#was very definitely a budgetary thing

[rexbolt]

this is my rube ass old grandpa opinion but I prefer when video games keep voice acting to the "important" bits. I feel my brain shutting off so so so hard when they're slowly, mediocrely voicing every last inconsequential substory line. it draws out stuff that may not be worth paying attention to and/or would be better enjoyed at a reading pace over a speaking one. it takes very very good voice acting for me to not feel this way but so far the only game that's done this was bg3. sad

[god-i-hope-so]

Every time I read an anti-Bucktommy take it's like they don't understand what they're watching. Like, no understanding of how fiction works at all and a criminal lack of media literacy. And also unable to follow a simple story.

A tv show like 911 will never be like their favorite friends to lovers fics where everything they want to see on-screen is made into words, every little thought, every gesture is described in a flowery way, every single line is doctored to fit the fandom's expectations, using very specific tropes. This is fanwork, this is our business, we love it, we cherish it but this is our stuff.

911 is a tv show. It'll use many types of tv writing techniques to get to the point while having to deal with budgetary constraints, marketing needs, political restrictions and more. Could they have done a better job with reintroducing Tommy? Absolutely. Does it work as it is? Of course, if we're actually looking at what and how they tell on-screen.

A (long) BuckTommy timeline.

🚁 7x03 - Tommy and Buck meet on the day of the rescue, even before we see Buck, Chim and Eddie in the chopper. They first meet off-screen. We don't know what happened then, we don't know how they looked at each other, if they smiled at each other, if they even talked directly to each other. But they met before we see them in the chopper.

We know by what happens later that Tommy makes a strong impression on Buck (who is already in the middle of a real life crisis). We can also assume that Tommy is attracted to Buck based on his looks (and probably also affinity, they do the same job, never underestimate the homoerotic power of male camaraderie), something we also understand later, so it works (but also, the way he looks at Buck at the end of this episode is a subtle hint.) Don't forget that writers know in advance things we don't, that's why we can go back and find the breadcrumbs we didn't notice before or couldn't make a connection with yet.

🔥 Buck wants to know more about Tommy and his work. This is where you, as the audience, should fill the gap based on what we saw before and what comes next. This is where you should be able to do that instead of wanting everything on-screen the same way you put everything in a fanfic. This gap you fill because you're supposed to understand how average tv storytelling works leads to the following point.

🚁 7x04 - Buck contacts Tommy, he gets to visit Harbor. At this point, we can clearly see Tommy is acting flirty in a very subtle and respectful way, because he doesn't really know what's the deal with Buck, but remember the way he looked at Buck in 7x03? Then there's Buck acting... weird. What's his real purpose here? And this was before he even knew Tommy and Eddie were BFF, so Buck was already attracted to Tommy whatever his connection with the 118 crew, even if the real reason was blurry even to Buck himself.

🔥 7x04 - Tommy is now someone they interact with regularly. Tommy is now slowly working his way (back) into the 118 group. He finds a good friend in Eddy (strangely I don't see anyone questioning that. How is that easier than having a simple, passive crush?), apparently spends a lot of time with him, and knows Christopher because he went to Eddie's house 3 times. Eddie definitely knows more about Tommy than Buck at this point.

🚁 7x04 - Buck is clearly troubled by Tommy. Then there's this whole jealousy circus going on, Buck is a mess, his insecurities are breaking the roof and he's more troubled than ever. Is he jealous of Eddy or Tommy? Or both? (it's both) He wants to be the center of the attention. If he feels he's losing this, people will discard him. So he does some stupid shit. And you can see his feelings are also all over the place. But there's more than just fighting for attention, and that's probably why he's slowly starting to be angry. Because what he feels is different and he can't put his finger on it.

The discussion with Maddie clearly shows how he's chewing on his own heart. He didn't want what he had to change and he acted like a kid with big feelings and little control of himself.

🔥 7x04 - Tommy, who's having a passive crush on Buck, takes the matter in hands and kisses him. Tommy having a crush is not less normal than Buck flirting with basically any cute girl showing interest in him. Being more mature, he meets Buck to set things straight, after having talked about it with Eddie. It's not out of nowhere. Eddie and Tommy are not stupid, and Eddie knows Buck. He saw something was wrong. Tommy, being the new addition to their dynamic, thought it was his fault (I think Eddie and Tommy really felt guilty about going to Vegas and leaving Buck just like that lmao That was so bad for Buck's confidence, I felt it in my bones). Excuses turn to clearing the air turn to let's go for it.

Tommy really took a gamble there. If Buck wasn't what he thought he was, it could have been so bad. So, so bad for Tommy and his job. Imagine Buck accusing Tommy of assault? But he took the risk of kissing him because he has more experience and knows how to read the signs. He's not 15, he has experience with men, and closeted men for sure.

And you know, this is a beautiful scene for Buck as a character. The way he realizes why he did all that, what it means about him, for him. I mean, he knew, in a way, but he didn't know. And Tommy was suddenly everywhere in his life, overwhelming while doing nothing. You have to understand that everything is happening in Buck's head and he needed just a little push to open his eyes.

Buck's queer path: unlocked.

🚁 7x05 - First date, first mess but also first lesson. At this point, you can't even doubt about Tommy's intentions anymore. Buck might still be in a blurry phase but Tommy is not sending mixed signals at all (not with that choice of shirt, let me tell you this. My man was set to hit that night). Buck panicked, Tommy even tried to keep him on tracks for the evening, but between meeting Eddie and what it made Buck say... I mean, Tommy could have had a stronger reaction. Why accept the date if you can't deal with it?

But Tommy knows why, he's been there. Buck liked the idea of the date, but once you're there, everything becomes real. So once again, a little push: Tommy is honest and prefers to part ways, but not without saying why. He's not even mad. At this point, Buck really needs to take another step. It's difficult to drag someone else into your own fog. He has all the rights to be troubled, to doubt, to be scared, but you don't drag someone else in this with you. Tommy protected himself from that, also protected Buck from doing something he'd regret, and he did it with guidance.

🔥 7x05 - Buck talks with Maddie about his date and comes out to her, but more importantly: Buck comes out to Eddie. Look. This is canon, and I know we can choose to ignore canon but both scenes are great. And it's still canon. Maddie is obviously accepting and happy for Buck, and we expected no less from her.

With Eddie, I honestly expected at least some discussion like are you sure? or something like that but I think that at this point, everyone at the 118 knows that there's more to Buck than meets the eye. I'd have loved this scene to be longer with more exchange between Eddie and Buck but it is what it is, and Eddie is supportive of his best friend (yes, sorry, their canon relationship is best friends and I love their friendship, even more now that Buck is out).

And yes, this is even more important to show not only a strong friendship between a supposedly cishet man and a bisexual man but also, and we'll see that later, Eddie still trusts Buck around Chris. Nothing changed. So many people associate queer people with predators, we need to see queer people, and especially queer men, being trusted around children, and being safe. This is the right representation.

I know bvddies are trying to find any reason to make this storyline choice look like shit, because they want their ship to sail (and I completely understand wanting that), but accusing the people who like Buck and Tommy together of being homophobes because they cherish the canon beautiful friendship between Buck and Eddie?? We're not talking about headcanons here, about reading between the lines, or being "coded" a certain way (sorry, for me Eddie is not gay-coded. He's a-spec for sure, and I'm going for being demi, but gay? I don't see it anymore at this point of the show). It's about the canon. You know, at this point, things are already moving into place, even if you don't like Buck and Tommy together. This is where canon is at, this is the story. It's not a personal attack against anyone in the fandom.

🚁 7x05 - Buck wants to apologize to Tommy for the failed date, and for his behavior. Oh, accountability, my beloved. We love to see Buck working on himself. This is the real start of whatever will happen from now on between Buck and Tommy. Buck knows he's ready to embrace this new part of himself and he feels like Tommy is the right person to do that with.

Tommy being Tommy, he makes sure Buck knows what all this means. Buck is not a teenager, Tommy treats him as an equal but he also knows how it feels to be in Buck's shoes.

🔥 7x06 - Tommy, a responsible adult, makes time for Buck (and Chim!) even when he clearly could, and maybe should, just decline. This part was used way too often against Tommy by BoBs. Tommy is a fire pilot on call the night of the bachelor party. A FIRE PILOT ON CALL. Do you think his main goal that night is to have fun? Or is it to be a responsible adult who could well be saving lives (while risking his) the same night? Do you know what it means to be on call? You're basically working without being at work, the second your job needs you, you have to be 100% ready. Again, he's a fire pilot (even if he's also sent on ground work that night). His first job would be to pilot a freaking helicopter and accomplish tasks that requires skills, precision and to not be half asleep. You don't play with that responsibility.

So Tommy showing up is indeed huge. He does it for Buck, and for Chim, but definitely for Buck in the first place. He could have stayed home to get some sleep while waiting. Instead of that, not only he doesn't sleep but he ends up fighting a fire for hours. And the first thing people used against him was that he didn't follow the dress code?! No, you guys need to grow up and live a bit more of real life.

