#we dont even have to have a dynamic set yet

[florafounda]

hello yes I'm redoing Kit's carrd and i wanted to add a relationship/mains page of people inherently connected in some way to kit, lemme know if you wanna be included!

[liquidstar]

who's ready for a repeat of the heartbreak of round 1?

[arolesbianism]

Yet another beautiful day to have the Maxwel tag blocked (can't see half of the posts in the Wendy tags)

[choism]

A Flashy Plan | b.tc

Captain Buggy x Crew!gn!Reader

Genre: Smut, Crack

Summary: A tough day and a tired crew calls for correction in the captain's quarters

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: sub!buggy, gn!reader, but you can imagine reader with a strap or a dick, unprotected sex (bad !), overstimulation, improper use of the chop chop fruit, buggy's head is elsewhere, semi public sex, multiple orgasms, buggy is a babygirl honestly, and a brat too

A/N: I said I would write it and I did! Look at me keeping promises for once lmao. I hope you all enjoy and dont forget to reblog with your thoughts <3

Today had been a rough day for the Buggy Pirates. There were two attacks, both just outside bordering islands, which meant they couldn’t stop for supplies for quite a while. Stopping meant bringing the attacking pirates near the island, which would cause panic, which would cause bounty hunters and marines to appear at the mere sight of their flag. No, they had to flee, and quickly.

Now, afloat the east blue with no real course yet, the crew was in sore spirits, especially their Captain. Buggy had been extra mopey– extra mean to everyone, and that included you. You and the captain had a…special relationship. Sleep together occasionally, cuddle occasionally, but that was the extent of it. It was just two pirates trying to find sense in this barren sea, and you two happened to end up naturally floating together, pun intended.

You were fed up. All of the crew had suffered losses today. They were starved, thirsty, and just wanted to rest but that was impossible when aboard the ship of the man to be King of the Pirates. Buggy was just making everything worse by poking the bear.

“You all suck! Not a very flashy move to flee an island all because of some lowly pirates. We could've done better.” He spits at nobody in particular, but he looks at you briefly and it sets something off inside of you. The crew disperses and you immediately make your way to the clown.

Buggy is back in his captain’s quarters, bent over the desk and presumably overlooking something, while mumbling to himself. You walk in and quietly close the door behind you, tip-toeing behind him and whispering in his ear, “So what wasn’t flashy about avoiding us getting caught by marines, hm?” You smirk and feel him stiffen at the desk.

“I- I didn’t mean you y/n! You were fine I just think that–”

You don’t let him finish, Spinning him around and pinning him to the desk, leaning fully into his space now,

“Think what? That we are no better than lowly pirates? You know better than to insult your crew during such a hard time, Bugsy.” The nickname rolls off your tongue smoothly, sending a shiver down Buggy’s spine. Outside, he’s the captain, but in his attempt to escape the harsh reality of a Captain’s burdens, he submits in the bedroom.

You, on the other hand? You like control, dominance. You like to feel like you have a grip on whatever flimsy string life is, and this is how you take that initiative. It’s a great dynamic and there have been no complaints from Buggy’s end. Well…Unless we are talking about his rear end…

“Fuck y/n wait, I- I’m sorry okay let’s just talk this out, oh!” You press your knee into his crotch, he’s already half hard from being talked down to of course. Buggy whimpers and trembles beneath your touch, anticipating what you’ll do next. You reach your hand up to hold his jaw and place light pecks at his neck, lowering your hand to grip his neck lightly.

“Head on the table sweetheart.” You smirk and step back, starting to unbuckle your belt.

“Why what are you going to do?” Buggy takes off his hat and his headscarf, letting his long blue locks fall around his shoulders in heavy waves. You would never admit it to him, but you find Buggy so gorgeous, if he offered up anything further than some situationship at sea, you’d probably take him up on it. You stare into his green eyes, giving him an answer without even saying anything. Buggy makes room on the desk and pops his head off, gently landing on the wood.

“Well? Take off your clothes too, slut.” The degrading name causes Buggy’s cock to jump in his pants, now fully hard from the unbelievable sexual build up. He makes quick work of his own clothes, now fully nude in front of his crew mate. You’ve gotten your own clothes off as well, having grabbed the spare lube Buggy keeps in his desk and slicking up your own cock. “Turn around for me baby.” You command him and he swiftly complies.

His plump ass is fully on display, his flush cock hanging heavy between his legs and leaking precum like a faucet. You lube up your fingers, warming it up and spreading it over his hole, making sure to get him ready for your fingers.

“Mm please, please do it already.” His head begs, looking at the sight with his eyes heavy, lips pouted and whimpering. 

“You don’t get a say in this, you get to watch and look pretty.” You grip his jaw and he looks up at you, nodding. Now fully bent over the desk, some things falling over, you enter a single finger, crooking and prodding at him to stretch him properly for your cock later. Buggy lets out loud groans next to you, clearly enjoying the sensation. You add a second, and then a third finger, the lube slick sounds bouncing off the thin walls of his quarters, the crew is probably hearing everything. 

You fuck into him deeply, hitting his prostate over and over, his cock leaking all over important documents on his desk as he ruts into it, chasing pleasure.

“‘M cum…gon’ cum…” He lazily says, and you halt all of your movements. “Fuck why please nng ah!” You swiftly enter him, filling him up with your cock and mercilessly fucking into his wet hole. Almost immediately, he comes all over the desk and onto the floor, but you don’t stop thrusting. Buggy lets out strings of ‘ ah ah ah’ with each thrust.

“What? Can’t handle me being a little rough? How do you expect to handle those ‘lowly pirates’ if you can’t even take a cock properly without cumming instantly?” He’s a whimpering mess, drooling and looking at his own body being fucked. Buggy can’t even form words, the overstimulation causing him to get hard again quickly.

“N…” Buggy starts to say but you can’t hear him. You grab his hair and lift up his head, forcing him to be face to face with you as you pound into him,

“Spit it out.”

Buggy laughs half-heartedly, “Not flashy enough.”

You reattach his head and flip him over on the desk so his legs are in the air and his cock is flush against his stomach. You enter him again, fucking him even harder than before. “Is this flashy enough for you, clown? Wanna be fucked dumb like the cockslut you are?” You feel your own orgasm approaching quickly, you wrap a hand around Buggy’s pathetically leaking cock, fisting it so you can finish at the same time.

Soon after, you both finish, Buggy making a mess of his own stomach, some of it even reaching his face. You pull out of him slowly.

“How’s that for a flashy plan, captain?”

© Choism 2023. do not repost or translate.

[the-invisible-foe]

what are some common misconceptions about pathologic characters that ur sick of seeing in fandom spaces

anon thank you for blessing me with this wonderful ask this fine day

i'm gonna keep it pretty short for daniil because i don't want this to become a defense post about him and i think i've already said all there is to say but literally can we stop mischaracterizing him to this degree? it's very obvious that daniil does care about the town and the people around him given that he keeps trying to help in any way he can even when he has nothing to personally gain by doing so. and unless you're going for all the 'i'm an asshole' options in his dialogue he's actually polite and even endearing at certain points? especially that considering that during his own route he's pretty much thugging it out on his own, if anything helping the other two playable characters instead of the other way round, but in the haruspex and chageling route he's the one you turn to for help when stuff gets tough. here's a post that includes some of his lines that illustrate this point. also the implication that he's some clueless asshole that doesn't know what he's doing while artemy is The Good Doctor That Saves Everyone TM is a horrible misreading of the story and the framing of the plot. the bachelor's route is specifically a story about a person who finds themselves in such a hostile setting that, despite their best efforts, is unable to find their footing and ultimately fails at everything they try to accomplish. by interpreting this aspect of the game as daniil himself being incompetent you have missed out one of the most major points this game is trying to make.

as for artemy, i partly blame this on the developers themselves and how they handled his p2 characterisation but i dont like how the grittier aspects of his character are ignored in favor of a loving father persona. artemy can be a huge dick in classic, as can all three playable characters and a big part of why i like his and daniils relationship so much is because they're both these cold, reserved, introverted guys but allow themselves to enjoy an easier dynamic between them. i think that aspect of their relationship doesn't really work if you hc artemy as someone who is kind and cheerful from the get go.

in a similar vein i also don't like how perceptions of clara often boil down to silly teenage girl who makes meta jokes when her character is so much more than that. people completely ignore the unflattering aspects of her character, like how self-righteous she really is. i mean she's literally making it up as she goes and yet she feels so confident in herself and her methods that she finds it acceptable to trick the only two doctors into a rivalry (and then sell them out to each other for supplies despite fully believing that they intend to kill each other). also, most of the time she is not as silly and impish as people make her out to be- that's mostly the changeling. in the moments when she is herself, clara is pretty depressed.

i also dont like anna angel slander because, is she a child murderer? yeah. was she also abducted as a child herself and found herself in an extremely difficult position at a very early age? also yeah. iirc correctly shes 18 in the game and the ace of diamonds events happened years prior so basically she was a child herself. not that its wrong to criticize child murder because obviously but the way some people speak about her is insane.

also this is completely hc based and of lesser importance than everything else but i have difficulty getting behind anything remotely kinky when it comes to burakhosky because to me they will always be the kind of couple that read in silence next to each other before falling asleep at the late hour of 10:30 pm.

[bulbabutt]

if i can be corny for a second i wanna talk about the greatest strengths of the 2003 tmnt series and why it speaks to me (esp as a queer person)

so i might have alluded to this before, but let me say it outright: each show is definitely a product of its time, and the ideals of whatever generation its from. whether talking about the humour, the story, the dialogue etc, its always important to remember that these shows will always come off in a way due to the generation theyre from. and thats not a bad thing! it just means its important to think about them from that perspective.

2003 is a show of my generation growing up, and a thing about that era that maybe some people younger than me wont understand is there is so much more language commonly available to describe yourself now than there was then. you can take this in any context; mental health, sexuality, gender identity, or even just the ability to describe your relationships with more (idk if this will be the right word) therapist language.

in 03 we have a family unit of splinter and his sons, each with their own strengths and weaknesses. we have a splinter who hasnt opened up to his sons about the trauma hes experienced, but not in a way of shutting them out, simply because it isnt their responsibility to know as they are teenagers. he tells them of the mutagen that created them, but not of his past with his master yoshi, who he calls father when by himself, but never around his sons which is just an interesting concept to think about.

