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radawaycunt · 4 months ago

Text

Memento Vivere

Also on AO3

Part I // Part II // Mini-Series Masterlist

Pairing: Lucius Verus Aurelius x Fem!Reader

WC: 4.1k words

Summary: Rome is in disarray. Macrinus has been trying to seize power and therefore, he decides to use you as collateral. But Lucius won't let him win so easily.

Warnings: MINORS DNI this fic is 18+, canon events with canon divergence (so, potentially spoilers), graphic depictions of violence, mentions of blood and death, abduction, angst (but there's a happy ending!), reader is a courtesan (SW), fluffy smut, unprotected p in v, 69, typical roman wedding customs, some historical inaccuracies potentially, aaaand i think that’s it! But lmk if anything else.

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"Love conquers all; therefore, let us submit to love."

–Virgil.

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The pounding came late at night, when the moon had disappeared in preparation for the dawn. The raucous sound startled you awake from a dream you immediately forgot, leaving you dazed and slightly panicked. Prima, your chambermaid, hastily draped a cloak over your shoulders and accompanied you to the front of the house to investigate.

The iron gates seemed to shake from the sheer power of the knocking, as if a battering ram was being used. The courtyard was shadowed except for a few small torches and in that moment, you couldn’t help but believe anything could be lurking in the darkness. Gallus, who guarded the entrance, motioned with one hand for you and Prima to stay where you were.

Fear curdled icily in your stomach and you clutched Prima’s arm as Gallus undid the giant latch that held the gates closed. He partially opened one of them, but as soon as he did, a trio of brawny men barreled inside.

One of them, quick as a flash, drew his sword and drove it into Gallus’ chest. He let out a gurgling sound and collapsed, immediately dead. Prima screamed, but you were frozen in shock, a sob clogging in your throat. The other two men started to menacingly make their way towards you, quickly closing the distance.

You shoved Prima back towards the hallway, stepping in front of her protectively.

“Run,” you urged her. “Save yourself!”

She hesitated for a moment, but then her self-preservation instincts took over and she darted into the darkness of the house. Luckily, none of them pursued her, but they weren’t there for her, after all.

The two men reached you, each clutching one of your arms and dragging you to the entrance. Your heart was pounding like a war drum in your chest, everything coming into sharper focus as adrenaline kicked in. You couldn’t bring yourself to ask who they were or where they were taking you, too afraid they might become more aggressive.

Outside the gate, there were a few more men holding torches, all of them surrounding a man on a pale horse. The rider removed the hood of his cloak and it was none other than Macrinus, Lucius’ master.

“A little bird has told me that one of my gladiators holds you in high regard,” he said by way of greeting, his smile a thin veneer of friendliness. “My champion, as you might recall…”

You dipped your chin in assent, knowing it was futile to lie. His men were restless as if waiting for an excuse to intervene, and you wouldn’t give it to them if you could help it.

“Well, as it happens, I am now in need of some help keeping him in check,” he said, his words less like an invitation and more of a command. “If you would be so kind as to come with us.”

You swallowed hard, nodding once more. “I-if I may ask… Where are we going?”

“Oh, you needn’t worry about that.” He waved off the question dismissively. “You’ll be perfectly safe in my care.”

You hesitated for a moment before inclining your head, trying to seem polite despite the tremor in your voice. “Of course, I–thank you.”

He held out his heavily ringed hand for you to take and swiftly pulled you onto his horse in front of him. You cast one last fretful glance back at your house as if to commit it to memory. What if you never returned?

No, you couldn’t think like that. You’d do whatever it took to see things through and come out alive on the other side. You could play the game… Whatever it was. But if Lucius was on the line, what exactly was expected of you?

“Hold on tightly, now,” Macrinus said close to your ear, making your skin crawl. “Wouldn’t want you to fall.”

He spurred his horse into a wild gallop, the darkened streets of Rome blurring together as they flew past you. The sun was just beginning to rise in the horizon, slowly bleeding crimson and gold.

It could be no coincidence that just the day before, General Acacius had been executed by the Praetorian guard after Lucius had chosen to grant him mercy. You couldn’t be sure what either of them was planning, but Lucius had to be enough of a threat to warrant some collateral. Perhaps Macrinus even thought you might have some idea of what his next move would be.

Anxiousness knotted in your chest as you stared straight ahead. Perhaps if you played your part well enough, you might not just save yourself, but you might also help Lucius, too. All that was left to do was wait.

—-----------------

Outside, the Roman populace was rioting. The fires throughout the city had doubled after the fate of Queen Lucilla was announced. It was no surprise, given their adoration for her and the former General Acasius. That was working in her and Lucius’ favor, but it was also working in Macrinus’s, if things went according to his plans. Things were in a rather precarious position in Rome. Emperor Geta was already dead, and nobody was too keen on the idea of Caracalla having sole power.

Lucius and his mother met a few days prior to form a plan to defeat Macrinus, and they relied on the element of surprise. Lucius hadn’t summoned you in some time, wanting to keep you away from danger, but he had still tried to send you a couple of messages with Ravi. Much to his dismay, though, he had received no response. He feared that you might be angry at him, but it wasn’t until Viggo boasted about your capture, taunting him, that he found out the truth.

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Lucius drove his sword into the face of the man who had tried so hard to break him on the training grounds. He could endure his attempts to humiliate him, the sharp bite of the whip tearing open his back, and the leering grins at his suffering. But he could not bear the thought of him laying a single hand on you.

And still, even after killing him, his rage was not quelled. It would carry him through the rest of the day, like a purifying, righteous flame.

His fellow gladiators disposed of the rest of their captors, and now they waited to enact Lucius’ plan. He stalked out on the sand, approaching the sacrificial altar where his mother and the senators who had conspired with her were tied. Senator Gracchus was among them, his hunched form and frightened expression like a dagger piercing your heart. Queen Lucilla, for her part, kept her chin raised high, a serenely dignified expression on her face. She would not go down afraid in the face of her enemies.

Lucius looked to the Emperor’s box and momentarily halted in his steps as he spotted you. Beside you, Macrinus smiled, wide and cruel. He had deliberately kept you hidden until that moment, when he knew it would be an irresistible distraction to Lucius. You tried to shake your head imperceptibly, but you knew it’d be impossible for him to see at such a great distance.

A scream threatened to crawl up your throat, but you stayed perfectly still, your expression neutral. You could betray nothing in that moment, or it might cost you both everything. Fortuna, I beg you, bless him with your favor once more…

Lucius’ rage was incandescent, blazing through him like sunlight itself. Everything else seemed to disappear and he became like the edge of a well-honed blade – the vision of the god Apollo. He raised his sword and pointed it directly at Macrinus – both a promise and a threat. Only one of them would still live by the end of the day.

The master of ceremonies announced what the games would consist of – Lucius would be the sole fighter to defend his mother and the senators from the Praetorian guard. They rode into the arena at the sound of trumpets, the thunderous noise of horses' hooves pounding on the sand reverberating through you. Your vision went dark for a moment and you thought you might faint, but then you felt an arm slip around your shoulders.

“I want you to watch closely now,” Macrinus said, voice low and close to your ear. “This is what happens to those who go against my will.”

You watched as the soldiers circled closer and closer. An archer among them loosed an arrow that pierced through Senator Gracchus’ throat, blood spurting from his mouth like a gruesome fountain. You whimpered, feeling like air had been punched out of your lungs. Tears rapidly welled in your eyes as your patron fell to his knees, dead within seconds. Macrinus’ grip on your shoulders tightened, gripping your chin with his free hand when you tried to glance away.

At his throne, Emperor Caracalla clapped excitedly over the first death of the spectacle. His pet monkey climbed onto his shoulders, chittering anxiously at all the commotion. With one last menacing look, Macrinus let go of your shoulders and stepped behind the throne to get a better look. Beneath your cloak, your fingers brushed over the small knife you’d stolen from the kitchen at Macrinus’ estate. You sent another prayer to Nemesis, goddess of revenge, so that your hand wouldn’t falter if you were forced to use it.

In the arena, Lucius jumped onto the platform where his mother stood and let out a fierce roar, raising his sword in the air. His battle cry was echoed by the dozens of gladiators that suddenly flooded the arena, immediately engaging the soldiers in a fierce melee.

Mayhem ensued as the crowd grew wild and rapidly uncontrollable. The people surged forward like a tempestuous tide, fighting back against the Praetorian guards who were meant to keep things under control. Macrinus saw his opportunity in the chaos and slipped a needle-like knife into Caracalla’s ear, killing him. His monkey leaped away, terrified, and lost itself in the commotion.

You stumbled backward, aghast, as Macrinus took the bow of the guard nearest him and fired down into the arena. Unthinking, you unsheathed the knife for protection and fled while he was still turned away. You heard his furious scream and his pounding footsteps in pursuit of you, but soon you were met with the angry Roman mob.

You glanced over your shoulder, weighing your options, and decided your chances were better if you lost yourself in the crowd. You fought your way through, not letting anything or anyone stop you. Your heart was racing and your breaths were coming out in harsh pants, but no one really paid attention to you. You were jostled and thrown about, but that seemed to be the worst of it.

Macrinus gave up pursuit rather quickly, instead stealing a horse and fleeing towards Ostia, where he would meet his fate. As for Lucius, you had faith in his strength, in the fury that drove him forward. The best thing you could do was find somewhere to hide, at least until things settled down some. He could not have any more distractions now, in the most crucial moment.

And so, you ran.

—-------------------------------------

Countless hours later, after defeating Macrinus in a duel where the fate of Rome was at stake, Lucius revealed his true identity, his grandfather’s ring back on his finger. But he did not stay long to revel in his victory, instead riding back into the city at breakneck speed. He searched the busy streets for you with the desperation of a man who had already lost everything, but was not willing to go through it again. The rage was dissipating into panic, but he wouldn’t let himself succumb to it.

You were praying in a small temple of Fortuna when you heard his hoarse voice calling out your name, the sound growing closer. You threw off your hood and dashed into the street, seeing him in the near distance atop his horse, frantically looking about. Relief at seeing him alive, though bruised and bloodied, flooded through you. You could almost fall to your knees in gratitude, a great weight lifting off your shoulders.

“Lucius!” You called out, waving your arms above your head so he may spot you. “Lucius, over here!”

Finally, he saw you, his expression nearly crumbling with relief. People moved out of the way to let him through, curiously taking in the scene. By the time he reached you, you noticed your face was wet with tears, but you were unable to stop smiling. He let out a breathy laugh, overjoyed, and pulled you onto his horse. He caught you halfway and kissed you deeply, not stopping even as you murmured thank you, thank you, thank you against his lips like a prayer.

Then he seemed to remember where you were, with dozens surrounding you, and he knew he had to get you out of there. He leaned his forehead against yours for a moment, barely able to believe his immense fortune. He mentally thanked anyone who might be listening for bringing you back to his side, and he kissed the tip of your nose.

“I told you you’d be the first one I’d run to,” he said, helping you settle in front of him. “We must go, the streets are not safe yet.”

You nodded, pressing closer to him. You didn’t even need to ask where he was taking you, for you would go with him anywhere. To the ends of the earth and beyond, until you were just two shades in Hades, indistinguishable from one another.

He spurred his horse, navigating it up the road and away from the more condensed areas of the city. Soon the cloying smell of smoke and the constant shouting disappeared behind you like a distant nightmare. The clean mountain air revitalized you, finally making you feel a little more at ease. We really did it. We made it through.

When you reached the outskirts of the forest near a cliffside, he finally stopped. The view was breathtaking, the sunset seeming to stretch on infinitely, painting the entire sky in swaths of orange and pink. It was quiet except for a soft breeze, with no one around for miles to intrude in your little pocket of paradise. He dismounted first, but you jumped into his arms before he could help you down, practically tackling him to the ground.

He laughed and you kissed him, letting him roll you onto your back on the bed of grass. Hands roamed over each other’s bodies with a certain urgency, ascertaining your solidity. You arched against him and he clutched you to him as if his life depended on it, moving to kiss your face and neck.

“I should have known,” he said, his anger self-directed. “I should have done more to keep you safe, I-”

“No use dwelling on what could have been when I am here now, safe in your arms.” You caressed his hair gently, trying to soothe him.

“But what if you weren’t?” he said, stopping to look at you. “I would never forgive myself for it. I would have followed you immediately.”

“Lucius, please…” you tried to protest, but he turned his face to kiss your palm, laying it against his cheek. “The threat is gone. You have defeated Macrinus. There is nothing to fear.”

For a moment, there was torment written on his features, like a long-buried memory had come to haunt him. His eyes scanned your face, searching for comfort in your loveliness — the delicate curve of your cupid’s bow, the slope of your nose, the fan of your lashes against your cheekbones when you blinked. Your gentle gaze, especially, and those soft lips that curved in a smile whenever he was around. He could never grow tired of looking at you.

For the first time in a long, long time, he could see a future ahead of him, waiting with open arms. Without you, it was just not there, and that was why he was still so distressed. He couldn’t fathom being separated from you and he had been foolish not to realize it sooner. He had been stubborn about his feelings, thinking it was better to keep you at arm’s length just to save you. And all for what?

“What is it?” You prompted, gently smoothing out his frown with your fingers, bringing him out of his thoughts.

“Will you marry me?” He asked.

You immediately sat up, making him pull back with you. You opened and closed your mouth, shocked beyond words. For a moment, you even thought you had imagined him asking that. His eyebrows raised slightly, nervous but expectant.

“Marry you,” You repeated breathlessly, blinking at him. “You want to make an honest woman out of me, is that it?”

“Not just that.” He chuckled. “But an Emperor’s wife, too.”

Your eyes widened. “What?”

He showed you his ring, which featured the profile of Marcus Aurelius, his grandfather. Every last piece of the puzzle seemed to click into place then, but it would take some more time for it to fully sink in. You stared at the ring, completely awestruck, and bent your head to kiss it as if by reflex.

“Lucius, I… Is this what you really want?” You asked, not letting go of his hand. “I am just not sure that I’m, you know…”

You couldn’t bring yourself to say the word worthy, but he caught your meaning anyway. His fingers squeezed yours reassuringly, making you look into his eyes.

“I have never been more certain of anything,” he said. “I would argue you are deserving of better than me. I am not a man without faults, or history, as you well know.”

You shook your head as if he was foolish to worry about such things. It wasn’t like you didn’t have any faults or regrets of your own. You’d already had enough sleepless nights being tormented by them, as you knew he had been. No person had nothing they wouldn’t like to be forgiven for.

“Well, you are plenty enough for me,” you said softly. “Faults and all.”

“As are you,” he said, returning the gesture of worship and respect by kissing your hand. “I want nothing more. I need nothing more. Just you.”