And then we have The Kiss (please someone draw them as The Kiss by Klimt, every fandom needs its Kiss fanart). And once again, it's Tommy making time for Buck, and Chim, when he could be home, take a good shower and be in his cozy bed after working on a fire for more than what, 14 hours? This is a man who knows his priorities. And responsible men are sexy as hell, even when it means they can't have fun like everyone else.

Now, if after all this, and mind you, this is all canon, you still think Tommy is a fraud in this storyline, that his budding romance with Buck has no foundation or that he doesn't care about Buck? And don't even get me started on the "but he was a racist and a misogynist before". Yes, he was. And yes, he changed. Like I said: learn to know his character, but also trust Hen. The fact is that at this point of the story, Tommy is great for Buck. He's kind, he's safe, he's trying even when there's no expectations. Be happy for great representation.

Oh, and don't use your hate against the ship or Tommy to be a nasty little shit with the actors and writers. Decency is free.

[idleglowingpixels]

I kinda realised that Mr Komos' song, True Monster Heart follows the same beat as the Monster High Fright song, but the lyrics are like the corrupted version of the original.

Monster High Fright is about accepting

True Monster Heart is about rejecting

Kinda interesting when you think about it

AHHHHHH WHEN I SAW I GOT AN ASK RELATED TO THIS I FREAKED OUT DFGHNBGVFDSF TY FOR GIVING ME SOMETHING TO RAMBLE SOME MORE ABOUT ANON FOR REAL! (Also sorry for the late response, this post has been developing in my drafts for like at least a week now dfgfhng)

I absolutely agree with the conflicting messages between the two songs! I know the song focuses on the story of this universe's Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in the main verses, but the main focus of the song is that message of rejection of anything and everything human.

Also, because of the Jekyll/Hyde bits, it could represent the duality of where the story starts and ends in its interpretation of a "true monster heart." Instead of Mr. Hyde's human-ness making his heart "untrue," it was his utter rejection of & research into ridding himself of his Jekyll, as well as his hiding of the truth in the first place that caused him to be found out and exiled.

His heart being "untrue" had nothing to do with the fact he was half-human, because if it were, then Clawdeen and Komos's presence in and of itself within the school would've triggered its self-destruction. That was proven as a false interpretation by the story in the movie, so it's self-explanatory. A true monster heart is one of self-acceptance, despite one's flaws or differences. That's what Mr. Hyde, and Mr. Komos thereafter, had neglected to realize before Clawdeen proved the point.

Though, I've listened to both True Monster Heart and Fright Song a few times back-to-back, to try and get where you're thinking as far as the beat, but I don't hear it unfortunately (unless you meant the tempo of the song, then yes they do follow the same 120 beats per minute!).

The closest thing I can think of as far as melodic parallels between the songs is the chanting sections. The Fright Song chant is much quicker in the way it's sung compared to the chant in True Monster Heart, however. The whole of Fright Song's chant goes in 16 beats/4 measures, whereas True Monster Heart's chant takes twice as long at 32 beats/8 measures (I was a band/choir kid lol). It's mainly due to how the song kinda drags out the point, and it definitely feels like a nod to Fright Song for sure. Fright Song's chant is only there because 4/5 of the main ghouls were fearleaders, so it was sort of characterizing the cast before actually showing their characters in the webisodes.

---

Fun little headcanon/ramble that I forget if I ever mentioned about Fright Song, but with Holt Hyde being released in the 1st Signature wave with the rest of the the main ghouls and all, I think it was because he's intended to be the singer of the rap section before any subsequent content with the character was released (No offense but I don't think Holt DJs because he's a good singer sdfgbfds). This would line up with his current crush in canon with Frankie, as well as his former crush on Draculaura from either the diaries or books, maybe both? I forget. :'D Also I feel like Holt wouldn't hesitate to call Cleo vile immediately after saying she's charming either, he's very direct with his words. (I also interpret Jackson/Holt as bisexual because Deuce is included in the rap I DON'T CARE Y'ALL IT MAKES SENSE!)

Also I always interpreted the howl-like sound at the end of the rap as "Holt ran outta time/battery power for his music and transforms back to Jackson as it transitions to the rest of the song." It kinda works with how the beat kinda drops down with the howl, like a TV being shut off or something idk.

Ghoulia also debuted with Signature Wave 1 but she's only in like a second of the music video in the background, I figure it could've been budgetary reasons for the animation, to save on animating an extra character. Also I imagine flame-y hair wouldn't be very fun to animate in 2D, and Deuce's snakes moving on their own were bad enough I imagine to animate, so it begrudgingly checks out as to why Holt isn't in the animated bits with everyone else.

BUT I JUST WATCHED THE MUSIC VIDEO BECAUSE I WANTED TO FOR THE SAKE OF THIS POST AND THE GUY SINGING THE RAPPING BIT HAS, YOU GUESSED IT, A BRIGHT FRICKIN NEON RED LEATHER JACKET. He doesn't have the dual-toned shirt BUT IT'S WHITE AND THIS IS CLOSE ENOUGH FOR ME Y'ALL! XD

If any straws for these dumbasses can be found I SHALL GRASP THEM fr they're my blorbos :'D

[rose-tinted-vision]

Final thoughts on Dashing Youth now that I'm awake and slightly more coherent than I was last night

spoilers under the cut

I'll just preface this by saying that I am not a huge fan of the romance genre, though i can appreciate a well-written romance, like The Double or A Journey to Love.

Just. Romance that doesn't completely overshadow the plot- though i guess it was the core of Baili Dongjun's reason for entering the jianghu and all, I just find that in this case it wasn't very compelling?

That aside, I'd say that the scriptwriting was a little lacking but the actors were great!! Especially the supporting cast (⁠☆⁠▽⁠☆⁠)!!

That said, I'm going to say that I love Hou Minghao, him being the lead was one of the reasons why I was so excited for Dashing Youth, but his character as Baili Dongjun didn't shine as much as his portrayal of Wang Ye (imo). I'm not sure whether it's the plot or characterization, because they're both very different characters and I'm definitely over my idealistic overpowered MC phase.

Also a little disappointed that they didn't give us more fighting scenes (was it budgetary reasons????) because they just kinda glossed over quite a bit of it except the YDZ scenes (⁠个⁠_⁠个⁠)

As for the ending, while I'm glad that they didn't explicitly state that LMS and the rest were going to die, I'm now wondering if it would've made more of an impact if they did, because the ending just seemed rather anticlimactic to me (or maybe it's because I wasn't a major YeBai/Ye Dingzhi fan)...

tldr; a little disappointed, i definitely preferred the "I'm broke" line to the "looking for romance" group, though I did like the supporting cast in Dashing Youth a lot more compared to the ones in The Blood of Youth. Am I still going to write fics for them anyway? probably.

because atp I definitely was just watching for the side characters so (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠)

ok one thing i liked was how they connected some things to the Blood of Youth though, like the agreement at the end between Baili Dongjun and Mo Qixuan definitely explains why it was Tang Lian delivering Wuxin

Rewatch worthy? maybe in a year or two

[prisoner-000]

Hey, here's a fun question: Which lines are sung visually/directly by the characters in each MILGRAM MV?

T1:

Weakness: Haruka's 'Ah, ah, ah's' are also shown in video form in the chorus. He definitely does have that manner of laughing in canon, but I'm not sure there's much to say about it. He has every disease

Umbilical: No lines are sung/said. This might resemble Yuno's whole 'innocent girl with little agency' thing that people saw her as at first. She doesn't even get to say anything in her own story.

Bring It On: Nope. No lines sung/said. Like with Yuno, I think this might be taking away from Fuuta's agency on purpose. To portray him as more of a follower that got out of hand instead of the group leader. Though this may also be a budgetary issue, as Milgram's animation was pretty limited at first, they couldn't afford much lipsync animation.

After Pain: Arguably, her part with holding on to Rei's sleeve can be lip-read as 'I'm sorry/gomenasai' which would sync up with 'gomen' in her lyrics, though I think it's supposed to be more of a parallel than a direct spoken line. It's still a very fun detail that I don't see people talk about that much!

Throw Down: No spoken lines. This time, I think it's just Shidou putting up that barrier between the audience and what actually happened with his backstory, making it more vague and unclear.

TIHTBILWY: "I'm sorry!" In the scene where Mahiru looks at the camera, and maybe also her monologue on the phone? The lipsync doesn't quite match up, but it's possible. The fact that the only proper thing she says is "I'm sorry" hurts, though: She really does know she did something horrible and wants to atone for it, but doesn't know how.

half: "The curse of reuniting with you puts a dagger in my heart; I imagined you saying "See you" was the same as "It's over"; Only if your heart would change, but that's not possible; Please tell me what I should do, feelings shrouded in lies will float and away and disappear" (essentially: the entire chorus). It's notable how this is all sung during Kazui's performance on stage, once while wearing his mask, once without.

Magic: "See?" (From 'See, isn't it a great thing?') and "God/Wise One" ("Kami-sama" from 'Dear Wise One, is this ok?'). To me, the 'See?' is directed at herself, convincing herself that the things that happened to her were actually good. The whole song is just Amane trying to justify all the horrible things she went through.. And the visual cue just makes that more obvious :(.

