#we finished 4-2 today
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i like klavier
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#selfie bee#me telling a coworker who I have been working with for 4 months and whose name I do not know about my toenails#i'm sorry Tobias (?? Paul ??) it was the only topic I could come up with after I already told you about the big bird I saw in 8th grade#FRIENDS how are you!! :) how has the new year been so far!!#did you have a lot of snow on christmas!#we did and it was really fun! I had a very bad cold so I just watched the snow from inside but that was good too c:#do you have any plans for the new year?#i always have lot and most of the time I do not do any of them but planning is fun#this year I REALLY want to watch all of Star Trek ヽ(´∇`)ノ#I would also love to learn how to make a handstand#imagine if you could just make yourself upside down#but it is a far away dream because honestly I am not very good at being usual side up most of the time either#but I will try probably at least 2 times to learn it ( ᐛ )#maybe I'll finally finish that website!#new years are good and fun#it's wild to think about how much daily life has changed since last year but I feel just the same :)#who knows what this year will bring!#I hope I don't hit a pheasant with my car#I almost hit a pheasant with my car last year and the pheasant made direct eye contact#I wonder how he is doing today#since that moment I think about pheasants a lot#I knew they were real but I had never seen one#just to know they are out there is a mystical feeling#right know it is raining so all the pheasants might be wet#get dry soon pheasants!!#I don't think I've ever seen a wet bird either#I don't know what do do with all these birds thoughts#also thank you for the person who asked about my skirt!! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅#I've finished it and its really really bad#but I love it
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eulogy
#i was fully going to just wrangle my way through life for another 39 years when my friend said to me:#you are gay and we want you to submit art for the pride art show. but i hasn’t drawn at all since last year so i made a new comic from scr#i was also having one of the worst times of my life all of the past week but every night after sobbing into a friends shoulder or wtv#i’d sit down and draw. and then today i locked myself in the basement for 5#hours and now he is finished. trans allegory or whatever#happy pride#world is horrible so hold the people you love close#i am trying . succeeding? not really but definitely trying#i have gone now through the 5 stages of grief. 1) eat food 2) eat food 3) hit rock 4) hit rock 5) give up#i Give Up. i give up by living my life without giving a fuck#which is like. actually giving down. or taking away down#idk anyway#i hope you’re well i’m HANGING ON BY A THREAD. BUT A GOOD THREAD#and to my lgbsbfk homies: i love you#my art
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After reading Michael J Sullivan's progress reports and seeing that the next series is likely set after Riyria Revelations I would like to conclude that Elan has the funniest reading order. So you start with the fourth series chronologically. Then you read the third one (but actually you can read this series whenever). Then you go to the chronologically earliest series, then the second one, then only do you go to the fifth. Hold on I gotta draw a diagram
#you guys get the privilege of seeing my shitty handwriting today#riyria#riyria revelations#riyria chronicles#legends of the first empire#the rise and fall#elan#michael j sullivan#however for me it was revelations chronicles 1-2 legends 1-2 chronicles 3-4 legends 3-6 rise and fall#and of course the rest of chronicles aren't out yet. i think michael should include major spoilers so we can fuck up the reading order more#you actually have to read half of this series then this whole other series then only can you finish chronicles#and in the end it's all useless because revelations chronicles and legends can all be read first#i don't think rise and fall can though but it sure would be a funny experience
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I just realized the most tragic thing - that I cannot gush about 31st October being Dziady / Forefathers' Eve because it's a Polish thing and none of my mutuals know what it is and no really good translation of the dramatic works exists to have them read it :(((
It's like a traditional Polish Halloween and nowadays it's mainly known from Adam Mickiewicz's (he's to Poland what Shakespeare is to England) 4-part drama centered around it. It follows a tortured poet (my blorbo, I love him) during the time Poland was partitioned and erased from the maps, its people oppressed but always fighting back. It is one of the most important and culturally significant Polish works ever created. And it's got, like so many themes, so many themes you guys. It's one of my favorite works ever one of my all-time dreams is to play Konrad, a protag from part 3.
So if anyone does know it or is interested in finding out more please please please message me or drop an ask I'd love to infodump!!!
