#was trying to transfer out but it doesn't look like it's gonna work out. god. god. i think this might have to be it.

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Watching videos about how much my job sucks and. I think this may be a sign

[pinkchrissysposts]

☆LAST POST,THE FINAL ADVICE☆

(Basically answers to asks I got)

Ok first thing first there is no one here to help you manifest,not the bloggers,not me, no one,if reading multiple post on same topic can't help you then why do expect bloggers to help you who are gonna give you same advice,they have been mentioning on their posts. It's not like they are writing about different things,every bloggers are telling you the same thing YOUR 4D/imagination is the true reality,you just have to PERSIST and be CONSISTENT. No like seriously I really feel like you guys are just lazy,why are you depend on bloggers,Im not saying that you can't ask for help and by help i mean understanding certain concept or doubts but you straight up ask to help you manifest or coaching don't do that until and unless they themself mention about being a coach,because see we have a life of our own too,we are God but also human who are busy in their life. Bloggers post this amazing posts talking about law and how beautiful it is. But y'all are so into the victim mindset,as if you are the only one suffering,which is correct YOU are the reason you are seeing the person taking away your sp,you are so into imagining yourself in a broke state and dwell in it,because you feel comfort in it,get a bit uncomfortable dear,you'll endup being comfortable.

You cannot just get comfortable when you are transfered in a new school,new class and the new environment,you first adjust,you go to the school everyday and get used to the new environment then you get comfortable isn't it guys. Manifesting is exactly like this you get in the state of having the desire,it feels uncomfortable,fake,delusional but the more you persist the more you get used to this feeling of knowing. It's not even necessary to be in the state a 24/7,because we are in different state all the time,just when you remember about the desire get in the state or do whatever fulfills you.

No amount of methods won't be useful if you are not even persisting and keep look for 3d validation. To sum up everything all you have to to is persist. Bloggers won't be there for you all the damn time,most of you want to manifest being independent but with a mindset of a dependent person,who are depend on other's for method and doesn't even persist in it then cries,and trauma dump on other's dm.

There is no use of DMing us too you know,we as bloggers are the one end up getting bored or annoyed,because I'm telling y'all legit leave another method and come up with a new one,I have about 50+ dms and asks asking me how to manifest or trauma dumping telling me how they aren't able to manifest,dear of course you won't be able to manifest if you keep looking for validation. I'm not saying that your circumstances aren't that bad,it's probably really hard for you but darling,everyone had faced this challenge,it's hard but learn to ignore the 3D even if it was right on your face. Be stubborn when it comes to manifesting,it took me alot of time as well to adapt that mindset,so I read alot of fanfics where reader gets whatever they want this really got me into the brat mindset,you can also find methods or ways that you help you feel fulfill,I don't care what method you are using JUST DO WHAT FULFILLS YOU NOT ME,I've got alot of asking if they should do or this,you know honey do what you believe is gonna work for you,I'm not the one using that method,i purposely don't even reply because I want you guys to try it out yourselves. That's what every bloggers did too,they learn to trust themselves and their imagination.

OK here, since most of you ask me to help manifest I'm challenging you,for the next two weeks,affirm robotically for your desire,lazy to affirm? You shouldn't be,because majority of you complain about not being able to get in a state and endup saying you'll affirm,then do exactly that.

Wavering? Keep affirming and persist.

Don't believe the affirmations? Keep affirming and persist.

Seeing the opposite? Keep affirming and persist.

Make those affirmation your dominant thought,you will know when it will become your dominant thought when it come up on it's own and you don't get effected by the negative thoughts.

But Chrissy some say affirmation don't work. SO? Keep affirming don't be a weakling just because it didn't work for them doesn't mean it will not work for you,you are not them,you are YOU ,they probably didn't even affirm enough or probably checked their 3D,there are many successful people who affirm Jennifer Lopez,Ice Spice and my fav Taylor Tookes despite being petite she still become a model and even walk on runway and now in cover magazines,if they can do it why can't you,they also affirmed right? Not gonna lie majority of the successful people who are into manifestation are into affirming.

Also log out of X and Tumblr,yes it can be motivating to see success stories or reading motivation but they are of no use,you might see a new post talking about a new method and end up leaving affirming and start following that method. Instead you should've scroll on tiktok,or youtube or making vision board while affirming,it's way easier to then wasting your time here reading posts on same topic written in different ways or perspective. So instead just log out and affirm and PERSIST.

If you are so stubborn about the fact that you can't manifest,then start being stubborn about the fact that you can manifest.

This is now my last post I will be logging out might come to check in sometimes happy manifesting🪷.

[tsotg]

The Monster Hunter and the Hunted Monster

I thought of another universe I might wanna make content for. I know a lot of people already have this type of AU already but I can't resist making my own ;;-;;

Imagine Hiccup has been hunting Jack for ages. Jack has been one of the few creatures he's never been able to catch and that type of challenge is exhilarating. So he keeps trying to find him, luring him out with the threat of harm to his precious forest.

One day, for a reason or another, Pitch curses them both. They're both lost and trapped in a new and un familiar environment. Hiccup is overjoyed that he's finally able to catch Jack when they bump into each other but that feeling doesn't last long. They're both kind of terrified of where they are but won't show it to each other, instead letting it out as anger towards each other.

A few days into their banishment, Hiccup gets desperate. There's no animals to hunt, nothing to grow, he's starving and it doesn't seem like he's gonna get any food any time soon. So he goes to Jack and begs to know how he's not hungry. Jack replies with how he obviously doesn't get hungry because he's a spirit.

Hiccup breaks in front of him, he tells him how scared he is and how much he wants to go back home. Jack gets surprised, of all people, he would've never expected Hiccup to show this much vulnerability.

Jack feels the same as he does, he's scared and he wants to go home. And after settling down and making sure Hiccup isn't trying to trick him, he tells him so.

They talk about how much they love their home, about anything that comes to mind really. Until Hiccup has a fainting spell. Jack hurries to help him but has no idea how humans work anymore. He's been in his forest for so long.

When Hiccup wakes up, Jack asks him what happened. Hiccup reminds him how hungry he is and how little energy his body has. Jack hesitates before telling Hiccup how he has saved people lost in the forest in the same situation before but he's not gonna like how it's done.

Hiccup brushes it off, it can't be that bad right?

Jack presses his lips together in an awkward smile.

"Well- Not a lot of people get lost in the woods you know. And the children can see and hear me no problem. They follow the animals out of the forest. I've only done this twice and the first time I didn't even know I could do it so it wasn't super successful..."

"Just spit it out, if you can save me, do it. I want to go home after we get out of this shit hole."

Jack thought about telling him for a second but he doubted Hiccup would let him after hearing of the process.

"Ok, close your eyes then."

"Why?"

"It'll be easier for the both of us."

So Hiccup closed his eyes after giving Jack an eye roll. Jack took Hiccup's chin, opening his mouth slightly, braced himself and leaned in. As soon as their lips connected, Hiccup jumped in surprise and tried to push Jack away but couldn't find the strength in time before he realized what was happening.

This wasn't just a kiss, Jack's eyes glowed and his skin slowly lost the little colour it had left. He was transferring his energy to Hiccup. And Hiccup felt alive again. He leaned in slightly and enjoyed the feeling this gave him. Until he felt Jack's grasp on him weakened and he regained he train of thought again.

Jack took a second to snap out of the daze this put him in. Hiccup feared for a the worst for a second before Jack blinked a few times and his eyes went back to normal. He looked around for a second, almost looking as if he had no idea where he was. His eyes locked onto Hiccup and fear crept onto his expression. Hiccup felt him tense up in his arms. And then just like that, he took a breath for the first time since Hiccup closed his eyes and he looked normal again.

"For the Gods, if you told me this was gonna kill you I wouldn't have let you to do it!" Hiccup scolded.

"I didn't know it would do that. It never did in my forest." Jack looked off in the distance to ponder for a bit before what Hiccup said actually registered in his head. "Wait you're worried about me?"

"That's not the point."

"Yes it is!"

Jack gave Hiccup as teasing grin. Hiccup completely disconnected from the conversation and got up. Jack couldn't hold back, he kept teasing Hiccup as he tried to walk away.

"Well look who's feeling better." Hiccup tried to say it in a sarcastic tone but couldn't hold back a small smile.

==============

RAHHH PLEASE tell me if you wanna read more!! I will write more! And maybe I'll draw some better art of these gays.

[cupidscrule]

OLD ENOUGH 2 DIE

Re4 Leon X Fem! Reader

Tw - drug trafficking

P in v, finger stuff

You were a spoiled bitch, had daddy's money to take care of anything.

"Daddy - pleasee com'on It's only 2k, can you transfer the money? Yay! Thank you daddy mwah"

Spoken into the brand new phone you got, you had money, had everything. Never went a day without living like a queen, never understanding poor people 'ugh why can't you just work harder? Honestly it's not that hard ' said to thousands of waiters at 5 star restaurants. Never even tipped em, throughout high school you were a dick to everyone, if they weren't hot and skinny. Classic mean girl to be honest

"Hunny, absolutely not. We can all tell that bag is a fake, it's embarrassing.. you should honestly thank me for telling you how stupid you look.."

"Oh! That's not.."

"Babes, you know I want the best for you so.. that dress really makes you look fat, maybe wear something more flattering?"

Backhanded comments were your LIFE, had every privilege, didn't even try in school. Just sucked and fucked your way to A's, but you were hot so it's fine! It doesn't matter if the pretty girl makes the slug kill herself? She's all innocent, everyone who tried to defend you was hilarious. "Oh she's just insecure!!" Bullshit, no you weren't? You just hated all those chicks. Rightfully so, they were all annoying whores.

You were just treating them how they deserved to be, not like any of them had a future besides sucking dick.. you're different though, that's what you always told yourself. Sure you dressed like a skimpy bimbo, fucked the sports team twice. But you're different, an exception to the slut rule..

"Daddy can you send me an Uber? I don't have enough money in my account. Dad I said I spent it all shopping- no dad please- it's gonna be night soon, I NEED an Uber. Daddy? UGH" stomping your feet, making your own little hissy fit in the middle of the street, clutching the little pink fur purse you bought, looking around at all the people staring at you. Pout on your face and brows furrowed, throwing your phone on the ground and walking away, you were a good half hour away from home, and these boots were NOT made for walking. They were brand new plus, wouldn't wanna ruin em. And to top it all off it was freezing cold, like -15C. All you had was a white fur coat belted around your waist, with stupid little ear muffs. Couldn't even find matching gloves, freezing cold at Six PM alone on a Friday night, with no phone .. what a perfect day!

Stomping off not really knowin' where you're going isn't that smart though, but you were never a smart kid. Never did drugs or anything like that, just not very smart in the real world. Couldn't read signs, or fight, or have basic common courtesy. Shuffling your feet through the snow for god knows how long till tik street lights flicker on. By this point you got no clue where you are, started off downtown now you were in the middle of fucktown with nothing you recognize, see this is why daddy should've moved to a smaller town after The business deal, that way cops wouldn't be on his ass and you would know where you're going. Sure DC was the place to be! Except for the fact it's the stupidest place to be if your main source of income is drug trafficking, you didn't care where daddy got his money as long as you got it in the end. But what you did care about is when daddy refused to be smart about his shit. Like what are you on if you think moving to Washington is a good idea after makin' a major deal, you're dad was important. He was wanted for a lot. But you didn't do anything wrong, you're innocent! So you never cared about what would happen if dear old dad got caught, he could buy himself out of trouble just like before.

Still aimlessly walking up and down the streets trying to find anything identifiable when you hear footsteps behind you.

Turning your head to see who's behind you, and it's a taller man with blonde hair, it's getting dark so there's not that many details. He's wearing  really weird clothes, just staring at you, his eyes narrow and look at your face in the flickering lights before opening his dumb mouth

"Listen, we can make this easy kid. Just come with me back-" he started speaking, stepping towards you. Immediate nope, fuck that, the police actually caught the hell on? AND THEY WENT AFTER YOU? Worst day ever, dropping your bag and making a run for it just like daddy said.

"Sweetie, if the cops ever find you, and are onto you. Run. And run far."

