#watch someone read this and not understand anything I’m saying and just see ai and be like so u think so is good?

[acuar-io]

I hope when ppl say they hate ai they mean ai art bc the term AI is starting to look bad when in reality we’ve been using AI to help us for a good while now. There are AI that helps people in their lines of work. I think we need to differentiate between those things when we’re talking specifically about ai art

[caelum-in-the-avatarverse]

Fandom can do a little gatekeeping. As a treat.

So I finally decided to archive-lock my fics on AO3 last night. I’ve been considering it since the AI scrape last year, but the tipping point was this whole lore.fm debacle, coupled with some thoughts I’ve been thinking regarding Fandom These Days in general and Fandom As A Community in particular. So I wanna explain why I waited so long, why I locked my stuff up now, and why I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a-okay with making it harder for people to see my stories.

Lurkers really are great, tho

I’m a chronic lurker, and have been since I started hanging out on the internet as a teen in the 00s. These days it’s just cuz I don’t feel a need to socialize very often, but back then it was because I was shy and knew I was socially awkward. Even if I made an account, I’d spend months lurking on message boards or forums or Livejournals, watching other people interact and getting a feel for that particular community’s culture and etiquette before I finally started interacting myself. And y’know, that approach saved me a lot of embarrassment. Over the course of my lurking on any site, there was always some other person who’d clearly joined up five minutes after learning the place existed, barged in without a care for their behavior, and committed so many social faux pas that all the other users were immediately annoyed with them at best. I learned a lot observing those incidents. Lurk More is Rule 33 of the internet for very good reason.

Lurking isn’t bad or weird or creepy. It’s perfectly normal. I love lurking. It’s hard for me to not lurk - socializing takes a lot of energy out of me, even via text. (Heck it took 12 hours for me to write this post, I wish I was kidding--) Occasionally I’ll manage longer bouts of interaction - a few weeks posting here, almost a year chatting in a discord there - but I’m always gonna end up going radio silent for months at some point. I used to feel bad about it, but I’ve long since made peace with the fact that it’s just the way my brain works. I’m a chronic lurker, and in the long term nothing is going to change that.

The thing with being a chronic lurker is that you have to accept that you are not actually seen as part of the community you are lurking in. That’s not to say that lurkers are unimportant - lurkers actually are important, and they make up a large proportion of any online community - but it’s simple cause and effect. You may think of it as “your community”, but if you’ve never said a word, how is the community supposed to know you exist? If I lurked on someone’s LJ, and then that person suddenly friendslocked their blog, I knew that I had two choices: Either accept that I would never be able to read their posts again, or reach out to them and ask if I could be added to their friends list with the full understanding that I was a rando they might not decide to trust. I usually went with the first option, because my invisibility as a lurker was more important to me than talking to strangers on the internet.

Lurking is like sitting on a park bench, quietly people-watching and eavesdropping on the conversations other people are having around you. You’re in the park, but you’re not actively participating in anything happening there. You can see and hear things that you become very interested in! But if you don’t introduce yourself and become part of the conversation, you won’t be able to keep listening to it when those people walk away. When fandom migrated away from Livejournal, people moved to new platforms alongside their friends, but lurkers were often left behind. No one knew they existed, so they weren’t told where everyone else was going. To be seen as part of a fandom community, you need to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known, etc. etc.

There’s nothing wrong with lurking. There can actually be benefits to lurking, both for the lurkers and the communities they lurk in. It’s just another way to be in a fandom. But if that is how you exist in fandom--and remember, I say this as someone who often does exist that way in fandom--you need to remember that you’re on the outside looking in, and the curtains can always close.

I’ve always been super sympathetic to lurkers, because I am one. I know there’s a lot of people like me who just don’t socialize often. I know there’s plenty of reasons why someone might not make an account on the internet - maybe they’re nervous, maybe they’re young and their parents don’t allow them to, maybe they’re in a bad situation where someone is monitoring their activity, maybe they can only access the internet from public computer terminals. Heck, I’ve never even logged into AO3 on my phone--if I’m away from my computer I just read what’s publicly available. 

I know I have people lurking on my fics. I know my fics probably mean a lot to someone I don’t even know exists. I know this because there are plenty of fics I love whose writers don’t know I exist.

I love my commenters personally; I love my lurkers as an abstract concept. I know they’re there and I wish them well, and if they ever de-lurk I love them all the more.

So up until last year I never considered archive-locking my fic, because I get it. The AI scraping was upsetting, but I still hesitated because I was thinking of lurkers and guests and remembering what it felt like to be 15 and wondering if it’d be worth letting a stranger on the internet know I existed and asking to be added to their friends list just so I could reread a funny post they made once.

But the internet has changed a lot since the 00s, and fandom has changed with it. I’ve read some things and been doing some thinking about fandom-as-community over the last few years, and reading through the lore.fm drama made me decide that it’s time for me to set some boundaries.

I still love my lurkers, and I feel bad about leaving any guest commenters behind, especially if they’re in a situation where they can’t make an account for some reason. But from here on out, even my lurkers are going to have to do the bare minimum to read my fics--make an AO3 account.

Should we gatekeep fandom?

I’ve seen a few people ask this question, usually rhetorically, sometimes as a joke, always with a bit of seriousness. And I think…yeah, maybe we should. Except wait, no, not like that--

A decade ago, when people talked about fandom gatekeeping and why it was bad to do, it intersected with a lot of other things, mainly feminism and classism. The prevalent image of fandom gatekeeping was, like, a man learning that a woman likes Star Wars and haughtily demanding, “Oh, yeah? Well if you’re REALLY a fan, name ten EU novels” to belittle and dismiss her, expecting that a “real fan” would have the money and time to be familiar with the EU, and ignoring the fact that male movie-only fans were still considered fans. The thing being gatekept was the very definition of “being a fan” and people’s right to describe themselves as one.

That’s not what I mean when I say maybe fandom should gatekeep more. Anyone can call themselves a fan if they like something, that’s fine. But when it comes to the ability to enjoy the fanworks produced by the fandom community…that might be something worth gatekeeping.

See, back in the 00s, it was perfectly common for people to just…not go on the internet. Surfing the web was a thing, but it was just, like, a fun pastime. Not everyone did it. It wasn’t until the rise of social media that going online became a thing everyone and their grandmother did every day. Back then, going on the internet was just…a hobby.

So one of the first gates online fandom ever had was the simple fact that the entire world wasn’t here yet.

The entire world is here now. That gate has been demolished.

And it’s a lot easier to find us now. Even scattered across platforms, fandom is so centralized these days. It isn’t a network of dedicated webshrines and forums that you can only find via webrings anymore, it’s right there on all the big social media sites. AO3 didn’t set out to be the main fanfic website, but that’s definitely what it’s become. It’s easy for people to find us--and that includes people who don’t care about the community, and just want “content.”

Transformative fandom doesn’t like it when people see our fanworks as “content”. “Content” is a pretty broad term, but when fandom uses it we’re usually referring to creative works that are churned out by content creators to be consumed by an audience as quickly as possible as often as possible so that the content creator can generate revenue. This not-so-new normal has caused a massive shift in how people who are new to fandom view fanworks--instead of seeing fic or art as something a fellow fan made and shared with you, they see fanworks as products to be consumed.

Transformative fandom has, in general, always been a gift economy. We put time and effort into creating fanworks that we share with our fellow fans for free. We do this so we don’t get sued, but fandom as a whole actually gets a lot out of the gift economy. Offer your community a story, and in return you can get comments, build friendships, or inspire other people to write things that you might want to read. Readers are given the gift of free stories to read and enjoy, and while lurking is fine, they have the choice to engage with the writer and other readers by leaving comments or making reclists to help build the community.

And look, don’t get me wrong. People have never engaged with fanfic as much as fan writers wish they would. There has always been “no one comments anymore” wank. There have always been people who only comment to say “MORE!” or otherwise demand or guilt trip writers into posting the next chapter. But fandom has always agreed that those commenters are rude and annoying, and as those commenters navigate fandom they have the chance to learn proper community etiquette.

However, now it seems that a lot of the people who are consuming fanworks aren’t actually in the community. 

I won’t say “they aren’t real fans” because that’s silly; there’s lots of ways to be a fan. But there seem to be a lot of fans now who have no interest in fandom as a community, or in adhering to community etiquette, or in respecting the gift economy. They consume our fics, but they don’t appreciate fan labor. They want our “content”, but they don’t respect our control over our creations.

And even worse--they see us as a resource. We share our work for free, as a gift, but all they see is an open-source content farm waiting to be tapped into. We shared it for free, so clearly they can do whatever they want with it. Why should we care if they feed our work into AI training datasets, or copy/paste our unfinished stories into ChatGPT to get an ending, or charge people for an unnecessary third-party AO3 app, or sell fanbindings on etsy for a profit without the author’s permission, or turn our stories into poor imitations of podfics to be posted on other platforms without giving us credit or asking our consent, while also using it to lure in people they can datascrape for their Forbes 30 Under 30 company? 

And sure, people have been doing shady things with other people’s fanworks since forever. Art theft and reposting has always been a big problem. Fanfic is harder to flat-out repost, but I’ve heard of unauthorized fic translations getting posted without crediting the original author. Once in…I think the 2010s? I read a post by a woman who had gone to some sort of local bookselling event, only to find that the man selling “his” novel had actually self-published her fanfic. (Wish I could find that one again, I don’t even remember where I read it.)

But aside from that third example, the thing is…as awful as fanart/writing theft is, back in the day, the main thing a thief would gain from it was clout. Clout that should rightfully go to the creators who gifted their work in the first place, yeah, but still. Just clout. People will do a lot of hurtful things for clout, but fandom clout means nothing outside of fandom. Fandom clout is not enough to incentivize the sort of wide-scale pillaging we’re seeing from community outsiders today.

Money, on the other hand… Well, fandom’s just a giant, untapped content farm, isn’t it? Think of how much revenue all that content could generate.

Lurkers are a normal and even beneficial part of any online community. Maybe one day they’ll de-lurk and easily slide into place beside their fellow fans because they already know the etiquette. Maybe they’re active in another community, and they can spread information from the community they lurk in to the community they’re active in. At the very least, they silently observe, and even if they’re not active community members, they understand the community.

Fans who see fanworks as “content” don’t belong in the same category as lurkers. They’re tourists. 

While reading through the initial Reddit thread on the lore.fm situation, I found this comment:

[ID: Reddit User Cabbitowo says: ... So in anime fandoms we have a word called tourist and essentially it means a fan of a few anime and doesn't care about anime tropes and actively criticizes them. This is kind of how fandoms on tiktok feel. They're touring fanfics and fanart and actively criticizes tropes that have been in the fandom since the 60s. They want to be in a fandom but they don't want to engage in fandom 

OP totallymandy responds: Just entered back into Reddit after a long day to see this most recent reply. And as a fellow anime fan this making me laugh so much since it’s true! But it sorta hurts too when the reality sets in. Modern fandom is so entitled and bratty and you’d think it’s the minors only but that’s not even true, my age-mates and older seem to be like that. They want to eat their cake and complain all whilst bringing nothing to the potluck… :/ END ID]

-

“Tourist” is an apt name for this sort of fan. They don’t want to be part of our community, and they don’t have to be in order to come into our spaces and consume our work. Even if they don’t steal our work themselves, they feel so entitled to it that they’re fine with ignoring our wishes and letting other people take it to make AI “podfics” for them to listen to (there are a lot of comments on lore.fm’s shutdown announcement video from people telling them to just ignore the writers and do it anyway). They’ll use AI to generate an ending to an unfinished fic because they don’t care about seeing “the ending this writer would have given to the story they were telling”, they just want “an ending”. For these tourist fans, the ends justify the means, and their end goal is content for them to consume, with no care for the community that created it for them in the first place.

I don’t think this is confined to a specific age group. This isn’t “13-year-olds on Wattpad” or “Zoomers on TikTok” or whatever pointless generation war we’re in now. This is coming from people who are new to fandom, whose main experience with creative works on the internet is this new content culture and who don’t understand fandom as a community. That description can be true of someone from any age group.

It’s so easy to find fandom these days. It is, in fact, too easy. Newcomers face no hurdles or challenges that would encourage them to lurk and observe a bit before engaging, and it’s easy for people who would otherwise move on and leave us alone to start making trouble. From tourist fans to content entrepreneurs to random people who just want to gawk, it’s so easy for people who don’t care about the fandom community to reap all of its fruits. 

So when I say maybe fandom should start gatekeeping a bit, I’m referring to the fact that we barely even have a gate anymore. Everyone is on the internet now; the entire world can find us, and they don’t need to bother learning community etiquette when they do. Before, we were protected by the fact that fandom was considered weird and most people didn’t look at it twice. Now, fandom is pretty mainstream. People who never would’ve bothered with it before are now comfortable strolling in like they own the place. They have no regard for the fandom community, they don’t understand it, and they don’t want to. They want to treat it just like the rest of the content they consume online.

And then they’re surprised when those of us who understand fandom culture get upset. Fanworks have existed far longer than the algorithmic internet’s content. Fanworks existed long before the internet. We’ve lived like this for ages and we like it.

So if someone can’t be bothered to respect fandom as a community, I don’t see why I should give them easy access to my fics.

Think of it like a garden gate

When I interact with commenters on my fic, I have this sense of hospitality.

The comment section is my front porch. The fic is my garden. I created my garden because I really wanted to, and I’m proud of it, and I’m happy to share it with other people. 

Lots of people enjoy looking at my garden. Many walk through without saying anything. Some stop to leave kudos. Some recommend my garden to their friends. And some people take the time to stop by my front porch and let me know what a beautiful garden it is and how much they’ve enjoyed it. 

Any fic writer can tell you that getting comments is an incredible feeling. I always try to answer all my comments. I don’t always manage it, but my fics’ comment sections are the one place that I manage to consistently socialize in fandom. When I respond to a comment, it feels like I’m pouring out a glass of lemonade to share with this lovely commenter on my front porch, a thank you for their thank you. We take a moment to admire my garden together, and then I see them out. The next time they drop by, I recognize them and am happy to pour another glass of lemonade.

My garden has always been open and easy to access. No fences, no walls. You just have to know where to find it. Fandom in general was once protected by its own obscurity, an out-of-the-way town that showed up on maps but was usually ignored.

But now there’s a highway that makes it easy to get to, and we have all these out-of-towner tourists coming in to gawk and steal our lawn ornaments and wonder if they can use the place to make themselves some money.

I don’t care to have those types trampling over my garden and eating all my vegetables and digging up my flowers to repot and sell, so I’ve put up a wall. It has a gate that visitors can get through if they just take the time to open it.

Admittedly, it’s a small obstacle. But when I share my fics, I share them as a gift with my fellow fans, the ones who understand that fandom is a community, even if they’re lurkers. As for tourist fans and entrepreneurs who see fic as content, who have no qualms ignoring the writer’s wishes, who refuse to respect or understand the fandom community…well, they’re not the people I mean to share my fic with, so I have no issues locking them out. If they want access to my stories, they’ll have to do the bare minimum to become a community member and join the AO3 invite queue.

And y’know, I’ve said a lot about fandom and community here, and I just want to say, I hope it’s not intimidating. When I was younger, talk about The Fandom Community made me feel insecure, and I didn’t think I’d ever manage to be active enough in fandom spaces to be counted as A Member Of The Community. But you don’t have to be a social butterfly to participate in fandom. I’ll always and forever be a chronic lurker, I reblog more than I post, I rarely manage to comment on fic, and I go radio silent for months at a time--but I write and post fanfiction. That’s my contribution.

Do you write, draw, vid, gif, or otherwise create? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you leave comments? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you curate reclists? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you maintain a fandom blog or fuckyeah blog? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you provide a space for other fans to convene in? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you regularly send asks (off anon so people know who you are)? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you have fandom friends who you interact with? Congrats, you're a community member.

There’s lots of ways to be a fan. Just make sure to respect and appreciate your fellow fans and the work they put in for you to enjoy and the gift economy fandom culture that keeps this community going.

[akookminsupporter]

ARE YOU SURE?!: EIGHTH EPISODE

MY IMPRESSIONS

 Preface: This is not an analysis post, and honestly, I don’t want to overanalyse their interactions or everything they said and did—many others are already doing that. My intention with this post is simply to share my thoughts on the episodes, my impressions, and perhaps my conclusions.

Oh man, I don’t want AYS to end. I can't believe it's already over. It’s not fair. I don’t think it is. We should protest.

Yes, this is my second time watching this episode. I’ve been super busy, so I couldn’t watch it again. I’ve survived by watching clips and gifs on Twitter.

Objectively speaking, Jimin and Jungkook are seriously handsome. Gorgeous. Cute. And they look especially adorable without makeup. They look so young too. Jimin looked amazing in that grey sweater.

I’m unsure if Jimin and Jungkook keep track of the charts and that sort of stuff. Based on things they've said in the past, it seems like they’re not too fussed about it, but it’s nice to know that, in one way or another, they do see the results of their work and the fans' support, even months—or in Jimin's case, more than a year—later. When they were in the US, Jungkook also mentioned something about listening to the music charts in Korea, didn’t he? He did the same thing here, and their songs are still on there. They’re really killing it with their solo careers. Jungkook wasn’t lying when he said his favourite part of SMFPT2 was the second half, where Jimin came out half-naked, just saying hahaha.

When they arrived at the restaurant where they’d eat, the video looked like it was shot by a paparazzi or something, hahaha. Jimin looked incredible in that video. I don't know how to explain it, but he looked… famous, hahaha.

One of the descriptions we read a lot when AYS was announced was that Jimin and Jungkook would immerse themselves in the local cuisine wherever they visited. That description couldn’t have been more accurate, hahaha. These guys really travelled just to eat, hahaha.

Every time Jimin said he didn’t look good, or that he’s not handsome, or that his face wasn’t right, I just wanted to jump through the screen and give him two slaps to snap him out of it.

That clip of them waving at the camera through the window is… Jimin looked stunning. His messy, blonde hair at that length was perfect.

The "boyfriend shot," okay. Jimin, I need you to answer a few questions to fully understand that part. I understand what you were trying to say, but why did you say that? I don’t know if it’s a thing in Korea, but when you Google "the boyfriend shot," nothing even remotely close to that photo comes up, so it's not a trend or anything like that. So, that was... interesting. Jungkook’s non-reaction and just commenting on the photo itself was... he wasn’t bothered at all.

I think Jungkook loves to eat. He loves food. I think. It’s not something I can confirm, because it’s not entirely clear. But I reckon he loves eating.

It’s so cute when they mimic the silly things the other one does. They’re just too adorable.

That quirky habit Jungkook has of showing off everything he's about to eat. And Jimin too.

I mean, Jungkook, why did you tell Jimin to take off his pants and underwear? That’s a bit much, don’t you think? Hahaha. Jimin’s response to Jungkook, saying, "loud, repetitive noises make Jimin nervous" is hilarious, and we know he’s said it twice when Jungkook was teasing him. But I wonder what context that phrase has for him. Seriously, I’d love to see a copy of his YouTube watch history and search history to know how they find these videos. It’s clear Jungkook knows the context, hahaha.

Someone on Twitter mentioned that Jimin and Jungkook swap roles in their dynamic or relationship. One day, one acts like the hyung and the other like the younger one, and vice versa. Another day, one is the annoying one that the other just smiles at, and vice versa. And another day, one is the silly, cute one, and the other pretends to put up with it grudgingly, but really, they love it. It’s super interesting, especially when you think about the age difference between them and what that means culturally.

Jungkook in the car watching—or better yet, waiting for—Jimin to notice he wasn’t behind him is just too cute. That happy little giggle when Jimin finally noticed and came to get him was adorable. Jimin pretending to be annoyed about it is funny because we all know that man never gets annoyed about anything Jungkook does or says.

Jungkook was right—Jimin really did love the gimbap option he bought, hahaha.

"Jimin is Jungkook's Jungkook." I saw this in a tweet a few days ago, and I remember making a post about it. Reading the comments, I see some of you gave it a slightly different interpretation to what the tweet explained, and what I realised when I read it. What we mean by that, in this context, is that Jimin does the same thing Jungkook does with the other members’ songs—singing them all the time in a funny, but slightly annoying way, hahaha. The members usually just laugh or ignore Jungkook because, well, he’s Jungkook, hahaha. Jimin does something similar, and Jungkook just laughs and looks at Jimin like he’s thinking, “Cute,” because, to Jungkook, everything Jimin does is cute.

The editors syncing the song with the parts Jimin was dancing—or trying to dance—is way too funny, hahaha. Jungkook grabbing more things while they were already paying is so... all of us, I’m sure, hahaha.

I know there are a few theories—let’s call them that—about which card Jimin and Jungkook used, particularly in Sapporo. But something I noticed is that they always made sure to get the receipt, and at least the times I caught it, it was always Jungkook who kept it.

Why did they laugh when the staff member said the jacuzzi in this last place was bigger than the cold tub from the day before? Not just the laugh, but the tone when Jungkook said, “Ahh, from yesterday”—I didn’t get that part. Why that reaction? Even the staff’s little chuckles were interesting. What did we miss?

I think Jimin likes "Standing Next to You." I don’t know, just a gut feeling, hahaha.

The accommodations where Jimin and Jungkook stayed throughout the show were amazing, but the ones in Sapporo were definitely the most beautiful and impressive. The clip of them entering the house without context would be so hard to explain, hahaha. Did they choose the places they stayed in? Or did the staff show them the options before they arrived? Them walking down the stairs backwards... they’re so alike, hahaha. Jungkook, the fact that you two have different ages didn’t matter at all—you’re practically the same person, hahaha.

Oh? The room they were in when Jungkook was unpacking all the snacks he’d bought is different from the one where they slept, so they left their bags in a different room.

Jimin looks stunning in that clip where he asks Jungkook if he was going to get in the jacuzzi, ahahaha. Jimin and Jungkook bickering over silly things is one of my favourite discoveries about their dynamic in the show, haha.

Didn’t Tae say that this second chapter wasn’t about seeing them naked or something like that? Could he explain to me why that’s exactly what this second chapter has been about so far? Not that I’m complaining, hahaha.

Them in the jacuzzi. Jimin and Jungkook have such enviable bodies. They’re slim but muscular, they barely have any fat on them, and they’re delicate yet masculine at the same time. It’s enviable. And I’m not a man. Seeing them in the jacuzzi also reminded me that they are, after all, men, and like most men on earth, they do stupid things for a good laugh.

The way Jungkook looked at Jimin when he picked up the snowball to take into the jacuzzi was so sweet and innocent, and the way Jimin interpreted it as Jungkook saying ‘Are you really gonna throw that at me?’ was hilarious. What’s even funnier is seeing other fans, especially non-Jikookers, using that clip to say, “This is how Jungkook would look at you if he were your boyfriend” or “This is how Jungkook looks at X member because they’re together.” Like, do they not realise that by saying this, they’re acknowledging that Jungkook doesn’t look at Jimin like he’s just a friend or how you’d look at a simple mate? This also applies when they use clips of Jimin looking at Jungkook. The way Jimin and Jungkook looked at each other in that moment is... yeah.

When Jungkook lost rock-paper-scissors to Jimin to see who had to lie in the snow – honestly, men – and took a little extra time warming up in the jacuzzi before facing his punishment, was funny haha, the way he looked at Jimin was like, “Are you really gonna make me do this?” But what’s funnier was how he looked at Jimin when he said, “Come on, baby,” ahahaha. Jungkook was like, “Don’t come at me with cute nicknames,” hahaha.

Have I ever mentioned that I love Jimin’s tattoos, especially the ones on his back? I don’t think I’ve brought that up before.

Seriously though, do they share social media accounts and watch the same videos, memes, etc.? Wasn’t that song Jimin was singing when he was lying on the stairs the same one Jungkook sang on the first day in Sapporo when he was picking which sunglasses to wear?

What Jimin said – that if we see his trip with Jungkook, we’d know what he’s like at home – it’s no surprise, but is he like this WITH Jungkook at home too?

Kookoo-ah. The different ways Jimin says Jungkook’s name is just too cute.

Oh, it looks like the whisky Jimin bought or brought to drink with Jungkook is the same one Jungkook took with him the second time he went on Yoongi’s show. So, either Jimin bought/brought/ordered it because he knew Jungkook liked it, or they’re even similar in their taste for alcohol.

So, when Jimin said “honey,” he wasn’t saying it to Jungkook, he was talking about the whisky, and I guess that’s why Jungkook responded that they looked alike. That said, I choose to believe he was calling Jungkook “honey,” haha. They’re such drama queens, hahaha. Jimin, are you really gonna leave us hanging for a whole year?

Is it just me, or when Jungkook asked Jimin if he’d had his physical exam for the military, did it not sound like a genuine question? Like, he already knew the answer? Does that make sense? Hahaha. The way Jimin responded was funny, and something I noticed is that when Jungkook brought up the military service, Jimin seemed to avoid the topic, which is understandable.

It was nice how they included the staff too. In a way, it was also one of the last times they’d be travelling/working with them for a while. The staff member who suggested they watch the first episode of the show deserves a bonus, hahaha.

Have you guys noticed that when Jimin and Jungkook are sitting together, they tend to lean towards each other? Especially in relaxed seating arrangements, like when they were watching the first episode of the show. It’s not just that they sit really close, but they lean their bodies towards each other, almost like they’re trying to face each other.

Something I’ve always noticed is that Jimin doesn’t like watching himself on screen, except when he’s monitoring performances or music videos, of course. Even then, he’s super critical of himself. But in videos like the one they were watching, he tends to question or criticise his own behaviour, or he’s just embarrassed by himself. I really wish he’d stop being so hard on himself, so critical. Another thing that’s impossible not to notice is that whenever Jimin does this and Jungkook is around, Jungkook reassures him, saying he did well, or that it’s funny or cute, or he just laughs along with him. They really do have a sweet relationship.

Jungkook really didn’t like falling out of the kayak, the way he complained to Jimin about being left behind is hilarious, ahahaha, and Jimin trying to defend himself, hahaha.