(i do not intent this next sentence as ragging on the two shows after this when i say it, simply from a character standpoint) this is the splinter who completely doesnt make his problems his sons problems, but he also is very willing to tell them the truth when he knows they're ready. this is is the most idyllic version of splitner out of all of them, even when comparing to his mirage counterpart (who hes the most based on) due to that splinter raising them to be ninja specifically to make them fight shredder. this one is just their father who loves them and wants to keep them safe the best way he can, and he was never a human in the first place to even know how to be that. so this whole family dynamic starts with him, and the way he raised his sons reflects his parenting.

so, the setting and year this show is made is 2003. something very relatable here is how there isnt a lot of language for the personality quirks of the turtles. there's so much evidence here for mikey having adhd, his brothers will say things like "why doesnt mikey have to help?" and the answer is "well, he'd be bored. and whats worse, mikey not helping or mikey being bored?" its this beautiful moment of, "hey, we know its not fair, but thats how mikey is, and its better for everyone if we just respect that thats how he is" mikey cant keep his hands off stuff, they know this they dont yell at him for behaving that way, they just stop him. this coding feels the most specific, but like i said. its 2003. we dont have the words to describe what this is yet, and if we do its not common knowledge.

another example is in the classic episode where raphael meets casey jones. raphael is sparring with mikey, and he lashes out and nearly kills mikey. everyone reacts to this by getting him to stop, and no one is more upset than raphael himself. they all tell him to go get some air, which he does. theres no moment of any of them screaming at him for losing his temper, its very clear that they all know he's going to do that himself. and he does go get some air. they all know thats what he needs. he goes and meets casey jones, another hot head, and raph has to help coach this hot head on his anger. when he comes back at the end of the episode after having let out that aggression, he apologizes and no one is upset with him. there's a very clear understanding among his family that he cannot help it, but the best thing they can do is give him his space when he needs it. watching this from a 2023 perspective (20 years later) im sure we could analyze this as a few things going on with raph, my mind comes to autism but at the end of the day it doesnt matter why he behaves like this, the point is that he does and the best thing his family does is just...help him. which they do. and they never hold it against him.

when leo is going through his ptsd arc hes at his closest to raph as a character, the show draws a lot of parallels (like having him go let out some aggression with casey) and we get to see the dynamic in reverse. in "i, monster" (the rat king episode) leo is losing it, taking on rat king alone and not wanting to let up. raphael is actively holding his brothers back when they say "we shouldnt leave him to fight alone", raphael says "if leo gets in trouble i'm the first one in there, but right now it looks like leo's got more than one monster to work out of his system" raph doesn't exactly know what leos going through, but he recognizes it. he knows he needs to fight alone, so raph lets him. its only when the building collapses and leo is no longer in a safe position that he says "leo lets go", which leo wordlessly agrees with and actually listens.

this is what i think is the best part of these guys, the unconditional understanding they have for the way they are. we still have our "raphs a big hot head" "mikeys annoying" jokes, but they feel like genuine good natured sibling ribbing because they know each other on that level.

and to go back to the fact that this show is set in 2003, there's something so specific about the way mikey constantly makes references to liking women's clothing, to being fine with feminine language, and to being open about being the pretty turtle who "has that effect on minds of men" speaks to me as a queer person. this could easily be intended as homophobic jokes and probably is, because again.... its the mid 2000s, thats very much what media was like, thats what the jokes were. especially with the girly screams mikey does being one of the first jokes of this nature.

but theres something that happens in season 4, where an alien is attacking mikey, and donnie rushes in and says "hey, thats my sibling" that sticks out. and it happens again in fast forward. when talking to the dark turtles leo says "you and your brothers" "me and my siblings"

because of the way this family unit just understands each other without ever having a conversation about things, it feels like its not a joke. theres some kind of affirmation happening here. even if it seems like i could be reading into it too much, its specific! and it keeps happening!

and by the end of the show, when mikey says he wants to be maid of honour, even if that line in the media itself was intended to be a joke, no one in their family treats it like one. of course mikey is the maid of honour, he asked to be one! the only real offence taken is when april says bride's maid, to which he is offended because hes so much more important than that!

so from a story standpoint, this show doesnt have the intricate complexities and butting heads of latter iterations, there isnt much relationship growth to be had (in fact once we get to around season 5 the flanderization of the characters kind of begins and it loses some of the more complexities) but thats because its just not the focus of the story! the story is more about what they go through together, and thats fine! thats what our shows kind of were at the time. not saying there isnt any relationship growth, but its very much not the focus because these turtles? they already understand each other in a healthy way.

so to me, these guys are kind of the most wholesome family unit

[cherubispunk]

NEPHILIM: THE FALLEN - Jackson-era!Joel Miller x AFAB!Reader

summary: fallen or damned? who's to tell when it's joel miller?

a note from Lucy: DONT HATE ME I KNOW ITS BEEN A LONG TIME!! Not entirely happy with this but it's been sitting in my docs for months now and i had to get it out there to give me some peace of mind so please be aware it may well be riddle with grammatical mistakes and typos galore. as always like, comment and reblog to save a sinners sanity!

playlist | moodboard + poem

wc: 2755

Warnings: 18+ MDNI DARK CONTENT! Jackson era!post outbreak!Joel, no use of y/n, reader is referred to as ‘Bambi’, verbally constipated Joel Miller, brief gore descriptions, heavy religious imagery and references to the bible, biblical lore, yearning, idiots in love, angst angst angst!!!!!!, bombastic age gap!!! yahhhhh! (reader is in her 20’s/ Joel is in his late 50’s), smut, oral sex (m! receiving), rough oral sex, possessive!joel, dom!joel/sub!reader dynamic, you know the drill with my writing, there’s probably some form of cannibalism as a metaphor, or brutal violence as a metaphor, religious imagery as a metaphor, etc. (aka, fancy word vomit) - Lucy crying over a bloody google doc :)

series masterlist | m.list

Ephesians 2:3 Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest.

The sky was bruised. It was like God– or whatever resided up there– knew. The grey clouds, and the garish yellow of the setting sun, and the deep blue that ebbed into purple…they all knew. Your heart ached too. Bruised. It seemed to crack a little more each day. What started as nothing more than a hairline fracture had split into a gaping, weeping slice. Why? Because Joel was always quiet. For such a large man he had a ghostly habit of creeping into a room without notice. Creeping into your heart too through your hollow ribs. You could feel him behind you now though. His breath thick on the nape of your neck and it cooled the thin sheen of sweat on your skin. Soothed your burning flesh while saving it from the inferno. The tension became bearable. These little spaces of empty matter between all else. That slight awkwardness about his usual stoic yet confident demeanour…it was endearing now.

You were easing into the silence, content with watching the bruise darken from purple to midnight blue. The sky would turn on its bright little stars, and the moon would slice through sapphire as the early evening aged. The sun was going to rest now, the greying moon taking its post to watch over the town. You should follow the sun’s direction. Close your eyes so as to not have to witness his all too soon departure.

His fingers, so gentle, so strong, gently traced the curve and divot of your hip under the covers. It was strange to think just moments prior they had been inside you. Making you feel boneless in bed.

“Bambi?” He asked, tentative and uncharacteristically uncertain. He loathed it; the change in him.

“Mhm?” You hummed lazily, your hands tucked under the pillow to keep them warm, knees curled up to your chest. But no answer nor following question came. You knew what it was. He was cramming something back down his throat before he had the chance to say it for fear of being out of line. One day it shall choke him blue. He was strung so tightly. Tension in his shoulders that made them rise uncomfortably. And you noticed this when you turned to face him. Neither of you spoke for a moment, as if you were fooling yourself into believing he might continue. Your heart cracked a little more when he turned to face the wall,

“Never mind. It’s nothin’.” He had no reason to be weary of you. However in the past few weeks, coming up to a month, there was subtle, almost imperceptible unease that lingered. And festered. Palpable. Tangible. You could feel it when you reached out to touch his skin. So warm and gorgeous. Golden like ichor in this setting sunlight. You dared to press your lips to the wing of a shoulder blade, skin mangled with scar tissue where you liked to imagine wings once resided, and felt him flinch under your featherlight kiss. “Don’t, Bambi.”

“Joel-“

“I said: No.” His voice was firm, and didn’t give much leeway for convincing. “It’s not somethin’ you know how to fix.” But you were stubborn now. You’d found your feet. You stood your ground more, imitated behaviour. Before he could turn away again you reached to right him, set him flat on his back upon the mattress and splay your hand over his soft stomach under the covers. His throat tightened when your hand ventured timidly south. Then his breath tangled in his throat when it wrapped loosely around his half hard cock. Gently stroking it until it stood to attention in your palm. “Let me help…the way I know how.” You whispered into his ear, running your tongue under his earlobe to bring it between your teeth. Voice like honey, so sweet, and smooth, and slow pouring enough to get stuck in. Jesus Fucking Christ, he hated himself for even entertaining the idea of letting you do this for him. For being the one to help you find your feet. For being the man who tarnished innocence. It seemed all he did these days was ruin what little good there was left in the world. He’d taken an entire inkpot to a pristine sheet of paper, splattered black all over it without a care in the world until now. He felt like the space between you was stygian and reeked of his own sin. It simmered and spat and writhed and any moment now I would boil over the second you came to terms with the fact you were too good for him.

His nostrils flared with the thought but with a twist of your wrist he melted. Because at the base of it all, the very depth of his humanity, he was a selfish, selfish man. You watched a swallow pass down the thick column of his throat and rested your head on his shoulder while your hand dragged up his thick, full shaft, thumb smearing a bead of precome over the delicate flushed skin of its head. Joel watched the ceiling and wallowed in pathetic self pity as you kissed your way down his navel, lips moving in a mumbling of words he couldn't quite hear. He let out a breathy moan when you wrapped your lips around the tip, pressing your tongue flat to the underside to let the taste seep onto your tongue. He then closed his eyes trying to imagine anyone other than you between his legs. Another mouth. Another tongue. Someone else's voice.

It was no use because it seemed your eyes, the shade, the shape, were printed to the back of his lids. He gave up. He was too old to try to partake in sisyphean tasks.

Joel sat up and you moved between his legs as he threw the covers off to watch you. His back to the headboard, your warm mouth inviting him deeper, he hesitated to press a hand to the crown of your head, but when you pulled off to lick a flat tongued strip from base to tip, he found himself taking a fist of your hair and righting you over the head completely, pushing down so he slipped into your mouth. Muscle memory had the twitch of a smirk forming at the corner of his lips. The sight of you was enough to have his hips begging to buck, chasing the back of your throat, attempting to find that reaction again.

What you couldn't take of him you wrapped loosely in one hand and the other cupped his balls, adding the slightest pressure that had a dirty cuss passing his chapped lips. Deep inhales billowed in his nose, nostrils flared slightly as he dragged your open, salivating mouth up and down on his length. What he would never understand is how much you hungered for this every time. There was a pain in wanting him like no other, and a reward this great sowed the seed of pleading. You didn’t mind yearning for him because, to you, being hungry was quite a satisfying feeling. It feels nice to want something. To yearn. To have a purpose. You imagined he felt quite the same with the way he could hardly keep his hands from your cunt or your mouth when you passed his front door’s threshold.

“Look at me, Bambi.” He grunted, and your eyes fluttered slightly before the hue of them locked on his through your tear clumped lashes. “I’d like this mouth a whole lot more if it didn’t say such pretty things to me.” He almost lamented, and you felt a tug at your heartstrings. “Makin’ a man hope again.”

Joel sighed, eyes closing for the briefest second. His large hand was still pushing your head with the gentlest of force back down, then his fingers gripped at your hair, dragging you again so the warm, silken touch of your lips and tongue made the fire in his belly start to burn. It was aching, and deep rooted, and had a slow simmer to it. One he begged to hurry along. Joel wanted nothing more than his release so he could set you free again. Set the bird free of its cage. So he threw caution to the wind, and soon you felt the tip of his thick cock reach the back of your mouth again, your throat constricting. “Why won’t you hate me, huh Bambi? What did I do to deserve this?” He asked. If you knew no better you’d have thought his tone implied he hated it. His teeth gritted, words seethed between them. He spat it out in a way that made him seem unworthy of your attention— or the very taste of the thought disgusted him and made his stomach pull up in a wretch. Joel bit down so violently on nothing he swore his molars might turn to dust and clag in spit with the way he was salivating over the sight of you; Puffy lips, bloodshot watering eyes, messy hair. Bent over him and sucking on his cock like it was your only goddamned purpose in life.

You wanted to reply, splutter out the words, but he silenced you. The tip of his cock brushing the back of your throat, and causing your stomach to recoil, tensing as you gagged. Retching slightly as he grimaced at the sound. “You know I can’t love y–” he stopped mid sentence as the ache bloomed into a deep burn. You were oh so grateful because it meant you wouldn’t have to hear what you yearned not to. What you buried deep beneath your stomach and above your diaphragm— that slow, blooming ache. The feeling would never see the light of day. You’d rather die than come to terms with the fact that Joel would not be yours. He belonged to the world. The mass of nature that befell you. That which kept you human and incompetent. He was large, untamable, and oh so delectable in all ways other than matters of love. Joel Miller could not love you.