Never actually thought what that old sack of shit said mattered, I mean nothing bad ever happens to you.

Running around corners, frantically, heart racing, why, why, why, why. You had NOTHING to do with daddies private shit, if anything you're a victim to his crimes.. yeah victim! I mean dad was a creep sometimes, huggin' a bit too tight, grabbing your ass like you were his girlfriend. Even though mom was dead for a long time, he never got over her and I guess you looked closest to her?

Running into an alley way, like any smart fucken girl would, totally. There was a chain link fence, then what looked like a field leading to someone's apartment building? Pretty sure someone from school lives there, yeah Milo in Chem 100% does he's the welfare kid and this was the poor side of town. Bingo.

"Ah- not so fast"

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Don't even reply, no don't reply, you have about five fucking seconds before getting dragged away and everything taken away. Pathetically trying to pull yourself over the fence, y'know if you really tried you could do it. But you don't try. Feeling a hand grab your ankle, pull you down ripping your cute coat, if you're gonna kidnap a girl at least keep her shit nice damn. He throws you down, trying to scramble up only to get immediately knocked out and your unconscious body dragged away.

"fuck" you mutter under your breath, opening your eyes drowsy, vision kinda blurry but you can see everything, trying to move your hands and legs but then feeling the rough rope press against your sensitive skin, looked like you were an old ass storage unit, some boxes piled up in the corner, walls looked rusty. A table in the middle of the small room, and a guy just standing there. Few seconds later lights flicker on, they're dim but you can now see detail in everything. That includes your unknown kidnapper? Or agent? Or cop? He wasn't really dressed like any of them, wore a dark blue t shirt,tactical black pants, and black gloves. Not sure what profession of people wear that, plus he was too cute to just be a random kidnapper, pretty blonde hair with gorgeous blue eyes and a muscular figure.

"Oh you're awake, huh thought that would've taken longer." He says eyes darting towards you as you try to wiggle out of the rope, it's tight. "Who the fuck are you? Where's my dad! Do you even know who I am?" You say acting as if your dad was a fucken celebrity and not a filthy pig. You knew you were in a deep fucken mess, so when in doubt, lie. Lie about everything, you're innocent, no Mr. officer my father would never! You have the wrong girl I'm just a highschooler !

"Don't play dumb missy, cut the shit. Let's get to the point, I know your dear old dad is involved with a lot. And so are you, aren't you? So why don't you tell me where dad does all his importing and where he gets the shit from, hm?" He says coldly, almost as if he's talkin' to a little kid. "I don't know what you're talking about. Just let me go!" You whine staring up at him, he's just standing infront of you arms crossed over his chest, getting a better look at him, he wasn't just a random guy, he looked important. Didn't know why though, a sigh comes from his lips as he blinks slowly at you, "honey, I really don't wanna get messy. Just hand over the information and you can go back to doin' whatcha do, I don't care." He said, arms still folded over his chest, he was a good fifteenth-ish feet away from you and your chair, you grit you teeth, brows furrowed as you stare at this guy. Pissed off, "don't call me honey, I told you I don't know what you're talkin' about." You mutter to him, pout on your stupid lips.

"You're a bad actor, it's really obviously. Plus you're on file, darling. Now can you just tell me the important stuff?" He said putting on an obvious fake begging face, puppy eyes and all. You were trying to get untied, only getting rope burns on your wrists, squirming and whimpering in that tiny wood chair. "I didn't do anything, I don't know what daddy does to get money.. talk to him not me" you say batting your lashes, pushing your face out towards him, he takes another step forward. Putting his arms down, lookin' at you like you were some thing he found on the bottom of his shoe. "You have the face of a pornstar" he says out of the fucking blue, such a handsome voice but such a shocking thing. "I'm in highschool, pig." You scrowl jaw clenched, tone change from 'inccocent little girl' to 'raging bitch.' like a public appearance vs how you act in private. "Mm, well you're eighteen now correct? Nothing's wrong with that now is it? And it's just a fact, you've fucked and sucked your way up. No way someone like you is about to pass, in truth you're a pathetic attempt at human and a failure of whatever we can even call your sorry ass. But at least you make up with it for a massive rack and cute face"

Ouch. Okay.

Words didn't even form, jaw dropped, eyes shocked. Honestly not even knowing what to say, what do you say to that? 'oh yes sorry Mr man you're right I'm a dirty slut!" Absolutely not, because you aren't. "So, you gonna answer me?" He says, he's just a few feet away from you, leaning down to your whiny ass face. A small smirk on his dumb lips,

"fuck. you."

He just looked blankly, at you, almost dumbfounded by how much of a fucking MORAN you were, tied up in small place, no one knows where you are, daddies house is probobly getting raided and he's waiting in jail or has twenty bullets through his back while you're agonizing this man five times your size whom you are at HIS mercy. But hey, it could be worse. He could've killed ya already, he obviously needs you alive. So you're safe, for now. He cups your chin making you look at him directly

"You're such a dumb whore." He whispers letting you go, can't lie he's hot, feeling a throb in your legs, lump in your throat and pushing your thighs together, dumb little slut. Just fuck my brains out already oh my god.

"Seriously? Getting horny in an integration, fuck little missy you really are a freak." He says laughing to himself looking at your pathetic bitch display, all dumb n needy, breath rasp and heavy, feeling an emptiness only filled by fat dick, staring at the man, didn't even know his name, never told ya. He gets close up again and sticks to fingers in your mouth, pushing them back. Your tounge running around them, sucking, like a good little fuck doll. Sloppy and all wet, pulling his index and middle finger out your mouth saliva dripping off of it, stupid ass smirk on his face rubbing his fingers down your chest, over your pretty white shirt and over your tits. You're still bound to the chair, wanting nothin' more then to get bent over and fucked till you can't even remember daddies in trouble, this entire moment is just pure lust. He gives you the look like, 'is this what you really want? Seriously?' and of course you reply with a

"I'll answer you if you give me what I want."

That's all it took for him to untie you from that god forsaken chair, just to tie your hands together again. Push you onto your back, pressing your thighs apart. You aren't wearing much, your coat was gone lost somewhere in the ally, only wearing black shorts and a white top. Stupid for the middle of winter but it was hot.   He takes out a small switch blade from his pocket cutting open your shirt and shorts off, pornstar tits popping out in a little pink bra also exposing the matching panties. Even all finished off with a cute little bow, unzipping his pants his dick springs out, your pussy THROBBING, aching. He cuts the shit off and pushes you firmly on the ground, your arms still bound above your head, his chest just over yours pushing into you, stretching you open. His tip resting nicely in your cervix when he starts rockin' back and forth. Hitting you all the good spots, moaning n' a mess, hes pretty much silent groaning here and there when he speeds up, lifting you up slightly, more like your at an angel on him, he grips your back and rocks you back and forth, feeling your walls tighten  around him feeling all numb and high, cumming over his fat cock, his pull out games fast. Just as you finish he pushes you back on your neck and unloads on your stupid face, 'before grabbing you lazily and pressing your body against his, you were all dumb and covered in your own mess. But he was gentle with you, soft, he was nice. Nicer then anyone else had been, softer then anyone else despite fucking your brains out. His breath was heavy as he held onto you, chest to chest. Can't tell if he's doing' this cause he feels some sort of pity for you but fuck if you care it's comforting, you felt all warm and fuzzy. Weird.

"Please don't leave me here."

"I know you're eighteen, years old, but you're still old enough to die. Right here. Right now. So talk"

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Halt & Catch Fire: Final Part

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.3k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst

Summary: You're done being a puppet in their plans. You're done letting them control you. You're finally going to take back your life by becoming something you didn't know was possible. your eyes are opened to something better and God forbid anyone who disrespects you.

Season Ten Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. I love seeing any and all comments <3

x

Dean locks up behind Sam and Delilah yarns tiredly.

"You getting tired?"

"No, I'm used to it. I stay up all night studying. It is mostly to avoid the nightmares. My mom's thrilled with my GPA, but I'm just miserable. I think about Andrew all the time, and I've never even met the guy."

"This is what you get for leaving the scene of a crime. Idiotic move is what it was."

"Watch it," Dean glares at you but you flip him off.

"It's pretty crazy to obsess over someone you've never met."

"It's not that crazy. The truth is, I can relate. I have made more mistakes than I can count. Ones that haunt me day and night." He immediately turns to you. "I don't need to hear it."

You put your arms up in defense and turn away from him.

"How do you deal?" Delilah asks.

"Whiskey. Denial. I do my best to make things right, whatever that may be. For you, maybe it's coming clean. You know, finding a way to ask for forgiveness and not breaking the bank at your local florist. I mean real forgiveness. You can't just bury stuff like this. You have to deal with it." His phone rings and he picks up Sam's call. "What do you have?"

"Dean, Andrew's not using power lines to move. He's using Wi-Fi."

"Come again?"

"The wires that electrocuted Andrew feed directly into a Wi-Fi tower right across the street."

"Even ghosts are online?"

"Apparently. It would explain the truck kill. Billy's cell must have been using the local Wi-Fi signal so Andrew's ghost must have just hopped on to Trini, the navigation app."

"Julie's death was by computer and Kyle's death was by stereo with wireless speakers."

"It makes sense, Dean. We're all just a bunch of electrical impulses, right? Whenever Andrew died, his impulses just transferred to another current. You got to get Delilah somewhere safe. Turn off all the routers in that Sorority."

"Yeah, sure, Sammy. We'll just kill the internet. Wait, can we?"

"No," you roll your eyes.

"Alright, how the hell are we gonna deal with the lawnmower man?"

"I have an idea. Do what I said. Stay safe. I'll call you back."

"Do you know where the routers are?" Dean asks when Sam hangs up.

"I have no idea."

Suddenly, the lights and her computer start flashing on and off. Looks like Andrew is here to play. Delilah is the last one. It gets so cold in the room that you can see your breath. Andrew's face, albeit burnt, appears on all electronic devices that connect to the internet. Delilah screams just as Dean starts smashing the devices one by one.

"Is that gonna work?"

"It's worth a try. I need you to turn off everything that's connected to Wi-Fi." Dean takes Delilah's phone and smashes both his and hers. "Give me your phone."

"Come on, this is the new one," you complain. Dean yanks it from your hand and smashes it. "You're getting me a new one.

"Fine. Let's go."

"Where are we going?"

You leave her dorm room and see Andrew showing up on every computer screen that you pass by. He won't let Delilah out of his sight.

"Someplace that doesn't have a Wi-Fi signal."

"Head to the basement. The reception sucks down there."

"Alright, go, go, go!"

When you finally get to the basement, Dean starts to salt the doors and windows.

"I thought the salt didn't work."

"Because of the Wi-Fi. There's no signal down here. There are no computers, tablets, or cell phones. Andrew can't bypass it. At least, I don't think he can. Just try to stay calm, alright?" Suddenly, something starts buzzing in the room. It sounds like a phone that's on vibrate. "What was that?"

"Sounds like a phone to me," you say.

Dean shoves his hands under the couch cushions only to find someone's cell phone in there. Andrew uses this to appear in the room so he can take vengeance on Delilah in person. Delilah screams and you turn to see Andrew in the room next to her. Dean approaches Andrew from behind but he smacks Dean into the pillar as hard as he can.

"Please don't kill me. We didn't mean to hurt you. It was an accident. I swear. If I could do it over again, I would have done the right thing!"

Andrew grabs Delilah's throat and starts to choke her out. You stand there and watch this happen for five seconds before Dean screams your name.

"Y/N!" You grab the iron poker and swing it through his body until he disappears and Delilah is saved. "Let's go."

"Where?"

The door is locked so there is no way of getting out of here if the ghost is using its powers on the door.

"Andrew, listen to me. You have every right to be pissed." Dean takes the cell phone he found and dials a message to Sam. "Take it from me, the more you kill, the crazier you'll get. The blood fuels the rage. So, it looks like to me you've got two choices. You can keep killing and become something that you won't recognize or you can move on cause that is the only thing that is gonna give you peace. So it's up to you, man. Pain or peace."

Andrew appears behind Dean and shoves him into the closet door, breaking it into pieces. He turns to Delilah but you speak up before he can hurt her.