“Then it is no question, really.” You smiled, on the brink of tears again. “I will happily marry you, Lucius Verus Aurelius.”

Finally, the dark cloud lifted from his expression, and his smile was even more beautiful than the sunset coming to an end behind him. Now it was him who tackled you back onto the ground and you thought he might devour you, his lips intent on not leaving one inch of your skin unkissed.

—-------------------------------------

The ceremony was kept small and intimate, but you wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. It was an auspicious June day, warm and pleasant, with no clouds in the sky. The air was perfumed with the smell of fresh cut flowers, as there were dozens of arrangements set up all around. Fountains babbled in the gardens, accompanying the echo of your excited voices.

As was custom, Lucius chased you around the halls of the palace in a mock kidnapping. You could not stop laughing, exhilarated, a thrill dancing down your spine any time you looked over your shoulder to see him giving chase. When he finally caught you, he threw you over his shoulder and carried you to a lectus that overlooked the gardens.

Your veil and wreath came off first as he laid you down on the plush cushions, hair fanning out over them. You helped each other out of your clothes, eager to have nothing between you. When Lucius’ toga was off, you admired his body, running your hands over the hard planes of his stomach and up to his chest.

He cupped the back of your neck and brought your lips to his greedily. The slide of his warm skin against yours was heavenly, only making you want more and more of him, forever. It was still surreal that what had so recently become a dream of yours was now a reality. You would always thank Fortuna for that.

But that made you remember something you’d been wanting to bring up, except there had not been any opportunity before. You hoped it wouldn’t ruin the moment, but it could wait no longer.

“Lucius?” You said between kisses.

“Yes, my love?”

You pulled back to look him in the eye, setting your hands on his shoulders.

“Um,” you began nervously, swallowing hard. “I know what our duties are but… Would it be so terrible to enjoy our marriage by ourselves just a little while longer?”

He caught your meaning immediately, nodding reassuringly as he placed his palm on the small of your back.

“I am in no rush if you are not,” he said without hesitation, not minding the idea one bit.

He’d been having similar thoughts about it for the past couple of days, anyway, and he was glad you’d been the one to bring it up. You smiled at him gratefully, sighing with relief. His eyes dropped to your lips once more, their lure nearly irresistible.

“My wife is a greedy little thing, wanting to keep me all to herself.”

You chuckled salaciously as he ran his thumb over your bottom lip. “Can you blame me?”

He shook his head, watching as you teasingly bit his thumb, licking the pad of it. He let out a breathy groan and you pushed him onto his back, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses down his chest. His hips jerked as your lips passed his navel, and with the flat of your tongue, you teased the velvety underside of his hard cock.

You heard his sharp intake of breath, followed by him sighing your name. You continued to tease and lick him, making him whimper, his eyes pleading for more when you looked into them. You took him into your mouth and his head tipped back in pleasure, exposing the column of his throat.

“Come here,” he rasped deliriously. “I need to taste you, too.”

You complied with no protest, only extricating yourself to reposition. You swung a leg over his head to straddle his face, leaning your body forward so you could take his cock in your mouth once more. His tongue lapped at your inner thigh, which was glistening with your arousal. You shuddered, moaning around him.

You pushed your hips back as he traced the tip of his tongue through your folds, groaning at the taste of you. The tips of your fingers brushed his sac as you sucked on the sensitive tip of his cock, and he felt as if he might go wild at that moment.

His fingers, in turn, dipped into your cunt, preparing you for him. It became like a game, trying to get the other to come first. He won first, but he wasn’t far behind, and he marveled at the fact that you swallowed every drop. From then on, things were a lot more frenzied.

Hours passed without either of you noticing. There were only a few breaks in between, but otherwise, you and Lucius explored every possible position on and around the couch. It was perhaps the longest wedding night in history, with nothing to hold you back any longer. Except for maybe physical exhaustion, which set in when the sun was beginning to rise on a new dawn.

The two of you lay naked, holding each other close, while you watched the sky lighten. The morning was ripe with possibility, Rome feeling like an entirely different realm. Fear had reigned for so long that peace was still a new luxury, but not one you took for granted.

At that moment, before the day really started and you both had to face your new responsibilities, all you wanted was to commit the first moments of your marriage to memory. The matching rings on your interlocked fingers, the adoring look in Lucius’ heavy-lidded eyes, and the mutual promise to take care of each other for the rest of your days.

“Get some rest, my love,” you murmured, caressing his face. “You’ll need your strength.”

“I shall only sleep if I’ll see you in my dreams,” he murmured, trying to sound playful, but his eyes were already closed.

You chuckled, kissing his forehead. “And when you wake up, you’ll see it wasn’t a dream after all.”

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Finis.

#lucius verus x reader #lucius verus x you #lucius verus fanfiction #gladiator fanfiction #lucius verus smut #lucius verus #x reader #minors dni

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darling-flora · 8 months ago

Text

main thing 1

lewis hamilton x yn model - social media au

fc : bella hadid

[part 1]

[part 2]

[part 3]

[part 4]

Note : This is my first post & smau on tumblr so let me know what you think !! ❤

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yourinstagram

Liked by lewishamilton, devonleecarlson and 6,159,944 others

yourinstagram Off-White 2023 Ready-to-Wear.

Always a pleasure to walk for virgil. 💙

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devonleecarlson ICON !!!

devonleecarlson you absoulutly owned this runway ❤

↳yourinstagram ohhh thank you dev 😘

y/nfan1 ate down 💅

lewishamilton an honor to watch this show, you rocked it 👊🏾 ❤!

↳yourinstagram ty ty 😊

lhamfan3 oh lewis don't be so obvious

↳lhamfan3 but please be obvious because i get it....

y/nfan2 every time y/n has walked for off-white it's always iconic !!

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yourinstagram

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yourinstagram last nite & this morning

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devonleecarlson MHMM thinking things about this post...

↳yourinstagram 🤭

jessejostark cuties !!!!!!!!!!

y/nfan3 now who took the last pic .....

laurenperez nice seeing you bb

↳yourinstagram always on the go !! missed you 💋

lhamfan4 last picture.... plus devon's comment 🤔💭

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f1gossips

Liked by lhamfan44, mercfan1 and 59,944 others

f1gossips Model Y/N L/N seen arriving in Barcelona ahead of the Spanish GP amid rumors of romance with Lewis Hamilton.

What do you think ?

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lhamfan44 omg are we getting wag y/n l/n im so here for this !!

lhamfan56 what if she's just a friend ?? 😭

y/nfan4 she's definitely going to the gp

↳y/nfan4 i just hope shes going for lewis 🤞

mercfan2 i doubt they're dating

↳lhamfan23 why ? ↳mercfan2 he's been too public with her he's usually sneaky when he's dating/hooking up with someone ↳lhamfan23 maybe he really likes her and isn't just hooking up with her 🙄🤷‍♀️

y/nfan81 excited to see what they'll both wear

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f1gossips

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f1gossips Model Y/N L/N seen leaving Circuit de Barcelona-Catalunya after watching qualifying in Lewis Hamilton's driver room, she's rumored to have been picked up by Lewis but it's not confirmed.

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yourinstagram story

[ caption : omw to watch my man secure a podium 🏆💋]

[ caption : i mean... what did i say 🤭]

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yourinstagram

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yourinstagram Barcelona with my love has been wonderful, see you next year ❤

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devonleecarlson omfg my parents 😭😭

liked by yourinstagram

lewishamilton wouldn't want anyone else by my side ❤

↳yourinstagram 😘 love you ↳lewishamilton love you more than you know !!! 💞

fencer these two !! 🥺

liked by yourinstagram

lhamfan5 see😭you😭next😭year😭 at the spain gp... i love them together already 🤞

carmenmmundt gorgeous girl, im so happy for you too !! ❣

liked by yourinstagram

mercedesamgf1 merc girl 4ever !!

↳y/nfan32 well... 44 girl forever... liked by yourinstagram ↳lhamfan2 oop not the merc shade...

georgerussell63 finally..... im terrible at keeping secrets

↳yourinstagram george you knew for like only a few days.... ↳georgerussell63 i know, i almost told the uber driver just because i wanted to tell somebody ↳yourinstagram 😭

lh44lvrr I WAS RIGHT AND NOBODY BELIEVED ME

↳y/nfan12 sorry 💔

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lewishamilton

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lewishamilton Spain in pictures by y/n + pictures of my love y/n 🤍

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fullymyself · 21 days ago

Text

Drowning

Pairing: Matt Murdock X Reader

Word count: 2,406

Prompts: "I love you" "It'll pass" from Fleabag, and I also added a bit of one of my favourite songs, Hymm To Virgil by Hozier (it's very Matt)

Warnings: angst, cursing, mentions of injury and reader gets into a fight

Notes: Hello! This is my entry for @elixirfromthestars Cinema Writing Challenge! I've been away from writing for a few years now. The last time I wrote anything, it was the begging of the pandemic and I ended up stopping completely and deleting my Tumblr account during that time. It was pretty hard to come back and it's been such a long time, so I can't help but feel really anxious with posting again, so I wanted to thank Mel for this wonderful challenge that made me get back into writing!

English is not my first language so please forgive me for any mistakes, if I re-read this fic one more time I'm gonna give in to my anxiety and not post it. Hope you enjoy it and sorry for the angst!

Divider by @enchanthings-a

''Matt, stop!" Your voice echoes in the apartment, louder than you meant it to and high enough to make him stop rushing his way up the stairs. "If you're really doing this, when... if you come home, there'll be no one waiting for you."

That gets his full attention and he turns around on the steps, facing you. The fire behind his expression lowers and through the cracks you can see the hurt starting to sip through. He opens his mouth but you cut him off. "Don't start with your excuses, Murdock, I'm done with it. Call it whatever you want to make yourself feel better, this isn't right. I've known about your demons, I've accepted them and you know damn well I've got my own but this..." You step closer to him so you can push against the leather covering his chest. "This was meant to be a symbol, this was hope, justice... not an excuse for you to go around acting like the people you fight against"

"I-" His voice cracks and you can see the tears forming in his eyes, you know he can read your emotions better than anyone and you're sure he can tell how serious and hurt you are. You have to close your eyes and breathe, fighting against every instinct that tells you to comfort him. You know you're right and you're not backing down now. "I've got to do this. They won't stop hurting innocent people, people we love, if I don't stop them. I need to protect you, Foggy, Karen..."

"Don't put this on us. If you keep trying to justify this with some noble excuse instead of recognizing you're doing this for yourself, for your pride, your pain, your vengeance... you're gonna end up like the men you're sacrificing everything to fight against. " You fight the tears threatening to fall and your throat burns in protest. "What will happen when you run out of people to hide behind, Matt?"

"You're right." You step back needing to put as much distance as possible between the two of you, knowing damn well it'd take every bit of strength you had to walk away from him. "I don't understand." You quickly grab your phone and coat and make your way to the door.

"You don't understand..." You look at him, incredulous and hurt, and can't help but scoff. You've been by his side, through the bad and the ugly. You've seen Matthew Murdock, the righteous church boy turned attorney. You've held him when his world was crashing down, you've been together through loss, grief, happiness, pleasure... but you'd also seen the devil of Hell's Kitchen. You'd seen the anger come out, the hatred, the desire to hurt and make people pay. Retribution, revenge, payback... and even then, when the world shrieked in fear, you had stood by his side and loved every part of him.

Before you can register it, he's in your way, hands hesitantly reaching out to you. "Wait, Y/N, I can't... I can't do this without you"

"And I can't do this with you. I won't sit here and wait for you to become the same monster you've been fighting." You push past him and he doesn't resist.

As you're making your way through the door, you hear his voice for the last time, and it takes everything in you to not turn around. His voice is soft and cracking with the effort to keep his pain at bay - it's all Matthew and no Devil. "I love you"

"It will pass" You say resolutely as the door closes behind you, trying more to convince yourself than him, even though it feels like you clawed your heart out of your chest and left it in the hands of the man you loved.

You walk aimlessly through the streets of a damned city praying to a God you weren't even sure you believed in to keep him safe, to let him come back home safe and with his soul intact.

It's only once you're blocks away and you're sure he can't hear you that you allow the tears to slip out. It's pretty much impossible to keep the panic at bay when all you can think is that Matt might not comeback from this fight and you didn't say it back.

Months passed, somehow both too quickly and tortuously slowly. You hadn't seen Matt again and did everything you could to keep yourself from hearing about him too - even though every cell of your body missed him, you had to remain away from him or you knew you'd fold.

Karen had helped you get your things out of the apartment so you wouldn't have to go back. Foggy had also offered to help you with... well, everything, but you couldn't ask him to choose a side in this.

In order to keep yourself sane you had an agreement with the both of them, no talks of Matt or Daredevil when you met - usually at Josie's where the so called drinks would help you forget for at least a few hours just how fucked the past months had been.

They'd make sure your get togethers would happen when Matt was too busy with work or with his side gig to go out so you wouldn't have to worry about awkward soul crushing encounters.

The second agreement was unspoken but it was clear as day - if Matt was hurt or in serious danger you'd be the first to call. No details were ever given, unless you asked, and the calls usually lasted only a few seconds in which a crying Foggy would try to sound tough but would end up only whispering a ''He's safe, you can rest.''

But turns out maybe you should have had an agreement about you as well.

It was a stupid move, you were well aware, but when it happened you really didn't think before you acted.

You were on your way back home from work when you heard a woman scream and saw man running down the street in your direction. A brown haired woman ran out of a building, several bruises covered her face and she struggled to shout a plea for someone to stop the man.

You acted on instinct and became an obstacle on the man's path. He collided with you full on, throwing both of you to the floor with extraordinary force, your whole body aching on impact.

''You fucking bitch!'' He shouted scrambling to get up as you grabbed his arm, trying to keep him down as long as possible as the sound of sirens kept getting closer.

Suddenly, as the streets got illuminated by red and blue lights, the man grabbed a fistful of your hair, his other hand coming down to strike your face.

It hurt like bitch and destabilised you long enough for the man to get away, only to be tackled down by police a few feet away.

It was definitely going to bruise, you thought to yourself as you examined your face on the mirror, but other than that and a few cuts and scrapes you were okay - physically at least.

After the day you had, being alone in your apartment and having to take care of yourself, was incredibly hard. You couldn't help but imagine that this must be a fraction of what Matt felt when he would get home after a hard night and just wanted to be held.

There's a faint knock on your window when you go back to the living room, and you turn around to find Matthew pearched on the fire escape. You don't know if your heart is beating uncontrollably because of the jumpscare he manged to give you or because he's actually in front of you after all this time - if you had to guess, probably both.