“Fuck- gonna come, Bambi.” He choked out, head falling back. You looked up at the sight of him through your lashes, lips parted, his brows creased gently in the space between them. Just as you yearned for him to love you, you yearned to be destroyed by him. Coated in him, broken down to pieces by him. Joel Miller could quite literally break you in half, then half again, and again— to the point where nothing was discernible— and you'd get on your knees to thank him for it all. Maybe loving him and being destroyed by him were two in the same?

In the months you’d known him you’d grown to learn that this was as close to a purpose as you’d get. The world robbed you of one, so you searched for it. Selfish enough to keep digging to find one. Only it had no purpose. It has a pattern now, and patterns trick and deceive people into believing in divine intervention. Joel was your divine right. Your purpose. That was what you believed. What you thought about each night. What you thought about now as you took his cock down to the base, the head of him brushing the back of your throat and folds soaked– drenched in the essence of your own arousal. All of which was emphasised by the ache you felt between your thighs that ebbed a little deeper with wanting. A ghost of the pleasure you felt when he was inside you. You entertained it with two fingers slipping between your thighs, teasing your clit. “God— Bambi…” He groaned, eyes rolling back in his head as he let go. Hot ropes of his release flooding your mouth with their heady, salty taste.

You pulled off his shaft, now wet and slick in your own saliva, swallowing a mouthful of his release. His eyes never left you, honing in on the ripple of your delicate throat as you swallowed his come down. Joel couldn't help but hook a thumb into your mouth to unhinge your jaw— to see if anything was left. Nothing was. There never was. Like him, you were too selfish to leave anything.

He should have known better. You never disappoint. “Bambi, you’re too damn good for me.” he panted, skin sweat slick and flushed.

“I promise I'm not.” you whispered to the skin of his lips before he wrapped a large, steadying hand around your arm and pulled you up to his chest. His face met yours and when you looked into those hickory eyes you could have melted on the spot; For the hue of them was nothing like you'd ever seen before, and could command nations to their knees. And if not nations then it could certainly do so to you. “I’m just as damaged as you.`’

The words had his gut in knots because they were akin to holding up a mirror to his visage. And holding his head in place. Holding it still so he was forced to look himself in the eyes and reflect. Reflecting on the monster he’d become. The monster he would always be.

“I’m not asking you to love me, Joel.” You spoke, your voice quiet, slight and timid. Uncertain of his reaction. The way your eyes met his was proof of that. Wide like a foal, wide enough to register the unjust curl of a lip. “ I’m just asking you to stay…”

The words had been burning the tip of your tongue red raw. Each night as he lay beside you, the same questions— words made up of nothing but consonants that had a profound effect on you– would hardly let you rest in his arms. They tortured you instead; Mocked you. It was the equivalent of hanging. You could feel the ghost of a noose around your neck. It might as well have been His hands. It was as rough as them after all.

What is wrong with you? What is so repulsive about you that warrants his departure? Was it the curve of your hips– their dips? Or even the bump on your nose– how dare it not have the perfect influxing curve! The slant of your eyes? The jagged stretch marks on the inside of your thighs! Not only had they the nerve to exist in their silver, shining mockery, posing as a diamond, but they had the fucking nerve to sit where others could see. Fuck them entirely and their very existance. Were those very thighs plump enough? Too plump? Why was there no gap between? Was there too much of a sag to your breasts? The colour of your nipples– why did they have to be that colour? Were the lines on your forehead marring your skin? What on you– about you– detested him? Because if you knew you'd cut it off. You'd change it. You take a knife to your nose and cut it off even if it was just to spite your own face. Now, laying here with him, you wish to be anyone but yourself. Yourself was the woman that disgusted you. It would always be the woman that disgusted you if he didn’t fall in love.

“That's jus’ the thing, Bambi.” He sighed, his mouth moving in a slow hushed mumble. His wind chapped, weathered lips grazed the shell of your ear, “I already do.” Followed by silence, and then: “An’ I ain’t no good at it, I’m afraid.”

That was the problem. Joel thought it had to be a life lived in an entirety of carolling laughter for you. A warm, joyous time. The kind of peace the world seldom granted anyone anymore. Not bound to him by the twine of his selfish nature. In the wrong man’s bed. If the world had told him anything before it was that he deserved to be alone. First Sarah. Then Tess. Ellie too. It was only a matter of time before you left too. He had no clue that what you wanted was just to be held. To be kept. He didn’t have to carve out a hole in himself to accommodate you. Nor give an arm or a limb. He just had to stay. Exactly where he was now. Exactly as he is. But selfish men believe in selfish things. And Joel Miller was a selfish man.

Maybe he wasn't. Humans are, after all, selfish creatures. If we are innately selfish does that make us selfish, or just human. Regardless– Joel was selfish. Yes. But more importantly: He was the damned, the scrutinised, the beggar. All of the above.

Joel Miller was, and forever will be, the fallen.

[theflashjaygarrick]

New animated Robin movie has been announced starring Dick and Jason!!

This is really interesting because it proves that Gunn's era of DC is committed to telling stories from different periods in DC's history. So even if Brave and the Bold is about Damian as Robin we can't rule out projects featuring earlier iterations of the Batfamily.

That being said we dont have confirmation it's set in the DCU and not an elseworld yet.

EDIT: The original deadline article had allegedly a synopsis that referenced something about them both being orphan thieves but that was soon edited out. Not sure if that was a complete mistake or seen as a spoiler but I seriously hope it was the former. I demand biblically accurate circus kid Dick Grayson.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Platonic tadc cast with a child reader Who is like :

"hey, wanna see me do a cartwheel :D"

Basically very spontaneous and chaotic in the adventures lol

Ty!! (and remember to drink water) ;3

TADC cast x chaotic!kid!reader ! (Platonic)

Guys I'm literally so tired I just got done baking a ton of stuff, like I'm talking 12ish hours of non stop cooking and baking I'm going insane im trying so hard not to fall asleep rn because I kinda. Feel bad for not really answering requests today

Anywahs

Hope you enjoy anon!

Written on mobile

CAINE:

Well well how the turn tables (writing caines portion last for once)

Very similar to kinger and ragatha in that he supports everything you do; in fact he encourages your behavior as long as no one is getting hurt. Very loudly (and sometimes obnoxiously) cheers for you

While kinger can only cheer and clap, I think Caine sets off sparkles and fireworks... probably has a whole group of bubbles cheering you on too , assuming there can be multiple bubbles at any given time (I personally think there can be, and they all share a hivemind of sorts)

So what was the occasion that prompted that?

A wonky cartwheel, of which you excited called "a sideways front flip"

(Fun fact from the admin, I called my first cartwheel that bc I didnt know it was called a cartwheel yet)

POMNI:

Anxious parental figure and hyper child, a dynamic that's hit or miss at least for me. Really it depends on how its executed

That said I think she struggles to keep up with you

Constantly scrambling around you make sure you dont fall into any danger. Literally and figuratively...

Her attempts to get you to sit down for more than five minutes fail

Your ass is failing the marshmallow test/j

RAGATHA:

No thoughts only that one clip from adventure time where BMO pretends to be a wheathervane before trying to nose dive off the roof, all while calling for finns attention. Thats you and ragatha, basically (in essence, not exact scenario though)... maybe zooble too, but we'll get there when we get there (I am currently having a brain blast)

Says things like "what am I gonna do with you" everyday, always lightheartedly of course and usually accompanied by a tired chuckle

Generally very supportive of you though, just so long as you're not hurting yourself! Sure, this is the digital world and injuries dont really stick, but still! The pain is still there

JAX:

I mentioned the marshmallow test in pomnis part and I feel like jax would do something similar with you. Except the test is rigged and the candy (which he uses in place of the marshmallow( is actually for him and not for you. So if you actually earn the extra candy you dont even get it

That said I do think jax would feel bad when you get upset about the joke

Anyways

I think he finds it funny, as long as you're not tugging on his overalls and screaming at him for something, or interfering with his plans

Hes not a neglectful rolemodel/familial figure, he just has a short fuse with the above I think, regardless of who it is, kid or not

That said he fully embraces your spontaneous nature

KINGER:

Peepaw and his grandchild, that's it that's literally the dynamic

"Kinger is only 48-"

Hush♡

"Oh that's so lovely, (reader)" when you run up to him with your hands full of god knows what

Eagerly claps and cheers when you show him a new trick you learned

Bonus if you try to recreate or one up his embellished stories in order to make him proud of you (hes always proud of you)

ZOOBLE:

As mentioned in ragathas part, the wheathervane BMO thing is basically in essence you guys' dynamic. Except where I think ragatha would be quicker to pay attention to you, zooble may be a little slower. Not because they dont care about whatever you're trying to display to them, but because I think a lot of the times they kind of mentally check out (me too honestly)

Tries to scold you if you do something too dangerous or out of line, may come across as way angrier or upset than they actually are though thanks to their voice being kinda

You know

Zooble gives off "cool older sibling who doesnt care about nothing" energy

GANGLE:

Meekly tries to get you to calm down for a few minutes, especially if theres an IHA going on because she doesnt want you to run off and potentially get hurt. Tries to keep you occupied with arts and crafts. Watches in horror as you impulsively eat the glue

Tends to wrap one of her ribbon hands around yours so she knows you're not running off.. this is more so when theres an IHA going on

As per usual not many ideas for gangle <\3

[autisticjoshrusso]

ok ok ok. a post about josh, buck, and maddie at dispatch as promised. (and because i dont feel like writing a whole separate post or repeating myself etc, if im pointing something out as evidence for my autistic josh headcanon, it'll be in parenthesis like this) also this is long because im going basically line by line in some places so just be prepared for that and such.

the first thing i wanna say before anything else is that like... as far as how this conversation fits into the larger narrative, i was fairly disappointed, due to the way that including this scene like this is kinda implying that the racism was fine because of being closeted etc. HOWEVER. luckily for my sanity it is pretty clear that from a character perspective, that's not at all what's being said by josh himself here, and we can be pretty certain that he is not aware of tommy's past behaviors. in fact he has almost no facts or context about the situation, which i'll get into later.

now that the disclaimer is out of the way, im gonna move onto character analysis and will not be touching on what i think the narrative might have meant etc. any further. like this is going to be purely talking about character dynamics and dissecting the dialogue etc.

we start out right away by skipping all the exposition right into a hard cut of maddie reacting to the news that tommy and abby were engaged. LOVE this set up we get right into the important part quickly and we as the audience only have to hear information that is new to us, not the information being repeated back to the character for whom the information is new.

and oh maddie. i love you so bad. she's like DAMN thats crazy, and then makes the obvious turning people gay joke. her energy here is sooo like it didn't make sense until looking at it in retrospect, but she's shocked and invested yet not taking it very seriously as a concern for buck, because well, she's having a baby and this is objectively not that serious comparatively <3 but i do love that she sees buck's reaction and quickly reins it in and is like woah im kidding im not actually being homophobic holy smokes. which. it kinda still is a little. but i think she's allowed <3

and then... josh enters the scene. he apparently only walked in as buck was saying "-kissed a boy" so of course he had to be like huh? gay shit? something gay? boys?? what's going on over here? and i love that for him. and i love that maddie immediately is like oh hi bestie i catch u up to speed on the tea <3 the maddiejosh bestieism is so back we never lose <3 and that fact that she's like. feeding in the facts in a way to dramatically amp up the tale i love it. she really said man the things my baby brother gets himself caught up in are wild.... anyway <3 true sibling behavior is finding the perfect balance between being supportive and being so so annoying <3

and she is supportive still. like when it becomes clear that there's something deeper going on here she does try to help him work through it. and its so interesting to me the way she is sort of seriously contemplating his words and is shocked when josh not only speaks up but is being very serious and equally focused on the problem at hand. it's like... she's trying so hard to figure out how to help her brother with something she doesn't fully understand that having someone else speak up to help them kind of shocks her and boy does that say something about their lives and the buckley sibling dynamic!

