#we all know that's a lie | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thepresidentstolemyfuckingsafe · 3 months ago

Text

One of my college professors told us that the reason he makes things due at 5:00 pm and not midnight is because "we already have so many other assignments due by midnight, it'd be cruel to assign more, I'd rather give you more time during the weekday, I want you to be less stressed"

like, but you do see how that's less time right?? You do know that making things due at a time when many students are in other classes is actually more stressful, right???

#same professor also likes to loudly announce that he loves us and wants us to be here on time cause we have so little time together per week #he does this if someone os late by even just a minute (only dudes though. he never does it to girls)#last time he did it he followed his usual spiel up with “im not trying to embarrass you guys though”#like c'mon bro #we all know that's a lie #but then the dude who came in “late” was like “i was in the bathroom???”#it was pure bliss when all 70 or so of us proceeded to laugh at the professor #i hope that keeps him up at night

0 notes

sunstainedpages · 5 months ago

Text

I am capable of being completely normal about this

#that's a lie #we all know that's a lie #I'm incapable of being normal #especially about this #it's futile to even try #music

1 note · View note

inkskinned · 20 days ago

Text

okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.

like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).

but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.

im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.

#what the fuck.#unfortunately by the time i'd switched accounts (from personal to my poetry one)#i couldn't find it :(#this is why u SEND URSELF THE POST. WHICH I KNOW TO DO BUT!!!#i was so mad i just was like “i'm about to tear this commenter in twain” and . lost da post #if u urself are the 29 and got recently flamed by instagram #i love u. come here. write with me. i was about to pick up a sword for u.#i mean a BIGASS sword.#like we all know im a wlw girlie but the way ppl will be like ''id NEVER write sad poetry about a MAN not LOVING me!!!"#..... wowwwww ur so cool. anyway. people often experience emotions regardless of what u consider cringe.#& if ur gonna shame straight/bi women for feeling a certain way. hope u never write about the #weird relationship between u and ur father. or feeling different from ur brother.#or how ur male best friend fucked u over. since it's SO CRINGE. to have ANY feelings caused by a MAN #like be so for real. beloved. nobody is fucking saying this when men do it.#''oh it's cringe to like a woman or feel heartbroken by her.''#controlling women's feelings and actions???? it's more likely than u think.#btw op is nonbinary do NOT be gender essential on this post i'll kill u with my teeth #edit: btw for the person who dm'd me ''when is it misogyny and when is it actually valid''#pretty easy. if a man had done it #would it be cringe? . like if a man sang a sad song about ''she broke my damn heart''?#if he said ''i want to have kids with her'' or something sexually explicit?? like would u even LIKE IT if a male poet had said it?#& if it's like. nah a 35 yr old man being upset about this is cringe too. yeah it's just cringe. that exists. we both know it does.#but .... often i see this ONLY about women. and i can't help but hear like. how back in middle school #we were fed the lie ''girls mature faster.'' ... why do i have to be emotionally regulated? but if a man wrote about the same things?#..... idk . im pretty anti cringe culture to begin with. but this one feels so bad to me . ur still a person past 33.

6K notes · View notes

gjstrwife21 · 2 years ago

Text

This is lovely😔

in which gojo realizes you truly see him

a/n: just a little thought i have i want to comfort him and hug him always <3 thank u to the amazing wonderful lovely @vagabond-umlaut for helping me w this fic <33 would’ve been hot garbage without u i love u xoxo <3

wordcount: 720

masterlist

Gojo Satoru had only known life through his many titles.

Gojo Satoru, head of the Gojo clan.

Gojo Satoru, holder of the Six Eyes and Limitless.

Gojo Satoru, the strongest sorcerer.

satoru hated titles. he hated being known and labeled for the things that didn’t even make up who he was. no one after suguru came close to trying to get to know him.

his fellow sorcerers always too busy or intimidated, viewing him as a spectacle.

there was a sense of longing in his heart to find someone who really wanted to know him. someone to ask him all his favorites, someone to ask him what he wanted to be as a child, what his fears were, if he had a middle name, what animal he’s always wanted as a pet.

but there was never anyone who got past the surface level questions.

until he met you.

you who upon meeting him gave him a kind smile, not a clue of who he was, telling him he could sit with you in the booth of the much too crowded coffee shop.

“they really should get more chairs around here” he mumbles, looking up at you with a small grin when you laugh in agreement, glancing up from your laptop.

“seriously! half the time it’s a gamble if I’ll be able to get some work done or if I’ll have to drive back home” you chuckle, gojo smiling at your words.

you both spent some more time talking, sipping on your respective drinks and getting to know each other.

satoru found out you had no clue about Jujutsu, given by the way you’d never heard of jujutu tech or of him. he couldn’t stop himself from giving you a charming smile, scribbling his number on a napkin before saying goodbye, a smile on his face as he walked out of the coffee shop.

you who on the second date asked him what animal he thinks he could fight and win, asking him his favorite songs and if he’d ever been to a concert before.

you who on the fourth date had him giggling, confessing how much he liked you and telling you all about his life because he wants this to work out so bad and it can’t start off as a lie.

you who a week later calls him, asking him to answer truthfully when you ask him what animal he could really take in a fight, laughing when he answers with ‘at least a cow’ his lips curling upwards at the sound.

he’s laying on the couch with you, your hands lost in his hair as the movie plays in the background softly, your voice is quiet as you speak up.

