#way autistic people 'mask' is interesting ::-)
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IDK who needs to hear this, but Egon and Ray aren't the only autistic og ghostbusters
Peter is too
Your telling me this man with two PhDs related to psychology, who always has the exact right thing to say to manipulate a situation to his favour (when it's a planned/known situation), but cocks up massively when it's an unknown situation, who has a massive reaction to getting slimed (more so than the others), who would rather joke all the time than take a situation seriously because wtf should he say
you're telling me this man is neurotypical?
nah
Winston's the only NT in this group (idk how he deals with these weirdos (affectionate))
#rambles#ghostbusters#the real ghostbusters#to be specific i guess#peter venkman#egon spengler#ray stantz#winston zeddemore#i've encountered a few autistic people like peter#it's mainly the focus on business and the intense interest in studying people and behaviour and the mind#but he gets so irritated and angry when he gets slimed#the same way i feel when oil or glue gets stuck on my skin#“but he's so good at social situations-” but that's just it!#he is!#because he studies people - studies their reactions - their interactions#a business chat always goes the same way so he can plan what to say to get the best thing out of it#when he flirts with women it seems to be the same way each time - like he's planned it - because he thinks it'll get a reaction he wants#and i dare say that Peter masks a lot more than Ray and Egon. i mean he was a probably more of a cool slacker type at uni and got on well#with more popular students (sorority house students? idk im not american) and yknow it was the 70s! couldnt exactly be fully himself#idk where im going with this - ive lost my train of thought#but yeah#peter is autistic as well and i'll die on this hill
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realising that gortash’s uhhh. mind control (i guess that’s the right word?) over aeryn would’ve made his wisdom stat decline, not his intelligence… right? like being psychologically malleable and easily subdued is a sign of low wisdom, not low intelligence, right?
(can you tell bg3 is my first dnd media and my lowest stat irl is intelligence?)
which sucks a little bit. a lot actually. because wisdom is also generally the stat that makes you emotionally intelligent, intuitive, insightful, good at reading people, etc, which aeryn is. so. i don’t really know what to do with that.
#also aeryn being autistic but having high charisma/being good at reading people/being generally duplicitous#is very funny to me. masking is his special interest fr#back to stats aeryn and gortash having the same levels in wisdom and charisma but using them in vastly different ways is important to me#especially since aeryn learned almost all of what he knows about reading people/using people from gortash.#hearing your abusers words come out of your own mouth….. crunchy crunchy#anyway if anyone has any comments or advise on how to handle this or if you think i should just ignore it and keep having fun lemme know#your daily dose of idiocy#oc aeryn#aeryn and gortash#<- i guess? it’s implied.
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everyday i find that an autistic trait i didn't relate to because i do the opposite, is actually also an autistic trait
#was anyone going to tell me about blank masking?! dkjfgfg#all those questions that are like ''in conversations do you monologue about your interests and won't let the other person get a word in?#even though sometimes they are not interested in what you are saying?''#and i'm always like nah because i simply won't talk. i don't monologue BECAUSE the other person won't be interested#i will sit there and listen to someone talk about whatever the fuck they want to talk while i make an effort to seem interested#but i will not say a word myself#and if they ask me questions i will answer in the shortest most concise way possible as to not seem annoying or waste their time#and you're now telling me that's also an autistic trait?!#that's masking?!#are you fucking kidding me!?!?!? dkfjghkfdg#this is the same thing as when i found out thinking everyone hates me is also a form of not being able to read people's reactions#lol#fuck!#angel talks#personal
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every time i so much as think about that scene where light looks at porn magazines while scowling i go into hysterics its genuinely the funniest thing i've ever seen