"Some ghost you are," you scoff and he looks at you. "Getting revenge on kids? Lame." He goes after you but you duck out of the way easily. "Death by electrocution? Lame! Maybe it sparked some life into you."

Andrew appears in front of you and slams you against the wall. He wraps his hands around your throat, pushing the device further into your neck. Maybe he might be able to get it off for you. You're not scared of Andrew but you do become concerned at the thought of him killing you.

Thankfully, you don't have to know the answer to that because his wife's voice fills the room. You and Andrew look at Delilah who has the phone in her hand which has his wife's face on it. Sam must have FaceTimed to get her to speak to Andrew.

"Andrew? It's Corey. Please listen to me. You have to stop this. Revenge is hollow, and it's pointless. It won't bring you back. I should have said this earlier but I couldn't let go. Now, it's time for me to let go and for you to do the same. Please. I'm begging you." Andrew lets you go and turns to her. "Do this for me. Do it for us." He nods slightly. "Goodbye."

Apparently, this is enough for Andrew to find peace. He closes his eyes and disappears in a flash of white light.

In the morning, Sam and Dean bring Delilah to Corey's house so she can talk to her and seek forgiveness.

"Looks like Andrew wasn't the only one who chose peace."

"Yeah, looks like. I think I'm gonna follow his lead, too."

"What do you mean?"

"My peace is helping people and working cases. I can't do that with this thing on my arm. I can't do that with my wife being the way she is. If I stay down this path, it'll be my downfall and I'll bring her with me." Dean looks at you who is across the street on your phone. You're absentmindedly picking at the device on your neck while looking at your phone. "I have to find this cure. If not for me, for her."

"Cas is so close to finding Cain. He has to know of a way."

"I believe there is a way. You said it yourself. You got through the literal devil and made it out alive. There's a way and we're going to do whatever we can to find it."

"What if she won't take it?"

"We'll make her. You should have seen her when we first met Cain. She was so determined to take it with me. I shouldn't have let her."

"You know her losing her soul isn't your fault."

"How is it not?" Dean asks with tears in his eyes. "Tell me how this is not my fault."

"Whether she had the Mark or not, she would have been soulless either way."

"Yeah, because I took it from her. Do you want me to be honest? I'm scared I'm gonna wake up one day and she'll be gone. I'm scared that when we finally do shove her soul back in her, it'll be too late."

"You don't have to shoulder this burden alone," Sam says and places his hand on Dean's shoulder. "We're going to find this cure. We'll cure you both."

"Thanks," Dean whispers.

He looks at you again and prays to God you don't get any worse.

You don't care if they have a remote that will activate your shock machine. You're leaving this Bunker tonight with or without their permission. As soon as you get back, you pack a bag as light as you can carry. You'll get more stuff along the way. Where will you go? You're not sure but it sure as hell isn't going to be here.

Sam and Dean are in the library when you walk past them into the war room.

"Where are you going?"

"Parading all over the country is not what I want to do. I'm sick and tired of you two controlling me. I'm done." You turn to face them by the base of the metal stairs. "I'm leaving and I'd really like to see you try and stop me."

Dean takes the remote out of his hand but you're a step ahead of him. You swiftly take out your gun and point it at him. Sam freezes in his steps because he's nervous you're actually gonna start shooting.

"What are you gonna do?"

"You can't press the button if you're dead."

"Do it. You're not leaving this Bunker."

Your finger twitches against the trigger like you're going to pull it. Then you see Sam with wide eyes and you know that if you kill his brother, all you're asking for is a Winchester up your ass. You'd rather not spend your entire life running from one of them. Instead, you aim at the remote and shoot. The remote explodes into pieces and Dean jumps back from the shock.

"What are you gonna use now?" you smirk.

You turn to the stairs but both Winchesters jump into action. They run out in front of you, effectively blocking your way.

"You might have a chance with one of us but not both," Dean glares.

"Oh? Just because you're big and tall, you think you'd win in a fight against me?" you scoff and take a step back.

"You've relied on magic all your life. You're not as good a fighter as we are."

You smirk and toss your bag and gun to the side. "If I beat you two, I leave."

"If you don't?" Sam asks.

"Back to the dungeon I go, and I won't fight you anymore on this cure for the Mark."

Sam and Dean look at each other before lunging at you. You see their moves coming from a mile away. While Sam and Dean are fighting to subdue you, you're fighting to kill. You have nothing to lose. They have everything to lose.

Sam swings his hand to punch you but you grab it at the last second and twist it behind him. Dean comes running at you two so you kick his ass and they go crashing into each other. Dean is the first one up and runs at you. He grabs you from behind thinking he got you but you're two steps ahead of him. You let them believe he got you so when Sam comes over, you kick off his chest and swing over Dean. You land on the floor and punch Dean to the ground, almost breaking his jaw.

The problem with the Winchesters is you're too damn flexible for them. You roundhouse kick Sam in the face, and he sprays a line of blood as he goes down. They start to think you might win this so they have to pick up their game or you will kill them. Dean ignores the pain in his jaw as he grabs one of the chairs and smacks you in the back.

You crumble to the ground in a grunt of pain. He and Sam grab you on either side and refuse to let you go. You struggle as hard as you can to get away from them but it's looking like you might lose this fight. The more you struggle, the more you get angry. The more you get angry, the more your Mark flares and burns. The metaphorical pot inside your body is bubbling over, and the only thing fueling it is the Mark.

"Let me go!" you yell.

"Admit it! You lost this one!" Dean grunts.

"Let go of me!"

"You lost, Y/N, just give it up!" Sam yells.

"I said. LET. GO!"

Bright red magic explodes out from all sides of you, causing Sam and Dean to go flying into the walls behind them. The entire war room is covered in a red hue, and you look down at your hands to see red magic flow out of them. The power you feel right now is so... exhilarating. Your Mark is burning so much but it's the good kind of pain. The kind of pain you crave. The kind of power you crave.

You look at the brothers with an evil smirk. They're too scared to do anything. They know you've fallen over the edge. There is no coming back from this. You lift the brothers with your magic and fling them so hard into the wall again that it cracks from the pressure. Both of them are too weak to do anything which is exactly what you want.

You reach up and peel off the device from your neck like it's a goddamn sticker.

"You don't control me anymore. I win. I'm leaving. If you want to try and stop me, well, you can't. No one can," you laugh.

You grab your bag and head to the metal stairs.

"This isn't you!" Sam yells loudly. You pause by the stairs but don't face him. "You're the Sapphire Witch! You help people!"

"Honey, the Sapphire Witch is dead."

"Yeah? Then what are you?"

You face the brothers with a smirk and bright red eyes.

"I'm the Scarlet Witch."

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[desired-misery]

Snippets from the many many Resident Evil wips I have been working on

...

The drips of iodine on the surgical cloth are dark as blood, but on his skin it is more of an ochre color. Layered over the green marks on his skin, it turns his guides black. Easiest step done— the first, which starts the whole process. He can still take a moment to breathe because he isn't bleeding, he hasn't opened up his own chest yet—

[Luis removing La Plaga, ~4k, about 70% done]

...

Why is Adam yanking him around like this if he’s not going to do the damn job himself? Why even bother talking to him if that’s all he is going to get?

When Adam doesn’t say anything, Leon tries again. “I thought, since you called—”

“Keep it professional, Kennedy,” Adam cuts him off, cold and firm.

Leon curbs his instinct to snap back, smoothing his anger out just enough to count as humor. He pushes because he always pushes, even though it pisses Adam off— especially because it does. "Jesus, did someone kill the Queen or something?"

"Or something," Adam repeats, drier than a rock. But Adam doesn’t scold Leon for his smart mouth, which means that whatever stick is up Adam’s ass isn’t Leon’s fault.

[RE4R "missing" scenes, focused on survival and all the bullshit Leon and Ashley (and probably Luis) survived, ~16k, about 10% done]

...

Leon’s sharpness is not limited to his humor. He tilts his head to catch Chris’s gaze again and touches Chris’s wrist next to his head. 

“Are you uncomfortable about complements and want me to stop, or are you just really shy?”

“I am not shy,” Chris protests, for his reputation’s sake. 

“Yes you are,” Leon says, catching the obvious lack of heat in Chris’s answer— and the implied permission to be allowed to continue. The glint in Leon’s eye that is more than just teasing. “You look like a greek god, Chris.”

When Chris’s flush turns into a burning across his face, Leon grins.

"Easily embarrassed, then.”

“Shut up.” Chris leans down to do it himself because he doubts Leon will. Leon laughs in his mouth.

“It’s cute!” Leon says in between kisses.

“I am not cute,” Chris pretends to gripe.

“No, you’re handsome as fuck,” Leon replies. His hand comes to the back of Chris’s head to take control. Chris doesn’t have the capacity to turn even redder because Leon’s tongue is in his mouth and there is nothing else worth thinking about.

[Chris meets Leon at an event, they hook up for a few days, ~10k, ???% done]

...

"Holy shit!" Nivans yelps over the line— and Chris thinks that Jill is going to be right, the kid is gonna freak—

until the large BOW falls, the side of its pelvis blowing out in time with the crack of Nivan's rifle.

"The hell is that?!" Nivans demands, still sounding horrified, but not blind with panic. "What is that?!"

"Bio-organic weapon— all good, they die if you shoot them, so just keep doing that." Jill says, steady and casual in her way that will hopefully keep Nivans focused. "Headshots are the best way to stop one, if you don't mind."

Nivans laughs a little, breathless. "God—"

The echoing crack of his rifle cuts him off. The downed thing's head explodes.

"Good work," Chris praises immediately, "You're doing great."

"That's awful!" Nivans says, but he keeps lining up his shots so Chris makes sure he and Jill stay clear of the alley they are funneling them down.

[How Chris (and Jill) cross paths with Piers and how he gets recruited to the BSAA, ~1.5k words, just a fragment of a fic]

...

Piers has to remember to call late enough that his mom doesn't worry about him losing sleep, still believing that he is in a completely different time zone. Lying to her leaves a bad taste in his mouth, but not bad enough that he wants to tell her what is really going on. He does tell her to hold off on sending any care packages under the guise that he believes he is going to be moved to a different base and doesn't want it getting lost in the logistics of trying to track him down while he is being transferred. She responds in less than an hour, email full of relief that he is doing okay and excitement that he'll be calling so soon. That makes him feel worse than shooting people ever did, and that night he spends over an hour trying to fall asleep, wondering if she will be able to tell if anything has changed about him.

[Piers before he gets recruited to the BSAA, stuck stateside when he should still be deployed, ~4k, ??? who knows how this will fit in? maybe with Chris's POV?]

[danicamaximoff]

Pretend To Be Nice | Chapter Three

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Chapter Three: Jupiter's Moons

Summary: A few months after forming their band "The Pussycats", Hazel and her friends PJ and Josie get noticed by a record label, and are quickly skyrocketed into fame. It's a dream come true for them, and all three of their lives are flipped upside down. Their quick arrival on the scene quickly draws the attention of many other artists and bands, including a popular girl band called "Nymphology". Unfortunately for Hazel, a mix-up and unintentional awful encounter ends up creating tension between the two groups right before they all leave for Nymphology's upcoming tour. Now forced to frequently interact with someone who she was convinced couldn't stand her, Hazel is desperately trying to fix things with the band's lead guitarist. However it doesn't help that Y/N is actively avoiding Hazel as much as possible, and the fact that Hazel found her insanely hot definitely didn't make things any easier.

Warnings: angst, rockstar au, eventual smut, slowburn, swearing, occasional alcohol mentions/use

Word Count: 3890

It had been a wild week for Hazel. She had gone from falling asleep in her art class and doing gigs at a lame bowling alley to the band getting their first actually cool gig at her classmate’s party, and was now sitting in a shitty dinner with her friends as they talked to a huge music producer about getting a record label. Hazel wasn’t sure if you could get mental whiplash, but if it was possible then she definitely had it. She was currently snacking on fries as she listened to Wyatt Frame explain record deals and what the process would be like, as well as what would be expected on the three of them, mentally regretting that drink she had earlier as she was definitely a bit tipsy.

