#way to go you funky lil pilot

[misscinnamonroll16]

Brozone Playlists

on to Clay. He's got a lot of wide range because he either likes the beat, it's go music to dance to or he just likes it. He's got a blend of pop, funky, classical and some rock.

Previous Brother Next Brother

My band by D12

Bills, bills, bills by Destiny’s child

Diggy Diggy Hole by Wind Rose (great song btw)

What it is by Doechii

FIFTY FIFTY by Cupid

Chop Chop Slide by Insane Clown Posse

Cinderella Snapped by Jax

Fall out boy songs 

Everywhere I go by Hollywood Undead

Darkside by NEONI

Punk tactics by Joey Valence and Brae

My Family by Migos, KAROL G, Snoop Dog and Rock Mafia 

Valentino by Years & Years & MNEK (Clay only likes it for the vibes, Floyd and John like it because they’re gay 

Panic at The Disco 

Billionaire by Bruno Mars and Travie McCoy

I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME by CHOKE 

I’m mad at disney by Salem Ilese (ironically)

Britteny Spears 

Bossy by Kelis ft Too $hort

Milkshake by Kelis 

My Oh My by Camila Cabello

Jesus of Suburbia by Green Day 

Telephone by Lady Gaga featuring Beyonce 

Good girls go bad by Cobra Starship 

Sarcasm by Get Scared 

Barbie girl by Aqua

Yeah by Usher ft Lil Jon & Ludacris

Apple bottom jeans by Flo Rida

Shut up and Drive by Rhanna 

Three Little Pigs by Green Jelly (it’s silly dumb song)

Scream & Shout by Will.I.Am featuring Britteny Spears

Bad Romance but specially the punk version

Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani 

Fergalicious by Fergie 

Rude boy by Rihanna 

What’s my Name by Rihanna 

Lazy Song by Bruno Mars

Everybody talks by Neon Trees 

American Idiot by Green Day

Lip Gloss by Lil Mama

Bad Boy by Cascada 

LMFAO by Party Rock Anthem

Blood by MCR

Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F) by Katy Perry

Love the way you lie by Eminem featuring Rihanna

Super Bass by Nicki Minja

Twenty One Pilots

Bowling for soup (he’s not proud of this one)

Squidward’s Nose by Cupcakke 

Don’t trust me by 3OH!3

House of Cards by Thembe X

Villain by K/DA

Cinderella’s Dead by EMELINE 

Brozone songs

and some classical songs but I don't really care for classical

[thefootnotes]

scaled & icy live

an hour, huh? i best get comfy.

it's all under the cut xx

the graphics are kinda funky

OH IS THIS WHERE THE PANSEXUAL FLAG COLOURS CAME FROM OKAY

i can get hype about some pink blue and yellow fr

wait is this meant to be the dema morning show?? thats so fucking funny though. thats actually so fucking funny.

okay wait so in this dema universe, in the lore, twenty one pilots is still a band? tyler joseph and josh dun are still a band?

why is he sad :(

"is that. number 16 cotton candy" bitch ofc it is

YEAH JOSH WHERE ARE YOU

u good tyler

whats with the wookie noises

into choker tho is beautiful

THE STAGE AGH

sorry brief mention to how fucking good josh looks in this video oml

the stressed out bridge coming in there????

wait are these the bishops little minions or smth cause theres too many of them to be the bishops

this is a vibey little live version

man sidenote im so ordering merch this weekend

wait wahts the light thing at the back

is that supposed to be the nine towers?

oh into migraine?? was not expecting that

"depresS" everybody fucking freeze. "ive thoughts."

into morph??

its a little all over the place but in a good way?? does that make sense

wait no bring back tylers agonised screaming

"my personal favourite, mulberry street" i hate you but same

YES MULBERRY STREET

KEEP YOUR BLISS THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS FUCK YEAH

the murals. yes

josh just doin his lil bounce in the back tho

whats with the chick wtih the teddy bear

that guy was not there before was he???

and back to the piano. agh.

the little adlibs afkdlsjfdsklfjsld

see in my head all these dancers are banditos and i will take no argument

in two days i will know this mulberry street choreo by heart. just saying

when tyler and josh are looking for people for their next venture i will be ready. im telling you now.

that girl in the front in the skirt ate that

wait whos this girl

LANE BOY FUCK YEAH

whats with the gas masks? are you my mummy? /ref

wait where did josh's shirt go not that im complaining

anybody want to learn this choreo with me too

wait i wonder if i can convince my partner to do this at our wedding actually (long long way away but i picture it being Highly Amusing)

joshs hair is just so good in this video idec

joshua william dun was that a lip bite and a wink. god fucking damn

oh hello guitar

into chlorine?? okay this setlist is. wow

whats with all of joshs costume changes??

okay tylers coat is eating here now tho

shy away yessss

the set for this is so interesting too

shy awAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

his little dance is so cute stop

also side note josh ate that fit so hard

"it brought tears to my eyes" same, dude. same.

ok that was fucking weird

that shirt should be so ugly so why is he kind of eating

the outside yes

josh in the onesie wtf😭 he's so!!!!!

hey bud where u goin

just casually breakdancing in the street. ok

"shut uP!" lmaooo

the water into the night sky into the backdrop is beautiful

THE UKULELELLELELELLELELE

WAIT HEATHENS ON UKE??? THIS IS GORGEOUS

wait he's in a boat thats so fucking cool

the sets for this are jsut fucking brilliant

i love this being just sort of him and the ukulele. i love it.

torchbearers back yaaaaay

ohhhh jumpsuit???? and the set gives the mv vibes

and then immediately into heavydirtysoul???

tyler periodically turning into a velociraptor is feeding my soul tbh

why are the hosts gradually looking more and more demonic/dead

SATURDAY AYYYYYYY

the disco ball lmaoo

the vibes here are immaculate

wait???? is that jenna?????????????????????

her sweater is so fckn cute tho

him getting off the phone and just going "oooooooooooooooOoOooooooooOOOOOOooOoOOOOOOOOoooooo" is such a mood

the BOOMBOX yES

LEVEL OF CONCERN FUCK YEAH

oooooh the backdrop here is fire?? the colour palette fdjklfjkldj

the remixed vibes of all the songs are fucking slapping. are they available to stream or anything anywhere??

riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide!!!!!!!!

the visuals have been on point this entire video can i just say

also tylers shirt is so cool???

all the horn instruments are intriguing me

josh is so!!!!!!!!!!

car radio!!! car!!!!!!! radio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this song mostly just makes me want to cry actually. but

wait the mask!!!! the!!!! mask!!!!!

THE MASK IS OFF!!!!

well that was short lived

all the sirens and the freaking out and hes just like 🥰👉👈👏👏

NEVER TAKE IT

everythings on fire. again.

the little adlibs are so fucking cute tho

also i love when tyler just fuckin. screams

the three guitars in the one shot is such a fuckin vibe

the two in the back just clapping😭

and then there were two....

the lil dragon omg

oh look whos back on the couch

choker again????? yay??????

no tyler dont be sad :(

the overhead shot of all the sets>>>>>>>>>

yeah bitches you better clap for them

wAIT THEYRE CLAPPING FOR US

no cause josh and tyler at the end there kdfjfsdjfjdksl cuties

wow okay so much to unpack there im gonna go grab some chocolates and soda water

okay i've got the chocolates and soda water.

wow! so that was quite the experience. i can kind of understand how it all ties in with the clancy storyline, but it also feels like its not really *integrated* in the storyline. at least not for me at this point.

i really really enjoyed that whole video itself, regardless of lore. it was just a very interesting and cool way to present those songs

god i wish!!!!! there was a higher quality video. i couldnt find one on any of the sites i normally use, most of them said they were taken down, so.. :(

i dont really get what was happening with the woman and the man, the hosts? like i get that they were hosting but their whole vibe was off and they kept seeming to look injured/possessed/straight up weird. so.

im gonna take a quick break, maybe 15 minutes, to just draw a little bit and have some food and water and then i'll come back to the saturday video. i'm just sort of losing my focus and i need to do something else rq to kind of get my head back into it! so brb!

[sollucets]

get to know me tag

as tagged by @ranchthoughts, @twig-tea, and @troubled-mind! thank u everyone 💜🥰

do you make your bed? literally never!

what's your favourite number? 52. i picked it as a child and i don't remember why, but it pleases me still

what is your job? i'm a humble lil grocery store employee

if you could go back to school, would you? if i could quit my job and go to school and still have my same money, then yes, i should think so, but that's super not happening! it might be nice to have a second degree. i think history would be fun

can you parallel park? yes i can! i used to have to do it every day to park in front of my last house. >:c

a job you had that would surprise people? i think all of my jobs have been either rather generic or right on the nose for what people would expect of me so probably not. i was a nighttime gas station attendant for a fair bit of college, which could be a surprise i guess? everyone always goes ":0 but werent you scared????" and like, no, not most of the time, but sometimes you do it scared yknow

do you think aliens are real? yes, but real in a way that there are many real things i can't see and don't understand (protons, gender, etc)

can you drive a manual car? i could do that once and probably still can, but it's been a long long time since i practiced

what's your guilty pleasure? as far as media goes, i do my very best not to have things like this. if i feel bad about liking it i generally do not like it for very long. i would say the closest is being into kpop, but it's not like i keep that a secret, i just dont really want to engage with kpop fandom, so i dont often post or talk about it publicly. a real guilty pleasure is that i like cherry pepsi too much

tattoos? i have one; he's on my left forearm & he's an abstract little spaceman with a fern for a head. i call him my cosmonaut. i have plans for more but i never have the time or money lately

favorite color? we know this one already surely. 💜

favorite type of music? ohh, i don't like to discriminate hehe. my very favoritest songs usually have fun harmony or funky rhythms, though, and it's best if i can sing along

do you like puzzles? sure! i used to have a book of fairy puzzles when i was a kid that i love dearly even now

any phobias? i am afraid of all bugs, but i can be a grownup about most kinds of them. i Cannot be a grownup about moths or centipedes, which i am terrified of (using those words will cause this post to be filtered for me on tumblr). i try not to kill them if i can avoid it, since it isnt their fault i'm like this, but i,,, i really can't, i'm useless if i see one. when id find centipedes in my room at my last house i wouldnt be able to sleep.

favorite childhood sport? i did tennis all of middle and high school, explicitly because of ryoma echizen prince of tennis lol. i was on varsity! i also figure skated as a kid. both are still fun when i get the chance

do you talk to yourself? oh yes all the time. i keep odd hours so i used to accidentally wake my roommate cause i just kind of absentmindedly chatter abt everything

what movies do you adore? i am not really a movie person if i'm perfectly honest; i don't watch them often as an adult. from my childhood my favorite movies were kenneth branagh much ado about nothing, the princess bride, pokemon 2000, and return of the king

coffee or tea? neither, i dont like most hot drinks. apple cider is ok now and again but i usually drink it cold, and im horribly picky about hot chocolate

first thing you wanted to be growing up? i changed this answer all the time as a kid and i have records of me doing so in my old notebooks lol! answers i know about include "pilot", "author", "dragon", and "eowyn"

this one seems like it might be a little personal so im shy to tag people hehe. go ahead and put me down if you want to do it though; i will be happy to know :)

[adrift-in-thyme]

Tag Game to Better Know You!

Send this to people you’d like to know better!

Tagged by @anakincito Tysm!!

What book are you currently reading? Umm not reading a book atm. Just various fanfics

What’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year? Multiverse of Madness

What do you usually wear? T-shirt and sweatpants

How tall are you? That’s classified 😉

What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event? Aquarius! And I have no idea lol

Do you go by your name or a nick-name? Nick-name with family and friends. Name with everyone else

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child? Nope! I wanted to be so many things when I was a kid and I’m none of them. (That’s for the better I assure you. I wasn’t made to be a pilot or a race car driver XD)

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one? Nope! And do fictional characters count? XD

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at? Good at listening. Bad at detail.

Dogs or cats? CATS

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year? Oh that’s hard. Umm fave line(s) have to be these from Memories, my OoT Zelink fic

Let Hyrule forget him. Let his legacy drown beneath the prosperity of the kingdom he saved. There is only one person who he needs to remember him.

There is only one person with whom he is home.

What’s something you would like to create content for? LINKED UNIVERSE. And I’m fully planning to in the new year 😉

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with? ZELINK MY BELOVED. Also, LoZ in general and Linked Universe. Basically just obsessed with the funky lil elf people

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year? Most of the MCU stuff that was released 😆

What’s a hidden talent of yours? Idk maybe drawing? I’m not like totally awesome at it or anything but I do pretty ok

Are you religious? Yup! I’m a Christian!

What’s something you wish to have at this moment? MOTIVATION. I need to finish two fics before Christmas and my brain is NOT COOPERATING.

Tagging @starport-seven-five @louwhose @zeldaelmo @tired-twili @thortiddy @woulduknowmore and anyone else who wants to do this!

[narcissusanasui]

1AM Voltron Shenanigans Part 1

A collection of highlights from my sleep-deprived conversations with @farklelucas (go check out katie i love her) about my sons.

