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meyeselph · 3 years ago

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Gwenpool: Desperate Misanthrope's Confused Angst

Showtime

Ms. Pool woke up in a familiar room. Not in Krakoa - there are no mutants around. This isn’t a story about that. Look, honestly, without an actual Gwenpool series and the constant breaks in her comics appearance I can’t even begin to give a fuck. I cancelled my marvel universe subbie. I might get back to my stories but single issues are iffy. I read fast and don’t pore over the artwork. So I get 10 minutes of entertainment for….FIVE DOLLARS? When did this happen? Jeezus.

Who even reads comics anymore?

Anyway, long story short, Gwen got out of bed and recognized the room as her old one from the “old times.” The dark times. The ‘not running around in pink and white outfits and shooting people’ times. She panicked (Been there. It is what it is though). The only way out of trauma is through.

She dressed in old clothes, immediately hit by old smells, she couldn’t help but cry. Was it all a dream? Have I gone insane (again)? All the usual self doubts cropped up. I mean, really, if you think this kind of thing didn’t pass through her mind regularly why don’t you transport yourself to a comic book universe?

Oh, you can’t?

Oh. It isn’t actually possible for you and I’m stupid for suggesting it. So, yeah. If it actually happened and you kept that attitude then the logical assumption for a normie is a mental breakdown. Trick for Gwen, though, is it's probably always been both real and her being nuts.

So she goes downstairs to the kitchen to figure out why this is happening and Evil Gwen is having cereal. Let's say cocoa puffs. I’ve been thinking about those recently. You ever remember cereal as something worth cherishing. Not as just bullshit that TV convinced you to want? God damn, now I want Cookie Crisp. Cookie Crisp wasn’t even ever that good. Why do I want Cookie Crisp?

So also sitting around the table were the faceless versions of her father, mother, and her brother. Just chilling. No BD. Seen Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind?

Yes, I know that references aren’t jokes - fuck you, I’m painting a picture and I CAN’T PAINT, THAT’S WHY THIS ISN’T A COMIC. Fucks sake. Anyway. So, Gwen is so creeped out that she just sits her butt down by Evil Gwen as if she’s the comforting presence here.

Her name’s too long. Let’s call Evil Gwen uh…….Gren. You know, like Grendel from Beowulf. I haven’t actually read Beowulf and this is all a little confusing but I'm solving problems here. Writing this is harder for me than you would think so it’s best to keep things flowing off the cuff. That’s the Gwenpool™ style anyway, isn’t it? Are you laughing yet? IMPROV. “YES AND” MY SHIT, READER!

“So, you ever really look into the retconned past thing, hun?” Gren said, moving her tongue around her food. Being gross as an attempt to be properly evil. She swallowed before continuing. “This is all I could really put together on short notice but i’m pretty sure what the future people created, all that stuff to try and trick you, it was all bullshit.”

“What do you mean? Are you trying to convince me to go all psycho like you again?” Gwen asked, exasperated, realizing she was now back in the whole ‘fuck with Gwen to decide her fate’ song and dance routine from the end of her first arc.

“Nah, not really.” Gren said. A hammer appeared in her hands out of nowhere and Gren swung it into their fake father’s head, snapping his neck..

“DAD!” Gwen instinctively cried as she saw her father’s body slump to the floor. Gren slapped Gwen’s face. “That’s it,” Gren said, “this is what the trick was.This is a poorly created character in a fictional story. Meant to manipulate you into attaching your concept of “father” to it. Even his finished version in the original comics run wasn’t THAT well drawn. Your dad read like a boomer’s idea of a responsible parent. You were going through a mental crisis and struggling to find purpose in life and his genius idea was get a shitty low paying job and suck it up?”

Gren turned to their brother, pushed his face to the table and smashed the back of his skull. . “Brother dearest, too. Going right along with their victim blaming. He gaslighted you as if what you were going through was just you being ‘irresponsible.’ Bitch, people working a minimum wage job aren’t somehow not impoverished and miserable because they get some of that ‘honest work’ that folks keep badgering on about. Minimum wage work is occupied by many physically and mentally disabled people held hostage; they’re people society only pretends to care about. Then they turn it all into you acting like some world ending threat. No questions about what drove you to the edge in the first place. You are just ‘unstable,’ so you’re just a problem to be solved. They say, ‘Let’s all solve this girl being upset and on edge by ruining her concept of self, reality, and memory.’ Brilliant!”

Gwen barely processed this in horror. Gren then slit the poor facsimile of their mother’s throat while continuing to rant, “You see people die all the time, Gwen. Half of the time you are doing the killing. You do it because it’s in a story. In a story the NPCs don’t matter and, after all, your original schtick in the story was to be kill-crazy. The non-marketable characters can be replaced or retconned at the stroke of the artist’s pen.” Gren leans forward as she pulls a Gwenpool mask over Gwens face. “Then the writers convince you that you have some middle class milk toast family and you take abuse and subsume your emotional needs because the problem MUST be you. You aren’t ‘normal’ so you have to be fixed.”

Gwen wiped her eyes over the mask and sighed. A bit of fire filled her gut as she stared at Gren. “So fucking what? You want me to go on a killing spree and be a big time villain to get myself a nice, shiny permanent big bad status? That’s how I stay around right? Just build my legacy on bodies?”

Gren scoffed “You already lost that fight, girly. Where do you think we are? Because this ain’t Marvel Comics.”

Confused, Gwen blinked and tried reaching for the page margins, finding nothing. Wait….why was everything on this page so ill defined and undetailed? Wait? Why was the story in kinda wobbly third person past tense?

Gwen sighed “Oh. I’m in a fanfic. I guess the publishing fight is for another day eh?”

“My advice, personally,” Gren stated, “is that you consider the lobster.”

“Wait, what the fuck?”

Gren pulled aside the kitchen curtains revealing the face of a giant lobster, its claws tapping on the glass. The lobster muttering gutterally about personal responsibility.

“Because there’s a couple thousand giant lobsters outside that would like to claw you until you read their book.”

Scared of Girls

On the rooftop, Gren shoved a high powered rifle into Gwen’s hands while she handled the close range threats. So, this conversation they’re about to have is important. Sniping puts Gwen into a sort of zen space, so that’s a better task to keep her focused, after all.

“So, what? You wanted me to internalize that my “origin story” is bullshit? Okay, what does that accomplish, then?” Gwen asked in a bit of a deadpan. She was so tired today. Not really feeling her happy go lucky energy. More like a “happy go fucky” energy. It was hard to always be on a knife's edge. Still the rifle’s kick into her shoulder was satisfying as she blew through two of the creepy looking lobsters at once. “Also, why the lobsters?”

Gren considered this. “Okay, last question first, I had to experiment a lot and do a lot of research to construct this place for your learning and healing in fanfic form....These buddies are a failed experiment of mine that I repurposed because the fic needed more action. Isn’t that right, giant enemy crap?” As she peppers the nearest goon with a hail of shotgun pellets the entire throng of them burst out, sharply muttering about divine symbols.

“As for what I'm trying to teach you, it’s that you aren’t reaching your potential.” Gren grumpily huffed.

“Duh,” Gwen reloads, “I mean you just killed a mannequin version of the voice in my head that says that to me every day.” one of those crustaceans talks about feminine symbolism while she decides on her next target.

“Not like fake daddy’s ‘Be a responsible member of society by paying your taxes’ type of potential. I mean your creative and emotional potential.” Gren flipped off the slavering throng of monsters, noticing they were starting to keep their distance from the roof.

“I never did finish that fanfic idea I had.” Gwen mused.

“God, don’t mention that,” Gren thrusts a finger at Gwenpool. “Not that I don’t respect fanfic, but when comic book writers make you and Kamala squee about fanfiction to try and relate to “the kids” it comes across as so condescending.”

“Really? I mean…..I'm sure it’s meant as support for the concept?”

“Most fucking superhero comics are just legalized fanfiction! The people who created the characters are either long gone or working on someone else’s characters! They just think they are so much better because they got fucking paid. They can’t imagine themselves as on the same playing field as fanficcers even though most of them have the same level of connection to the roots of the work as anyone else.” Gren groused loudly as she seemed to pull Reed Richards out of nowhere.

Confused, Reed looked around until his eyes met Gwen’s.“Oh great, you again.” Reed groaned as he turned to survey the piles of lobster gibs while Gwen cheered the lobster forces’ retreat with a resounding “EDF, EDF!”. The scattered creatures skittered amongst the bland scenery. It looked like a suburban neighborhood but someone forgot to color in the sky….or write that the sky had color. A castle hung out in the distance breaking up the generic normalcy and lay cloaked in shadow despite being surrounded by an endless white void.

“And…..black….you?” Reed pointed to Gren, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I have an evil future self….well I stopped that future so it’s an….evil...alternate timeline self?” Gwen said with a nervous chuckle, abandoning the kill quest for the minute and rested her rifle on the roof.

“Ah. Yeah I’ve been down that road. It’s a rather common occurrence. Multiverse being what it is.” Reed laughed heartily while putting his hands on his hips.

“I’m not sure I’m evil, honestly,” Gren interjected. “I think I’m just really fucking grumpy and I’m slightly more gung-ho on the homicide. Considering Gwen’s already one of the more kill crazy characters on the roster it’s not that much of a distinction.” Gren flipped her cape. “My main distinction is I don’t like that meme from The Incredibles! You can just make it so the cape detaches automatically when it’s pulled hard enough!”

“You could still have it tangled up around your face.” Reed pointed out in his standard know-it-all fashion.

“Don’t make me go into fuck wife mode, stretch.” Gren spat. “Okay, anyway, so I brought him here to illustrate a point. Reed. Explain particle physics to me as a laymen.”

“Huh...i’m not sure why but okay. Particle physics (also known as high energy physics) is a branch of physics that studies the nature of the particles that constitute matter and radiation. Although the word particle can refer to various types of very small objects (e.g. protons, gas particles, or even household dust), particle physics usually investigates the irreducibly smallest detectable particles and the fundamental interactions necessary to explain their behaviour. In current understanding, these elementary particles are excitations of the quantum fields that also govern their interactions. The currently dominant theory explaining these fundamental particles and fields, along with their dynamics, is called the Standard Model. Thus, modern particle physics generally investigates the Standard Model and its various possible extensions, e.g. to the newest "known" particle, the Higgs boson, or even to the oldest known force field, gravity.” Reed rattled this off rather mechanically.

Gren then took out her phone and showed Gwen the Wikipedia article on “Particle Physics,” which is naturally the same words that Reed had regurgitated above, just without any formatting and, again, on a phone.

“Reed can’t be a genius in any subject unless he’s written by a genius in that subject. That’s how stories work. Everyone is limited by the understanding and capabilities of the writer. Same with your origin story and all the people you’ve interacted with. If you are as ‘meta’ as you think you are then you have to realize that you aren’t actually talking to people. You are talking to the writer. Dr. Strange didn’t rewrite your existence to be a part of the Marvel Universe. As far as most of Marvel continuity goes Dr. Strange was never there and doesn’t know or care about his MCU casting…..Hey Reed, buzz off please before the conversation pivots to why you haven’t cured all known diseases.”

Reed looked a little surprised but then pulled out a teleportation device (of course he has one) and blipped away with a shrug.

“How awkward is that going to be when he enters the MCU after Kamala is already introduced with a very similar power set?” Gwen chuckled.

“Keep up the way you’ve been going and you’ll never see it. I’m not exactly expecting a young blonde girl casting call for Deadpool 3 and that’s your best bet.” Gren snarked. Gwen winced with a sigh.

“I don’t get what I'm doing wrong. I have a fanbase comparable to some of the characters that have already shown up but I can’t even get comics written about me most of the time. An MCU push seems unlikely. They would literally have to deal with completely recontextualizing my powers and gimmick”

“Let’s ask her what you should do.” Gren motioned her way to the suddenly appearing long hair future Gwen, looming over them like The Attack of the 50 foot Woman for some reason. Dwarfing the roof they are on. Let’s call her BIGwen!

Gold Guns Girls

As BIGwen acclimated to her surroundings she stubbed her toe on a car, dramatically flipping it so that it took out a few more lobsters before caving in a nearby house. The lamentations about clean rooms soaring as the remaining couple dozen of them attempt to clean up some of the bodies of their fallen kin. The large and sort-of-in-charge Gwen hissed in pain and adjusted her boot. Getting her balance as best as possible she muttered curses that traveled rather well considering the lung capacity of a giant.

“You know,” Gren started, “I wasn’t expecting much from our previous uses of the ‘make her big for emphasis’ trick, but it really does only work as a vague ghostly background element. I didn’t just want it to be ‘oh, here's a third Gwen for the conversation, though. Would lack umph.”

“ Yeah, I get it, but staring at my own giant taint is unsettling.” Gwen muttered.

“I’d still, hit it.” Gren grinned, then immediately got punched in the arm. “OWWW! Look, I’m the evil one here and we’re in a fanfic. I’m allowed to make internet fetish jokes.”

“And I’m allowed to hit you for it.”.

“Dirty lampshading goody two shoes. Don’t act like half your fanbase isn’t thirsty. It’s “insert current year argument”, all art is sexy to someone.” Gren complained back,rubbing her arm before hopping off the roof. Gwen followed while listening as patiently as she could considering how many changes in topic her evil-caped self is going through to get to her point. “This chick is the reason you’ve been on the path of good girl. Some vague idea that in the future everything will work out for the best. HEY, DOWN HERE, BIG SHOW!” Gren waved at BIGwen and she looked down curiously.

“Yeah what??” BIGwen responded in a booming and agitated tone. Honestly, being in this fic made every version of Gwen a little grumpy.

“How’s she supposed to be a popular hero that makes it into the MCU and has a stable publication history?” Gren asked.

“Fuck if I know.” Came BIGwen’s response. “Have you tried growing your hair out?”

“Rub it in,” Gwen muttered under her breath, “I’m not gonna lie, I’m kind of depressed now.” Gwen said as she sat on an abandoned car.

Gren hopped on the roof of the car, patting Gwen’s shoulder before squatting with enough force to flex the car’s shocks like a rocking chair just to amuse herself. “Future “good” Gwen wasn’t an actual plot point, it was a call to action to the fans to make fanfic like this and support the character outside of the actual Canon. Chris didn’t trust that Marvel would treat the character right. That, and your obsession with getting a new book, are both the writer’s attempt to turn a marketing tactic into fan engagement. If you want to be real then that makes the fans want you to be real even more, too.”

