#we have like three more weeks left until the premiere

[ravi-is-my-beloved]

Manifesting that this season Eddie gets out of the closet, Ravi and Karen become mains, Buddie goes canon, we get more May and Harry content.

Just overall hoping that this is a good season.

[its-time-to-write]

three times ‘cause i’ve waited my whole life

I am apparently incapable of writing anything short. This has no plot. I think the only warnings are like swearing and innuendo. It is literally just Jamie and the reader being in love. I cannot stress enough how little plot this has. Enjoy.

three times ‘cause I’ve waited my whole life It’s one of Richmond’s biggest games. They’re facing Man City on their turf, an away game, and it’s a big deal.

It’s not important in that it really matters to their status in the premier league, but important because it’s Man City. Jamie has thrown himself completely into training, so you rarely see him except to eat dinner and then fall asleep, his arms around your waist as you watch tv, fingers combing through his hair. He’s awake before you are, but as soon as you hear him switch on the bathroom light, you make your way downstairs to make him breakfast. The team nutritionist had a strict diet for him, one modified by Roy to account for all the extra training. You rub sleep from your eyes as you brew a pot of tea, waiting for Jamie to come downstairs.

Arms snake around you as you wait at the stove for the tea.“You don’t have to do this,” Jamie says, kissing your neck. You smile and reach back to him.

“I know,” you reply, “It’s just the only time I really get to see you.”

Jamie pulls away and turns you around. You see that he’s frowning.

“I haven’t been a good boyfriend recently, have I?” he asks.

You smile, lacing your arms around his neck. “Jamie. This is just a part of life. You have a big game, you disappear for a while, I miss you and I adjust. You finish, win or lose, and we’re back. I knew what I was signing up for.”

He puts his hands on your wrists. “Yeah, but, like, we’re supposed to be talking to each other and shit. And I’m so tired all the time that I can’t think of anything to say. I also’ve been a shit listener. Can’t even remember what we talked about yesterday.”

You sigh, move his hands back to your waist, and then reach up to smooth the furrow in his brow.

“Remember when I had all that extra work last month and ended up working 60 hours a week because of everything that had to be done? I was up late every night, and all you did was bring me food and kiss me, then you left me alone. I think the longest we were together was when you let me sit with my legs on your lap for two hours. I didn’t hear you complaining.”

“Yeah but-”

You cut him off: “Jamie. It’s just life right now. It’s not forever. It’s ok.”

He looks like he has more to say, but is interrupted by the kettle whistling. You give him a quick kiss and then point to his breakfast on the counter. You sit on the kitchen island while he eats, with your head on his shoulder until Roy comes.

—

Here’s the thing; no one knows you and Jamie are together. Sure, Roy knows. But Jamie loves Roy. Keeley knows. But Jamie said you’d love Keeley. (You did). Ted and Beard know, but only because they saw you two walking around the Richmond green late, late at night. (What they were doing on the Richmond green that late is beyond you, but hey). It wasn’t long after that that Jamie put a picture of you two up in his locker, so then all of AFC Richmond knew. But you weren’t public public. You had yet to show up in a tabloid or be seen with Jamie at a game or public event. You went to his games, absolutely, but you stayed in the stands, not the box.

He always got you a spot as close to the field as possible, but you would always meet up with Keeley and Rebecca after games to rendezvous somewhere else later. 

You don’t mind. It doesn’t feel like Jamie is ashamed of you, especially because the people he cares about know. But you also know that you can handle it, and if he wants to go public and kiss you in the stands after a win, you would be ok with that. (You might be more than ok with that).

But as it is, no one knows about you. He knows where you stand on it, so the ball’s in his court. It’s been a year of this, but you just wonder how long it’s going to last.

—

Finally, finally it’s the week of the game. You had been staying in Manchester with Jamie’s mum, which was absolutely terrifying at first. It was not your first time meeting her, just your first time staying with her without Jamie present. You left a day before the team, so when they arrived Jamie sneaked away to come visit. You are sitting in comfortable silence on his mum’s porch looking up at the night sky, when he turns to you and says, “do you love me?”

You’re taken a little aback. “What kind of question is that?” you say. “Of course I love you.”

Jamie’s forehead is all scrunched up again, like it was that early morning. “What if I fucked my leg so badly I could never play football again?”

You laugh. “Not sure if you’ve noticed babe, but I’m not really a big football person. I’m more of a you person, so I guess there’s some overlap.”

Jamie is still weirdly nervous. “What if I play football till I’m forty, and you barely see me like it’s been? What if I’m always on the road and always training and all we get are dinners and shitty 3am breakfasts?”

He’s removed his arm from your shoulders at this point and you shiver, puffing out a breath into the cold air. He notices without saying a word and drapes his jacket around you.

“Jamie,” you reply slowly, trying to formulate your thoughts, “where is this all coming from? You know I love you. We’ve been together for a year, and this has never been an issue before.” As you’re speaking, you’re seized by a sudden, terrible thought: “Are you breaking up with me?”

The words tumble out so fast, you’re not sure he hears you until he’s looking at you, aghast. 

“No, are you breaking up with me?”

“No!” you reply. “But you’re acting all weird, and we’ve been together for an entire year and that’s the longest you’ve dated anyone and I just thought that maybe this was your way of letting me know gently that you’re over me.”

Your heart feels like it’s beating out of your chest.

Jamie breathes out a sigh of relief. “Oh. No. I’m not ending things. I want to be with you forever. I just get all freaked out in me head before games like this, and it’s been fuckin weird coming home, and I just want to win, you know, so that way all this time away is worth it.” He pulls you close to him again and you can feel his heartbeat slowing down to a normal pace, in sync with your own. 

You sit there till his mum comes out to remind him that it’s time to go get some rest, and it’s not until you’re half asleep in Jamie’s childhood bed that your mind replays his words:

I want to be with you forever.

—

It’s game day. You send Jamie a quick love you! text and then slip into your Jamie Tartt jersey. It’s from one of his old kits so it’s a little worn, but you always put it into his laundry pile so it comes out of the wash smelling like him. It’s not something anyone would notice, but you know, and it makes you smile. You get to be in the stands and know that Jamie Tartt loves you and you love him, and at the end of the day he’s the one you get to hold. You give yourself a shake, and open your phone to figure out where you’re meeting Keeley.

—

“And Richmond wins, 3-2 with a smashing goal by number 9 himself, Jamie Tartt!”

You’re screaming and jumping in the stands, overwhelmed by the fact that we won, we won, we won! The Richmond team are piling onto each other, Dani on Isaac’s back, Sam and Jan Maas jumping up and down like kids. You lose sight of Jamie in the mix.

“Well Arlo, it looks like Richmond has once again, exceeded all of our low expectations.”

“That’s right Chris, all thanks to Jamie Tartt’s brilliant goal. Looks like he’s having a good time celebrating with the Richmond lads. Wonder what they’ll get up to tonight? But what’s this? It looks like Tartt has broken away from his teammates and is running to the stands! He’s stopped in front of a fan and it looks like he is kissing a very lucky Richmond fan full on the mouth!”

“Have you ever been so caught up in a moment that you’ve made out with a stranger, Arlo?”

“Can’t say that I have, Chris. Can’t say that I have.”

It all happens so fast, that you don’t even know how to process it. One moment you can’t find Jamie and the next he is leaping over the stands, catching you in his arms, and kissing you in front of the whole stadium as if no one else is around. When you finally pull away, breathless, he takes your hand and helps you hop over the wall onto the pitch. Not usually allowed, but you suppose they’ll let it slide for football’s golden boy. AFC Richmond has caught up to Jamie, and you’re all on the field, screaming your heads off out of the sheer joy of winning.

—

“You’re coming tonight, yeah?” Isaac asks you as you wait for Jamie by the team bus. It’s the day after the Man City game, and you’re back in Richmond with a plan to hit the town yet again, as though the night before wasn’t enough for them. (You actually wouldn’t know, because you were in a very nice hotel room with a certain striker).

“Yeah, you know the only reason we invited him anywhere is in the hopes that you’ll finally be able come along,” Colin adds.

Any story of Richmond’s win had a somewhat fuzzy picture attached of Jamie kissing you in the stands with some variation of the title “Tartt’s mystery girl.”

You laugh. “Yes, we’ll be there. It’ll be nice to actually be out and about with you guys. Family dinners are fun, but there’s more to life.”

Once you found out that Jamie’s whole team knew you existed, you made him invite them over for dinner once a month. It’s one of your favorite things, especially because they all bring food to share. When it’s warm you do pool parties and when it’s cold you play bracket uno. It was nice to meet Jamie’s family, whether he’ll admit that’s what they are or not.

“You ready, babe?” Jamie asks as he slings his arm around you.

“BYE TED!” you yell. “Ok. Now I’m ready.”

— 

Sam closed his restaurant special for you all, and turned it into like a private club. You say like because it is, at its core, a restaurant. However, under Isaac’s supervision and creative design, he apparently has transformed Ola’s through rearranged furniture, dimmed lighting, and music into a place where AFC Richmond can celebrate their win without feeling crowded by strangers. You’re secretly grateful, because clubs are not really your scene. You’ll get all dressed up, sure, but you never know what to do with yourself once you’re there. 

Speaking of getting dressed up, you were feeling yourself. You had a light blue mini dress, with an asymmetrical neckline and a single puffed sleeve. It was more a-line than bodycon, but hey. You like a little bit of a twirl when you spin. Your absolute favorite part though was that you were wearing two-inch silver block heels, with straps around your ankles. The dress plus the shoes made your legs look magical. 

You and Jamie are in the bathroom getting ready, you fixing your makeup and him fixing his hair. He half-turns to you and points to his hair with a questioning look. “Lookin’ good,” you smile, and he smiles back.

“Oh, babe,” he says, tweaking his hair one final time, “I left my sunglasses back at the locker room, and I was wonderin’ if you’d be ok getting them with me before we head to the party? I just don’t want Bumbercatch stealing them.”

“Why would Bumbercatch steal them?” you ask.

Jamie shrugs. “Something about ‘no name, fair game.’ That’s how Jan Maas lost his favorite socks.” 

You shudder. Why Bumbercatch would want Jan Maas’ dirty old socks, you have no idea. They must be really amazing.

You reply, “Yeah sure, I hate being too early to things anyway,” as Jamie absentmindedly kisses you on the forehead with a “thanks babe,” as he heads downstairs.

—

You don’t live far from the Richmond pitch, so you’re walking across the dark parking lot in no time.

“Thanks for coming with me,” Jamie says.

He’s swinging your hands as you walk. He looks nice, the sleeves of his cream shirt rolled up. Nice pants, nice shoes. Nice ass. 

“Yeah, of course,” you say, momentarily distracted by the fact that this man is going to get laid tonight. 

“No, I mean you’re always down for what-fuckin-ever, and you just let things bounce off you. And you like me, for my personality for some fucking reason? And I think about you all the time, when I’m gone or when, like, I have early training with Roy. And you make laugh because you stopped being afraid to be yourself around me. I just like you. And I meant what I said the other day, I do want to be with you forever. Not to freak you out or whatever.”

He’s stopped right at the doors and he looks so uncomfortable and earnest in a way that you’ve never seen before.

“I’m not freaked out, Jaim,” you say. “I love you, and you know I’m in it to win it with you. Now, let’s get those sunglasses and for the love of god, please don’t act this weird tonight.”

