#we both cant drive
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Oliver swift human design :D I like the idea of his flannel being unbuttoned. Also I gave him braces because I CAN !!! He has a lisp :D
#oliver swift#dialtown#dialtown fanart#dialtown phone dating sim#dialtown oliver#fanart#digital art#also its genuinely scary as to how many things we have in common#we both cant drive#we both are libras (our birthdays are in october)#we both have really bad vision#we both have adhd#we both are GAY AS FUCK#yeah <3#artkite
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but my heart is like a claw machine
#undescribed#bonk.png#great god grove#ggg#great god grove spoilers#ggg spoilers#isttvg spoilers#she/her for hector on this post please n thank you#i had a bunch of tags attempting to explain this whole thing n post game transfem hector hc but the og post didnt show up in the tags#n its like 5:30 something n i was already having trouble explaining it bc ive had like four hours of sleep so i sadly cant talk about gender#stuff like i wanted to in full detail so something something sanding self down to be nonthreatening n palatable#something something the way players (myself included) falsely believed king was a man despite many of us being trans or otherwise queer#n pre endgame king only being referred to with they/them something something men as the default as problem solvers as leaders the heroes of#the story something something hector's envy of the way king is loved n admired n able to be heard as herself#hector's fear of death n irrelevance driving her to do the shit she did n the main theme of isttvg (aside from transgenderism) being fear of#death n how denying yourself will cause you to become irrelevant in ur own life disconnected from everything as the years fly by#theres still time.#enjoy the bullet points its almost six am im gonna pass out#wiat also fixation on youth in both how we view n associate feminity n what is normally explored n portrayed with transgendering
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Finals gift ….. for me … !!!!
#snap chats#OK SO LISTEN#i was actually out getting a gift for my friend vv#i got that gift !!!!! and then i browsed a lil and … lol ….#chat its serendipity ok remember how like literally yesterday with my doodle i was like#‘i wanna read more stuff with wanda and pietro in it ….’ <:)#just a small treat for me ….. i started reading the first one on the train and oh chat i love family drama#we know i love family drama ……. i cant wait to read the rest when i get back home …#theyre so special to me. maximoff twins ive grown very fond of you these past few weeks ive decided to adopt you#magneto can meet me in the pit and i will surely die but thats ok i tried at least …..#right now i have to pack up some things then i gotta drive Back Home SO talk to yall then :]#i cant wait to be able to focus on art now …… both art is have to draw and want to draw 😫
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I think people misunderstood my macaque post
Ah well you win some you lose some
#people saying ‘the sun cant exist without the moon’#yes it can?#it just wouldnt shine#we wouldnt see it#thats why macaque is flawed from the start - you have him DEPEND on the sun to make any progress#with his character#moon and sun symbolisms are great but when you take it away#sun wukong is still SUN WUKONG but macaque is nobody without wukong and thats saying smthing#and i can give you so many examples of characters who have stories without relying on their childhood best friends#like jinx from arcane or marceline from adventure time#sometimes you can make it work if the story is about both of them#but the story has ALWAYS been about wukong never macaque#even macaque’s dialogue and actions and drives are all connected to wukong#and thats a little sad ngl#comeback kid#think pan
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the scene where lucanis is mad that he missed the shot is so funny because it has the vibes of a guy who just got into a minor car accident and not someone who missed saving the world by an inch. can i get some PASSION.