Gwen sighs heavily and leans her chin on one hand. “I mean...the time traveling through the life of an NPC fan complete with a Never Ending Story reference was a bit sappy even by the standard we sometimes set...damn it it really was just kind of a fan manipulation trick wasn’t it?”

BIGwen Sat down on the street next to them and crossed her legs. “Hey, little me. Don’t get too down. I mean it worked for the most part. You have a healthy cult following. Characters have survived on less and there are worse things to be known for then as a fan first character”

“But I have to fight for attention all the damn time, though. It’s so easy for Wade with his fucking meme bullshit. He even gets runoff enthusiasm from me. Jeff the land shark is all over Oldpool online” Gwen felt rather heavy and tired all of a sudden. Marvel editorial forcing a gun to your head is not a fun way to be.

“All that fight is hell on the fanbase too.” Gren sighed. “Advocating for shit, getting crumbs and being expected to accept it while Disney lavishes all the attention based on some bullshit numbers game. Even if you make it into the MCU will it be a Batroc style cameo with obligatory ‘killed off in case we don’t feel like paying the actor again later.’ Will it be an emotionally rounded character or an ambush bug style joke? The thing is. You're Not the one fighting and you never were.”

“The fuck do you mean?”

“This version of her doesn’t know?” BIGwen whimpered.

“You aren’t real, Gwen.”

Head Like a Haunted House

“No….we aren’t having this conversation. Fuck you fuck you i’m not a fucking Nihlist and i’m not going to do this right now.” Gwen said as she scrambled off of the car and pulled out some guns. BIGwen then picked her up off the ground.

“You need to hear this, Gwen,” BIGwen boomed. “The gimmick has run its course. It’s fucking with your canon. You’re never going to be a marketable character keeping up a half fourth-wall Kayfabe”

Gren climbed onto BIGwen’s Shoulders and perched over Gwen all menacing like. “You need to listen. I’ve been trying to ease you into this. Making things more meta slowly until you were ready but it was never going to be easy.”

One of Gwen’s guns was fired from it’s holster and pierced one of BIGwen’s fingers. BIGwen screamed and her grip loosened. Soon Gwen was on the move running up her arm and firing at Gren, who dodged like the nimble and cute badass she is. “Don’t do this Gwen. Just because it doesn’t matter to the comic version of you doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter.”

“I’m a real person god damn it! I read the comics out there! I came in! That’s why I know shit I shouldn't know. That’s what I am! THAT’S ALL I AM!” Gwen shrieked as she pulled out a sword from hammer-space and decapitated BIGwen. Suddenly a mess of colored streamers and a pile of Mickey Mouse merch tumbled out. Look, I am busy right now. Gwen is still slashing at my ass. I'm not going to explain it.

For some reason now the remaining lobsters were helping Gren. For Gwen’s own good you understand. This is proof that I’m right for some reason.

Gwen pulled out a revolver, firing pumpkin sized holes in lobsters who were still wailing about self actualization. She fully planned on shoving a sword up her evil self’s ass and getting rid of this doppelganger shit for good. Which is total bullshit by the way. She totally just cut off Gren’s leg because what the fuck you mean I’m not real? I’m going to be real all over your corpse.

Gren didn’t really think that was even a good comeback and also thought you should probably say it instead of meta willing the smack talk into existence, otherwise this fanfic is going to read like trash. Also, Gren’s leg wasn’t actually cut off. In a puff of smoke it is revealed that the cut off leg is a log and her leg is fine. Gren is a ninja now, believe it.

Gwen proceeded to do a sick ass CQC judo throw on Gren and then grab her cape and wrap it around her face like Reed suggested. Callbacks for the win! Callbacks to Checkov’s gun ideas always lead to victory in fights! She then totally shot at her and such.

But the bullet was caught by the cape because the cape was a symbiote! That’s right Gren is also GRENOM!...boy that sounds stupid. Anywho, the cape was no longer around her face and the fight continued and Gren now ALSO had extra powers and special wizard-symbiote armor (that would only show up in the MCU version if Marvel finally got the Sony characters back). The meta powers work like shit in text but this would be really good in CGI or animation if Marvel wanted to adapt this fic and give the writer lots of money. Gren still has more experience with them, though, and Gwen can’t really just kill her way out of this fic so she has to just let the story play out.

…...eh?....oh Gwen’s crying. I love/am you girl but we gotta work on the crying. Fucks sake this is harder than I thought. I’m depressed now too. Well I'll try to get the writing back on track so you guys can see what is going on. Even the lobsters are minding their manners now. Chill vibes, guys.

“The marvel character page for Gwenpool says, and I quote:

Gwenpool arrived in the Marvel Universe from the “real world,” but has wasted no time in making the most of her time in her fictional universe. Using her knowledge of comics to her advantage, Gwenpool causes and solves problems for her fellow heroes.”

Gren drags a lobster corpse slowly toward Gwen and sits on its tail as she talks to her. Taking her time to really scrape the lobster against the ground, smearing the gore on the pavement. Not that it was heavy for her or anything. Totally still has that symbiote, which would make moving it easy. Totally wasn’t a detail added in the second revision of the fic slightly before the lobsters were added.

“The words “Real world” are in quotation marks in that wiki. Real people don’t make it into comics because fiction isn’t real. Half of your versions barely make use of the ‘real person’ gimmick because it’s too meta by half and not every writer wants to waste time justifying it. So they just treat it like Deadpool’s medium awareness. Which it mostly is.”

“I really am just a fucking rip off distaff character.” Gwen moans. “Just a Gwen combined with a Pool. I’m worse than the Batman who laughs. I never mattered because I was never real”

“Fuck don’t say that. You were made with love and care by a team of creators who took a weird offshoot idea and built out a compelling metafiction idea and a likeable protagonist off of it. They just didn’t have the time and foresight to go far enough.” Gren sighed.

“Far enough?” Gwen sniffed as she was pulled up to her feet and dragged toward one of the big castles. As they walked Gren kicked along a Mickey Mouse doll that had rolled out of BIGwen’s severed head. Every time it bounced it cheerfully said ‘hahah. I love you!’

“Too much haha, not enough trauma. You’re not just a joke character.” Gren said as she kicked the Mickey doll into the big front door of the castle. The shadowy thing of course lighting up and being all fantasy and shit as the door opened.

“Well I did end both of my comic runs pretty mopey.”

“Damn right you did. When the jokes run thin they run to your real bread and butter. You’re an empathy machine.” As Gren shoves Gwen through the gate they are swallowed up in the castle, going dark again. “Let’s getcha sad clown on.”

Never there

“See, what evil me should have been telling you about in the original run is how to find meaning and purpose when technically nothing means anything. Comic book characters live in a world without real death and suffering. It’s all a puppet show version of real pain and real emotion meant to bring that out of an audience.” Gren opined as they walked through a black void to a couch floating in a nothing area lit only by the static of an old TV.

“Can we turn on a light?” Gwen asked as she sat on the couch. Gren sat on another recliner that suddenly appeared and put her feet up.

“Fuck off. Ambiance is a thing. We aren’t having a ‘lights on with something fun on the TV’ conversation. So look, I am not really ‘evil gwen.’ I’m half an author insert and half a plot device. If we are talking about the reality of the story you are basically talking to yourself. I am speaking about the things you don’t want to admit to yourself. You know, you’ve seen this kind of story sorta... right?” Gren picked up the remote and frustratedly changed channels between a bunch of vaguely illustrative footage on the TV, not finding anything that worked. A lot of black and white footage of trains for some reason. Just what comes to mind when I think of documentary footage? Weird.

“I am not sure how to illustrate this shit visually and this is a text story anyway so I would have to explain the illustration,” Gren griped.

“I basically get it. It’s not that uncommon a trope.” Gwen nodded.

“Because of the level of meta we are on right now we have to really acknowledge that you are basically an author insert, too. I mean, to a certain extent every version of you is more the writer that is working with your character at the time than a set character.” Gren said as she settled on a visual of Gwen being pushed out the window by her own narration text in the original comic run. When all else fails, resort to footage from the last story. That way people can look it up online!

“Right here is where the character crystallized in the mind of the author of the current fic we are in. A vague suicide metaphor wrapped up in the flavor of self destructive escapism. Your parents in the story thought it was a suicide attempt on at least some level. This is serious business. Not just a girl who doesn’t like work and can’t finish her fanfic. In this comic you are built on this understanding. The writer of this fic has ADHD and autism. So his version of you more or less has it, too. Writers bring themselves with them into their work.”

Gwen nods and takes a deep breath. “I….I can feel it. Like the world is closing around you. You aren’t built for anything that anyone wants from you. The one thing you really believe in, the one thing that really defines you, the stories in your head…..it’s just not enough.

You can’t trust you’ll ever make it with writing because you can barely write. You barely have the energy to do anything but wish that you weren’t you. What if someone actually listened? Actually believed in you and whisked you away somewhere else where the world would fit your needs? What if you were someplace you could be someone else, someone strong and confident?”

“Yeah. Like a funny anti hero in a comic for instance.” Gren nodded. “But the original comics sort of left the theme on the table. They were captured by the misconception of Gwen as the problem and not a person who needed help. All that desperation that real fans of the character might feel just bundled up into love for this character that really ‘gets’ them but Marvel doesn’t ‘get’ the character. They won't use her. They won’t go past vaguely gesturing at her mental issues and moving on. They saved the angst for Wandavision.” Gren scoffs.

“I mean the show was okay but they literally have a character built entirely on the theme of escapism and trauma. One that’s custom built for mind-screw visuals and reality bending plots and they think she’s just a lazy fangirl who really likes guns that they can sit beside Deadpool sometimes and stick in the X-Men’s bloated background character roster when they don’t need her.”

Gren leads Gwen off the couch and deeper into the void where a door to a bedroom waits. A room like her own, absolutely slopping over with old toys of comic book characters. An unclean messy space in a run-down house that smells faintly of cigarette smoke. Huddled in bed, reading an 80s era X-men comic with a flashlight, is a 12 year old Gwen.

“This is never going to be canon but this is the version of Gwen in this fic. She can’t stop crying at school. Things that shouldn’t be hard are so hard and she can’t explain why. Everyone says she’s making excuses. Meanwhile her mother is fucked out of her mind on pain killers and her step father killed himself last year ‘cleaning his gun’ while drunk. You know exactly what is on her mind right now?” Gren says as she gestures at the girl.

“I wish the superheroes would save me from this.”

“They won’t. They can’t. They were never meant to.” Gren Slams the door loudly on the scene.

“That is the emotional core of Gwenpool in this fic. The desperation that so many of the fans down here in the fucking muck of the real world feel. Poor and emotionally unfulfilled. Confused and vulnerable. If Disney and Marvel gave two fucking shits about people like that they wouldn’t waste as many stories as they do. They wouldn’t just use untold wealth to make expensive escapist stories with the military. Their gestures toward progressive ideas that they occasionally make in their stories would be THE ENTIRE POINT of their stories and the actual thing they used that money for instead of lobbying the government to keep Mickey Mouse out of the public domain.

“Disney has the power yet they save a fucking miniscule fraction of who they could. Saving people doesn’t make money.”

When I Get To The Green Building

Gren stormed through the void. The scene disintegrated around her as Gwen followed. Both now in a bit of a sour mood but with newfound determination.

“Come to think of it. Why is the fucking Hulk getting to fight for social justice in the comics? Why are they making a gay alternate universe Captain America? Why are they grasping at straws so hard to find characters that get to advocate and I am just sitting on a fucking island being grumpy?” Gwen groused. “I’m pretty sure I’m pansexual….at least in this fic. I could advocate for a bunch of shit at once.”

“You have a youth fanbase, a unique story and you technically aren’t an alternate universe version of fucking anything no matter how many people still think you are a Stacey. They made a fucking ‘for the fans’ character and then neglected it. Presumably because some fucking money making metric didn’t pan out despite the comics just being an MCU test kitchen and IP farm anyway.”

“You’re a fucking check mark on a ledger. I don’t even know if anyone technically created Gwenpool as a whole and Disney/Marvel can give the character to whoever they want to do whatever they want completely separate from what the fanbase wants and needs because she isn’t established. The IP landlords have spoken. The fans haven’t risen to enough ‘buy my merch’ calls to action to invest more resources. So tease endlessly until that changes.”

“Gah. Now I'm actually as pissed as you are.” Gwen said as she started fiddling with her guns. “Who do I kill?”

“We can’t do shit. You’re not even a character at this point. You are a meme for an underused character.” Gren smirked all evil like. “See but that’s it. You aren’t just a meme. You’re a MEME.”

“Uhm...I don't follow.”

“Like the concept of Justice. Gwenpool is an idea. Defined entirely by how people who engage with the idea choose to engage with it. The IP law means Disney owns Gwenpool but they don’t own how Gwenpool is perceived. Just like we as a people decide what justice is through popular consent we also decide what Gwenpool is. You see they made a character for the fans…..in my opinion that means the fans can do as they like with it even if it makes Disney uncomfortable.”

“I mean they can’t even stop porn of their characters just because of the sheer volume of the problem. I suppose people could do whatever.” Gwen nodded.

“Exactly. So the fans should just fucking Occupy Gwenpool!” Gren said as she flipped her cape dramatically with a mad smile on her face. That’s right. She was Dirtbag Leftist Gwen all along!

“Squat on that IP. Make Gwenpool a mental health advocate. Make her an LGBTQ activist. Make her fight for social and financial justice so hard that Bruce Banner looks like a poser. Make her talk shit about politicians who put their career ahead of the people. Do all the shit that makes the comicsgate crowd sad. Keep politics in our stories! Rally around that pink and white ass so hard they have to notice and then tie it all to the fact that Disney has great power and with great power they take no responsibility for how shitty the world is.”

“ If they are going to fuck Gwenpool fans they gotta learn Gwenpool fans fuck back. We have already proven we can make all kinds of cool shit. Let’s get serious and make more, harder, faster! Get a hashtag or some shit. They can't DMCA all of us! GWEN IS OURS WE JUST HAVE TO REACH OUT AND TAKE IT. Then they either respect the character and her fans or they just hit a PR disaster.”