side note, the way josh is jokingly like "she didn't bring her personal life to work, unlike SOME people" and maddie's little look of mock offense?? they're so cute i cant handle it.

i also really love how the shots are framed during this conversation. at first, even when she's not talking and is just listening to josh talk, maddie is still in frame, we're still getting her reaction, she's an active participant in what's going on. and then there is the one shot where she's talking and josh is out of frame, hidden by buck, because whatever reaction he might be having isn't important, it's a buckley sibling moment. (he's not an active participant at that point; he's entirely observing and reacting and gathering information, not dictating the direction of the conversation whatsoever.)

it's only when josh gets very serious and it starts to turn into a heart to heart moment just between him and buck that maddie is allowed to leave the frame. it still goes back to her in very brief cuts when her reaction is relevant, but she steps back out of focus and let's josh handle the conversation. and i love that so much. thank GOD someone else is helping buck sort out his problems that isn't his parentified sister or just generally someone more marginalized than him. it was kind of getting irritating to watch, as much as i love buck so much. like dude... the emotional labor. watch it.

and man. this conversation guys. everything about it makes me an insane crazy person. ive already mentioned this in the tags of some other posts but like... its so fascinating because on the surface it is such a cohesive conversation, but when you really break it down and analyze both of their expressions and body language alongside what they're saying, you can start to see the cracks in it. what one of them is saying is not what the other one is hearing, in both directions. they are having two different conversations and i think it's critical to analyze both of those conversations and how they are interacting with each other. what josh says, what josh hears, what buck says, and what buck hears are four entirely separate things happening alongside each other.

the first part is josh trying to get a sense for how serious this relationship is to buck. when buck falters at the question of "do you love him?", he elaborates with follow-up questions that, to josh, define "love" or close enough to it. answering "yes" to those questions is close enough to a "yes" to the question of "do you love him?".

(which. ok. the particular choice of questions makes me insane because they do essentially boil down to "do you prefer this person to solitude and grant them an equal or greater importance to yourself?" which is sooo... it's said from the point of view of someone who greatly values their solitude and would not easily grant someone that level of importance.)

unfortunately, well, buck is NOT someone who greatly values his solitude, and puts other people before himself quite easily. buck would answer "yes" to those questions for basically anyone. josh does not know or understand this about buck and takes buck's answers at face value, while buck is taking this as sort of... it's hard to explain, and i think others have done a better job of capturing buck's perspective already tbh. he's convincing himself that he loves tommy here because josh is unknowingly handing him that information and expectation, and buck loves to mold himself to fit an expectation etc.

and then comes the second part, which... i think this is where it is most critical to realize that josh has none of the context about tommy, abby, and buck and those respective relationships. by his own admission, he didn't really know much about abby or about her breakup with tommy beyond the fact that it was upsetting. he didn't hear the way tommy talked about abby to buck at dinner, and he definitely didn't get to see any of the real fallout and damage to her psyche that tommy leaving her caused.

but buck did! im not inclined to rewatch s1 to get any exact quotes or anything but from what i remember, she either outright said or implied that she was so heartbroken because tommy left her because of her mother's illness. buck is understandably very upset because he understands exactly what she went through and how, unless abby was lying to not out him, he didn't exactly come clean with the breakup, and left her feeling like it was her fault, like there was something wrong with her or she was being weighed down by caring for her mother. he calls tommy's behavior exactly what it is: dishonest and cruel.

but josh doesn't know this. all he is hearing is a young, freshly out bisexual calling a gay man "dishonest and cruel" for having been engaged to a woman for his own protection. and he responds exactly how you'd expect! he reminds him of queer history and the fact that he doesn't really have a right to judge the people who grew up and had to survive in a world that was much less safe to come out in.

(and i said in my other post that's still doing numbers that "pre-Glee/post-Glee" is an actual queer discourse talking point and makes sense that it'd be used here, as awkward and cheesy as it seems, but it's also a win for my television/film/popular media/hollywood culture/etc. as a special interest headcanon. <3 we love to see it)

and it kills me because of course buck is just going to take this at face value and decide he needs to stop feeling the discomfort he's feeling, leading to the subsequent doubling down and over committing that is typical of his unhealthy relationship patterns.

(and then at the end of the speech josh has to literally announce that he's leaving DSJFHJKDSKJ. because walking away/ending conversations is so awkward and difficult and the easiest way to mitigate that is to lean into the Dramatic Homosexual Stereotype mask or whatever <3 i've long been of the opinion that josh is someone who uses the behaviors associated with queer men and queer masculinity as the blueprint for his neurotypical mask, which is why he often comes across as being just a little bit off from the Funny and Bitchy Gay vibes that it seems like he's going for. and boy did his exit from this scene just reinforce that headcanon so hard!)

they wrap the scene with a little bit more levity too which is kind of nice to like. move on from that. because it got kind of heavy there for a second.

overall i do like what this scene accomplished, but like i said at the start, i think it has some really unfortunate implications that weigh it down for me. still, always nice to get more josh content, especially when it's pretty consistent with his character as established AND not at all related to doing his job. we got to see him and maddie being goofy and maddie being allowed to let someone else deal with buck's problems for a second. and the whole thing was very well shot! excellent camera work going on throughout.

i don't actually know how to end this post so yknow. im gonna make a dramatic exit now or whatever <3

[gallierhouse]

asking for opinions about armand on a friday night is crazy because ive been terrorizing the people in my life about him for a month and now?? im being asked to talk about him?? anyway so i couldnt get thru s1 back in 2022 bc it felt like a kind of rehash of hannibal (character dynamics wise) in a different setting and kind of bored me. i really liked louis in the pilot and honestly would just watch a historical drama about a black pimp and his gens de couleur family in 1930s nola and that was cruelly ripped away from me and ill never forgive lestat. BUT THEN s2 arrived and i gave it another go and armand just rose out of this show as a character ive truly never seen before?? his identity-lessness, his role as a bad stage director, that eager black hole growing around 500 years of life, its so fascinating. the Moment for me with him is obviously the donor painting seeing the whitewashed beautiful pleading garish (when compared with the real man) painting just shifted something in my soul. and THEN getting hit with the arun/maitre stuff and them the entirity of ep5 directly after? ive literally memorized the loumand argument from listening to it so many times Television of All Time fr. i love failmarriages that rot and decay and are inescapable and loumands whole thing felt so good and fresh and so so tasty. those bitches do not like each other. they dont even like each other and yet theyve stayed together for 77 yrs in a relationship built on abuse, spite, and 24/7 power exchange bdsm and thats CRAZY ! plus ive never seen toxic yaoi executed so well with two nonwhite, darkskinned characters and as a south asian that lowkey made me happy lol. anyway i love armand so much he sucks so bad but i do feel deeply seen and deeply compelled by his little gremlin ass

I miss Louis’ New Orleans era too. I get why Lestat fell in love with him, though, if I saw this beautiful creature pull a knife on his own brother in the middle of the street I’d stop at nothing to pursue him. It’s alluring. I think that’s the part of Louis Lestat has always loved and loathed most, his fierce independence and survivor’s instinct and capacity for violence. I say loathed because Lestat’s always torn between wanting Louis like that and wanting Louis to be his little housewife. He’s stupid like that.

I thought his stage direction was nice. Were his plays “good”? No. But were his notes well thought out? Yes. His notes for the trial were good. So it’s the playwright’s fault the scripts were bad, actually.

Re: his identity, I really think he’s doing fine. Not everyone needs a laundry list of hobbies and characteristics to “have an identity.” It’s true that Armand molds himself into whatever shape that’s required of him and sometimes he makes erroneous assumptions about it, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have an identity. I think Armand doesn’t perceive himself as having an identity, and it’s obvious that he structures his life around whatever role he’s occupying, and that it’s all very fragmented and difficult for him to see the continuity in it, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have an identity. His priorities and thought process are fairly obvious to the viewer, so that’s his identity. You can see the structure of his mind. That’s him. Right there. We don’t have to wait for the “real” Armand, he’s already here.

I don’t remember when I started loving him, but it was before the painting. Maybe the hunt, or when he starts participating in the interview. The painting did change something for me, though, and so did the bench scene. But I liked him from the start of season two, really, from the moment I found out he’d essentially been stalking Louis the whole time in Paris. I like him most when he’s got a little bit of edge, but then again, I love him when he lies. I actually have a shirt with their argument printed on it. It’s so fucking funny.

Well, I think there was love, at least before Armand strangled it to death. I don’t know if Louis ever loved Armand again, not after the trial, but I think Armand loved Louis, although not in a way that would really be comprehensible as love to anyone else. Maybe only the way you love something you own. But I think he at least enjoyed the performance of it. Besides, all the best relationships are 24/7 BDSM built on abuse and spite. You don’t agree? I think it’s very romantic.

Yeah, it’s the first time I’ve seen something like that too. And it was the greatest thing ever and I’m really glad we got a South Asian lead, even if I’m unsatisfied with AMC’s promotional strategy. One million seasons of Armand and one million posters of his face splashed across all major cities around the world, please. He’s perfect! More people should see him. More people should be subjected to him.

[maxthesillyy]

what do you think about the characters in Double Exposure so far?

the characters themselves arent that bad,, but i definitely cant say i really care for any of them yet. as in i wouldnt be that upset at any of their deaths

at first i was NOT vibing right with Safi at all considering literally all of her jokes are straight up hit or miss, but the more we learn about her (or. learn that we have a lot to learn) the more i’ve grown interested and fond of her. she kinda gives Way Too Excited For 8 AM Teacher vibes.

Moses is kinda intriguing to me right now, but is also pretty much a nothing burger,, i can only assume (and hope) i’ll see more about him after chapter 1. so. he’s kinda silly, thats about it.

OH Loretta. i hate her so much, she’s so funny, i love her. i always love to hate a good bitchy girl character. oh my cod— ESPECIALLY when the look she gives Max if u try to call her bluff. im definitely hella excited to see more of her— especially since she clearly brought out the more bitchy side of Max. honestly so far i think these two’s dynamic is my favorite. she kinda feels like Max, Victoria, and Rachel all smushed together.

then theres Gwen,,, the game’s definitely setting us up to be suspicious of her. i dont have many thoughts about her though other than that. shes hot ? kinda endearing when shes not pissed at us. thats about it.

Amanda……………. 😒 she exists ig. no fr though, she’s literally fine. she feels more like a quirky best friend disney channel character than a real person. and then theres with the game SHOVING her and max together… idk! maybe ill warm up to her. i dont want to hate her but the game is very quickly pulling me down that route.

oh then the other guy max can flirt with for some godforsaken reason?? Vinh is his name i think. i dont trust him, and i dont think were supposed to. personally i think it feels ooc for max to openly flirt with him back— especially so quickly,, even if she’s doing it jokingly or smth. like girl you were just either talking about how you can never recognize when youre being flirted with or need to take time before flirting back with someone— AND even then. you’d think max would be more wary of overly charming who show an interest in her.

which brings me to Lucas. im guessing if anything happens with him he’s gonna be a red herring. maybe it’s just me, but i wouldn’t be surprised if were supposed to be reminded of jefferson when we see him,, at least he doesnt have any real interest in her though.

pretty sure Amanda and Vinh are the only two love interests? either way i honestly dont think it makes sense for Max to be seeking either of them out romantically. this may be the Aro in me, but chloe was a realistic “love interest” in the OG game because well. they were Max and Chloe. and besides that Max was already with her basically 24/7, and was obsessed with her. they made sense. they werent forced or obviously placed there just to be love interests— it was natural.

honestly Amanda and Vinh just seem like.. love interests for the sake of love interests.

tbh any love interest for Max right now just feels,,,, maybe could’ve been the right person but WAY too wrong of a time. like i dont even see an interesting unhealthy dynamic— and if i wanted that i would just go to current DE!pricefield so.

this brings me to Chloe… im happy she’s haunting the narrative rn,,, could be doing it a little harder imo—but other than that im. trying not to form any huge opinions on the Max and Chloe situation. when we (hopefully istg decknine) get the whole picture ill probably talk about this more. im just pretty conflicted.. and also wishing decknine just CHOSE one of the endings (bay WHO SAID THAT) instead of leaving it open to not piss anyone off.

oh uh then Reggie and Diamond,, i dont have any thoughts about them really except for being mildly intrigued by the amount of attention handed over to Diamond. im guessing she’ll have more plot relevance later,,, but Reggie will prob stay a very side character.

i thinkkk thats everyone? OH. Yasmin. not much about her. can appreciate how much she cares about Safi’s murder. but yeah nobody else comes to mind,,, and if i did miss somebody i guess that just goes to show how little i think of them.

so i guess overall my thoughts about the DE characters are “we’ll have to see what happens.”