They honestly laugh at the silliest things they say or do. I love that about them.

Even though Jimin told Jungkook he could keep watching the episode without him, Jungkook paused it until Jimin came back.

Okay, this conversation was so interesting:

Jungkook: “We were worried a lot while we were filming it. Is this going to be okay? Will they be able to edit this right?”

Crew: “We were also a bit worried.”

Why were Jimin and Jungkook worried? I know that in the first two episodes especially, they kept questioning whether they’d be able to do the show, or whether certain moments would make it in, etc., but why did Jungkook say they were worried about how it would be edited? What did they get up to? Or was Jungkook specifically referring to Jimin being sick the whole time, or part of their trip in the US? Because in that case, it makes sense why they’d wonder how it’d be edited, hahaha.

Jungkook was right when he said that Jimin just had to look at his face to start laughing, and also those times when he said Jimin was happier when he was with him.

I mean, Jimin telling Jungkook how dare he enjoy the scenery and his coffee while he was dying over there, ahahaha. At least he was looking out for him, haha. So, the stone tower was indeed for Jimin, haha!

Yeah, it was really fun. AYS is a blast. I can’t believe it’s over.

Hey, I wonder if the minutes they cut from the third behind-the-scenes were of them sitting at the table having drinks. Their faces looked a bit flushed by the end, haha, I imagine from the whisky. Not them apologising to each other for snoring from the alcohol, and not the editors putting in and describing their snoring sounds—everyone’s just too unserious, haha.

God, Jimin is so cute. His outfit on the last day looked amazing. Jimin tends to wear oversized clothes like Jungkook, but not as much as Jungkook does. And they look so good on him.

Was Jimin tearing up from the cold or because it was their last day?

Jimin went to wake up Jungkook, but why we didn’t get a clip of Jimin waking him up? I mean, did the editors rob us of that too? Incredible.

Wait, didn’t they sleep in the room they entered on the night they arrived? The one with the camera? Jimin just walked past it when he went to wake up Jungkook and remember Jungkook wasn’t in that room when he was unpacking the snacks he’d bought the day before. Oh, they did sleep in the room they walked into when they arrived, the one with the camera. So, Jungkook must have already been awake when Jimin went to look for him, or he was getting dressed in the other room where they left their bags! Okay, that makes sense because in the clip where they were about to sleep, the bags weren’t in that room.

Jimin, I can’t believe they didn’t get in the jacuzzi one last time. Jungkook walking over to Jimin to touch his head and say Jimin doesn’t like it when people do that, but that he can do it, felt a bit unnecessary. I mean, we get it Jungkook, you have privileges with Jimin that others don’t; no need to brag about it. Jimin looked super cute and fluffy at that moment.

I’ve always found it funny how the guys—not just Jimin and Jungkook, but all of them—are incredibly obvious when they’re promoting a product on one of their shows, ahahaha.

On the last day, Jimin looked a bit sad, nostalgic, and down. And that’s totally understandable. Did you notice that on the last day, Jimin wasn’t using his GoPro? Only Jungkook had one on, at least when they arrived at the restaurant for their last meal in Sapporo. Jungkook also seemed a bit livelier, but only to cheer up Jimin. When they sat down to eat, a GoPro appeared filming Jimin, but when he started eating and showing what he was having to that camera, they didn’t show those clips. I wonder what happened.

When the waiter brought the beer that Jungkook ordered, he put another one on the table but then it disappeared—did Jimin send it back? Jungkook realised that if he drank the beer, he wouldn’t be able to drive to the airport and continued to ponder whether he should drink it or not, even after the staff told him not to worry about it, shows... Jungkook wanted to be the one to take them to the airport. And he wanted it to just be the two of them in the car.

Are there no flights from Sapporo or Tokyo to the US? If there are, why did Jungkook decide to fly to Seoul and then the next day to the US? Wasn’t that way more tiring for him and his staff?

Jimin asking Jungkook which piece of sushi he wanted to eat, even when he won rock-paper-scissors to choose what to eat first, says a lot about the kind of person Jimin is. It’s the little things.

They really do have a peculiar and similar sense of humour.

Jungkook genuinely wanted to be the one to take them to the airport. That’s just too sweet. And now what that person said last year makes even more sense—that they saw them in the airport parking lot, I think, together with no staff around, just their cameras, and that a few minutes later their security showed up.

Jungkook really said: “We’ll enlist together, so even in dreams we should be together,” ahahahaha. God, I love the way they talk to each other. Jimin really did look melancholic that last day. Jungkook did his best to cheer him up.

They really loved doing the show; that was more than obvious. And I love that they had those moments of relaxation and fun before their world came to a halt for nearly two years. I love that they did it together, creating all those lovely memories together. That said, I love that they mentioned it. That they said they should do it again. A reboot, as Jungkook said. For Jungkook to say those were the best trips he’s had in his life is incredible and says a lot about what his time with Jimin meant to him. To them. And yes, they ate a lot during the show, hahaha.

Jungkook: “It’s like we were on a trip but not on a trip at the same time. It was all over the place, and that’s what made it fun.”

I don’t know how accurate that translation is, but what Jungkook said really resonates because, at the end of the day, that was “work” for them, and it didn’t feel like it. They felt at home, but not in a literal or material way; they felt comfortable. They were themselves. Yes, some things were planned, but the way they reacted to those or the unexpected things that happened is what made the trip special for them and for us.

“We’re probably enjoying ourselves right now too.” – Jeon Jungkook.

I want to believe that yes, wherever they are, they’re enjoying it together.

God, the way Jungkook looked at Jimin in one of the clips at the end of the episode. The man was enchanted. Do you know what it reminded me of? The Wlive the group did in 2021, the 210219 live, where Jungkook looked at Jimin with so much adoration.

I won’t lie to you, when I saw the last clip of them on the day they were enlisting in the army, my heart stopped for a second. I never expected that. It hit me with such nostalgia and sadness at the same time. It was a cruel reality check after all that happiness.

I loved AYS, and it’s something I’ll always treasure.

If you’ve made it this far, I’m sorry and thank you—I just couldn’t stop writing ajajajajaja.

As I mentioned a few days ago in a post, I'm going to share my thoughts/conclusions on the latest episode of AYS and the show as a whole in a separate post, which you can read here.

[granitenotgranted]

I'm gonna need ur reaction and thoughts about the RaM finale once you've watched it

I only watched it yesterday so im not gonna have any hot and spicy new takes for yall but ya girl DID have some thoughts lets go (obviously spoiler warning)

thank you SO SO much for asking!! I’m honored that you want my takes<33

Listen I hate to say it but I KNEW IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!! GOD!!! 😭😭😭

I just need to come out here and say this but first of all I dont think Rick replacing himself was really a bad thing,,,, like at all LMAO especially knowing that it was Rick who made him I mean it was more than just a replacement he was made to be the grandpa he wants for morty but he just knows he can’t be right now.

I can fully understand how it would absolutely feel like a betrayal to Morty but looking at it as a viewer I mean Rick was fully spiraling, to me his intentions were completely pure. Also I thik im just grateful they gave us a time stamp for when the swap was made so we didnt have to wonder forever how much of Rick this season was Rick. He still did piss master, he still kept Jerry blissfully ignorant just out of good will, he STILL WILLINGLY WENT TO THERAPY. All these wouldve been out the window if theyd overlooked that detail. 

Him recognizing that he was starting to go off the deep end again and not only removing himself but having his familys best interest in mind ( “Im no good to anyone until I resolve this” ) while doing so AND literally while mad at Morty is still INSANE character growth from where we started but this way is REALISTIC character growth. It was WEIRD how black and white the difference between literally yhe last two episodes and even just the rest of the season (which has famously been Rick in his peak good grandpa career) was. At some points it felt like I was reading fanfiction.

(Why do his knees look like that oh my god) Rick is fully capable of recognizing where he can be better, he always has been, he is not stupid *however* he is CLUTCHING onto the idea of being more logical than sentimental by the fucking neck rn. Men will literally build an anatomically flawless ai to be the perfectly calculated percentage nicer to their grandson and to be the man they wish they were before just going back to therapy.

Someone else mentioned this but ill also point out how much I appreciated just seeing Rick working? Like just in his space completely focused building shit with his brain and hands that hit the fucking spot. 9/10 times we only get the finished product and idk if its just me but I love when we SEE Rick living up to the Rick Sanchez tm reputation.

And Morty... my sweet summer child. It is not at all a shiny new take to say oh he’s so done with ricks shit we all know that but I really really want to point out something that I’m not really sure what point I’m trying to make with but have we noticed almost a switch morty flips when on adventures? He cried because Christmas was ruined like not even a full 6 hours before he was fully ready to kill a man while looking him in the eyes. Maybe the two were cause and effect idk bht I think that’s definitely something present in other episodes too this sorta “just get it done” attitude.

Also how much he sounded like rick this ep? That whole “don’t be too flattered he’s been actively trying to die” sounded EXACTLY like a Rick line I literally had to play it again. And the complete apathy for robo rick wanting to die until he ACTUALLY lunged himself into the void was also just textbook rick bullshit. Like grandfather like goddamn grandson.

The ending to me was a little disappointing tbh I think I was hoping for a more,,, structured? Cliffhanger? Like we dk what’s gonna happen in this storyline instead of the introduction to a new storyline yk? MAYBEEE I’m just salty we have to wait another year for more you can’t prove anything.

Rick being borderline manic ab RP at the end was my favorite it’s nice to see him just rant ab anything really and like not make some bullshit elaborate Halloween house to take his anger out but just legit vent ab what this guys been doing to him for the past fucking 40 years. I didn’t even notice the ep was over when the credits rolled in my mind we were only like 10 minutes in and I lost my MIND when mr poopy butthole pulled up again good to see he’s thriving (kinda)

On a final note when he called him Rick prime please let me know if I’m off but is that not an internet term for him? Like the fandom came up with it? Rick and morty writers are tumblerinas confirmed question mark?

And lastly: Neurotypical. Cooties.

[arcadejohn127-9]

I read the Diavolos ball and angsty stuff, can I please please please get a happy ending to go with it?

This has been a highly requested and I must give my poor followers comfort after this straight up angst

So everyone, let's get into it! Some hurt and comfort to soothe your hearts

Warning: angst, long

I'll be putting this under readmore as it is long and I have had someone before say they wanted me to add it on long posts, I never really got any feedback about what I could do better and how this will help with people's viewing but I understand why, long posts can be annoying

If you guys think I should do this with all my long posts please comment or dm me or even state it in asks/requests - I wanna do what I can to make things enjoyable for people

Part 1 - beginning

Diavolo's ball aftermath

It's been a few days since they've seen you; they expected to find you in the dorm. Some fear you went back to the human world; there was no messages, no note - there was nothing. You were completely gone.

Everyone was losing it. The brothers got more aggressively with each other, no longer able to have you come between them. Your presence was so soothing to all of them but now you were gone. As soon as they realized you were gone the whole air of the dorm shifted. It wasn't right.

Mammon got desperate to know where you were. He handed one of his crows a necklace he got you, you promised to never take it off. His heart shattered when he saw it was on your desk. He wasn't sure what he did wrong - why did you take it off? What happened to you?

It wasn't long before the crow came back to the devildom; reporting that you were in fact in the human world. The brothers were devastated. They had to tell the others and they had to watch the hopeful shine in their eyes die.

They could all feel thankful you were unharmed but you were so far. You did this to get away from them. You didn't even leave a damn note!

Diavolo ordered everyone to go to the human world. They all split up into different parties to get you, whoever could get you first had to interrogate you. It didn't take a genius to understand that the Noble told you something horrible - why else would you have such a reaction? Barbatos was tasked to 'calmly discuss' that night with said noble but regardless of how rough and merciless he was; he refused to talk.

It was wasting time and energy. If he wasn't going to talk then they had to get the answer from you. A few were able to gather the gist of what he told you from your conversation before you disappeared; you were convinced you were being used and just a replacement, a pawn to them.

They wanted the full story. The whole reason. Anything! Just to understand why you would push them away and disappear like this. What have they done to make the nobles words feel so real to you? They needed to fix it.

The demon brother's split into a team of two; eldest and youngest, the royals stayed together and the elder exchange students were a double team aswell.

The crows lead the teams their way, splitting up to different routes to see if they could circle you so they could talk to you even if you decided to run.

In the end they found you, you were across the pavement, a train coming. The pedestrian stop dinged as it commanded people to stop but the men couldn't help themselves.

"(Y/N)!!!"

You whipped around, shocked. You thought your ears were playing tricks on you but there was the boys. Your boys. Tears bubbled in your eyes. You couldn't believe it. They followed you to the human world.

The world slowed down; the wind blowing against you as your eyes widened at the sight of them. They looked exhausted, some even with tear streaked cheeks. The more impulsive bunch being held back so they don't go running towards you. The street lights illuminated all of you; their appearance looked just as broken as their hearts.

The train rammed itself between you all. Disturbing the moment with its blaring horn, the screeching wheels ringing in your ears. It was the second you had to decide; do you run? Or do you stay?

To let them get you and finally face your emotions or run away, avoid everything and keep letting despair consume you.

You stayed. You couldn't move at all. It was if you were glued to the spot. But you knew it was just your heart aching for them; desperate to hold them and cry out your pain.

As soon as they could, they all rushed to your side. Hugging you, grabbing at your arms and head to pull you close to them. You choked on your tears as you let the 11 men hug you and check your face and clothes. All just wanting to make sure you were really there and unharmed.

You missed them all dearly and you were so happy they missed you too.

But then the big question was asked.

"what happened that night?"

"he said he was happy to meet me...asked for a dance and I said yes, I never should of, he kept telling me I was just Diavolo's pawn, Lilith's replacement and convinced me none of actually cared for me....I believed him.....I felt so unsure and he knew so much about us I just couldn't stop the doubts in my head....I'm so sorry-!"

Lucifer:

He couldn't believe that noble said that to you

He hastily grabbed your face, wiping away your tears

"You will never be and never have been her replacement, you are your own person, your connection to our sister means nothing other than comfort that she was able to be happy and that's it - I apologize if we have made you feel like you are a replacement and have compared you to her.... please understand we just miss her very dearly but we all want you in our life more than anything."

You buried your face into his shoulder

Sobbing your heart out as you kept chanting apologies and gratitude in a broken voice

He silenced you, holding you close

The prideful demon hid his face as best as he could and let tears drip down his cheeks

He was so relived to have you back

It seemed that noble wasn't only going to be visited by barbatos

Lucifer was not known for being merciful

Mammon:

He grabbed your arm and hastily tugged you towards him

His other hand cradled the back of your head

"Don't ever run away again, you understand?! I'm supposed to be the one protecting ya and how am I supposed to do that if you're off running in different realms without telling anyone??!! That noble doesn't know anything! I don't know how he knew about Lilith but you ain't her, you're (Y/N) And that's it! You are your own person - you gotta call out my dumbass-ary if I compare or make you feel that way, I would never do it on purpose! I like you and only you! I can't lose you again!"

He pushed his forhead against yours

A shaky exhale leaving him

You tried to apologize but he cut you right off, hugging you closer

He was going to make that Noble pay for ever making you doubt yourself like this

To doubt how much he loves you

Levithan:

He was already crying

He was crying before you even considered crying

He rushed to you and grabbed your hands

"I got so scared I did something, Don't listen to that normie! Normies are losers for a reason! There's no one else I would want as my best friend - no one will ever be a better game partner than you! You always make me feel happy and proud to be me-! I couldn't ask for anything more from you! I miss Lilith but I miss you even more! You're my favourite person, you're not some replacement, you're you! You're my player 2-! I'm sorry if I made you feel like you're not as amazing as you are, please don't leave again!"

It wasn't long after his speech he hugged you

Squeezing you tightly as he relished in having you back in real life 3D

since you were gone he kept playing as your game avatars

Using ai set ups to feel like he was with you again in VR

That noble will not stand a chance against his fury

Satan:

He wasn't sure if he was mad at you or himself

It was most likely both - mad you left and let someone just destory so much work and progression in one meeting

But mad at himself for not making you feel secure

He couldn't bring himself to hug you but that was because he was scared he wouldn't let go

"I knew that Noble was nothing but a menace-! You can't listen to people like him, he's just trying to get to you and tear us apart - I don't know why he would do that but he isn't right, he will never EVER be right! You are yourself and never will be Lilith, I didn't get to me her or really know who she was but I do know you will never be her and never were her! I care so much about you and I will make sure to keep my stupid brothers to never make you feel that way again, I've missed you so much (Y/N)."

In the end, he fell into your arms

Holding you tight as he let out his tears of frustration go

You apologized but he just told you to shut up, he didn't want you to be sorry for being the victim

He already had plans on what he's going to do to that noble, trying to push those thoughts away

Focusing on how wonderful it is to have you close

Asmodeus:

As soon as he could reach you, he pulled you into an embrace

Shaking his head as tears streamed down

His makeup already starting to to drip along work his tears

"No! No! No! Noooo!! Don't listen to that horrible noble! He isn't right at all, he doesn't know anything about us or you! He obviously doesn't know how much we care about you and like you as your own person, I never meant to make you feel as if you were some sort of replacement! Lilith was her own being and so are you, your connection means nothing! I i will always be happy knowing my sister got to live the life she wanted but you aren't apart of that, your life is your own and you are nothing like her! I love you because you're you! I couldn't imagine ever loving someone as much as I love you, please come back to the devildom!"

He nuzzled his cheek against yours

Thankful to have you back in his arms again

He didn't like getting his hands messy but no one was going to make you feel that way ever again

He didn't care about that demons status

Beezlebub:

His hand landed on the top of your head

You flinched not expecting such a gentle pat but it only broke his heart more

"That noble knows nothing about you or any of us, he's turned my sister into an enemy to our relationship and I will not let that go on for any longer! You are not her and not her replacement, how dare he make you feel that way! you're apart of my family and I'll have it no other way, I really love you and missed you everyday you were gone - I was scared I'd never feel full again, you make me feel complete and when you disappeared I knew I wouldn't be able to protect you, I would of never forgiven myself if you got hurt! I want to always be able to protect you and have you by my side and make you feel happy - I promise I won't fail you again."

He almost fell to his knees once he was done

He was ready to swear to you on one knee, like a true knight

But instead hugged you

Mindful not to squeeze too hard but let himself be selfish and hold you tighter than he would normally dare to

He was one prone to be violent unless it was in sports or he was starved - the Noble starved him of your touch and kindness

He'll break more than just rooms once he gets his hands on that Noble

Belphegor:

He spun you to face him

Demanding

Needing your attention on him

It was only a few days but it felt like forever since he's had your eyes on him

"You're no pawn and no replacement, you are you and that's all I want, I don't want any one else, I know I've made you feel like a replacement - i did something horrible to you and then tried to make it seem like it was all okay after, I'm always trying to make up for that day but I know that is something that will always effect us! I missed you so much....you are your own person and you've helped me be a better person, come back home and let me make this right......you're all I want and need."

He broke down crying

Hanging his head low and it dropped onto your shoulder

He loosely held your waist whilst you gripped onto him tight

If everyone thought choking you was bad, just wait until they see what he plans to do with that noble

He couldn't stand seeing you so upset anymore

UNDATEABLES↓

Diavolo:

He gently held your arm

Giving it a small squeeze as tears built up

"He said all that? I'm sorry he made you feel like that, to feel such confliction and dread, You are never will be or were my pawn, you're a fantastic student and wonderful person who's did more than I've ever imagined Someone could do, if I could have asked you myself properly to be apart of the exchange program I would of but the world is not yet ready to merge and be aware of our existence.... please you have my deepest apologies and regrets that you felt this way and I've allowed such a person in my court, I will do whatever I can to make this right."

The tears finally fell and he became selfish

Hugging you tight against him, his fingers brushing against any skin he could touch

He couldn't dare to think how he'll be when you finally do leave the program

But until that time comes he needed to make it a good experience for you

If what barbatos did to him wasn't enough to convince him then he will not go back on his word

He'll fix this and do whatever he can to make all the pain stop

Barbatos:

He sighed in relief seeing you in the flesh

Knees buckling as he stood before you

His knuckles bloodied and bruised under his gloves

"I should of been more comforting when I found you, if I had known that was what he said I would of never let him be apart of the lord's court or be at that party, believe me when I say you are not a pawn or someone's replacement - you are so much more than that, you are you and someone that's made me feel closer to the present, to act quicker and stop using endless time as a excuse, I will fix this and make him regret ever uttering a word to you, I promise you."

Your touch was as gentle as ever

He caved, leaning against you

Happy to be able to make amends and fix the situation

The nobles dealt with him once and no matter what he did it wasn't enough

But he was merely holding back to be a gentleman, even if that noble now looks like a beaten raisin

It seemed he will have to do much worse to send everyone's message across

Solomon:

His face was gentle yet scolding

He gently brushed your cheek, wiping away a stray tear

"don't run off next time something like this happens, your life is so short and I hate to think would could happen if I lost you because you felt isolated even from me, you though you could find solace as both of us are humans but I was slow to understand your needs - you are deeply loved by everyone, I envy how much love you get and that's why I can't stand to see you run! I also love you and your presence, you have been so kind to me and I still have so much to teach you- please believe me when I say you're no one's pawn or replacement, you're important because you're you."

You crumbled completely

He hugged you as you apologized, calling yourself an idioit

But it only made him tsk, rubbing your back as he filled your ears with praises

He was sure the demons were going to rip that Noble to shreds but he couldn't help but desire his own revenge

Seeing you like this hurt him so much

Simeon:

He was so quick and gentle you could of mistaken him as a feather

He embraced you, cradling your head and rubbed soothing circles between your shoulder blades

"I was worried about you, I took you home and then I learn you've completely disappeared! No warning or note behind, you ran away - your feelings are extremely valid and I understand why you did this, It must of been so conflicting and you needed space to think and reflect, you're so strong (Y/N)! but you are also smarter than this, I feel ashamed knowing I haven't showed you how much I appreciate you being in my life and make sure you feel secure in the Devildom, I want to look over you but I've failed you already, that Noble does not know what he's talking about regardless of the information he has! I would never let anyone use you or let anyone treat you as some replacement, we all care so much about you."

He slightly swayed with you in his arms

Overwhelmed by his fears and the emotions that were rushing through him

He promised to never harm an innocent soul

That noble did not have one

He will leave the more physically destructive rage to the others

Wanting to merely talk and show the noble the error of his ways

Bonus:

You were back in the Devildom, Everyone was making sure to spend extra time with you. So happy to have you back and wanting to work on making you feel more secure. You couldn't stop how fast your heart was beating from all the overwhelming joy you felt.

It felt so good to be back. But you nagging worry remained in your head; what was going to happen to the Noble? you wished you could go up to him and yell at him. Prove him wrong and make him regret ever making you spiral like that.

When you brought up the idea, the men all looked at each other. A knowing look in their eye.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N) but I think it's best you don't see him but rest assured, we've dealt with him on your behalf and understand your wishes - let us know how we can help you feel resolved from that situation if this is unsatisfactory."

Diavolo answered. If it weren't the state the noble was in they'd happily let you chew him out but your heart and mind have been through enough already. No need to add on to the hurt with seeing what was left of him. They couldn't stand to see you upset again.

But you agreed, thanking them for their support and handling the situation. Unaware of their true actions. They all wished you a great day before going back to their own private meeting.

[seabass17]

All that’s left | Pt. 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem! Reader

A/n: So, this is... a different reader in comparison from the one in the first part but I kinda like it? Anyway, Im considering making a third part and im thinking it'll contain some smut. I used google translator so please don't judge me. Tell me what you think. Happy reading.

All that's left pt. 1

Warnings: angst, mentions of scars, swearing, implied smut?

Word count: 3.263

Summary: After moving from her life in New York, away from the Avengers and him, she finds happiness and a life that she actually enjoys, but that seems to last little when she spots the familiar jet on the roof of the building she lives in. Is she ready to face them? To face him?

*Three months later*

The warm air surrounding my body made me take a deep breath and unconsciously smile. I was happy, I was free, I was whole. I was with my neighbor drinking coffee in our usual spot, which was a cafe near the main street of the place that I decided was going to become my new home.

“Продолжай рассказывать мне о своем боссе, который сводит тебя с ума” (Keep on telling me about your boss who drives you crazy) Andrei said making me laugh and shake my head.

“Не о чем говорить, о�� просто засранец, который дает мне слишком много работы и заставляет меня плакать” (Nothing to talk about, he's just an asshole who gives me too much work and makes me want to cry) I laughed. I had met Andrei a week after I moved in and there was an immediate connection. No, it wasn’t in a romantic one, god no, we were just really good friends that had a lot in common.

“Now now, that was not what i saw the other day when i went to pick you up from work” He said with a playful smirk plastered on his light brown face. I gasped, a fake indignant expression on my face while my hand went to my chest. He laughed loudly. “Don’t play that card, I saw you!” he added

“I don’t know what you are talking about” I said, trying to fight the smile that tried to come out but failing miserably, we both laughed.

He and I had become quite close in the little time that we had known each other. He was an American with a Russian name. He explained that his mother was from the states while his father was a russian spy, they fell in love against all odds and eventually, Andrei was brought to this world. When he was fifteen his father died and he and his mom went to America, where he finished high school and surprisingly, entered the military. He did two tours before he decided that he had enough and returned to Russia. Hence why he could speak both Russian and English fluently. As for me, I told him that I was in some sort of organization that worked for the government, and that’s why I knew russian. He believed me, thank God,  I didn’t want to talk about how I was part of the Avengers and why I left. Obviously I will tell him when the time is right and I know that he can be fully trusted.

“Oh, come on Ames, are you going to tell me that you don’t like him one bit? Not in the slightest?” he asked, smiling and I shook my head. He stayed silent for a second and stared at me, like he was considering whether he should ask me something or keep quiet. “Is it because of him?” he finally asked, watching me closely to see my reaction. I felt my stomach twist at the mention of him. Of course it was because of him, because of them, I couldn’t afford getting hurt and betrayed one more time. Andrei didn’t know his name, or theirs for that matter, so I smiled weakly and nodded.

