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florrickandassociates · 4 years ago

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TGF Thoughts-- 5x07: And the fight had a detente...

This episode is a wild ride, so if you haven’t seen it yet and you aren’t spoiled, don’t read this. Just go watch it.

Ave Maria plays over a photo montage of cancelled men, including Kevin Spacey, Louie CK, and Scott Rudin. (Scott Rudin, if you don’t know the name, is a Broadway/Hollywood producer who treated his assistants like absolute shit. He’s the inspiration for the possessed producer episode of Evil—I think it’s the third episode of the series—and Robert King does not like him one bit.)

And then the episode opens with Wackner, Del, and Cord discussing the Armie Hammer cannibalism ordeal. Whew, this is not what I wanted to be thinking about first thing on a Thursday morning. I do not think I can put into words how boring I find debating whether or not someone should have been “cancelled.” Cancellation is usually about rich people facing consequences for shitty actions, and those consequences have never involved anyone’s rights being infringed upon, so why should I care about someone being cancelled? And, while I know that society/people on Twitter don’t always understand nuance, I’d like to think that when it comes to the most notable examples of cancellation... no one is losing their livelihood over false or minor allegations.

There are so, so, so many issues in the world. Cancellation affects a handful of high profile, usually white, straight, male, celebrities. Why should I give a shit about, like, Louie CK not being able to make as much money as he used to? I just do not and cannot find it interesting.

I’m not surprised David Cord and Del Cooper find this topic interesting—Del likely hates worrying that all of his comedians could get cancelled and put him in a financially tricky spot; Cord probably says things like “Woke Mob” unironically. And as for Wackner, he almost certainly has a skewed understanding of what actually happens when someone’s cancelled and sees a place where he can step in and add some order. Blah. It’s just so boring.

"People are getting canceled without a trial, no evidence presented against them,” Wackner says. This is not it, Wackner! This is such a strawman argument. We don’t need the legal system to adjudicate people being assholes to each other, and in cases where a crime is committed or a particular individual can sue for damages, that is what happens. If you act shitty and then your sponsors realize you’re toxic and drop you, like, it is what it is. You can feel free to respond via a Notes App screenshot where half of your apology is actually just whining about cancel culture and then you say “I’m sorry if anyone took offense at what I did” instead of saying “I’m sorry I said/did hurtful things” and when people don’t take that seriously, maybe it’s because you didn’t take it seriously, either.

“There are a lot of reasons these accusations never go to trial. The victims finally get to accuse the victimizer face to face,” Wackner explains. Were the victims asking for this?

Marissa shares my question, noting that if the victims don’t want to speak up, then the victimizer would have the court to himself. This raises a new question: who is even bringing these cases? Are Wackner, Cord, and Del just deciding they want to do things as cases and then getting everyone else on board? This sounds bad!

Apparently, according to Wackner, “if #MeToo relies on mob rule, it’ll exhaust itself.” What... evidence is there for this? I get why people panic about the POSSIBILITY of this happening, even though I don’t share their panic, but is there any actual evidence that #MeToo is losing steam because of false allegations because cancellation isn’t a formal process? I don’t believe there is.

The test case we have the pleasure of seeing this week is about “Louie CK two,” whom I shall refer to as LCK2 instead of learning his name.

Now, suddenly, Marissa is asking one of LCK2’s victims to testify. She doesn’t want to participate because it’s just another way for LCK2 to get his career back. Marissa decides to be idealistic and say this is a real opportunity to confront LCK2 with his crime. I suppose she isn’t wrong, and that is what happens next, but, again, meh.

Apparently David Cord is going to defend LCK2. You know what would get cancelled in five seconds? A David Cord funded show that has David Cord actually on it, railing against cancel culture! Can you IMAGINE the thinkpieces?

God, when is this episode going to move on from this extremely irritating premise?

Marissa decides she wants to be the prosecutor. Wackner says if she prosecutes LCK2, she has to prosecute the academic who used a word that sounds like the n-word and lost her job for it. Marissa thinks the academic shouldn’t have been fired, but Wackner insists she has to take both cases.

“Let’s go into court,” Wackner says, and, thank goodness, we do go into court: REAL court, where we are talking about REAL issues.

In court, Liz and Diane are suing the police over the death of a black girl who was tased by the police. Her friend is on the stand and it’s quite emotional. Also, Diane tries to pass Liz a note and Liz ignores it. Why would you have two name partners on this case if they aren’t even going to try to work together?

You can tell things are tense between two TGF characters when they talk at the same time in court but are on the same side.

Hiiiiii Abernathy! ILY!

The victim had a heart condition, which the police lawyer argues is the actual cause of death. Police lawyer also argues that since this witness posted some ACAB lyrics on Instagram, she must be biased. Eyeroll.

Liz calls the other lawyer racist; the other lawyer tries to make Liz look like she is only on her client’s side because she’s black and that Liz is being absurd.

Cancel culture court happens. We’re dealing with the academic case first. I don’t feel like talking about the cancel culture shit too much, so here is my take on this case as a whole: (1) I don’t think the actual word in question, which isn’t actually the n-word, is enough on its own to get someone fired (2) I also don’t think anyone can use that word, regardless of its meaning or history, without understanding how it will come across. (3) The teacher did not get fired for simply using this word once (4) This teacher believes that anyone who is from a group that’s been marginalized in history should have to confront that marginalization with as little sympathy and respect as possible because it will help them be more resilient. So basically, if you are from the dominant group then you don’t get challenged. She believes it is her job to do this. She is an egotistical asshole who has no business teaching.

Cord wants everyone to have to say the full word in question. He says this pretentiously (though I don’t think saying “Said word” is that pretentious, tbh) and Wackner rules against him and also makes him wear a powdered wig for using “obtuse language.”

Marissa is not trying at all with this case at first, since she doesn’t believe in it. That’s shitty, Marissa. If you want to be a lawyer at a firm like RL you’re going to have to fight for all of your clients.

Marissa makes a Latin joke and ends up in a powdered wig, too.

The prof says, in one sentence, that she didn’t know what she was doing using the word and also that the black student who took offense thinks college is supposed to be warm, cuddly, and unchallenging. So it was a challenge, then, prof?

I like this student. And I love that she calls Marissa out for obviously not trying.

“The optics matter. Racially,” Diane says to Liz, who agrees. Diane, strategically, makes it about gender first (the cop is male, some jurors may react to a woman questioning a man), then makes it about how she should be the one questioning the cop since Liz is black. It would make the jury more “comfortable” (hey, there’s that word again!) Diane says. She says she is being pragmatic.

Diane says that she could be “more dispassionate”. Be or come across as, Diane? Either way, Liz, who knows full well what the optics look like given that this isn’t her first time in court, doesn’t agree with Diane that they need to come across as dispassionate.

Then Diane just changes the subject to the firm drama. “Liz, you’re shoving me out of my name partner position because of my race.” Like that’s the issue!

“I am doing nothing. You are the one who got our racist clients to whine to STR Laurie about us,” Liz counters. “Those clients bring in a great deal of money, and they are not racists,” Diane insists. Yes. Sure. Diane just happened to choose white male clients who were “comfortable” with her to talk to. I have no doubt they’d have reacted poorly to any change in representation, but Diane was counting on those particular clients having some discomfort with their new lawyers.

Liz calls her out and Diane’s still trying to play it like she just had to inform her long-term clients and it just had to be done this way. But, when Liz asks if Diane thinks the clients would’ve had the same reaction if their new representation were to be white, Diane says that maybe her clients are worried about racial grudges. So, what you’re saying is you knew exactly what you were doing, huh, Diane?

I get why Diane doesn’t like being pushed out, because who would, but Diane, this isn’t about you. And if you didn’t want to make it about race, perhaps you shouldn’t have appeared on a panel about how great it is that your firm is majority black? You can’t have it both ways.

Liz notes that Diane felt “entitled” to her name partnership. This is accurate, though based on revenue and stature I don’t think it can be denied that Diane deserves name partner status (generally speaking). Diane went over to RBK, was like, “sure, I’ll be a junior partner, thank you so much for the opportunity, I can’t even pay my capital contribution right now but what if I were name partner in three months?” and that is both entitlement and knowing one’s own worth, but mostly entitlement.

(Liz does not act entitled, but if we want to get into who deserves their partnership more—again generally speaking, not their partnership at a black firm specifically—it is definitely Diane! Liz literally only has this job because her dad was important.)

“I think that Barbara Kolstad was shoved out because you felt entitled to her position,” Liz shouts. OMG, a mention of Barbara?!?!?!??!?!? THANK YOU, WRITERS!!!

(This is a slight bit of revisionist history but I’ll allow it, and I think it’s right in thought even if it’s not right on the details. Barbara wasn’t shoved out—Barbara chose to go to a different firm that offered her a better deal—but I don’t think Barbara would’ve been on that trajectory had it not been for Diane’s presence at the firm. Barbara was in charge of a firm that shared her values when, suddenly, her partner decided that they needed to pursue profit over all else and needed Diane to execute that strategy. Maybe no one made a move directly against her, but Adrian and Diane changed the mission of RBK until it was no longer somewhere Barbara wanted to work.

“We can’t work together if you don’t respect me,” Diane screams at Liz. “No, we can’t work together if you use race cynically,” Liz responds. Diane gets even angrier, swears a bunch, and then says “You want to come after me, you come after me with an honest argument about my lack of competence, my lack of worth.” Diane, you are fighting a completely different battle here! You can be entitled and also correct and also good at your job. This is what you used to accuse Alicia of all the time. The fact you’ve turned this into something about your skill level when it’s about the meaning of having a black firm is only proving Liz’s point.

“Your unworthiness—which you don’t seem to want to acknowledge—is that you can’t be the top dog in a black firm,” Liz says. Exactly. But Diane just storms off.

Now the cop is on the stand. He did not know the victim had a heart condition. Uh, obviously, why would he have known that?

Liz is aggressive in court; Diane thinks this is the wrong strategy. Without knowing who is on the jury, I have no idea which one of them is correct.

The next move is to get the cop’s ex-wife, who he abused, on the stand.

Goodie, it’s cancel culture court. Things go well for Marissa, but Del wants to know why Marissa wasn’t that passionate about the n-word case. Marissa says she feels like it’s not the n-word, like that is a valid reason to not represent your client to the best of your ability. “It is. It always is,” says Del.

Marissa heads back to RL, and as she walks, the camera follows her and moves through the space until we end up in Liz’s office, where she gets a news alert about the cop from the COTW. He’s been killed, seemingly in retaliation for his actions. The news is quick to suggest the trial might’ve encouraged the killing. “Oh, fuck.” Diane says as she watches the news. Aaaand credits (at 20 minutes in!)

From the promos, I thought this was going to be a Very Serious Episode about police brutality. From the opening, I thought it was going to be an insufferable episode about cancel culture. I was wrong! (Though, I suppose, some of the cancel culture stuff is still insufferable.)

Yay for Carrie Preston, who directed this episode. I read an interview with her and she talked about how there’s a “look book” for directing TGF episodes and I have never wanted to see anything as badly as I want to see this look book. (Am I exaggerating? Probably. But I might not be.)

After credits, Marissa finds Carmen and Jay to ask them if “n-word-ly" is offensive. She acknowledges she’s being annoying but they let her continue anyway. Jay finds it offensive. Carmen does not. This seems fitting with their characters, and I love that this scene acknowledges that not every black person is going to have the exact same reaction to everything.

I want Carmen to have more to do! While I’m glad the show isn’t forcing her to have a large role in every plot just because, I feel like she’s gone missing for the middle part of the season. My guess is that their priority with Carmen is setting her up to be an ongoing part of the cast who grows into being someone we want a lot from rather than forcing her plots from the start... but surely we could get a little more of her! I doubt she’s a one-season character like I assume Wackner will be.

The cop’s murder changes the vibe in court. Abernathy calls a moment of silence in his memory. “We’re fucked,” Liz whispers to Diane.

And indeed they are. The cop’s ex no longer wants to talk about how abusive he was—she wants to talk about how great he was. Whose idea was it to still put her on the stand?! Idk about legal procedures but this seems like a really avoidable mistake!

Diane argues that the cop’s death has prejudiced the jury. Abernathy decides to call a “voir dire de novo,” using an obtuse Latin phrase that would not be permitted in Wackner’s court. (Love the little parallels in this episode, like this, the transition between courts earlier, and how much of Marissa being called out on her whiteness feels like a thematic extension of everything going on with Diane.)

Cancel culture court continues. Carmen shows up.

I don’t really get how June, the victim of LCK2, potentially losing a headlining gig for a bad set instead of retaliation from LCK2, scores him a point. One, if she was a rising store, one bad set shouldn’t have damned her career. Two, isn’t it enough to prove that he masturbated in front of women who didn’t want him to do that???????

Having June perform her act with no prep in Wackner’s court so they can judge whether or not she is funny is a wildly bad idea. So now Wackner is an arbiter of humor as well as cancel culture?

This whole system is silly and I reject the whole premise but June should not lose two points for the logic that Wackner + the audience don’t find June funny --> June must’ve had her career derailed because she just isn’t funny (how’d she book the headliner gig, then?) --> LCK2 scores points??? He still masturbated in front of her without her consent!

Using cancel culture to show Wackner’s court is going too far/slipping into bad territory: I’m on board with this. Using Wackner’s court to actually comment on cancel culture: Ugh. The writers seem to be trying to do both.

Lol at Abernathy having Stacey Abrams’ book on his desk.

Marissa argues the n-word case more passionately, because these writers love to make situations that seemed clear cut seem more uncertain. It’s no coincidence they have the sexual harassment case look murkier (though, again, June being bad at comedy does not negate the sexual harassment!) right before they have the n-work case begin to tilt in favor of the professor’s cancellation.

Hahah what bullshit about trying to prepare the students for a world that won’t be kind to them. Do you seriously think your black students need YOU to prepare them?

This lady thinks history classes have to describe rapes in detail to get students to sympathize. No, no they fucking do not.

She also says she’d use the n-word if she were teaching a topic where it might come up. Um, no?

Mr. Elk (this is what I call Ted Willoughby, Idiot Reporter, after he said “things of that elk” in his first appearance) is attacking Diane and Liz on his show. Diane and Liz are, apparently, “Marxist slip-and-fall lawyers” and Mr. Elk plays a clip of Diane saying cops need to be held accountable. Obviously, this was before the cop’s death and meant to be about the legal system, but it looks like Diane’s calling for his murder. I also love how they go out of their way to only pause the clip on unflattering frames of Diane.

Liz wants to use this in court—I forgot that Liz is super sneaky but this tracks; she is always quick to use things to her advantage and we’ve known that about her since her strategy with the DNC in 2x07 (to make outlandish allegations and then drop them before presenting proof). Julius wants to get Liz and Diane security.

That security is, apparently Jay. I think they’ve shown Jay as security before when Lucca went viral. I didn’t understand it then and I don’t understand it now.

I was, briefly, worried for Liz and Diane’s safety, especially after I saw all the angry cops waiting for them in court. Then I thought, oh, well at least they’re in court, they should be safe from being shot there. Then I remembered 5x15. Then I laughed at myself.

Liz’s new strategy works and Abernathy uses more Latin. But, they can’t get any more jurors thrown. (They’re going for a mistrial.)

Oh, Carmen is back again! She did SO MUCH in that court scene where she appeared and then disappeared! She’s chatting with Marissa and spots LCK2 in the RL offices.

Apparently, LCK2 negotiated a contract with Del, with David Lee’s help. (Why would David Lee be doing entertainment law?) Suddenly everything makes sense to Marissa.

She calls Del to the stand. This—and, honestly, everything after this—makes me wonder how much of this would ever make it to air. Why would Del televise this?

What a shock—Del wants LCK2 back on his streaming service (which I don’t think has a name LOL).

Somehow Marissa’s questions become about Wackner and whether or not Wackner is an impartial judge, which doesn’t seem like the core issue. Wackner has made it pretty clear that his stance is that he doesn’t care if others are corrupt around him or try to use him; he’s going to be impartial no matter what. Why not play that up instead of making the entire show look staged and Wackner look complicit, Marissa?

Like, why is Marissa asking Wackner if he’s prejudged the case?! Why isn’t she just trying to like, get him to declare a mistrial because there is a conflict of interest? She can make a version of this argument without accusing Wackner of PREJUDGING, which she knows—I know, so she knows—will set him off. Wackner truly believe he thinks he is impartial. It’s not smart strategy to question that (even if we all know that Wackner is not impartial!)

Wackner blows up at Marissa and shouts at her. He tells her to get the fuck out of court.

This is certainly dramatic, but again, would Del ever choose to air this? I doubt it.

On her way to work, Diane notices hot pink spray paint in the elevator. When she exits the elevator, the whole firm is gathered in the lobby. Someone has painted COP KILLERS across the elevator bank. “Security doesn’t know how they got in,” Jay says. “Of course they don’t,” Diane responds. “They suggest we call the cops,” Jay says. I love this little exchange. I wasn’t exactly wondering how someone got in, but I like the show making it clear how unprotected Diane and Liz are right now and why.

Julius appears and says that Mr. Elk is saying something new. Diane and Liz sit down to watch and the tone of this episode completely shifts.

I had forgotten completely that Liz’s dad’s assault issues are out in public until Mr. Elk called him “a disgraced civil rights leader.” It doesn’t feel like they’re out in public! Also I would believe Mr. Elk calling him disgraced for no reason at all.

Y’all, when Mr. Elk said the name “Duke Roscoe,” my jaw dropped. WHAT A CALLBACK.

This scene, and really, everything in this plot from here on out, is a delight. It just keeps going and going. It is the best kind of fanservice.

1x11 has been, for no real reason, on my mind since 5x04. It popped out to me as an example of this show’s humor so I talked about it in that recap. I nearly mentioned it in my 5x06 recap when Diane laughed at Julius’s suggestion that they start a firm together. I rewatched 1x11, by complete chance, like two weeks ago. How weird that I'm somehow on the show’s wavelength about this!

Also I made a joke about Mr. Elk last week without knowing he’d be back this episode. I would like to think I conjured this.

(1x11 is a really pivotal episode for TGW, even if it isn’t one of the most notable episodes overall. It's composer David Buckley’s first episode and that ending, with Diane laughing, is one of the earliest moments of TGW showing its sense of humor and playing to its strengths.)

Mr. Elk notes that they “rarely see” Kurt, which is apparently evidence that Diane is a lesbian. Hahahahahahah. Mr. Elk also wouldn’t want to note Kurt, despite his recent controversy, because to his viewers, Kurt’s beliefs would make Diane seem more sympathetic.

GUYS, THE WRITERS DECIDED TO MAKE A CALLBACK TO AN ICONIC MOMENT FROM AN EPISODE THAT AIRED OVER A DECADE AGO AND THEN BUILD ON IT. I cannot express how fucking happy this makes me.

Now, Mr. Elk says, Diane and Liz are an item!

What’s better than Diane laughing hysterically at the original allegations? Diane doing it again, eleven years later, JOINED BY LIZ.

This also works super well to cut the tension between Diane and Liz. I assume this isn’t the end of the name partnership drama, but I think it might be the end of Diane and Liz being pissed at each other. Since the name partnership drama was never really about Diane and Liz (Liz seems to want Diane to stay on...), I’m fine with that.

Because this is an episode full of callbacks that delight me, Del asks Liz when he gets to meet her son! HER SON STILL EXISTS!

It sounds like Liz and Del still aren’t fully official, which clarifies why they don’t seem to be a couple in public.

