My back arches, my body finding any way to express how bad I need her right now, how painfully needy I am to be touched, to be fucked by her.

Her fingers fill me up suddenly, the unexpected pleasure makes me yell and grab the sheets. As I open my eyes I see her face right above mine again, watching with squinted eyes as she picks up her pace, my face contorting, mouth hanging open. All the build up left me so sensitive and Billies curved fingers are hitting every sweet spot I have. I’m a moaning mess under her, completely at her disposal, completely submitted to her. “Daddy, fuck, I’m gunna cum already, please let me cum” The nickname and begging works its magic on her and she throws her head back slightly, groans as she fucks into me even harder.

My orgasm rips through me suddenly and as I begin to shake and thrash under her she only speeds up her pace, curling her fingers even more. As my orgasm begins to slow, my moans growing quieter and my back returning down to the sheets, her other hand finds my clit, immediately drawing deep fast circles on the sensitive bud. I arch my back and cry out again, louder than before. She’s relentless, not giving me even a moment to breathe before my next high hits me. I’m a mess under her, completely caught up in pleasure. Her fingers begin to move inside of me, flicking back and forth right against my g-spot and without warning I feel the knot release. The sounds of my squirting fills the room and Billie's low, dirty laugh mixes in. She smiles down at me, gleaming with pride knowing she’s already fucked me through two orgasms.

“Can you take more or did I already ruin you too much?” She pulls out her fingers and immediately brings them to her mouth. I work hard to catch my breath and stop my legs from shaking. Billie hovers over me before leaning down and taking my boob, which has now spilled completely out of my gown, into her mouth. Her tongue circles my nipple before nipping at it and pulling away. “I want you to keep going. make me sorry. punish me for acting like a brat and being a slut” She smiles at my response, proud that I said exactly what I knew she wanted to hear.

“That's what you want baby? Want me to make you regret the attitude you gave me? Make you wish you didn’t decide to be such a slut tonight?” She nods mockingly in my face as she talks, her eyes squint and her teeth bite down hard on her lower lip. “Yes daddy, it's what I need, I need to be punished” I can see the way my words hit her body, swallowing hard and raising her eyebrow, showing how excited she is that I’m keeping this act up. “I’m about to fuck the shit outta you. fuck that slutty little brat outta you until you’re my good girl again” All I can do is groan.

She gets up and walks over to our bags in the corner of the room, taking off her pants and underwear. “What's the safe word mama?” Billie asks, turning briefly from her bag to look at me before returning to what's in front of her. “red” the response gets stuck in my throat after all my previous cries. I clear my throat and speak again, “It’s red.” My nervous excitement for what's to come can be heard in my voice. “Good girl” she stands and slides on the harness before walking over to me. “And if I ask for your color and you are starting to feel uncomfortable, what’ll you say then baby?” I look at her with a slight confusion before I process what she's asking “Orange, I’ll say orange. and if I feel good I’ll say green” She kisses me on the head when she finally gets over to me. “You're such a good girl when you want to be, huh mama?” I blush at the praise, enjoying the brief moment of softness we’re sharing.

When I feel Billie spreading my legs I look down and notice just how big of a dildo she has attached to her. Not only is it long, but it’s thicker than anything I’ve had inside of me. Before I can think about it too much, it’s inching into me. I feel the resistance immediately, but Billie continues to thrust. I whine at the slight pain, trying to push her stomach, make her stop for a moment before stretching me out fully. “nuh uh, you can fucking take it. Sluts like you can take this cock. Don’t run away now” I whimper again, nodding my head and fisting the sheets.

Billie pulls out slowly, but before I can feel the emptiness she slams her entire plastic dick inside of me, stretching and filling me so intensely. I scream out, unsure if it's from pain or pleasure as she repeats this action again, pulling out of me slowly before slamming herself into me hard. The pain of her big cock has disappeared, what's left is a form of pleasure I've yet to experience before this. She has already left my pussy so wet and sensitive from her fingers, and now her thick long faux cock is filling me so perfectly I’m seeing stars. I’m addicted, never having been fucked and dominated so aggressively in my life. Her thrusts are slow and intentional now, letting me feel every vein and ridge in her dick as she pulls out and pushes back in.

The noises spilling out of me are completely unfiltered. I’m drunk, only alive to be fucked by her in this very moment. “You’re such a whore for this dick, god its so fucking pathetic baby” All I can do is nod, I can’t even focus enough to get a word out anymore. With her weight propped up on one elbow and her hips still thrusting into me hard, Billie lifts her other hand to my jaw, grabbing harshly with a grip that almost hurts. “Eyes open, come on, look at me love” It takes me a moment to register her commands but finally I get my eyes opened, moaning at the power drunk face she’s making above me. “Open your mouth and stick out your fucking tongue” Her words come out in the same pattern as her thrusts, and her breath sounds heavier now as she continues to ruin me.

I obey immediately and as soon as my mouth opens Billie drops her spit on my tongue, then again in the back of my throat. Before I can close my mouth she shoves two of her fingers in, pushing down on my tongue hard. I close my mouth around them sucking and swirling my tongue over her digits for a moment before she pulls them out. With my mouth still open Billie takes her fingers and spreads the mixture of her saliva and mine all over my chin, cheeks and mouth, a maniacal laugh coming out of her as she does it. The thick mixture coats my face completely and when she slaps her hand on top of it, it stings slightly. Her actions are painfully degrading and only fueling the intensely erotic hunger in me more, so intoxicated by her energy.

“My pathetic baby, thought she could be a brat and get away with it, thought I wasn’t gunna show who’s in charge here, what I do with bratty pathetic sluts. You like it, don’t you baby, like when I humiliate you, when I get you drunk off my cock, do anything I want to you. Is that right?” She lets her words hit me in the face as she picks up her speed, thrusting into me much faster and harder now. “color?” her voice is firm and serious as she checks in on me. It makes me feel so safe and allows me to enjoy all this so much more. “green Billie, don’t stop” she smiles at my quick answer before continuing to destroy me.

“God, you’re making this pussy feel so fucking good. Fuckkkk” I take a deep breath and let out a loud moan before continuing, “Thats your fucking pussy, this pussy is all yours Daddy” Billie lifts herself off her elbows onto her hands, pinned on both sides of me, and the new angle allows her to thrust freer now. She throws her head back when she hears what I said, groaning loudly, making it clear I am making her so horny, that she’s loving the way I’m letting her ruin me. “MMMM thats right, this is my perfect little pussy, my pussy to fuck, to destroy, to lick the cum off of” Her fingers move down to connect with my oversensitive clit and within minutes I’m yelling out that I’m cumming again, coating her dick in my creamy white arousal.

Before I can think straight I’m being flipped onto my stomach. Billie lifts me up for just a moment to put a pillow under my lower stomach before laying me back down till my whole body is pressed into the bed. She straddles my thighs with her legs on both sides of mine and her hands grab at my ass cheeks, spreading them to get a view of my completely ruined pussy. I feel her warm spit land on my cunt and before long the tip of her strap is rubbing up at my entrance again. I am both completely fucked out, and yet entirely hungry for more.

“Are you gunna be a good girl, gunna take daddy’s dick like a good girl for me?” I nod my head, unable to think straight from all the orgasms I’ve had in the last hour. Billie slaps my ass hard causing me to let out a yelp that echoes around the room. “Words, brat, I need words” “Yes, yes I’m gonna be your good girl” I whimper out “That's it, that's what I thought” her words come out in a moan that mixes with mine as she slowly slides into me. The new position, my stomach flat against a pillow and my legs tightly closed, makes for an intoxicating new feeling. “Oh fuck Billie that feels sooooo good, oh my god baby yes” “mmmm mmhhmm mama I know, I know it does, such a good girl telling me how good you feel, thats my good girl”

“AUGHhhshhh fuckkkk daddy, dont stop it feels so fucking good” This pleasure is addicting, I’m melting all over her thick cock, completely, entirely drunk of this feeling, mouth hanging open, sweet grunts coming out with every single thrust. Billie's hand gripping my hair and pushing my face deeper into the bed only makes me more turned on, the way she’s still showing me her nasty dominance only fuels my desire to keep taking her, keep being a good girl for her. “Color?” I don’t hear her, too focused on how good she’s making me feel. Her hand grips my hair tighter, the pain snapping me back into reality. “Color y/n?! when I speak you answer, got it?” “Yes daddy, yes, I'm sorry. Green, it’s green, keep fucking going, I can take it”

Her own whimpers and grunts begin to fill the room, matching with mine. I’ve learned them well over the last week, I know her high is building fast. Her thrusts speed up and grow more and more sloppy as her moans get louder. I’m so in love, so happy to be letting her use me in this moment, fucking me hard and pulling us both to another high. “Thats my pussy huh baby? My *thrust* fucking *thrust* Pussy *thrust*” I yell out a loud groan and nod my head under her hand, hoping that she’ll accept that as a good enough answer. “Mmmm yea it is, good girl. This is your fucking cock, your cock you’re taking sooooo well for me”

“Mmmm FUCK yes thats my cock, you’re fucking me so good daddy, uhhhhh” Every sound leaving my mouth is high pitched and working as a perfect display of how hypnotized I am on her dick. “God baby, cum for me again, coat this dick with your cum, lemme see you make a mess on me one more time mama” I whine as she pushes into me deeper and moans.

“I’m gunna cum mama, fuck cum with me. Cum! all! Over! this! Dick” each of her words hits me with a thrust of her hips and we both explode. We cry out eachother names over and over with an occasional “fuck” or incoherent moan. They echo and bounce back at us as we shake against each other, both coming completely undone as we experience earth shattering orgasms at the same time.

She collapses on top of me with a deep sigh and our breathing matches up as we try to slow our heartbeats down. Our skin sticks together, covered in sweat, cum and spit from the last hour of nasty pleasure. My pussy throbs on the plastic dick still filling me up and every so often a whimper leaves my lips.

I feel Billie lift her head up and kiss my sweaty forehead. “Did so good for me baby, so so good for me” She pulls out slowly, causing me to whimper slightly from how overstimulated I am. “you okay mama?” She kisses my head again as she lands on the bed next to me, pulling me on top of her and rubbing my back. “i’m good, really good” I giggle slightly, making it clear how much I enjoyed all of it. “I love you Billie” the post sex high is coursing through my veins and I feel so wildly in love with the girl laying next to me. “I love you too mama” I pull her in for a kiss before laying my head on her chest. “I don’t think I can move, you fucked me too good” I laugh at my own honest confession and look up at her. “Why don’t I run a bath for us and we can get cleaned up before we go to sleep? Does that sound okay?” My face blushes as she looks at me.

“God, that sounds amazing. if I woulda known you could fuck me so hard then treat me so sweet, i woulda made a move on you a lot faster eilish” “mmmm and if I woulda know you could be such a nasty little slut I woulda locked you in a lot faster too, sunny” she looks down and winks at me before sliding out from under me and moving towards the bathroom. I spread out on the bed and close my eyes, taking in the high I feel and trying to convince myself that all this is real.

[jamingbenn]

year in review - hockey rpf on ao3

hello!! the annual ao3 year in review had some friends and i thinking - wouldn't it be cool if we had a hockey rpf specific version of that. so i went ahead and collated the data below!!

i start with a broad overview, then dive deeper into the 3 most popular ships this year (with one bonus!)

if any images appear blurry, click on them to expand and they should become clear!

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before we jump in, some key things to highlight: - CREDIT TO: the webscraping part of my code heavily utilized the ao3 wrapped google colab code, as lovingly created by @kyucultures on twitter, as the main skeleton. i tweaked a couple of things but having it as a reference saved me a LOT of time and effort as a first time web scraper!!! thank you stranger <3 - please do NOT, under ANY circumstances, share any part of this collation on any other website. please do not screenshot or repost to twitter, tiktok, or any other public social platform. thank u!!! T_T - but do feel free to send requests to my inbox! if you want more info on a specific ship, tag, or you have a cool idea or wanna see a correlation between two variables, reach out and i should be able to take a look. if you want to take a deeper dive into a specific trope not mentioned here/chapter count/word counts/fic tags/ship tags/ratings/etc, shoot me an ask!

