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letterboxd · 4 years ago

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In Focus: Interstellar.

Inspired by Christopher Nolan’s Interstellar placing high across three notable Letterboxd metrics, Dominic Corry reflects on how the film successfully hung its messaging around the concept of love—and what pandemic responses worldwide could learn from its wholehearted embrace of empathetic science.

“Love isn’t something we invented. It’s observable, it’s powerful. It has to mean something.” —Dr. Amelia Brand (Anne Hathaway)

This story contains spoilers for ‘Interstellar’ (2014).

Although it is insultingly reductionist to both filmmakers, there are many reasons Christopher Nolan is often described as a modern-day Stanley Kubrick. The one most people usually settle on is the notion that both men supposedly make exacting, ambitious films that lack emotion.

It is an incorrect assessment of either director, but it’s beyond amazing that anyone could still accuse Nolan of such a thing after he delivered what is unquestionably his masterwork, the emotional rollercoaster that is 2014’s Interstellar.

In the epic sci-fi adventure drama, Nolan managed to pull off something that many filmmakers have attempted and few have achieved. He told a story of boundless sci-fi scope, and had it be all about love in the end. It sounds cheesy to even write it down, but Nolan did it.

That Interstellar is such an overtly cutting-edge genre film that chooses to center itself so brazenly and unapologetically around love, is frankly awesome.

Love informs Interstellar both metaphorically and literally: the expansive scope of the film effectively represents love’s infinite potential, and love itself ends up being the tangible thread that allows far-flung astronaut Cooper (Matthew McConaughey) to communicate with his Earth-bound daughter Murph (played as an adult by Jessica Chastain) from the tesseract (a three-dimensional rendering of a five-dimensional space) after Cooper enters the black hole towards the end of the film.

Matthew McConaughey as Joseph ‘Coop’ Cooper, Mackenzie Foy as Murph, and Timothée Chalamet as Tom.

In transmitting (via morse code) what the robot TARS has observed from inside the black hole, Cooper provides Murph with the data to solve the gravity problem required to uplift Earth’s population from its depleted home planet. Humanity is saved. Love wins again. Hard sci-fi goes soft. Christopher Nolan’s genius is confirmed, and any notions of emotionlessness are emphatically washed away.

This earnest centering of love in Interstellar is key to the film’s universal appeal, and undoubtedly plays a large role in why it features so prominently in three significant Letterboxd lists determined by pronoun: Interstellar is the only film that appears in all three top tens of “most fans on Letterboxd” when considering members who use the pronoun he/him, she/her and xe/ze. (“Most fans” refers to Letterboxd members who have selected the film as one of the four favorites on their profile.)

To get a bit reductionist myself, sci-fi adventure—in cinema, at least—has traditionally been a masculine-leaning genre, but Interstellar’s placement across these three lists points to it having superseded that traditional leaning, hopefully for the better.

Yet the film reliably still provokes reactions like this delightful tweet:

few movies make me as mad as Interstellar. who the fuck makes 3/4 of an excellent hard sci-fi movie backed up by actual science and then abruptly turns it into soft sci-fi about how the power of love and time traveling bookshelves can save us in the final 1/4? damn you, Nolan

— the thicc husband & father (@lukeisamazing)

February 13, 2021

Although this tweet is somewhat indicative of how many men (and women, for that matter) respond to the film, I think it’s pretty clear the writer actually loves Interstellar wholeheartedly, final quarter and all, but perhaps feels inhibited from expressing that love by the expectations of a gendered society that is becoming increasingly outdated. The “damn you, Nolan” is possibly a concession of sorts—he’s damning how Nolan really made him feel the love at the end. It’s okay, @lukeisamazing, you don’t have to say it out loud.

Conversely, it can be put like this:

“The emotion of Interstellar is three-fold: Nolan’s script, co-written with his brother as with all his best stuff, masters not only notions of black holes, wormholes, quantum data and telemetry, but it also makes a case for love as the one thing—feeling, fact, movement, message—that can mean more and do more than anyone in our current time, on our existing planet, can comprehend.”

The writer of this stirring summation, our own Ella Kemp, is paraphrasing a critical section of the film, when Nolan goes full literal on the concept of love and has Cooper and Dr Amelia Brand (Anne Hathaway) debate its very nature, quoted in part at the top of this story. It comes when the pair are trying to decide which potentially humanity-saving planet to use their dwindling fuel reserves to travel to. Brand is advocating for the planet where a man she loves might be waiting for her, instead of the planet that has ostensibly better circumstances for life.

Brand: “Love is the one thing we’re capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space. Maybe we should trust that even if we can’t understand it.”

“Love has meaning, yes,” responds Cooper, heretofore the film’s most outwardly love-centric character, exhibiting a stoic longing for his dead wife, while also abandoning his ten-year-old daughter on Earth for a space adventure (albeit one designed to save humanity) than has now inadvertently taken decades. “Social utility. Social bonding. Child rearing.” Ouch.

McConaughey with Anne Hathaway as Dr. Amelia Brand.

Brand: “You love people who have died. Where’s the social utility in that? Maybe it means something more. Something we don’t yet understand. Some evidence, some artefact of a higher dimension that we can’t consciously perceive. I’m drawn across the universe to someone I haven’t seen in a decade who I know is probably dead. Love is the one thing we’re capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space. Maybe we should trust that even if we can’t understand it yet.” Amen.

Cooper remains unconvinced by Brand’s rationale, but this dispassionate display presages him going on to realize the true (literal) power of love (and his poor, science-only decision-making—thanks Matt Damon) when it provides him the aforementioned channel of communication with Murph in the tesseract. Nolan has a female character make the most eloquent vocal argument for love, but it’s the male character who has to learn it through experience.

So while Interstellar does initially conform to some prevailing cultural ideas about love and how it supposedly relates to gender, it ultimately advocates for a greater appreciation of the concept that moves beyond such binary notions. That is reflected in how important the film is to Letterboxd members who self-identify as he/him, she/her and xe/ze. We all love this movie. Emphasis on love.

Brand’s speech—not to mention the film as a whole—also can’t help but inform the current global situation. Interstellar argues for a greater devotion to both science and love, in harmony; such devotion might have mitigated the devastating effects of the coronavirus pandemic where both concepts were drastically undervalued by many of those in charge of the response.

Jessica Chastain and Casey Affleck as the grown-up Cooper siblings.

Despite the reactions cited above, responses to Interstellar aren’t always split down gender lines. We’re all allowed to feel whatever we like about it, and substantial variety comes across in the many, many reviews for the film.

Zaidius says Interstellar is so good that, “after watching [it], you will want to downgrade all of the ratings you have ever given on Letterboxd.”

On the other hand, Singlewhitefemalien takes issue with Dr. Brand’s aforementioned love-based decision-making in her two-star review: “She wants to fuckin’ go to Planet Whatever to chase after a dude she banged ten years ago because women are guided by their emotions and love is all you need.” A perhaps fair assessment of the role Nolan chose his sole female astronaut to play in the film?

Sam offers food for thought when he writes “First, you love Interstellar; then you understand Interstellar.”

Letterboxd stalwart Lucy boils it down effectively in one of her multiple five-star reviews of the film: “I needed a really good cry.” It’s hard to say whether Vince is agreeing or disagreeing with Lucy in his review: “Fuck you Matthew McConaughey for making me cry.” The catharsis this movie provides for dudes becomes clearer the deeper you venture into our Interstellar reviews (and I ventured deep): “How dare this fucking movie make me cry… twice,” writes John. Let it out, John.

Then there’s Rudi’s take: “I sobbed like an animal while watching this but I’m not exactly sure what animal it was like. Like a pig? Like a whale? I don’t know but I do know that I cried a whole fucking lot.”

Emotionless? With all this crying?

Christopher Nolan inspires more debate than any other filmmaker of the modern age (when we’re not getting unnecessarily riled up about something Marty has said, that is) and while Nolan has the passionate devotion of millions of viewers, I’d argue he still doesn’t quite get his due. Especially when it comes to Interstellar.

By so successfully using love as both a metaphorical vessel and a palpable plot point in a sci-fi adventure film, he built on notable antecedents like James Cameron’s The Abyss and Robert Zemeckis’ Contact, two (great) films with similar aspirations that didn’t stick the landing as well as Interstellar does. In Contact, McConaughey engages in a similar debate about love to the one quoted above, but notably takes the opposing side.

Steven Spielberg (who at one point was going to direct an earlier iteration of Interstellar) did a pretty good job of showing love as the most powerful force in the universe with E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, but there hasn’t been a huge amount of room for such notions in the genre since then.

Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey, Interstellar’s most obvious forebear, is often accused of being the director’s most brazenly emotionless film. And while that’s perhaps a bit more understandable than some of the brickbats hurled Nolan’s way, there’s more emotion in the character of Hal 9000 than in many major directors’ entire oeuvre. It’s also, in part due to Hal’s place in the examination of queer consciousness in the sci-fi realm, the film currently in the number one spot on the xe/ze list.

Two films that notably exist in Interstellar’s wake are Denis Villeneuve’s Arrival, which expands upon Interstellar’s creative use of time-bending (and like Contact, features a female protagonist) and James Gray’s Ad Astra, which tackles the perils of traditional masculinity with more directness.

Interstellar doesn’t solve the sci-fi genre’s cumbersome relationship with masculinity and gender, but it makes significant strides in breaking down the existing paradigms, if only from all the GIFs of McConaughey crying it has spawned. Its appeal across the gender spectrum is an interesting and encouraging sign of the universality of its themes. And the power of love.

Fans out of touch with their feelings may complain about the role love plays in the film, but that says more about them than it does the film. Love wins. Also: TARS. How could anyone not love TARS?

TARS and Christopher Nolan.