This elicits a chuckle, and he nods in concession. “Alright. Let’s go.”

The halls are dark and quiet as you walk to the Richmond locker room. It smells clean, for once. Like lavender. There’s a faint glow coming from the doors and Jamie pushes open the doors to the most magical thing you have ever seen.

There are candles on the benches and twinkle lights strung across the lockers. There’s a bouquet of flowers in the middle of the room and as you turn to Jamie, awestuck look on your face, you see him kneeling behind you, small black box in hand.

“Jamie,” you say.

“Yes, love,” he replies.

“What are you doing.” It’s a statement, not a question, and it comes out more wobbly than you’d care to admit.

He cracks a smile. “Eh, I hope it’s pretty obvious what I’m doing.”

You can feel a fucking tear forming in your eye and you will it to go away. You refuse to have streaky foundation.

“Love of my life,” Jamie begins.

“Yes,” you say.

“Oi, you’ve gotta let me finish.”

“Right, sorry, as you were.” You think your face is going to split in half with the size of your smile.

He takes a breath then continues, “there’s no one else I’d rather have shitty 3am breakfasts with, no one else I’d rather beat at MarioKart, and no one else I’d rather do life with. Will you m-”

He’s cut of by you kissing him like you have never kissed him before. After a moment, he pulls away and asks, “Is that a yes?”

You can’t help it, the furrow in his brow gets you every time so you laugh and reply, “Of course it’s a yes, you dummy!”

Jamie smiles and then yells, “Lads, she said yes!” and the blinds go up from the coaches office as the entire AFC Richmond team storms into the locker room. Dani and Richard are spraying champagne in the air as people hug you and slap Jamie on the back. 

You find his hand amid the chaos and squeeze it. 

“Can’t believe I were so nervous about this,” he says into your ear.

“Can’t believe you think you beat me at MarioKart,” you respond.

“Oi, we are not getting into this again-”

“There’s only one way to settle this.”

Jamie looks at you, then to all your friends celebrating, then back to you. “Think they’ll even notice we’re gone?”

You shake my head. “Nah,” you say, “let’s get out of here.”

Jamie smiles at me as you slip through six different lynx scents out the door. “You’re going down, Mrs. Tartt.”

“Only one of us is going down tonight, Mr. Tartt, and I can assure you it is not me!”

“You can say that again.” Jamie sticks out his tongue and wiggles his eyebrows at you, and your laughter echoes up into the night sky.

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 15/02/2024

Corridors of Vine

Season 6 Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips: Volume FF

Ripped by Heboyi

Right, okay, we've had a good streak recently of covering more "traditionally good" rips for the blog - arrangements and remixes like NIGHTMARESCAPE 〜Unrestrained HyperCam 2〜 (Final Boss Phase 2), genuinely good arrangements like mlp racism anthem (comix zone arrange), even the premiere of a new Season with the Joke-Explainer™ 7000 Fusion Collab. I think its about high time we change the clock to something "stupider" - the kind of rip that reminds you just how much SiIva is driven by the wild imagination, skill, and commitment-to-the-bit of its contributors. Only within a community like SiIvaGunner's will you get something like Corridors of Vine.

With memes as a whole, there seems to exist some sort of...invisible hierarchy that defines their public perception, that I've always found really fascinating. It's not impossible to understand why this hierarchy exists: Memes like the Hampsterdance in Wario's Hampster Mine, the Sparta Remix in THIS. IS. SOLEANNA. and more call back to a different, more innocent time in internet history, wheras memes like Despacito in Plains of Des-passing-to and It's Everyday Bro in It's Everyday Lake are oft met with comments like "I hate that I love this", or other similar sentiments. Memes generally follow a trend where, once one has worn out its period of inferred relevance - typically once it stops being a niche internet activity and spreads to marketing teams and unfunny people in general - its labeled as "dead" and unwanted, left as a relic of a smaller period of internet activity. That is, of course, unless it gets brought back into fashion by virtue of nostalgia and given some sort of new spin, as we've seen happen with Doge as of late - until that then too becomes co-opted by unfunny people (this time crypto-grifters) and the cycle begins anew. Yet part of what makes SiIvaGunner as a channel so great, is that very few of the memes it uses ever reach that state of abandonment: the team is so good at finding new, inventive ways to use memes as old as from Season 1, to where they rarely feel stale. And if they do feel stale - well, then that can ironically become part of the joke, playing into just how samey and played-out the joke is for a sort of ironic appeal.

All of this is to say, that I always find it immensely funny whenever the team decides - seemingly at the drop of a hat - to begin using memes that have been thoroughly labeled as dead for years by that point. A meme like the Harlem Shake didn't have so much as a pulse by the time Season 6 rolled around even past its sole revival to relevancy a few years back from being attached to Ajit Pai - yet The Harlem Shakeover of that very season was one containing over THREE HUNDRED rips utilizing the joke, next to none of which were made with the intention of sounding bad. Funny enough, then, that one of the first events we'd see during that same Season would be doing the exact same thing to a meme that's likely far more loathed than the Harlem Shake ever was - Damn Daniel, the core joke to Corridors of Vine.

Damn Daniel is perhaps the closest we've ever gotten to having a meme that felt like a social experiment - a complete non-sequitor of a joke starring an average, marketable teen and his immaculate footwear. At the peak of Vine's age of randomness humor, the series of various videos on Daniel's Vans absolutely blew up - and immediately, there were cynics from outside of Vine, older internet dwellers mainly, who made a big point about how lacking-in-funny the videos were. Yet the guy, Daniel, made it onto the damn Ellen Show of all things within mere weeks after his debut, and in a way it kind of made Damn Daniel a symbol for everything considered wrong about Vine: its mainstream appeal and focus on short, memeable videos had created a form of shitposting that...no longer felt like they were part of a community.

That is, of course, just my summary of the opinions I gathered from all the way back in 2016 - back when SiIvaGunner itself was first revving up into gear. And I find it so incredibly befitting that it was during Season 6 that the Damn Daniel event occurred on SiIvaGunner - the Season all about letting go of the past. To have it begin with SiIvaGunner, itself a 2016 meme, acknowledging its near polar opposite made around the same time: A meme that was, for a solid while, one of the most wanted-dead memes of all, one that the internet as a whole frankly felt a kind of hatred toward during what would come to be a rather cynical, hateful year in general.

There's definitely an overarching aura of irony applied to the anniversary celebration's rips regardless, of course - part of the joke with Corridors of Vine is that its using a song otherwise so closely enveloped in emotion and vulnerability (one SiIva itself used to similar effect with 時の回廊 ＜ver. CCC＞), alongside a joke that's so bitterly remembered that its mere inclusion makes it difficult to take seriously. Yet Corridors of Vine takes itself as seriously as the concept could be, it is a genuinely fantastic YTPMV using several of the famous Damn Daniel Vines in conjunction with one another, resulting in an infectiously catchy combination of lead- and backing melody instrumentation. I do think the commitment to the bit worked excellently, and the comments of the video itself appear to agree with me - despite how beloathed Damn Daniel itself was, the time to properly acknowledge and accept it had arrived, and we were for once actually...enjoying the meme?

To circle back to the point made in the second paragraph here - the truth is, there are very few memes that wind up actually full-on dead for long. Dead memes as a concept are a label we put upon jokes we feel have ran their course, yet especially in the world of YTPMV there will always be people out there able to prove the naysayers wrong, even if the intentions are purely ironic. Ironic or affectionate, the end result is the same, isn't it? You've got a smile out of your audience through your work in adapting the meme! And through all the comments expressing their concerns over returning to the hellscape that was 2016s meme culture, those smiles - even through the barrier of the internet, felt as if they were shared by all of us. The entire event - and Corridors of Vine in particular - showed Damn Daniel a sense of affection it likely hasn't had since the days when the SiIvaGunner channel's name began with a G.

Here's to 8 years, Daniel.

...Stussy man, Damn.

[all-the-things-2020]

Late Night Talking - Chapter Nine

Summary: Things don’t go as well when Em takes her turn at Dieter’s new game, and angst ensues.

Rating: R (reference to sexual acts and several f-bombs)

Word Count: 6500

My own attempt at the game was not as successful as Dieter’s. The massage portion went well. It was magical being able to run my hands over Dieter’s body and he truly seemed to appreciate my limited skills as a masseuse. And the second half of the game started out nicely — until I worked my way below his waistline.

”I’m so sorry,” I apologized for the hundredth time. 

Dieter caressed my face. “It’s fine, babe,” he said. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

”It’s just … I used to always gag when the doctor used a tongue depressor on me. I have to be careful brushing my back teeth.” I was absolutely mortified. 

Dieter kissed my forehead. “I get it. I understand. We’ll just put that on the list of ‘not gonna happens’. No biggie.”

It felt like a biggie. I’d tried it once before, years ago, with similar results. The guy in question had made a federal case out of it. We’d broken up not long afterward. 

“I just … wanted to make you happy,” I mumbled.

”I am happy,” he said. “Any time I spend with you makes me happy. And there are still a lot of ways you can make me extra happy.” 

****************************************************************************

It didn’t help that Dieter left on a press junket for his latest movie that Monday. The cast was doing group interviews as well as single interviews, taking turns appearing on various talk shows, and recording promo spots for local entertainment news programs. They were spending most of their time in New York, but would fly to Chicago and a few other cities for media blitzes. It would end in Los Angeles, where they would do the rounds of the West Coast based talk shows and attend the premiere, but that wasn’t for almost three weeks.

He managed to call me most evenings, but we didn’t always get to talk for long. Sometimes he was in between interviews and only had a few minutes to spare; other times, he was back in his hotel room but exhausted from the day and not really in the mood to talk much. I understood, but I missed him.

About a week into the junket, my phone pinged. I picked it up and saw a text from an acquaintance.

Have you seen this?

I tapped on the link and opened a video on YouTube. It was an interview for a New York news outlet, with Dieter and one of his co-stars, a very attractive young woman named Erica, who played his character’s lover in the movie. They were somewhat minor characters, and of course, his character ended up dead by the end, killed by her jealous husband. Dieter was still working his way back to the leading man role.

The video started off innocently enough, with the interviewer asking them a few generic questions about the film. Then they cut to a clip, a steamy love scene between the two of them, which I hadn’t seen before. The interviewer asked if it was hard to shoot scenes like that. Erica giggled and shook her head. “Not with him,” she said. Dieter put his arm around her and laughed. 

I clicked the pause button. I’d seen enough. This particular “friend” liked to stir up trouble, so I wasn’t surprised that she’d sent me this video. 

I put the phone down, then picked it back up. I Googled Dieter’s and Erica’s names as well as the name of the movie and found several more video interviews online. Two were of just the two of them, and while one was innocent enough, in the second, Dieter laid his head on her shoulder while laughing over something the interviewer has said. The rest of the interviews featured the entire cast, and in all of them, he was seated right next to Erica. He had his hand on her knee in one, laid his hand on her arm in another, and leaned against her in a third. 

I closed the browser and put the phone down again. Less than a minute later, I picked it back up again, and pulled up the first video again, the one my co-worker had sent me. I copied the URL and sent a text to Dieter:

explain this?

I had no idea when he’d have a chance to answer. He was terrible about texting, and most likely wouldn’t get back to me until he had a chance to call. It was just after 5:00, which meant it was just after 8:00 in New York, and he’d been getting back to his hotel closer to 10:00 most nights. Or at least, that’s what he’d been telling me when he called me. 