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with that all said and done... let's dive into hockey_rpf_2024_wrapped_insanity.ipynb

BIG PICTURE OVERVIEW

i scraped a total of 4266 fanfics that dated themselves as published or finished in the year 2024. of these 4000 odd fanfics, the most popular ships were:

Note: "Minor or Background Relationship(s)" clocked in at #9 with 91 fics, but I removed it as it was always a secondary tag and added no information to the chart. I did not discern between primary ship and secondary ship(s) either!

breaking down the 5 most popular ships over the course of the year, we see:

super interesting to see that HUGE jump for mattdrai in june/july for the stanley cup final. the general lull in the offseason is cool to see as well.

as for the most popular tags in all 2024 hockey rpf fic...

weee like our fluff. and our established relationships. and a little H/C never hurt no one.

i got curious here about which AUs were the most popular, so i filtered down for that. note that i only regex'd for tags that specifically start with "Alternate Universe - ", so A/B/O and some other stuff won't appear here!

idk it was cool to me.

also, here's a quick breakdown of the ratings % for works this year:

and as for the word counts, i pulled up a box plot of the top 20 most popular ships to see how the fic length distribution differed amongst ships:

mattdrai-ers you have some DEDICATION omg. respect

now for the ship by ship break down!!

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#1 MATTDRAI

most popular ship this year. peaked in june/july with the scf. so what do u people like to write about?

fun fun fun. i love that the scf is tagged there like yes actually she is also a main character

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#2 SIDGENO

(my babies) top tags for this ship are:

folks, we are a/b/o fiends and we cannot lie. thank you to all the selfless authors for feeding us good a/b/o fic this year. i hope to join your ranks soon.

(also: MPREG. omega sidney crosby. alpha geno. listen, the people have spoken, and like, i am listening.)

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#3 NICOJACK

top tags!!

it seems nice and cozy over there... room for one more?

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BONUS: JDTZ.

i wasnt gonna plot this but @marcandreyuri asked me if i could take a look and the results are so compelling i must include it. are yall ok. do u need a hug

top tags being h/c, angst, angst, TRADES, pining, open endings... T_T katie said its a "torture vortex" and i must concurr

₊ . ݁ ݁ . ⊹ ࣪ ˖͙͘͡★ ⊹ .

BONUS BONUS: ALPHA/BETA/OMEGA

as an a/b/o enthusiast myself i got curious as to what the most popular ships were within that tag. if you want me to take a look about this for any other tag lmk, but for a/b/o, as expected, SID GENO ON TOP BABY!:

thats all for now!!! if you have anything else you are interested in seeing the data for, send me an ask and i'll see if i can get it to ya!

[wlfchnlv3r]

Mate

Non idol! Hyunjin x Nine tailed fox ! Fem reader

Synopsis: the “fox hunt” is open in your country, and you, the last nine tailed fox, despite all, you’ll find your mate.

Word count: 1.2 k

Warning: light smut, fingering, virgin! Reader.

Note: meow hope you like it!

There is a "Fox Hunt" in your country, and hunters have appeared from every corner.

Everyone wants to hunt you, the last nine-tailed fox.

Legends say you’re a gorgeous girl with long red hair and deep amber eyes, the last of your species that during mating season, show up in the woods.

• • •

You are injured, running in the woods during a storm, some men shotted at your legs during the hunt, and you are searching for a sheltered place.

You spotted a wooden house with lights on, you slowly approach the door, knocking, before a young men, with a buzz cut turns out.

Hyunjin knew who you were the moment he laid his eyes on you, your hurt expression made his heart clench.

You were trembling because of the wound and the rain, “can- can I come in…? Please”.

Hyunjin instantly helped you to stand up, holding his arm around your waist.

After that moment everything becomes blurry and you passed out.

That was the first impression you had of your “savior”, it’s been four months and you now live with Hyunjin in his house, at least is a safe place, but that’s not… all, you planned to stay there until the wound had healed but something came up, a feeling between you and Hyunjin.

• • •

You are now looking at your dressed figure at the bathroom.

Hyunjin walks over to the bathroom door and stands opposite it, he can hear how you walk or make some movements, “You done, little fox?” he asks.

You still looks at your figure, “yes…”.

He opens the door, seeing you standing in the nightgown he gives you. His gaze slides over your body up and down, his smirk does not disappear, “Ah… I was right.. You look beautiful in this nightgown…”.

Hyunjin gently caresses your waist and hums, he looks at you quietly, admiring your face, “Such a pretty fox…”.

You are lost in your thoughts, “you know… I never looked at myself in the mirror before I came here” you admit.

He raises his eyebrow, genuinely surprised, and he can’t help but chuckle, “What do you mean? You never looked in the mirror? How...?”.

“My mother was against the concept... of beauty itself and she always told me that I had to love myself for what I cherished in my heart” you simply say with a smile.

Hyunjin listens to you quietly, “So you didn’t even know that you are beautiful? Damn…. I’m surprised, you should’ve known a long ago how gorgeous you look..” he says.

He continues to stare at you with a smirk, he gently runs his fingers through your hair, caressing them softly, “But now you know how beautiful you are, right?”.

You are taken aback by the question, “I don’t know…really” you admit with sincerity.

Hyunjin sighs and gently grabs you by the chin, making you look at him, You really don’t know.. Damn.. I need to show you how beautiful you are, don’t I..?”.

He suddenly grabs your waist and lifts you up in his arms, holding you against his chest, “I’m gonna show you how beautiful you look.. I want you to look at yourself in the mirror and see yourself the way I see you..”.

You gasp a little and hold onto him.

Hyunjin gently cradles you against his chest as he walks back into the bedroom and sit in front of the big mirror with you between his legs. He’s standing behind you, his chest pressed against your back, he looks at you through the mirror with a smirk, “Look at this… Do you see how gorgeous you are, little fox?”.

You look at yourself in the big mirror and smile, maybe he is right.

Hyunjin’s fingers are caressing your hips, but the touch becomes more gentle, as if to explore every inch of your body. His eyes continue to look at you through the mirror, watching how you react to his touches when an idea pops in his mind, “You look stunning in that nightgown.. So damn good..” he says as he starts to spread your legs and touch your inner tights.

His touch make your body shiver and you have to control the urge to moan.

«Mmm.. Can’t help myself… So damn beautiful..» he says pulling your panties aside and gently caressing your folds.

Hyunjin smirks at your reaction and looks at you through the mirror, feeling how your body tenses up, “I love those noises coming from your mouth, little fox”.

You can’t help but moan and let your head rest on his shoulder.

His smirk grows even more and a chuckle escapes his lips as he hears you moan, he notices how your reaction to his touch is getting stronger, and he continues to slowly tease your clit, “I haven’t even done much, but you’re already making those pretty noises for me” he continues to rub her clit with circular movement increasing the pressure.

You whines loudly as he suddenly push one fingers inside you, you still look at him through the mirror, your lips parted and soft moans that escapes your mouth.

You are about to close your eyes when Hyunjin clicks his tongue, “Ah ah ah.. I want you to keep your eyes open, little one”.

Your gaze never leave his through the mirror, and you make a little movement against his hand, wanting more, needing more.

He notices how you move against his finger, and he smirks, realizing how desperate you are, his fingers slowly moving inside you, “Mmm… Look at you… all desperate for me, does it feel good? You like that?” He can easily see how your expression change with every movement.

You are already a mess, you never experienced that but you want more, “hyunjin…more- more please” you whines.

Hyunjin’s free hand grabs your neck, gently making you look up at him in the mirror, his fingers gently caressing your skin, “pretty foxes like you always get what they want” as he says that he slides his finger out of you, just temporarily before pushing two fingers in your wet entrance.

You choke a moan, his fingers pushing against you g spot, making difficult for you to control yourself.

Hyunjin’s gaze meets yours in the mirror, he keeps your chin gently in his grip, his eyes looking deep in yours, “Are you enjoying this, little fox?.. I’m sure you are, you look so pretty like this, all desperate and needy for me” he says moving his fingers faster inside you.

You are a whiny mess, your orgasm is near and your legs are shaky.

He notices how your legs are shaking and how close you are, and he grins, watching you in the mirror, “Are you close? Are you going to come for me?”.

As soon as he says those words you comes followed by a loud moan, it is your first orgasm, and it happened with the right man, the one you want as your mate.

Hyunjin gently pulls his fingers out of you, he continues to look at you in the mirror while he brings the fingers that were inside you to his lips, and he slowly licks them, cleaning them up.

With a quick movement you turn around and hug him, you think you have finally found your mate.

Taglist: @felixleftchickennugget @kiwininja35 @sweetpickledjins @slmnheart @elqivxstxr @catffeinexo-xx @multistancheck @justwonder113 @mylittleponeypinkrosieposie @hello-stranger24 @raptorbait529 @cocofia143 @minniesverse @eastjonowhere @justwonder113 @yerijaksel

(Comment to be added to the master list 🎐)

[tension4mari]

hiii so ive had this idea for a while now but i just dont have the skills to write it myself, its not really a reader x character but more of a maybe actor!reader x the actor of the character if u get me??😭😭

so the idea is actor!reader plays a character that is also played as the love interest/partner of hwang inho (lee byung hun's character) and during their scenes together (in can be like a cute/lovey dovey interaction between their characters or u can also make it a sex scene or both if ur up for it🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️) reader just keeps messing up her lines or having trouble staying in character because she keeps getting flustered/shy by lee byung hun causing them to redo the scene over and over again so him and the whole cast just keeps laughing and teasing her about it😣😣🙏🙏🙏

I got you! NOW. I'm not the best at writing smut ^-^ so bare with me here!

✮⋆˙Paring - Actor!Reader x Actor!Lee Byung-Hun

Summary - Just read 😭-

๋࣭ ⭑⚝Working with Lee Byung-Hun was always hard for you. Seeing his handsome sharp features always had you in a chokehold. You didn't know exactly what it was about him that drawled you in with him. Was it his hair? personality? His amazing acting skills? You just couldn't put your finger on it.

๋࣭ ⭑⚝You were now in the indoor filming set with your crew getting ready to film you and Lee's part of the movie. Your roll was acting as his wife. Finally getting in check you get up and walk over to the set getting ready to film both of you guys part.

๋࣭ ⭑⚝"Ready 'y/n'?" called out one of your supervises "Yeah! All good to go" you said "You got it!" Lee walks onto set and you swear you could feel the wind get knocked out of you. Looking straight in your direction "You're all set 'y/n'?" he says coming closer. "Mhm!' you quickly say, stepping back just a little to create a distance you don't need between the two of you.

๋࣭ ⭑⚝"That's great, let's start" Lee say's "

The sence was simple. All it required was for you to get pulled over from your waist by Lee and get told a few words. See? not so hard, you told yourself.

๋࣭ ⭑⚝"Aright, take one... Go!" the director called out.

Soon enough Lee came towards you, gradually grabbing you from the waist, speaking from his angelic voice, "I've heard what happened while I was at work. Are you alright Mylove?" He says and you can feel your face start to burn up "Yes I'm fine, I wasn't caught in the crossfire fortunately" you Stummer out "Thats wonderful to hear Love, I was worried sick about you" he spills Getting closer to you. This was the part you were supposed to kiss at, and God, were you not ready once he pulls in, face slowly but surely inches from yours Comes in and kisses you.

๋࣭ ⭑⚝You pull back and throw your head to the side, Lee frowns and askes you what's wrong. And all you could do is shake your head and backup "Um uh- nothing, Its nothing!" all of the crew members are staring and starts to crack up. "Y/n, what the hell was that!." you coworker says jokily while dying from laugher, "Hey that's not even funny! You guys are a joke" you defend yourself while covering you face with your hand, Lee hand comes up to yours and pull your hands down so he can see our face "Oh God, and look even her face is burning with red!" Another coworker says laughing "Ughhh! you guys are the worse!" you say while turning away.

๋࣭ ⭑⚝You both ended up having to redo the sence more than 3 times each time you were messing up

๋࣭ ⭑⚝'Im calling in a break" you hear your director say Lee then turns to you "Y/n, I need to speak to you" "oh.. Yeah, um what's up?" "privately" he says. He leads you towards his trailer and open the door so that you can walk in first.

๋࣭ ⭑⚝You both are inside his trailer and he speaks "So. What was al of that about earlier?" "uh..Huh? i have no idea what you're talking about" you mumble looking away. He grabs your chin softly and make you look at him "Don't pay foolish with me. You know exactly what I'm talking about." he says, staring at you daring for you to lie again.

๋࣭ ⭑⚝"I- ok. I admit it. I've got a crush on you Mr. Byung-Hun." "..." it gets quiet for a moment, he's still staring at you. But then he leans forward and kisses you. "Mm, how long? he says while breaking from the kiss looking at you. "Uhm, two years." "Really? two years? why'd you didn't say anything earlier' 'Y/n'"i feel the same way." "Well i can only assume since... you just kissed me." You speak "You got a mouth on you, you know That?" He says grabbing your waist. "Yeah... I do, are you going to do something about that?' "I might just have to." he say

๋࣭ ⭑⚝ "Oh yea?" "Yeah" He says kissing and sucking on your neck gradually. You let out a small moan that has him ushering to get more out of you. He pulls his knee up in between your tights , onto your cunt. "Oh, fuck-, that feels good" you say out of breathe from all of the moaning you've been doing. He pulls his knee down which causes you to frown at the loss of friction. "C'mere" he says pulling you towards the couch.