Del brings up the Diane rumor (jokingly) and Liz jokes along. I love that we get to see this playful side of Liz.

Wackner’s watching his outburst with regret. Del calms him down and notes that this is good TV (why... would Del air this... it makes DEL look worse than anyone!). Wackner calls Marissa to apologize; she picks up and accepts his apology.

Abernathy calls Liz and Diane into chambers. He’s worried he was “insensitive”-- he's noticed the tension between Liz and Diane, but now he thinks it was a lover’s spat.

Diane puts on a poker face and leans in towards Liz. She starts nodding attentively and thanks Abernathy. Liz smiles and doubles down: she’s not just going to play along, she’s going to milk it. She gets a juror kicked for homophobia, which means a mistrial. Shameless. I love it.

Diane and Liz playing off each other as Abernathy tries to look like as much of an ally as possible is comedy gold.

Diane even calls Liz darling. Omg.

LCK2 is on the stand, being charismatic and annoying. Of course he is. This is what happens when you give someone who is known for being able to connect with a crowd... a crowd and the benefit of the doubt.

LCK2 is talking about “stupid women” in his new set. Why... is Del giving that a platform at all? See, the fact that Del thinks it is not only interesting but also somehow essential to let LCK2 make jokes about sexual harassment is why I can’t take this episode seriously. Why should I be more outraged about someone who did something shitty not getting a trial for his shitty but legal behavior than I am about powerful people continuing to offer shitty people platforms? Only one of these seems outrageous to me.

Wackner decides that the professor did something “awful but lawful” and that’s it. So you’re saying that if it isn’t illegal, it doesn’t get decided in your court, either? What was the point of this, then?

The professor says she doesn’t want that—she wants the school to know she’s being punished so she can get her job back. The student storms out, rightfully. Wackner’s job isn’t to offer someone who wants punishment some form of penance, like she can exchange community service hours for offensive remarks. It’s to... well, idk what it is to do, since this whole thing doesn’t really make sense and he makes the rules, but I don’t think his verdict has to be about giving anyone what they want. I’m disappointed that Wackner comes up with a punishment and I don’t think it’s going to get her her job back.

LCK2 loses, too, because he hasn’t made amends. Wackner doesn’t want to fine him because he’s too rich for a fine to matter. Cord argues that LCK2 deserves a second chance. I mean, sure, but is he being denied a second chance? He doesn’t deserve an easy path back to his fame just because he wants it.

Wackner mentions prison. At first I was like, oh, that’s a nice throwaway line that he mentioned prison! This ties into what I was saying a few weeks ago about how Wackner likes the institutions that already exist—he just thinks they’re imperfect! It’s fitting that he’s not a prison abolitionist!

And then the episode actually went there: Wackner, thanks to David Cord’s private prison company, actually sentences LCK2 to prison. This is deeply uncomfortable (and of questionable legality). Wackner’s system is just going to recreate prison? Worse, private prison? He’s creating an unchecked, privatized legal system?! This sounds bad! Kudos to the show for taking this to some place so dark—I knew Wackner’s system would start to show cracks, but I didn’t realize they’d go this far.

And I’m not sure what the end game is with this! All I know is I’m not on board with Wackner sending people to prison (except as a plot—I am very on board with this plot) and neither is Marissa.

I do not think viewers of the reality show will like the prison twist or the fact that Cord is financing a court and prison! Can you imagine the scandal!

And what do the contracts look like that allow Wackner to sentence someone to prison? Can LCK2 leave any time he wants? If so, then how does the prison sentence help? If not, is that legal?

Del wants it to be a 2 week sentence, not 3, because this means LCK2 will have to miss his taping in two weeks. I have many questions. (1) Is Wackner’s show airing live? If not, then why do they need to rush the taping of the special? They could push it quite easily. (2) Why can’t they push the taping? This guy is a huge deal and enough potential $$ that Del wants to rehabilitate his career... so why does the taping have to be on this particular day and time?

Is there really an Exxon Mobile case, I wonder?

I like that we spend a good amount of time watching Marissa’s reactions to this latest addition to Wackner’s court. Combined with the score, Marissa’s facial expression serves to underline that private prisons are not good here! This isn’t Wackner getting legitimate methods of enforcement... this is just opening a pandora’s box of highly questionable extrajudicial practices.

I do love that this episode ends up here: it starts out like it’s going to be about cancel culture silliness and ends up being about the escalation of Wackner’s tactics.

Funny how both of the cancelled people end up being found guilty by Wackner, huh! Almost like they actually did something wrong and faced the consequences!

Liz and Diane get called in to talk to Liz’s favorite department: HR. They’re asked to sign “love contracts” to confirm things are consensual. I find it hilarious that HR gives them the paper before even asking if it’s true.

Liz grabs a pen and signs. Diane follows her lead. They look at each other and smile politely at HR.

I am... not sure how to read this last scene! Is it a fuck-you to HR? A way of easing tensions? A way for Liz to get people to stop talking to her about removing Diane as name partner because no one will want to ask if they’re really involved? Something else? Help me understand!

Curious to see where things go next. I can see LCK2 coming back for another episode but it also wouldn’t surprise me to never see him again. Similarly, I could see some glances/discussion of Diane and Liz’s romantic relationship next week, or I could see it never being mentioned again, or I could see it being mentioned next season out of the blue.

#tgf thoughts #the good fight

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guiltyidealist · 3 years ago

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op has me blocked but it’s an important post so I’m reposting the text

I see a lot of people saying they “would never date a transgender person” and accusing several well-meaning trans people (who are ill-equipped to explain why that’s transphobic) of perpetuating ideas born from rape culture.

since I’m sick of seeing the same conversations with all the same pitfalls, here’s why saying things like “I’d never date a trans person” is harmful and bigoted:

you can’t always tell who is and isn’t trans just by looking at them. we all know that “date” is used in the previous statement as shorthand for “be into/attracted to,” as in “I’m not into/attracted to any transgender people, even if they identify as a gender I’m capable of feeling attraction towards.” attraction (typically) relies on a combination of personality traits and visible physical features, and unless you live in a nudist colony, you won’t have any idea what someone’s genitals look like at first sight, much less which binary gender they were assigned at birth. but once again, you can’t tell someone’s gender (let alone “”biological sex””) just by looking at them. you might think that all trans people have some sort of “tell” or “giveaway”, like an adam’s apple or lack thereof, but that simply isn’t the case, ESPECIALLY when you take gender-reaffirming hormone treatments and surgeries into account. sorry, but you won’t be able to tell the difference between a trans person who passes in every way and a cis person who hasn’t altered their body. you think you know what our voices sound like, that our “true gender” is betrayed by the shape of our skull or the curves of our hips, but you don’t.

finding masculine women and feminine men less attractive than masculine men and feminine women isn’t the same thing as finding trans people less attractive than cis people. shockingly enough, there are a LOT of feminine cisgender men and masculine cisgender women. if you don’t find short hair attractive on women, that’s fine! same with long hair on men–that’s just part of an aesthetic preference. the problem lies with making the assumption that all trans women are “obviously too masculine” and all trans men are “obviously too feminine”. once again, you usually won’t be able to tell who’s trans on sight. many violent hate crimes against trans people only occur because someone *wasn’t* able to clock us on sight, only to find out we’re trans later and feel disgusted and ashamed for ever being attracted to us. it’s okay to find certain physical features that you associate with one extreme presentation or the other less attractive than others, as long as you’re well aware of how racism and colorism factor into “personal preferences” too.

just because you know the gender someone was assigned at birth doesn’t mean you know how sex with them would functionally work. now, this isn’t to say you’re ~morally obligated~ to have or even consider having sex with someone when you don’t want to. all I’m pointing out is that many people jump to the conclusion that all trans women have penises and all trans men have vaginas, when that’s just not true. many of us have had (or will at some point have) bottom surgery, which renders our genitalia virtually indistinguishable from “the real deal.” witty little clapbacks like “don’t expect me to suck your girldick” and “I don’t want your boypussy” are pretty common in discourse, but given that not all trans people keep the genitals we’re born with, they only serve as a reminder of how uneducated people are when it comes to our bodies.

trans people know better than anyone how traumatizing the threat of sexual assault can be. like many modern day cisgender sexual predators, transgender sexual predators tend to target vulnerable people in online spaces. as a trans person who was repeatedly sexually assaulted by another trans person, I can testify that it’s much easier for predators to privately win someone’s trust from a distance and get them alone in a socially acceptable manner rather than brazenly attempting an assault in full view of other people. the chances of a transgender sexual predator going into public bathrooms and attacking their victims in broad daylight are slim to none, especially given how many people are already trying to deny trans people human rights based on the unfounded fear that ALL trans people are “too dangerous” to be allowed in public bathrooms. but contrary to popular belief, we’re much more likely to be sexually assaulted ourselves, and usually by cisgender men. (you know, that one large demographic with an alarmingly high rate of turning out sexual predators.)

it costs $0.00 to stay in your lane. if you personally find some random trans person unattractive, cool! keep it to yourself. we don’t need “friendly reminders” that you’d never want to date or have sex with us; trust me, we know. it’s rare that I go a day without being reminded of how grotesque and repulsive my body is to cis people, there’s really no need to pour salt in the wound.

thanks for coming to my TED talk, don’t be an obtuse piece of shit in the replies.

#transphobia #transmisogyny #intersexism #t3rf rhetoric #reg rhetoric #genital preferences #genitals tw #nsfw/

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pawprintsmoon · 4 years ago

Text

You and me, Part III

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30337365/chapters/74893146#workskin

The proposal

After a shower and clean pajamas, Alex finished packing his suitcase, tucking the ring safely inside. The next morning, he was so focused on not losing it again that he ended up misplacing his coffee filled travel mug. He had put it down for one second, and suddenly it was nowhere to be seen. Henry found it in minutes and they left for the airport. Distracted beyond reason, Alex had to hop out of the car to race back inside to grab his wallet. Then he had to hop out of the car again to run inside and get his phone.

After speeding to the JFK airport, they crossed the Atlantic and spent one night in Kensington recovering from jet lag. They spent their first full day at a trans* equity conference. The English press greeted their visiting prince with union jacks and rainbows. Naturally, they responded with charming comments and smiling photos. Alex took the opportunity to livestream a message to his followers: ‘of course transgender high schoolers should be allowed on the sports team that aligns with their gender, and here’s why…’

Privately, in the car back to the palace, Henry expressed the opinion that public schools ought to have polo teams, because it’s a coed sport and ideal for nonbinary teens who don’t like to rock the boat. Alex responded with similar sentiments about quidditch. The rest of the drive they shared a familiar rant about how Harry Potter belongs to the fans (including the trans* fans) and not only to JKR.

That night, just past 2am, Alex turned over in bed to ask, “You awake?”

“Always.”

“Good. We’re going on a fieldtrip. Come on.” Alex pulled them both out of bed, and they got dressed, Alex swinging on his Gucci jacket. He would have worn a hoodie, the incognito uniform of the internationally recognizable, but tonight he didn’t want to hide himself. It was worth the risk. Besides, they didn’t really need to sneak around anymore, did they? Old habits.

He led them out of the palace, down Prince Consort Road. He stopped for a selfie with the sign, because he really had wanted to last time. A second selfie included them both, looking goofy and not caring. When they reached the back entrance of the Victoria and Albert Museum, they kissed lazily against the wall. Once Henry’s lips melted Alex’s nerves, he drew back to take the next step.

“Thing about dating the prince,” he said, holding up keys, “is that you can borrow pretty much anything he owns. And he can get the keys to anywhere if he asks nicely.”

“You’re a thief,” snarked Henry, walking through the door that Alex held open for him. “And a knave, and a scoundrel.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Alex gave the security guard a wad of cash. “Thanks, Gavin. It’ll be Renaissance City.”

They walked past sculptures, artifacts, and paintings, surrounded by the history that they were a part of. They got to the piazza, Henry’s sacred place. Just like last time, the first statue, Samson Slaying a Philistine took away what little breath Alex had, and he had to lean on Henry for support. Like windswept magnets, their lips met, for no reason at all.

Most of the time, Alex had a strong sense of Henry and himself being part of the current moment of history, changing the world in the here and now. But right then, time seemed to melt, and they were surrounded by historical sculptures telling timeless stories. Zephyr the Greek god of the west wind, Proserpina in the underworld, and Jason and his golden fleece. Archetypical and expansive.

And then there was Henry: the national gay landmark, prince charming, an obtuse fucking asshole. Hopefully his future husband. Sticking with his plan, he pulled away from Henry and got out his phone to open Spotify. Taking a deep breath, he pressed play. “Your Song” came from the tinny speakers.

“It’s a little bit funny, these feelings inside. I’m not one of those who can easily hide.”

“Why am I getting deja vu?” Henry asked, as Alex wrapped his arms around Henry’s waist.

“No clue.”

They began to sway, slow and intimate, cheek to cheek. He recognized the swelling in his chest as the same ache he’d felt when Henry first played this song for him years ago in the music parlor. Back then, he’d been trying so hard to repress his love for Henry, gripping the settee and wondering how long they would fly across the world to touch each other without talking about it. Now they let love dance around them, unbridled and openly declared in front of the world.

Other memories stirred up unbidden. Henry ghosting him after their first kiss, leaving him out in the snow and questioning everything. And then again when Alex hinted at love, leaving him in the lake with his heart carved out. Twice is not a pattern though, is it. Ever since the last time they were in this museum together, Henry had given his entire self to Alex. He had decided to be with Alex for real that night. That had been when they decided to love each other on purpose.

“I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words. How wonderful life is, now you’re in the world.”

For several beats of silence, he just looked at Henry. And Henry looked at him, and the museum disappeared. The whole world faded away except Henry and himself. It was now. He knelt down to one knee slowly, never losing eye contact. Henry’s loving smile showed no surprise as Alex spoke.

“Henry George Edward James Fox-Mounchristen-Windsor,” he said, making Henry roll his eyes. “I have a question to ask you. You see, my mom asked me, back in our early days, if I felt forever about you. I knew it then, and I know it now. I want to spend my life with you. So... ”

He paused, reached into his jacket, and pulled out the bedazzled box, rhinestones spelling out ‘love.’ Henry had probably guessed that it was never intended for June’s earrings, because he laughed like the box was an inside joke. Despite knowing what was coming, he inhaled audibly when Alex opened the box to reveal a simple silver ring.

“Will you marry me?”

Henry laughed again, a laugh like the birds of sunrise. “Yes, Alex. I will marry you.”

The prince reached into his pocket and pulled out a small leather box, the same size as the one Alex held. Then, he knelt down on one knee as well, mirroring his fiancé. He opened it to reveal a thick antique gold ring inlaid with a gem that Alex couldn’t identify. Beautiful. “Alex Claremont-Diaz, will you spend forever with me as your partner, confidant, and best friend?”

“I,” Alex choked, “yeah, fuck, of course-”

Henry cut him off with a swift and passionate kiss, both of them on their knees, fumbling the engagement rings onto their fingers. Alex felt like the deceased king that had probably worn his engagement ring. They kissed until their knees grew sore, and they collapsed on the tile.

“How did you think to bring a ring and everything?”

“Believe it or not, I somehow predicted that you might do this,” Henry teased.

Their buzzing bodies urged them to get back to the palace, to Henry’s room, to the bed. So they pulled each other to their feet, both dizzy and desperate. Before leaving the piazza they held each other for just a little longer.

“I love you,” whispered Henry.

“Fuck, I know you do.” It’s an amazing thing, to know completely and utterly that somebody loves you. “I love you too.”

“I know.” Henry held him around the waist and their foreheads pressed together. “Hey, so, I know we’re going to have to have a big, gay, traditional, royal wedding and all that -”

“Which we’ll make fun!” Alex said, with the positivity of a camp counselor. The world could really benefit from a big, gay, royal wedding. “There will be so many rainbows, even only if the crowd brings them.”

“And we’ll definitely have an adequate number of champagne fountains.” Henry winked at him. “But you interrupted-”

“Sorry!”

“-me. I was saying that I know we’re doing the public wedding for the audience, and the press, but...” Suddenly Henry looked nervous. “Well, would you maybe want to…”

“Spit it out babe,” Alex kissed Henry lightly on the lips before pulling back to show that Henry had his entire attention. “I’m listening, for real.”

“Would you, would you maybe want to elope first?”

“I… um. Would we, you know, still do the royal wedding afterwards?” Alex asked. “Keep it a secret?”

“Well, yes.” The words tumbled out. “But it would be a secret that we’re keeping for ourselves. We wouldn’t be keeping a secret for an election, or family expectations, or our god damned publicists. It would be ours, and we would keep it because we want to.

“Because I want to keep you to myself, just a little bit.” Henry shrugged, sheepish. “You give so much of yourself to your country, to the world, and I love that about you, but I want this to be just us. I’d be open to inviting Bea, Pez, June, and Nora, and our parents too, if you want.”

“And honestly, I don’t really want there to be a minister or priest… maybe Pez could do it?” Henry continued. “It doesn’t even have to be legal, so people don’t find out. I don’t know, I just thought, it could be just us, making a promise. Not with the crown, not with the church, not with all your adoring fans. Just the people that really matter.”

“I…” A grin spread slowly across Alex’s face. “I love it. Yes. Hell yes. Where? Not Vegas. Paris?”

“Paris.” Relief sweetened Henry’s smile. “And I could play my vows for you on the piano, if you’d like.”

“Yes I’d like! We could do it on a sailboat with a captain! Can you bring a piano on a sailboat?” Henry shook his head and kissed Alex’s grin, nuzzling their noses together. Alex whispered, “Okay, I’ll slow down and we can figure it out together. You and me.”

“You and me.” They fell into each other, a blissful act of entropy, all lips and hands.

“Besides,” Alex said as they stopped to catch their breath. “Secrets can be kind of hot if I remember correctly.”

AN: So, I thought I'd end with the proposal, but I feel like there's maybe more here? Like, this scene was kinda building up to some 'just got engaged' smut, or it could go on to show their elopement. I'm feeling a tinsy bit uninspired for their vows though, so if any of y'all feel like writing those, I could insert to the rest of the marriage scene that could be fun. If anyone feels like doing the post-proposal smut (or the wedding night smut lol) lemme know! Otherwise, thank you for reading! Check out my other rwrb fics, if you feel like it :)

#you and me #part 3 #first prince #rwrb #proposal story #henry fox mountchristen windsor #alex claremont diaz #red white and royal blue

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longbttm · 4 years ago

Text

𝑭𝑹𝑨𝑵𝑲 𝑳𝑶𝑵𝑮𝑩𝑶𝑻𝑻𝑶𝑴.

Is that FRANK LONGBOTTOM we can see entering the Ministry of Magic? Our records tell us that they were born on APRIL 7TH and are a TWENTY-TWO year old, PUREBLOOD who currently works as a AUROR. Some have said that they can be described as being CONFIDENT, LOYAL & SOCIABLE, however, they also see themselves as being IMPETUOUS, OBTUSE & STUBBORN. Apparently, HE look(s) a lot like ARIA SHAHGHASEMI, whoever that is, and if they had to pick a side in the war, they would choose to JOIN THE ORDER.

hi, hey, hello ! it’s autumn again, bringing you my second child, frank ! reformed careless idiot ( now just an idiot ) & currently fighting the #Himbos4SocialJustice fight. like emma’s intro, give this a like & i’ll find you for plots <3

trigger warnings for: sibling death, grief, hints of depression.

note: this is a sideblog to @vahnity so im’s, follows & likes come from there.

𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑪𝑺.

full name: franklin camran jamsheed longbottom.

name origin: while his first and last name are typical english, his middle names are not, signifying his mother’s influence. “franklin” — free man, “camran” — meaning succesful in it’s old persian roots, “jamsheed” — meaning sun’s rays, or light.

nickname(s): frank, world’s #1 alice fortescue stan.

birthdate: april 4th, making him an aries sun & sagittarius moon.

gender & pronouns: identifies as a cis man and uses he/him.

sexuality: bisexual, biromantic.

positives: confident, loyal, sociable.

neutrals: passionate, mercurial, rebellious.

negatives: impetuous, stubborn, obtuse.

occupation: junior auror, trainee at the ministry.

education: hogwarts, gryffindor house.

current residence: tba.

𝑨𝑭𝑭𝑰𝑳𝑰𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺.

mother: augusta longbottom ( née shafiq ).

father: horace longbottom.

siblings: cecil longbottom †, delia longbottom.

family: the longbottom family, the shafiq family.

extended family: likely some shafiq cousins.

relationship status: engaged to alice fortescue, love of his life.

allegiance: order of the phoenix, formerly neutral.

𝑴𝑨𝑮𝑰𝑪𝑨𝑳 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑭𝑰𝑳𝑬.

patronus: the buffalo, likely due to his stubborn nature.

boggart: being the only one left alive while the dead bodies of his loved ones lay around him, a look of disappointment permanent on their faces.

wand type: holly wood, horned serpent horn core, 9″, springy.

amortentia: the smell of lotus flowers, like the ones in his grandmother’s garden, freshly baked apple pie, and the smell of alice’s perfume.

𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲𝑺𝑻𝑶𝑹𝒀.

the third child of augusta & horace longbottom, frank was raised with all the comfort and privilege of the wizarding world’s upper-middle class. his father head of the ministry’s goblin liaison office, his mother having a seat on the wizengamot, and the longbottom name’s place in the sacred twenty-eight caused them to be a well-respected family. they stayed out of the pureblood supremacy discussions and held a tolerant view, but didn’t exactly speak on that view either. they were rich enough to enjoy a comfortable lifestyle, but didn’t even come close to competing with the generational wealth of the upper echelons families. simply, the longbottom’s enjoyed a place in the wizarding world where they were often just left alone, unless they chose to step in a different direction themselves. frank, the baby of the family, grew up without much want or ambition. his parents provided whatever he needed, he wasn’t a big brain like his older siblings, so high educational goals were never even a thought, and with the family’s lack of involvement in wizarding world political issues, he did not care much for those either. frank always figured he’d probably land a cozy ministry job, or, if he really tried his best, a decent position on a quidditch team somewhere.

frank made a couple of mistakes along the years. fell in with the wrong crowds solely by association or lack of care, and frequently did not even care to stand up for those being hurt by said wrong crowd — no matter that he felt guilt about it. the sorting hat had doubted between gryffindor and hufflepuff for frank, and he frequently wondered why it had settled on the former. neutrality felt like frank’s safeguard, no one bothered him, and he did the same in return. regardless, he wasn’t exactly disliked around school either. a decent quidditch player and all around chill guy, frank’s smile and sense of confidence and ease was contagious. it wasn’t until his eldest brother joined the auror’s office and started saying some choice words about pureblood supremacists that frank ever even felt actual dislike against him. cecil was always the more passionate one, he deeply cared about others — and would always fight to protect those in need. frank was frequently questioned if he shared his brother’s feelings, but met those with a careless shrug, though whenever he arrived home, cecil always received an earful on how he was affecting frank’s popularity at school. but near the end of frank’s seventh year, tragedy struck the longbottom family, and everything changed.

cecil was a little too good at his job, he’d caused a little too much trouble for those who opposed him, and so, the death eaters moved to capture and kill frank’s older brother. no school, no job, and a household filled with nothing but grief, frank fell into a pretty deep darkness — despite his blasé attitude, he cared for his brother, and his death had brought him anger. cecil had only wanted to make the world a better place, and he was killed for it. frank was without purpose for a while, until a member of the order of the phoenix & friend of cecil approached him and offered not just a chance to avenge his brother, but the chance to save others from this fate as well. it took him a while, but the order was good for him — and there was a fire to him now. to improve himself and find a source of income, frank signed up for the auror academy when he turned nineteen, and has been working ever since. he’s never been the brightest in the bunch, but frank’s found his courage in the auror’s office, his creativity and bold approach to things often surprising others. it was there he also met alice, and her presence in his life has been one of the comforting things he’s ever experienced. frank is climbing upwards in the world, somewhat naively unaware that the higher he gets, the harder it will be if he falls.

𝑾𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑫.

former friends: frank used to care very little about the political ins and outs of the wizarding world, and fell in with a bad crowd more often than not. since the death of his brother, frank’s made a sharp turn from neutrality and a lack of care to a staunch order supporter and auror. i have no doubts that there were some in his former circle of friends that did not take this well, and who currently have a very antagonistic relationship with frank, bordering on hatred.

mentor / colleague: despite his passion, bold approach and creative ideas, frank is still very fresh to the auror gig and this type of fighting in general. he’s also got the tendency to rush into things head first, without thinking things through. big gryffindor energy from him, but it could use some sharpening from a mentor-like figure.

tentative friendships / suspicion: frank is committed to his work at the order and the auror’s office, both to honor his brother and because he’s sat still too long. he feels like he has to prove something, and therefore is… somewhat eager in his work. considering his past and former friends, i’d love to see some people that actually distrust him and are trying to feel out if he’s not just a double agent ( and likely will find out fast enough that he doesn’t have enough braincells for such a feat ).

first impressions, struggling to adjust: like i mentioned in his backstory, frank used to lack care for others. likely let things slide that got other people hurt, solely because he was scared of what would happen if he didn’t ( not so big gryffindor energy here ). it would be interesting to see someone who did feel the sting of frank’s former carelessness, and who he is currently trying to find a better ground with & to atone for the hurt he didn’t stop.

other: co-workers, enemies, ex-somethings, former crushes, childhood friends, new friends, first love, neighbors ( current residence tba ), confidante, enemies turned friends, ( distant ) cousins.

#ministry task001 #* ╱ 𝐅 . 𝐋 . : 𝚁𝙴 › introspection.#like emma's i wrote this one pre-acceptance so it is subject to changes !

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chibimyumi · 5 years ago

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Forgive me for being ignorant, but I’ve always been scared about asking this question because it’s 2020 and I should be aware by now- but what does trans mean? If you’re a trans-boy does that make you a boy that’s transitioning to a girl? Or a girl that’s transitioning to a boy? Every time I look it up I seem to be getting a different answer. And how does sexuality fit in? I hope I’m not being offensive... I just never learned and haven’t had the courage to ask anyone until now.

Dear Anon,

Please don’t worry, people are not BORN with knowledge. It is something other people might benefit from remembering too ^^ I can tell you ask the question in good faith, and I am flattered that you thought that I could give you trustworthy information.

The question you have is a very simple and yet complicated question, so PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR SIMPLIFYING THINGS DOWN LIKE THIS.

1. What are gender, sexuality and sex?

Let us first look at this question using a pizza. Dough is one thing, cheese is another, and so is tomato. Together they make up a pizza. But what makes the dough ‘dough’, has nothing to do with the cheese.

Cheese NOT on a pizza is still cheese, and the fact that it is cheese is likewise NOT determined by whether the tomato is there or not. All these things are “individual things” that are the “ingredients that make up a pizza”.

This may seem bullshit talk, but this just serves as a metaphor to understand how different things exist on their own, but are indispensable in making up another ‘combination’. (Smart-asses out there, don’t pretend to be smart by being willfully obtuse or pedantic for now, please.)

Now let us look at gender, sexuality and sex, wherein gender is the dough, sexuality the tomato, and sex the cheese.

In humans too, gender, sexuality and sex are three different ‘key ingredients’ that shape the basis of who we are (the margarita pizza. Only later we add the toppings like olives, meat, or pineapples (which are kinks! Not for everyone, but much beloved by its lovers.))

In a human too, just like dough, tomato and cheese, ‘gender’, ‘sexuality’ and ‘sex’ exist separately, and do NOT determine the ‘nature’ of the others.

Step 1. There are 3 primary questions to ask.

Q1a: What is your gender? Who do you identify as? Do you identify as man, woman, otherwise, or different genders depending on the day?

Q1b: What type of person are you interested in romantically and/or sexually? Men? Women? Both? All genders that exist? Or are you not romantically/sexually interested at all? (There are too many different sexualities, so I shall leave it at this for now.)

Q1c: What ‘sex’, or with what primary genitals were you born with? Upon birth, doctors see our genitals and label ‘boy’ or ‘girl’ on us depending on what genitals they see. Some children are born with ‘intersexed’ characteristics. And depending on the doctor again, someone is then labeled ‘boy’ or ‘girl’ again. (This too is a topic for another time.)

Step 2. In order to understand what ‘transgender’ is, let us look at Q2. “Combine the answers from Q1a and Q1c. Do you identify as the ‘sex’ your doctors assigned to you at birth?

Hypothesis: Let’s say you were born with a vagina, and your doctor therefore assigned you to be ‘a girl’. Are you comfortable with being a girl/woman, and do you feel that correctly reflects your identity too?

Yes. ➡You are probably ‘cis-gender‘.

No. ➡ This is a VERY broad thing here, but most crudely, if you feel like being labeled ‘girl’ because you were born with a vagina does not reflect who you really are, and you identify as ‘man’, ‘something else’ or ‘also something else’, you are probably ‘trans-gender’.

Bonus: If you identify as ‘otherwise’ or specifically as ‘neither man or woman’, this is usually called ‘non-binary’. If you feel like you are sometimes one gender, and sometimes another, that is usually called ‘gender-fluid’. “Non-binary” and “gender-fluids” are two of the many options that fall under the umbrella of ‘transgender’ too.

2. Simulation through ‘Black Butler’

I have selected Nina Hopkins as our first example because she is one of the few character from whom we know their gender identity, AND have one clear established gender she is romantically/sexually interested in.

Q1a: Honestly... Nina can’t shut up about how proud she is to be a woman.

Q1b: Given how antagonistic she is towards men and how she fondles women... she probably likes women.

Q1c: For metaphor’s sake we shall assume she was born with a vagina. So her birth was probably announced with the words “it’s a baby girl!”

GENDER: Nina is proud to be a woman, and seemingly happy to be assigned as such. Therefore she is a cis-gender woman (or cis-woman).

SEXUALITY: Who someone is sexually/romantically interested in is by NO means determined by your sex or gender. So Nina’s sexuality is an altogether separate category. The only part that has SOME role is ‘gender’, but ONLY in the ‘name’ that someone gets. Namely: Nina identifies as ‘woman’. Nina likes ‘women’. A woman who likes women is ‘a lesbian’. Hence, Nina is a cis-gender lesbian.

PIZZA: The pizza identity of Nina is probably a pissaladière. Caramelised onions, anchovies, garlic and olives? Strong flavour to the point of choking, not for everyone, but VERY beloved by its lovers.

Now let us look at Grell, a character who is surrounded by many controversies, even though she is arguably one of the least gender ambiguous characters in the Kuroverse XD. Unlike for Nina, questions Q1a to c can easily be filled in without too much hypothesising.

Q1a: Grell has said multiple times in the manga that she identifies as woman.

Q1b: Grell likes MOSTLY men with potentially some rare exceptions (Madam Red???).

Q1c: Grell was born with a penis and assigned to be ‘male at birth’.

GENDER: We see that Grell was ‘assigned male at birth’, but is uncomfortable identifying and living as a man. Rather, she constantly calls and presents herself as a woman. Hence, Grell is a transgender woman. (Dear Anon. Yes, we call somebody by their ‘preferred gender’, not their ‘originally assigned gender’. Let’s just say that Grell for example would never let anybody call her a ‘trans-man’. The thing of coming out as transgender is partially to ‘break away from your ‘assigned’ gender and living as your ‘discovered true gender’.)

SEXUALITY: We don’t know for certain whether Grell was romantically interested in Madam Red, but we do know for sure that she is 99% of the time interested in men. Grell identifies as woman. A woman who likes MOSTLY men, but maybe very occasionally other genders, is probably bisexual or pansexual. Hence, Grell is a trans-gender bi-/pansexual woman.

PIZZA: Grell’s pizza identity is indisputably PIZZA HAWAII. Fight me. Endless controversies and debates about FUCKING PINEAPPLES!! Not for everyone either, but people who love this pizza will defend it TO THEIR GRAVES!

Sebastian.... is a whole different can of worms, cockroaches and tarantula spiders... BUT SINCE I HAVE OPENED IT BEFORE ANYWAY, LET’S OPEN THIS AGAIN!

In this post I have touched upon how we cannot be sure Sebastian is ‘male’, much less assume he has a gender to begin with. But there are no characters in this series that are confirmed to be neither man or woman, let us use Sebastian just to add to our simulation test here.

Q1a: Sebastian has said that “he is nothing, but can become anyone.”

Q1b: N.A.

Q1c: The genitals he was born with was probably ‘black goop miasma’, but in his current human form he probably concocted a penis.

GENDER: Eerm... he is ‘masculine presenting’, FOR NOW... but as Sebas has also said that “he is nothing and can be anyone”, and can take the shape of even a table... I’d say it’d be unreasonable to assume he identifies as a gender we know of. Gender, after all, is a purely human construct. (Click here for more details on gender and human society.) Hence, IF according to human standards, then Sebas would be non-binary and/or gender-fluid. As discussed above, these two fall under the ‘transgender’ umbrella.

SEXUALITY: So far in the series we have only met 1. humans, towards whom he has not shown any romantic or sexual interest (and as humans are cattle to Sebastian, this is very understandable), and 2. reapers, towards whom Sebas has also not shown any romantic/sexual interest (and since all these reapers are actively after his blood, that is quite logical too.)

“What about Ciel???” Short answer: LOL. Click here and here for the full answer.

“What about Beast?” Short answer: Nope. Click here for the full answer.

PIZZA: The pizza identity of Sebas is CLEARLY a quattro formaggi. Someone as cheesy as him can only be a quattro formaggi.

Welp... I guess that’s the most schematically simplified version I can give on gender, sexuality and sex for now... I hope this helps?

For more, please use this masterpost on gender in Kuroshitsuji.

BONUS ROUND!!

What is YOUR Pizza identity? Let me know which pizza you are and why (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧🍕

#Gender #transgender #LGBTQ #Grell sutcliff #Grelle Sutcliff #genderstudies #Sebastian michaelis #Nina Hopkins #Pizza identity #Pizza identity is IMPORTANT #theory

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werevulvi · 5 years ago

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I'm going back to labeling myself a trans man, and it's not just for practical reasons. Let’s dive into that for a moment.

Well, first off, I don't want to medically detransition, as it turns out. I explored that option upon recovering from my past traumas and cleaning up my internalised misogyny, 2 years ago, but ultimately I'm still dysphoric about my sex, and feel... I dunno, spiritually soothed, perhaps, by continuing looking like a man, and I wish to go back to living socially as a man as well. I don't hate being female, not at all. It's wonderful to be of the female sex, and I can appreciate it now, but only on the condition that I get to look physically masculine and pass as male. That's my aesthetic, and it's my literal appearance. So I'm embracing that too.

However, I don't feel good trying to force myself into the social role of womanhood, what "woman" means to almost everyone I meet in my day to day life. That social expectation of me to look a certain way, act a certain way, want certain things, dislike other things, and so on. That is what I need to take a step away from. People seem to be incapable of respecting transition choices the moment I call myself a woman, which hurts. I understand that 99% of my social dysphoria is literally just wanting to escape misogyny, but so what? That's just common sense, to wanna escape/avoid misogyny when being female. Don't blame me (or any other female) for wanting to get away from that. Blame men.

Genderwise though... I don't know what even is "gender" but for me, I'd say it's a strong inner desire to live as male and look like a man with male sex characteristics - or in blunt wording for those of you who are wilfully obtuse around here: a wish to immitate maleness and live as a fake man. Clear enough? I hope so. I don't "feel male" or anything dumb like that. I just wanna look as if I'm male and let others believe that's what I am, which comes with no effort at this point in my transition. I just exist as I am, and people read me as male. And I love just existing, comfortably like that. Not shaving, or monitoring my voice, or anything.

And by "living as a man" I mean talk about myself as a (trans) man, going by a male name (whenever I decide for one, although I have a suggestion in mind, however I will keep my original female names as middle names), telling my friends and family that I'd wish to go by he/him pronouns again, and just... kinda ride on that sorta wave. I don't mean acting some kinda role of stereotypical masculinity or forcing my ass into male only spaces. Except for bathrooms, for what should be obvious practical reasons, considering my appearance. I'd rather be an illusion among men then than freak women out. I still prefer gender neutral bathrooms whenever I can access them, but that's not always an option. Such is life.

I feel good simply thinking of myself as a man, even though I know I'm not literally male, and don't particularly want to be anymore. I'm transmale, and that's what I want to be, so it makes sense to call myself a trans man then. It calms and soothes me to just allow those feelings to exist within me, and nurturing them. As soon as I did, a feeling of relief snuck up on me, and a couple of days ago it hit me very strongly. Somehow I became a trans man in denial at 9 years into my transition. Because that's how much I hate being trans and wish I wasn't. But I've always known that's not something I can beat out of myself. Yet, that's exactly what I tried to do. I don't know how that happened, but I need to stop suppressing how much I want to live as a man. Which isn't a bad thing to do. I cannot believe that's bad when I no longer hate or try to escape my femaleness.

Because I wanna be openly trans and hold onto my lesbian label. Because I'm still a homosexual female, no matter what I call my gender, and that is an important aspect of me. I only have the capacity to be attracted to people of my own bio sex, including other trans men. My girlfriend is also a lesbian, and honestly I love her for that (among many other things, of course.) I know that she's attracted to me because I'm female and have a pussy, and I'm totally fine with that. I'm gonna keep my pussy (no SRS ever), I'm not dysphoric about it anymore, and I love that she loves it too. It makes sex so much better, lol.

I feel honoured being the only 'man' my girlfriend could love. It's not at all "invalidating" that she's not into bio men, because I honour my female sex in my own ways, and I wouldn't want to be loved for something I am not. I'm proudly female and FtM, embracing both those aspects of my transitioned body and my trans life. Although I still need to work more on accepting myself for being trans, it's getting better fast by just being very kind to myself and allowing myself to feel.

I'd say I'm a bit of a cusper between femme lesbian and trans man, as odd as that may seem.

I wish I could be a butch, because I look up to butches a lot, but honestly? I'd rather date them, and I only feel natural being on the receiving end of chivalry, so I'm a natural femme. Being both feminine and sex dysphoric is and has always been very confusing and difficult for me, but it doesn't have to be. I can just be a feminine, lesbian trans man and not give a shit. Because why not? (Truscum, don't even bother answering that question, it's rhetorical.) So yes, I happily encourage my girlfriend to hold onto her lesbian label as well. We are a lesbian couple for as long as we're together, and I want for us to stay that way. But yes, we are also straight-passing, which I quite like.

Because of reconnecting with my transsexualism, I will (when I get the energy to) unfollow radfem blogs that lack basic respect for transitioned people (I may bypass the occasional misgendering as well as some trolling, but calling trans people gross and mutilated is not okay and I've thoroughly had enough of it) and try to clean up what I reblog in the future. I'm still gender critical and radfem, but not that ass-deep in it anymore.