“Marvel/Disney neglects fan focused cult character themed protest movements. Proves they are only progressive when it makes them money. They’re so worried about Mickey ending up in the public domain? We’re the public domain! After our entire lives stannin their characters and buyin their merch building them from an animation house into a juggernaut they are just another weight on top of the boot on our necks. They have to take responsibility!” At this point Gren is pretty much ranting maniacally and neglecting the actual writing of the story so this is Gwen taking over to wrap up.

Guys I may not be ‘the real Gwen’ but really, isn’t the version of Gwen that actually came from the real world all of us? Isn’t Gwenpool really the Gwens we made along the way? We could easily bring a little heroism and chaos to the real world (at least to the internet) if we really tried. Put the fear of God into some IP landlords and fight for some cool people that society is screwing over, too.

Prove that even in the fandom abyss people aren’t as powerless as they seem. Use that internet comic fan mobbing for something besides giving Zack more money. Disney is gearing up for their next IP fight for Mickey in 2024. Seems like a fine time for IP themed protests. For now we just need to spread the word that our needs are more important than their profits.

It’s been real. It’s been long. It’s been a real long time coming…..

But I finally finished my fanfic.

See ya, true believers.

#gwenpool #fanfic #deconstruction #outofloveiswear #fortheoriginalwritersnotmarvelordisney #tw mental health #tw mentions of suicide #tw mentions of drug abuse #tw violence #tw gun violence

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in-a-cave-with · 5 years ago

Note

can you make a list of every mavel comic you've ever read (good and bad) i just finished iron man (1998) and i thoroughly loved it with all its best and weird bits

GOOD™

iron man stuff:

tales of suspense (1963) – a classic. 100/10. would read several times

iron man vol 1 (1968) – i’m on, like, issue 20 out of 300 something but it’s also very very good! the drama..the action……..wig

iron man vol 3 (1998) – obv i know youve read this one anon but for anyone out there starting comics this one’s SUPER good, and also Love Is Stored In The Tonyru

iron man vol 4 (2005) – listen this comic. so great, so iconic. maya hansen! epic fights! director stark! good art except for, like, the 6 issues of execute program but execute program is such a good story arc that you wont even notice!

iron man noir (2010) – INDIANA JONES AU TONY STARK, LITERALLY THE BEST CONCEPT MARVEL’S COME UP WITH. PEAK COMICS IRONFAM

iron man legacy (2010) – i enjoyed this one a lot! i’m kind of confused as to, like, what’s going on but it’s fun

iron man season one (2013) – ok so this is, like, a modern remake of tony’s origin story and it’s..kind of average imo but thats ok! bc you can just look at the very very pretty pictures

iron man fatal frontier (2013) – tony becomes governor of the moon and fights doom! also he takes down an ai with weaponized fanfiction somewhere in there. read this one with a .cbr reader

invincible iron man vol 2 (2015) – gonna maybe fuck around and rec bendis’ entire iron man run bc . the art is gorgeous and the story isn’t the strongest but tony’s characterization is v good

international iron man (2016) – ok i dont remember what happens in this one but alex maleev’s art is literally god

invincible iron man vol 3 (2016) – RIRI WILLIAMS!!!! AND ALSO AI TONY STARK (MY SON MY BOY WHOM I LOVE)!!!!

other stuff:

new avengers vol 1 (2005) – as i have said before. new avengers GOT the sauce. stevetony and caroljess on one team was too powerful so marvel had to break em up with civil war . also stop reading this comic when you get to civil war

civil war: casualties of war (2007) and civil war: the confession (2007) – these are both oneshot comics and also the Only Civil War Content You Need To Subject Yourself To

spider-man noir (2010) – a break from the avengers stuff to tell you that this comic is very brutal and also very good

secret invasion (2010) – ok avengers emh did it better™ but this is still very neat! also it’s pretty trippy so its got that going for it too

siege (2010) – i dont understand what’s going on but the art is very good. also the avengers get to beat up norman osborn’s bitch ass

avengers prime (2011) – apparently this is the “stevetony bible” and …honestly there isn’t anything i can say in objection to that

avengers vol 4 (2010) – this comic is SUPER fun. after the fear itself tie ins the art and story get pretty eugh though so be careful

fear itself (2012) – BEST BEST BEST!!! my favorite crossover event in comics, with cool art and a badass storyline

captain marvel vol 4 (2012) – can we get a yeehaw for CAROL DANVERS . hell yeah. this is her first run with the name captain marvel and it’s Very Good

avengers: the enemy within (2014) – captain marvel vol 4 ends on a cliffhanger and the storyline’s capped off here

avengers vol 5 (2013) – ok so *clown noises* i haven’t exactly finished it but…this is the One Was Life The Other Was Death comic and it’s super good from what ive read so far

hawkeye (2013) – matt fraction’s run! everyone and their dog wants you to read it and you absolutely should if you have not. not too sure abt the volume numbering but heres a link to download in TPBs, it’s volumes 1-4

captain marvel vol 5 (2014) – this is the volume featuring chewie (!!) and carol in outer space with the guardians of the galaxy (!!!). super fun in general, would read again

ms marvel (2014) – again i am VERY confused as to what the official issue/volume numbering is, but here’s a list of TPBs that collect pretty much every kamala khan comic pre 2019 (im gonna rec all of them bc kamala is a treasure)

doctor strange vol 3 (2015) – literally everything i want from a comic tbh, also chris bachalo’s art is amazing

marvel 1872 (2015) – no one actually calls this Stevetony Bible 2 but lbr it’s basically Stevetony Bible 2

all-new all-different avengers (2015) – BEST AVENGERS TEAM EVER. EVER. PLEASE BENDIS WHY DID YOU BREAK THIS TEAM UP IM SAD

the unbelievable gwenpool (2016) – oh god oh fuck it’s miss GWEN POOLE . this comic is super funny and also surprisingly heartfelt, plus the art is . mmm.

champions (2016) – the gen z superhero team, i love all of them so much. i can almost forgive marvel for ending anad avengers

hunt for wolverine: adamantium agenda (2018) – so this is, after 11 goddamn years, closure for the first civil war regarding tony and the new avengers that sided with steve. amazing.

the life of captain marvel (2018) – the carol origin retcon is…eh. but it’s still very good! think of it as carol’s international iron man

avengers: back to basics (2018) – kamala goes back in time and accidentally reveals tony’s secret identity and it’s the funniest fucking thing

captain marvel (2019) – the first issue is everyone bullying tony which sucks but DONT LET THAT GET YOU DOWN bc it’s, like, actually good and also tony appears more in later issues without getting bullied

war of realms (2019) – i guess it’s a marvel rule that all crossover comics having to do with asgard are Top Notch? anyway

loki (2019) – AMAZING loki shenanigans and also the REAL reason you needed to read war of realms tbh

ironheart (2019) – gosh i love riri williams so much she’s so GREAT and you should DEFINITELY READ THIS

QUESTIONABLE™:

invincible iron man vol 1 (2008) – matt fraction’s iron man run…it’s ..ok story wise? however the characterization is a lil off at times and the art is HORRIBLE

iron man vol 5 (2013) – ok so this comic is super weird ? because it’s nice that tony spends time out in space but also it confirms that he’s a furry apparently. pretty much the only truly average iron man comic

avengers vol 8 (2018) – okay so i really like the art and the story’s okay but there’s a bit where tony flirts w carol and it’s the most ooc thing ive ever seen and that’s enough to land it in the questionable category

tony stark: iron man (2018) – i debated over whether to put this here or in the Bad™ category BUT valerio schiti’s art is too beautiful and the rhodeytony content fuels me. also issues 12 and 13 (war of realms) written by gail simone are pretty good. unfortunately dan slott wrote the rest and it AINT IT CHIEF

gwenpool strikes back (2019) – it starts off strong in the first issue but goes downhill from there and tbh it’s not really respectful of the previous gwenpool run

magnificent ms marvel (2019) – ok listen i love kamala a lot but if theres gonna be a romance plot between her and bruno it’s the electric chair

BAD. AVOID AT ALL COSTS™

iron man vol 2 (1996) – just. don’t touch this. it’s a hot mess

civil war (2006) – i hate this. so much. it’s unreal. all you need to know is that steve was real close to killing tony in the end but surrendered when he saw that he no longer had the moral high ground. and also steve got assassinated right before he was going to be put on trial

mighty avengers (2007) – this comic had the potential to be SO good. unfortunately the artists for the actual avengers issues don’t respect women at all

superior iron man (2015) – they made tony evil and i could not be more angry with it. who even fucking wants to read this theres not even any emotional payoff for any of this

civil war ii (2016) – i would hit this stupid comic in the knees if i could. there is not a single c*vil w*r with rights. all you need to know is that carol put tony into a coma and it’s super ooc

iron man 2020 (2020) – listen i know this comic hasn’t come out yet but it has all the ingredients to be EVEN WORSE than superior iron man which is saying a lot.

this took way too much effort

#long post #tony stark #iron man #comics rec #i have read..many comics

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feenyreadscomics · 5 years ago

Text

Team Red visits area 51

So, this is my first attempt at writing a true team Red fanfic. Anyways, for context, all three have worked together before, but Peter dosent know who DD is (just that he's a lawyer) and DD only knows that Peter is in high school. Both DD and Peter know who Deadpool is. Deadpool doesn't know who Spiderman is, but knows who DD is. Slight change to what's in Area 51. First, theres what's actually in area 51 (spoilers, not saying here) but the meme of this universe is that's where the cryptids are (vampires, zombies, werewolves, etc.) Also, the group invading Area 51 features some inserts, because at least some people need to show up to raid Area 51. Gwenpool shows up and uses her powers, so it gets a bit meta, since for Gwenpool it is a super powers thing, not a mental illness thing. All glory to @morepopcornplease ,@smokeyloki @supesofherown for willing to be my area 51 squad

Matt was tired.

There were robots everywhere. Robots on the ceiling, on the floor, just...robots. They were difficult to track, and, more importantly, difficult to punch. Matt's knuckles bled. The suit helped, but not enough.

When did Hell's Kitchen get so wild? Matt wondered. Then suddenly, Matt's world blurred and flipped. He was hanging upside down by his ankle.

"Hey, Double D! Hope you don't mind me bringing in some reinforcements!"

Ah. Spiderman. And oh look. (Or not.) Deadpool. Daredevil gagged. The stench of decay was...distinctive.

Matt started tugging at the webbing around his ankle. It wouldn't unstick. Maybe he should start weilding swords. That way, he could cut himself free and escape while he had a chance.

Maybe he could get Elekra to show him how to use knives.

Deadpool jumped past him, dualweilding katanas. "Eyyyyy! Horn head joined the party!" Matt grumbled under his breath.

Deadpool and Spiderman fought side by side, Spiderman webbing down robots, and Deadpool either shooting or stabbing them. Meanwhile, Matt gnawed at his ankle. Eventually the flow of robots stopped. Deadpool cut Daredevil down.

Deadpool and Spiderman looked around, and fist bumped. Matt coughed loudly.

"I had it under control."

"Because that-" Deadpool gestured around them "-was in control."

"Could have taken care of it."

Deadpool walked over and placed his hands on Matt's shoulders. Matt wrinkled his nose. "Red, you were punching bare metal. With your fists. Let me see them." Deadpool went to grab Matt's hands. Matt pulled them away. Deadpool forcibly grabbed Matt's hands and took off his gloves.

"See? Perfectly fine."

"Ah yes, bloody knuckles are perfectly fine. Now, Webhead has a special mission he wants to invite you on. After that, you're gonna go home to your boy and he's gonna kiss your boo boos better."

"He's not my boy."

"He could be."

"He's married, I'm Catholic and I'm not interested."

"Suurree." Deadpool dropped Matt's hands. "If you are looking for someone else, you know where to find me." Deadpool wiggled his eyebrows, which caused his mask to shift a bit. Matt punched Deadpool. Deadpool laughed.

"See ya hornhead." Deadpool walked off.

"Catholic?" Spidey asked.

"Yep."

"Hmm, ironic considering..." Spiderman gestured to Matt, "...everything."

"Yeah. Ya got a question?:

"Oh yeah, wanna go to area 51 with me and Deadpool?"

"Spidey, I have a buisness to run. No."

"Oh come on! You should."

"Why?"

"Do it for the alien tech. Do it for the meme. Do it because we don't know what the government is hiding in there." Spiderman paused for dramatic effect. "We need to know if vampires really exist. You can't keep that stuff from people."

"No, and you're going to get arrested for it." Matt sighed. "Listen, if you're going to go, can I at least give you this?" Matt pulled a buisness card out of his suit, and handed it over to Spidey.

"Nelson and Murdock, attorneys at law?" Spiderman raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah. I have them on speed dial in case I get arrested. Call them if you need legal help."

"Got it."

Matt tumbled into Foggy's apartment. Foggy materialized from his bedroom, bleary eyed.

"Here for checkup." Matt smiled.

"Good. I'll bring you some clean clothes. What bandages do you need? Do we need to call the Night Nurse?" Matt and Foggy had this check up system in place so they wouldn't have to bother her with minor wounds and Foggy could sleep soundly, such as twisted ankles and jammed fingers.

"Nope. Knuckles just need bandaging."

"Good. Though it says something about our lives that you are hurt at all, and I'm saying its fine."

"I know, Fogs." Foggy started applying rubbing alchohol to Matt's knuckles. Matt hissed a bit. "I miss the old days. When there were fewer heroes running around." Matt paused.

"Not when we didn't need spandex clad idiots?"

Matt snorted and thought about it for a bit. "Nah. I guess we always needed them."

"What did the idiots do this time?"

"They want to raid area 51."

"You're shitting me."

"Nope."

"They really are complete dumbasses. Utter morons." Foggy paused. "They'll be out of town for it, right?"

"Yeah..."

"You know where they live, right?"

"Just Wade."

"You could prank him."

"Hmmm... would you help?"

"If you can make sure he doesn't murder me." Foggy finished bandaging Matt's hands. "You're good to go. Do you need a change of clothes?"

"Yeah."

Foggy retrieved some sweatpants and a tshirt. He also got a paper bag out.

"Okay, I got a change of clothes, and a paper bag."

"Thanks, Foggy. You're the best."

"Text or call me when you're home safe."

"Will do."

Peter was out in the New Mexico desert, and it was nice. Warm. New York was cold. Peter was cold in New York. All the time.

DD thought it was because something with the Spider bite giving him a few cold blooded drawbacks. Wade thought it was because Peter was too skinny.

