Random Naruto fics
I've given up sorting through and grouping things together. It is what it is. Which is a bunch of random ships and fics in a mixer.
Anyway, here it is:
A black dot • means it’s a one-shot
Brackets (…) means it's still being updated/not done/WIP – and I'm paying close attention to it
(000) -> disappeared off the internet (don't worry I have a copy shh)
(Pairing/Pairing+) -> Time travel or dimension hopping – something along those lines
A heart ♡ means it's focused on Sexy times (it's pure filth PWP, or like, a plot focused on getting to the porn part lol)
xwannaflyx: “Saving the World (but Mostly Yourself)” (Gai/Kakashi+)
part of a series, one of three
Kakashi's plan to save the world is something vaguely involving exposing Danzo's involvement in everything and stalking Orochimaru to make sure he can keep an eye on any potentially apocalyptic projects. His plan did NOT involve becoming the student of Orochimaru. (Also his plan kinda sucks and Sasuke may have had a point when he said he didn't have a plan.)
(Realistically he didn't have much of a plan and thank god for Tsunade because both Kakashi and Orochimaru are a hot mess)
TJ_Dragonblade: - “Delayed (or, Why Kakashi Is Never On Time)” (Gai/Kakashi) ♡ •
The real reason Kakashi's always showing up late.
Thehoundisdead: “I Was Born to Press My Head Between Your Shoulder Blades” (Gai/Kakashi) •
“Ugh,” Kakashi sighs loud before turning quick and sharp in Guy’s grasp so they face each other, only to absolutely slam his face against Guy’s chest. If Guy were a lesser man it might hurt, but as is, he just laughs at his Rival’s antics, even as said rival curls his fist tight on Guy’s bare waist, “I’m trying to sleep, be quiet.”
“But Kakashi,” Guy actually whispers this time, jaw moving against the top of Kakashi’s head, “You are in my bed.”
Or, 5 times Kakashi fell asleep on Guy and one time Guy understood.
Forgetme: “Phoenix” (Gai/Kakashi) •
Kakashi comes back to life. It takes a while.
(takes place after chapter 450)
Aventria, iluxia: - “Hiding in the Leaves” (...) (general)
last update: 2023
In another life, Orochimaru never leaves Konoha, opting to remain within the village that equally reveres and reviles him. Fighting a bitter battle against forces within the village that are more influential and well-positioned, he finds himself gifted with one last shining opportunity: three children, a team of genin, handed to him because Konoha has no better choice. Orochimaru agrees to become a jounin-sensei for the first and the last time, taking on the next generation's Team Seven: Uchiha Sasuke, Nara Shikamaru, and Uzumaki Naruto.
Chrononautical: - “An Unexpected Homecoming” (Kakashi/Minato+)
The Reaper dies and those who were sealed alive are released.
Tozette: “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” (Sasuke/Sakura) •
Sasuke is actually eighteen the first time he looks at Sakura and realizes abruptly that he wants her.
Sunshine_sparrow: - “With Nothing On My Tongue” (...) (Kakashi/Naruto)
last update: 2023
Naruto realizes the ability of the Kage Bunshin the night after being attacked by Mizuki. At first he just wants to use them to help him train; then the true usefulness of the jutsu begins to reveal itself.
Featuring baby badasses, Tank Team Seven, snarky dogs, a special guest appearance by Kakashi's Guilt Complex, and many, many fix-it cliches.
Grilled Cheesby: - “The Jikan Phenomenon” (...) (Sasuke/Kakashi+)
last update: 2020
The Jikan Phenomenon is something that the Uchiha rarely talk about. The sharingan and it's capabilities when it comes to space and time are largely unexplored. The sharingan has many techniques that, with enough training, the wielder can control. The Jikan Phenomenon is not one of them.
Chespin: - “The Cessation of Panic“ (Sakura/Sasuke) •
"There's a thing called a hospital," she starts. "I recognize that Orochimaru was mean to you and probably never took you to one, but they're wonderful things. You should go there. Now."
Or: Five times Sasuke shows up injured on Sakura's doorstep.
CherFleur: “Tsundoku” (...) (Kakashi/OC)
*discontinued, rewrite in progress, also has some unconnected fics within the same fic universe
Hatake Kakashi had a problem.
Some would argue that he has many problems but while they may be right, he's perfectly content ignoring them. And denial. He's very good at denial.