Also, if any other radfem/gender critical FtM's just so happen to stumble upon this, I'd love to hear from you if you have any advice on how to balance being radfem/GC with being trans. I may be an idiot, but I've been fumbling in the dark about this and shooting myself in my own feet for far too long. I still barely even know how it's possible to be both trans and GC, lol. Basically how to gender without gender?

#ftm #trans man #radfem #gender critical #former detrans #actually dysphoric #lesbian #ftm lesbian #cusper #i just wanna be true to myself #and live as happily as i can with my dysphoria

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avengerscompound · 6 years ago

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The Tower: Unexpected - 9

The Tower: Unexpected An Avengers Fanfic

Series Masterlist Previous //

Pairing: Avengers x ofc, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)

Word Count: 2223

Warnings: pregnancy, body image, smut (vaginal sex, pregnancy sex)

Synopsis: A little over 2 years after moving into the Avengers Tower, Elly finds herself pregnant against the odds. While some are excited, others are terrified, and pregnancy that none expected to happen causes rifts through the group and threatens to end the relationship.

Author’s Note: Written with the very salty-sweet @fanficwriter013

Chapter 9: Bucky

My next doctor's appointment involved doing a fasting blood glucose test at the start. Which meant I had to go right in before breakfast and drink a bottle of glucose drink and then wait an hour. Wanda, Sam, Nat, and Clint came with me this time and we were waiting around in the medbay waiting room, just messing about while the hour ticked down.

As the hour approached the doors opened and in strolled Bucky, sans cybernetic prosthesis. “Did I miss it? Tony was being Tony.”

I looked up at him in shock. I blinked and shook my head trying to see if I was having some weird kind of hallucination. I hadn’t seen him in over four months. It was crazy that he would just show up so casually with his arm removed. “I... what ... You... Did you do something to your hair?”

He looked at me deadpan. “Yes, but I also... Clint told me that Tony could take the arm off. And now I'm here. Sorry.”

I looked from Bucky to Clint and then back again. “You just took your arm off? Just like that?”

“Yes?” Bucky said like I was being obtuse. “It was why I wasn't here. Why wouldn't I get rid of it?”

“I don't know. It was your arm.” I said with a shrug. I didn’t know if I wanted to be angry at him for not thinking about it sooner or just relieved that he had figured it out now and it meant he could be here.

“No.” He said firmly. “That was never my arm. That was the arm they gave me. That was the arm they forced me to have. It was never mine.”

I got up and moved to him wrapping my arms around him and stroking his hair. “I'm glad you figured something out.”

“Well, it was your idea.”

I pulled back and looked up at him. “Does this mean we can share a bed alone now?”

He smiled softly and nodded. “I think that would be okay.”

“You aren't too late,” I said, kissing his cheek. “Just doing the blood glucose thing and being bored.”

“Oh, good,” Bucky said, sounding relieved and a little excited. “Clint told me we find out what they are today.”

“Yeah. Hopefully. If they play along.” I said pulling him back over to take a seat.

Bucky made a pained whine sound. “Okay.”

“What was that?”

“If they play along. They’re our kids.”

I laughed and leaned against him. “You think they won’t? Maybe if they don't we'll know they're Tony's.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Yeah, because any kid of Clint’s would ever play along.”

“If one of them seems to slip and smack into the other one, then we'll know it's Clint's.” I teased.

“Hey!” Clint protested. “I’m right here!”

“Clint! One time you went to walk over the bed, got your foot wrapped in the covers and launched yourself so far you ended up doing a forward roll into the bathroom.”

“With grace,” Clint said.

Doctor Schroeder stepped out of the examination room and looked over our group. “Okay, Elly if you want to come and get your blood drawn we can get to the good stuff.”

I went in alone and she took blood and while I got comfortable on the examination table she went and got the others. They grouped around the table, all trying to get in a position where they both could touch me, not be in the way and see the screen. It wasn’t entirely successful but they did their best.

“Are we all ready?” Doctor Schroeder said as she squirted the gel on my stomach.

“Yes, hurry up!” Wanda said.

I started giggling and squeezed her hand.

“Well, someone is excited.” Doctor Schroeder said and began moving the wand around on my stomach. The babies were visible right away and they looked more like babies now than they ever had. She did some measurements. “We’re finding the genders right?”

“Yes! Hurry!” Wanda said sounding frustrated as she stared up at the screen.

Doctor Schroeder broke down in laughter. “Okay, okay. Keep your pants on.” She moved the wand around some more and pointed at the vague shape on the screen. “See that little shape there.”

“Is that …?” Bucky started.

“His wiener?” Clint finished.

Doctor Schroeder chuckled. “Yes, baby number one is a boy.”

“Pietro,” I said, grinning at Wanda. She smiled and leaned over and kissed me.

She moved the wand around some more and after some uncomfortable pushing against my stomach, she found what she wanted. “That little hamburger shape there, that means baby number two is a girl.”

“One of each,” Bucky said, looking up at the screen and tapping his hand on my forearm.

“Riley and Pietro,” I said.

“Okay, everything looks fine. We'll run the blood tests. Were there any other questions?” The doctor said.

“No,” Wanda said, speaking for all of us.

She wiped off my stomach and started putting the equipment away. “Okay, in the next few weeks the kicks should be hard enough for others to feel. If there's nothing else, I'll let you go and see you in 4 weeks.”

“How long will the tests take?” Clint asked.

“Mister Stark has rushes on everything. We'll know this afternoon. I’ll email them to Elly. Otherwise, you’re all good to go.” She said.

“Thank you,” I said, pulling my pants back up and heading out to the elevator. “One of each,” I said as we stepped inside.

“Both,” Wanda confirmed, putting her hands on my stomach.

“Little Riley and Pietro,” I said. “We need to think of middle names.”

“Middle names?” Clint asked.

“Yeah, you know?” I said. “Like how yours is Francis?”

“Oh right.”

“You wanna know something weird? So is mine.” I said patting Clint’s forearm.

“It is not,” Clint said.

“Yes, it is. Elise Frances Cooper. Spelled different. Like the country owns me.”

Bucky snorted. “Well, Elly the Cooper that belongs to France. You’re a dork.”

“I know, I love you too,” I say. “God, we have so much to do. We still don’t even have a place to put them.”

“I’m working on it. Tony’s actually planning things. I promise.” Clint said.

“Does he even know it’s twins?” I asked and Clint shook his head. “When did you find out, Buck?”

“Not until Clint came to talk to me about the arm,” Bucky said. “Steve didn’t think I’d be able to handle it.”

I frowned and nodded. “I wonder if Bruce knows. Like, is Hulk passing him on information. We should go see Hulk and tell him.”

The elevator paused and changed directions. “You need to chill out, El. Your brain is going a mile a minute.” Sam said.

“I can’t help it. I haven’t even bought maternity clothes. These are just the stretchiest sweatpants I own.” I said.

“I’ll take you shopping, sweetie,” Wanda said. “It’s okay.”

The doors opened onto Bruce’s floor and we went down to his apartment and let ourselves in. Hulk jumped up from where he was sitting and rushed over.

“Elly. You see babies?” He asked.

“We sure did, big guy,” I said as he put his large hand on my stomach.

“Tell Hulk.” He said in his deep rumble.

“One of each. Boy and a girl.” I said.

A broad grin broke out on his face and he clapped his hands. “Hulk happy. Want to meet babies.”

“Yeah, me too, big guy,” I said. “Can we sit?”

“Sit.” He grunted. We all took seats on the couches and Wanda went to make tea.

“Alright, you better come here and cuddle me, Buck. You have a lot to make up for. I need to hear how sorry you are for abandoning me.” I said as I took a seat next to Hulk.

“I had nightmares about choking you or the babies.” He said as he moved next to me.

“Yeah? Did you? I had nightmares about smothering them. Them falling apart in my hands. Of them being run over. Of dropping them. It’s nice you got the choice to run from it though. Would have been nice to get some time to deal with that without the morning sickness and physical exhaustion of being pregnant.”

He wrapped his arm around me and I moved in against his chest. “I am sorry, El.”

“I missed you,” I said as I rested my head against his chest.

“I’m here now.” He whispered. “I’ll be here.”

“I forgive you. I'm glad you're here. And now completely armless... Get it?” I teased. He looked at me deadpan and I started to giggle. “Armless, get it? Because you were scared of hurting us and now you're armless?” The look changed but was still extremely serious. The kind of look that might scare someone else. “Armless… harmless… get it Bucky?”

He cracked and started laughing. “You are such a dork.”

“There we go. Got there in the end.” I said, leaning up and kissing him.

// NEXT

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jbuffyangel · 6 years ago

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Undeserved Forgiveness: Arrow 7x18 Review (Lost Canary)

After seven years and 150 episodes (yes, I math’d it) Arrow has finally paid off a L*urel L*ance storyline in a way that makes sense and feels earned.

Let’s dig in…

Olicity

Sometimes the Arrow writers are so obtuse about their audience it boggles my mind. Then there are other times when they are so self aware I can’t help but laugh. “Lost Canary” is one of those self aware moment. It’s almost as if the writers said to themselves, “Okay. This episode is gonna be a lot about birds so we better give the audience some Olicity goodies to keep them happy.”

Smart move.

Arrow has to ship the boys off somewhere in order to have their all girls episode. Rene is off with Zoe on a school field trip while Oliver and Diggle try to find the person who killed Emiko’s mother, so they can convince her not to be evil. Or something? I think? It boils down to a interrogation of a Longbow Hunter. Yeah, remember the Longbow Hunters? Who knew they were still a thing? Not me.

It’s kind of fantastic all the guys are stuck with monumentally crappy storylines while the ladies have their moment in the sun. Ah the gloriousness of reversing gender roles.

Anywho, Oliver is going to leave Felicity which means WE GET WORRIED DADDY!

Oliver begs Felicity to take it easy.

Pffft, it’s like he’s never watched Arrow before. Dude, know your genre.

Felicity promises she’s going Netflix and chill. Oh girl, you totes just jinxed it.

And then it happens. Oliver rubs his stomach and says...

Source: olicitygifs

April 15, 2019 will hence forth be known as Precious Cargo Day in the Olicity fandom. We shall drink and sing in merriment while binge watching Olicity moments in celebration of this blessed day. For this is the day fan fiction came to life.

We’re five minutes and twelve seconds into this episode and I already think it’s fantastic.

After Oliver returns from his Longbow Hunter thing (Seriously don’t ask me what happened)

and Felicity returns from saving a soul and giving Earth 2 a hero to fight for them, our wonderfully stable and unproblematic married couple cuddle on the couch. Honestly, I don’t understand why Olicity snuggling and watching Netflix isn’t a hit show? It’s Emmy award winning entertainment.

Source: olicitygifs

Felicity was away from Oliver for a day and she practically ran into her husband’s arms, so I really don’t know how homegirl is gonna do twenty years without him. It hurts to think about, so let’s focus on the happy.

Source: olicitygifs

Oliver wants to order whatever Felicity is craving because he’s determined to be fictional perfection so no one can have realistic expectations of non fictional men. Felicity informs him L*urel is going back to Earth 2. He doesn’t care. I cannot describe to you how much Oliver Queen doesn’t care about any version of L*urel L*ance.

Once again I reflect upon the road we have traveled my friends. I don’t know how we got here, but our destination is glorious.

Worried Daddy is far more concerned that Felicity didn’t take it easy as she promised, but no worries the Green Arrow is here!

Oliver promises to take care of Felicity and then promptly falls asleep on her shoulder because he’s so exhausted.

Yup, that pretty much sums up the first trimester right there. You’re pregnant but you’re husband is the exhausted one.

She finagles a foot rub out of half asleep Oliver and they both collapse. MAX DOMESTICITY ACHIEVED.

Source: olicitygifs

Honestly, the show could have ended right here. I’d be thrilled.

Felicity Smoak and Canary Corp.

Yes, that’s the official title of the episode. Don’t @ me. Arrow has tried this Birds of Prey thing before. Remember Helena, L*urel and Sara in Season 2? Yeah, neither do I and why? BECAUSE IT DIDN’T HAVE FELICITY IN IT. Too bitter?

The Felicity Smoak/Oracle similarities were not lost on the Arrow writers and it’s clear they tried to adopt the moniker for our girl’s codename, but were shot down by the DC brass. Overwatch it is then and, as usual when it comes to Felicity Smoak and Emily Bett Rickards, she has made it her own.

This is Emily’s last season and therefore Arrow’s last chance to do a Birds of Prey themed episode with Felicity Smoak at the helm. Boy, they did not waste the opportunity. Thank goodness too because that would have been a real bummer.

“Lost Canary” is full on girl power. Arrow has many female characters, but the storylines are dominated by the men. It’s not a shocker. The main character is male. The writing staff I believe has been male dominated until a shake up this season. That’s not to say the male writers haven’t crafted a fantastic show with some amazing female characters – Felicity Smoak being at the top of the list. However, this show is long over due for the spotlight to shine on the female characters, actresses and writers.

Representation means hearing the voices of the marginalized, but “Lost Canary” is not simply Arrow ticking a box. Nor did the writers pad the episode with trite and insulting dialogue like...

(I will forever side eye The Flush for that one.)

No, “Lost Canary” is steeped in big life questions as it addresses the season theme of redemption head on. Each character has her own perspective on Bl*ck S*ren and redemption as a whole. Each character is given ample screen time to voice her perspective as the women debate the best way to handle Bl*ck S*ren’s recent downward spiral… or perhaps it’s a stagnant upward spiral. The point is the women are written like the multi faceted characters they are. WOULD WONDERS EVER CEASE?

Let the redemption debate commence.

Source: dcmultiverse

Bl*ck S*ren is back in the evil business. See, you can tell because of the all leather, black lipstick, cloak, tacky techno music and the sashay walk KC ripped off from Nina Dobrev.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

This is what I like to call an “Everything but the kitchen sink” visual trope. Oh hell, the kitchen sink was there too.

Bl*ck S*ren chucks the three piece power suits, with the shoulder pads that can fly her to Hong Kong, in favor of a more diabolical ensemble to convey her inner turmoil. The subtext is pretty much text. Arrow hammering away at it should be a monumentally huge tip off for where Bl*ck S*ren’s character is going.

The surprise isn’t so much where Arrow is going with this character, but rather in how they get there.

Admittedly, I struggled with E1 L*urel L*ance. I couldn’t stand her romance with Oliver, couldn’t keep up with her flip flopping personality, grew tired of her blaming everyone but herself, couldn’t forgive her for Tommy, hated her disdainful treatment of Felicity, and found her to be a insufferable pain in the ass, which she compounded by becoming a drunken, insufferable pain in the ass.

Whew. Season 1 and Season 2 were rough.

I had one bright and shining hope for this character – her Bl*ck C*nary storyline. It was a colossal disappointment.

Not even my deep love for the Lance sisters could save my investment in L*urel and I was overjoyed when Arrow killed her. It remains one of the best creative decisions this show ever made.

Regardless of the reasons for KC’s return (and there are reasons my friends), the writers smartly chose not to resurrect L*urel.

No need to bring back that mess. Instead, they started over with some doppelganger hijinks and crafted Evil L*urel aka Bl*ck S*ren from Earth 2.

It turns out Evil L*urel is a hell of a lot more fun than Saint L*urel. The character plays to KC’s acting strengths and she didn’t impede on Dinah Drake’s storyline as Bl*ck C*nary. Well, not much.

But the dramatic linchpin in Bl*ck S*ren’s character is that she’s not L*urel. Yes, she looks and sounds like the L*urel L*ance Team Arrow loved and lost, but no amount of time would ever make this woman into a replica of the one who died. This is a good thing because the woman Oliver Queen dedicated that ridiculous statue to was a hindrance to the story.

L*urel’s Season 6 arc was infuriating primarily because they reduced a meta human to a helpless victim. The writers shredded Quentin Lance’s character as he pursued his deeply unhealthy obsession with resurrecting his dead daughter through an entirely different human being. Let us never speak of it again.

Season 7 is a vast improvement. The good/evil push/pull remains the dramatic well the writers drink from, but instead of cramming old L*urel down Bl*ck S*ren’s throat they allowed her character to breathe. The fact she was different from L*urel is what made her interesting. Arrow didn’t run from it. They embraced it. And they paired her with an unlikely partner.

Felicity Smoak.

Bl*ck S*ren’s willingness to cross lines, including murder, was a necessary evil because Felicity’s husband was trapped inside the system. She needed help from someone with access and who wouldn’t be afraid to go over the line to get the job done. Suddenly, being evil doppelganger playing pretend lawyer was massive pro.

Bl*ck S*ren’s a sardonic wit and glowering demeanor made the perfect straight woman to Felicity Smoak’s ball of sunshine.

Except, Felicity wasn’t a ball of sunshine and more often than not L*urel was stopping her from going too far.

The two women worked in tandem as they questioned their morality and what defines good and evil. The ebb and flow of light and dark allowed Felicity and L*urel to see each other differently.

This sparked understanding, respect and finally compassion. Their interactions felt more honest than anything that transpired between E1 L*urel and Felicity and as a result their friendship was more believable.

I’ve enjoyed the good/evil/push/pull dynamic that’s made up the majority of Bl*ck S*ren’s arc this season because it was fairly even handed. When L*urel tipped too far in one direction they would shift her the other way. Every time L*urel helped Felicity with Oliver’s case or pulled her back from the ledge, she would follow it up with almost murdering someone.

Bl*ck S*ren’s instinct in almost any given scenario was to kill first and ask questions later. It flew in the face of the straight laced, law abiding DA image she cultivated by stealing E1 L*urel L*ance’s identity. The writers did this deliberately because everything that made Bl*ck S*ren “evil” is still there even as she tried emulating Quentin Lance’s dearly departed L*urel.

But eventually the writers need to pick a lane. Arrow has two choices – keep Bl*ck S*ren evil or redeem her. It’s kind of a like a love triangle. You can play with the back and forth for awhile, but eventually the writers need to make a decision. Otherwise the story loses any emotional authenticity.

The real shock of “Lost Canary” is how the writers present both sides of the argument. It’s so fair and logical. A L*urel L*ance centric episode is making sense. Talk about feeling like a fish out of water.

Dinah and Felicity are diametrically opposed when it comes to who Bl*ck S*ren is and if she can be redeemed. The argument boils down to nature versus nurture, but how Felicity and Dinah arrive at their individual conclusion fits not only within the scope of their own storylines, but within L*urel’s as well.

Dinah is nature. She firmly believes L*urel is an irredeemable killer and all efforts to save her are for naught because a killer is who she is. Dinah issues a warrant for L*urel’s arrest and believes she killed Diaz. I’ve been loudly advocating for some jail time for L*urel, but I didn’t really expect Arrow to go there. I’m not that lucky. A warrant for her arrest and L*urel on the run is close enough.

It’s understandable why Dinah believes Bl*ck S*ren is a lost cause. She witnessed her boyfriend’s murder at L*urel’s hand and a tearful apology doesn’t erase what happened.

Dinah has also been there any time L*urel has decided to murder someone, typically out of frustration, anger or to protect her own self interests. She would pull L*urel back from the ledge, but it’s difficult for her to believe BS was ever on the wagon when she so frequently fell off it.