Calm down, I told myself. Wait until he has a chance to explain himself. It was hard, though. It had been over two weeks since I’d seen him in person, and things had ended on a slightly sour note, at least for me . I missed him, and he said he missed me, but …

I tried to watch a movie but couldn’t pay attention. I read the same paragraph a dozen times before giving up and putting my book down. In the end, I just sat and stared at my phone, willing it to ring but simultaneously dreading it.

Finally, just before 7:00, it rang. It was a FaceTime call and I took a deep breath before I accepted.

“Hey,” he said when the app opened. “What did that text mean?” He looked tired, but that day I had no sympathy for him.

“It meant what it said,” I told him.

He frowned. “It’s an interview,” he said. 

“With Erica,” I said.

“Um, yeah, she’s in the movie, too,” he said. “So what?”

“Oh, please,” I shot back. “Just tell me, are you sleeping with her?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he said, “where is this coming from?” He really did look surprised, but I was tired and had been fretting over this for hours and I had the bit between my teeth.

“I’m not blind,” I said. “You’re all over her, and not just in that interview. And I’ve seen the film clips.”

“First of all, I am not ‘all over her’ …”

I cut him off. “I don’t think there’s one interview where you aren’t touching her,” I said. 

“I touch everyone,” he protested. “You know that. Hell, I’m touching Rick in half those interviews. Do you think I’m sleeping with him, too?”

“You aren’t kissing Rick in the movie,” I said.

“Okay, back up,” he said. He was starting to get angry now. “We shot that movie before I ever even met you, so you can’t be jealous about that. And there were probably thirteen people in the room when we shot those scenes, so there was absolutely nothing erotic about it, trust me. Besides, you knew I was an actor, you’ve seen some of my previous work, this can’t come as a surprise to you. It’s my fucking job.”

“Yeah, okay, so you didn’t know me when you shot those scenes,” I shot back, “but you know me now and people are sending me these videos showing you flirting with another woman …”

“I am not flirting with her,” he shouted. “For fuck’s sake, she’s married. I’ve met her husband; in fact, he was here last weekend and he was sitting just off camera for half those interviews. They’ve got two kids.”

“Then why are you acting like that?”

“Because I’m bored as hell with these fucking interviews? Because she’s my friend? Because I miss you?”

I snorted. “Oh, yeah, right, you miss me.”

“I do,” he insisted. “Well, maybe not right at this moment …”

“Fuck you,” I said.

“Hey …”

“Just stop pretending, okay? We both know you can do way better than me, so why do you even bother?”

I hung up before I started crying. I had always known in the back of my mind that this wouldn’t last long. Our lives were too different, and I was nowhere near good enough for someone like him. Our last weekend together had proved that.

My phone rang but I ignored it. After it rang five more times, I turned it off. It wasn’t even 8:00 yet, but I went to bed and cried myself to sleep.

****************************

I avoided my co-workers the next morning, and the day dragged on and on. My eyes were still puffy from crying when I woke up, and no amount of makeup could completely disguise it. Finally, the day ended and I headed home, wanting nothing more than to take a huge dose of ibuprofen for my headache and eat a pint of ice cream, the traditional cure for a breakup.

I had known going in that things with Dieter wouldn’t last. How could it work? He was an A list actor (well, currently B list but working his way back up to the top tier) and I was a nobody. Our lives were too different. Still, there had been moments when I truly thought we could do it, that we could exist in a bubble where he was just Deet and I was Em and Dieter Fucking Bravo was a character he played sometimes.

When I got home, there was a strange car in front of my house, but I figured the neighbors had company and didn’t think anything of it, until I unlocked the door and stepped inside. There was a bouquet of roses in a vase on my coffee table and the kitchen light was on.

“Hello?” I called out tentatively, my phone in my hand, ready to call 9-1-1.

Dieter stepped out of the kitchen. “Hey,” he said softly.

“What are you doing here?” I asked. “I thought you were in New York.”

“I flew home,” he said. 

“What about the press junket?” I knew those things were usually written into the contract when an actor signed on for a movie, and were nearly impossible to get out of.

“Told them I had a family emergency,” he said. “And I’m flying back on the red eye, so I’ll only miss one day of interview hell.”

I shook my head. “That still doesn’t explain why you’re here.” He had a key to my place; maybe he wanted to return it in person and get my key to his place.

“Well, you wouldn’t answer my phone calls, so I figured this was the only way to get you to talk,” he said. “And we definitely need to talk.” He took my hand and led me to the couch.

“I think we said everything last night,” I said, pulling my hand away from him.

“No, you said everything last night,” he said, grabbing my hand back. “You didn’t want to listen to me.”

“There’s not much to say,” I said. “It’s pretty clear it’s over.” My voice caught a little in my throat but I managed to keep myself from crying.

“Why do you say that?,” he asked sadly.

I sighed. “Because it’s true,” I said. “I saw the videos.”

“And I told you she’s married,” he said. “And we’re just friends. I hadn’t seen any of them since we wrapped. These press junkets are stressful and we’re all thrown together for hours and hours day after day.” He took my hand and started stroking my palm. “You know I’m pretty touchy-feely, especially with people I know. That’s just how I am. It doesn’t mean anything.” He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it softly.

“I wish I could believe you,” I said.

“Why not?”

“Because,” I said.

“Because why?”

I guessed I’d have to spell it out for him. “Because look at me! I’m not like Erica. I’m  not a size two, I don’t have perky boobs, I don’t look like I stepped off the cover of Vogue.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” He frowned. “I don’t give a shit about any of that. I don’t want Erica, or some fake-ass model. I want you.”

“Yeah, right,” I said. “I can’t even give you a blow job.”

He grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me. “Listen to me,” he said. “Look at me.” He hooked a finger under my chin, lifting my face so I was looking him in the eye. “I. Love. You. You understand?”

I wanted to believe him. I really did. I said so.

He pressed his forehead against mine. “Sweetheart,” he whispered. “You can believe me. You have to believe me. I love you. I love you so much.”

”But …”

”No buts.” I knew he was being serious because he didn’t make a butt joke. “Sex is great. I enjoy it a lot. But I’d rather be celibate with you than have a fucking orgy with anyone else in the world. Got it?”

“What did I do to deserve you?” I whispered back.

“Hell if I know,” he replied. “I’m still trying to figure out what I did to deserve you.” He chuckled and slid his arms around me. “I missed you so much,” he said in my ear. “These press tours suck. I wish you could go with me, baby.”

“Stupid job,” I said.

“Yours or mine?,” he asked. I laughed.

“Both,” I replied.

“My flight doesn’t leave until 1:00 am,” he said. “What do you want to do until then?”

“Oh, you think you can say you love me and I’ll tumble into bed with you?” I teased.

“Pretty much,” he said, winking. “But you haven’t said it back yet, so maybe I don’t want to.”

I grabbed his chin and held his face still. “I. Love. You,” I said, punctuating each word with a kiss.

“Now was that so hard?,” he asked.

”That’s what she said,” I teased. He laughed so hard he started wheezing. 

“That’s my smart ass girl,” he said once he could breathe again. “Anyone could suck me off, but only you can make me laugh like that.” He kissed me, hard. “Now, how about some dinner? I haven’t had anything to eat since last night. My stomach has been in knots since you hung up on me.”

”Would some In-n-Out be a sufficient apology?”

“You know I’d do anything for In-n-Out, baby.”

”So would I,” I admitted. 

“But I won’t do that,” we both sang, off-key. 

************************************************************************

The day after our reconciliation, I was dragging at work. A student commented that I looked tired, and I wouldn’t have said anything, except Eileen was standing right there.

“Yeah,” I said, “I didn’t get much sleep last night. My boyfriend’s been out of town on business and he flew back yesterday to surprise me. But he had to fly back to New York on a red-eye, so by the time he left for the airport and I got to bed, it was well after midnight.”

I turned to Eileen. “By the way, that reminds me,” I said casually. “I’ll be taking a couple days off the week after next.”

“Oh?,” she asked. Even though she wasn’t technically part of the library team, she was very interested in our comings and goings. I think she even kept a spreadsheet of how often the textbook clerk and I were out so she could complain about our doors being locked.

“Yeah, Dieter’s movie premieres that Thursday, so I’ll need that day off to get ready for the red carpet, and then there’s at least one after party that night, so we’ll probably spend Friday sleeping.” I smiled at her and then turned away to help another student. Take that, you gossipy bitch.

Before he’d gotten into his rental car to drive back to Ontario Airport, Dieter had asked me if I’d accompany him on the red carpet. It wasn’t something we’d planned on doing, but he said that he wanted to prove to me — and the rest of the world — that he was officially off the market. “Taken. No longer in circulation. Unavailable. End of story,” had been his exact words, each one accompanied by a kiss on the tip of my nose. How could I say no?

**********************************

Dieter had gotten back in town Sunday night. The cast had spent every day since doing interviews in L.A. and I hadn’t had a chance to see him, but after work on Wednesday, I drove to his house. He wasn’t home yet when I got there, but I let myself in and rummaged around in the kitchen to see if there was anything worth cooking for dinner. It looked like he hadn’t had time to go shopping since he’d gotten back, though.

I texted him to ask what time he thought he’d be home so I could arrange for food delivery. Surprisingly, he texted right back.

Maybe 7, not sure. If too late I’ll call you. Eat when u want, save me leftovers. Love u.

I opened up GrubHub and browsed through the restaurants that were available. I decided on Chinese food, since that was easily reheated or could even be eaten cold. I placed an order to be delivered at 7:30. If Dieter wasn’t home by then, I’d go ahead and eat if I was hungry.

I flopped on the couch and turned on the TV. He had cable and subscribed to almost every streaming service there was. I opened up Disney+ and started a binge of my favorite old school animated Disney movies. I’d made it to Robin Hood when I heard a key in the door.

“Hey,” Dieter said, his face lighting up. “What are we watching?”

I paused the TV and crossed the room to hug him. “Old Disney movies,” I said. “Dinner should be here in about twenty minutes. Golden Pagoda.”

He kissed me. “Good, I’m starved. Did you remember to get those cream cheese wontons? I love those things.”

“Yes, I did,” I replied. “And egg rolls, and that horribly spicy chicken you love.”

We settled on the couch and he unpaused the TV. “Oh, man, I remember this one,” he said.

“It was my favorite when I was little,” I said. “I had the hat and everything.”

“You aren’t one of those girls who had a crush on the fox, were you?”

I shrugged. “Guilty,” I admitted. 

He shook his head. “What is it with that fox? Is it because he doesn’t wear pants?”

“Half the classic Disney animal characters don’t wear pants,” I pointed out. “Nobody’s crushing on Donald Duck or Winne the Pooh, though. I think it might be the accent. And the hat.”

“I’m gonna get me a hat,” he said.

It felt good to just be together, watching a movie, being silly, and waiting for our food to arrive.

“I’m glad you’re home,” I murmured in his ear.

“Me, too,” he said, pulling me a bit closer. He kissed my cheek. “And I’m glad we’re good.”

I laid my head on his shoulder. I’d done a lot of thinking since our fight and reconciliation. “I’m sorry. I was an idiot.”

“Nah, you were just being human,” he said. “Love makes people crazy sometimes. I’ll probably do some dumb shit at some point, and then we’ll be even.”

We snuggled and watched the movie until the doorbell rang. Dieter fetched the food while I got some plates out of the kitchen and we covered the coffee table with takeout containers. We ate until we were full and there was still a ton of food left.