๋࣭ ⭑⚝"He sits down, pulling his cock from his pants. "Take off those." He says hurriedly wanting to feel you on his cock immediately. You take off your jeans along with your panties in a quick swift.

๋࣭ ⭑⚝You climb ontop of Lee's lap slowly sinking down on his shaft "Fuck- You feel amazing" you only hum in agreement. He then starts moving his hips, throwing his head into the crook of your shoulder.

๋࣭ ⭑⚝"Mmp-i need to feel more of you" he says as he stuffs inch after thick inch into your cunt. "Shit, I don't think I can take anymore-". He lifts up his hips fucking you deep and hard, thrust after thrust.

๋࣭ ⭑⚝"You're doing so good for me. J'-Just take it-,hmhp. I know you can" He mutters against the skin of your neck.

๋࣭ ⭑⚝The way he fucks his way into your tight pussy you thought you saw stars. "M'm close" you spoke , pussy hugging his cock. Ah! shit!" you screamed while arching your back further.

๋࣭ ⭑⚝Lee quickens his thrusts, adjusting to the rhythm. You moan once more, cumming on his cock. He continues to fuck into your hips none stop, He grunts loudly as he cums hardly into you.

๋࣭ ⭑⚝ "I want to take you to dinner 'y/n'." Lee spoke softly. "Yeah?" you said turning to look him in the eyes. "This weekend." "I'm up for it!, Can't wait till then" you say laughing

๋࣭ ⭑⚝He thinks you're the most beautiful person he's ever seen when you laugh. "Well, that's settled. We have to get back on set before breaks over. he voices.

Bro- this is so bad I WANNA CRY.

I am also so SORRYYYY this took so long to write. I had to start this over 4 different times 😔 i just cant- UGHHHH

[l-starsz]

Cheater billie shows up at readers door begging for a second chance

a/n: i have an idea for a part 2 of this is anyone wants it🫶

i was so exhausted. i’d had the busiest day and had only just got home. best believe i was going to bed straight away. i immediately went to my bedroom, brushing my teeth before changing into pyjamas. i was practically falling asleep whilst i took my makeup off.

as soon as i turned my light out and laid down in bed, i let out the biggest sigh of relief. i didn’t even bother to check my phone as i put it on charge and just laid there. in silence. under all of my blankets. falling asleep. i was so relaxed until i heard my phone buzz a few times.

i obviously ignored it. nothing was interrupting my sleep. well that’s what i thought.. until there was a knock at my door. i was so tired that i just convinced myself that i didn’t hear it. but the knocking grew louder the more i ignored it.

i groaned and stood up out of bed, grabbing a blanket to wrap around me since i was only wearing shorts and a t-shirt. i dragged myself over to the door, my eyes drooping as i slowly opened it. my eyes weren’t closing for long since they shot open as soon as i saw who was stood outside my door.

billie? i was honestly too tired for this. i shook my head as i noticed her eyes looked slightly teary.

“what?” i asked.

i was not in the mood to be talking to her. she cheated on me months ago and i’ve refused to speak to her since. she kissed another girl at a party whilst we were together. after i’d broke up with her, she was constantly calling and messaging me begging to talk but i ignored her. she eventually gave up, so what was different about today? why did she suddenly come back into my life? again.

“can i just come in please? i wanna talk.”

i rolled my eyes and opened the door wider for her to come in. once i’d shut the door and turned around, i noticed she was just standing there awkwardly. she was acting as if she hadn’t been in my house before.

i sighed and told her to sit down. we sat on the sofa as i just stared at her, waiting to hear what she had to say. she looked down and started messing with the rings that were scattered over her fingers. something she only ever did when she was nervous.

“what is it billie? why did you come here?” i mumbled.

“i- well- uh.. i came to say sorry. i know that isn’t gonna fix anything, i know i fucked up, but i miss you so bad. life isn’t the same without you and i know that’s my own fault, i don’t know what i was thinking!! just.. please can i have a second chance. i want to prove that the kiss meant nothing to me. i want to prove that you’re the only girl i’ve ever been completely in love with. please.” the words rushed out of her mouth as tears threatened to fall from her eyes.

“billie. you cheated on me. you broke my heart. you hurt me so bad. i spent so long feeling like i was worthless and wondering what was wrong with me. you made me feel like i was unloveable, i tried so hard to be perfect for you and you kissed someone else. and now you think i’ll give you a second chance??” i spoke angrily as tears clouded my vision. i seriously could not believe what she’d said.

“i know. i understand that just coming here and saying sorry absolutely will not fix what i did. but please can you just consider it. i’ll do anything!! i’ve been so mad at myself for it. i miss waking up next to you. i miss being able to hold you and comfort you. i just miss you. i’ll make it up to you, no matter how long it takes. please.” she was practically sobbing at this point.

i just sighed and reached forwards, wiping the tears from her face, even though they continued to fall. she really did seem sorry. and she seemed so upset. i didn’t want to forgive her, i was still mad, but i couldn’t bare to see her so sad. it was her own fault, but maybe she could gain my trust again if she truly was sorry. if she really did care.

“please.” she whispered, looking into my eyes.

“i’m not saying no, but i’m not saying yes either. i mean, you cheated on me and how am i to know that you won’t do it again if i decide to trust you? how do i know that you won’t hurt me again? you just need to earn my trust back. okay? it’ll prove to me that you genuinely mean what you said.”

she nodded as i spoke, taking in every word and understanding what i meant. she sighed and dropped her head into her hands.

“i’m sorry that i fucked everything up. i promise i’m gonna make it up to you.” she mumbled.

“okay billie. thank you for apologising. now cmon, you need to go home because i’m exhausted.” we both stood up and walked over to the door.

“i’ll call you tomorrow?” she whispered.

“call me tomorrow bil.”

she nodded and i watched as she walked to her car, then she was gone.

i didn’t even know how to react. tears streamed down my face was i slowly made my way back to my bed. what if she hurt me again? why did i still care about how sad she was? my mind was racing as i just laid there, tears running across my face until i finally fell asleep.

[claymoresword]

I Choose Her | Stand Alone Series: Chapter 3

Hermione Granger x Slytherin Fem!Reader

Summary: A few years post 'Battle Of Hogwarts', y/n decides to buy her and Hermione a home that they can move into as newlyweds.

Pairing: Hermione x Reader

Wordcount: 2.8k

Warnings: smut, jealous hermione, g!p reader, dom hermione (in theory), penis in vagina sex, cunnilingus, possesive hermione is hot, porn very little plot

Note: hello! so i've had this drafted for months but just never had the motivation to finish it but i finally forced myself to write since i was missing hermione, so here it is :) this isn't an original idea (loosely inspired by a scene in a film) and i'm embarrassed to admit which movie gave me the idea so i won't say it but iykyk. anyway, enjoy!

Taglist: @aweidlich @xxsekhmet @poppyflower-22 @cocoyeehaw @blackbirdv98 @arcturusseer @cherryflavoredcoke @js-a-writer @baylegend6 @t-wylia @raven-ss @unexpected-character @brocoliisscared @aki-ham @theheartwants-what-itwants

"Make a left here." You say as you point to the turn coming ahead. Hermione merely scoffs, begrudgingly turning the steering wheel.

"Will you just tell me where you're taking us?" She asks, your wife's brows are furrowed the same way it has been the entire drive, but still, you don't give in.

Shaking your head, you respond. "Have patience, darling.. you'll see soon enough."

Although that does nothing to soothe Hermione's curiosity; her scowl only deepens.

She takes her eyes off the road for a moment to glare at you. "You know that I hate surprises."

"Oh you'll like this one, I'm sure of it." You declare with a certain conviction, soon leaning in to place a chaste kiss on Hermione's cheek.

As you almost earn a smile, you continue to kiss along Hermione's jaw before reaching up to part her hair away and doing the same on the shell of her ear.

You nip at it, and this time Hermione doesn't fight back her giggle as she squirms, shrugging you off. “Stop it, you rogue– I'm driving.” Your wife warns, and you eventually relent, leaning back in your seat as you travel further into the outskirts of London.

Gone is the bustling city, now there is only a long winding road, shaded with tall oak trees.

For a while it seems as though the journey may never end, but soon enough, a large property comes into view.

Ten acres of wood and stone, the house sits perfectly at the end of the road. It remains still and empty, abandoned for nearly a century, but it is a glorious sight nonetheless.

“Why have you brought me here?” Hermione questions as she slows the car, before it eventually comes to a complete halt.

You don't respond just yet, your bottom lip is set in between your lips in excitement as you unbuckle your seatbelt before climbing out of the vehicle.

Hermione follows suit, eager for an explanation.

You step in front of the car before speaking.

“You once told me.. when we were looking for places to stay in London, that you liked the look of this house. So I bought it.” You explain with a growing smile, glancing at the home once more.

As you take in the sight of the house and the surrounding scenery, Hermione stares at you as though you had gone mad, but inevitably, a smile also graces her delicate features.

“You are a complete imbecile.” Your wife remarks, although there is no bite to her words. It is cushioned even further with the way she practically jumps into your arms.

You chuckle as your hand rests on the small of Hermione's back. She clings to you, enthusiastically peppering kisses all over your face.

You wince at the contact, but a grin tugs on the corners of your mouth all the same. “I've made a good decision then?”

“Yes, it's- I love it. Reminds me of the lakehouse my parents owned.” Hermione admits.

She takes a step back, keeping her hands on your shoulders as she marvels at the large house with an almost childlike wonder.

Your chest brims with pride at her expression, and you proceed to intertwine your hands with Hermione's so you may walk together.

“Come, let's go see inside.” You urge, giving your wife's arm a tug, but she doesn't budge.

Instead Hermione pulls you back towards her, capturing your lips with her own for a searing kiss, her grip remains firm on your collar.

As your fingers get lost in her hair, you move to deepen the kiss, however you are abruptly interrupted by the sound of another car pulling into the driveway.

“Ah, that must be the muggle architect I hired.” You state watching as the silver car parked next to your own.

“Look, we don't have to change a thing if you don't want to.. but I figured it would be good to have a second opinion.” You express and Hermione swiftly nods, her hand remains on the nape of your neck as you both turn your attention to the curly haired brunette that emerges from the car.

The woman smiles at you as she approaches.

“Mrs Y/N, it is a pleasure to finally meet you.” The architect greets, surprising you by pulling you into a hug.

After the initial shock subsided, you stiffly embrace her in return, before shifting your gaze towards Hermione.

“This is my wife, Hermione.” You introduce, and the architect finally releases you from her hold.

“Hermione, I am Emilia.” The woman says, only regarding your wife with a firm handshake in contrast.

“This location is excellent, I am going to build you a fabulous house.” Emilia avows, her hand somehow finds your shoulder this time. Her touch lingers uncomfortably, and you catch the way Hermione is staring daggers at the other woman.

You clear your throat, deliberately taking your wife's hand in your own. “I'd like to show Hermione inside.”

“Ofcourse.” Emilia beams, but her smile doesn't reach her eyes. “This way.”

═══════════════════════════════════════════

On the inside, the house appears somehow worse for wear. The walls are caked in dust, the wallpaper and paint cracking, but it is expected, and the interior remains gorgeous nonetheless.

More importantly, you know that Hermione prefers houses like this, one with a rich history.

“This is beautiful.” Your wife gaped as you all stepped into the spacious kitchen.

“Really, you like it?” You inquire, making the mental note of keeping the kitchen as it is.

“Yes, it's perfect Y/n.” Hermione utters as she walks around the room, inspecting the aged furnishings.

“Good.” You mutter with a relieved sigh as you take off your blazer to hang it over the barstool.

“It's hot in here, isn't it?” Emilia's voice is sudden as she enters the kitchen with a roll of blueprints in hand.

“That's why I think it would be best to get rid of this old brick and instead replace it with some temperature resistant concrete.” The architect suggests, but as you open your mouth to respond you are distracted by the way Hermione falls in next to you.

She drapes her arm around your shoulder in an almost possessive fashion, her body is flush against your own, as though to eliminate any chance of space in between you.

You wrap your own arm around her waist as a way to reciprocate.

Emilia proceeds to roll out the blueprint onto the kitchen island so the three of you may look at it. “So, this is what I have in mind.”

“A state of the art, self-sufficient smart home. Marine steel with self-cleaning glass, a guest wing and an entertaining area to the west.” She continues, and you notice the way Hermione tilts her head as the architect speaks.

You know your wife well enough to understand that she only does so when she disapproves of something.