#the funniest thing is is that i truly believe he thought he was being 100% convincing. that that's normal behavior for a completely straight#completely allosexual man#light is fucking awful and i hate him but also there's nuance to him. and sometimes i can get a little like. oh thinking about his life#before the series. specifically factoring in my headcanons about him being gay aroace and autistic and stuff. ppl have written some rlly#good fics surrounding those topics.... but yeah thats not even canon stuff but i dont care#anyways its not in a way of making excuses for how he is i just think it adds more to his character#hes total garbage but i think theres really interesting stuff with him when it comes to how he's.... VERY disconnected from others#just in general. he's like aware of how to act ''normal'' on like the most textbook surface level without being like. Aware enough to#be able to make it more convincing. and as ridiculous as it is i do see some of myself in him in that sense#also that person who said light and L is just autistic guy who's been masking his entire life vs autistic guy who's never masked in his#entire life. LITERALLY EXACTLY. genuinely perfect way to describe them they are both so similar when it comes to this#but the ways they go about it are very different. light has been playing the part of the perfect son his whole life. L doesnt try to change#himself for anyone and doesnt care when people think hes weird. both of them arent very socially aware and havent had any real friends#their whole lives. its such a fascinating parallel between them#i could go on a whole fucking thing about how light was pretending to be someone he's not around his family and at school and everything#long before he got the death note BUT. i wont. at least not right now#jesus christ how did i go from laughing about him with the magazine to this. my bad#derailed my own damn post. idk swagever#will say rq tho. watched a vid on youtube that pointed out how light expected his family to think nothing of the fact that he's gone to#such drastic measures to hide his diary when making the plan with hiding the death note which is like#that level of dedication would NOT be normal. so the fact that light expects his family to think nothing of it......#i mean you could read that as light just once again being socially unaware. but it could also imply that light's family kind of Knows#he's hiding something and just doesn't address it. (he's gay. im talking about him being gay)#the video also referenced this comic that i didnt rb cause the actual premise of it (lawlight wedding) is um.#not at all my kind of thing. BUT it was light describing himself as a house with a basement when his family sees him as a one story house#and i thought that was such a cool analogy#ANYWAYYYSSSS i need to go to bed. thanks if you read my ramblings#serena.txt#death note posting
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Oh she DOES like me like that
#we've been texting tonight#she said the reason she had to leave after i told her if shes ever feeling brave that she has my number is because#she wanted to blurt out that she's already interested but she stopped herself because she didnt want to come off the wrong way#and she said that she's genuinely interested in me and getting to know me more and that she loves learning more about me#holy fuck#im serious im treading so so carefully & gently with her because its obvious that this is new for her & i dont want to hurt her in any way#also yeah im like...80% sure shes also autistic because we were talking about food ealier#& talking about about our icks when it comes to certain foods/textures & how its so easy to lose our appetite in the middle of a meal lmao#its so comfortable talking to her. like even our first real conversation when we worked together a few weeks ago was easy#i dont feel the need to mask parts of myself like i do with other people. its weird. im never usually this open with people#even people i like its usually hard for me to open up for fear of what they’ll think but i dont feel much of that with her#life is so weird#heyitslapis rambles#delete later#alice
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Extra love today to Autistic people who:
Can't drive
Struggle with shopping
Struggle with cleaning
Need help with simple tasks sometimes (or frequently)
Cannot follow directions that are simple for others
Noticeably lack motor skills
Have interests or hobbies associated with children
Stim in noticeably out of the ordinary ways and can't mask it
Have learning disabilities.
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your honour it is the inherent autism of robots
#when u have to learn to mimic social human behaviours to appear normal or nice..#i get nervous talking abt this in case ppl find it offensive since i am not diagnosed autistic..#but... i luv robots and i think their connections with autism and the way they learn to mimic human behaviour like the#way autistic people 'mask' is interesting ::-)#original nonsense#personal#also i love anthropomorphising things i like to say thank you to the paper towel dispenser at work and i say youre welcome#to the checkout machines at the store. yeehaw!#when ppl anthropomorphise machines its a bit different.. bc theres already a lot of cultural fear and distrust of robots...#but machines do not think like humans and theyre not sentient..... so the fear is kind of illogical...#just kind of in general.#i also agree with what someone else said in this wikipedia page that its honestly just convenient to use human language to talk abt machine#how else is there to talk about them sometimes...!!!!!!#image described
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Probably gonna get hate for this, but the "broader autism phenotype" just sounds like...
... The DSM IV. With a little aspie supremacy thrown in for funsies. Specifically PDD and PDD-NOS.