Related content

Men/Boys Crying: a master list

“I Ugly-Cried Like Matthew McConaughey in Interstellar”: Amanda’s list

“I Liked Interstellar”: Sar’s list of what to watch afterwards

Follow Dominic on Letterboxd

#interstellar #christopher nolan #2001 a space odyssey #stanley kubrick #letterboxd #science fiction #sci fi #sci fi film #sci fi movies #queer consciousness #the meaning of life #love

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tothestarsandbackmoved · 4 years ago

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Rant about interstellar

i have before but ill do it again!

interstellar touches me for many many reasons.

first off, the entire premise and setting and the world building in it. the dust storms, the failing crops. the protagonist does say at one point- "humanity was born on earth. they were never meant to stay here" and that just,,, hits me you know? presently we've seen the emergence of no human exploration besides the probes and the ISS. there are plans but the same curiosity just seems dead. interstellar stretches that and shows us what would happen when human curiosity and the desire to explore would die. we'd kill everyone on the planet and soon starve ourselves. the blights- the illnesses- the dead medicare- that's a very bleak future, but a very real one. the movie does both its part about scaring the viewer about it- as well as giving us hope about wormholes and quantum data and singularities and how we'd save ourselves. you can see that the old generation is talking about their days and how better or worse it would be. in the end, on the cooper satellites, you see the interviews being played- and it really breaks me. that was a generation that thought it was the end. the end of human life. the final descent and that was it. and then they see the five dimensions and getting lifted and their lives are essentially turned around. this isn't just the older people though. we see that the gen z then, like cooper's son have also mostly been brought up to *live*. we see that he tries to get into school and actually get into uni and find a job in one of the remaining sectors of the world which still offer something other than farm corn- raise family. You see that the teachers also say this? they teach them to fight blights and sustain crops because they’re losing more and more to disease each year. Humanity’s slowly being packed up and demolished and they aren’t seeing it coming. at all.

then there’s the quote which is recurring throughout the movie:

“do not go gentle into the good night”

the professor says this all the time. as they’re leaving- his last few dying words- as they’re preparing. and you know what? i’ll say it. this is where the next important theme comes in. Desperation. When he initially sends them out- he hasn’t solved gravity yet, and he knows he never will. Not without the quantum data from a black hole- something again, he can never get. Which is why he implies that there’s a Plan B and cooper can see murphy again (this is also very important- scroll down for this). He breaks all their trust- and he knows he’ll die before seeing the end of the mission- and you can’t die with guilt, not really. He knows that he can’t be held accountable because he’s dead. He’s well aware that his plan is a hail mary- and it wouldn’t have worked anyways. He’s counting on Plan B, and that’s all there is to it. He uses the quote as a reminder to himself- because he’s torn too. He isn’t inherently evil, at all. He’s the precarious thread the entire mission dangles by- but he’s willing to risk that too. He’ll be long, long dead before humanity dies- or moves- and this is his last try.

Now for the second part of this quote. As I talked about before- the quote feels more like a reminder to himself- and not actually something that inspires hope in the crewmates. But ironically, it ends up becoming what guides murph. As the professor is dying, she tells him “you’ve been doing this with both your arms tied behind your back”- that’s actually when she finds out about his whole plan. This is the failure of the professor- but at the same time, it becomes the moment he passes the torch to murph. The professor died, knowingly sending his own daughter into the reaches of space. He prioritized his need to save humanity over the love for his own daughter. But, murph isn’t like that. When she finds out about this, she remembers the promise her dad made to her.

“I’ll be back when you’re the age I am now”

and now, she knows he’s lied. But he hasn’t done it on purpose. and she understands that. She makes it HER goal that they don’t go gentle into the good night. She knows that this is probably futile, but she’s going to try. and she’s not going to try thinking that she’ll probably fail- like the professor did (in resignation for plan B)- she’s going to try to bring cooper back.

Third, coming back to desperation. A bold, bold act of desperation is what dr mann did. (I have some qualms about the actor playing estranged astronauts- anyways). Him sending out that sensor- knowing that it will bring humans back to him, while simultaneously jeopardizing the entire mission, and possibly the fate of humanity. He knows what he has done- but he has gone insane alone- and he’d betray his entire cause to see a human face again. This movie really says something about what humans are willing to do. On one hand, you have a woman who singlehandedly saves them all- for human love, and on the other, a man who is willing to commit genocide (that’s what i think it is, dont ask) to see someone else. He messes up everything, deliberately, and goes from “the greatest and bravest man to walk the earth” to a “cold and desperate villain”. This theme has a lot to do with what is happening right now too. Forgive the activism, but we do have people who knowingly exploit and burn and ravage the earth, for their own good- and they’re insane to the point that they genuinely can’t see right from wrong. Sure, you could argue that he was motivated by the need to preserve your own life. But if you give his cause *any* context, you see how wrong he is. This is flailing human desperation, pure and simple.

Now, approaching the themes that actually make it as good as it is. Dr Brand is easily my favourite character in the movie. We get to see her as a brilliant scientist initially, and her arc- is perfect, honestly. For example, take the wormhole handshake- as their going through interdimensional space- where time isn’t linear and your brain gets fried if you try to comprehend it- she recognizes a *being* in that space. If you recall that scene, she reaches out, and meets *them*- someone she knows is otherworldly and entirely above humans (we later learn it is Cooper in the matrix- and i have things to say about that too) and makes contact. She suggests, as both a human- and a scientist- that it may be love that transcends dimensions. She makes first contact with beings that may be their salvation- or destruction- and i think that is definitely the peak of human existence.

She argues that love may be what connected the crew to higher dimensions, and I'll dare to say that she’s right. Love is what made Cooper try to contact murph. Love is what made them dare to save humans. Love was what got her there. She tells them to go to Edmund's planet- not just because she loves him, but because she also makes relevant points AND her gut. It might be stretching it to say that was why she was right- but it is worth introspection. Dr Brand represents the best of humanity and she does carry it, doesn’t she? She settles on the planet for ‘the long nap’ in the end. She tries to save everyone- like on the mountain planet- and she loves. She hopes and she trusts and is unwaveringly honest and courageous. This could become a Dr Brand stan blog for all I care.

Moving on

We have the ‘them’. These are the mysterious threads that tie all parts of the movie together. A black hole to a little girl’s bookshelf. Worlds galaxies apart. A very important thing to note here is that the characters recognize that this is humanity, just very, very far out. And most importantly, wise. This is a civilization who has surpassed the ordinary dimensions, and *mortal* time. They could’ve easily saved all of humanity and given them the planet they were looking for. But their entire ineffable plan, and only putting things where they were needed- was what made them greater than just someone who helps others. Only being able to get binary signals through an intergalactic wormhole, building bookshelves that become a huge metaphor for humanity trying to claw at knowledge- and actually slowly pushing the books forward. The ‘them’ weren’t ordinary humans at all. They definitely hinted and gave me a brief, fickle glance beyond what humans could be- raw possibilities.

Then, we have cooper. This makes it hard to write for him- and do his character justice- but I will try. His character, essentially, is brought down to selflessness, love, a brutal, brutal sense of humour- and the courage- the heavy, heavy courage to sacrifice himself. He’s also the polar opposite of what Dr mann stands for.

His first important point- in my opinion- is when the movie is starting. I didn’t walk in expecting this from him, not really. You see a dying earth- and this man is (alone in his fight, NASA doesn’t count yet) fighting the system alone. He fights for his son, tries for his father in law, and then the most important relationship- his daughter. He’s seeing an earth where not even *children* are curious, or willing, or interested in anything greater. He sees this in his daughter, though. Hence, the bookshelf- the gravity, and the plain curiosity.

I’ll dare to say that at this point, humanity’s a dying, dying flame. And what he sees in his daughter, what we see in his daughter, is a rebirth of potential. She has the human spark, so to speak. He sees that, and he makes promises, and is willing to bring the world to its knees to protect her. And he knows he might not be there when Murph burns strong, and bright, and becomes the saviour of humanity- but he hopes. An important element is the promise, which I mentioned earlier, but it defines their relationship. The promise that he’ll be back when they’re the same age. They both know that it’s not true. They can see the lie, but that promise also empowers them to do what they did when their paths diverge.

Cooper goes to Mann's planet with the vague hope that he’ll be back in time. Murph does most of what she does because she thinks that it’ll bring her father back. Even towards the end, when Cooper willingly jumps into gargantua, a supermassive black hole- which is the literal heart of darkness, he does it in the attempt to save his daughter, and hopes she can get the quantum data at the cost of his life.

About Murph, we mostly see her through the eyes of Cooper in the beginning. A curious and lovable and stubborn tween who just wants to grow up with her dad and do their science experiments. Her perseverance is phenomenal- she loses her dad despite her warnings and asking- and realizes that her loss is something undefinable, but there. In a way, she grows to understand both her responsibility and her part to play, and why her father did what he did. The ‘ghost’ is another plot device- a mysterious figure who messes with the gravity and knocks her books down. And she sees a message there. She tells him about ‘don’t go’ and i can’t begin to describe how beautifully poetic and heartbreaking it is that they realize the significance of that at the same time, and how it ties together. It is hard for me to fathom that scene really- cooper is in an interdimensional matrix, inside a supermassive black hole, and he tries to tell his daughter two things. (a) trying to stop himself from going out and on the mission, which he knows is deemed to fail and (b) sending the quantum data, because that is what mattered in the end, anyways. The ghost comes full circle- and also says what he had to say, when it was most important. And for those who’ve seen the movie, i just really have to put this quote out there:

‘It was you. It was always you. You were my ghost, dad’

And in that, the movie completes itself. It talks about unfailing love, the peak and fall of humanity, and the potential of curiosity.

In this essay I will...

#nasa #interstellar #christopher nolan #did i spend an hour writing this and loved every second of it? yes #nanowrimo #i think it does count as an entry its over 2000 words #thanks for the ask #tw rant #mango pickle

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dvarapala · 4 years ago

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Yearly Checkup

new year self-love! list some lines and pieces about your muse(s) from 2020 that you enjoyed writing. multis make sure to tag “who” each quote belongs to!

From headcanons/metas:

i really liked writing the one about her house.

it’s an edit, sure, but it counts as a headcanon.

this headcanon about udyati & her mom celebrating high tide days.

