#we are cooking y’all

[aroace-poly-show]

it’s been one day and the wxs timeloop au brainrot has only gotten worse. thanks keri for joining me

[xbraveheartx]

Reddit calculates our boy’s height anD I KNEW IT!!! I SAID IT ON STREAM!!!! HE’S 5’3” HE’S JUST A LIL GUY!!!! A LIL FELLA!!!!!!!

[foxglovedforest]

Do I even want to know Gujarat poll results 💀💀💀

[aballadforbarbatos]

inspired by a hetalia piece of mine i found yesterday. this is actually lowkey kinda long i didn’t mean to do that

mc eating solomon’s cooking

you are hungry.

you KNEW you shouldn’t have turned down satan’s offer of lunch at hell’s kitchen but you were so exhausted and you mistakenly thought there would be food in the kitchen

you should’ve known better. smh.

someone needs to go shopping because there is only a stick of butter and an identified plastic container with something purple inside

not you tho you’re dirt poor. flat broke, even. pockets empty, wallet lined with dust

your stomach growls. your eyes dart between the unidentifiable substance and the stick of butter. the idea of eating butter makes you physically gag, so you turn to the container

the container has a note with “solomon’s” attached to it, and then a bigger note in belphie’s handwriting next to it

why are you clarifying it’s yours. everyone knows. nobody is taking it. WHY IS IT IN OUR FRIDGE

you’ve never actually had solomon’s cooking before

yeah there was that dinner where the pair of you cooked different dishes from the human world, but everyone was voicing their disapproval before you could try it, so you just didn’t.

it IS solomon’s though, so you decide to have a little. just a little. he won’t even notice that someone’s been into it.

pulling the container out of the fridge, you scoop a little bit into a bowl. it’s not quite as watery as you expected- in fact, it reminds you a little of mud. a deep purple mud with stuff inside.

hey, this is capsicum (bell pepper)! where’d he get this from? okay, now you have to try it- finding such difficult ingredients must mean it’s worth eating, right? right???

do you heat it up or just eat it cold… you decide you’re in the mood for a hot meal and open the microwave, shoving the substance inside

(“uh actually the house of lamentation doesn’t have a microwave” if u don’t think they’d get one because mc mentioned it once in a conversation you’re severely wrong)

pulling it out and now it’s bubbling. but like the bubbles are so slow in popping the surface because of how thick the purple stuff is

you lift your spoon. are you having second thoughts? coward behaviour. truly a wimp. you can jump in front of lucifer on a rampage but you behave like this in front of food? cowering before what could vaguely be described as soup?

apprehensively, you put the spoon in your mouth and swallow. if you spit it out you might stain the carpet

“oh.”

a pause.

“oh, what the fuck?!”

this is GOOD.

you slurp down the rest, now rather mad. everyone else was going on about how it was the worst thing they’d ever had, and you’d just believed them?! you are NEVER making that mistake again,

you moan embarrassingly loud. thank god nobody else is left in the house because how would you explain to them that solomon’s cooking is so amazing that you are involuntarily making noises

if it was just one person, you’d think they were just lying so they could have more for themselves. but it was everyone, which is probably why you were so convinced in the first place

lesson learnt; demons and angels have weak tastebuds, because you’re going back to the kitchen for seconds.

as the microwave heats up the bowl, your D.D.D. buzzes. it’s lucifer asking about your activities- you tell him you’re having a snack before studying

he says he didn’t know there was any food left in the house

you decide to ignore this last message because the microwave beeps and you go back to scarfing it down, sating your stomach and silencing its growls

“shit.”

“he won’t even notice it’s been eaten,” - you, about half an hour ago

IT’S ALL GONE?? HOW HAVE YOU EATEN THE WHOLE THING AND NOT EVEN NOTICED??

HOW ARE YOU GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS TO SOLOMON??

well you ate it all, so the least you can do is clean it, you suppose…

later that night, when everyone is back, and someone has gone shopping, solomon comes sauntering through the door and opens the fridge

“wh- who ate my soup? did you guys feed my cooking to the rats again?”

satan doesn’t look up from his book. “yeah, like anyone would eat YOUR cooking.”

you sink a little into your chair, suddenly becoming very interested in devilgram

“mc might tolerate your petty little comments, satan, but none of that changes the fact that there is no soup in this container that i specifically put in here. look, belphie even wrote a note!”

mc might- you stifle a laugh as your favourite cat fan scowls. asmo and mammon are not quite as successful as you. belphie stirs from his sleep, and mumbles something like “get it out of our fridge…”

solomon sighs. “i’m not mad, i just wanna know. mc?”

you don’t answer. maybe he’ll move on? yes? yes?