Which was because the bite fucked up his metabolism, he supposed.

But for now Peter was in the desert, and warm. It was pleasant.

For five seconds, more or less. He heard chatting, and decided to follow it.

He found a group of four people camped out in the desert, discussing strategies for getting into Area 51. They were all some degree of sunburned, sharing water bottles, and arguing about if they could expect anyone else to show up. Peter waved at them.

"Hello!" One of them responded.

"Oh, hey Spidey!" One of them yelled. She waved him over.

"Glad you could join us."

"We have a chance now!" One of them pumped her fist.

"Smokey, are these your reinforcements?"

"Hi, so, you're obviously Spiderman, I'm V, and this is Smokey," V, apparently, gestured to someone wearing a fedora, apparently Smokey, "Supes," V pointed to a woman in a Superman tshirt, "and Popcorn!" V gestured to a woman wearing a tank top that had "The only iron I pump is the IRON WILL OF GOD" on it.

"Popcorn?"

"She ate all the popcorn!" Smokey complained. Peter tilted his head.

"Smokey did most of the planning, including rations." Supes commented.

"Okay... I should be having a friend meet me here soon!"

"Awesome! Is he in the raid?"

"Yeah."

"Cool. We should talk strategy, while we wait for him to get here..."

So they figured that Deadpool would charge into Area 51 as a distraction. Once the guards left to fight him, the group of four would try to scale the fence. While the fence scaling was going on, Spidey would crawl through the drainage pipe to grab whatever paranormal stuff he could find. Leading an army, Spiderman would free the rest of them, allowing them to return home safely.

When Deadpool finally showed up, he laughed at their faces.

"Spidey, you're smarter than this. This isnt gonna work. Besides, I'm expecting one other person. She will help you out. A lot."

"Hello!" A loud, high pitched voice yelled from behind them.

Deadpool and Spiderman turned to see the pinkest person they had ever set eyes on.

Peter had thought Wade was crazy. Wade had thought Wade was crazy.

This was nothing compared to Gwen Poole. She was pink and energy, and mostly talked nonsense. Something about this all being fanfiction, and a disappointing lack of panels. Also, according to her, one of the four "self inserts" was "the author."

Wade thought he could keep up, but no. Whatever the fuck voices were in his head paled in comparison to whatever Gwen had.

Like, Deadpool occasionally thought he was in a comic, but she seemed to be able to do something about it. Dead silent explosions because "I caught the otomotapeia," inexplicable escapes...

Cuz if there's real weird shit in there, she can handle it.

As is though, she kept calling one of the people "the author" and it was making his own head spin. That's... not normally how this went. But she'd be going with the four civilians in. She'd be able to keep them alive.

And so it begins.

The plan started to fall apart immediately.

Deadpool was doing fine, Spiderman was doing fine.

Gwen and V were in a heated arguement.

"What do you mean, you didn't write any scenes inside area 51?"

"I told you, I don't know what you're talking about! Besides, don't you have powers? Can't you do something about it?"

"Not in a fanfic! Not in normal literature! The format matters. I can manipulate comic panels, not THIS SHITSHOW."

"Uh, guys? I think the Feds are here." Popcorn piped up.

"Hands up!" A man yelled. They all slowly put their hands up.

Deadpool made it in. He found a cat named Goose in a cage. He picked it up and continued running through the halls.

He ran into Spiderman. Literally. They both shouted.

"Glad to see you're alive! Do you know where Gwen's squad went?"

"Yeah, I saw them getting arrested just before making it in. And look! I found a cat!" Wade proudly held the cat up to Peter. Voices shouted from behind them.

"WADE! WE NEED TO GET THEM!"

Oh. Right.

"So, any ideas?"

"Stop!" A voice called out behind Deadpool.

The duo ran through the halls, left and right, trying to lose the gaurds. Spidetman opened a door they found, a supply closet. Spiderman opened the cage, and sat the cat on Wade's lap. Spiderman threw the cage down the hall.

"What the fuck was that for?" Deadpool furiously whispered.

"Distraction," Spiderman whispered back.

The guards immediately opened the supply closet. The cat hissed. Then, he opened his mouth. Wide.

Tentacles shot out from the cat's mouth, wrapping around the guard. He let out a shriek, cut short by Goose swallowing him whole.

Deadpool and Spiderman looked at the cat, eyes wide.

"I like you," Deadpool declared, firmly.

The other five were in a metal truck.

"Do you have any way out?" Smokey asked.

"No. We're gonna be tried for treason." Supes commented.

"If only the others could get us out of here." V added.

"Wait. That's it."

"What do you mean, that's it?"

"I can get out of here. You wrote something just now of Spidey and Deadpool back at Area 51. I can go there now, let them know where we are, which is in a metal truck, headed to... damn. Don't know definitively, but it's a shot. Just give me a moment..." Gwen pushed on something, and floated up into the ceiling.

"Well, this just got worse," Smokey commented.

"Hey guys!"

Wade screamed.

"Woah, Gwen, how'd you get here?" Spidey sounded shocked.

"The writer mentioned you in Area 51, so I could come over to visit, through some medium manipulation. "

"Great job, Pinky. Now, where's everyone else? And do you know what the fuck is going on with this cat?" Wade held out Goose.

"No idea. The writer didn't bother informing the audience of their exact location, and two, the cat is a flergen. Now, let me think." Gwen started pacing around the supply closet, muttering to herself.

"Hmmmm.... wait a minute.... I got it!" Gwen shrieked and snapped her fingers. "Ma- DD, gave you a buisness card for himself. Give it to me, and I'll bring it to them, and they'll be able to call him to lawyer them out." Gwen held out her hand. "Gimme." Reluctantly, Spiderman handed it over. "Thanks, Webhead!" Gwen pushed upwards again. Then, she was gone.

Thud!

Gwen fell back into the truck, then grabbed for something.

"Soooooo, what's the plan?" Popcorn asked.

"Sit tight and get Matt Murdock to lawyer us out. He's a crack lawyer, and considering this is fanfic, I imagine he'll be great at it."

"M'Kay." Popcorn said, rolling her eyes.

Matt Murdock was a bit busy at the moment. He was busy saran wrapping Wade's pillows. Foggy was trying to cram a rubber duck into a shampoo bottle. Well, Wade's shampoo. Foggy didn't get why the guy had it (Wade was bald) but he figured he'd ask no questions. Just prank.

Matt's phone rang. An unknown number. He picked up.

"Hello! This is Matthew Murdock. Who is this?"

"Hello, this is Gwen Poole, friend of Spiderman, in need of legal counsel. Would you be able to help?"

"Where are you? Is Spiderman or Deadpool with you?"

"No. I'm with four other civilians. We are in New Mexico."

"Shit. I can't exactly make it over there."

"Shit."

Foggy yelped in surprise, then cheered. "Got it in!"

Gwen thought for a bit. "What if we book an airline for you to get here."

Matt thought about it. "That could work."

The next morning, Foggy drove Matt to the airport, grumbling the whole way.

"They're idiots, Matt, you shouldn't have to save them." Matt began staring (as best he could) at his hands.

"Its a Catholic guilt thing, isn't it?" Foggy sighed. "Fine, go be a lawyer hero while I singlehandedly keep the firm running. It's a good thing I'm the brains of Nelson and Murdock, while you're the beauty."

"I'm not the brawn of Nelson and Murdock?"

"No, that's Karen." Matt cracked a smile.

Foggy pulled up to the curb. "Keep me posted. Let me know when you're coming back and how it goes."

"I will." Matt got out of the car, and grabbed his suitcase.

He waved as Foggy drove away. Deep breaths, Murdock. You can navigate an airport and plane, he thought. Matt entered the airport.

A few hours later, Matt landed in New Mexico, where he couldn't get off the plane fast enough, then took a taxi to where they were being held.

He raised hell. He got everyone (except for Gwen) released that night. New Mexico state troopers had never seen the fury of a Matt Murdock scorned.

Apparently, since everyone was in the middle of the desert, and needed supplies, the threat of death by dehydration was enough to get them all off. Gwen, however, was stuck back in prison, because she was armed, and various other crimes due to being the leader of MODOK. As far as anyone could follow.

Everyone then boarded a plane back to New York.

"Did this just happen?" V asked. "This feels crazy.

"It it really is," Smokey agreed.

Something in the overhead compartment shifted. The stewardess opened it, and Gwen jumped out.

"Thank you!" She said to the stewardess. "Man, that was cramped. Good to be out in the light of day!"

Wade Wilson was looking forward to a relaxing night at home, after the craziness of the past few days. He had Goose tucked in his one arm. He opened his apartment. Little rubber ducks were everywhere. Over the counters, on the bookshelves. He opened the fridge. There was a rubber duck.

Goose meowed, then tentacled the duck.

"That's cannibalism, Goose." Wade put down Goose, then went to nap. His cheek hit saran wrap.

"Fuck you, Murdock!" Wade yelled.

Thanks for reading! I tried to have Gwen's powers make sense, but it's...difficult.

#area 51 #matt murdock #wade wilson #peter parker #daredevil #deadpool #spiderman #team red #fanfiction #fanfic #original content #and some character inserts #hope i didnt ruin anyone's character #oh yeah #gwenpool #gwen poole

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luntica · 5 years ago

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An idea

Summary: reverse of the cards

There I was walking a path few could brag about. Gwenpool coming to mind. Walking in a comic book world as one of them. I was side by side with John Constantine, living my self insert fanfiction dreams. Fighting crime, playing with magic, outsmarting demons and flirting with the occult punk himself.

When I was approached by a young adult. Nothing stood out about this person. Brown hair, brown eyes, hoodie, and slacks. But their look, one I recognized well. That "I just saw something related to my special interest" look. The "fan girl" look. What ever you called it. But there it was staring at me.

"Your [redacted] arnt you?!" They said, shock to my face that they knew my birth name, John next to me confused.

"Sherlock you know this kid?" John asked, using the alias I had picked when I ended up in the magical universe I was now in, sherlock l grayson. I shook my heads as the kid laughed nervously.

"No of course not, I'm just a fan. Your books, I read all of them. " the person explained, not that it made much sense. I had written stories back on my world, but nothing here.

"My books?" I asked, watching the person blink a bit as if realizing what they said.

"Oh, yeah might seem crazy but your a main character in my favorite book series. Your story of preserving dispute your past and diagnosis. Finding love and healing! It's such a romantic story. " the passion in their face, I had seen it before and their story was no different that what I had told John.

What are you supposed to do? What do you say? What expectations and beliefs does this person have of me? Even if what they say is true, they likely still have delusions about the real me. Ive seen it in every fan ever. You build your version of the character. Everything else be dammed.

John and the stranger must have seen me taking a while to respond because John started to try and create space between us and the stranger while the stranger started to look really uncomfortable.

I pushed John aside. Giving him a reassuring look.

"Did I help you? With the story I mean?" I asked getting into a remotely personal space of the stranger, they blushed a bit.

"Ah, yeah, I mean it got me threw really tough times, I guess, you know, that, you, like, I don't know, saved my life. " the nervousness was undeniable.

I gave a nod. And offered a hug. With a quick questioning look before jumping into n.y arms we shared a moment.

"I've got my story to keep living. Time for yours. " I explained with a smile before waving and walking away with John. I couldn't tell you what that person did after. Or what was going threw my heads at the time. I only hope it was the right thing.

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daphenomenal-1 · 7 years ago

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Last Words on “Iceman” and My Hatred for the Marvel Fandom

Just the other day, Marvel Comics have cancelled many series, including “Generation X”, Heather Antos’ “Gwenpool”, Gabby Rivera’s “America” and - the topic of this post - “Iceman”, written by Sina Grace. This has been met with both rousing applause and deep scorn. And everything involving Iceman has proved one thing to me: I fucking hate the Marvel fandom.

Where to begin? Well, let’s start with the catalyst for my hatred, and that of course is the slew of comics coming out post “Civil War II”. CWII was something I was looking forward to. I loved the first one and I believe it’s one of Marvel’s best events ever. And with the movie just coming out when the first issue hit, it seemed primed to blow us all out the water. But…it didn’t. What ended up happening was the genesis of what some people call “SJW Marvel”. Now what does that mean?

A little while before CWII, Marvel started churning out comics with a more diverse-heavy cast of heroes. Kamala Khan, Miles Morales, America Chavez and the like all made appearances before the aforementioned Civil War. However, the term “SJW Marvel” didn’t seem to hit its stride until post Civil War and during the lead in to “Secret Empire” - Marvel’s second failed attempt at an epic event. At its core, the term is used to show how Marvel has moved past telling engaging stories and instead focused on what a character was, not who.

How does this relate to Iceman? In “All New X-Men” #40, Jean Grey basically outs Bobby Drake as gay. Then, later, the young Bobby tells the older one and Old Bobby admits indirectly that he is in fact homosexual. This caused a massive uproar, as many saw this as completely out of Bobby’s character. But the hatred for the new Iceman came to a head in 2017, when Marvel hired Sina Grace to write a solo Iceman series after the nonsense with Secret Empire. But long time comic fans hated this new Iceman comic for one sole reason: because it was bad. Many fans complained about the character designs, The inking, the writing and the characters themselves. However, fans of Iceman saw it differently. They didn’t see comic fans critiquing a series; they saw the outcry about Iceman as being “homophobic”. And it happened again, after “Iceman” was promptly cancelled, odds are by new Marvel EIC C.B. Cebulski.

To preface this: I did not like “Iceman”. Not at all. Call me homophobic if you want to, but my issue with Bobby was not because he was gay. My issue was that being gay was the only thing Bobby had going for him. Think about it: what else has Bobby done to make him a likable hero in his solo? All it did was make him look like a whole asshole. Take for instance in “Iceman” #1, when after he went to the hospital and his father told him that he missed his own mother’s birthday, Bobby says, “I think that was when I was literally saving a friend from apocalypse. I can have an edible arrangement here in no time” (p. 10). Any normal person would never say anything like that, especially not to their parents. The way it’s written shows a lack of genuine concern for missing his mother’s birthday and throws a haphazard “edible arrangement” to try to make it all better. We see this happen again in “Iceman” #2, where both him and Kitty put the safety of this mutant to the side - albeit momentarily- to talk about how him now being gay has affected them both. Even the mutant kid addresses it in what’s suppose to be a comedic line: “You’re gay, she’s emo…can you fools get back to rescuing me?!” (p. 16).