“and this, infinity pool” Emilia says as she points to the top half of the blueprint. “It will overlook a gorgeous view of the lake.” She finishes, unnecessarily reaching across the island to touch your arm.

You clench your jaw, now starting to grow agitated with the architect’s incessant attempts to flirt with you right in front of Hermione.

You feel the way your wife's hold on you tightens, she clears her throat before addressing Emilia directly.

“So you plan to tear the entire house down?” Your wife challenges and Emilia flashes an insincere smile once more.

“Why not? It is incredibly dated.” The architect remarks, glancing at you for a reaction.

“I like it, it adds character.” Hermione interjects, she threads her fingers through your hair, now demanding your attention.

You hear Emilia scoff, she continues to address your wife in a condescending tone. “Well, a new house would be a statement. Ecologically efficient– truthfully these older homes are very impractical.”

“Eitherway, it's up to you.” Emilia speaks to you directly, her fingers brushing your forearm once more.

The architect's lack of subtlety makes your brows knit together in annoyance, you look to Hermione to find her wearing a similar look on her face. Although you also notice the way her sharp gaze is now brimming with anger.

“Actually it is up to my wife. What Hermione says goes.” You declare, squeezing Hermione's waist reassuringly before removing yourself so you may look at the pool table in the study.

As you explore further, you somewhat manage to overhear the things Hermione is saying to the architect.

“Please stop speaking to my wife as if I weren't here.” Even in a hushed tone, your wife's frustration is palpable.

You can hear Emilia's chuckle, laced with condescension, no doubt, although as she tries to respond, Hermione interrupts. “This is not your prestige project, this is going to be my home.”

“If you want this job, I suggest you stop making eyes at my wife and keep your hands to yourself.” Your wife concludes firmly and only silence follows afterwards.

As you wait for a response from Emilia, you reach out for the eight ball atop the pool table, fiddling with it.

The architect soon speaks, and you listen closely in added intrigue.

“That is ridiculous, Hermione I would never–” Emilia attempts to continue the farce, but Hermione refuses to tolerate the disrespect any longer.

Your wife sighs. “I have decided this is not going to work, my wife and I don't require your services after all.”

“What? I–” Emilia stutters in evident shock, but Hermione's patience has been stretched thin.

“Do shut the door on your way out– drive safe.” Hermione instructs curtly, and more stunned silence follows before you finally hear the rustling of papers followed by the echo of footsteps heading towards the front door.

As you hear the door shut, the noise is swiftly followed by more footsteps, Hermione's heels against the hardwood flooring as she enters the room you are currently standing in.

You observe the way your wife is looking at you; she appears almost like a predator, staking her claim.

“She's gone?” You ask the obvious and Hermione nods, she gets close enough to wrap her arms around your neck.

“I think you should hire someone else.” She states in a lighthearted tone and you let out a huff in amusement, your hands find Hermione's waist as you reply. “Alright, darling, I will.”

Hermione hums in satisfaction before leaning in, her lips meet your own for a heated kiss.

You only break away once your chest is heaving.

“I've been in the presence of actual Death Eaters, and you are more intimidating than most of them.” You quip and Hermione smirks at your statement, but otherwise, she continues to look at you in a way that suggests she wasn't exactly in the mood for conversation.

“Shall we see the rest of the house?” You attempt, and your wife shakes her head in disagreement.

“Not yet.” Hermione contends and your breath hitches in your throat as her hand finds your rear, harshly holding you in place.

“You're mine.” She asserts and this time you smile, matching her intense gaze.

“Yes. All yours, my sweet.” You seal your promise by kissing the column of Hermione's throat. Your wife's hand shifts to the back of your head in approval as she bares her neck to you.

You continue to kiss her, earning a breathy moan as you sucked on her tender flesh, Hermione proceeds to tug on your hair so she may guide your mouth towards her own once more.

She kisses you passionately, open mouthed and wanting, Hermione's tongue clashes against your own repeatedly as her hands roamed your frame.

*

Eventually, her palm settles on your groin over your slacks, and you aren't able to fully comprehend what was happening before you can feel Hermione's enchantment working.

The shaft begins to form within your underwear, and the familiar sensation causes you to groan, it is only heightened as Hermione boldly palms your cock.

“Hermione–” You barely manage as your lips separate for an instant; your wife doesn't speak, but the gleam in her stare still manages to send a thrill through your body.

“My love, please–” You find yourself muttering pathetically, as you ground yourself into her touch.

Hermione gives your shaft one last squeeze before pulling her hand away. “I know, baby” Your wife coos, and you watch as she lifts her dress up to her thighs before languidly removing her black laced underwear.

“I want to feel your mouth first.” She admits as she settles her rear atop the edge of the pool table.

As Hermione parts her legs, you don't need to be told what to do next.

You kneel before her eagerly, trailing a path of wet kisses along her inner thigh before your tongue inevitably makes contact with her hot, weeping core.

Hermione gasps aloud at the sensation of your tongue on her heat. Her fist clenches in your hair once more as you begin to pleasure her with your mouth.

“Yes..” Hermione moans and you slide your tongue skillfully in between her folds. You repeat the motion a few times before settling your mouth over her sensitive clit so you can suck on it.

Hermione is already trembling once you slip your tongue inside of her. You revel in the way your wife moans aloud.

You soon break away to lap at her folds, and as your tongue makes contact with her clit again, Hermione finally comes undone.

Your wife throws her head back as her climax rips through her. You hold onto her thighs as she writhes, her hold on the back of your head is painful, in truth, but you don't care.

“Y/n,” Hermione utters breathlessly, as you place one last peck upon her swollen folds before standing up to meet her in an urgent kiss.

**

Your wife does not waste anymore time, matching your eagerness as her hands find your belt. She unclasps it with trembling hands, and you moan as she slips one hand inside of your slacks to grip the base of your shaft.

Her thumb then traces the tip of your cock before assisting you in pulling off your pants completely. As you kick them off, Hermione doesn't let go of your length, leaning back onto the pool table.

You swiftly follow her lead, as though in a trance, climbing on top of your wife.

Hermione hastily pulls down the top of her dress until they fall to reveal her breasts. You then eagerly take them in your mouth, licking and sucking on her hard nipples. Your lover rewards you with more gasps of pleasure.

Hermione tugs on your hair habitually, and once your face is hovering over her own, your wife kisses you again, stroking your length simultaneously.

You feel her leg settle around your waist as she lines up the tip of your cock to her entrance.

Meeting her halfway, you move in a fluid motion, and soon you are sheathed inside of her to the hilt. The moan that rips out of Hermione afterwards causes your cock to twitch desperately inside of her.

"Fuck–” You groan, retracting your hips slightly before pushing deep inside of her once more.

Your wife's nails begin to dig into your back through your blouse, you can feel the way she is desperately trying to pull you closer.

You oblige her, your mouth eventually finds the base of Hermione's jaw as you continue to pump in and out of her at an urgent pace.

Hermione is incoherent, she is mewling and whimpering with every movement of your hips as your cock never fails to reach just the right spots within her after each thrust.

“Y/n– don't stop” Your wife eventually manages through her heavy pants, and you can already sense her second orgasm approaching.

You don't stop, instead, bracing your hands on either side of her head, you lift yourself up before rutting into her wildly. The lewd noises of your joining fills the vast room, and Hermione's whimpers soon morph into a loud moan as she reaches her peak on your cock.

The way the walls of her cunt flutters around your shaft was maddening, and the sudden gush of arousal that coats your girth instigates your own release.

Your entire body tenses as you orgasm, mere seconds after your wife.

Your heavy breathing matches Hermione's as you collapse on top of her, for awhile all you can feel is her arms and legs draped around you, along with her soft lips against your ear.

“Perhaps I should make you jealous more often.” You mutter in a playful tone once you regain your bearings.

Your joke earns a firm slap from Hermione, one that lands directly on your bare rear.

“Don't get any ideas.” Your wife warns sternly.

[kiame-sama]

As someone who draws a lot and tends to use myself as a reference for proportions and poses, I think it'd be funny if Hae!Vil saw The Human's camera roll is just... mostly just themself in various poses (& with various outfits to get fabric right)

Vil: what.. are you doing with the pictures? none of them are posted to your magicam and the lighting and quality is terrible in them, compared to professional shooting.

Human: art

Vil: ..?

Human: I take pictures for references to draw, so I can get proportions and stuff right. though most of my characters have always been non-human, and the wings and features look weird ...

Vil: *already getting a professional photo shoot thing set up*

Human: Vil- Vil what're you doing?

Vil: I am your muse now.

Human: I- ... y'know what that's actually pretty helpful. Sure. Yeah. Thank you Vil

& from there, the Human had a much easier time drawing wings and clawed/bird feet. Occasionally they just go up to Vil like "hey Vil. Lemme see your wings. Feathers aren't feathering right in my drawings."

All of the boys would be willing to model and pose for any art the Human does. Vil, Neige, and Rook especially because they are used to the idea of using references to help with poses/proportions and two of them are professional models.

[erinwantstowrite]

Hi I know you mentioned you being aroace just a couple days ago and I was wondering if maybe you could explain more in depth about how you found out your sexuality and what not? If it’s not too personal…

I’ve always sorta struggled since I haven’t had any crushes as a kid except for maybe one and that’s just cause ppl kept asking me who mine was… so I don’t even think it was a legit crush?? So not only do I not know who (looks,gender, that sorta thing) I would like … am I ever gonna like someone to even find that out???

I know you said Superman on the new trailer was hot ahaha so do you still experience that sort of physical attraction? I’ve been told when people question which gender they like, to pick which one looks more attractive to them but I’ve never really experienced that sort of physical attraction so I can’t tell that way either…

I think any thought of a crush forming was more towards their personality as well. Looks I guess are more of a second thought I think..? Even then I can’t tell if this is “you’re such an awesome person I wanna be besties with you” really strong feeling or an actual “I wanna date this person” feeling.

The only person I’ve gotten really close to discerning it as officially crush was someone from work who was older by a good amount… which can be/is pretty weird.. Lots of people my age are just a little too crazy for me.. I guess??? Idk and even now I can’t tell if that was just “glad to have someone as a friend sorta thing. I’m really sorry if this is too personal and u don’t have to respond to the ask directly either I was just hoping on maybe some advice for some clarity if possible… as I get older and realize I’ve never dated/had that sorta infatuation it feels so excluding at times.

Also I am hoping for a feast AND desert with this “‘soon’ but still haven’t posted it two days later” chapter plz and thank you

I hope this made sense and wasn’t too invasive!! :(

when i was younger, i was reading about this kind of thing online and i didn't find anyone like me. i think it's about time that i come full circle and make my own post. i've got like half of my frontal lobe developed and i've been figuring out a lot of things about myself these past couple of years, and there might be someone out there who needs to hear this (´-`ʃ♡ƪ) so if anyone is interested, below the cut is a very long talk about how i figured some stuff out

when it came to my sexuality, i only started considering it when i was in middle school, going into high school. (which would be when i was 12-13). that's when a lot of my friends started having crushes on our classmates and i realized they were being serious when they said they had crushes on people. they had figured out their identities as being a lesbian or bisexual, and they had relationships. (or as close as you can get to that in middle school).

i started to panic and think that i was lagging behind. and i really started to repress my feelings about dating people and romance and what that would entail. i found out through the internet about being pansexual. at the time i thought "oh, they have the same attraction for everyone!" and i slapped it on myself because i thought it would fix everything. i even came out to my parents as pansexual and for a while i left it at that.

i had an idea of romance. i shipped characters in media and i knew that my parents really loved each other. there were a lot of examples for love in my life that weren't the best, but having two parents that actually did care about each other made me want that for myself in the future...

but that's in the future. i personally didn't think about it much because we were still kids. for a while i didn't think anyone else was being serious, that they were just trying it out quicker than i was ready for. it was a strange feeling. i guess i still believed we were playing make believe, or copying what we saw on TV or with our parents. often when my friends asked me who i had a crush on and i felt pressured, i would pick someone that i thought i wouldn't mind dating if i had to. someone would be "interested" in me and i would say "okay" because i felt like that was part of this game we all seemed to be playing. i've had a few "boyfriends" over the years that got people off my back when i had them. in elementary school it was this boy that didn't pick on me, another boy that was my parents' friend's kid. in middle school i had an online boyfriend and a couple of "crushes" on friends of friends, someone just a little far out of my circle that didn't shake anything up. my friends would help me get together with a person and they'd seem so excited for me, so i just went along with it.

then it hit me that they weren't doing it just to do it, or playing pretend. they actually felt something when they were interacting with their crushes. i started to reread books and rewatch media and really grasp what they were saying. the feeling of having butterflies inside them when they talked to each other, blushing when something was said? i thought that was about a general anxiety people get when talking to other people. but there was always something more to it that i just... didn't get. no matter how hard i tried, i didn't understand what that something was.