Dinah is not wrong. L*urel is a murderer. Murder is L*urel’s default position whenever the going is rough, which is exactly what is happening now. Yes, L*urel is wrongly accused of murder, but let us not forget all the murders she did commit and has yet to pay for. Dinah didn’t love Bl*ck S*ren’s approach when it came to interrogating criminals, but the answer to these problems is not a crime spree.

Felicity is nurture. In the beginning, Felicity did not see Bl*ck S*ren as anything but criminal pretending to be her dead friend. She emotionally manipulated people and was reaping all the benefits of E1 L*urel’s life.

But the hubby was in the slammer and Felicity needed a lawyer, fake or real it didn’t matter. Desperate times call for desperate measures. L*urel was one of the only people to have Felicity’s back and their partnership grew into real friendship. Felicity has been the beneficiary of L*urel’s kindness and love, so she knows without a doubt there is good but it needs to be encouraged.

Felicity is so ardent in her belief that she bizarrely blames herself for L*urel’s crime spree because she wasn’t a good enough friend.

Let’s just pretend that’s true for a second (even though it’s not). The max penalty Felicity could incur would be paying for drinks some night. But L*urel tries to blow up Felicity and HER BABY. I feel safe categorizing that as an insane overreaction.

The truth is Felicity has been an amazing friend to L*urel and she continues to be throughout the episode. She proves to Dinah that L*urel has been framed by Emiko for Diaz’s murder. Felicity offers L*urel her support even after she goes on a crime spree.

L*urel: Oliver’s sister did me a favor because I was really sick and tired of pretending to be someone I’m not. Plus, no one believed it any way.

Felicity: I did! Look, what happened to you wasn’t fair. You were accused of murder, you lost your job, Dinah didn’t have your back I get it. You got a bucket load of bad news, but you are not Bl*ck S*ren. Not anymore.

L*urel: That’s funny I used to believe that too.

Felicity: Think of the good you’ve done L*urel. Think of honoring Quentin!

L*urel: Quentin is dead. Nobody cares about Quentin. He only wanted his daughter back.

Felicity: That is not true.

Well… far be it from me to disagree with my Queen but it is kind of true. This is a wonderfully impassioned speech even if I don’t agree with all of Felicity’s arguments. Sadly L*urel pretty much spits in Felicity’s face and is generally undeserving of all this support and understanding.

Felicity and Dinah have it out after L*urel tries to blow them up. Felicity continues to blame herself for this Bl*ck S*ren spiral whereas Dinah is firmly entrenched in the “Bl*ck S*ren Is a Murderer” camp. Felicity calls Dinah out on her hypocrisy when she boasts in a fit of moral superiority that she could have gone down the same road as L*urel, but didn’t.

Felicity accurately points out that the reason Dinah didn’t go down the same road was because she had the team. Dinah had friends who loved and supported her even when she didn’t deserve it.

Felicity ain’t wrong! I forgot Dinah is a murderer too. Yes, there is a big difference between murdering bad people versus murdering good people, but it doesn’t change the fact that Dinah has also taken lives.

While we’re on the subject on Vinnie, she also lied to the team about her relationship with him

and went on a crazy revenge bender after Bl*ck S*ren murdered him.

Dinah was in the Newbie tantrum up to her elbows, which included assaulting OTA when they refused to hand over Bl*ck S*ren.

Dinah was forgiven for all of these transgressions and welcomed back to the team with open arms without even apologizing. Now she’s the captain of the police force and a deputized vigilante. All of which would have never happened without Oliver Queen and Team Arrow.

Dinah was forgiven when she didn’t deserve it.

It was the second chance she needed to become someone who is deserving of that forgiveness.

(We can argue the semantics of whether or not Dinah really has become someone worthy of Oliver and Felicity’s love and trust another day. For the sake of this episode let’s just roll with it.)

Dinah continues to argue that even if all of that is true (WHICH IT IS HONEYCAKES) it doesn’t apply to L*urel because she doesn’t want a second chance. She never did. Felicity pushes back once again and argues the opposite. She thinks L*urel wants a second chance more than anyone else and didn’t realize it until it was already gone.

WOW. What a scene. It’s so invigorating to see two female characters argue passionately about something that has nothing to do with a man. This debate is about friendship, faith and forgiveness. It’s about the true meaning of redemption, who deserves it, and who decides who deserves it. Felicity and Dinah are arguing about their fundamental beliefs and challenging one another’s morality.

Source: hollandrooden

Dinah gave L*urel a chance and she blew it, so enough is enough. Felicity feels L*urel was succeeding at that second chance until she was wrongly accused. Sometimes people need several chances to get it right. I completely understand both Dinah and Felicity’s positions, which is how you know it’s a great storyline. If you can see both sides of the coin then the writers are mining drama with serious depth.

Both women are right and both are wrong. We’ve been exploring Bl*ck S*ren’s redemption since Season 5, but “Lost Canary” feels like the first honest conversation being had about it. I understand Dinah’s frustration because they are my frustrations.

I do not believe throwing on a three piece suit, playing lawyer, living someone else’s life and enjoying all the benefits someone else earned qualifies as redemption. Pretending to be E1 L*urel L*ance has protected Bl*ck S*ren from facing justice for any of her crimes. While I appreciate she’s helped put criminals away, freed Oliver Queen, and is a good friend to Felicity Smoak, it does not even out the cosmic scales when compared to the evil she has committed.

Bl*ck S*ren is a murderer. She was coddled by Quentin Lance because she looks like his dead daughter. Felicity reaches out again and again and Bl*ck S*ren continually rejects her love, support and forgiveness. I’ve watched Bl*ck S*ren time and again head out to murder someone as a solution to whatever problem she’s trying to solve. I’ve watched both Dinah and Felicity stop L*urel from committing those murders.

L*urel stopped because she was caught – not because she thinks murder is wrong. She doesn’t express remorse for wanting to kill someone either. She typically has a snippy remark for Dinah and Felicity as she slinks away from the scene of her premeditated murder.

Unfortunately, the writers are treating Bl*ck S*ren’s penchant to murder the same as E1 L*urel’s alcoholism. Felicity and Dinah tell Bl*ck S*ren to put down the drink and convince her to stay on the wagon. But we aren’t talking about booze. Bl*ck S*ren’s addiction is killing people. NOT. THE. SAME. THING. I get it, Dinah. Trust me.

Then there’s Felicity Smoak. She sees the best in Bl*ck S*ren even when she’s at her worst. Primarily because Bl*ck S*ren saw Felicity at her worst and pulled her back from the brink.

Felicity is not a killer because Bl*ck S*ren offered her hope. So, it’s understandable why Felicity refuses to abandon her friend especially now.

But that’s not all of it. Sure, BS was a good friend to Felicity, but that’s not why she is standing by her. The truth is Felicity Smoak is a really good person. She is intensely compassionate, loyal and supportive. Felicity sees the best in people and her ability to pull that light from those she loves is unparalleled. Nearly every character in the Arrowverse has benefited from Felicity’s steadfast encouragement.

I know this aspect of the character often frustrates some people. Some believe Felicity is used to prop up other characters. Her character suffers because she’s constantly launching another superhero.

The fastest way to cultivate a positive fan response to a new character is to filter that character through Felicity Smoak. She represents the audience opinions more often than not. Her popularity has a way of spilling over to problematic characters and it casts them in a more positive light. I don’t deny Arrow employs this practice often.

But I never saw it as a negative. Felicity is the believer. It’s what I love most about her. Diggle is the mind (moral compass) and Oliver is the soul, but Felicity is the heart. She is the hero of heroes.

L*urel L*ance was a wildly problematic character. The writers never quite knew what to do with her and they could never really settle on a personality with a defined set of characteristics.

We never knew what version of L*urel we were going to get week to week.

The writers struggled with her even more after rerouting the central romance away from Laurel to Felicity. Her storylines never seemed to get the necessary focus they required even though it felt like we spent an inordinate amount of time on L*urel. Watching Arrow develop her character was a lot like running in place, as @callistawolf once said.

Her messy history with Oliver also seemed to be the elephant in the room when it came to any friendship with Felicity. There’s never any discussion around the events of the Season 2 finale. Felicity wondered if Oliver’s “I love you” was real and I’m sure L*urel had some questions too.

Did she think it was all a ruse to save her life or did she simply accept that Oliver was really in love with Felicity? It seems like the latter although it’s never actually addressed. If there was any confusion on L*urel’s part I guess 3x01 cleared it up because the only thing on Oliver’s mind was Felicity Megan Smoak.

Arrow likes to pretend L*uriver never happened and it is completely understandable. It’s a bad dream we’d all like to forget,

but L*urel’s central connection to the team remained an ex boyfriend she didn’t like very much. I appreciate the show wanting to define a relationship between Felicity and L*urel outside of Oliver, but ignoring L*urel’s romantic history with him didn’t feel very honest.

Perhaps their friendship would have been more believable if the writers set aside time for L*urel and Felicity to bond outside of Team Arrow, but they didn’t. L*urel just shows up in the foundry and starts barking orders.

Even Felicity questioned their relationship status. Girl, same. They had moments of kindness, but we never saw them work as partners or enjoy each other as friends like Felicity and Bl*ck S*ren.

In fact, one of the most common arguments against L*urel being in the grave was that Felicity would never be that upset because she wasn’t that close to L*urel. HA! A lot of L*urel’s character was built upon telling rather than showing and her friendship with Felicity is one of the many areas the writers made that very frequent mistake.

The writers did not make that same mistake with Bl*ck S*ren. They gave her friendship with Felicity time to develop. They started off as enemies, but as circumstances evolved so did their relationship.

Bizarrely, this is why Bl*ck S*ren’s and Felicity’s friendship feels more honest and earned than anything Felicity had with E1 L*urel L*ance. Bl*ck S*ren’s connection to Team Arrow is through Felicity. She has absolutely nothing to do with Oliver Queen and IT’S FANTASTIC.

The writers tried to connect L*urel through Oliver for four years, but he was never the solution. Felicity is.

Felicity is the solution because she has a big bandwidth when it comes to forgiveness. No one has benefited more from it than Oliver Queen. Murder isn’t a deal breaker for Felicity. She fell in love with Oliver when he was dropping bodies. She barely blinked at Sara’s assassin history. Diggle murdered his own brother and I don’t think Felicity even commented on it. Remember when Roy thought he killed Sara? Who did he tell first? Felicity. She was freaked but calm. Dinah was a murderer and Felicity welcomed her onto the team with open arms. Rene pulled a gun on her and it was totally cool. I mean, sweet mother of Moses she was friends with Curtis Holt and tolerated his mansplaining and misogynistic bullshit, which says it all.

So is it really a shock Felicity is ride or die when it comes to Bl*ck S*ren? No. I identify with Dinah’s frustrations, but recognize Felicity is on the higher road. Simply put, Felicity Smoak is a better person than me. The belief she is giving Bl*ck S*ren is no different than the belief she gave to Oliver or Sara.

So, she’s challenging me as well. I cannot cheer Felicity on when she offers unconditional love to Oliver or Sara or John, but admonish her when she offers the same to L*urel L*ance. Sara was an assassin and I didn’t demand a prison sentence for her.

That said, I see one massive difference between Bl*ck S*ren and Oliver Queen. Oliver was remorseful about his past and crippled with guilt. He didn’t need additional punishment because he was already punishing himself enough. Oliver also spent five years in hell, lost nearly everyone he’s ever loved and is constantly sacrificing his happiness for the greater good.

His redemptive journey is wildly different from Bl*ck S*ren’s. Oliver didn’t get to just toss on a nice suit and call it a day. And he killed bad people!!! So, I maybe I can’t hold Bl*ck S*ren to a higher standard than other characters I love, but I can damn well hold her to the same standard.

So, is L*urel remorseful?

We don’t have to pick between Felicity and Dinah because it is possible to hold L*urel accountable and be compassionate. This is where Sara comes in.

Source: canarygifs

I have been incredibly frustrated with how Arrow has used Sara in the past when she’s come back as a guest star. I’m still ticked she didn’t get a goodbye scene with Quentin. The Sara I know on Legends isn’t always the same on Arrow, but “Lost Canary” is different. The writers give Sara her due and she reflects on her journey in a way she’s been allowed to before.

Everyone knows I’m a huge Lance sisters fan. The one saving grace in L*urel’s Season 2 storyline was when it stopped being about her relationship with Oliver and she began to focus on repairing her relationship with Sara.

I bought into the Bl*ck C*nary storyline in Season 3 because I believed Sara’s death was a life altering catalytic event for L*urel. “The Calm” remains my favorite L*urel L*ance episode and I will always believe Sara is her great love and vice versus. We all need something or someone to live for and that love doesn’t always have to be romantic in nature.

So, Sara coming back to town to protect her sister’s good name and offer some wisdom to Bl*ck S*ren made a lot of sense to me. Sara is the one who pieces together that maybe failing to kill Felicity and Dinah wasn’t a mistake after all. She uses her sisterly intuition and finds Bl*ck S*ren at Quentin’s grave.

Source: canarygifs

Sara gives it to L*urel straight in an EPIC speech. She owns all her past mistakes. Sara cheated with her sister’s boyfriend, let her family believe she was dead and then became an assassin.

Yuuuup. Sara Lance history sure is colorful! Each one of these errors in judgment is an unforgivable offense. And yet, L*urel found a way to forgive Sara. Well, after she blamed her for absolutely everything that went wrong in her and boozed her way through the liquor cabinet, but let’s not get bogged down in the details.

This remains my favorite Lance sister scene of all time because L*urel does not go to Sara offering forgiveness. No, L*urel comes to Sara begging for forgiveness. Despite everything she’d done and everything she suffered, Sara survived whereas L*urel was crippled by her pain. These two women found their way out of the dark together. Sara’s forgiveness put L*urel on a path to sobriety. L*urel’s forgiveness put Sara on a path to heroism. Neither of them truly deserved forgiveness for what they had done, but that’s not the point of forgiveness is it?

It was L*urel’s love, not Oliver’s that gave Sara the second chance she needed. Maybe Sara didn’t deserve forgiveness when L*urel gave it, but it sparked the beginning of her journey towards someone who did. Sara is the Original Canary, the captain of a time traveling superhero squad and the one and ONLY White Canary. She offers the wisdom of her life experience to help Bl*ck S*ren.

Source: canarygifs

She also calls Bl*ck S*ren out on her bullshit. She tried to be a hero for six months. TRYING? SIX MONTHS? She thinks that evens the score for years and years of mayhem, theft and murder?

We’re supposed to feel sorry for BS after she’s spent six months living in a comfortable apartment and getting paid well to do a job she didn’t earn.

Great, she helped Oliver out of prison. She also tried to kill him multiple times, so they aren’t exactly equal yet. When Sara tried to quit the murder business a lethal team of assassins came after her and she had to commit suicide to get them to leave her alone. But L*urel knows the horror of the Balmain double breasted, wool blend jacket. Poor baby.

I forgot she was accused of working with Diaz and lost her job. Yeah, except she did work with Diaz and SHE IS NOT A LAWYER SO SHE SHOULD LOSE HER JOB.

Then there’s being falsely accused of Diaz’s murder. Hmmm… who killed Vinnie again? L*urel being falsely accused of ONE murder compared to the multiple homicides she has committed and has yet to pay for in any real or substantial way does not equate. Yet, here she is with a stick up her ass and expecting everyone to feel sorry for her. You know, I take it back. She really is like E1 L*urel sometimes.

Sara explains what real redemption is and it is my favorite line of the episode.

Source: canarygifs

She’s right. Redemption is not a light switch that can be flipped on. L*urel can’t do a couple nice things and say, “TA DA! I AM REDEEMED!” It’s not how it works. There’s no endgame here. This is something L*urel needs work at for the rest of her life. She needs to fight every day to be a person worthy of forgiveness. When L*urel falls down, or life doesn’t go her way, she can’t throw an evil temper tantrum.

A real hero isn’t looking for a reward. A real hero doesn’t look for someone else to blame. A real hero doesn’t keep score. A real hero sacrifices and fights the good fight because it is the right thing to do. Does Bl*ck S*ren qualify?

No. She is not a hero yet. She is undeserving of the love, compassion and forgiveness Sara and Felicity are offering her.

But we all are undeserving of forgiveness. We are all broken in some way. We all do or say hurtful things. Each of us will either do something unforgivable or feel like we’ve done something unforgivable. What makes the difference in our life is having someone who loves us despite our sins.

We can see the people who have been loved when they are unlovable and those who have not when we look at the landscape of humanity. Sometimes we need a push in the right direction when we are at a crossroads, but not all of us have someone in our life who loves us enough to give one. The ones who do are blessed.

Bl*ck S*ren’s sins are deeply evil. She has dug herself a very large, dark hole. L*urel stopped Felicity from falling down the same hole because she knows there’s nothing but pain, emptiness and loneliness at the bottom. She knows how to stop someone from falling in, but L*urel does not know how to climb out. Bl*ck S*ren is stuck in a self destructive cycle. Felicity fundamentally believes every human being is redeemable if they want redemption, but some need more of a push than others.

The truth is we all need help out of the darkness. We all need someone to love us unconditionally. We all need someone reach down into the hole and offer a hand. But our redemption remains in our hands. It’s not enough for someone to reach out. We have to reach back.

All the evil hijinks boil down to a faceoff with Bl*ck S*ren and Felicity. Felicity tells BS one last time she believes in her, but ultimately it’s not about what she believes. It’s not about L*urel L*ance’s legacy or who Quentin wanted BS to be. This is about who Bl*ck S*ren wants to be. Free will my friends. It is a bitch.

COME ON! Nobody is killing Felicity Smoak least of all Bl*ck S*ren. L*urel is picking out china patterns in her head, so she ain’t killin’ bae. She joins Felicity and the rest of the birds and together they defeat the villain of the week. Sorry I really didn’t pay much attention to the partner.

Source: smoaktechs

In their victory celebration, Dinah decides not to arrest Bl*ck S*ren and even comes up with a get out of jail free card excuse aka “working undercover.” A relieved Felicity tells L*urel that everything can go back to normal.

But L*urel disagrees. It is time to stop running. It is time to stop pretending to be someone she’s not. It’s time to go back to Earth 2. She has to made amends in the place where she created so much pain. I. AM. SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No, it’s not a stint in the pokey, but I WILL TAKE IT. Going back to Earth 2 is the next best thing. It addresses my primary problem with L*urel’s redemptive arc and that is pretending to be someone she’s not. Being Earth 1 L*urel L*ance protected Bl*ck S*ren from all the damage she caused on Earth 2. If she really wants a shot at redemption then she has to go back to the place where everyone knows her as Bl*ck S*ren. Earth 2 is where L*urel will be forced to confront everything she’s done and accept responsibility for it. There’s no hiding, running or easy outs on Earth 2. That is the place where an honest redemptive arc can begin.

Felicity understands and gives her a parting gift – E1 L*urel’s Bl*ck C*nary suit.

Source: nyssaalghl

It’s a beautiful full circle moment. I don’t make the rules! Felicity anoints the superheroes, assigns the names and hands out the couture! If she says L*urel should be Bl*ck C*nary on Earth 2 then L*urel is going to be Bl*ck C*nary on Earth 2. Fine with me!

L*urel meets Sara once more at Quentin’s grave. Her story always comes back to Sara no matter what version of L*urel it is. Felicity was the push, but Sara’s words lit the spark. She launched L*urel L*ance’s hero’s journey once again. Cuz see the light?!!!!

Source: canarygifs

This scene also feels like a goodbye to the Lance family. Quentin is gone, L*urel is dead, Sara is off hero-ing through time, and Bl*ck S*ren is returning to Earth 2. This isn’t the end of L*urel’s redemptive journey. It’s the beginning. But it is the first time I believe she might deserve it someday.