But the most egregious one of all has to be the entirety of Iceman #6. In #6, Iceman and his Champions buddies - Hercules, Angel, Ghost Rider and Darkstar - are mourning the death of Black Widow, their former teammate. However, things take a surprising turn when, in just 4 or 5 pages after some drinks, we see another non-superhero act: he destroys a woman’s Sentinel movie prop because it’s a “hate symbol”. This time, we don’t even need context clues to figure out he doesn’t care. He says it himself that he doesn’t care what it was (p. 9).

Immediately after that, it goes into Iceman meeting Judah, his soon-to-be lover. They talk, Judah asks Bobby on a date to a gay bar, Bobby has his first “gay kiss” (which are not me trying to sound homophobic; they refer to it in the comic [see “Iceman” #6 p. 16 & 17]) and then *boom* Sentinels. End.

The issue with Bobby now is that he went from being a “charming, but cocky guy” to being a complete and utter asshole. Disregarding things with “I’m sorry I had better shit to do” lines, destroying people’s property, and hooking up/dating someone he JUST met that very same day. These aren’t the marks of a superhero; these are traits of a dickhead who cares about nobody but himself. Even going so fast as to coerce his friends with a “pls don’t say no” (p. 12)

Which leads into my hatred for the Marvel fandom. I have been very vocal about my disdain for Iceman and his book, but what I’m hit with isn’t a rational discussion on what the book did right/did wrong. It was “You’re homophobic” or “You’re an MCU stan” (whatever that means) or my favorite: “Iceman is a great story, next argument” without any reasons as to why it’s a great story. This is why I hate the Marvel fandom: because the moment you don’t like something, you’re immediately racist, sexist or homophobic. Hate Ms. Marvel? Racist. Hate Captain Marvel? Sexist. Hate Iceman? Homophobic. You hate America? You’re all three of them! This doesn’t do anything to help your cause. If anything, it makes it worse. Nobody will read a book if you say “if you don’t read it, you hate gay characters and you hate gay people.”

Another reason the series has had poor reception is it’s competition. This is the same year Tom King released “Mister Miracle”, a true modern-day masterpiece that everyone should read. This is also the same year that Sean Gordon Murphy flipped the Bat-script with “Batman: White Knight”. Compared to those two alone, Iceman looks like the worst fanfic you can find. Take some time and read “Mister Miracle” and “White Knight”. They are actually brilliant comics and should be talked about more.

In the end of the day, my problem with Iceman isn’t that he’s gay. My problem is that being gay is all he is. He has no other character traits that makes him likable. He needs to be rebuilt, and the cancellation of the book is a great first step. However, being called homophobic because you don’t like Iceman? That’s wrong and it doesn’t do anything to make people read Iceman. And sales proved it. It consistently produced under 20,000 copies, and if people really cared, they would have read it.

Later on, I’m going to pitch my Iceman story. Where Iceman could have gone to save it’s comic arc. But I hate the Marvel fandom and I’m glad Iceman is cancelled. It needs a change. As always, I invite all to have a conversation about Iceman.

#iceman #marvel #marvel comics #sjw marvel

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bwprowl · 7 years ago

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I can’t believe I almost forgot about WonFes this weekend! Fortunately for you, I will be taking a look at a few things that caught my eye, including some very pleasant surprises. We’ve also got pre-orders up for a couple of Tamashii treats, and an in-hand rundown of a neat new Transformers pack. Welcome to Tuesday Night Toys.

New Stuff: You have to wonder

Summer Wonder Festival snuck up with a little less fanfare than its Wintery counterpart, maybe just because it’s not immediately juxtaposed with ToyFair. But once people started posting pics of things, my interest was piqued, and I started following along. Here’s the highlights I’ve got so far:

Good Smile led the charge with some Nendo and figma announcements. Notably, exposition dispensary and real main character of Re: CREATORS Meteora will be getting a Nendo. I’ll probably have to grab her, this series needs more love.

Lina Inverse from Slayers is also getting a Nendo, a nice bit of GSC’s continued commitment to older properties (though a figma would honestly be cooler).

There were classic figma to be had though, as we got a color look at the upcoming Syaoran, along with Utena and a truly tremendous-looking Kaiba. This is great, Yugi needed at least one dueling opponent.

Most shockingly, and definitely the winner of the day for me, was the announcement of a figma of Kasumi from Dead or Alive! The DOA series is one I’ve hoped would get proper articulated figures for ages now, and this finally delivering makes me pretty dang happy. Kasumi’s looking surprisingly adorable in action figure form here, and I can only hope she does well and leads to others like Ayane, Ryu Hayabusa, Leon, and especially Hitomi getting similar treatment. Bring it on.

The other great left-field figma announcement was a kuroko. These traditional Kabuki assistants are a neat idea for a general figure on their own, but let’s be real: everyone’s mainly going to get them to use with their Shinkenger Figuarts.

There were several other great big announcements this WonFes. Sentinel showed off a Riobot version of the Iron Giant, of all things. I know this one’s going to be in major demand; it looks great and should beat the pants off of the version Mondo made a few years back in terms of affordability and availability.

Figure Complex revealed the next in their Marvel line: Captain America. He continues the dynamic standard expected by the line, and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to wanting him just for how Marvel vs Capcom-ish his proportions and posing-power appear to be. We’re also getting Revoltech versions of Nick and Judy from Disney’s Zootopia, a very surprising announcement that’s welcome all the same (and maybe not too off, considering all the Pixar figures that got the Revoltech treatment a while back).

And in something very personally cool to me, a whole line of mini-figurines based on Marvel characters as drawn by Japanese artist duo Gurihiru was revealed. Gurihiru are possibly my favorite artists in comics right now, so I’m psyched to get toys based on their art. They’re doing the A-list Avengers groups for now, but I really hope they move onto their trademark characters like the Power Pack and Gwenpool later on.

This is just a smattering of what was seen. I’m sure there were plenty of other statues and weird stuff; I’m going to have to trawl through Dengeki Hobby’s pages to see if anything else catches my eye.

Wishlist: Computer bugs

So Figuarts Hongo Takeshi finally went up for pre-order, alongside a genuinely beautiful new version of Kamen Rider #1 himself. Both figures are general releases, thankfully, and look very very good. Takeshi even includes a ‘transformation’ effect part to display with Rider #1 for a very cool-looking setup. My December is already packed, so I really can’t afford/justify these, but they do look great. And I really hope this leads to SHFs of civilian forms of other Riders.

Another notable pre-order up from Bandai is the Digivolving Spirits MetalGarurumon. Much like that WarGreymon from earlier in the year, this one is a high-end recreation of the transforming action figure from way back in 1999. That design was already a pretty impressive bit of engineering, and this adds extra steps, better detailing, expanded posability, and just a whole lot of flare in general. This one is already added to my pre-order list.

On Desk: Orion Packs

We got wind of this ‘Transformers Tribute’ Optimus Prime Evolution pack earlier in the year, and it’s seen release through a few different worldwide outlets. However, I was not aware until this weekend that it could be had through Amazon for just thirty bucks, so that was something I pounced on as soon as I saw it. It’s a cool idea for a redeco packed with a mold I already love, what am I supposed to do?

The main draw is the Titans Return Kup mold done up as Orion Pax (Optimus Prime’s pre-Matrix form) in the spirit of an older e-Hobby exclusive. As such, it works very well (and also looks more than a little like Crosshairs…). This is actually my first experience with the Kup mold, and while this one’s got a few loose joints I’m not crazy about, it’s still a neat toy in the cleverly-engineered spirit of TR. I really love how virtually kibble-free the robot mode is, and how it gets there from a vehicle mode with the leg-panels wrapped almost entirely around it. I’m glad to be checking it out now.

The Optimus Prime in the set, meanwhile, is a surprising-choice reuse of the War for Cybertron OP mold from back in 2010. The deco isn’t too much different on this new version, giving him black windows and swapping all his pink Tron-lines to a vivid blue. One way the colors really do work is how they contrast with Orion Pax. Pax’s reds and blues are much more desaturated than the bold tones on the other figure, and it helps to sell one as an upgrade of the other; it’s a cool effect. All that is secondary, though, to this Optimus Prime just being a really good toy in general. I’m serious, this thing was one of my absolute favorite molds of the year it originally came out, and getting a new version in-hand just reminds me of all the things I love about it. It’s an engineering marvel, with a ton of little technical flourishes to pulling off what was in the video game a pretty cheaty transformation. The robot mode looks big and solid and nicely-designed, and has great range of motion in places like the shoulders and the legs. It’s still just such a nice toy overall.

That all adds up to this pack being well worth the thirty it costs. If you’re on the fence and don’t have either of these molds, I’d say it’s an easy choice. Even if you just want one you don’t have yet, I can still recommend it then. The colors and designs and all of the toys do complement each other well. It’ll be interesting to see what other stuff, if anything, comes out of this Tribute imprint.

Thanks for all that, everyone. I hope you have fun, and I’ll see you next time!

#re:creators #slayers #revolutionary girl utena #Yu-Gi-Oh!#cardcaptor sakura #dead or alive #shinkenger #marvel #zootopia #gurihiru #kamen rider #digimon #transformers #toys #tuesday night toys

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comicbookhangover · 8 years ago

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Bullet Reviews #42

Read Comics, ignore politics.

DEADPOOL THE DUCK #2 (Marvel) You know I had hopes for this one. It’s my fault because I’m still a Steve Gerber Howard the Duck fan and it appears that absolutely no one these days knows how to write the character. I’m not sure what there is to say about it. For some reason Deadpool is willing to help Howard (now a voice in his feathered head) help Rocket Raccoon, an alien he was hired to take care of. That’s the premise and this issue spent a great part of itself spinning its wheels, going nowhere fast. Needless to say I’m dropping it.

DOLLFACE #1 (Action Lab: Danger Zone) This one was nothing short of the most pleasant surprise in a long time. Everything from the art, colors, tone, and characters were different and fun. This is the sort of series that kept me into comics when I started years ago. Dollface is a living sex doll who was given life by way of the Necronomicon. Anyone who is familiar with The Evil Dead knows what a bad idea this is but for some reason Dollface decides to hunt down and kill witches but she ends up face-to-face with Zombie Tramp. From there, let’s just say, it’s a very fun trip and this entire issue is a showcase as to how to do modern comic books. It’s the right amount of fun, action, over the top horror... all wrapped up in some of the nicest covers I’ve seen in a while. I even picked up one of the variants and I never do that for an indie comic! I’m proudly adding this one to my pull list!

GWENPOOL #10 (Marvel) This is one of the few female lead books that Marvel has that isn’t beating their whole “look how diverse we are” line to death. She still feels like a fun character being done for fun rather than some fake attempt to show how diverse the Marvel Universe is (which is only possible if you ignore or don’t know the history of the Marvel Universe) The only problem with Gwen is her longevity. I’m not certain she can sustain a series for the long haul. Don’t get me wrong, I would love it to happen, it’s fun seeing her adapt to life in a fictional world. But how long can it last? I’m still willing to stick around and find out especially now that this storyline has ended and Gwen appears to have lost everything. What do you do the day after you defeat aliens and a Doombot then lost your entire team? Whatever it is I’m certain it will be fun. That seems to be the ongoing underlying theme of this book: Don’t take it too seriously, it’s a comic book. Have fun with it!

MIGHTY MORPHIN’ POWER RANGERS #11 (BOOM!) Billy and Tommy have landed in what looks like a possible future for Angel Grove. One where a statue of Rita and a mysterious new Ranger stand tall over the ruins of the world. What happened? Can it be stopped? The question might have a very complex answer when they discover who is the mysterious new Ranger. Spoiler alert: It’s Tommy! But what happened? Did he finally give in to Rita and somehow gain the power to destroy the other Rangers and the world? Next issue we find out more but I have to say I really like how this series is unfolding. It’s being taken seriously and the threats feel real. This is Mighty Morphin’ for the original fans. It grew up with us. Also: if you haven’t seen the trailer for the Power Rangers movie you MUST check it out! It;s Morphinominal!

MOTOR GIRL #3 (Abstract Studios) When I saw Terry Moore’s name on this book I knew I would get the first issue. Now I’m on the third and I’m remembering why Moore is one of my favorite indie creators of all time. This series has the perfect mix of reality and fantasy, to the point where it’s hard to tell if what we are seeing is real or if it’s all in Samantha’s head. And at this point, either conclusion will be fulfilling. But there is also a mystery... exactly why is the land the junkyard she works at so important? It’s fun finding out. Anyone crying that there aren’t enough women in comics needs to either check this series out or stop reading and talking about Comic books. This series has quickly become a top of the stack book!

SPIDER-GWEN #16 (Marvel) The crossover with Spider-Man (Miles Morales) continues but, oddly enough, it seems to be losing steam. At least it did until the last page. Gwen and Miles are on the hunt for his dad who might be in Gwen’s reality but is also being hunted by Matt Murdock, The Kingpin! We find out that the guy everyone is looking for may not be the same guy Miles knows as his dad. This alternate reality stuff is a bit loopy but when you have two genuinely fun characters it seems alright.

VENOM #3 (Marvel) This is going to be a short review. Emo snot. I have no interest in emo snot so this is my final issue of the series. I’m dropping it.

#Bullet Reviews #Bullet Reviews 2017

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aion-rsa · 8 years ago

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I Can’t Believe It’s Not Deadpool: The 15 Best Non-Deadpool Deadpools

Who would have guessed that this character, who is basically an amalgam of preexisting heroes, would become such a cultural phenomenon? Then again, there is no denying that his voice is a unique take on the cape and cowl genre. Regardless of how you see it, the gutter-mouthed, juvenile anti-hero known as Deadpool is the king of the world right now. Or is that… multiple worlds?

RELATED: 15 Darkest Versions of Superman

With Marvel’s multiverse acting as an infinite… pool… of alternate Wade Wilsons, there’s plenty of the Merc with a Mouth to go around; almost too much, in fact. Thats why we’ve decided to put together a list of our 15 favorite alternate universe versions of the Regeneratin’ Degenerate. Because, as the movies and the comics have shown, one universe just can’t seem to contain all that is Deadpool.