Hesitantly you make your way to the window and let him in. He's not wearing his usual red getup, rather his older black attire. You know he wears it when he needs to do something he doesn't want the media to associate with Daredevil but you can't help how it tugs at your heart - this was the Matt you first met and fell in love with.

Matt keeps shifting where he stands, clearly uncomfortable and not knowing how to proceed. It's only when you talk that his body relaxes a bit and he reaches up to lift the cloth hiding his face. "Hi, Matthew." Against all the conflicting feelings and hurt, your voice is soft around his name, making it sound heavy and sweet - like an indulgent bite of your favourite treat. He takes a long, deep breath, savouring the way his name sounds coming from your lips. ''How did you know?'' This time, your voice is harsher, pointed at him with sharp edges.

''Police radio'' Of course he did. You take a deep breath but don't respond. There's a part of you that wishes he'd known because he was keeping tabs on you not because of some random police message, but you're not willing to listen to it, so you justify your annoyance with having your privacy violated, with knowing that even after all this time he still knew things about yourself without you having to say a word while you could not be certain of anything when it came to him even when he'd talk to you.

After a while he moves, hands reaching out with so much hesitation, torn between being afraid you'll step away from him and being afraid you'll open up again and he might hurt you. Seeing the man that had touched you so freely and adoringly before hesitating so much broke your heart.

You met him half way, gently guiding his warm hand to your face. The almost featherlight touch sent shivers down your body and you had to fight against leaning onto it, for the sake of your bruised face and your sanity.

''Are you okay?'' His voice was sweet but there was something else lingering beneath it as his fingers examined your face, lightly touching the feaverish skin of your bruised cheek and trailing down to the small cut on your lips. His jaw tightened with anger.

''I'm okay, just got a few bruises and scratches, nothing I can't handle.'' You try to reassure both him and yourself, clinging to the words you had repeated like a mantra for the past months - I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay...

''You know that's not what I'm asking.'' There's a faint smile on his lips, one burdened with sadness and acknowledgement. He always knew you too well for your own sake. ''How are you?''

You know he can assess how you are physically, probably better than any doctor, and though he knows you well enough to know how you might feel, he can't read your mind. So, with the mess of thoughts running through your head you settle with being as honest as you can. ''I don't know.''

And you really don't. The past months have been an amalgamation of intense and opposing feelings. There's the part of you that is hurt, tired and that wants to scream at him for everything that happened. But there's also the part of you that loves him, that has longed for him and that just wants to be in his arms. Trying to fall out of love with him is like trying to breath underwater, having your lungs fill with water day after day while telling yourself that everything was okay.

Before the tears turn into sobs, Matt pulls you into his arms. You stay like that for god knows how long, he just let's you cry while he holds you. His hand moves through your hair in an attempt to soothe you and when you finally stop crying he doesn't let you go, pressing a kiss to the top of your head but only tightening his arms around you. Now that you're calmer, you can feel how much his hands are shaking.

"I know I'm in no position to ask you this but please never do anything like that again." Now that he speaks again you realize he's been crying as well, his voice heavy and hoarse. All you can do is nod against his chest.

More time goes by until you finally muster up the courage to speak again. "What are we now, Matt?"

He takes a while to speak, and just as you think he's not going to, he sighs. "I don't know." There's a pause as he let's go of you. He brushes away the hair sticking to your wet cheeks and cups your face, forcing you to look at him. "But I need you to know that everything you said to me that night was true, and I was too much of an idiot to see it." He sighs again, and you can see the hesitation on his features. "Everything was true but one thing... it didn't pass, and I don't think it ever will. I love you, and I don't care about what we are, I would burn the world to bring some heat to you. That won't change if we're friends, acquaintances, friends of friends... I just can't be a stranger. I wanna be a part of your life, anyway you'll have me."

He's the man without fear, yet the only thing you can see on him is how afraid he is as he waits for you to say anything.

"I fought against it with everything I had, and it almost broke me, Matt." It's your turn to touch his face and he does not show the same control you had before. He leans his face against the palm of your hand and all but moans with the feeling. "It's impossible to fall out of love with you." Carefully and slowly, you move to press your lips against his.

God knows the problems are not solved between the two of you, there will still be battles to be fought and arguments to be had. But as you lay on the couch listening to his heartbeat and talking honestly about everything that you hadn't had the courage to talk about before, you realize this is how the world is meant to be. For the first time in months you feel like you're no longer drowning.

If you're here, hi!!! Thank you so so so much for reading and I really hope you enjoyed it! Feedback is very much appreciated.

If you liked this fic, I'm trying to get back to writing so I'm accepting requests and I'm also planning on rewriting some fics I wrote in the past, if any of these catch your eye let me know cause I have no idea with which one to start:

Bucky Barnes X Maximoff!Reader - the story is based on the movie Practical Magic and the reader was raised alongside Pietro and Wanda. The siblings ended up growing apart in recent years, that is until the day Bucky Barnes showed up at your door with Wanda passed out in his arms. Now you're confronted not only with your family but it's curse.

Bucky Barnes X Reader - the story is based on the movie While You Were Sleeping. You work at a café and have a secret crush on Steve Rogers, the super soldier who has been coming to the shop every week to grab a coffee and sketch. One day, he is attacked right in front of the café and, even though you manage to save his life, he falls into a deep coma. All it takes is one misplaced comment and now the whole hospital and the Avengers think you're Steve's secret fiancée. What's worst is that now you find yourself falling for his best friend.

Aaand that's it! Thank you so much again and I hope you have a great day!

#matt murdock #daredevil #matt murdock x reader #marvel #elixirscinema

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loopstagirl · 2 months ago

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For Febuwhump day 20 could you possibly featured John down from TB5?

Horizons

For @Febuwhump day 20: I did good?

Scott couldn’t stop shivering but it was nothing to do with the icy temperatures. Their cold weather gear dealt with that. It was the situation. The fact that they were out here, in an avalanche, trying to save families whose skiing trips had just taken the worst possible turn. His hands had been trembling the entire time and Scott couldn’t shake the nausea swirling in his stomach.

“One more family,” Virgil said from beside him. Scott glanced over. His brother was pale, a haunted look in his eye that only the very worst rescues brought out, even though everyone – so far – was accounted for.

Checking they weren’t being watched, Scott gave his brother a quick hug. “You’ve got through this,” he told him.

Virgil managed a hollow smile. “We all have.”

They’d all been needed for this one. But Scott wasn’t sure if that was for the actual rescue or because no one wanted to be left behind. Not this time: not considering the emotional stakes for all of them. He figured his dad had spent the entire time on the comms with Alan, reassuring him everything was okay.

“Ironic, really,” Scott murmured.

“What?” Virgil asked, still leaning against his side. If it gave him the strength he needed to get through this rescue, then Scott was more than happy to oblige.

“Allie. He’s the one that doesn’t remember it, not clearly. He’d probably cope better than the rest of us being out here. Yet this is the one time he’s up on Five.”

Virgil gave a soft huff of understanding, but didn’t say anything. There wasn’t anything he could say.

Scott knew he wasn’t the only one physically feeling this rescue deep in his gut. Gordon had twisted an ankle early on. While he’d usually try and work through it until someone pulled rank, he’d been quick to agree to man Mobile Control from the safety of Two’s pods, handing out thermal blankets and hot drinks as the families slowly trickled in. None of them had called him out on it.

Scott, Virgil, and John had to find the families. Thankfully, there had been good systems in place and the majority had made it to the meeting point. While it had taken all three of them to dig through to the door, they’d found most of their victims waiting for them, safe and warm, despite the horror of the situation. They’d kept everyone on safety lines as they’d moved back down to Two.

But not everyone had made it to the safety point. A few families had left it too late and sheltered in their own chateaus instead. Scott had his back already. Virgil had just delivered his safely to Gordon, and they were waiting on John to come in with the last one now.

Scott hated the snow with a passion. But as well as the terror, the anxiety, and the penetrating cold, he hated how it affected visibility so badly. The skies were still thick with snow-filled clouds waiting to drop their load at any moment, and it disguised the horizon in a way that made him feel lost, like he didn’t have an anchor point to focus on.

It meant when the final family came trudging into view, they were almost upon the brothers before Scott realised they were there. He hurried towards them the best he could given the snow, relieved to see they were roped together as well as holding hands. He counted them and helped Virgil check for any injuries even as the first flakes of snow started to fall.

The family were all accounted for. His, however, was not.

“Where’s our man?” he asked, tone sharper than he’d usually allow on a rescue. “Where’s the person who came to get you?”

The mother and father exchanged looks. The mom stepped forward.

“The roof was coming down,” she explained. “He braced it to give us time to get out but-,”

“No,” Scott breathed.

“I’m so sorry. We tried calling him, but the roof, it had come down, there was so much snow-,”

Scott pushed past her, staring into the white abyss. On any other rescue, that sort of news would make his heart pound. On this one? Scott was sure his heart had stopped.

“Take them to Two,” he told Virgil, tightening the straps on his snow shoes.

“I’m coming with you.” Virgil’s voice was trembling as much as Scott’s hands.

“No. These people need you.”

The snow was starting to fall thicker now.

“We can’t risk them getting lost now. Guide them to Two,” Scott instructed.

“Scott-,”

“I can’t have you out there,” Scott muttered, voice too low to carry. “Not you as well.”

A defiant glare met his words. “And you think we can handle you being out there?”

“Virg, please.” Scott took his arm, drew him off to one side. The family were huddled together, their arms wrapped around one another. “We may need heavy lifting. In these conditions, you’re the only one who can handle Two.”

Virgil looked as if he wanted to argue further. But he couldn’t deny the snow was getting even heavier, visibility worsening by the second. Scott meant what he said: only Virgil had the precision to operate his giant Thunderbird when conditions were like this.

“As soon as we have everyone secured in the pods, we’re coming after you,” Virgil told him in a tone that brokered no arguments.

“F.A.B.”

Scott activated his tracking device as well and Virgil gave him a nod. He turned back to the family and began guiding them in the opposite direction to the way Scott was moving. Scott was aware of Virgil’s long look burning into his back as he walked away, but he didn’t turn around. Virgil was safe. Gordon was safe.

John needed him.

To Scott’s utmost relief, John had also had the foresight to turn his tracker on. Using a hand-held data pad, Scott forced his way through the snow, vision narrowed to immediately in front of him as snow obscured his vision.

“Keep him safe,” he found himself muttering under his breath. “Keep him safe.”

He kept the mantra up with each step. It was getting harder to move but that wasn’t going to stop him. It only took him about ten minutes to reach where the chateaux had been. If it hadn’t been for the snow muffling all sound, they would’ve heard the roof come down from where they’d been standing.

The family had been right. The roof had come down, bringing with it each flake of snow that had landed or hit the house. The walls were barely visible.

“John!”

It wasn’t a professional shout. It wasn’t even a frantic call of a big brother.

It was a scream of pure terror. Scott couldn’t breathe past the pain in his chest. A different view from many years ago was threatening to overlay his vision. Scott dug his nails deep into his palms, using the sharp pain to clear his mind, and started digging.

The snow was so compact that he could pull huge blocks of it away at once. It didn’t take long before he’d carved a space large enough to crawl through. He was sweating from the effort, but knew his short, sharp breaths had nothing to do with exertion.

Crawling in, Scott tried to ignore the suffocating feeling of being surrounded by so much snow. He wiped his visor clear, and came face to face with a boot.

“John? Johnny, can you hear me?”

Scott crawled forward, shoving aside broken tiles and a support that had failed to do its job properly. But he always kept one hand on his brother, terrified that at any moment, John would be torn away from him.

Eventually, he reached his brother’s chest, his shoulders, his head. John’s eyes were closed, his helmet badly dented. Scott brushed the snow off John’s chest, staring desperately to see if it was rising. He couldn’t tell. Tearing off a glove, he peeled back John’s collar, searching desperately for a pulse. He longed to remove John’s helmet, but with the risk of more snow coming down on top of them at any moment, he didn’t dare. It may just be the only thing that stopped him from suffocating.

There!

Yes!

It wasn’t just his own blood pounding, there was definitely a pulse. Even as Scott watched, John’s chest moved as his brother gave a sharp cough, followed by a long groan.

“Johnny?”

“Scott?” John’s eyes opened, bleary and confused.

“I’m here, little brother. I’ve got you.”

There was blood trickling down John’s temple, even with his helmet on. Scott let their visors touch.

“I’ve got you.”

“The family?”

“You got them out, John. They’re safe. They’re with Virgil and Gordon now.”

“I did good?” John said weakly. Scott gave a small laugh.

“Yeah, kiddo. You did really good.”

John’s eyes closed again and he gave a long sigh. “Good.”

“No, no,” Scott scolded, trying to keep his tone light. “Keep those eyes open for me, John. Virg is coming to get us, just stay awake.”

“I’m cold,” John muttered.

“I know.”

Scott shoved away more debris until he could sit behind John, cradling his brother in his lap, letting John’s head rest against his chest. He had no idea if he was holding the man, or the 13-year-old boy with a broken leg as they shouted for their father to find them.

“I’m here. Stay awake for me, okay?”

John made a soft noise that sounded like a confirmation if it wasn’t for his eyes drifting shut again.

“I’m so tired.”

“I know. Tell me how you saved them?” He had to keep John talking until Virgil got here. Until he could get his brother away from this mountain, the cold, and the nightmare of their past.

“I saved them?” John repeated and Scott gave a chuckle.

“Yep. You did. Not your computers or your comms. You, John. Held the roof up while they got out. Just forgot the number one rule which is to always make sure you can get yourself out too.”

“You never remember that rule,” John murmured.

Scott smiled down at him. “Not true. Now come on, tell me how you saved them. That’s an order.”

Perhaps he was buoyed by the pride in Scott’s voice or just knew that he did have to stay awake, but John began to talk. While Scott just hugged him close and reminded himself that he hadn’t lost his brother. Not then and not now.

#febuwhump #febuwhumpday20 #febuwhump2025 #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #scott tracy #john tracy #virgil tracy #horizons #i did good

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emetophobic1 · 4 months ago

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TODAYS TOPIC : Character Mischaracterisation and poor writing!

While I am no Sanders Sides critique (I am a little bit…) and these topics have been yelled about on the rooftops, I am Autistic and enjoy analysing things and complaining. I ADORE Sanders Sides and my favourite thing to do is make AUs with them so that I can change the story, put them in different scenarios, etc. mostly because there is little to no new material in Sanders Sides, it’s only left my imagination and me freaking out over Incorrect Quote videos.

And a while back I made a “theory” (headcanon) to cope with how bad the characters are getting, to which I shall paste + add extra little things to make it work better for the present!