Source: nyssaalghl

FLASH FORWARD TIME!

Dinah created the Canary Network to be a support system for women, so someone always had their back. It’s a reminder to Dinah of what she failed to give Bl*ck S*ren once. It’s a whole conglomerate of leather clad ladies supporting ladies! LOOOOOOVE IT!

There is no singular Bl*ck C*nary. No one woman holds the title. It fulfills L*urel L*ance’s dying wish in a way she couldn’t even imagine at the time, which is why it is so fitting.

Unfortunately, Galaxy One massacres the network in “Lost Canary” and Dinah loses fifteen of her girls. It’s a devastating loss for Dinah, but I couldn’t help but cackle a little. Arrow never misses an opportunity to throw a little petty at the LL fandom. Oh you’re made we killed once Bl*ck C*nary? Watch us kill fifteen! How do you like them apples?!

Dinah, Felicity and Zoe want to lay low and regroup after such a big hit, but Mia is fired up and ready for pay back.

Source: amunetblack

Dinah tries to convince her to wait for the surviving canaries to fight back when the time is right, but Mia defiantly says...

Source: amunetblack

It’s like they tailor made her for us fandom. Mia Smoak is perfection on every level.

Dinah calls in some back up to keep an eye on Mia.

L*urel.

She saves Mia from some Galaxy One goons. Unfortunately, the horror show of a wig is back, but let us pray there are less buckles on the suit. The lipstick has changed from black to red so serious upgrade in that department.

Source: dcmultiverse

It’s a beautifully symbolic moment because L*urel saves Mia in an alley where a body of a dead canary is lying. It’s the same kind of alley where Sara fell to her death and launched L*urel’s Bl*ck C*nary journey.

It’s the same kind of alley where L*urel’s journey was foreshadowed in the pilot,

but with a significant change. L*urel is no longer connected to the man in the story, but to the women. Sara, L*urel, Felicity, Dinah, Bl*ck S*ren, Zoe and Mia all weave together in one beautiful thread. Bl*ck C*nary no longer belongs to one woman. It belongs to all of them.

The beauty of this is I don’t have to sit through another half baked Bl*ck C*nary storyline for L*urel. I trust she’s earned the suit on E2. Even better she’s still Bl*ck S*ren. This isn’t 2.0 of E1 L*urel L*nce. Hopefully, all the snarky wit, aptitude for zingers and glowering that made me fall in love with BS remains. I just needed her to stop murdering people. That’s all. All of this means I might finally have a version of L*urel L*nce that I can enjoy.

L*urel gives Mia some wisdom that screams THERE IS GOING TO BE A SPIN OFF,

but what I loved most is L*urel is still trying every day to prove she is a hero.

Redemption is a journey and not a destination. And undeserved forgiveness is often the beginning of that journey. Nobody knows that better than L*urel L*ance.

Stray Thoughts

#Fact. Source: felicitysmoakgifs

Bl*ck S*ren pretending to be L*urel acts somewhat normal. She ratchets up the cheese factor when she's Bl*ck S*ren. I forgot about that.

Emily is having an A+ hair season. Really it's like a Vidal Sassoon commercial every week.

This made me emotional. Source: olicitygifs

"Let's just call her a genius and leave it at that." Hubby is so proud of bae.

Bl*ck S*ren versus White Canary is like a heavy weight boxer fighting a chipmunk.

Felicity and Sara flirting is everything I didn’t know I need. The love triangle was centered on the wrong person in Season 2. It should have been Felicity and not Oliver. Source: ebett

Yup. We all knew. Source: felicitysmoakgifs

“Felicity Smoak is killing people now." Sara is my spirit animal.

Sara has seniority Dinah. It should've been you sitting it out. Respect your elder. Source: canarygifs

The great evil of this episode is the grommet sweater. We must protect the actresses from this atrocity because it's spreading.

This was cute. Source: hollandrooden

Sara has a baby on Earth 2? I NEED THE NAME. WHERE ARE PICTURES?

Don’t tell me L*urel is not in love with Felicity. I know my truth. Source: hollandrooden

Spit my drink out when Sara said this because it’s ridiculous. That said, Arrow continually painting Laurel as a saint is a constant reminder they are never bringing her back. the more Arrow paints Laurel as saint. Source: danverskara

Was it snowing in the future? What was up with the weather?

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me. 7x18 gifs credited.

The *** in names is so the review doesn’t show up in the tag.

If you’d like to support the blog, please buy me a cup of tea!

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poppytheorist · 5 years ago

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American Kids

1. I had “American Kids” on the August list. Sorry for the delay, “I was busy,” “better late than never,” etc. Already straying from my schedule, looks like September is off to a great start! Also, this one’s both dense and obtuse, my bad. Anywho, here are some words:

2. As is typical, let’s gush first: “American Kids” is easily the most thematically interesting song on Bubblebath. The production is also the tightest. I mean, do you hear this instrumental? You know what? I’m just gonna say it: “American Kids” is the best song on Bubblebath.

3. If you take some time to look at the lyrics, you’ll see that “American Kids” is actually a super weird song. Half the lines seem like their own random tangents, so it’s left up to listeners to piece everything together themselves.

4. When listeners are challenged to consider the connections between seemingly unconnected ideas, they are forced out of worn ruts and must instead open themselves up to possible associations they had never considered. Poppy challenges listeners this way all the time.

5. Genius tells me that “American Kids” is Poppy’s take on the ‘blame the millennial’ movement. Partially true, but that omits elements of Poppy’s disenchantment with the world and her struggle to break free of the music industry’s commercializing squeeze.

6. You’re best off analyzing lyrics yourself rather than using Genius. Genius readings are watered-down so they can be easily digested by anybody and everybody. So, they’re usually devoid of anything interesting. See also: fast food, Marvel movies.

7. Perhaps it’s best to think of “American Kids” as Poppy’s worldview presented as a mosaic, with each piece being one of Poppy’s thoughts crystallized in time. Or think of the song as Poppy Splatoon-style painting a picture of her worldview. Whichever analogy works best for you.

8. In “American Kids,” Poppy lays down a foundation for her future work to build off of. By looking at the underlying foundation, we can see how Poppy’s views have changed as she’s matured. “American Kids” lays a lot of groundwork, so it’ll take a bit longer to get through.

9. Since “American Kids” is so random and bizarre, we will first start by picking out specific threads. These are chains of ideas that link together. At the end, we will weave all these threads into one fabric. If your reading is good, each piece should mesh together nicely. If not, then-

10. “American Kids” kicks off with Poppy acknowledging the limitations of her worldview. She knows she is only exposed to specific information (“I live under a rock”), and she only has certain tools to process said information (“with a blacklight”).

11. From these lines we get a sense of Poppy’s self-awareness. She recognizes there is much she doesn't understand. Honestly, this self-aware hedging is pretty refreshing, especially considering the abundance of people these days endlessly blaring opinions that aren’t even theirs to begin with.

12. Poppy’s introspection continues with the line: “I’m a dumb pop star in my own right.” Again, Poppy understands how she appears. This line also relates an element of disgust, almost as if she has been forced to become something she grew up hating.

13. Reinforcing this notion is: “Sold my soul to the man with a handshake.” However, Poppy expresses her determination to still #DoSomething with her platform, to use it for Good (“Lost control but I don’t think it’s too late”). This idea is explored further by “In A Minute.”

14. Poppy also gives us the fun line, “Forever 21 is cool if I make it,” where she expresses the necessary fluidity of a pop star’s values. In such a role, she has to make sacrifices to succeed, like promoting products she doesn’t really believe in. If she doesn’t, someone else will.

15. Later in the song, Poppy mentions: “It never happened like they say.” In what ways do expectations differ from reality? The lines, “Started life at age 15, got ahead with fake IDs,” and “We’re dying young on broadcast news,” provide insight.

16. To even have a chance as a singer, Poppy had to get a headstart on the competition by starting at “age 15” and by finding ways to ‘break the rules’ (“fake IDs”). This adds to the sacrifices necessary to succeed in the ferociously competitive rat-race that is the music industry.

17. Overall, the first verse tells of the compromises Poppy has made to ‘make it’ as a pop-idol, and of the self-dissatisfaction she feels after making said compromises. The second verse expands on these ideas, telling us how she has separated herself from her old life to make her new life possible.

18. Poppy tells of how she has put distance between herself and her parents (“Last time I told mom that “I love you””), how she has given up aspects of her past life (“last time I ate food from a drive-thru”), and how she has abandoned her old possessions (“burned all my shit”).

19. Poppy also explains how she has forsaken her “teen regrets,” referring to them as a “trip wire.” Basically, any old emotional attachments or ‘what-ifs’ would only distract her and slow her down, so out of mind they go.

20. “I think my father might be gay but I don’t know” is a weird line. It does add to the idea of separating from the past, but it may seem odd that Poppy would even be concerned with her father’s sexual orientation, especially if you’re coming from AIAG.

21. This isn’t the first time Poppy touches on this topic. In “Software Upgrade,” there’s the line: “So come on, baby, tell me, are you gay?” If you compare Poppy’s old use of language to her more recent work like AIAG, you can see a clear progression of her views on identity and gender.

22. With the line, “Boys aren’t even boys anymore,” we see a concern with the absence of structure from the dissolution of traditional gender roles, but Poppy’s newer work (notably “Am I A Girl?”) embraces the freedom of increased individuality instead of decrying it.

23. Poppy ties the second verse to the first with lines like: “I should be everything you hate” and “I should be higher now than space but I’m static.” Again, Poppy emphasizes the self-loathing she feels after abandoning her values to succeed as a pop-star.

24. Before the first chorus comes, “Girls, let’s put on all of our clothes,” where Poppy plants the seeds for her later work on the objectification of celebrities. This became Poppy’s most prevalent theme. See: her videos, her fashion appearances, and “Girls In Bikinis.”

25. On the chorus, Poppy reiterates her desire to remain ‘apart’ from American kids these days. She emphasizes her abstinence from using drugs, and says (hilariously) that she doesn’t “care about your party.”

26. Not only does Poppy reject young peoples’ lifestyles, she is baffled by how and why people adopt such vapid and empty lifestyles to begin with (“I just don’t get American kids”).

27. Credit where credit’s due: there’s one interpretation I actually liked from Genius. It’s a reading of the line, “Drugs don’t work like they did for my parents,” where Poppy points out how the use of drugs has changed over time.

28. In the past, drugs used to be used as a mind-expanding substance. Substances that freed the individual. Nowadays, drugs are almost a necessity, a toll for living in modern times. Drugs are now a crutch, a fix to get people through another day of crushing monotony.

29. Sewing time. Picking out associations elicited from the song is important, but anyone can do that. The hard part is tying these associations together into a cohesive whole. We ask ourselves: what is the overarching narrative? What does the bigger picture look like?

30. Consider the meta-narrative of “American Kids.” A self-aware pop star reflects, with a pinch of disgust, on the compromises she’s made to succeed. That she has distanced herself from her peers, her parents, and her past self to ‘make it.’ How would this someone feel?

31. “American Kids” leaves us with a feeling of alienation, of exasperation, of someone who is disenchanted with modern society, yet has been forced to exist within its boundaries to succeed. “Liberty isn’t cheap and it ain’t free.” Huh, guess Poppy’s right.

32. Poppy’s final slash is delivered with: “I’m a millennial, blame it all on me.” It’s easier to point fingers than find solutions. But, in the words of Sum 41: “When we all fall down, who will take the blame?”

33. There’s one last part of “American Kids” I mentioned, but didn’t explain. Remember the instruments? Yeah, turns out those are kinda important. They’re harder to ‘read’ than lyrics, but if you’re analyzing music, it’s folly to ignore them.

34. Throughout “American Kids” are snippets of sound, flurries of voices that seep into the track. As Poppy closes the track, repeating “American kids,” her voice becomes increasingly distorted and muddied by other chatter until her signal is swallowed by a sea of noise.

35. At the end of “American Kids,” the gale of noise abruptly ends and we’re left with a final, echoing cry from Poppy, one that slowly fades into the background. “Is that symbolism?” Yeah, something like that.

#poppy #american kids

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discyours · 6 years ago

Note

What are your thoughts on contrapoints' new video if you've watched it ?

I had actually watched it before I got this ask but I wanted to rewatch it to make sure I had a good answer. Terrible idea, I spent way too much time on this, too much to justify shortening this out so I’ll put a cut out of courtesy to my followers.

I did actually find myself agreeing with her on a few points, though I didn’t spend much time being excited about that since criticising “TERFs” is hardly a new or rare thing. Starting out the video with a dramatic reading of a Germaine Greer quote was funny in my opinion, but it did set people up for an obvious bias. Some radfems truly are that transphobic and that’s really important to acknowledge, but it’s hardly news to anyone in her audience. I would’ve preferred if she’d engaged with more moderate forms of gender critical feminism, though I can’t say it’s all that much of a surprise that she didn’t do so since the entire basis of her channel is essentially putting on a wig to create a strawman (that’s not to say that the points she argued against were never made by anyone, but she does get to pick and choose which ones she talks about rather than debating a real person).

It’s also quite telling that she only asked past gender critical feminists for their input, not anyone who currently holds those beliefs (though again, can’t say I’m surprised). I did actually like her explanation of gendercrit ideology (”The idea is that gender [femininity, masculinity, gender roles, all that] it’s all a patriarchal construct, and biological sex is the only thing that makes a person a man or a woman.”). It’s fairly rare to see people represent it even somewhat accurately, so props for that. She then went on to mock questions about trans ideology as being comparable to “the Jewish question”, so,,, that strong start didn’t last long.

She explained that trans people are on the defensive against genuine questions because of the amount of transphobia we have to deal with from the government, the press, and oftentimes our family. It’s the reason we stick together and stick to unambiguous slogans that don’t concede anything (”trans women are women”). Which, cue 10 people unfollowing me, I don’t disagree with. I started this blog to talk about trans issues and at this point I’m about as trans-critical as troons can get, but even I don’t have the energy or desire to engage every single person I come across in their genuine concerns about trans people. The part Natalie leaves out however is that these slogans and chants are often part of an attempt to change legislation, where you don’t get to just state that trans women are women and refuse to discuss it when people don’t blindly accept it. Being on the defensive makes sense, but it’s incompatible with being on the offensive to change laws and social norms.

Moving on to CONCERN ONE: GENDER METAPHYSICS

This is one part where I actually strongly agreed with Natalie (well, as much as could be expected). She explains that sometimes, people use metaphors to explain feelings that are difficult to put into words, and that that’s how she understands the “trapped in the wrong body” language. Thanks to some groups who do mean this literally (thanks transmeds!) I don’t blame radfems for taking those statements seriously and attempting to debunk them, but I’m also really not fond of radfems jumping on just about any attempt to talk about dysphoria. A lot of the time these objections go beyond wanting to debunk something that is assumed to be meant literally, and beyond wanting people to think critically about their dysphoria; it reaches the point of expecting that they’ll simply reason people out of their dysphoria, since being dysphoric (and being trans) just doesn’t make any sense.

She also criticises brain sex theory much in the way that I do, and says she thinks of herself as a woman who used to be a man rather than having always been a woman. I’m too gendercrit to relate or agree completely, but compared to most trans people’s stance on this it’s pretty damn agreeable.

She finishes off this… chapter? With a quote about “living as a woman”, and while I have plenty of thoughts on that it’s elaborated on later on, so let’s move on.

CONCERN TWO: GENDER STEREOTYPES

Natalie explains that her clothes, makeup or voice don’t “make her a woman”, and that no trans woman thinks femininity and womanhood are the same. Rather, they’re using femininity as a cultural language to prompt people to see them “for what they are” (women).

Obviously the question of what makes someone a woman has yet to be answered here (unless the quote from the last chapter was intended to but that’s pretty circular [go watch the video this is too goddamn long to copy everything]) so I’ll leave the “see us for what we are” be for now. But it’s absolute bullshit that no trans woman equates femininity to womanhood. How many trans women have explained that they knew from a young age because they liked to play with dolls and their mother’s makeup? There have literally been trans women claiming that butch lesbians are closeted trans men, and that an aversion to femininity counts as gender dysphoria. I do agree with her last point, though. I didn’t cut my hair when I came out because I thought that would “make me a man”, I did so because it’d help me pass. A lot of radfems are intentionally obtuse about the existence of cultural signifiers just to paint trans people as delusional gender-worshippers.

I am actually gonna quote her here because I think it’s important;

“I think butch or gender nonconforming cis women sometimes side-eye hyperfeminine trans women because they don’t identify with this version of womanhood at all, and they’ve had to struggle since childhood against a society that’s told them they have to be feminine. And I completely sympathize with that. I think there should be more gender freedom, less coercion less restriction. But also, I’ve had to fight against the same society that told me I should really, really, really, not be *this*. So, I feel like we should be able to form some kind of solidarity here.”

I was ready to be mad at the start of the sentence but I actually agree. I just think that solidarity is lost when trans women refuse to acknowledge that society’s insistence that they don’t be like *that* is about gender roles and hatred of gender nonconformity. There is great potential for solidarity between GNC females and feminine trans women, but trans women reject it because they don’t want to be seen as GNC males or acknowledge that other people do. They want to be treated as normal, feminine women, and not doing so counts as misgendering.

CONCERN THREE: ABOLISH GENDER

Natalie argues that, while potentially a good idea, abolishing gender is a Utopian project (/pipe dream), much like abolishing borders. That denying trans people their gender identity because “abolish gender” is much like denying immigrants citizenship because “abolish borders”. It’s targeting the people who are most vulnerable under the present system, and then leveraging that system against them under the pretense of abolishing it.

I’ll concede that abolishing gender (and frankly, radical feminism as a whole) is fairly idealistic. Most radfem goals are incredibly long term and while that’s a good thing in some ways (I’m quite happy to be with a movement that refuses to accept anything less than complete female liberation, rather than some form of feminism that insists it’s only needed outside the west [”We’re already equal! I can vote! Look at the pants I’m wearing”]), it also leads to quite a lot of abstract academic bullshittery, and unreasonable expectations of ideological purity.

I don’t think it’s reasonable to view individual trans people as personally responsible for accomplishing the very long-term goal of abolishing gender. But radical feminism is not about individualism (which a lot of radfems do seem to forget, to be fair). There are radfems who are supportive of trans people; Andrea Dworkin herself supported transition. Only as a bandaid for a much bigger issue (the existence of gender) but she at least felt that trans people should be allowed this bandaid, should be allowed to reduce their suffering in current society in whichever ways they can. Dworkin’s view on this is far from rare and some radfems are even trans themselves. But to get back to the part about radical feminism not being individualistic; while individual trans people are not necessarily an issue for gender abolition, the wider trans community and its current political ventures most definitely is. The entirety of radical feminism is not going to collapse from a singular tran getting a gendered hairstyle, but replacing laws to refer to gender identity rather than sex can absolutely be devastating in the long term (and in the short term, when you look at the amount of protections that female-bodied people lose as a result), and that’s exactly what the trans community is currently pushing for.

Natalie also criticises the fact that gender critical feminists don’t seem to go after, say, Kim Kardashian for promoting gender roles. That they attack trans women with barely any following rather than people with actual power and influence. And I disagree with that, radfems are definitely highly critical of women like Kim Kardashian. But the way Natalie makes this point exposes part of the issue; nobody is going after Kim Kardashian for wearing a dress because Kim Kardashian never made an active choice to start wearing dresses. She experienced female socialisation no differently than any other woman (or, arguably, far more strongly considering who her parents were), so there’s some sympathy to be extended there. She has more responsibility due to her platform, but it’s no easier for her to break out of gender roles whereas trans people, to some extent, knowingly stepped into another gender role.