[suffarustuffaru]

i need to share my very horrible idea to combine the reinhard/julius/otto/subaru boy drama into one julius-centric fic

ok so a little while ago ive made all kinds of ottojuli and reinjuli posts and while i havent finished all my major julisuba posts Yet i am quite fond of julisuba also and i think itd be incredibly funny if you just dumped all of these ships into one story. just go ALL IN on that boy drama!!!! go big or go home amirite!!!! the worlds WORST love trapezoid youve ever seen!!!!

this post is just me rambling fic ideas bc i sadly dont have time for Every Fic Idea and also i just. i just think itd be funny putting multiple ships with the same person in them into one fic. on a serious level its like mimicking real life relationships where sometimes people come and go and you have different dynamics with each person!! on another level i just think this is also very funny so!! here we go. under the cut:

anyway so my idea for this is that you know, julius of course meets reinhard when hes ten and reinhard is eight and then it alters julius's brain chemistry. at first he's in complete awe of reinhard. and then over time the shame starts setting in. that julius isnt as strong as reinhard. and the jealousy sets in a bit too, so julius's got this chip in his shoulder trying to carry his family's legacy and trying to carry the weight of knighthood to be as perfect as possible. to be as close to reinhard as he can. they meet again in their teens and julius shows reinhard the ropes of like basic knight stuff bc reinhard just joined the knights. and of course reinjuli become friends but julius has spent his whole life quietly watching reinhard from afar and now julius still has that distance with reinhard even as theyre supposedly friends now. reinhard is a God, you know? his powers and his leash from the kingdom and his family keep him distant and the two of them are ignoring that. classic homoerotic "do i want him or want to be him" friendship where both of you are too scared to get any closer for various reasons with a Twist (reinhard's very real monster complex that keeps getting validated bc Everyone Around Him thinks hes a monster).

anyway but then julius remembers that you know, shit between reinhard and him wont work out for many reasons, like reinhards family deciding to torment julius at various points in his life (heinkel, whos julius's boss, and reid, who went from julius's childhood idol to. you know.), and also reinhard needs to have kids because hes the sword saint, and also homophobia exists in rezero. and also even if those werent all obstacles julius still has his Complexes connected to reinhard and they got that distance between them so. no go. (repression gets in the way of relationships :((( )

also quick side note is that ex 4 happens and julius reinhard ferris go to vollachia and julius interrupts a meeting with vincent vollachia himself to go "I UNDERSTOOD THAT LITERARY REFERENCE YOU JUST MADE. THATS A REALLY GOOD REFERENCE I LIKED IT A LOT" bc hes a massive nerd and ig this is slightly-more-of-a-disaster-gay julius au so julius is like ............................. vincent was kinda cool for that.

AND THEN SUBARU CRASHES INTO JULIUS'S LIFE and julius is like seeing this guy who's also got a chip in his shoulder and then he insults the knights and says the knights are all depending on their dads (nepotism) and julius is like .......the chip in my shoulder was bad enough and also youre kinda like me fr. and you are clearly a fucking misguided kid so now i have to save your ass. i cant NOT save your ass. and reinhards like "julius and subaru nooo you dont have to do this :((((" and julius cant admit atm that hes also doing this to save subarus life so julius is just like "he disrespected the knights >:(((("

but yes we all know what happened there. julius saves subarus life. julius has to slice subarus throat in that one failed loop. they become friends across several timelines. they also homoerotically share souls, you know, typical bromance things, rivals to lovers except subarus the one going YOURE MY RIVAL and julius is like he is SUCH an upstart. hes really grown on me like a fungus but thats the appeal. and julius i think sees subaru as like a kindred spirit (or at least thats how i interpret julisuba) except subaru is like way more freer than julius is. same desire to prove yourself but subarus not restraining himself constantly like julius. its sometimes to the point of recklessness and general stupidity and what have you, but his boldness and bravery and determination and heart really is admirable.........................

yeah so anyway julius falls for ANOTHER guy again, you know how it is sometimes. the heart wants what it wants and julius is cursed to always have the worst meetings with his closest friends. and of course julius gets heartbroken bc wtf i have to kill my new friend :((( noo!!!! but in the finished loop its like. oh subaru...... hes really improved himself. hes grown so much already. hes kind of. inspirational really. idk how he does it. except subarus you know got that Mystery to him the same way reinhard does (theyre traumatized and Cant Take About It Normally so they just randomly lore drop what they can) and also subarus SUPER into emilia. and julius is like .................... well. subarus taken. haha. and reinhards. taken. fuck me. fuck. and like somethings going on with subaru and rem and emilia right. fuck. and subarus got his whole toxic masculinity / gender crisis..... and he doesnt know hes Bisexual yet...... man. what a loss for julius amirite haha.

and also subarus busy after arc 3........... and julius has no idea whats happening there but that seems Real serious :(( and julius's got other things to attend to so he hopes subaru reaches out to him eventually..... or that they cross paths again since subarus in the emilia camp and julius is in ana camp (and of course reinhard is in felt camp and like that was a whole debacle bc wtf. reinhard, u do know thatd be a big deal to our mutual friend felix?). so. julius pines from afar ONCE AGAIN HAHA.

(also of course subarus still attracted to reinhard here. its um. well julisuba can bond now over pining over reinhard but thats for later also!!)

anyway of course during arc 3 julius briefly runs into some gray haired merchant twink thats being dragged around by subaru bc ana camp rescued this guy from a cave somewhere??? and this new guy and subaru made a deal or whatever so he was just helping out in the background of the fight against sloth??

and whaddya know................ julius goes to drink at a bar bc you know he probably tastes wine for fun in his free time (hes definitely Fond of wine anyway iirc) and now hes Sad over the Ones That Got Away so. bar it is. and gray haired merchant twink is there!! no way. they start talking a bit casually while drinking you know and julius's taste is Unfortunately either the graceful ones (anastasia, because julius has great taste in women) or the cringe fail ones (all the twinks - except for felix - that julius keeps having the wildest first meetings with, because julius has slightly shit taste in men) so julius is like huh this otto guys kinda funny lol. endearing in a weird way!! and -

oops they both end up being a little. they make a little bit of a move on each other. bc they were drinking and got a Bit tipsy. ottos Also not over the one that got away (subaru) (again) and hey. the finest knight truly is. Fine. objectively fine. totally. so you know. things get a little out of hand, maybe they do a bit of cringe fail flirting hidden underneath five million layers of repression and the Horrors of Being Known but ultimately they both embarrass themselves somehow (read: how far they went with each other while under the influence is up to you) and agree to Never Speak of This Again bc oopsies they were both technically each other's first time being Straightforwardly Not Straight with another man. oops. anyway julius has to go back to his camp and otto fucking bolts but he bolts right into subaru and gets his ass dragged into sanctuary drama.

julius is totally not a little bit envious about that.................... about otto getting to accompany subaru to sanctuary... but dont worry julius!! youll get to make up for it later!! bc eventually arc 5 stuff happens. and julius is Glad to see reinhard and subaru again. even with all the Baggage. and subaru is of course Weird about julius but eventually subaru reassures julius after they both confide in each other about the astrea drama (theyre honorary astreas via being dragged into the astrea family mess). and subarus reassuring to julius in a whole new way okay. subaru, whos unrestrained and incapable of being on the down low about anything, and julius, whos always holding himself back with a gazillion layers of repression, starts learning to let go a bit...

but also juliotto meet again. its terribly awkward and they both agreed to never speak of their awkward encounters again. subaru is going ??? and reinhard is clueless. otto then also goes to save reinhard and felt from heinkel trying to take felt hostage, which was also terribly awkward but reinhard and felt are grateful about it (but lbr if reinhard and otto knew each other deeper reinhard would maybe be a little. Apprehensive. around otto while otto would be sympathetic with reinhard bc hes like male emilia). but then while otto manages not to get erased by gluttony....... julius gets erased. of course. which you know results in being forgotten by reinhard in julius's THIRD first meeting ever with reinhard. and subarus the only one who remembers him of course.

then arc 6 happens :,))))) and julius of course has to confront his ideas of knighthood, his identity, his self esteem, and who he is outside of His Name. and also julius gets his ass beat by reid. his childhood idol. who reinhard KNEW was a shitty person but never ever told julius (whether this is because reinhard wanted to spare julius's hero worship or because reinhard never got the chance to tell julius is hard to say lajdsf). but julius does get to triumphantly win in the end!! grow as a person!!! learn to undo a bit of that repression and not hold himself to impossible standards all the time!! hes growing still!!! hes finally solidified his friendships with people like subaru and emilia!! hes remaking his relationship with anastasia!! hes asserted himself, hes planning on going to meet reinhard again one day and duel him!! things are looking up even if its still bittersweet that he doesnt have his name back yet!! does this mean?? perhaps?? a HAPPY ENDING?? julius can have the two men (reinhard and subaru) he admires the most in his life?????? as friends???? or as boyfriends?????? slowburn mutual pining????????????????????????????????????????

and then comes. arc 8 otto. that piece of shit.

julius is very much someone who has to grapple with the weight of the expectations that people throw at him. and also reinhard is someone who May envy julius a bit, but there's also you know, joshua and subaru with the Explicit Envy and (past) resentment because theyre placing heavy expectations on julius!! theyre pointing blame at julius!! julius is trying to find himself outside of stuff like that, especially after arc 6, but he's still got stuff to work on you know? he still has duties to fulfill!! loyalty that he has to act on bc hes gotta help subaru and co in arc 8!! and then in comes otto.

otto is also someone with expectation placed on him, but its Different. ottos mostly a nobody and when hes Not a nobody, his reputation tends to be Derogatory. hes a menace. hes a bad luck charm. hes grappling with the fact that he has to keep being left behind - post-arc 5 bc he was injured, but also repeatedly during arcs 7 and 8 because hes too physically weak to be on the same playing field as emilia or garfiel or subaru on the battlefield. he feels Useless after placing his identity on the expectation that hes Dependable and Useful.

julius is a bit more on even ground with otto now that julius is. also mostly a nobody bc his name is still gone. and also julius had to deal with having that part of his identity crushed. julius tried to be useful over and over in arc 6 only to get his ass repeatedly curb stomped by reid in the beginning. he was a nobody. he wasnt dependable anymore. and also otto is that one guy he had a Passing Fling with over having The Ones Who Got Away and julius was still vaguely hopeful about maybe being pals at least but ottos brushed him off a bit since arc 5. theyre like each others secrets you know? and now otto doesnt know that shit - julius is the only one who Knows - and otto also hates julius's fucking guts now. over SUBARU. and julius has been through this whole rodeo clown circus with arc 3 subaru so this is an absolutely terrible ride through memory lane.