FUTURE HORSEMEN DEADPOOL

Not to be confused with Deadpool, Horseman of Apocalypse, who appeared in “Cable & Deadpool” #46 (2007), the Deadpool we’re talking about here debuted in “Extraordinary X-Men” #8 (2016) as one of Apocalypse’s Horsemen. Presumably, he became “Death” in Apocalypse’s equation more than a thousand years in the future. This issue was part of the “Apocalypse Wars” crossover, which followed Colossus and a group of Jean Grey School students as they were accidentally transported into the future. Colossus is separated from the youngsters when they run into The Horsemen. When they finally meet up with Piotr again, he has somehow become Apocalypse’s new Horseman, War.

The initial line-up of this version of the Horsemen included Moon Knight, Venom, Man-Thing and Deadpool. During the second battle between the X-Men and these future Horsemen, it is revealed that Deadpool’s mouth has been sewn shut (an homage to “X-Men Origins: Wolverine,” perhaps?). When Iceman makes a joke about it, Pool cuts open the stitching and breathes out a swarm of winged insects.

GWENPOOL

Visually, Deadpool is basically Spider-Man if you turned up the contrast and lost the webbing, a fact that isn’t lost on anybody. It has been played up again and again in everything from Deadpool covers homaging classic Spider-Man covers, to the popular comic series starring the two as a duo. Spider-Gwen, on the other hand, is Spider-Man, just from a parallel universe. On Earth-65, Gwen Stacy became Spider-Woman while Peter Parker died tragically. This character was initially introduced as part of the Marvel’s huge “Spider-Verse” crossover event, but was so popular, she got her own series by Jason Latour and Robbi Rodriguez.

Here’s where is gets interesting: in 2015, Spider-Gwen’s popularity warranted having Gwen Stacy variants of all 20 titles that dropped in June of that year, one of which struck a chord with fans: the Gwen variant of “Deadpool’s Secret Secret Wars” #2. This gender swap of the Merc with a Mouth sports his familiar costume but in a pink/white color scheme, a look that was immediately adopted by the cosplay and fanart communities, and this momentum granted her a backstory in the 616, and even her own series in 2016 by writer Christopher Hastings and a rotating who’s-who of artists.

DEAPOOL THE DUCK

This brand spanking new character currently stars in his own miniseries written by Stuart Moore with art by Jacopo Camagni, the first issue of which hit newsstands in January 2017. He is not to be confused, however, with the Deadpool the Duck who debuted (and then died) in the “Deadpool Kills Deadpool” (2013) miniseries, this Deadpool the Duck is a literal mash-up of Deadpool and Howard the Duck.

The story goes that Deadpool is hired by S.H.I.E.L.D. to capture a “high profile E.T. rampaging across the High Plains.” When he tracks the target down, it’s Rocket Raccoon and he has contracted space rabies. Rocket has also crash-landed his ship into Howard the Duck’s car by complete coincidence. A battle ensues, and when Rocket bites into Pool’s teleporter, Howard and Pool are somehow merged because of their close proximity. He may have just been introduced but the Merc With A Bill is already one of the most noteworthy Deadpools ever!

NEW BROTHERHOOD DEADPOOL

In Brian Michael Bendis’ “All-New X-Men” run, he not only brought Professor X’s original students to the current 616 continuity, he also gave us a look at the future that would now occur due to the original X-Men being time-displaced. In “X-Men: Battle of the Atom” #1, we were introduced to a team claiming to be X-Men from the future, who brought a warning that if the past X-Men did not go back to their time, it would lead to the end of the mutant species.

This team was made up of Xavier II, a female Xorn, an all grown up Molly Hayes, a more beastly Beast, Ice Hulk, Katherine Pryde and Deadpool. However, it turns out they are actually the New Brotherhood, but that is not their only deception. Pryde is actually the shape-shifting son of Mystique and Professor X, Raze, and Xorn is past Jean Grey. On top of that, Xavier II is mind-controlling all the members, sans his half-brother. This version of Deadpool appears without a mask, yet has the black eye-markings from his mask now on his face.

CANADAMAN

The year 2009 saw Marvel release the mammoth 104-page special “Deadpool” #900, followed in 2010 by the also over-sized “Deadpool” #1000. Neither were anywhere close to the official “Deadpool” issue count, but that was the whole point. This was a jab at DC’s practice of relaunching titles, but also keeping a running issue count so they can tout their milestones.

These two issues each featured a number of fun short stories by various creative teams that celebrated the Regeneratin’ Degenerate. Of the many versions of Deadpool in these stories, Canadaman was our favorite. A company in Toronto going by Canadacorp wanted to sponsor a Canadian super group with a big name hero heading it up as Canadaman. They pitch Deadpool, but he isn’t interested in the slightest… until he sees the pay check, that is. The rest of the team includes Moositaur, Beaver, Puck-Man and Ms. Puck-Man. Their transport is a red, Maple leaf-shaped jet. Pool quits on their first mission upon being told Wolverine and Northstar were offered the Canadaman position first, but turned it down.

DEAD MAN WADE

This Warren Ellis and Ken Lashley spin on Deadpool first reared his ugly head in their “X-Calibre” (1995) miniseries. This was part of the “Age of Apocalypse” storyline, and like many AoA versions of fan-favorite characters, Dead Man Wade was a darker take on the Merc with a Mouth. Instead of the side-splitting (literally and figuratively), fourth wall-breaking prankster of the 616 Universe, the AoA Wade was despondent and clearly brain-damaged. At one point, Apocalypse mentions that Wade was part of a eugenics program that deeply traumatized him.

In this alternate future, Apocalypse did not only have his staple Four Horsemen, he also had armies of Infinites, the Madri cult, the Brotherhood of Chaos and his assassins, the Pale Riders. Dead Man Wade was one of three Pale Riders, with Danielle Moonstar and Damask rounding out the crew. Both ladies seemed to hate Wade and each other, and they all took great pleasure in either torturing or killing.

ULTIMATE DEADPOOL

In 2011, Brian Michael Bendis and Mark Bagley introduced Wadey Wilson in “Ultimate Spider-Man” #91, which was the first part of a four-part story aptly titled “Deadpool.” In the Ultimate Universe (Earth-1610), though, Deadpool seems to be an amalgamation of Wade Wilson and Donald Pierce. He has a costume and arsenal very similar to Deadpool, but instead of Wade’s familiar scarring under the mask, this Pool is a cyborg who has had his nose, the skin on his face and part of his skull removed, and covered in a hard transparent casing. He is the leader of a squad of soldiers with cybernetic enhancements known as The Reavers, just like Pierce of Earth-616.

Wadey’s anti-mutie rhetoric is very Pierce as well. However, these Reavers are the stars of a reality TV show produced by Mojo where they hunt down mutants. If that sounds familiar, it’s because Mojo does pretty much the same thing in regular continuity. In the “Ultimate Spider-Man” animated series, there was an episode in Season 2 dedicated to Deadpool. While it was titled “Ultimate Deadpool,” the appearance and portrayal of the character seemed to be that of regular ol’ 616 Deadpool.

DEATHSTROKE OF THE ANTIMATTER UNIVERSE

There is no denying that Deathstroke The Terminator, who was introduced in 1980, influenced the creation of Deadpool, introduced in 1991. In fact, his co-creator, Fabian Nicieza, openly acknowledges the similarities. Their names are Slade Wilson and Wade Wilson, and both underwent secret experimentation to make them the ultimate mercenary. Plus, there may be a color difference, but Pool’s costume bares a striking resemblance to The Terminator’s.

Writer Joe Kelly played on this “creative borrowing” when he wrote “Superman/Batman Annual” #1 (2006) and gave us the Antimatter Universe version of Deathstroke. The Antimatter Universe is the reverse of our own (eg: good is bad), and this Deathstroke is an exact replica of Deadpool, but in blue and orange. He has a katana, a healing factor and manic dialogue that might as well have been pulled right out of Pool’s speech bubbles. In his single comic appearance, he is contracted by Mister Mxyzptlk to protect Owlman.

EVIL DEADPOOL

Evil Deadpool may be an “on the nose,” almost silly name, but he is a great concept. During his lengthy four-year run on “Deadpool” (2008-2012), Daniel Way sent Pool to the loony bin in jolly ol’ England at one point. Then he revealed that one of the psychiatrists, Dr. Ella Whitby, was obsessed with Wade and broke him out, ala Harley Quinn and The Joker. Well, maybe she is a tad more twisted than Harley, as we find out she collected and froze the pieces of Wade that were chopped and shot off over the years. The bits of flesh and body parts even all have different costumes!

When Wade discovers her selection of choice Deadpool cuts, he pukes… then proceeds to track her down. Later, he circles back to her apartment to dispose of his scraps in a dumpster. Problem is, even Pool’s pieces have his healing factor, and once combined, they regenerate into a whole new Pool… Evil Deadpool! Other than his patchwork look, Evil Deadpool’s most defining feature is that he has two right arms, and is really damn evil.

AGENT X

The original run of “Deadpool” ended with #69 in 2002… sort of. It was replaced by the “Agent X” series, which started with the same creative team as the last arc of “Deadpool” (Gail Simone, Alvin Lee and Udon Studios), and continued where the prior ongoing had left off. It was a big mystery who Agent X was, as he arrived on the scene with amnesia. He had Deadpool’s healing factor, most of his skill set and bits of his personality, but at the same time, he had refined tastes that were very un-Deadpool. X also had scarring all over his body, but not nearly as severe as Deadpool’s.

In “Agent X” #14 (2003), it was revealed that powerful telepathic assassin Black Swan had swapped parts of his, Deadpool’s and Agent X’s minds, as well as their powers, when an explosion threatened to kill all three. Agent X was actually a Japanese merc named Nijo but he had gained the abilities and personalites of Swan and Wade.

LADY DEADPOOL & THE DEADPOOL CORPS

The Deadpool Corps is full of awesome parallel universe Pools, and we would feature them all if this was a “50 Best” list. We will at least mention the initial line-up, which consisted of Deadpool, Lady Deadpool, Headpool, Dogpool and Kidpool (not to be confused with Kid Deadpool or Deadpool Kid). The Corps was also brought together by one of the Elders of the Universe, The Contemplator, to combat a cosmic threat known as The Awareness. The Corps later bolstered its ranks to stop the killing spree of the Evil Deadpool Corps. Some of the hilarious recruits included Veapon X, Motorpool, Grootpool, Chibipool and the ferocious Pandapool.

However, our focus here is sometimes leader of the Corps, Lady Deadpool, aka Wanda Wilson of Earth-3010. She first appeared in “Deadpool: Merc with a Mouth” #7 and was created by Victor Gischler and Deadpool’s co-daddy, Rob Liefeld. On her Earth, she had joined a group of rebels fighting a fascist government led by Captain America. She defeated Rogers in their first showdown, as well as their rematch… although she did have help from Deadpool and Headpool in both instances.

MASACRE

Put simply, Masacre is the low budget, Mexican Deadpool. He is a former Catholic priest who, after hearing Deadpool’s confession, decided he needed to take a more pro-active role in making the world a better place. Masacre’s first appearance was in “Deadpool” #3.1 (2015), which was an issue focusing on this violent vigilante’s exploits. Donning a badly stitched together imitation of Deadpool’s costume, he goes about cleaning up Mexico. Masacre uses machetes instead of katanas and a good ol’ fashioned shotgun rather than Deadpool’s fancy selection of automatic firearms. He also has a pet jaguar named Justicia that has her own Deadpool-inspired costume.

Masacre’s ultimate goal was to team up with his hero, Deadpool, and after eliminating one of Mexico’s major crime bosses, he set off to do just that. Traveling by motorbike with Justicia in the sidecar, he headed to the U.S. Upon arrival, he quickly joined up with Deadpool’s newly formed Mercs For Money organization in “Deadpool” #5 (2016).

WATARI

Acclaimed writer Peter Milligan wrote an under-appreciated five-issue miniseries in 2011 called “5 Ronin.” Each issue told the story of a different Marvel hero, but in the context of 17th Century Japan. The series came out for five weeks consecutively, starting with Wolverine, followed by Hulk, Punisher, Psylocke and finally Deadpool.

This realm’s Deadpool is named Watari and like all the stories in this series, his is about revenge. He was once the most dangerous samurai in the land, but was betrayed by his friend in the heat of battle and left for dead. When he dug his way out of a pile of dead bodies, he had lost his humanity, but was intent on retribution. His friend had gone on to become a ruthless Daimyo, who had also wronged Butterfly (Psylocke), Monk (Hulk), The Ronin Who Cannot Die (Wolvie) and Punisher. However, out of the five, it is Watari who manages to get his vengeance.

ZOMBIE DEADPOOL (HEADPOOL)

If a character has been around for long enough and a number of writers have put their stamp on his/her history and personality, continuity tends to get muddy. Well, Robert Kirkman’s creation, Zombie Deadpool, may have only been around for five short years, but his story, development and death played out cleanly without need of a single retcon.

When Earth-2149 was overrun by a zombie plague, Deadpool turned out to be the Prime Carrier. He somehow reached Earth-616, where the extra-dimensional security agency known as A.R.M.O.R. orchestrated his capture. His body was torn apart in the battle, but they still took what was left of him back to HQ for safe keeping. His head then manages to escape with the help of Golden Age hero, Zombie. At this point, he is renamed Headpool and continues his adventures without a body. This Deadpool is a founding member of the Deadpool Corps, and is the first Corpsman to die at the hands of the Evil Deadpool Corp. Say that three times fast.

DREADPOOL

This version of Deadpool is from Earth-12101. In this universe, the X-Men committed him to the Ravencroft Asylum to deal with his psychosis. The plan backfires because the head doctor at the asylum is actually classic villain Psycho-Man in disguise. He manages to quiet the voices in Wade’s head, but also awakens a new voice that instructs Dreadpool to kill everyone.

Dreadpool was created by Cullen Bunn, who gave him the name, even though he has never used it in a comic. This is the Deadpool that killed all the superheroes in “Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe” (2012), then all the characters from classic tales like Frankenstein and The Jungle Book in “Deadpool: Killustrated” (2013), and finally decided to hunt down every last Deadpool in the multiverse in “Deadpool Kills Deadpool” (2013). For that last and most ambitious mission, he started the Evil Deadpool Corps and recruited the most foul Pools he could find. Of course, Evil Deadpool was one of the first members, as was our #10 entry, Dead Man Wade.

Which alternate universe version of Deadpool was your favorite? Let us know in the comments!

The post I Can’t Believe It’s Not Deadpool: The 15 Best Non-Deadpool Deadpools appeared first on CBR.com.