“This’ll last us the whole weekend,” he said as we packed everything back up and shoved it into the fridge. “Which is good, because after the premiere, I just want to crash for a few days.” He yawned and stretched his back.

I glanced at the clock; it was only 8:35. “What time do you have to be up in the morning?,” I asked.

“We have an interview at ten, so I need to be out of here by nine, so … 8:45?”

“Let’s make it eight,” I said. “I’m not sending you out into the world without a shower and a decent breakfast.”

“But I don’t wanna get up that early,” he whined.

“I’ve got to get up early, too,” I said. “I have an appointment at the spa at ten for a mani/pedi, facial, and something called a seaweed wrap?” I checked the calendar on my phone. “Then home to change, makeup at one, hair at three, and we have to be there at what, five?”

He nodded. “Have you decided which dress to wear?” 

I’d spent the previous weekend with a stylist who had overwhelmed me with designer dresses in a million colors and styles. We’d narrowed it down to three choices, which I’d taken photos of and sent to Dieter for his vote. Annoyingly, he’d said he liked them all and to pick the one I liked best.

“Yeah, the green one,” I said. I stepped into the bedroom and took the dress, in its garment bag, off the back of the door where I’d hung it when I got in. I unzipped the bag and pulled the dress out. It was a deep hunter green satin, sleeveless, with a fitted waist and a deep slit in the skirt. The back of the skirt trailed on the floor in a short train, and there were two drapes of material hanging from the shoulders. It was elegant and simple but the color and the satin made it look horribly expensive, which it was. I’d about fainted when I saw the price tag, but the stylist had assured me we were only renting the dress and anyway the designer was giving us a break on that just to get her name out there. 

“I even got you a little something,” I said. The stylist had rummaged around in her closets and found a silk tie that almost exactly matched the color of the dress. I pulled it off the hanger and handed it to Dieter.

“I love it!,” he said. “It’ll go great with my brown suit.” He disappeared into the bedroom and I heard him digging around in the closet. He reappeared with a gorgeous chocolate brown suit that I hadn’t seen before.

“Where have you been hiding this?” I asked. 

“In the closet, duh,” he replied. I smacked him and fingered the fine wool cloth. “I bought it in New York. Bespoke splurge. We are going to look so good tomorrow,” he said.

************************************

I had been poked and prodded and pampered until I wanted to scream. At first it had been fun, lounging in a chair while three different aestheticians worked on my hands, feet, and face, but then I’d had to go lie in a hot room with slimy layers of seaweed wrapped around my body to “reduce puffiness and draw out the toxins.” I was sweaty and gross by the time the spa attendant came back for me and shoved me into a freezing cold shower “to shock the system and kickstart the metabolism.” 

I barely had time for lunch — a salad with no dressing and cucumber water; spa cuisine sucks — before heading back to Dieter’s place to get dressed. He’d arranged a driver so I didn’t have to worry about traffic, at least. I struggled into the Spanx and uncomfortable push up bra the stylist had made me buy, then gingerly put the dress on, afraid of tearing it. It had been altered to fit me and while that made it look much better, it meant there wasn’t much leeway. I’d just gotten into it when the doorbell rang and I shuffled to the door, holding up the long skirt that dragged on the floor when I was barefoot.

It was the makeup artist. She schlepped in several tackle boxes of supplies and a fancy lighted mirror. She set up a workstation in the kitchen, spreading her things out all over the island. 

“Okay, sit down, relax, and let me do my magic,” she said with a grin. She swathed me in a sheet and clipped my hair back away from my face. The kitchen chair wasn’t the most comfortable seat in the house but every time I squirmed, she gave me a look and I did my best to sit still while she powdered and painted and blended and smudged and plucked away at my face. Every once in a while, she’d frown a little and get out the makeup remover and start over.

Finally, she nodded. “Voila,” she said, turning the mirror so I could see what she’d done.

Holy shit, I thought. That can’t be me. I looked like I’d stepped off the cover of a magazine.

She laughed. “Yeah, the magic of makeup,” she said. “You wouldn’t recognize half the women in Hollywood if you saw them without professional makeup. The photographers are going to eat you up.”

She was still packing up her things when the doorbell rang again. She motioned for me to stay seated while she answered it. The hair stylist bustled in, hauling her own array of equipment.

She moved me to the kitchen stool, which was taller than the chair, and draped me in a tie-dyed cape. She spritzed my hair with water, and started to blow it dry, working it with a round brush. She paused, worked in some mousse and went back to work with the hair dryer. Next came the curling iron, then the hair dryer again, then the curling iron yet again. She sprayed me with hairspray until I sneezed, then kept fussing and teasing and pinning and curling until I was ready to scream. Finally, she seemed satisfied and gave me a hand mirror. 

My hair fell in soft, sexy ringlets around my face. The sides were swept up just a bit and held with glittery bobby pins. I had insisted we not do any color or add extensions, but it was amazing what she’d been able to do with my hair. My gray streaks looked like fancy highlights and my hair had a bounce to it instead of just hanging there like it usually did.

“You like it?”

“I love it,” I said. 

She packed up and left, just as Dieter was coming home from his last round of interviews.

“Wow, you clean up good,” he said when he saw me. 

“Shut up and get dressed,” I told him. “We have to leave in forty minutes.”

He laughed and disappeared into the bedroom. He’d had his hair done that morning before the interviews, but I’d probably have to fix it before we left, since he had a bad habit of running his hand through it and messing it up.

Twenty minutes later he reappeared in the brown suit, with a tan shirt and that vibrant green tie. He hated wearing a tie, and I knew that by the end of the evening it would be in his pocket and he’d have the top few buttons of his shirt undone, but for now he looked like a proper grownup.

I slipped on my shoes (beautiful strappy heels that were incredibly painful after five minutes) and found my purse. It was a tiny clutch that barely held my eyeglasses but I knew that if I didn’t take them with me I’d have a headache by the end of the movie. I could see without them, but I very rarely took them off. Walking the red carpet without them, and in brand new heels, was going to be an adventure.

“Ready?” Dieter offered me his arm and I took it.

“As I’ll ever be,” I said. 

***************************************

“You look amazing,” he said softly when we were tucked into the back of the town car. The partition was closed, so the driver couldn’t see us as Dieter kissed my neck.

“Stop it,” I chided him. “You’ll mess up my makeup.”

“That’s why I’m kissing your neck,” he said, trailing little kisses down from my ear to my collarbone. “I’ll mess up your makeup later.”

“This isn’t fair,” I complained. “I can’t kiss you back because I’ll smear my lipstick.”

“Mmm,” he hummed, face buried in my throat. When he was done, he lifted his head and said, “Life’s not fair, get used to it.”

“I hate you,” I said with a laugh.

“No, you don’t,” he said. “You love me. You said it and you can’t take it back.”

“You’re in a good mood,” I said, fixing the stray strands of hair that were falling into his face. 

“It’s almost over,” he explained. “These promo tours and premieres are a pain in the ass. We do the red carpet, watch the movie, go to the party for a while and then we’re done.” He threw his head back and laughed. “We can just relax for a while. I’m turning my phone off this weekend, it’s just you and me and all that Chinese food.”

I laid my head on his shoulder, careful not to disturb my hair too much. “That sounds wonderful,” I said. My feet already hurt and I was counting the minutes until I could get out of those damnable Spanx.

We arrived at the theatre. The studio had gone all out, booking the Chinese Theatre (formerly known as Grauman’s; we were both old enough to think of it as that) in Hollywood. Our car pulled up to the curb and a smartly dressed young man opened the door for us. I slid out as gracefully as I could and waited for Dieter to climb out after me. There were hundreds of people lining the walkway to the theatre, which was actually covered with a red carpet, albeit one that had seen some use. There were a few threadbare spots and stains scattered over it but it was still nice.

“Dieter!!” Fans were screaming his name as he emerged from the car. 

“Show time,” he whispered to me before turning to the crowd with a brilliant smile and starting to wave at the fans. “Just follow my lead,” he said out the side of his mouth.

We walked slowly along the red carpet, as fans shouted and cheered. Some had signs, others waved autograph books or photos or Cliff Beast action figures at him, begging for a signature. I watched him as he graciously acknowledged everyone he could, signing things, asking how to spell names so he didn’t make a mistake. I just stood beside him, my hand tucked into the crook of his elbow, mostly ignored by the crowd.

When a young woman asked for a selfie, he obliged, even though it meant I had to let go of him. She giggled and kissed his cheek while they took the picture. He looked up at me and winked. I rolled my eyes and he laughed. “Get in here,” he said, pulling me into the next selfie, his arm tight around my shoulders.  After that, he declined any more selfies, except for a young boy with a Cliff Beasts t-shirt and the hairless head of a cancer patient. We stopped and chatted with him, took several pictures, and I asked his mom for their address, which I typed into my phone while Dieter was moving down the line. 

“I’ll make sure he gets something really cool,” I promised the boy’s mom, who had tears in her eyes. Then I hurried to catch up with Dieter; we were almost to the wall of cameras, as he’d called it.

There was a huge backdrop covered with the logo of the movie, the name of the studio and several sponsors. Opposite it was a horde of photographers, all jockeying for position to get the best shots of the arrivals. “Here we go,” Dieter said as we stepped into the line of fire.

Photographers were shouting his name, all trying to get him to look directly at their camera. Others were calling out directions. “Turn to the left! Look up!” An assistant gently guided us to the first of several marks on the carpet, predetermined places where the photographers could get good shots. I’d been practicing poses in the mirror, trying to keep my chin up so my neck looked longer, turning my body slightly so they would get a three-quarter angle, smiling until my cheeks ached.

“Look at me!,” one photographer shouted.

“Look at her!,” another demanded. 

“Look at him!”

“Look at each other!”

I was confused and Dieter laughed. “Just do whatever the hell you want, they’ll figure it out,” he said. He ducked his head down and kissed me, very lightly so as not to mess up my lipstick too much, and I heard a barrage of shutter clicks. “That’ll make ‘em happy,” he said.

We finally made our way past the gantlet of photographers and into the lobby of the theatre, where everyone was gathering to wait for the doors to the auditorium to open. Dieter dragged me over to meet the director, and one of the producers. “Always talk to the big shots first,” he’d told me earlier. “You have to do a fair amount of sucking up in this business, even with people who don’t like suck ups.”

We exchanged pleasantries, Dieter’s arm comfortably around my waist. I knew I was just there for decoration.  This was part of his job, and my job was to smile and nod and shake hands and make him look good.

Then we walked over to Erica and her husband. Erica was wearing a gorgeous beaded dress that skimmed over her curves and shimmered when she moved. Her husband was in a navy blue suit with a spotless white shirt and a navy tie.

“Hey!” Dieter said, hugging Erica and shaking hands with her husband. He introduced me and I shook hands with both of them. It was a bit awkward for a moment, but then Erica took over.

“It is so good to finally meet you,” she said to me. “He would literally not stop talking about you the entire press tour.” She tucked her arm through the crook of my elbow and leaned in. “I’m sorry about the interviews,” she whispered. 

“It’s okay,” I told her. “I overreacted. I’m new to all this.”

“You’ll get used to it,” she said. “He really is crazy about you, you know. You have nothing to worry about.” 