From threads:

she beamed at noelani. “i still don’t know, you know,” udyati murmured after she promised she’d ask shere khan about the books as soon as she physically could. “i think he’s a weretiger, but i’m not sure. and i also think it’s kinda rude to just spring that onto someone like that. so i never really asked.” a beat, and then: “do you think i should?” (x)

“you should never be ashamed to have it all,” he says, and she has no idea how they ended up here, conversation wise, because harry swung by to see the old tiger - his words, not hers - and she’d told him that shere khan’s stepped out and that big murph told her that she should tell her stories at club crossover. udyati had declined, ever so gently, citing stage fright. (x)

udyati smiled at minako’s smile. soft and dreamy and adorable. “oh, wow. that’s relatable. that’s almost too relatable.” because that’s udyati in a nutshell too. “you know what? it wouldn’t surprise me if they did. i mean, it wouldn’t surprise me if sailor v inspired a song like that.” then she lowered her voice. “you’re very inspirational, you know?” (x)

udyati beamed, and then she nodded at wild. she’s right. maybe meeting someone new would help her heart heal. “yes please. otherwise i’ll just leave it as is, and judging from the look on your face, i don’t think that’s the right call.” (x)

“i love dogs!” well, thing is, udyati loves a lot of animals. “amma’s allergic, though, so we don’t have pets.” also, amma’s at work a lot, and udyati has school stuff to focus on, so they wouldn’t really have time anyway. but, dang, if she wouldn’t love to have a four legged friend of her own! udyati beams at reese, regardless. “tell me, was it a really fluffy dog?!” (x)

tagged by: @tempportal (thank you!) tagging: you

#//sdhfuidiu this was a lot #//but i'm glad i did it xD #outofdoors #queue.

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ofmurphys · 5 years ago

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✰ –– hero coffee roasters. 2pm, on a tuesday.

this bitch wants a frappu-fuckin’-ccino. murphy blinks and pastes on a smile. jesus. fake-owning this shithole’s getting real old these days. “ oh, hun, of course i can improvise that sugar rush for you. don’t even fret it. we totally keep vats of that fake java just lying around. ” honestly, murph can’t tell what’s worse –– the fact that this cardboard cutout vsco girl even asked, or the fact that she actually believes her.

hero coffee roasters loses a customer that day. as the doorbell jingles shut with the force of the girl’s slam, murphy pops a redhot into her mouth and chews. does nothing to hide her growing smirk. yeah, yeah.

good riddance.

or alternatively : hey demons, it’s me, ya gurl ! back at it again with my very snakey shadow gorl. click that read more to learn about this gorgeous amoral piece of ass. i’m trying out a new intro format, so... bear with me ! i hope y’all enjoy, and pls hmu on discord for plots !

murph is... straight up trouble. so if you want drama ? you want bullshit & compulsive lies ? you want ill-founded rage with no apologies later ? you’ve come to the right place .

this is the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world . . . just kidding. murphy berman doesn’t shed tears for shit.

— && guests may mistake me as ( zoe kravitz ), but really i am ( murphy berman + cisfemale + she/her ) and my DOB is ( 11/7/1994 ). i am a ( “ coffee shop owner ” ) and would like to stay in suite ( 306 ). i won’t be much of a bother because i am ( + cunning & fierce ), but i can also be ( - acetous & cutthroat ) at times. personally, i like to ( code, flick gum wrappers at pigeons, bring my pet turtle to the movies, sit back and watch shit burn ) when i have the time to relax, and my favorite snack is ( those purple doritos, y'know. chili or whatever the fuck ) to have in my suite. thank you for checking in !

i n s p o .

coffee shop –– hero coffee roasters.

pinterest.

soundcloud –– soul sounds.

soul anthem.

b a c k d r o p . ( tw: drug mentions, alcoholic tendencies, alcohol, crime, allusions to domestic violence, violence, murder. )

2am, bar’s closed. but braids still sits, forearms draped atop the counter, shades askew. as you restock new handles, she raises a finger, like she might say something, then pours herself another bourbon. cutting her off is the least of your worries –– it doesn’t take a genius to tell this cookie can handle her own. and the shit she’s spewing ? something tells you this has never been aired before.

“ so picture the fuck outta this, bub. ” a swig. “ you’re born and before you even got the wherewithal to speak, you’re shipped off to some graham cracker family in the ‘ burbs. you start leapfrogging –– my term, tee-em –– ” a tattooed finger traces the symbol into the air accordingly. “ and after a while, it’s a game. hop a house, stay a while, see how much of their shit you can pocket. ” nostalgic sighs accompany a litany of stolen goods : cash. jewelry. first edition tetris game, hand-fuckin’-held. the hoopers’ prized gold kazoo.

don’t believe her ? onto black marble slides proof.

“ then you land. hard. the fuckin’ landry’s. ” a scornful chuckle. “ miss me with that white picket fence ass shit. but they get you your first comp, so... when they ask to adopt you, you’re like. i dunno, man. sure, i guess ? and guess wrong. ” turns out the landry’s aren’t as warm or welcoming as they claim. their youngest kid dies, freak accident. monkey bars. “ family falls apart worse than that time you tried to make a ball from fresh cigarette ash. you were eleven. ” tattooed over the scar.

braids tells you ‘bout the party being over. the bruising. but she laughs through it, rolls her eyes like she’s talking ‘bout silly old friends instead of terrible old people.

her birth mother finds her. they meet up a few times in a local park, whisks her away when she’s twelve. is it kidnapping ? technically, who gives a fuck. they lived low. under the radar. in apartments above dive bars. spent a summer breaking into parked cars. finally landed with j.j., who turned out to just be a glorified drug mule.

“ new york was fine to me. y’know, fucked off in school. kid shit. ” she shrugs. you won’t know it, but she’ll astutely sidestep the fact that she hacked her first global system at 14. she won’t mention she started accepting paypal offers from obscure reddit threads two weeks later. by 17, she was contracting independently –– a business venture, she’d tell her high school counselor, assigned to keep her from winding up on the streets.

matty, her best friend since the move to new york, decided to kiss her silly after trying shrooms. she liked it. told him maybe he could do that more often.

“ he cleaned up, ” braids purses her lips. “ after high school. stopped messing with his crowd. our crowd. ” she grabs two stirrers from a container dangerously close to your hand. taps ‘em on the counter like she’s stomping out mini fires. “ let him put a ring on me. y’know make bey proud. ”

she won’t mention that while matty gets a job as a cook at a bougie french restaurant, she continued to deal with devils. woman in her high castle. under the guise of cpu-based tetris and a whole lot of freelance web design.

but then roosevelt savings bank gets robbed. and they somehow trace the ip back to her.

it’s an easy mishap to shake. showed ‘em the websites. the code. the computer usage logs. the blues believe her, but matty...

“ trust issues. sad, huh ? thought i was fucking around behind his back. ” with criminals.

“ and then shit gets good, homie. we’re tasting stupid fucking cake. red velvet... ” cue a laugh. bitter. the stirrers stop tapping. “ then i meet aamina and everything goes to shit. i brought it up, you know. like. hey, your fiancée might be a little bit into pussy. ”

for the first time all night, her eyes meet yours. and it’s only then you realize... there’s some heavy fuckin’ sadness swimming in those baby browns. worlds pass through them. alternative stories –– where matty wasn’t high. where he didn’t reach for the knife.

“ he lost it. ” silence. she looks away. “ anyway. ” she launches into why chicago –– why she studied pre-law for two years before tossing in the towel. because “ fuck a judge, man. ” and she’s into the finer things in life. ( she struck you as an arts type. what with the glasses. the vintage band tee worn like a dress. maybe you get a glimmer of pride knowing you were right. she won’t mention that the whole thing’s a farce. )

she launches into why a coffee shop. she’ll tell you the beautiful thing about coffee is it takes no shit. she’ll tell you owning a place gets fuckin’ wild, but she’s in it for the free java and coffee-themed booze. a perk all hourly baristas like her enjoy. “ and we made that top list or whatever. of fly places here. an honor. i’d like to thank god, and also jesus. which i hope you know are my boys bazzi and frank ocean. ”

you’ll google hero coffee roasters later. and find its registered owner goes by brian tubolino. but hey, maybe she’s married.

when braids finally decides it’s time to go, sunlight’s nipping at chicago’s heels.

“ you chill if i ... ? ” before you can answer, she’s takin’ a swig straight from the half-finished bottle of bourbon. picks it up and cradles it under one arm, precious cargo.

“ souvenir, man. in remembrance of you. ”

#intro.#✰ –– don't punish the tiger for taking its prey ! inspo.#✰ –– so ugly but you love me ! she speaks.

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onestowatch · 5 years ago

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The Wombats' Matthew Murphy on Picasso, “Black Mirror,” and Solo Project, Love Fame Tragedy [Q&A]

After 17 years at the helm of the English indie rock band The Wombats, Matthew "Murph" Murphy decided it was time for a change. In a two year span, The Wombats toured with The Rolling Stones, Weezer and The Pixies, released their fourth studio album Beautiful People Will Ruin Your Life and made sure to hit up all the spots on the festival circuit this summer. When he wasn't on the road, Murph was spending time in Los Angeles – ultimately moving there from London – and working on new material that didn't quite fit The Wombats' mold. He played a little of what he calls "contact list roulette," recruiting musical collaborators to work with him in the studio on some new songs. And that's where Love Fame Tragedy was born – the solo project sees Murphy exploring different musical avenues and creating an entirely new sound. "I just wanted to try something new," Murphy said in a statement. "Something that didn't involve any politics." He found inspiration for the name after visiting a Picasso exhibition at the Tate Modern in London. "It triggered a lot of things," he said, "and a lot of songs flew out after that." Love Fame Tragedy finds Murphy joined by a cast of companions, including The Pixies' Joey Santiago, Alt-J's Gus Unger-Hamilton and former Soundgarden and Pearl Jam drummer Matt Chamberlain. The singles had been trickling out slowly all summer, but, at long last, we have the full EP.

I spoke with Murphy over the phone a few days before the EP dropped. We chatted about the project, as well as drawing inspiration from the likes of Picasso, moving to LA and Black Mirror. Get a look inside Murphy's solo project, Love Fame Tragedy, and make sure to check out his debut EP, I Don’t Want To Play The Victim, But I’m Really Good At It.