#autism#broader autism phenotype#it all sounds a bit too hand-wavey to me#and just feels like a way to brush off people genuinely struggling#but who mask well enough to fake it#guess who would get a “diagnosis” of bap despite struggling since childhood#but my family refusing to acknowledge autism exists?#the only autistic trait i dont have is the special interests#and thats not even required for a diagnosis
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Laios: Diagnosed with autism when he was five but his parents never told him because they didn't want him to "use it as an excuse". So, he knows he's weird, but has no clue why.
Falin: Never diagnosed, but the family just knew because they already raised Laios. They used what they learned from raising Laios to help raise her, so although she also was never told she was autistic, she has a better grasp on what her needs are and how to get them met.
Marcille: Special interests and delayed social development made her a pleasure to have in class and a straight A student who was only friends with the teachers.
Senshi: "Back in my day, we didn't have all this Autism stuff" but he comes from a long line of autists so believes Special Intrests and all his other peculiarities are perfectly normal. Doesn't even believe autism exists because "everyone had those symptoms!"
Chilchuck: Had to learn how to mask really early on, and how to ask for accommodations in ways that neurotypical people will actually listen to. He does in fact fully know he's autistic, but only because at least one of his daughters inherited it, and she got diagnosed. He raised his girls right, and is using a lot of those techniques to keep the rest of the party in check.
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#laios touden#falin touden#marcille donato#senshi#senshi of izganda#chilchuk tims
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my masks
hey there buckaroos. due to all of the attention the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION situation has gotten i am going to take a minute to talk about my personal way as an autistic buckaroo. im going to tell you about my masks.
im doing this for a few reasons, some are good FUN reasons full of love and some are not so great.
lets start with the GOOD STUFF. first of all, i am talking about this because speaking on my way can help other buckaroo feel more comfortable speaking on there own way, ESPECIALLY if they are good at ‘passing’ for neurotypical like chuck is.
unfortunately the NOT SO GREAT reasons im talking about all this dang stuff are two fold. reason one: i have been put into a position of having to explain and justify my needs and boundaries by the TXLA. this is not something that i WANT to be taking up all of my time, but when large organizations do not make space for those who they have pledged to support, it puts us smaller buckaroos into position where were have to defend our existence. it is not plesent but it is necessary.
the second NOT SO GREAT reason is that ‘passing’ bisexual and autistic people like myself are ALWAYS just seconds from being gatekept from folks both outside and inside these communities. there will probably be a day on chucks deathbed where i take off my mask and say hello to this timeline (mostly so you can all see how handsome i am under here but I DIGRESS). i KNOW with absolute certainty (the same way other bi and autistic buckaroos are probably nodding along right now) that when that day comes i will STILL be accused of ‘not being real’ and ‘faking’ because i ‘dont look autistic’ and i have a beautiful ladybuck partner in sweet barbara.
ALL THAT IS TO SAY, i am taking a moment today to talk FOR THE RECORD about my neurodigence and my particular needs. hopefully i will not have to keep diving this deep every time an organization takes a discrimantory action against me, but i will also say this: at least it is a good fight on an important battlefield
anyway buds, here is the story of my way on the spectrum
when i was a young buckaroo i knew that my thought process was different. i could socialize easily, which is unique in contrast to many autistic buds (it is a spectrum after all), but my social ease was for an interesting reason. I ALWAYS KNEW WHAT OTHERS WERE ABOUT TO SAY. it was like a strange ‘human game’ where someone would say one thing and i would think ‘well you actually mean something else’ in a sort of logical way (this is why i later related to DATA from star trek so dang much). at first i remember thinking ‘well i am just NOT going to play along with this human game’. i quickly learned neurotypical buckaroos do not like this, that there is a BOB AND WEAVE to social interactions that must be learned.
later i realized ‘actually if i WANT to make friends and prove love is real then i can do this like an expert because i can SEE the game where most cant’. this got chuck many buds and took me on many adventures. please understand, i am not saying these connections are not important to me, they are just different. they are full of love, but i express this in my own unique way.
