honeybadger-who-gives-a-shit

[honeybadger-who-gives-a-shit]

fanfic titles are like “we have not touched the stars (nor are we forgiven)” and then you look at the tags & the first one is “anal fisting”

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Ronald D Moore wanted in universe Voyager casual Fridays. I think I vaguely recall an episode of The Office where they tried to do that and had to cancel it because everyone started fighting about each other's taste in fashion. The Voyager crew would absolutely do that

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Reasons why computer problems seem to mysteriously vanish as soon as a technician shows up:

You were spacing out and skipping a step somewhere without realising it, and you can’t reproduce it when you try to demonstrate it because now you’re paying attention to what you’re doing

It’s an intermittent electrical connection fault that’s being aggravated by movement/vibrations in your desk; you need to check your cables

The act of explaining the problem to someone caused you to figure out what you were doing wrong

The real cause of the problem was somewhere upstream of your terminal device – for example, at the network service provider – and it got fixed at the source while you were waiting

Your computer is in a location with poor airflow and is overheating; waiting for the technician to arrive gave it a chance to cool off

Despite all appearances to the contrary, modern computers actually have very good fault recovery, and most minor problems will sort themselves out on their own if you give it a minute

Magic

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nvm i managed

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You died! Choose your next reincarnation.

Remember, amount of karma farmed during lifetime will vary depending on chosen form.

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I wish one of these days that there would be a documentary-style Star Trek show about the characters/Starfleet/events we’ve seen or heard about – as if we were the in-universe audience. Like can we have some funnnnnn

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Martok, Hades game style

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Since Tawny Newsome is on the writing staff for the new Starfleet Academy show, there is no excuse for them to not do an episode where Beckett Mariner gets flung into the future and shenanigans ensue.

"Wait, you knew Bradward Boimler? As in 'Inventor of the Boimler Effect' Bradward Boimler?"

"People actually remembered that?!"

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There’s a certain point on Voyager where everyone is just used to being bored. They’re just bored, most of the time. Most people pick up a hobby or two or nine, romantic escapades get complicated and messy, drama and gossip run amok, but that’s not what everyone wants. Not even what most people want. Most people just want some basic entertainment, something stimulating and interesting.

Eventually, while doing research into the ship’s database, Neelix comes upon his saving grace. Something that’s generally considered fun. An old Earth game, one that was often done over a breakfast meal, or sometimes even turned into a competition on how quickly you get could it done.

Neelix starts adding crosswords to his broadcasts.

It explodes. He’s just pulling old puzzles from whatever he could find, but people love it. They give a lot of folks a sense of home, and especially because he can access some Federation ones, they have alien answers in there too. It gives everyone something to do, and soon enough, he’s having physical PADDs out at mealtimes with the daily crossword.

Tom ends up setting up a ranking system. People can submit their times and scores and keep track of who dominates at the crosswords. It’s all voluntary, the names aren’t auto submitted, but it’s fun. People are entertained. Janeway allows the friendly competition and smiles into her coffee every morning as she does her own.

As he does more research, though, Neelix realizes crosswords tended to have cultural relevance, and often went up in difficulty as the week went on. Monday through Sunday, each day would get progressively harder. He tried to make some himself, of course, but puzzle making was hard, and he just didn’t have the structural ability for it.

Only natural for him to approach the one man he knows to be good at puzzles. With Janeway’s help, of course.

Begrudgingly, Tuvok agrees to attempt to make crossword puzzles for the crew, as long as he is not connected to them. He doesn’t submit his own name for the scoreboard, so there’s no risk of him being found out like that, but he’d rather not be approached and asked about answers. Neelix swears a vow of secrecy, Janeway teases him some, but they promise to not tell.

The relevant crossword puzzles become slowly introduced as Tuvok gets his bearings, and eventually, they stop relying on old puzzles altogether. The crew adores them. The Sunday puzzles eventually become partial scavenger hunts, looking through that week’s reports, trying to recall what sorts of play on words that means, looking at languages not spoken on board, even having to scrounge around for old literature at times. The feedback given is what keeps the ante ramping, and it just makes everyone more excited.

It gives people something to look forward to.

Despite begging, Neelix does keep his secret. Zips his lips with a coy smile every time someone asks who made the puzzle, and that becomes gossip in it of itself. Who makes these? Is someone on board secretly a puzzle whiz? Some people even approach Neelix asking to try their hand at making the crosswords, but most of them aren’t skilled enough yet. It would be best to collaborate.

It takes time. A lot of time, actually. A ridiculous amount of time. But, eventually, with the combined force of nature that Neelix is and pressure from an old friend, Tuvok takes credit for his work.

He takes on a couple apprentices, and teaches them how to make the crosswords. Gradually, him and two or so other members on board make the daily puzzles. Tuvok still does almost every Sunday, purely for the sheer level of brain power needed, but they help. They collaborate. They work together.

When Neelix leaves the ship, they continue their crosswords. The Sunday after he left, he was a clue on the board.

Across. Six letters. “A good person; a dear friend.”

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seven could outright suggest gay sex to b’elanna and it would send b’elanna into a whole spiral of like “clearly she’s just doing this out of some bizarre ulterior motive because someone as beautiful and perfect as her would never be into someone like me. but also i’m so obviously completely straight that like why would she even think to suggest that to me like what’s her problem. i dare her to try sticking those huge luscious breasts right in my face because then she’d see how sooo totally unsexy i find them. then maybe she can try wrapping those long willowy legs around my head and see what that does to me. which is nothing at all because i’m notttt into women no matter how insanely gorgeous they are and how tantalizing their asses look when they’re crawling in front of me through the jeffries tubes”. meanwhile tom could outright suggest gay sex to harry and harry would be like “haha classic tom, always joking around!”

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Plot twist: Meryl Streep *is* method acting, Miranda Priestly was changed so deeply by Andy that this is what she's like now

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Oh, okay. I see. You think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select out, oh I don’t know, that gaslight gatekeep girlboss meme, for instance, because you’re trying to tell the world that you think modern feminism has been co-opted by corporations. But what you don’t know is that that meme is not from Instagram, it's not from Twitter, it's not from Tiktok, it’s actually from Tumblr. You’re also blithely unaware of the fact that in January 2021, Tumblr user missnumber1111 posted, "today's agenda: gaslight gatekeep and most importantly girlboss." And then I think it was a-m-e-t-h-y-s-t-r-o-s-e, wasn’t it, who reblogged it with an image of the phrase edited over a piece of "Live, Laugh, Love" wall art? And then gaslight gatekeep girlboss showed up in the feeds of eight different Twitter repost accounts. Then it filtered down through Instagram and then trickled on down into some tragic “alt side of Tiktok” where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that meme represents millions of notes and countless Tumblr users and so it’s sort of comical how you think that you’ve made a choice that exempts you from Tumblr when, in fact, you’re wearing the meme that was selected for you by the people in this room. From a pile of “stuff.”

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Wanted to write a fun smutty j/7 fic, accidentally wrote two shitty chapters about depression and masking. Oops

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it's cute of the female changeling to shift a face that looks like Odo's to make him feel welcome but at what point of the next 4 years do you think she realized ah shit, for branding purposes this is my appearance now, the solids won't understand if my appearance changes they're too stupid