Part 1: Languages (shance)

to stay well-practiced in his bilingual abilities, lance takes to making little jokes to himself in spanish

which sometimes turned into little comments about his team members

which he thought no one else would understand (other than like the basic spanish hunk picked up from visits to the McClain household)

except one day shiro hears and replies

shiro, at some point: “lance, you realize i lived and worked near the mexican border - yeah, i picked up spanish”

lance trying to get payback by secretly studying japanese bc of course pidge has something for that on her invincible laptop

but it’s hard bc dang the romantic languages use a lot of the same letters and don’t have multiple alphabets and scripts 

and of course shiro is flattered and wants to help

S: “lance can you just ask me to help you please”

L: “shiro you can’t be this skilled and hot and helpful AND fluent in three languages”

S, mumbling: “...ive”

L: “...what was that”

S: “uh, five languages”

L: “IM GONNA DIE”

those five languages being:

japanese from his family

english from growing up in america

spanish from school and living in the southwest

galran, picked up during his year in captivity (some other fighters in the ring were kind enough to help him early on)

altean, self-taught over the course of many sleepless nights with the castle library

he’d ask coran to check his work sometimes, which makes the space uncle CRY tears of joy

also knows a little bit of korean 101 - wanting to help keith hold on to what little of his dad’s language he could remember

he explains as much to lance

L: “oh so SIX LANGUAGES”

S: “well, five and a half”

Matt, just walking in: “what, did lance find out about you trying to bribe my dad to teach you italian on the kerberos mission? we didnt even have anything to write with! I DON’T EVEN KNOW ITALIAN”

L, turning to shiro: “WHAT ARE YOU? THE GODDAMN ROSETTA STONE???”

for shiro’s next birthday, the team made him an infinity gauntlet of language as a gag gift

shiro, crying, having the time of his life in five different languages: “thanks guys, gracias, arigatou, vrepit sa-”

keith: “yeah yeah, at least learn some morse code. send us SOS every time your ass is in mortal danger”

a few nights later

keith, waking up to his communicator blinking like mad: “wtf???”

shiro, from his own comms in his room: .... . -.-- / ... --- / .... -.-- .--. --- - .... . - .. -.-. .- .-.. .-.. -.-- / .... --- .-- / .-- --- ..- .-.. -.. / .. / --. . - / .- / --. ..- -.-- / - --- / - .- -.- . / -- . / .- ... -.- .. -. --. / .... .. -- / --- ..- - / ... . .-. .. --- ..- ... .-.. -.-- ..--.. [hey so hypothetically how would i get a guy to take me asking him out seriously?]

keith, yeeting his comms at shiros door: “BITCH IDK”

K, in korean: “shiro you dumb mofo please just ask lance out”

lance, only able to make out his name, sticking his head into hallway: “KEITH CAN YOU STOP TALKING SHIT ABOUT ME TO SHIRO PLS”

the next day at breakfast

K, in choppy spanish so allura nearby doesnt eavesdrop: “im sick of being a middle man just ask shiro tf out”

L, oblivious: “how do YOU know spanish???”

K: “IM TEXAN. AND SHIROS MY BROTHER. FIX YOUR SHIT, MCCLAIN”

Hunk, actually sitting on lance’s other side the entire time, in Samoan: “ALL of you need to get your shit together”

the chaotic multilingual slow-burn comes to a close when they get back to earth

lance and shiro find a new language to take some classes for their first date: asl

happily recommended by some of lance’s cousins

shiro: “it’ll be great for communication during missions! and i can’t believe i never thought of taking it”

they first say “i love you” via asl either on a mission or in a comfortable silence on lance’s beach

years and years later they’re married and adopt a bunch of kids (alien and human alike) including a cute deaf/HoH kiddie from earth

and that’s the end of part 1

[storeboughtbrand]

TOP GUN COUNTRY AU! PT.2: COUNTRY BOOGALOO

PREV || NEXT

*The class of 86’ got to witness young Mav’s toss-ability at the O Club, so it’s only fair that, as their successors, the baby pilots get to see it too at the Hard Deck."

Let’s just say Slider did NOT make a good first impression on his new nieces and nephews 😅.

It started as a typical night of drinking at the Hard Deck. It’s been about a week or so since the Uranium Mission, and the kids are hanging around the pool tables. Every pilot called back to TOP GUN is still there as the higher-ups haven’t decided what to do with them yet.

(And they are afraid to bring up the topic to Admiral Kazansky again after he sent that 2 star-admiral running away from his office with his tail tucked between his legs and looking one second away from shitting himself. *it was not Cyclone and Warlock)

So, for now, the baby pilots are enjoying their leave by drinking some good-ass beer and enjoying each other’s company.

They all are a fond sight around the base for everyone who works there. It’s rare for someone on staff to see Captain Mitchell walking around and not be accompanied by one to two of his students trailing behind him like ducklings. Warlock almost burst out laughing once when a visiting Admiral had to do a double take when he saw a giant moving mass of 12 Naval Pilots on the Tarmac and then saw the tiny 5’7 figure of Maverick somewhere in the middle before disappearing from view because he’s shorter than most of them. It was all thanks to a well placed elbow nudge in the side from Beau that saved his career.

So yeah, just a funky lil old pilot and his 12 adopted naval pilots.

While the Daggers are chatting, a tall man (6’2) walks in wearing aviator sunglasses and a leather G-1 Jacket. He’s wearing a lot of patches, but it’s hard to determine what each of them is.

The jacket catches Bob’s eyes, and he points out the guy to the rest of the squad, who turns to look at him. They all watch as he looks around the room and before his eyes land on  Maverick who’s sitting at the bar, chatting with Penny. He starts walking towards Mav slowly, looking like he’s trying to sneak up on Mav. Fanboy, with narrowed eyes, quietly says the guy looks like a lion stalking its prey. Now, normally, a comment like that would get a laugh out of some of the pilots, but they’ve all got a bit too much alcohol in their systems. Instead, they all tense, and now everyone is watching this guy like a hawk.

The kids watch as the guy lunges at their Mavdad from behind and gets him in a bear hug. Then he drags Mav off the stool, who lets out a startled cry, and suddenly, the entire squadron is on their feet.

But they all relax but don't stop watching when the man starts spinning him around in a circle, laughing.

They all have the same thought running through their heads.

"Aight, cool, this guy must be a friend of Captain dad. I wonder how long it's been since they've seen each - OH MY GOD!” – and then proceed to go into smoke in the air panic mode as the unknown man fucking launches Mav HIGH into the air. Like this man almost touches the mug display on the ceiling.

The kids go into full-on – frothing at the mouth – protective mode and are already making their way over with Phoenix and Hangman leading the charge.  The guy catches Mav easily, and the kids breathe a sigh of relief. But then they see this guy is winding up for another pitch and are like – “I think the fuck NOT!”. They’ve got this MF’s ass in a radar lock.

No, this was no man.

This was a boogie - an ENEMY - and they’ve got tone.

The Guy and Mav turn to see the approaching Daggers, and the guy puts Mav down but keeps his hands on Mav’s hips. Mav lights up at the sight of his students and opens his mouth.

“Hey, guys! I’ve got someone I want you to me-”

But his kids don’t hear a word he is saying. They are all gone; they’ve gone completely raptor feral.

Phoenix is the first to land an attack. She jumps on the guy’s back and latches on to him like a spider monkey. She gets her forearm against the front of his neck and pulls hard; Penny says later that he sounded like a dying horse, even if Slider disagrees.

She gets the Boogie to let go of Mav’s hips, and Coyote quickly picks him up and cradles the old aviator in his arms while Bob and Fritz check him for injuries. With Mav safely out of harm’s way, the rest of the kids go in for the kill.

Hangman dives in for the tackle, grappling the man around his waist and pushing overboard out the front door of the Hard Deck. Rooster runs to the door and holds it open allowing the screaming trio out onto the sand, the rest of the kids follow closely behind screaming bloody murder.

Phoenix and Hangman try to wrestle the man down on the ground, but he isn’t giving up and fights back with all he’s got. He’s thrashing around, kicking up sand, and prying Phoenix off his back. She looks like she’s riding a raging mechanical bull. He’s not ready for the full force of a flying Rooster tackling him, and the Tree of a man goes down.

Then out of nowhere, a volley of pool noodles starts raining down on the Boogie.

Somehow, the other pilots had each found a pool noodle lying around and were now wielding them like baseball bats.

The Boogie gives up on trying to phoenix off him and brings his hands up to defend him. He’s able to rip Fanboy’s pool noodle out of his hands and whacking them back.

Fanboy runs off because he spots something out of the corner of his eye. When he comes running back into view, he’s holding a giant Eagle Floaty high above his head and screaming like Tarzan.

The Boogie’s eyes go wide, and he tries to escape harder, but it is hard for him when he keeps getting whacked in the head with a pool noodle.

They’ve got this guy on the ropes, and the guy is basically beaten into the ground.  He’s pinned down by the combined strength of Rooster, Hangman, and Phoenix. Fanboy stands over their downed foe, ready to deliver the final blow via plastic eagle.

“Lieutenants, stand down!”

And everyone freezes in mid-motion, the direct order from a commander officer unable to be ignored.

Phoenix still has the guy in a headlock. Hangman’s got his arms wrapped around the guys legs, holding him down.

Rooster’s half lying on top and half holding down the man’s torso.

Payback, Omaha, Halo, Harvard, and Yale all have paused mid-swing of their pool noodles.

Fanboy has the giant eagle float high above his head, ready to dive bomb straight into the man’s face.

At the entrance of the Hard Deck, stands Maverick, looking at all of them in shock. Behind him are Coyote, Fritz, and Bob who try to drag Mav back into the bar so they can fuss over him.

Hangman: Pops, go back inside; we’ve got this motherfucker handled.”

(-What! Who’re you calling a motherfucker-)

Maverick: While I do agree he is a fucker (-HEY-), he’s a fucker I would like intact and without a concussion.

Mav turns to look at the beaten man and says, “You okay, Slider?”

The Man glares at Mav - “Just fucking peachy, Pete.”

Mav winces at the use of his first name.

The rest of the pilots ready their noodles for another swing cause no one talks to their Mavdad like that!

Then Rooster just stops and stares at the guy. Mav called him Slider, which definitely sounds like a callsign. And it sounds familiar. Why does he feel like he should recognize that name?

…………..

“Oh Shit, Uncle Slider?!???”

And the rest was history.

———————-

Needlessly to say, Mav was apologizing for the rest of the night while holding an ice pack against the side of Slider’s head while he nursed a free beer, courtesy of Penny.

The baby pilots all apologize too, and to Mav, they sounded sincere, but Slider can see them all glaring at him over Mav’s shoulder, though Rooster’s is less heated. It doesn’t help his case when he glares right back. It also doesn’t help when he slides his arm around Mav’s waist and pulls him flush against his side.

Mav just snuggles into his friend’s side, completely unaware his kids are plotting out Slider’s death using hand gestures so his friend can see precisely how they’ll do it.

Mav does eventually explain what the tossing was able and Rooster’s all like, “Oh yeah! I forgot all about that.” Slider just throws his hands up in the background.

Slider is peeved that he got attacked by Mav’s adopted horde, but Mav gives him a …..proper apology…….if you catch my drift, later that night.

And that’s the story of Slider first met and almost died by the hands and pool noodles of his new nieces and nephews. Sufficient to say, the retired RIO was immediately placed squarely in the category of Favorite Uncle the Daggers like to fuck with. It’s done with love tho.

An artist's (Fritz's) rendition of the climactic battle:

*Slider was not amused*

[jemmo]

Just saw you top 5 pran outfits and if you still do the top 5 asks: top 5 pat shirts 😊

ngl i just was both wishing someone would ask me this and praying no one would, bc even tho i think i prefer pran’s style personally, pat’s clothes just have such personality, they’re so much fun it’s so hard to choose. which is why im glad you asked shirts specifically bc my fave pat outfits are usually either 1) he just looks rlly hot or 2) he has on an awesome shirt, so here we go. i went for a two two split on novelty tshirts and hawaiian shirts and then threw in a wild card at the end lol

5. ep 1 lucky shirt- i told myself i wasn’t going to go off emotional connections for this but i just couldn’t help it. this shirt being in the pilot trailer just makes it so personal to me, like i remember watching the first ep and being like omg it’s the shirt, and that’s when it hit me that bad buddy was finally finally happening. but apart from that I love how baggy it is and with the shorts, how much of a child like feel it gives, bc as much as clothes can tell a story, going from this childish lounge vibe ep 1 to some of the fits he wears in ep 12 shows so much growth, it makes him feel so much more grown up at the end and i love that

4. ep 6 beach chat shirt - this kinda feels like a cheat bc it’s not exactly the shirt that caught my eye in this scene, it’s just that he looks rlly fucking hot, like for me this is one of the scenes where he looks the most breathtaking. but apart from me being a hoe, I still adore this shirt, esp the pops of orange. i love how the speak to the story as well, with these orange flowers blossoming against the beach background just as something is finally blossoming between him and pran

3. ep 3 tim hortons tshirt - i don’t rlly have any deep reasons for this one, i just rlly like the shirt, how fun it is, the writing on the back, the giant ass cookie on it, it’s just so random in the most pat way. and i know we’re supposed to be talking about shirts but these ripped lil demin shorts are one of my favorite pat staples, plus his flip flops it’s just so quintessential pat i adore it

2. ep 12 sending pran to the airport shirt - this is my wildcard, bc i just rlly like this shirt. the blue is such a good colour on him and the lil splashes of other colours are so fun but in a subtle way. his looks in ep 12 to me feel like he’s picked up on some of pran’s more understated stylings, swapping from his random tshirts and funky hawaiians to something more minimalist and grown up, but i love how this feels like a mid point between the two, so neatly styled and crisp looking but with these fun pops that are so pat i just… he looks so good here. i don’t know pran got on that plane