“Yeah, I know it sounds stupid but… I just can’t afford getting hurt, not again, not anymore” I said looking at my hands.

“I understand, believe me I do” he said, his hand reaching out to hold mine. I looked up to find his brown eyes looking for mine, I saw nothing but genuine love -the friendly kind- in them. I smiled and squeezed his hand. He was going to say something but his phone rang; a notification. He withdrew his hand to look at his phone and the moment he did, people around us started getting up and running in the same direction. I looked at him confused to find him frowning at his phone.

“What is it?” i asked.

“The Avengers are here…” He said and my heart skipped a beat and my body went rigid. Andrei noticed. “What 's wrong?”. Well, there’s no use keeping him from the truth anymore.

“So, remember when I told you that I worked for an organization for the government? Okay don’t freak out and hate me but, here it goes” I took a deep breath. “That organization was called The Red Room were they trained me from a very young age to be a perfect cold-blooded killer, years later i escaped and was on the run until i got a new identification, name, address, new everything and then joined the avengers to amend the wrongs I made in the past. To my luck, it didn’t go great because it ended up breaking me the same way The Red Room did, so I left to find a fresh start and came here where I met you. Please don’t hate me” I concluded in one breath. Andrei was silent with a straight face, which was hard to read, and eventually after a few seconds that felt like an eternity and shrugged his shoulders. WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN.

“Believe it or not, I've heard worse” he simply said

“Worse than finding out that your best friend is a train killer and former avenger?” i asked incredulously and he tilted his head and smirked

“US Agent mother and Russian spy father” He said. I laughed and he followed right after. “So, I'm guessing we are running away?” he asked. Say what now?

“We?” I asked, almost in shock to which he simply nodded, “You don’t think im just gonna let you go like that, please, is not that easy to get rid of me” he snorted. “And I'm supposing Amelia is not your real name either, given the fact that you ran off,” he added. Damn, he is good.

“Y/n, y/n y/l/n” I said and he slowly smiled

“Well y/n, nice to meet you, my name is Andrei Petrova” he said, extending his hand, i repeated his action with the same smile. “I’ve got to say, I like the name y/n more than Amelia '' he added and laughed. We were brought back to the matter at hand when the screaming of the people were getting louder. I snapped my head up and saw the familiar jet on the roof of the building where I was living.

“Here’s what we are going to do, I’m going to my apartment and buy us some time while you go get a car and,” i handed him my card “you are going to get all the money from my bank account. I will meet you in front of the cafe that’s two blocks away from my place”

“Are you going to be okay?” He asked with clear worry in his eyes. I smiled and nodded

“Yes, I promised. Now go” I said before he got up and ran. I sighed and went to my apartment. Was I really going to do this? After months, was I ready to face them, already knowing the truth? Well, guess I'm going to find out.

Once in the building I decided to programmed the lights to go out in 50 minutes and then I went to the elevator, wanting to appear as normal as possible even though I felt like my heart was going to explode from how fast it was beating inside my rib cage. When the elevator stopped at my floor I walked until I was standing in front of my door. I didn’t need to wait and confirm, I knew they knew I was here, now there’s only one thing left to do. But before I did anything, the door creaked open.

*10 hours earlier*

Bucky paced from one side to the other, finding himself incapable of staying put. Natasha sat silently on her chair, Tony was in the front with his head in between his hands, Steve was resting on the side of the wall looking at the floor, Bruce was just standing there holding his chin analyzing everyone in the room. Sam sat on the couch looking through his phone, Vision was sitting next to Wanda on the other couch, while Clint and Thor were sitting on the other chairs. Peter had some school stuff to deal with like the teenager that he was. They’ve been looking for her for the past three months, and about a week ago, a picture was found of someone that looked exactly like her, all except her hair that was a bit shorter and the color was different, but other than that, it was practically her.

Not wanting to get their hopes -or rather enthusiasm- up, they decided to look deeper and found out that the picture was taken a month ago in the city of Magadan located in Russia. They found out that before three months, the name Amelia Agapov, didn’t exist. The more they looked into it, the more they were convinced that it was her.

“The mission report from Agent Carter arrived, should i put it on the screen?” the voice of the AI filled the room. The team had been waiting for that report for days, the nerves of the question that lingered in the air ‘was it her?’ being present for that time only grew stronger as Stark asked FRIDAY to project the report on the screen.

Pictures were shown, most of them were about this woman buying in the market, having coffee with a guy, but there was one, where her face was looking straight into the lens of the camera, and it was that picture that left the people in the room absolutely rigid. It was her.

“We found her…” Tony said in a whisper. Everybody kept their gaze on the picture on the big screen. After months looking for her, they finally had found her. To everyone, it was like someone just discovered something new, a kind of relief and anxiety all at the same time.

“Suit up, we’re going to get her” Steve said to the group, but see, it was the choice of words from Cap that Bucky found unsettling.

“Get her? Like she is some kind of criminal?” he said, looking at his best friend dead in the eye. Steve opened his mouth to say something but Tony beat him to it.

“She was trained by The Red Room to be an assassin, we can expect nothing more from her '' He said, trying to calm Bucky down, but instead it only caused him to get angrier, and not only him.

“So was I” Natasha said, her voice low that could scare anyone to the bone if they weren’t so used to her.

"It's different" Tony said

“How is it different?” Wanda said this time, “It wasn’t when you practically recluded me after I helped Ultron and tried to kill you all” she added.

Tony sighed and looked down, realizing that he might be overreacting.

“Let’s just get suit up and get on with it” Steve said, cutting the rather awkward silence that filled the room.

The avengers were suit up and on the quinjet in less that forty-five minutes, and they were in Madagan in nine hours, it took them an hour to find her building, and once they found it, Clint landed the jet on the roof and they all got out and looked for her apartment. Funny enough, it was the same number as the one she used to live in New York; 108. They waited for what seemed an eternity until they heard footsteps just outside the door. Suddenly, the air felt thick with anticipation, but Bucky couldn’t wait any longer so he crossed the living room in two steps and opened the door. She was standing there. Silence took over the entire apartment until she broke it.

“Well, are you going to move so that I can get inside my goddamn apartment Barnes?” she said expectantly. Bucky realized that he had been staring at her since he opened the door. Her hair was different, more wavy and a shade or two lighter. He moved to the side and she was able to see the rest of the team. This was going to be one hell of an evening.

Breathe. In… and out…

It was hard. Fuck. Okay i can do this.

“Well isn’t this nice. All the team back together again!” I said with sarcasm dripping from every letter.

“What the hell did we ever do to you?” Steve said firmly.

“Damn, getting straight into it. That’s okay” i shrugged as I went to my room but the sound of the blasters of Tony's suit stopped me.

“Stop, don’t take another step” He said, lifting his hands and I smiled.

“Really? Well unfortunately i have to change, so i’ll leave the door open if it makes you comfortable” i said as i continued to walk to my room, and like I said, i left the door open.

“Y-you don’t have to do that, you can…” Wanda said but trailed off. I had taken my shirt off; my scars were shown.

“So, Steve” I broke the silence as I put on a black shirt, “the thing that you did wasn’t as bad as tin man over there, but you still let Hydra take me the day we took out the helicaries” i added. His face got pale and started shaking his head.

“What? No, you made it out safe, you-” He started saying but i interrupted him

“You sure? Who do you think stopped Rumlow when he tried to interfere with the exchange of the chip when you were in the helicarrier with Bucky?” He started thinking for a moment until he realized what I said fell into place. “Yeah, I took one hell of a beating, and if that wasn’t enough, I fell to the water. I fell thirty floors down, and I alone got myself out, because I didn't have anyone to cover me or have my back” i concluded.

“Your scars…” Tony said this time and i turned to him

“Yeah, thanks to you Mr. Stark” i said and he looked at me. “Doctor said that 74% of my body is covered with scars, along with one or two burns”

“You were that girl in The Red Room” Natasha said, causing me to turn my head to look at her and I smiled cynically, “You are Eliza” she finished.

“Давно не виделись с Натальей” (Long time no see Natalia) i said and she looked at me in pure surprise in her faced. That’s something coming from the famous Black Widow.

“What about the rest of us y/n?”  Sam said this time, redirecting my attention from Natasha to the rest of the group. Thor was standing there holding his hammer, Bruce was next to the fridge, Clint was by the sink, Wanda was with Vision beside the kitchen table and Bucky was by the door. They were all looking at me. I took a look at the clock, I have to leave in less than thirty minutes.

“Long story short, Clint, Bruce, Sam, Wanda and Vision are the ones that didn’t do anything, so just chill out, you are still on my good side” I smiled and waved my hand.

“Hold on, but what did I do?” Thor asked and I looked at him.

“God it really is unfair how such a little thing can cause such a big problem. The first time you came down to earth, met Jane, bla bla bla… when her stuff was under custody of shield, and you took that notebook; they blamed me. I know it may seem weird because, how? Thing is, I was undercover at that time inside Shield, so when the notebook disappeared, guess who was the one that got beaten for it. I couldn’t move from the pain.”

Thor was standing completely still.

“Lady y/n…”

“How is it possible? I was there  and never saw you” Clint interrupted Thor.

“It was before the avengers, i was on the run and a girl's gotta eat. Don’t worry, I never gave them anything. Got the money and then killed them, they were nobodies” I shrugged off.

“So, that’s all you needed to know, so if you please leave my…” I said but then he interrupted me.

“No” I would be lying if I said it didn’t send shivers down my spine at his tone, and I hate even more that he noticed it. “You’re missing one doll” Well fuck me

I turned to see him and he was walking painfully slow towards me and I was praying for my legs to not give out.

“Barnes” I simply said, thanking God and all the saints that it didn’t come out as a whimper. I took a look at the clock once more. I have to leave. Now. “Such a shame, wish you had fought for us, I would have gone through hell and back for you, Buck” his eyes were looking straight to my own and I felt like he was staring at my bare soul. In a way, he was. I smiled and I saw behind my back that the team was looking at us, we’ve never been this close, not in public anyway. I standed on my tiptoes and reached for his right ear, he instinctively reached down so it was a bit easier for me.

“If you want to know, you’ll have to find me first дорогой” (Sweetheart) I whisper. Next thing, the light went out just like I programmed it to and I slid beside Bucky to reach out to the door and to the hall. I could hear the team screaming ‘what the hell just happened’. I ran to the emergency stairs, and once out I could still feel him behind me, getting close. I went into an alley, having to detour, knowing that he eventually was going to catch up to me and I couldn't have him follow where I was really going. A few seconds later, I felt him caging me to the wall on the alley, both of us breathing heavily. His flesh hand went to my throat and his metal one rested on the wall.

“Given a different occasion, I would have loved this, don’t get me wrong, I still love how you…”

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked huskily and I smiled.

“I told you, you’ll have to wait until you find me again. Alone.” i said

“Come on Barnes, do you really think that the charade of being your personal fuck toy would last forever?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“It wasn’t like that, i…” he said but trailed off. The pain in my chest starting and clenching my heart.

“There it is…” i said lowly, the hurt in my voice evident, “listen, i’d love to keep talking about how you used me, but like i said,” i got close to his face, my nose touching his, “find me to found out” after that,  I raised my knee kicking him right in between his legs.

He let out a pained groan and fell to the floor, causing his grip in my neck to give out. I took advantage and ran. Two blocks away, I saw Andrei. When he saw me running to him, he immediately got in the car and turned the engine on, then I got in.

“Drive, fast” it was the first thing i said

“Where?” he asked while we took off. I smiled and looked at him

“You’ll see”

-

-

-

Taglist

@silentkiller2374 @vikingqueenlove @girlfriday007 @supraveng

[ragingbookdragon]

These Words You Should Always Remember: To You, My Heart I Surrender

Batsis x Ghost-Maker One-Shot

Word Count: 4.6 Warnings: Explicit Language, Violence, Angst

Author's Note: This wasn't supposed to be 4K words y'all. I swear. But y'all better love me for it. Enjoy! -Thorne

**********************************************************************

There were the occasional sounds of fists meeting faces and shins hitting sides echoing in her ears, but she paid them no mind, eyes trained on the screen before her. She was content to let her brother and oldest friend beat the ever-living shit out of each other if it meant they’d eventually put their feelings aside and make up. Of course, it was a long-shot pipe dream and one not so easily reached—she could hope though.

Over the sound of the continual fighting came footsteps, followed by, “Aunt (Y/N). How’s it hangin’?”

Glancing over her shoulder, she smiled at her second nephew. “Jason,” she greeted warmly, and he bent down beside her, letting her press a kiss to his temple. “What are you doing here so late? I thought you and Roy were going to Panama City tomorrow? Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

He shrugged. “Plane leaves in the morning. Figured I’d hang around here for the night to say a couple ‘see you laters’.” Jason’s eyes followed the screen. “Is that the human trafficking ring out of Saint Petersburg?”

“Yeah,” (Y/N) answered, turning to click at the mouse. “Some lawyers from the courts around here got caught in a hotel room with a few of the girls.”

Someone new appeared in her peripheral, two people actually, Tim and Dick. “Didn’t they arrest everybody in the hotel room?” Tim asked, propping his chin on her shoulder.

She reached up and scratched his scalp the way he liked. “They did. The girls were sent to a secure facility for treatment and the lawyers have unsurprisingly lawyered up. None of them are talking.” (Y/N) clicked on the screen, opening a tab that led to an interrogation room. “Gordon’s not having any luck. Whoever’s running this operation is obviously terrifying enough that none of these guys are cracking. Even with the threat of getting sent to prison for life.”

“Want some help?” Dick offered and she shook her head.

“Nah. We adults have it.” (Y/N) looked at them and smiled. “You guys go do what young people do. Hang out with your friends, drink, party, be young.”

“I feel like you’re saying that to the wrong trio,” Tim said. “None of us drink except Jason and even then, none of us party.”

She shook her head again, this time in shame. “God, you people need to live.”

Jason happened to glance over her head, and he frowned. “Speaking of needing to live…you might wanna stop Bruce and GM from killing one another.”

(Y/N) turned in the direction of her friend and brother and sighed. “Am I a terrible person for considering letting them punch each other unconscious?”

“Nope!” came unified response and she chuckled, rising from her seat.

“Thought so,” she said, walking over to where Bruce and Ghost-Maker were about to go at it again.

She stepped in between them, gracefully dodging a throw punch and a kicked-out leg, shoving both of them back in return. “Hey, enough.”

“Move.” Bruce commanded and she glared at him.

“I said, enough.” Her head turned to Ghost-Maker. “We all know this little sparring match has gone a bit farther than just training.”

“No one’s getting hurt, (Y/N).” Ghost-Maker said, and she narrowed her eyes.

“Maybe not right now, but someone will get hurt and we don’t need that.” She pointed to the opposite ends of the room. “Separate and cool off. Both of you.”

Seeing that she wasn’t going to budge, Bruce let out a puff of air and turned, striding into the showers, leaving her and the other man on the mats. (Y/N) sighed quietly, rubbing her temples, and griped, “I swear you both make it so difficult to be around.”

“Only because he lets his emotions get in the way.”

(Y/N) looked up at him, watching as he wiped the sweat from his face. She caught his hand. “You busted your knuckles.”

“I’ll be fine.” He started to pull away and she tightened her grip.

“Don’t even start with me, Ghost.” She tugged him to the med bay and shoved him towards a seat. “Sit.” He obeyed, though she could tell he was probably making a face at her, and she busied herself with finding the antiseptic and some wraps.

Turning back around, she perched herself on the desk and placed his hand in her lap, gently wiping the blood and dirt away from the wounds; then she set the rag aside and wrapped his knuckles with the fresh gauze, carefully, as if he were made of glass.

When she was finished, she couldn’t help but do the childish thing she’d come up with all those years ago during their training; (Y/N) softly rubbed her thumbs over his knuckles, blowing quietly, then she murmured, “There. All healed.”

A rare smile came over his lips, though she could tell it was more of a sneer than one. “You’re still doing that?”

(Y/N) huffed a laugh and shoved his hand off her legs. “Yes. How do you think I managed to heal all the wounds me and the family have gotten over the years?”

“Hmm, stitches and alcohol.”

“Smart-ass,” she grunted, rising to her feet. “You hungry?”

Ghost-Maker stood from his seat. “No. I have to get back to The Haunt.”

“Hot date waiting?” (Y/N) cracked, elbowing him in the side and he snorted.

“No. I need to read up on the information Icon’s run through since I’ve been gone.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, gazing at him. “You know I’m doing that right now with our scans, right?”

“Of course, I do. But you’re not Icon.”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes. “Great, I’ve been beaten by an AI.”

“An AI that I designed.” Ghost-Maker added, and she glared at him for a moment before chuckling.

“With fear, so I’ve heard.”

He shrugged. “I figured I would give him the one thing I lack.” He looked over at her. “Do you want to come with me?”

She wanted to, but she sighed heavily. “I can’t.” her eyes found the shower room door. “Someone needs to stay behind and talk to him.”

“I’m not surprised you’re staying.”

It was all he said before he disappeared from her sight and (Y/N) bit the inside of her cheek as something aching tugged deep in her chest. She hated how easy it was for her to understand when Ghost-Maker was disappointed in her decisions. How easy it was for him to impact her feelings. It’d been almost two decades since they actually held real conversations and every memory of the time they’d spent together, her, him, and her brother came back to her. Every moment of watching the two boys go head-to-head, and her torn between her family and the man she loved—it’d always been that way…and sometimes she wished she were like Ghost-Maker, unfeeling of love and empathy.

She shook herself from her stupor and walked into the locker room, leaning against the wall of the closed shower door; she could see his feet beneath the door. “Why do you always let yourself get so angry when it comes to Ghost?”

“You know why.” Bruce retorted. “You know how he is.”

“And I know how you are,” (Y/N) countered. “Yet you refuse to admit that on some level he’s got good points.”

He stuck his hand out from the opening of the door. “Towel.” She waited. “Please.”

Handing it over, she said, “You and I both know the longer we do this the darker it gets…the darker we get.”

“I’m not killing people, (Y/N).” Bruce griped as he stepped out of the shower, the towel around his waist. He’d busted his eyebrow and lip.

“I’m not saying you have to, Bruce. I wouldn’t expect you to. All I’m saying is you won’t admit that Ghost is right about things.”

“About what!” He shouted, turning on her. “That I should just start slitting throats up and down the street! That I should give up what we started as children! What (Y/N)!”

She merely stared at him amidst his yelling and then she calmly stated, “That you can’t save everyone.” He didn’t react, just looked at her as she explained, “You are so hellbent on the idea that everyone can have a moral redemption arc, but the truth is that not everyone has one nor does everyone deserve one.”

(Y/N) shook her head. “Sometimes I think Ghost was right. Trying to save everyone? Giving up every part of myself to make sure everyone lives? He was right. It eats until there’s nothing left inside you.”

“So what? You’re going to stop saving people?”

“Don’t be an idiot, Bruce.” She gave him a sharp look and said, “I’m going to stop saving the people who don’t deserve saving. And if that means I let someone bad die? I can live with that.” Walking off, she ignored him as he called out for her to stop, leaving him alone.

***

The little hovering tray floated into her peripheral and she blinked, turning to look at it. “Good evening, Miss Wayne. Refreshments?”

She smiled, plucking a champagne glass off along with a few grapes and cheese slices. “Thanks Icon.”

“You’re welcome.” The tray wandered off and she walked over to where he was sitting down, silently reading through the reports.

“Find anything interesting?” she asked, popping a grape in her mouth as she nudged his elbow off the armrest to perch on it herself. His arm unconsciously rested around her waist, fingers brushing the side of her pants.

“Leonidovich is having a party tonight.”

(Y/N) hummed, watching as he clicked through the pictures of the party’s setup. “Big place. Open. Good for plain clothed security to get around in.” she narrowed her gaze. “This is the ball room of the Winter Nebula Hotel. Who’s renting out the penthouse?”

Ghost-Maker smirked. “Our host for the party.”

She nodded. “Then that’s where the real party is going to be tonight.” Glancing at him, she asked. “Any big ballers on the VIP list?”

“Oh, a few internationally wanted arms and drug dealers.” He looked at the screen. “Leonidovich picked up a new shipment of girls earlier. He’s probably going to make a deal with the dealers tonight in exchange for them.”

(Y/N) nodded. “I guess it’s time to put our noses to the grind then.” She shimmied off the seat and started towards the closet. “Have any dresses back here?”

“You’re going inside?” he questioned, almost sounding surprised.

“Well, you can’t go it,” she retorted. “Your wily ways of fucking and flying means that people know your face.”

“Half of it.”

(Y/N) stuck her head out from the curtain, neck, and shoulders bare. “You’re not going to go in without your mask on. We both know that.” She pulled back in, grunting and shuffling around until she was finished.

Pulling open the curtain, she stepped out in a thigh length white heart-bodice dress, form fitting to her body and off the shoulders. (Y/N) slipped in the black metal teardrop earrings. “Part of me wants to ask why you have female clothing in your closet, but the other part wants to ask why on God’s green earth do you have to buy everything in white.”

Her face pinched. “It’s sterile. At least paint some gray in here somewhere, Jesus.” Ghost-Maker merely chuckled at her complaints and stepped behind her, gently placing something around her neck. “What are you—”

He let the black necklace fall to her chest and gently grabbed her chin, the other plucking a small device from the tray that Icon had next to them. Maneuvering her head to the side, he reached up and stuck it behind her ear, snug and out of sight. “Your hair should cover it,” he said.

“What is ‘it’?” (Y/N) asked.

“Listening device.” Ghost-Maker nodded to the screen, and she looked over, seeing a black box on the screen with a marker that was ticking. He raised his fingers to her ear and snapped; the blue marker etched with the sound, and she couldn’t help but feel impressed.

“Nicely designed, Ghost.” She remarked, glancing back at him. “Get my invitation?”

“It’s printing.” He met her eyes. “You need to be careful.”

(Y/N) knew he was being serious, but she couldn’t help but mess with him a bit. She smirked. “Why, Ghost, are you worried that I can’t handle a bunch of international criminals by myself? Me? That mighty Widow-Maker?”

“I’m not worried about you.” He said, and it hurt a lot more than she expected it too. “But I’d be down a sparring partner if you got yourself killed.”

She blinked at him. “I’m not sure what’s more upsetting—that you only think of me as a sparring partner or that you legitimately think I can’t do this by myself.” (Y/N) tipped her head. “Ghost, I’ve got this.” He opened his mouth to say something, but she turned away, walking to the door. “Where will you be tonight?”

He watched her back. “I’ll be doing what I do best. Surveying until you get into the penthouse.”

“You can’t bust in until I get enough on Leonidovich to have him arrested.”

“I’m not going to arrest him, (Y/N).” She turned, staring at him, but she said nothing, and he cocked a brow. “You’re not going to stop me?”

Her gaze fell to the tile floor, and she shrugged. “I don’t think I can, even if I tried to.” She let out a breath and turned. “Good luck tonight.”

***

To a novice, the party would’ve just been a normal high-class function, but to her knowing eyes, both from her own billionaire life and her vigilantism, this party was crawling with criminals. She’d caught at least seven drug deals go down in the past five minutes since she walked in, and at least nine men went off with escorts.

She inconspicuously grabbed a champagne chute from a waiter’s tray and sipped it lightly, scanning the room for Leonidovich. He was in the corner of the room, sitting next to a few women who (Y/N) recognized from the missing persons in Gotham.

His eyes flashed to hers and she gave him a flirty wink, disappearing to the bar, knowing he was going to take the bait. Sure enough, a hand touched the small of her back and she hummed as his lips brushed her ear. “I wasn’t expecting a goddess like you to come to this party tonight.”

She smiled and leaned back into his chest. “This goddess goes where she pleases.” Tipping her head slightly, she caught his eye. “And where her boss will find the best deals.”

“Deals, hmm?” he hummed. “What kind of deals are you expecting?”

(Y/N) smiled. “Oh, the ones where lots of money is involved…and merchandise.”

He gazed at her for a few moments then murmured in her ear, “The code word for entrance to the penthouse is ‘подземный мир’.”

“I’ll remember.” Leonidovich pulled from her with a smile and disappeared into the crowd. Something made her want to shiver from disgust, but she concealed it, watching and waiting for him to enter the elevator.

When he did, she waited another few minutes before walking over to it; the security stopped her and she cocked a brow, muttering, “подземный мир.”

The two guards looked at each other then stepped aside, letting her into the elevator. Another guard was inside, and she smiled politely as she stepped in, glancing at the little panel as it blinked.

It dinged, signaling their arrival and when the doors opened, she was greeted by an extravagant penthouse. To her surprise, there weren’t many people inside, just Leonidovich and his personal entourage.

“Ah, you’ve come,” he greeted, holding out a hand.

She took it, letting him place a kiss to her knuckles. “I told you, this goddess goes where she pleases and where she’s needed.” Looking around, she murmured, “My boss would prefer our business done alone. Is that possible?”

The guards seemed to turn even frostier but Leonidovich merely chuckled, nodding his head as he let her go and gestured to a side door. “The office is just through those doors. We can draw up a contract.” He turned to his thugs. “Wait here.”

(Y/N) nodded, following him as he led her into the office, noting how he locked the door, and he motioned to a chair in front of the desk. “Please, sit.”

Taking her seat, she crossed a leg over her knee. “You wouldn’t happen to have something to drink, would you?”

“What can I offer you?”

“Vodka.”

He chuckled. “Ah, a woman after my own heart.” He waltzed over to the bar and poured them both glasses, walking back to hand her hers. “Here you are.”

(Y/N) took it and clinked her glass to his. “ваше здоровье.”

They both downed their glasses and for effect, she held her façade. “You speak and drink like a true daughter of Russia.”

She smiled. “I’ve had more than a few drinks with many sons of Russia.” Glancing out the window, she added, “My boss is interested in your inventory. A few of them actually.”