then started coming the pressure to do the same, to fit in. that's why i accepted a label of pansexual. it was "strange" but at least it didn't feel "broken." i could deal with people telling me that i was wrong for liking more than just boys. but to say that there was no one on the table gave me an anxiety i'd never felt before. like i would be letting down my family, that the entire course of my life would shift. i wouldn't walk down the aisle because there would be no wedding. my parents wouldn't have grandkids. my friends would go on to have lives completely separate from mine, we'd have nothing in common anymore. so i stuffed it all down and made myself believe that this wasn't who i was.

it really mixed me up because i did have a couple of "crushes" that felt real. there were a few girls i was friends with, there were boys in my classes (usually class clowns...) that i'd get excited to see every day. when i thought about dating them, it felt nice. any other time when i thought about dating someone, i'd get this awful feeling in my gut that i later realized was dread. i was fully convinced it was different from all the other times. that "different" that i didn't understand before.

it was different! but not for the reason i thought it was. those people made me laugh, they listened and remembered things about me (that i didn't get much of during that time of my life), and most of all: they didn't like me back.

there were literally no expectations in their eyes for things to go away from friendship. and i think that's what made me like them, but not as a crush. it was relief. there was always an expectation for other people (specifically boys) that if we were friends, things would stray from friendship at some point. not with these people. that relief, combined with all the other good feelings they gave me (class clowns...) made it so much easier to fall into a friendship that i didn't have with other people. and i was in denial for so long that i thought of those friendships as crushes because they were different from other friendships.

there were a couple of times that i got close to having to face my sexuality and it felt like a gut punch. there were a couple of people i was friends with (that i didn't have crushes on) that i had previously thought "if i had to pick someone" about. but when they actually told me their feelings, i would run away. in one case, i literally ran away. i changed my entire routine so that i wouldn't have to face them. and i'm a creature of habit, so of course i took that step back and asked myself why i was having such a strong reaction. my friends didn't understand why i was so panicked about these confessions. especially because before, i "liked" people and had no problem with it.

part of my feelings were that no one would actually like me (which only furthered me not wanting/not considering romance). some of the confessions that i got were fake/pranks, and it would really mess with my head. i wasn't skinny, i knew i was strange and awkward, and i could be very brash and stubborn. i had a weird sense of humor and i missed social ques. i got a lot of "you should be a lawyer" and complaints of being bossy when i was growing up and i always knew they really meant "you're a bitch." i wouldn't understand why i felt so othered from my peers like that until i learned i was possibly autistic, and i only found that out a couple years ago. combined with being plus sized and not conventionally attractive, i didn't get much breathing room. if i wasn't perfectly calm all the time, if i didn't force myself to be overly nice to people, and if i wasn't funny, i'd get told i was "draining" to be around.

i did a lot to try and fit in. i kept my hair long because people would compliment it, i tried to wear skirts instead of pants/shorts, i'd wear comfy clothes and the like so i didn't look like i was trying too hard. a lot of my personality was forced and i was the one who was being drained instead. i ended up having to get a radar for when people were just messing with me. and so when a real confession happened, there was a combination of anxiety about if they were faking or not, doubt that they could actually like me, and then a deep rooted fear about if they were being serious.

instead of the relief i should have felt when i learned it was a real confession, i still felt scared. it would be the same anxiety as if someone asked me to get on the world's tallest roller coaster in the world and i had just seen a chunk of the roller coaster fall in front of me.

that part made it even harder to come to grips with my sexuality. i thought if i gave up on being a hopeless romantic, i'd be giving in to all the times someone told me "I just don't see you dating anyone." being unlovable was a death sentence in my eyes. and it didn't help that i've lived in the south all my life. i was already strange and going to hell for a multitude of things. turning around and telling them that i was going against every expectation set of me to get married and have kids by 24????

(i should clarify that my parents had never been the ones to put this in my mind. when i came out as pansexual, they had only been confused about what the hell that was. the rest of their reaction was "i mean... we could already sort of tell." and while my parents had hopes for my future, i knew deep down that while they'd be a little sad not to have those expected memories with me, they wouldn't turn me away. and they would very likely be happy to create a whole different set of memories with me.)

i have my current friends to thank for me coming to terms with who i am. by the time i was in college i had started to question everything. my middle school friend group had been majority queer but we had gone to different schools or just faded apart. in high school, a majority of my time was spent in band. and while i was one of those people who had friends in a variety of friend groups, the closest friends i had were the people in my section that i sat next to every day. and in the present time, only a couple of them remained straight churchgoers. even though they've changed now just like i have, during high school i was a different story.

going to college opened me up to a far different experience. by this point i'd shifted from pansexual to bisexual. my college experience wasn't... ideal. or really healthy in any aspect. but meeting these people did dislodge the mindset i'd had for most of my life. and my current friends have changed my life. the fear that i had about being aromantic has now become the relief i needed my entire life. it doesn't feel broken, or wrong, or strange. sometimes i do feel sad about it, or question if this is really the case. maybe one day i'll meet someone who shows me that "different" feeling i'd been waiting to understand. but i grew past the societal expectation of needing a partner to be fulfilled in life and i'm so much happier.

life doesn't need to be about that partner. i have many, many friends and family to grow old with. i have a godchild!! one day i'll have my own house to celebrate holidays and achievements at, to host my friends and family. i'll have pets that i love and i'll have my own career, and i'll be happy because i never needed to fit expectations to be happy.

when it comes to anything sexual, it's sort of the same feeling as when i had "crushes" on people in real life. though also different? i don't look at real people and feel an attraction beyond knowing that they are attractive, objectively. i can feel attraction sometimes in a physical sense, but i have no interest in having anything personal happening between us. a fictional character has no interest in me, and so it feels safe to think that they're hot and to express it. like sure, yeah, i have a crush on them! i get giggly when Captain Smoker from One Piece shows up on the screen, and the new Superman makes me think "oh! okay!" but if they were real and in front of me? i'd probably... lose that attraction, like it was never there.

here's the kicker, though, and might sound weird at first: you don't have to put a label on yourself

yeah, i do consider myself aroace. but the world is ever changing and so is the human experience. it helps to have a basis, to understand your feelings and work through them. it's nice to be like "there is a name for this" and to find a community through that. i'm not saying there's anything wrong about figuring out your identity and saying "I'm this, this, and this!" nothing at all wrong with that. but we're all figuring ourselves out, all the time. it doesn't end when you put the label on. you have the entire rest of your life to continue learning things about yourself and the world around you. i wish i'd known in middle school that i didn't have to rush it, that i have every opportunity to take it one phase at a time. a human life seems fleeting, especially when you're looking back on your past and feeling like the time flew by. but that's just our perception of it as we look back.

what i mean to say it that it's okay to backtrack. it's okay to change your mind. it's okay to not put a label on it. it's okay to put a label on it. it's okay not to tell anyone, if you don't want to. it's okay to say "i'll figure it out." and it's okay if you don't. it's okay if you sit up in bed one day when you're 60 years old and go "that's what it is." as long as you live your life listening to yourself and not trying to meet an expectation you think you have to, then you're doing it right.

and it's okay if you lived your life like i did, and you didn't do any of that. being a human is messy and that's part of life. you're not gonna get it right the first time- but even then, sometimes you will! there's a nuance and a spectrum to everything you experience. take pride in who you are even if you don't have a clue yet. be kind to yourself. you're gonna be okay.

[stayandot8]

Dreams

Genre: fluff

Relationship type: bsfriend!Chan x fem reader

Important Contents: it came to me in a dream, what can I say.

WC: 1k

masterlist

It was one of those dreams again.

I came to my senses always before I wanted to. Right when the dream was getting good, I would become very aware that there was a bright light coming from somewhere, a window maybe. My next notion was that my blankets were too hot; my fan wasn’t quite doing its job. Sucky fan. 

Yet another dream about finding the love of my life with blackish-brown hair, a big smile, and a laugh that filled your soul. This one felt so real though. We had been in this big house with all of his friends and my friends and they were desperate to see us get together and of course, all of the attempts were obvious. The boy was blushing so hard his ears turned red, but he never asked them to stop. My friends were doing everything they could to clear a room for us. I tried to shoot them pleading looks all night but to no avail.

It felt earlier than normal. I was certain my alarm would go off any second now to pull me away from this happy middle ground I was in the middle of. It was such a nice dream that I thought if I could just drift off again, I could go back to it. But the blankets were too hot, my breathing was too shallow, and I felt myself slowly rise from that dreamland, probably never to be found again.

But things were different. 

Outside of my consciousness, the air around me was off. The familiar scent of my bedroom wasn’t filling my nostrils like it should have. No, instead, the smell of something…edible…

It was still a struggle to open my eyes. A blur, everything blurred together and I couldn’t see straight. That’s what I blamed it on, anyway. Because there was no way that most of the stuff in my bedroom was black. And where did those LED lights come from? Where is my phone? Whose fucking house am I in??

A knock on the door brought my bleariness to full alert. And then that boy that I had been dreaming about came through the door. Eyes soft, black hair with some curls poking through, and a soft smile that made my heart jump. He was bringing a plate of something over to the bed that I was laying on, face-first into a pillow. 

“Hey, sunshine.” 

I grumbled something incoherent. 

“Tough night, huh?”

I furrowed my brows, and looked at him through my smushed face. Huh?

“What are you on about, Bang?” 

“You crashed pretty hard last night. You would barely move off the couch.”

“Then how did I get here?”

“I had to carry you so you wouldn’t get a crick in your neck.” His laugh squeaked out of him. “After everyone left, you passed out.”

“How drunk was I?”

“You started renaming all of our Skzoos. What does that tell you?”

I chuckled at the memory that was then coming back to me. “Oh yeah. Leebitch.”

“You named Bbokari ‘Dinner’, which was very creative by the way. Felix is waiting for your apology. And that was just the start.” He laughed. “You tried to draw vampire teeth on WolfChan before I took the marker away from you.”

I scoffed. “You should see what Stay says about that music video, vampire man.” He squeaked out another laugh.

“Oh, I know.” A pause as he looked over at me, in his bed. A question came to mind. 

“If I slept here, where did you sleep?”

“You wouldn’t let me leave. You have an iron grip when you’re drunk. I couldn’t even get up to brush my teeth.” 

“Which I bet was the first thing you did this morning, wasn’t it.”

“...Maybe.” He handed me the plate of kimchi stir fry he had brought and settled on the empty side of the bed. “So…do you remember what happened last night?”

My fork froze mid-air. “Uhm…Not really. Fill me in?” I said, staring at the plate. 

“Everyone was teasing you about me. Any ideas why?”

“Did Minho make this? Because it’s really good.” I scarfed down more so my mouth was full.

“After your conversation with Felix, everyone made themselves scarce. Which was convenient, I thought, considering your plan.”

I swallowed. “Plan? What plan?” I braced, unsure if I wanted to hear my drunken foretellings of what I had wanted to go down last night. I had an inkling of course, given my hidden undying love for the boy sitting in front of me but would I say that out loud?

“Your plan to get me to fall in love with you after everyone leaves.”

Shit. Yes, yes I would say it out loud. 

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

I snorted, trying to let my attempt at ease become real.

“Now why would I say a thing like that? That’s…crazy, Preposterous, even. That’s sooo unlike anything I would ever say.”

“Oh yeah?” Chris raised his eyebrows at me, peering at me like I had stolen something. That shut me up. I just stared at him. 

“Why are you not freaking out?”

“Because your plan worked.”

I choked on the rice. After a serious coughing fit and the tears stopped welling up, it was all I could do to continue to stare blankly at him and just say “What?”

“Dude. I’ve been in love with you for several months now.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been professed to while it is being proceeded by the word ‘dude’.” He just kept laughing. 

“Sorry, it slipped out. But I mean it.”

I didn’t know what to say. I just stared. 

“You can keep staring at me after you take a shower, I promise.”

That broke me of my stupor. 

“Did you just tell the love of your life that she smells?”

“Who said you’re the love of my life?” He called over his shoulder, heading to the bathroom. 

“I believe I did. Just now.” Climbing out of bed was a struggle, but the giddyness of the events that had just unfolded was enough motivation. “Are you joining me in this shower?”

“Maybe!”

[kyri45]

I saw a post and you mentioned college and so while I'm not ready for college yet I'm still thinking about my options. So is college worth it? Like you don't need to go to college to be an amazing artist now a days. I really wanna be a professional artist but I honestly don't if college is worth with its cons. (Btw your art always makes me emotional and happy. I really appreciate you and your dedication)

I mean, if you can afford it, go for it. Every academy is different, and they definetely have their own issue. But I can't deny that I surely grown a lot. I grown the most during those years. But that s also cause I put all myself in it. Plus I befriended a lot of cool people. Art school folks are always the best folks. I have no idea how it is in the US, but half of our classes were theorical(?) classes. I did a lot of philosophy, antrophology, psychology, art hystory, etc... these were all subject I was also interested with so I also greatly appreciated what I was learning.