MeMe: "Why am I here? It must be a mistake, right? Take a good look at me" and "Never forgive" (from "I will NEVER forgive you if this is happening to me even though I'm right"). First one is pretty self-explanatory, I feel like the second one has some implications about Mikoto's judgment of other people, mayhaps.

HARROW: No spoken lines! Due to the lines being more general in establishing Kotoko's goals and not really towards any one person in particular, it might have been awkward to fit a speech segment into the video. So. Hmm.

T2

All-Knowing and All-Agony: No lines are sung directly except for mayyybe an "Ah" in the middle. I think they might be trying to highlight Haruka's tendency to Ah, eh, hm, in his speech mannerisms, with these being his only visually spoken lines.

Tear Drop: "Shut up" (from "Just shut it, will you? You know it all") and "So nauseating... So creepy... will you please disappear". These are very clearly said to a person in particular; though also possibly just her clients that infantilize her in general. Love that these lines get emphasis considering Yuno's character.

Backdraft: "So worthless!/What a load of crap!" and "Come up to the ring and face me!". Very much still Fuuta's tough guy act talking to the people that judged him.

It's Not My Fault: "We are just the same" (from "I am doing this just because I'm bored, we are just the same" and "I'm always so pitiable!" (Translated as "I'm always the drama queen" but this sucks as a translation so.. lol). Aimed at Rei, mayhaps? The first line carries some very interesting implications with it. Wasn't here for the drop of this MV so it's probably already been analyzed to death..

Triage: "I want to be forgiven, I want to live!" Ohh Shidou.. be careful with that developing savior complex. Basically Triage's whole message summed up into two lines.

I Love You: Just a simple sigh. She's too exhausted to say anything more than that.

Cat: "Phew, wow, I'm drunk.. Hey, if I said I liked you, what would you do?" and arguably him breathing out smoke/sighing at the end. Infamous confession scene. IMO, this is still him confessing his feelings for his friend, which leads to that insane downwards spiral that ruins his life.

The Purge March: No lines spoken. Due to most of the MV taking place before the murder but the lyrics being about her motivation for murder... Yeah, it's natural no lyrics are visually said. (Since they also want to keep her actual murder scene vague).

That's all we've got so far!! Hope you enjoyed :-) if you have any thoughts feel free to add on!

[qqueenofhades]

With full acknowledgement that you're not actively looking for prompts from the spoopy season list, I do want to do my part as a self-confessed enabler and say that assorted pairings from the Bartimaeus series would lend themselves very well to Fall Semester, Dim Cobbled Street, Chilly Evening, Stargazing, or anything Beyond the Veil related :)

By now, it's Kitty's third year teaching at the University of London, but the first day of term is always extremely strange. She's almost (almost, but not quite) stopped feeling like an interloper, surrounded by chattering commoner students who are just young enough to not fully grasp what a miracle it is that they are here, able to actually study their own country's past in something approaching honest detail. That's Kitty's job, as it's been since she came on as a fixed-term lecturer and has only just, budgetary approval pending, been made the formal offer to convert it into a permanent appointment. However, she isn't sure if she's going to take it. Teaching The History of the Magicians' Empire, 20th-21st Centuries is beyond any doubt important work. She just doesn't know if it's the rest of her life's work.

She ducks into the ladies' loo, checking her makeup. She doesn't usually wear it, but it helps her feel more confident at the front of a lecture theater, and smooths out some of the disunity between her face and her actual age. The silver threads in her dark hair and the lines around her eyes, lasting legacies of the Other Place, make her look an attractive forty, forty-plus. She's barely twenty-five. She doesn't tell the students; it's easier to command their respect if they think she is considerably their senior, instead of barely. They call her Dr. Jones, which is -- well, technically, whenever she gets around to submitting her final revisions on the long-reworked PhD thesis, also a comprehensive and deeply unflattering history of the magicians' empire -- true. She hasn't entirely let go of the fear that a black car will speed up, throw a bag over her head or an imp in an orb, and make her suffer for the things she says, but she says them anyway.

Kitty decides that she looks presentable, clicks up the marble stairs of Senate House in her high heels (another unfortunate concession to women's fashion, definitely not good for climbing fences or staging illegal break-ins -- not that she does that anymore, or at least not very often) and steps into her classroom. It goes well, as much as the first day does. She dashes down to the canteen for lunch, has another class in the afternoon, and by the time she steps out in a chilly rain around four PM, fumbling for her brolly, she wonders if this will be the year she finally stops feeling so damn disconnected from everything and everyone. Maybe she should try again to meet someone, but it's so hard. She doesn't even know who an age-appropriate partner would be. Men in their twenties are rancid; men in their forties are either freaked out when they discover her actual age, or creepily, perversely intrigued. She's not opposed to dating women; maybe she should give that a try. But it's still just a giant --

"Hello, Kitty."

She looks up with a jolt, almost spilling the contents of her purse across the wet cobblestones of the courtyard. She hasn't seen the slight dark-skinned boy, wearing a too-large hooded sweatshirt and floppy trainers, until just now, and she opens her mouth to ask if he's one of her students, though he looks barely old enough for sixth form. But then she catches sight of his eyes, she sees his face, and she knows beyond any doubt. It's been a long time since she's seen him, four or five years at least. She assumes he's been enjoying a well-earned rest in the Other Place, or at least she hopes. But this --

"Bartimaeus." Her voice sounds croaky. She swallows. Of course he looks the same; Ptolemy never ages, and neither do djinn. "I... hello."

He smiles thinly, an eclipsed fingernail, acknowledging that he's startled her. "I see you've gone legitimate these days."

"More or less." Kitty is still thrown from the shock of his appearance, like something from an old life she's almost forgotten, and she can feel her heart racing in her throat. "Coming to check up on me? Make sure I'm not throwing smoke bombs in the classroom?"

"Entirely your own business how you decide to teach the nippers." Bartimaeus tips a cheeky wink -- almost, if not quite, as sardonically uncaring as his old ones. "Suspect a few bombs of any variety could only liven the place up."

Kitty can't really argue with that. It's a miracle that they're letting a former Resistance member in the building at all, and she is always braced for someone calling her to the Head of School's office like a misbehaving child. She looks at him, and he looks at her. Neither of them seems to know what to do. Then casually, as if it's nothing to him either way, Bartimaeus says, "D'you fancy a drink?"

"I -- " Kitty thinks about that. She can't see why not. And she's missed him, more than she can articulate or even admit. Him, and --

Well, never mind. It's no good dwelling on what can never come back. At least she can talk to this one. At least while she still has time.

"Yeah," she says. "Yeah, I think I would."

Bartimaeus, of course, doesn't actually drink. He pays for hers and a plate of supper (no use asking where he got the wallet or the quid), and sits in the booth across from her, watching with those unblinking dark eyes. When she's gotten enough food down her to be moderately more sociable, she says, "I didn't -- I hope you're not back here because you've been enslaved again, are you?"

"No." Bartimaeus shrugs. "Not really anyone who dares to do that any more, not that I miss it. But the gate works both ways, you know. You went to the Other Place, so I can come to your world when I please, without a summoning or a master. Normally I pop down in spring, closer to when -- well." He pauses, as if about to wag an admonitory finger. "Don't get me wrong, now. I don't miss it."

"Course you do." Kitty wipes her mouth. "How else would you add new glorious deeds to your many names?"

Bartimaeus blinks, as if unsure whether she's actually daring to tease him. Then he chuckles wryly, though those eyes still remain dark and liquid and deep as the abyss. "I suppose there's that. Though it does feel as if I've had my fill of bloody glorious deeds for a bit. Any other idiots taken over the world while I've been gone?"

"Not yet. Not as far as I know." Kitty fingers the half-empty beer glass. She wonders if she should ask about that pause earlier, that quickly skipped-over moment. Normally I pop down in spring, closer to when the Glass Palace came down. It is probably just her imagination that that is how that sentence would have ended. Does Bartimaeus, despite all the fraught history between himself and his final master, return to Earth to pay his quiet respects on the anniversary of Nathaniel's death? Or is that Kitty's lonely pilgrimage alone?

"I'm sure there will be some eventually," she says belatedly, to Bartimaeus's expectant expression. "Just not now."

Bartimaeus snorts, a remarkably eloquent and wordless remark that when it comes to the fucking British, an idiot who will attempt to take over the world is never far away. He clears his throat. "You doing anything besides teaching a bunch of commoners how awful the last lot were? Seeing anyone?"

"No." Kitty had briefly thought about moving to Prague and reconnecting with Jakob Hyrnek, but it was only a stillborn fantasy, then and gone. "Why? You're not about to ask me out, are you?"

"What? Me?!" Bartimaeus's outrage is a little too instant and piquant to be, perhaps, entirely real. "A human? Even you?! Never. I'd rather hang myself upside down from silver meathooks and let Faquarl play Little Drummer Boy on my backside. No offense."