Leonidovich hummed, turning back to wander over to the drink counter. “Tell me about your boss.”

“He’s a multi-billionaire out of Hong-Kong. Made his fortune by building cell towers and selling opium on the side.”

“Opium is a highly sought-after drug.”

“That it is,” (Y/N) agreed. “He’s been branching out into Kolkata, wanting to get into the spice trade.” She gazed into her empty glass, staring at her reflection. “But the men over there want something in return…more than money, if you catch my drift.”

“I do.” He said, matter of factly. “Perhaps I can offer them something better.”

“And what would that be?” almost there. She thought, but she never expected—

“You.”

(Y/N) turned her head just as he swung his arm as hard as he could, the vodka bottle in his grasp. She barely even had time for her eyes to widen when it collided with her temple, shattering into a thousand shards, cutting deep into her skin.

She fell out of her seat and hit the ground, dazed and in a massive amount of pain. Reaching up, she felt the blood pouring from her head and she sucked in a shuddering breath, trying to wipe away the fluid from her eyes so she could see.

Of course, he didn’t give her time because he was pressing his knee into her back, fingers yanking the listening device from behind her ear. Leonidovich glared at it and smashed it between his fingers. “I know who you are working for. I’ve seen this tech before.”

(Y/N) rolled onto her back, throwing out her elbow, which to give her credit, she did catch him in the jaw, but he was quick to respond, punching her across the face. Blood pooled in her mouth, and she spat at him, then his hands were winding around her throat, squeezing tightly. It reminded her of the training in the Amazons where she had to learn to uncoil anacondas from her body.

His grip became tighter and tighter just like the reptiles and she bared her teeth as she tried to suck in air, digging her nails into the flesh of his hands, his wrists, anything she could scratch at. He was heavy enough that she couldn’t flip him and with the dress tight around her thighs, she couldn’t cock her legs up to his shoulders or waist to get any distance between them.

She gasped when he put his knee in her stomach and that was the last bit of air she had to hold in. Her lungs started burning, begging her for air she felt the panic starting to rise in her as she thrashed beneath him, trying to throw him just an inch, but nothing was working.

Dark spots started to ebb out from the corner of her vision and like the phrase had come alive, she saw every moment of her life flash before her eyes. Every wrong decision, every right one. Every goodbye, every hello. Every person she’d ever lost and every one she’d ever saved. Her nephews’ and nieces’ faces darted across her vision followed by Bruce’s and then his.

She didn’t want to die now. Not since he’d come back to see them after so long. She wanted to stay. Wanted to tell him she loved him, even if she knew he would never be able to feel the same. She wanted to live.

Gunshots sounded from the outside, but they were like whispers as her eyelids started to droop shut, brain fogging from the lack of oxygen. Her hands started to go slack as the door was kicked in and as her arms went limp, something damp splattered across her face and the weight of Leonidovich’s body fell away.

(Y/N) sucked in a lungful of air and rolled, with what strength she’d received from the freedom, over onto her side, coughing violently. Her head was swimming with pain and her brain felt like someone had taken a mallet to an overripe melon.

Someone gripped her shoulder and she screeched, flailing on them when they grabbed her wrists. “(Y/N). It’s me.” They pulled her against them, folding her to their chest and placed a hand to the back of her head. “You’re safe.”

Sandalwood and metal oil wafted up her nose and she heard the familiar hum of his suit. “K?” she breathed, terrified to pull away and look at him.

His thumb caressed the back of her head. “It’s me, (Y/N).”

Something broke inside her and she buried her face in his cloak, sobs wracking her body as she clung to him. Words passed her lips, and she wasn’t sure what she was saying but it didn’t matter because all she could think about was how he’d saved her in the nick of time. The man she’d turned her back on at twenty to go home with her brother, had saved her again.

***

When she awoke, she sat up straight in the bed, vaguely unaware of how she’d gotten there in the first place. She started to move when she heard, “I wouldn’t get up if I were you.”

Stilling, she looked over, seeing Ghost-Maker with a book in his hands. Sun Tzu’s The Art of War, one of his favorites. When they used to train together when they were children, they used to lie under the stars, and he’d tell her all about how each chapter in the book had been devoted to a different art of warfare; she loved how passionate he would get when he talked about it.

“What happened?” she asked, fingers twitching against her side where it had started to ache.

“You were found out and almost strangled to death in penthouse suit.” He snapped the book shut. “When the bug went down, I moved in and took care of the criminals in the suite before killing Leonidovich and saving your life.”

(Y/N) frowned as he set the book down and leaned over, checking inside the bandage that was wrapped around her head. “Thank you.” Her eyes found his behind his mask. “What happened after?”

“You don’t remember?” he inquired curiously, and she tried to shake her head, but his grip was firm, keeping her in place.

“No. I remember you saving me but everything after that is a giant blur.” Suddenly she felt too transparent and pulled from his hands, turning her back to him as she threw her legs over the side of the bed. She rested a split second and stood, though his earlier warning rang in her ears as her knees buckled beneath her, head swimming.

He was there in an instant, arms wrapped around her waist as he caught her, lowering her back onto the bed. “I told you not to move.”

(Y/N) grunted at him and when he moved to pull away, she held on, resting her head on his shoulder. “Just…wait, K.” She whispered softly. “Please, just a moment.”

Ghost-Maker didn’t move though she felt the way he tensed at the first letter of his name. “You called me ‘K’ back there too.”

“I was relieved to see you.”

“And what you said afterwards?” She fell silent. “You don’t remember, do you?”

(Y/N)’s lips pulled downwards. “I have an idea of what I said. But I doubt you’ve been oblivious to it all these years.”

“Why do you love me?” he inquired, and from the tone of his voice he was either genuinely curious or completely baffled, she was hoping for the former and not the latter.

She turned her head, ignoring the prickling of pain as her temple brushed his shoulder, and pressed her forehead into his neck. “Because you saw who I was when no one else did.” Tears started swimming in her vision, and she reached up, curling her hand in his suit jacket. “I love you because you’re you, K. Because you’re my oldest friend and the one who’s always known me.”

Ghost-Maker closed his hand around the one in his suit and fell silent for a long while and (Y/N) stayed quiet too, simply letting the tears fall from her cheeks to the skin of his collarbone, her lips quivering against his skin.

“I can’t love you the way you love me.” He finally admitted.

(Y/N) blinked the tears away, whispering, “I know.” She started to pull away from him, reaching up to wipe her eyes. “I’m sorry, K.” It was hard to look at him, but she managed it, barely. “Just…give me some time and let me work through all,” she gestured around herself, her heart, and her head. “This.”

“You’re not angry at me.” He remarked and her brows furrowed.

“Of course not. Why would I be?”

“Because I don’t feel what you do. Love.”

(Y/N) couldn’t help but laugh despite the heartache. “K, I’m not going to get angry because you don’t feel love.” She reached up and placed a hand to his cheek, her thumb brushing against the fabric he kept covering his nose and eyes. “I know that in your own way you do care. Even if it’s not love.” Her hand shifted and she ran her thumb over his lips. “I can live with that.”

Ghost-Maker slid his hand up the side of her neck, pulling her to him; he pressed his lips to hers and she closed her eyes, letting herself be lost in the bliss of the moment, if only for a moment, then she pulled away and opened her eyes, gazing at him.

She offered him a sad smile and managed to find her feet again, rising from the bed, leaving him there. “I’ll see you sometime soon, K.” she said, walking to the door.

“Do you want me to call Bruce to pick you up?”

“No. I’ll walk for a bit.” (Y/N) got to the door and stopped, pausing to look back at him. “K?”

He glanced over, meeting her gaze. “Hmm?”

“Do you know what my biggest regret is?”

“I don’t.”

(Y/N) grimaced. “It was leaving you.” Even behind his mask, she knew the surprise was in his eyes; she knew him that well. “And if I could do it all over again…I’d stay with you instead of getting on the plane that night.”

Ghost-Maker looked shocked for a moment, then it gave way to a smile. A real smile. One she hadn’t seen in years from him. “I think I would liked that.”

“Goodnight K.”

“Goodnight (Y/N). Stay safe.”

[mypoisonedvine]

Love, Theoretically | Sebastian Stan x reader (Chapter 5)

(chapter 1) (chapter 2) (chapter 3) (chapter 4)

series summary: having lost your husband, sister, and best friend all to the same extramarital affair, you ran away to a secluded villa in the Hungarian countryside to write and get a little time away from the life you’d left behind.  you were only looking for peace and perhaps some inspiration for your novel, but instead you found an unlikely connection with the immigrant repairman– even though the two of you don’t speak the same language.

word count: nearly 2.5k

warnings: vague description of a wet dream, some sensual implied stuff (??), 

moodboard and inspiration credit to @evnscvll​

In all your life, you’d never had a wet dream.  Not even in high school when so many of your peers were coping with puberty and budding sexuality in similar ways— not even when you’d wanted to have one about David Kapoor, the cutest guy in senior year who didn’t even know you existed but that you were somehow convinced was going to fall madly in love with you one day.  

It never did work out for you two, but you’d finally managed to have a wet dream.  This one, though, was about Sebastian.

In your dream he had cornered you in the kitchen, kissing you deeply before tossing you onto the table and— well, the rest doesn’t bear repeating.  It was all very ‘discount bin romance novel’ wasn’t it?  The exotic, rugged farm boy roughly taking the formerly-prudish businesswoman in the middle of the house, too deep in the throes of passion to care if someone walking by saw them.

You didn’t find it all that sexy by the time you woke up; moreso just humorous.  That’s preposterous, you thought to yourself, nobody’s ever gonna love me like that.

It was something your husband had said to you once.  You couldn’t even remember what the context was anymore, but clearly it had had an impact on you to be repeating it internally now.  Just last week, Mrs. Alberti had gotten on your case for speaking poorly of yourself.  Clearly, the things you said about yourself to others were nothing against what you said about yourself to yourself.

Your papers had only taken a day to dry, but the ink was pretty severely smudged.  Knowing your publisher wouldn’t accept them in a manuscript, you resolved to retyping the most damaged ones— a good mindless task to do while you pondered your next steps plot-wise.  You’d seen Sebastian less for the past week, and it was no accident; you’d been avoiding him because you were trying to nip this in the bud before it got any worse.  Your divorce isn’t final yet, you need to heal.  This is fantasy, not reality.  You barely know each other.  Your divorce isn’t final.  Your divorce.  Isn’t.  Final.

That was the mantra you found yourself repeating as you retyped the waterlogged sheets; so much for the plot-pondering plan, eh?

You heard someone coming up the stairs, and you knew it was him because the steps were coming too quickly to be Mrs. Alberti.  “Come in,” you instructed before he’d even knocked.  

“Bună ziua,” he greeted as he opened the door, leaning inside.  “Am pregătit cina, ai vrea să mănânci?”

“Hm?” you asked as you turned around in your chair, adjusting your reading glasses.  However, his question became more obvious through context when you saw he had oven mitts and an apron on, and was holding a wooden spoon.  “Oh, um, I’ll be down for dinner in a minute.  Soon.”  You held up a few fingers, hoping he would successfully interpret them into minutes.

“Arăți bine în ochelarii aceia,” he motioned, pointing towards you.

“I’m sorry… what?” you asked, not sure at all what he could be talking about.

“Ochelari. Sunt drăguți,” he re-emphasized, but it was useless as you gave him another confused look.  He sighed, straightening up a bit as he began a new method: “Îmi plac,” he said, pointing to himself and then giving a thumbs up, “ochelarii tăi,” he pointed to you, and then made circles with his fingers and brought them up to his eyes.  

You laughed a little, but you were pretty sure you got what he meant.  “You like my glasses?” you clarified, reaching up to wiggle them on your face a bit.

“Da,” he grinned.  “Pari inteligent.”

“Thank you,” you nodded, and he nodded back as he shut the door and his footsteps faded back into the kitchen.

Once a few more pages had been redone, you gave your hair a quick combing before heading down for dinner with Sebastian.  It smelled a little strange by the time you went downstairs, but when you swung open the door to the kitchen, you were instantly hit with a wave of acidic air, forcing you to wince and cough.  Even that didn’t help much, and you forced your eyes shut as they stung.

“Jesus Christ,” you yelped, “the fuck are you cooking?  Tear gas?!”

“Oțetul te irită?” he asked, not sounding as concerned as you would’ve hoped considering your obvious pain.  It was like you could taste it in the air, and it wasn’t until you managed to open your burning eyes again that you realized what it was: vinegar, in a huge jug right next to the pot he was boiling it in.

“You’re boiling vinegar?” you realized incredulously.  “God, Europeans are fucking weird.”

He just looked back at you with bewildered bemusement.

“In America,” you tried to explain, “we don’t eat vinegar.  We clean our floors with it.”  You pointed to the jug and made a motion meant to indicate scrubbing a surface, and he laughed a little.

“Americanii sunt prea sensibili,” he dismissed with a wave of his hand, turning back to the stove to stir his pot of disinfectant which he apparently planned to serve you as a meal.  “Am avut ciorbă de oțet de când eram copil.”

You’d typically considered yourself an adventurous eater— even with vinegar-pickled things, like kim chi which you’d learned to acquire a taste for— but this one put you to the test.  Considering the smell alone had singed your sinuses, you were nervous what would become of your innocent tastebuds.  But after he served the soup (a dark orange color, so apparently it wasn’t just the boiled vinegar) into a bowl for you and another for himself, you found the taste of it oddly pleasant when you sipped it gently from your hesitant little spoon.

“Vezi, nu e așa de rău,” he smiled gently as he watched you fail to recoil in disgust from the flavor.

“Just like ma used to make, huh?” you chuckled as he ate the soup with incredible speed, even going as far as to lift the bowl to his lips and drink the last few sips that way.

Eating dinner in silence with him was unexpectedly comfortable.  “You wanna know something funny?” you found yourself mumbling aloud.  “I enjoy talking to you more than anyone I ever did back home, and you can’t even understand me.”

His smile softened as he stared back at you, apparently sensing the change in your tone as you spoke.

“See, right there, that’s it: you’re listening to me.  You know it’s useless, you know you won’t be able to tell what I’m talking about, but you’re listening anyways.  Over two billion English speakers on the planet and none of them have listened to me like you do.”

Then you heard yourself, and it was so heart-breaking that you had no choice but to laugh.  It was just a chuckle at first, but then you couldn’t stop it, even when you realized how confused Sebastian would be.  Everything is funnier when you know you shouldn’t laugh, and soon you could barely breathe as tears warmed your eyes from the force of it.

“I’m sorry,” you tried to spit out between your fits of laughter, but it was barely comprehensible anyways.  Sebastian began to laugh with you, if hesitantly and with a hint of confusion.

“De ce râdem?” he asked gently.

“I’m sorry,” you repeated, calming down a bit, “I’m sorry I just… I was just imagining what my husband would say, if he knew I was here…” you trailed off as you laughed again, starting over.  “If he knew I was here, falling for someone I’ve never even spoken with.”  You shook your head, resting your face in your hands as you chuckled lightly.  “Oh, he’d hate this.  He’d tell me I was out of my mind.”

With a slow sigh, your laughter subsided as you wiped the wetness from your eyes.  

“He’d be right, but… I don’t really care,” you decided.  “He’s not here.  If he wanted to find me, he would.  And maybe it’s because he’d hate this that I’m having so much goddamn fun doing it.”

When you looked at Sebastian again, his face was serious, yet anything but stern.  Suddenly, you weren’t thinking about your husband anymore.  Of course you logically understood how odd this all was, how impossible it was for you to be slowly finding yourself in love with someone like him, but it felt right, and true, and real.  It made no sense, and yet it made perfect sense in every way that mattered.  

“I’ll help you clean,” you offered as you stood up, realizing you’d gotten lost in your train of thought and probably stared at him for a bit too long.  He stood up with you, helping you gather the used dishes and letting you wash them in the sink while he put the remaining soup in the refrigerator as leftovers for another time.  “I’ll cook for you tomorrow,” you promised, “something real bland, like the English cook.”

“Sper că nu intenționați să gătiți pentru mine cândva, nu suport mâncarea occidentală,” he mumbled as he continued to wipe down the countertop with a damp towel.

With the kitchen clean, you knew you should get back to writing your book, but you were compelled instead to read somebody else’s— so, as you slipped onto the couch with one of a few of your favorites that you’d brought with you, Sebastian summoned the same copy of Dracula you’d seen him reading a few times and took the loveseat.  Not much else happened after that, save for you shivering from a draft and him tossing a throw blanket on you.  

“Ce carte citești?” he asked you eventually, breaking the silence.  When you looked up, he was pointing at your book.  “Book?”

“Right,” you laughed, “I taught you that.  My book, uh, it’s good.”  You closed it, leaving your finger inside to mark your place as you showed him the front cover.  “On the Road?  Ever heard of it?”

He just cocked his head to the side.

“Jack Kerouac?” you continued.  “It’s about going on a long journey in search of… freedom.”

“Acesta este cel despre zombi?” he asked.

“Sure,” you nodded, wishing more than ever that you could know what he was saying.  He smiled and got back to his own reading.  Indulging yourself for a moment, you watched his face as it fell into a neutral expression while he read, his eyes trailing along the page as he continued to read.  You didn’t realize it, but when you returned to reading your own book, he got his chance to look at you.

A long day of writing meant you had more than earned an evening to relax by the fire; late summer became early fall, and early fall turned into the need for a fireplace so much faster than you’d anticipated.  The days were temperate, sure, but as the sun began to sink lower, so did the warmth.  You started your evening with a hot shower, though you didn’t let yourself get too greedy with the limited supply of hot water, knowing Sebastian relied on the same supply for his own baths.  When you finished, you dressed yourself in a fluffy lavender robe, feeling especially pampered when you put on a little moisturizer before heading downstairs to cozy up with the fire.  You were already getting chilly, the heat from the shower fading as your wet hair and bare feet cooled you quickly.  Therefore, it was more of a scurry to the fireplace, which you hadn’t expected Sebastian to be tending or you wouldn’t have come down in a robe.  He’d seen you in less (namely, his shirt and nothing else, which was horrifically embarrassing) but something about this felt more intimate, like all your defenses had been washed away in the shower, too.  Didn’t help that he was shirtless, again.  Wasn’t he cold in this weather?!  Must be all that muscle keeping him warm.

“Bună seara,” he greeted.

“Good evening,” you returned.  Stepping closer, you rubbed your hands together as you felt the hot air radiate towards you.  “It’s nice,” you sighed contentedly.

He smiled back at you, moving the logs slightly with the iron poker.  Sparks jumped and fell off as he shifted them, joining the ashes below— you’d always thought fire was so beautiful, even if it was dangerous, and you took in a long breath through your nose to smell the tinge of smokiness in the air.

“Te încălzești?” he asked quietly as he set the poker aside and stood beside you.  You wrapped your arms around yourself, rubbing through the fabric of the robe to try to warm up a little faster.  Seeing you shiver, he reached out and rubbed your arms for you, which made you tense up slightly before relaxing and breathing out.  “Mai bine?”

You nodded a little, your gaze drifting slightly.  

“Warm?” he asked, making your eyes jump back up to his.  You swallowed dryly as he looked back at you.

“Warm,” you repeated, “yeah.  Good job… when’d you learn that?”

He didn’t answer, watching your hands as they reached out for his arms, finally making delicate contact with his tanned skin before drifting up to his biceps, his shoulders, and finally his chest.  He put his own hands on top of yours and held them there, looking back at you as your heart started to beat rapidly and with no signs of slowing down.  “Warm,” he repeated, only slightly above a whisper.

“Oh yeah,” you agreed hoarsely, “very, very warm…”

He smiled a little; it wasn’t mischievous, it wasn’t conniving or predatory or malicious.  It was subtle but gentle in a way you had absolutely no plan to save yourself from, no protection, no armor, no neutral territory.  There was only heat, so strong that your toes weren’t cold anymore and you didn’t even remember that your hair was still damp.  Not only did you let his heat consume you, but you didn’t even think to stop it, to swallow your desire down, to run away and say goodnight and hide in bed from the icky scary feelings.  No, you looked right back at him and let those eyes pierce right through you, that cold blue changed entirely with the warm firelight reflecting in them.  

“Do you want to come to my room?” you asked slowly.  The words were useless, but a glance back to the stairs that led to your door and back at him asked the same question with much more efficacy.  

He nodded, and you stepped backwards as he followed you: across the house, up the stairs, and to your room.  You opened the door.  He shut it behind you. 

[thepringlesofblood]

Flinging My Murderbot Opinions Into The Feed: Vol. 3

i wanted to both read and listen to exit strategy before making my book-ly Opinions Post, so here we go

1. I am once again calling out Kevin R Free, a very talented voice actor, for somehow pronouncing “hologram” correctly (HALL-uh-gram) but when reading the concatenated version of the same word, “holo”, pronouncing it completely differently (HOLE-oh).

Sir, your voice acting is choice, and I deeply admire you as an artist, but what the hell???

mb uses “holo” and “hologram” interchangeably so like Kevin R. Free clearly knows that “holo” refers to a “hologram”

it’s like that “malk” sketch from a bajillion years ago where the guy can say “milkshake” but then says “milk” “malk”

2. Pin Lee is everything. the light of my life. the moon and the stars. the mozzarella on my pizza. I love her so much.

her angrily coming into mb’s room like ‘ugh we broke the law to make you some safe anonymous IDs in case you wanna ghost like you did last time, do you fuckin get that we’re serious now?’

fuck me “this isn’t a deadly weapon. this is a person. an angry person.” got me dying on the ground, she is so sharp and so loving at the same time, fuck.

I saw this somewhere else once but someone was like “it’s great seeing Pin Lee pull the ‘you’re my client’ card on murderbot bc that’s usually the card that it plays” and they were RIGHT

I love that mb felt like a little more comfortable coming up to her for the first time instead of mensah or ratthi or anything bc it was like ‘look, out of everyone, I know I can cut through the bullshit with you’ and was just like ‘hello. its me.’ out of nowhere

3. I knew it was coming but “I wasn’t afraid that she wasn’t my friend. I was afraid that she was, and what that did to me” knocked me the FUCK out. so many interactions in this book had me on my fainting couch, a HUG?????? one-hit KO’d me. “first aid” my ass murderbot you liked it and your lil touchstarved ass is getting so much love and respect from now on

4. the apologies.on both sides. its so rare that we see both people admit theyre wrong and maybe while mb doesn’t do it quite so literally its hammered home again and again that they CARE for it, goddammit.

5. mensah.she. she watched sanctuary moon. to try and understand. that whole conversation was so perfect and raw and open and I love it so much. I didn’t realize how much I missed having mensah as a character until she was back. the revelation that after all this time, mb likes sanctuary moon so much because it was the first thing it had access to? that it “kept it company without having to interact’? I cried.

6. it’s the recovery from trauma, your honor. reading mb slowly regaining memory and relearning trust in a safe environment? thank you ms. wells for my life.

7. mb characterizing bot pilots and “lower” intelligence AI as childish instead of inferior is just. fascinating. it does the same thing we do with opportunity and space rovers where we make a little personality up of all its operational functions except obvs the bot pilots are more advanced and aware n shit, but when it was like “bye ship, you were there when it counted” and characterized as beeping sadly at mb going out the “wrong door”???? amazing.

8. just. the metaphor. the metaphor of setting up security cameras so your secunit friend can literally feel more secure and giving it more access and agency in its own environment so it doesn’t have to make eye contact and can operate on its own terms i’m having an emotion too, murderbot

9. the Gang getting to see what mb is like just completely unfiltered is amazing. i mean obvs it’s not great that it took severe memory damage to do that but “I don’t like you�� “I’ll mark your cognition at 55%” “fuck you” “60%” was one of my alltime favorite moments. plus, casual interactions b/w PresAux and murderbot, when they’re not in immediate all-consuming danger? its more likely than you think.

10. mb talking to mensah’s kid is WILD. I know it was only a few minutes but their conversation was fantastic. “is being a secunit weird?” “yes.” *doesn’t elaborate* 10/10

11. the offer of freedom to the combat secunit. i just. it hit different. I realized that at the end of each book mb has an interaction with another bot that lifts the curtain just a little bit on how exactly bots relate to each other and what crossing those social boundaries entails, and what those social boundaries can even be, given the vast diversity and scatteredness and lack of agency of bots.

In ASR it was when the other SecUnits at Port Free Commerce didn’t talk to mb after it came out of stasis aka the ‘i know i said we werent friends but usually yall at least let me know whats going on?’ 

you could also argue it was when mb had to kill the DeltFall secunit that had the combat override module installed.

in AC it was the comfortunit (ART is a whole other ballgame)

in RP it was Miki

in exit strategy it was the combat secunit. 

just. I love wells’ determination to not have things go exactly right, you know? it’s gonna be more complicated than mb just offering to hack the other bot’s governor module and them automatically saying yes! it’s going to be more complicated than ‘all secunits are 100% good virtuous people trapped in a bad system’

12. mensah’s whole rescue scene was so tense, it reminded me of the mensah-snatching at the end of asr, right down to the parallel of jumping out of the train vs jumping off the cliff, but it was so much more intense. i 100% share mb’s satisfaction and relief with having a client/character who can just roll with the punches and do all the right things in a horror movie. she is amazing and mb and her just have drift compatibility, ive never seen pacific rim but i loosely know what that means

13. mb’s motivations are fascinating to me in this one. the obsession with ‘winning’, the intense competitiveness, the complete disregard for not only its general safety (we knew that one going in), but its whole life, as long as its death constitutes ‘winning’. fucking wild.

14. murderbot: when humans I didn’t know came by, I holed up in my room so I didn’t have to talk to them

me: oh no it’s me

15. this feels like a finale. Like idk much about the publication order of these, but it definitely feels like the 1st four books were intended to be A Chunk, a full arc, with this as the last one. I can’t FUCKIN wait to read network effect.

have a meme as compensation for the long-ass post

[that-terrible-writer]

Not Like This

I’m over trying to add this through Safari.