OTW: Let’s talk about the name “Love Fame Tragedy." I understand you saw a Picasso exhibit and were inspired by one of the paintings. What in particular inspired you?

MM: Whenever I have days off, I go to museums or try to get some inspiration in some form. I saw this Picasso exhibition and it was so hilariously dark because, you know, the whole premise behind “Love Fame Tragedy” is him painting his mistress out of town whilst his wife is in Paris and he’s in the countryside… it’s pretty dark shit. I was also looking for something that had, like, a looping kind of comic feeling, which I think “Love Fame Tragedy” does. I think [the paintings] are kind of linked, and one leads into another. I just liked it. Before I knew it, I’d completely ripped off a Picasso exhibition and that was the name of the band.

OTW: When I first saw the name, I couldn’t help but think of The Wombats’ debut, A Guide to Love, Loss, and Desperation. You certainly have a thing with threes.

MM: Yeah, I do. Well, three’s a very powerful number, apparently.

OTW: Both the sound and the music videos have been pretty experimental for this project. What was the songwriting process like?

MM: The songwriting process for me is the same as it’s always been. It’s just me trying to excite myself. For this project, I’m working with this one guy Tyler Cunningham. He lives in LA. He and I are doing the videos and doing all the artwork together. It’s exciting to be creating this long thread, which I’ve never really done on an album before. It’s always different directors for this, the label wants to do that, whereas this is very much streamlined. It just means I can be a bit more creative and clever with artwork, videos, and general content.

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OTW: LA is such a creative hub; almost everyone there is a transplant. What are some things you’ve gotten from immersing yourself in the city?

MM: LA’s been such a special place for me. I met my wife and had a baby there. The essence of collaboration that’s running through the water there is important. I’ve been inspired by that. That’s why I’ve had other people guest on this record, and I just feel 10-15 percent happier there. It’s a very New Age-y place, and that kind of rubs off on you. I just feel like happiness and sadness are really conducive to creativity, but happiness even more, so I’m really thankful for LA for providing me with that.

OTW: You mentioned all the different guests on the record. You’ve worked with some iconic names like Joey Santiago (The Pixies) and Matt Chamberlain (Pearl Jam). How did having all those different minds working together impact your thought process?

MM: It was all pretty chilled out. Me and Joey played golf beforehand; we kind of bonded on the Weezer/Pixies tour and I said, “Do you want to come to the studio?” And that’s what he did. There wasn’t too much overthinking. Collaborating with people and making new friends all the time is a much better existence than locking yourself in a room in London and writing for ten hours a day like I used to.

OTW: I loved how you let the songs trickle in slowly, kind of building the anticipation for the full EP. MM: I didn’t really decide to do it that way (laughs) I wanted to make a Love Fame Tragedy album, and all I’ve been doing is writing the songs, getting them recorded and being happy with them. But I am excited about the way it’s coming out. It’s exciting for me. There are going to be two EPs and then an extra handful of songs, which will all make one big, pretty long album at the end of it, next year. But it is fun doing EPs because you can treat everything like a mini album; everything’s got its own title, its own artwork. It’s kind of a cool way of doing it and a way I was happy to go along with. It just seems like a much more exciting way to do things.

OTW: You performed some of the new songs at the Reading Festival. What was that experience like? MM: It was horrendous! (laughs) Everything went wrong. It was a baptism of fire. It was kind of amazing that that happened because every show since then has been so great and so strong and exciting. I think we got all of the bad juju out. It wasn’t that bad a gig, I just had no guitar for the whole thing so it was just really weird. The other guys were great. We had the voice and we had the rest of the band. We just didn’t have my guitar, which was pretty interesting. But people seemed to like it.

OTW: I feel like sometimes happy accidents like that help you grow as a band.

MM: I think so. I mean, I’d met the guys way before that, but it was definitely a real bonding experience.

OTW: What do you hope your fans will get out of these live performances?

MM: Same reason I write music: I just like to make a connection with someone, and want them to feel something. That’s kind of all I do. There’s no dramatic or political statements or anything I’m massively pedaling. They’re just confessional songs and I hope they hit people the way some of them have hit me.

OTW: I think the subject matter in the songs resonates with a lot of people. Like in “My Cheating Heart,” I noticed themes of self-indulgence, materialism, temptation… love, fame AND tragedy all kind of combined into one explosion of a song. “Backflip” kind of reminded me of modern dating.

MM: “My Cheating Heart” is about a state of anxiety, really, and a lot of things that I felt when I first moved to Los Angeles and how I dealt with it… or didn’t deal with it. And “Backflip,” I guess, is about modern dating. I feel like that’s more so because of the video and the visuals and things.

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OTW: Very Black Mirror-ish.

MM: Yeah, it’s completely ripped off from “Metalhead!” I had the idea for all these shifting shapes, or whatever, which apparently is an idea people had a few years ago. I just said to the director, Watch ‘Metalhead’… can we just make it look like that?” I think we did a pretty good job.

OTW: Hey, Quentin Tarantino says he steals from every movie ever made, so don’t feel bad.

MM: (laughs) Oh no, I don’t feel bad!

OTW: What other themes do you think you’ll explore with this process?

MM: A lot of the songs are barking up the same tree I’ve always barked up. Problems with relationships… maybe relationships are like a metaphor for me having problems with the outside world? I don’t know. When I find them, I’ll be sure to explore them.

OTW: Before we go, who are your Ones to Watch?

MM: I really like Emily King. Me, my wife and daughter listen to her every morning. I think she’s pretty special.

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#matthew murphy #the wombats #interview #alternative #pop #indie rock #love fame tragedy #I don't want to play the victim but I'm really good at it

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cvckroach-a-blog · 7 years ago

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so, this is my attempt at a THANK YOU to the hundred of those who chose to follow me ?? who signed up to see my stupidity writing on their dash. a hundred might not seem like many to some, but i really didn’t expect to get that far at all. not when i first tried to move my love for this kid over here and attempt to write with a new set of people. so this is my thanks for taking a chance on me and making that possible !! i’ve made some amazing connections in the short time that i’ve been here and i can’t wait to build on the complex character that is murphy and make even more connections and friendships while i’m at it !! so again, thank you for letting me do it.

☼ — SPECIAL THANKS

@prodrcmus ; an actual queen. i truly don’t think i would’ve even been able to get started if it weren’t for you? i’ve told you once, and i’ll tell you again. i tried to get this account going before — but it wasn’t until i met you on another platform and then gave this account another shot that it became a reality. and it’s not only that, but you’ve shown me that you actually care for me ?? we may not talk often, but you’re there to help show me the ropes — advice on which paths to take, and i am extremely grateful for that. ( also all your threads and writing are great?? )

@xnctafraid ; flawless. f l a w l e s s. you were another one of the first to really take me in as well. you didn’t hesitate to message me, plot with me, and even blessed me with an amazing thread with you ?? still, i don’t know w h y, but i am so glad for that. i know i suck at replying, but i’m trying to live up to our idea of rping until we’re 99. ( also, you survived my stupid questions. bless. ) i really do love you, though. thank you:’)

@thebvdguys ; wowza. where do i even start lmao okay — first of all !! can i just say how crazy it is how fast the two of us connected? we hit it off from the start and i’m so so SO happy for that. you’re probably the closest relationship i’ve built on here yet, which is so great ?? not only is your writing unbelievably beautiful ( don’t get me started. i’m really trying not to write a novel here. ) but YOU are unbelievably beautiful. also, i can scream to you about the universe and spiritual shit, which is nice. long story short, i love you. i need to stop here before i can’t.

@surviivorforged ; i’m SO glad you showed up in my messages and asked to follow me. you’re such a good murphy and it makes me so happy to be friends with you so we can share the love and adoration for murph that we both have:’) and not only are we twins bc murphy, we ended up discovering that we’re actually a lot alike in general?? which is honestly amazing. i really love talking to you and what we have going with bexley and murphy just melts my heart. you’re honestly helping me build her so much and wowow thank you:’)

@griffins-blakes ; i was writing with you over messenger long before i switched over here !! i know we don’t talk often, but i always find myself craving more and more of the plots that we had. don’t think for a second that because we don’t talk often that i don’t appreciate you:’)

☾ — PEOPLE I CAN’T WAIT TO CONTINUE WRITING + BUILDING WITH

@omousvarii // @valleyborn + @crimiinalchemiist // @foxofthe100 // @shxcklash // @theviperous // @brckenmartyr // @reivcn // @goldheartcriminals ( all of them! ) // @poisonedribs // @criminalmiind // @violentiams // @warshipped // @tostxyalive // @motherbuilt // @waldenborn // @natblidayongon // @cosmicfell // @groundrisen + @novaburnt // @pinkskcrts // @sandwrought // @belladonnc

☆ — PEOPLE I ADMIRE FROM AFAR + WANT TO GET SOMETHING GOING WITH

@soldiierbuilt // @jobikilled // @slashesthroats + @destroysworlds // @tothedevilsshow // @headstrongblake // @spiritkeepcr // @holiistichcro // @saviorbuilt // @mcthersguilt // @algaenotwar // @portectorisms // @faultedleader // @skaifiisa // @queenv // @icebitxh // @fauxprotector // @fatecrossed // @frikdreinakru // @icexbcrn // @candyvixlets // @friikdreina // @loyaltybuilt // @unholywxrs // @anditsxsorrows

THANK YOU EVERYONE !!

i’m sorry to anyone i either left out or simply forgot to add !! ( i’m highly forgetful, so it’s vv possible ) but, i just wanted to say thank you to literally everyone who decided to give me the time of day, on the list or not.

#thank you x100 #it's really great and aaaa #i'm really happy #this is a mess

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fire-and-swan · 3 years ago

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Aaaalrighty. Episode four! It's truly turning into an Oddyssey.

I realised today what's been throwing me most about this season. It's Ally and Murph's hair. I'm fairly sure I'm not face blind, but the disconnect between voices and their new hair cuts is throwing me for a loop.

Thoughts ongoing:

500 credits for chef's stuff? This is going to be so bad, but props to Ally for just bolstering their ability to go to the casino and achieve whatever that's going to be.

So many insight checks. This is not a good sign.

How do they get into a fight basically the moment the barbarian is no longer there to help them? How?