CONCERN FOUR: MALE PRIVILEGE

Natalie argues that men don’t treat trans women like their equals. That non-passing trans women are not treated like men, but like monsters, and that “male privilege” is not a good description of that experience.

This is one of those things that’s really hard to argue against because there’s an inherent disagreement about gender. Natalie’s insistence that non passing trans women aren’t treated like men comes from preexisting notions that a man is more than simply an adult human male, which is where I disagree. Non passing trans women are treated like men, but that does not mean that men will treat you like an equal; much like straight men can still treat gay men like shit, white men can still treat black men like shit, etc. “Male privilege” has never been a good descriptor of gay men’s experiences with homophobia either, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t have any. There is more than one axis of oppression.

Moving on, Natalie brings up radfems’ skepticism about the whole notion of “passing”. I’m not going to bother to quote it because the entire part is good, but I do have strong feelings about this.

Her argument about gas station attendants and plumbers is completely on point, and I fucking hate it when people try to argue that anyone who reads trans people as their desired sex is simply being polite. It’s genuinely fucking impossible that everyone we run into has been indoctrinated into politically correct gender ideology, and the nerve a lot of radfems have to insist that our genuine life experiences are worthless next to their opinion is downright insulting.

Passing is, in fact, subjective. With my shift in perspective since becoming gender critical, my perception of trans people has changed too. People I used to believe passed flawlessly are now quite noticeably trans to me, but that’s not to say that that’s a result of “breaking free from trans ideology”. Relying on gender roles to identify people’s sex is in fact the cultural norm, and only actively attempting to view things differently (or spending large amounts of time around GNC people) changes that.

CONCERN FIVE: MALE SOCIALISATION

Natalie starts off by acknowledging that she has no idea what it’s like to be catcalled as a nine year old girl, or what that does to a child’s psyche. It did not start happening to her until she was an adult, when she knew what she was getting into and was ready for it. I just want to mention that separately because I just about cried when she said this. Sexual harassment at a young age is one thing I see trans women consistently failing to acknowledge, and an end has just come to the years of frustration I have suffered as the result of this argument going completely unaddressed.

She goes on to argue that socialisation does not stop at childhood; that it is a lifelong process. One example she gave is that her appearance is commented on far more now that she’s transitioned, and that that’s been something she’s had to get used to. I actually think that’s a good point and one that should be considered more, but I’m uncomfortable with the implication she brings when talking about resocialisation, as if childhood socialisation can be erased/redone entirely (which I don’t believe it can).

Then there’s the “trans women don’t experience socialisation the way cis men do” argument. Let me quote this and see if you can spot anything wrong;

“But also, trans women often don’t experience the socialisation the way cis men do. Many trans women are feminine and queer before they transition, and have always experienced a kind of femmephobia that is rooted in misogyny.”

The implication that feminine/queer equates to trans is really harmful, and once again she’s arguing from a different concept of what a man actually is. Not to mention that “femmephobia” is only a thing against men, as women are expected to be feminine.

“Some trans women also identified as women years before transitioning, and internalised society’s messaging about women more than society’s messaging about men. Now that’s still not the same as living in society as a girl from birth, but it’s also pretty different from the socialisation of most cis men.”

Interestingly enough, I initially wrote down “masculine cis men” rather than “most cis men” because that’s what the captions said. I wonder if Natalie realised her unfortunate implication that feminine = trans after uploading her video and decided to change it in the captions, since the words don’t sound all that alike.

She then talks about “stolen valor”, that she suspects that male privilege and male socialisation are such major talking points for gender critical feminists because they feel like it’s an injustice for people to claim their identity without experiencing their oppression. She compares radfems to transmeds; both groups supposedly believe that you need to suffer for your identity to be valid.

Fundamental disagreement about gender is affecting her understanding yet again. Identity-based thinking just can’t be applied to gendercrit ideology at all; the whole point is that gender identity itself is harmful, and that women who consider themselves as such because they are adult human females have extremely different experiences than people who feel that they identify with womanhood regardless of their lack of life experiences actually being female.

[”You didn’t suffer like I’ve suffered! You don’t know what it’s like”] “I’m tempted to strike back by saying that you don’t know what it’s like to occupy an identity so stigmatised that most of the people who are attracted to you in private are too ashamed to admit it in public”

Ever heard of butch lesbians, Natalie?

“You don’t know what it’s like to have a body so non-normative that you’re shut out of whole areas of society”

Cough

CONCERN SIX: REPRODUCTIVE OPPRESSION

I’m getting fucking tired at this point and I hate myself for even writing this long of a reply up until now. Basically, she pulls the good ol’ “not all women experience their womanhood the same way” argument, and then makes a fucking coat hanger abortion joke. I wish I had an in-depth reply to that but I don’t. I honestly don’t have the words to express how angry it makes me that someone who has never even had to deal with even the mere possibility of unwanted pregnancy thinks they have any place to joke about the horrific lengths women were forced to go to as a result of their reproductive oppression.

CONCERN SEVEN: ERASING FEMALE VOCABULARY

Through her assumption that feminism is a mere shield for gender critical radfems to hide their transphobia behind, Natalie is disregarding the actual feminist motivations behind opposing gender-neutral language. I mean, she literally does not even touch on it, she only says that nobody has any issue with individual women referring to themselves as women rather than “menstruators” (or, by her suggestion, “people who menstruate”).

Medical lingo is complicated, and I understand wanting to ensure that trans people do not lose insurance coverage when they change their legal sex. I don’t believe that changing all medical language to be gender neutral is the only possible solution there, but at the end of the day doctors are gonna know the difference between male and female anatomy even if their textbooks talk about “pregnant people”. Medical language is not the issue here, it’s the expectation that this language becomes commonplace everywhere, including in feminist discourse. That’s the point where female vocabulary is erased, and where it becomes impossible for women to discuss the reasons for their oppression. Menstruation and pregnancy are not “gender neutral” issues when it comes to institutional oppression, and we should not treat them as such.

Moving on, let me quote her directly:

“I have no problem with cis feminists discussing or celebrating periods or wearing pussy hats at political marches. […] I totally get why cis feminists would want to celebrate their reproductive anatomy in defiance of a society that routinely shames and subjugates them for it. The problem arises only when menstruation or reproductive anatomy are used to misgender trans men or exclude [women who don’t bleed].”

The assumption wasn’t that every individual trans woman takes issue with women discussing their anatomy, so “I don’t have a problem with it” is not an argument. I mean, you’re obviously free to say it to get people off your back about it, but it does not debunk radfem concerns when there absolutely are trans women who believe it’s “terfy” and “exclusionary” to talk about issues that only affect “cis” women. That last point is a funny one, despite all the inclusive language trans women regularly forget that menstruation is not a cis thing. And that’s an issue Natalie appears to suffer from too, unless this was unfortunate phrasing and we were just meant to assume that trans men talking about periods is not up for discussion. Either way, it’s clear that inclusive language is clunky to everyone, the mistakes that are acceptable to make just depend on which side you’re on.

CONCERN EIGHT: TERF IS A SLUR

Natalie uses an interesting definition of “slur” here: “a pejorative that targets someone’s race, religion, gender, or sexuality”. I say interesting because I can’t find it anywhere. I could find “an insinuation or allegation about someone that is likely to insult them or damage their reputation.”, “an insulting or disparaging remark or innuendo”, “a derogatory or insulting term applied to particular group of people”, but not hers. Presumably because she made it up herself (and haf-assedly at that, did you forget disabled people exist Natalie?) knowing that all of the former definitions would, in fact, consider TERF to be a slur.

Now I’ll be honest, I’m not a fan of the whole “TERF is a slur” thing. I’ve seen someone use that to say “if you call me TERF I can call you tranny”. I don’t think being called a TERF (which I have plenty of experience with) should be considered to be comparable to being called a tranny or a bitch. TERF has become essentially meaningless and is an inaccurate term roughly 95% of the time it’s used, but it is meant to have a meaning (”this person excludes trans people from their feminism”), whereas other slurs don’t tend to have any message aside from “this person belongs to a minority and I want to insult them for it”. I’m not ignorant to the fact that it’s often used as a synonym for “lesbian” though, and that it absolutely is used insultingly and with the intent to ruin a person’s reputation, so I’ll stay in my lane on that.

After comparing “gender critical” to “race realist” and mentioning a general refusal to use these terms as to not legitimise bigotry, Natalie explains that she has very little patience for “TERF requests for linguistic decorum” because of the “maximally hurtful, harmful, and insulting” language that radfems use to talk about trans people (eg, referring to transition-related surgeries as mutilation, and the terms “TIM” and “TIF”).

I have some thoughts on this because, while I fucking hate these terms, Natalie’s disdain for them is hypocritical. She just acknowledged that using certain language legitimises the ideologies behind them, and that’s exactly why “TIM” and “TIF” were born. Referring to trans women as trans women while also insisting that woman means adult human female, something trans women do not fall under, did not work out well for radfems in the past. Conceding linguistic ground merely for the sake of respect essentially meant they’d instantly lose that argument, an argument that is in fact extremely important for feminism. I justify using technically incorrect terms (including pronouns) to refer to trans people because I’m trans myself, I understand what it’s like to be dysphoric and I believe that signaling that level of respect can at times be essential to get people to listen. But this is not an apolitical issue and as much as I despise being referred to as a “TIF”, I can’t blame that term’s existence on hatred.

Natalie concludes her video by being “real” about what the core of the gender critical movement is actually about: transphobia. Visceral disgust and hatred for trans people’s very existence.

And you know, for some people that definitely is the case. But this isn’t where I concede that I’ve been faking trandom to give credibility to my transphobia, or where I break down, admitting that I’ve based my entire political stance on pure self hatred (I mean lord knows I have enough of it, but nah that’s not what happened). The reality is that there are gender critical trans people (including trans women), and I’d dare suggest that we are not the only ones who believe in gender critical ideology for reasons other than transphobia.

In conclusion, this video is just another rebuttal against a strawman of “TERF beliefs” which never even attempts to treat them as genuine, only as ignorance that is easily educated away, or hatred that can’t be argued with regardless. I can’t say I’m disappointed with this video (it’s certainly not lower quality than I’d expect from contrapoints) but I am disappointed with the political climate where this is the furthest any outsider is willing to go to debate against gender critical ideology.

#anon #gender critical #contrapoints

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suechoiart · 6 years ago

Text

Captain Marvel (2019) and Demolition Man (1993)

I am marinating the portions of Dada’s Boys that I’ve read over the weekend. In the meantime, I wanted to practice some writing and ramble about two movies I’ve watched over the weekend.

Captain Marvel (2019), and

Demolition Man (1993)

((If anyone has a high-res copy of the poster...I’d be eternally grateful))

Incoherent rambling ahead

Summary: Captain Marvel wasn’t a good great movie (it was a fine movie); Carol Danvers is pretty cool but very similar to Cpt America’s character; looking forward to the second half of Infinity War; Demolition Man does a *lot* of things a *lot* better than Captain Marvel. Was Captain Marvel feminist? Lessons from good action movies.

I don’t explicitly mention plot points but /educated readers/ could probably deduce some spoilers both movies. (I’m being sarcastic. I definitely mention movie details without any regard to spoilers.)

I have a soft spot for both Marvel Studio movies and fun, cheesy, action flicks. I love the behemoth that MCU has become, something they could not have known when Iron Man was created 10 years ago... and I love the purity of action films - of good guys ‘beating up’ bad guys - and the heart actors and directors bring to it shown in movies like Die Hard. Some of the Marvel movies are right in that spot - and their strength shines more in the ‘character interaction’ department; whereas pure-action-comedy movies like Jackie Chan’s Hong Kong productions and The Matrix have great characters but the action sequences, where the actors themselves have to train at significant amounts, shine the most.

The more I think about Captain Marvel, honestly the more disappointed I am. Frankly for the big breaking International Women’s Day release it was not rich enough. I thought Black Panther had done marvelously (I still tear up thinking about the themes of disaphora in BP), nor was a pure comedic genius like Thor: Ragnorak .... It was a very, very, very average Marvel film. The first Ant Man is better than CM; the second Ant Man is not as good as CM.

Which is to say that CM is not a bad film, but unfortunately disappointing for what it was ‘supposed to be.’ I don’t feel bad thinking this way, because BP was a great success in my heart; it spoke to a universal theme while championing a targeted audience (of race and origin). As I am an immigrant, although I cannot associate with Black History Month, I can still relate to it deeply in terms of diasphora and displacement. (Wakanda forever!)

I’m urged to clarify again that CM was not a bad movie, but I think it failed because it placated a lot of the villains and conflict in favor of ~Carol Danvers~.

So, good parts of CM: Carol Danvers is pretty darn awesome. I really think that she brings hope to the Avengers, -- she symbolizes what the humans have better than any of the outer-Earth lives that are out their in the MCU: she gets back up. No matter what she’s told, whom she’s told by... She always gets back up. I did tear up here. I really did like that notion that she, and her humanity, is how the Avengers will win.

So.... That falls pale in her co-cast:

Nick Fury, who spends 75% of screentime cooing over a cat, and apparently too young to be the badass Fury that we know and love;

Kree mentor who tells her “u ahve 2 much emoshuns 2 be a gr8 kree”

Best friend whose character is only to tell Carol how great she is

Cat, saves the day probably more than she does

Somewhere between those lackluster sidekicks and Carol Danvers’ overpowered ‘superpower’ ... You basically get women are cool and funny and get over it as the central theme of the movie.

I think the “Carol Danvers gets back up” is problematic, because I read it in a very gender-neutral language (see above: I’m framing that as the HUMANITY’S reason to win, not WOMEN’s) -- potentially because this movie is situated in a world where the Avengers lost half of total lives in the universe... But also because the wOmyN aRe StRonG idea was so, SO obtuse, especially as response to CD’s Kree mentor (played by Jude Law) -- who, again, emphasizes how much weak Carol is because she lets emotions control her. Except it’s not about emotions. Emotions are not why Carol Danvers gains strength! (It’s her humanity!)

I think the emotion thing *could have* worked, had Carol not been very, I’d say extremely level-headed in spite of a lot of the weird stuff that happened through the movie. She never broke down, never threw a tantrum.... She was just a very secure person with a sense of humor that Fury even enjoyed.

So then, what was Jude Law even talking about? I find the “emotional is bad, logical is good” construct very gendered and extremely problematic, especially in our political/internet-driven social climate. In words of misogynists and keyboard warriors(who tend to be young males), being logical and rational is obviously superior; and emotional bad; and as a consequence many women (or emotional men) suffer through invalidation of their experiences. When Carol Danvers, as seen in the film, does *not* have issues controlling her emotions.... why does he even say that? Why is that even written in the script?

In short, .... Considering that this is supposedly Marvel’s stake on feminism (yikes, it didn’t even register to me as feminst) ... I have to borrow the words of this great Mashable article by Jess Joho:

The only thing that feels truly retro about Captain Marvel's '90s setting is its shallow take on feminism that we should be moving away from, not using as a crutch. It's not just that so many of the movie's heavy-handed Feminist Moments come across as disingenuous. Those moments also tap into an old conceit of equality as a sort of revenge fantasy, mixed with the undertone of a battle of the sexes. [...] The feminist-ish sentiment of "girls are just as good as boys" defines and measures women's empowerment as it compares to men. Consequently, it devalues and trivializes feminine power in its own right.

... so considering that this is, the first and only solo female movie in MCU...... They really, really could have done better. I hate to say this but (because MCU > DCEU), ...... Wonder Women did it a LOT better.

Onto Demolition Man. It’s past my bedtime so I’m going to just rush through random thoughts via bullet points:

Wesley. Snipes. (Probably doesn’t help that Blade is also one of my favorite movies.)

Sylvester Stalone was great in this movie. He had great form in all of the shots he was in. Commandeered every scene.

ALL OF THE CHARACTERS! They were so lively. Everyone had motivations that drove them, instead of being basically houseplants that can drive spaceships (ahem...CM...)

I definitely have another soft spot for movies with ridiculous plots. “LAPD gets cryofrozen as a criminal for failing to save citizens, but in tern DEMOLITION MAN-ing an entire complex throughout his career. When big bad evil Wesley Snipes gets parole, only one man can stop him --- the very Sylvester Stalone, The Demolition Man, who put him in jail!” “oh and this is a weird 2023 where you have to pay fines for cussing.”

Oddly enough this movie has a great example of ‘secure heterosexual male protagonist’ and ‘female love interest with her own motivations’.. They actually agree to (CONSENT TO!) make love, and she starts and finishes in her own terms.

Sylvester Stalone’s character is actually very caring and understands his role in the world he wakes up to; he is not at all gross (”back in my day” is never said) and he understands his position as a guest to all of this, while asserting his own views of morality onto the world.

Also I’m very upset that this movie achieved themes of displacement, utopia, and “who is the real bad guy?!” a lot, LOT, better than CM.

Denis Leary plays the rebel in the movie and also made this music video, which actually aligns a lot with my thesis interests (masculinity, prescribed notions of American life, suburbs....)

youtube

I just have to reiterate again that (1) Sylvester Stalone did not have to prove his masculinity to anyone, but his humanity is acknowledged by even the heroine in this character - (2) why must women still be *acknowledged* by man of our competence in 2019!?

OH, this movie makes SO MUCH BETTER 90s REFERENCES THAN CAPTAIN MARVEL!!! This is important. Captain Marvel makes 90s references as much as it nods to feminism. There’s a Blockbuster. And a Radioshack. Do they even realize those stuck around into the 2000s?

To conclude... I understand the constraints put onto Captain Marvel, sandwiched between freaking Infinity War 1 and Infinity War 2. But had Marvel Studios not learned their lesson from the tragedy of Age of Ultron? Even Joss Whedon, who arguably is a very well accomplished director, could not make AoU work. It was not a good movie. And he freaking set up the entire Avengers franchise!

I can’t know what lead to the underwhelming result that is Captain Marvel, but it is not a great product to stand on its own.

DEMOLITION MAN IS STILL RELEVANT! Captain Marvel will still only be relevant in the future if we don’t, as a society, move on from “girls can do anything boys can do” mentality.

#rant #movie review #blade #demolition man #captain marvel #feminism #90s

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soulipsy · 6 years ago

Text

Open Letter

I’ve stared at many blank pages trying to articulate this, struggling for the lexicon to employ while baring my soul… to take the guise of my shyness about my identity and put it to rest so I can exist authentically. Uninhibited.

This is an open letter; I am letting go of my attachment to the acceptance of others and my unsaid apologies about who I am so I may find peace. I deserve peace.

I realized I am not a woman around the end of high school. I had been thinking about it nonstop for weeks when I first felt the words leave my mouth. I was sitting on a porch swing with two of my best friends and upon hearing the words aloud for the first time, I felt the most brilliant lightness. The ultimate unburdening.

This feeling of androgyny has only intensified as I grew more into myself and my identity as a human being. Not a girl or a woman, nor a boy or a man. I am just a person. A human who was lucky enough to be born in a time where there is popular language to express this and a community of others who feel the same way. There are many terms: nonbinary, genderqueer, agender, gender non-conforming (GNC)… the list goes on. It doesn’t matter what you call it as long as you know that gender is a spectrum, not a binary, two-part system. This doesn’t seem to me like such an obtuse concept, and it has been around in many cultures for thousands of years, yet I have faced crushing rejection when I’ve tried to open up about this - hence the many months of stewing in silence, leaving this weight in my chest because I was afraid to cast it on to others.