Part 3

Part 1 2

“You call yourself terrible but this, this is beautifully written and I need more.”

“This has got me on the edge!!!! I dont usually like reading series or even multiple parts but dude I wanna read more of it!!!!!!! Are you planning on writing more??? This is so fucking AMAZING”

Warning: Over 3.3k to make up for me sucking.

You felt you had an out-of-body experience. You could see everyone in the control room at STAR Labs, but you were only watching their lips move. No noise was coming out. It was pure silence. You were utterly dazed; you couldn't get the image of Iris crying out of your head. She seemed so helpless, not getting the answers that she wanted. What were you supposed to do? Confess to her that you were the other woman?

A yell snapped you out of your thoughts. Turning your head slightly, you saw Ralph getting closer to you, "Y/N!" Ralph yelled. You covered your ear, wincing at the volume of his voice. You swatted Ralph away from your space, taking a few steps back.

"What is your problem, Dibny?" You mumbled, taking another sip of your coffee. It missed your lips, spilling the hot liquid onto your sweater. You let out a groan, patting the stain in, slamming your coffee cup down on the desk. The group looked at you, not wanting to say the wrong thing; though, Ralph took one for the team.

"I didn't mean to annoy you, Y/N," He explained. Ralph cautioned himself, taking a step towards you, "It's just, now's not the time to be spacing out. You know, with Cicada still out there." You lightly nodded your head, understanding Ralph's point. You rubbed your eyes, letting out a deep sigh.

"I'm sorry, Ralph. I didn't mean to take it out on you," You clarified. You glanced over at Barry, reading his worried look at you. Your heart ached when you locked eyes with him. A flash of Iris appeared, causing you to look away from him quickly. "Iris was over at my apartment last night, talking to me until 4 in the morning, so I didn't get much sleep last night."

You quickly saw Ralph's mood turned from concerned to being unsettled. You waved Ralph away from you, walking towards the doorway. You lifted your hand before letting anyone interject on what Iris was doing at your place. You looked over at them, "She's upset about the whole Nora thing. If you don't mind, I'm going to draft some weapon ideas and run them through Cisco." Cisco gave you a thumbs up, bringing the attention back to the Team, discussing ways to stop the biggest threat to Central City.

You walked by the weapon's room, heading straight to the lounge. You observed the room, seeing some things that Nora had left behind. You slowly made your way to the couch, plopping your heavy body onto it. You leaned your head back, letting out another frustrated sigh. You rethought your night with Iris when you knew you could no longer call yourself a friend anymore.

You brought over a cup of tea, sitting across from Iris. You thought that Iris would be out of tears, crying for an hour, and she still could go on for longer. You bit your thumb, trying to find the right words to say. Not to show concern for her, but to make sure you didn't let anything slip. Iris leaned over, cupping her drink close to her. She looked up at you, her face stained, her eyes puffy.

You grabbed a nearby box of tissues, handing them over to her. You watched as she blew her nose, sniffling the last bit. She collected herself, taking in a deep breath, "I'm sorry you had to watch that," She softly said.

You waved your hand, relaxing your shoulder, "Iris, it's okay. I would do the same if I were in your position." You waited until Iris took some time to drink her tea. You paused at first, not wanting to press on a sensitive matter. The curiosity was eating you alive, taking over, "Iris, why do you think Barry is cheating on you? Have you seen each other? You're the definition of couple goals." You clasped your hand over your mouth, not believing that you just asked her something so personal. Even if it did have to deal with you: you had to act like you didn't know.

Iris lightly laughed. You noticed the cup you gave Iris. It was the exact cup you were going to hand Barry when he interrupted you that night. You grew uneasy, rubbing your mouth and constantly moving your legs. You had to keep reminding yourself to calm down. You couldn't give away any tells.

"He's been more distant lately. He hasn't been relying on me as much. He used to come to me for emotional support; it's what a husband and wife do for each other, but when it came to Nora, he didn't want to discuss her." Iris explained. Her voice cracked, on the verge of crying again. Iris inhaled, calming herself down, trying to force a smile, "He came home this morning, and I don't know how to put it; he just seemed happy."

"Happy?'' You repeated. You furrowed your eyebrows together, shifting yourself on the chair. "How could he be happy? He sent Nora back; I would imagine happy is the last thing he would be feeling."

Iris shook her head, "I thought the same. Granted, I didn't know about Nora until he told me. He came home, all happy, then he informed me that he took her back to the future. I just can't figure him out anymore, Y/N." Iris placed her cup on the table to be able to put her head into her hands.

"I don't know what's going on, Iris. I'm in no place to tell you how to feel, but we need to remember Barry is going through a lot. Not only do we all have Cicada on our hands, but Barry also has to try and figure out Crisis. Then he learned that his daughter is working with the man that killed his mother. It's a lot to take in. We can't predict how someone could handle this type of thing." You tried your best to find a way to excuse Barry's behavior. You cursed under your breath, annoyed at how careless Barry was. You knew you had to speak with him, but you didn't need to grow any more suspicion.

"You're right; we don't know how Barry is handling all of this. Maybe I'm reading too much into this. It's just caught me thinking of so many things because he didn't come home last night. I've been just letting the worst come to mind." Iris confessed. You went over, sitting next to Iris, wrapping your arm around her. You took in a deep breath, having been heartbroken when you heard Iris let out her cries again.

Your stomach turned, remembering last night. Rubbing your face, you couldn't shake the feeling away. You noticed something at the table. A fresh cup of mocha had appeared, from Jitters, with Barry Allen staring down at you. His eyes lit up when they instantly locked with yours, a smile tugging on his lips; you could feel the spark that you both shared.

"Barry, we shouldn't be seen together." You mumbled, reaching over for the drink. You saw Barry shift his weight, but you stop before he could speak, "Iris came over: worried about you. I don't particularly appreciate lying to her, Bear. It would help if you fixed this with her. That's final."

In a blink of an eye, Barry had used his powers on you again. The room reminded you of an insane asylum. White covered every inch of the space. "It's Thawne's hideout," Barry explained.

"That makes sense," You joked, "Only a psycho would have a place like this." You looked around, seeing a stand against the wall, "Is it safe to talk in here?'

"It is," Barry confirmed. He walked over to the stand, hovering his hand over to reveal an artificial face. Barry saw you stiffen up, reaching out a hand towards you, "It's alright. This is Gideon. I created her in the future, and Thawne was using her while he was stuck here."

"Hello, Mr. Allen," The AI spoke, "Hello, Ms. Y/L/N." Your face didn't move. It was still showing the same puzzle expression.

"Gideon, can you pull up the article?" Barry requestion. Gideon pulled up the article that had you all worried.

THE FLASH VANISHES

"Barry, why do I need to see this?" You complained, "We are doing our best to find a way to avoid the crisis." Barry walked over to you, standing behind you. He placed his hands on your shoulder, turning you to face the article. He lowers his head to be close to your ear, trying to have you focus. Focusing: that was the last thing on your mind.

"Look who wrote the article," Barry whispered. You looked up at the name. Gideon zoomed in for you to make no mistake.

"Iris West?" You barely got out. You shook your head, pulling yourself from Barry. You turned to face him, crossing your arms, still in disbelief. "So, what does this mean?"

"That article used to say Iris West-Allen," Barry pointed out. He took steps closer to you while you did nothing to step away. Barry cups your face, rubbing his thumbs along your cheek, "It's now just West. Don't you see Y/N? We get to be together.

"The timeline is changing, just like Thawne explained. We can't stop the way that we feel. We can have a life together." Barry smiled.

"I don't know, Bear. I don't want to start a relationship based on what we did. Based on a lie." You confessed.

"Let me handle it then," Barry assured, "I will tell Iris everything. I will make sure that everything falls on me and that you can still have a friendship in the end." Barry kissed you. A soft and gentle kiss, telling you that everything was going to be okay. You stared at Barry, about to interject. Yet, a familiar flash came into view.

You gripped onto Barry's arm, seeing Nora at the other end of the room. Her eyes flashed red; she was panting, having red lighting come out of every part of her body. You should see the anger flowing through her. You turned Barry around, having him stare at his daughter. Barry reached out behind him, grabbing onto you.

"Nora, I need you to calm down," Barry instructed, stretching a hand out toward his daughter, motioning her to stop in her steps. Barry knew what was happening with Nora. She returned to the present using the negative speed force, rejecting everything he instructed her not to do.

"She's ruining our family," Nora yelled, causing you to wince. Nora looked at her father; disappointment came across her face. "Are we not enough? Was I not what you wanted?" Nora's voice cracked, causing you to have tears form.

"Nora, I didn't mean for it to happen," You plead. Your voice also cracked, feeling the heavy amount of guilt you had with Iris, just growing when Nora had to be the one to find out. You didn't mean for this to happen. You never meant for any of this to happen.

"She has to go, Dad," Nora ordered. She took a step closer, balling her fists, ready to take flight.

"Nora, we can talk about this." Barry tried to calm her. You felt the wind go through your hair. You thought it was Barry thinking quick on his feet, but he could only run for so long until Nora caught up. When you stopped, the figure placed you to your feet, helping you stand.

You quickly spun around, making sure Nora wasn't anywhere near you. "Don't worry. You're safe." The voice answered. You turned to see a young man in front of you, wearing a purple and white suit. "I'll always make sure you're safe." He had appeared to be in his 20s, wearing his hair like a certain Speedster.

"Barry?" You let out softly, confused at what you were seeing.

The young man laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. He showed certain traits on how nervous he was before you: his hands were restless, flicking his fingers at the tip, rubbing his mouth, and biting at the end of his thumb. "You always tell me how much I look like him," He told you. You didn't know what to say; no words were coming out of your mouth. You looked around you, seeing that nothing looked familiar, "You don't know where we are?" He asked you. You slowly look over at him, shaking your head softly.

The young man rubbed his chin, muttering to himself, "Maybe it will happen later." That is what you were able to catch.

"I'm sorry, what?" You rebutted, "Who are you? Where am I?"

"Don't worry! You're still in Central City!" He assured you. You waved your hands as a disagreement.

"That's the last thing I am worried about, as I have an absolute stranger pick me up and take me away from my friends!" You yelled.

The boy placed his hands on his hip, and that instant: you knew where the dots connected.

Your phone rang; seeing it was Barry on the other line, you picked it up, "Y/N! Thank God you're okay!" Barry's voice sent a wave of safety through you. "Where did you go? Who took you?" You closed your eyes, focusing on Barry's voice, taking in deep breaths.

You looked over at the boy, seeing his ears perk. He stared at you, waving his finger at you, "Is that—is that really—" The kid couldn't finish a sentence. His excitement had taken over him.

"We got Nora into the Pipeline. We were able to knock her out with some anesthesia." Barry informed you, "You can come back if the speedster lets you."

You glanced over at the boy, "I don't think he's bad, Bear." You assured him, "I think—I think we know him from the future." You hung up the phone, walking your way over to the eager boy. "Do you think you could take me back to STAR Labs?" You questioned him.

"You serious?" He said. His voice showed the excitement he held, in a flash, taking you back to your previous location.

Your hair was a mess, standing in front of your friends: back in the control room of STAR Labs. Barry didn't think; he went over to you, pulling you into a loving embrace. You lightly tapped Barry's back, whispering to him so that only he could hear, "I'm okay."

Barry pulled himself away, turning to the boy. His face mimicked yours. He scrunched his brows, confused at the sight before him, "Why does he look so much like—"

"You." Cisco finished. Cisco walked over, taking a good look at the boy. He walked around him, examining his outfit and facial features. Cisco placed a hand under his chin, "The resemblance is uncanny."

"A little bit too uncanny," Ralph grumbled, looking over to your direction. You felt your stomach drop as you knew Ralph would quickly catch on to what you figured out.

"Are you here because of your sister?" Caitlyn mentioned, grabbing the boy's attention from you and Barry. He looked a bit confused and shook his head.

"No, Dawn doesn't know that I'm here. If she did, she would have my head," He joked. His smile grew wide, showing more of the Allen gene running through him.

"Dawn?" Caitlyn caught, tilting her head at the thought. "Don't you mean Nora?"

The boy shook his head again, "I think I would know the name of my sister."

You saw Ralph make his way over to you, pulling you to the side, "You need to take that kid away." He ordered you. You continued to stare at Ralph, your sight going over to the kid once and a while, "They may not see it, but it's only a matter of time until they catch on."

The boy wipes his hands on his pants, trying to straighten himself out. The smile he wore was the same smile Barry had. "Where are my manners. My parents did teach them to me," He chuckled, flashing his eyes over to Barry. "I'm Don Allen. I come from the future."

You and Ralph let out an annoyed sigh, quickly covering it up when the rest of the team looked at you. You make your way to Barry, tugging on his arm. Barry looks down at you, raising his eyebrows.

"Bear, we need to get this kid out of here. We need to speak to him alone." You informed him. It took Barry a while, realizing what was happening.

"Hey, Don," Barry spoke up, "How about we don't say anything about the future. We already have Nora in the Vault; we don't need any more future business involved." Don grew confused by Barry's remarks. He was able to read Barry's expression, understanding that nothing else needed to be said.

"Are you here to help us with Cicada? Like Nora was?" Cisco asked. Don looked over at the two of you, reading your worried expressions.

"Yes," Don said slowly; he turned to Cisco, pointing at him with a bit of a chuckle, "That is why I'm here. To help out with your bug problem. Me. Cicada. Yes." He was as awkward as Barry was; it wasn't helping.

Cisco let out a sigh of relief, having a smile on his face, "Great. The more help, the better. I'm close to the cure; we learned that Cicada's powers don't affect Killer Frost. I hope that enough recap for you because we can't waste any more time with this. We are a woman down, so we need all hands on deck!" Cisco clapped, getting everyone's attention. It was a signal to look busy.

Cisco left the room with Caitlyn to continue their efforts in completing the cure. Ralph followed behind. When Ralph was almost out of the room, you could see him mouth you some words: "Fix this!"

Barry waited a few moments, placing his hand along your lower back to guide you out of the control room. Don caught up, but the moment he tried to say anything, Barry placed an index finger to his lips to silence the kid. Barry put his hand on the wall, opening up a door to go back into Thawne's room.

"What are you doing here, Don?" Barry demanded the moment the wall sealed up. Don rubbed his hands, looking at his angry father. His mouth twitched, from going into a frown to just a thin line. "Don, you can tell me."

Don was pacing the room, "I don't understand," Don muttered, looking over his shoulder where the door was. He pointed towards the door, "They don't know?" Don asked both of you. You looked up at Barry, who had the same action, looking back at you. Don went over to you, grabbing your left hand to examine it.

"You're not married?" Don questioned you. You shook your head. Don ran his hands through his hair, getting more and more restless. "This can't be happening," He grunted. He turned to Barry, pointing his finger at the Red Speedster, "Why aren't you married to her?"

"Because he's married to Iris," You informed Don. Don looked over at you, the look of disappointment he had shown. "They've been married for a few years now. We're just friends." You felt Barry's hand resting on your side, his grip tightening. You took a moment, knowing what Don was going to say.

"Mom, you can't be serious," Don finally told you. The moment you knew the truth, you felt your breath leave your body. You felt faint, but with Barry holding onto you, you were able to stand. "You and dad need to be together! My being, Dawn's being, everything is disappearing in the future. You two not being together is destroying the future!"

You turned to look up at Barry. Barry looked at you, still calm over the revelation. Barry had to decide which future he wanted to have and had to choose which one had to go; the very thought made you sick to your stomach.

Tagged: @randomfanders-blog​ @ibe-anne @my-soul-is-the-moon

Permanent Tagged: @sxturn-stars

Some of the tags aren’t working and I’m sorry 😢

[keanureevesisbae]

But professor… - c.8

Summary: Walter and Penny adapt to Maryland

Professor!Walter Marshall x Penny Townsend (Asian ofc)

Wordcount: 2.1k

Warnings: None

Masterlist // But professor… masterlist // Previous chapter //

Tomorrow Walter and I are going to move to Maryland and there is just one more thing I need to do: buy some snacks. My cravings have been all over the place recently, so a trip without snack is asking for trouble. Walter is packing the final things with my mom and dad and in a minute they are going to put everything in the truck and U-haul. Since I’m the only one that knows what I really want, I decided to go on a little grocery store trip.

I’m wearing an oversized sweater on top of my leggings and it’s almost the only piece of clothing that is able to hide the bump. I’m seventeen weeks pregnant now, meaning the bump is harder and harder to hide, however this sweater will do. The chances of me running into someone I actually know is next to zero, but better be safe than sorry.

I walk into the grocery store and grab a basket, slowly filling it with what I want. ‘There she is,’ I hear a voice say, one I haven’t heard in so long and certainly haven’t missed.

Fitzgerald.

Every hair in my neck stands up straight. I simply pull my lips into an awkward smile, before walking off to the register. As I’m scanning the products, he actually follows me and I hate how this guy never understands the message, spoken or unspoken.

‘So, you haven’t been coming to classes,’ he says.

‘I know,’ I say, ‘I quit. Been looking into some other things.’

That is already more than I actually wanted to share with him, but hopefully it’s enough to make him go away.

‘Oh really? What you been looking into?’

Just fuck off, Fitzgerald. ‘First of all moving back home,’ I say, packing everything in my bag. ‘New York never really was the place for me.’ After paying for my snacks, I walk out of the store, only to hear the footsteps of the guy who just won’t leave me alone following behind me.

‘Did you hear that professor Marshall is quitting?’

Yes, I actually helped him writing his resignation letter. ‘Oh,’ I say, ‘I didn’t.’

‘Apparently he got a job offer somewhere else.’

Yep, in Maryland. ‘Good for him,’ I say. ‘Well, I gotta go. Bye, Fitzgerald.’

He wants to say something, but then his eyes widen. ‘Yeah, bye,’ he says. He quickly turns around and is gone by the time I looked over my shoulder at him.

What was that about?

When I look up, I glare at Walter, who is standing on the other side of the road, leaning against a street light, his arms crossed. I walk up to him and without saying a word at first, we get mixed into the crowd. ‘What was that about?’ I ask him.

‘Nothing,’ he says, a little too nonchalant for my liking, ‘just wanted to make sure that you weren’t carrying anything too heavy.’ He pulls the bags from my hands and adds: ‘I hate that snotty kid.’

‘I had everything under control,’ I say, poking his side. ‘Did you see him scooting away?’

‘I wish I had it on video,’ Walter chuckles.

My parents are already in the U-haul they rented to make moving as quickly and easy as possible for us and I hand them some snacks.

‘Oh, honey, I’m so glad you’re moving back,’ mom says, after our final pee. Walter just handed over the key to the realtor of his loft and stands behind me, before he says: ‘I know I am happy to move to Maryland. I quite love the place already.’ He presses a kiss on my temple.

My parents get in the U-haul and I wave to them as they drive off. Walter helps me in the truck and when he sits next to me, he gives me a kiss. ‘I love you,’ he tells me.

‘I love you too, Walter.’ I take off my sweater, before strapping myself in the seatbelt. ‘It’s ridiculously hot in here,’ I say, leaning back against the seat.

‘Twenty bucks you are gonna be cold within half an hour.’

I glare at him. ‘That’s mean.’

‘Ah, princess, don’t pout. You know how that makes me weak.’ I continue to tut my bottom lip out and he chuckles. ‘Let’s just hope the baby doesn’t get your pout, because otherwise I can never say no.’

‘No matter what the baby looks like,’ I say, ‘you’re gonna be unable to say no anyway. You are such a push over with me, this baby will wrap you around their finger in no time.’

‘Ai, exposed.’ He holds my hand in his as he drives off and gives me a kiss on my knuckles.

‘You thought about the co sleeping thing I mentioned to you?’ I ask him.

He sighs. ‘Yes and I’m not sure about it. I mean, we could place a crib in our room, right?’

‘But that’s so sad for the baby. To be alone like that after living inside my stomach for so long. What if they don’t be to be alone? They are not gonna sleep in our bed forever, Walter.’

‘I know,’ he says, ‘but… what if I crush them? I mean, they would be in between us, so… That means no sleep for me.’

I start to laugh. ‘That was your worry? Oh, Walter.’ Since I’m already close to him, I wrap my arms around his neck to give him a kiss on his cheek. ‘Aren’t you absolutely darling?’

I actually spot a faint blush on his cheeks.

I decide not to push it any further, because I feel like this co sleep thing is something that needs to simmer for awhile. ‘Can I ask a question?’ I ask.

He nods. ‘Of course.’

‘What if something goes wrong,’ I start, but he is having none of it.

‘No, no, no, nothing is gonna go wrong.’

‘But what if?’ I say. ‘I mean, something could go wrong during birth.’

He clenches his jaw, not wanting to talk about it obviously. ‘I see,’ he mumbles.

‘What I wanted to say was that if I am unable to answer, that you should decide what happens, okay? I’m one hundred percent sure you are going to choose the right thing for us.’

He smiles. ‘That’s what you wanted to tell me?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Oh, princess, princess, don’t scare me like that, okay?’

I smile. ‘Sorry.’

✎ ✎ ✎

Walter and I bought a house and never in a million years did I expect to have this type of domestic life at only twenty one, however it’s exactly the life I have now and I wouldn’t change it for the world. The move from New York and Maryland went pretty swiftly, especially because my parents helped a lot, since it’s only twenty minutes from my parents’ place.

The place we chose was already pretty great, but Walter and I decided—okay, I decided—that some wallpaper should cheer it up. It was a lot of white and it made me feel like I was at a dentist. There’s lots of pastel going on now, mint green, baby blue, soft pink and some yellow.

However, Walter did all the work, because he doesn’t want me to do anything. Too much work can’t be good for the baby, princess.

He now works at the Maryland Police Department and he is actually enjoying it a lot. He now is on patrol duties, but it will only take a few months before he is back as a detective again.

Weeks have gone by and today marks me being twenty seven weeks pregnant. I won’t lie about it, but I’m very over this pregnancy already. Everything hurts. My head hurts, my stomach hurts, my boobs hurts and don’t get me started on my back. I’m mostly sitting on the couch, reading both informative books and novels if I’m not mindlessly watching Netflix shows.

I am a horrendous cook, but I continue to try some things for Walter, because I hate it that he has to both work and cook himself some dinner when he’s off.

Walter comes back from work and smiles when he sees me. ‘There is my beautiful woman,’ he says. ‘Princess, princess, aren’t you gorgeous.’

‘Stop,’ I chuckle, trying to get up from the couch, but fail miserably. ‘I’m sorry, but dinner got burned.’

He smiles. ‘That’s okay, princess. I’ll order some take out, don’t you worry.’

‘I’m really useless,’ I admit. ‘I’m so sorry.’

He scoffs. ‘Don’t say stuff like that. You’re never useless.’ He wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me against his side. ‘Tell me what did you do today?’

‘I went to that meeting,’ I say, ‘talked about being a first time mom. It’s just that…’ I place my head against his shoulder. ‘I’m scared.’

‘Why is that, princess?’

‘What if I’m a terrible mom?’

‘You’re not gonna be a terrible mom,’ he retorts. ‘The audacity to think you’re gonna be a terrible mom, when I know that you are nothing but sweet, kind, lovely and you will be a wonderful mom.’

‘Really?’ I ask.

‘Really, darling.’ He places his hand on my stomach and says: ‘It’s okay to be scared, however, you have nothing to worry about. Not when I am right here for the two of you.’

✎ ✎ ✎

The next day, while my mom and I are folding some baby clothes, we watch dad and Walter finish the crib. Mom has been sharing embarrassing baby stories about me and to make things even worse, my dad adds a few stories to it, some I didn’t even know.

Thankfully Walter really enjoys them, because he chuckles loudly. It took him awhile, but he is really liking it, having my parents around.

‘You really don’t want to know the gender?’ mom asks me.

‘No,’ I say, ‘I like to be surprised.’

‘Walter,’ my mom sighs, ‘can’t you talk some sense into her?’

‘Sorry, CC,’ he says, ‘but I kinda like the surprise too.’

She scoffs, before she lets out a chuckle. The baby already made the bond between my parents and I a lot tighter and for that I’m forever grateful.

I resit a little and Walter wouldn’t be Walter if he didn’t notice immediately I was slightly uncomfortable. ‘Princess, are you okay?’

‘Yeah, just my back hurts.’

‘How about you go to bed?’ Walter suggests. ‘Rest a little? You’ve been up pretty early on.’ When I don’t stand up immediately, he walks over to me and crouches down in front of me. ‘What’s wrong, princess?’

‘Nothing, just tired and in pain, that’s all.’

He nods, pulls me up and holds my hand tightly in his. I want to apologize to my parents, but my mom simply tells me not to worry. ‘Pregnancy can be rough, darling,’ she says, ‘so please don’t worry.’

I wonder if it’s hard for my mom to see me pregnant, when she couldn’t get pregnant herself. She never said it to me, but still I wonder from time to time. Even if she does have some hard feelings against it, she never shows it, as she is super supportive of the pregnancy. I give her a kiss, just like I give my dad a kiss and mom says: ‘Walter, did you even sleep last night?’

‘No, this one woke me up,’ he says with a smile.

‘You should sleep as well. You had a late shift the day before yesterday and you two should get a lot of sleep when you can. When the baby is here, she’ll keep you up.’

‘We really don’t know the gender, mom,’ I say with a chuckle. ‘I don’t know if they are gonna be a he or a she.’

‘Worth a shot, you gotta give me that. Okay, you go rest, we finish up in here and let ourselves out. We love you.’

‘Love you too,’ I say back, before Walter and I walk towards the bedroom. He helps me out of my sweatpants and into the bed. I hug the pregnancy pillow, and the bed dips down a bit when Walter gets underneath the thin blanket behind me. He places his hand on my stomach, before kissing my temple. ‘You comfortable, sweetheart?’

‘I am,’ I whisper. ‘I’m sorry I’m keeping you up.’

‘No, don’t do that.’

