#we did it yall

[ebonyheartnet]

Who wants to spite a landlord? Any volunteers?

My friend’s got a new job starting on the 5th, but rental assistance fell through. Her landlord was cool until a few days ago, when they suddenly changed their mind to giving her until the 29th. While she is a hardcore badass, this isn’t happening without backup. I’m sending out an SOS to my fellow nerds. Come help one of the best friends and GMs I’ve ever known.

I’ll try to make it worth your while, k?

If you like my writing, I’ll do 500 words of fic for $5, and a ficlet for $1. I primarily write Danny Phantom and DC (mostly batfam + supers, but I’m willing to research for the sake of this).

If you want a song for your fav characters from the above fandoms, or you want to give your DND character a theme song, I’ll put something together for $20. Chords, lyrics (if you want) and a guaranteed minimum 1:20 demo recording—more if the brain weasels take hold.

Speaking of songs, to my Danny Phantom, DC, and DP x DC fans:

If we pay my friend’s rent before 12/29/24, I will fully record and release demos for “Half a Kingdom” and “One More Fan for Superman”

If you don’t know me and want to see what you’d get for a ficlet, “Ebony Writes the Thing” is my general writing tag. You can find the lyrics to Half a Kingdom here, and this is One More Fan for Superman. I also have a recording of myself singing a War x Famine Good Omens song, She Make Me Hungry on my old mic before I upgraded.

To claim your reward, DM me your screenshot.

With processing time, we’ve got about 2 days to pull off a minor miracle. Let’s hopepunk the fuck out of this and keep her safe.

Edit:

WE FUCKING DID IT!

Feel free to add some for extra shit like groceries just in case, but fuck, my friend gets to keep her apartment. 🥳

[dnpg-hiatus-survivor]

just when i thought all hope was lost, phil brings up the eye hole incident at the last possible moment

[wulfhalls]

dune messiah real REAL party on my blog pull uppppp

[the-badger-mole]

Auld Lang Syne

So here we are. The last day of 2023, and the last day of The Year Of Content. When I started this, I really wasn't sure I'd finish it. I thought I'd get bored, or busy, or I'd forget, but somehow I made it! For those of you who remembered that I was doing this, thanks for sticking with me through it. For those who started following me because of something I posted, whether you realized what I was doing or not, welcome!

I wish I had something poignant to say about this experience. That I had some sort of end goal in my mind when I began, or that one emerged as I pursued this, but the truth is I just did it because. I stuck with it because it made me....happy is a bit of an overstatement. I've had a terrible year. Possibly the worst of my life. I won't go into details, but there were days this past year where I really, truly welcomed the distraction of coming up with something to post. So, I guess by that measurement, my Year Of Content served a worthwhile purpose, even if I didn't realize on January 1st what was coming in 2023.

I am not planning to leave Tumblr after this, but my posts will be much less frequent. If you like my blog, I hope you stick around and keep sending me asks and keep commenting and reblogging my posts. I also hope that 2024 is a much, much better year than 2023 was. Thanks again for taking this ride with me, whether you knew you were on it or not. Happy New Year

[ineffablebrainrot]

“I love you. I love you.”

-Edward Teach

[rae-a-licious]

A SINGLE FUCKING DAY YALL OMFG

[california-112]

Tablet

General Audiences | No Archive Warnings Apply | Gen | English

Fandom: The X-Files

Characters: Dana Scully, Fox Mulder

Additional tags: Halloween, Calloween, Calloween 2024

Summary:

Mulder picked it up begrudgingly, and read it. As soon as he finished and started to lower it, he found another article thrust into his hands, and dutifully read that too. "You have to admit there are some similarities." Scully said, when Mulder had finally finished reading all the evidence she presented. "An impossibly short timeframe, no viable points of entry or exit, no evidence at the scene, and the artefacts still unrecovered. How do you explain that?" "Doctor Special Agent Dana Scully, is this you trying to convince me that it's aliens?" -or- Scully is presenting a new case to Mulder, and is disturbed by his lack of interest. ABSOLUTELY 0% SPOILERS FOR ANYTHING