I am not a woman, despite what anyone may think or assume, despite how I look or dress, and despite how I was socialized as a child. If you are lucky enough to be cisgender (meaning you identify with the gender you were assigned at birth) it is important for you to first understand that sex and gender are entirely separate entities, as the first is biological and the latter is a personal identity expression.

The most important thing I can ask of my cisgendered friends and family is not to seek an understanding of my identity but to simply respect and accept it. If you have never questioned your gender, you will never understand the feeling, process, or emotions of being transgender. You can, however, support and respect those of us who are.

Here are the ways you can do that

-First and foremost, stop using gendered pronouns (she/her/hers) for me and replace them with they/them/theirs which is the most common singular gender-neutral pronoun in English. This may seem unnatural and difficult at first but you will quickly get over it. You have likely been using they/them as a singular, gender-neutral pronoun for a long time without realizing it. (article source)

-Calling me by my preferred name: Nelson.

-Using gender-neutral language in reference to me, such as ‘sibling/youngest’ or ‘youngest child’/’person’/partner’ instead of sister/daughter/lady/girlfriend. Comments along the lines of “You go girl”, “girl power”, “girlfriend”, “queen”, “goddess” etc. are included in this as well. (yes, even if you call everyone “girlfriend” or say “girl please”, I would just prefer if you didn’t around me.)

-Correcting others when they misname/misgender me in a respectful and private way. This is especially important and helpful. I've grown tired of being the only one who will stand up for myself as it is very emotionally laborious, so I really appreciate when others stand up for me, especially when I am not around.

-Spending some time educating yourself if you’re new to gender non-conforming identities and care about me and my comfort (I’ve attached some links to articles I like below but a quick Google search is also beneficial)

-Lastly (but perhaps most importantly) please find a time to turn inward and unpack your perceptions about me, my gender, and trans bodies in general. Regardless of how we present, what our voices sound like, and whether or not we choose to medically transition, we are who we say we are. I don’t just ~identify~ as non-binary, I am non-binary. Coming full circle and being a true ally involves more than just using the right language: When a trans-person comes out to you, it is your job to sit down and commit yourself to re-experience us as our true gender identity, away from the harmful societal constructs of gender that have been forced upon us. Just repeating a simple statement about your friend’s gender identity for a couple minutes can go a long way. This may seem like an abstract request, but I can usually tell who has done the work and who uses my pronouns to placate me. Misgendering someone is not a mistake, its a peek into the subconscious and that is why it hurts so much.

If this seems like a lot to ask, imagine for a second that everybody was constantly calling you the wrong name or everyone in your life perceived you as the wrong gender. Can you empathize with how frustrating and invalidating that would be? Before I started to be transparent with those closest to me, and now the greater internet (!!!), I could only be bothered in silence but now that I have come out, there is no reason for this to consistently continue happening. I understand it may take time and mistakes happen (please just correct yourself and move on) but it has taken a lot of bravery for me to bare my soul in this way and I feel I deserve a reciprocation in effort from the people in my life. I believe my comfort and happiness are worth a bit of work and some slight changes in your language.

Thank you for investing your time and effort into our relationship by reading this, and happy National Coming Out Day to all of the brave trans and queer people in the world. May we all beam today and forever.

Love,

Nelson

Links:

Help with gender-neutral language:

History of GNC identities: (this is not a new concept)

Article by a parent of a non-binary adult

Article by the partner of a non-binary person

#nonbinary #genderqueer #agender #open letter #coming out #national coming out day #trans #queer #gnc #gender neutral

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sterlingarcher · 2 years ago

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Um claiming gerard has not said he is anything but a straight cis man is….. wrong ? He literally was interviewed for a queer magazine which was interviewing only queer people and used the terminology ‘came out as gender non conforming’. You’re clearly bothered that people have came for Brendon but praised gerard. No one likes Brendon cause he’s a racist asshole, nothing to do with wearing a dress or coming out. People are celebrating gerard for lyrics like ‘what I’m going through shot lipgloss through my veins’, a Reddit AMA thread saying he thought he was a trans woman and much more. Also refusing to label your sexuality is not implying your a straight cis man lmao. The fact that you think a pan man is more permitted to wear a dress that an openly gnc they/them pronoun user is mind blowing.

GNC does not = transgender, thinking you might have been something at one point and discovering youre not does not = transgender, and this is exactly what im talking about when it comes to gerard tossing bread crumbs to the pigeons and watching all of you peck. its also what im talking about in regards to this continued rhetoric of “this person is open about their gender expression, that must indicate that they are trans.” we fight as a community to prove that pronouns + clothes =/= gender identity and now here we are. brendon is not the “racist asshole” you all think he is, please learn to let go of behavior that occurred in fucking VINE times and has been addressed and never repeated, i promise youll be happier for it. i promise to you if you dug far and deep enough there would be plenty of things that have come out of every member of mcr’s mouth that you do not like and find morally repugnant, but it would be very interesting to watch you do mental gymnastics to defend them while flogging brendon for similar shit. with the logic half you people use you could make the case that gerard is a racist and a rape apologist for being married to a woman that plays bass for a band with a lead singer that openly says the n word and has been alleged to have assaulted and groomed teen girls. it appears you indeed missed the entire point of my post because all of what youre saying is precisely what im talking about, and just as i mentioned with other people you are being purposely obtuse regarding this because as a fan of gerards you feel attacked by my point of view. i am well aware of the things gerard has said regarding his gender and sexuality, but still none of the things hes said has ever afforded the general public any amount of clarity beyond the fact that he misidentified his gender in the past and views himself as gnc. you can be cisgender and gnc, and the people going buckwild falling on their swords to defend gerard as some kind of vocally out member of the trans community is beyond perplexing and ignorant. i used to think i was nonbinary? i now identify as a transgender man. doesnt mean im still nonbinary. i have tons of friends who also used to identify as nonbinary and discovered later in their lives that they were actually cis and just felt moreso gnc. and that was the full point i was making. additionally, refusing to label your sexuality is not the issue, and i flat out explained how and why that isnt the issue, so it does indeed appear you didnt read and take in the entirety of that post. the issue is refusing to label your sexuality while acting like you exist on the same level as people who are open and out and proud and DO subscribe to labels that follow them and put them in objectively more danger than if you were to play the game of “am i? am i not? will i ever clarify? ill never tell ;)” because its a skin you can remove. the point is that someone whos made a very clear statement about being a member of the lgbt community can be shat on to death about something as silly as wearing a dress while the guy who keeps playing the long con is lauded and heralded as that lgbt savior i so-mentioned in my post. and just as i said in my post that you so clearly did not absorb in the slightest, none of any of this is to say that you cannot like gerard or find comfort in his music or the way that he speaks on his experiences. it is just so out of this world nuts to continue to position him as a mouth-piece and representative of a community he has never once explicitly claimed to represent. gerard is a multimillionaire, hes gonna be fine and make money no matter what my take on any of this is. just the same as brendon. hes gonna be fine and make his coin and be well loved by his fans whether you hold grudges for years-old behaviors that havent been repeated or not. all of this just amounts to nothing but tumblr discourse that could go in point-counterpoint circles for ages if we let it. brendon is not a bad person. gerard is not a bad person. they are literally JUST people. full stop.

#i swear gerards whole savior of the broken the beaten and the damned schtick rotted some of yalls brains #like you people really do look at him and see a god and its scary. hes just a person. he is not perfect #nor is brendon and i have never once genuinely and non-jokingly claimed him to be #just fucking grow up and see that everyone in the world is a human being capable of mistakes and missteps #like i said i promise i swear youll be happier for it once you stop treating celebs like the moral golden standard

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norgad-vcd · 3 years ago

Text

COPY: First Revision

Introduction.

What goes on, online?

Anything and everything. It’s a beautiful and vibrant mess of human interaction. Everything from trivial and thoughtless acts to the most sincere and genuine deeds. It’s grounds for the vicious and the virtuous alike. The internet is what you make of it; A tool as good or bad as it’s wielders.

What this book is

It’d take a thousand lifetimes to see it all.

How about a quick glimpse instead?

Hiya, I’m Tom! I’ve spent enough of my life online that I can confer some of my findings to you. This book is a smörgåsbord of experiences, phenomena, and memories I’ve been witness to and participant in during my time here. While not a full picture, it should help you navigate the ballpark of possibilities out there. My experiences are just one sample from billions; perhaps after this you’ll seek to venture out further into that world-wide web, or - at the very least - understand a little better those who do.

Heads-up

Listen a moment, before you go.

I am only one person. My field of view is limited, as is my foresight. Take my advice with a grain of salt, I can’t prepare you for everything. There’s so much more out there waiting for you, some good, some bad; be sensible.

Who am I, online?

Personas and the separation of meatspace and cyberspace.

Online, your real-life identity isn’t attached to you by default. Of course there’s places where the expectation is indeed a connection to real identities - like Facebook for example - but this is not a requirement. I’m not known as ‘Tom’ online, people know me by my username, and t.

It’s not a fake me, or a way to lie to people, it’s just an alternate expression of myself. We act differently to different people in so many social situations, - from time with family, to at work, and to hanging out with friends - the internet allows even more possible ways to express parts of ourselves. For me, it’s liberating to exist in a state that’s disconnected from the tangle of my real life self, and to keep the tangle of my internet presence away from real life as well.

Equal ground, just another user.

On the internet, nobody knows who you are.

Unless you divulge them, your identity, physical appearance, background, nationality, gender, race and so on are completely unknown; this is the great equalizer. Free from biases based on your physical self, you can be perceived as purely another person.

Still a person, despite appearances.

A clean slate can tempt some however to act recklessly. If an identity and stigma can be shed so easily, some people feel emboldened to act without the threat of consequences; verbally beat someone up, and then wash your hands of the whole incident.

It’s important to remember that people online are still people; while their faces might be obscured, they still have thoughts and feelings.

In general, talking to people online has the same potential as real-life to be great, awful, or somewhere inbetween. It’s just luck of the draw who you’ll encounter.

Who else?

I’m hanging out with my friends.

“Go outside and spend time with your friends!”

What a classic line. Truth is I’m already spending time with my friends, just on the computer. It can be hard to organise in person meetups sometimes, and meeting up online can be much more spontaneous. All it takes is noticing someone else is online and flicking them a message, Boom, instant hangout, and before you know it you’ve got all the boys bantering away.

Over the first lockdown in 2020 me and most of my real-life friends started a minecraft server together and played through it for the duration of our stint stuck at home. It was like a little clubhouse, each time we logged in and saw things change slightly since last time. We left each other notes and set up gifts and pranks for when people left and returned. It was a great way to keep in touch when we were otherwise very isolated from social contact.

Guest speaker, Josh

[Josh text]

In general, hanging out online is pretty great. It might not be perfect, and sure we could get a little more sunlight, but for what it’s worth it’s good for the soul and sometimes the best thing on hand. Friendships don’t care about how you nourish them, just that you do.

[WHY ARE YOU STILL AWAKE?]

I don’t know the names of some of my closest friends.

What about friendships that never were from real life, rather that grew from the internet.

I don’t know the names of some of my closest friends.

That doesn’t mean I don’t care about them; it’s just we all know each other by our usernames and whatever funny profile picture we’re rocking at the time. I still know their personalities, their sense of humor, what they like and don’t, and everything else you’d know about a friend. We still have inside jokes, favourite group pastimes, and all the rest.

This has caused some strange moments though. When I was younger and my parents would ask who I’m talking to on the computer, I wouldn’t know how to respond. Do I tell them “I don’t know” and spark images in their heads of catfishers and criminals? Do I tell them my friend’s username and get told “that’s not a real name”? There really wasn’t any good solution in my head at the time, so I’d just say “someone from school” and pray the topic of the conversation would change as fast as possible.

A couple of times an internet friend has accidentally let their real name slip in a conversation, and that instantly got met with waves of banter about how “you’re not an Alex” or whatever the name was. We’d quickly forget about it though, we still see each other as the identities we met each other with; someone’s real-life name doesn’t change how we see them. In that sense, I suppose usernames are like a self-determination thing; you get to pick a name for yourself, based on who you see yourself as.

Timeless zones.

Because everyone lives in different time-zones, it can often be difficult to pre-plan hangouts. Oftentimes me and my friends have planned to have a movie night at a specific time, and then once that time rolls around, one or two people are still offline, probably asleep. Oftentimes whoever was missing will come online several hours later and be sorry and upset that they held everyone up and wasted everyone’s time. Of course, we had all just postponed the movie night and just hung out and chatted instead.

Perfect is the enemy of good. Oftentimes we have to accept that it’s near impossible to have everyone hang out at the same time; it’d require half of us to be up at god awful times or to wake up at 4am for something. Instead of trying to plan big ‘everyone’ events every once in a blue moon, we try to have frequent but smaller hangouts. It might mean that we don’t get to see everyone at the same time, but it’s still workable. If we were to hold out till everyone was free at the same time, we’d never end up hanging out at all.

My version of the morning paper is skimming what my mates have been talking about in the group chat. Most of the time it’s pretty coherent and I can tell what was going on, but sometimes it dissolves into a mess of completely unrelated images and text that doesn’t read like a conversation at all. Using my expert detective skills I have deduced that our two culprits were actually talking in a voice chat, and were just using the text chat to show each other stupid pictures of dogs.

That time my friend went missing.

A while ago, someone in one of my friend groups noted that someone hadn’t been online for two weeks. Dread set in. We all knew that our friend was very prone to getting ill, and we didn’t want to say it but we were worried she might have died. Since we don’t know each other in ‘real life’ it was entirely possible that someone could drop dead one day and we’d never get any confirmation; just left wondering what happened. We asked around in common friend circles, and nobody had heard from her, coming up on about three weeks at that point. We had to do something.

Multiple friend circles of people from all around the world, scrambling to find any scrap of information about our lost friend. One person had ‘maybe’ an address that they sent something to once, but it might have been an old house. We found about three different possible legal names, and had no way to be sure which was right. We ended up sending a letter addressed to three different names ‘or the family of’. It was a desperate shot in the dark, but we were worried sick.

It turned out she was alright, but she had been stuck in hospital for a while and didn’t have access to a phone. We all had a laugh over how everyone overreacted, but it really did scare me. I’ve learned to really value the time I get to spend with my online friends; next time might not be so lucky, and if something were to happen it’s hard to ever get closure on it.

Wider World.

Community

One thing the internet’s really helped with is connecting like-minded individuals. Before the internet, if you had a niche hobby, you were probably the only person you know in your town with that hobby. Kinda lame, yeah? Nowadays, you can reach across the globe and connect with everyone who’s into the same stuff as you! Mainstream topics can have gargantuan communities, but what I find even more interesting is the weird obscure hobbies and groups, the kind that would never survive without the internet.

My personal favourite is the community around the video game ‘Space Station 13’; it’s a simulation roleplay game that’s been kicking around for about 18 years at this point, kept alive by a cult following of obsessed players. The programming sucks, and the controls are horrifically obtuse, but it’s got a charm that I can’t deny. It’s not for everyone, and I think that’s great. It’s not for everyone, but thanks to the internet enough people can still get together that they can enjoy it.

Someone sends me a funny picture. There’s three layers of delight. The first - of course - is that the picture is funny. Beyond that, there’s also the impulsive knowledge that I know who else I could send it to that might like it; it’s a chain letter that for once isn’t a scam. And the third layer is knowing that whoever sent the picture to me first got it sent to them and thought “Hey, I know who might like this”!

Random people

Strange patterns can emerge after lurking and watching from the sidelines.

In the rules discussion channel of a board game group I’m in, I swear sometimes it’s like I’m stuck in a time loop. I watch a random person ask a common question about the game, and then someone else will get the rules clarified for them. A few hours will pass, the conversation drifting elsewhere as people drop in and out. Suddenly, I spot it; the same question from before, but from a different person. Like clockwork, another nameless devout will rise up and deliver the answer. And again. And again. It’s like a two-line stage show where the audience is also the cast, over and over and over.

Since profile pictures and usernames are self-selected you do get a weird little keyhole view of who you’re talking to might be like. This person has a picture of a cat as their profile image. Is it their cat, or did they just think the cat looked nice? Their username is ‘Millie’, is that their real life name; maybe? Or what if it’s the cat’s name? Are they pretending to be their cat? Are they a cat?

Getting popular, online presence & all eyes on you

Having a large presence online - that is, having other people follow or be ‘fans’ of you - is a mixed bag. For me it’s been really good in allowing me to get my art out there and get clients, but it’s also weird. It feels a bit like I’m up on a stage sometimes, everyone’s watching me. I’ve lost the feeling of being ‘just another guy in the crowd’. What if someone reads something I posted the wrong way? Do I keep being aloof and carefree, or will that hurt my image. Should I care?

Getting weird; parasocial relationships, doxxing, and personal armies.

People with large presences can feel familiar, friendly, like you’re already friends.

I’ve caught myself falling into this in the past. Parasocial relationships. There was an artist I really admired the style of. The brain’s great at filling in the details you want to be real. I realised that I had it written in my head that this person was super cool and the best and that it’d be really cool if we hung out. All extrapolation. While it’s entirely possible that they were everything I had imagined them to be, until it’s tested it’s all just imagination and fantasy. If you’ve never talked to them, how could you know?

Guest speaker, Chai

[Chai text]

Connecting with meatspace

Back down to earth. What happens when the digital and the physical self have to intersect? The two identities are from the same person, but they’re not the same.

My family found my twitter.

One time, my parents sent me a text: “Lucy showed us your art, looking really cool Tom!”. How. I’d never sent my family any of my online profiles. I check my Twitter; sure enough in front of my eyes the screen tells me my sister has followed my twitter account. Abject horror. How much did they look at? What did they think? Should I start looking for a flat?

It’s not that I had anything to hide, it’s just that it felt… misaligned. Like two worlds coming together that shouldn’t. I’m sure for them it was just “Wow, look at our son go!”, but for me it was a wave of confusion and dread.

Visiting internet friends. (They weren’t murderers.)

One time, I was lucky enough to have a few of my internet friends visit in real life. I was showing them around my house, when I ran into my mum. It hit me. Who do I even introduce these people as? We all know each other by our online names and had been using them in conversation minutes earlier, but that would make no sense to my poor mum. And so, awkwardly, one by one my friends rattled off a set of names entirely alien to me. We all kept straight faces as each of us discovered “Wait, this person’s called WHAT?”.

We all promptly forgot each other’s names within about two minutes.

LDRs

Thanks to the internet, I met my partner.

Almost four years later, we’re still going strong. It helps a lot that a lot of our common interests can be done online, chiefly gaming and watching shows. But even the other stuff, we can still do together in some aspects. We always say good morning and goodnight to each other on the phone, and fill each other in on what we’ve been up to that day. If we go somewhere and see something cool, we can still share pictures and videos. If I make a really nice dinner, I can send them the recipe and they can have a taste (though that last one might depend on their cooking skills).

Of course, it’s not identical to an in-person relationship, and it can be more stressful. You have to put a lot more effort into reaching out to each other and making time to hang out and talk; it won’t happen by accident. We’re both really looking forward to being able to move together, but until then, being together apart isn’t all that bad.

Signing off.

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