“SO, as we know. Characters all across media are mischaracterised into something they’re not or something that only makes up 50% of them AS a character. The characters in sanders sides have this too! The Sides in specific because it’s hard to mischaracterise a self-insert.

BUT. Character Thomas (C!Thomas) is what makes the sides… sides. What he views them as is what they’ll present as because they are facets of Thomas and make up Thomas as a whole. So, in a way, C!Thomas controls how the sides present and act around 50%. The sides are still their own and their roles / facets will make them up more than Thomas can control!

So, Logan is a complex character, he’s Logical and he’s seen as cold, occasionally mean, and he’s heavily sought over by the fandom due to “recent” episodes in which we explore him being ignored and things like that, He’s a favoured character. But all people view Logan as is Cold, Deadpan, Monotone, and emotionless. They see him as nothing more than a bookworm who gets angry easily, they dumb him down. He’s a lot more complex but I won’t go into detail with that. — but, I feel like he was specifically written that way (We all know he wasn’t.) so that the fandom would SEE him like that because that’s how C!Thomas views Logan. He sees Logan as this annoying voice in the back of your head that tells you to get to work and to be proper, so that’s how Logan presents

Now, Before I go into the other sides, I just was say that this is purely theory (headcanon) and I know DAMN well Thomas is not a good enough writer to come up with this.

Now, Patton is one of. THE. MOST. Mischaracterised, especially in AU’s where he’s meant to be unsympathetic or in anything Fanon. But that’s not Thomas’ fault, however, in the first few episodes of the series, Patton was seen as nothing but the happy pappy dad character who is a little dumb, But that’s just how C!Thomas viewed Patton at first as well as seen In “Moving On” part 1 and 2! Because in those episodes, Patton talked about how he felt a bit forced to be nothing but the happy dad character who’s dumb but in that episode, everyone realised he is so much more and that he’s fairly smart too! He knows his stuff, he IS morality afterall.

So, after those episodes C!Thomas started to view Patton more and more like a complex person (though the fandom still struggles with Patton as a character, that isn’t Thomas’ fault) In SVS Redux, Patton is seen as one thing again because C!Thomas started to question his own morality which lead to him seeing Patton as a bad guy and Patton had a breakdown because of that, he wondered if HE was a good person or if Thomas was a good person. Thomas’ view on Patton shifted until the end where it calmed, though C!Thomas still sees Patton as mostly one thing, he’s trying so hard to see Patton as just happy again because he doesn’t want to see Patton as sad, unhealthy, or just overall as Morality itself.

And then Roman. Everybody saw him as the selfless dreamer at first until Virgil appeared, then fans started calling Roman mean and selfish because he was rude to Virgil before he became a coreside. Everyone see’s him as this one character who is constantly unable to accept the darksides as sides but in reality, he is the opposite! He’s selfless, he’s a hero, and a prince! His whole goal is to spread confidence towards others and make sure others feel welcome and accepted even if sometimes he has a hard time due to the fact his BROTHER is a darkside. But as episodes went on, Roman changed and changed. How C!Thomas viewed Roman changed! Like I said, at first he was sweet and selfless but he began to present ruder and ruder until Virgil was accepted, Then Roman stayed in a sort of neutral stance between mean and nice because Thomas couldn’t figure out how to view Roman anymore, but at the time he still saw Roman as his hero.

Then SVS Redux came. — those brief moments where Janus had called Roman and Patton out on things is where Thomas’ view shifted further. By the end of it when Roman insulted Janus’ name reveal, Thomas saw Roman as nothing but rude and mean for it and he understood why Janus retaliated the way he did. So as Roman sunk out, he presented less and less confident which showed his insecurity, he presented ruder and a lot more upset, less like a hero and more like a fallen solider who thought he was on the right side of the war. Because C!Thomas’ view about Roman had changed in that moment

And now Virgil! Virgil as a character is a complex guy! He’s a canon in between for Coresides and Darksides, and at first he was viewed as mean and uncaring and as a bother but as of Accepting Anxiety, that all changed because Thomas started to realise and see Virgil as an actual side, so he started to view Virgil as nicer and guess what? After AA (accepting anxiety), Virgil became nicer. Until Embarrassing Phases in which Virgil stood up for these view changes and didn’t want to be just mean or nice. He wanted to be viewed as neutral or as something more complex, Thomas realised this and his view on Virgil changed. For a short moment it was completely neutral where Virgil was just kind of.. there. But, then came Are There Healthy Distractions? In which C!Thomas is in a feud with a friend due to the friends past with being homophobic even if they aren’t now. Virgil was kickin’ up in that and making Thomas overthink. He was being a nuisance and Thomas viewed him in that moment as mean and annoying, so Virgil presented as such and snapped at Patton and the others, being anxious. But even after that, Thomas’ view didn’t change all that much because of how much that affected

Virgil was started to be seen as Mean again, so by the time Virgil revealed he used to be a darkside, All he wanted was to make sure Thomas knew what he was doing, he was trying to make sure Thomas didn’t elicit Janus and Remus to much because he knew it could be bad. But due to Virgil being so unaccepting of the darksides, Thomas’ views grew more and more which lead to Virgil being a lot meaner in episodes after that all and things like that

And then Janus… oh boy Janus. Janus is seen as Manipulative and Uncaring, wanting nothing more than to get at the coresides and take control but that couldn’t be more wrong. Janus is quite literally Self-Preservation which means he just wants to help Thomas care about HIMSELF rather than others, Janus is there as Deceit but Deceit can be good and bad, it depends on the reason for being Deceitful. But due to the fact that at first, Thomas viewed Janus as untrustworthy and manipulative, Janus presented AS such until SVS Redux! (Ik, this episode appears a lot LMAO) In SVS Redux, Janus appears at the end to show Patton that what he’s doing and thinking isn’t right and is only harming Thomas, Janus wants nothing more than for the others to trust him because he is a big part within Thomas. The darksides whole point is to bring out the ugly, Janus brings out physical ugliness and Remus brings out mental ugliness. The others don’t realise that the darksides are much more needed in Thomas as of recent. — so, as Janus reveals his name to gain the others trust, Roman makes fun of it (just like he did with Virgil) because he has a bad idea and history OF the darksides. Janus retaliates with “Oh Roman, thank god you don’t have a moustache! Otherwise, between you and Remus, I wouldn’t know who the evil twin is!” The thing is, We all know DAMN well that Janus doesn’t see Remus nor Roman as evil, but in that slight moment where Roman and Janus swapped places within Thomas’ views, Roman was seen as mean and Janus was seen as “just defending himself”

There was a small moment where those views and ideals swapped in which Thomas viewed Roman as the mean and selfish one and viewed Janus as the selfless understanding one. Then it was left in a neutral stance where Thomas felt confused on who was nice and who was mean but either way, in the end, Janus was accepted and the fandom started to also see Janus as nicer just as C!Thomas’ views changed

Now, I’ve been seeing a lot of discourse on the fact that Remus’ canon self is slowly becoming his Fanon self, and I agree! I agree so much and this ENTIRE rant stemmed from the fact that I couldn’t explain just how complex Remus is as a character. But, Everybody sees Remus as this trash rat goblin who strives for chaos and wants nothing more than to annoy everybody, which is true with about 60% of him. The other 40% is unexplainable as it hasn’t been explored enough to explain. In the episode where Remus was introduced, C!Thomas saw him as this complex monster, disgusting, strange, disturbing, and couldn’t understand how Remus was Roman’s other half, Thomas couldn’t understand how Remus was creativity, so as Logan helped Thomas through it, He began to accept and understand Intrusive Thoughts and agree that they’re normal. HOWEVER, what he failed to see was that Remus was still a side and wasn’t JUST intrusive thoughts. He encompassed more just like any other side would, So, C!Thomas began to see Remus as just this annoyance that wouldn’t go away, similar to how he sees Logan as this annoying voice in the back of his head, he sees Remus as this annoying thought that won’t go away and that he can’t repress so he may as well just let it be annoying. Let it tire itself out

Which lead to Remus presenting more how fans viewed him at the beginning. As nothing more than an annoyance that can’t be suppressed but at the same time, everyone knows that it’s not harmful which is why the fandom likes him so much and which is why C!Thomas is okay with Remus being around (in a way)”

Holy hell past me wrote a buttload, OKAY. — I do have a few notes; I am well aware that the sides lashing out, acting certain ways, and things alike are all in place for a reason as a part of their traits, but I just wanted to find a way to cope with how much the sides are becoming more like their fanon-selves, which isn’t good. The devolution of Janus’ makeup, the babying of Remus, the confusion with Logan, the completely ignoring of Virgils story, and Thomas leaning into ships like Moceit, Roceit, etc. (PLEASE STOP LETTING CREATORS LEAN INTO FANON SHIPS… PLLEEASSSE THEYRE FANON FOR A REASON)

Anywho, my point is; Thomas listens too much to his fandom, to the point he has taken how the fandom treats the characters and written it into the story. Yes, there haven’t been any canon episodes in like 3 fucking years, but even with the shorts, incorrect quotes, and Sanders Asides, these characters have been so clearly watered down even in terms of fucking costume. — I wasn’t even around for the 2018 - 2020 fandom of Sanders Sides, and yet even in the actual damn series I can tell what it was like!?

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #writing #long post #mischaracterization #thomas needs new writers #and a new makeup artist…#I’m not trying to be rude to Thomas or any of his friends and co-workers #but this shit is insane #this damn series is my special interest #the type of thing I tell my friends to watch. BEG to watch #I don’t want it to turn to a pile of damn dung bro

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saltedbeans · 1 year ago

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Hello, We Happy Few community. I'm here looking for roleplay partners! I play Nick and Roger

I don't have a plot ready, but feel free to contact me WITH one or we can discuss together!

I mainly do romance plots, but I'm open for drama and angst too! I love me some Bobby ocs 🙏🏻

For Nick ships I'd love some;

X Virgil

X Arthur

X Sally

X Foggy Jack

X One of your Bobby Ocs? 😳😳

And of course with Roger he HAS to be with James!

#we happy few #nick lightbearer #Roger x james #nick x arthur #nick x virgil #We happy few rp #Foggy jack #Foggy jack x Nick lightbearer

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niffler-gold · 7 months ago

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Just a small Tracy fluffy fic.

I have 3 older sisters and there was a pic of us in the house for years of me at 4 years old on my first ever adult drop ride at a theme park. My 2 oldest were protecting me with arms firmly on my legs while my middle sister was grinning away like a mad women on the end. This story will be based off of this.

Thanks @coco9728 for the theme park inspiration.

Scott sighed sitting back in the old leather chair by his father's desk. It had been a long day, hell it had been a long week. He looked at all of the reports stacked in his inbox and begrudgingly opened the next one on the list.

He had barely seen his brothers this week except if a rescue had pulled them together. He frowned. The report he had opened was a Ti document. It was someone needing access into the old data banks for the latest project. He sighed again. He couldn't remember those old passkeys which meant he had to go into his dad's private study to retrieve them.

He avoided going in the study. It brought back too many unpleasant memories but sometimes needs must and he knew this was important.

He cracked open the door. God. He breathed in the smell. His aftershave still lingered after all this time. He let the memories flood him of his dad's presence before moving to the desk to find what he came to get.

He sat down and started to rummage through the draws but then froze. He pulled out a worn old photograph that he had forgotten even existed. The memory flooded him before he even knew what was happening.

A 7 year old Gordon woke him up by bouncing on his bed. "Scott, Scott get up". "Irgh" came the reply from the older teenager's bed. "Come on, today's the day we're going to the theme park" "get up". The next thing he knew the little menace that was his fish brother had ripped his duvet off him. Gordon saw the gleam in Scotts eye to late to react. Scott grabbed all of his flayling limbs and grabbed him to his chest and pulled the cover back over them. "No". Gordon's muffled scream could be heard through a lot of giggling.

John just so happened to be walking past his brother's bedroom at that exact moment, confused why the door was wide open. He poked his head round the door and could easily guess who Scott had prisoner in his bed. "Dad's not gonna be happy if you two are late" he said in a loud voice to be heard over all the giggling and yelling. Scott threw the cover off his head. "Yer, yer, were comi-" he was cut off by a yell of "Scott". Alan, all of 4 years old, had wandered in behind John. Next thing any of them knew Alan had all but ran and jumped on the bed hurtling towards his brother.

"I've missed you he said cuddling up to him". Gordon replied before Scott had a chance "he's only been away a few weeks" he said in his ever knowing 7 year old voice. "Too long" Alan pouted back. Before anyone could say anything Virgil and their father appeared at the door. "Come on boys we need to get a move on if we want to get there" Virgil then piped up "Gordon what did we say about bothering Scott" "it's fine Virgil" he replied scoping both the littleies into his arms. "I've missed them anyway, even this little monster" he said tickling Gordon some more. Their father just smiled in the door way. "Good to have you home son'".

30 minutes later and they were all bundled into the car on their way to the local theme park. It wasn't one of the huge parks but it was big enough for them to spend the day there and had rides that all of them could enjoy.

Scott spent the ride catching up on all of the mayhem his brothers had gotten into in the last few weeks since he had been gone. Safe to say it was a lot.

Once they arrived he relished in being back with his family going on different rides. There were 2 big water slides with rafts for 2 people to go on and they seemed to spend an age on them. First Scott took Alan on it with him holding his brother tightly as Alan screamed the whole way down only to burst into a fit of giggles at the bottom when it was over and his dad picked him up out of it. He made sure he went on it at least once with all of his brothers but the best was definitely Virgil. John may be older but was as skinny as skinny still. While Virgil was small he had broad shoulders and definitely been going to the gym, the weight of both of them made it go a hell of a lot faster. They even all watched Gordon and Alan come down together. Gordon taking his big brother responsibilities seriously as he walked hand and hand with him up to the top and held on tightly to him as they came down.

After a lunch of pre-packed sandwiches Virgil and John had made that morning, they wandered off to find some bigger thrill seekers. They came across a drop tower. One of those rides that take you slowly to the top only to plumit back down to the ground. Gordon begged his older brothers to take him on it. So as big brothers do they did. Alan was pretty upset as his dad had said no so instead his dad lifted him onto his shoulders as they watched their brothers go on it. After that Scott and Virgil decided to take Gordon on a few more bigger rides while John and their dad took Alan to the kiddie rollercoasters.

After taking Gordon on the scarier rides they found their dad sitting on a bench alone. "Dad!" Gordon yelled running and practically jumping into his dad's arms. "You had fun Gordy" he said ruffling the blond locks on his second youngest head. " Yer, we even went upside down". He then started jabbering at an inhumanely fast pace that no one could keep up with. " Where's John and Alan" Scott asked interrupting his brother's manic tail. Their dad pointed at a small train rollercoaster where John stood off to the side. "That's his 5th time in a row on that one". "Why isn't John on it with him" gordon asked. "Well he was, and he took him on every little coster in this section and went on with him but Alan seems to like this one. After the 3rd time in a row he got off and has been watching him since". The rest of the brothers giggled. John must have noticed them as he got Alan off the train and started walking towards them.