They sat down at the table... Brennan knows how to make casinos work, I'll give him that. Though I no longer know who is trying to convince who here.

They went all in. Everyone not actively involved is hiding, and that I can absolutely get behind. This is madness. This is great.

Everyone's all nerves, until Lou announces he can count cards, and they relax. And then he points out that to count the cards they would have to risk Murph rolling, and the panic is visible. Oh, the tension.

an eight...

And a gun? WHat???

It's a freakin' six... THe amount of EmoTion at this table.

How does this scene keep getting worse? I mean, sure, there were a few ones, but still. Surely at some point this has to swing in the party's favor, right? Right?

I cannot believe I am not even half way through this episode yet.

Sid isn't rolling well either...

Oh, okay, just a mental set to avoid vanishing entirely into an update. At least she got the charisma save straight off.

Oh, the dice are not with these guys today. Or, more specifically, the dice are out to ruin Team Casino today. And they are succeeding. They've been left behind, and they. Can't. Lie.

The danger zone.

Okay, jumping straight off the level without harming Gunnie? THAT is awesome!

When Brennan counts damage OUT LOUD you know it's not gonna be good.

He lives! Barry Syx lives! Wooo!

Chaos team is insane, and should never be allowed to run stuff together. Ever.

Organic super computers!

"Am I being kidnapped?" "No, no, no." "Can I leave?" "No."

Okay, Gnosis is awesome. But also, keeps reminding me of the giant computer from The Hitchhiker's Guide.

The Princeps can cook? The ship already had cooking utensils? And they're on board with dognapping?

This is not a dog. Unless dog breeds have gotten really weird over the centuries.

Whitney!

Subtle control is such a cool ability. So useful.

The Merc who thinks Barry is, I mean, presumably he thinks he's looking at Nine, right? Who's going by Six? That's an unexpected twist.

And the Slug is a Prince?! Ooh, fun... "If you ever speak of this again, I will wipe your line from existence" damn Zac.

Well. I- uh- they succeeded in their mission. So that's a thing. (That was so much at once. So much.)

"Your number's backwards" I was right!

Okay, so, if I'm keeping track right. People currently wanted for one reason or another: Norman, Skip/Prince Val, Sidney AKA 'Can't trust me Whitney' and Margaret. Plus Gunnie's got debts, and Barry Nine is around somewhere. I think Riva's the only one who isn't in hot water at the moment.

The Jib-Jobbers are so calm about everything. Like actual office workers, now that I think about it. Work place risks are work place risks.

The pleasure putty is everywhere. That'll be causing trouble before long.

This was a long episode. So much happened. Oh my blob, that was a lot. And with the next, we move to battle! Woo! (And, I think, a new thread for next episode. To keep things simpler for me.)

Finally worked my way through Dim20 to the point where I feel I can now start Starstruck. (Naturally at such a point where there's no way I can watch anything live, but such is my usual luck.)

First episode in, and I can already tell this has very different vibes to the seasons before. I'm not sure if it's because of the time difference between seasons, the change in rules, the fact that they started in a combat or something else entirely, but there is a very different vibe here.

Maybe it's the heavy leaning towards capitalism from Gunnie, the despondent depressed auras of the Skipper and Sidney, the vague naïvety carried by Riva. Or maybe it's something brought to the table by the fact that they've all come out of social distancing to step onto a ship where everyone is communicating only by comms for the majority of the episode, excluding Rivia and Skipper, one of whom is in a bubble.

Either way, it's interesting.

#luci watches dnd #a starstruck odyssey #d20 aso epsd 4

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totalfanfreak · 7 years ago

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One of Three - 12

One of Three

Chapter 12 - The Green Fairy

[I'm sorry for being late updating, guys. I don't know if any of you got a taste of it, but the weather's been damn crazy where I'm at. I just got my power back after four days, not to mention all the trees that fell. I've also had trouble with this one, I wrote the chapter and three thousand words in I felt like it didn't fit, wrote it again and six pages later said nope. It felt like I was forcing something I shouldn't so I nixed it. I need a beta, but I don't know how to get a beta. So I'll leave it alone. Hope this one's good enough...]

She was gone again, and Murphy didn't hesitate to throw on his coat and get outside. He didn't have to go far this time, finding her sitting outside the building on the iced curb, her face buried in Shep's mane. He approached slowly, afraid of startling her.

"Sera?"

The quiet tone didn't stop her from jumping, and he could see the puffiness under her eyes, the trembling of her bottom lip â€“ she'd been crying.

"What wrong, Sera grÃ¡?"

She shook her head, tilting so hair went into her face to hide where she could wipe any tear streaks away.

"I'm fine, Murphy, had to take Shepherd out for a bit."

He dug his hands in his coat, taking a seat beside her on the sidewalk. "Don't look fine ta me. Both know better than that, so how bout ye cut to it and tell me?"

She looked on the verge of sobbing, bringing her knees up to her chest. "I keep trying to call Sapph, tried to talk to him since the first night of Hanukah. It's the first time we've been apart during the holidays and I wanted to know how he was doing, but no one's answered. Not since the last time when we got my stuff in hereâ€¦not from either of them."

He sat down and put his arm around her, making her turn into his hold to glance at him. Her eyes were round, terrified, uncertain, the glassy sheen from her earlier tears still lingering.

"Aingeal â€“"

"What if during this time something's happened? I mean â€“ I think I would feel it, right? If something happened to him, I would know. But maybe that's what this is, I feel like I'm being torn inside, that could be me losing him right now."

He felt her hurt, his own insides being mangled watching those wide eyes dripping. She huddled closer to him, and he felt how cold she had become, making him wonder how long she had stayed out here.

"I can't lose him, Murph, he's all I've got left."

For a second he wanted to say she was wrong, that she had him and Connor. But he knew what she meant. It was a separate thread, though the three of them had become interlaced there were things only him and Conn would get. That went the same for her brother. There were some things in this life that could only be understood by the flesh and blood you shared with someone.

"Do you think I should go look for him? I know he's not in the same place I last saw him, he never told me where he was just in case, but it's possible there's something there to tell me."

He heard that distinct 'I' and not 'we.' She was saying she should go alone. Away from them, away from where they could keep her protected. And the thought of something happening to her had his mouth leaping to stop her.

"You're right about feeling it, love. But I think it's worry, you're scared Seraphine, completely understandable. But ye can't go out there on yer own. 'Specially with no true destination in mind. I'm not sayin' we're gonna keep our heads in da sand, but yer brother would want ye safe. And we're gonna do that. Trust us Sera, we'll do whatever we can to find yer brother."

He helped her to stand, her legs wobbling from sitting down for so long. He supported her weight until she got her footing.

"How are we supposed to find him, Murph?"

"Gonna call Roc at first light, he keeps in certain circles. He should find some sort of lead of what we can do."

Sera gave a wimpy smile, trying to take in the assurance.

"Wanna head back up, aingeal?"

She shook her head. "I don't want to sleep, can't, right now. I'll just keep you and Conn up. I might walk for a while."

"We could go somewhere?"

She looked unsure but eager. "Where?"

He shrugged, taking the leash from her hand. "I know a place that's still open."

"Not McGinty's?"

Murphy couldn't stop but smirk. "Nope, not McGinty's."

"What about Connor?"

Murphy rolled his eyes. "Fuck him, he got his day with ye. If ye want, I'd like ye ta spend da night with me."

Her smile was genial, anxiety lingering in her features. "Okay. Murph, you got me. I'm curious to see where you take me at â€“" she glanced at her watch, "twelve forty at night, which makes it technically Christmas. Nothing's open on Christmas."

He grinned, taking her by the hand. "Trust me, love, there's always somewhere."

It was a good distance to walk and he kept his mouth shut. He knew she was struggling inside to keep herself together, so he allowed her peace until she was ready to come out. Yet he wasn't used to so much silence, and the impulse to break it had him fumbling to stick a cigarette in his mouth to muzzle it.

"I used to get jealous when I was a kid. So many Christmas decorations everywhere, but they are beautiful."

They had been walking past, from what he could tell in the dim light was the post office, the large pine they decorated blocking out the sign of the building. It was lit up in gold: the lights, ornaments, tinsel, and star all glimmering. The scene was a good contrast to their little tree back home where they paid tribute to Ireland by using the flag's colors.

"Yeah, a lot of 'em are nice ta look at. Always liked ta see the houses all lit up. Though some crazy bastards pay a fortune ta do up their yard."

She laughed, a genuine one, and he was glad to see her tension fade. "I like to look too. I enjoy the houses that do their lights in time to the music. It's like a concert on someone's lawn."

They walked past the tree, him taking her arm as they approached an intersection to cross.

"Those people have too much time on their hands if they do all that."

Her smile stayed in place, a playfulness entering her eyes. Letting her lean into him as they trudged several more blocks in the snow. When they approached the deserted building he saw her blink, skeptical.

"It's closed, Murph."

True the lights out front were out, and there wasn't a soul in sight, but he knew better. Putting a hand on his heart he motioned for her to follow with the other.

"Trust me, aingeal, it's not. We're just not at the correct entrance."

She let him lead her around to a loading area, her eyes taking in the towering pillars as he rang the bell. It took a while and he was about to call defeat that it was closed for the holidays when a burly man came and opened the door.

"Name?"

"MacManus."

The man nodded, moving so they could get in. Sera motioned to Shep but Murphy shook his head. People brought all kinds of things in; it was part of the attraction. When he heard her laughing he turned back to her grinning as well.

"What's so funny, Sera?"

She waved her hand around them. "All of this, it's a bit bizarre. So, they what, close the museum and turn it into a nightclub after hours?"

He moved his thumb across his lips, proud of himself for providing a distraction to her. "Sort of, a few people bring in food or hire someone ta cook accordin' to da occasion. Gives people a good chance ta look at the exhibits before they pack 'em up and cart 'em fer something else."

Her face was awestruck when they made it to the main lobby. He was happy to see the woman with the birds was still attending, make it less awkward for Sera and Shep.

"How'd you discover this place?"

"Wasn't hard. Had a coworker at one time that told us about it, said there was good drinks and good food. Why not try it?"