It only causes me to sniffle, but Walter knows exactly what to do when I have these slight emotional outbursts. He pulls my back closer against his chest, despite him being very warm, he tugs the blankets over our bodies and warms me up even more, giving me more kisses on the side of my face. ‘It can get pretty rough, princess,’ he says, ‘and that’s okay. Just let it all out, okay?’

‘Why are you so sweet?’ I hiccup.

He chuckles. ‘Well, you’re gonna be the mom of our kid and you’re my girlfriend. Of course I’m gonna be sweet to you. Forever and ever, princess. Forever and ever.’

[krafterwrites]

Okay, the Jerma Fortnite story is finally over after I made three accounts and used two different browsers so I could generate enough inputs to get a satisfying ending. It’s honestly really cool and epic for an AI creation in places, and really funny in other places. Anyways, the full story is right below the cut, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed making it (Content warning for suicide, it’s only briefly mentioned in a non-serious way, but I figured it would still be a good idea to give a warning. Also warning for occasional graphic descriptions of violence)

It was a dark and stormy night, and Jerma985 was all alone in his house playing Fortnite. He had been playing for hours, and was just about to win the game when suddenly the power went out. Jerma985 was in the dark, and the only thing he could hear was the sound of the rain and thunder outside. He was getting scared, and he started to feel like someone was watching him. Suddenly, he heard a voice in his head that said "You will never win the game." Jerma985 started to freak out, and he ran out of the house and into the street. He didn't know what was going on, but he knew he had to find some help. He ran to the nearest house and knocked on the door, but there was no answer. He was about to give up when he heard a voice from inside the house say "Come in, Jerma985." He slowly opened the door and walked inside. He saw a figure sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, and it was pointing at a TV. On the TV, Jerma985 saw himself still playing Fortnite. The figure said "You can't win the game, Jerma985. You're not good enough." Jerma985 was so scared that he ran out of the house and never looked back. The End? "I'm sorry, I don't have any more time," said Dr. McNinja. "That's okay. I understand," said Jerma985. Dr. McNinja nodded. "It's alright, Jerma985. We'll talk again soon." Jerma985 turned off the screen and stood up. "Thank you for seeing me today, Doctor." "Anytime," said Dr. McNinja. "Just call my office if you need anything." "Will do," said Jerma985. "Goodbye." He stepped out of the room and headed home. As he walked down the hall, he passed by a mirror. He stopped in front of it and stared at his reflection. His hair was messy, his clothes were wrinkled, and he looked tired. He thought about how much better he would look with a little makeup and a new outfit. Maybe even a haircut. But then he realized that this was who he was. This was the real him, and he liked the way he looked. He smiled at himself in the mirror and said "See ya later." Then he continued walking towards his bedroom. *** It was a dark and stormy night, and Jerma985 was all alone in his house playing Fortnite. He had been playing for hours, and was just about to win the game when suddenly the power went out. Jerma985 was in the dark, and the only thing he could hear was the sound of the rain and thunder outside. He was getting scared, and he started to feel like someone was watching him. Suddenly, he heard a voice in his head that said "You will never win the game." Jerma985 started to freak out, and he ran out of the house and into the street. He didn't know what was going on, but he knew he had to find some help. He ran to the nearest house and knocked on the door, but there was no answer. He was about to give up when he heard a voice from inside the house say "Come in, Jerma985." He slowly opened the door and walked inside. He saw a figure sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, and it was pointing at a TV. On the TV, Jerma985 saw himself still playing Fortnite. The figure said "You can't win the game, Jerma985. You're not good enough." Jerma985 was so scared that he ran out of the house and never looked back. The End? "No!" shouted Jerma985. "I won't let you win! I'm gonna get stronger, and I'm gonna beat you one day!" "Don't be ridiculous," said the voice in his head. "You're weak. Weak people always lose." "Yeah?" said Jerma985. "Then why am I winning right now?" "Because you're using cheats," said the voice. "You're cheating, and that makes you stupid. Stupid people are always losers." "Oh yeah?" said Jerma985. "Well, how come you're not losing?" "Because I'm smart," said the voice. "Smart people don't cheat." "And what does that make me?" asked Jerma985. "A loser?" "Yes," said the voice. "You're a loser." Jerma985 shook his head and tried to push the voice out of his mind. It wasn't easy, but he managed to focus on the game. He had to win this battle royale or else he'd lose everything. So he kept playing and playing until finally, he made it to the last person standing. He was the winner. He was the champion. He was the best. And he was going to prove that he was the best by beating the voice in his head. *** It was a dark and stormy night, and Jerma985 was all alone in his house playing Fortnite. He had been playing for hours, and was just about to win the game when suddenly the power went out. Jerma985 was in the dark, and the only thing he could hear was the sound of the rain and thunder outside. He was getting scared, and he started to feel like someone was watching him. Suddenly, he heard a voice in his head that said "You will never win the game." Jerma985 started to freak out, and he ran out of the house and into the street. He didn't know what was going on, but he knew he had to find some help. He ran to the nearest house and knocked on the door, but there was no answer. He was about to give up when he heard a voice from inside the house say "Come in, Jerma985." He slowly opened the door and walked inside. He saw a figure sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, and it was pointing at a TV. On the TV, Jerma985 saw himself still playing Fortnite. The figure said "You can't win the game, Jerma985. You're not good enough." Jerma985 was so scared that he ran out of the house and never looked back. The End? "You're such an idiot, Jerma985," said the voice in his head. "You think you can win against me just because you cheated?" "No," said Jerma985. "I won because I'm better than you." "Oh really?" said the voice. "What makes you so special?" "Because I'm strong," said Jerma985. "Stronger than you. Stronger than anyone." "Really?" said the voice. "Do you know what happens to the strongest person in the world?" "They die," said Jerma985. "They're killed by the weakest." "Exactly," said the voice. "So, how do you plan to defeat me?" "I'm going to kill myself," said Jerma985. "Then I'll be stronger than ever before." "But that's impossible," said the voice. "You can't kill yourself. That's not possible." "Yeah, well, I'm going to prove it is," said Jerma985. "I'm going to do it tonight, and tomorrow morning I'm going to wake up as the strongest person in the world." "You're crazy," said the voice. "You're so stupid. Why would you want to die? What's wrong with you?" "Nothing," said Jerma985. "I just want to be the strongest in the world." "Why?" asked the voice. "What makes you so special?" "I'm the strongest," said Jerma985. "I'm the best." "Bullshit," said the voice. "There are a million other people out there who are better than you. They're smarter, they're faster, and they're stronger. If you want to be the strongest in the world, then go ahead and try to kill yourself. Go ahead and try to cheat your way through life. Just don't expect me to help you." "Fine," said Jerma985. "If you won't help me, then I guess I'll just have to do it myself." "Yeah, that's probably the smartest thing to do," said the voice. "I mean, why should I waste my time helping you when you're obviously a loser?" "Thanks," said Jerma985. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to finish this game." "Sure," said the voice. "Whatever you say." *** It was a dark and stormy night, and Jerma985 was all alone in his house playing Fortnite. He had been playing for hours, and was just about to win the game when suddenly the power went out. Jerma985 was in the dark, and the only thing he could hear was the sound of the rain and thunder outside. He was getting scared, and he started to feel like someone was watching him. Suddenly, he heard a voice in his head that said "You will never win the game." Jerma985 started to freak out, and he ran out of the house and into the street. He didn't know what was going on, but he knew he had to find some help. He ran to the nearest house and knocked on the door, but there was no answer. He was about to give up when he heard a voice from inside the house say "Come in, Jerma985." He slowly opened the door and walked inside. He saw a figure sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, and it was pointing at a TV. On the TV, Jerma985 saw himself still playing Fortnite. The figure said "You can't win the game, Jerma985. You're not good enough." Jerma985 was so scared that he ran out of the house and never looked back.

The End? "Are you ready?" asked the voice. "Yeah," said Jerma985. "I'm ready." "Okay," said the voice. "Here we go." Jerma985 felt something cold and hard pressed against his forehead. Then he heard a loud pop, and he saw stars. *** It was a dark and stormy night, and Jerma985 was all alone in his house playing Fortnite. He had been playing for hours, and was just about to win the game when suddenly the power went out. Jerma985 was in the dark, and the only thing he could hear was the sound of the rain and thunder outside. He was getting scared, and he started to feel like someone was watching him. Suddenly, he heard a voice in his head that said "You will never win the game." Jerma985 started to freak out, and he ran out of the house and into the street. He didn't know what was going on, but he knew he had to find some help. He ran to the nearest house and knocked on the door, but there was no answer. He was about to give up when he heard a voice from inside the house say "Come in, Jerma985." He slowly opened the door and walked inside. He saw a figure sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, and it was pointing at a TV. On the TV, Jerma985 saw himself still playing Fortnite. The figure said "You can't win the game, Jerma985. You're not good enough." Jerma985 was so scared that he ran out of the house and never looked back. The End? "You're not dead yet," said the voice. "That means you're not the strongest in the world." "How did you know?" asked Jerma985. "How did you know I was going to cheat my way through life?" "Because I'm smarter than you," said the voice. "I'm more powerful than you. I can see everything." "So, what are you saying?" asked Jerma985. "Are you telling me that I'm not the strongest person in the world after all?" "Of course not," said the voice. "You're still alive. That proves you're not the strongest." "Then who is?" asked Jerma985. "Me," said the voice. "You're nothing compared to me." "But I cheated my way through life," said Jerma985. "I cheated and lied and stole and hurt people. I used people to get what I wanted. I'm worse than any of them. I'm the worst of the worst." "Yeah, well, that's true," said the voice. "But that doesn't change anything. You're still not the strongest in the world." "Why not?" asked Jerma985. "How am I supposed to beat you if I'm not the strongest?" "You'll never beat me," said the voice. "You'll never win. You'll always lose." "Then why even play the game?" asked Jerma985. "Why bother trying to win?" "Because it's fun," said the voice. "Winning isn't everything. Sometimes, it's just as important to have fun." "Fun?" said Jerma985. "I don't need fun. I need to win." "Then quit playing the game," said the voice. "Quit playing the game, and stop being a loser." "But I'm not a loser," said Jerma985. "I won the game!" "Yes, you did," said the voice. "And that's great. But you cheated your way through the game. You played dirty, and you were lucky. If you want to be the best, then you have to do things the right way. You have to work hard and you have to play fair. Otherwise, you'll never win." "That's ridiculous," said Jerma985. "Who cares about winning? All I care about is being the best. Winning is a bonus." "That's not how it works," said the voice. "If you want to be the best, then you have to do it the right way. You have to work hard and play fair." "But I've already won," said Jerma985. "I won the game. So, what else do I have to do?" "Win again," said the voice. "Win another game, and you'll be the strongest person in the world." "How?" asked Jerma985. "I can't win again. I don't have another game left in me." "You do," said the voice. "You just haven't realized it yet." *** It was a dark and stormy night, and Jerma985 was all alone in his house playing Fortnite. He had been playing for hours, and was just about to win the game when suddenly the power went out. Jerma985 was in the dark, and the only thing he could hear was the sound of the rain and thunder outside. He was getting scared, and he started to feel like someone was watching him. Suddenly, he heard a voice in his head that said "You will never win the game." Jerma985 started to freak out, and he ran out of the house and into the street. He didn't know what was going on, but he knew he had to find some help. He ran to the nearest house and knocked on the door, but there was no answer. He was about to give up when he heard a voice from inside the house say "Come in, Jerma985." He slowly opened the door and walked inside. He saw a figure sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, and it was pointing at a TV. On the TV, Jerma985 saw himself still playing Fortnite. The figure said "You can't win the game, Jerma985. You're not good enough." Jerma985 was so scared that he ran out of the house and never looked back. The End? "That's bullshit," said Jerma985. "I'm the strongest person in the world. I'm better than everyone else." "Really?" asked the voice. "Well, let's test that theory. Let's play a game of chess." "A game of chess?" said Jerma985. "What does that have to do with anything? Chess is a stupid game anyway." "Yeah, well, you're wrong," said the voice. "Chess is a very interesting game. It's complicated and difficult, and it takes a lot of skill to play it properly." "Yeah, sure," said Jerma985. "It's a dumb game. I've beaten you a thousand times before, and I'll beat you a thousand more." "Not this time," said the voice. "This time, I'm going to cheat." "No way," said Jerma985. "I'm not letting you cheat." "Fine," said the voice. "Then we'll play a different game. We'll play rock-paper-scissors." "What?" said Jerma985. "That's just a silly game. There's no way you can win." "Oh, really?" said the voice. "Let's find out." "Fine," said Jerma985. "We'll play rock-paper-scissors." "Good," said the voice. "Now, I'm going to cheat." "You can't cheat," said Jerma985. "I'm the strongest person in the world." "Maybe," said the voice. "But I'm the smartest, too." *** It was a dark and stormy night, and Jerma985 was all alone in his house playing Fortnite. He had been playing for hours, and was just about to win the game when suddenly the power went out. Jerma985 was in the dark, and the only thing he could hear was the sound of the rain and thunder outside. He was getting scared, and he started to feel like someone was watching him. Suddenly, he heard a voice in his head that said "You will never win the game." Jerma985 started to freak out, and he ran out of the house and into the street. He didn't know what was going on, but he knew he had to find some help. He ran to the nearest house and knocked on the door, but there was no answer. He was about to give up when he heard a voice from inside the house say "Come in, Jerma985." He slowly opened the door and walked inside. He saw a figure sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, and it was pointing at a TV. On the TV, Jerma985 saw himself still playing Fortnite. The figure said "You can't win the game, Jerma985. You're not good enough." Jerma985 was so scared that he ran out of the house and never looked back. The End? "I choose scissors," said Jerma985 "And I choose paper," said the voice. "Rock?" asked Jerma985. "And I choose rock," said the voice. "Paper?" asked Jerma985. "And I choose paper," said the voice. "Scissors?" asked Jerma985. "And I choose scissor," said the voice. "Rock?" asked Jerma985. "And I choose rock," said the voice. "Paper?" asked Jerma985. "And I choose paper," said the voice. "Scissors?" asked Jerma985. "And I choose scissor," said the voice. "Rock?" asked Jerma985. "And I choose rock," said the voice. "Paper?" asked Jerma985. "Alright, this is stupid. I'm done playing rock paper scissors, I'm going to fight you to the death now," said Jerma985. "By killing you, I'll prove that I really am the strongest person in the world" "I accept your challenge," said the voice. "Good," said Jerma985. "Let's start fighting." "Okay," said the voice. "First, I want you to show me how strong you are by doing ten pushups." "I don't have to do any pushups," said Jerma985. "I'm stronger than you." "Okay," said the voice. "Then I want you to do twenty pushups." "No way," said Jerma985. "I'm stronger than you." "Okay," said the voice. "Then I want you to do thirty pushups." "No way," said Jerma985. "I'm stronger than you." "Okay," said the voice. "Then I want you to do forty pushups." "No way," said Jerma985. "I'm stronger than you." "Okay," said the voice. "Then I want you to do fifty pushups." "No way," said Jerma985. "I'm stronger than you." "Okay," said the voice. "Then I want you to do sixty pushups." "No way," said Jerma985. "I'm stronger than you." "Okay," said the voice. "Then I want you to do seventy pushups." "I'm not doing any pushups!" said Jerma985. "I'm going to kill you, and I'm going to do it right now" "Fine," said the voice. "Do whatever you want. I don't care. Just keep doing pushups until you die." "That's not fair," said Jerma985. "I don't have to do any pushups." "So, what?" said the voice. "You think you're so much better than me that you don't have to do any pushups? Well, guess what? I don't have to do any pushups either! So, why should I have to do them? Why shouldn't I cheat? After all, you cheated by choosing scissors over rock, and that's cheating. You were supposed to choose rock, so you lost. Now, I'm going to cheat too, and I'm going to win." "Fine," said Jerma985. "Whatever. Just go ahead and cheat. But if you win, then I'm going to kill you. I'll make you eat your own organs, and I'll do it right here in front of everybody." "Okay," said the voice. "Here's what we're going to do. First, I'm going to cheat by doing three pushups." "Three pushups?" said Jerma985. "You're cheating already? That's even worse than what I was thinking. You're just a horrible person." "Yes," said the voice. "I am. And I'm also going to cheat by doing two pushups." "Two pushups?" said Jerma985. "That's even worse than one pushup. What kind of person cheats by doing two pushups? You're just a horrible person." "I'm going to cheat again," said the voice. "This time, I'm going to cheat by doing zero pushups." "Zero pushups?" said Jerma985. "You're just a horrible person." "You're the horrible person," said the voice. "I'm just doing what you asked me to do. You wanted me to cheat, so now I'm cheating. I'm cheating because you're such a horrible person." "I'm not a horrible person," said Jerma985. "I'm the strongest person in the world." "No you're not," said the voice. "You're just a weak little boy who doesn't know anything about life." "I'm not a weak little boy," said Jerma985. "I'm a man, and since you're such a horrible cheater, I'm a man who's going to kill you!" "Alright," said the voice. "Let's get this over with. Here goes nothing." Suddenly, a bright light appeared in the sky, and it started to shine down on Jerma985. The light was so bright that he couldn't see anything anymore. All he could hear was the sound of the rain and thunder outside, and he felt like something was watching him. Suddenly, the voice came back in his head and said "I win." Jerma985 woke up from his nightmare, and he realized that it wasn't a dream at all. It was real, and he was actually in the middle of a terrible storm. He got out of bed, and tried to open the window, but it wouldn't budge. He tried to turn on the lights, but they weren't working either. Then, he heard a loud noise coming from downstairs. He ran down the stairs and saw a huge hole in the floor where the basement used to be. He looked around, and he found a piece of paper on the ground. On the paper was written: YOU WILL NEVER WIN THE GAME. YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH. "Who wrote that?" asked Jerma985. He looked around, and he saw a big book lying on the floor. He picked it up, and he saw that it was called "The Book of Knowledge". He opened the book, and he read the first page. The words on the page said: I AM THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD. I AM A DEMON THAT LIVES INSIDE OF YOU. I HAVE BEEN WITH YOU FOR YEARS, AND NOW IT IS TIME TO TEACH YOU SOMETHING. Jerma985 was shocked. This was exactly what he had been dreaming about. The demon was telling him that it was going to teach him something. Jerma985 closed the book, and he sat down on the couch. He thought about everything that had happened, and he realized that it was all true. The demon had been with him for years, and it had always been there, whispering in his ear. It had told him that he would never win the game, and it had told him that he was weak. But it hadn't been wrong. He wasn't good enough to beat the demon. He had been trying to cheat by doing three pushups, and he had cheated by doing two pushups. But that wasn't enough. The demon was too smart for him, and it had beaten him every single time. He remembered the last thing the demon had said before it disappeared. It said "You're the horrible person." He had never believed that, but now he did. He knew that he was the horrible person. He was the one who was always cheating, and he was the one who had been talking to himself in his head. "I'm the horrible person," said Jerma985. "I'm the horrible person who is cheating. I'm the horrible person who is doing pushups. I'm the horrible person who is cheating by doing two pushups. I'm the horrible person who is cheating by doing zero pushups. I'm the horrible person who is cheating by doing nothing at all." He looked around the room, and he saw a knife on the table. He picked up the knife, and he held it in his hand. Then, he stood up, and he walked towards the demon. He put the knife against its throat, and he said "I'm the horrible person who is going to kill you." *** Jerma985 was standing in front of the demon, holding a knife. He was so scared that he didn't know what to do. He had never killed anybody before, but he knew that he had to do it. He had to kill the demon. If he didn't, then the demon would continue to talk to him, and he would never learn anything. "What are you waiting for?" asked the demon. "Kill me already! Do it! Kill me!" "Why should I kill you?" asked Jerma985. "After all, you've been cheating the whole time. You've been telling me that I'm not good enough, and you've been cheating me by making me do pushups. You're the horrible person, and I'm not. So, why shouldn't I cheat too?" "Because I'm the voice in your head," said the demon. "And you can't do anything without me. Without me, you'd be nothing." "But I'm not nothing," said Jerma985. "I'm the strongest person in the world. I'm the best person ever, and I'm going to prove it right now." He took the knife away from the demon's neck, and he threw it on the ground. Then, he grabbed the demon's hands, and he lifted them up high above his head. He held the demon's arms as tight as he could, and he said "I'm going to break your arms." The demon laughed at him. "You're not strong enough to do that," said the demon. "If you were really the strongest person in the world, then you would be able to break my arms. But you're not. You're the worst person ever, and you're just a weak little boy who doesn't know anything about life." "Shut up!" shouted Jerma985. "I'm the best person ever, and I'm going to prove it right now. I'm going to show you that I'm the best person ever, and I'm going to prove it by breaking your arms." He tightened his grip on the demon's arms, and he lifted them up even higher. Then, he looked down at the ground, and he saw a large rock on the ground. He picked up the rock, and he threw it at the demon's face. "Ouch!" screamed the demon. "That hurt!" Jerma985 let go of the demon's arms, and he looked down at the rock. He saw that it had hit the demon right between the eyes, and it had broken his nose. "That's it!" said the demon. "That's the end of our conversation. Now, you're going to die. And you're going to die because you're the horrible person who isn't good enough to beat me." "So we're going to fight to the death for real this time? No more fake outs? Nothing like that?" Asked Jerma985. "Is this really going to be the final battle where one of us dies?" The demon laughed at him. "Of course it's going to be the final battle," said the demon. "We've been fighting to the death for years, and we're finally going to finish it once and for all" "Fine," said Jerma985. "Then let's get started" He picked up another rock, and he threw it at the demon's head. The demon turned around, and he blocked the rock with his arm. Then, he grabbed the rock with his other hand, and he threw it back at Jerma985. "Oh no!" said Jerma985. "You're cheating again! I can't believe it! You're cheating by throwing rocks at me. That's even worse than cheating by doing pushups" "No I'm not," said the demon. "I'm just using whatever I have available to me" "You're still totally cheating by throwing rocks at me, but I'm the strongest person ever, so it doesn't even matter!" said Jerma985. "I'm still going to win!" Determined to win, Jerma charged towards the demon before he could pick up another rock, and slammed him into the nearby wall. The demon fell to the ground, and he started to scream in pain. Then, he got back up, and he pointed his finger at Jerma985. "Is that all you've got?" asked the demon. "Are you really that pathetic?" Jerma985 smiled. "No," he said. "I'm not that pathetic. I'm stronger than you will ever be." He picked up another rock, and he threw it at the demon. The demon dodged the rock, and he ran towards Jerma985. He grabbed him by the neck, and he started choking him. "Stop it!" screamed Jerma985. "You're hurting me! Stop it!" The demon tightened his grip, and he started to squeeze harder and harder. Then, suddenly, the demon stopped squeezing, and he released his grip on Jerma985. He looked down at his hands, and he saw that he had broken both of them. "You're not strong enough to beat me," said the demon. "I'm going to break your arms, and then I'm going to break your legs, and then I'm going to crush your skull. And then, I'm going to kill you." Jerma985 looked down at his broken arms, and he cried. He was so sad that he didn't know what to do. Then, he remembered what the demon had said about how he was going to kill him. He looked up at the demon, and he said "You're not going to kill me. Because I'm the strongest person ever, and I'm going to prove it right now." He picked up a rock, and he threw it at the demon's face. The demon was caught off guard, and was hit directly in the face again, drawing blood and knocking him to the floor. "That's it!" screamed the demon. "That's the end of our conversation! Now, you're going to die!" He grabbed a hammer from the toolbox, and he swung it at Jerma985's head. Jerma985 ducked, and the hammer hit the floor instead of hitting him. He picked up the hammer, and he threw it at the demon's head. "Ouch!" screamed the demon. "That hurts!" He grabbed the hammer with his other hand, and he tried to hit Jerma985 again. But before he could swing the hammer, Jerma985 picked up a heavy metal pole from the toolbox, and he threw it at the demon's head. "Ow!" screamed the demon. "That hurts!" Jerma985 picked up another heavy metal pole from the toolbox, and he threw it at the demon's head. The demon moved out of the way, and the pole hit the wall behind him instead. He picked up another heavy metal pole from the toolbox, and he threw it at the demon's head. "Ow!" screamed the demon. "That hurts!" The demon's head was now bleeding heavily, and his skull had began to crack. He could still fight though, so using all of his remaining power, he summoned a giant rock above himself. "You can't beat me!" screamed the demon. "I'm the strongest person ever! I'm going to kill you now!" Jerma985 ran towards the demon, and he picked up a rock from the ground. He threw it at the demon's head, and the rock hit him directly in the face. The rock broke his nose, and he fell to the ground in pain. Jerma985 picked up another rock, and he threw it at the demon's head. "You're not strong enough to beat me!" screamed the demon. "I'm going to kill you now!" Jerma985 picked up a third rock, and he threw it at the demon's head. The rock hit the demon right in the face, and it broke his nose again. The demon fell to the ground in pain, and he couldn't move anymore. "It's over!" said Jerma985. "I won! I'm the strongest person ever, and I'm going to prove it right now." He picked up a hammer from the toolbox, and he smashed the demon's head with it. The demon's head was crushed to bits, and he died instantly. "Well done!" said the demon. "You're the strongest person ever! You've proven that you're better than me!" *** The next day, Jerma985 woke up in his bed. He looked around the room, and he saw a note on the table. It read: Dear Jerma985, Congratulations! You are the strongest person ever! All your hard work has paid off. You've beaten the demon, and you've proved that you're the strongest person ever. You deserve to celebrate your victory, so please come to the dining hall at 8 o'clock tonight. We'll have a big party to celebrate your victory. Love, Your friends Jerma985 smiled. He was so happy that he didn't know what to do. He had never thought that he would be the strongest person ever, but he was. And he had proved it.

[lizamango]

Finding You (Bucky Barnes x Reader) 3/?

 A/N: Hey everyone, sorry this took so long!! This chapter was kinda hard to write, I felt like there wasn’t much that I could add but I did my best! I wanna get to Bucky as much as you all do! 😭😩

Summary: You’ve been one of SHIELD’s top spies for years but what happens when the organisation you’ve put your trust in crumbles and Captain America gives you a mission to help him find his best friend? The last thing you expected to happen was to fall in love with your assignment and become best friends with a witch.