HOWEVER, while growing up i felt disconnected from this timeline in other ways, like an alien or a reverse twin trotting along in a world that is not quite my own. i did not feel emotions the same way my buds did. they would get upset over the ‘human game’ interactions and i would not be moved at all, HOWEVER i could see the way sunlight hit a window and start crying my dang eyes out over the beauty. so my emotion was still there and VERY STRONG, i just felt it in more existential ways (like hearing the call of the lonesome train). these days that feeling has progressed to where i am pretty much in a constant blissed out state of cosmic emotional connection (make of that last sentence what you will, but it is the truth). when i make existential posts online i am not just FIRING OFF SOME CONTENT, i really mean every word. this is really my trot.
anyway as a young buckaroo these feelings made me worry sometimes. i thought about various mental health dianosises and marked the parts and pieces that matched with myself. am i this? am i that? sometimes, instead of just being’ different’ i worried i might actually be ‘wrong’.
when i saw david byrne on letterman in my younger days i immediately recognized something connected to myself. i thought ‘wow this is the mystery being solved before my very eyes.’ i could hear it in the music of talking heads too. i started doing research and realized that i might be on autism spectrum, something that was later confirmed by a therapist (back then the diagnosis was called asperger's). it was a glorious and fulfilling moment. i was SO EXCITED TO BE AUTISTIC LIKE MY HERO. i felt very cool because of it, and i still feel very cool because of it.
one of the big reasons i talk so much about being autistic these days is because i want to make sure OTHER buckaroos can have that same moment that i did. they can see chuck and think ‘wow i really like this autistic artist, maybe being autistic is cool’
so what does an average day WITHOUT wearing the pink bag look like for me?
my thought process is exactly like ROSE from CAMP DAMASCUS, which is part of why i wrote the book. we have the same stim (complex order of finger taps), we prepare for social interactions the same way, we analyze things in the same logical trot that neurotypical people might think feels ‘detached’ but for me feels natural (certain reviews of camp damascus are very funny to me in this way. you can tell when a reader is just very confused by existing in an autistic brain for 250 pages.)
from the outside you would not be able to tell that i am on the spectrum. in fact you would probably find me very socially adept.
the problem is, all of that masking can take its toll. i spent years trotting in and out the emergency room, talking to confused doctors who could not figure out the chronic phantom tension and pain that radiated through my body. i eventually accepted the fact that i would either live a life constantly on heavy painkillers or just stop living altogether.
eventually, however, i started noticing a correlation between the way that i felt, and the space that i allowed for chuck and the pink mask. i was exercising that tension, allowing my mental mask of neurotypical existence to take a rest. i started practicing physical therapy and this time THE RESULTS STUCK because i was approaching from two sides, MIND AND BODY. after a while, i got my pain down to about 5 percent of what it once was. i still have flare ups in times of stress, but the healing has been very real and life changing.
lets get VERY specific now. if i attended the TXLA confrence without a mask and gave my talk i can tell you this: i would do a dang good job. i can work the heck out of a crowd and (not to reveal too much about my secret way) I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO DO THIS ON OCCASION VERY WELL. however, going home from this event i would very likely be in pain. i would likely need to do physical therapy. i would likely need to stim for a while. i would NOT be emotionally fullfilled in the same way. in other words, without my pink mask i can charm the heck out of buckaroos, but THE SPACE OF CHUCK TINGLE IS NOT THE SPACE FOR THAT. the pink bag is a place for me to not have to put up with that tension. it is a place for me to unmask mentally by masking physically.
this pink bag space SAVED MY LIFE and i am not going to risk blurring these lines. if and when that ever happens it will be MY decision, not someone elses. that is my boundary. the part of me that neurotypically masks could handle a library conference in a purely technical sense, but the part of me that chuck represents absolutely cannot and should not be asked to do that without the pink bag. unfortunately, the complexity of this point makes it even MORE difficult for me to think about and takes up even more of my time, because it forces me to START QUESTIONING MYSELF and my own needs. to be honest, that is the most insidious part of other people questioning your identify and refusing to accept your accommodation needs without ‘proof’.
the thing is, while all of this discussion of disability and accessibility is important, i have a much larger point to make by writing these words.
a conference should not uninvite someone with an unusual physical presentation or a strange way of speaking REGARDLESS of it being classified as a disability. it does not matter WHY i look the way that i look and wear what i wear. i should not have to spend all day writing this post instead of writing my next book, just because my sensibilities are unique and my presentation is unusual.
fortunately the solution is very simple: let other people be themselves. its not hurting you to simply accept and nod at the buckaroos you think look strange. let us exist
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One of the most fun character concepts that I've had that I've never been able to fit into anything is The Most Appropriate Socialite Lady. Nobody dislikes her, but she is, indeed, very Appropriate, always seeming to do everything precisely to social etiquette, even according to social rules that nobody else knew were a thing. If there is a protocol to how to behave or respond in any given situation, no matter how obscure or how long ago it was that this was written down in some Refined Society Etiquette Book, she'll know it. So she is a bit old-fashioned sometimes, but not in a regressive way.