Allie bound up to Scott and hugged his leg. He instinctively picked him up and hugged him close. Virgil smirked at John. "He worn you out" he questioned sarcastically. "You try doing that coster multiple times in a row. It's essentially a circle I was getting dizzy" he retorted. The rest of the family just laughed. "Scott". "Yes Allie" he replied looking at him in his arms. "Big drop, I want to do the big drop". Scott put him down. "He really hasn't let that go has he" said Virgil. Scott turned to his father. "Dad please". He said in his best child-like voice. Next thing their dad knew all his sons were chiming in asking him. He looked at his youngest with pride as he reminded him so much of his late wife. "Are you sure you want to Alan." A chorus of cheers went up from his sons.

So off they went back to the 'big drop' Alan had called it. Luck was on their side (also tall genetics), as Alan was just tall enough for the ride. There were 5 seats each side so all of them could fit into the row. Scott lifted Alan up and pulled down his shoulder restraints securing him in before taking his own seat. The older boys knew exactly where to sit in order to look after the two minis. John was at the end and had Alan next to him. On the other side of Allan was Scott. And then Gordon, then Virgil. Alan looked tiny in the seat. Both John and Scott had their arms over him protectively. Gordon was grinning like a mad hatter. And Virgil on the end was making sure he was safe. While they were waiting for the ride to start the boys noticed a flash but before they had time to react the ride started to go up and their dad was waving from the ground camera in hand.

Alan loved it. He squealed at the drop. And laughed when it went back up. John and Scott were laughing hysterically at him while holding onto him. Gordon was also laughing at his brother but also was enjoying the sensation himself. Virgil was just vibing on the end while looking out for Gordon as well. Even he couldn't help chuckle at his youngest brother's screens even though he couldn't see him.

Once they got off the ride they decided to head home, after all it had been a long day. The photo had been forgotten or so they thought.

Scott walked back into the lounge and was happy he found all of his brothers there. "Where have you been asked" asked Virgil. "All your work was still open on the desk, but you weren't in the kitchen or anywhere near". Scott smiled and sank into the sofas with his brothers.

"I had to get something from dad's study... Can't remember what or why now, but I found this". He laid the picture on the table for all of them to see.

"no", said John, "it can't be". Virgil piped up "Alan's first ever big ride". All of the boys crowded in on it. "You can't say you weren't protective enough" quipped Gordon. "He's got a huge harness on and you and John still have your arms over him holding him safe". They all chuckled at that. "Did you know about this Scott" asked Alan. "No" he replied quietly. "Given how used it looks dad must have looked at it a lot" said Gordon. "Yer" replied Scott in the same quiet voice.

Nothing more was said on the photo but a few days later it appeared fully restored as a permanent fixture to the old desk. Once dad's now Scott's.

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds fanfiction #gordon tracy #scott tracy #virgil tracy #alan tracy #john tracy #nifflers fanfics

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 1 year ago

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Gross

Fic Idea (no pressure obviously) Thomas struggling with his self image and ego, and in response Roman ends shapeshifting all the time, fluctuating between the masculine beauty standard (lean, muscular, hairless) and what society considers “ugly” (pudgy, hairy). And based on how he looks, Roman will interact with the others or hide away – anon

hihi!! had this random idea for a sanders sides fic- something along the lines of- a while after Remus and Roman split, Remus comes back (when the dark sides start to get more involved) and confesses that he hoped Roman was doing better after he joined the light sides? that all he wanted was for his brother to be happy, away from the darkness for once? angst sadness ykyk :)) – can-you-hear-me-axhilles

hi, so I just read your wings series and I was wondering if we could have something with Remus and his tentacles? Like maybe him thinking they are ugly or something, I’m not really sure. Maybe Roman has animal characteristics too and they’re “prettier” or “better” so he gets insecure? Mainly focused on these two but I don’t mind if it’s all of them together. No pressure to write this tho! – anon

I’ve been reading your Sanders Sides stuff for the longest time and I was wondering if I could get some Roman angst with a side of creativitwins? – meandmacats

Read on Ao3

Warnings: non-consensual body modification, self-esteem issues, self-hatred

Pairings: gen

Word Count: 5481

Or, five times Remus helped Roman out when Thomas's self-esteem issues change his nature, and one time Roman helps Remus.

”Remus?”

Remus looks up from his knitting to see Patton standing over him. “What’s good, Pat-Pat?”

“I’m, what’re you doing?”

“Oh, I’m knitting this patchwork sweater out of hair.”

“Oh…how cool.” Patton gives himself a shake. “Anyway, I was wondering if you’ve seen Roman? He was supposed to come down for lunch but he never showed.”

“Like, at all, at all?”

“Yeah. Neither hair nor hide! Or—well, I guess he did do the hide since he’s hiding from us, and you’re the hair!”

“Ah, Pat-Pat, never stop with the dad jokes. You’ll make all of us go into pun-withdrawal.” Remus carefully sets aside the needles and bounces to his feet. “I’ll go look for him, see if he needs to be pried out of the dragon’s gullet again.”

“Oh, thanks so much, Remus, I really—wait, ‘again?’”

“Gotta blast!”

Honestly, it’s not like Roro is known for missing deadlines, that’s Remus’s thing. Especially when it comes to things like meals and remembering to eat—well, Ro’s not exactly the pinnacle of healthy practices when he get absorbed in his work, but he’s better at it than some people give him credit for. Which means he’s either deep in the middle of something he’s keeping to himself, he’s asleep because the time zones in the Imagination are all kinds of wackadoo, or he really does need to be rescued.

Which isn’t Remus’s thing, come on, Ro, you’re ruining his reputation.

By the time he gets to the Imagination, he’s already pulling out his acid-proof gloves and sharpening his Morningstar. He stops dead, however, when he sees the doors are still locked from last night. That’s weird. Maybe Ro just used his personal gate instead of the main one? But that just takes him right to his little workshop area, that’s not anywhere near where the dragons are…

He’s about to go for his gateway when he hears a quiet noise coming from Roman’s door. Frowning, he turns. Roman’s door is only a few feet away. He glances up and down the hall to make sure none of the resident sneaks are nearby—Janus and Virgil—and knocks on the door.

“Uh, busy!”

“Ro, it’s me.”

“Oh. Did you, um, did you need something?”

“You weren’t at lunch. Pat-Pat’s getting worried.”

He hears a muffled curse and the door glimmers slightly. That’s Roman’s cue that he can sink in. He stows the acid gloves and the Morningstar and sinks in, expecting Roman at his desk or on the floor puzzling over some bit of a story he can’t quite get right, but instead he sees an empty room.

“Where are you?”

“Bathroom.”

Remus pops his head through the door and blinks. “Whoa.”

”Yeah, yeah,” Roman mumbles, already reaching for the bandages curled up on the counter, “you don’t have to say it.”

”That looks—“

“I said you don’t have to say it.”

Remus slams his mouth shut, but he can’t stop staring at the acne. Throbbing red pimples that look like they’re causing Roman pain every time he so much as breathes, bigger whiteheads that have already started to ooze, blackheads that litter every inch of skin that isn’t already covered, some of which look like they’re almost on top of each other…

Roman turns his back on him and hunches his shoulders. “What do you want, Re?”

“I, uh…well, now I want to help.”

Roman laughs. It’s not funny. “There isn’t any helping this. Not until Thomas feels better.”

“Whoa. Back up. What?”

“This.” He waves a hand at his face. “This is a thing, remember?”

“Oh. Oh, right, fuck.”

“Yeah.”

Remus scrubs a hand over his face. “Can I help make it less painful while it’s going on?”

There’s a pause. Then Roman’s head turns slightly. “Would you?”

“Shit, yeah,. Roro. You’ve helped me with stuff more times than I can count on my fingers and toes, let me help you.” He gets a small huff that might be an actual that-was-kind-of-funny-I’m-feeling-better laugh. “Yeah?”

“…yeah, okay.”

“Wonder-bats! Okay, I think I still have that stuff from when we had those sores from the poison experiments…where did I put that?”

“Did you leave it in your room or my room?”

”We cleaned up here, so it should be…aha!” He takes a big plastic case from under the sink. “Go sit your perky butt on the edge of the tub, I’ll be right there.”

“…thanks, Remus.”

“What’re brothers for?”

The very first time it had happened, it had been well before Thomas had learned what it was to be attractive.

Remus had found Roman crying in his room, curled up under all the blankets he could find with tissues covering the floor.

“Ro-bro? What happened? Do I need to fight someone for you?”

“It won’t come off!”

“What won’t come off?”

Roman had peered out from under the blanket cocoon and Remus’s mouth had dropped open when he saw the words FREAK and LOSER written all across Roman’s face in permanent marker.

“Who did that? Was it Virgil? I’ll fight him!”

“No,” Roman had sniffled, “it wasn’t—wasn’t Virgil. It wasn’t any of them.”

“Did you do it? That’s more my kinda thing, isn’t it?”

“No!” Roman had wailed. “I didn’t do it! Someone—someone hurt Thomas!”

“Someone hurt Thomas? But nothing happened! We didn’t get into any fights!”

“Not like that! They were just mean. They were really mean and they said he looked ugly and they called him a f-freak and a loser and—and—“

Remus had scurried forward and wrapped his brother in a hug as he broke down in tears. “You’re not a freak or a loser, Roro. Neither is Thomas. They were wrong, you know that, right?”

”Then why won’t it come off?”

Sure enough, up close, Remus had seen the red and raw skin where Roman had scrubbed it with whatever he could find to make the words go away. Bits were even coming off on the blanket as Roman rubbed his cheek against it.

”Hey, hey, stop that. You’re hurting yourself.”

“I don’t care.”

“I care! I don’t like seeing my brother hurt!” Remus had given him a shake. “You don’t have to hurt yourself more on top of this, okay? Come on, come into the bathroom, I’ll help you.”

“Y-you will?”

“Yeah, Roro, come on.”

The twins had gone to the bathroom where towels and washcloths were still strewn around from Roman’s previous attempts. Remus had made Roman sit on the stool and reached for the soap, getting one of the washcloth more suds than cloth and trying to wipe off the words.

“That tastes so bad.”

“So keep your mouth shut.”

“But you keep wiping it over my mouth!”

“No, I’m wiping it over your cheek, which is next to your mouth. And you talking isn’t making it any better, so shush.”

Roman had grumbled silently until Remus accidentally went too roughly over one of the sore spots and Roman yelped.

“Ow!”

“Sorry, I’m sorry,. I didn’t mean to.”

“Wash it off! Wash it off!”

“Okay, okay! Come here!”

They had stumbled over to the sink and Remus practically shoved Roman’s head under the tap. He had spluttered and flailed out, splashing Remus.

”Hey! Don’t splash me!”

“I’ll splash you all I want!”

“No, you won’t!”

“Yeah, I will!”

It had…devolved from there.

The bathroom had been sopping wet by the end of it, not a towel nor tile had been spared from the twin’s water war. Their clothes were just as soaked, their hair dripping like they’d just walked through a hurricane. The sink and the bathtub still ran as if nothing were wrong and the detachable shower head in Remus’s hand sprayed as merrily as ever.

”Whoa, hey!”

“What?”

“It’s gone!”

Roman had run to the mirror, touching his face. Sure enough, the words had vanished.

”It is gone!”

”You’re welcome,” and he had taken a big bow with the shower head still spraying everywhere, “I think that means I win.”

“Whoa, wait, no, it doesn’t.”

“Yes, it does.”

”No!”

“Yes!”

It took a while longer for the war to end and even longer for the bathroom to dry.

Someone says Thomas eats too much junk food and Roman can’t stop dripping oil.

Remus finds him sitting on his bathroom floor, the drain in the shower covered with a towel. He’s sitting on towels too, towels soaked and heavy with oil as Roman’s tears fight to get out from his eyes and through the slick covering his skin.

“The others are worried,” he says quietly, lingering in the doorway, “they want to know what’s wrong.”

Roman doesn’t say anything. Remus peers a little closer and sees the telltale sheen over his mouth too. Even just thinking about how it must feel to have that much oil on his lips makes Remus shudder. He summons a washcloth from his own stash and a bottle of soap.

“Just like old times,” he says as he crouches down in front of him, “I’m gonna wash off the oil on your face, okay?”

Roman manages a small nod and Remus gets to work. Normally when he’s washing oil off stuff, he scrubs at it like he’s trying to grind it with sandpaper and the soap foams up around his wrist. But this is Roman, not some metal piece of equipment, so he goes as gently as he can without suffocating him with soap or making no progress at all. He has to stop a few times when Roman lets out a pained noise or winces at the rasp of the cloth, just holding a blotting sheet there to soak up the oil as best he can while he waits for him to settle. He makes a note to work on the heavy duty blotters in case something like this ever happens again.

At last, when Roman looks like he’s about to cry for a very different reason, the space around his lips and nose is clear enough for him to gasp out a few words.

“Sorry, thank you, sorry—“

”Shh-shh, Roro, you don’t need to apologize. Just tell me what you need.”

”’S so gross.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I’m right here.”

Roman lets out a frustrated whine and Remus quickly pulls out his phone.

“If you tell me what Thomas needs to stop thinking about I can get Lolo on it.”

“No, then he’ll—“

“I’m not gonna tell him what’s wrong with you, okay? I’m just gonna prod them into getting Thomathy’s brain on the right track away from whatever-the-fuck-this-is-station.”

More oil starts to build up and he shoves his phone in his pocket, working on washing it away again. His presence seems to have calmed Roman down a bit; the oil comes in smaller waves this time, concentrated more around the naturally oily parts of his face rather than every inch of his skin. When he’s cleaned off the areas around his nose and mouth, he goes and starts moving to the rest of his head.

“Junk food,” Roman mumbles, as if saying it too loud would make the oil return with a vengeance, “saying bad stuff ‘bout Thomas…unhealthy…gross…”

Remus whips out his phone and sends a text to Logan about food not having a moral weight and how eating something was always better than eating nothing. He gets a text back a few seconds later that just says on it.

“Lolo cavalry is assembled, he’s going.” He tucks the phone away and keeps washing Roman off. “And I’m gonna stay right here until we get all this oil off you, okay? We can even do your thirteen-step skin care routine once it’s gone.”

“It’s not thirteen steps.”

“Whatever you wanna tell me, Roro, at least you’re not as bad as Snakey.”