Link to AO3 | Part 31 of Calloween 2024

[larz-barz]

YALL OMG YAY I HAVE 50 FOLLOWERS NOW!!!:D

[sleepyjuice]

Hey beautiful ♥️

-JJ anon (if you’ll have me)

MY TIME HAS COMEEEEE hi baby!!!!!!!! 🩷🩷🩷

[anyachristinaemmanuellajenkins]

panting and sweatinf

[ghosttotheparty]

nice

[myaimistrue]

this blog is 2 years old 😭😭😭

[oh-phineas]

Saturday, November 26 — The Final Labor: Based on the final task for the labors, write an AU featuring all your characters in a role. Choose an AU, set out a list of goals for yourself based on tropes within that AU (ex. a red shirt has to die if you’re doing Star Trek or someone in the group gets bitten by a zombie and doesn’t tell the rest if you’re doing an apocalypse), then write to your heart’s content! To count, each character must have a role and your tropes must be laid out beforehand.

PRESENTING: INTERPRIDE, INC: A WORKPLACE COMEDY

(Inspired by The Office, Parks and Rec, Abbott Elementary)

Starring...

Phineas Flynn as the TEMP/MILLENIAL PARODY Tiana Truitt as ACCOUNTING/THE JADED OLD-TIMER Aquata Triton as SALES/THE PARTY ANIMAL Anna Sommers as SOCIAL MEDIA/THE SWEET GIRL WITH A DOPEY BOYFRIEND Bruce White as CUSTOMER SERVICE/THE CLUELESS GUY WHO’S ALWAYS LOOKING INTO THE CAMERA Anastasia Tremaine as THE CORPORATE GIRLBOSS Tanya Tiwari as THE RECEPTIONIST/THE ONE WITH A SHADY PAST Mirabel Madrigal as HUMAN RESOURCES/THE UNREQUITED CRUSH and...  Lightning McQueen as THE BOSS WHO’S A CLOWN!!!

And featuring other tropes such as...

Gift gone missing!

Looking into the camera!

Humorous shots illustrating voiceovers!

An office party that gets a little crazy!

An ill-advised entrepreneur’s idea!

Takes place in an extremely random city!

Let’s go!!!

SCENE ONE (COLD OPEN)

[We open on a nondescript office park in a small American city. A Honda Civic pulls into a parking spot and an angry man storms out of a Subway sandwich shop. We witness an exchange between the driver of the Civic and the sandwich artist. Meanwhile, voiceover]

LIGHTNING: Myyyy name is Montgomery McQueen, I am the regional manager of the InterPride branch here in Trenton— Trenton Makes, the World Takes.

[The shot cuts to LIGHTNING, who is now sitting in his office, a small room with dark green wallpaper and a window behind him covered in blinds. His desk is littered with NASCAR paraphernalia as well as several Hot Wheels cars, one of which he is idly moving back and forth as he speaks]

LIGHTNING: You can call me Lightning, everyone does. Kachow. [HE winks] People always ask me what gets me out of bed in the morning, and you know what I say? I like the idea that I can inspire my team.

[Cut to PHINEAS, a twenty something wearing a blazer over a hoodie, who is tapping his fingers on the copy machine while it prints sheet after sheet]

LIGHTNING [voiceover]: They are so… what’s the word I’m looking for?

[Cut to AQUATA, who is playing Solitaire on her computer while chatting with someone on the phone, looking annoyed]

LIGHTNING [voiceover]: They just need a little guidance, I think. And I am a veteran of this place. Twenty years! When I first started at this place, I was just an intern. But then I grew up. And blossomed. I want to watch these kids blossom, you know?

[Cut to TANYA in the kitchen, spooning soup from one Tupperware to another, and then pan to BRUCE, who stares directly into the camera, looking terrified, and then disappears into another room. Cut to LIGHTNING in his office again, who stops playing with the car and looks into the camera with a grin.

LIGHTNING: Welcome to Interpride!