#everyone: noo lucanis it's not your fault that curb came out of nowhere :( besides at least nobody was hurt#davrin: but it's going to be expensive to fix. and i did tell you to look out for the curb.#lucanis: i cant BELIEVE i hit that curb it's never happened before. maybe i should take a break from driving until i get my head straight#varric: rook. rook can you hear me. elgar'nan and ghilan'nain both have brand new teslas. if we can get lucanis some#stimulants and put them on the road together maybe we can kill them in a pileup. it will look like an accident#< in this universe elgar'nan and ghilan'nain are just random people we have beef with and want dead i guess
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Jesus fucking christ read The Lady's Handbook For Her Mysterious Illness
#she really just came out and said the driving reason why we bother to see doctors at all these days#we're getting by on microdosing 'being heard' and people tell us to be grateful to have even that#but is it really 'being heard' if what theyre sharing is one off lines. one per doctor for us to look back on and feel real?#one from our previous doctor. one from a passing female nurse. one from the cardiac nurse. one from our physio#a lot of the time the things we latch on to to 'feel heard' arent even real acknowledgements#just a lack of opposition#which is what we normally face#we latched onto our new doctor so hard because in our first (and only - so far) appointment with her#she acknowledged our pain and suffering and difficulties - from both our illnesses and our lack of treatment - three times#thats all it took for us to switch to a new more expensive doctor that we cant actually afford to see regularly#compared to the doctor we could afford to see regularly (who was so booked out we saw him once every three months - if that)#shes the first doctor we've ever been excited to actually go back to. the first doctor we've been genuinely wholeheartedly excited to see#three acknowledgements on the first appointment. thats all it took. thats all we needed to have hope in a doctor again#we actually feel like we would get regular acknowledgements from her. not just the singular one to look back on out of years of appointments#trying not to get our hopes up because we've been crushed before but its hard
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Just a little follow up on that last post but just in general I think one of the reasons I've really stopped caring for railing on the Playtime devs... Is just because it feels like so much of it is just speculative nonsense trying to make every single thing they do secretly evil or lazy or bad. Why isn't it enough to discuss the Actual bad things they did [the fact they used to run a shady content farm before doing game work, the fact they tried to sell lore to their fans via NFTs, etc] it's hard for me to engage with content that rightfully critiques that bc oftentimes they then spiral into speculative 'so now we have to tell you why this moment where an employee blinks in the game is code for the devs secretly stole all their code from Bendy and kill babies as a hobby'.
Which makes me turn off my brain and not want to take any other points they make seriously, bc like I said if you lie to me to try and convince me of your point, I'm not gonna take anything else you say seriously bc I won't know if it's true or just something you made up anymore.
It honestly feels like everyone just keeps making shit up bc Poppy Playtime used to be the internet punching bag but now that the NFTs thing isn't the hottest topic to discuss about it anymore we all just need a reason to make fun of it and the people who like it. Which just kinda feels like unfair cringe culture, because if our real problem is the devs being greedy and shady why isn't the same effort put into roasting similar devs like the Bendy team? We can't suddenly say 'well actually being a bit greedy isn't That bad' when it's a team we like instead of one we all decided is 'cringe n bad'.
#ramblez#I hope all this makes sense Im not saying u cant dislike the devs of any of these games#just that the double standards on display really drive me nuts#sure playtime co tried to sell nfts but kindly beast laid off almost all of its employees and tried to sell its fans at full price a game#made by two people in three weeks last minute#if being greedy and lazy is really as bad as the internet says it is why arent the bendy devs the internets punching bag too#you cant have that sort of obvious double standard and then still expect me to think you take that topic seriously#bc when you only bring it up in relation to devs you clearly have a bias against and dont bring it up against devs ur bias towards#its clear that the greediness isnt actually the problem you care abt at least thats how it reads to me#anyways both of these devs suck but I dont think that means everyone at playtime co is secretly evil and in on it#a lot of effort is clearly on display in the writing animation coding etc and we shouldnt pretend its all awful just bc the ceos suck#same way I only level a lot of my problems with bendy towards mike n mood and not every single person who works on the games#bc clearly someone at JDS and playtime co cares a lot about what theyre making and thats really nice to see#its just that the ceos keep fucking up the product esp when it comes to Bendy-
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im not saying that pharmacists and doctors shouldnt be allowed to have breaks or should be overworked or anything but i think its a little cruel that pharmacies and doctors offices can close for a holiday or for a little bit of snow at the drop of a hat when like. home depot employees or something are forced to work in a snowstorm on christmas eve. like i just think medical attention and medication is more important but thats just me. hire more doctors and pharmacists for the love of god
#txt#gekkering#and i donf want these people being put in danger or anything wrt to the snow thing but like we got not even an inch of snow and both pharmac#ies i go to have been closed all weekend as far as i can tell#and my medication is not life threatening if i dont get it but if itwas ???? and the rest ofthe store IS STILL OPEN.#i dont know man. it drives me crazy.#the doctor one especially because the nurses work around the clock ill get a message from a nurse over theweekend being like sowwy she will#approve your refill soon!!!! but they cant approve it for her and she wont check any emails or anything until she absolutely has to#you cant approve a fucking prescription on mlk day? its one button.#just drives me batshit. i wish there was some better method for this shit
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Man I have no idea how to research gender affirming care for nonbinary peeps, cause like I'm nonbinary and I want my gender to be affirmed! But like, is what I want even physically possible? Do I even know what I want? What if I don't like hormones? But if a surgery I want requires hormones?