Well, this time, technically he had three genin-shaped problems, but right now his most troublesome - ah, he can practically feel the Nara cringing - problem is a student so covered in scented lotion, shampoo, and soap that she could qualify as an implement of torture.
This needed a kunoichi's touch.
Preferably one without a team of her own, definitely not someone who would traumatize them even more... Ah ha. He's a genius. Yes, Nagisa Asuka will be perfect.
Hopefully, she won't stab him when he asks. People often try to stab him. He wonders why.
Araceil: "Accidental Providence" (...) (Naruto/Neji) (000)
deleted fic, but I still have the google doc saved
An AU where Naruto graduated the first time he was at the academy and ends up on Gai's team with TenTen and Neji (in cannon he failed to graduate 3 times I think, and then after that the Mizuki thing happened)
*obviously since the fic was deleted, I don't have the official summary, so my own will have to do
Wolfy Tales: - “I Found You Missing” (Kakashi/Sakura) •
'They're asking us because these soldiers have absolutely no one left to write home to' Sakura thought with a frown. So she signs up for the Shinobi Letter Exchange, not realizing how large the consequences would be.
Mx. Irony: - “Curiosity and the Copycat” (...) (Kakashi/OC)
last update: 2020
Hatake Kakashi had a routine of sorts: train, complete missions, visit the Memorial, and read Icha Icha Paradise. Then that routine was interrupted by a nosy, overly friendly civilian.
Applecrumbledore: “Awful Wonderful” (Gai/Kakashi) •
Gai spoke at the reception that followed Kakashi's inauguration.
“My eternal rival—it has been one of the premiere joys of my life to watch you transform from the curious, brooding youth whom I admired into the intelligent, powerful and truly kind man who sits before me today, whom I am proud to respect and adore.” He raised his sake cup and it looked comically small in his big hands.
“To our Rokudaime.”
Adore. Kakashi turned the word over and over again in his head and tried to remember if Gai had said it before in all his flowery language about friendship. He couldn't.
Blackkat: - “Backslide” (Naruto/Kakashi+)
Naruto’s friends are gone, his lover is dying, Konoha is destroyed, and Madara’s second return has pushed the entire world to the brink. Hunted and harried, Naruto is sent back in time to upend Madara’s plan before it even starts, and sets about changing everything. Butterfly effect nothing: the world is at stake, and Naruto is hardly about to let it fall to ruin once more. Not while he’s still breathing.
Ideaoforder: - “Roots and Wings” (Kakashi/Iruka)
When Naruto is kidnapped from his orphanage at age three, Kakashi is so done with this shit. He gets Naruto back, tells the Hokage where to go (politely, because he isn't suicidal), and raises the boy himself. Or, you know, tries and is proud when there aren't too many explosions.
Then everybody starts to copy him and it's a whole thing.
Flialinginlove: - “The Bingo Book” (Kakashi/Iruka)
Kakashi avoided relationships. He didn't want to put others in danger. So he couldn't understand why there was a face staring back at him, as a sub-entry to his own, in this Bingo Book. Umino Iruka (lover) the caption read. It didn't matter that it wasn't true. The Book was fact, and to Kakashi's enemies, Iruka had just become a weakness they could exploit.
Flialinginlove: “Interested” (Kakashi/Iruka) •
Iruka sees Kakashi without his mask and suddenly seems a lot more interested in him than he's ever been before.
Flialinginlove: “Catching Lightning in a Bottle” (Kakashi/Iruka)♡
Iruka gets a little more than he bargained for when he summons his first demon.
Flialinginlove: “Scent and Sensibility” (Kakashi/Iruka)
In a world where most people identify their mates by scent the first time they meet, Kakashi and Iruka take a more scenic route.
Or, the one where Iruka does an excellent job of hiding the fact that he is an omega, right up until he gets stuck in a cave with Kakashi.
(A/B/O dynamics but without mpreg, dub-con, and rivers of gushing fluids, also trying to avoid overly stereotyped gender roles.)
Flialinginlove: Maldoror_gw: - “Spring Fever” (Kakashi/Iruka) •
*this one doesn't have a summary. which irritates me. and I can't be bothered writing one for it, that's just insulting. read it if u want, I remember liking it
Flialinginlove: “The Perfect Trap” (Kakashi/Iruka) •
*this one doesn't have a summary either. why.