“do you have a middle name?” the question is simple, some might think it silly. but to satoru it’s like his whole world is flipped upside down.

because here he is, in your warm and homey apartment that’s nothing like his cold larger one, with you, who brings him all the love and joy he could’ve ever imagined. he’s looking at you with glimmering eyes, heart stuttering at the sight of you in his shirt that you’d stolen with a smile.

it’s with that question that he’s realizing he’s finally found someone who really wants to know him. who doesn’t care for his power or status, but cares for his terrible jokes and interests.

“toru?” you asked, pulling him out of his daze and back to reality.

“sorry” he smiles sheepishly before shaking his head ‘no,’ a look in his eyes you can’t quite place.

satoru finally finds himself with titles that mean something to him. titles that he cherishes and holds close to his heart.

Gojo Satoru, who eats anything and everything that was sweet, claiming they’re no match for the sweet taste of your lips.

Gojo Satoru, who had an insane secret obsession with romcoms. an obsession you were sure was just to get you to cuddle him until you found him up at 3 am watching a terrible hallmark movie all on his own.

Gojo Satoru, who couldn’t stand when you were mad at him, going to drastic measures for you to forgive him.

Gojo Satoru, who considered himself lucky enough to hold the title of your boyfriend, your confidant and your favorite sorcerer.

#he said he could fight a kangaroo #we all know that's a lie

3K notes · View notes

xxplastic-cubexx · 4 months ago

Text

obligatory beach divorce doodling

bonus rough cover redraw of x-men #41 (1995) But Beach Divorce below cut

#mcu #marvel cinematic universe #xmen #xmen movies #xmen first class #cherik #charles xavier #erik lehnsherr #professor x #magneto #snap sketches #'snap i thought you were drawing old cherik this weekend' so did i but i was inflicted with visions sorry </3 #i have my lil 92 comic sketched so ill do that tomorrow. not finish it but ill work on it 💀#i wsa just gonna draw the first thing but then i figureed i might as well draw Most of the beach-divorce-related things i want to #just so i could put it all on one post. however this is a lie and i know ill wanna doodle more beach stuff #the first drawing Unsurprisingly was motivated BY the xmen 41 legion quest cover- at the very least the total blackout of erik's face #i wanna draw more of erik using his powers .. i wanna figure out how i wanna draw the effect etc etc #i was just gonna redraw the cover but i already liked the sketch i did of the first thing so. here we are #plus i figure someones already done a redraw of the cover but if anyone cares ill finish my version ig LOL #as for the comic ermmm it was just an excuse to draw erik with glowing eyes </3 and fading-glowing eyes </3 #thats why i didnt draw the whole. Choking Moira bit. but i wouldve if i was redrawing the whole scene #kinda wish i did now that i think of it cause it coulda looked cooler prob but oh well maybe in like. three months when i redraw this #for exactly five cents ill redraw the whole beach divorce erlkjealkaje i can see it so clearly in my mind #what if first class was a comic drawn by a freak thatd be wild #but yeah thats why everything look rough as christ these were just supposed to be silly lil thangs #'silly things' and its beach divorce OK.#ok bye im gonna do my homework

4K notes · View notes

asirensrage · 2 years ago

Text

Well, just about done S5 of My Hero Academia. All that's left is 6...

#and then maybe I will be free!#we all know that's a lie #but it'll be more controllable...#after I catch up on the manga #mha

0 notes

that1notetaker · 10 months ago

Text

In which Lucifer starts getting comfortable, forgets social boundaries, and Alastor kind of does so too. Nifty takes 1 interaction and makes it a whole plot.

3K notes · View notes

poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year ago

Text

Laios's three Boy Best Friends. And yes, they hate him.

#dungeon meshi #laios touden #toshiro nakamoto #chilchuck tims #kabru #BF in this context could be boyfriend or best friend. The line is so blurry.#Chilchuck less so but whatever is going on between Shuro and Laios & Kabru and Laios is giving strong:#“dude if you were a girl I'd date the hell out of you”. And from the genderswap extra's that sentiment is canon for BOTH.#This was made prior to the translation of the Laios & Kabru & Shuro restaurant date comic and honestly I am just feeling vindicated.#I don't even know what to call this dynamic other than a situationship. There is so much going on between all of them.#Even on a purely platonic reading - the miscommunication and male yearning for friendship hurt so bad.#When we got the Big Hug scene in the epilogue arc I was whooping and hollering! Pure catharsis moment!#I also don't like hugs very much so I really felt it went Shuro ('hates being touched') went in for the bear hug.#Do not get me started on the agony of 'always lying' Kabru telling the truth (I just wanted to be friends)#and 'always believes' Laios thinking it's another lie and brushing him off.#I am once again supporting dungeon meshi day by posting art. Please watch dungeon meshi.#obligatory edit because I’m tired: YES. Chilchuck cares for Laios and him admitting it was a huge part of his arc #YES he is more just fed up with him that actually hating him.#I needed a third guy to be canonically done with his ass for the THREE WEED SMOKING GIRLFRIENDS reference