1. ep 5 fight scene shirt - again, like for my pran picks, who’s surprised. this shirt is an icon. it started a beautiful trend of pat getting feral in hawaiian shirts and for that i will be forever grateful. and like the other hawaiian shirt i love the pops of colour here for the pineapples, im sure @dribs-and-drabbles could tell you something wonderful about what these pops of yellow represent but i can’t say anything intelligent here bc im just too enamored with this entire fit

i would do some final shoutouts but honestly pat has too many awesome novelty tees and hawaiian shirts to list, his wardrobe is a serious point of envy. so ill shout out some personal faves that i feel are less talked about which are the ep 8 stripey polo he wears to bring pran breakfast in bed bc my headcanon is it’s pran’s shirt bc the stripes and interesting collar with contrast lining just speak to his styling so much, and the rainbow tie dye shirt at the end of ep 6 bc what other way to celebrate the gay awakening a finger lick can give you than a shirt that fucking loud. he looks fresh out a pride parade and i love it for him

[romeshifting]

Thought it would be fun to do a CYM (i think that’s what it’s called?) with random things from my room! I got tagged in one of these by @eyelash-curler, thank you for the idea! I’m not sure what actually counts for mutuals, so uh if I tag you hello I’ve heard of you @xoshifts --  Wooden rose I got from Medieval Times! I use it to be dramatic, and it was a prop in my performance of the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet with my then crush! You seem like a romantic, and I love that for you @pothead-on-the-shifting -- The tiny starbucks cup for water that I now stab pins into. You’re pretty down-to-earth, I think!  @shifting-ronpa --  A chocolate milk bottle with plastic knives and sticks in it. You look cute on the outside but you’re shifting to the killing game /lh @crowshifts --  The jar and container o’ fidgets, containing (but not limited to) rocks, dice, jewelry, trash, and actual fidgets. You’re pretty chaotic >:) @stimmingandshifting -- The mystical Bucket o’ thread {tm} I have to go through to get thread. I adore you, you’re very soft /p @peachshifting --  Spoon engraved with Cereal Killer: Weapon of Choice. Chaotic but in a funky way >:] @tombshifting --  Pilot Fish Poster. You’re very neat :) @aries-shifting -- The hexagon mirror section with photos and art around it. You’re chaotic, but in an clear and organized way. You don’t really know what you want to do except be you. That’s valid, you’re super cool!  @lilith-does-shifting -- Random cryptic pages I found on a hike. I think it’s a seating chart? It says salad bar on it and has multiple names, I haven’t been able to make heads or tails of it yet.  @shifterwithabucketontheirhead --  Spare tea bag. You give me tea vibes and I love that for you :) @x-luminescent-x -- A bottle with homemade confetti inside it. You’re wholesome and vibing!  @laveisleaving -- Lamp with a computer mouse and tape measure hanging from it. You’re a pillar of calm in the storm. Keep it up, I’m proud of you :) @shifty-bandit -- The many pictures of my friend’s cat. You give me cat vibes, you’re very cool!  @poppythewitcher -- Crushed diet coke soda pop can from three years ago. You look really badass and are very positive! Okay, a crushed can might not seem that positive but your vibes are immaculate  @lil-shifting-shit -- Balloon with sharpie written on it hanging from my wall! You’re chaotic but like, in a decorative way. Drink some water today and don’t forget to take care of yourself!  @fuckingrealityshifting -- The little plastic spider dude on my desk. You’re dark n cool and I love that for you  @shifting-lark -- The Plant Corner [TM]. Plant vibes, but chaotic. You’re super cool and look great in the sunlight (I HAVE NOT SEEN YOU IRL BEFORE I PROMISE IM TALKING ABOUT LARK) 

[moskaisley]

thin walls

gif cred: @mrpascals​

rating: NC-17 lol

word count: 3.1k 

warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT!! 18+ !! graphic depictions of sex, auralism, mentions of alcohol, jealousy, dumb oblivious clownery, a lil pining, a smidge of angst at the end u know me

a/n: 

this is a side story for my ongoing series “migraine” !! 

i NEEDED to write something fun since the last part of migraine was so angsty. i really wanted to just explore them having fun together and being bros!!! just vibin!!! being young and dumb!!! and ofc their obvious sexual tension before migraine girl and mando started their romantic relationship. idk when part 5 will be out since i have finals next week, but i definitely dont want to wait a month to post it LOL 

for now, enjoy this fun and sexy romcom bullshit 

summary:

“You’re the worst wingman ever,” You tease as you kick his calf lightly.

He kicks you back, “Look, the night isn’t over yet. I bet I can get at least one of these people to talk to you.”

You ponder over his challenge for a moment, and then shoot him a mischievous grin. Reaching into a pouch on your belt, you slap some credits onto the table.

“Spoils go to the winner,” you say with a smile, “You have one shot. Blow it and we both go home, casanova.” 

ao3 link

A rough shove from behind nearly had you on your ass in the middle of the firefight. A blaster shot whizzes by your head, nearly clipping you as you struggle to maintain your balance. Another shot goes off, and you hear a body crumple to the ground. You snarl as you bring your elbow around, only for it to be caught by a strong hand. 

“Easy!” Qin’s voice echoes in your ears, “A ‘thanks’ would be nice.”

You scoff, roughly tearing your arm from his grip, “I nearly sliced you in half, crazy bastard.”

“Oi, don’t get all riled up, sweetheart. If it weren’t for me, you’d be dead.”

“I’m not your fuckin’ sweetheart, Qin.”

He grunts, waving you off in annoyance. Rolling your eyes, you turn around to proceed forward, ready to berate your beskar clad partner for not watching your back. Yet, to your frustration, The Mandalorian is already far down the hallway, Xi’an bouncing in tow.

--

You’re not jealous.

You say it to yourself when you wordlessly slip away from your coworkers upon returning to one of Ran’s hangars, ignoring their confused looks and the “Oh Mando, you’re so in trouble” from Vidar. You say it to yourself when you lazily bonk your head against the shower wall in frustration, and you nearly scream it when you hear Xi’an’s breathy giggles from his bunk. 

This had been going on for weeks now.

A scrap sheet of durasteel could probably muffle more sound than the current wall you shared with the Mandalorian. And while for the most part, he was a respectful neighbor, it was times like these that you wished you could throw yourself into dead space. The first time you confronted him about the noise, it was almost cute at how awkward he was in apologizing to you. That night, amidst the wanton moans and cries of ecstasy coming from next door, you kept hearing him shush the Twi’lek in that gentle, gravelly voice of his. Even then, every noise still drifted into your bunk, but you decided to be merciful and save him any more embarrassment by keeping quiet. (You made a note in your head, though. He so owes you for this.) Instead, you picked up an old busted radio from the market, fixing it up and tuning in during crises like these. It only connected to one station, but you’d take Val Syko’s Quenk Jazz Jams over the sounds of your partner’s pleasure any day. 

But tonight, drowning in the funky sounds of Val’s extensive music collection wasn’t doing it for you. Mando’s groan echoes dully off the walls of your room, and your thighs instinctually press together in an attempt to quell the warmth pooling at your core. You press your fingers to the bridge of your nose. It was unfair, really. Mando was getting action at least once a week, yet your pool kept coming up empty, and you refused to fuck around with any of your current colleagues. Sighing, you check your watch; the night is still young and therefore, incredibly long. Your eyes dart over to your tiny closet, pursing your lips together in apprehension. Another one of Xi’an’s moans rings in your ears.

You know what? Fuck it.

It’s almost comical how the ship falls into abrupt silence when you knock on his door. 

“I’m going out,” you say quickly before he could open the door. Silence follows and you roll your eyes. 

“Don’t wait up. I’ll be late.”

--

You’re not sure why you thought your luck would change tonight. 

You were nursing your second drink, lazily twisting the straw in the glass and scanning around the cantina for anyone who could catch your eye. On your first round, there was a cute redhead who gave you a sweet compliment on your outfit, but your hope died when she slipped into a booth next to her boyfriend on the other side of the room. You let out a long, exasperated sigh, letting your head drop as you squeeze your eyes shut. This was a dumb idea. You’re gonna be listening to those two all night while Val plays that one song from Mooneyes for the thousandth kriffing time–

“Is this seat taken?”

You groan loudly at his stupid fucking modulated voice.

“I’ll take that as a no.” 

Mando slips into the stool next to you, leaning against the bar as he tilts his head.

“I wondered where you ran off to.”

“I can have my fun too, Mando.”

“Clearly,” he quips, gesturing to your lonely exasperated form, huddled over your drink.

“You’re so annoying, you know that?” 

You shove him and he laughs, head shaking at how easy you are to tease. Rolling your eyes, you take a sip from your drink. He shuffles a little, subtly leaning to the right, visor skimming over your backside. You smirk, catching him in the act.

“Hey!” You snap your fingers in front of his helmet, “Eyes up here, tin can.”

Pushing your hand to the side, he takes the hem of it in between his fingers and says, “I didn’t know you had clothes like these.”

“What? This old thing?”

Though your lifestyle didn’t allow for a big wardrobe, there were a few times you would indulge yourself in some of the finer things. The dress was oxblood in color, made of soft velvet with a high neck and open back. It hugged your body snugly, ending just above your knees with a leg slit that traveled up your thigh. It took a decent chunk from your paycheck, and you were so compelled to buy it that you didn’t even consider where you’d wear it. But you loved the way it made you feel, and it was a lovely change of pace from the typical bounty hunter getup you often sported.

“It looks nice on you,” he tells you, nonchalantly.

You swallow hard as his gloved fingers brush against your thigh. Dizzying warmth washes over you. What the hell? Drunk already?

“Thanks.”

“What’s the occasion?” He asks you, releasing his hold on your dress.

You shoot him a sardonic smile as you raise your glass, as if you’re toasting.

“I’m taking applications for a new partner. My old one was too busy getting his dick wet and I almost got shot. Had to be saved by Qin, of all people.”

“I dunno, Qin could be a worthy candidate. He seems to be very friendly with you, too.”

“Are you insane? He’s a kriffing psychopath. Almost as crazy as your girlfriend.”

“Hey, she’s not–”

You cock your brows at him and smirk.

He playfully punches your arm as you take another sip. 

“Alright, alright. I get it,” he says as you laugh at him, “Let me make it up to you. Are you trying to go home with someone tonight? I can be your wingman.”

You snort at the thought, “Yeah right. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Mando but you’re not exactly the most approachable person. And besides, no one here is really catching my eye. I think I’m just gonna go.”

You’re moving to stand up and pay until he grabs your arm to keep you still.

“No, wait. C’mon, stay. Lets–Let’s just have some fun.”

You smile earnestly at him; Mando’s insistence to spend time with you genuinely warms your heart, so you lean back to your seat and flag down the bartender.

--

Though a second set of eyes helped in checking out people that you may have overlooked, it kind of defeated the purpose when that set of eyes was known for being one of the fiercest warriors throughout the galaxy. You thought you were able to catch the eye of a particularly dashing fighter pilot, exchanging flirty glances and a little wave. But the second he saw you in an exchange with a Mandalorian, he was quick to dash out the cantina without so much as saying a word to you. Mando kept insisting you both stay, denying that his intimidating armor had any effect on your chances of getting laid.

“Mando, I’m telling you this in the nicest way possible, but you’re scaring people off.”

“Maybe they just like what they see.”

“You’re the worst wingman ever,” You tease as you kick his calf lightly.

He kicks you back, “Look, the night isn’t over yet. I bet I can get at least one of these people to talk to you.”

You ponder over his challenge for a moment, and then shoot him a mischievous grin. Reaching into a pouch on your belt, you slap some credits onto the table.

“Spoils go to the winner,” you say with a smile, “You have one shot. Blow it and we both go home, casanova.”

Needless to say, he fails. Miserably. 

The first person he goes up to must’ve been guilty of something. Because as soon as the Mandalorian stalks around the corner to his seat, the poor soul tosses his drink at him and dashes out the door. The metal man stands for a second in shock, and you see his shoulders slack as he lets out a defeated sigh. He rounds the bar back to you, Corellian rum dripping off his helmet and all over his beskar. Your stomach hurts trying to suppress the laughter building inside you, but you couldn’t help it. Your hand flies to your mouth as you snort loudly, laughing so hard that tears almost form in your eyes. You didn’t expect the night to go this way and your endeavors for a hookup had failed terribly, but it still made you happy to spend time with your friend all the same. 

“That wasn’t fair. Let me try again.”

You struggle to form a response between your laughs, “No–no way! I–I can’t watch that again.”

“C’mon, I didn’t even get to try. Gimme another chance.”

You shake your head, taking your credits off the table and slipping them back into your pouch. 

“Nope, rules are rules, Mando. Let’s just get outta here.”

“No way, I refuse to give up so–”

“She asked you to leave, buddy.”

You turn to look at the new voice, confused and a bit irritated for interrupting your exchange with Mando. You’re met with green eyes, strong shoulders, sexy scruff, olive skin, and a very dashing smile. Your retaliation dies in your throat, and your lips curl into a smile. Speak of the devil, and he shall appear.

Mando didn’t pick up on this though, “No, it’s not like that. We were just–”

“He was just going, actually. Right, Mando?” You look back at him and give him a wink, “I think I’ve had enough of you today.”

His helmet tilts upward in surprise, and then he chuckles lightly.

“Okay, then.”

He slides off his stool, gesturing to it for your new friend before walking out of the cantina. You watch Mando walk out the door, and the man takes over his seat.

“Was he bothering you?”

“No, actually,” You give him a sweet smile, “He’s a friend.”

He raises his eyebrows in surprise, “Friends with a Mandalorian, eh? What’s that like?”