She let me go and Dieter and I moved on to chat with some of the other cast members. Finally the auditorium doors opened and we were ushered inside to our seats, then the rest of the audience was let in. Friends and family and others with sometimes extremely vague connections to the studio and the cast filled out the audience. Dieter and I both put on our glasses as the lights dimmed and he pulled my hand into his lap, playing with my fingers as the movie started.

I really couldn’t pay attention to the film, between my aching feet, the Spanx that made it difficult to take a deep breath, and Dieter doing things to my hand that made me look forward to the weekend.

After the movie ended, Dieter and the other cast members had to go up on the stage, while the director, producers, and several studio execs gave speeches.  Finally, we were free to go, but only to drive a few blocks down the street to the party venue. As I predicted, once we were in the car, Dieter undid his tie and unbuttoned the top three buttons on his shirt.

“Not fair,” I said. “I don’t have anything to undo.” I squirmed as my Spanx started to ride up and give me a wedgie.

“We could skip the party and go home,” he said.

“You know we can’t,” I said. There would be more photographers at the party and more people to schmooze with. 

He sighed. “Yeah, I know, but we don’t have to stay too long, I promise.”

The party was loud and without my glasses on, I quickly developed a headache, but I gallantly followed Dieter around and smiled at everyone while I sipped on a weak drink. I couldn’t blame them for watering down the drinks, because these people were hard drinkers. I watched one studio exec down seven drinks in the space of an hour.

Finally, Dieter whispered, “Ready to go?”

“I’ve been ready,” I whispered back. He smiled, and pulled out his phone to text our driver. We slipped out and dodged a few die-hard photographers before piling into the back seat of the town car for the ride home. The car had barely pulled away from the curb before Dieter was shrugging out of his suit coat and I had my shoes off.

“Oh, that helps,” I said, rubbing at the blisters and pressure spots on my feet. Dieter pulled my feet into his lap and started massaging them. It was sweet but also an excuse to slide my dress up so he could run his hand up my thigh. It didn’t take long before I was in his lap and half my lipstick was on his face and throat.

When the car pulled up in his driveway, we stumbled out and into the house. 

“Get me out of these Spanx,” I said, throwing my shoes into a corner. I never wanted to wear them again. Dieter obliged, helping me carefully take off the dress. I wrestled myself out of the shape wear and unfastened my bra. They joined the shoes in the corner of shame.

We left a trail of discarded clothing from the front door to the bedroom until we finally collapsed onto the bed. “Can we just run around naked for a few days?,” I asked, as I stretched, exhilarating in the freedom to just breathe and move without the constriction of foundation garments.

“Sounds good to me,” Dieter said. He started to pull me close but I shook my head. 

“I’ve got to get this makeup off before we go to bed or I’m going to ruin your pillowcases and my face will be a mess,” I said. I staggered into the bathroom and scrubbed at my face with cotton pads and makeup remover. By the time I got back to the bedroom, Dieter was asleep, sprawled on top of the comforter. 

I pulled the pins out of my hair, laid them on the nightstand, and crawled into the bed. I tugged at the covers and shoved Dieter around until I had him under the covers as best I could. I didn’t want him to get cold during the night. It was still warm during the day but the nights were starting to get chilly this close to the ocean. Finally, I gave up when he was mostly covered up and let my own head drop onto the pillow. There would be plenty of time to fool around during the next three days. Right now, what we both needed most was sleep.

[trkstrnd]

the 911verse has this tendency to fit as much drama into the last little bits of something and may i just say i’m tired of it,,, these storylines need to be fleshed out and given the time and attention they deserve. why make the season premiere last three episodes and cram everything with amir into the 7th and 8th? it makes no sense, because while we still got bobby lore, it seems so rushed, like the showrunners are afraid they’re losing our attention so they snap their fingers in front of us to get us to eat it up. this whole eddie thing should have been resolved last week, and springing the henren thing on us immediately? For something most of us have forgotten about? save that until you wrap something up! otherwise it becomes a big jumbled mess of angst with no redeeming qualities. characters can have separate arcs by themselves. having bad things happen 24/7 to everyone is what this show runs on, but all of it happening within the last 10 minutes of the episode? you put so much time into the set up that the execution doesn’t have time to see itself through.

oh but that’s what the season finale is for!

narratively, and just hear me out for a second, we don’t need four plots to be resolved in one season finale.

not to mention, lone star’s s4 finale dropped a huge bomb IN THE MIDDLE OF IT that left more mess to clean up, and it wasn’t even cleaned that well!!

please, if anyone in the writers rooms are seeing this, i know the network is money hungry and wants drama, but just try to set up these bombshells a little earlier, layered, please, i’m begging.

the only good thing i have to say about tonight’s ep is bobby being nice to buck about tommy, buck calling eddie out on his bullshit, and athena calling bobby out on his.

okay rant over i’m just so sick of this formula guys cmon switch it up !!

[emilykaldwen]

Huzzah! Chapter 16 is done! (except for the cute Daeron and Floris moment that'll be quick, I just don't know how to word it.

I'll make the announcement on this week's chapter, but I'm taking hiatus early - so this week's chapter is the last until May (and then we have 6 chapters left. Maybe 7 depending on if I feel we need more breathing room) So this'll take us to the S2 premiere in June, and then we'll launch right into The Princess and the Dragon Knight, which will pick up immedietly after the end of this arc. (I'm still going to refer to this whole thing as Maiden, since that's the series name as a whole).

I just didn't expect us to get S2 in June. I had hoped to have some time to take another month off, but well, here we are, and I want to be able to start posting Arc II while the show is airing and we're all excited and in it. Luckily, summer is slow at work so that's nice too.

Gonna spend the next month and a half doing what I did during november break, and that's writing as much as possible/getting words down so I can then polish up the chapters in post. Which does work pretty well. Before I started posting Maiden, I had eight chapters written.

I do well working on a schedule, it keeps me accountable, I like having goals that feel tangible. It's why this isn't one whole story, and instead broken up into three parts. I like the feeling of accomplishment (and your own mileage may vary). Especially because these three arcs are so largely different, there's so much going on.

I am pondering about putting a link to a google form up for a little Q&A. If not for the story itself, but any questions on writing long fic and stuff?

Anyway, thoughts for today. I feel accomplished. Now to work on Aemond's chapter.

Happy Sunday!

[denimbex1986]

'There was something wonderfully familiar about Saturday's first Doctor Who 60th anniversary adventure "The Star Beast" with David Tennant and Catherine Tate returning as the Doctor and Donna to battle an alien threat on the streets of England. So should fans expect more of the same from this week's episode "Wild Blue Yonder"? Apparently not.

Doctor Who showrunner Russell T Davies reveals that, just before speaking with EW, he was watching video from the show's official podcast, whose hosts had just seen the episode. The executive producer delightedly reports that they were left shaken by the experience.

"It’s like watching three people in shock, it’s one of the greatest experiences of my life," says Davies, who is himself returning to Doctor Who after more than a decade away. "They’re supposed to be people who have opinions, and attitudes, and sass, and they’re just sitting there wide-eyed at the shock of what they’ve just watched."

Several aspects of "The Star Beast" were well-publicized ahead of the premiere, including the return of Tennant and Tate, the casting of Yasmin Finney as Donna's daughter Rose, and the appearance of a seemingly adorable alien called "The Meep." Almost nothing is known about "Wild Blue Yonder," which suits Davies fine.

"We’re trying to keep it secret until transmission," he says. "Can we do that in this day and age? Is that remotely possible? So far! So far we’ve managed it. Even the very first scene is a surprise."

The showrunner does tease that the show is "a much more weird story, it’s set far away from earth, it’s a very mysterious episode. It’s a bit weird, it’s scary, it’s freaky, it pushes the show into areas it’s never quite been into before."

Tennant is similarly delighted that the show's creators have successfully managed to keep the nature of the episode a secret.

"It was the only [show] where we didn’t leave the studio," says the actor, of the second special episode, which will be followed by a third anniversary show, "The Giggle," the following week. "Usually, on Doctor Who, you end up announcing things because you’re going to be filming them on the street, because you know you will be observed. Doctor Who fans are very enthusiastic. If you’re filming Doctor Who on a street corner, it will often end up being photographed for the newspaper. So it was weird to be handed the opportunity of an episode that was entirely inside, and therefore we had the very rare thing where we didn’t have to announced any of it before hand, so we didn’t. Nobody knows almost anything about that episode, which is so rare in the world of Doctor Who, where every detail is craved by the audience, and it often leaks ahead of time. It’s rather joyous to think that nobody knows what’s coming. I feel it would be churlish to change that."

Can Tennant tease anything about what we will see on the show?

"Um, what can I tell you, what’s a nice little teaser?" he says. "There’s a very fun scene with an apple very early on!"'

[warningsine]

Thousands of protesters have gathered in Melbourne, Sydney and Adelaide for pro-Palestinian rallies, after a week of tension between organisers and authorities in New South Wales, while an invitation-only rally in Brisbane mourned Israeli dead.

In Melbourne, police said about 10,000 people met at the State Library of Victoria in solidarity with Palestinians.

Meanwhile, protesters also gathered in Sydney's Hyde Park for a static rally despite being denied official approval by NSW Police.

The brutal attack on Israeli villages near Gaza last week, in which Hamas terrorists targeted revellers at a music festival and kidnapped children and grandmothers to be held as hostages, killed more than 1,300 people and left 3,200 injured.

Israel has launched a series of air strikes that has flattened parts of Gaza City and left at least 2,200 dead and more than 8,700 injured. A further 54 Palestinians have died in the West Bank, with 1,100 wounded there.

During Sydney's rally, event organiser Fahad Ali said the "world could no longer turn a blind eye" to what was happening in Gaza.

"We saw earlier this week the premier of New South Wales said don't come to this protest. Well, there are thousands of people here."

Flare let off in Melbourne

In Melbourne, the protesters marched from the library, through the CBD streets and to the state parliament, where police were stationed ahead of time.

"We will remain in solidarity, and we will continue to show up and stand with you our brothers and sisters in Gaza until liberation," a speaker at the rally told the crowd.

The sentiment was met with cheers and chants for the freedom of Palestinians.

"The Palestinian people are not going anywhere, and neither are we," the crowd was told.

Speakers expressed concerns about impending attacks on Gaza and ongoing blockades against Palestinians.

While the protest was largely peaceful as it moved through the city, aerial footage from the event appeared to show a flare being let off in the crowd.

A small scuffle then broke out between protesters and the officers who moved into the crowd to put out the flare.

In a final speech to the crowd outside parliament, a Palestinian woman told the crowd her people felt "pain, anger, outrage, betrayed".

The crowd shouted "shame" as she said that blood spilled in Gaza was considered "less than".

In a statement, Victoria Police said the rally had progressed with no major incidents.

"Our top priority was keeping the peace to ensure the event did not impact the safety of the broader community," they said.

"We will continue to retain communication with all communities which have a strong interest in events unfolding in the Middle East."

Rally held in Sydney's Hyde Park

Sydney's rally drew thousands of people after organisers pushed ahead with the event despite comments from NSW Premier Chris Minns and senior police, who urged for it not to go ahead.

On Friday, Acting Commissioner David Hudson said NSW Police was considering authorising the use of "extraordinary" powers to search and identify protesters ahead of the rally.

It followed a protest in front of the Sydney Opera House earlier this week where racial epithets were chanted by some attendees.

Organisers said in a statement that anti-Semitic language, like phrases chanted by a group at Monday night's protest, was not welcome. 