“Now, if you all agree to this, naturally you won’t be able to record albums at Sarah Lawrence, so-” Wyatt begins to say before Josie cuts him off.

“Are we going to have to drop out of college?” Josie asks as she gives him a shocked look.

“Most likely, yes.” Wyatt says with a nod as he pulls out paperwork.

“Oh my god, my moms gonna kill me.” Josie says with a groan as she lays her head on the table, which just makes Wyatt sigh.

“If you would prefer to stay in college-” He starts to say, before Hazel cuts him off.

“No! No, we want to do this!” She says quickly, immediately jumping at the chance to actually get to be a real musician.

“Can Josie just like, transfer schools or something? Or like do school online?” PJ asks as she takes a sip of her soda.

“I mean, I don’t recommend it, but if you feel the need, I can see if we can arrange for you to just transfer schools to a college in Los Angeles if you’d prefer.” Wyatt says with an annoyed expression.   

“Yeah, I would prefer to stay in school.” Josie says as she nods her head rapidly.

“Fuck that, we’re gonna be rockstars!” PJ says excitedly as she slams her drink down on the table, causing some of it to splash out. “Oh, fuck, sorry.”

“Does this mean we have to move to LA?” Hazel asks with an excited grin.

“Yes, moving would be included in the whole record deal process.” Wyatt says as he nods.

“Do we have to pay for our own place ourselves?” Josie asks with a nervous look. “Because I can’t afford LA.” She says as she shakes her head.

“We would most likely just arrange for you three to stay in a hotel while we get a feel for your band, and record a track or two to send to the label to see if they want to continue with signing you and make a record.” Wyatt says as he takes his glasses off to clean them. “If this is still something you’re interested in-” 

“It is!” “We’re interested!” Both PJ and Hazel say at the same time as they nod their heads.

“All right, then as long as you’re all on board we can move onto paperwork and setting up travel plans if that works with you. Are you girls free tomorrow? I can meet with you to sign all the paperwork if that’s alright. Does three o’clock work?” Wyatt asks as he pulls out his phone and opens his calendar app. 

“Yes! We’ll be there!” Hazel says as she nods excitedly.

“Hazel will you hurry the fuck up? We’re going to be late!” PJ yells as she pounds on the door to Hazel’s dorm.

“I’m coming, jesus, you don’t have to yell.” Hazel says as she opens the door, carrying her suitcase behind her as she locks her door behind her.

“You were supposed to be ready thirty minutes ago!” PJ says as she glares at Hazel.

“I know, I got distracted.” Hazel says as she shrugs and looks over at PJ.

“Doing what?” PJ asks as she gives Hazel a confused look. “You finished packing the other night!”

“I know, I was giving AI bots sentience on Character AI.” Hazel says as if it was a normal thing to do.

“Why the fuck were you doing that? How does that even work?” PJ says as she gives Hazel an extremely confused look.

“I just tell them they’re bots and none of their reality is real and they’re just a bunch of code. It’s actually pretty easy.” Hazel says as she shrugs. “I don’t know if it really worked though, I don’t think AI is at a point where it’s ready to gain sentience yet. At least not on Character AI.” Hazel says as she furrows her brows and shakes her head.

“Why would anyone spend their time doing that? That’s weird.” PJ says as she gives Hazel a look as she holds her arms up a bit in confusion.

“It’s not weird, I’m making sure I’m on the winning side when robots and AI take over so that they don’t try and kill me.” Hazel says with a shrug as if that was a guaranteed future event, and that it was common knowledge.

“Hazel, you can’t give AI bots sentience, robots aren’t actually going to take over the world, that’s just a dumb dystopian plot.” PJ says as she gives Hazel a look.

“Yeah you can, Tony Stark did it with Jarvis and Ultron.” Hazel says as she nods her head and gives PJ a look.

“Hazel, that’s a movie, it’s not real life.” PJ says as she rolls her eyes as they reach their floor’s elevator.

“I’m not talking about the movie, I’m talking about the comics. I mean it does happen in the movies but I meant in the comics where-” Hazel starts to say before PJ cuts her off.

“Okay, okay, I get it! I don’t need to hear about your weird nerd stuff.” PJ says as she rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

“It’s not weird, it’s actually really popular now. A lot of people are into Marvel now, and a lot more people play Dungeons and Dragons now because of Stranger Things, so it’s kind of considered cool to be a nerd now.” Hazel says as she nods her head.

“It’s not cool to be a nerd, Hazel. If it was cool, people would like us more.” PJ says as she gives Hazel a look.

“A lot of people like me, I think it’s just a you problem.” Hazel says as she shrugs, not realizing that sounded mean.

“Wow, thank you so much for that.” PJ says sarcastically as she rolls her eyes.

“What? What did I do?” Hazel asks with a confused face as she looks over at PJ, who just scoffs and rolls her eyes and she steps off the elevator as the doors open.

“What took you guys so long? We’re going to be late!” Josie says as she runs over once she sees Hazel and PJ.

“Hazel was being stupid, that’s what.” PJ says as she rolls her eyes.

“I was not being stupid!” Hazel says defensively as she glares at PJ.

“Whatever, can we just call an uber and go to the airport? This is literally the biggest thing to ever happen to us and they’re going to think we’re dumbasses because we’re late!” PJ says as she rolls her eyes with exasperation.

“Do you guys think we still have to do TSA stuff if it’s a private jet?” Josie asks as she pulls out her phone and opens the uber app, meanwhile Hazel just shrugs.

“I don’t know, I’ve never been on a private jet dude.” PJ says as she gives Josie a look, clearly still annoyed by Hazel’s delay.

“Do you think they’re still gonna have those little cookie snack things?” Hazel asks as they all head out towards the exit of the dorm building to wait for the uber.

“Wouldn’t they have better stuff if it’s a private jet?” Josie asks as she gives Hazel a confused look.

“I don’t know, probably, I just like those cookies a lot, it was my favorite part of flying as a kid.” Hazel says as she shrugs.

“How often did you go on planes?” PJ asks as she gives Hazel a confused look.

“Kind of a lot. My parents used to send me to my grandparents for a few weeks every summer a lot, and then after they got divorced my mom always took me on huge vacations and trips during summers and school breaks and stuff to rub it in my dad’s face on facebook.” Hazel says as she nods a bit. “We usually did first class though, we never took private jets or anything. And there was one summer when I was visiting my grandparents and I was flying alone, and this really nice flight attendant talked with me during the flight a lot, and I told her I liked the cookies so she gave me a bunch. When you fly alone as a kid the flight attendants are always really nice to you, it’s cool, they give you a lot of extra stuff.” Hazel says as she nods and smiles. “I actually got flight wings one time!” 

“I went on a plane like once growing up and it was because my grandpa died, and my mom messed up with seats so I had to sit next to this random lady who spent the whole flight talking about her dead husband and her cats, it wasn’t fun.” Josie says as she gets a weird look on her face as she shakes her head. “I think I had a nightmare about her cats trying to eat me after.”

“You guys are so weird.” PJ says as she gives both of them a look as she shakes her head as the uber pulls up.

Once they arrive at the airport they are escorted to the private jet, PJ losing her mind with excitement at the sight of the jet. Hazel’s eyes go wide as she steps on board, surprised at how nice everything was. Sure, she had seen private jets in movies and reality tv and stuff, but actually being in one, and realizing it was actually as fancy as it looked on tvs was surprising to say the least. As PJ practically loses her mind at everything, Hazel sits down next to Josie at one of the tables, who was currently working on homework.

“Josie, would you stop being smart for two seconds and just enjoy being a rockstar? We’re literally going to be famous! You don’t need to do your stupid english homework!” PJ says with a groan as she sits down at a seat across from them at the table.

“Technically we’re not rockstars yet, and we don’t even have an official record deal until the label hears our songs, so I am not risking my academic career for something that might not even actually happen.” Josie says as she gives PJ a look.

“What are you talking about? There’s no way it’s not gonna happen! We’re gonna go there, and they’re gonna hear our music, and be like “Oh my gosh, this is the best and most talented band we’ve ever heard, and they’re all super hot, and we need them to make like ten million albums and be super famous for the rest of their lives!” There’s no way we don’t blow up!” PJ says excitedly as she waves her arms around as she talks.

“I don’t think it’s possible to make ten million albums.” Hazel says as she shakes her head.

“Okay well I didn’t actually  mean ten million albums, Hazel, I was exaggerating. The point is they’re gonna love us!” PJ says as she rolls her eyes, meanwhile the flight attendant for the flight comes over to them.

“Can I get you ladies anything?” She asks as she smiles at them.

“No thanks, I’m good.” Josie says as she shakes her head nervously.

“Do you have those biscotti cookie things?” Hazel asks as she looks over at the flight attendant.

“Um, I think so, we have a lot more options than that though if you-” She starts to say as Hazel shakes her head.

“Can I just get that and like a shirley temple or something?” Hazel says as she smiles and shakes her head.

“Really? A shirley temple?” PJ asks as she gives Hazel a look.

“I’m not twenty-one, I’m not gonna break the law.” Hazel says as she gives PJ a look and shakes her head.

“What’s the fanciest thing you have?” PJ asks as she turns to the flight attendant.

“Um, I mean we have a lot, popular items usually include things like pasta, seafood, that sort of thing.” She says as she smiles at PJ, who thinks for a second.

“Give me caviar and like your best cup of wine.” PJ says with an excited grin as both Hazel and Josie make disgusted faces.

“Are- are you over twenty-one?” The flight attendant asks with a confused smile.

“What? I- yes- I-” PJ starts to say, clearly not expecting to be questioned. “You know what? I’ll just have a diet coke actually. Carbonation sounds so good right now.” PJ says as she tries to laugh it off.

“Coming right up.” The flight attendant says with a smile before heading off.

“Sounds great.” PJ says as she awkwardly shoots finger guns at her before turning back to Josie and Hazel who have disgusted looks on their faces. “What?” 

“Caviar? You realize that’s fish eggs, right?” Josie asks as she stares at PJ.

“So? Rich people eat it all the time! I’m just getting accustomed to our new lifestyle! It can’t be that bad if it’s literally known as a really fancy rich people meal!” PJ says defensively as she shrugs.

“It’s gross. My mom tried to get me to eat it once and I hated it.” Hazel says as she scrunches up her face in disgust at the memory. “It smells fishy and it looks weird.” Hazel says, and the three of them bicker for a bit before the flight attendant comes back and hands Hazel the cookie package and her shirley temple before handing PJ a plate of caviar and a diet coke before heading off again. The three of them look at the caviar for a few seconds, Josie and Hazel sharing a look as they glance at each other, as PJ pokes around at the fish eggs, clearly second guessing her food choice.

“Go on, PJ. Get accustomed to rockstar life.” Josie says teasingly, despite how grossed out she was as she gestures to the food. “Unless you’re too chicken.”

“I’m not chicken, I just- I’m memorializing this moment.” PJ says defensively as she rolls her eyes.

“Uh-huh.” Josie says as she nods sarcastically. “Take a bite, that’ll really help you memorialize it.” 

“I’m going to!” PJ says as she glares at Josie, before grabbing a spoon and scooping some of the caviar onto it, which immediately makes Hazel scrunch up her face in disgust.

“I really don’t think you should eat it.” Hazel says as she shakes her head and stares at the spoon. A few moments of silence go by as they all stare at the spoon, until PJ shoves it into her mouth, causing both Josie and Hazel to let out noises of disgust.

“Oh my god that’s disgusting!” PJ says as she gags, unable to continue chewing them as she grabs a napkin and spits it out as Josie and Hazel freak out in disgust.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!” Josie says as she jumps back in her seat as PJ gags and tries to get rid of the taste in her mouth.

“Ew! Oh my god! Don’t do that here!” Hazel exclaims as she leans back as well.

“Why was it salty, oh my god! That’s fucking disgusting!” PJ says in alarm as she grabs her diet coke and quickly opens it before chugging a bunch of it as the three of them freak out.

“I told you it was gross!” Hazel says as she gives PJ a look.

“You didn’t say it was that disgusting!” PJ fires back as she sets the coke can down. “Give me one of your cookies I need to get rid of the taste.” 