[OPENING CREDITS: LOVELY DAY by Bill Withers. In one continuous shot, the camera makes its way through the office, beginning at the reception desk, where TANYA is filing her nails. It pans to MIRABEL, who is rushing through the entryway with a stack of filing folders, which she drops and spills everywhere. In a quick pan, the camera turns to TIANA and AQUATA, who appear to be gossiping at the water cooler. PHINEAS tosses a business card onto ANNA’S desk, who blushes, and then pans to BRUCE, who is once again staring into the camera. A Zoom screen pops up on an unattended computer, showing ANNIE, waving and grinning. Then the camera moves again, past several desks until it settles on LIGHTNING, kicking his feet up on his desk. The camera zooms in on a mug on LIGHTNING’S desk with the words INTERPRIDE, INC. emblazoned across the front].

SCENE TWO

[We open on MIRABEL, who is carefully lettering the back of a mixtape. The phone rings, prompting the camera to quickly pan to the reception desk, in a motion that seems hurried. We see TANYA, who appears to be assembling some kind of mysterious contraption, roll her eyes and press a button, which prompts the phone in LIGHTNING’S office to ring.]

LIGHTNING: Annie! So good to hear from you!

[LIGHTNING stands up and shuts the door, and the camera zooms in through an opening in the blinds that separate Lightning’s office window from the rest of the office. We hear ANNIE’S voice through the speakerphone].

ANNIE: Hey, Monty. I’m just gonna cut to the chase. I need you to get me that name by end of day.

LIGHTNING: [chuckles nervously] It’s Lightning, now, remember? We’re doing Lightning.

ANNIE: Uhhh, yeah, sure, Lightning [she says it carefully, the verbal equivalent of pinching the tiniest piece of fabric between two fingers when picking up someone else’s laundry].

[We cut to LIGHTNING in an interview shot in his office]

LIGHTNING: Annie is what I would call… well, Annie is from corporate. She doesn’t really understand the way things work in our little family.

[Cut to ANNIE, a well-dressed woman in her forties in a much sleeker-looking office. The Interpride, Inc. logo is mounted on the wall behind her].

ANNIE: [deadpan] Monty is an idiot.

[Cut to LIGHTNING in his office, on the phone with ANNIE again]

LIGHTNING: So, here’s the thing, Annie. I couuuuld get you that name, or—

ANNIE [through the phone]: Lightning, I really don’t wanna hear it. We’re on a time crunch. Get me that name.

[Cut to LIGHTNING in interview setting again]

LIGHTNING: Layoffs? Of course there aren’t going to be layoffs. [Chuckles nervously] Who said anything about layoffs?

SCENE THREE

[ANNA types away at her desk, which is plastered with photos of herself and PHINEAS. There are also various books and knickknacks scattered about. On the other side of her cubicle sits AQUATA, who has a resting angry face as she furiously punches numbers into a spreadsheet]

ANNA: Hey, Aquata?

AQUATA [joylessly, not pausing her typing]: What?

ANNA: Can you make sure you send me those Q3 sales numbers?

AQUATA: I already sent them to you.

ANNA: Really? Because the only email I have in the past hour from you is blank, with just this attachment where it looks like you were ordering something from AliEx—

AQUATA: [suddenly pausing her typing] Uh, give me a second, I’ll have it over to you in a minute.

[PHINEAS sidles up to Anna’s desk, prompting an eye roll from AQUATA, who goes back to typing]

PHINEAS: Hey hey heeeey, how’s my favorite Twitter Boss?

ANNA: [simpering] My official title is social media assistant, Phineas.

PHINEAS: Aahhhh, that’s what it was. How about smartypants?

ANNA: [giggling] Shouldn’t you have work to do?

[The camera pans to BRUCE, who is talking on a headset, but still manages to get a direct look into the camera. It pans back to PHINEAS]

PHINEAS: Prolly. But I wanted to talk to you.

ANNA: Okay, well, we’re still on tonight, right?

[PHINEAS’S face goes entirely blank, like he has no idea what ANNA is talking about. The camera pans to MIRABEL, who has paused in writing on the back of the cassette tape, now watching PHINEAS disdainfully. She glances to her side and sees the camera focused on her, blushes, knocks the tape onto the ground, seems to panic momentarily, and then goes back to typing something on her computer. TIANA walks by, sees the tape on the ground, and picks it up, then walks away]

[It dawns on PHINEAS, as we pan back to him, that he was supposed to have a date with ANNA tonight].