Taglist ~ just comment if you wanna be added

@buckylokisimp​​, @white-wolf-buckaroo​​, @austynparksandpizza, @markandlexies​

Word Count: 2098

​Masterlist

Chapter 1 ~ Chapter 2 ~

Warnings: none

Chapter Summary: You and Steve run from HYDRA

Chapter 3: TOMORROW ISN’T PROMISED TO ANYBODY

I enter a shopping mall where I buy a hoodie for myself and a jacket, glasses and a hat for Rogers using cash. I pass by JD sports and see some Supra Vaders I know the Captain will just love so I go in and grab a pair, and get a pair of Nike Dunk Sky His for myself. I leave and meet him where he waits, away from any crowds and we put on our simple yet effective disguises.

“First rule of going on the run, is don’t run. Walk,” I say, recalling my operations training.

“If I run in these shoes they’re gonna fall off.”

I smirk. “Sorry, thought you’d be bigger.”

Ignoring my innuendo, Steve huffs. “They’re ridiculous, why can’t I lace them up?”

“It’s a fashion statement.” I glance at a map as we pass by. “Apple store’s upstairs.” We ride the escalator and enter the store.

Finding an empty laptop, I get to work. “The drive has a Level 6 homing program so as soon as we boot up, SHIELD will know exactly where we are.”

“How much time will we have?” he asks, surveying the area not so subtly.

“About 9 minutes from…” I insert the drive. “now.” I enter the coding commands to unlock the intel but something inverts each one… now comes in my training from the Academy of Science and Technology. “Fury was right about that ship. Somebody’s trying to hide something.” As I look through the coding script my inputs are rewritten to counter the commands. “This drive is protected by some sort of AI.”

“Like Stark’s robot voice? Can you override it?”

I raise a brow as I type away. “The person who developed this is slightly smarter than me. Slightly. I’m gonna try running a tracer. This is a program that SHIELD developed to track hostile malware, so if we can’t read the file, maybe we can find out its origin.” The map tracks a location and pinpoints it as we are approached by a store employee.

“Can I help you guys with anything?”

I react quickly and give him my best charming smile. “Oh, no. My fiancé was just helping me with some honeymoon destinations,” I giggle, placing my hands on Rogers’ shoulders.

“Right,” he adds awkwardly. “We’re gettin’ married.”

“Congratulations! Where are you guys thinkin’ about goin’?”

I go back to the laptop and the state has been pinpointed.

“New Jersey,” the Captain reads aloud.

“Huh,” the employee lets out, surprised. “I have the exact same glasses,” he says after a pause.

“Wow, you two are practically twins,” I remark as I type away.

“Yeah, I wish!” he chuckles. “Specimen. Uh, if you guys need anything… I’ve been Aaron.”

“Thank you,” Rogers rushes out. “You said 9 minutes,” he checks his watch. “Come on.”

I shush him. “Relax… I’m working.” The screen reads Wheaton, New Jersey. “Done.” I look up at him and he has a frown on his face. “You know it?”

“I used to. Let’s go.” He pulls the hard drive out of the laptop and we walk out of the store. “Standard tac team. Two behind, two across,” he turns to face forward. “two comin’ straight at us. If they make us, I’ll engage, you hit the south escalator to the metro.”

As he speaks I roll my eyes, this guy was definitely not meant for the spy world. “Put your arm around me and laugh at something I said,” I say.

“What?” he sounds utterly confused.

“Do it.” I feel his arm rest on my shoulder and he gives the most awkward laugh I have ever heard come from a person. “See, Captain? No need to make such a scene.” We work our way to the escalator and I spot Rumlow on the escalator coming up. I turn to look up at Rogers. “Kiss me.”

“What?” he says again, flustered.

“Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable.”

“Yes they do!” he whispers.

I put my hand to the back of his neck and push him towards me so our lips meet and I feel his hand fall on my waist. I open my eyes and pull away slowly after enough time has passed.

“You still uncomfortable?” I ask turning and walking down the escalator.

“That’s not exactly a word I would use,” he murmurs and quiets down as we get to the parking lot.

“We could get bus tickets to New Jersey, think I’ve got enough cash for the trip,” I suggest.

“Keep a look out,” he says approaching a truck as I frown but do as he says. In no time I hear the start of an engine and whirl to look at him. “Come on, we don’t have all day,” he says smugly.

I get into the passenger’s side and he starts to drive to the Garden State.

“Can’t believe Captain America can steal cars…” I say striking up a conversation.

He chuckles. “Kind of a necessary skill when you’re fighting a World War and you’re in enemy territory.”

I hum and he glances at me. “And it’s not stealing if we give it back so get your feet off the dash.”

“Bossy,” I remark but do as he says. “I like that,”

There’s a pink tint to his cheeks and his jaw clenches but he doesn’t say anything.

“So I have a question for you…” I start with a raised brow. “But you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, although no answer is an answer in itself so-“

“Get to it, L/N,” he interrupts authoritatively.

“Was that your first kiss since 1945?” I smirk.

“That bad, huh?”

“I didn’t say that!” I laugh.

“Well it kinda sounds like that’s what you’re saying.”

“I was just… wondering if you’ve had practice… since going… into the ice,” for a super secret agent, that answer lacked finesse. “It’s just, I don’t know how you did it in 1945 but guys normally move their mouths for a long kiss like that,” I shrug.

“I don’t need practice.”

“Everyone needs practice.”

“It was not my first kiss since 1945. I’m 95, not dead.”

“Oh?” I say, curiosity piqued. “Who’s been kissing Captain America then?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Someone special?”

He chuckles. “It might come as a surprise to you but it’s hard to find someone with shared life experience,” he says sarcastically.

“That’s okay, you just make stuff up.”

“What, like you?” I know he doesn’t intend for it to sound mean so I shrug it off.

“Not everyone can handle the truth, can they? I wouldn’t mind a few white lies to keep something good going… and you don’t need shared life experience, right? Not really… there’s that whole opposites attract notion, after all.”

“But it’s good to have someone who understands what you’re going through, right?”

I shrug… sometimes not knowing is better. Safer. “Maybe. But in this occupation…” I sigh. “Well I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been in love.”

“You’ve – you never had someone?” Looks like I threw him for a loop.

Shaking my head I turn to look out my window at the trees we pass by. “I don’t hate love or anything… it’s just dangerous to love someone like… us. Isn’t it? They’d either get hurt by people we go after or… ya know, if we don’t come back… it hurts them too.”

“But tomorrow isn’t promised to anybody,” he reasons. “So why deprive yourself of something as great as love on the off chance you die?”

“Because it’s easier.”

“For who?”

“Why the interest Rogers? You wanna fill that spot? Play a little house? Imagine we don’t have to save the world from domestic terrorists?”

He hums at my decision to not answer the question. “No, that’s not what I need right now.”

“And what do you need?”

“Just…” he sighs. “a friend.”

Of course. “Well, there’s a chance you might be in the wrong business, Rogers…”

“Maybe we could start with not calling each other our last names?” he offers.

I smile. “Maybe.”

We arrive at the location the tracer indicated as the sun is setting.

Camp Lehigh is on a sign but it seems to be long abandoned.

“The file came from these coordinates,” I say as I pick the lock on the chained fence.

“So did I…” Steve says looking up at the sign in nostalgia. “This camp is where I was trained.”

“Change much?”

“A little…”

I wonder around, scanning the area for any thing to indicate a power source. “This is a dead end. Zero heat signatures, zero waves. Not even radio. Whoever created the file must have used a router to throw people off.” I tuck the scanner in my back pocket and the Captain looks up at me then shifts his gaze to behind me, frowning. “What is it?”

He starts walking and I follow. “Army regulations forbid storing munitions within 500 yards of the barracks. This building’s in the wrong place.” He breaks the lock with his shield and we enter as it leads us underground.

I turn on the lights and it reveals the insignia painted on the wall. “This was SHIELD. The early days, after it evolved from the Strategic Scientific Reserve,” I say, recognizing the outdated logo.

We wander around, finding a wall of three portraits. “The three founders.” He looks at me. “What? The history is one of the things they teach at the academies. Colonel Philips, Howard Stark and Margaret Carter.”

“There are academies?”

“Three. Very tough admission.”

Rogers spots something and looks closer. “If you’re already working in a secret office…” he pushes the shelves apart. “Why do you need to hide the elevator?”

Using my SHIELD issued code breaking device I type in the code for the elevator which takes us down even further to a room of computers, monitors and servers.

“This can’t be right… this equipment is ancient how could it be used to make the files?”

There was one place that looked like it came from this century and I decide to take a risk and plug in the usb drive. The servers whir and more lights come on.

“Initiate system?” a computerized voice says.

Yes, I type. “Creepy.” As we wait for the system to boot up I smirk. “Shall we play a game?” I laugh at myself. “It’s from a movie that was really pop-“

“I know,” he interrupts. “I saw it.”

A camera moves to Rogers and a voice recites his name and year of birth. Then it turns to me and does the same.

“Is this the AI that was blocking my commands back at the mall?” I say looking closer.

“I may not be the man I was back when the Captain took me in 1945 but I am.” A photo appears on one of the other screens.

“You know this… thing?”

“Arnim Zola was a German Scientist who worked for the Red Skull.”

“He’s been dead for years,” I add, remember something of the history lessons.

“First correction, I am Swiss. Second, look around you. I have never been more alive.” The robot voice recounts his end of life story and how he uploaded his consciousness into databanks.

“How did you get here?”

“By invitation.”

“It was Operation Paperclip after World War II. SHIELD recruited German scientists with strategic value. Always thought they shoulda just locked them all up… we probably wouldn’t be in this mess if they did.”

“HYDRA would have died with the Red Skull.”

“Cut off one head… two more shall take its place,” I recite their mantra aloud.

“When history did not cooperate… history was changed.” A flurry of photos of the Winter Soldier in the back ground of significant political events appear on the screens.

“That’s impossible, SHIELD would have stopped you,” I say, moving closer.

“Accidents would happen.” News of Howard and Maria Stark’s car accident shows up next.

Rogers punches the screen as Zola provokes him.

Does that mean…? I don’t finish the thought as the mad scientist explains what the drive contains.

“What kind of algorithm? What does it do?” I ask.

The doors begin to close as Steve is too late to throw his shield. A beeping comes from my communicator, detecting something. “Steve, we got a bogey. Short range ballistic 30 seconds tops.”

“Who fired it?”

“SHIELD.” I pull out the drive and Steve pulls a grate from the floor. I jump in and he follows, putting the shield up above us as rubble rains down on us. He strains against the weight of it all and the debris settles.

💖💖

Thank you for reading!

I'll be gone until Monday again but I'll try to write on my phone!! I have literally never been so busy throughout this summer until now!

Chapter 4

[chaos-caffeinated]

Emotions can help you remember Part 3 (Sebastian Michaelis x reader)

 Okay this is it, those words say everything you need to know, enjoy!

update: Oct/06/2020: To compensate for the part, I completed the story. 

Like I said -did I even say it?- I am an overachiever...and a sucker for plot

Not requested (Tagging @naniky​)

NSFW/T - 18+

Smut, lemon

One more thing: Do not forget I am not the only author, my brother and I share this blog for the sole reason of creating content together as well as maintaining an easy access to our stories. Just look under #caffeine for more stories from him, the media he does, previous works, requests/commissions/, and what he is willing to write and not write. 

Okay, NOW onto the story: Enjoy!

I wrote this part incredibly long that I just had to make another part, which will be uploaded in the next hour (October 31, 1pm). If you would like to be reminded, just click on the button on the top right corner (if mobile) and select “get notified”.

“Though it’s good, it’s not fluent enough. Again.” Sebastian ordered, his facial expression was laced with the strictness of his voice. His eyebrows were knitted behind his delicate oval glasses that were chained for easy access. He held a short whip that caught your attention each time he smack it onto his hand, sometimes wondering to ask him if it hurt to whip himself. 

Flinching from the sound, you involuntarily let out a whimper before gazing at the text before you, “Ce soir, je serai donné à l’obscurité, je n’ai que moi-même au prince des ténèbres. Oh Crow permettent à mon corps d’aider dans votre plaisir que votre vie s’est propagée avec la douleur que l’humanité comme elle l’a-a...a...^1” You felt burned out, your voice no longer being able to read off the text that Sebastian had you reading, emphasizing the importance of pronunciations. 

Sebastian, on the other hand, was enjoying the moment you were casting yourself off to him, simply smiling behind his façade of strict teacher. Once you finished your speech you would his for the night, but he flinched when you stuttered towards the end, his attention towards you made him realized you looked tired, “Sebastian...I’m sorry, but I...I am so tired...French is not my strength, I am so sorry.” You gazed downwards, too ashamed to even look at him in the eye. You felt the constraining corset shift underneath as you crossed your arms, disappointed at yourself.

Before he could sigh subtly, his brain had racked up the idea to try something. He smirked widely, his eyes glinting the mischief with the intertwined lust. 

“It is unfortunate, Miss. (L/N), but you have four days before the ball, and I’m sure you want Miss. Hopkins to be delighted upon your return without a language barrier, right?...”

“...Y-yes.” You confirmed, saddening at the fact that you may potentially be upsetting her. 

“Well then, I hope you realize I have a couple tricks under my sleeve, however, some may deem it as unorthodox because of its-” he used the thin stick in his hand to whip the desk, his free hand placed on the mahogany desk leaning over slightly, hovering over your body. Your head whipped upwards where you immediately came face to face with the handsome butler/tutor, to which your cheeks were tinted with a slight pink hue from the closeness between you. 

“Physicality.” He finished with a smirk, “Of course I need your permission, but time waits for no one my lady.” He adds as he rose the tip of baton from in-between your collarbones up to your chin with a light tap. You subconsciously tipped your head back lightly in response to the baton to which he responded with a subtle smirk. When you heard his sultry voice, you almost swore to hearing a purr at the end. 

Entranced by his proximity, you gulped subtly and let out your respond:

“Yes....Sebastian.”

“Then we shall start immediately.” And he closed in by pressing his lips against your lips, one second secure and passion, the next dominant and rough. You let out a soft meek as you were trying to push against him, but he was strong. You sensed he wanted more, hence why he was rough enough to lean you back. 

He removed himself, smirking and revealing the fang as he lick his lips lightly, “I hope you are ready, Miss. (L/N), for I am not lenient.” And he stood up, “Stand.” He commanded, raising the baton to visually represent his command as you obeyed. 

You watched as he made his way behind the desk, but you looked ahead as you were afraid of anything sudden.

He made his way to where you sat and the chair scraped along the floor. 

“Sit.” He ordered, and you sat down to an unfamiliar seat when you realized the firmness and slight shift underneath. You blushed as you realized you sat on his lap.

You trembled softly as you felt as he placed his hands on your hips as he adjusted both of you, “You will read and translate the words I point, if you fail, I will punish you accordingly. Ready?”

You nodded, “Yes, S-Sebastian.”

With a smug look, he pointed at a word of ease to get you comfortable. This went on for a couple dozens of words before he began to challenge you: adding feathery touches to your back, causing you to flinch. 

“And this one?...” He leant by your ear, his voice having a slight rasp as he ushered.

While his gloved finger lightly traced your back, your body shivering from the touch, your voice faltered from it, “Uhm...eh...p-plaisir^2...”

“A stutter, Miss. (L/N)? When the ball is in session, I’m sure you’ll have someone like this as well. You can’t be distracted with this simple touch.” He took his forefinger and traced down your spine, making your cheeks blush again from the vulnerability. 

“...S-so what’s my punishment, then?...” 

“You want to be punished? Hm~...I’ll speak two paragraphs in French and you’ll translate them.”

Groaning as you had trouble listening and understanding, you took a deep breath and sighed, “Fine...”

“Good. Now...Dès que je t’ai posé les yeux, j’ai étré enchanté par ta beauté. J’avais espéré que vous travaillions pour Mlle Hopkins, et vous avez fait votre preuves devant elle ainsi que le jeune maître; talentueux et belle, je te voulais. Je vous ai dans mes mains, votre cœur bat vite, votre corps est à la chasse d’eau- Je sais que vous me voulez tout aussi bien, et à tout moment vous vacillez dans vos leçons Français, je vais m’assurer que vous souvenez de mes mains, mon corps, ma voix. Vous ne m’oublierez jamais aussi bien que la belle langue de Français.^3“

You couldn’t concentrate while he was caressing your back. Images flashed in your mind and you were shy to even have them possessed into your brain. You were fantasizing about being fondled, his hands caressing in other places, to have your own hands running through his raven locks. You wanted it all. However, when he spoke you understood some wording, his distinct pronunciation brought the sense of familiarity which gave you the confidence to translate his message, making you blush in the process as you processed the message. 

The more you spoke, the more Sebastian grew with anticipation. As you finished, he had held your hip, without moving his digits and whispered into his ears, “Good, now for a reward. (Y/N). Tell me, are you in any way against of my teachings?”

“...N-no...” you shyly confessed, “Please...keep it going...I do believe it’s helping me.”

His smirk widen, enough to reveal the fangs, “Good.” He whispered, “Then from now on...nous parlons dans Français ^4.”

(From this point on, it will all be english, I promise. I just thought this was fun)

~

You let out a gasp when he rose his hands, groping your breasts as his lips grazed on the back of your shoulders; he let out whispers you were able to catch, only to respond with the same whispered voice. Each word he spoke out you would be given a kiss from his soft, yet rough lips onto your warm flesh. His hands lingered over your breasts, his fingers rubbing your clothed-areolas triggering them to harden. 

“Tell me how are you feeling, (Y/N). Describe it.” He pulled back his hands as he teasingly, irritatingly, slowly removed your dress to expose your soft skin to his greedy mouth and hands. He removed his gloves to expose his black nails and the Faustian contract that linked his current master and him as property as he was currently ready to devour a mortal body in front of him, “Tell me, (Y/N)...what do you want me to do to you?”

“I...I feel like...my skin is on fire, like I want more just to get rid of it, but...but I like it...I like the feeling of your hands on me...I never want it to stop... I know I want more, I want to feel you everywhere...” You let out shaky breaths as you tried to muffled your moans in, your chest heaving as you gazed down to see his right hand placed on your abdomen area and you gently grabbed it, leading it back to your breast. His touch alone was driving you wild, craving for more as you tried so hard to hold back; believing that you were strong only to fall back.  

Sebastian hummed in response, "Then so be it." Where his hands were located, he easily held you down while bucking his hips, earning a few mewls from you, and your head lulling back as your chest arched forward. You hated how your body betrayed your logical side, falling into the temptation that you thought you had handled, but it was only destroyed from his presence, from his words, from his eyes. 

He bunched up the skirt so your clothed womanhood would be pressed against his clothed bulge, your moaning raised slightly to place your hands on the top of the desk, immediately interrupting the craze. You were panting, you were blushing, you were craving for more of his hot touches that got your body to get tingles, “...It is overwhelming...how is it that your so good to get me so desperate like this?...You are like the devil everyone warns to stay away from...” You attempted to take control of your body again, but you felt something pressed against you as you not only felt a hand on your hip, but another placed in front by your hand. 

Sebastian was even more entranced, while you felt he was responsible for your craze, he blamed you for his craze towards you. Other people would feel guilt while in the bliss of pleasure, others feel a sense of betrayal for their partners, others feel used when the Head Butler of Phantomhive seemed to be intriguing enough to have his attention, but when there isn’t a direct order from Ciel to gather information, to get them to cooperate, he feels a sense of ferality since his interest is purely internal. His plans were to make you his; you can be feisty, you can be yourself, he was most amazed that a simple being such as yourself can manage to stir a demon with their core motivations. He just wanted you, but there were instances where he believed he was doing this because he was to be yours, and that did not sit well with him, which is why he would do everything to get you to submit to him first.

When Sebastian stood up, the chair sliding back, he pressed against you, "Are you scared of me?" He whispered into your ear, "Because I can assure you that even the devil can open your eyes to reality...” He taunts as he raised his hand to caress your exposed arm with his fingertips then grazing them with his black nails before placing on top of yours, interlacing with your fingers.

You whined desperately, turning your head slightly to glance at Sebastian who was smirking. Once again your flesh burned with passion as you feel him start discard your undergarments, the idea that you two were getting closer and closer to bond was filling you up with anticipation, with more shivers down your back. What surprised you was to see each piece of your dress in front of you as he asked you what they were called: he wanted you to continue to learn despite the situation you two were in.  

"What is this?" He asks as he takes off each material. You grunted as he was testing your French by having you name every single material. Each time he removed something he would ask you and it was getting annoying. It was torture, hell, trying so hard not rip anything apart to get closer to become one.

After what felt like an eternity of hell of torture, you were naked in front of him. You realized how vulnerable you were in the position, offering yourself to the Head Butler of the Phantomhives and that made you cower slightly. Trembling, you tried to close up when you felt two soft hands placed on your back.

"Such a magnificent body you have, it's no wonder why everybody else wants you. Beauty like this deserves to be shown off...,but at this moment, and moments like these...you are mine alone." He whispered to you only, his ushered tone had a growl towards the end, like a predator growling in victory towards its prey. His fingers trailed up your back to the nape of your neck and held it in place as the other groped your breast.

You wondered when he had the opportunity to unbuckle his pants, but you shivered once you felt the head of his cock rubbing against your clit, a wanton moan releasing as your body pressed against him almost out of instinct.

"Mmm, desperate for more?~" Sebastian teased as he smirked devilishly, holding you in place as he rejected to further your pleasure.

"Please....please, Sebastian." You begged, tearing up, "Please..." you panted as you swayed your hips in an attempt to tempt him further.

Sebastian smirked and remained like that only to hear and see you move less and less. You tried waiting patiently, tried, but you simply closed your eyes and imagined the scenarios that made you blush. As you imagine him, your thoughts were quickly interrupted as he guided you to bend over the desk as he held your hips, "Distracted yet again, Miss. (L/N), my my. You are one persistent student, aren't you?" He snapped his hips towards, his cock rubbing against your entrance which startled you, "Patience 'will get you anywhere and everywhere', my dear." He reminds you before he proceeded to enter.

As you stiffened from the pressure of his member stretching you, you let out a strained moan as your hands gripped the edge of the table. Even Sebastian groaned subtly as you tightened around him and he calmly rubbed your back in a soft manner, "...W-was...Was this your first time?" He caught his breath as he eased the thrusting by removing himself until the hilt.

You involuntarily let out a breathy moan as he returned, thrusting in a steady pace. Each thrust felt more good and pleasurable than the last before you your hips pressed back against him. You even arched your back as you press back to feel his hips slap against you. The pace was increasing ever slightly, his breaths were audible as he let out breathy moans with your vocal ones. He had an immense grip on your hips that bruises were going to appear, but you didn’t mind. You would have to deal with that in the near future, at the moment you getting taken care of very good by the butler. 

Sebastian let out a soft chuckle as he removed himself and proceeded to sit on the chair. You gasped and whined from frustration when you looked over your shoulder to see him sitting, his erection was resting against abdomen; the image alone was an unholy sight, for he had achieved his core motivation. 

The way his hand rolled over to curl his finger into a “come hither” motion made you and your body responded by flowing with his hand. You turned around and watched as he accommodated his sitting position for you to sit on him once again. Facing forward, you rested your knees beside his thighs and remained uplifted as you stared into his enchanting crimson red eyes. His smirk widen -his bloody smirk- as he leaned forward to nip at your flesh. His arms entangled you in an embrace, but he held you down; he had successfully trapped you fully, he had you, not the other way around he thought you intended. 

You took a deep breath as you felt him once more, but this time it felt different. The way he held you, the way he gazed into your eyes as your back arched and your head leaned back, mindlessly staring at the ceiling. He leaned forward once again only to lick at your mounds and made suckling motions over  your harden nipples. His right arm wrapped around your waist and held you down as he thrusted into you unexpectedly with a steady speed. 

Moaning and instinctively placing your hands through his raven locks, you tilted your head down only to look straight into his devilish eyes. He pulled away from your nipples as you tugged at his locks; his eyebrows twitched subtly as they furrowed slightly; lips were agape as he panted softly. There were sweat beads decorating his pale face as he let out soft moans, your blush darkening from the mysterious man himself, 

“Are you e-enjoying the view, Miss. (L/N)?” He asked in his best attempt of a flustered tone, “You’ve gone back to your head once again, and just how would you feel good if trapped in there?” He bucked his hips which made you buck your hips in response. He pulled your body at an angle which trigger a hyper vocal activity, even your hand left his hair to cover your own mouth, closing your eyes to sense him intensely than before.  There was an intense tingling sensation as your body took over control to reach their goal too. 

As the speed and pressure built up, you had the courage to not only sit back up, but wrap your arms around his neck, curving forward so your mouth latched onto his neck, biting into it as he stiffened from the sudden move. 

You had reached a point that you desperately wanted to increase the speed from how close you were, grinding against him; knowing him already, you were the one that had to obtain it instead of asking. 

Sebastian was completely thrown off guard from the bite, his nails puncturing your skin as he stood up with you in his arms and laid you on the top of the desk, his hands gripping on your thighs, bruises would be appearing in a while, but he didn’t care as he aid in your goal, “A naughty girl indeed..” He panted, his eyes darkening, “Marking me in such a way is unforgivable...now I have no choice to reciprocate your feelings-”

Before you can even comprehend his intentions, you felt a sharp pain on your shoulders, your back arched forward as you cried out in pain, “S-sebastia-”

A hand covered your mouth, your voice muffled as he moaned as well into your shoulder. 

As you came onto his girth member, he remained still as he tried to hold off, even his body shivered from the denial- the torture he put himself into when he purposely holds himself from pouring his pleasure into you. As your body shivered and bucked into the pleasure, you simply held onto him as you rode out your orgasm, the sensation of the building pressure continue to overwhelm, the feeling of pushing him off whilst holding him close was a dilemma. 