Police said about 6,000 people attended the rally, which was closely monitored by hundreds of officers.

No arrests were made and no injuries were reported.

Assistant Commissioner Tony Cooke said across the broader Sydney region there were more than 1,000 police on stand-by.

"I am pleased to say that people listened to the message that we would provide a very strong policing presence to ensure that the behaviours we saw last Monday, were not repeated," he said.

"People listened to their own community, so for that I am thankful."

Attendees at Hyde Park waved Palestinian flags and held signs saying "end the Gaza blockade" and "Gaza ceasefire now". 

Indigenous Australian, Palestinian, and Jewish speakers addressed the crowd. 

Speakers at the event also included Federal Greens Senator Mehreen Faruqi, who took aim at the lighting of the Opera House sails in the colours of the Israeli flag last Monday night.

"Which landmarks were lit up in the colours of the Palestinian flag in 2014 when Israel bombed civilians from one end of Gaza to the other?" she said.

"Where are the colours of the Palestinian flag when civilians are being killed right now by the Israeli bombing?"

Rally attendee Dialah El Madi said the NSW government had used "scare tactics" to try and stop the protest.

"We live in Australia and we have a right to demonstrate peacefully but unfortunately, the politicians and Chris Minns have tried to employ scare tactics by giving the police draconian powers," she said.

"I know they're not exercised yet … that's made people feel that the government is trying to deter people from coming today and standing up for justice."

Assistant Commissioner Cooke said police had not made a decision about whether another planned protest next Saturday would be given the go ahead but based on today's event, he said things were "certainly encouraging".

'We will look at each application and consider it on its merits in the circumstances," he said.

Police also did not need to use special stop and search powers.

"There were no arrests, no offences were committed, it was largely peaceful."

Adelaide shows solidarity

Thousands also marched through Adelaide's city centre in solidarity with Palestinians fleeing war-torn Gaza.

Community leaders speaking at the rally called for a peaceful march and condemned violence against all civilians.

Hamad Mahmoud from the Australian Friends of Palestine Adelaide called on Australian Federal and State governments to stop being complicit in Israel's ongoing violent occupation of Palestinian territories.

"To the leaders of Australia, if there was no ongoing occupation, there would be no violence and you know that," Mr Mahmoud said.

"If there was no daily brutal oppression there would be no violence and you know that.

"Values and solidarity with innocent people should not be selective."

The protest saw a heavy police presence.

Other speakers also called for a boycott of Israeli state leaders and an end to the dehumanisation of the Palestinian community in media and international policy.

Support for Israel from Brisbane

Hundreds of people dressed in blue and white and carrying Israeli flags attended a peaceful rally at Roma Street Parkland in the Brisbane CBD.

Police and security officers guarded the perimeter of the invitation-only event.

There were lots of tears, hugs and prayers, as people mourned the many lives lost and those still missing.

The event featured speeches from the Jewish community and local politicians, with more than 1,300 people dead, Jason Steinberg, President of the Queensland Jewish Board of Deputies said the tragedy was still unfolding.

"We are gathering to mourn the tragic loss of life that occurred in Israel over the last week, with the murder of innocent Jewish people on a scale which we haven’t seen since the Holocaust."

Eighteen-year-old Brisbane woman Ruby Melkman arrived home from Tel Aviv on Saturday.

She had been living and studying in the country since January, and said she was on one of the last flights out of Tel Aviv before the airport closed.

"It was chaos, and over the last week we were running to different bomb shelters every few hours, it was a very, very scary situation," she said.

"I'm very happy to be home and very upset with everything that is happening in Israel.

Emily Dekel, 18, spent the past nine months in Israel. She said she was still in shock and trying to process what was happening.

"It was very, very tough, we had rockets flying above and we were running to different shelters constantly," she said.

"I'm devastated by what's happening, it's awful and shocking to see, but I'm relieved that I'm safe and home now."

[alaffy]

Only Murders in the Building Ep. 3x01 and 3x02 -  The Show Must Go On/The Beat Goes On (Spoilers)

Normally, I don’t combine episodes.  But the first two episodes are setting up where the series goes from here and, honestly, probably could have been cut down and made into a long 45 minute episode.  Still funny, but probably the weakest of the premiers.

We start where the last seasons ends with the death of Ben.  We also learn more about Meryl Streep’s character.  She’s an actress who keeps being overlooked until Oliver sees something in her.  So, Ben dies.  Oliver decides to hold the cast party at his apartment anyway, because we need to get everyone to the Arcadia.  There we find out that Mabel hasn’t seen much of Charles and Oliver and suggests to Charles a new season of their podcast to solve Ben’s murder.  We find out that Charles was dreading the play.  We find out that Oliver and Meryl Streep’s character might have an attraction to each other, but haven’t acted on it.  Oh, and we find out Ben’s not dead.  Yes someone tried to kill him, but he survived and is able to come to the party.  And during that scene we’re basically given a who’s who of suspects and possible motives.  Ben, who’s now living at the Arcadia, leaves the party and goes up to his apartment.

Later, Charles and Oliver meet up with Mabel as they’re planning on going to the diner.  Mabel announces that her Aunt has sold her apartment, which means Mabel will have to move out.  The three talk about making sure they stay in touch as they get on the elevator.  Charles makes a comment about the fact that they couldn’t have made the podcast about Ben’s death as he didn’t die in the apartment building (we know what happens next).  Suddenly, blood starts to drip on Charles’ face, the three scramble out of the elevator, and Ben’s body crashes through the elevator’s glass ceiling. 

So, Ben is dead.  Really dead.  And Oliver is about to lose his show.  Oliver wants to talk to the producer’s but they’re stonewalling him.  Oliver thinks he can talk to them at Ben’s funeral.  However, as the three get to the funeral they find they aren’t in the main room.  Mabel talks to a man who says he was Ben’s security and that he has files on those who would do Ben harm.  Meanwhile, Oliver causes a distraction using Charle’s phone and sneaks out of the room to get to the main area of the funeral.

Oliver tries to sneak in but sees a theater critic who he’s known for years.  He asks if the producers are in the main area.  She confirms they are, but are upset.  Oliver tries to convince the critic to show the producers her review of the play (she had seen a preview before opening night).  The critic let’s Oliver know that It wouldn’t have helped as she actually panned it.  She says that she didn’t feel like it was “singing” like Oliver’s other shows.  She leaves Oliver alone and he ends up having a heart attack. 

Meanwhile, Charles and Mabel have gone with the security guy to see the files.  It turns out that he’s a stalker and he knocks them out.  He chains them up in his basement.  We find out that Mabel is fascinated with Ben because of a show he was on.  After her dad died, her mother locked herself in her bedroom.  Mabel was left to fend for herself.  She kind of escaped into this show and then one day realized that her mother also was watching the show in her room.  Mabel said that during that period that show made her able to laugh with her mother, even if it once a week in different rooms. 

We also learn that Charles had a hellish time with Ben, but it was because of something Charles had done.  When Ben was eight years old, he was hired to be on Charles’s show; but during a table read Charles convinced the producer to fire Ben.  This, of course, left Ben with a whole lot of self doubt and anger.  And he wanted to make Charles miserable while they worked together on the play.

Anyway, the stalker comes in to kill Charles and Mabel as he believes they killed Ben.  Mabel realizes that the stalker has a handkerchief of Ben’s.  Specifically, Ben had special handkerchiefs made for all of the cast and crew for opening night.  They all have the same pattern, but only people who were at the show should have them.  The stalker reveals that he was able to get into…actually, I don’t remember where he got it from…only that it would have been Ben’s personal handkerchief and it had to have been before Ben was killed in the Arcadia.  Anyway, the police burst in (as they had been following the stalker) and we meet the new detective for this season (Who’s name I can’t remember).

Meanwhile, Oliver is at home resting after a minor heart attack.  He’s told that he has arrhythmia and has to wear a heart monitor on his chest.  He’s also told to cut out his stress, which basically means give up on his play.  Instead, Oliver has a weird fantasy of Mabel, Charles, and his son singing and decides he should turn the play into a musical.

As they go up to Oliver’s apartment, Mabel tells Charles she doesn’t think the stalker killed Ben.  She then shows Charles the photos she took of Ben’s body in the elevator.  In his hand, is one of the handkerchiefs.  But, as he had lost his, that must mean that Ben took it from whoever killed him.  They get to Oliver’s apartment.  Oliver tells them he’s going to turn the play into a musical and they tell Oliver that someone in his show killed Ben.  Oh, and they’re going to revive the podcast.  Oliver immediately has heart issues.        

[richonnefan50]

Saw someone speculate on the timing of all of this “final season “ and I agree some things feels a little off about it all. While they have talk about getting to at least a season 6 in the past in recent interviews tho cast and the three guys who created the show had been more ambiguous on where the show could go. I remember William always had the same answer when ask how far the show could go with “ it all depends on how many more opportunities they get to continue it” and the creators recently said the same thing with claims they had more seasons (plural) already plan out in a recent interviews just a few months ago .I feel this has more to do with Netflix vs Sony making another KK film . One of Xolo posts were worded weird to where he wrote “I hope we get to do more of these” this was a few weeks after season 5 had premiered. Make me wonder if the cast didn’t know until recently where things were going .

Netflix been canceling things left and right and weird things going on behind close doors with that company I can’t help but wonder if Netflix is the reason . Of course we will never know . And some things did seem rushed last season . Like that Miguel father storyline I felt was written to be bigger and last season it just concluded so quickly and kinda fell flat . Which was odd cause it was this big cliffhanger for the season 4 finale just to not even be a major impact for season 5. Like it feels like they wanted to do more with these characters but for whatever reasons didn’t or couldn’t 😕. The Robby and Miguel kiss and makeup storyline also felt kinda rushed and Xolo also kind of threw shade at how quickly it was all resolved in an interview too lol . Season 5 felt like a rushed season that I think was shot purposely to tied up any loose ends quickly cause they weren’t even sure if they would be granted more opportunities to do more seasons (damn you Netflix 😒). So yeah I feel there was some push and pull to even get a season 6 is cause Netflix being a hard ass.

Never mind the promotion for season 5 also was odd. Compare to prior seasons (I love seeing Ralph and Billy together so I was so bummed we didn’t get any Entertainment Weekly cover /photoshoot like before 😭😭😭). Netflix social media did a terrible job at promoting it .Idk everything felt rushed . And we do know Netflix made them churned out season 5 more quickly then they usually would have done to fill that Sep premiere date which I hated cause it like we got 2 seasons in one year really .The whole thing didn’t feel organic to me. And have no idea how they gonna tie the tournament, Carmen and Johnny having a baby,and Kreese revenge arc all into one season let alone a final season . In only 10 episodes that are all half an hour 🥴. Can’t help but feel all those storylines are gonna be rushed and uneven as well . Unless Netflix allowed them to make some episodes longer like they did with Stranger Things😕🤷‍♀️. I also feel like if they always knew and planned for this to be the last season it wouldn’t take this long to announce it .

Idk anyways I smells some BS going on here

😭😭😭

[adultswim2021]

Squidbillies #20: “Rebel with a Claus” | December 25, 2006 – 12:00AM | S02E14

In this one, Early shoots down Santa Claus. His crime? Not giving Early the present he asks for every Christmas (the still-beating heart of Nascar racer Jeff Gordon). He and Rusty have him tied up in a chair. They kill and skin his reindeer and torture Santa. The elves try to rescue him but they also get brutalized. And that’s basically the one joke of this one: Santa is viciously brutalized by the Cuyler’s. It might as well be an episode of Happy Tree Friends. 