PHINEAS: Oh, man, I’m really sorry, babe, but I got this really important call with a potential investor tonight.

[Cut to PHINEAS in the conference room, being interviewed]

PHINEAS: Yeah! So, it’s basically the Keurig of hot sauce. The idea is that you pop one of these bad boys in the machine [holding up a small red pod] and it’ll evenly distribute it all over whatever you’re eating. No more guesswork. And it’s single serving! So you don’t have to open a whole bottle every time you want to try a new variety. I’ve been talking to some people about it, and I think I stand a pretty good chance at getting on Shark Tank.

[Cut to ANNA in the conference room, being interviewed]

ANNA: Um, yeah! [Looking a bit tired, a bit disappointed] I’m totally supportive of Phineas’s ideas. He’s really smart. [Overcompensating a little] I mean, I think that just comes with the territory of dating a genius, you know? You gotta let them do their thing. Sometimes they’re a little… forgetful.

[Cut to ANNA and PHINEAS still chatting by ANNA’s desk. MIRABEL walks by, looking panicked now, and stops at the reception desk. TANYA doesn’t look up from the contraption she is still building at her desk].

MIRABEL: Tanya— [TANYA ignores here. MIRABEL groans and raises her voice, more sharply now] Tanya!

TANYA: [looking up, scowling] Jeez, why are you so loud?

MIRABEL: [sighing] Tanya, have you seen, like, a little cassette tape?

TANYA: [back to working on her gadget] No. 

[Cut to MIRABEL in the conference room, interview setup]

MIRABEL: Okay, it’s really silly, but— I made this mixtape for Anna because we’ve been friends for a while now…

[Continue in voiceover as cut to a shot of ANNA leaning over the barrier of MIRABEL’s cubicle, giggling. MIRABEL looks up at her, blushing]

MIRABEL: And then I actually looked at it and I was like, wow, uh, actually, I don’t think her boyfriend would appreciate this…

MIRABEL: What songs do I have on it? Uh, I dunno, it’s just that I think it could be interpreted a certain way… Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne, Break Up With Your Girlfriend by Ariana Grande… The point is that I really need to get this thing back before Anna sees it and gets the wrong idea.

[Cut back to MIRABEL at the reception desk. LIGHTNING walks by, whistling Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne.]

MIRABEL: Wait! Lightning!

LIGHTNING: Mirabel! Just the person I was looking for. Follow me, I have something to talk to you about.

[MIRABEL visibly perks up and follows LIGHTNING into his office. He sighs loudly, long-sufferingly, as though he has the most difficult job in existence]

LIGHTNING: Have a seat. Mirabel, Mirabel, Mirabel…

[MIRABEL sits in one of the chairs opposite LIGHTNING’s desk, starting to look more confused/worried]

LIGHTNING: Well, there’s no easy way to say this. You’re fired.

MIRABEL: What?! Why?!

LIGHTNING: [Looks aside into camera and cringes, then takes a deep breath and hardens his expression as he looks at MIRABEL again] You are… not an essential member of this team, and corporate has mandated layoffs. I’m sorry. Maybe if your performance had—

MIRABEL: Performance? I’m Human Resources! The only Human Resources rep at this branch! Is that even legal? 

LIGHTNING: [pauses, as though unsure if this is actually legal] Uh, well, actually— [glances down at his notepad again] Kidding!

MIRABEL: [looking completely and utterly lost now] What? You’re kidding?

LIGHTNING: Come on, Mirabel, learn to take a joke! [He stands up] Now get back to work! Oh, we do have fun here…

MIRABEL: That wasn’t— how—

LIGHTNING: [chuckling] Oh, Mirabel. C’mon, you’ve got to get back to work now…

MIRABEL: [standing up but not leaving] So corporate isn’t mandating layoffs?

LIGHTNING: Uh, well, we’ll have to see about that one, actually, I’m not… sure.