Every time there's a situation where nobody actually knows what the right way to respond would be, they quietly glance at her, because either she knows exactly how to handle this, or if the situation truly is without precedent, her educated guess of what should be done must be the right one. Someone might even write it down for a future etiquette book, of how This Most Polite Well-Mannered Lady responded to this awkward situation.
She doesn't judge people, and is never rude about people breaking Good Manner Rules on purpose (as pointing out someone doing so would be impolite), but the way she seems genuinely surprised and confused whenever someone breaks the protocol that nobody else might even been aware of makes people feel self-conscious or awkward sometimes. And she politely pretends to not notice that. She is very kind, very sweet, but also extremely Appropriate.
So even if this isn't a Victorian style gentlemanly "fine ladies are fragile and must be sheltered from the world"-style society by default, people still feel the need to behave well and be on their best formal behaviour around her, not out of fear of judgement but because she genuinely is that way and nobody wants to upset her. And if someone who doesn't give a shit about protocols upsets her on purpose by deliberately doing something that's fucking rude, they'll be discreetly moved to a different location before getting the shit beat out of them because fuck you for upsetting her.
The thing is, she's actually just autistic as hell. She originally started reading up on social etiquette as a way of masking, but it became a special interest for her, and she isn't just thrilled to teach you how to properly fold a napkin to help you better fit in to the Refined Society, but because she fucking loves infodumping. She's not trying to set herself apart, gatekeep, judge others or show off how she's better than you (like many others of her background would), she just genuinely enjoys having explicitly and clearly written rules and instructions on how to behave in society.
Also the tactful and graceful way in which she doesn't pay notice to veiled insults, or people accidentally saying something insulting to her, isn't always an act. A lot of the time she genuinely just does not notice.
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I firmly believe that Kabru is autistic but masks so hard that he’s convinced himself and (almost) everyone around him that he’s neurotypical.
That man’s special interest is people and how they work, but he just thinks it’s him Being So Good At Socializing — like he doesn’t spend 95% of his time people watching and adjusting his personality in response to the traits he witnesses and obsessing over the intricacies of human interaction while mapping an ever growing relationship chart in his head. For fun. He even admits it in the manga!
Like, look at him!!!
It’s such a shame that — because he’s the narrative foil to Laios and his interest is generally considered more “socially acceptable” in both their world and our own — more people don’t realize this about him. He’s constantly misinterpreted as a horribly manipulative person who only acts the way he does to use the people around him, when that’s explicitly shown to not be the case at all. Kabru is naturally empathetic and is almost always thinking about other people, regardless of whether or not they’re right there with him or a thousand miles away.
I mean, his most defining motivation is his desire to do everything he can to avoid another tragedy like the one at Utaya. Someone who doesn’t care wouldn’t have a goal like that, and they most certainly wouldn’t go about it the way he does. He’s constantly working to help people who can help everyone else and tries so hard to make sure that anyone who seems like a threat is actually someone he needs to worry about before doing anything about it. His supposed aversion to Laios is only because of the ridiculous trolley problem he’s set up in his own head.
Outside of that, he (rather justifiably) hates monsters but is desperate to understand Laios’ love for them and his apparently most selfish goal in getting close to the guy was literally just to become friends with him.
When he’s interacting with the canaries and they imply that they’re going to take him and all of his friends to the West, his first thought is of Rin and how much she’d hate to be stuck in the place that gave her so many bad memories.
He helps Kuro learn Common when Mickbell is asleep and firmly looks forward to the day that the half-foot and Kuro can communicate properly so that their relationship can get properly started without any miscommunication.