I really hate this one and find it mostly unfunny. The main joke is not just the violence, but also mocking movie/crime show tropes. The Elves here are shown having tactical gear, and operate as a militarized unit on Santa’s behalf. That’s a fun choice, but none of it makes me laugh. I also appreciate Dave Willis’ performance as Santa. He is the official Santa of Adult Swim, as far as I’m concerned (eagle-eyed viewers will remember that he played Santa in Aqua Teen Hunger Force and, I believe, Space Ghost Coast to Coast! Maybe other places!). It also evokes horror movies like Saw, or Last House on the Left, portraying both Early and Rusty as being unrepentant, dangerously violent hillbillies. I guess that makes this episode conceptual. It doesn’t make it funny. I don’t know, it just doesn’t suit this show too well, despite the fact that unpleasant humor is sorta this show’s bread and butter. My least favorite episode so far.

That’s it for Squidbillies for now! Isn’t that nice??

ANNOUNCEMENT! PLEASE READ!

For various reasons, I’ve decided to postpone Space Ghost week, ever-so-slightly. Longtime readers (all six of you), know that I’ve adopted the custom of taking a break from Adult Swim when I complete a calendar year so I can tackle a different season Space Ghost Coast to Coast. But I’m going to wait until we get through January of 2007 before I do Space Ghost week. That’s because...

1. I could use a little time to catch-up on creating a backlog of posts that will make the task easier, and I’m in the middle of a holiday weekend as of this writing and might actually be able to. I couldn’t do this in time because of various calamities.

2. Technically speaking, the final episode of the 1997 season of Space Ghost aired in January of 1998 (January 1, to be exact), so why not mirror that as well?

3. If I go through January, I will complete the rest of the runs for all the current shows we are covering, and come February Adult Swim will be refreshed with new premieres of new shows and feel more like a new beginning than an interruption.

Three good reasons! Well, one good reason, the other two are symptoms of some sort of brain problem. But still, they had numbers next to them. You have to admit that.

EPHEMERA CORNER

End-of-the-year Marathons (December 25-31, 2006)

At the end of 2006, Adult Swim ran several marathons several nights in a row. Until the end of the year, as a matter-of-fact. They were:

December 25: The Venture Bros December 26: The Boondocks December 27: Robot Chicken December 28: Squidbillies December 30: Bleach December 31: Metalocalypse For these nights they forewent their usual custom of airing the block and repeating it again, in order to show more episodes of shows. In Squidbillies and Metalocalypse’s case they partially repeated some episodes, but the desired effect was to have the entire series up to that point air in a row. I remember recording these and making DVDs from them. It was very handy at the time!

MAIL BAG

lisa lisa mailbagger here: lol I was literally referencing that complication album hit, I tried looking for it on youtube but had no success. A lot of those albums even if they were 80s themed had such ambiguous names it makes them impossible to search. If only discogs had a section for those collections.

Oh WOW. Yeah, I remember discogs had a thing where you could search for songs to see what releases it appeared on, but that was in beta and I think they removed it for being bad. I have a strong suspicion that those commercials turned up a lot on MTV. Just download some Beavis and Butt-head Moron-a-thons and go through ‘em.

mattpanreblogsstuff writes:

The fact that in the DOOM bumps you can see an ornament of Bloo (from CN's Foster's) in the corner while DOOM is getting completely wasted. Godly combo.

I never notice that! I remember watching these bumps at least a couple times and admittedly didn’t rewatch them when I posted that video. Also I didn’t really watch Foster’s Home that much, but what little I saw was great, and I should probably watch it. 

[oswlld]

Reveal Your Watch and Rewatch List

tagged by @jemmo & @talays-portkey ♥♥♥ (tyyy, was tagged all the way back in august, this has been a long time coming) having done this in apr and in july; i told myself that if i was tagged again, i would do my next update in october so ta-daa

watching

andor (eng, s1) — the only show i am currently keep up with week to week. it’s brilliant, utterly brilliant. the three-episode model keeps the writing/action/tension contained, keeping me in this welcoming chokehold until the very end of the season. that is how you keep your storyline moving, for a 12-ep season, without it feeling dragged out. and the story itself has a low, raging rumble against this very real world backdrop. i just want to exist in this world forever, peeling away all the layers of the rebellion and the empire. stripping all that we have known about the force and everything that the existing franchise builds on until all that’s left: empirical fascism and oppression. and we are being gifted this fantastic premise with a character that can’t narratively die. because we already know his fate. this description is in all lower case, but you best believe i am screaming this the whole way through.

somebody feed phil (eng, s4) — this and the below show are two that i have been watching slowly, splicing up all the episodes between when i started in the summer to the end of the year. i am tackling this show one season a month, which is always a breath of fresh air in between all the dramas i have scheduled. phil is an absolute delight to watch and the choice of locations are so well thought out. i already have a trip to plan for nyc in the near future due to this show. i dread the day i run out of episodes to watch…. oh no lol

guardian (cmn, s1) — as i said prev, this is also a show i have split up my time through the year, tackling this show 10 eps per month. I have seen 20/40 so far and it’s great so far! to me, its very reminiscent of shadowhunters (a prev jessi hyperfixation). if you give me mediocre vfx + found family trope, i will eat it all up i love it so. and the two leads go from 0 to work husbands by the second epsiode, i love that for them. they have such amazing chemistry and like somebody feed phil, i will mourn the day i finish this show.

planning to watch

glitch (kor, premiere) — as i write this, i will be starting this show in the evening. osmosis went HARD on my dash lol i mean, the premise and the vibes are all there. i am going into this blind, only with the knowledge of the two actresses having great chemistry together. the space/alien aesthetics are just a bonus. can’t wait to find out what it’s all about, stay tuned.

werewolf by night (eng, movie) — this is also a last min decision to do, esp for halloween night. when i heard about this show, i wasn’t sold on the concept until i saw that gael was the lead and directed by michael giacchino. the man who has gifted us with the ost for LOST and Up! directed a marvel movie????? i am all in. and this all before knowing anything about the plot.

sleep with me (fil, s1) — my first filipino show sched on my watchlist YAYYY!!! for me, it’s such a hard sell to make me watch a filipino series. but this one really peaked my interest, it also being the first gl for me to tackle this year. i know lovi from the one that got away, so im excited to see what she’s like here. hope there’s more filipino content on my radar in the future. the only other show i have on my deck is gaya sa pelikula but have not determined a date for it. maybe summer 2023??

after this show, i do not have any new bl/gl’s on the calendar for the rest of the year. I am waiting for osmosis to kick in for anything coming up. feel free to check out what i do have on deck, thru jan 2023.

rewatching

bad buddy (thai, s1) — i originally planned for a rewatch by myself at the last week of the year, marking the one year anniversary when i started watching this show. it always marked the beginning of my bl/asian drama journey, so it felt right to get this on the calendar for me. sometime ago, i was informed that the fandom was planning a rewatch in october, so i immediately reshuffled my entire rest of the year to accommodate for it lol. what else is there to say, im returning home.

vice versa (thai, s1) — and in replacing my original plan, of rewatching bad buddy at the end of dec, i have now scheduled vice versa. its my birthday week, ofc i want to see my son and my solemn face moonchild. i miss them. SO. MUCH. ugh

-

tagging @pranink (nice to finally meet you!), @suppaloscurse (for the emotional turmoil she put me thru this past weekend), and @casualavocados (what are you up to over there?)

[themovieblogonline]

"Cuckoo" Is Cuckoo at SXSW on March 14, 2024

The International Premiere of Writer/Director Tilman Singer’s film “Cuckoo” took place on Thursday, March 14 at SXSW. It’s a delightfully weird horror thriller written and directed by German director Tilman Singer. It stars  Hunter Shafer (“Euphoria”) and veteran character actor Dan Stevens (Matthew Crawley on “Downton Abbey,” “Colossal” at SXSW with Anne Hathaway in 2017.)  It will release in the U.S. on May 3rd. When Stevens left “Downton Abbey” in 2010 it created a stir. At the time, addressing the departure to make “The Guest” Stevens said, “OK, what I really want to do is a twisted action thriller black comedy with horror elements. Preferably with an American accent.” Sounds like “Cuckoo,” only with a German accent.” Stevens shared during the Q&A that he only joined the cast of “Cuckoo” three weeks before the shoot began (May 11, 2022). Speaking fluent German to Director Tilman on the phone may have helped him win the role. PLOT The synopsis provided by the “Cuckoo” team said: “On a trip to the German Alps with her father and stepmother, Gretchen (Hunter Schafer, HBO’s “Euphoria”) discovers that the resort town where they’re staying hides sinister secrets. She’s plagued by strange noises and frightening visions of a woman pursuing her. Soon, Gretchen finds herself pulled into a conspiracy involving bizarre experiments by the resort’s owner that echo back generations.” SHADOWS Gretchen Vanderkurt (Hunter Shafer) has just lost her mother---I think. Whether Mom is dead or simply alive and not answering phone messages is never fully explained (like many other plot points in the film.). The “trip” seemed to be a permanent re-location in Gretchen’s life, especially since her father announces he has sold the house she lived in with Mom. That’s why I assumed Mom was dead. That could be right. Or it could be wrong. Who knows? “Only the Shadow knows,” for sure (a very old radio reference). And there were some uber-creepy shadows in this one.  Maybe we can ask one of the shadows chasing Gretchen as she rides her bike through the forest late at night ---a particularly creepy scene---for clarification.  I mention the very old radio reference, because there is no definitive time set for this movie. It could be today; it could be any decade between 1940 and the present. Again, don’t know; can’t tell you. Just go with it. PSYCHOLOGICAL TERROR The German trip, for Gretchen, is not a happy one. She doesn’t seem particularly fond of her mute half-sister Alma (Mila Lieu) —at least, not until guns come out in the over-long film finale. Her father Luis (Marton Csokas) seems much less interested in his teen-aged daughter than in Alma. Our sympathy goes out to Gretchen. The crowd applauded when Gretchen finally struck back at Dad. At one point, Gretchen denies that Alma is her “sister,” saying, “She had her chance at getting a sister, but then she ate her.” This leads to a discussion of vanishing twin syndrome in the womb. That’s a discussion which seems right at home in this odd 102-minute horror thriller. It gets stranger when the writer/director admits that he was inspired by a cuckoo documentary. We learn that Gretchen’s father and his second wife Beth (Jessica Henwick) honeymooned at Alpshatten Resort eight years prior. (*Plot clue). They are returning to discuss more construction projects with Mr. Konig (Dan Stevens), the resort owner, who is Luis Vanderkurt’s (Martin Csokas’) boss. ALMA Upon arrival Mr. König takes an avid interest in Gretchen's mute half-sister Alma (Mila Lieu). The little girl is having seizures. Mr. Konig suggests that Dr. Bonamo (Proschat Malani), Superintendent of the Chronic Disease Treatment Facility nearb, check out the little girl medically. Perhaps Alma is epileptic? Something doesn't seem quite right in this tranquil vacation paradise. The odd customers checking into the resort, the loopy behavior of Mr. Konig, the strange employees like Trixie (Greta Fernandez) fit right into our suspicion that, as Shakespeare said, “something is rotten in Denmark” (or, in this case, Germany).  The people repeatedly vomiting in the lobby, the scary woman offering oozy goo to other women--- also mysterious creepy plot points. Use your imagination. Enjoy the ride. WRITER/DIRECTOR TILMAN SINGER The 36-year old German director (Leipzig, Germany) previously directed the indie film “Luz” for “less than 50,000 Euros ($54,478.10). Tilman’s vibe is best summed up by The Shining.” Then combine a blend of David Lynch and David Cronenberg. For those of us who faithfully followed the antics of the Log Lady (and others) on “Twin Peaks” from 1990-1991, “Cuckoo” was less a revelation than a return to form. Eccentric weirdness, well-executed with German panache. Singer shared that the film “all started with a feeling.” He mentioned the cuckoo bird’s odd habit of laying its eggs in the nests of other birds and abandoning the offspring. Said Singer, “That made me very sad. All the host birds die. There was a kind of beauty to it.” Cue the spooky music, and the sound is a huge component for this film. Star Dan Stevens said, “Filmmaking is an exercise in collective madness.  We all believed in this madman,” alluding to Writer/Director Singer.  LOCATION Shot near the Belgian border at an abandoned British Army base, the entire movie gave lead actress, Hunter Schafer (“Euphoria”) a feeling that was “just like summer camp.” She described being in the forest with an abandoned town near the Alpschatten Resort from May until July of 2022.  Alpschatten is the source of a series of medical experiments supervised by the evil Mr. Konig, played to the hilt with campy verve by veteran actor Dan Stevens (Matthew Crawley on “Downton Abbey,” “Colossal”at SXSW in 2016.). THE GOOD The film is very original. It repeatedly uses sound creatively to enhance and create horror. There are scenes that are re-run, shown back-to-back two and three times, with shaky camerawork. Director Singer credited his cinematographer Paul Faltz with suggesting and implementing the technique. Dan Stevens and Hunter Shafer are quite good. Hunter Shafer has to carry the film as its emotional anchor. She is the psychologically traumatized daughter of a negligent father and still suffers from missing her mother. By film’s end the 5’ 10” former model looks about as injured as humanly possible to be and still survive. Shafer gives the part 110% as its imperiled heroine, anchoring the loopy plot. There are weird touches like a pulsing throat, photographed in close-up, that are novel. Said Dan Stevens, “I remember being really freaked out by the throat.” It apparently was a large piece of artificial throat that was periodically wheeled in to be  photographed. THE BAD Some of the minor parts. Including the mysterious menacing woman, are not as good as the two leads. Other characters, including those that are supposed to convey menace, were either not well-chosen or not made up effectively enough. The concept is original. Various means of conveying the story were novel. The claustrophobic sense of dread growing from the creative visual and aural touches add to our sense of danger and impending doom. (Examples: the bicycle riding sequence; the bathroom sequence with Gretchen; a car crash scene). Some of those portraying the mysterious and monstrous villains of the plot are either so average-looking or so poorly made up that you yearn for better-looking (or better made-up) protagonists.  The plot---despite attempts to explain it along the way--- is often incoherent.  Here is one  half-hearted narrative attempt to provide a plot that makes sense:  “In nature, modern man kills some species by our disregard. Some species need our help to survive.” CONCLUSION:  The Q&A emcee called the film “a cinematic smorgasbord.”  Synonyms for “smorgasbord” include “muddle” and “jumble.” Only time will tell whether the promising touches in “Cuckoo” lead to films that retain this one’s originality with more clarity. One thing is for sure: Writer/Director Tilman Singer has followed the local First Commandment: “Keep Austin Weird.” Read the full article