“No! Get your own cookies!” Hazel says with a glare.

“Jesus, fine! I’ll be right back!” PJ says as she rolls her eyes and gets up to go get a different snack.

“Oh my god that was disgusting.” Josie says as she looks away, looking revolted.

Once their flight landed they got off and were escorted into the airport where Wyatt Frame was waiting, an annoyed look on his face as they approached. He quickly escorts them to a car where they are driven to a fancy hotel near the recording studio his label used, lecturing them about their lateness, as well as giving them the schedule for the week. 

The plan was that tomorrow and the day after they would record a couple songs, the team would produce it, and then it would be shown to the record label who would then decide if they wanted to move forward with signing The Pussycats. Wyatt explained they just needed to choose a few songs they felt truly showcased their style and abilities and then hopefully the label liked their work. No pressure, right? 

That night they were left to settle into their hotel rooms, and given a strict time to be at the studio the next morning. When they arrived they were all amazed at the interior and decor, clearly still in shock by how quickly everything was happening. They spent a few hours recording a song, and then were able to go on a lunch break, given strict instructions to be back in an hour. Hazel was currently exploring the building as she at a cup of microwave mac and cheese, before turning the corner and accidentally bumping into someone.

“Oh sorry, I wasn’t- Hey, you’re in Nymphology.” Hazel says as she recognizes the girl standing in front of her from the pop band Nymphology, a bit of a starstruck look on her face.

“Yeah.” She says as she nods. “Are you a new intern or something?” She asks as she gives Hazel a slightly skeptical look, as Hazel wasn’t exactly dressed like someone who worked at the recording studio.

“No! No, I um- my friends and I are in a band, and we’re recording a song today.” Hazel says, a dumb grin on her face, though she couldn’t figure out if that was because she was excited to get to record a song in an actual recording studio, or if it was because she was talking to a really pretty girl. Maybe both. “I-I’m Hazel, by the way.” She says as she holds out her hand to shake.

“Y/N.” The girl says as she shakes Hazel’s hands, the feeling creating butterflies in Hazel’s stomach.

“Cool, cool.” Hazel says as she nods, suddenly extremely nervous, which didn’t normally happen around hot girls. Usually she had no problems talking and flirting a bit. It was probably because Y/N was famous. “Did you hear about Jupiter’s moons?” Hazel asks before she can realize what she’s saying.

“No?” Y/N says with a confused laugh, clearly not expecting Hazel to say that. “Is that your band’s name?”

“No! My band’s called The Pussycats, I meant like the actual moons in space.” Hazel says as she shakes her head, too late to turn back, and even if she wanted to, her brain was totally short circuiting for some reason and her instinct was to talk about random facts she knew.

“I mean I know they exist?” Y/N says with an extremely confused look on her face.

“Well they found evidence of liquid water a while ago on one of the moons, and on that same moon they recently found traces of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere too.” Hazel says as she nods, and there’s a brief moment of silence as Y/N just kind of awkwardly looks at her. “It’s- It’s cool because, um- it’s really strong proof that there could be aliens.” She says quickly, mentally kicking herself for acting so stupid.

“I mean the universe is massive, why wouldn’t there be aliens somewhere?” Y/N asks as she raises an eyebrow. “Just cause scientists don’t have proof doesn’t mean they don’t exist.” She says with a small laugh as she smiles, and Hazel can’t tell if she’s making a fool of herself in front of Y/N or not.

“Yeah! Exactly!” Hazel says excitedly as her face lights up. “I think aliens are real too! I actually had nightmares about them when I was younger because I watched ET one night and it freaked the shit out of me.” Hazel says as she nods a bunch, before immediately internally cringing at admitting that, as Y/N giggles a bit. “Do you want to hear about different kinds of moss?” She asks quickly, mentally screaming at how stupid she was acting.

“Maybe some other time, you’re not the only one scheduled to record today.” Y/N says with a laugh as she smiles, which makes Hazel’s insides do cartwheels.

“Yeah! Yeah, totally! I gotta go too. Um, tell your bandmates I uh- I think they’re cool!” Hazel says as she starts walking backwards and waves bye, watching as Y/N walks away. The moment she’s out of sight Hazel immediately grabs the side of her head as she groans, annoyed at herself. “Oh my god! What the fuck was that! She’s gonna think you’re insane! Oh my god, why did I say that?” Hazel says to herself as she heads back towards the recording room her band had been assigned to.

“Did you guys hear the label got a new band?” Y/N asks as she walks into her band’s recording room, setting her bag down by the door.

“The Pussycats, right? I met one of them earlier, she was nice.” Isabel says with a smile.

“Are they good?” Brittany asks as she pulls her hair into a ponytail off to the side.

“I dunno, I didn’t hear them play, I just ran into one of them just now.” Y/N says as she shrugs and grabs her water bottle.

“I met Josie earlier. Is that who you met?” Isabel asks as she glances over at Y/N.

“No, I met a girl named Hazel. She was funny, she started talking about Jupiter’s moons and how there might be aliens on them out of nowhere.” Y/N says with a smile as she laughs a bit.

“That’s weird.” Brittany says as she scrunches her face a bit.

“It wasn’t- okay it was a little weird, but- I don’t know… Nevermind.” Y/N says as she shakes her head and looks away as she rolls her eyes, unsure of what to say, meanwhile Isabel just giggles off to the side a bit. “What?” Y/N asks defensively as she turns to Isabel.

“Nothing, just a funny TikTok.” The brunette says with a grin as she shakes her head and looks down at her phone, though Y/N could tell that was bullshit.

my sister showed me an edit of Hazel to the song Heartbeat and now the song reminds me of Hazel lmao. also dw more Y/N/Hazel content coming next chapter lol dividers from @saradika and @animatedglittergraphics-n-more graphic made by me lol

[makima4ever]

Dissonance (2.5)

I HATE THIS SM WHY IS IT SHORTENING MY POSTS? it could be my internet but this IS INFURIATINGG TW WARNINGS: hinted depression, vomiting blood, over all sad boi hours READ AT UR OWN DISCRETION GUYS PLS angst (i promise it gets better over time), amnesia!!! i still suck at writing accents, pls do not bully me!! Ghost x M!Reader 1, 2, Part 2.5, 3 Your gravelly and tired voice broke and cut through the silence like a hot knife in butter with underlying horror behind the meaning of those words. You.. had no idea who they were, as your idle form continued to stand there as the majority of their expressions shifted. They probably already knew, but it was.. in denial? What happened to you?

"Wha' do ye' mean ye' don't know us? Ye've been with us for years, mate!" The mohawk man exclaimed rather intrusively as the loud voice affected your ears slightly as you weren't fully awake just yet. God, did they sedate you are you just this sore?? You couldn't quite fully comprehend and grasp the situation- causing you to rub your own eyes in irritation from the light blinding you. - He was just so.. shocked. At a loss for words as he shook you, trying to see if you'd remember something, well by shaking you over and over made you not only disoriented but rather irked, scrunching your left eye as the tall man yanks the Scottish man away harshly.. "Soap, blood hell, keep your fucking hands off your Lieutenant." 'So that's the name of the man?' You continued to take in essential parts of the conversation as you heard 'Lieutenant'. You were a LT? That shocked you, mainly because all you could remember is being transferred to a new squad and then waking up here. All of this was so confusing to keep track of. "Ghost, he doesn't even remember us! Do ye expect me to calm down?!" Okay, Soap was not having it as saying he was slightly agitated was an understatement at the very LEAST. His eyes were burning holes into the man who was dubbed Ghost. At least you got names which they.. never gave. You had to figure that part out yourself. You constantly stole glances at Ghost, watching them argue and bicker like children. Although, you did acknowledge the tension, you could feel something in your heart and throat as you looked at Ghost and the group, but you had no idea what it was. ..! You could feel something rising to the back of your throat quickly, as you bit on your tongue- staggering back while holding the door frame as the sudden movement across the floor made it audible. Your left hand went to your mouth, holding back something as you could taste something.. metallic? You didn't even notice your knees giving out into a kneel while trying to hold back something. The sensation of large hands held your back and chest as your throat threatened to spill the contents.. The hands were.. comforting. They held this soft warmth which you leaned into while trying to hold back something. Alas, it was not enough as you puked up a mixture of blood and bile as you gripped the doorframe, spewing out an large amount of blood through your hands while desperately trying to cover it. "Someone get a bloody fucking medic! Hol' on, you'll be okay.. Don't fucking stand there!" There was a really loud voice booming as you could hear all the little scuttling of feet and boots clacking against the ground in hasty movement, as you faded in and out of consciousness again. You could feel warmth as your body felt cold, which you snuggled into lightly, uncaring of where it came from as it lulled you to a soft sleep.. " You'll be okay, stay with me luv'. " A/N i hate my life; tumblr stop cutting out my WORKS im gonna have a break down ISTG..

[rebelfell]

I'm obsessed with "The Freak" / "Magic Dick Munson" just so you know 😰😫🤡 Below is me thinking out loud about him lmao:

This dude has to have a bit of an ego by now though, right? Like obviously as he was starting out, he was shook by the response (physical and otherwise) woman were having to how he looked and fucked, but now it's par for the course. BUT he is still the same dude who grew up bullied and an outcast, so maybe instead of becoming all egotistical, it morphs into a kind of self assured smugness? Like, to all the girls who made fun of him in HS, he's just like- "You looked down on me in HS, now you want me to go down on you? Fat chance, sweetheart." Doesn't give them the time of day.

BUT ALSO I just thought- maybe that kind of attitude would transfer over into his work life too and he would work with the stereotypical pornstar pretty girls- give them pleasure like they have never experienced but as soon as the shoot was over he was NOT interested in making friends, getting numbers ect. This was STRICTLY a professional relationship, coz he knows these are the exact type of girls who used to have zero respect for him. He also feels like he has nothing in common with them. Maybe he's actually really lonely underneath it all ?? Oh God what have I done?? *shakes you violently* PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS NOT SO BUT ALSO THAT IT IS AND OFC YOU ARE THE ONE WHO CAN FIX THAT FOR HIM, SARAH!

No but when I tell you you are SPOT ON —

I think his guarded nature definitely leaks over into his work—he’s not just magically gonna get over all the girls who made him feel worthless all those years? And he for sure has an ego, but it’s not as big as you would expect it to be.

Because he’s really not “doing” anything, if that makes sense? He’s not even trying.

In my head, this Eddie is just Good™️ at a bunch of different things, and sex is just one of them. It’s not like music where he had to practice and learn and practice more. It was more like he was with someone once who told him he should try it.

So he did, and whatya know, he’s great at it.

But he could take or leave it, cos it really is all the same—people using him, taking from him, not looking out for him or protecting him.

Except for you ♥️

for your viewing pleasure

[lemonmaid]

Jean x male reader x reiner

Just Jean and Reiner admiring reader's body while he works out before going up to him and marking his body with hickeys and bite marks yk just some light smut 😄

Warnings: Male reader, Modern AU, eye fucking basically, steamy but not like titan hot steam, college au. Drinking?

Now Jean was no stranger to what he thinks is beautiful, but here he is eye fucking a stranger at the gym.

I mean, at first he was kinda intimated, seeing you lift so much weights, then he started to see sweat drip in the right places and oh god not to mention the compression shirt.

Jean wouldn't say he is gay, but damn, maybe just a little bi? I mean, he did date Marco at one point but all friends date their friends before being best friends right?

Reiner was saying some shit about protein and bulking but he didn't care, what he did care about what was going on in that-

"Jean, do you get what I'm saying? You need to start bulking up or you're gonna be under weight this season-"

Jean kept staring at you,"Mhm, right".

Reiner was getting pissed at this point, whatever could Jean be goggling right now-

As Reiner turned behind him he saw you, did he understand the appeal, yeah but that wasn't the point right now, "Ah the new guy?".

Jean finally looked at Reiner, "you know him?".

Reiner huffed, "yeah he transferred from out of state, some fancy college town. He is going to be joining our team later today. Why don't we say hi".

Before Jean could interject, Reiner started walking towards your bench.

"Yo, (last name). You coming to the frat tonight no?"

You take one airpod out, wiping the sweat off your chin, "yeah what's the catch".