As your eyes closed, you can feel him shift, you hear the rustling of clothes in a quick, yet slow manner. Instead of the clothes, you focused on yourself: your legs slightly shaking, your chest heaving as you breathed heavily, your cheeks burning, your body freezing from the sweat that had gone out to refresh you from the hot man in front of you. 

Slowly, you opened your eyes to see him dressed up already. His deep red eyes maintained fixed on you as he fixed his tie, his smirk plastered on his facial features, “Miss. (L/N), I do believe the lesson over for now, I think it’s best for you to rest.” He offered his hand towards you while you just had come down from the high. You felt queasy, but it wasn’t it. No, you felt lighter, you felt fresh for some reason. Could the taboo act made you much bolder, could it have made you more experienced?

“...My dress.” You managed to croak out in English, your voice sounded hoarse and you blushed from embarrassment as your hand hovered over your mouth.

“Oh my...I think overstepped my boundaries a bit, my apologies my lady, I will prepare some tea to soothe your voice...We don’t want our lesson to go to waste.” He spoke in a matter-of-fact. You blushed as you averted your eyes from his as you nodded, “Y-yes...”

“Yes?” Sebastian’s eyebrow quirked slightly which you quickly corrected, “I mean, ‘Oui, monsieur’.” 

When you saw him smile in a satisfied manner, you nearly sighed in relief, but you were now flustered and quiet from the ‘lesson’ that he performed to help you learn French. Without a doubt it left an impression you, an act of intimacy and vulnerabilities in a lovemaking surely stirred things up to help you remember words -events- more effectively. 

While you were thinking, Sebastian helped you back in your dress, “I have to say, I didn’t know of such a strong bite from you, my lady. It was certainly an eye-opener.” He explained as he helped with a few items. When he got to the corset, he lifted you onto your  feet and turned you around, “Hopefully you don’t forget about our time like...this” he whispered as he guided his hands across your abdomen which you instinctively let out a breathy moan, “Y-yes...I’m sure I’ll never forget about the event...” you stabled yourself as he pulled on the corset only to make you gasp from how tight he was pulling. 

After a couple minutes, you both cleaned up the area and headed to your room to rest. Your voice felt raspy, nearly gone. When a surprise visit from Ciel caught your attention to ask about your lessons, Sebastian intervened for you, “I apologize young master, but realizing that Miss. (L/N) is tight on schedule for the ball, I had a trick under my sleeve to ensure she would capture the lesson, but...I believe I was too harsh on her.” He smirked lightly which you forced yourself to nod.

“...L-lost my voice a bit...” you confirmed, “But it’s not like a cup of tea won’t help.”

Ciel nodded slightly, glaring at Sebastian, “I’m sorry as well, I know Sebastian can be too rash with his studies, but if he does it again you can tell me. I’ll be in my office if needed- Sebastian, I want cake when you’re finished.” and he proceeded to walk to his study room. 

“Yes, my lord.” Sebastian responded before guiding you to his bedroom.

“Couldn’t have been more obvious?”, You bit as you rested your hand on your neck.

Sebastian chuckled behind his fist as he arrived to the room, opening the door for you, “If you wanted me to, I could have.”

“You really have no shame, Mr. Michaelis, but please...I ask that you keep this our secret...I don’t want you to get in trouble as well as I...” You asked of him as you entered the room to sit on the bed. 

Sebastian placed a hand over his chest as he leaned forward wit his eyes closed, “As you wish, I will keep it between us.” He stood up once again with his eyes open halfway. 

You smiled small as you leaned against your hands behind you, “You’re so...intriguing Sebastian. One moment you are a shadow, the next...uhm, you are almost a beast, and right after that you are....back to a shadow- how?...” You sat up, “I’m...beyond tired- very tired- and you are still up and going to complete your duties.”

Unnecessary to withhold his smirk, his half-lid eyes glanced on your way, “Your observational skills never cease to overwhelm me, Miss. (L/N), however..” his voice got more stern as he got closer, “ I have mentioned before that if you look into someone, you might regret it later, so I advise you my lady to keep at bay..”

The closer he got, the more you look up to stare into his eyes, challenging him, “Temptation rises when provoked, so I suggest you stop provoking me, Mr. Michaelis. Because we...intertwined in a forbidden act, you opened the doors to temptation, my... I even have to take care of myself in order to walk through those doors again...”

The corners of his lips curved slightly, Sebastian took your statement into consideration, but as entertained as he was to continue this conversation, his duties in the manor made him realize he had to cut it short, “I do have a few ways to cure that, my lady.” he suggested, his tone completely changed from the previous ominous tone to the mischievous one he possessed earlier. 

“Keep your tricks in your sleeve, please. I’m already exhausted from...your lesson there.” You huffed with a flustered face as you avoided eye contact once again. However, you failed to realize just how close he gotten. He reached out to your chin and pulled you close to him, “My lady, I have many tricks under my sleeve that I am not afraid to show you...four days is all I need.” He smirked darkly as he pulled away with a cheerful smile as he closed his eyes for the moment one again, “I will be right back with the tea as promised. In the meantime, please do relax and rest your voice...madam.” he added and proceeded to close the door behind him.

He left you speechless, knowing full well that his tricks were just promises ready to occur.

~

When Sebastian reached to the kitchen, he couldn’t help but rest against the door for a moment. After taking a deep breath, he chuckled darkly as he placed a hand over his face, “Sweet, sweet (Y/N), you drive me into a deep craze.” The hand hovered the side of the neck you bit him at. He was serious when he said you had a strong bite, and it wasn’t just that of muffling your moans. He strolled over to the counter and took out a knife to use as a mirror. He lowered his collar and managed to see a bruised bite-mark on his neck. His smirk widen and he clicked his tongue as he placed down the knife, “You’re a feisty one; I admire that.” He smiled darkly as he removed his coat to prepare the young lord his dessert. 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~4 Days later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

The music was soft and inviting, a subtle siren in your head to set the atmosphere of the ball. It was a slow drag from the violins which gave you strength to take a deep breath and walk forward to the crowd whom were laughing. 

Ciel was conversing with a man -the truth being the other way around-, commenting and opinionating of events that bore the young master to a tremendous level, but he remained to act as if he was in interest to the best of his ability to focus on capturing a special guest. When the nobleman excused himself after recognizing an acquaintance, Ciel called forward Sebastian who stood behind him, “Sebastian, keep an eye on Miss. (L/N) and anyone she is speaking with, there may be a chance that she’s talking with him at this moment-” as he gave him his order, Ciel spotted you with someone casually talking in French. He stood there slightly impressed at your proficiency and commented instead, “Miss. (L/N) has a lot of confidence with her French, she even looks different from before.” 

Sebastian smiled with his eyes closed as he respond, “Thank you my lord, it took a little more effort due to the time restraint, but additional teachings were added to ensure proficiency.”

Ciel eyed him for a moment, “Additional teachings? It didn’t involve something like close proximity did it?” He asked with a near disgust that his demon butler would go that far, but not surprised if he revealed the information. 

Placing a finger over his lips, Sebastian responded, “Miss. (L/N) has asked me not to disclose any information regarding our situation young lord, but that should already tell you.”

Ciel’s eyebrow twitched before releasing a sigh, “...Unfortunately, it did.” 

When he turned back to look at you, he audibly gasped when he didn’t see you there anymore, “Sebastian, track her.” He ordered  with a slight urgency in his voice, 

Bowing his head, Sebastian replied, “yes, my lord.” and he walked from his master to find you.

~

While the dynamic duo were talking, you were having a conversation with someone that was visiting a friend. It became so casual and so friendly that the two of you had walked over to the table to take a few pieces of snacks. 

His name was Jacque Arias, born into a family that dealt with the fabric industry in South France, you thought having a good friendship with him would help Miss. Hopkins with future business after you explained to him that you worked as a tailor for her. 

As you took a drink from your glass, he spoke: “I am so relieved to finally have something to go to, if I had to stay in the office one more night I would have gone insane.”

“So you like parties to distract yourself from work?”

He nods, “Yes, and to meet lovely ladies that could potentially be my future wife, like yourself.” He smiled small with a slight tilt of his head.

You blushed from hearing this, stiffening slightly, “Searching for a wife? Me? Surely you gist, sir. I am merely just a tailor intern.” You explain to him, ‘At least for the time being, I like having those small arguments with Sebastian,’ you admitted in thought. 

He reached forward to your hand only to caress, "A beautiful intern no less-...it maybe my imagination, but perhaps the party has tire me out. Shall we go somewhere more...silent? Somewhere we can be more intimate?"

You were ready to say no, already losing the interest of a business partner potential. If he wanted to marry you, for some reason you felt it was your choice to choose, and you wanted to choose someone that perhaps wasn't necessarily available to be taken, and you responded, "I don't want to offend you, but-"

He took your hand in his and lightly started guiding you out, "Then let's enjoy nature together." He suggested, "I...I don't-" You glanced around to see the mysterious man himself offering glasses to the guests, but he also glanced at your way. You noticed the faint smirk before he tilted his head forward, 'Go.' You felt him say before he went back to attend with the rest of the guests.

Almost feeling your body going light, you then followed the man ahead of you with a light smile.

It was chilly, your skin shivered to make some warmth, "Are you cold? I'll call up my carriage." He offered as he took off her coat, "In the meantime, here." He placed the coat over your shoulders, "I'll be right back." And he walked with a rushed speed.

You were surprised to see his nice side as he was going to get the carriage. You were suddenly curious about taking his offer, but you wanted to reject by the interaction at the table. Giving him the second chance to see him truly, you decided to wait outside than inside where it was warm.

~

Waiting patiently for a couple minutes, you felt your body shiver once again, but you subconsciously glanced around. You felt like someone was staring at you- stalking you. It felt uneasy for you, your hands tightening the coat around your body while you made your way back to the manor so you would at least be with someone before you spotted someone in pitch black. You almost called out his name until your eyes widen at the revelation.

While the ball was still in place and everyone was blissful at the moment, with the earl holding in his disinterest in people and balls overall, Sebastian kept a close connection with you. He immediately recognized the man you were with and knowing how humans seemed to be believe they were mated with one intense session, he just had to play the role of the silent lover, granting the permission for you to be with the next chaperone, 

The atmosphere was filled with a wave of chattering, the laughter whether genuine or filled with arrogance, Sebastian could listen to all with depth. He listened to the piece played by the string quartet and multi-task with his butler duties. Suddenly, he heard a change in the quartet, a new piece was to be played and he listened.

The violins and violoncello were stroked rapidly in the next piece that it threw people off guard. They were not expected such an allegro tempo from the players: notes raised, dropped, the moments of silence, the notes raising a subtle anxiety from the audience even Sebastian felt it. He felt the anxiety, he felt -for a moment- his heart beating faster and faster and he turned to glance at the young master only for him to just watch the quartet as well. In that instant, he heard your panting with his demonic ears, it was the only thing that stand out from the silent crowd and the musicians ahead of him. 

He strolled to the head of the family and bent over at his height only to whisper by his ear to prohibit eavesdropping. While Ciel watched ahead, his full attention was for the demon. 

“Sebastian, I order you to find him and bring both of them back here after the ball.” He ordered with the ushered tone as the butler replied: “Yes, my lord.” before smirking at the slight liberation in his current state.   

Previous Part/ Final Part 

~Translations~

1: Tonight I will be given to the darkness, I have but myself to the prince of darkness. Oh Crow allow my body to help in your pleasure as your life has been done with the pain that humanity as it (cut out: brought/ apporté.)

2:Pleasure

3: “Good Now...”The moment I laid my eyes on you, I was enchanted by your beauty. I had hoped you worked for Miss. Hopkins, and you proved yourself in front of her as well as the young master; talented and beautiful, I wanted you.

I have you in my hands, your heart is beating fast, your body is flushing- I know you want me just as well, and at any moment you falter in your French lessons, I will make sure  you remember my hands, my body, my voice. You will never forget me as well as the beautiful language of French is in your possession.”

4. we will speak in French

A/N: Tell me why I spent over 45 minutes searching the music sheet for the Diabolic Waltz and Danse Macabre (Can you blame me? It’s amazing work.) only to confirm or learn from parts where in the music because I am an overachiever and I go all out when I attempt to describe the music without being “the music played louder” come on, I didn’t spend two years in the marching band and be discriminated for being a woman and a semester in Music Appreciation in college for NOTHING- TEMPO, FORTE (Brother save me, this is my call for you to save me, this has gone way too far even for my own sake).

P.S. I am saying it again: Do not forget about my brother, Caffeine, he makes exclusive and waaaaay better stories than I. Just look under #caffeine for more of his content as well as a list of the media he covers for any requests/commissions.

[themysteriousauthor18]

Android Alastor oneshot [Radiodust]

Saw this art of Angel making an Android Alastor. Thought it was a really cool idea and wanted to make a oneshot of it!

Artist of the AMAZING art above:

The darkness slowly faded away, and something not bright, but a little less dark took its place. 

It's vision focused, a blurry image focusing itself down to the finer details. A warmer color invaded his vision, one that his brain came to know as...pink. This 'pink' seemed to cover most of the interior of the room. 

And as a pair of eyes looked around, it took note of the tiles on the floor, the cooler temperature, and metallic walling. 

A basement.

It's mind concluded. 

A small room within a basement, an empty chair seat in front of them, and a desk noticeably messy to their left were what caught its attention. It was unable to turn its head very much, or even it's body. But from its angle, it could barely make out what appeared to be skeptics of a robot to the left wall, just over the desk.

I want to move.

It thought. Pulling against what felt to be restraints, but decided it was best not to. Lest they damage anything. 

It's prying came to a halt when it picked up the soft tapping of shoes against the flooring. In the dim lighting, they could see a shadow drawing closer to the entrance of the room archway. 

They only patiently waited, eyes focusing in on the outline of something coming to a pause in the doorway. 

No, someone. 

They corrected. 

A human, and one quite disheveled. Blonde hair hastily tied back into a pony-tail. A white labcoat lazily draped around their arms leaving the tank top exposed. Their legs dressed in pink and purple stockings for small black heeled boots to cover their feet. 

This human seemed rather distressed. For once they saw the pair of eyes looking at them, they suddenly dropped the mug in their hands causing the brownish liquid to pour out onto the floor. 

Hands flying up to cover their mouth and wide green eyes staring in shock, they took a step closer. "Oh my god.." They muttered. 

Its head tilted as it examined the human furthur, smiling. 

The blonde-haired human was practically jogging in their spot, grinning once they removed their hands. 

"Holy shit it worked! O-okay okay okay..." They calmed themselves quickly hopping back into their chair and looking up into those eyes. Their chair swayed with them as they moved, resting hands between their legs.

"System AI begin start-up." They said barely containing the excitement in their voice.

The being was confused as its vision was suddenly invaded by multiple warnings, notifications, and many other things of which they didn't understand. After a moment or two, they cleared away. Leaving it's vision clear once more. 

Looking back down at the human who was lightly bouncing in the chair, eyes sparkling with anticipation he waited for them to say something else. 

"Alright-do you know who I am?" They asked, expression falling a little as if nervous.

The being tilted their head, eyes tracing over the person's body. Focusing in on little details such as the adam's apple in their throat, hair color, skin color, voice, and many other details.

After a moment, the being spoke. "You are Anthony Giuliani. A 23-year-old male. You are 69% Italian and 40%-"

Before it could finish its sentence the man sprung off from his seat practically jumping for joy.

"Holy shit it works! YOU work!" 

"Your heart rate has increased by 20%." 

The blonde paused in his celebratory victory and looked to the being. A frown played on his lips as he scratched his head. 

"Your tawking like your a robot. Damn...I thought I made you deviant. Shit guess it's somethin' well have to work on." He shook his head moving over to the wall and pressing something.

With a faint beeping the being felt something distracted itself from its back. It stood a little more freely now, nothing, in particular, holding it in place anymore. 

Taking a step back, the Italian moved over to pick up the mug he'd originally dropped. Setting it on his desk he turned back to the being, coat lazily draping around his hips as he rested his hands there.

"Alright...first of all, call me Angel. Angel Dust. Got it?"

The being blinked a few times, a small red circle on its temple blinking with them. "Yes. Angel Dust." It repeated in a mono-toned voice. 

The man looked annoyed by the tone but said nothing. "Second, what do you want your name to be?" 

The being stared, confused. 

"That is not in my function." It simply stated.

Angel groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Okay look. YOU are an android. I made you, but you're to..." he paused trying to find the right words. "Robotic. I can't have a boyfriend whose all emotionless and robily." 

" 'Robily' is not a real word." 

The blonde scoffed. "Well, there's a start." He turned away, being mindful of the pool of coffee on the floor. "I'll be right back, take a look around. Just don't go too far." 

"Very well." It stated. 

Once the human left, the android quietly turned to look around the room, no longer restrained. 

Looking at it from this angle, the android realized it was not quite just a room but a lab more accurately put. Shelves of books and a few trophies lined some of the walls. While for the rest mainly consisted of boxes holding various android parts. 

A whiteboard lay on the main wall of the room, opposite to the wall the desk lay in front of. Equations and measurements were drawn all over the board. Some even rough illustrations of a model. 

It turned and walked over to the desk, having a clearer vision of the schematic hanging over the desk he could now see there was something written on it.

'Project AL4570R Aka the perfect boyfriend.'

It read.

  ...[.Decoding.]...

.....[.Result: Alastor ]....

...[Update: Name may be Alastor]...

...[Gender: Male?]...

It turned away, finding that its hands rested behind its back. A motion that felt comfortable for it. 

Stepping back over near the entrance, a standing mirror greeted it.

As it looked at the reflection, it's head tilted to the side at the image. Not a human greeted it, but rather a tall.....deer man? 

Simply put it was a deer man.

More intricately put, they looked to be human safe for the large pair of red eyes, and deer ears all to obviously attached to the tops of its head. Its hair was a crimson red, the tips being a dark black, it's skin some shade of brown almost greyish. 

With the monocle over one of its eyes, black gloves, and the black to red tailcoat, it both wore and made up its body, gave it a more refined appearance. The small bow tie on its neck seemed to somehow bring it all together. 

"I'm back." 

Its head turned immediately as a machine would to a sound as the human entered back. A mop in his hand. 

"Already like looking at yourself huh?" Angel joked, noticing the androids staring at the mirror. 

Not replying to the comment, the android turned as Angel mopped up the spilled coffee. 

"You had said 'boyfriend'. My knowledge tells me that is a term associated with men in a non-platonic relationship. So am I a male then." 

Pausing in the mopping, Angel leaned on its handle smiling to the android. "Well look at you gettin' all smart and shit. Let's see, do you know your name too?" 

The human continued to mop up the mess. 

"Alastor." The android stated.

Putting the mob aside, the mess is picked up, the human turned towards the android almost impressed. 

"Bingo. Now, I'm gonna need to run some tests. See how your internal hard drive is and make sure the pump is regulating that blue blood enough so you don't die on me. That be annoyin' to deal with." The blonde muttered to himself sidestepping the android.

Alastor watched curiously as the human shuffled through his papers on the desk. 

Those large red eyes scanned the room once again, landing on something they handed seen before. 

A small box sitting beside the desk some old song playing through it. With its interest peaked, Alastor moved over to the desk once more kneeling down because it was rather tall, and peered at the small box.

Angel paused and looked over to the android, smiling a little. "Do you like that?" 

The android poked at the box. "My scanners tell me this device is called a radio." 

An amused laugh came from the human as he sat down in his chair at the desk. Moved his hand over to switch the dial and by extension the channel. 

The android's ears moved back at the sudden noise. "Huh, that's fuckin' adorable," Angel muttered, fascinated. Turning his attention back to the radio, "yeah but I keep it in here sometimes just to listen to music." 

The android repeated the same motion, switching the dails. Its eyes growing in amazement. 

Angel laughed as the android continued to fiddle with it. 

"Maybe your more of a deviant than I thought." 

[joshslater]

Twitching

Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

To my surprise people keep joining the stream. Usually it was only my friends and occasionally someone random that watched me play. Space strategy games are not the most audience-friendly. They require you to know a lot about the game mechanics, and they take a long while to play through a full campaign. But all my mates know the game, and are just here to socialize and sometimes provide a tip.

This evening is different though. It had started with some "Lucy333" joining what must have been almost an hour ago. More than 30 minutes for sure. But over the past 10 minutes I've gotten 12 more viewers I think. Suddenly there is a coin sound effect and the chat stream lights up with a donation. $2 from Lucy333 and the text "Hey, spaceboy! Take your shirt off!"

I can instantly feel myself blushing. I'm flattered for a few milliseconds. I'm aware of the streams with girls showing lots of skin to get donations. I've never watched any of them. I'm not even aware of any with boys in them, but I know they exist. "Thanks for the donation, Lucy. This isn't that kind of stream though, clearly." I'm just playing for my mates when we don't feel like meeting up or doing something else. And I know I'm not a looker, though not shockingly ugly like Pete. Honestly, if there wasn't a pandemic going on we would probably do exactly the same thing anyway, playing space strategy and talk Marvel.

There is a flurry of responses from the newcomers in the chat. "Do it! Do it!" says one Donnatrix. "It could be that kind of stream," says fluffy2000. Soon my mates start cheering on as well. It basically turns into a dare. I'm not proud of my body, but I'm not ashamed of it either. It just is. Fuck it. I don't know what I'm going to be teased for more, if I take my shirt off, or if I don't. I reckon if I do what they ask for they have less ground to stand on. I set the game speed to low, say "Ok then", take off my headset, and pull off my T-shirt.

I'm met with a torrent of cheers in the chat. "Now it is that kind of stream," says fluffy. Donnatrix drops $5 and the comment "YAAAASSS". It feels weird. I can't decide if this is a group of sorority girls that randomly and sarcastically sexualize nerds, or if they are genuinely supportive.

"Thank y'all. Now back to trade route 14 to Zephyr-C". My emissary mission hasn't moved far at this speed. I'm about to increase the in-game speed when I get another $2 donation from Lucy. "Spaceboy, keep the game in slow mode and jump over to Heavenly Bodies."

I have no idea what she is talking about, if she even is a she. Her message is instantly met with a wave of support from the other newcomers. At this game speed it would take hours before I need to take any action, and I'm already up a Whopper meal without having done anything, so I reckon I can play whatever they want me to play for a while. Who knew I was that easily bought? "I don't know what that is," I say into my headset.

A few seconds later Lucy sends me a private message with a TinyURL. "This better not mess with my game rig. If it's porn I'll switch back to the game." I say. "It could be that kind of stream too." fluffy offers in the chat. "He could use some porn tbh" my friend Mike responds. I click the link.

The browser loads something that looks like a web game. It's a character creation screen with a faceless, very neutral model on the screen. Looks like those posable figures you use when learning to draw. There are no controls, except a set of buttons that offers you to upload settings, import from Facebook, and similar. I click the Facebook one, click a few approvals, and a progress bar that only lasts a few seconds appears. When it is gone there is a 3D model of me on the screen. "Wow! This looks just like me." Whatever AI they have combing through my online photos managed to get almost everything right. I'm wearing some sort of speedos, but I don't own any, so that part was a miss, but the model looks spot on. "Whatever else they have in the game, I don't think they are going to top this."

A long list of sliders and customizations appear on the screen. It looks like an incredibly detailed character creation screen. I try moving the height controller and is met with a message box saying I'm out of credits, and that I need $10,000 to change my height to whatever I moved it to. Clearly not real money. "I can't change anything". Lucy responded I need to share it. I exit fullscreen on the game and move the browser over to my other screen so everyone on the stream can see. "No, you need to click the share button in the UI and post the link in the chat", Donnatrix writes.

A big gift-wrapped box appears in the corner of the game window. I click it and it presents the text "Hair color and style" with bold letters and below that a text message from Lucy "I think this will be cute on you." I click accept and the 3D model is updated with new hair. It's dark blonde or whatever the oxymoronic name is for it, instead of my usual rat brown hair. It's short on the sides and on top is a big swooping quiff. It looks utterly silly. "Thanks, nice one," I tell the stream. I see a lot of cheers coming in the chat, but I'm a bit perplexed about the "OMYFUCKING GDO!" from Mike. It's just silly hair.

Immediately a new gift box appears on the screen, and soon after a (2) is added on top of it, possibly indicating two gifts waiting. I find it a little bit cute that these girls are essentially playing with paper dolls, but digitally and modeled after someone real. I open the next gift, "Facial Features" from Julia_Awesome. I click accept again, and the doll on the screen is updated. Weirdly it felt like a flash of heat hit me, like those flame effects on concerts. The doll still looks like me, but pretty fictionalized. The face is much sharper, not just less fat, but probably also some bone structure changes as well. It's equally interesting and disheartening, like one of those really good mobile phone filter apps that makes you into a photo model. Makes you understand how unobtainable the Men's Health cover look really is. "Thank you, Julia, but I'm not sure about this look."

I'm ignoring the chat, though I see it is going bananas. I'll have to read that later when the stream is over. I open the next box. Another two has already arrived. This gift is from Donnatrix and is "Core Body", whatever that means. It feels like a gut punch. Perhaps not that, because it doesn't hurt, but it knocks the air out of me. Almost made me fall out of the chair. I'm confused about what is actually happening though because things don't make sense. My body looks deformed. It takes a moment before my brain stops associating what I see with HR Geiger's nightmarish paintings and start to understand what I really see. My body is suddenly a lot leaner and a hell of a lot more stacked than before. Proper abs muscles like a pan of Hawaii rolls.

I look up at the main screen for the first time in what feels like an eternity. The model on the screen looks ripped as well. How stupid can one person be? I turn to the side monitor and look at the window from the webcam. It's me, all new muscles, strong jaw, and a silly quiff on top.

"Hold up! Hold up! Hold up! This is insane! This isn't possible."

"lol, of course not" I see moving by in the chat. I go back to the program. Four more gifts waiting. I look at the model on the screen. I look at the webcam view. "Arms" says the next gift with the text "Promise to flex for me." Well, fuck Zephyr-C and trade route 14.