"Of course not. No." And yet for an unnerving moment, Kitty finds herself actually considering it. He can take on any shape, he can be anyone, he's the only person (or person-like creature) who understands everything about her, and it would spare her the drudgery of finding any kind of human mate. But no, of course not. It's silly, absurd, unthinkable. Especially if she was so cruel as to ask him to, perhaps, take on the shape and soul of --

Kitty seizes her glass and drinks harder, just to get that image out of her mind. She finishes her meal, and when they step out into a chilly dim evening, London fog twining through the busy streets as it has done in any age of the world and effacing the faint stars, Bartimaeus clears his throat awkwardly. "Actually, I thought -- well. Stupid, really, but speaking of the magicians and studying the things they used to be. I, er. I have something I could show you. If you're interested."

"Something to show me?" Kitty blinks. She supposes that she could pop in, take a look at it, make a note for academic purposes. See if it's something she can talk to her students about, the struggle to make them actually visualize what it was like. Most of the time, she's firmly convinced that it's good that they can't imagine it, that it's not an everyday part of their lived experience. Other times, it is so profoundly alienating that she can hardly breathe.

"Sure." Yet again, Bartimaeus sounds as if he's trying a little too hard to be casual, unaffected, gliding through his endless life with a theatrical twirl, a well-timed Detonation, and a sparkling witticism -- as much a hollow shell as Kitty Jones is, something essential hollowed out and the soul not quite what it used to be, permanently put just to one side. "If you want to, of course. This way."

******

The djinn leads her to some small side-street of the kind that exist by the dozens in London: narrow, cobbled, dim and twisted, flower boxes overhanging from seventeenth-century townhouses that lean together unsteadily like drunken revelers at the pub. There's an art gallery at the end, the kind that looks legitimate but is notorious for fencing old magical artifacts by the bushel, and Kitty opens her mouth to ask if Bartimaeus has brought her here for old times' sake, to break the window and clean the place out. She's not opposed, but she'll at least need to cover her tracks. She doesn't customarily keep that stuff around anymore, either. Maybe she should?

Bartimaeus, however, doesn't appear to have larceny in mind (at least not tonight). He unlocks the door and deftly disables the alarm, which these days is more likely to be a commoner device than a lurking foliot, and they step inside. The place is quiet, dusty, and Kitty has no idea what they're doing here. "Are we supposed to -- "

"Shh." Bartimaeus comes to a halt at the far wall, which is hung with several age-darkened oil portraits of magicians; they are all sporting old-fashioned ruffs and constipated expressions. Since that can't possibly be what he's brought her to see, Kitty frowns, until she notices what's hanging next to it. A full-length mirror filled with oddly nebulous smoke, something that even she -- with her very limited talent, never like the others -- can sense is real magic. She looks at Bartimaeus, utterly lost, and he beckons her. "Here."

Kitty hesitates, decides that he probably wouldn't push her through a portal to some nefarious underworld without at least some warning, and steps up, as he backs away. For a long moment, nothing. All she can see in the mirror is her own pale, tired, too-old face, matching more the full century that she feels than the mere quarter of it that she is. Then she catches sight of something moving in its depths. Walking steadily, coming closer, until it takes shape and form. Until the mirror has become clear and insubstantial as air, as a fluttering veil, and she can feel the chill on her face, breathed from somewhere that is neither the Other Place nor London. A different world altogether, a different gate. It's not --

It can't be --

But then he's standing right in front of her, almost close enough to touch if she reached out and risked her own hand turning to bare and skeletal bone, and it is.

"Hello, Kitty," Nathaniel says, in almost the exact same tone Bartimaeus used. "Long time no see."

Kitty's tongue is locked to the roof of her mouth. She can't speak or move. She thinks wildly that this is a trick -- this isn't Nathaniel, just some strange shade inexplicably summoned out of the mirror's depths, or at most his long-dead fetch -- but just then, it almost seems possible that it is. He looks older than he was when he died: still pinched, thin, dark-haired and pasty-pale, but a man, not a boy. She doesn't know if that's another illusion conjured by her own perception, her own mind trying to picture how he would look now, if he had lived. Just like her, he looks too old for his body, but... handsome. Wise. Serene. All the things he never was in life, as if the ever after has bestowed the learning he drove himself crazy attempting to acquire. They stand there gaping in mutually and excruciatingly awkward silence, like two old friends who ran into each other in the street and aren't sure what to say. Are they friends? It seems like the wrong word, as if they speed-ran right past that and became much more and much less. Possibilities only. Nothing else.

"Nathaniel," Kitty manages at last. "You look... dead. Well. I mean well. For being dead. If you are."

"I am." Something flickers in his eyes, half wry humor and half unbearable grief. "You can have my word on that. Honestly, I'm not sure how we're managing to speak -- wait, you're not -- ?"

"No." His flash of sudden concern is slightly searing, and Kitty doesn't let herself think about it. "I'm in London. There's a mirror. I don't know how he found it, but that's probably beside the -- "

Nathaniel's unearthly eyes flick sideways and spot the dark figure lounging just out of frame. He smiles, shakes his head. "I should have guessed. Hello, Bartimaeus."

"Boss." Bartimaeus snaps off a louche salute, but his eyes are still on Nathaniel in the mirror. "Wasn't actually sure it was going to work this time. It didn't for me -- can you imagine it? It's as if it didn't even know who I am -- but I thought Kitty might have a crack at it."

"You were actually trying to see me again?" Nathaniel raises a skeptical, elegant eyebrow. "That must be a first."

"Yeah, yeah. Shut up. Don't read too much into it." Bartimaeus huffs, hands jammed into his too-tight dungaree pockets. "Look. Here you are. You've seen us. We've seen you. Lots of seeing going on, Natty boy. Now you can faff off and be defunct again."

"It's interesting on this side," Nathaniel informs the djinn. "Very interesting. Plenty to study, to learn, to look at. Not really defunct."

"Well." Bartimaeus seems nonplussed -- and though this too is surely Kitty's imagination, slightly choked up. "I'm, er. Glad you're enjoying it. The benefits of your heroic sacrifice, and all."

A pause, weighted between three worlds, three creatures, three planes of existence. The three of them glance at each other, unsure whether to fall back into their old barbed banter or whether this moment is entirely something else, far past all ordinary divisions or decisions. Then Kitty steps closer, raising her hand as if to reach through the veil, though she knows that she can't. Nathaniel does the same, mirroring her gesture like her own reflection -- which technically, she supposes numbly, he is. "You look good," he says, simply and without pretension. "Beautiful, actually."

"I... thanks." At one point she would have loudly scoffed that off, but it slips the lock into her raw, hunkered-down heart and softly turns the key. "Nathaniel, I -- "

"Yes?"

She wants to say so much that she can't, that she can't get her tongue around, even when he's miraculously standing right in front of her, even or perhaps especially because she knows that he has to go. His eyes are as deep and patient as the sea, as the starless shores of the world after death, a place where he still can surface from, but not very often, and not for long. Their fingers ghost as close as they can without touching, they raise their other hands to do the same, and for once, Bartimaeus offers no sardonic comment or other inopportune interruption to break the moment. Kitty almost thinks she can feel Nathaniel's breath on her cheek, but she can't. He has no breath, and it is only the cold chill of death. Their eyes, their noses, their lips are just a few inches apart. If she took the plunge, if she kissed him, if she leapt through the veil right now --

It's an unsettling, alluring feeling, like walking too near the edge of the cliff and being possessed with the urge to jump, and she can't. Not now, not for a while. She swallows, struggles to clear her throat. "It's good to see you, Nathaniel," she says, and steps back, as if to divorce herself from the temptation that still pulls at her hand, that tells her to go through, to learn even more than him, to solve the one mystery that she or her students alike will never know without being so themselves. "We won't... we won't keep you long here. On this side."

Something flashes over his face that she can't read, something that is only the secrets of the dead, that perhaps he could not tell her even if he tried. He smiles. "No," he says gently. "No, you won't."

[twistedtummies2]

Year of the Bat - Number 3

Welcome to Year of the Bat! In honor of Kevin Conroy, Arleen Sorkin, and Richard Moll, I’ve been counting down my Top 31 Favorite Episodes of “Batman: The Animated Series” throughout this January. We’re now in the Top 3 of the countdown! TODAY’S EPISODE QUOTE: “Look at us. We’re all freaks and monsters? And who made us this way? BATMAN!” Number 3 is…Trial.