“hellooo? mc?”

no. okay, out with the truth then

“i ate it! i’m sorry, solomon! i got really hungry and there was seriously like no food left in the house, so it was between a stick of butter and your cooking, and i thought i’d take a risk, and i only wanted a little bit but it was so good and i accidentally ate the whole thing-”

you can feel your eyes welling up with tears at the thought of solomon getting mad- or even worse, being disappointed- at you. you cross your fingers and hope that he forgives you,

you totally miss the horrified and disgusted looks from the brothers. even belphie has properly woken up at this point to stare at you in disbelief

“well, mc, if that isn’t one of the most romantic things i’ve ever been told,”

what.exe

container forgotten, he comes around to your spot on the couch. puts a hand on your cheek and just pretends the others are not there

staring into his eyes helps you to drown out mammon, who knows how he’s doing it

uses his thumb to brush away your tears, there’s a small smirk on his face but would he really be solomon without it

he kisses you quickly and gently

when i tell you. the room goes into absolute UPROAR

mammon rips him away from you, that boy is dragging him away to who knows where in the house. belphie and satan are following, you suspect solomon is going to be taught a lesson he won’t forget

“if i cook more for you, i can have more kisses, right?” he calls out- mammon’s frown grows deeper

“okay!” you call back, your cheeks warm and a giddy smile on your face that simply just won’t go away

[alfredosauce50]

Write Alfred without overusing “dude” or “bro” and Allen without overusing “doll face”, “baby doll”, and “fuck” in every sentence along with every other vulgarity known to man challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)

[cosmicourple]

mmmm thinking of potential MegOp fankids…

Current brainstormed kiddies: (lol most of them are just names that randomly popped into my head <]])

-Callisto (post! T.F.P not R.I.D2015)

-Embers (post/canon divergent(??)! T.F.A)

-Orion Spark (T.F.P)

-‘Rocky’/Coldstar (IDW/M.T.M.T.E comics)

-Hyacinth (post! T.F.P or T.F.A)

-Artemis (post! T.F.P or T.F.A)

-Aster (idk???)

-Mercury (post maybe????! T.F.P)

-Perseus (T.F.P)

-Apollo (post! T.F.P or T.F.A)

-‘Apex’/‘Rogue’/Fighter (post/canon divergent! Bayverse)

-Nari (canon divergent! Beast Wars)

-Thyorllæ/‘Shadowquake’ (post??/canon divergent (basically an A.U)! G1 & Beast Wars) (they don’t rlly count as a MegOp fankid bc B.W! Meg’s is a separate character + Optimus Primal is a descendant but I digress :7)

-Tarnished (Unicron trilogy (tho mostly Armada))

-‘Scout’/Lawlight (Unicron trilogy (tho mostly Energon))

-‘Hera’/Temporal (Unicron trilogy (just Cybertron))

-Caine (R.I.D2001)

-Ariadne (original continuity)

-Nebula (G1)

-‘Casey’/Cassowary (R.I.D2001)

-Sonia/Selene (canon divergent! Bayverse)

-Ashwell (ffffhgg idk what that name is 🫠) (original continuity/soft body)

-Woven (canon divergent! T.F.A)

-Pollux (R.I.D2001)

-Lilac (post/canon divergent! G1)

-‘Low’/Hestia (original continuity/soft body)

-Cether (canon divergent! IDW)

-Isodaetes (original continuity)

-‘Flow’/Flowstone (original continuity/soft body (kinda??))

-Prometheus (canon divergent! T.F.P)

aaaaaaaand that’s all I got rn :D

[hiyyihrts]

I recorded this off of twitter bc they deleted it on their tiktok and went private but it seriously pisses me the fuck off how y’all treat Colin AND Luke as if they’re somehow both one in the same person.