It’s the first time Roman manages to laugh that day, and Remus makes sure it isn’t the last.

When Patton and Logan have near simultaneous nervous breakdowns after someone calls Thomas lazy, Remus makes sure Virgil’s wrapped around the Mindscape’s padre and Janus has Logan in his little snake den before he goes off in search of Roman.

The Imagination door is covered in cobwebs that retreat as he approaches, a few spiders waving hello as they disappear. He runs his hand over the keyhole, checking to see if it’s just an affectation, or if Roman really hasn’t been using it. He knows he has, is the thing; Roman’s had more projects on the go this month than he’s ever had before and if it weren’t for Janus and Logan dragging him out of it to make sure he didn’t completely lose touch with the Mindscape, he bets his left barnacle that Roman would’ve been living there too just so he wouldn’t miss an opportunity to keep working. And sure enough, the keyhole glows red as soon as his fingers brush it and he carefully pushes the door open.

He walks into the most statistically average middle class sitcom home he’s ever seen. Needless to say, he hates it.

”Ro? Are you here?”

There’s a faint noise coming from what he guesses is the direction of the living room and listen, as little time as he has to spend in this painfully mediocre place, the better. Seriously, he can feel the whispers of white picket fences and PTA meetings lingering ominously over his shoulder with every second he walks through these beige walls. Snatches of TV dialogue becomes audible as he makes his way through the house.

He comes to a stop.

He tilts his head.

There’s certainly a person in the living room, but it doesn’t really look like Roman. They look like every Sunday cartoon about a husband and wife where it’s terribly misogynistic and heteronormative, recliner out, bag of chips in lap, staring vacantly at the TV. It’s only the fact that they’re crying at the paid advertising programs and that Remus would recognize his brother anywhere that he knows it’s Roman.

He sits down on the plastic covered couch and tries not to look at the soulless photos of smiling families perched on the dusty mantle. Roman doesn’t look away from the screen but the hand nearest Remus twitches slightly.

“Hey,” he calls, and Roman’s head turns a little, “hey, Roro. I’m here. It’s gonna be okay. You’re gonna be okay.”

The TV blares something about a crockpot that cooks fancier meals than a normal crock pot.

“I know how shitty it is when people accuse you of being lazy. Especially when they’re just complaining that they haven’t seen anything from you.” He shuffles and the couch squeaks. “And we all know how hard you’re working. How hard Thomas is working.”

Roman’s eyes flick to his. Remus smiles and takes his hand, giving it an encouraging squeeze.

“Giving yourself a break isn’t being lazy. Having a hard time doing things isn’t lazy. Not being able to work on something because it’s just covered in the fucking ooze isn’t being lazy. You aren’t being lazy, okay? You wouldn’t even be lazy if you decided you didn’t want to work on any projects for the next year.”

The TV glitches out. Static fills the room and it actually feels like Remus can breathe. He squeezes Roman’s hand again and shifts closer. Roman stares at him with wide eyes.

”I mean it, Roro. You’re not—I know we’ve gone over this and I’ll keep giving you crowbars for as long as you need them—“

The smallest smile appears on Roman’s face.

“—but you’re not—your worth isn’t in what products or content you can make. You know i love you because you’re my brother, because you’re funny and clever and ridiculous and there’s no one I’d rather make stuff with. You could decide that you don’t want anything to do with Thomas’s career anymore—“

Roman makes a devastated noise.

“Calm down, calm down, I know that’s not true, I’m just spouting a wild hypothetical, okay? If you decided to do that and I made sure it was really you and you hadn’t lost some sort of bet, then yeah, I’d still want you to be my brother. We’d still do stuff. I don’t give a shit what everyone else thinks.”

”…promise?”

Remus could sob with relief at actually hearing Roman’s voice come out, and he grins so wide his cheeks start to hurt. “I promise, Roro, I promise. You’re not lazy, you’re resting, and even if you were, I wouldn’t care.”

‘’M not trying to be lazy. It’s—I’m just—“

“Shh, shh, Roro, it’s okay,” The bag of chips falls to the ground and catches fire as Remus tugs his brother into his arms. “I’m right here. You’re doing so good, okay? Thomas is too.”

Remus doesn’t burn the house down because he’s had too many lectures from Janus about that, but he does get a big cartoon wrecking ball to smash the whole thing into smithereens.

He does burn the recliner though. And the plastic-covered couch. They deserved it.

The latex gloves snap on as Roman sits on the edge of the tub with a grunt. He picks up the rest of the kit and sets it on the stool.

”Do you know what it’s about this time?”

“Someone said something about how immature Thomas is being about criticism and how he can’t take care of things, something like that.”

“Why did it manifest as acne, then?”

”I don’t know, maybe something about how teenagers who are hormonal and don’t really know how to take care of their skin get acne?”

Remus snorts. “Do people still not understand that acne happens and can happen to anyone regardless of age?”

‘Apparently not.”

“Well, they can go lick the Kraken’s crack.”

“Ew, Remus.”

“Just trying to keep the mood light.” He picks up one of the cotton swabs and a paper towel and leans down. “I’m gonna try and clean up some of the wet stuff first, okay? Then we can actually get onto some relief.”

“You’re not gonna pop any of them, are you?”

“I don’t think so. At least not right now.”

”Because I really don’t want this to scar.”

Remus hums, carefully running the swab over a particularly inflamed part of his cheek. “Can you give me a pain rating?”

”Like a 6? It’s not that bad but it’s not a pain I’m used to it’s…freaking me out.”

“Understandable, have a nice day. If it ever gets too much, let me know and we’ll switch to a cool pack, okay?”

Roman hums as Remus goes to work. A pile of discarded swabs and other trash accumulates at Remus’s elbow as he works patiently around the various, uh, ‘zones.’ They have to stop a few times when it gets to a point where Roman’s whole face just aches, waiting for it to subside enough that Remus can keep going.

“There are a couple down here that look like they’re ready to go, do you want me to just get ‘em out?”

”Be careful.”

“Sure, yeah. If it starts to hurt lemme know and I’ll back off right away.”

He gets a few of them, a few more putting up too much of a fight so he leaves them be. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Roman heroically stop two or three whimpers before he lightly jabs him in the stomach and tells him to knock that posturing shit off, he doesn’t need it here.

“…thanks, Re.”

“I told you, it hurts too much, I stop.”

“I know.” He shifts on the tub. “I think it’s just…hard to remember.”

Remus frowns, glancing up at him. Roman fiddles with the hem of his prince costume.

“You know…with the others?”

”No. I don’t know, Ro.”

“They don’t—they’re—they want Princey, Prince Roman. Not…the rest of this.” He waves his hand to indicate the cotton carnage. “So it’s hard to…”

He trails off when he sees the expression on Remus’s face.

“What?”

”You mean they don’t know?”

“Know what?”

“That this—“ he waves at Roman— “happens to you. Any of it.”

“I mean, they know I’m the Ego and it makes sense that I get hurt when Thomas feels bad, but—“

”But not how much.” Roman won’t meet his gaze. “Fuck, Ro.”

“…it’s complicated.”

“Shit, no, I’m not—look at me, Ro. I’m not mad at you. I’m just—this wasn’t what I’d hoped.”

Roman frowns. “What do you mean, what you hoped?”

Remus sighs. This is turning into way more of a conversation than he’d ever anticipated. Glancing around, he picks up the cold pack and hands to to Roman before taking a seat on the counter. His legs swing and kick at the cabinets with a quiet thunk-thunk, thunk-thunk.

“When the Split happened, and we went to the Dark Sides, I…dunno, I guess I thought it would be…better.”

“Because we were separated?”

“What? No, no, because I had the stuff like Deceit and Anxiety with me, so they couldn’t make any of this stuff worse—not that they would,” he says when Roman opens his mouth to protest, and wow, have they come a long way, “but just ‘cause…well, yeah. You had Logic and Morality, who were—doesn’t that make sense? That they would be able to help?”

Roman sighs. He picks at the edge of the ice pack. “It’s not that simple.”

“Then explain it to me.”

“Logan’s thing is object impermanence, you know that.” Remus winces in sympathy. “But having someone tell you something isn’t real when you can feel it and it is real, to you, that’s not…that’s not helpful. It’s better if he just goes right to Thomas than coming to me.”

“And Patton?”

Roman lets out a humorless huff. “Thomas is feeling bad and Patton is Thomas’s feelings. How do you think that normally goes?”

…yeah, probably not great.

“It’s not all bad,” he continues, softer now, “they’re at least good when I tell them I don’t want to be disturbed. They don’t ask questions if I tell them I don’t want to talk about it.”

“That feels suspiciously like the bare minimum.” Roman shrugs. “I know I literally just said the opposite, but do Janus and Virgil…?”

“They’re both better at comforting the others. It’s okay, Re, I have you. I really only want you when it’s…bad like this.”

“Me? Why?”

“You get it.”

Remus chuckles, getting back up and picking up the next tool. “That simple, huh?”

“Sometimes it’s just that simple.”

”Aw, I love you too, Roro. You’re the specialist baby brother any Side could ever ask for.”

“You—what the hell do you mean, ‘baby brother?’”

“You’re the baby brother.”

“I am not.”

“Are too.”

“Am not.”

“Are too. Now hush so I don’t accidentally poke your eye out.”

“I’m gonna get you back for this.”

“Oh, I’m so scared about that. Now hold still, Roro, let’s get this out of the way so you can feel better.”

“…love you.”

“I love you too.”

+1.

The Imagination is upset. Roman feels it the second he steps foot through the door and forgoes his normal prince costume for a rougher tunic and boots, strapping his sword to his hip and an emergency pack to his back. The wind blows frigid and punishing over the grass as he starts down the trail, squinting through the dust clouds whipping up around him. The clouds frown around the edges of the tree line, darkening to a stormy black near the edge of the coast. As he nears the black cliffs, rocks crumble beneath him and tumble into a churning sea.

He edges carefully around the craggy rock face, keeping his movements light and careful. Spray whips him in the face as thunder rolls in the distance. The chill near rips his fingers from their precarious handholds. He grits his teeth and keeps going, even as the wind howl so loudly his ears near split from the pain.

There, a little ways down the cliff, is a small cove. He inches his way around the edge of the bluff and drops onto a larger path leading him along the coast. There isn’t any sand here, only rough and unyielding stone. Froth and foam given them gleaming white teeth as the waves churn furiously around the mouth of the sea. He follows the path down, down towards he massive cracks in the sheer rock face, one eye on the black water below him. Despite being so close to the shore, there’s no sign of a bottom and he doesn’t want to risk how deep it is. There’s no telling what current might rip him into the open ocean if he falls in.

The cove is shaped like a spear’s point, the crack in the cliff at its very point as though some massive weapon had shattered the rocks themselves. As Roman nears it, the shadow at the base of the path slowly grows more and more defined, until he realizes that it’s a path through the cliff. The cove is an inlet leading into a hidden sea cave with a vast black lake in its center. Roman peers up at the glistening wet walls, hand on the wall as the wind whistles angrily by.

The water moves. He looks down. Something massive slips just underneath the surface, sending ripples to the shore. He crouches down and sees a huge shape getting closer and closer to the surface. An eye the size of a dining table glares up at him through the water and long arms with rows and rows of hooks reach up toward him.

“Ollie, it’s me. It’s Roman.”

The Kraken pause. The hooked arms retreat and he pokes his head up, letting out a mournful burble. Roman reaches over and taps the water. One of his other arms comes up and Roman pets soothingly along the skin.

“What’s the matter, buddy? What’s going on?”

Ollie burbles again and Roman suddenly realizes why the hooked arms were the ones to reach for him. Beneath the surface, the Kraken’s arms form a cradle of sorts, holding something close to the Kraken’s massive body. As the water shifts and ripples, the thing comes closer and closer to surface, slowly moving to reveal its precious cargo.

And there, nestled in the Kraken’s grip, covered in his own writhing tentacles, is Remus.

“Oh, Re,” Roman murmurs as his brother twitches and whimpers, “what happened? Who did this?”

Ollie burbles again, holding him out, and Roman balances on the edge of the shoreline and stretches to hold on. The Kraken lifts him up and into the cradle too, letting him touch Remus’s frigid skin and shake him awake.

“Re? Re, wake up, it’s okay, I’m here to help.”

The tentacles writhe as Remus stirs, blinking through a pained haze up at Roman. “…Ro?”

“Hey, Re, it’s me. It’s okay, you’re gonna be okay. What happened?”

“Thoughts got too loud.” A tentacle leaves a thick trail of slime across his arm and he shudders. “Sorry.”

“What could you have to be sorry for?”

“‘S gross.”

“You stop that,” Roman chides gently, running his fingers through Remus’s wet hair, “I don’t care if something’s gross, I care if it’s hurting you.”

Remus whimpers, clutching at one of Ollie’s arms. The Kraken squeaks back, trying in vain to warm him up, but there’s only so much he can do in this freezing cave. Roman glances around and bites his lip.

“Does it feel better in the water? Is that why you came down here?”

“Yeah. Ollie came and f-found me.”

Roman pats the worried Kraken. “What do we need to do? Is it like caring for Ollie’s arms?”

“N-no. Like helping the jelly—jellyfish with the twisted—twisted ones.”

He’ll bet just about anything that this frigid water isn’t helping Remus do that, and it’s not like Ollie has opposable thumbs. He goes to slide into the water himself but Ollie chirps in alarm, hoisting them higher.

“What’re you doing?”

“I’m trying to help.“

Remus shakes his head, more slime trailing across his shivering body. “Too cold for you.”

“Well, then it’s definitely too cold for you. Can we get you somewhere warmer?” Remus curls up a little more. “What about that pool near the glowstone trees?”

“That’s all the way on your side.”

“Ollie can take you. I’ll meet you over there.” Remus stays quiet. Roman leans down and brushes the wet hair from his eyes. “What else is bothering you, Re?”

Two of the tentacles glob onto Roman and start leaving trails of slime across his tunic. Remus whimpers and reaches out a hand to yank them away. It’s no use; the roiling mass just keeps smearing slime onto Roman as they try to pull him closer, no matter how hard Remus shoves them away.

Oh.

“Re, you’re not too gross. You’re not going to ruin anything. I want you to come with me so I can help you. I care about you. Let me help, please?”

It takes a painfully long moment for Remus to peek up at him and nod. Roman can’t stop the way his shoulders sag in relief and he sits up, patting Ollie’s arm as the Kraken burbles happily.

“You…you really wanna help?”

“Of course I wanna help you, Re, you’re my brother.”

“Okay.”

“Have Ollie take you over to the pool, okay? I’ll meet you there.”

“How are you gonna get there?”

“I have my ways.”