"So you and Connor come here a lot?"

He stiffened then. "Uh, no, Conn doesn't come here."

She shook her head before taking his hand. "He doesn't know you come here, does he?"

He shook his head, not making eye contact. "No, he doesn't. I know Conn wouldn't really think anything of it, but he'd give me a ribbing about it. I don't care about that so much. Hell, we both find anything we can to poke fun at each other. I love doing things with my brother, being around him, I justâ€¦"

"Needed something that was yours?"

He shifted on his feet, nodding, before glancing up. Her face was calm, a small smile on her face.

"But you shared this with me?"

"Well, yeah, you're interested in this too. Like ta be here by myself sometimes, but it'd be nice ta have someone to talk to about it."

She went to him, squeezing into his side, and he was happy to match the hold with his own.

"Thank you for doing this. Should we look around? Though I'd be fine sitting and seeing everyone's petsâ€¦that a lizard?"

He chuckled. "Yep, a monitor lizard. Seen him before, he's harmless."

She shook her head, boggled. "Feel like I fell down a rabbit hole or something."

He led her up the stairs, reaching for her hand when they weaved past people. "Expecting us ta go to a tea party then?"

She laughed. "Wouldn't mind it, but I know you prefer coffee."

"Ye do too."

"True."

She sprinted past him then, entering the white room. "It's Elsi Giauque, this is incredible, Murph. No one's shown her work in over a decade and never in America. "

He looked at the woven boxes, glancing back to her seeing her eyes light up in overwhelmed appreciation. He saw her hand twitching, wanting so bad to touch the delicate strands.

"'Ã‰lÃ©ment spatial,' Do feel like I'm in space, make ye feel like yer floating."

She spun to him, grinning. "Yes! Exactly, at the same giving the illusion that everything's being held up but you."

This is why he wanted to bring her, she got it. Understood, and thrilled to be a part in it. He let her duck and go through the maze of boxes before leading her into the next room.

"Oh, spiders."

It was a crocheted web. It had many gaps and tears, some spaces looking like woven boxes or dreamcatchers.

"Took some plannin' on my part, love, but I finally ensnared ye."

The carefree trickles of laughter hitched his stomach, she was happy in this moment with him. Forgetting her troubles for now, and it made him happy too.

"Who said you ensnared anything? Maybe I willingly fell into the trap."

He was feeling shy again, pissing himself off. "Glad ye did."

She kissed his cheek, and he wanted to pull her in. But she eluded his hands.

"I'm afraid I enjoy the chase a tiny bit more."

She took off then, and his stomach flopped with giddiness as he went to catch her. It ended when he didn't find her right off. Each room he turned over either vacant or without any sign of her or Shepherd.

"Sera!"

He was about to get someone on the intercom when he felt a pair of arms clasp around his waist.

"Caught you."

"Sera! Jesus, lass, I was gettin' worried. Couldn't find ye."

Her face went contrite. "Sorry, Murph."

"S'okay, how about we stick together from here on?"

She smiled. "Fine by me. What would you like to see now?"

He gestured behind him. "Wanna go get a drink, and sit a minute?"

"Sure."

"They got those fruity drinks if ye ain't up ta the hard stuff."

She mock glared at him. "I think I keep up pretty well for someone who doesn't drink much."

"Aye, ye do. Just don't want yer stomach feelin' it da next day s'all."

Approaching the bar, they were greeted by the bartender asking what they would like.

"Guinness is fine with me, how bout you, aingeal?"

She wasn't looking at the bar though, but a couple sitting at the fountain several feet away.

"I want what they have."

He put his arm around her. "Thought we did."

She snorted before turning her eyes to the bartender who chuckled.

"That'd be verte absinthe, a specialty tonight. One of the curators here had it bought at auction, it's sealed date was 1910."

He saw Sera's gaze wither. "Oh, that sounds expensive."

"I'll get it fer ye, love."

She shook her head, when the bartender spoke up.

"The first shot's on the house for all lovebirds tonight. If you like it we have Absente, which is Spanish absinthe. It was made more recent and easily bought so they're free."

"We'll try a shot of the fancy one first then."

It was an interesting process, watching the sugar melt into the cup, the bright green turning murky as it drizzled in. Didn't look quite appetizing, but he supposed it'd be fine for one shot.

Taking her glass, Sera sniffed the contents. "Do you think we'll see the green fairy?"

He grinned. "Never drank anything enough that I saw a Tinkerbell."

She looked to the bartender who shook his head. "Not likely, ma'am, there's no hallucinogenic properties in the contents. Mostly people who seen things are either very drunk, mentally unstable, or they took something beforehand."

She clinked her glass to his. "Or they wanted to see something so bad that they did. Bottom's up."

Her eyes were focused on the ceiling, face showing reluctance until the she got the taste.

"It tastes like licorice."

He never cared for licorice, but he raised his glass just the same and drained it. He studied the frothy remains at the bottom, unimpressed by the drink.

"Didn't taste any alcohol in there."

The bartender raised his brows up, amused. "It's sixty-eight percent alcohol, sir."

Murphy pointed to the various liquor bottles. "Is that other one stronger?"

"It's seventy-four percent."

"Give me a shot of that one then."

He glanced over at Sera. "Ye want some more?"

She shook her head. "Nope. I think it's meant to trick you, the taste, I might be falling over my feet on this one shot."

"Doubt that, I'll take a few shots and a bottle of Guinness. After that if ye want ta look around some more â€“"

She kissed him then, he could taste licorice from the anise on her. He couldn't help the smirk when she pulled away.

"See that fairy's workin' fer me."

"Hush, I'm having fun. Thank you for bringing me here, Murphy."

The sincerity stilled him. "S'no problem, love. Place cheers me up sometimes, hoping it'd do that fer you."

"It did. Take your shots I want a dance before we go."

He nearly choked then. There were a few people dancing nearby, an antique record player crooning off a melody. But Connor was the dancer, not him, Murphy's way of romancing played to sitting in the back booth and splitting a smoke. Yet the way Sera looked at him made him compliant. Taking one more swig he followed her, terrified he was going to make a fool of himself. She stood waiting for him, unafraid, as he put his hands on her waist, winding her arms around his neck he began to sway to the music. Being unsure of what to do with his feet.

"This is why I like to dance, makes a good excuse to be close in public."

He gave a toothy smile then. "If that's all ye wantedâ€¦"

He trailed off when she tucked her head beneath his chin, the light thud of her heart beating on his chest. He felt at ease, didn't give a damn if people looked, or if he tripped on his own feet â€“ he had his angel in his arms.

"TÃ¡ a fhios agat Is breÃ¡ liom tÃº, nach tÃº?" (You know I love you, don't you?)

She pulled away, enough so that she could see his eyes. "Is fÃ©idir liom. Agus is breÃ¡ liom tÃº rÃ³. An bhfuil a fhios agat go bhfuil?" (I do. And I love you too. Do you know that?)

His smile was gentle, trying not to break the moment. "Sea mo ghrÃ¡. Ach raibh a fhios agat go bhfuil tÃº mo chÃ©ad? Measaim go bhfÃ©adfadh tÃº a bheith ar mo amhÃ¡in." (Yes, my love. But did you know that you're my first? I think you might be my only.)

He began to panic, waiting for her reaction. Twenty-seven and never been in love before her, saying that she may be the only one for him. He was implying so much and he was afraid that with everything happening it would put her off. But just the same with all the things that could happen he wasn't going to let the opportunity go. He wasn't going to wake up and regret tomorrow. Her forehead went to rest on his jaw, as the song ended, he could hear the inhalation of breath.

"TÃ¡ sÃ© eagla orm go is dÃ³igh liom an gcÃ©anna mar gheall ort. An bheirt agaibh." (It scares me that I feel the same about you. Both of you.)

He folded himself so there wasn't any space between them, letting his hands grip her hips. He dipped down taking her lips more roughly than he intended. Murphy didn't want her to be scared, but he wanted her to know it was okay. That he was scared too, scared of screwing things up, and scared of the things that could get in the way. She kissed back with equal vigor, hands going from his neck to his hair, trying to pull him closer though there wasn't any distance left. A growl rumbled up, he could feel it playing across his ribs up to his throat and into her mouth. She groaned when it hit her, hands beginning to wander away under his shirt.

"Guys are da ones to sneak a grope, girlie."

Her teeth grazed his jaw when he pulled away, and he wanted to feel that plush, little mouth all on him.

"Didn't think I was sneaking, Mr. MacManus. Only trying to keep some composure since we're surrounded."

Fuck they were, between her and the drinks his head had swum away. "Be best if we get our way home, aye lass?"

"Sounds like a good damn idea, laddie."

He chuckled. "You just wait, aingeal. Be gettin' ye fer that."

It was more difficult than he thought, and Sera was the one having to lead the way back.

"That ain't fair."

"What's not fair?"

"Fuckin' drinks, didn't taste no alcohol in 'em. Now they're puttin' me off my ass."

She giggled, trying to keep him balanced against her. Honestly, he was exaggerating, sure he was feeling smacked harder by the shots than he thought he would but he was capable of walking fine on his own if he wanted. He enjoyed her hands on him, Connor would say she was babying him, but he didn't give a shit. He liked her taking care of him, even if he came off as a drunk.

"From how you look you may have a good chance of seeing that fairy tonight."

He stood straighter then, pulling out of her hold and taking her in his. "Don't need ta see a fuckin' fairy, grÃ¡, already caught me an angel."

She squirmed in his embrace, playful, as she snorted. "I think you're full of it."

He wiggled his eyebrows. "Could make ye full of something."

He loved watching that flush came up in her pale cheeks as she cleared her throat. "Got to say, I've wanted to bring it up so you better not be teasing me on that. I've wanted toâ€¦"

He saw that flush turn deeper, feeling his own as his neck began heating up. "Wanted what, Seraphine?"

"Both of you, I'm not sure how we could go about the first time, but I want to somehow."

God, she's thought about it. Him and Connor had shared a few girls before, but never had one like this that offer herself to them both much less at the same time.

"Need ta take that road slow, lass, want ta savor ye on my own first. Dear brother can sit there and watch me make yer insides crumble, how's that sound?"