“Well, they make awful wingmen,” you joke. 

“Is that so?”

“Why? Looking to take his place?”

“No, I’m here to buy you a drink.”

Catching your bottom lip with your teeth, you smile and your heart flutters.

“What’s your name?”

“Deo.”

--

He presses you up against the wall of the cantina outside, hands snaking up your waist and lips pressing hard against yours. Deo grabs and pulls at your flesh, slipping his tongue in your mouth and you moan against him. It’s been so long since you’ve felt someone this way, and it makes your skin sing in pleasure. When he pulls away, he keeps his forehead up against yours, breaths labored and heavy.

“So, mine or yours?”

A devious grin crosses your lips, “Mine.”

“Lead the way, sweetheart.”

You take his hand into yours, clinging to his arm for balance. The drinks have finally caught up to you and there’s a pleasant buzz warming your body as you try your best not to stumble through the streets. As you make it back to the Razor Crest, you stop in front of the side gate, opening the hatch as Deo’s hand meets the small of your back. You pull him up into the loading dock, and he digs his face into your neck, biting at the skin as you press buttons on the door panel. When it shuts, he pushes you up against the wall of the ship, sucking at the skin beneath your jaw and grinding his pelvis up against your ass. You try to suppress a mewl, as you push off the wall and turn to him. 

“Not here,” you whisper.

“Why not here?”

A muffled whimper comes from further away, and both of your heads abruptly turn to the source of the noise coming from behind Mando’s door.

Deo looks back to you, brows furrowed, “You sure this ship is yours, honey? Looks occupied.”

“Roommate. He won’t bother us, though.”

You shove him off of you and saunter over to your own bunk door. You turn around and beckon him to come with a single finger.

“C’mere.”

--

Your dress, along with Deo’s clothes, was left forgotten on the ground of your tiny room. He was quick to the draw, pulling your legs up so they wrapped around his hips and holding your ass for support. He pressed you up against the wall, pushing his cock inside you. You moan loudly, relishing in the feeling of his length filling up your pussy and the pressure of him crowding you against the metal. 

And that’s when you realize–

Deo is fucking you up against the wall you share with Mando. 

The mere thought of it makes you clench tighter around him and the smile on your face is downright devilish. Your partner can hear every lewd noise you make, just as you’d heard his, and it drove you crazy. Your body flushes with heat, wetness pooling at your core. Your arms pull Deo tighter against you, burying him deeper inside and mewling against his neck.

“Maker, you think he can hear you, honey?”

“Probably,” You let a breathy laugh against him, “Thin walls.”

A distinctly modulated groan echoes from behind you and you can’t suppress the grin that spreads along your lips.

Bastard.

You pull at the base of Deo’s neck, and guide his head to your chest. He nips and sucks at your collar bone, leaving another mark along your skin. Lifting a hand from your ass, he brings it to your breast, kneading it in his hands and running his thumb over your nipple. You whine as he begins to pinch it in between his fingers while he fucks up into you. Coincidentally, Mando’s moans reach your ears again only seconds later. 

So we’re playing this game, are we?

You squeeze Deo’s shoulder, the knot in your lower belly getting tighter and tighter the more you focus on the noises coming from the next room over. You know you shouldn’t, but you can’t help the image of your partner holding you like this, fucking you relentlessly against the wall you shared. You wonder if he looks anything like Deo; does he have the same green eyes? Or are they brown? What about his lips? How do they feel against yours? Your neck? Your cunt? You imagine that it’s his hands clutching and squeezing your soft flesh, his cock stretching you open, his stupid fucking voice whispering praises in your ear. 

“F–Fuck! I’m gonna cum,” you panted, pressure building up inside you, aching for release.

You swore, you heard Mando’s breath hitch behind you.

“Cum for me, sweetheart. Cum all over my cock.”

You nearly scream as you come undone around Deo, waves of pleasure washing over you. In your haze, a single thought crosses your mind: Mando was chasing his own release as well.

You know it, you feel it.

So you moan again.

--

“I had a good time tonight.” 

“I did too.”

You hug your body tightly, the air of the hangar was cool against your skin, and you were clad in only a thin shirt and shorts. Deo is holding your upper arms, smiling softly at you as you shivered.

Brushing a strand of hair away from your face, he presses a kiss to your forehead.

“We should do this again sometime,” he whispers against your skin, “Maybe, somewhere without your little roommate?”

You giggle, warmth heating up your cheeks.

“We’ll see.”

He bids you goodnight, and you walk back into the Crest, shutting the ramp behind you. You’re turning to go to bed when the sound of your partner’s door makes you freeze. The Mandalorian emerges, free of his beskar armor save for his helmet. He stops when he sees you, surprised by your presence at this hour. You stare at each other in silence for a few moments. 

And then you snicker, and he does too.

A pleasant feeling blooms in your chest at the sound of his laugh. You take a few steps closer to him, letting your arms fall to your sides.

“So,” he begins in a low voice, “You didn’t hear any of that, right?”

“Hear what?” You ask him, innocently, “I was a little preoccupied.”

“Really? I didn’t notice.”

You hold a hand against your mouth and giggle. 

“So,” he murmurs, “Who was he?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Mando cocks his head to the side, and you swear you see a glint of mischief flash along the t-shape of his visor. 

“Well, if I’m not mistaken,” he starts, taking a step closer to you. Your heart picks up in pace.

He gently pushes aside the collar of your shirt to reveal deep red marks blooming along your neck. Your stomach flips at the feeling of his bare fingers along your collarbone. Your throat goes dry.

“You owe me some credits.”

He stays still like this for a moment, and you take a deep breath, his touch feeling electric against your skin. When he goes to remove his hand, it’s instinct when you reach for it, clutching it and holding it in place. You feel him tense beneath you as your fingers wrap his palm. You swallow hard, drinking him in beneath the lowlight of the ship: the shine of his dumb helmet, how he towers over you, the warmth of his presence. 

You squeeze his hand, and to your surprise, he squeezes it back. His thumb traced over your fingers, and in your boldness, you gently pull it towards your cheek. 

“Mando?” you hear Xi’an’s voice call from his room. 

You shut your eyes tight, heart dropping to your stomach. Her call felt like ice water dumping over you, killing the warm, fuzzy feeling that engulfed you only moments earlier. You drop his hand quickly. You hug yourself, fingers buzzing so wildly with nerves, you need to hold it close to keep your hand from shaking. You clear your throat and shoot him a weak smile, avoiding his gaze. Bristling past him, you stop in your doorway and whisper.

“Goodnight, Mando.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

-

i imagine deo as jake gyllenhaal when he played mysterio just less of a crackhead. :)

taglist

@bella-ciaao @tiffdawg @peggers-n-beggers @sinnamon-bunn @adlerorzel-blog​ @theocatkov​ @paryl

thank u for reading, space cowboys <3

[ichayalovesyou]

Broken Bow parts 1 & 2 (Live Reaction):

Ah, so we’re kicking off with smarting up Archer’s prejudice against Vulcans that I know from all my Vulcantology research he grows out of. Neat.

Oh shit Klingon on earth?? Look at those glorious locks! Who are these weird squishy bendy dudes?? Oh that shiz EXPLODED. I’ve got my yeehaw phaser rifle and I kills a Klingon- fuck is THAT how the war started?! Whether or not that’s stupid remains to be seen.

Wowwwww this theme song... is... a lot. Star Trek, bruh, since when??? No. Just... no. Oh hey it’s Archer & Trip a lil’ light fantastic! Ngl Trip’s actually cute. Oh wow they really don’t know Klingons. Oh hey Phlox is here! I get where Archer is coming from about the plug pulling thing, even if Klingon culture is very “HONOR!!” and stuff. Even then, wouldn’t it be detrimental even to a warrior race for them to die when they can be healed?

Vulcans just love acting like everyone else is stupid don’t they? Wow everyone is racist at like, everybody (aliens wise) this definetly has established itself as pre-Federation. Ope! More new characters! Baby ensign dude (Travis!) and British ship’s engineer(?) oh hey it’s Hoshi Sato!! Oh look they’re acknowledging that aliens speak more than one language on their workds finally!! Behold T’Pol! She doesn’t sound like I thought she would? (Idk what that means lol but yeh)

Ohhhh man Trip, Vulcans don’t do haaands my dude, didn’t you get debriefed? But also would it have killed her to explain? Communicate damnit! Give us a speech elderly white boy! Yeehaw warp engines!! Cool speech call back or really it’s Kirk (& Picard and prob Pike soon) Doing the callback to Cochrane!

Oooh shady time travel aliens are back!! Phlox is here! I always got good/fun vibes from him, like, a lil’ creepy but in an entertaining way! Travis is adorable and I love him already, space station boyyyyy. THREE, THREE WHAT?? Travis’s generation are called Boomers?? LOL it makes sense that we’d have a baby boom after planetary colonization became possible but that’s practically a derogatory term now 😂

Time for a dinner chock full of microaggressions! Yup I was right, wowwwwwww everyone is being secret awful (T’Pol not so secret awful) but yeah I can see where all that VHS racism stuff comes from. Lol, oooooo Hoshi & T’Pol having a lil’ cat fight, Archer is such a dad lol. Poor Sato is so fucking stressed it’s okay gf! The ship is just not working and you’re learning Klingon and there’s an invisible alien aboard its FINE!! OH SHIT THAT KLINGON GOT KIDNAPPED!!!!!

Oh so the engineer’s name is Reed okay, oh this is the one with the Suliban. Wow T’Pol is kind of a bitch! She is just belittlement after belittlement, she’s like Spock but WORSE. Like, I’m definitely starting to understand Archer’s resentment toward them is coming from, not that it’s right, but it is understandable. Especially Vulcans have been having this sort of attitude toward humans (and other species) this whole time. Both races clearly have a LOT to learn.

Oh so this Suliban dude is a GMO, I actually freaking love Phlox. Good job Trip tryna bridge the gap between T’Pol and Archer but ooof still too salty. Oh wow! We’re going to Rigel for the first time okay?! Neat! Oof our Klingon boy out here getting interrogated oh shit! It wouldn’t be an earth 2000s scifi without a skanky bar and funky alien strippers. Uh oh Trip is about to make a mistake, oh thank god T’Pol stopped him *big exhale* everything is so new to us! It’s so interesting!

Ew creepy lady why u kiss him??? Oh it’s the “alien woman has to do (explicit/romantic action) to do (thing)” trope 🙄. Oh so there’s time travel shit going on??? Okay!!! What?! Okay! Man the GMO Suliban can do some seriously freaky shit! Okay I love Travis & Reed they’re cool, Reed is suave and Trav is adorable! OOp ARCHER GOT SHOT THE LEG! Close call close call!! Oh ffs T’Pol don’t take command, everything you’ve shown us so far is that you think humans are shit, hey maybe she’ll surprise me.

Ugh this is about to be- aaaaand it’s unnecessarily sexualizong T’Pol ����🙄🙄🤮🤮🤮. Trip can you please not call T’Pol out and be racist in the same sentence, I’d rather you just do the former please. OH YAY! T’Pol did surprise me! Good job T’Pol (and Trip... kinda... I guess). “One good turn deserves another” good line, but “doesn’t sound very Vulcan” is proof Archer really doesn’t understand Vulcans! Or at least not what they aspire to. Ohhhh Kay NOW we’re working together! Good! Good!!

I wonder who creepy time lord dude is. Sato THANK YOU why, WHY don’t starships have seat belts?!?! Makes no goddamn sense. Oh I was wrong earlier! Reed’s a pilot and Tucker’s the engineer, okay! I wonder what happened between this episode and Discovery (being the next closest in the timeline) that makes us enemies with the Klingons? Travis out here teaching Tucker how to drive I’m sure this will end well. I’m low key starting to get Bones-Spock energy from T’Pol & Archer. FURST PISTOLS WITH A STUN SETTINH HELL YEAH!

Alright alright, T’Pol is growing on me, awww Archer is soft! “U okay?” I can vibe with that! Hell yeah! I kinda wish I knew Klingon so I knew what this dude wa saying (but I’ve already got my hands full with Vulkansu). Archer why in the fuck are you wandering around?! Do you want to get caught/not found!??! Stay put dummy! Aaaand there’s the BBEG, oh, and he’s Suliban! Oh good thing that laser pistol is set to stun (oh and he dodged). Oooh scary transporter lmao.

Uh oh, was it al for nothing are these dudes gonna kill him anyway? Oh, no! Good so they just cussed Archer out lmfao. Thus the saga begins! Abandon yo grudges and pride Archer my dude, vouch for T’Pol hell yeah! Alright! I hope these two become friends hell yeah hell yeah! Time to boldly go say hi and introduce yourself to all these new aliens! Heck yeah!!

God I’m sure there were plenty of annoying ass Trekkies who were like “iT’s nOt rEaL sTaR tReK” like, how?? Because the costumes look different and they’re exploring a new time period and themes?? 🙄🙄🙄 gimme a BREAK with that shit, honestly. So far it’s been pretty interesting! Every Star Trek is Star Trek!