And he understands Mithrun with only a handful of weeks AT BEST interacting with him, getting enraged when the elf seems to give up and immediately trying to help him find a new motivation for life.
I’m excited just thinking about the day that Kabru starts unmasking more and more around his friends — both new and old — because if being with my current friend group has taught me anything, it’s that hanging out with anyone so unabashedly themselves is bound to make you more comfortable with yourself too. It’s part of the reason why I like Labru so much! There’s something nice about imagining them hanging out in the throne room or laying in the grass outside and talking for hours on end about their special interests. They might not strictly understand what the other finds so fascinating about monsters or people, but they can grasp that shared feeling of love.
They probably influence each other in really good ways too, with Kabru helping Laios figure out what people are thinking even when it doesn’t make sense or Laios helping Kabru understand that not everyone and everything needs to be analyzed a thousand times over. They both get to learn that there are people like them and people who will love them without them ever having to change a thing about themselves. They deserve to know that they’re fine the way they are.
#I have so many more thoughts about these two#like how Laios is actually the one who couldn’t really care about people outside of his immediate friends and family#that his love is the one that would burn down the world if it meant the people he cared about got to be as safe and happy as they should be#always as themselves#never as the corrupted versions of them in their nightmares or by the winged lions distortions#which is how Kabru would learn to be more selfish and needy#encouraged to act on his own desires and help other people at the same time#these two have ruined me#especially Kabru#because I’m predictable and my other two favorite characters are Tachihara Michizou and Nara Shikamaru#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi kabru#kabru of utaya#dungeon meshi laios#laios touden#dungeon meshi rin#rinsha fana#dungeon meshi mickbell#mickbell#dungeon meshi kuro#kuro#dungeon meshi mithrun#mithrun#labru
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WHY DID NONE OF YOU TELL ME THERE WAS AN AUTISM MASKING EVALUATION TEST
#daphnes talking again#ive been taking autism tests again#girl the scores are like. weird today#i got a 'oh yeah definitely' and a 'you do not meet the requirements at all'#i also got. uhh. way WAY above the average in the masking test#i got above the average for AUTISTIC GIRLS#as i read every question i got more and more like 'wait shit this is exactly what i do. i feel like im pretending ALL THE TIME.'#like???????#i had no idea i was doing that??????????#and that is WAS MASKING??#i like. i thought everyone schooled their expression when they were talking to people#i am constantly checking my expression and body language to make sure i look interested and friendly
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What I love about the laios/kabru dynamic is that like. Laios is more comfortable with and obsessed with animals and monsters, monsters being his Special Interest
And it's like. One thing feeds into the other - he's alienated so he relates to and studies monsters
And this in turn triggers everyone around him to alienate and ostracize him further
MEANWHILE like. Kabru has always been ostracised because of like, his own features, his light eyes contrasted with his skin, and his early exposure to the monsters of the dungeon nearby
For him BECAUSE of like, not his fear of monsters, but because of the political situation around how everyone there was killed, HIS focus and obsession and his own autistic Special Interest has become other people. Their thoughts, their machinations, the ways they lie and obscure
And because of people's obfuscations, as soon as he meets laios his obsession becomes laser-focused on laios himself, because this is a man with almost no machinations. He's been so focused on animals and now monsters his whole life, and SO autistic without learning to mask
Whereas kabru like. ALL he has is a mask. Esp BC of the implication of racism that he's experienced within the text like, even his face has been treated physically as more like a mask than a human face, and then its just lies on masking on obfuscation on repression
Whereas laios feels every single emotion immediately and painfully, and he expresses almost all of them openly - his love, his enthusiasm, his curiosity, his frustration, and to a limited extent, his rage and anger
Here you have laios, treated like a monster so he's become obsessed with monsters, to the extent that he almost fears people more despite craving to be with them, to be seen by them and loved by them, and to an extent being blind to the extent of their cruelties
And here you have Kabru, not treated like a monster, but treated effectively as less IMPORTANT than a monster, because of other people's politics and motivations, to the extent that he has become obsessed with appearing like The Right Person to every single person he meets
It's no wonder that Kabru should become so utterly obsessed with Laios, with studying him - and no surprise either that Laios should enthuse about this undivided and devoted attention that feels equivalent in EFFORT to love and friendship... And isn't that enough?