Can I control+alt+delete my tits without taking testoroni? Google gives me indecisive answers, I wish I could go out and just buy some books on the trans spectrum and read a catalog of trangender care history and options
But I don't even know if that exists, and if it does, I'd be so boned if my parents found me with such books
Why is my gender confusing me so, it makes me feel my mind was placed in the wrong form of being
#im big stupid in the ways of transistioning#transgender#nonbinary#what is gender#for context my brain has on off been informing me it thinks i should also have a penis and not just a vagina#however it refering to having a penis that can ejaculate not one for like being able to pee standing up#my brain keeps asking me why we weren't born with both forms of gentalia that are both functional#its driving me a little coocoobananas if you cant tell
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...
#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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i've been trying to schedule a time to take my driver's test for literal months because i shit you not there have been literally zero appointments at any of the five (5) dmvs within 20m of me that offer the driving test. so i scheduled one at a place that's a literal hour drive bc i was like. well at least i have it on the books and if i have to drive an hour out there to do it so be it! but i've been regularly checking the website at odd times (as suggested by multiple people) for any cancellations.
and lo and behold! i just checked it (literally 2m ago) and there was an 8a open slot at a place 10m from where i live. i had to think about it for maybe about 30s or so (checking the map to make sure it actually is close to me, considering if anyone i know with a car would be available to take me over there to take the test at 8 fucking am in the morning) and by the time i convinced myself i might as well just do it the fucking appointment had already been snatched by someone else.
i get that dmvs are probably just as understaffed as anywhere else. but this is fucking untenable to me. like. how are you so understaffed that i have not been able to schedule this appointment for literal months (i have been regularly checking! since last fucking october!) at any of the places that are within a normal distance to where i live? why on earth are dmvs in fucking st. cloud somehow more available despite the fact that they only have one vs the like five within the twin cities limits? why are you not opening more slots/hiring more driving instructors to ensure that there is plenty of availability for this apparently so essential service that you are constantly booked up for it??? most importantly why is there not!!! a fucking dmv!!! that offers a driving test!!! actually in one of the twin cities? why are they only in the suburbs? i am chewing off my own arm, this whole process is incredibly frustrating and i can't believe i caught a lucky break for the first time in five months and lost it because i hesitated for less than one minute.
#liveblogging life#when i tell you i screamed i am Not Joking#next time im not fucking hesitating i'll take whatever slot theyve got even if it's for the next fucking day#i have a booking in fucking rochester but a) it's like an hour+ away#PLUS the only person who doesnt have anything happening during dmv hours is my dad who lives an hour away from me AND from rochester#which means he has to drive an hour to pick me up and then we both have to drive an hour to get to this appt#which means this turns from a 20m appointment to a full fucking day affair for NO! GODDAMNED! REASON!#other than for some reason the fucking five different dmvs within 20 miles of me just cant seem to keep an appt slot open to save their lif#i get that the reason we dont have driving test dmvs in downtown mpls is bc the streets suck lol#but like. you serve a city of A LOT of people so you should maybe have more than THREE within the suburbs#and two more within 20m of the city#like maybe. you should have a few more than that. if youre that seriously overbooked#told by multiple people the only way i can get an appt is if i check in the middle of the night#how is that acceptable? jesus christ. JESUS CHRIST! im so annoyed right now.