[bmpmp3]

in the past couple years i keep getting hopelessly obsessed with various pieces of media that exactly 11 people care about and its very interesting because it’s really made me appreciate physical and/or offline media even more than i already did

this is kinda specific but for the better part of like 2015-2019 i had like this weird problem where I was the only person I knew of with a copy of the 1992 ottawa ballet company tv movie The Tin Soldier narrated by Sally Struthers (essentially the pilot for the canadian childrens show The Toy Castle) and while it took me a while to actually digitize it (it’s a vhs copy but luckily my local library has vhs conversion stuff) it was...very strange, the feeling of like “come on there has to be SOMEWHERE on the internet where you can watch this got damn tv movie my shitty vhs copy CANT be the only hope” and luckily i wasn’t the only hope ‘cause sometime in 2019 someone uploaded their own copy to youtube, and like, okay both of our copies are bad quality but in different ways sjkdladskjalajdfd the copy on youtube seems like it might be from a dvd but it has a lot of weird artifacts and framerate jumping, and mine is a 50 minute movie on a cheap EP tape and BOY does it look it hjkfdshjds it also has some overscan problems. so if you want to watch the tin soldier 1992 narrated by sally struthers you can choose from one kinda funky copy on youtube or i guess you can ask for my Very Funky vhs rip if you want orz but i’m glad i have it, its honestly one of my prized posessions (even if i did buy it for 7 dollars years ago)

about two years ago i got incredibly obsessed with the song Anata wa Umi no Soko by Mikoto Momono, the theme song for the ps1 game Moonlight Syndrome (its a good song) BUT the problem was at the time the only place you could really listen to it was youtube (and maybe apple music? i dont count that because 1) I dunno if it would be available in my region and 2) if you ever ask me to make an apple account again im going to replace your legs) and like, a shortened version ripped from the game, but like I WANTED to hear a higher quality version!!! so i spent forever searching for a reasonably priced copy of an ep by the artist that included it (sour milk sea) and that took a while bUT I GOT IT it was very cheap but spotless, i guess it was under 15 dollars because it didn’t have an obi anymore (if it ever had one). anyway its interesting cause now i have a really fucked up cd collection: sour milk sea by mikoto momono and some taylor swift album a friend gave to me because he had bought a couple copies (for the polaroids) from target when it existed in canada dsadjghfdsasdfddsa OH and i also ended up with a used copy of the launch edition of etrian odyssey 5 so now i have that lil sound selection cd too lol

actually speaking of fucked up media collections my home video collection is pretty fucked too like it consists of the aforementioned tin soldier vhs, a dvd of the first tinkerbell movie i got for my birthday when i was like 10 (it has a really nice and glittery dust cover thing), that one bargain bin type straight to dvd movie A Fairy Tale Christmas (a friend bought it for me as a goof, I should see if she wants to watch it with me sometime), and the other day I listened to an english fan translation of the famicom sound novel Otogirisou and then I got lost in the sauce (did you know there was a 2016 game that was both a sequel to otogirisou while also being a tie in crossover game to danganronpa...for some reason thats blowing my mind) and i found out there was a movie based off it and even though it seems to have pretty polarizing critical reception i STILL wanna see it so bad BUT i couldnt find it anywhere online!!! what the hell!!!! it was even released in north america with english subtitles and a dub??? a fucking dub???? i always forget dubbing live action movies was a pretty big thing before the 10s, its probably not necessarily Good as it is from 2004 but it is fascinating at least... ANYWAY it was so hard to find!!!!!!! not even if I yarr and maybe harr!!!!!! but luckily i was able to find a really cheap dvd copy so I guess add that to my fucked up home video collection jkjdsagkfdjsdfsd but im glad, struggling to find these things online at all, legally or otherwise, has really made me understand just how important it is to have physical stuff and offline stuff and backups of backups because media can be. fleeting. especially if its something thats not even technically obscure or lost or anything, just weirdly inaccessible because maybe 3 people care about it lol

[kylermalloy]

So, I'm curious, what is your favourite TO episode? If you are able to make a choice ;)

Oh, oh! This is one ‘favorites’ question I have no problem answering.

My favorite episode is and has always been the season 1 finale, “From a Cradle to a Grave.” Honestly, I think this is where the show peaked in its writing. I was on the edge of my seat the entire episode, just loving the excitement, the tension, the themes, and all the narrative threads coming together in one culminating, sweeping episode.

This episode is everything I love about the show. Murder, mayhem, and family :) But seriously! (Omg am I going to have to do a blow-by-blow of the episode? I think I might.)

In that case, the rest goes under a cut. (Spoilers for TO ahead!)

The episode begins with Hayley giving birth, induced by the witches who betrayed Klaus. It’s in the church, that unholy horror of a murder museum.

Intercut with the rose-tinted flashback of pregnant Hayley and Klaus feeling their baby kick, Hayley gives birth as her voiceover promises a safe home and family to “Zoe…or Caitlyn, or Angela.”

*irony* but it hurts.

Klaus and Hayley are, for once, united in the fight for their child. They’ve been at each others’ throats all season, and in the past neither have had trouble getting their way. But in this crucial hour neither the Original hybrid or the uncontrollable mama wolf can do anything.

Can I say: I love love LOVE that look Klaus and Hayley share after the baby is born. Hayley asks to hold her, and they share this…look. Listen, I’m not much of a klayley shipper, but their partnership is golden. They’ve reached a tentative agreement at this point that they’re both going to play a role in raising the baby they created. The trust and pride and satisfaction between them in this moment, despite the horrid circumstances, melts me.

And then Hayley dies.

Klaus screaming NOOOOOOO is all of us in this moment.

Oh! And I almost forgot—Klaus being pinned to the wall in that Christlike pose. That was NOT an accident. It helps tie in to the larger theme they’re going for, that Elijah expounds for us later. He’s not a sinless, perfect Christ figure—in fact, he’s the opposite. He’s the monster under the bed, the devil in the night. One might even go so far as to say he’s the symbol for everyone to pin their problems to. The ultimate scapegoat. Not to say he didn’t exert some effort of his own to get there—this is the price he has to pay for his sins. Crucified, figuratively, forced to watch helpless as his newborn daughter is taken from him and her mother slaughtered.

Then Elijah bursts in. (Bless Daniel Gillies’s funky lil run, it gives me joy in the bleakest of times)

And this, oh goodness, this quiet grief they share over Hayley. Klaus has held her body since he woke up, I’m guessing, this woman who carried his child, chafed against every controlling measure he tried to impose on her, whom he holds some degree of respect and fondness for.

And Elijah, dear Elijah. He pinned all his hopes (hee) to this woman, this werewolf Madonna and her child. He gave her more space in his heart than he’d given anyone, including women who’d haunted him for centuries. And now she’s dead, just like anyone who’s had the misfortune of sparking his affections.

Klaus healing Elijah—HEY REMEMBER EARLY IN THE SEASON WHEN KLAUS BIT ELIJAH AND LEFT HIM TO SUFFER?! Now, Klaus offers his blood without compunction, without hesitation. This time it’s Elijah who hesistates. You have to wonder, is he deliberating which nightmare he would prefer—the torture of wolf venom, or the torture of Hayley’s death and her baby’s disappearance?

“You were bested? My invincible brother?”

Klaus doesn’t rise to the bait like he normally would. He barely reacts. He’s broken. He wanted too much—he played king and gained the whole world, but lost his soul. And then his kingdom.

You see why I love this episode?

We move to the graveyard, where we see not only Klaus and Elijah trapped in a maze, but the witches preparing for a sacrifice. Let’s not gloss over their costume change, either—in the church, for the birth, they were all clad in black. But here, as they prepare for their worst atrocity yet, infanticide, they wear pure white, like they’re going to a christening or something. *irony*

Then comes *the speech* from Elijah, the one that mirrors the pilot so perfectly (I know them both by heart, thank you very much.) In the pilot, Elijah’s speech is rousing, patient, and encouraging. Here, he has lost his patience. Here, he tells us what we’ve been seeing throughout the entire season.

“This is the world you created, Niklaus. All your scheming, the enemies you have made every day do your miserable life—what results did you expect? That your child would be born into a happy life? That the mother would be alive, to know her daughter? That we could live and thrive as some sort of family?”

“That was your fantasy, brother, not mine—”

“No, brother! This was our hope. This was our family’s hope. And now she is gone.” (And then we realize that he’s not just mourning the baby, that family he imagined—he mourns Hayley.) “Do you understand? I let this person in. I let her in. I don’t let people in.”

And Klaus’s reaction! This Klaus, with compassion he deserves only for his closest family—this is the Klaus that melts me. This is the scene that slaps. This is how we tie a bow on a season—nay, a millennium—of brotherly tension. They’re not healed; nothing could truly heal the damage they’ve done to each other (or the damage others have wrought on them) but it’s a start.

And Hayley wakes.

Before I go on, let me mention Marcel. Ally, enemy, friend, surrogate son to Klaus (and that could be all in one episode!) He’s destined for death by hybrid venom, having led his vampires into a massacre. All his attempts to rally his people have failed. He’s lost the city, and his vampires have been slaughtered by Guerrera werewolves. He has almost nothing left.

He goes out, armed to forcibly obtain Klaus’s blood and heal his friends—but he upon finding Klaus he makes very on-brand choice. He saves the baby.

He does what the combined efforts of Klaus, Hayley, and Elijah can’t. He wins Klaus’s trust back by saving his newborn daughter. He protects the innocent instead of contributing to the feud. He murders the girl he once tried to save from the Harvest. And he gets to meet his baby sister.

It’s strategy and heart all in one. It’s very Marcel.

He reconciles with Klaus, and Klaus heals him. They are healed—to some degree.

Then Klaus gets to hold his child for the first time, and we all die.

This is what the season has been building up to. Yes, it’s been building to Klaus being toppled off his throne, yes it’s been building to the splintering of his ego, but THIS is what we’ve been promised since the beginning—before the beginning of the show, even. The Original hybrid, brought to his knees by this child. His child. Someone he loves without reservation. Someone who doesn’t fear him. Someone innocent, who carries none of the burdens of their family. Someone who inspires hope in the hopeless. Someone he would kill for, or die for. (he does both)

And I can’t, I just can’t with them. I love the way JoMo handles the baby in this episode—very gingerly, a little awkwardly. It’s probably been a long time since Klaus has handled a baby (one that he hasn’t eaten D: ) and it’s just. so. endearing.

Meanwhile, Davina has…brought Mikael the destroyer back to life? I remember reading somewhere that Josh was supposed to die in this episode, and while I wouldn’t dare wish to deprive Josh of the happiness (and subsequent heartbreak) awaiting him in s2 and beyond, I think Davina’s motivations would’ve made more sense here if she were seeking to avenge her friend’s death. But I digress. Davina resurrects Mikael. Oh dear.

I haven’t mentioned Genevieve yet! She is one of my favorite antagonists. At first, she seemed to come out of nowhere, and I suspect she might have stepped into the narrative hole that was originally filled by Sophie Deveraux, but regardless I like her conflict. A witch cheated out of life (by an Original, no less!) and coerced to murder by her coven, living and dead. An apologetic killer. Yikes.

Klaus and Elijah then discuss how to protect the baby (and I swear in the opening shot it looks like they’re holding hands—but alas, it’s just a trick of the camera angle.) and Hayley helps them determine that they need to send her away. And let me say, Phoebe Tonkin impressed me more with her acting in seasons 2-3, but she hurts me here too. Ouch.

We get a few expository scenes—Francesca spins the werewolf attack into a gang war (she’s not wrong), Marcel makes a deal, Oliver is still an arrogant brat, and Davina plans to keep Mikael as her secret weapon (you poor child).

Then we get the most painful scenes in the episode, because even though we know this tragedy is a lie, it’s still a loss. The baby did not die, but their pain over losing her is real. Elijah says as much: “grief, after all, is grief.”

Klaus and Cami share a scene, and this is one of my favorites of them. Klaus admits that he finds her…beautiful. And for that reason, she should stay away from him. Whether you read this as romantic or not, it’s still so good. This is a woman Klaus pinpointed as being useful, intelligent, insightful, and strong enough to handle his psyche. They began with a rather twisted relationship (let’s save that essay on autonomy for another day, shall we?) but by the end of the season they’ve shared some experiences and gained more sympathy and respect for each other. And Klaus, in his moment of clarity and grief, recognizes that he is fundamentally not what she needs. (Or we could say this is all part of the lie. We’ll never know.)

Also, let me give a shoutout to the music in this episode! The two songs that play toward the end, Open Hands and Shallows are stellar. Speaking of the end! Let’s get into the biggest surprise this episode has for us.

“In what world will she be safe without her father? Who can protect her better than we?”

“There is one person.”

Rebekah. The thousand-year-old beauty queen I honestly thought we’d never see again after her exit in episode 16. The Original sister, the girl who loved too easily, who broke her brother’s heart and incurred his wrath. Who left to live her own life, who only could leave after her favorite brother set her free. Who always wanted what she couldn’t have, a family of her own.

And here she is, smiling at Klaus even though last time they screamed themselves hoarse in a graveyard and he put an enchanted stake through her chest, inches from her heart. She loves and hates him in equal measure, but she has nothing but love for this newborn baby. It’s a peace offering and the ultimate gesture of faith. Klaus could not trust anyone else in the world with his daughter, but he will hand her over to his beloved sister. It is the PERFECT way to end the season, especially with their parting words. Rebekah wants to know the baby’s name.

“Hope. Her name is Hope.”

They’ve been planning this gimmick from day ONE, I’m telling you. Ever since the pilot, when Elijah asks, “who’s more pathetic—the man who sees hope to make his family whole again? Or the coward who only sees the world through his own fear?” And I don’t care how cliche and gimmicky it is—if I did, I wouldn’t be watching this CW show. It’s perfect. This is what the baby means. She is the hope for this broken, broken family. She’s no savior—she doesn’t have to do anything but exist. But she reminds these siblings who, after a thousand years of bloodshed and fighting, are “the definition of cursed—always and forever,” that they can be better. They don’t have to remain the shells of who they were. They can pick up the pieces and begin a new chapter.