and this is julius's THIRD twink that hates him for terribly unfair reasons. julius is very tired and a bit heartbroken in this au trying to pretend it doesnt bother him. on one level it doesnt. bc ottos pathetic and clearly Overcompensating for Something. on another level it kinda does bc julius had a Thing going with otto. and otto is the complete opposite of julius. like hes different from the other guys julius has liked.

julisuba is about complimentary opposites - they appear Extremely Different at first glance but theyre very similar. theyre people who try to look and act bigger than they are, people who keep reaching to be The Best, to be Perfect, because theyre overcompensating. theyre worried their entire identity is only built off of trying to be bigger than the shadow that other people in their lives (like their families) cast. but they cant reach perfection. and julius is like subaru but if subaru tried to really make himself "refined" - if he tried to stop putting his heart on his sleeve all the time. reinsuba are very similar too. theyre very refined knights who try to keep themselves in check at all times while the weight of the world is on their shoulders. they cant have a hair out of place. except julius is like the "smaller" version of reinhard. julius is less powerful. its like comparing a human and a "god" - reinhard, whos untouchable. but its a double edged sword, because julius gets to be a normal person, because half the expectation placed on him is also purely from himself, while reinhard isnt. reinhard isnt Free. hes on a leash by the kingdom and his family. julius even gets his kind of "celebrity" status stolen from him via the loss of his name. hes truly kind of Normal now - julius is like if reinhard didnt have his crazy abilities and had a little more of a chance to be free.

otto? yeah otto is. very very far from all of that. hes so obviously imperfect that most of his reputation, when its brought up, is just him being known as a mess who's caused various forms of chaos everywhere he goes. either that or hes just. There. Invisible. very very average. and otto is someone who wants a nice comfortable life, someone who wants to fit in - julius and subaru arent Exactly like that, and while reinhard also wants to be normal, ottos the one who has more of an opportunity. but he doesnt. because otto Dooms Himself by being recklessly cutthroat. otto is like if subaru was just. More of an asshole, so ottojuli would just be a rather Extreme Challenge for julius to have to deal with HAH. and normally otto is someone who repays how people treat him - a very "you treat me like this, i'll treat you the same way in turn" kind of deal, except ottos developed a vendetta against julius and its basically like if subaru never let go of his arc 3 julius vendetta.

yes so anyway. etc etc stuff probably happens but i ran out of ideas lajdlfjasdf i just think combining ALL the boy drama and recontextualizing + adding to canon would be. batshit crazy. and terribly entertaining. im so sorry julius but i want to see you crack a bit under the pressure. reinjuli as a ship is like tragic gay yearning that never goes anywhere past being friends with quiet homoerotic tension, then julisuba is. you know. extreme rivals to lovers, starts out Rough but then ends up being super super sweet and theyre Trying their best underneath the self esteem issues. and then ottojuli is. toxic yaoi at its finest (pun intended). you get Every flavor of mlm possible!!

ok so you may be asking "ok what would you even name this fic then" and to that i say that this would be called To All the Boys I've Loved Before.

anyway i really wanna write this idea someday ill inform you guys (if youre reading this and are Interested) if it ever happens :< so. in conclusion this is just julius the entire time throughout all of these events:

[syndrossi]

yes hi im asking more questions (maybe i shouldnt and should just leave you to writing…)

so i was wondering how it came to be that the twins would be Jon and Rhaegar. was that always the plan? i know someone already asked what would have happened had it been twin girls or a boy-girl pairing and you answered for each. now i’m just wondering out of curiosity did you ever consider it being Jon and Dany? (i dont like Jon betraying her so in my mind that scene is scrapped and in this version both have yet to meet each other, maybe they’re 16 or something in their respective bodies or Dany’s younger, etc.)

i just think it’d be interesting since Dany always craved more information about her past and more Targaryens that she’d be open to the family dynamic quicker, but also considering she grew up on the run from assassins she also knows a thing or two about protecting herself, but also being jumpy, flinching when being touched, protective of her family, i don’t know how her dynamic with Daemon would be though

I decided on Rhaegar pretty early on, in part because Resonant is meant to examine the parallels of three sets of brothers (Aemon+Baelon, Viserys+Daemon, and Jon+Twin), aka "as a Targaryen, you marry your sister but who is your brother to you?" Answer: it's messy and complicated (Viserys+Daemon) and can be just as deep a connection in some ways (Aemon+Baelon).

It mostly came down to which Targaryen brother I'd give him, since them both being TPTWP candidates was crucial to the main story plot aka why they were Summerhalled, and the interesting dynamic of having it be Rhaegar-but-in-little-brother-format was very compelling. The other two main options that Jon had ties to would have been his uncle Viserys or his half-brother Aegon who survived in another universe.

Any of those three could have worked, but Viserys at fourteen was already pretty unstable, and Aegon would have been essentially an OC. Younger Rhaegar meanwhile plays into Jon's fear of loss, while holding a deep, unrealized connection. I also quite liked the unwitting parallels between Daemon and Aerys, where Daemon's fiery nature works so well for Jon while Rhaegar's first instinct is wariness.

Aside from wanting the brothers parallels, I wanted to avoid the romance dynamic that crops up when you have different-gendered Targaryen siblings. Dany is a valid candidate for Jon's new sibling, since she's heavily hinted at being the actual canon PTWP, but having Jon+Dany as the twins inevitably would lead to an expectation of romance or having everything viewed through a lens of romantic love even while they're children. Although that can be interesting too, romance is well-trodden ground, especially Jon/Dany.

Which isn't to say that it couldn't have been a non-romantic sibling relationship. But while no one is clamoring in the comments for a Jon/Rhaegar pairing (for many reasons), I doubt I would have gotten a moment's peace about Jon/Dany.

Finally, I guess it also came down to the fact that I feel like there are already quite a few reincarnation stories featuring Dany and Jon, and it's something people are more likely to write. Who the heck in their right mind would ever throw Rhaegar into the mix instead? I honestly thought this would be such a niche story lol.

But if we want to play out the scenario where it was Dany instead:

In the case of a Jon+Dany story, Dany fills the "little sister" hole in Jon's heart, rather than mix of Robb+Arya that Rhaegar does. Because of who they are (part-Targaryen), Allard doesn't have them share a chamber, even this young, as a precaution. All the things I said in the previous ask the M+F combination probably applies as far as Daemon's reaction.

For Dany, I have to imagine this would all feel like the best of dreams, especially if it's a Dany transported prior to her marriage. She has a brother who doesn't turn abusive at times and who loves her without reserve, and she would probably even love it at the Gates of the Moon, which would be more of a home than she'd known growing up. Lady Lynda would have been delighted by a girl, and their relationship would have been very sweet. And then after the rescue, the wonder of coming home to the Red Keep that she had only ever heard about, with a protective/loving father and more family than she could have ever hoped for.

(Dany's background is probably closest to what Daemon envisioned Jon and Rhaegar's childhood had been like: unloved, unwanted, longing for a home and parents.)

If instead it had been the Dany from Jon's universe, it would have been a very different dynamic. That Dany is much more jaded and hardened by life. She has shouldered heavy responsibilities, seen war, commanded armies, and had to scrounge for power all her "adult" (teen) life. It would have been harder for her and Jon to fall into a twin sibling dynamic, and much harder for her to accept the very different expectations for her based on her gender, after all the agency she'd built up before. This Dany would have been a much better ally of Rhaenyra's, ultimately.

[songbirdseung]

younger / choi beomgyu

song recommendation: younger by ruel

non-idol!beomgyu ~ childhood friends to lovers? ~ angst / wc: 4k

(dont be a silent reader, comment and let me know what you think about the story~~)

You and Beomgyu would roam the nighttime streets together, hidden from the watchful eyes of unaware parents. The glow of the television, coupled with the stubborn persistence of bedroom lights, painted a canvas of secrets. Yet, it's been ages since you last crossed paths, the innocence that once bound you together seemingly lost in the labyrinth of time. Beomgyu's absence left you in a void, the shadows deepening as he disappeared into the darkness of a park, a departure marking the irreversible shift in the dynamics of your relationship. The echoes of those nights linger, but the connection you once shared now stands as a mere silhouette of what it used to be—forever altered, and, regrettably, never to be the same again.

At the tender age of eleven, he departed without a trace, leaving you without farewells or explanations. In the quiet of the night, both sets of parents chose not to awaken you, and when dawn broke, your innocent request for a playdate with Beomgyu was met with the somber gazes of your own parents. They delivered the heart-wrenching news that he had relocated to another city, and in that moment, at the age of eleven, you found yourself mourning the abrupt loss of a best friend of nine years.

In the soft morning light that filtered through your bedroom curtains, you excitedly approached your parents with the anticipation of a playdate with Beomgyu. The sparkle in your eyes dimmed, however, as you were met with the unusual solemnity that hung heavy in the air.

"Mom, Dad, can Beomgyu come over today? We were going to play our favorite game," you asked, innocence radiating from your hopeful gaze.

Your parents exchanged a glance, their expressions reflecting a shared sorrow. Taking a deep breath, your mother knelt down to your eye level, her eyes carrying a weight that spoke of difficult news.

"Sweetheart," she began, her voice gentle yet laced with sadness, "Beomgyu has moved away to another city."

Your eyes widened, confusion clouding your face. "Moved away? But… why? He didn't even say goodbye."

Your father joined the conversation, crouching down beside you. "It happened late last night, and we didn't want to wake you. Your friend had to leave without saying goodbye, and we're so sorry, sweetheart."

A mixture of disbelief and aching sorrow settled over you. "But he's my best friend. Why didn't he tell me? Will he come back?"

Your mother wrapped you in a comforting embrace, her words soft as she explained, "Sometimes, people have to move for different reasons, and it's not always easy for them to say goodbye. We know how much Beomgyu means to you, and we're here for you, okay?"

You nodded, tears welling up in your eyes. The room that once echoed with laughter from shared adventures now felt empty, the absence of your dearest friend creating a void that seemed impossible to fill. As your parents held you close, the pain of losing Beomgyu settled into your young heart, and the innocence of childhood faced its first encounter with the bittersweet sting of change.

-- beomgyu's pov --

Beomgyu stirred from a restless sleep, the hum of the car engine and the rhythmic pattern of streetlights flickering through the window casting an eerie glow. Disoriented and sleepy-eyed, he sat up, rubbing his eyes as he glanced around the dim interior of the car.

"Where are we going?" he asked innocently, the excitement of a family trip bubbling in his voice.

His parents exchanged a glance, and his mother turned to him with a warm smile that held a hint of sadness. "Oh, it's just a small trip, sweetheart. A surprise for you and the family."

Beomgyu's eyes lit up, and a grin spread across his face. "Really? That's awesome! Can't wait to see where we're going. Is Y/N coming too? I want to show them all the cool places!"

His parents shared a glance laden with a poignant understanding, their smiles masking a deeper sadness. "Ah, Y/N couldn't make it this time, but we'll take lots of pictures to share with them when we get back."

Undeterred, Beomgyu leaned back in the seat, his mind already racing with plans for the adventure ahead. "Sure, sure! I'll tell Y/N all about it when we're back. They'll be so jealous they missed out!"

His parents exchanged another look, a silent acknowledgment of the weight behind the words. As the car continued its journey through the night, Beomgyu's innocent excitement filled the space, unaware that the small trip he anticipated was a journey that would reshape the landscape of his life, leaving Y/N and the familiar streets behind in a bittersweet memory.