BUT!

If you plan on going on a "visual arts" school, don't expect to do cartoon illustration ahah.

What I did was contemporary art. It's less drawing and more crafting. I liked it, it completely changed how I viewd art and what I thought it was. It was kind of revolutionary. But it's not for everyone.

So be sure to understand how they teach art wherever you wanna go.

I went to art school more for the experiemce and vibes. And I surely had much more fun than what I would had as a selftaught. (I like being around people, so I liked the class for the friends and conversation about art I would have)

But If it's too expensive, you can perfectly be selftaught for what you find online. You might have to follow multiple classes.

I wanted to go to a more cartoon oriented school, but even if I won a couple of scholarships, they werent enough to sustain me all 3 years. So i went to the public school. I learned what they didn t teach me online and by practicing a lot.

[nanamis-bigtie]

oxytocin

↬ higuruma hiromi x gn afab!reader ↬ jjk masterlist // ao3 version // kofi

cw: smut, chubby reader, established relationship, oral sex (r receiving), scent kink (hiromi likes to take a sniff) summary: hiromi apologizes to you for broken promise. with his lips. word count: 2,293 a/n: i promised myself I'm gonna write more self-indulgent stuff in 2025. and what's better indulgence than your fave being crazy about your body type, right? i like having my readers as neutral as i can make them but hell, i enjoyed writing this sooo much. I think this won't the last chubby reader I post. the idea for this fic came to me when I was listening to "oxytocin" by billie eilish on repeat - and thus the title. divider by saradika

"I could swear you promised you won't work on your days off."

You creak the door open just enough to slide in and lean against the frame, arms crossed on your chest. You try to look stern, but Hiromi barely flicks eyes over his laptop, so engrossed by his task even your grimace can't pull him away. Under other circumstances you would leave him to his matters, knowing better than interrupting him when he's in the flow, but today is different. Today is the first proper morning you spend together in your new house; no more unpacking, no more chaotic struggle between this place and your old apartment, no more exhausting IKEA trips, everything sneaked into your busy schedules by a thin margin.

He should be snoring softly by your side in your shared bed, sleeping off the housewarming party and a month-long plague of overtime. Not—bothering his body and mind with extra job he won't be even paid for.

"Hiromi..." You tiptoe closer and behind him, arms thrown over his shoulders and crossed over his chest.

He jumps a little but leans into your touch soon after. You press face into the crown of his head, inhaling fresh scent of his shampoo.

"I put the dishes away," he mutters and groans as you work through the tension in his sides and shoulders. "And cleaned up the living room."

"That's not what I meant." You pepper kisses down his temple, cheek and jaw. "You promised you won't do that. And especially not at 7a.m."

You reach over him and close the laptop, gently pushing it away before Hiromi catches on your move and tries to snatch it. He meets your hands instead, gathers them in his and pulls them close to his chest, trapping you in the role of a weighed blanket.

"It was just a single e-mail." Blatant lie, mollified with his nose rubbing against your neck, looking for the most delicious spots. "I would have finished before you wake up."

"Well, I am here, awake, and what do I see?"

You nip and suck at the tip of his ear, noting with satisfaction how his body trembles, the faintest of whines escaping his lips before he whisks away and returns the favor.

"I'm sorry, darling." Hiromi kisses his apologies along your neck, twists his torso to try and sneak a taste of your chest, delicious strap of bare skin revealed by loose pajama top. There's only one thing stronger than his persistent work obsession and he's chasing it like starved now, the fear of being punished for his broken oaths creeping behind hasty pecks and licks. "What can I do to make it up to you?"

He's ready to beg to get what he wants and avoid the repercussions, and as much you love the teary look he gives you when he's desperate, you're in mood for quite different Hiromi. You woke up with a goal on mind, disappointed you found his side of the bed empty and cold, unable to sate your needs without leaving the comfort of freshly bought sheets.

He pouts when you move away but hopeful gleam returns to his eyes when you sneak in between him and the desk. You wiggle yourself on top of it, legs spread just right to engulf him—and he doesn't make you wait, immediately shoving the chair forwards, until he's surrounded by your thick thighs.

"You're so warm..." He runs hands up them, trailing the lines of your stretch marks towards the hem of your skimpy shorts, kneading the soft rolls right under it.

"I would be warmer if you hadn't forced me out of the bed," you scoff but your voice is already melting. His hands are so smooth and gentle, so addictive with the way he touches you. He adores each inch of your skin, no crumb of your body able to escape his attention when he's in trance like this.

"I'm sorry." Hiromi darts his eyes up at you, drooping eyelids adding to his begging puppy look—but the fire in his gaze has nothing to do with submissiveness. He lets you hold the leash but it's not a firm hold.

He's going to yank it out of your hands soon.

You rest your feet on the armrests and lean a little to the back. Your shirt rolls up, revealing a roll of your tum over the doubled elastic band of shorts and panties.

Hiromi pounces on it like starved.

His kisses are soft at first, grazing the lines of stretch marks and adoring the delicate skin, but he can't restrain himself any longer. He licks and sucks, bites marks of possession in place only him is allowed to look, teases your bellybutton with the tip of his tongue to drag a sweet, ticklish giggle out of you. Greedy, he shoves the shirt more out of his way and buries his face whole into your tum, his moans swallowed by your body.

"Fucking hell, you're so hot..." he half-cries, blood rushing south already messing with his senses. His eyes are unfocused as he steals a sight of your face from his spot, almost rolling into the back of his head when he takes in the smell of your body, natural and soaked in lazy warmth of your shared bed. In no time, he's diving for more, pulling your bottoms with hands and teeth alike; when the line of your pubes and a glimpse of your soft mound welcomes him, he moans so obscenely you could swear he's finished in his pants just at the sight.

Your shorts are thrown aside and forgotten but he keeps your panties on, eyes transfixed on the wet stain right over your slit.

"For me?" He sucks air in, sharp, and traces it with a thumb, pressing gently at the outline of your clit.

For a moment he's overwhelmed by the gamut of options, but he doesn't let you grow impatient and dives straight for his favorite. Keeping you in place with surprisingly strong hold on your hips, Hiromi leans for it and sniffs your pussy through the fine fabric, loud whiff followed by even louder moan. Through seconds heavy like lead he only breathes you in and pushes his nose right at the center of the growing wetness—but he doesn't forget about you, he could never, your pleasure the most delicious treat for him.

He rubs his face whole into it, soaking himself in your scent, using his nose and lips to get you off through your panties. He sucks on your clit, his mouth full of the fabric, licks your juices, sneaks his tongue into all the delicious crevices, more and more soaked, the barrier between you two almost ceasing to exist.

"'romi..." you struggle to speak, to make any sound, really. The work of his mouth is divine and the fact he hasn't tasted you raw yet only adds to the fire. Anticipation is growing with each impatient lick and groan of his pleasure. He holds on to you as if you were bound to escape him if he lets go only for a second, his nails digging in your thighs, spreading you open and pinning you down for him.

But soon he can't be satisfied only with that. 

You chirp with disappointment when he pulls away, but you quickly catch on his plan and lift your hips as much as you can with your legs on the verge of folding. He yanks your soaked panties down to your ankles, frees them—and pushes his face into them, inner, wetter side right for his nose. A few deep and desperate breaths later, he folds them into his pocket for later, and focuses his eyes on your pussy, bare this time, moist and ready for him.

Hiromi mutters a curse as he loosens the collar of his shirt, futile attempt of protecting it from your juices. With how he eats you out—like a madman, like a feral animal—it stands no chance; its front ends up crumbled and stained in seconds as he leans his whole body into yours, sniffing you bare from the waist to crotch.

He's finally there, nose grazing your clit, tongue darting out to tease your lips and the edge of your entrance, ready to slip in as soon as you pull on his hair.

But the softest taps of fluffy feet stop him in his tracks. Both of you forgot about the door, still open for your curious cat, ready to investigate the source of noises so unusually early in the morning. Hiromi freezes, face inches over your mound, and follows her with the corner of his eye, can't help a chuckle when she assigns him as the most interesting object in the room and enthusiastically rubs her face against his calf.

"Oh kitty, not now." He still leans down to scratch her behind ear. "Good girl. Now let us be."

"You're nicer to her than to me," you joke but Hiromi takes it personally, look in his eyes so hurt you almost regret teasing him. Abandoning cat to its own shenanigans, he cradles your hand in his and pulls it to his lips, his kiss pressed to your wrist wet with your own arousal still lingering on them.

"I'm horrible today," he mutters against your skin, trails his love up your forearms, nuzzles his cheek into your wrist. "I hope you'll forgive me."

Intrusion has simmered the heat between you two down, but he quickly builds it back. You're no longer able to hold yourself on your elbows, with each kiss and hickey sucked into the softness of your thighs you lean more to the back, finally lying flat on the desk, with little to no care for possibly slipping down. Hiromi wouldn't let you, anchoring your hips as he finally returns to his breakfast. He laps, sips and sucks; dirty praises he mutters between slurps drown under wet sounds his busy tongue creates.

Self-indulgence is gone, Hiromi's only goal now is to bring you the most delicious orgasm. Even commotion between his legs doesn't distract him, not with your legs frantically closing on him, engulfing him with the plush of your thighs.

You're close, teetering on the edge of ecstasy.

Cat meows for attention, paws at Hiromi's pants, attempts to climb his lap but falls, unable to squeeze between the union of your bodies. Hiromi, head buried in his favorite spot, reaches blindly to untangle her paws from himself. One of them somehow slips into his pocket, dragging half of your panties out. Delicious, dangling treat for a curious creature, now interested more in fishing it out than begging for attention from her favorite human.

"Shoo, go away." Hiromi has to stop, much to your irritated whine. "That's not for you."

Panties are clumsily showed back, cat pushed further under desk with a foot. You start lifting yourself on elbows again, determined to pull Hiromi by hair where he belongs, but he's faster, lips wrapped around your clit, two fingers sliding inside you and curling, right at the delicious spot he knows will have your back arching in ecstasy.

You curse through clenched teeth, legs tensing and trembling, thighs squeezing him tight until he's moaning into your cunt. He sucks even harder, sharp draft through nose the last breath he takes before putting every ounce of his focus into bringing you pleasure.

"—mi!" You sob and tense, finally reaching the longed-for peak. He gently licks you through it, fingering you until you stop throbbing around him, and he can finally pull away, panting, his cheeks red from lack of air.

Hiromi nuzzles up to your thigh and welcomes you with a lazy, enamored smile when you find power to lift yourself again and look at him. His face is flushed and stained with your juices and his saliva, eyelids drooping even lower than usual. You thread fingers through his hair; he closes eyes in pleasure and leans into your touch.

"Am I forgiven?" He smiles, enamored with the views in front of him and drunk on your taste.

"You are. More than forgiven."

He helps you shimmy closer and chases your lips with the softest kiss. You can taste yourself on his tongue—a pleasant, nerve-tickling reminder of pleasure he's given you with it.

A shared moment of sweet distraction is enough for the cat to get the attention she wanted. A quick paw later, she steals your panties from Hiromi, and bolts with it in her teeth as if death itself chased her.

"Ah, you little—" Hiromi tries to grab her, only gets a tickle of her tail. "There she goes..."

"I'm gonna get her." You slip off the desk, ready to corner the little thief where you know she's hiding, under her favorite armchair in the living room. But Hiromi is even faster than the cat, one hand grabbing your hand, the other pushing you back towards the desk—and down, bending you with hips right at the perfect height for him.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" He ruts against your ass, groans as its softness swallows his erection, ready to be freed of his pants and sunk into your hot hole. "I thought I were forgiven?"

"But cat—" You fight against it just for the show, heat perking its head again, hungry for his cock.

Hiromi pins you down harder, until you mewl in discomfort, the hard edge of desk sinking into your tum. He steals a shallow thrust against you and presses close to your back, panting into your ear in need between words, his voice strained and guttural, "No, darling. Cat can wait. You can chase her after I've creampied you thoroughly."