#Come to the Forefather's Eve! We got:#DARK EVERYWHERE SILENT EVERYWHERE WHAT WILL HAPPEN? WHAT WILL HAPPEN???#hello i came to you to ask for Church's approval of our Christian-flavored spiritual seances and it's a national tradition so you gotta#today's youth has it too easy they cannot enter Heaven like that at least give them a yucky mustard seed#SHE HAS A FLOWERCROWN ON HER HEAD AND A GREEN WEED IN HER HAND AND BEFORE HER RUNS A LITTLE LAMB AND ABOVE HER FLIES A BUTTERFLY#*mama Imelda from Coco voice* a living boy in the land of the dead?!#romantic love evolving into (!!!) platonic love which is portrayed as better of the two (!!!) <3#Konrad <3 just. Konrad ily. the sad poet#can i call it the cell block tango? i'll call it the cell block tango#the og vampires!! everyone say thank you Slavs for giving you your favorite Halloween monsters!#milliyon TM#Mama Mary rescuing a feral blorbo by not letting him say the Ts word while blaspheming#Poland becoming the Jesus Christ of nations!!! (look it up it's true)#if i had a nickel for every villain struck down by lightning as God's punishment in Polish Romantic literature i'd have two nickels#why can't we find the cute boy i wasn't interested in before but now kinda am? cause you're using his DEAD NAME MARYNA!#so first part is Dziady 2 and the second part is Dziady 4 and the third part is Dziady 3 and as for Dziady 1 it was never finished so we#don't know where it falls chronologically and also there's the Pilgrim poem which is like a sequel to Part 3 and ther#and many many MANY more. it's so good you guys#dziady#adam mickiewicz#gustaw#konrad#wielka improwizacja#mała improwizacja#upiór#vampires#Polish literature#xix century Romanticism#forefathers' eve#🇵🇱
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so far absolutely nothing has gone right for me this morning to the point its like. almost comical
#1) nightmares. 2) tried to set an alarm to wake up but that led to me having another nightmare about the sound instead of waking up#3) felt like shit the moment i got up w a migraine but i can't take today off class. 4) way too fucking cold out#5) both the elevator and the crosswalk stalled on me this morning so i ended up late to class#6) the elevator didn't work so i had to drag my scooter down the stairs (difficult bc of the stairs)#7) we are doing presentations today in class. i haven't finished mine. i can turn it in tuesday IF my classmates let me and they aren't.#so i am about to look really stupid#i hate myself#rambles
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I try to fit in at work by participating in collective commiseration but in my heart I am feeling like "GOD I feel fucking incredible do these fucking idiots not know about performance enhancing drugs or what"
#also I was. by choice. the one doing all the most physically demanding work these past 4 days. because I'm the only one physically capable.#because whenever i let anyone else even attempt to do so they would take so much time that it scared me.#If I wasn't there#they wouldn't have finished. Plain and simple. What was a 4 day project would've taken 7.#or more#This is a consistent issue btw they schedule teams that dont make sense for the project.#i was working with a really slow 60 year old woman who was stoned all day#and a 75lb indian boy who smokes a pack of cigs a day#and a tiny new girl who was trying her best to keep up#and my sedentary lifestyle team lead#we had pin girl the first 2 days#yestersay the district manager popped by to help briefly at the end of the day#and then today we had some dude helping but by that point i mean all the hard shit had been done#ok but obviously i was doing better at the easy stuff too and by the end of the day when everyone was shutting down i was just starting#to really pick up speed#like i was actively perfecting my techniques. it was incredible. it felt incredible.
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Cozytober - Day 27 + 28 - Rainy Window + Steaming Mug
What a difference a day can make
#Cozytober#Margot's RF Art#Rune Factory 2#RF2#In which we remember how much early games traumatized protags with rain- and then give a good day later#I wanted these two days to be a juxtaposition of some sort and wound up with these two!#Originally these were going to be started and finished tomorrow- but I'm busy tomorrow so both done tonight!#Also tell myself to stop ditching sketches. I had an entire DIFFERENT bg started last night. Did lots of rendering.#Came home from work today. Looked out a window. Saw a branch and trees. Realized that kind of side view would be fun. Pivoted#I'll save the old BG maybe recycle it next year or another time#WEEK 4 IS DONE. WE ARE ALMOST THERE.#Rune Factory Aaron#RF Aaron#Rune Factory Aria#RF Aria
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Think it may be time to make the tough choice :/
#I got rid of a ton of stuffies a few months ago#but I have this half stuffed 8ft teddy bear#and it’s so cute#and holds so much emotion in it#Teddy asked to buy it when we first got back together#and as a joke I said he could get it when I graduated#honestly not thinking we’d still be together#but 4 years later he got it lol#and we got a ton of stuffing and it only ended up half stuff#and there’s some poetic shit to the fact that it stayed 2 years past that only half stuffed#and I’ve never had it in me to finish stuffing it#but also don’t have it in me to give it up#cause it’s so representative of so much good in our relationship#but also such a sore reminder of how quickly that love and care dropped off in the end#getting rid of it feels so damn permanent#will probs just rearrange with it for now cause typing this all out made me realize#I don’t have it in me today
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i will not lie zurich 2021 lucia was great i enjoyed it. i might’ve not understood the staging at parts but tbh!! it was cool i liked it
she’s so skrunkly in this
alisa is so me trying to understand the staging here
i don’t blame you girl your brother threatened to hit you over the head with a box
reminds me of a doll… also the running mascara!!
a Lightbulb.
good stuff!