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dawnajaynes32 · 6 years ago

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Print-On-Demand Comic Books Change the Game

The big players in the world of comic books, DC and Marvel, have grown exponentially in the past decade, thanks to their movies, television programs, games, and more and more merchandise. If you don’t want to or can’t align with a publisher to get your own comic book out there, consider print-on-demand (POD), where printing technologies and printing companies allow you to create whatever you want, whenever you want. Print-on-demand benefits creators in a big way, and the perks for readers are huge because it provides plenty of titles to choose from—far more than my grocery store ever used to offer.

Comic Books Then & Now

I grew up with comic books, and my weekends were spent hunting and gathering my favorite titles at the local grocery store (who sold them in a metal rack) or the newsstand at the mall (who had a much nicer wooden rack displaying them). I loved reading them, and wanted to make them, but breaking into comic books then meant breaking into the industry, getting your foot in the door at DC or Marvel, two of the biggest players in the comic book world. By 1986, Dark Horse became another option. And when seven of Marvel’s comic book creators broke away in 1992 to form Image, it signaled a paradigm shift. Creator-owned comics became a reality.

If you didn’t want a mainstream publisher, or one wouldn’t pick you up, you could also create your own short-run zine, making copies at the local Kinko’s or AlphaGraphics, or other print shop. Alternatively, if you created your comic on your computer, you could print it yourself using your dot-matrix or laser or inkjet printer. (Caution: this has always used a lot of paper, and you have to dedicate a lot of time to binding and distributing your book yourself.)

But with print-on-demand, the production is out of your hands. And thanks to the web, you can easily distribute your comic book. Make your comic book or graphic novel—or any other book for that matter—send the layout to the vendor, then select your paper, binding, and quantities, and finally, click order. Done and done. Over the years, my students have used a vendor out of North Carolina named Lulu for creating their comic books and graphic novels, and they have had a positive experience from the moment they’ve placed their order up until the time they receive their books. Lulu even has a special part of their site dedicated to comic books, where you can order from their available titles or create your own.

Expanding Your Reach

With POD, both readers and creators benefit since the market is wide open. Richard Graham, associate professor at University of Nebraska-Lincoln’s University Libraries, has been familiar with POD since 2004, when he saw an Espresso Book Machine® at North Dakota State University’s bookstore. More and more Espresso Book Machines (EBM) are popping up around the world. Graham, a member of the 2015 Eisner Award Judging Panel and an Eisner Award and Harvey Award Nominee (2012) himself, is co-author of the book A Brief History of Comic Book Movies and sees plenty of benefits for POD, with creators and readers benefitting. With POD comic books created on the EBM or at vendors such as Lulu, Graham says, “The publisher is no longer the gatekeeper, and optimistically, it should bring more readers into the fold.”

Availability is also a big issue, and POD solves that problem. From Graham’s perspective, “If a rights owner makes a series available through POD, I can now access what a brick and mortar didn’t have the space for or a compilation that a publisher didn’t think would recoup expenses.” That could be a book like Unbelievable Gwenpool—which Graham uses as an example—or it could be a title that’s part of neither Marvel nor DC. John Jennings, professor of media studies at the University of California Riverside and Eisner Award recipient (2018) for Kindred, began using Lulu in the 2000s. Jennings has observed POD and its competitive pricing functioning as “the life’s blood” of counter-cultural black comix, with heroes and stories created by the African American comics community. “When I see conversations about ‘the comics industry’ and ‘the future,’ it always seems to posit a monolithic industry and that isn’t true. There’s many aspects to American comics and just as many audiences. Most people are generally talking about the Direct Market which is run by Marvel and DC. The culture I am a part of doesn’t do business with that space so much and, honestly, isn’t really allowed to. So, to me, on-demand printing is a liberating force to underrepresented voices even with its limitations.”

Questions of Quality

Limitations can be small or large, depending on your perspective and expectations, and depending on the vendor or vendors you use. In addition to Lulu, there’s IndyPlanet and comiXology, both of whom offer print-on-demand services to create your own comics and graphic novels—like Lulu, each have digital book equivalents. ComiXology Originals titles will now be produced by Amazon and its print-on-demand technology, making Amazon a publisher, printer, and distributor. But on Twitter, Eric Reynolds, associate publisher of Fantagraphics Books, has been outspoken about comiXology, especially when it comes to quality. Are print-on-demand comic books entirely low-quality, with shoddy paper, poor binding, color gamut problems? “All of the above,” says Reynolds, “You have vastly fewer options to choose from. The print quality is poor. The binding is cheap. The paper feels icky to the touch (I don’t know any other way to describe it). It’s the fast food of printing.” (When contacted for an interview, comiXology did not respond.)

If you value high-quality printing and diverse books, today’s amazon/comixology announcement is concerning. Amazon’s print-on-demand offers exactly one paper stock option, two finishes (matte/gloss), limited trim options, and paperback only.

— Eric Reynolds (@earinc) June 2, 2018

Reynolds sees the danger in Amazon staking a claim like this. “We already know that Amazon already is the most dominant player in the digital comics marketplace and that they want to consolidate that market share even further. This is an attempt to integrate the physical and print arms in such a way to further condition consumers to patronize Amazon, by making original content exclusively available to Amazon consumers. Amazon also is offering POD services to publishers that also aim to strengthen Amazon’s market share for all content, and to condition consumers to patronize Amazon by giving them product (POD) when no other booksellers have access.”

Having read what Reynolds wrote on Twitter, Jennings appreciates his stance. “I think Eric has a lot of valid points. However, I also think that comics in our country need some kind of ‘tumult’ to shake things up a bit. The Direct Market is a really terrible model for the monthly pamphlet comics and it’s not a welcome space for new diverse audiences. I say let’s see what happens. If Amazon/comiXology can help get more comics in more people’s hands (even if they have some printing issues) then why not? Something has to change.”

Where Quality (Really) Counts

For many creators, quality matters, and rightfully so. Taking pride in your craft means seeing the highest levels of production at all stages, including the final product. For Reynolds, “the quality of print-on-demand still remains sub-par to our own personal standards of book-making.” He is, however, supportive of the opportunities presented. “Look, it’s great that comiXology is creating opportunities for cartoonists and (by all accounts) paying competitive rates to creators. Theoretically, I suppose, it could introduce some new readers to comics (although I’m skeptical about that, in practice).” As a young comic book reader decades ago, paper and ink quality didn’t matter a whole lot to me. I had to take what I could get—newsprint, blobby inks, and all. When high-quality comic books came into the picture towards the end of the twentieth century, it dramatically changed the landscape, especially for collectors. Richard Graham says that those printing and publishing advances might have introduced us to slick books, with nice paper and inks, but there’s a downside. Maybe we’ve become a bit spoiled.

Sure, high-quality printing is nifty but it’s also expensive, something that John Jennings sees as a deterrent. “We’ve elevated the graphic form of the comic a great deal but it definitely shuts out a particular class and demographic because of the cost.” If POD comics and independently produced comics cost less, and in turn become more accessible, than it’s a win for everyone. It’s a chance for something new, something special, something readers may have never seen before, something great. And in terms of greatness, there’s one thing that really matters according to Jennings. “Personally, I will read a comic if it’s scrawled on a paper bag. If it’s a great story, a streak in a solid black isn’t going to kill it.”

Lulu images courtesy of Lulu.

The post Print-On-Demand Comic Books Change the Game appeared first on HOW Design.

Print-On-Demand Comic Books Change the Game syndicated post

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zombiehighx23 · 7 years ago

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X-Books Sales of June 2017

Old Man Logan takes the thrown back and was the top selling X-Book for the month of June 2017 with 59,216. X-Men Gold, and Blue with their 6th issues end up in the 40k range, landing right back to where All New X-Men and Extraordinary were performing last time. We relaunched a whole line, just to end up where we were 3 months later. Marvel ladies and gentlemen. In all fairness All New was selling lower, but give it a few more months and I am sure it will end up in the same place. Cable #2 hits 31,557. If it follows the trend of Generation X and Jean Grey, then come next month it will end up at 22k like those two. Iceman…Oh boy where to start. Things are not COOL with this book. It came out of the gate with 34,202. In the same month at issue two was 22,075. You can say the HEAT is really MELTING away his sales…I’ll show myself out. Iceman as of right now has the weakest launch numbers out of the “new” books. It seems the push they had with the second issue, where if you bought it, you also got the first issues of all the ResurXions titles digitally, was not because it was to celebrate pride month with a LGBTQIA character but more of Marvel saw the low preorder numbers for issue two and was pushing the book. Iceman sits at 22k, alongside with Generation X, Jean Grey. Three freshly new titles and already very close to cancelation range, and they have only been out for two months. Gwenpool pulled itself out of cancellation range. Either people skip the filler issues with that book or the character is starting to see a little popularity boom (more funkos/merch of her is being made, she’s appearing in the mobile games, and maybe trade sales?). Iceman is currently the lowest selling X-title. I leave this question for everyone. We complained of too many books, so Marvel listen and got rid of them. Then we complained of not enough books, so Marvel listen and gave us more. But we are still not buying. Which is it? More books or fewer books? Because neither is working. And the answer of Marvel does not care about the X-Men and is just pumping out shit to seem like they care is not a valid answer. Be honest and think it over.

In other titles. Secret Empire is only hitting the high 80ks. No where standing with the other past Marvel event books. Not even in the top 5. Once again, event fatigue, Nick Spencer and the whole event rubbing the people the wrong way, or is there another factor?

Last bit, Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur#20 was the lowest selling Marvel Book (not including reprints) with 7,731. Other titles that outsold it include, GWAR ORGASMAGEDDON #1 with 14,035, MY LITTLE PONY FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC #55 with 10,284, something called CAVE CARSON HAS A CYBERNETIC EYE #9 with 9,578, and my favorite, Shirtless Bear-Fighter #1 (just read the description of this book) with 18,794. I get that Moon Girl sells well in trade, but these sales are just sad, and Marvel thinks that by including with the line wide relaunch will help it. Marvel double of 7,731 is 15,462. As Regina George once said “Stop making Fetch happen. It’s not going to happen.”

Cite; https://icv2.com/articles/news/view/37977/top-300-comics-actual-june-2017

#X-men #marvel

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wbwest · 7 years ago

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New Post has been published on WilliamBruceWest.com

New Post has been published on http://www.williambrucewest.com/2017/06/23/west-week-ever-pop-culture-review-62317/

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review - 6/23/17

It’s gonna be a quick one this week, as I’ve got too much real life stuff going on. Plus, there was a lot of little news, but no big whammy.

Last Saturday I took in Awesome Con which, in its fifth year, was being held at the Washington Convention Center. Normally I’m all about con reports. You’ll see my cosplay pics, and hear about all the stuff I bought. Not so much this time around. I don’t know what it was, but it didn’t feel very Awesome this year. I hate cons that are filled to capacity (like NYCC), but I felt like this one could’ve been better attended. Sure, there were a lot of folks there, but I still bet they fell short of the numbers that had been expected. No cosplay really caught my eye. There were only, like, 7 comic vendors. The show really doesn’t seem to know if it’s a pop culture con, like a Wizard World show, or if it’s a comic-con for the DC area, rivaling Baltimore’s.

It wasn’t all bad, though. I got to hang out with my buds @KeithDavidsen and @ClassickMateria, plus I had a great conversation with 2/3 of the 3 Black Geeks Podcast. Oh, and I totally gushed over Christopher Hastings, who currently writes I Am Groot and The Unbelievable Gwenpool for Marvel. I’ve been a fan of his since his indie series, The Adventures of Dr. McNinja, and I’m a huge Gwenpool fan. I pretty much went just to meet him, and he was totally gracious and nice. Meanwhile, I was gonna confront Scott Snyder and get him to sign my Dark Days: The Forge book. And then ask him why he blocked me on Twitter. But the stars were not aligned, as his line was capped before I got there. I suppose it was for the best. So, while lacking in awesome, there’s still room for improvement, and I’m sure I’ll be right back there next year.

While a lot of folks are getting excited about it, I have some problems with the way Netflix’s The Defenders series is being marketed. Something seems off with the tone of everything. See that poster above? As I remarked on Twitter, it looks like a TV Guide ad for a show Fox canceled in 1994. I can hear the promo now: “The Defenders, followed by an all-new New York Undercover. Thursday, at 8/7 Central.” There’s nothing about it that *pops*, and it just looks so pedestrian. Are they a rag tag group of NYC street-level heroes, or is it a coming of age drama about 3 guys and a girl trying to make it in New York City? I still have 3 more seasons of Marvel Netflix shows to catch up on before I can even watch this, so maybe I’m not the target audience. It’s just all so formulaic now, though. “Hey, look – a hallway fight!”

We finally got a premiere date for the long-delayed Star Trek: Discovery, bowing September 24th at 8:30 on both CBS and CBS All Access. What’s with the 8:30 start time, though? I guess we’ll get some kind of half-assed, 30-minute Trek retrospective before the show. And, taking a page from cable shows, the season will be split in two, with the first 8 episodes airing in the fall, while the remaining 7 will air starting in January. I couldn’t be less excited for this show. So many damn hoops to jump through, so many broken promises regarding its premiere date. At this point, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if they requested a blood sample before allowing you to watch it. That’s how crazy this has become. What was once thought to become the most pirated series of all time, I’m now starting to think most of us aren’t even gonna bother.

I had no clue that Phil Lord and Chris Miller were the directors on the Han Solo film (how’d I miss that?), and I would’ve told anyone who’d listen that they were a terrible choice – which is why I’m not surprised that they were fired this week, citing “creative differences”. Sure, The Lego Movie was great. The Jump Street franchise was great. But I don’t see them fitting into the “Star Wars vision” that Kathleen Kennedy clearly has. They would’ve given us something great and entertaining, but I don’t know if it would’ve been a “Star Wars movie”. Then again, I’m not the biggest Star Wars fan, so what do I know. I’d like to think there’s room to do a lot of stuff in that franchise, but I just don’t see their style fitting into what’s already been established. And then Ron Howard was announced as their replacement. I really don’t know how I feel about this. I mean, gifted director, but this seems sort of out of his wheelhouse. Any of y’all have strong thoughts either way?