"Da fuck you three been?"

His gaze slid to Connor, clothes thrown on haphazardly having flipped out that he was alone.

"Couldn't sleep, thought I'd take our girl ta see da sights."

"Ye could've left a fuckin' note, woke up and couldn't find either of ye."

He smirked, Sera was the mediator now, though Murphy couldn't help the twinge of guilt in worrying his brother.

"We're sorry, Conn, I was having a rough night, and Murphy was trying to cheer me up."

"Could've woke me, love, would've been glad ta put a smile on yer face."

Murphy laughed then. "That's just what we were gettin' home ta do."

His brother tilted his head in confusion, while Murphy pulled Sera behind him to their building.

"Murph said you've been waiting on the right moment. I think now is a pretty good one, and he agreed with me."

"Whole-heartedly, and ye can either sulk and watch or ye can join in or something."

Going into their room, he let Sera settle Shepherd down, taking the time to strip down to his boxers now.

"We're rushing her."

"I don't think we are, Conn. Think we all need this."

He fucking did for sure. He was so hard he thought his dick would take off like a damn rocket. He flopped down on the bed, lounging until she got back when he opened his arms.

"Take me, lass, I'm all yers. Not you."

He was pointing to Connor then who had his arms crossed.

"Conn, you okay? If you don't want to do this with usâ€¦I mean, I understand. But I don't need the bed to be covered in rose petals or champagne I just want you both."

His brother's gaze softened on her. "Just want ya ta remember it, grÃ¡ milis, want ye ta know how much ye mean ta us."

Murphy watched her approach him, her knuckles gliding on his cheek. "It's not going to be the location or the stuff that does that, it's you, Conn, you and Murph."

Her words touched him, and was easily felt that it got to his brother too.

"Yer needed too, aingeal, wouldn't want Connor's naked ass near me if you weren't involved."

"Fuck off, Murph."

He grinned, happy the mood was lightened. "If it's all right with ye, Sera, you're wearing too many damn clothes fer me."

She turned back to Connor, sweet smile on her face as she tugged his sleeve towards the bed. Letting go she made her way over taking her jacket and shirt off while she did.

"Ye didn't wear a fucking bra?"

She smirked. "Thought me and Shep were only going around the block."

She shimmied on her knees towards him on the bed. "Where're yer manners at? Don't put yer shoes on da bed lass."

She grinned, rolling on her back to kick them off. "Connor?"

"He's wanting a show, aingeal."

He saw that impish look in his brother's eye, a telltale sign he was right. Whereas Murphy tended to overlook things, jumping to do them his own way â€“ Connor was an observer. He liked to study what he was getting into, usually one of his stupid ideas popping in his head while he was doing it.

"Come on, Sera, I want ta see the angel."

She was hesitant for a second, intimidated at being watched, scrutinized, but her eyes lit back up on him. "Fairy."

"Nope, want my angel, take those pants off fer us."

She shook her head in amusement, hands going to her jeans as she chucked off her boots. Yes, where Connor thought things out, Murphy preferred his instincts to guide him. Right now, he wanted his girl bare, and from the looks of the tent in his brother's pants so did he.

"Ye gonna take those off or punch a hole in the only good pair of pants ye got?"

Connor swore at him, making him laugh, surprised when soft skin was pressed against him.

"You should be nice to your brother."

He groaned, his hands racing across Sera's flesh. The way she had positioned herself made it easy for him to lick up the middle of her sternum to her collarbone, nudging his nose as he planted kisses around her breasts.

"Will do just about anything fer ye, love, but that ain't gonna happen. 'Sides he's always mean ta me."

"Am not ye damn prick."

"See."

She snorted at them both, her mouth mimicking his as she trailed up from his navel creating a fork as she went to tweak a nipple with the tip of her tongue. She shivered as the blunt nubs of his nails trailed down her spine to grab at the globes of her backside. She was paying him back for all the times he left hickeys on her, feeling that delicious suction on his neck and chest. Those soft hands moving aimless around his skin, tugging the curls on hair that was over his heart. He felt a dip in the bed and knew it was Connor, he knew his brother was coming in for a better look so he could get comfortable. They had discussed this before, and would both take their own time with her, not wanting to scare her with too much. He knew he's brother would enjoy sitting there and watching til he got his turn.

"Flip over, Seraphine."

She off his chest, letting him guide her back to the bed. He couldn't help but ogle her â€“ pale milky skin with a few scattered freckles from where the sun had touched. Deep burgundy lips that matched her nipples and the coloring to her labia, hazel eyes glinting as she squirmed under his hands and his scrutiny. His gaze flicked back down, he had only begun to touch her yet with her legs open to fit him in he could see how wet she was her inner folds swollen as they peeked out from her lips. Lowering himself he heard her gasp as his tongue caught her juice, wanting to lap her up like a bowl of soup, and when she started mewling her hips bucking up he knew she was almost there. He went back up, feeling her knees on his hips.

"Murph."

That low moan of desperation had him quivering, kissing her to fill her mouth with the amaroidal taste of herself. Snugging himself in, he fit himself at her entrance, the little hole pulsing for him to come in, he was going to when his brother had to ruin it.

"The fuck ye doin'?"

He knew he his eyes looked crazed, but he didn't give two shits at the moment. "The fuck's it look like?"

Connor rolled from his side. "We don't have no protection do we?"

"Fuck."

He hadn't thought of that, none of them had, and he was running his hand over his hair when he felt Sera tugging him.

"No, it's okay, it's fine â€“"

"Sera we can't take a chance like that right now."

"No, I take the pills, the fucking, birth controlâ€¦will you just get the fuck in?"

He couldn't stop the chuckle that came. "A tad anxious, aren'tcha there?"

"Well, if you don't want toâ€¦"

He pinned her down when she started to roll towards Connor. Giving a moment to gather herself before spearing her. He caught a hold of his brother's gasp as she screamed in surprise. She was snug around him, the perfect amount of warmth and wetness. He was close to spilling ito her that he had to take a few breaths before he thought to move. It'd been a while, the months they took to get to know one another had rendered them celibate, and though her mouth was bliss it hadn't prepared him for this. After a few practice pumps he picked up his rhythm tilting her hips to push himself in further. Her keening was throwing him off, the sound making his balls draw up tighter and quicker than he wanted. Keeping up his pace, he propped himself on one arm to reach between them and tease her clit. He had to make sure she came along with him, and the way she was driving her hips back into his, her nails digging in his forearms she was getting there.

"Murphy."

A breathless whisper, her eyes feverish as if she were in pain. His fingers gathered up the hardened nub, tips of his fingers stoking downward until her body stiffened, head thrown back as she let out a strangled yelp. He felt her walls spasm, like a vacuum, milking him so his body could let go inside her. And not long after she came apart he was able to follow, except at the last second he decided to pull out. His fluids pouring out over her stomach, he smiled tired, letting his head fall between her breasts her heartbeat erratic, both gulping air to steady their breathing.

"Since ye painted my brother, thought I'd take the chance ta paint ye, Ã¡r stÃ³r milis." (Our sweet treasure.)

He heard a winded chuckle in response, he closed his eyes, feeling her hands come around him â€“ one rubbing his back while the other wiped the sweat from his face, smoothing back his hair. After a few minutes he heard Connor muttering, knowing his brother was checking to see if Sera was all right enough to continue. He could barely move, and he hoped the assertion didn't drain everything from her.

"Move yer ass, Murph."

He grunted in protest, but rolled over as gentle as he could. Connor shifted, regarding Sera to make sure she really was okay while he helped situate her on top of him. The way Murphy had himself, he laid side by side with his brother, able to see almost the exact same angle as him. Connor guided her hips in a much more unhurried pace, and Murphy was mesmerized watching Sera's body slowly swallow his brother's up. She seemed fine with the speed that was set, her hands skimming over his torso. She watched in concentration, awed by the way Connor's muscles would twitch and jump under her touch. As the temp picked up, Murphy saw a solitary bead of sweat making its way down her neck, past the valley of her chest, down to her stomach. He wanted to lick it up, but he knew his time had passed for right now, the teardrop trail belonging to Connor.

Connor's expression was one of pure marvel, like his eyes couldn't believe the sight in front of him. Murphy noted neither looked away from the other, the intensity of their gaze daunting as she took control rolling her hips faster, the vein in Connor's forehead was throbbing, a sign he was approaching the edge. His brother sat up, taking her waist, drawing out their strokes.

"Ye almost there, aingeal? Ye gotta come fer me too."

She nodded, their position draping her hair over them when she bent to kiss him. Connor let her decide the speed, her body hammering up and down along him when she finally pushed her hips down hard, inhaling sharply though no sound came. Murphy saw his brother's face turn a bright red, before emptying himself into her. Sliding off, Sera fit herself between them on the bed, and he reached out the tuck the hair hiding her face away.

"Ye okay?"

She didn't respond at first and he thought she had fallen asleep.

"I think I found the way to Nirvana."

Connor laughed. "So yer a Buddhist now?"

She hummed in reply, reaching out to bring him to her to kiss him. She did the same with Murphy, her arm moving behind her to find him.

"Thank you both, I think I'll be able to sleep now."

Murphy couldn't stop his hands gliding down her body, caressing her while her body sunk off to sleep.

"We love ye, girl."

"Hmmmâ€¦I love you both tooâ€¦.so much."

When her breathing evened out he looked at his brother. "Wanna get a smoke?"

"Aye. Sneak out on da rooftop and let her sleep."

Murphy nodded, throwing on his boxers and coat along with his brother following up the set of stairs that led to the top of the building.

"So ye gonna tell me why both of ye were out so late?"

Murphy chewed his lip, letting his cigarette bounce between his fingers. "Found her out there on the curb. She's been tryin' ta call her brother. But neither him or da other girl's been answering."

Connor's brow creased with concern. "Ye think something happened to 'em?"

"She does. Was cryin' her eyes out, she doesn't know what ta do. Hell, Conn, I don't either. But she wanted ta take off not knowin' where to go or what she was getting inta. I wasn't gonna let her take off like that."