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steddyhands modern au inspired by this post:
(1828 words, themes of kink but nothing explicit, established blackhands & gentlebeard-centric. Happy Pride!)
Stede picks up leatherworking in the wake of his divorce. He's not exactly sure how it ended up being such an important hobby for him, only that he had always admired the intricate designs on his horse's best bridles, and with little else to do with his time, he decides to give it a go.
It's rocky going at first, but he's having fun working with his hands for the first time in his life, and there's a sense of satisfaction in seeing the design come to life as he works. With practice, his skills improve, and he learns how to make things that are truly one of a kind.
He starts off posting his pieces online, as a way to reach fellow enthusiasts, but quickly finds himself with a rather large audience. Stede’s style is unique, and, after many requests from his followers, Lucius encourages him to make some more basic pieces he can sell. It's not about making money for Stede, but another way to meet new people who share his interests- as Lucius keeps telling him, it's sad that his personal assistant is the main person he talks to these days.
So Stede sets out on a new adventure, and has quite the time designing a new range of patterns for the market. He makes purses, belts, bracelets, and, most importantly, dog collars- all still with his unique designs embossed into them, of course. He rents a booth at his towns monthly craft fair, and very quickly finds himself with a new group of friends in the other regulars- Pete, his usual neighbour, who sells an array of wooden figures he carves, Roach, who runs a stand for his bakery, and Frenchie, who isn't actually a stallholder, but is almost always busking near his friend Wee John’s stand of knitted goods, bringing life to the market even in the pouring rain. There's also Buttons, another regular at the market. Nobody is exactly sure what he does there- he doesn't sell things, or seem to buy anything either, but rain or shine, he's there with the birds.
Stede’s been doing this a few months by the time June rolls around. As he's setting up his stand, he notices that the area is much busier than it’d normally be at this time of morning. Lucius, who got roped into helping run Stede’s stall somewhere down the line (despite his protests that this is not what personal assistant means… But hey, he got a boyfriend out of it, at least), reminds him that there's the parade today, too- not realising that Stede had no clue there was a parade today, and especially not that it was pride. Stede immediately jumps to fretting about the amount of stock he’s brought, and Lucius takes the cue to escape, saying he’ll go and grab them coffee (but really, he's off to flirt with Pete)
Lucius is still missing when Ed stumbles across the little leather stall. Stede’s just ran back to his car to fetch his last boxes of inventory, and by the time he returns, Ed’s already begun to narrow down his choices. Stede greets him, starting to tell him that they're not actually open yet, but before he gets more than a couple of words out, Ed’s exclaiming “You're a Kiwi!!!”
The two of them smile at the shared recognition, and Stede says he’ll make an exception, just for Ed, and asks him what exactly he was interested in. Ed tells him that he's looking for a collar “for his boy”, and points out the particular design he was looking at. It happens to be one of Stede’s favourites from this latest run of work, a fact he mentions to Ed. It leads them into a discussion about Stede’s craft, and Ed’s Izzy, and then everything in between. Ed’s listening intently to the things Stede’s telling him, completely drawn in by the process, and by Stede himself. He watches as Stede stamps Izzy's name into the collar, and Stede even lets him have a go at one of the stamps.
Lucius reappears sometime in the middle of this- only to immediately retreat again, seeing Stede engrossed with Ed. He sets up camp at Pete's booth opposite, watching this man flirt intensely with his boss- and Stede flirt back just as hard. Does Stede even realise he’s doing it? Lucius had known Stede was gay since before Stede even admitted it to himself, but this is on a whole other level.
The pair stand there so long that Izzy comes to look for Ed- the two of them are manning a float on the parade with their crew, and it's past time for them to get geared up. He's already worked up, frustrated to have been left to set up everything alone, when Ed had just gone to see if he could get them both coffee. So maybe he's a bit of a prick, approaching with a brash “where the fuck have you been, Edward”, to which Stede brings the same energy, giving a bitchy “Ed! Do you know this guy?” Izzy tenses, ready to snap, but then Ed cuts in, excitedly telling Stede that this is “his Izzy!” Which confuses the hell out of Stede.