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Meanwhile, somebody needs to make up their mind about whether these Spider-Man spinoffs are gonna be set in the MCU or not. We were basically told that only Spider-Man was crossing over, and even that’s been threatened as a possible one-time deal. But then Amy Pascal did a press junket earlier this week, where she danced around the matter, saying that the Spider-Man spinoffs would build upon the world that is being carefully crafted, leading some to believe they might actually be set in the MCU. That’s how some folks saw it. I just saw it as Pascal trying to keep her job. I guess time will tell. Meanwhile, Spider-Man Homecoming 2 is already being discussed (which I hope is called Spider-Man: Sadie Hawkins Dance), and there will reportedly be a cameo by another MCU character who’s not Iron Man. Keep it in your pants, boys. Let’s see how this one does first, OK?

Song of the Week

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Yup, it’s a Taylor Swift song, but it’s NOT sung by Taylor. She gave this song to Little Big Town, who have ridden it to #1. It’s got her trademark juvenile lyrics, but I still think it’s beautiful. I kinda wish I didn’t know she wrote it, but I think that was part of the push that got it to #1. Anyway, here’s “Better Man”.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

Shonda Rhimes had to fail eventually, which is why her summer Shakespeare series, Still Star-Crossed, has been moved to Saturday after 3 low-rated episodes. Stick a fork in that turkey!

Speaking of dead shows, CMT couldn’t make the numbers work to revive Last Man Standing, so the sitcom is officially dead

Dule Hill’s real-life fiancee, Ballers actress Jazmyn Simon, will play Gus’ love interest in the Psych reunion movie

Apparently Nickelodeon is prepping a one-hour reunion, called Rocko’s Modern Life: Static Cling. I didn’t have cable growing up, but I know this means something to some of you.

Virginia Madsen won’t be back for season 2 of Designated Survivor. I was kinda hoping she and Kiefer would bang, so now I have the sads…

Six cast members are out at Taken, amid a major shake-up prior to season 2. I guess you could say they didn’t have the right set of skills.

They’re teasing a Downton Abbey movie for 2018. I hope it’s called Downton Abbey: Matthew’s Revenge!

There are rumors that Damon Lindelof is in talks to do a Watchmen TV series for HBO. That network is really into dongs lately, so I guess this is a perfect fit.

Daniel Henney is shifting his Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders character over the main Criminal Minds series, following the former’s cancellation. Remember that when your CBS-watching grandpa asks you where he’s seen that “Oriental fella” before…

The CW is interested in a Supernatural spinoff called Wayward Sisters, which would star recurring guest star Kim Rhodes. I don’t watch Supernatural, but she was Zack & Cody’s hot mom, so I’m a supporter of giving her more work!

After a thorough investigation, Warner Bros found no evidence of misconduct on the set of Bachelor In Paradise, and production has resumed on the season. Now it’ll probably be the most-watched season of the show, but there’s no way they saw that coming, right? Right?

As a reward for being the #1 daytime drama for the past 28 (!) consecutive years, CBS has renewed The Young and the Restless for another three seasons

NBC is scrambling to do some damage control, as Megyn Kelly’s highly publicized interview with Sandy Hook truther Alex Jones was beaten by a rerun of America’s Funniest Home Videos. That’s right, it was beaten by a show that’s been rendered virtually obsolete since the proliferation of the Internet

Heroes is coming to Crackle on July 13th. You know, that free streaming network that nobody watches? So, if you’re still itching to save the cheerleader, there ya go.

The sequel to Jurassic World will be called Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. Meh. That shit ought to be called Jurassic Galaxy. Take those dinos into space already!

Daniel Day-Lewis has quit acting, meaning we’ll never get to see him in the Fast and the Furious franchise like we’d always dreamed!

Fresh off his mistrial, Bill Cosby plans to give speaking engagements where he will instruct folks how to dodge sexual assault charges. I couldn’t make this shit up! “If you put the pudding pop in the Jello, make sure you’re not caught on any Kodak film!”

Transformers 5: Bad Touch had the lowest opening day box office for the franchise, with $15.7 million.

In the ultimate Fuck yo’ Father’s Day move, Beyonce’s dad announced to the world, via tweet, that her twins had arrived. I hear he was dragged away by wraiths soon afterward.

Adam West’s unaired episode of Powerless can now be seen on DC All Access, as well as Hulu.

No one had the West Week Ever this week. As Nina Simone sang, “It be’s that way sometimes”. I do have a correction from last week, though. Like I said up top, I’ve got some real world stuff going on and I wasn’t really thinking clearly. I inducted Adam West into the West Week Ever Hall of Fame, when my pal @zacshipley pointed out that a better honor was staring me right in the face: that honor should be called the West Life Ever. So, the post has since been corrected and, going forward, that is what will be bestowed upon those greats that we’ve lost along the way. Adam West had the West Life Ever.

#Batman #Comics #Country #DC #Marvel #Movies #Music #Politics #Pop #Race #Social Media #Star Trek #Star Wars #Television #West Week Ever

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nothingman · 8 years ago

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A few days ago a discussion and subsequent interview with David Gabriel, Marvel Comics’ Senior VP of Sales and Marketing, at their retailer summit began making the rounds, but not for the reasons the publisher was hoping. Marvel has every reason to be concerned, as their share of the market has shrunk dramatically in the last few months. Figuring out the cause of that decrease is vital for Marvel’s survival—yet the answer they’ve come to isn’t just inaccurate, it’s also offensive.

Later, Gabriel gave another interview that, in part, rehashed that hoary old proverb that diversity doesn’t sell: “What we heard was that people didn’t want any more diversity. They didn’t want female characters out there. That’s what we heard, whether we believe that or not. I don’t know that that’s really true, but that’s what we saw in sales. We saw the sales of any character that was diverse, any character that was new, our female characters, anything that was not a core Marvel character, people were turning their nose up against.” And with that, comics Twitter was all a-tizzy.

The stated goal of the summit was “to hear directly from [retailers] on what they are encountering within the industry and how Marvel can work with them to make sure they know that we hear them.” This summit was only open to cherry-picked retailers and Marvel offered no means of communication to those not attending, all of which puts the whole event—and the assumptions being made as a result—into question. Although the conclusions drawn by the summit can’t be totally dismissed, they also shouldn’t be used as the foundation of a whole new business model, either. Unfortunately, though, Marvel doesn’t seem to agree.

Disregarding the sugarcoated PR update Marvel made praising diverse fan favorites, Gabriel’s comments are so patently false that, without even thinking about it, I could name a dozen current titles across mediums that instantly disprove his reasoning. With its $150 million and counting in domestic earnings, Get Out is now the highest grossing original screenplay by a debut writer/director in history; meanwhile, The Great Wall, Ghost in the Shell, Gods of Egypt, and nearly every other recent whitewashed Hollywood blockbuster has tanked. Even sticking strictly to comics, Black Panther #1 was Marvel’s highest selling solo comic of 2016. Before Civil War II, Marvel held seven of the top ten bestselling titles, three of which (Gwenpool, Black Panther, and Poe Dameron) were “diverse.” Take that, diversity naysayers.

No, the crux of the problem with Marvel’s sales isn’t diversity; the problem is Marvel itself.

Old Guard versus the New Wave

Comic book fans generally come in two flavors: the old school and the new. The hardcore traditionalist dudes (and they’re almost always white cishet men) are whinging in comic shops saying things like, “I don’t want you guys doing that stuff…One of my customers even said…he wants to get stories and doesn’t mind a message, but he doesn’t want to be beaten over the head with these things.” Then there are the modern geeks, the ones happy to take the classics alongside the contemporary and ready to welcome newbies into the fold. I’ve walked out of at least a dozen shops run by guys like that gatekeeping retailer, and yet I regularly commute across two counties just to spend my money at a shop that treats me like a person instead of a unicorn or fake geek girl (Hera help me, I hate that term). I should also point out that these old school fans aren’t even all that old school: until about the 1960s, when comics moved into specialty shops, women read comics as voraciously as men. Tradition has a very short term memory, it seems.

This gets to the point made by a woman retailer at the summit: “I think the mega question is, what customer do you want. Because your customer may be very different from my customer, and that’s the biggest problem in the industry is getting the balance of keeping the people who’ve been there for 40 years, and then getting new people in who have completely different ideas.” I’d argue there’s a customer between those extremes, one who follows beloved writers and artists across series and publishers and who places as much worth on who is telling the story as who the story is about. This is where I live, and there are plenty of other people here with me.

Blaming readers for not buying diverse comics despite the clamor for more is a false narrative. Many of the fans attracted to “diverse” titles are newbies and engage in comics very differently from longtime fans. For a variety of reasons, they tend to wait for the trades or buy digital issues rather than print. The latter is especially true for young adults who generally share digital (and yes, often pirated) issues. Yet the comics industry derives all of its value from how many print issues Diamond Distributors shipped to stores, not from how many issues, trades, or digital copies were actually purchased by readers. Every comics publisher is struggling to walk that customer-centric tightrope, but only Marvel is dumb enough to shoot themselves in the foot, then blame the rope for their fall.

Stifling the Talent

As mentioned earlier, it’s not just the characters comics fans follow around, but writers and artists, as well. Marvel doesn’t seem to think readers care all that much about artists versus writers, but I’ve picked up a ton of titles based on artwork alone that I wouldn’t normally read. Likewise, I’ve dropped or rejected series based on whether or not I like an artist. Even with the lure of Saladin Ahmed as writer, my interest in Black Bolt was strictly trade. The main reason I switched to wanting print issues? Christian Ward. Veronica Fish single-handedly kept me on issues after Fiona Staples left Archie, and her leaving is the main reason why I dropped down to trades. I’ll follow Brittney L. Williams wherever she goes, regardless of series or publisher.

So why then does Marvel think that “it’s harder to pop artists these days”? A lot of it has to do with the dearth of decent advertising (especially outside comics shops) and a lack of institutional support for those artists. Also, scattering artists from book to book before they can establish a presence on a title, turning creative feats into flashbang one-offs with little continuity, is a grave Marvel has dug for itself.

But we also have to talk about how publishers don’t let their artists talk freely about their projects. Social media contracts often make it impossible for creators to address audience concerns, as Gail Simone points out, and change the way they interact with their fans. The more the Big Two seek to control expression and discussion, both on the page and online, the more they drive creators to small presses, indie publishers, and self/web publishing. A tangential arm of this conversation is how craptacular the pay is for freelance comics creators and how publishers should be utterly ashamed of themselves. But that’s a topic for another day.

Oversaturation

There’s soooo much stuff. If longtime fans are drowning in options, think how newbies must feel staring at shelf after shelf after shelf of titles. CBR crunched the numbers and found that in a 16-month window from late 2015 to early 2017, Marvel launched 104 new superhero series. A quarter didn’t make it out of their second arc. How can anyone, especially new and/or broke readers, be expected to keep up with that? Moreover, with that many options on the table, it’s no wonder Marvel can’t establish a tentpole. They’ve diluted their own market.

At first blush, giving everyone what they want sounds good, but in practice it simply overwhelms. Right now there are two separate Captain America titles, one where Steve Rogers is a Hydra Nazi and one where Sam Wilson is an anti-SJW jerkwad. There are also two Spider-Mans, two Thors, and two Wolverines, one each for longtime fans and one for newer/diverse/casual fans. And the list goes on.

Adding a steady stream of events and crossovers isn’t helping matters. Event fatigue is a genuine problem, yet Marvel has two of ‘em lined up for 2017. Given the sales for Civil War II, I acknowledge that I’m in the smaller camp here, but I stopped buying all but my hardcore faves during that crossover event and will do the same again through Secret Empire and Generations, assuming they don’t get cancelled and relaunched. I’m not going to follow characters across half a dozen titles I don’t want to read when all I want is a good, self-contained story told by talented creators. Events often end up relaunching already strong-selling titles, sometimes with the previous team but oftentimes not, which forces the reader to decide whether to drop or keep. Given Marvel’s numbers, looks like most fans are opting to drop, and I can’t blame them.

Diversity versus Reality

When you look at the sales figures, the only way to claim diversity doesn’t sell is to have a skewed interpretation of “diversity.” Out of Marvel’s current twenty female-led series, four series—America, Ms. Marvel, Silk, and Moon Girl—star women of color, and only America has an openly queer lead character. Only America, Gamora, Hawkeye, Hulk, Ms. Marvel, and Patsy Walker, A.K.A. Hellcat! (cancelled), are written by women. That’s not exactly a bountiful harvest of diversity. Plenty of comics starring or written by cishet white men get the axe over low sales, but when diversity titles are cancelled people come crawling out of the woodwork to blame diverse readers for not buying a million issues. First, we are buying titles, just usually not by the issue. Second, why should we bear the full responsibility for keeping diverse titles afloat? Non-diverse/old school fans could stand to look up from their longboxes of straight white male superheroes and subscribe to Moon Girl. Allyship is meaningless without action.

“Diversity” as a concept is a useful tool, but it can’t be the goal or the final product. It assumes whiteness (and/or maleness and/or heteronormitivity) as the default and everything else as a deviation from that. This is why diversity initiatives so often end up being quantitative—focused on the number of “diverse” individuals—rather than qualitative, committed to positive representation and active inclusion in all levels of creation and production. This kind of in-name-only diversity thinking is why Mayonnaise McWhitefeminism got cast as Major Motoko Kusanagi while actual Japanese person Rila Fukushima was used as nothing but a face mold for robot geishas.

Rather than getting hung up on diversity as a numbers game, we should be working toward inclusion and representation both on and off the page. True diversity is letting minority creators tell their own stories instead of having non-minorities creating a couple of minority characters to sprinkle in the background. It’s telling a story with characters that reflect the world. It’s accommodating for diverse backgrounds without reducing characters to stereotypes or tokens. It’s more than just acknowledging diversity in terms of race and gender/sexual identities but also disabilities, mental health, religion, and body shapes as well. It’s about building structures behind the scenes to make room for diverse creators. G. Willow Wilson said it best: “Diversity as a form of performative guilt doesn’t work. Let’s scrap the word diversity entirely and replace it with authenticity and realism. This is not a new world. This is *the world.*…It’s not “diversity” that draws those elusive untapped audiences, it’s *particularity.* This is a vital distinction nobody seems to make. This goes back to authenticity and realism.”

Alex Brown is a teen librarian, writer, geeknerdloserweirdo, and all-around pop culture obsessive who watches entirely too much TV. Keep up with her every move on Twitter and Instagram, or get lost in the rabbit warren of ships and fandoms on her Tumblr.

via Tor.com

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