Connor ran a hand over his face. "No, she don't need ta leave. She's panicking, probably not able ta think straight right now. We need ta set her down and talk to her about itâ€¦we took advantage of her tonight,

Murph. She's out there feelin' like that and we toss her into bed with us."

"I don't think that's how it is, Conn. I think it comforted her. Showed her we're with her."

"Maybe. Can't imagine what's goin' on in her head though. Ta lose her sister and now her brother's lost out thereâ€¦couldn'tâ€¦it'd drive me insane if it were you."

Murphy nodded solemnly. "Aye, we'll find him, take care of whatever needs ta be done."

Connor nodded in agreement, flicking his butt into the alley. "Better get back inside, freezin' my damn nuts off out here."

Murphy waited a while more, looking out at the darkened city, it was quiet, peaceful, and he wondered if it would last. Getting back inside, Conn had already settled back in bed, arm slung over Sera to pull her against him. His mind was too awake to follow, opting instead to pull off one of the albums from the shelf. He enjoyed looking through the pictures, though it embarrassed their girl. A picture was a window, and he wanted to peer into as many as he could. Watching her grow up in each frame, sometimes pouting, but overall she smiled. Especially with her family, the one he turned to now of her and her sister. They favored each other a great deal. Twin broad smiles as they faced each other. The two untroubled without a care, laughter radiating off the page, he wanted Sera to have that look again. With his back resting on the headboard he settled in, Sera's warm body beside him as he thumbed through her past. Soon slumping over as he fell asleep.

He woke to something warm on his face, scrunching up his eyes before they opened he was graced with Connor sidled right up next to him. He was about to smack him when he heard the shower running. Sera wasn't in bed with them. With a sly grin, he took off his boxers jumping from the bed to get behind the curtain. Her chin was raised up, letting the warm spray run over her body. Turning her neck she squinted at him from the corner of her eye, a small smile on her lips.

"What're you think you're doing?"

He grinned. "Our girl never showers in here with us. Had ta take the chance."

She blushed. "I was afraid if I used the other shower I wouldn't hear the timer on the stove. I didn't wake you, did I?"

"Nope, Conn nasty breath did."

"So mean."

Moving from her spot she pulled him under the water, soaping up her loofah to help wash him.

"I could get used ta this. Ye need any help with cleaning."

She shook her head. "No, but thank you. Just want to take care of you right now."

He reached out to her, pulling her to him. His hands slipping on her from the water. "Ye do take care of us, Seraphine. Want ta take care of you. So ye miss any spots? Behind the ears? Toes? Need someone to soap yer back?"

She giggled, her eyes twinkling. Not as brightly as they were in the photos but pretty damn close.

"I'm good, I beat you to it already."

"My luck wasn't as good as I thought then."

"I can still wash you though."

He didn't want her to think she had to but with some coaxing she did. The tender touches making his body limp, he hadn't been so relaxed in a good while.

"Y'know it's Christmas morning, lass, let's go open our presents. Noticed Santa left some under da tree."

That sparkle was still there but she shook her head. "Have to wait until Conn wakes up for that."

His mouth fell open. "Fuck that, I'll wake him."

He had gotten a pillow to toss at him when Sera stopped him. "No, come on and help me cook, Murph. He should wake soon."

He let out an exasperated grunt. "Don'tcha want ta know what ye got?"

"Yeah, but I also want to finish cooking. We have to lug it down to McGinty's by six. Claudette's taking care of the ham, and everyone's supposed to bring a dish. But I'm still behind. I haven't even started on the babka yet."

He flung the pillow back down and followed her into the makeshift kitchen. Since getting the stove the apartment had usually remained fragrant with the goodies she'd make.

"What's that?"

"Babka?"

He nodded.

"It's Challah but with raisins and nuts in it, kind of like a cinnamon roll. I think you'll like it. I finished the apple cake earlier. Doc told me his mom used to make it for him, and I thought it'd be kind of neat to have since for Rosh Hashanah it's tradition to make a honey and apple cake."

"Why was it a tradition?"

"Because both things are sweetâ€¦it's the Jewish New Year so sweet things to make a sweet year."

"Sounds like a good way ta start it."

"Yeah, my Nonni could make the best kind. Oh! And her rugelach! Best thing to ever go in your mouth."

He snuck behind her hands slipping around her waist. "I could think of something sweeter in my mouth, aingeal."

Kissing her thoroughly she pulled back flushed. "Keep being naughty like that and Santa's going to take back those gifts."

"I think ye like it love."

Rubbing her lips together the red went high in her cheeks. "I do. Very much so. How about I make us some pancakes and coffee while we wait for Conn? I put the beef on when I woke up, and wet it not too long

ago. I peeled the potatoes for the colcannon. But I'll wait to put those on so the cabbage isn't too soggy."

Murphy was ahead of her, coffee percolating as he gathered up the mix. "Can't wait ta tell ma we had a taste of Ireland fer Christmas."

"You're going to call her before we leave aren't you?"

"Course, as soon as sleeping beauty gets up."

She laughed, as they went on to make breakfast. They were halfway through the meal and Connor still hadn't risen. Getting agitated Murphy started flicking pieces of pancake at his brother. Hitting him in the nose a few times, one piece clung to the side of his head.

"Da fuck?"

"Merry Christmas brother, get the hell up so I can open my presents."

Connor looked at him, anger and grogginess evident. His hair flattened on one side as he blinked around him. "It's early."

"Is not, gotta eat and open presents before we call ma, then we got ta go ta Mass before we make our haul to McGinty's so get yer lazy ass up."

Connor grumbled, wiping the syrupy dough off his face.

"Nollaig Shona, Conn." (Merry Christmas)

"Nollaig Shona a thabhairt duit chomh maith, aingeal milis. Been a good girl during the year ain'tcha?" (Merry Christmas to you as well, sweet angel.)

"I'm afraid you missed the chance for me to sit on your lap and tell you. Come and sit down and I'll fix you a plate."

"He can do it himself, Sera."

"I know, but I want to. Besides you two have presents to open."

"Ye got some here too."

Sera had poured Conn some coffee and was handing it to him before he even made his brain made him move towards the table. Murphy got up, snatching her arm and pulling her to the couch.

"I really wished you guys didn't get me anything."

"Yeah, but we wanted to, so come one and open one with us."

Going through the boxes he was amazed by the thought put into the presents. Him and Conn usually tossed each other a pack of cigarettes on Christmas, but Sera tried to get them something that they'd like to do or use. Besides the clothes, though he was thankful for them wasn't going to slow him down from tearing into the other gifts, he got a book about art from ancient to modern times, a new razor kit, and odd enough a bow and quivers when he turned to her she shrugged.

"I don't know. I saw it and it made me think of you. I almost bought the crossbow, but thought better of it and decided not to."

He chuckled. "A good thing, archery's for the Scots not the Irish."

"You never know, I think you'd be good at it."

Connor chortled then. "Hell aingeal, knowing him he'd end up putting his own damn eye out with the thing."

"Stick it up yer ass, Conn. Like ta know how well off you'd be with that martial arts shit she got ye."

He was able to see the smile fade from her face. "If you guys want, I have the receipts -"

"It's not like that, love, we like our gifts very much. We haveta mess with each other though. Wish ye hadn't spent so much money on us though."

"Like you said before, I wanted to. There's still one more to you both."

"We'll open that, if you'll open this one. Murph and me have been itchin' ta give it to ye."

Murphy's eyes went to the little box Connor held out. It wasn't exactly what he had wanted to get her, but they agreed this would be a good step for them. That it'd show what she meant to them.

"Oh, my God."

They both piped in. "Lord's name."

Was that good or bad? She looked like she was going to cry. "Do ye not like it?"

Her response was to hurdle towards them, trying to capture them both in her arms. Drawing back she swallowed deeply.

"It's incredible, I love it. Thank you."

"May I put it on ye, aingeal?"

She nodded and he wanted to hit his brother for thinking to ask before him. He saw the silvers and diamond shining as it was placed around her neck.

"It's the Triquetra, the Trinity knot. In Ireland it's s'pposed ta symbolize the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, but we thought that we can let it stand for, ye know, the three of us."

His thumb went to his mouth, chewing the cuticle as his eyes went away when his hand was tugged down replaced with her soft lips.

"Thank you, Murph. This means so much to me, everything."

She went to kiss Conn, getting rid of the remainder of his jitters by opening their last gift, a homebrewers kit. It made the two of them laugh, Sera's tinkling laughter chiming in with them. They had called their Ma, Murphy choking when she asked to speak to Sera. She was terrified herself shaking her head and pulling away until she was placated that their Ma couldn't come through the phone on her. She eased when they started talking, staying a tad self conscious though their Ma swore to keep it tamed. He noticed, she made no promises for the next time. Sera poured another bottle of Guinness on the spiced beef putting the meat on low to simmer while they were out at Christmas Mass. Once over gathering everything to take to McGinty's. It had been a wonderful evening. Everyone having a good time, stuffed to the brim and laughed out, the three made their way towards the door when Claudette left Rocco's side to hold out an envelope.

"I nearly forgot to give this to you."

Sera's face contorted to meek confusion. "You didn't have to do that, Claudette."

The blonde blushed, shoulders rising up to her ears. "I-I didn't. It was dropped off at the school. With you gone, we had a last second call in before break to figure out what we should do with the art program. I was shredding some papers when I saw this in your inbox. It had your name on it, thought you'd want it."

Sera thanked her, hugging her one more time before they left.

"I'm afraid to open it."

But she did, tearing into the top of the envelope revealing a card. Opening he saw her eyes soften, a small amount of surprise and fear climbing in them.

"Who's it from, Sera?"

Her hand went to her mouth, voice broken. "Lilly."

She closed her eyes and he knew she was trying to calm herself. "It's bad, whatever this is. It's got to be bad."

She let them take the card, seeing neat handwriting marking out two sentences.

I'll see you soon. Please don't do anything stupid until then.

Trying to decipher the words Murphy searched himself trying to figure out how bad this could all go.

Taggers!

@some-daniela

@derpypenguin

@shinydixon

#the boondock saints #boondock saints #boondock saints fanfic #boondock saints fic #one of three #connor macmanus #murphy macmanus #my oc

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