Remus grumbles and he sounds just enough like his normal self that Roman has to reach down and ruffle his hair, no matter how much Remus squawks about it. He climbs back off to the shore and watches Ollie sinks below the surface before he makes his way out to the ocean proper. Taking the charm from beneath his tunic, he closes his eyes and concentrates.

A screaming cry and the massive thudding of wings splits the wind.

Roman’s dragon lands just on the other side of the bluffs and he climbs on, taking off and soaring over the stormy sea. The dragon calls out over the waves and far beneath, he can see the shape of Ollie swimming through the depths. The clouds begin to part as they near the opposite coast, sun rays splitting the worst of the storm as the glowing trees appear on the horizon.

Roman’s dragon sets him down just on the edge of the shimmering pool. He pats its snout and it huffs, lying down on the sun-warmed grass and closing its eyes. As he walks toward the pool and begins to take off his boots, he spots Ollie’s shade moving through the inlet into the warmer water. He chuckles at the way the water vibrates with the Kraken’s pleased rumble.

Clad in just his boxers, he slips into the water and through the tangle of arms to draw Remus into the warmth. Remus immediately tuns and clings to him like a limpet, shivering from the temperature change.

“I know, I know,” Roman murmurs as he starts to work his hands patiently through the mass of tentacles, “just hold onto me. I can still kind of stand here, I’ve got you.”

”You gonna take care of me?”

“Yeah, Re, I’m gonna take care of you.”

He’s rewarded with a sleepy hum and Remus snuggles into him. “You’re the best.”

“No, you’re the best. The best baby brother anyone could ever ask for.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

Remus might mutter an am not back, but it’s muffled by his tired slump into Roman’s arms. Roman just chuckles. He’s sure it’ll come up again at some point.

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl

#sanders sides #fic #dragonbabbles #roman sanders #roman angst #roman sanders angst #remus sanders #sympathetic remus

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gumnut-logic · 5 months ago

Text

Diary of a Fanboy Engineer

Alexander Sweetapple series on Ao3

What's this? Is this Nuttyfic? Not a nuttyfic reblog? The first in ages?

Why yes, yes, it is.

Consequently, the writing muscles are a bit rusty so don't expect much.

However this was prompted by conspiring Thunderfam on this post.

It is a bit of a 'let's see if this idea works or not', but since most of my fic comes under that category, I'm hoping it works at least a little :D

So we have the beginnings of some possible Sweetapple Diaries :D

Many thanks to the wonderful @onereyofstarlight for proof reading and pointing out the bits that really didn't work :D ::hugs you tight:: And many thanks to the Sweetapple cheering squad - without you, there would be no Sweetapple ::hugs you all to bits::

Warnings for m/m fic and a bucket of fluff.

I hope you enjoy these little scribbles :D

-o-o-o-

14 Jul

We are going to Paris.

Mr Tracy told Virgil in no uncertain terms that he needed time off. I can’t agree more. Hell, all the brothers need time off, but Virgil has been flagging lately. He denies it, of course. Workaholic to the core. I can see where he is coming from, but really, he needs to take better care of himself - they all do.

Paris was an interesting choice. I’ve never been to Europe, but I guess that comes with the billionaire territory.

I am excited, there are so many opportunities in Paris. I’m particularly looking forward to seeing some real Da Vinci. Climbing the Eiffel Tower is also on my list.

But for our next holiday, I think we’ll choose a spot more close to home. I know some quiet seaside towns where we could rent a bach and just lay back and relax.

Maybe France has a few hidden corners we could climb into.

Anyway, it’s something to look forward to. Really, anytime, anywhere, would be fantastic.

-o-o-o-

15 Jul

Today wasn’t a good one. We had multiple failures in the latest prototype.

Erica isn’t happy. She says it isn’t my fault, but honestly, I should have seen at least one of them coming. The effect of vacuum on micro air pockets in a flexible solid is so obvious it was ridiculous. How did I miss it?

Dearest had to cancel out again. Mount Etna tried to take out some tourists.

Virgil isn’t happy. Apparently, he has been warning the Italian authorities about the destabilisation of the volcano’s eastern face, but because their equipment can’t detect what International Rescue’s equipment can, they don’t want to sacrifice the tourism euros to close the tours.

Fortunately, it was only a partial collapse and IR was able to save those caught in the landslide. I have to say though, Commander Tracy was furious in the holoclip shown on the news. I wouldn’t want to be person responsible right now. Scott can get scary.

I did get to see some cool shots of Virgil in action though. That, I could never get tired of. He and Gordon manoeuvred Two and rappelled down to pull people out of the dirt and ash.

They are such heroes.

I do miss him, of course, but those poor people needed him more than I did.

Maybe we can holochat later…oh god, it’s 3am already!

-o-o-o-

16 Jul

Erica woke me up this morning. Really, I love her, she is so good to me, but bloody hell, can’t she knock?

Okay, it was nearly eleven and I had my phone on silent and I didn’t answer the door and…

At least I had my pyjama pants on, I guess.

What if Virgil had been here?

She said that was the reason she barged in, Virgil wasn’t here - no great green ‘bird and Tracy Two wasn’t logged at the airfield, and I was late for work. I might have been dead or something.

She cares and I appreciate that.

She could have held off the laughter, though.

Besides, I wasn’t late for work. Work is on flexi-time and considering I was up until 1am last night analysing yesterday’s screw ups, my sleep-in was natural and totally allowed.

Virgil left me a message with a ‘maybe tonight’. I’m hoping, but if there is one thing I’ve learnt it is that whatever happens, happens. No hoping too hard.

So here I am writing this entry a little earlier to kill some of that hoping time.

We solved two out of the three problems we had yesterday. The third is being a pain in the ass. Erica says I should speak to John as this lies in his speciality. I said, not until we’ve exhausted all our resources because John is a busy man.

We’re all busy, she said, and he offered to help. Gordon helped with the water issues. I could even ask Alan.

Really? It’s not at the point where I have to go to the top to help solve the problem. We’ll give it a few more days. It’s urgent, but not life threatening like the Tracy brothers need to attend to. They’ve got enough on their plate.

But John has such a lovely voice, she said.

I swear she does this just to rile me up.

That or she does have a thing for John. You would think she would have a thing for Mr Tracy, he was the one who saved her from the earthquake. Hell, she and Fireman Fred still have a mutual flirting thing going on.

—!

Virgil is here!

-o-o-o-

17 Jul

The sun rose early this morning. Somewhere in our haste we forgot to close the blinds and the first rays of dawn woke me.

I’m not a morning person, I’m the first to admit that. But this morning…

You’re lying on your belly and the covers have slipped down to your waist. The sun is painting your skin in shades of gold and your hair is glowing.

You are beautiful.

…

PS: I haven’t read anything, I promise. I just needed to write the image down and this book was the closest at hand. Can I paint you some time?

…

He read the above to me when I woke.

Let’s just say I was late to work again.

-o-o-o-

17 Jul (cont.)

Virgil stayed at Māhia today. He helped with the issue we were having with the prototype, though we did end up calling John.

John was happy to help - man, he thinks fast. Don’t get me wrong, I love my math and my physics, but John seems to be able to bend both to his will. It took him a total of five minutes. Five minutes! To design a solution to our problem - in between rescue calls.

It was one of those daunting moments where I could see exactly why they work so well together.

Of course, I am working with V.T. Green. Just let me name drop that right here. And the Voice Who Answers…is my life real? How the hell did I end up here?

Frickin’ bloody amazing.

-o-o-o-

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #virgil tracy #alexander sweetapple #nuttyfic

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astranite · 10 months ago

Text

WIP oh-it-is-actually-Wednesday

This started from a prompt that I now can't find the post of and some ideas of @edutainer2022 's, and then my own, becoming John violently protecting an injured Scott from someone who wants to finish off the job. Warning for injury and hospital setting but we dont get further than that yet. Also general angstyness.

---

John’s chin slipped off his fist for the fifth time in not as many minutes. The hospital was simultaneously eerily quiet and noisily threatening in the liminal way they all were, no matter how many time zones you crossed.

Nurses footsteps sounded across the endless maze of identical halls outside their little room, always on their feet. Call bells screamed at John that something was wrong and he needed to act on it, no matter that they weren’t for him. He wasn’t on Five. He wasn’t in uniform. He only had one duty here.

Other patients clattered and machinery clamoured, the cacophony scraping against his skin, swirling into a single mass where he couldn’t tell apart friend from threat. The world spun as John jerked upwards again, after slipping into the jaws of sleep. He pried them off with a Tracy’s determination. He couldn’t take his eyes off of Scott. His eyes blurred, itchy with exhaustion until he rubbed at them with his knuckles.

The private room at the end of the building was too quiet, if taken on its own. Any room that contained Scott shouldn’t be this silent, John was nauseous even thinking about it, but there was his big brother swathed in pale hospital sheets, lying limply on the mattress instead of tossing, turning and pacing even in distress. He wasn’t meant to be still. If he was happy, he’d be in constant motion, in constant, running flight. He’d fidget, he’d lazily sprawl across the couch one second then dash across the room the next and wind up perched on a counter or desk, and when he had to stand in the same place he’d be even then wriggling his toes and shifting his weight between his feet, swinging his arms between broad gestures and parade rest. If he was upset, the movements would be louder, suddenly explosive even but he’d be moving.

This was the antithesis of a joyful Scott. Unnatural consciousness wasn’t something John hadn’t seen before, he’d seen Scott knocked out and concussed, or dosed up to his gills with painkillers. This here wasn’t even that, Scott’s body needed the rest with words such as hypovolemic shock thrown around too few hours ago.

John should only be glad he was getting some sleep. Should stop being such a child that he wanted to tug on Scott’s hand, to yell talk to me, play with me, let’s read about piloting space shuttles together, to wake him up. Selfishly, he wanted to drag Scott right back to him. No matter that it was John’s fault he was here, when came down to it. John could run every calculation so that the answer pointed back to himself.

Grandma and all the doctors and nurses said that Scott needed to rest. Virgil had said it as he left the room at the beginning of their nightshift turned over to John, brushing Scott’s curls off his forehead with a gentle, unsteady hand, blue eyes trying to follow him, dark bruised stamped beneath dark brown eyes. Virgil had been the one with Scott when it happened, the one to hold him stable by his fingernails, packing the gaping hole in his side around the shard of metal that had once been part of a home, as Gordon flew Two to [auckland general??] as if chased by all the hell hounds of the underworld. John had been the one to cut off camera feed to Allie sitting on the Island doing his school work. He had arranged the trauma surgeons to be ready upon touchdown.

Virgil had murmured Please don’t let anything happen to him, towards the windows at the back of the room beyond Scott’s bed, looking out to the stars. John didn’t know if it was meant to be a prayer to the universe at large or to him. When it all came back to it, it meant him. Virgil had squeezed his shoulder lightly before he left; whether he was seeking comfort or to comfort John, John had ran his hand down Virgil’s arm to grip his wrist, fingers rubbing at the protruding bone beneath flannel cuff.

Scott hadn’t moved since then, stirring only when nurses woke him up like John didn’t get to to check his responsiveness and note it down on their charts. The endless glowing boxes had twisted and melted the harder John tried to decipher the number, orange, black and blue bleeding into each other.

One had paused in their rounds to drape an extra blanket around John. He hadn’t noticed he was shivering. The nurse had a rainbow sticker and googly eyes stuck to their identification badge. The eyes wobbled with their every step. John wobbled with his every step when he came in, wasn’t that special.

He and Scott were still in the same places.

His brother looked dead.

John flinched from the thought.

He so easily could’ve been because someone had done this on purpose and the others might be oh so grateful they didn’t ‘succeed’ but to John this looked pretty fucking like success. Scott was hurt. John had been supposed to keep him safe, to see the threats and deal with them before this happened. Therefore he had failed. John had. Not Scott, never Scott, not even when he’d fallen on the pile of debris after fighting an armed and armoured assailant until the aggressor fled.

Was it bad luck that a twist of metal roofing had broken Scott’s fall? Was it good luck it wasn’t immediately fatal, was it good luck that it had missed his vital organs, taking only blood?

Did the universe, no matter how much John loved it, simply not care?

The room blurred, not only from exhaustion or his terrible eyesight again but John blinked the sparkles away and continued to stare at Scott.

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds fanfiction #scott tracy #john tracy #astrawrite #wip wednesday #thunderwhump

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katerinaaqu · 5 months ago

Note

Helloo I hope you're doing well :) I was reading about Hector and realised I've never seen him outside of the Iliad. Does he appear in other texts ?

Hello and thank you very much for your sweet words and your ask! Oh yes of course. Hector appears in a plethora of ancient Greek and Roman texts but the real test is to see him outside the context of the Trojan war! Hahaha!

For example Hector appears in plenty of texts by Apollodorous in various contexts and he even mentions how Hector was the one to kill Protesilaus and that is mentioned in several sources more I believe Hyginus included as well as a writer called Philostratus mentions the death of Protesilaus by the hands of Hector. Pausanias mentions Hector in one painting or image sitting in a mourning manner next to the Ethipian king Memnon after the Thracian Thamyris. Plutarch also mentions Hector in various of his texts in the context of Trojan War. Eurypedes mentions Hector in many of his tragedies. Strabo makes mentions to Hector during his geographical expeditions. Plato mentions Hector a lot in his work (even in Apology), Pindar as well as Diodorus Siculus. Last but not least we have Aristotle who mentions Hector in various of his works.

For other roman sources we have of course the Aenead by Virgil and Ovid. Even Pliny the Elder makes mentions to Hector and of course P. Virgilius Maro as he makes commentary on Virgils' Aenead. P. Ovidius Naso also mentions him in his work among other written roman sources including Horace

For his physical description we again have the classic cases of Malalas and Dares the Phrygian. And of course again we have kinda contradictory accounts on him:

Dares the Phrygian: Hector spoke with a slight lisp. His complexion was fair, his hair curly. His eyes would blink attractively. His movements were swift. His face, with its beard, was noble. He was handsome, fierce, and high-spirited, merciful to the citizens, and deserving of love. Malalas: dark-skinned, tall, very stoutly built, strong, good nose, wooly-haired, good beard, squinting, speech defect, noble, fearsome warrior, deep-voiced.

To name a few writers who mention him! Happy to provide the passages you want in the future. Most of the contexts in which Hector is being mentioned is around the trojan war and the epic cycle or used as an example for rethorics. ^_^

And of course do not forget how Hector's name is being mentioned to Linear B tablets! ;)

I hope this helps!

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askthelightsides · 22 days ago

Note

Okay! I have a question for you all! If you had one day to do whatever you wanted, one day where there were no limits or boundaries, not expectations or consequences, what would you all do? It doesn't even have to be legal! You can be as chaotic and outside the box as you each wish! This is like your most ideal day to do whatever.