-- later, beomgyu's pov --

The car's engine sputtered to a stop as the first rays of dawn painted the sky. Beomgyu squinted at the unfamiliar surroundings, confusion etching his features as he realized they hadn't arrived at a hotel as expected, but at a house. His parents exchanged glances, an unspoken acknowledgment of the truth that had yet to be revealed.

As the car doors opened, Beomgyu caught sight of the numerous suitcases and boxes piled in the trunk — more luggage than any ordinary trip would require. A knot of realization tightened in his stomach, the pieces clicking into place like a puzzle he hadn't been prepared to solve.

"Mom, Dad, why did you lie to me?" Beomgyu's voice trembled as he confronted the truth, tears welling in his eyes.

His parents exchanged somber looks, the weight of their decision evident in their expressions. His mother crouched down to his eye level, her voice gentle but tinged with sorrow.

"Sweetheart, we didn't want to upset you. It's just that… we're not going back home this time. This is our new house," she explained, her words hanging heavy in the air.

Beomgyu's eyes widened, the weight of the revelation sinking in. "What do you mean, not going back home? What about my friends? What about Y/N?" His voice quivered, the fear of losing the world he knew becoming too real.

His father placed a hand on his shoulder, attempting to comfort him. "We know it's a lot to take in, Beomgyu. This is a new beginning for us. You'll make new friends, and Y/N will always be a part of your life, even if you're far away."

But the reassurances fell on ears deafened by the ache of change. Beomgyu felt the tears spill over, his heart heavy with the weight of leaving behind the familiar, the friends, and the home he loved. As the reality of the situation settled in, his small shoulders shook with the grief of a chapter ending, and the uncertainty of a new one beginning.

-- months later --

Months passed in the new city, and Beomgyu found himself navigating a different life. The bustling streets, unfamiliar faces, and new routines became the backdrop to his days. His heart yearned for the familiar comfort of the old neighborhood, especially the laughter and shared adventures with you.

Late at night, under the soft glow of a borrowed phone, he'd send short messages, tapping out words of longing. "Miss you. Wish you were here," he'd type, his heart pouring into each letter. The response, when it came, was a fleeting connection to the world he left behind. The distance stretched in both miles and melancholy, and he'd find himself staring at the moon, wondering if you were doing the same.

In the town left behind, you adjusted to a life that seemed to echo with the absence of Beomgyu. The familiar haunts became bittersweet reminders, each corner holding memories of laughter and shared secrets. The longing for your friend filled your days, coloring the mundane with a tinge of melancholy.

The borrowed phone became a lifeline, a precious connection to the friend who now felt galaxies away. "Hey, how's it going there?" you'd text, fingers tapping out words that carried the weight of missing someone. The brief exchanges were a lifeline, moments of solace in the midst of change.

The conversations were small, sporadic, and filled with the silent understanding that this was the best they could manage. "Remember the treehouse? I found a cool park here too," Beomgyu typed, trying to bridge the gap.

"I went to the movies last week. Missed having you there," you replied, the longing evident in the simple words.

Through these fragments of connection, a shared sentiment emerged — the ache of separation and the hope that someday, the miles that kept them apart would lessen, and they'd find themselves under the same moon again. The small texts became the threads that kept their friendship stitched together across the expanse that now lay between them.

--

The soft glow of the moon seeped through Beomgyu's bedroom window, casting a melancholy ambiance on the walls. Sulking in the quiet confines of his room, he couldn't shake the weight of homesickness that clung to him like a shadow. The dinner table downstairs, once a place of familial warmth, seemed like a world away.

His mother, attuned to the echoes of her son's melancholy, gently tapped on the door. "Beomgyu, sweetheart, dinner's ready. Won't you come down and join us?"

A muffled response, barely audible through the closed door, betrayed his disheartened state.

His mother sighed softly before stepping into the room. The soft glow of the bedside lamp revealed Beomgyu, curled up on the bed, a world of longing etched into his eyes.

She sat beside him, offering a tender smile. "What's on your mind, my love?"

His gaze remained fixed on the distant horizon outside the window as he whispered, "I miss home, Mom. I miss Y/N, and I miss everything."

Her heart ached for him. Placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, she said, "Change is hard, Beomgyu. I know it feels like everything's different now, but you're strong, and we'll get through this together. Dinner is waiting, but if you need some time, I understand."

His mother's understanding touch was a balm to his soul. Beomgyu turned to her, the vulnerability in his eyes reflecting the depth of his homesickness. "I just wish things could go back to how they were."

She pulled him into a warm embrace, whispering words of comfort. "I know, sweetheart. I know. Let's take it one day at a time, and who knows, maybe one day it will feel like home here too."

With a gentle squeeze, she left the room, allowing Beomgyu a moment to collect himself. The dinner table downstairs awaited, but in that fleeting moment, the warmth of his mother's embrace offered a comforting reassurance in the face of the unfamiliar world that now surrounded him.

-- years later, y/n's pov --

The years rolled by, carrying Beomgyu and Y/N into the realm of adolescence. In the beginning, the smartphones they now possessed became the conduits of their connection, trading messages filled with nostalgia, sharing snippets of their evolving lives. The threads of shared memories were woven into the digital conversations, creating a semblance of the camaraderie they once knew.

However, the inevitable currents of change started to pull them in different directions. New friendships blossomed, and the demands of their individual lives grew, leaving less room for the virtual bridge that once connected them. The exchanges became sporadic, a casual update here and there, their lives gradually filling with new faces and experiences.

Busy schedules and the excitement of forging fresh connections took precedence, and the once vibrant bond between Beomgyu and Y/N began to fray. The messages, once filled with the intimacy of shared memories, became sporadic echoes in a digital landscape that stretched between them.

As the years unfurled, the digital bridge that once connected them morphed into a mere echo of the past. The cadence of their lives, now pulsating with the rhythms of adulthood, left less space for the nostalgic conversations that once fueled their friendship. The bond, though not forgotten, transformed into a distant echo, fading in the background of the bustling lives they now led.

Y/N found herself standing on the precipice of an emotional crossroads. The once inseparable bond she shared with Beomgyu had become a delicate thread, and she desperately tried to hold on to the fragments of what they used to be. The shared laughter, the whispered secrets, and the warmth of their friendship seemed like distant echoes, slipping through her fingers like grains of sand.

"You and me were so, so close," she whispered to the quiet confines of her room, the weight of the words echoing in the silence. The ache of the growing distance between them pierced through her heart, a poignant reminder of what once was.

She had tried, oh, how she had tried. Late-night texts and calls filled with the essence of nostalgia were her attempts to salvage the connection that meant so much. But the responses were intermittent, the vibrancy of their conversations replaced by the echoes of unspoken distance.

And maybe that's what hurt the most—the realization that despite her efforts, the bond was slipping away. The fear she had harbored for years was materializing, and the once vivid landscape of their friendship was now a fading canvas.

"It's out of my hands," she admitted with a heavy sigh, as if confessing the truth to herself. The currents of life had taken them in different directions, and there was only so much she could do to alter the course.

"I've done what I can," she whispered, the weight of acceptance settling on her shoulders. The battle against the growing distance felt like an uphill struggle, leaving her with a sense of helplessness.

"So I just save my breath," she concluded, the resolve to hold on giving way to a bittersweet acknowledgment. The breaths she once saved for laughter, secrets, and shared dreams were now exhaled into the void of the changing winds. Yet, amidst the melancholy, a glimmer of gratitude remained—a gratitude for the moments they once shared and the indelible mark Beomgyu had left on her heart.

-- beomgyu's pov --

Beomgyu's phone buzzed once again, signaling another message from Y/N. He retrieved it from his pocket, eyes briefly flickering over the notification. The number of unread messages had reached a daunting 20, each one representing a fragment of a connection he once cherished.

Sighing, he pocketed the phone, the weight of the unread messages settling into the fabric of his jeans. The conversations with his new friends resumed, laughter and banter flowing effortlessly. Soobin, Yeonjun, Huening Kai, and Taehyun became the focal points of his attention, their camaraderie echoing the dynamics he had found within this new circle.

Yet, beneath the surface, there lingered a subtle pang of guilt. He couldn't shake the awareness that Y/N's messages remained unanswered, a stark testament to the growing gap between them. The bond that once defined his world had become a distant memory, replaced by the vibrant energy of his current friendships.

As Beomgyu laughed and shared stories with his newfound companions, the buzzing phone in his pocket seemed to carry the echoes of a connection slipping away. The unread messages represented unspoken sentiments, a conversation that had faded into the background of the bustling life he now led. And with each passing moment, the distance grew, leaving Y/N's messages unanswered in the wake of the evolving chapters of Beomgyu's life.

The laughter of Beomgyu and his friends echoed through the room as they gathered for a casual hangout. Soobin, Yeonjun, Huening Kai, and Taehyun were all there, their camaraderie filling the space with warmth. However, beneath the surface of the banter, Beomgyu carried the weight of unspoken concerns that had been haunting him.

"So, guys," Beomgyu began hesitantly, a hint of vulnerability in his tone. "There's been something on my mind lately."

The room fell into a comfortable silence as his friends turned their attention to him, their expressions shifting from playful to attentive.

"What's up, Beomgyu?" Soobin asked, concern evident in his eyes.

Beomgyu took a moment before continuing, "It's just… I've been feeling kind of guilty about not keeping in touch with someone important to me. We used to be really close, but life happened, and now it's like we're drifting apart."

Yeonjun chimed in, "Is it someone from back home? Your childhood friend?"

Beomgyu nodded, grateful for the understanding in his friends' eyes. "Yeah, Y/N. We were inseparable, but now it feels like we're worlds apart. I've been avoiding their messages, and it's been bothering me."

Huening Kai leaned forward, offering a comforting smile. "It happens, Beomgyu. People change, and life takes us in different directions. It's natural to feel conflicted about it."

Taehyun added, "Maybe you should talk to them about it. It might help clear the air, and who knows, you might find a way to reconnect."

Soobin nodded in agreement. "Communication is key. If they mean a lot to you, they'll understand. And if not, at least you'll have closure."

Beomgyu sighed, a mix of gratitude and apprehension in his expression. "You guys are right. I've just been struggling with how to approach it. I don't want to hurt them or make things awkward."

Yeonjun placed a reassuring hand on Beomgyu's shoulder. "Take your time, but don't let it eat at you. True friends understand, and if they're meant to be in your life, they'll find their way back."

The room fell into a thoughtful silence as Beomgyu absorbed the advice of his friends. The weight on his shoulders felt a bit lighter, knowing he had a support system to lean on. As they continued their hangout, the unspoken understanding between the friends became a source of comfort in navigating the complexities of evolving relationships.

In the quiet hours of the night, Beomgyu found himself alone with his thoughts. The conversation with his friends lingered in his mind, urging him to confront the unease that had been haunting him. With a mix of determination and trepidation, he decided to reach out to Y/N.

He pulled out his phone, fingers hovering over the touchscreen. After a moment's hesitation, he dialed Y/N's number, memories of their countless conversations flooding back. As the dial tone resonated, his heart raced with anticipation.

However, instead of the familiar voice he hoped to hear, an automated system responded. "The number you have dialed is no longer in service."

A wave of disappointment and realization washed over Beomgyu. The connection, once a lifeline between them, had dissolved into the void of disconnected lines. The reality of the situation hit him harder than he expected, and he felt a lump forming in his throat.

He stared at the screen, grappling with the finality of the automated message. The untold words he had been holding back seemed to echo in the silence of the room. Beomgyu was left with the weight of unspoken conversations and the stark reality that the bridge connecting them had crumbled.

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes, the phone still in his hand. The ache of missed opportunities and lingering questions lingered in the air. In that solitary moment, Beomgyu found himself grappling with the bittersweet truth — that some connections, no matter how meaningful, were destined to fade into the echoes of what once was.