[heartsforvin]

could you write an imagine where vin gets readers dad's permission to marry her + include a proposal? i feel like that'd be so cute to read!

from 🤎 anon

BLESSINGS

this is soooo cute thank you so much for the request !!

pairing: vinnie hacker x fem!reader

warnings: cussing, use of pet names, if i missed anything lmk !!!

summary: vinnie gets your fathers blessing to marry you, since he dreams of spending the rest of his life with you

authors note: trying to clear out my inbox from months worth of requests 🥲

you and vinnie had been dating for five years when he finally decided he truly did want you in his life forever. he had spent the last few months planning out everything from how to get your fathers permission, all the way from where and how he was going to ask you.

once he had it to a T, he planned out how your day was going to go. vinnie had texted one of your friends, telling her the plan on how he was going to propose to you today.

he asked if she could take you out to get your nails done, but to not make it looks suspicious, moralize the two of you were just going to have a normal girls day.

once you had finally left the house, vinnie took minute to recollect himself, gain the strength and courage to go over to your parents place and ask that big question to your father.

stepping out of his car, vinnie walked up to the front door of your parents place and rang the doorbell, awaiting for an answer.

after a few seconds the door opens and your mother appears. "vinnie, what a surprise," the woman greets the blonde with a smile and hug. "what are you doing here?" she asks.

vinnie clears his throat, stuffing his hands in his sweatshirt pockets. "is mr. y/ln home?" vinnie asks.

your mother nods, opening the door wider for vinnie to step inside. once inside, your mom directs vinnie to where your dad is, he thanks her before heading into the living room.

when your dad notices vinnie he stands up from the couch and shakes his hand. "hey vinnie, what brings you here?" he asks.

vinnie smiles softly before speaking. "i wanted to talk to you, o-or more so ask you something." the blonde stutters out.

the older man nods, vinnie can see the confusion laced with a bit of fear on his face, wondering what he's about to say.

both men take a seat across from each other and your dad nod for vinnie to continue.

the blonde can't help but feel the anxiety rise, suddenly freezing up as he tries to ask the most important want question to your father.

"i um," vinnie clears his throat and chuckles softly. "i wanted to ask for your blessing to marry y/n." he finally gets out.

the older man looks at your boyfriend for a minute, but then a small smile appears, making vinnie's nerves calm.

"you want to marry my daughter?" your father asks, making sure he heard correctly.

vinnie nods. "yes, i- i do, i love her very much, maybe even more than myself or even life itself. i want to give her the best life, the life she deserves. you've known me for the last five years, and i have no doubt that if you didn't like me or anything like that, that you would've given me the boot years ago. so yes, i do want to marry your daughter, to be apart of her life forever, because honestly, i can't see my world without your daughter in it."

vinnie watches the man's expression change, seeing a smile appear on his face. "i know you're a good man, vinnie,” your dad reassures. “y/n loves you very much, i can tell from the way she’d always come home from a date of yours and had the biggest smile. so this is me giving you my blessing to marry her, make her the happiest woman in the world.”

vinnie smiled widely, not really believing the words he’s hearing right now, but loving it. he shakes the man’s hand and thanks him, staying for a bit longer to gather ideas on how he wants to propose to you.

he wants to make it special, to make it memorable to both of you. on his way home, all he thought about was his idea on how he was going to ask the big question.

✧∘* ೃ ⋆｡˚.

days have passed now and vinnie has come up with the perfect way to ask you to marry him. he had told you to get your nails done, you thought it was a bit suspicious since it wa so out of the blue, but you went along with it anyways.

it was almost sunset, the perfect time for this. vinnie was getting the last finishing touches set up. he was planning on having you meet him at the place he took you for your second date.

the date that really sealed the deal for you both.

once everything was set up an done, vinnie waited anxiously for your text. the place in question was on top of a hill vinnie had taken you to, saying it was perfect to watch the sunset.

you finally texted him saying you wee here and vinnie walked down to meet you.

vinnie smiles when he sees you. "hey, you." he says as he pulls you into a hug.

you kiss the side of his head, smiling at him as you pull way. "another spontaneous date?" you ask with a small chuckle.

vinnie tries to play it off and laughs along with you.he takes your hand and takes you up the hill.

"close your eyes, its a surprise." vinnie says, watching you close your eyes.

once up on the hill, vinnie smiled as he told you to open your eyes. once you did, a wide smile spread across your face.

"vin," you whisper as you look up at him. "what's all this for?" you ask.

vinnie smiles, placing his hands on your hips, holding you close to him. "wanted to surprise you." he ays.

he takes your hand and walks with you to the picnic blanket that laid just in the right spot to get perfect view of the sunset.

you can't help but keep smiling feeling immensely happy. vinnie takes your hands in his and looks at you.

the sun was eating as he looked at you, now was the perfect time to say what he wanted.

"you mean the world to me, do you know that?" vinnie asks, making you smile softly as you nod.

he smiles, getting down on one knee, which makes you gasp. "i want to spend the rest of my life with you, raise kids, grow old, all of it." he starts.

you don't know how to feel in the moment, emotions heightened as you listen to vinnie speak. "i love you so much, sweetheart. everything about you amazes me everyday. i can't imagine a life without you, so would you do me the honor of being my wife?"

your eyes start welling with tears, not believing what's actually happening. you nod, smile wide across your face as you tell him yes.

"I'll marry you, vinnie," you whisper a you lean into hug him. "i love you so much."

vinnie let go and kisses you softly. "can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you." he whispers against your lips.

you smile, hugging him tightly. the rest of the night was spent with laughter and love. you can't wait to spend the rest of your life with him either.

first fic of 2025 !!!!! this has been in my drafts since august so it’s been in here a bit 😭 i hope you all liked it either way !!!

tags: @anqeliclust , @deansbeer , @nativegirltapes , @khackerr , @slvthrs , @bernelflo , @laylasbunbunny , @jpg3 , @khxna , @thesebitcheslovesosadotcom , @lovingsturniolo , @louloulemons-blog , @visualbutterflysworld , @0strawberrysorbet0 , @miilzzy , @hallecarey1 , @kriissy4gov , @skye-44 , @leqonsluv3r , @defnotayonna , @kayleighh , @supabhad , @sturnioloshacker , @submattenthusiast

[mattsobvimyfav]

roommates (matthew sturniolo)

the final.

It had been four years since that chaotic, heartbreaking day. Four years since Charlie and I had stormed out of the dorms, and left behind Matt, Chris, and Nick and that entire chapter of our lives.

In the years that followed, the little fame we had garnered from appearing in the triplets’ videos became a stepping stone for something much bigger. Charlie and I threw ourselves into creating content, documenting everything from our college experiences to our spontaneous adventures, and even sharing vulnerable moments about personal growth and moving on.

The hard work paid off. Our YouTube channel blew up, amassing millions of subscribers. On TikTok, we were even bigger, By the time we graduated college three months ago, we had become well-known influencers in our own right, working with major brands and having multiple other influencers collabing with us.

But through all of that, there had been one rule we both followed without question: we didn’t speak about the triplets. Ever.

At first, fans flooded our comments asking about them. There were edits of Matt and me, of Charlie and Chris. Some even romanticized our fallout. But over time, the questions faded as our own content overshadowed the past. For over a year, there hadn’t been a single mention of them on our platforms.

In those four years, I rebuilt myself. I learned to let go of the hurt, piece by piece. And now, I was happy. I even had a boyfriend, Leonard, who I’d been dating for eight months. He wasn’t flashy or overly romantic, but he was dependable, and kind. He grounded me in a way I didn’t think anyone could after Matt.

Today, Leonard had helped us load our bags into my car before kissing me goodbye. Charlie and I were heading to the airport, about to embark on a new chapter of our lives in Los Angeles. We’d been offered incredible opportunities to work with major brands, collaborate with influencers, and expand our content. We’d also decided to live together, finding comfort in the bond that had carried us through so much.

As The uber drove us to the airport, Charlie was buzzing with excitement, scrolling through Pinterest for decor ideas. “What do you think about a gallery wall in the living room?” she asked, turning the phone to show me.

I smiled, glancing at her briefly. “I love it. Just don’t let me handle the measurements this time. Remember the disaster with the string lights?”

She laughed, shaking her head. “I still can’t believe you used duct tape.”

We pulled into the airport parking lot, and for a moment, the reality of what we were doing hit me. This wasn’t just a trip. This was the start of something huge, a completely new life.

As we grabbed our bags and made our way to the terminal, Charlie grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly. “Can you believe we’re doing this?”

I looked at her, my best friend who had been through everything with me, and nodded. “I can’t believe we made it here.”

Four years ago, I thought I’d lost everything. But now, as we boarded the plane to Los Angeles, I realized I hadn’t lost anything that truly mattered. Charlie and I had built something incredible out of the ashes, and this was just the beginning.

A week into our trip to LA, Charlie and I stood outside a beautiful two-story blue house on a quiet, tree-lined street. The kind of street where you could hear birds in the morning. It wasn’t overly fancy, but it had charm, and as soon as we saw it, we knew. This was the one.

The house had a wrap-around porch with white railing, The blue siding gleamed under the California sun, and there were flower boxes under the windows, some with blooming plants that added pops of color. It was perfect.

“I can already see it,” Charlie said, her eyes sparkling as she stood on the porch. “Us sitting out here, sipping coffee in the mornings. You editing videos, me thinking of video ideas… This is it.”

I smiled, looking up at the house, trying to picture what our lives would look like here. It was hard to believe how far we’d come. From two broken heart eighteen year old girls to traveling across the country to start fresh, this felt like the reward for every hard decision we’d made.

Inside, the house was just as inviting. Hardwood floors, big windows that let in so much light it felt like you were outside, and a kitchen with just enough character to feel homey without being outdated. There were two bedrooms upstairs—one for each of us—and a small extra room we immediately decided would be our “creative space.”

As the real estate agent handed us the paperwork to sign, Charlie nudged me with her elbow. “You sure about this?”

I nodded, a grin spreading across my face. “This is ours.”

By the time we walked out with the keys, the sun was setting, painting the sky in shades of pink and orange. Charlie unlocked the door, pushing it open dramatically and yelling, “Welcome home, baby!”

We laughed, running inside like kids, already talking about where we’d put our furniture and how we’d decorate for Halloween.

That night, as we sat on the floor eating takeout in our empty living room, it hit me. This wasn’t just a house; it was a new beginning. A place for us to grow, dream, and finally let go of the pieces of the past we’d been holding onto.

“This is gonna be good,” Charlie said, raising her smirnoff bottle in a toast.

“To us,” I replied, clinking mine against hers.

As Charlie and I sat cross-legged on the living room floor, laughing over our plans for the house, a sudden knock at the door startled us. We both froze, exchanging wide-eyed glances.

“Who could it be?” Charlie whispered, her voice barely audible.

“Maybe the real estate agent forgot something?” I suggested, though my stomach churned with unease.

We stood up, the mood shifting instantly from lighthearted to tense. Slowly, I made my way to the door, Charlie right behind me. My hand hesitated on the knob for just a second before I turned it and pulled the door open.

My heart stopped.

Standing on the other side of the door, looking older but all too familiar, were Matt, Chris, and Nick.

Matt’s eyes met mine first, his expression dropped, Chris looked like he was trying to form words but couldn’t, and Nick mouth was hanging open.

“Y/N”-

a/n- THANK YOU ALL SOOO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT ON THIS SERIES I LOVE YOU ALL🩷 ITS BEEN A FUN RIDE

tag-

@ch0llies @namelesssav @christmastreecake @mattsturnii @larnieboox88 @izzylovesmatt @tbfaptbfae @2muchofaslvt @sturnioloshottiekay @rockstarchr1s @simply-a-simper @realuvrrr @sophia-77n @christophersstar @mattscore

[lostintransist]

Secrets Are For Grown Ups | Part 6

Part 1 can be found here. AO3

Shout out to @xbirdiex

Saturday moved with ease, John and Nyla joined you in taking the boys to the planetarium and lunch before dropping by the park for the regularly scheduled play date with other neighborhood kids.

Nyla stretched upon climbing out of your van. The ride from downtown to the park closest to your house had taken much longer than expected. There were several accidents on the freeway that delayed you by nearly an hour.

“I’ll be taken myself on a walk, you youngin’s watch the bairns.” With that, she strode with purpose on the path that circled the park.

The boys released themselves from their seats and took off screaming like only a seven-year-old can. Sharing a look with John you grab your park blanket from the back before locking the van.

John rubbed the back of his neck; he had been stuck in the back with the boys who talked the entirety of the car ride.

“They sure do have a lot of energy.”

Laughing you lead the way to a relatively flat spot of grass and lay out your blanket.

“They sure do. If you can believe it this is less energy than they used to have.”

Aghast John stares at you deep concern etched between his brows. It triggered a whole ‘nother round of laughter. Wiping your eyes free of the joyful tears you go on to explain.

“Toddlers have more energy but fewer words and are arguably much harder to care for. They are attracted to death, finding things that can kill them everywhere.”

“How did you manage?” He glances from you to the children crawling over the park equipment like ants over a corpse.

“Larsen mostly.” You smile softly thinking of your best friend.