J: There is no way we're staying out of this one

V: What the hell?! This blog isn't for you!

J: You really think you're going to stop you know who from a question involving chaotic not legal acts?

Re: I HAVE A LIST! LEMME FIND MY LIST!

Ro: Dear God...well, mine's easy! I'm off to New York to take in as many Broadway shows as I can, and when one strikes my fancy, go on as the lead!

V: You plan on kidnapping every Broadway baritone?

Ro: Not kidnap, just...maybe make sure their uber drivers take them somewhere else or something. I haven't worked out the details.

P: I'm getting puppies!

J: You plan on stealing puppies?

P: Oh gosh! No! Just adopt them!

L: And what about after this one day? How will you take care of these countless dogs?

P: Hmmmm Ok! So I go get an ice cream truck?

J: Steal an ice cream truck? Interesting choice

P: RENT! Rent an ice cream truck, adopt a bunch of puppies, take the truck and all the puppies to the park, then throw an ice cream social/dog adoption!

J: Seriously? THAT'S what yo do with a rules free day?!

P: Well think about how happy people would be!

J: Patton you are...something

P: Aww thanks, Jan! You next

J: Well I suppose I'd have a few errands to run, make sure Thomas gets another crack at that callback.

P: ...what kind of errands?

J: Oh don't worry, nobody is going to get hurt provided they do what I tell them.

Ro: Surprise you didn't try robbing a bank or something.

J: Ew! No. Too much mess. Art, however. Take in a few museums, maybe a grab a piece from each room. That sounds nice.

V: So we have like...our own bodies for this, right?

L: I certainly hope so or I think Thomas might be going to prison.

V: Ok...then I wanna go out. I wanna go out with Thomas's friends. I know they don't know me but I feel like I kinda know them and I don't know, maybe we'd get along ok. And then maybe go to like a concert or something.

Ro: Really? That's it?

V: Hanging out with people and going to a crowded place with loud music would be a big deal for me.

L: I feel like none of you are taking time into account. This is a day, yes? We'll assume a full 24 hours at best, and you expect to get all these things done? Virgil has been the only realistic one, no surprise there. Let's say I chose to go to The British Library, one of the largest in the world. That flight alone is almost 9 hrs, not including transportation to and from the airport or any possible lay overs-

Ro: Doctor Snooze! Enough! It's a rules free day, okay? Laws don't matter, time doesn't matter...physics don't matter! ANYTHING is possible, what do you wanna do??

L:...I would like to go to space.

Re: FOUND MY LIST! Ok! First things first, have sex on It's a Small World. Then I wanna lick every national monument. Then...and I know this is maybe a little silly, but I wanna try to eat a train.

J: how..would you..

Re: Haven't fully figure that out, I feel like maybe one piece at a time? Ooo! Then I go over to LA. They have this academy museum and in it they have have the Oscar Shrek one for best animated picture? I wanna see how far I can get it in my-

V: THIS! THIS RIGHT HERE IS WHY YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED ON THIS BLOG!!

#sorry this was so long! Everyone had a lot to say #also decided to make Janus orange here since he was in the same space as Logan #sanders sides #ask blog #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders

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beauty-and-passion · 1 year ago

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sooooo, latest video

Well... it seems like there is a video XD

Jokes aside, thanks anon for letting me know Mr. Sanders posted a video that was Sanders Sides related. Kudos for that <3

Then... I have some thoughts about this video. Thoughts I will divide into pros and cons, to make everything easier to explain.

If you don’t like long posts or reading criticism of any kind, please save yourself (and myself) some time and ignore this post. I won’t get offended, I promise.

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PROS

A real Aside

It looks like Thomas finally learned the difference between Asides and main episodes. It took him three years, but he finally realized that the Asides should be simple, no plot-related stuff. Good to see he finally got it.

(Still don’t understand why ATHD is a main episode, tho. It’s not plot-related and it’s very clearly more low-effort than FWSA and DWIT. Maybe Thomas didn’t want to leave it all by itself?)

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Some hopes for the characters

I was very relieved to see that the characters’ personalities are not completely butchered. There are a few things I will talk about in the cons section, but the overall vibe has stayed more or less the same. I’m especially relieved Virgil isn’t the fratboy he was in Thomas’ latest Instagram post, in which he talked all fratboy-esque and I almost expected him to bully me and steal my lunch.

The most in characters are Janus and Remus, which is nice to see too. Remus in particular, is still a chaotic rat man and I love him so much.

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Remus is my chaotic child

I personally think the best part of the whole video is Remus saying the others told him he could kill Bing Bong. I laughed so hard, I had to stop the video. That wonderful, chaotic rat man deserves to kill everything, as a treat <3

But actually, everything Remus says is great and that proves he’s the best, in this essay I will-

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CONS

A weird start

Let me recap my experience while watching the video for the first time.

So, the video starts and I’m welcomed by this guy with an orange shirt and blue hat, all happy and excited. For a split second, I think he’s Patton… but then, a Patton-esque guy with a sweater appears.

Okay, now I’m confused because I have no idea what’s happening here and don’t know who these guys are - I mean, if sweater guy is Patton, who is the orange guy? The orange side was introduced and I missed it? What’s happening here? Who are they? Are those the Inside Out characters as seen by Thomas? Will these guys meet their Sanders Sides “counterparts”?

But then another guy appears and he looks like Janus, so now I’m really lost because, seriously, who are these people? They call each other by name so they should be the Sides, but they also call the orange guy “Joy”, so who is this guy? Who are they? Are they the Inside Out characters cosplaying the Sides? Or vice-versa? What’s happening here?

I got my answer, only when Virgil appeared and clarified this was all a weird roleplay.

I have several questions:

Was it really necessary?

Why?

No, seriously, why? The Sides are the first to admit they aren’t an exact match to the Inside Out characters, so why doing this? Why flatten their multifaceted roles and personalities to do this? Because Mr. Sanders isn’t able to handle them?

Okay, fine, I know why Mr. Sanders wanted to do this weird roleplay and it could’ve been fun to see the Sides acting as the Inside Out characters… if only the Sides’ personalities stayed the same. But since their personalities are not the same anymore, all the viewers feel are confusion and a weird sense of “something’s wrong here”, which they can’t exactly pinpoint.

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Wrong aesthetics and confused personalities

In order to explain this point, I will bring two examples: Janus and Roman.

First of all, Janus. I know, he’s our beloved sassy queen and we all love him… but his aesthetic in this episode was completely wrong.

Janus is a character who wears layers upon layers of clothing. That’s the first thing you get, the first thing that characterizes him. But in this episode, he wears nothing but a gilet and a scarf. He shows with bare arms, bare shoulders, a deep V-neck and doesn't wear his gloves: for his standard, he’s basically naked.

You can tell me: “It was to match Disgust’s dress”. But since Remus put his own color on the costume, why couldn’t Janus put his own twist too? He’s not doing a perfect cosplay after all. So why not wear a sheer shirt underneath the gilet, to mimic the “nakedness” without showing his skin? Or a greenish/yellow shirt to match both his and Disgust’s aesthetic? I know Mr. Sanders loves to show his skin, but since he created a character whose aesthetic is to not show skin, why “strip” him just to show some more skin? Did Mr. Sanders forgot this aspect of Janus’ character?

But if Janus had at least his face and personality to remind us who he is, Roman had nothing. Seriously, look me in the eye and tell me that, when you saw that guy in orange, you immediately thought: “Ah yes, here is Roman”. There was no way to recognize him, because he had nothing of Roman.

First of all, not a single drop of red anywhere. And I know, roleplay and whatever… but Mr. Sanders is a theater man. He knows the importance of colors. He created seven characters by associating a color to each of them. And yet, Roman appeared without a drop of red, while Remus had no problem turning Fear’s sweater into green.

That doesn't mean Roman had to turn full red, but he could wear a red accessory at least: a bracelet, a necklace, a pin on his hat, whatever. Logan’s tie was blue after all. Or wasn’t Roman allowed to put a twist on his cosplay? This weird roleplay session gives me more questions than answers :/

Second (and most important), Roman’s personality was nowhere to be found. This guy is a more obnoxious, forced version of Roman. When he talked, I didn’t see a person talking: I saw Mr. Sanders reading a script. Or better, screaming a script. Seriously, why was he so loud? Why was he screaming this much, during the roleplay session? I almost got a headache and I don’t get headaches so easily. Seriously, if I needed to hear him louder, I could’ve turned up the volume of my computer, no need to scream this much.

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The makeup and the importance of details

The dark sides’ makeup has been butchered.

Remus’ eyeshadow used to be of a deep dark black/blue/purple. So why is it so light? Because of the roleplay? But it’s still light after the roleplay. What happened, did Thomas finish the eyeshadow? It’s not too expensive, can’t he buy some more?

Same goes for Virgil: his eyeshadow is basically non-existent. And that’s even weirder, considering that in the Christmas episode, he said he wanted darker makeup to match the darkness of his soul. Does that mean his soul isn’t dark anymore?

And then, Janus. My poor, beloved Janus. His makeup used to be impressive, with scales of a deep green/yellow/brown hue: now they look more like a weird, yellow-y rash, with a thin black line crossing them (probably made with an eye pencil?).

I know Thomas doesn’t have the same makeup artist, but experts exist. And if the one he has isn’t doing their job well, then I’m sorry, but he should hire another one. That’s not being mean, that’s being real.

And before any of you says: “That’s just a detail, you’re being nitpicky”... sure, you can see it like that. But let’s say someone gives you a cake and when you see it, there are missing decorations, the fondant doesn’t fully cover the cake and the phrase “Happy birthday” is wonky. And when you eat it, it has a weird aftertaste too. Sure, it was a gift, but would you think “That was the best ever!” or would you think “Thanks, but you could’ve spent a little more time making it better”?

Heck, you can apply the same concept with this post too! If I posted something with incorrect grammar and misspelled words, would you be happy? Or would you think “man, you could’ve spent a couple more minutes to correct it”?

Skipping details doesn’t make me think you care about your work: it makes me think that either you’re lazy or don’t really care. And if you’re okay with something with missing details, good for you. But from someone with a certain degree of expertise/professionalism like Mr. Sanders, I expect something professional too.

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Subtle vs thrown in your face

I enjoy the “Janus being a wine mom” thing: it’s funny, it makes me smile, poor boy dealing with the little shits he has around, please give him wine.

But you know what’s really funny about this? That it’s subtle. It happens once in a while. It’s not thrown in the face. And it’s not thrown in the face like that, with Sides luring Janus with wine, almost as if he’s an alcoholic and you can use wine to make him do anything.

Also because the whole “Janus loves wine” thing doesn’t work too well with the functions he embodies. I mean, this guy is responsible for lies. Do you really think lies and alcohol work well together? You need to be extremely lucid and focused to be a good liar. And I don’t think I have to explain to you why alcohol and self-preservation don’t work well together either.

So seeing him with a glass once in a while is funny, but seeing him being all like “you promised me wine” as if wine is his drug… that’s not funny.

Speaking of things that are funny when not thrown in the face, let’s talk about “falsehood” too.

Just like the wine, falsehood was funny when it came once in a while. It wasn’t a switch you could press and bam, Logan says “Falsehood!”. It was a momentarily outburst because Logan’s main reaction isn’t to yell: Logan’s main reaction is to explain things by using cold logic. Because that’s who he is: logic.

So, when I see him dropping a “falsehood” like this, I don’t enjoy it. I feel it old and stale. And it saddens me too, because it looks like Thomas is using the easiest bait to get his fans’ attention. A bit like a bunch of dangling keys: see? Your favorite character says his catchphrase! Now laugh!

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Apollo gave me the gift of prophecy (or maybe it was just too obvious this would happen)

Right after Roman stops screaming, Virgil starts screaming. And he does it in the most out-of-character way, for the most out-of-character reason.

Since the Q&A episode from season one, Virgil was the first one to tell Thomas that Anxiety looks different for anyone and that he specifically chose the dark persona to keep “everyone’s guard up”.

So why is he complaining so much about a movie representation of Anxiety now? And why should everyone remind him that hey, Anxiety looks different for everyone? He should already know that. He was the first to tell that.

Do you know what this is? No, not a pathetic excuse to talk about a trending topic (i.e. Inside Out). It’s proof I was fucking right and of course I was, because I experienced it too.

What did I say in my old post about the problem with this series? That SaSi doesn’t have an outline. And what happens when you don’t have an outline and, instead of focusing on that project/writing an outline, you do 20 other different things instead? That more time will pass. And the more time will pass, the more you will forget things you already talked about.

Like, you know, a topic from season 1 that was clarified, over and done by the same character who now forgot it.

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The golden goose will never die

Call me a conspiracy theorist or just an old hag with a heart of stone. But I really would like to know the real reason why, deep down, Thomas made this video.

I doubt it was because he missed the Sides and wanted to do something with them. He doesn’t miss them the slightest, it’s quite clear. He doesn’t even care enough to remember what their personalities are supposed to be, how can he "miss" them?

But oh look, there was new merch to advertise. And Inside Out is a trending topic and the fandom knows about the association between SaSi and the movie. So if Mr. Sanders makes the right video at the right time, he can get a lot of views with minimal effort.

But he should advertise a shirt with all Sides in, so he can’t just make a video about Virgil reacting to a trailer: he needs all of the Sides to be there. So, let’s rush a video with the first idea that popped into his mind: that Virgil doesn’t like the Inside Out take on Anxiety.

Maybe that’s not what truly happened in his mind and behind the scenes. Maybe Mr. Sanders really just wanted to make a video with the Sides and I’m a cynical, heartless person. Personally, I would be way happier to know I was wrong and there weren’t ulterior motives behind this video.

But without any actual proof, I won’t believe this video was made just for passion. Passion doesn’t make you skip details. Passion doesn’t make you put on a sloppy video, without taking two more minutes to check if your characters are IC or the topic you want to talk about makes sense.

Believe me, I’m very sad to say this. I don’t want to think all of this. I always try to be optimistic and think good of people. But if this is what I get, how can I believe this video was made with good intentions and no ulterior motives? Especially since it’s coming from a guy who can be accurate, detail-oriented, and very subtle while acting? He did all of this in the past: now it looks like he forgot everything.

If you want to still watch this Aside, do it. If you enjoy it, even better. For me, that was just a tiny waste of time and it left me nothing except a momentary smile. At the end of the day, I don’t even care enough to watch it twice. And for me, that's a failure, coming from a series I used to watch on repeat.

#sanders sides #ask #ts criticism #I guess #thomas sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #logan sanders #at this point I'm just sad

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