MIRABEL: You’re not sure.

LIGHTNING: Don’t worry about it. [glances into the camera and smiles nervously]

SCENE FOUR

[The BREAKROOM, a small kitchenette area with appliances, a water cooler, and a table. AQUATA and TIANA hover by the water cooler, while BRUCE eats grocery store sushi and TANYA furiously types code into a laptop]

AQUATA: I’m just saying, the client sent me an entire handle of vodka and what was I supposed to do, say no?

TIANA: I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what you were supposed to do.

[Cut to TIANA in the conference room interview setup]

TIANA: Look, I’ve worked here for thirty years, I don’t give a [bleep] what people do anymore. If Aquata gets written up, not my problem.

[Cut to BREAK ROOM]

AQUATA: I just think if we have an office party and we all drink it, you can split up the cost of it so that it’s actually way under the maximum gift threshold.

TIANA: I’m not sure that’s how that–

[MIRABEL bursts in]

MIRABEL: Someone’s getting laid off!

[BRUCE stares into the camera in horror]

AQUATA: What?!

TIANA: What…

AQUATA: Well, who?

MIRABEL: I don’t know! It was almost me!

TIANA: You don’t know and you’re HR?

MIRABEL: I don’t know what just happened, but Lightning called me into his office and tried to fire me and then he changed his mind and tried to act like it was a joke, but when I tried to ask about the layoff rumors, he started acting really weird?

[TIANA, AQUATA, and BRUCE’S jaws drop in horror]

AQUATA: I’m pretty sure my buddy Henry at corporate mentioned there have been cuts recently…

TIANA: [nonplussed] You mean your buddy Henry who’s getting investigated for wire fraud?

[Cut to BRUCE in conference room, interview setup]

BRUCE: [terrified] I don’t know anything about that. They just brought me on for some extra customer service help after Lightning’s Twitter incident [Cut] I don’t know anything about the Twitter incident, either. Please don’t ask me this stuff!

[Cut to BREAK ROOM] 

MIRABEL: Look, I can try and get in touch with Annie and see what’s going on, but…

TANYA: [snorts] I’ll take care of it.

[EVERYONE stares at TANYA]

AQUATA: What do you mean, you’ll take care of it?

BRUCE: I think it’s better if we don’t ask questions.

TANYA: Exactly. Everyone listen to Bruce.

[An awkward silence descends]

MIRABEL: Uh, so, while I have everyone here, has anyone seen a mixtape?

TIANA: The one Lightning dropped?

MIRABEL: What?

TIANA: I dunno, I saw a mixtape on the ground and it was exactly his taste in music, so I put it in his mailbox. Why? It didn’t belong to you, did it? It looked like some kind of weird jealousy playlist. Assumed it had to do with his obvious crush on Annie. The whole vibe of it was pretty pathetic, to be honest.

MIRABEL: [Glances at the camera, horrified, then looks back at TIANA] Uhhh, no, I must be thinking of a different one.

SCENE FIVE

[The CONFERENCE ROOM. ANNA sits toward the front, anxiously tapping her fingers. PHINEAS sits next to her, scrolling on his phone. TANYA is peeling an orange. AQUATA, MIRABEL, and BRUCE sit toward the back, looking somewhat anxious as well. TIANA is dozing off. LIGHTNING stands at the front of the room, giving a presentation]

LIGHTNING: So I know there has been a lot of scuttlebutt lately about potential layoffs, and I am pleased to announce–

[Pan to the other employees, who lean forward with interest, except for TANYA, PHINEAS, and TIANA, who are still checked out]

LIGHTNING: You have nothing to worry about unless you have had any kind of performance issue.

[General confusion and outbursts from the employees]

MIRABEL: What does that even mean?

LIGHTNING: It means that I’m going to evaluate everyone’s performance and–

TANYA: Guys, I really wouldn’t be that worried. It’ll work itself out.

LIGHTNING: Exactly! That’s the spirit, Tanya. Everything happens for a reason.

TANYA: No, I mean, nobody’s getting laid off. You should be getting a call from Annie in three, two…

[Phone rings]

LIGHTNING: I will… go get that.