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theres birthdays in my family today you know what that means ☺️
#wind howls#my parents are at each others throats because my dad wants to invite his siblings over (its the twins birthdays not his own)#and my mom doesnt want to invite anyone over bc the house is a mess and so is the yard bc of construction work !#or renovations i guess. regardless its really awesome. i hate it here#and its worse bc i understanf both their points. my dad likes having an excuse to see his siblings and have fun and drink with them#and theres nothing really wrong with that ! i think if i didnt live with most my siblings id like to have a concrete excuse to see them too#but my moms point makes sense too. my dad tends to pull this kind of stuff often and suddenly#and instead of spending the time over a good couple days to make sure the house is ready to welcome guests#he tells us day of so we have to scramble like mad to make the house look presentable.#not to mention one of my uncles in particular likes to stay late and drink lots which my parents cant afford to have today#because my dad travels to peru tomorrow and they have to drive to the airport at 5 am. my uncle staying until 2 would be irresponsible#however they are both so block headed and solidly convinced that they are in the right for their own position that they just#yell at eachother instead of weighting the pros and cons like normal people would. or should rather. its fantastic.#anyway now i have to scramble to clean this stupid house just in case (although im almost certain my uncles and aunts are comin over)#sigh
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have 2 use chrome for most shit at work and it sucks so bad literally crashes randomly when trying to copy paste stuff into google chat or do anything in drive. grrr >:(
#i would use firefox for more stuff but we literally cant access some stuff unless its on chrome lol#anyways. both my windows are frozen bcuz of a single fucking drive tab that crashed and cant be closed
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im probably going to make a new post to pin about our immigration soon im still so embarrassed that every bit of progress we've made has been like trying to hold fistfuls of sand. god. but I'll make it more succinct or whatever and maybe delve into where we're going finally and shit. idk
#weve had to go back 3 different times to the cop house to get his ID complications worked out#and then a cop fucking confiscated MINE for being trans so now i have to go back and start#the qhole waiting game AGAIN to get my stupid fucking female ID in the mail instead#and then we have to drive HOURS to go get our marriage license anywhere that isnt HERE!!!!!!#AND THEN!!!!!!! well finally have the fucking PRIVILEGE of paying hundreds of dollars for our passports GREAT#i want to rip my HAIR OUT that there have been so many issues bc ALL of them have been bc of the fucking state troopers office#they have the wrong information on their website theyre mean theyre stupid they delight in shit going wrong#and that sounds like hyperbole but weve both been LAUGHED AT and the cop who told lo he cant have an M ID#like theyre nasty and unhelpful and thats why its taken this long bc lo needed help w smtn they just. wouldn't. help with.#and maryland just. wouldnt. help with.#and its like so what are we supposed to fuckjng do? exactly?#raagahsgsgshgghgg im just so. mad and irritated and annoyed#you wont work with us bc were visibly queer but we only need this shit to LEAVE so GET OVER IT AND HELP!
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ngl it seems like everything has been going wrong for my dads side of the family these first two months of the year
#my grandads heart tried to fail twice and he had to be taken to hospital in an ambulance and get an operation to get a stent in#my grandmas alzheimers is getting worse and putting mental stress on my grandad and on top of that she was in hospital last week#for what we thought was a stroke but turned out to be a viral infection causing stroke symptoms#and when we went down last week to visit/for the concert we found out that my dads younger brother#who went to look after them when these happened till we could get down for each incident (he lives less than 2 hrs drive away#and we need to take a plane and then long drive to get there) actually had a fall at work#because the construction company he works for doesnt fucking care about their workers. and he hit like three or four things when he came off#the ladder and hit concrete ground and broke a vertebrae and other bones#and nobody! came! FOR FOURTY MINUTES#EVEN THOUGH THEYRE SUPPOSED TO WATCH CAMERAS FOR ACCIDENTA EVERY 2.MINS#he had to CALL THE AMBULANCE HIMSELF and now cant work for like 3 fucking months#so dad has got to help out both parents and his little brother and like fuck dude#can you give my family a break PLEASE
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im never working in fast food ever again after this job today was hellish
#speaking#cant wait until my fav coworker is back from his trip he is SO much better at doing the drive thru than me#we got swarmed today it was awful T_T both the dining room and the drive thru#i think the timing aspect is the worst thing about drive thru like oh my god the customers can wait more than 200 seconds before they get#their food it is NOT that deep
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