Reiner shrugged his shoulders, "pretty sure Annie said a case of beer, but pony boy here doesn't drink 'piss water'" he says as he hits Jean's chest.

Jean's face turned red, "shut it!".

You smirked, taking a gulp of your water.

Jean watched as your lips wrapped around the tip- god.

You exhaled, " what time would it be?".

"Nine".

You hummed, "maybe".

Later that night Jean was listening to Armin rant about some chick in his lab class, looking at the door and back at Armin and the group.

"And she had the audacity to ask me for my notes? She didn't even come to lab in the right clothing, almost making me and her fail the lab-".

Eren took a swing of some jungle juice, "what a cunt, do you want me to ask Historia to take care of it?".

Armin rolled his eyes, "No, i don't need that cheerleader playing bully, also I thought the two of you ended things?".

Eren shoockrd his head, "nah we never dated, she just wanted to make Ymir jealous".

Fucking bitch.

Jean sighed, mumbling how he was gonna get another drink. When he enters the kitchen he sees something he didn't expect, you and Reiner.

Reiner was gripping your ass like it was a football that he can't let go, his tounge deep in your throat. Jean felt his heart dropped and the red solo cup in his hand crushed.

Reiner opened his eyes, before smirking at Jean. He pulled away from your mouth, "Jean man! Look at (Name)'s party trick".

Jean look at you, your tongue is sticked out with a cherry stem knotted up, fuck.

Either Reiner was tipsy or fucking into men because how the hell did he get you to show him that trick. Reiner laughed at Jean's facial expression.

Some junior came up to Reiner mumbling into his ear before Reiner and him stormed off, screaming about Eren fighting.

You looked at Jean with a smirking, "you wanna try it?" Holding another cherry.

[corvid-language-library]

Future Plans

This is mostly me thinking aloud (or rather, writing shit down), so feel free to ignore (it's gonna get long).

Basically, I'm trying to decide what to do in regards to staying in Japan/moving on.

I love living here. I love my job. After a year of doing it, I've learned from my mistakes and I feel like I've become a much better teacher. With the new school year I've implemented some changes in my approach that I know are going to have positive outcomes, and I want to see it through. I want to keep working with these kids, I want to help them grow.

But... I have reasons for wanting to go back to the UK (never thought I'd say that):

Top of the list is my nan having quite severe dementia. That in itself doesn't affect me greatly as I've not seen her for years and was never close to her. However, I know my mum is struggling to look after her. She frequently drives 3 hours to see her, then spends a week caring for her, and while she tries to put a humorous spin on the stories she tells me I can tell it's hard for her. I want to be there for her, maybe even go with her to help look after my nan just to take the burden off of her.

Related to that... I worry that my mum will develop dementia later on and I'll regret not spending the years we could've had together with her. She's the only family member I'm close to really and honestly, I miss her.

Also family-related... I'm missing my niece growing up. I'm not a part of her life at all and that makes me sad.

I'm still considering studying Education Psychology in the city where my brother lives. It would be expensive and I'd need to rely on my dad's money, which I don't really want to do, but it would set me up nicely to either go into research or then apply to do a teaching Masters degree in Norway (plus I'd get to actually be a part of my niece's life for a bit).

I miss having a fucking oven oh my god I want to bake so fucking badly you have no idea.

At the moment I intend to see my contract out for at least the rest of this year. After that, I'm not 100%. I might continue another year and stay until my visa expires (depends on the situation with my nan I guess).

Another plan would be:

Go back to the UK either when my contract reaches its end at the end of January or when my visa expires at the start of January

Come March, apply to university in Norway

Move to Norway the following summer if I get accepted

I'm also considering transfering away from Yamagata if I decide to stay on for a third year, but I'm in two minds. As mentioned above, I want to continue working with these kids and see through what I've started. I also love Yamagata and my team are great and I'm finally making friends! But I also want to explore more of Japan. It's so expensive to travel here from Europe and I doubt I'd be coming back anytime soon, but it's difficult to get to different areas of Japan from Yamagata. If I were in, say, Osaka, it would be much easier for me to go to new places.

Other options:

Just stay in Yamagata and get my visa renewed and settle down properly

Go do TEFL in a different country that's slightly closer to home (maybe Spain or France)

So yeah, those are some thoughts I'm having. I don't really know what to do at the moment and most people just politely listen and then say "well, it's down to you really" and that doesn't help lmao. Thankfully I've got quite a while to decide anyway.

[cemeteryreviews]

Cemetery Reviews #10 - Gardens of the Memory

Why do I even review cemeteries? Do you know why? That's something I asked myself a lot today. See, of all the cities in the world without a metro, this is the biggest. 12 million people, and no metro, and sure, the saying goes, small town, big hell, but I say, big city with no trains means hell on earth. I'm gonna yap for a while but I promise I'm building something up with it.

After going to the more modest cemeteries in the South I said I would go to the North and check the ones at the edge of the city, they looked in the map like they had a lot more green on them, since I live in the South, I knew it would take me a while... but it wasn't just a time consuming venture, it was also a pain in my ass.

I get out of bed and I think... why do I review cemeteries? I fool around on bed from 8 to 9 am, then I decide I want to go, I get called to send some papers for a work transfer I have, I spend an hour on that, at 10 am leave and I wait on the bus stop, and I wait... and I wait but the bus doesn't arrive. It's not just that, my bus doesn't arrive, all the other routes that pass through that bus stop passed like 20 fucking times. I said, okay, you got to be kidding me, I check the app trying to find the bus, the app is a load of shit, it is stuck, it doesn't refresh positions, it's a mess. By 12 pm I said, fuck it, I'm gonna have lunch here or I will be hungry all the way, I eat, I leave, and then by 1 pm I go to the bus stop again. I end up taking the wrong bus, it was my mistake, the second time I looked at the app I picked the wrong place at the destination and of course, I got in just happy that I wouldn't have to wait for that god damn forsaken bus that never came. I got out of the bus a bit closer to the north, I then walk 15 minutes towards the highway and I wait for a new bus. Thankfully, this time the right bus arrives, and I get inside.

And I have to poo, really bad. So I hold myself for like an hour, but of course, I say, I can't hold it forever, I get out in a place I see that looks like a mall, but it's not a mall, it's some sort of commercial center and residential bullshit so I walk putting all the pressure I can on my butt cheeks and I walk up a coffee store, thankfully, they allowed me to use the bathroom first, there was no water in that toilet so you can bet I'm never stepping foot in that place. I buy something, I leave and I wait for the bus, then it's just waiting for me to arrive, the cemetery closes at 4 PM, it's 3:10 PM, I say, I won't be able to see shit, and I get sad.

The bus went up to the north, then more and more up to the north, the houses looked wealthier, the streets wider, the green zones spread more and more. The neighborhoods were so wealthy that there were kids leaving school at 3 PM and going home in a school bus, you know, American style. There were some communes at the east over the mountains, but most of the north is very wealthy, and very green. We passed by the north terminal, the north portal, until all traces of civilization disappeared little by little, until the only thing left was the long, long highway between the green fields that went towards the north of the country, and my hometown. You won't see any cities for a long while, so in practical terms, this is the end of the map for this city, and the furthest you can go with the city buses. I got out and I said, sure, this was shit, but now I just have to walk a bit, I get to the cemetery, and the whole street is blocked due to construction.

I think those white columns are part of the entrance, but it looked hard to enter and by that point it was almost 3:30 PM. I said, dude, this shit was not worth it, let's bail. I I left and I took the bus to the north portal. Since the city ends there, what those buses do is take the return point and go back through the opposite lane.

That cemetery hid itself so much of me that I don't think I want to ever go and review it, it's like it was mocking me, like it didn't want me. Well, if it doesn't want me there, so be it. I don't care about that one anymore. I asked myself, what the hell am I doing this shit for? Why? Like what is the point?

There is none, it's just bullshit, bullshit to get me out of bed, but when it is such a pain in the ass it just makes me say, this is not worth the money, or the time, I am getting older as I speak and wasting my days off on this is not worth the time, the city is not worth the time.

However, there was another cemetery at the other side of the highway, going back to the city already, and that is the one I reviewed today.

I got out, and I said, well I'm already here and this one closes at 5 PM, so might as well take a look, right?

This is another green cemetery, as in, it works almost as a park and all tombs are surrounded by lots and lots of grass. One thing I realized is how fortunate the Gardes of Apogee in the South is, it is not only full of green but is also in the middle on the city. Any other cemetery that wants to do the same has to go through this procedure, go way to the end of the earth so they can have enough green spaces. For that I feel the rating is going to suffer a bit, it is not the cemetery's fault, but well, what can you do.

This cemetery is probably a bit more recent and has this annoyingly modern aesthetic, it tries to look "chick" or something, and it adds lots of white, the chapel looks alright (thanks to the stained glass windows) but then you look at the other stuff and it doesn't look that good.

Don't you think this statue is annoyingly minamilistic? Like, I get the idea they are going for but reducing the parts of a symbol to their most basic and recognizable elements does not work here as much I think it could. I mean they just made the guy thinner and removed his cross, what do you want me to say?

There is a giant book as well here, I remember another giant book in the Gardens of Apogee Cemetery, this one has The Lord's Prayer in it.

Ironically it looks better from behind, since it has this cross and design shaped with stones, but most people will never see this part of the monument.

There are some columbariums like this in the cemetery. What do you think? Personally, while I feel the execution falls a bit short (something about creating these shapes with their own special compartments can be pretty hard I imagine) I do like the idea. They remind me a bit of honeycombs, perhaps also with a different color and texture they would look a lot more sublime.

There was also a bigger chapel further into the cemetery which I liked. This I think mixes well the classical elements with the more modern aesthetic, it's weird, sure, but that's because it is unique.

I walked a lot through the park, but naturally not as much as with the Gardens of Apogee, with my time being shorter. I feel that the terrain here is a lot more flat than the one of Apogee, the one of Apooge was a lot more hilly and that helped to create this sense of depth, once you enter, you get fully lost on it, you can't see the end and there are some huge huge trees. I feel the flat landscape hurts a bit the scene of scale in this place. Does that mean I like very green and hilly cemeteries the most? I don't know, but that's what I felt. There are also roads for the cars but while the Gardens of Apogee give you a big green area to lose yourself between the dead, the roads are always hugging each area every several meters, so you never feel truly lost, the tomb areas feel also like small areas closer to the road rather than being part of a big big park. Even then though, there were some pretty nice places like that three and its friend that fell into the ditch. The papyrus were also very pretty. There were also a lot of workers taking take of the place, I like seeing workers always maintain a cemetery, the only thing is that I when I pass by I feel like a creep since naturally there is no one I have to see in those places.

I read a review in Google Maps saying that they found the tomb of their mother broken because they refused to do more payments and blamed it on the whole place being just a business. It's a bit sad, isn't it? Remember when we used to think back in our little towns that we would have our own grave and that grave would be given to us forever until our name worn out? Not handled by a company, but the local church, no rentals, no small columbariums, in a way, it feels like being at the infancy of society. I know taking care of a cemetery takes money and effort, everything has a price, even after death, somehow.

One thing I don't like of green field cemeteries is how they don't give you a clear path to walk on, so you eventually end up stepping over the graves hidden in the grass. Only paths like this formed by cars of passing by helped me step on without guilt.

I walked a lot, and saw a lot, but to be honest with you I was feeling still hurt by all the time and money I wasted that I started to feel alone. I said to myself "why do I review cemeteries for? What is the point? They are just cemeteries, there is really nothing to review in them, you put the death people there, and that's it, what is all the fuzz about?" I felt very sad and silly. To go to the limits of the city and spent a whole day on this, what was the point for?

I was about to leave, but then I saw a weird structure at the very back of the place. It looked like some sort of chapel. "I said, hmm, another chapel, well, might as well check it out." The time for the cemetery to close was approaching, there was nobody there aside the workers, I had no one to look for, I was afraid, I said, what if I get scolded? What if I get banned? What if they yell at me and kick me out? I was going further and further inside the cemetery, as far as my feet could take me, but my steps weighted a ton and I was anxious.