“Who made who?” This is not only a quote from a very fine song by AC/DC, but it is a recurring question found and toyed with in a variety of ways throughout superhero fiction. Do the heroes create the villains, or do the villains create the heroes? Does extreme heroic action, that which already tends to bend the law (if not break it completely) result in higher extremes of crime and cruelty? Or does the existence of such evil in the world beget the need for heroes who will go to greater lengths to stop them? Is it, perhaps, a hint of both, or could it even be neither and it’s all sheer bizarre coincidence; that these things would probably happen regardless? While basically every superhero franchise worth its salt dives into this question somehow, some way, at some point, Batman is one of the characters who perhaps most embodies this fundamental problem: keep in mind, most of Batman’s greatest villains – especially in B:TAS – only came on the scene after Batman, himself, arrived. Does his presence in Gotham in some way inspire evil, or is it the presence of said evil that necessitates his constant intervention? “Trial” is one of my favorite pieces to address this question. Originally planned to be a movie, the story was tightened up to be just another episode of the show (I think budgetary reasons might have been the cause, but I can’t prove or be certain of that). While one does wish the episode could have been expanded on in feature format, I think the final result more than stands up on its own terms. The story focuses on Gotham’s new district attorney (replacing Harvey Dent), Janet Van Dorn. She greatly disapproves of Batman’s involvement with law enforcement, not at all impressed by his many feats of saving Gotham City, and frustrated with Commissioner Gordon’s alliance with the Dark Knight. In her mind, Batman is responsible for the rise of super-criminals in the city, and she openly admits that nothing would bring her greater pleasure than to put the Caped Crusader on trial. As the old saying goes, “be careful what you wish for”: Van Dorn and Batman both find themselves captured by a horde of Gotham Rogues, who have staged a coup to take over Arkham Asylum, using the Mad Hatter’s mind control technology to brainwash the staff. The Villains reveal they plan to put Batman on trial: the Joker is the Judge, Two-Face is the Prosecutor…and Janet Van Dorn is forced to act as Batman’s Defense. The irony speaks for itself.

Where do I start with what’s awesome about this episode, aside from the obvious novelty of the premise? Well, for one thing, if you love Batman Villains, then you definitely will enjoy this story, because almost every major rogue in the gallery appears in some capacity in this episode. Some, like Scarecrow and the Riddler, are non-speaking cameos, but a lot of the others actually get a fair bit of screentime and some great character interactions and dialogue. Seeing all these villains bounce off each other, as well as our two protagonists, is just a great deal of fun. I also love all the little humorous elements and hidden jokes in the episode: things like the Mad Hatter being the first witness (a direct and subtle reference to the Wonderland books), the Joker being the judge (which I think may have been a reference to a comic, but could also be a funny coincidence), and the Ventriloquist & Scarface as the bailiffs (which doesn’t reference anything, I believe, but is just freaking hilarious). I also like the journey Van Dorn goes on in this story. She starts off as a rival to Batman, seeing him as a nuisance and a hypocrite who causes more trouble than he’s worth, and wants to see things done in a straight-and-narrow fashion. By the end of the story, she concedes that he really does have a place and purpose in Gotham, and that the ends truly do justify the means…but she still doesn’t necessarily LIKE that fact. To an extent, she reminds me a lot of Ellen Yindel from “The Dark Knight Returns” (and her surrogate character, Ellen Yin, from the later animated show “The Batman”). In Frank Miller’s graphic novel, Yindel is Commissioner Gordon’s replacement, and she basically has the same concerns and feelings as Van Dorn. She also ultimately comes to the same conclusion: sometimes, drastic measures are called for, and one should not judge what they cannot fully understand. I don’t know if this similarity was intentional on the creators’ part or not, but it’s interesting to note.

“Trial” postulates that, unorthodox and questionable as his actions may be, Batman does NOT create his villains: whatever grudges and fixations these renegades have, they probably still would have become bad guys later down the line without his help. And what’s great about this conclusion is, at least in the Animated Series, that’s absolutely true! Most of Batman’s rogues are created independently from him, or were already off-balance by the time he came into play. So many times in this series, Batman isn’t the one spurring the action on, instead he’s reacting to dangerous activity. So whatever influence Batman has on Gotham City…in this show, at least, it’s safe to say it’s positive. The twist that comes after Van Dorn has this realization during the titular trial is absolutely marvelous, as well…but I think I’ll keep that one to myself. Watch the episode to see how this case adjourns. Ha Ha.

Tomorrow, I shall present the penultimate place in the countdown. Hint: “Are you the dreamer, or merely part of someone’s dream?”

[batmanschmatman]

Hello!! 1, 4, 10, 18, and 22 for the End of the Year ask game please 😊

ONE Song of the Year: My Spotify Wrapped claims for me it was the Placebo cover of Running Up That Hill, which is admittedly on almost every single one of my playlists, but I think it was actually Meet Me in the Woods by Lord Huron, because I listened to it a billion times while writing my NaNo project.

FOUR Movie of the Year: The Boy and the Heron, both because it was great and also it was the only good theater experience I had all year that wasn't a rerelease like Titanic and The Lion King lol, people at our home theater are very poorly behaved. ;;

TEN Something that Made You Cry This Year: LOL WELL I lost my job a couple weeks ago and that has been some VERY MIXED EMOTIONS including a lot of hysterical crying. It was an extremely toxic work place I was trying to get out of anyway (museum board full of old white men who hated me, boss is/was an alcoholic mean girl - no exaggeration, has driven home drunk from work lunches with her kid in the car and been blackout throwing up in her office after work events - who had a toady work bff who also hated me, no health insurance, making $26/hr despite having an MA and living somewhere where rents start at $2,000 a month) but my boss basically reamed me out right before Thanksgiving telling me I was the worst person ever, had a bunch of provably false claims about how bad an employee I was (never meeting deadlines, making other people do my work for me, never attending events or suggesting ideas for programs, all bullshit I had ample evidence to refute) and told me I could either quit now and be paid through February or be on like mega probation indefinitely, so I came back from the holiday like alright I quit, they're like cool actually this is a budgetary thing and not at all personal, we're SO SORRY this didn't work out also we can only afford to pay you through mid January, so now I'm unemployed applying to a million jobs and scared about money but also I'm free??? So there's been a lot of on and off weeping/grieving and it's kinda ruined the holidays for me lol. But also hopefully it'll pivot to a much better paying and stable job somewhere closer to home, so fingers crossed.

Don't get into the museum field, folks, it sucks here.

EIGHTEEN A Memorable Meal This Year: For Valentine's Day, @heystovepipeboys and I made a bunch of recipes from Last Dinner on the Titanic, which was SUPER FUN. I love historic cooking/baking and have had the cookbook forever, but had never made anything from it before and everything was INCREDIBLE. We made cream of barley soup, chicken Lyonnaise, chateau potatoes and asparagus, and then got eclairs from a bakery near us and the Harney & Sons Titanic tea blend, which is supposed to be similar to the special blend they served on the ship. We listened to period music the whole time we cooked and then we went to see Titanic in theaters for its anniversary rerelease.

TWENTY TWO Favorite Place You Visited This Year: hmmm very tough call. My parents very generously took the fam on a Disney cruise to Alaska this summer which was a childhood dream of mine, and wifey and I had an awesome trip to Old Sturbridge Village in MA for their Halloween event, which was probably the best Halloween themed thing I've ever done. They set up the museum with a bunch of themed performances by a bunch of traveling circus performers who are Definitely Not Vampires and everything was really spooky and fun. Would super recommend if anyone is looking for fun Halloween things to do in New England next year.

Thank you for the ask!! Hope you are enjoying a relaxing end to this weird year.

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

do you have one of those childrens tv shows that you used to love when you were a kid, but that you now realise is actually kinda fucked up? can you explain what you think is creepy/weird about it?

Good question!

Okay, so I'm going to make this reply very very long so I can indulge my love of dispensing long rants about this subject.

First of all, I'm not exactly sure what you mean by "creepy" or "weird." If you mean that they just seem kind of "off" to you now, like they aren't made for the intended audience, then you should definitely check out MST3K, which is a parody show on a station called the Comedy Central that makes fun of old B movies.

That aside, my "creepy TV show" is probably When Worlds Collide, a show from the 50's. It's about aliens invading the Earth, and it follows a family on a spaceship that is the only surviving vehicle from the Earth. (For some reason, they had to flee, and they do not seem to be allowed to go back.)

In the context of the time, this show was probably revolutionary. It was one of the very first science fiction shows, and it introduced lots of concepts that came to be characteristic of the genre. (In fact, I'm not sure there was a "science fiction" genre until science fiction showed up on TV and in movies.) This show is notable as an early exploration of the time travel concept. It's also one of the first time fictional characters in American TV dealt with the idea that there is intelligent life outside of Earth.

The problem is that, in the present day, much of this stuff is kind of hard to parse. You kind of wonder what's going on when, for example, a character on the ship is like "oh no, our spaceship is running out of oxygen!" He starts babbling about some sort of family emergency (the ship's oxygen is a "family inheritance," apparently). His brother is like "don't worry, here's a portable oxygen tank." And it's all just weird.

And the special effects are amazingly bad. In general the show is kind of "cringeworthy," because it seems like they made all the budgetary choices that would lead to a low-rent campy production. This is sort of hilarious if you watch it with the benefit of hindsight, but back when I watched it as a kid I just wondered why it was so "bad," in my best approximation of adult aesthetic taste.

One thing I remember from this show is that the aliens talk very oddly. They're always using this one weird word, and it's annoying when they say it a lot. For some reason, when I rewatched the show as an adult, I kept hearing "fuck" in that odd voice.

I think this goes to show that this show does not really have any charm -- it's what you'd get if you started making a new show with the worst possible budget, crew, and effects, and expected it to have a long run, and maybe eventually they'd do all the things that "good" sci fi shows do.