#ash binges lucia [2023 colorized]#<- i realize i’m gonna have to change the tag because it’s almost 2024#irina lungu#massimo cavalleti#roswitha christina müller#call me crazy for watching 1 1/2 opera today but i’m on break it’s ok. (finishing guillaume tell as we speak. i am about to start act 4)#lucia di lammermoor
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musings on insects, isolation, and how much can change when you're not looking
#i started this like a month ago#and finished it today because i was laughing at how much the sentence 'i'm going bug hunting with my partner' would kill pre-college me#but yeah. i'm still learning to accept that i'm not alone anymore.#learning to love insects was easy. it's a lot harder to learn to love myself#in the wise words of a fic my friend wrote: it sucks so bad sometimes. but even when it sucks it's better.#personal#insects#also all of the scenes in the middle two pages are specific memories that have contributed the most to why neither of those things are true#1. meeting my partner in an entomology class i took on a whim#2. the fateful 8 hour dnd conversation on a field trip for that class that started our friendship#3. trip to a museum (i also could have drawn the part of that trup where i got to hold a cockroach but i don't have a picture of it)#(and i really like that picture of her)#4. seeing a cockroach on the way to class and both of us yelling 'oh my god a little guy!'#5. working at an insect collection together (oh god the things our boss has probably heard)#6. seeing a boxelder bug on the way to see a movie together (we always saw insects when we spent time together)#7. seeing fireflies for the first time when i visited her over the summer :D
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it’s finally getting cold enough that i can bring my cardigan collection back into rotation without feeling like i’m gonna melt into a puddle the second i step outside!!!
#Seven.txt#my face#i have rematerialized back out of the void to once again make my once-in-a-blue-moon selfie & life update post#i’m running on 4 hours of restless sleep and the single banana i ate for lunch earlier today. let’s do this#hrrrrg i hate the lighting in my bathroom but i refuse to take pictures in the absolute Mental Illness Disaster Zone™️ that is my bedroom#anyways. got diagnosed with Mystery Pain Syndrome at the dentist today. so now i take ✨steroids✨#the less funny explanation is that my tooth still hurts with pressure nearly a month post-root canal and That’s Not Good#so we’re trying some new medications to see if that fixes it. and if not then who knows. root canal pt.2 the sequel. or extraction. sigh#and so the Dental Saga continues. todays visit went quite well in spite of the unforeseen mystery pain delaying the tooth-shaving plans#we had some time to kill so he managed to fill some of my other tiny cavities while i was there today so that’s good#okay moving on. what else. uhh. OH they finally came out and ran the fiber to the house last week!!! now i’m just waiting on one more-#-guy to come and finish the interior install and the long awaited fast internet will finally be mine eheheheheeeee#now i can feel my hours upon hours of unedited gameplay footage breathing down my neck :)#man i’ve got so much stuff piled up right now. i’m drowning in Tasks and it’s a lil overwhelming but i’ll handle it all! eventually#uhhhhm my current writing project is coming along well! i’ve never put so much time and effort into a oneshot before in my life#its a labor of love though and i think i’m gonna be really proud of myself (and the fic) once it’s complete#even if no one reads it bc it’s so goddamn self indulgent and kinda lowkey throws canon out the window but like. fuck it!#if i want Astarion to write a song on piano and perform it for me while mentally taking me on a trip down memory lane. then so be it#fr though i’ve never written anything quite like this and i rlly want to do it justice. even if its unrealistic i still want it to be Good#in other news i received word that one of the chickens i sponsor at my local Gentle Barn has passed away so i had a lil cry abt that#i feel so bad for his little tiny chicken wife. they obviously loved each other and it’s like. so sad when one half of an old couple dies#like. she pulled him out of his depression after his 1st wife died. now who’s gonna be there to pull Her out…#anyways let’s not get all sad about that again. in happier news my cat who i presumed died/got killed has returned home uninjured!!!#after that huge stray dog chased her into the woods i thought we’d never find or see her again#but then the morning after i started grieving her she showed back up hungry as hell yet completely unharmed like the enigma that she is#so that’s one definite highlight from earlier this month. uhh what else. rapid fire summary of the past few weeks let’s go-#Jersey turned 10! Bullet turned 10! my 6 year Veganniversary happened! i’m approaching 700 days on DuoLingo!#i’ve written more than 20 thousand words! i’ve been facing some fears! fighting my OCD! taking care of myself! (kinda!)#anyways things are far from being all sunshine and roses around here but i’m trying to focus on the good stuff for the most part#for now tho i have a headache and have reached 30 tags so it’s time to go shovel some mashed potatoes into my mouth :)