And that’s what this episode does for me, folks. It’s honestly too much to handle. I cannot watch this episode like a normal person—I writhe and scream and laugh maniacally and recite the lines. It’s a trip.

This episode concludes the season so strongly. It’s actually a major part of why I rank season 1 as my favorite! I did an official ranking of all 5 TO seasons a while back, which was a lot of fun.

[weston-hcs]

what kind of music do you think these lads would be into?

I’ll take this as modern verse I presume cause let me tell you cause things didn’t get lit till Debussy came about (1890) and everything before that was shit - yes I personally put Mozart in his grave. Some choice songs have been added as well.

Lawrence

His playlist is a bit outdated, but he still believes that the 90s and early 00s had way better tracks. It’s just a bit off putting when you check his phone and see that he has a lot of R&B, Hip Hop and “for studying”, a lot of instrumentals that are just on a Youtube radio channel. He’s very sentimental towards the songs he grew up listening to but he’d prefer not to share his taste in music with others but expects that people will appreciate his choice regardless. If Lawrence is alone... he’ll definitely be singing along.

Bruno Mars - That’s What I Like

TLC - Scrubs 

Junyii - Memory Foam

Clayton

He’s tried to be elitist about things and says that nobody will want to listen to his songs - “they’re all in French so they’ll go over your head” or something like that. He’s been reminded that Kpop exists and it became a guilty pleasure He appreciates other artists but has a sort of old style that his parents have mostly influenced. It’s mostly sad love songs so you’d wonder if he’s actually pining for someone…

Jacques Brel - Ne Me Quitte Pas

BTS - Butterfly

Couer de Pirate - Crier tout bas

Herman

He doesn’t actively seek out new songs. All he has is suggestions other people have asserted to him so he wouldn’t actually say that he “chose” the songs. Though, this means that he has quite a few songs that nobody’s ever heard of but he’s quite familiar with - since he doesn’t usually download anything new - yet it somehow all works together. He prefers the sounds of actual bands rather than synths/computers mostly but doesn’t have any preference.

TV On The Radio - Caffeinated Consciousness

Jungle - Busy Earnin’

Fitz and the Tantrums - HandClap

Edward

He’s into the electronic and future bass scene. It’s the sort of stuff you’d hear in a club - without the club because Edward can’t even go to any. The songs are all courtesy of Cheslock’s choosing because “you’re too stiff mate, here I’ll be surprised if you can keep up with a beat”. It’s a shame that all he listens to is instrumental at this point when he could play and sing really well.

Whethan - Love Gang feat. Charli XCX

Calvin Harris - Slide feat. Frank Ocean and Migos

Edgar

Most of what he listens to is the modern stuff - the general names that are out right now. Ed Sheeran and Ariana Grande are what you’d expect to see on his playlist.That doesn’t mean he isn’t above knowing all the lyrics to songs by Kendrick Lamar and Desiigner. He listens to anything that’s trending - his spotify is popping.

Drake - Passionfruit

Camila Cabello - Havana

Migos, Nicki Minaj, Cardi B - MotorSport

Joanne

His songs are very “summery”. They’ve got funky beats, auto tune and an all around bouncy vibe. They aren’t very explicit but it’s all the songs that are popular but not overplayed. While his songs are from summers past, they’re still fire tunes that nobody can argue with. He’s most likely to be assigned as in charge of the play list because he luckily never picks a bad song.

Walk The Moon - Shut Up & Dance

DJ Khaled - I’m The One feat. Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance the Rapper & Lil Wayne 

Maroon 5 - Sugar

Gregory

He hasn’t gone out of the edgy teen music phase completely. Things with abstract lyrics are what he has mixed with songs that feel… too loud for someone like him. You may feel a tiny depressed when going through his spotify but to him it’s more relaxing to have something that’s similar to what he feels.

SZA - 20 Something

Imagine Dragons - Thunder

Amy Shark - Adore

Cheslock

He has a varied choice. Don’t put his phone on shuffle at a party because there’s a good chance you can go from Marshmello to Vaughan Williams to twenty one pilots cause music students have such a weird contrast in their playlist. It’s not like he likes all of the songs on his phone but he won’t skip songs if he has to. He’s also the kind of person to heavily analyse all the textures and structure of the piece he’s listening to.

System Of A Down - Radio/Video

Galantis - No Money

Antonin Dvorak - Symphony No.9 Op.95

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 1X01 Pilot

We’re watching supernatural let’s gooooo

(and I have no knowledge other than what I’ve absorbed through tik tok, tumblr, and being on superwholock pinterest when I was in middle school)

(also fanfic)

-FRIDGE YOUR WIVES! WE CAN’T LET THERE BE GIRLS IN THIS SHOW

-Also Garfield said only jump scares were the cause of scares, but that opening scene was genuinely suspenseful

-...was...Mary alive? while she was getting set on fire? I don’t think I’ll like that answer

-Sam has an interview and he’s the golden boy...nooooooo I know where this is going

-”What would I do without you?” “crash and burn” 

How’s that for foreshadowing Jess I’m so sorry

-Dean is so SHORT

Yes I’m well aware he’s 6′1″ but Sam is very tall, and Dean’s face makes him look young

-BuT it WasN’T thAt bAd 

Dean please get therapy

-DAMN YOU DEAN SAM WAS OUT

-LIKE I GET IT AND NOT WANTING TO DO IT ALONE AND ITS THE ONLY PERSON YOU KNOW THAT CAN EVEN P O S S I B L Y HELP BUT ALSO ISDJOFAHFOSIH

-...I might have gotten way more attached from reading fanfic than I thought

-that lady looks like ebony dark’ness dementia raven way

-IS THAT BLAIR WALDORF??

-it’s not :( 

-wait I remember something about her kids, doesn’t that make her kinda like la llorona?

-oh THERE’S the jump scare

-HA THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING HORNY

-Ok but that scene with the ghost lady was still genuinely scary? Like?? As a horror show I’m enjoying it thus far

-Dean’s taste in music? immaculate. You play that Black Sabbath u funky lil car man

-Dean you’re gonna get yourself caught, please stop being an idiot and be nice to the policemen

-Victim guy’s name is Troy SQUIRE??? HAHAHAHA

-weLl tHat’S hEalThy Dean you have no room to talk about what’s healthy u still listen to classic rock to deal with ur daddy issues

I mean mood but still

-Who’s driving your car?

*holds up keys*

-Also Dean kinda looks like baby Shawn Spencer it’s hilarious

-”no chick-flick moments” Dean why

-How are you this bad of a liar Dean you’ve been living off of credit card scams your entire life

-”we’re reporters” “Where is your wife buried?” 

listen I understand plausible deniability is a Thing but you’ve gotta be stretching that pretty thin now

-I can’t unsee Dean from Gilmore Girls whenever Sam talks, it’s breaking my brain

-The boys act like siblings, and it makes me quite happy

-OH FUCK IT’S HER 

-OH FUCK SHES IN THE BACKSEAT

-JESUS I ACTUALLY GOT SCARED WHAT THE FUCK

Alright first time a jumpscare got me, I’ll give it that

-These two make me so sad please JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER NORMALLY

-OH MY GOD JESS IS DEAD OH MY GOD

-she deserved better what the hell

Ok so uh wrap-up:

Genuinely suspenseful, and the horror actually got me scared

The plot was good for the most part and the story was interesting, if a bit predictable, although I can’t tell if it felt predictable because I know what’s going to happen

Sibling dynamic good

I like Sam, still neutral on Dean cuz I feel like I haven’t gotten enough either way for him

Characters didn’t get much of an intro past their character traits and basic relationships, but I think that’s a good way to start a series

Literally both named female characters got set on fire this episode...great

I’m excited

Current theories(influenced by fanfic)

1. What happened to Jess was orchestrated by the guy at the beginning to get Sam back into hunting and closer to his Destiny 

2. Their dad dies early in season 1

I  have no idea when he dies, I just know he does, but it has to be recent enough that the boys get their time to shine and he’s technically the “mentor role” even though he’s a terrible mentor 

3. Stanford will be mentioned the next episode 

Alright that’s it for episode one boissss

[severalbakuras]

guess who watched a little more voltron. apologies to mobile users if readmores don’t work. spoilers for episodes 5-8 of voltron. (as always please don’t send me spoilers for later on. even if i’m wrong)(oh and mild night in the woods+utena spoilers, i guess)

episode 5: they’re all such dipshit brats goddamn. hunk is #relatable but ngl keith swooping in like that felt a lil ooc unless he’s still feeling annoyed at lance from the earlier freakout about the blue lion. then he’s #relatable too i know the feeling of professional Salt.

allura’s got a great spike spiegel/space dandy sense of improvisation when it comes to piloting.

pidge is now the most #relatable bc holy shit fuck the slipperies.

oh my god hunk you just solved my stealth voltron/night in the woods au idea - v. kind and stress bakes = angus for sure. (now who is gregg i mean i know who i ship with hunk (keith and shay (and ot3, hunk has two hands)) but they’re both a little too mellow to be gregg in his up mood swings. like lance probably fits the bill best but then i have no one to be mae. keith might make a good bea? hrmmmmm.)

(i’m kinda leaning towards shiro as selmers ngl, even if she isn’t a ‘main’ character. she explicitly states that she’s seeking therapy and it’s working out for her and it’d be nice if shiro could get the same at some point. plus i think shiro would write poems like

My heart is A dankness But when I see you I feel a thankness When I feel A blueness All I need Is a youness

bc he’s a cheesy dorky guy. maybe some night he will catch that bus out to the west coast.)

(zarkon is either that asshole steve scriggins or eide because he’s not competent enough to be anyone else of consequence)

(allura is either the nice pastor or lori m. pastor bc she has to project the image of a strong leader at all times even if she’s questioning herself/her faith, lori m because she’s kinda haunted by death and i can sorta see her being the local quiet weirdo with a ton to say if you just talk to her)

(holy shit that’s a lot of words for an au for a series that hasn’t even finished yet so sorry)

so uh anyway this is the episode that launched keith/lance right? right. who the fuck builds an elevator without a service/evacuation ladder. im reporting that thing to osha and the elevator repair aliens union.

THAT’S HAGGARS VOICE. SHE’S TEACHING PIDGE ALTEAN. MY CIVIL WAR THEORY...

i mean i know they probably just recycled her va but

wow zarkon’s actually slightly competent for once. probably haggar’s doing.

that storm looks fucking badass.

aww allura ;A; then again they’ve only just started doing this tracking thing with this much intensity this season so like that can’t be the case. unless zarkon only just now realized he had allura’s dna/life essence on record (C.I.V.I.L W.A.R) and he could use them to track her down with. which i can totally believe. 

honestly the fact that the galmorans galrans. tf ulaz you’re screwing me up from the grave. even have a functioning space ship at all is probably despite zarkon, not because of.

she’s real sad she doesn’t get to kill allura. almost as if her death is to haggar as obtaining the black lion is to zarkon. hmm.

coran really embodies the nihilist millennial spirit. we’re probably gonna die anyway so why not.

episode 6: !!! i was wondering if we’d get someone like jim cummings show up. weird i thought he was more disney than dreamworks. also i love the organic/inorganic mix those are some cool aliens goddamn.

who’s this fucking loser on a hoverboard. he hasn’t even got a fraction of eyebrow guy’s charisma or charm.

it’s that dagger keith has huh. calling it now. he was way too flustered to be lying about it having something to do with him and since when does he hide like. anything. from shiro.

red lion is watching you TOTALLY GET CALLED. christ i’m nailing a lot of stuff about keith it’s making me v. positive about my civil war theory.

you self sacrificing dorks.

aww keith. i mean allura def. has a very strong point but aww.

morvok makes zarkon look intimidating and that is no mean feat.

oh yeah there’s some evangelion style pilot/robot synergy going on with how much effort hunk has to put into lifting things. like linked life energies. here’s hoping we don’t have an asuka vs the eva series moment that would be nastyyy.

honestly i was not expecting anything like allura and keith’s chat to appear in an action cartoon like it’s pure character interaction and dialogue about a legit difficult subject with two people who clearly care about and respect each other but both have justified differing opinions.

AAHH PIDGE THAT WAS THE WORST POSSIBLE BOOST

THIS IS A NIGHTMARE SCENARIO AAAAAAA

so the hub is the cushy spot for high ranking generals or something. sounds like the military police in aot.

that 360 tracking shot on lance was siiiiiick.

ugh you are not funny enough for those sound effects commander.

THIS IS YOUR MOMENT CORAN

red lion i love you

OH SHIT NEW HUNK POWER

this dude is suffering the same ‘destroy the lions!!’ thing as a lot of the galrans seem to have. like. don’t you lot want voltron? doesn’t zarkon want the black lion? dissolving them in acid is literally the worst possible way to fulfilling those orders.

lance have you been thinking about if keith and allura hooked up the whole time? can’t tell if salty or thirsty.

someone please throw that commander dude overboard. i feel infinitely worse for all the galran mooks now.

don’t tease me show don’t give me a blast that big

tell me that wasn’t his escape pod. ughghhghghghghhghghghhgh

more lol hunk food jokes. ughhhghg.