Also, I should mention, the show seems to support the nuclear family as an ideal, and at one point I remember a lot of kids like me being very disappointed by this, because we didn't have a nuclear family at home.

[askagamedev]

Any thoughts on Dunkey's foray into games publishing? Anything there or just someone with opinions and therefor they must also be good publishers?

For those who are unaware, Dunkey is a youtuber with ~7.2 million subscribers as of this post. He is primarily a youtube pundit and posts about various video games and his opinions of them. Most recently, he has announced that he has started an indie publisher named BigMode. According to their website, BigMode can provide support for:

Marketing

Funding

PR and Community Management

Porting to other platforms

Localization

QA

These are all services that most publishers of all budgetary levels can provide. Most in-development games need help with most of these in order to launch successfully. Each of these things requires a significant amount of resource investment for a development studio to handle themselves. The primary purpose of a publisher is to provide these services for multiple games in exchange for a cut of each of the finished games that get produced.

These services aren't cheap. Game publishers survive or perish based on their ability to evaluate and choose winning games. Publishers need to pick some winners in order to keep the lights on and continue paying for these services for the next batch of games they choose to publish. A lot of games sound fantastic at the pitch level, but run aground on all of the thousand big and little issues that crop up between pitch and final submission. It remains to be seen whether BigMode has the ability to pick winners consistently or provide the support needed in order to carry the projects they choose over the finish line.

I managed to find Bigmode's LLC registration in Florida, but I can't find anybody on LinkedIn who says they work there. Presumably somebody within my LinkedIn network would be working there doing things like community management, marketing, localization, QA, or platform porting - all services that they say they are providing - unless they are planning to outsource everything to third party companies. I can definitely find most other indie game publishers, as well as people with career histories with those indie publishers. It's also a little strange that BigMode didn't start by announcing any titles that they've already secured the rights to publish.

If Dunkey really wants to do this and the company doesn't really produce enough revenue to sustain itself, I suppose he can become a modern patron of the arts and pay for his publishing ambitions himself with his other streams of income. I'm glad that more options for publisher services are being offered for indie game devs - I hope that this does turn out well. But I'm skeptical at the moment - there's only been the announcement so far, and publishing requires a strong team effort. Picking projects to publish is only a small part of a very long and difficult process. Dunkey is similar to Dr. Disrespect in that I don't really think either will really be greatly affected if their game dev dreams fall apart. I think the worst case scenario regarding BigMode would be promising games going with BigMode as their publisher and falling apart because BigMode isn't up to the task.

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[marvel-starwarsfangirl]

Secret Invasion ep. 2 Review

While I definitely liked the first ep better, I still really enjoyed today’s episode. The conversations that Fury had with the other characters were really interesting and I look forward to seeing how the outcomes develop in the later episodes. It’s really sad to see Fury despondent at times because we’re not used to seeing him that way. The conversation with Talos was especially heartbreaking. Honestly, I think Talos is at his wits end; he’s fought for so long and he still doesn’t have a place to truly call home yet.

Gravik is very interesting imo. His laid back demeanor when contrasted with this brutal side is kinda chilling. The way he holds himself is so different from the other Skrulls on the council. They’re all fancily dressed and then Gravik comes in with not a care in the world. Idk, I just think the juxtaposition is interesting. 

And Olivia Coleman! I can see why she is an Emmy Winner. Her delivery and performance is so smooth and crisp. She was absolutely brutal, showing no mercy when interrogating that one dude. I’m definitely excited to see where her character goes in the later episodes. Yall say Olivia Coleman delivers and man, she DELIVERS.

Honestly, my only complaint would be on some of the makeup effects for the Skrulls but that’s most likely a budgetary thing. They still look decent. 

Anyway, I’m excited for next week. I just hope Talos remains ok because I love him. 

Spoilers below

Ok, so does Fury know his wife is a Skrull? This better get addressed. Also, is Rhodey a Skrull? Is Fury a Skrull? I honestly have no idea anymore.

And the super Skrull stuff is also interesting. It’s cool to see how they’ve been using DNA from other characters like Groot to gain abilities. 

Ok, but the convo with Talos and Fury. It broke me. Talos so fervently believes that humans and Skrulls can coexist only for Fury to fire back that humans can’t even coexist with each other and that Talos should know better. Even though it’s a harsh line, it’s so true. Humans are their own worst enemy. We’re so brutal to each other and it’s very sad. Talos clearly loves earth and wants peace. However, it’s a tough road and he is tired. Honestly, I think what makes the convo hurt more is the fact that these two have known each for 30 years and to see them go at each other is sad. 

(On a more positive note, I will say that Talos smiling when Fury was telling him a story from his childhood did warm my heart. They’re friendship is everything)

[tyrantisterror]

Liveblog Postscript: My Silly Theory About Adolescence of Utena

It’s hours after I finished my liveblog of Adolescence of Utena and I just had some shower thoughts that I need to vomit out so I can easily recall them the next time I end up watching this series.

Short version: I think Adolescence of Utena isn’t just an alternate continuity, but rather a result of everyone reincarnating after the events of Revolutionary Girl Utena, and is about definitively breaking a cycle of abuse and victimization while also tying up loose ends from the show in a surreal way.

Long version after the cut!

Ok, so, like, the word revolution, right?  What first comes to mind is probably the “break free of social norms and change shit on a societal level” sort of revolution, which indeed seems to be the meaning implied by the title Revolutionary Girl Utena, since Utena is introduced to us by breaking a shitload of gender and social norms.  She’s the girl who chose to be a prince instead of a princess, bucking tradition and all that.

But revolution can also refer to a repeated circular motion - a wheel revolving in a piece of machinery, the earth revolving around the sun, an endless process of movement that ulitmately leads to no change whatsoever - you return to exactly where you began.

Both ideas of what “revolution” mean are recurring themes in Utena.  They occur visually - often in the show there are scenes (generally character introduction scenes) where the shot is framed with four roses revolving in the corners.

The duel arena that serves as the primary setpiece for the show’s action scenes is this giant clockwork contraption full of spiraling and revolving pieces, including the very stairs leading to the top.

The above sequence is one of a good handful of very noticeable pieces of stock footage in the show - sequences that you’ll see about once per episode, in fact.  Now, you could argue that’s purely a budget thing, but whether or not it was done for budgetary reasons doesn’t prevent it from also having meaning.  This is the chamber where Utena has her duels - its appearance in each episode heralds the perpetuation of that cycle of violence, the cycle of people trying to control and exploit Anthy, and Utena standing in their way.

Many of the characters themselves are trapped in these cyclical behaviors - Anthy being passed around from abuser to abuser, people dueling Utena again and again, Nanami desperately trying to humiliate Anthy and/or gain her brother’s affections to no avail, etc.  In fact I think you could argue that these cycles of behavior are what cause most if not all of the problems in the show - people are being driven mad by a world revolving.

Until Utena revolts and breaks the cycle.  A revolution to end the revolutions.

The duel chamber sequence changes in the last third of the anime, when shit gets real.  Utena isn’t climbing the revolving stairs to meet Anthy at the top anymore - she and Anthy both ride an elevator inside them.  The world revolves, stuck still in the machine of its patterns, but these two are moving forward without it.  Anthy’s school uniform - clothes that represent a role assigned to her - drops and becomes fodder for a plant that grows as the girls move forward, showing that something new is beginning to grow. The cycle isn’t going to last forever this time.

Ok, abbreviated and oversimplified summary of the end of the series: Akio, the main antagonist and a man trapped in his own cycle (he was once a prince who tried to solve everyone’s problems, cracked under the strain of it and had to be sealed away, and is now trying to remake the world as I understand it), tries to use Anthy for his own ends, fails, and watches as Utena does the impossible and breaks the curse on Anthy, saving her and changing the world in the process.  The anime ends with Akio thinking Utena failed, that she destroyed herself and will be forgotten, and deciding to start the whole system of duels again - only for Anthy to tell him he knows nothing, that Utena is alive and has simply escaped Akio’s world, and that now Anthy is going to escape it as well to find Utena and repay her for freeing her.

Got that?  Ok, let’s talk about the movie.

In Adolescence of Utena, Akio is dead to begin with.  That doesn’t mean he isn’t present or affects the story, but he’s a corpse in the ground.  He is dead.

because this isn’t his world anymore

Utena is instead inspired to be a prince by the actions of a boy named Touga.  In the show, Touga was one of Akio’s minions, more or less the most powerful/high ranked of them in fact, and kind of a real sleazy piece of shit.  But towards the end of the series, as Akio’s plan gets closer to completion and Touga sees how cruel it is to everyone else, Touga realizes he doesn’t like seeing these people - and Utena in particular, who he has grown to love to some extent - suffer.  He tries to warn Utena against trusting Akio and be the charming prince he’s often pretended to be, but Utena ignores him because, well, he was kind of a prominent antagonist for most of the series.

In Adolescence of Utena, Touga is not a sleaze or a piece of shit.  He’s a heroic young man who gives his life to save a drowning girl, and his heroism is what inspires Utena to become a prince.  In other words, he has completed the change of heart he began in the show - no longer a minion of Akio, but a noble young man, and one who Utena could love to some degree.  If we view this Touga as a reincarnation of the original, then he has essentially finished the business the original began.  The cycle of Touga’s bad behavior was broken - he revolted against the role Akio gave him in the original story.