2K notes · View notes

clockworkreapers · 3 months ago

Text

Vol 3 Jack really went though it huh

#he really did tho that last part man.... i would say you need therapy but your last therapist sucked #Jack needs a vacation #well he got one- they all got one but we all know how that went huh #these characters really can not catch a break #oh also jerry is there but im not tagging him #tales from the gas station #art #artwork #fanart #tftgs fanart #tftgs jack #he did not lie when he said he looks younger when his hair grows out- i remember that #do i tag Ricardo? idk no ones gonna get that unless theyve read the books i doubt its a tag #illustration #tftgs vol3 #jack townsend #dont ask why im posting this so late my time

475 notes · View notes

arcanarix · 2 months ago

Text

pussydrunk geto who can’t ever, EVER get enough of yours

your perfect pussy is all he thinks about, to the point where it distracts him from his typical duties because the only thing motivating him to get all of this extra shit out of the way is getting to come back to you and to bury himself between your legs until he makes a whole ass lake of your arousal before he does it again while you’re squirting endlessly on his cock. crying and begging for him to keep going even if you’re completely spent because you just fucking loooooove his attention and he’s so happy to give it to you.

even while he’s in the middle of exorcising dumb monkey clients or some shit he’s thinking about you on his shoulders while you’re grinding on his tongue and he’s making that perfect pussy rain all over the fucking floor and he doesn’t care because his monkey goons can just clean the shit up (or he can too, he’ll happily do that, you have no idea how happy he is to be your dirty nasty dog). or he’s thinking about spreading your pussy and displaying it to his monkey fucker goons and making them all wish they can have what they can’t, fucking you stupid on his fingers while they worship him

or he just wants to play pussy inspector and punish you a little for pleasuring yourself if he believes you have while he’s away and you play along of course, because of course all he wants is an excuse to lose himself in his favorite pussy until all of his face, his hands and his cock is all drenched in your juices

#geto smut #suguru geto smut #geto x you #geto x reader #geto x y/n #yandere suguru geto #yandere geto suguru #can be with non sorcerer readed or sorcerer reader w/e tickles yer fancy #but we all know where my preferences lie lol #thotbubbles

243 notes · View notes

signanothername · 2 years ago

Text

He’s not impressed with your self destructive behavior

3K notes · View notes

lewiscarrolatemybrain · 1 year ago

Text

Friendly reminder that the suffering and torment Xie Lian experienced actually made him LESS kind, and the lessons he learned as a result of that pain were that human life is meaningless and compassion is worthless and people don't deserve your help or care or love for them. Xie Lian had to backtrack and reject these new lessons in favor of the old ones he had already known in order to return to being kind.

Xie Lian losing everything he loved and knew, being stripped of his power, autonomy, safety, and community, and being ridiculed and humiliated, did not teach him anything worth knowing. He did not learn any valuable or important lessons from it. In fact, he needed to consciously decide that he wasn't going to let it change him and work to go back to the person he was before all that shit happened in order to avoid turning evil.

#TGCF #Xie Lian #Heaven Official's Blessing #i thought we were past this discourse but it's on my dash again #xie lian did not need to endure all that crap to learn any lessons #xie lian does not have a hero's journey!#TGCF is a flat arc #the protagonist starts off already knowing the thematic truth #it's the rest of the world that believes a lie

1K notes · View notes

imsofreakingtired · 12 days ago

Text

You: why are you complaining about your back all the time?

Sevika: it's probably from carrying the whole fucking Undercity

#where is the lie #it's always team vander or team silco but we all know they'd be NOWHERE without Sevika 😭#arcane incorrect quotes #sevika #sevika x reader #sevika arcane #sevika x you #sevika headcanon

285 notes · View notes

odd-chips · 8 months ago

Text

(Tents fingers) So I've had a very indulgent Lethal Company OC concept on the mind for a while, and now that I've drawn it, of course it's spiraled into a 80+ panel comic HILJKFD

Employee names are tentative right now, but they go by Cap'n, Kid (shortie, actual name is Scoot), Skeets (tall one, short for Skeeter) and Mav (wide one, goes by that or Maverick). Genders are also tentative, but I'm warming up to the idea of them all being women with Kid being the only boy!

Value keys for the comic are under the cut, along with some story beats/thumbnails and the uncensored version of Cap'n's injuries from the attack! (It's sketchy, but it is drawn gore so be warned!)