[Quick camera pan to LIGHTNING on the wall phone]

LIGHTNING: Uh… huh. Uh huh. Well! That’s good news! I knew you would see reason… oh, it has nothing to do with me. I mean, it had a little to do with me, right? Since I’m the branch manager? [A beat] Uh, anyway. Thank you for the great news. I will share with my staff!

[LIGHTNING returns to the front of the conference room, camera follows]

LIGHTNING: Well, good news, no one is getting laid off!

AQUATA: What?!

[Zoom in on TIANA rolling her eyes]

MIRABEL: How is that possible?

LIGHTNING: You know, sometimes the stars align, and… 

[Cut to TANYA in the conference room, interview setup]

TANYA: [smirking, self-satisfied] All I’m gonna say is that Henry isn’t the only one who was involved at wire fraud at corporate. 

[Cut to main scene in conference room]

LIGHTNING: You know what? We should celebrate! It’s already four, let’s start happy hour now. I actually found this mix tape, looks like perfect party music. 

[zoom in on MIRABEL, who glances at the camera nervously]

SCENE SIX

[The main office setting. Jessie’s Girl by Rick Springfield is playing, and the staff is milling about. AQUATA is pouring shots of vodka]

AQUATA: For legal reasons, I need everyone to have at least one.

TIANA: You don’t need to tell me twice.

[They both drink]

[Pan to ANNA, approaching MIRABEL]

ANNA: I think it was really sweet of you to make that mixtape.

MIRABEL: [nearly spitting out her drink] What? I didn’t make that mixtape! I don’t– it’s not–

ANNA: [giggling] It’s okay. I know you didn’t want anyone to know. But I didn’t think anyone else noticed how sad Lightning was when he found out that Annie had a boyfriend, so I thought it was really nice to get him a playlist of some songs he could use to cope with that.

MIRABEL: [realization dawning on her] Oh. Yeah. Yeah, uh, you got me.

[ANNA pats MIRABEL on the shoulder, and MIRABEL blushes]

[Cut to LIGHTNING in his office, interview setup]

LIGHTNING: You know, I think the best part of being a boss is seeing people come together like this. 

[Voiceover continues as the camera cuts to scenes of the party. PHINEAS teaches BRUCE a TikTok dance]

LIGHTNING: Some people think an office is just an office, but it’s also a community, you know?

[AQUATA tosses a piece of popcorn and ANNA catches it in her mouth. They both cheer. MIRABEL watches, smiling]

LIGHTNING: They say you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family. Well, you also can’t pick your coworkers. Unless you’re me. I pick all the coworkers.

[TANYA mutters something, and BRUCE glances at her in surprise, as though holding back laughter. TIANA makes a remark. Then they all burst out laughing. Cut back to LIGHTNING in his office]

LIGHTNING: I think I did a pretty good job picking, didn’t I?

[Phone rings]

LIGHTNING: Annie! You know, I actually can’t talk, happy hour’s starting. And you won’t believe this playlist.

[END SCENE]

SCENE SEVEN (Tag)

[PHINEAS in the conference room, interview setup] 

PHINEAS: So there’s five different flavors right now. Coolio Chipotle, Slammin’ Sriracha, Garbage Sauce, Jalapeno Business, and Flynn Surprise. We actually have a prototype for the machine, too, you wanna see it?

[takes out a Keurig machine with the words INSTA-SAUCED taped over the logo]

PHINEAS: So, I put my burrito here… [puts burrito under the dispenser] and one of the sauce cups goes here… [adds a reusable K-cup to the top] and away… we…

[Machine pops open, spraying hot sauce everywhere]

PHINEAS: AHHH, [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP]

[END]

[merciawintersageposting]

they’ll always be slammed down big style… in our hearts💕 💖🫶🏻🫶🏻

I hope the person who green lights the CC’s possible early release gets slammed down big style every night for the rest of their lives

[reineydraws]

this is a scene from opla s2, black leg gazpacho told me himself!!!

src by @op-trash-blog-of-hell

[time-woods]

well look who's back

this thing