Touga’s sister, Nanami, who was a recurring yet fairly incompetent antagonist who eventually became more of a comic relief buffoon than an actual threat, is mostly absent from the movie - which, again, makes sense given where her story ended in the anime.  Nanami realized how she was being used, and how bad the environment of the school was, and tried to transfer to another school to get away from all this horseshit.  While Akio stopped her in the show, here, in the reincarnated world, Nanami’s gone - she’s not at this school anymore.  She revolted so hard that she escaped the narrative altogether.

Juri and Saionji have fights with Utena more or less as abbreviated versions of their antagonistic roles in the anime, but Miki abstains (because even in the anime he was never really committed to the bit the way the other henchmen were).  Then all three of them shift to being allies really quickly at the end of the movie, because while they may have been put into their old roles, the effect of the previous iteration remains, and the three of them can’t help but love Utena and root for her.

Utena takes her role as a duelist more confidently and assertively, and fights for it with a ferocity even her anime self couldn’t match.  But by the third act the story isn’t focused on her so much anymore - because Utena already broke one cycle, and it’s not her job to break this one’s.

It’s Anthy’s.

In the anime, all these cycles revolved around Anthy, and specifically the abuse and exploitation she received at the hands of, well, pretty much everyone who isn’t Utena.  And Anthy was fairly passive in accepting it, feeling as if she had no choice but to follow her role in the cycle of things... until Utena broke the world.

Now, in this movie, in the world where Akio is dead to begin with an no longer in charge, Anthy is immediately more proactive than she was before. She tries to warn Utena away from becoming a duelist, is far more openly romantic in her interactions with Utena, and in the third act, it’s Anthy who is our focal character as she tries to escape the cycle.

Utena goes and does what she did in the anime - she opens the door that no one else could open, the one that allows her to revolutionize the world.  In doing so she breaks tradition and repeat the cycle - and leave it for Anthy to break.

And here’s where this theory of mine gets REALLY stupid!  Ready?

Utena being turned into a car?  It’s part of this.  It’s the APEX of this.

A car is a machine with wheels - a machine whose parts revolve over and over, never leaving their position in their constant movement.  But it’s also a machine that helps you leave where you where.  It is revolution as an endless cycle AND revolution as a way to break through and leave behind the world you knew.  Utena’s life could go either way - she could break the cycle, or become part of it.  But whichever she does, she can’t do alone.  She can’t escape...

...unless Anthy is behind the wheel.

Anthy drives Utena through everything that the machinery of this world can throw at her.  She beats Shiori, a character who was a minor antagonist in the show but becomes a major secondary antagonist here as she tries to steal Utena’s role in the narrative, only to be destroyed by her own stubborn refusal to change her patterns of cruel behavior.  Then other wheeled machines are sent after Anthy and Utena, and though the pair are worn down, Anthy redoubles her resolve and keeps going.

Akio’s ghost, for want of a better world, appears at the end - and has appeared a few times before that, for that matter - and tries to once again take control of this narrative, using a machine with giant revolving treads in an attempt to kill both Utena and Anthy.  But they perservere, breaking out of this world and all the expectations heaped upon them.  Though the car is reduced to a bare chassis and wheels, Utena and Anthy escape, free, no longer trapped in a world revolving and the cycles it used to keep people in line, and allowed to claim a life of their own choosing.

Utena escaped Akio’s world, and in Adolescence of Utena Anthy does the same, claiming her own agency and rescuing Utena just as Utena had rescued her.  And every other character who could have chosen the same does so.  The revolutions have ended, and the revolution has triumphed.

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | The Pit and the Pendulum (Corman, 1961)

This review contains mild spoilers.

Now, perhaps there was some element of uncertainty with Vincent Price back in 1961 despite him having been a regular star of horror movies for some time at that point. Approaching this in 2023, you will very likely associate Price with the genre and a certain type of character, somewhere on the spectrum of deranged to mustache-twirling evil. (Or maybe it's a grid, like one of those political authoritarian/libertarian/left/right things.) So the fact that Price spends the first two acts of this movie moping around, mournful and wracked with guilt over the death of his wife, means that we spend that time waiting for the other shoe to drop. At a certain point, we know he'll be going full madman, so the rest of the performance doesn't feel terribly convincing, at least compared to the unapologetic, cheerful evil of his character in The Masque of the Red Death.

That being said, this is still Price, meaning that he's still sinking his teeth into the material so there is still plenty to enjoy. (I do not eat swine, but I make an exception for Price's finely aged ham.) And if we can steer the topic towards my awful viewing habits, it only struck me now how much pornographic actor Paul Thomas resembles Price both in facial structure and the rhythms of his line readings. I don't know what's scarier: Thomas turning into a murderous maniac in one of his movies, or Price whipping it out in one of his.

I do think I might have done this a disservice watching it so soon after Masque, as it doesn't feel nearly as visually adventurous, aside from a few stylized bursts. That being said, it's still a pretty nice looking movie. The budgetary limitations are a lot more obvious, as much of this takes place in a rather cramped castle, one which is mostly brown and grey and without the bold colours of the other movie. But the cinematography does have a nice, cozy sense of texture, especially with all the plush velvet fabric on display. (I was recommended this with the promise of fancy hats and a cowl, and I can confirm both are worth the price of admission. Which is zero dollars if you watch it on Tubi. Unless you're one of those grindset types and consider the opportunity cost of watching this astronomically high.) There are also some beautiful matte paintings, both of the castle's exterior and of the titular pit, and some nice deconstructed scoring, every note echoing in eerie isolation.

And without spoiling too much, this is definitely worth seeing for fans of Barbara Steele, and one could think of worse ways to die of shock or lose their wits than having Steele leap out at you from the shadows.

[lizardgimpking]

Book Review: The Living Dead (Daniel Kraus, George A. Romero)

Been wanting to read this for a good long while (Well, 2019 I guess). First, I had to wait for the standard annual wait between hardback and the more desirable/affordable paperback, then I had to wait for that to be a bit more affordable too. And, well...I also had to muster up the determination to actually read the damn thing, because this book is huge, and whilst not the biggest book out there by any means, it’s very easily the largest one I’ve read since I rekindled my love of books during the Covid lockdown in 2020.

And it is big for a reason, this is a true epic of a zombie novel, one that spans over a decade and follows a huge assortment of different characters in a wide array of different locations/circumstances. Across nearly 800 pages (In the paperback at least), this is the late, great George A. Romero’s definitive and final word on the ‘Dead’ series he created back in 1968. One that covers pretty much everything you could hope to cover on the subject, and it does so with his well known understanding that largely it’s less about the zombies and more about the blood-soaked mirror they hold up to the real world and the way humanity behaves within it. But still ripping guts out and all that fun stuff. The best of both worlds, I say! Now, obviously Romero himself didn’t write the novel, or at least he didn’t manage to finish it. Daniel Kraus was brought in to write it after the legendary director’s passing in 2017, using unfinished writing, notes and plans, and various loosely connected short stories by Romero to bring this final piece of work to life. Now sadly, and despite a chunky authors note at the end which is well worth the read, I remain unclear on how much of this was actually Romero’s work and how much has been improvised by Kraus, but all the same it ended up a mostly quite excellent read.

‘The Living Dead’ is broken up into three acts. More-so it’s broken up into two acts with a short bit of connective tissue between to bridge the large gap of years between start and end. The first act is set broadly in the first couple weeks of the ‘Dawn’, charting what could well be the first instance of someone coming back from the dead, and then exploring, through a wide array of perspectives and locations, how humanity responds to the end of the world as we know it. Amongst our collection of protagonists are a pair of pathologists, a woman living in a trailer park, a TV journalist and a Naval officer stationed on a aircraft carrier. To name but a few. Needless to say all their differing locations, ages and perspectives lead to a multitude of different tones and scales. With the Naval element providing the kind of bombastic insanity that would’ve likely never made it to the big screen for budgetary/content reasons, whilst the pathologist thread is more intimate and sombre. The main things connecting all these stories, bar some loose shared elements, is both the viscerally described and brutal nature of the violence that ensues, and the way in which both modern American life, and the concept of death and undeath, are explored in both sociopolitical and philosophical contexts. There’s a lot of ‘evil phone bad’ kinda stuff that didn’t quite work for me, but beyond that it’s all quite engaging, and turns the novel into as much of a grim reflection on human nature, in all its highs and lows, in addition to faith and class/race division, as it is a blood and guts zombie epic. Which is exactly what Romero’s ‘Dead’ films were like at their absolute finest. The second act, which I won’t spoil the grander details of, takes place over a decade after the dead rose, and sees several of the previously established characters ending up in the same location. In my opinion, this act is where the novel gets the most wild and interesting with its zombie elements. Again, it’s best left discovering yourself, but there’s certainly a lot more to all of this than just zombies munching on legs and limbs, and this more nuanced and elaborate take on the undead, again, feeds into the politically charged and ultimately pessimistic vibes of the overall story.