“Colin has redeemed himself” by doing what?? Becoming eye-candy for you so you suddenly see value and worth in him as a character because he’s ‘hot’? And redeemed himself from what exactly? Being a normal boy who has is own feelings and thoughts about people, including his friends and family?? Suddenly now that he’s had a ‘glow up’ y’all are accepting of him as a lead character and thinks he’s worth your breath and energy, while in the same breath calling him ugly and fat and not a pointless annoying side character???

These are not just characters appearances you’re commenting on, there are actual actors who play these roles and who have to see these fuckass comments of you berating their appearances all bc you don’t ‘like’ their character (who has done nothing wrong to you personally, mind you). Fuck this person for saying such shitty things about Luke. You don’t have to like a character but coming for the actors appearance when they’ve done nothing wrong is fucking low and shows what kind of person you are now that you think he’s ‘fuckable’. And reducing a character and the actors worth to nothing but sex appeal you think they provide for you is insane.

[phoenixtakaramono]

Truce - Ch3 Preview 2/?

This is in reference to this. I’m agog that I’d somehow forgotten to share this upcoming scene in Truce its entirety—when I thought I had. Honest mistake, luvs. I shall rectify it immediately.

A snippet of my favorite part from this lil interview section:

“Not to worry. Between you and me”—the chair creaked as he leaned in, lips quirked sideways, his brows expressive, and his hand hovering beside his cheek—“Butcher and I got a secret bromance happening behind the scenes, I tell you what.” The discreet Lavalier microphone clipped somewhere on Homelander’s supersuit had picked up the hushed whisper, making the audio crisp and clear. Thirteen different camera angles captured Jimmy’s brows shooting up. He repeated, “A bromance.” “Yep. A bromance for the ages. Color me stoked.” The plastic shell of his features melted away, resembling a more complete flesh-and-blood human. Easing back into his seat, Homelander said, “I just think, like with any large and aggressive attack dogs, as owners we have a responsibility to properly train and socialize them. Now I don’t own a dog myself but if I did, I would keep my mutt on a short leash—and obedient only to me. He won’t bite, not unless I tell him to.”

The full scene the snippet belongs to:

A/N - I’m sure y’all remember Jimmy Fallon’s cameo in S1. It only makes sense to replace Translucent with Homelander now. I originally considered Cole Cameron to ask the hard hitting questions, but he dies in S4 (thanks, Ashley). So I elected to not go with him.

And the line about Butcher not being caped but quite clearly dark is lifted from the comics, as a lil Easter egg ;) but I changed it from Black Noir to Billy because Homelander’s doubling down on the lie/ cover story that he’s the one who “reached out his hand and brought Billy back from the path of villainy by inviting him into the Seven” 🙄

*Note: as always, keep in mind this is taken from an earlier draft; so there may be a couple changes in the final draft that’ll be posted to AO3 when the chapter’s ready. But this sneak peek is pretty much as close to its final draft iteration as you'll see.

(Chapters 1-2 can be read on AO3)

[saturdaynightghostclub]

I finally moved back to Seattle and it’s frankly ridiculous how much better my life has become even in just the last 48 hours

[grain-for-brain]

Some recent flattttt baguettes. Testing out my partners oven with minimal cooking gear. It was an experience to be sure

[aevortex]

hey y’all i’m officially back and can’t wait to start back posting 🙂‍↕️

[starlooove]

Always will fill me with rage when white Ppl make hcs or fics about their white faves saving Duke cass or Damian from racism (or cass saving herself with a punch and no genuine emotion about it bc she’s a Girlboss 😝 😆) and then they demonize Damian 24/7 only say ‘Duke is on day shift’ in their fics or literally have cass as some walking talking fighting doll that teases her brothers sometimes. Like it’s genuinely y’all don’t think it’s racism unless it’s a slur. Can’t tell me what internal or implicit bias or even what a microagression is and u wanna talk on racism.

[akkivee]

samatoki’s stock png next to everyone else’s anniversary art is killing me lmao

[yearning-butch]

“I want to be so full of love that it’s bleeding out of me” says girl who doesn’t know what to do with all the blood

[royaltea000]

Who let bro cook? They're making a ten course meal in a ten star restaurant 😔

The only thing cookin is me in this 100 degree heat don’t let my ego grow any bigger than this