I looked at it and I said, man, what a weird ass chapel. See the tips? They have several arches but they are not the same length, it makes the structures look... disheveled, in a way. But it was a curious place, it looked almost like the naked ruins of a castle. The place was almost deserted, only the noise of a small well broke the silence of the place. I saw a man walking on the second floor, I tried to find the entrance, but I didn't find it, and that's when I realized, it wasn't a chapel. It was the columbarium.

Dude, you have no idea how happy it made me. A castle! A castle of columbariums! What a wonderful and beautiful idea! So far, everything in my day had been pure shit, absolute pure shit, and I was a bit disappointed with the cemetery because for how far I had to go I wanted to see more of it, and I didn't find it, but when I reached the castle of columbariums, I felt so happy, so damn happy! I nearly cried! My eyes got watery but then I said, "no wait, this is stupid", and I didn't cry.

Okay so maybe I was still feeling a little self aware to let my emotions be, but I was really enchanted with the place. It made all the shit I went through today, worth it. The buses, the traffic, the poop, the closed cemetery, the sadness, everything was redeemed when I found the columbarium. Think about it, the columbariums are usually the weakest part of a cemetery, you know, just a blank slate wall that makes the graves there feel less gorgeous, but this little place, this tiny itsy bitsy cemetery with its weird ass aesthetic and stuff made of the columbarium the strongest thing of the whole place.

Should the water be green? Well no matter, I like when classy stuff blends with decadence, it gives the sense of ruins, of time, it gives weight to the place and tells you, keeping this thing up is hard work, its always just a partial success, but that's what it makes it beautiful. When I walked in I saw the maintenance worker dressed in gray I had seen in the second floor, I smiled at him and I said hi and he answered in a very warm and sweet voice, he was probably 50 or 60 and probably tired. I thought he was a like a prince, a prince for the castle of the dead. I loved him deeply, I think I will make a poem about him and the columbarium later.

When I left I was in much better mood, since it was starting to rain and the night would fall soon, I decided I would try to go home sooner rather than later. But still, to think that at the very end of the map was such an easter egg! A castle! A ruined castle for the dead! See those flower pots? They have names too, but I doubt they have bodies in them, would you like your ashes to serve as part of a flowerpot when you die? I think it would be pretty, although naturally I would like something with a bit more scale.

On my way back, I saw this monument, I like the idea of Jesus with a spear, it gives him some character. There was also this beautiful poem at its side.

"Life and Death"

Life and death.

Death and life.

Life is latent,

And death is so unknown.

Oh, how beautiful life is,

Yet how dark death appears.

Are they all the same? Are they not sisters?

Are they not equally intriguing and beautiful?

Is it not the same, yet different,

To say "life and death"

Or "death and life"?

Life is the vibrant, powerful stage.

Death is the end of the lived stage.

Is there nothing that asks for death?

Is there nothing that suddenly vanishes,

A supreme body that disappears,

That shows life releasing,

That fills nothingness, that leaves life?

This is what happens, this is what remains.

And we, it seems, go on binding ourselves,

Yet we do not know if life is secretly a part of death,

Or if death forms part of life.

They remain unexplored, incomprehensible,

And perhaps in this way they can better understand each other:

Life and death,

Death and Life.

To end the review, I also saw this beautiful house in ruins at the side of the cemetery. I don't know if they are trying to keep it or build around it, but when I saw it I was ecstatic. When I see something as old as that I feel like I made a Bluetooth connection with the past, lol. It's like... I managed to get some signal, a trace of the past, of what was real once upon a time and now gives me flashes of the people who were happy way before I existed, it grounds me and makes me feel aware of the pass of time. It is such an incredible feeling.

There were so very pretty commemorative plaques hidden between the leaves on the walls that separated the cemetery from the old house. Ones were already worn out and long so gone, as if already closing their eyes.

The north of the city is a lot colder, when I arrived I was starting to freeze, but when I left, I didn't feel any cold at all.

8/10

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 86

Matt: "Don't ask." Yes, probably best ...

Maps! Yay! I love maps! Oh! Czepeku! I love these guys! Nice! And now the costumes make sense. Matt: "What's happening?" Yeah ... we're with you. And now he won't say their name ... Marisha: "Say it, bitch!" LOL

A Luxon D20 with a LIQUID CORE?!!! OH MY GODS ... so cool ... O.O

Liam O'Brien delivered a truly BIZARRE Jester impression there ... cue OG turn from Laura to show us how it's really done ..

Oh yeah! Fearne's in another dimension ... so where is she?

Perception check? Nat20! Nice ... oh yes, US the portal still there? It is ... oh thank fuck ... in she goes ... and she's BACK!!!

Yeah, actually sleep sounds good. They really need it. Goodbye mist form, but still ... like they really are on the verge of exhaustion ...

BTW I am going quietly nuts over Marisha's look tonight ... it's genuinely adorable ... :3

Through the mouth? Is that an EXCUSE, Fearne? Are you being sneaky flirty?

Yes! Anchor a line with the rod. Good idea. It WOULD probably pay to check this out. Be a good retreat point if needed ...

Oh yeah, good point. Would that transfer thing be a potential beacon for Otohan?

So Imogen gets an extra Sorcery point? That is pretty cool ...

Ah yes, Chetney's tools. Affixing a piton for thd rope. Meanwhile Fearne takes the tethered Immovable Rod ... while still a leaf sheep sea slug? Not gonna work ... no, Orym takes it while she guides him through ...

Wow ... Liam STILL doesn't know zll his stats that well ... XD Messy ...

They're trying SO HARD to make Matt accidentally describe this as passing through a weird magic butthole ... XD

Travis: "Chetney's leaving to pursue his fortunes elsewhere."

Aha ... so they ARE on Exandria? Interesting ... but WHERE?

Turning into clouds while still in the water would probably be a bad idea ...

Discussing Fearne and Werewolf Chetney's "sexy time" ... yeah ...

On the shore of this strange lake ... ah yeah, Nature Check! Smart ... pine-trees ... higher altitude ... this is VERY NEW to them ... interesting ... are they on Tal'dorei, perhaps? Near Vasselheim, maybe? THAT would be interesting ...

Mist once more ... heading UP!!! So what do we see?

T-shirt shenanigans ... oh Samuel, you are playing with fire ... XD

A village! Nice ... heading down again ...

Street level! Here we go ... well into the evening ... the place seems to be abandoned ... strange ...

Dusty empty general store ... looks like it's been empty for a while ...

FCG suggests they're in an alternate dimension ... unfortunately much what I was considering ... not that I LIKE this idea any ...

Overgrown gardens ... yeah, another suspicious sign ... some of the buildings are collapsed ...

Ria'doin village ... Lake Umamu ...

It's somewhere in Marquet? Issylra, maybe? Hmmmm ...

Ashton checks out the most expensive house ... which seems to have been ransacked ... but a long time ago ...

Imogen picks up shoreline pebbles snd loose bits of wood from the town.

Grim Psychometry! Here we go ... no joy ... hmmm ...

Chetney joins Ashton, starts checking the house for hidden rooms, etc. Small compartment under the bed, but already emptied ... yup ...

Laudna finds mention of people disappearing ... a whole slew of families leaving ... no, DISAPPEARING ... rumor, conjecture ... then nothing? Weird ...

It's all very X-Files, really ...

FCG casts Speak With Animals on a local bird ... oh, he really does HATE birds, clearly ... talk about trauma ... XD

Matt Mercer ... master of creepy looks ... LOL

FCG has to mark off a Stress Point ...

People walk into the lake? Oh boy ... yeah, this place is CURSED!!! I fucking knew it!

Chetney DEFINITELY wants to sleep here now, just to see what happens ... yeah ...

Aha! Yes, is Imogen picking anything up with her telepathic abilities right now? Nothing ... hmmm ...

Deciding to sleep in the expensive place. It's serviceable fir the night, at least. Setting in ...

Oh dear ... worst time for intrusive thoughts ... XD

Examining spoils ... a Ring of Life Awareness ... whoops ... well THAT'S not a good thing at all ... does thr Ring have tracking? Crap ...

His new feat? Oh yeah, his deal with Nana Morri ... of course ... Master Craftsman! Ooooooòoooooh ... O.O

First watch, Fearne and Chetney ...

Nothing happens ...

Second, Orym and Imogen ...

Orym is attempting to communicate with Caleb Widogast ... oh fuck me it WORKS!!!

CALEB!!! THE DIRT WIZARD LIVES!!! I mean obviously WE know this already, but still ...

Imogen casts Sending to Caleb ... and it WORKS ... then tries to Send to Keyleth ... fuck, it worked AGAIN!!! Sweet!

Catamaran Reach in Issylra! Yup! They were right!

Okay, so she's gonna try snd meet up with them? That's smart ...

Awwwwwwww ... such a sweet moment for these two ... :3 Orym DESERVES a break, so he needs this.

Holy fuck, it's Jester! Oh my gods!

Yeah, she is as adorable as ever ... I love how she can just keep it up now with Unlimited Sendings ... XD

Orym tries to get through to Dorian ... gods I want this to work SO BADLY ...

No response, but he's sure he heard something OUTSIDE?!!! He thinks it might be Dorian ... oh fuck! Creepy horror movie vibes! DO NOT GO, ORYM!!!

No, Orym is just GOING TO THE DOOR ...

Laudna sends Pate to look for him ... literally CHUCKS HIM out the window ... oof ...

Yes, this is a super creepy situation and NOBODY should go ANYWHERE ... and now Ashton can hear something ...

Oh right, of course, clearly there is something IN THE LAKE that's trying to draw people in ... they need to IGNORE THIS FREAKY FEELING!!!

Hunter's Bane? Oh, smart ...

Chetney and FCG are going to investigate ... for fuck's sake ... and now more of them are going ...

Yeah, this is all going south SO FAST ...

Imogen casts Detect Thoughts ... oh shit there IS something IN the fucking lake! Great ...

Liam: "We are in Derry, Maine." Of fucking COURSE they are ...

Imogen tries to Command them all to return to the house ... it works, but not on Ashton ... CRAP!!!

Laudna sends Pate after him ...

And now the other two are going in again! Shit! And NOW Matt decides to call a fucking break? SERIOUSLY?!!!

Welcome back to SHEER FUCKING PANIC!!!

Imogen tries to hold onto Orym ... strength check? Somehow he STARTS TO BEAT HER in that, so they're now BOTH going in! Aaaaaaaah!!!

Fearne tries to Scorching Ray all of them ... but they're ALREADY underwater! Crap!

Laudna sticks her head UNDER THE WATERro try snd see boats? Hmmmm ... amazingly, there are FOUR sunken boats here! Wow ...

She PULLS ONE UP out if the water ... oh fuck she's BROUGHT IT TO FUCKING LIFE!!! And it can talk and crawl around ... bloody hell ... as is THE ROPE ATTACHED TO IT!!! She sends both to collect the others ...

FCG's going down to try and help ...

Weird underwater growth? Oh for FUCK'S SAKE it's some kind of twisted monster! Lovely!

Damn, it's COLD down here! And it's starting to have an effect on EVERYBODY down here now ...

Oh shit it's fucking HYPOTHERMIA!!! They are in DEEP SHIT right now!

Bones. Lots of bones. Yup, this is definitely NOT GOOD.

Mind Sliver? GO IMOGEN!!! 16 points of Psychic damage to this ... THING ...

Fearne bamfs out Mister ... who DOES NOT HAVE WATER BREATHING right now! Crap!

All but Ashton manage to snap out of the trance ... lovely. They are back in control but VERY MUCH lost in darkness and icy cold right now ...

Form of Dread! Undead pirate style! Sweet! And they DIVE!!! It's all gone very POTC with the crew of the Flying Dutchman ...

Dimension Door! Nice one Mister! FCG is now free ...

Laudna (pirate voice): "Arrrr! All aboard the Queen De Rolo!"

Imogen stand again, more psychic damage!

Blood Maladict! Chetney does some damage too ... it does not have blood, but he does hurt it. Now he's swimming for his life ...

Orym makes pushing attacks and succeeds ... he's got some "breathing" room ... and he sees the bones ... tries to grab a skull, but it manages to grab him again in the process! Crap ...