And it is a mostly quite grim read. If you aren’t into gore, even when written down on paper, this isn’t the book for you. If you’re looking for something that will raise your spirits or offer happy endings...you clearly haven’t watched Romero’s previous works in the genre, that much is certain. This is a bleak and brutal epic that questions humanities role on the Earth, and whether or not they can ever ultimately turn around the sinking ship that is modern civilisation into something better for both us, and the planet. There’s a lot of heavy, existential themes to contend with, so if you’re just looking for a bit of spooky fun, this ain’t gonna do it for you. Especially given its titanic length. Personally, I found it all quite fascinating and gripping to read through. I was really worried before starting that this was going to be a slog...it’s a huge book, and if a huge book isn’t hooking you in, then you’re going to be stuck on it for a long time. Fortunately I enjoyed it a lot, and whilst some elements maybe overextend into goofy or extremely contrived territory, as a lot of Romero’s works ultimately did, even those were at the very least still striking and entertaining.

This is certainly a much better final word on the zombie phenomena Romero himself created back in the 60s, as opposed to the, frankly, abysmal ‘Survival of the Dead’ from 2010, which sadly constituted his final cinematic work. With Romero’s ideas and Daniel Kraus’ strong and poetic writing, this is a must-read for any fan of the genre, and indeed any fan of the ‘Dead’ series of films. Some of it may come across as a little familiar (Shades of ‘World War Z’ for instance), as a lot of zombie material does these days, but ultimately the scope and final destination of the epic journey make this one of the definitive works of zombie media. Flawed in parts, but still highly recommended.

Read it or Leave it : Read It.

Reading Next (The Lamplighters by Emma Stonex)

[tracingpapier]

watched the first ep of sonic prime, my thoughts below!

umm i do get kinda critical about it so if you don't wanna hear that then just skip this one i guess! also slight spoilers maybe? i'm writing for readers who have already seen the first episode.

writing/plot

okay so first and foremost the first episode, shattered, did NOT have to be that long. i feel like very little happened or was communicated given the length of the episode, in the sense that they spent so much time reiterating that "wow, sonic's in a different place!". i get that it's a kids show, but i doubt kids need the premise beat into their heads this heavily. sonic spends so much time just running around questioning everything that's going on to the point where it's redundant. i think that could've worked if it came out of a reluctance to accept the change in reality around him, but i definitely think it came off more as him just being kind of... dumb? i don't know how many of the games are canon to this show, but we've seen this exact kind of set-up in the storybook games and to my memory he was a lot quicker to pick up on "oh, my friends are different people here" than in shattered. i feel that sonic trying to get nine to "remember" him was way too drawn out.

it's worth mentioning that sonic x does have a really similar premise: sonic gets separated from his friends and ends up in a whole new world. although the world in shattered is much more dystopian, both worlds are pretty immediately hostile to sonic, and yet i feel that sonic x had a much stronger opening. (and, like, i'm not the biggest sonic x guy myself. it has nostalgic qualities for sure, but i'm not a "stan", y'know?) i think a lot of prime's pacing issues just stem from the fact that this opening episode is 45~ minutes long, having too much run time to fill with minimal set-up. i'm anticipating that the rest of the episodes, being shorter, will be better paced!

the voice actors were fine! deven christian mack gave a performance very similar to roger craig smith, sometimes i thought it might actually be him haha. i thought he was good (if you like roger's take on sonic, you'll like deven's)! everyone else's performances were satisfactory, but nothing to write home about as of yet. knuckles' voice sounded forcibly deep sometimes? and sometimes the deliveries could be meh, but other than that everything was fine.

okay, i have to say it: the dialogue was very mid-tier, sometimes even downright bad. it really seemed like they were trying to go for snappy, quirky dialogue but oh boy it did not land for me personally.

i really hope they don't go with a "sonic has to learn to be a good friend" narrative that they kind of seemed to be setting up. i feel like one of sonic's defining character traits is that he's, like, already a good friend? i'm not really interested in a narrative where he has to learn to "listen to his friends better". he already does that just fine in other media.

quick note: i'm definitely interested to see where they go with shadow's character! i am so happy that they're not just framing him as "evil" immediately. or like overly dickish. thank god.

also baby eggman was funny. i like his silly baby mech.

animation

i liked the animation! very fluid and nice in some parts. i'm personally not super big on 3D animated tv shows --i find that it can be hard to pull off good-looking 3D with a tv budget-- but i didn't mind it! the models i'm not entirely sold on, but i think it looked good overall. i like that they weren't afraid to push the expressions. i think i would've liked it more had they gone with something that looked more akin to the bad guys movie that came out recently, but again, i'm sure there's a budgetary difference there, just based on assumption.

ok that's all for now! i'm hoping things get a little better as it goes! also please keep in mind that i am quite literally Just Some Guy on the internet sharing his thoughts about a cartoon for children. my opinion on this only has as much meaning as you give it. if you like it that's totally fine and i'm happy you enjoyed the show! please keep that in mind before taking to the notes and typing up a reply :,)

tl;dr i think the show has a solid premise and an okay start, and i'm hoping the show gets better as it goes (and with less run-time to fill lol)!

[ploppythespaceship]

Thoughts on Star Trek: Prodigy (Season 1B)

I already typed up my thoughts on 1A ages ago, not knowing when 1B would come out, so I'm gonna try not to spend too much time on repeat statements. You can read that here if you care.

Honestly, this was one of the strongest first seasons in Star Trek history. This show knew what it wanted to be from the very start and just got better as it went along. My few complaints are largely nitpicky. Seriously, if you have passed on this because it's a kids show or you don't like the new Treks or whatever -- just give it a try.

What I Liked

The characters and their dynamic continue to be the strongest part of the series. Each of them is unique, memorable, and likeable in their own way, and the back half of the season fleshes all of them out even more. We even get a little flashback establishing each of their backstories. I originally thought Dal was the least interesting character, but his arc of leadership and self-discovery was wonderful in the back half of the season. Now I'd probably cite Jankom as the least interesting, but honestly none of them are bad, and they work very well as a group.

Once again, the animation just looks gorgeous. Character designs are wonderful and varied, and some of the locations are just stunning.

This show is made by people who love Star Trek, and it shows. The references and worldbuilding are crafted with such care, with so many little moments making me smile -- like the handful of calls to Jellico, or the little nods to "Threshold" and "Counterpoint," or the appearance of the Defiant in the big finale. But what I appreciate most about these references is that the show doesn't entirely depend on them. It's not just a shameless nostalgia grab like some other recent Trek outings have been -- if you removed the references and fanservice, there would still be a solid show underneath.

This show also has an excellent balance between episodic and serialized storytelling. There's definitely a big story that gets developed over time and builds up to a big finale, but that doesn't completely derail everything else. The characters still have a series of one-off adventures, which places them in new environments and allows them to have varied arcs. Most had good flow between each other as well, with only a few feeling like pointless filler -- and even those weren't bad, just not as strong as the rest.

I also like how this show isn't necessarily committed to maintaining the status quo. The season finale wrapped up so many arcs and set up season 2 to be quite different, and that's really exciting to me! I don't want them to rehash the same ideas over and over, and it looks like they don't plan to.

I really appreciate Prodigy's approach to darker and more nuanced topics. It doesn't shy away from things like the cast being escaped slaves, or the tragedy of what happened to Solum. Nor does it dumb these things down for its young audience. It just makes these topics approachable.

The reveal of Dal being an augment isn't what I expected, but I like it a lot. It introduces some tension due to the possibility of him not being permitted in Starfleet, and it sends him on a really interesting character arc -- going from "I'm just some experiment from a petri dish" to "I'm the captain and if I can't be in Starfleet, I'm going to do what I can to make sure you all do."

What I Didn't Like

Carrying over my biggest complaint from the first half of the season -- the lip sync in this show is weirdly bad. Mouth movements are often wildly mismatched from the voices, and it's genuinely distracting. And generally, there are some animation choices that make me wonder if there were budgetary or timing issues preventing more fluid movements. Characters can feel a little stiff, or like they're not emoting to the same extent as their voice actors. Hopefully the success of season 1 means season 2 will get a bit more attention in that regard.

Additionally, while the character designs of the alien characters are gorgeous, some of the human characters look a bit strange. I think I notice it most on the returning legacy characters, whose appearances I am most familiar with. It's hard to balance keeping the look of a well-known live-action character while also matching the art style, and I couple times I just think they missed the mark. Holo Janeway looks perfectly fine to me, but Admiral Janeway looks like she was stung by several bees.

While I appreciate most of the little cameos from pre-existing Trek characters, I don't think Okona added much to the story. I would have removed that role entirely, because he was definitely just there to be filler.

I don't care for Murf's redesign. I can't really articulate what looks off to me, but I just prefer the weird little blob to the weird little man.

I don't care for Zero's new suit, either. I understand giving them an upgrade, since their old one was literally scrap metal. But their old one also had charm and character to it. The new one looks like a walking Apple store and feels unpleasantly cold. Even making it gray instead of shining white would have helped, I think.