[atlanticcanada]

Shortage of daycare spots causing panic for some Nova Scotia parents

A Dartmouth mother of 11-month-old twins said she's left panicked and scrambling to find daycare after losing the child care spots she had secured and paid a deposit for.

Kayleigh Fleet said that when she began applying to daycare centres when she was 20-weeks pregnant with her twins it became clear that demand in the Halifax area was much greater now than it was when her stepsons, aged 11 and 8, were getting enrolled in daycare.

That's why in November 2022, Fleet said she was thrilled when she secured spots for her two babies at a Kids & Company centre. She said she paid a deposit of more than $2,000 and was told that two spots for Aug. 1 were secured. Fleet said she was especially happy to have found a daycare with extended hours that would allow her to return to work as a longshoreman at a nearby container pier.

“It was great, it was like the stars aligned,” Fleet said

When Fleet reached out to the child-care centre in early June, just over seven weeks out from the planned start date, she was told the spots were not available at any of the three nearby Kids & Company locations and her deposit would be returned.

“I was just completely panicking,” she said.

Fleet has so far not had any luck in securing new child care that works for her family.

“I'm hoping something comes up, but if not … I'm hoping that I can pay for a private nanny until something comes up,” she said.

“But I'm at the point now where I’m asking myself, do I stay home with my kids and let my bills fall behind?”

Sue Purser, chief operating officer for Kids & Company, said in an email Thursday the centre is experiencing challenges with limited available spots.

“We feel really badly about this parent not having access to child care with us and are actively exploring solutions to increase child-care spaces to address the demand for care,” Purser said in an email.

Last June, Education Minister Becky Druhan said the province would create 1,500 new daycare spots within six months — by the end of 2022 — funded in part by a $605-million daycare agreement between the province and the federal government.

A Department of Early Childhood Education spokesperson said 1,319 new child-care spaces have been created in licensed centres and family homes since July 2021 — though 884 spots have been lost due to centre closures.

“This gives us a net increase of 435 spaces,” Carole Rankin said in an email.

Purser said the recent rollout of new federal child-care funding has had an “overwhelmingly positive effect, but it has quickly disrupted the way we manage our child-care spaces.”

Until recently, Purser said the centres have been able to accurately predict how long most children will remain in care, meaning facilities can register new families accordingly.

The new federal program, which is set to gradually reduce child-care costs to reach $10-a-day by March 2026 “has impacted the average time children are with us, meaning fewer spaces for new children are available,” Purser said.

In a statement on July 18, the Nova Scotia NDP’s education and early childhood development spokesperson Suzy Hansen criticized the government’s lack of action in addressing child-care challenges.

“We hear from people every week about the stress they’re under trying to find child care for their children,” Hansen said.

“The premier and his Minister of Education make lots of promises, but when it comes down to it, very few new spots have actually opened, and many have closed for good. They have to do more to help operators grow and keep their doors open, and help parents find the affordable child care they need, in their community."

Rankin, on behalf of the Education and Early Childhood Development Department said "we know Nova Scotia is in high demand for child-care, and we are just getting started."

"We are working on an updated expansion plan to add more child-care spaces across the province."

from CTV News - Atlantic https://ift.tt/RF2Iorz

[stillunusual]

Leeds United: Meslier, Ayling, Cooper, Roca (McKennie 57), Bamford (Rutter 67), Harrison (Greenwood 83), Adams, Struijk (Firpo 67), Sinisterra (Summerville 57), Gnonto, Wober.

Subs not used: Robles, Aaronson, Kristensen, Joseph. After sending Cody Drameh and Joe Gelhardt out on loan for the rest of the season, Leeds United made one more new signing prior to this game - a promising young central defender called Diogo Monteiro, who is 18 years old. It was looking like a very good transfer window until, at the last moment, Diego Llorente made a surprise move to Italian side AS Roma, which immediately created uncertainty about who was going to play against Forest instead of the suspended Robin Koch. Fortunately Liam Cooper was fit again, so we started off with a back four consisting of three left footed centre backs and Luke Ayling.... Rodrigo picked up an injury against Accrington Stanley that will keep him out for a couple of months, so Patrick Bamford started in his place and played for the first 67 minutes before being replaced by Georginio Rutter. Neither of them had much influence on the game. It's great that Leeds United vs Nottingham Forest has finally become a Premier League fixture once again, but the way things are going it probably won't be for much longer because it looks like they're staying up and we're going down.... This was a typical Leeds game in that we played reasonably well but let ourselves down by not taking the chances we created and shooting ourselves in the foot with defensive mistakes. We had enough scoring opportunities in the first half to be comfortably ahead, but Luis Sinisterra, Willy Gnonto, Luke Ayling and others were not clinical enough in front of goal. Nottingham Forest scored with their only shot of the first half after Pascal Struijk gave away a stupid free kick. In the second half we seemed to run out of ideas and although Forest didn't pose much of an attacking threat, we never looked like getting the equaliser. In his post-match interview Jesse Marsch made the same old excuses he's been repeating week after week, but his spiel is starting to wear really thin. Although Leeds somehow managed to get eight points from four games in August, we've only managed 10 points since then, which means we've been the worst team in the league for most of the season, and there are no signs of improvement. If we can't even get a result against Forest, it's difficult to see where our next point is coming from. We're now in 17th place and only goal difference separates us from the bottom three. Any other club in our position would have sacked their manager by now. Several other clubs who were at the wrong end of the table have done that already and improved. So how much longer are the Leeds board going to sit on their hands while watching the team underachieve over and over again? Our next two league games are against Manyoo - first at Old Trafford and then at home - so it's hard to believe we won't be in the relegation zone after those....

[cheritzteam]

[The Ssum] 3 Merchandise Celebrating the Grand Launching

Hello, this is Cheritz!

We have 3 weeks left until the grand launching of The Ssum: Forbidden Lab... Are you excited for the daily life you’d get to spend with your special ssum-one?

We heard that the staff of the Forbidden Lab are dying to have you take part in their experiments on relationships...

And here is a secret we have brought for you...

(whisper) The Ssum application comes with the latest high-tech A.I. that specializes in relationships.

This is what the A.I. looks like.

*The rumor says you can open its belly... (Some of you would probably remember PIU-PIU from the soft launching of the app. Apparently it has gone through multiple renovations ever since.)

Find out the wonders this fella can perform as you exploreThe Ssum application. :)

And here is the main news we have brought you...!

<Merchandise Celebrating the Launching of The Ssum>

Mystic Messenger has attracted countless users with its game contents as well as a variety of merchandise.

Likewise, we have brought you merchandise celebrating the grand launching of The Ssum!

*No pre-order available (the merchandise can be purchased once the application is released on 11th of May)! *Every merchandise for premiere sale comes with limited number of products, and you must wait until the restock is complete once the merchandise is sold out.

1. PIU-PIU’s Love Bundle

This package includes a journal to be completed over 100 days as you spend time with your very first special ssum-one. Try filling in your journal as you play the first 100 days of The Ssum! It comes with pictures, a letter, and the original soundtrack, as well as a bonus item that slightly boosts the features of subscription to The Ssum. You do not want to miss this chance if you wish to subscribe to The Ssum! *Some coupons are available for use only when you use the paid features within the game, so please take caution with your purchase.

2. U-U Plaster Set

Use this Love Band designed with Teo’s face! It will soothe your aching heart with fluttering softness!

3. PIU-PIU’s Shield

In case you are caught in waves that interrupt your heart-fluttering chats with your special ssum-one, call upon PIU-PIU! The three PIU-PIU’s will keep your chats safe.

Please note that we have made available the package that provides a discount in case you purchase all the merchandise listed above. And please refer to the Cheritz Market to find out more details about each merchandise!

We have yet to see the grand launching of The Ssum, but we hope you could feel the excitement prior to the event. PIU-PIU and your special ssum-one cannot wait to finally meet you in the game. And we hope that the time left until the grand launching will keep you excited, even for little! :)

Thank you.

-Cheritz-