‘tracking through the black lion’ can’t fool me with that red herring m8. if he had that connection with the black lion he could’ve found shiro on that scavenger’s planet before keith could. 

episode 7: space spirates is the coolest fucking concept give me space piratES GIVE ME. SPAC. E PIRAT. ES

coren don’t be space racist towards oonaloos.

sparkly allura YES ALLURA GETS TO CHILL TODAY YESSS.

shame about shiro tho black lion’s like nah bitch we’re having a bonding exercise.

the space mall is the space dandy-est thing i’ve seen in this show. i want a crossover i want them to witness Viva All

it would be the dumbest shit

oh god they’re dressed like rpg characters which makes me think of a skyrim au which makes me think of my yugioh skyrim au which makes me wonder if i can combine the two. 

coran’s sasuke shirt is Uncomfortable.

i love this galran mall dude. varkon mall cop.

the civil war theory isn’t dead the lions could’ve been built afterwards or just not activated prior to reaching ‘home’. or black lion believes in home being where the heart is and not your place of birth.

more food jokes for hunk hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

they nailed the informercial salesguy voice on this guy.

keith would be naive enough to give a shady sales dude a treasure knife huh.

ok keith winning a knife fight like that DOES give me gregg vibes. a little. i guess we’ve never seen keith in a manic ‘up’ phase, just a progressively worse or better ‘down’ phase.

OH FUCK HE REALLY IS VARKON MALL COP. THE MEMES HAVE ASCENDED.

civil war theory... isn’t dead... hhh

ok ok ok so like maybe a mutation caused by direct contact with quintessence wasn’t controversial for a while. like you’re manipulating the planet’s essence of course you’ll look a little funky as a result and there’s not much difference between harvesting a little life essence and harvesting a crop.

the split comes from zarkon wanting to use the black lion/voltron and quintessence for war while king allura’s dad does not. zarkon takes his loyal team and superjacks them with quintessence essentially reshaping their bodies entirely, along with any alteans who are like ��yeah no maybe war is what we need’. and this mutation is passed down genetically creating the galran race as we know it. and there’s probably some cloning going on too idk this is a semi-sci-fi show there’s gonna be clones at some point.

ok?

ok.

pidge. u nerd.

more of the oonaloo girl pls i love her.

ok i can get behind master chef hunk jokes

god everyone else is having a nice time and as usual shiro is trapped in a nightmare and also as usual he’s probably not going to breath one word about it to his crew (late edit: I WAS RIGHT).

galran cook man is cool with me can he join the crew.

i swear to god the black lion and shiro and zarkon confrontation is basically the same as the plot of utena???? shiro is utena. zarkon is akio. black lion is anthy.

otoh that doesn’t bode well for shiro so uh.

moving on

pidge and lance don’t get to hang out enough.

he take sthe cow. lance. laaaaance

this episode is ridiculous i love it. so space dandy.

varkon i love you.

allura your hair is so cute.

pidge and lance are officially NERDS

episode eight: ok so in like the first ten seconds and the first shot of the whole team and i’m getting alarm bells. keith is far away from everyone. there’s a pillar directly between him and everyone else.

keith.

keith my boy what’s gonna happen.

hhh hunk has definitely gotten a downgrade this sea-LANCE YOU RUDE LITTLE FUCK. like no offense if you like lance but i kinda. don’t. like he’s not nearly as endearing as lars from SU is even if their characters are pretty similar and i love lars.

hopefully he gets some nice moments soon bc i haven’t warmed up to him anywhere near as much as i thought i would. his best moments have been him hanging out with pidge tbh.

keith that is Incriminating anger there

HAGGAR’S VOICE AGAIN I’M TELLING YOU - wait no this definitely HAS to be recycling or else she’s covertly controlling the balmora. unless they had like a vocaloid system in altean times and didn’t realize they were using haggar’s voice and by the time they did it was too awkward to change.

shiro don’t make hints like that it makes me think you’re gonna die and I’d Rather You Did Not.

“if you’re going to be a leader you’ve got to repress the shit out of your ptsd” shiro. plz.

who decided to make the red lion look like it was hacking up a hairball to drop them off. good choice

oh shit haggar.

interesting they DON’T want the paladins around.

shiro’s face ahhhhh

so. keith might not be a galran who forgot he was a galran. i imagine the blade of malmora would keep close tabs on who has a knife and who lost them and they’d know if one of their own was lost on earth relatively recently surely.

holy shit this animation upgrade a++++++++

i mean shit considering he’s a teenage boy who’s up against assassins who’ve been fighting and training for millenia keith still does a damn good job defending himself.

otoh considering they’re assassins who’ve been fighting and training for millennia they must be wearing some major kid gloves. or they genuinely do want him to succeed, but want him to earn it first.

oh shit haggar wants a word with traitor dude this won’t end well

YAS KEITH

NO KEITH

KEITH ;A;

so keith’s dad is human, at least. oh jesus his voice cracking at ‘of course i do’

so his mother is galran, making him half-galran, which he has to have known all along bc otherwise the suit wouldn’t project it right? i am distressed that this actually

increases

the chances of haggar being his mother. agghg. AGHGHGHHGHG I WAS... JOKING... BEFORE................

KEITH ;___________________;

thace is going to dead-ass lie to haggar i love this guy.

RED LION GIVES NO FUCKS WOULD DEVOUR PLANETS TO SAVE HER HUMAN THIS MAY OR MAY NOT BE A BAD THING

Moral Choice Knife says to stay in drugs and don’t do school. i bet Moral Choice Knife would be friends with my shadow priest’s baeblade.

yknow if it had a consciousness.

ah fuck allura’s not going to like this when/if she finds out. could be a season 3 plot?

there’s like 13 episodes total in this season right? seems like we’re ramping up for the final arc so i’ll stop here ♥

edit: fuck me tumblr squished everything together at the end there.

[deadcactuswalking]

HIDE IT IN MY SOCK -- THE TOP 10 BEST HIT SONGS OF 2017

Well then, 2017 was fantastic! Well, I mean, for popular music; in terms of anything else, 2017 was pretty horrible, but that’s not what we’re here to discuss. We’re here to discuss...

THE TOP TEN BEST HIT SONGS OF 2017

Yeah, it’s finally here – I wanted to really finalise my list before it was released so I kind of missed List Season entirely, but hopefully those extra weeks of working on these lists will be for the best. Now, throughout the last year, I’ve been more fascinated by and involved in the world of hip hop and rap music, including listening to artists such as Tyler, the Creator, BROCKHAMPTON and Anderson .Paak much more than I used to simply because the genre overall is much more easily enjoyable and accessible, even the more underground and alternative stuff. The reason for that is probably the dominance of urban music on the charts in 2017, with hip hop and R&B overthrowing rock as the most popular genre as of right now. This was expected for a while now, but it’s crazy how much hip hop and rap is more easily available now and especially insane how much hip hop and rap is on the charts now. I’m not really complaining for most of it – you’ll be seeing quite a lot of hip hop on this list – but the oversaturation of trap music, a brand of Southern hip hop, has really gotten on my nerves and honestly I’m starting to get sick of how anyone with ‘Lil’ in their name and lean in their cup can get a Top 40 hit nowadays, but that’s enough rambling and complaining! This is the best list, so let’s start things off positively and reveal the honourable mentions, because there’s a hell of a lot of them.

Honourable Mentions

These are ranked from how far they are from the list proper, furthest to closest. Let’s go!

XXXTENTACION – “Look at Me!”

I was tempted to put this on the list for the meme, but, nah, this sucks.

The Chainsmokers and Coldplay – “Something Just Like This” / Migos – “Bad and Boujee” featuring Lil Uzi Vert / French Montana – “Unforgettable” featuring Swae Lee / Cardi B – “Bodak Yellow” / The Chainsmokers – “Paris” / Justin Timberlake – “Can’t Stop the Feeling!”

I can’t decide if these songs are terrific or terrible. Other than that, I have nothing really to say about these other than I’m excited for Swaecation.

Adele – “Water under the Bridge”

I want to like this song.

DJ Khaled – “Wild Thoughts” featuring Rihanna and Bryson Tyler

I don’t want to like this song, but that groove is tight enough for me to forgive Bryson Tiller comparing sex to a cremation.

twenty one pilots – “Heathens”

I’ve yet to come to terms with the fact that I kinda like these guys.

Miley Cyrus – “Malibu”

This is the sweetest song of the year. Ew.

Zedd and Alessia Cara – “Stay”

This was on the list at some point. Guess it couldn’t stay.

Also, yes, since I don’t have much to say about these songs, a lot of these reasons will just be puns.

21 Savage – “Bank Account” / Post Malone – “Rockstar” featuring 21 Savage

21 Savage has never bored me like he bores other people.

Sweeter than a Pop-Tart

The only reason “Rockstar” isn’t on this list is because of the Pop-Tart diss. How dare you!

Travis Scott – “Goosebumps” featuring Kendrick Lamar

God, Kendrick is terrible on this.

Demi Lovato – “Sorry Not Sorry”

I ain’t got no problem, got no problem with this.

Niall Horan – “Slow Hands”

Why does everyone hate this again? This is too cute for me to dislike, even if it does compare sex to laundry.

Shawn Mendes – “There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back”

Yeah, that guitar melody holds this back.

Rae Sremmurd – “Black Beatles” featuring Gucci Mane / Migos – “I Get the Bag” featuring Gucci Mane

Happy belated birthday, Gucci Mane.

Luis Fonsi featuring Daddy Yankee and Justin Bieber – “Despacito” (remix)

This is a really fun song, but it kind of bores me towards the end.

Big Sean – “Bounce Back”

Tragic irony.

The Weeknd – “I Feel it Coming”

This is one of the few times that a song is too repetitive for my taste.

Rihanna – “Love on the Brain”

Doo-wop-wop, shooby-doo-wop.

Charlie Puth – “Attention”

The ultimate battle between good and evil: bassline vs. falsetto.

Bruno Mars – “24K Magic” / Bruno Mars – “That’s What I Like”

Sorry, Bruno, you’re not #blessed enough.

Got to blame it on Jesus

Kendrick Lamar – “HUMBLE.”

I’m just not very good at talking about Kendrick, probably because if you hear his songs you’ll immediately know why I like them.

A Boogie wit da Hoodie – “Drowning” featuring Kodak Black

This nearly topped my list until I got sick of Kodak Black’s verse.

KYLE – “iSpy” featuring Lil Yachty / D.R.A.M. - “Broccoli” featuring Lil Yachty

These are fun but Lil Yachty exists, so they’re not on the list.

Touch my gang, we gon’ turn this s**t to Columbine

I hope KYLE and D.R.A.M. won’t end up as one-hit wonders, though they probably will be.

Ed Sheeran – “Castle on the Hill”

This is the only time you will see me endorsing Ed Sheeran because this song rocks. Too bad the rest of his output is cringeworthy or boring.

Harry Styles – “Sign of the Times”

We’re at the point where the only reason these songs didn’t make the list is because there were a few songs that were better. Exhibit A.

Playboi Carti – “Magnolia”

Consider this my honorary #11.

Charlie Puth – “How Long”

If this made the year-end, it would have been on the list.

Jason Derulo – “Tip Toe” featuring French Montana / CamelPhat and Elderbrook – “Cola”

These songs didn’t cross over to the US in time to be a hit, and that upsets me because these probably would have made the top five. Hell, I’m listening to “Cola” as I’m typing this.

N.E.R.D. – “Don’t Don’t Do It!” featuring Kendrick Lamar

This is my favourite single released this year overall. Tied with...

Tyler, the Creator - “Boredom” featuring Rex Orange County and Anna of the North

Lil Uzi Vert - “The Way Life Goes” featuring Oh Wonder and Nicki Minaj

Lorde - “Perfect Places”

Now to get to the actual list of ten—well, twelve—songs that I consider to be the best that American popular music had to offer throughout the year. Let’s start with #10.

#10

I have never heard a good Fifth Harmony song in my life, mostly because of how unappealing Camila was as a singer. I personally found her voice very squeaky and at times aggravating. Sure, artists improve over time, but when she went solo, I did not expect this big of an improvement.

#10 – Camila Cabello – “Havana” featuring Young Thug

This took me by surprise when I first heard it because it is so smooth despite its blending of many popular genres, including jazz-influenced piano and Latin percussion that despite classic influences, still feels incredibly fresh, especially in today’s pop climate. What I love most about the song apart from the obvious which I’ll talk about later is actually the lyrics and the performers, especially Young Thug. Camila is the main star, obviously, with her almost sassy performance, but the lyrics she’s singing contrast that swagger completely, and are about a boy who seemingly doesn’t care about her when they initially meet, with a careless stride into the club Camila’s in and a chessy pick-up line along the way which, of course, he says to all the other girls. A Joey Tribbiani reference starts Camila’s verse, and if you mention Friends, I’m pretty sure you get on this list automatically.

I’m doin’ forever in a minute (that Summer night in June) / And poppa says he got malo in him

Camila uses the Spanish word “malo”, meaning “bad”, describing Young Thug as a typical bad boy. That pre-chorus is also one of the catchiest moments in the top ten right now.

And he got me feeling like (ooh)

Camila’s great but Young Thug, however, is a genius. You know how guest rap verses usually talk about something completely unrelated, usually just bragging about all the typical rap subjects? Well, somehow Young Thug both does exactly that and subverts it at the same time. For the first part of his verse, he gives us more detail about who this bad boy is and reveals his name, Jeffery – Young Thug’s real name. Talking from the perspective of Jeffery (or himself), he details how he just graduated from college, where he was “fresh on campus”, to brag to Camila about his perceived “coolness”, for lack of a better word. He continues to brag and talk about how he’s a bad boy, paying prostitutes like Uncle Sam – yes, that is the similie he uses – until he starts to talk about the sex that Jeffrey and Camila supposedly had, describing it with several food metaphors, even proclaiming that it’s “history in the making”, shredding his bad boy persona and revealing glimpses of hope to raise a child and settle down. He then hilariously retracts his statement, going back to Jeffery bragging, showing how Jeffery’s fear of getting too close has really left Camila’s heart in Havana.