John leans back on his hands, crossing his feet at the ankles.

“Tell me about him?”

“Larsen?” You question, surprised.

“Mom!” Mac comes racing up to you, “There is a kid that is throwing bark at people.”

“Okay, is he still doing it or did his grown-up take care of the problem?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, so it sounds like it has been taken care of right?” You lift a brow in conjunction with your question.

“Yeah,” Mac nods once before taking off at the same speed he arrived.

Blowing out a breath you glance to John and roll your eyes about your child’s antics.

“What do you want to know about Larsen?”

“Let’s start at the beginning, how did you meet?”

You can’t help the smile that blooms across your face.

“We met in second grade, about the same age the boys are now. We became the best of friends and were thick as thieves. Larsen lived outside the boundaries of our school but his parents used one of his grandparent’s addresses to get him into a ‘better school’.” You roll your eyes at that but continue. “We stayed friends all through school. He was my best friend. So many people in high school thought we were dating. Made it so hard to get a boyfriend.”

John laughed at the bitter cast to your voice. “Seems like it turned out well for you though.”

Canting your head side to side you decide how to explain.

“Larsen didn’t like the idea of romantic love; never had a partner because of it. When I got the news I was pregnant he was my first call.” You chuckle at the memory now, “I told him everything that had happened and you know what my best friend did? He offered to marry me over the phone.”

You pause your tale to yell at Jace to get down, the outside of the equipment is not meant for playing.

Picking up the story where you had left it you continue, “I said yes, obviously. He was the best partner I could have asked for. You are staying in his old room actually. We didn’t have a conventional marriage but he loved the boys fiercely; said he would be their father before anything else in his life. Damn man nearly passed out during delivery though.”

The memory still makes you smile, both your mom and Larsen’s had come to help with delivery. He didn’t even hold a leg as you pushed out the boys but one glance at your nether regions and the blood gushing from your vagina had him pale and had his mom shoving him into a chair with a ‘you are not going to pass out, we are all busy right now.’ The midwife team had laughed at that with you as you laughed out Jace. Mac had already been whisked away to get cleaned up.

“He sounds like a good man, the boys talk about him sometimes,” John is contemplative in his tone.

You curl your knees to your chest, wrapping your arms around them and resting your chin down too.

“His death shocked us all. He had an aneurysm at work, gone before the paramedics arrived.”

“Not a bad way to go all things considered,” John mused aloud.

“Noah MacTavish! Get down now!” Mac makes a guilty face as he is caught scaling the play structure. “No, it could have been worse. He left us with a healthy chunk of life insurance and because he passed at work we got all the life insurance money from that fiasco. I paid off the house and invested the rest. I opened my cake decorating business within a few months of his passing to pay for our daily expenses, got all three of us in therapy, and then the boys started Kindergarten soon after. Larsen’s mom, Crystal, and my mom both stepped up in amazing ways.”

John is looking at you when you glance his way, the depth in his gaze sends shivers across your skin. The last time you had seen that look on his face had been in the weeks you were avoiding Simon on base. A deep contemplation as he mulled over his thoughts, you thought even then that it made him more attractive than should be reasonable.

Turning back to watch the boys you finish your thought.

“They both take the boys one day a week for a few hours so I have time to clean house or make deliveries or go to the doctor without an entourage.”

“Now Nyla is here and hopefully soon they will have more people to share the load,” John whistled, the sharp sound had both boys stopping their poor choices.

Speaking of Nyla caused her appearance avoiding the need for you to reply that you didn’t know if Simon and Johnny would want to be involved.

The boys played for a while longer before the three adults hustled them into the car and home for dinner.

Sunday morning saw you waking early with the boys, feeding them before sending them off to play in the backyard. Nyla and John were both able to sleep later than the six am wake-up you had.

Nearing nine am, Jace tore in through the back door as you work on the cake due today. He is holding his groin, a face of slight panic as he busts into the downstairs bathroom. You don’t remember the problem with him using that toilet until John’s startled voice sounds from the open door.

“Hello?”

“I have to go potty,” comes Jace’s quick reply.

“Ah.”

“Does your penis ever get stuck in your clothes?”

Oh no, now they are having a shower conversation. All of your focus is on the sounds drifting from the now-open door.

“Sometimes it does kiddo.”

Fuck. How do you deal with this? Jace will be done soon and John should have locked the door.

“Huh. Okay.” The toilet lid slams and you can hear Jace washing his hands before he reappears to go back to playing.

Now the question is, do you flush the toilet and shut the door? Yes. John deserved to shower in peace. As you reach the door you announce yourself.

“Don’t mind me, I am just going to take care of the step Jace missed.”

“Thanks, dove,” John’s voice drifts down over the shower curtain and you stop yourself from imagining anything that might join that thought.

“I am also going to lock the door so Mac doesn’t do the same thing to you.” Flushing the toilet you step back out of the room. John laughs as you lock the door and pull it shut tight.

Turning you find Nyla looking at you all concerned. By way of explanation, you say, “Jace busted in on John.”

She laughs with you at the absurdity of the situation and follows you back into the kitchen as you wash your hands and prepare to keep decorating a cake for a teenage birthday order. Their parent would be coming by in two hours for their delivery.

“I am going to visit with my boys.”

Your stomach tightened painfully at those words. The small smile you give her doesn’t mask the tension in your body. She pulls you into a motherly side hug, touching her head to yours before wandering from the kitchen. The front door opens and closes in near tandem with John stepping from the bathroom.

Fully clothed, steam billows around him as he shoves a bundle of clothes under one arm.

“That cake is the ugliest set of colors I have ever seen,” his brows nearly touch as he stares at the orange monstrosity sitting atop your counter.

“Oh I know but it’s only going to get worse,” you grab another container filled with your homemade frosting and begin to whip in a pale mint color.

“Worse?” John moves into the kitchen and around the counter to look down into the bowl you are using your hand mixer on. “Is that some kind of green?”

“Mint, but yes. Kid is turning thirteen and their two favorite colors are orange and mint. Mom wanted to combine both on the cake. Sent me reference photos and everything.” Turning off the hand mixer you set it to the side and ready your piping bag for a transfer. “Any fun plans today?”

John moves back around the kitchen island and settles both himself and his bundle of clothes onto a chair.

“I have a few stops I need to make but then will be back around lunch.” He is watching you as you spin your piping bag and start to drape strings of mint icing along the edge of the cake.

“Okay my mom will be here soon for the boys,” you glance at John as you tell him why, “She likes to take them to church.”

He pulls a face as he mutters, “Lovely.”

“I feel the same but if it keeps the peace and means she will take them on a weeknight too, I will allow it for now. I will probably use the time they are gone to deep clean the house before Simon and Johnny come over tomorrow.”

A scream from the backyard has you checking out the kitchen window to confirm no broken bones or blood, finding none you shift back to what you are doing.

“Do you clean because you’re stressed or because they are going to see more than the front room?” John lightly tapped his fingers against the counter, the sound barely traveling to your ears.

Sticking your tongue out in lieu of an answer John laughs. He rises as the knock sounds at the front door. Your mother comes in and chats with you a moment before collecting your boys who both give you a hug and a kiss before trailing out the door after grandma. John pokes his head into the kitchen to let you know he is leaving. And then you are alone.

Blasting music through the house you finish decorating, send a text to your client that she can pick up the cake any time before two pm, and set about cleaning the house. When Nyla reappears she jumps in by stripping all of the beds and starting the wash. By the time the boys and John appeared the house looked cleaner than it had been for Larsen’s wake. The scent of cleaning chemicals masked with lemon could be smelled in every room in the house.

Your pickup happens neatly at one, the mother gushing that the cake matches the vision and her kid is going to be so pleased. Nyla made sandwiches while you had finished cleaning the last bathroom. Sitting down at the table John announced that he would be sending both you and Nyla to a movie and then dinner.

“Are you sure you want to handle the boys?” They both grin up at you like innocent devils.

“We will have fun, won’t we boys?” John winks at them as they cheer.

At Nyla’s shrug, you accept the offer. A quick shower for yourself and the two of you were out the door, giggling at the thought of John managing the boys. The movie was your choice followed by Nyla’s pick of restaurant. Darkness had fallen by the time you both made your way through the garage and into the TV room.

Flung across the couch were three sleeping bodies. Jace slept sitting up against John. Mac rested his head against John’s thigh. John sat upright, head notched over the top of the couch and hands still gripping the controller for the game console that showed they had died again while playing Minecraft.

You lifted Jace first, fighting your way up the stairs with his body koala tight to you. Settling him in bed you turn and find a squinting John stepping into the room Mac wrapped around him. He settles your boy down with a gentle touch and even covers him to the chin with his blankets.

Waiting at the door, you pull it closed after John has slipped from the room.

“How were they tonight?” You whisper in the dark hallway.

“Good, we played board games, hide and seek, read some books, ate dinner, and then fell asleep playing video games.” His tone is even, steady beyond the sleep in his voice.

“Thanks for keeping them tonight John, it was nice to go out with Nyla.”

You can’t see what he does but his fingers find yours for one squeeze.

“They are good boys. I am happy to spend time with them and give you more time to get to know their grandmother,” he whispers back to you.

Tightening your fingers on his you fight the warm ball growing in your chest.

“Goodnight John.”

“Goodnight dove.”

A/N: The next chapter is The Talk™ 😬

Secrets Masterlist | Masterlist

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[maximumzombiecreator]

Do you often use random dungeon layout generators for your megadungeons? If so, how do you make those randomly generated layouts make sense as a space? I find that the eclectic nature of how the dungeon ends up looking makes it feel weird to consider the area as a real space instead of as the output to a random generator.

I use a lot of random generation when I make megadungeons, but I pretty much never use a layout generator. That's a solution to a different problem from the one that I have. Creating an assortment of rooms connected in random ways is pretty easy for me. The problem, as you note, is making the space engaging, making it make sense, making the connections logical but also interesting, etc.

But I do think random generation is a great way to juice your creativity! Getting external input that you then have to fit your ideas into often produces better results than just trying to create on a blank slate.

My most common random tools are roll tables for generating dungeon rooms and features. Worlds Without Number is the first book I reach for for most random tables, and it has some pretty solid tables for generating rooms, features in the rooms, connections, etc. I also have a bunch of tables saved from OSR blogs for generating interesting traps or dungeon features. Honestly just rolling for the number of exits a space has is one of the simplest ways to force myself to think creatively. When the dice tell me a bedroom has six exits, it means I need to re-evaluate what that bedroom is doing and I probably need to create some unusual exits.

I will use geomorphs sometimes. These are basically bespoke little fragments of dungeon created to be shuffled and combined randomly. Dyson Logos has a bunch of these, and I know @imsobadatnicknames2 has a bunch as well. These are good for creating a bunch of interesting connections and clever tiny bits that are great for finding interesting uses for. I've never used these to generate a whole dungeon, but for small fragments I really like them. I also have a set of them handy when I run a sandbox campaign in case the players somehow end up in a dungeon I didn't prep for at all.

Now, if you do want to use a randomly generated layout, whether from some tool, a dice generator, geomorphs, whatever, I have some advice for making sense of it: embrace the second occupant effect.

It's very common in dungeons that the people who built the dungeon and the current occupants are not the same group. It's an orcish ruin occupied by dwarves, it's an ancient temple being used as a bandit hideout, it's a wizard's keep overrun by demons, etc. The question that a random layout is going to have you asking is, "Why is this constructed this way?" and it's perfectly okay for the answer to be, "there's nobody left who knows." What was this big room with seven entrances built for? Well, nobody knows, but the goblins living there are using it as a dining hall.

If you're designing using this approach, you don't need an answer for every space. You can instead approach it the same way its new occupants did. Take it for granted that this is the space that exists, how would the new occupants use it? That weird room off to the side that's a pain to access? Well, who knows what it was built for, but it's cold storage now. This weird thoroughfare makes a perfectly good guard checkpoint. This big hole in the floor might have been used for casting spells at some point, but now it's a garbage dump. In this way, it's easy to come up with what rooms are now that doesn't require you to answer what a room was built for.

Using this approach, you still want to have good answers for what a room's original purpose was some of the time. If the space just never makes sense, players will stop trying to engage with it logically, and that's a big loss. Plus, using this effect most effectively, you get a lot of value out of knowing the previous purpose of a room. It can be easy for every kitchen to feel similar, but a kitchen that's been built on what used to be a foundry is instantly more interesting and easier to get creative with. But you get to pick and choose the parts of a random layout that look interesting, or that you have an easy time answering for, and make those the parts where the original purpose shines through. And then in the spaces where you're left saying, "What is with this snarl of hallways?" you can just have the answer be, "it's a mystery. Scholars theorize it served a ritual purpose."