And at first, no, but I think. So rapidly it would and could become so. Because laios' loyalty is so fierce and devoted, and I think Kabru would be blindsided by how EAGER laios is to please him even though kabru remains, in his own eyes, distant and a bit apart from him
And kabru for like. Studying laios so fervently and focusedly, as intense and off-putting as that may be, he comes to and will come further to understand laios better and more intuitively than anyone else, and no one in the world but falin has ever BOTHERED to do that
And isn't that love? Kabru might not call it that, might be disdainful at the very idea, but if it walks like love and talks like love and feels like love and takes even more effort than love... That's enough, right? That's good, right? Laios is grateful
And the more grateful he is, the more frustrated Kabru will get. Doesn't he respect himself? Doesn't he want more? Doesn't he care enough to DEMAND more?But laios doesn't like to make demands - he likes to be grateful for what he's given. For kabru.
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Okay so hear me out...
Both the Touden siblings are autistic. That's not too controversial a take. Senshi is also autistic, also not too hot a take. Kabru is autistic and very good at masking in social situations, and Izutsumi may have some issues (difficulties with interpersonal relationships, distorted sence of self, intense emotional responses, eating disorders, risky behaviours) or she could just be a cat and a teenager. My interest here is Marcille... I think Marcille might have ADHD, and it's not just her fussy eating and persistent absent mindedness, it's that combined with her balance.
Tests on wii balance boards, of all things, showed that people with ADHD have consistently worse balance than a control group, and that children with ADHD have significantly more mild accidents due to poor coordination. You even see this in some adults with the "ADHD walk" where they instinctively sway or lean around objects in an exaggerated way as they have internalised a fear of hitting them as they walk... and tallman Chilchuck complains during the Changling arch that Marcille is still clumsy as a half-foot, to a degree that suprises Chilchuck. Add that to some difficulty making decisions despite being very academicly gifted and her occasional executive function failures, and I think ADHD isn't an unreasonable leap.
Interestingly Chilchuck's anxiety was cured when he became a tall man, suggesting that this is an inherent trait of half-foots and not a condition unique to him, so he might be neurotypical for a half-foot, and half foots might just be naturally more risk adverce and neurotic than the other races. He's litteraly the token neurotypical friend in the group, which might explain his long-suffering attitude towards the others.
Or I'm so desperate for good ADHD representation that I'm projecting.
Edit: Following education I have removed references to BPS as it's not my area of experience and Izutsumi does not match the diagnosis criteria.
#dungeon meshi#falin touden#laios touden#marcille donato#senshi of izganda#izutsumi#chilchuck tims#kabru of utaya#autism#Adhd#borderline personality disorder#Neurodivergant
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if youd like, would you talk about why you read kabru as autistic? i see some overlap for him with his masking and obsession with studying people, but nothing stands out to me that doesnt feel better explained by his cptsd. im autistic myself but i feel like im missing something other ppl are getting from him and id like to understand that perspective more
ive already answered this before but it’s more of an intuition thing. if you have extroverted, very social autistic friends, he may remind you of some of them. but heres text from the manga that stood out to me
he had a hobby of observing adventurers that came to the tavern his mother worked at way before the incident happened. so his fixation on humans and anatomy isn’t caused by his trauma, rather it was something he was always interested in
any then after the incident, he was mostly asking milsiril about cultures, languages, anatomy, etc.
it’s even possible that he knows kuro’s language, even though utayans consider kobolds aggressive and unapproachable, because he was genuinely interested in learning it as a kid
he’s a foil to laios, is it’s really easy to infer that his interest in humanity is as unusual as laios’s interest in monsters. he’s self aware, but sometimes his self awareness doesn’t account for the fact his friends don’t see his behavior as normal
but anyway yeah outside of his special interest, it’s mostly intuition. it’s hard to explain… there’s some stuff that are ultra small details, like his favorite food being plain tomatoes. in modern AUs he’s mostly seen wearing t-shirts and comfortable coats like laios, whereas other characters have a diverse wardrobe
it’s kind of like… he knows what traits come off as autistic, so he tries way too hard to avoid them so he doesn’t seem autistic? does that make sense.
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