-- y/n's pov --

Deep in my heart, I felt the subtle ache of something irretrievable. The bond that once defined Beomgyu and me seemed to have reached its twilight, leaving behind an unspoken void. His number, once etched into the fabric of my contacts, now felt like a distant memory, and with a heavy heart, I decided to let go.

I knew that it's over, the unspoken chapters of our friendship sealed within the folds of time. The laughter, the shared secrets, and the camaraderie we once held dear now echoed in the corridors of nostalgia.

Deleted your number – a choice made with the reluctant acceptance that some connections were destined to dissolve. The mere absence of those digits felt like erasing a chapter of my history, a chapter that held the echoes of a friendship now lost in the folds of growing up.

So I can't call you, I thought, acknowledging the deliberate choice to distance myself. The yearning for the conversations that once filled the nights lingered, but the awareness that those calls had become echoes of a bygone era weighed heavily on my heart.

As the chapters turned, I couldn't help but wonder how we arrived at this point. The unspoken words hung in the air, carrying the weight of a friendship that had silently evolved into something unrecognizable. And as I navigated the complexities of growing up, the bittersweet realization settled in – some connections, no matter how cherished, were destined to evolve into wistful memories.

-- years later --

At the age of 22, Beomgyu and Y/N found themselves engulfed in the currents of life, their paths diverging with each passing day. The once inseparable bond that defined their younger years had become a distant memory, fading into the background of their individual journeys.

Life's demands, new friendships, and evolving priorities led them in directions that seemed worlds apart. The sporadic messages that once bridged the growing distance had become echoes in the expanse that now lay between them. The phone numbers, once etched into each other's contacts with familiarity, were now just digits in a sea of connections.

Beomgyu navigated the bustling waves of adulthood, his focus on the present and future. The laughter and camaraderie of his new friends became the soundtrack of his days, the memories of childhood adventures and shared secrets relegated to the recesses of nostalgia.

Y/N, too, carved their own path, facing the challenges and triumphs that adulthood presented. The places, faces, and experiences that defined their current lives seemed far removed from the shared landscapes of their past.

--

Y/N found themselves wandering through familiar streets, the city lights casting a glow on the pavement. The purpose of their visit was business, but amidst the meetings and obligations, a sudden wave of nostalgia led them to stroll through the old neighborhood where Beomgyu and they once shared countless memories.

On one of those down-time nights after work, Y/N decided to explore a local spot known for its charm. As they entered the venue, the familiar ambiance felt like a subtle echo from the past. And then, amidst the crowd, Y/N's eyes caught a glimpse of a figure that seemed vaguely familiar.

Squinting through the dim lights, trying to place the face. The realization struck, and a subtle gasp escaped their lips. There, in the midst of the crowd, was Beomgyu – someone they once knew so intimately but now felt like a stranger.

"I didn't even recognize you," Y/N admitted quietly, the passage of time etched on Beomgyu's features. The realization brought a strange mix of emotions – surprise, nostalgia, and an unspoken acknowledgment of the changes life had wrought upon them.

The atmosphere felt charged with the weight of unexpected encounters. Y/N couldn't help but find it kind of strange – the twist of fate that brought them to the same place at the same time, after years of drifting apart.

"Guess that people change," Y/N murmured, watching Beomgyu from a distance. The recognition was met with a pang of melancholy, a subtle mourning for the innocence of the past.

"But I didn't expect you to," they concluded, a quiet lament for the evolution of a connection that once felt unbreakable. In that moment, amidst the city lights and the gentle hum of the crowd, Y/N grappled with the unspoken complexity of seeing someone from their past in a new light.

Peeling her eyes away from Beomgyu, Y/N decided to immerse herself in the present moment, determined to enjoy her time in the city. As she glanced around, she noticed a friendly face beside her, and without hesitation, struck up a conversation with the person seated next to her – Taehyun.

Unbeknownst to both Y/N and Taehyun, the threads of their conversation began to weave together seamlessly. They laughed, shared stories, and delved into topics that transcended the boundaries of the past. It was a delightful encounter, the kind that happens serendipitously in the dance of city life.

Meanwhile, Beomgyu, scanning the room in search of Taehyun, couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation. When his eyes finally landed on them, shock flickered across his face. He saw Y/N engaged in a lively conversation with Taehyun, a person he least expected her to be with.

For a moment, Beomgyu stood frozen, the realization sinking in. The person Y/N was conversing with wasn't just a stranger in this city; it was Taehyun, his friend. The friend who, unbeknownst to both of them, had become a part of this unexpected reunion.

The air crackled with unspoken emotions as Beomgyu navigated the currents of surprise and curiosity. His mind raced, contemplating whether he should approach and reveal the unspoken connections that lingered in the shadows of their past.

-- the next day --

The following day brought another unexpected encounter as Y/N found themselves in the same professional sphere as Beomgyu. Their respective companies were connecting, intertwining their professional worlds in a way that seemed almost fated. As the meetings progressed, the air buzzed with a tension that transcended the confines of business discussions.

Amidst the corporate chatter, Y/N and Beomgyu found themselves in the same room once again. The air was thick with unspoken history, the echoes of their past converging with the realities of the present. As the formalities of business unfolded, they eventually found a moment to step aside and talk, the weight of unspoken conversations hanging in the air.

"Tryna get in touch with you," Y/N began, their tone carrying a mix of frustration and longing. "I don't know where you've been."

Beomgyu met their gaze, a flicker of recognition in his eyes, as if acknowledging the echoes of missed connections.

"Have a conversation, but you'll never let me in," Y/N continued, a raw honesty punctuating their words. The years of distance and unspoken sentiments were etched into the lines of their expression.

"I've tried with you a thousand times," Y/N confessed, the weight of the past hanging between them like a heavy curtain. The frustration of unanswered messages and unspoken sentiments colored their words.

"Maybe I don't have to play the bad guy in the end," Y/N reflected, a plea for understanding. "Because I've been trying hard enough to be a better friend."

The room fell into a heavy silence, the unspoken tension hanging between them like a fragile thread. Y/N's words lingered, a poignant acknowledgment of the attempts to bridge the gap that had grown over the years. The business connections may have brought them together, but the weight of unresolved emotions hovered in the air, leaving them standing at the crossroads of what once was and what could never be again.

Beomgyu listened to Y/N's words, a knot forming in his stomach as the weight of their shared history became palpable. When Y/N finally paused, he took a moment before responding, his voice carrying a mix of regret and sincerity.

"I know," Beomgyu admitted, the weight of unspoken apologies echoing in his words. "I've been avoiding things, and I'm sorry for that. Life got complicated, and I let it push us apart."

Y/N met his gaze, a flicker of understanding mingling with the frustration. "I've tried reaching out, but it felt like you'd built walls. I didn't know where to find you anymore."

Beomgyu sighed, a heavy exhale of acknowledgment. "I messed up, and I should've been more open. It's just… things changed, and I didn't handle it well."

The air between them held a tense quiet, the unspoken words lingering in the space. Beomgyu gathered the courage to speak again. "Maybe we can't undo the past, but I want to try to make things right now. I want to be a better friend, Y/N."

As the weight of their shared history hung in the air, the conversation unfolded, carrying with it the potential for understanding, forgiveness, and the possibility of rebuilding a connection that had once been an integral part of their lives.

Beomgyu, sensing Y/N's reluctance, took a breath before speaking, determined to convey the sincerity behind his words.

"You don't know me like you used to," he acknowledged, recognizing the layers of time that had altered the familiarity they once shared. "You can leave, but I refuse to."

He saw the skepticism in Y/N's eyes, a lingering doubt that hung between them. Beomgyu continued, his voice steady, "You can tell me that I'm crazy, but I won't stop."

He could sense the hesitancy, the wariness in Y/N's posture. "And this won't make me," he added, the unspoken commitment to rekindle the connection they once had. "I know things have changed, and I can't erase the past, but I'm willing to try. We can navigate this together, Y/N, and maybe find a way back to what we once had."

The sincerity in Beomgyu's words hung in the air, a plea for a second chance, a chance to rebuild and redefine the connection that had slipped away over the years. The ball was in Y/N's court, and Beomgyu awaited their response with a mix of hope and determination.

[moonfungers]

this is sort of random as hell but i can't help but think of like. a funger termina isekai fic. 💀 no but like. FEAR AND HUNGER IS THE WORST universe to be inside, really. it's all misery!!! pain!! suffering!! and i'm just picturing this like, regular person gets transported into the universe and just absolutely loses her shit bc she KNOWS, she KNOWS DAMN WELL exactly how she's screwed, far better than anyone else!! she's played the games dozens and dozens of times, died so many times, and now she's IN that setting, she's in that world, and death is now PERMANENT with REAL stakes. she knows the entire game like the back of her hand, but what does it matter, bc it's fear and hunger. there's only so much knowledge that can help you . .

in my head, in a lot of isekai fic and stuff, ocs tend to like, hide the fact that they know things? but i feel like a modern-day oc who gets transported into fear and hunger would be forced into a position where she has to be honest bc its the best chance of survival. this isn't a game where she can just follow the right steps, recruit the people, get them to do the things, this is now real and dangerous and terrifying, and she knows that she can't do it alone.

and i'm just picturing like. d1, she wakes up before everyone else, loses her shit, and then promptly refuses to let ANYONE leave the train. no no but like, also can you picture what im seeing, this woman just pacing back and forth frantically, very clearly losing it, and she's like "you fuckers are not going ANYWHERE, we are all traveling TOGETHER, bc you all do not understand how much danger we're in" and then the others are like, you know, the train just stopped, weird dream, they haven't even been to prehevil yet so they don't know how fucked up everything is over there, and now this random stranger is just losing her shit, they don't take her seriously bc honestly who would, and so she just. she just starts fucking putting them on blast

"o'saa i know you went into the dungeons and nasrah's with you" "pav you will SIT your motherfucking ass down, you do not stand a chance against the fucking kaiser and it isn't even the REAL one you fucking idiot"

"levi i know youre going thru like. withdrawal right now and its totally ok and we have a doctor here and i will get you some heroin if i need to but like please dont run off where i cant find you"

and just basically knows stuff she absolutely shouldn't know, and she's like "YOU GUYS GOTTA BELIEVE ME BC OTHERWISE WE WILL LITERALLY ALL DIE, DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND. there is only ONE way to guarantee us to live and im telling you this bc i know how screwed we are and i cant do it alone ive never even held a fucking weapon in my entire LIFE i just play video games at home-" and also how fucked up is it, that this isekai oc would know damn well that no matter what, someone has to die? like. you either kill everyone else and like get sulfurized/escape, you get moonscorched bc you run out of time, or someone has to become one with logic. aka to get the best "everyone lives" run, someone still needs to die

idk my brain just had this pop into my brain and won't let it go. it'd like, a cliche trope ofc, but i feel like in the context of fear and hunger, it'd be just so horrifying and awful and so WONDERFUL to read

bc its like, fear and hunger is a game series that we know damn well is a horrible like, UNIVERSE to be in, its depressing and awful for the characters who live in it, but can you imagine the ripe ANGST of having an isekai oc from our world go into it? they have our world as a reference point, in the way none of the other characters do, bc this is their world, they don't know anything else, how could they? but this isekai oc would just be so fucking-- innocent in the way the others aren't, bc she hasn't lived through the horrible F&H world and like, the dynamic there is so so interesting too bc all of the characters in termina, all of them on that train are AWARE or have been involved/done bad things, and this here is a character who hasn't, who hasn't seen blood or misery for her entire fucking LIFE. she'd be an "everyman" character by our standards, you know, but by their standards? she'd be such a fucking anomaly with the shit she says, the things she believes in. and also, you know, the fact she knows things about all of them and the situation they're in she has absolutely no right to know and its so SO interesting to think about, actually?? like genuinely losing my mind thinking about this rn