Forgetting his earlier attitude, he asks Ed if he “really named his dog after his friend”, only to be met with confusion right back from Ed at where the hell Stede got the idea he had a dog from. Stede gestures at the bag with the collar in it, to which Ed has to tell him, “oh, no, that's for him.” Ed tells Stede that they're here to run a float for their local leather society, and while Stede is certainly shocked by what Ed’s saying, he's not finding himself… uninterested. It's simply that he’s never even considered any of this before, especially not that people would use the things that he made for this, but Ed sounds so enthusiastic about it all. He tells him about how his friends would love to see Stede’s work, about how classic leather gear is always so fucking boring- but not Stede’s stuff, no, Stede’s stuff is “fresh” and “fascinating” and unlike anything Ed’s ever seen before.
Ed's enthusiasm is incredibly infectious, so when he invites Stede to come back to see their float, he readily agrees. It’s a concept Izzy’s less than enthusiastic about. He doesn’t really want to bring this man who’s dressed like he just walked out of a HOA board meeting to their kinky little corner of the world, but he is having a lot of fun watching Stede squirm, so decides not to raise a protest. He does demand he gets his long-overdue coffee first, though (Stede pays for it- as “compensation for him distracting Ed from his job”, he says, not giving Izzy a second to process before he's tapping his card)
By the time they return to the float, Fang, Ivan & Jim are waiting for them, all already geared up. Stede is stunned silent at the sight for about 5 seconds, before he starts actually looking at the quality of Jim’s harness, and proceeds to go off about the poor quality of the craftsmanship, about how the hardware is tacky and completely the wrong choice with this leather, how his “ten year old daughter could do a better job!!!”
There's complete silence from the group, until Izzy, of all people, bursts into laughter at Stede’s audacity (and, the fact he was staring at Jim's tits completely unabashedly, like he hadn't even noticed them in the first place). Izzy's laughter sets Ed off as he tells the group about Stede’s misunderstanding- “you didn't say he was a person!” “I mean, he's my dog”- and soon everyone's having a friendly giggle at Stede’s mistake.
It's somewhere in the middle of the retelling that Ed remembers that this whole thing happened because he was buying Izzy a gift. After a moments fumbling, he presents Izzy with the collar- It's a rich, deep black, embossed with a rolling pattern that resembles waves. It’s made from a firm enough leather to take the tooling, and to remind Izzy that he’s owned while he’s wearing it, yet still soft enough for long term comfort. Izzy's eyes immediately lock on to it, an unreadable expression coming over his face, and Ed turns it; first so he can really see the design and Izzy’s name embossed into it, and then so he can see the small “Ed ♥” on the inside of the collar, right over his swallow tattoo.
“I did the heart,” Ed says to him softly, intended only for Izzy’s ears. Izzy's eyes flick up to Ed’s, and he raises his chin to give Ed the room to put it on. Ed buckles the collar around his neck almost reverently, a test of the tightness turning into a caress of Izzy's neck. It's a perfect fit.
It's as though something comes over Izzy; so twitchy and abrasive earlier, now silent, staring at Ed with a look akin to worship in his eyes. He obediently tilts his head for a kiss as Ed's fingers move to his chin- It's a sight to behold, and one that has Stede intrigued. He wants to know more about this lifestyle, and these men in particular. He wants to be the one to put that expression on Izzy's face.
The moment breaks as Ed and Izzy pull apart, and Ed calls for the crew to finish the last bits of set up. Izzy shakes himself a little before running off to bark orders again, but even still, there remains a softness to him that wasn't there before.
Ed turns back to Stede with an apologetic smile, already obvious that he has to get going. Before he can speak, however, Stede jumps in -“My business numbers on the card in the box… I'll be around all day”- Ed’s smile turns more genuine at that, promising to stop by if he gets a moment, and that he’ll send his friend's Stede’s way- “if he wants that kind of business.” Stede says that he does, actually- that he's seen a whole new world already today, and, while he was a little taken aback at first, he can feel the passion Ed and his friends have for this life. If there's one thing that's ever mattered to Stede, it's other people's enthusiasm. Maybe he doesn't completely understand yet, but he would like to try.
One year later, Stede’s back at the market on pride weekend again, far better stocked for the crowds this time around. Lucius is finally free to spend the day flirting with Fang & Pete to his heart's content, now that Stede’s roped his own boyfriends into helping him run the stall- and into modelling the merchandise. Ed loves that part, while Izzy needs a lot more convincing, but the puppy eyes Stede & Ed weaponise against him make a very good argument.
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