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14 I love you to hell and back but istg stop running towards juggernauts like your lil pistol is gonna take them out
#look i just finished the doomsday heist for the 12th time in the last 5 months im gonna go off!!!!#it took my crew 1.5 hours to beat rescue agent 14 today with 2 complete restarts (we were doing Criminal Mastermind)#and i swear to god my beloved man ran out there 4 times despite us trying to get him to get into our kuruma#my brain is full of doomsday heist stuff its horrifying#agent 14#doomsday heist#gtao#gta online#reu blabs
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my stomach hurts so bad i’m literally dying
#stream#maybe it’s bc i’ve had 2 tunnocks biscuits & 4 clementines then washing it down w 4 cups of coffee ALSLAKSALKSLSKSLASKLAKSA#like 😭😭😭😭#i’m Suffering#i need to do this paper that’s due thursday 😭😭😭#still haven’t started & im a bit fucked i think bc tomorrow is Therapy Day & that’s 😭😭😭😭😭#very much Needed but then i’m going to a meeting w mr ohio to talk to a professor then i need to come back & actually do the paper / finish#the paper bc tonight i’m going to JUST do preliminary reading & maybe get quotes#i think that’ll be good enough for tonight then tomorrow we can get the quotes on a doc & then build up some arguments & then make a rough#framework & then i can expand wednesday before turning in after polishin on thursday#that’s my plan ok swag#but also i need to cook do laundry & do dishes & clean my bathroom today#but it’s only 7.30 now so i’ve got TIME i can DO IT#but i need to be in bed by 1/.5a bc i need to be out of the house by 8.10#i’m grossly overestimating my ability to get shit done#like i’ll do dishes & laundry & cook & that’s probably it#i didn’t do dishes laundry nor cook & i also didn’t start the paper lol#ain’t clean the bathroom neither
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...
#bleh. dont burn yourself out kids#everything ive been a part of for the last 4 years in this lab has to b published eventually#and i just had my 1st paper published. probably the most interesting thing i worked on and how do i feel abt this? i dont feel anything#but bitterness. every congratulations i hear i just wanna say fuck off. dont encourage this. do u kno what i did to make that data exist#as u see it? i mangled something within myself beyond repair. enjoy the information if u want but i wont#all i see is a symptom of an illness im doing nothing to treat#everything i did in this lab will be seeped in anger and pain#it has to change. i wont let it be the same in my next lab. no more fucking timed experiments#i cannot b trusted to b normal abt them#ugh. i just feel bad bc i finished my measurements for the week and i have a 2 day lul until i leave on vacation#and i kno i have to get 3 heavy instruments to fedex tomorrow bc i didnt do it today#sigh. i csnt focus. i spent so much time today tryint to remember what im supposed to b doing. then i made myself mad writing out the#hypnoses for an experiment i didnt fuckinf design and i dont care abt. like y did we do this? idk i just fucking do what u tell me#maybe ill go run again. i dont wanna do anything#my dad yesterday: ready for vacation? me: yea 😭😭😭😭😭#just gotta not crash my car on the drive to the airport bc i have to drive myself there 🙃#unrelated#i hope the instrument manufacturers appreciate the unicorn tape i got specificly for shipping those things#bc how could i not when given the option?
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if i can make it under 250 pages itll be a miracle i think...
#twist rambles#pretty confident i wont hit 300 at least? so thats good lol. but i have 4 main story missions left and then im done :) so thats good.#more length will probably happen from like... doing 5 billion image descriptions for the monsters of which there are 50 but i stay brave ok#as long as its not 300 ok... im so brave.... but its so weird to nearly be done :) ive done a ton of work today on it while watching stuff#which helps my productivity so much... watched get out today while i worked and could barely get work done bc i was SO entranced by the fil#but... we are making progress hoping to get maybe 2 more quests done today? and then maybe finishing the entire game tomorrow. we'll see...#at least 1-2 today. either way im SO close.#♟️
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