This is history in the makin’ on me / Point blank, close range, that be / If it cost a million, that’s me

He ends his verse by begging Camila and trying to reason with her, but his persona has clouded his mind.

I was gettin’ mula, baby!

What makes this even better is that this verse both fits into the story and is a throwaway rap verse about himself. Young Thug is a genius.

Also, it has a saxophone solo, which obviously makes it God-tier in my books. Fantastic song.#

Havana, ooh, na-na

#9

Let me make this clear: not every section will be as long as #10, but I had a lot of lyrical stuff I wanted to talk about for that song, so I did my best to keep it kind of concise while I explained why I love it. Most of these songs, however, I enjoy purely based on a musical standpoint and what better way to demonstrate this other than a song about what I assume is hipster nonsense.

#9 – Portugal. The Man – “Feel it Still”

This year was full of two things: stilted trap rap and funky-as-hell grooves. This is probably the funkiest and grooviest song out of the bunch, but it’s also psychedelic and eerie, creating a beautiful contrast between the percussion that sounds fitting in a disco or energetic soul track and the creeping bass and the jumpscare-worthy horns, as well as the fantastically creepy falsetto vocals performed by this indie rock band’s frontman, John Gourley, as well as the deep and reverb-effected vocals from the other members of the band, specifically the repetition of “is it coming?” just to lead to a non-climax; the feeling is still. The dial-up phone sounds during the first verse are also pretty clever and work with the “is it coming?” theme excellently as well. It feels like it’s right behind you and you’re constantly afraid of it, but it never comes. For a song that’s actually about wanting life to be peaceful like it supposedly was in the 1960s and 1980s again, it musically represents paranoia brilliantly. This psychedelic pop tune will be in my rotation for years to come.

#8

Yeah, I don’t have much to talk about for this one so I suppose we’ll just jump right into it.

#8 – Khalid – “Young, Dumb & Broke”

Khalid as a vocalist is one of the best newcomers to the pop world, and for someone with such a mature smooth soulful vocal, you wouldn’t expect him to have had his 20th birthday just a few days ago. Despite that, his first big single “Location” didn’t work for me, I suppose it just felt too minimalistic and slightly drab, somewhat dull in fact. His follow-up, however, is an R&B jam about reminiscing on when he was a young, dumb and broke high-school kid that just clicks with me. Maybe it’s the chill trap-hinting production, maybe it’s the catchy vocalisation in the post-chorus, maybe it’s Khalid himself, but I’m not entirely sure. This just really clicks with me on a level I didn’t really think it could, and I don’t have much reason for it either, but for an incredibly basic song like this I don’t think it’s necessary. It’s just a solid jam you should definitely check out.

#7

Who can relate? Whoo!

#7 – Post Malone – “Congratulations” featuring Quavo

That meme of a quote from Logic pretty much sums up why I like this song. It’s relatable to a degree where everyone can relate to it (whoo), because it’s just about having a small achievement in your life, and being happy that you accomplished it. It’s an anthem for people overcoming milestones in their life that mean more to them than it does to anyone else. Post mentions being on TV, which gets you some level of fame overall and gives you recognition, but the only people that truly notice and take it to heart are you and your closest friends and family.

My mama called, “seen you on TV, son” / Said, “s**t done changed ever since I was young”

Nothing has really changed at all, but to Postman Malone and his family, it means the world. It’s also an anthem for dismissing your haters – the main obstacle for anyone to get ahead – but maybe they’re not typical or conventional “haters”.

I dreamed it all ever since I was young / They said I wouldn’t be nothing, now they always say, “Congratulations!” (yeah)

He says “they” but he doesn’t specify, leading me to believe he’s talking about the voices in his head and his self-esteem pushing him down. What leads me to this theory, though? Huncho Houdini himself, Quavo. Do you notice that in the verse and the chorus, both Post Malone and Quavo have faint repetitions of “yeah”? Those are the voices that Post is being kept down by. In Post’s verse he even mentions what the voices have to say.

I know I sound dramatic, yeah

But he’s still determined.

But I knew I had to have it, yeah

Quavo, in his verse, portrays Post’s mindset and how all over the place is thoughts are: reminiscing on graduation...

Young n***a, young n***a, graduation

Attempting to find some energy and buzz to do something...

I pick up the rock and I ball, baby

...but he can’t. He tries to get help from out of this rut but he just can’t pick up the phone.

I’m looking for someone to call, baby / But right now, I got a situation

He later drops this beautiful line, wrapping everything up in one sentence.

My life is like a ball game

But in the end, despite everything all collapsing, Post gets through the struggle and reigns on top.

If you f**k with winnin’, put your lighters to the sky

Come on, who doesn’t f**k with winning?

#6 / #5

Hey, look, two consecutive Maroon 5 songs! God, there goes my dignity.

#6 – Maroon 5 – “Cold” featuring Future

#5 – Maroon 5 – “What Lovers Do” featuring SZA

I know everyone hates these songs but too bad, they’re awesome and also polar opposites.

“Cold” is a loose, dark tropical house track where Adam’s screeching vocals stand out as not a negative but a positive, being the only possible release of his anger and confusion against the muted bass in the verse, before the explosion of the chorus, where Adam outright asks his girlfriend, “why have you been so cold?” He shouts desperately, not worried but distressed and confused, in a state of isolation almost, until he finds a friend who can relate (whoo) in the form of Future. The whole song is a spill of Adam and Future’s emotions towards this woman, and it works beautifully in the tropical instrumentation. My favourite line is from Future:

So cold; this colder

The girl’s so cold that Future is cracking up a cold one with... himself.

“What Lovers Do”, however, is a tight funky synthpop track that focuses on Adam and SZA trying to do what lovers do, trying to be close but can’t. It’s not one-sided anymore, hence the instrumentation is much less natural and more stiff, because it’s not one man screaming at a wall, it’s a couple screaming at each other. Sonically, both of these songs are very fun, free songs with “What Lovers Do” having a tight groove and “Cold” feeling sparsely empty in its instrumentation but has a driving kick to it that shows Adam’s uncertainty. If you slander these songs, you can shut right up. Maroon 5 has never failed to delight.

I don’t wanna know, know, know, know

Oh, hey, ha, hey. I’ll be seeing you on my worst list.

No more, please stop

#4

There’s three very predictable choices for the near-top of this list, and here’s probably the most predictable one.

#4 – Childish Gambino – “Redbone”

Have you ever just loved a song so much because everything works? Everything is so beautifully meshed together that it’s almost too perfect.

Well, that is not what happened here at all because I shouldn’t like this as much as I do, and nothing works about it. The bass is too overwhelming, especially in the pre-chorus, sounding very sludgy for that whole passage, also, Childish Gambino’s falsetto is grating to the point it makes me want to eat some Red Leicester, but you can never deny that melody that started the meme that created – or at least developed - the surge of popularity for this excellently-composed track. I think its imperfections are why I love it, it sounds clunky and at times drags on too much but it fits in perfect with Gambino, who is vocally all over the wall, with a weak murmur in the verse, and a powerful screech in the final chorus. Despite being out for more than a year now, this hasn’t grown on me, this has just become more and more interesting and mind-boggling that it became a hit. It’s strange but so is 2017, which leads me to the reason I have this song so high. It represents 2017 extremely well – everything is strange, new and worrying, especially with Trump in office and the current political climate.

#3

What? You think he wasn’t gonna be on the list at all?

#3 – Kendrick Lamar – “DNA.”

Kendrick talks about racial, social and political issues a lot, and honestly, I couldn’t care less about what he brings up because his flow, punchlines, bars and especially production are all killer. This applies to this song more than any other Kendrick song I’ve heard. The stuttering trap production from Mike WiLL Made It brings more power to Kendrick’s first verse where he raps repetitively about what he has in his DNA or in his blood, stuff he’s dealt with so much it’s just natural for him. It is a hyped banger for its first minute and a half or so, before it switches to Geraldo Riviera being sampled stating that he believes hip hop music has damaged African-American youth culture, until Kendrick absolutely rips him apart in the second verse as the beat switches to a more gloomy and complex beat.

My DNA not for imitation / Your DNA an abomination

In this fantastic verse, he talks about the typical lyrical subjects Geraldo Riviera thinks hip hop is only about, and sarcastically glamorises them, saying sex, money and murder are what Riviera thinks are in his DNA. These verses from different perspectives make up and incredibly pumped-up track that is just excellent in every which way. Love it.

#2

And now for our only tie, both songs by two artists who have a hit-and-miss track record and one artist I absolutely love. Drank.

#2 – Jason Derulo – “Swalla” featuring Ty Dolla $ign and Nicki Minaj / Calvin Harris – “Slide” featuring Frank Ocean and Migos (Offset and Quavo)

Both of these songs are here not because of any deep lyrical meaning or any beautiful mesh of instrumentation or its elements, they’re here because of peer enjoyment. They also both have some of my personal favourite elements of music overall, just stuff that tickles my fancy more than anything objectively great. The simple melody of the synth in “Slide”, as well as the brilliant synth-solo in “Swalla” in the post-chorus, which I have grown to absolutely love and herald as the best moment in pop music this year, maybe tied with the start of Offset’s verse in “Slide”.

(Offset!) Good gracious! / Staring at my diamonds while I’m hopping out the spaceship

Everyone’s favourite homophobic hip hop duo, Offset and Quavo, provide verses on “Slide”, with Quavo’s being more of a transition and bridge from the moody slow drone of Frank Ocean’s lead vocal to Offset’s energetic verse, which proves him as more than a trap rapper, who can star on a disco song and steal the limelight from one of the best R&B singers of the past few years. They also provide great quotables.

Mama too hot like a (like a what?) / Mama too hot like a furnace (furnace)

B****es be dippin’, dancin’ with n***as like a nacho

Like a nacho? Huh?

The song itself is about someone who just wants to enter a richer man’s life, but also about a Picasso painting.

I might empty my bank account / And buy that boy with a pipe

I don’t know, and I don’t care because this song rules, as does “Swalla”, with Jason’s vocals fleeting over the upbeat instrumental, right before the excellent drum fill, which is more of a breakdown than anything, but not just a drum breakdown – a breakdown in sanity and a crazy moment in this party that doesn’t feel full until this insane drum fill, which fits perfectly with Ty Dolla $ign’s verse, but the true star here is Nicki.

Bad girl, no swalla nuttin’, word to young Dalai Lama

Her verse is fire, nothing else to say, truly one of the best verses she’s ever written.

Bless her heart, she throwing shots, but every line sucks

Let’s be fair, Remy Ma, you got bodied on not one but two hit singles. You’ve lost. Overall, two flabbergastingly great tracks.

But they’re still not the best hit songs of 2017.

#1

I may be breaking rules here but nonetheless, I believe this was the best hit song of 2017.

#1 – Lorde – “Green Light”

Nah, just kidding, it’s the joke song about the girl with the thicc booty.

#1 – Aminé –“Caroline”

The reason I do Reviewing the Charts and the reason I’m making this list is partially to analyse, review, talk about and share my opinion on pop music and culture, but what I really attempt to do is make you laugh, make you entertained, because that’s what we all want, right? At our very core, we want entertainment, and I don’t think any song this year is more entertaining than this.

Bad thing (s**t), fine as hell (whoa), thick as f**k

Over the beat that blends trap and old-school hip-hop synths pretty greatly, Aminé throws some lighthearted shade as he comically condemns one of rap’s longest-surviving lyrical mainstay, loving a woman only for her appearance, as he over exaggerates how careless he is for this woman to hilarious proportions.

Caroline, listen up / Don’t wanna hear about your horoscope / Or what the future holds / Just shut up and shut up and let’s get gory

There are some incredible quotables here as well, like this...

Holy s**t, I’m really lit

...and my personal favourite lyric of the year.

You say I’m a tall thug, guess I’m a G-raffe

That is the corniest yet also most outstanding pun I’ve ever heard a rapper spit.

If you want safe sex, baby, use the knee pads

Aminé manipulates his voice in some of the most interesting ways a pop-rapper has, and sounds great, especially when he’s singing on the chorus and then immediately goes to rapping about the girl again, like going from Ray Charles to Ying Yang Twins, or Ne-Yo to Ray William Johnson.

The reason this is on the list isn’t just because it’s funny, no, it’s because of his performance on the Tonight Show.

9/11, a day that we’re never forgetting / 11/9, a day that we’re never regretting / If my president is Trump, then it’s relevant enough / To talk ‘bout it on TV and not give a (f**k) / I’m black, and I’m proud / My skin is brown, and I’m loud

The outro of his performance is one of the best uses of someone’s platform to speak out against Trump I’ve ever seen. Nobody expects the one-hit wonder who eats a bunch of bananas in his music video to be talking about this, and to use his fifteen minutes to spread the word to millions of people on The Tonight Show is a very smart decision to use your fame. Make a difference before you fizzle out, or you’ll burn away without changing anyone’s life, without affecting anyone, which is the whole point of entertainment and art, to make a change in someone’s life who enjoys the music, or the films, or the art. It’s better that Aminé leaves his career as a one-hit wonder because I cannot imagine any better way to leave than this. Aminé, you’re divine, and your song is mighty fine. I’m out!

You can never make America great again / All you ever did was make this country hate again.