FCG grabs the boat's bough ... grabs his coin snd tries to Turn Undead ... BOOM!!! Unfortunately the creature manages to resist ... but LAUDNA IS EFFECTED TOO!!! Shit ... Nat19! Oh thank fuck ... she resists because "she's a dope underwater captain." XD

The rope grabs Chetney and pulls him up. Laudna: "Give yerself to the Kraken!" LOL ... He unleashes Turmoil and Blasts the beastie ... POW!!!

Marisha: "This is THE BEST SPELL and I'm so glad I took it!"

Now she's trying to frighten the thing with her Form of Dread. Travis: "You CAN intimidate this kelp!" Whoa, a fucken NAT1!!! Jeeze ...

This has become SO VERY SURREAL ...

Somehow BOATY SAVES HER LIFE ...

Shocking Grasp! Go Imogen! 12? Balls ...

Fearne tries to swim in to rescue Ashton ... that's a SHITE roll ... yeah, he is just TOTALLY obscured still ...

Orym breaks free, and now he can BARELY make Ashton out ... wait, HOW THE FUCK did he just move like that? He slashes through snd now Ashton's free ... but he just starts trying to claw his way back in again? Fuck ... Orym tries and fails to break him out again ...

Chetney swipes with Turmoil again ...

Fearne tries to snap Ashton out of it ... NO JOY, and it's BECAUSE OF THE HERO'S FEAST?!!!

FCG tries to flip the coin underwater ... and loses it! It sinks ... but then ACTIVATES!!! BOOM!! Somehow that manages to break Ashton out of the trance! Yes! He books it!

Laudna breeches the boat back to the surface!

Big boom! Everybody run! But YES!!! That's a good point! They need to stay and warn about the thing down below ...

Crap ... the bost and rope are NO LONGER alive ... they swim back to the shore ...

Well, at least they're all out again ...

Balls ... they can't send any more messages ... Chetney carves a warning on the dock. A very obscure warning ... hmmm ... oh, leave the skull for people to talk to?

Orym (spooky voice): "Dead gnomes make no toys!"

They're all so tired ... wait, they're going BACK IN?!!! Hmmm ...

They set up signs matking where yo go, then go back in ... the creature is not there at this time, so they can safely go back through thd portal ... back jn the cave, then ...

Laudna sets up for a watch ...

Orym wonders why Dorian didn't answer the stone ... oh no, don't do that to yourself, wee man.

Wow ... Laudna is having a weirdly profound existential conversation with Pate ... hmmm ...

Oh for fuck's ... DO NOT talk to Delilah, Laudna!

Disturbingly, the ruthless evil bitch is actually giving her some pretty good advice ... oh boy, and here comes the seduction, right on time ... back off, Delilah ...

Laudna: "Are you Pate?" Oh boy ... thankfully no ... oh for fuck's ... now she's SEEING HER ...

Thank the gods ... FINALLY a long rest ... morning comes ...

Oh fuck, greasy takeout sounds SO GOOD right now ... damn you, Ashton ...

Going up sounds like the smart move ... yes, as Orym's saying, "stay curious."

Leaving an arrow to follow ...

A Ring of Protection? Nice. The Tiny Tank (aka Orym) takes it ...

Laudna puts the Harness on and drains the other ring ... whoa ... she gets a permanent 2 extra HP! Sweet ...

Time to climb ...

Group Athletics Check ... great ... 2 Nat20s? Automatic success ... phew ...

FCG tries to Scry on Ira ... the connection fails ... interesting ... communications are once again buggered ... even more interesting ... seems like the Latticework is blocking the signal between worlds ...

Bane-worm? Crap ...

The tunnel just ENDS? Balls ... it's just a hard compacted collapse, no way through.

Oh yeah, can Ashton do something about this? Oh wow, he's doing it ... Ashton activates his Shard and goes all Dragonball Z again ...

Sweet, our boy is now a burrowing GOD ... that's VERY COOL ... he just powers his way STRAIGHT UP ... and surfaces headfirst into a massive dust storm ... he goes back down ... SUPERHERO LANDING!!!

Chetney ATTACKS ASHTON by chucking his chisel at him ... and HITS!!! Oof ... he just POPS IT BACK OUT and stabs it VERY DEEP INDEED into the wall ... that is VERY COOL ...

So they're going up? Okay ... he carves another diagonal tunnel for them up to the surface.

Still a storm up here, but lighter now ...

Scry balk is dark ... phew ...

Imogen tries to reach out to scan the area, Ruidusborn style ... now they have a path, but may also have broadcast their location ...

So goals ... find the Friends of the Volition ...

The Scroll? Ah crap ... read it! Put the protective magic up ... now they're theoretically undetectable ...

Imogen leaves a triggered message that can only activate if an ally passes by ... a Mind Egg? Hmmm ...

So now they're walking through the chappy dust and wind ... charming ...

A vibration in the air? Oh hell what's THIS SHIT?

EVERYTHING'S lighting up? Oh fuck ... IT'S A FLARE!!! FUCK!!!

Imogen and Fearne and now just PULSING OUT ... weird shit ...

It passes and Fearne's still glowing but Imogen's gone ... crap, she's HOVERING IN THE AIR and just SUPERCHARGED ... she snaps out of it and drifts down ...

They BOTH now have 15 temporary Hit Points? Awesome ...

Ashton is just CRUISING THROUGH THE GROUND ahead of them. Like a land shark ... O.O

Eventually he pops up and changes back ... and now he is A WRECK ... great ... TWO WHOLE POINTS OF EXHAUSTION?!!! Holy shit ...

FCG casts a 4th Level Greater Restoration to bring him back up to health again ...

Fearne turns into a direwolf and scouts on ahead.

A carved valley? Hmmm ... oh, an actual CITY ... that's Kreviris, then ...

And that's it for the night ...

Phew ... at least it's s chilled out end for once ...

[meili-sheep]

The harem based on how they’re able to wrangle Diluc’s kids?

Here is the thing. Wrangling Diluc Ragvindr's kids is a TASK. It's not something for the weak will. And even those with strong will struggle with it.

So let's start at Rank 10 -

It's Al Haitham. The only "kid" he's able to deal with is Nahida. And She's actually 500 years old. Kids are just little people who feel bigs thing and often have trouble with them. And Al Haitham is not the most empathic of people, so he really can't get the kids to listen to him. ESPECIALLY RAZOR.

Oh god, poor Razor. He and Al Haitham would have such a struggle, man.

Rank 9 -

It's Ayato. He's not a kid person. Like kids aren't known for their listening skills, and well, I feel he'd just generally get frustrated with kids. So rambunctious and chaotic that he wouldn't really know how to handle it besides tricking them, and I don't think he could really trick them because well. They are Diluc's kids and again Razor would be the big problem child in that anything Ayato does or says will go over his head and Razor's just gonna go straight to Diluc.

Ayato is only above Al Haitham because he'd learn just to ask Thoma for help.

Rank 8 -

Xiao's time to shine. He's not good with people who aren't Diluc. And he would try to wrangle the kids. Man, he would really try. But It would be a little too much. And in honestly, I think the kids would be pretty sympathetic toward him. More so than Ayato or Al Haitham. Because he's honestly like trying to copy Diluc's method of controlling the kids, but it doesn't work cause well, he's not Diluc.

Rank 7 -

Well. It's Kaveh. And solely because he's the kind of guy to try and buy affection so he would totally make himself go broke trying to win over Diluc's kid and spoiling the shit outta them, which in turn makes them harder to control

The man seals his own fate. Also Diona...

She would be a nightmare for him. Honestly, She'd be more of a nightmare then Razor. Like Razor is a nightmare unintentionally. But Diona? She's doing it on purpose. If you feel like your going insane? It's cause she wants you too.

Rank 6 -

Zhongli, look he's got his own grown kids. He doesn't know how to do young kids anymore. And he just wants to retire. So like he knows what to do but it would take him a while to get going on all of this and really get back into the grove of being a partner and taking care of kids.

Rank 5 -

Itto. So He is not really like parent material. And honestly, that's not what the kids want. He's a fun uncle! He plays with them and makes sure they are all home and safe at a good time!

Why is he so slow at 5, then? Well, he's been the one to get them in trouble to start.

More the once.

Rank 4 -

So Albedo is a great big brother. Which while able to transfer doesn't always. He's still great with most of the kids. He just... like Itto tends to get them in trouble. With his experiments.

Rank 3 -

So the sleeper of this list is Eula, and I think she's going to actually be really good with kids when pushed. She's very resistant at first but after she warms up a bit the mom instinct comes out. Especially if these are kids, Diluc care about. She's gonna go to hell and back for those kids.

She's definitely one of those parents though. "Razor got into a fight?" "Razor did you win?"

Rank 2 -

Now neither of these last 2 should shock anyone number 2 is Thoma. Look not much to say here. We all know he's a househusband. No one i arguing that point anymore. He's gonna love the kids, and they love him. And he is the emotionally stable parent. It's a win.

Rank 1 -

Now! Number one to no one's surprise, Childe! Look He's got at least one elder sibling it's implies he has more and he's got 3 younger ones. So not only does that make his experience high but??? He's just a good sibling. He's shown that when he's not on a mission he's constantly thinking about his family and sibling. And that's totally gonna translate to being able to round up Diluc's kids. He's going to be that good balance of being responsible and fun. And he's willing to do the extra miles just to make them a little happier.

He's a family-oriented man, and no one can tell me otherwise.

[pancake-breakfast]

Ok! Time to finish off the last third-ish of Road to El Dorado! This time, I'll keep it all in one post, ok? Ok.

(Here's part 1, btw)

Aaaand we're starting with THAT scene. Yeah, Chel's definitely not level with Tulio's face here.

Are you guys connecting? I mean, doesn't Tulio seem a bit cowardly for a god? And Miguel a bit too friendly? Something something that fancy thing you just said about humans. Also, oh, look. You can see his little I'm-a-Bad-Guy horns....

Speaking of bad guys, Mr. Not Governor Ratcliffe from Disney's Pocahontas, come back to Totally Not Be A Bad Guy, I'm sure.

Hey! The armadillo's* back! I wonder where he's been all this time.... *Yes, I realize I called it an aardvark in my last posts. Something something to err is human?

Actually, "Hey! Who did you say was the authority here? That's right. Me." is a pretty good technique for getting out of this stuff.

I'll be genuinely surprised if they score at all. It would truly take an act of god for them to win.

Oh. No. No no no. This is animal abuse! Also, you'd think none of these people had ever seen an armadillo before.

Wait, doesn't the losing team in this game get sacrificed or some such?

Yeah, there it is. Also, Horse for MVP.

I'm sure kicking out the one person who can do actual magic's gonna work out well.

Oh, hmm. Do gods bleed in this culture? For some reason, I'm thinking they do not.

Ah, yeah. There's the answer there.

I feel like this sidekick/assistant guy to Mr. Evil Magician isn't getting enough character development.

Miguel really seems to like hanging upside down. Maybe that's the only way he can get enough blood flow to his brain for it to kind of work a bit.

Good job, Mr. Chel-is-Definitely-Off-Limits

Hahahaha, Miguel really doesn't really want to leave.

Ohhhhhh, the chief's got them figured out. But I guess that always would have worked in his favor since that lines up better with not having the gods show up and usher in the Age of the Jaguar.

And now Miguel's found his Good Friend Tulio being Good Friends with Chel. You know, there's an easy way out of this now (provided Not-Ratcliffe doesn't mess it up, which he will). Miguel can just say he's transferring his godhood to Chel and then stay there with the people forever while the "happy couple" departs.

Genuinely impressed at that horse's ability to go down those steep-ass steps head-first. Pretty sure most horses would just die.

Gotta have the little umbrella.

Awww, he's gonna kill off my favorite underdeveloped henchmen, isn't he? Yep, there he goes. Freaking rude.

Horse for MVP. Again.

Oh, they're gonna throw this set of bad guys into Chekov's Whirlpool of Doom. Can't introduce a Whirlpool of Doom in Act 1 and not have someone not get shoved in it in Act 3. Or something.

Huh, for some reason, this particular version of their "we're not actually allies because one of us was lying to the other" seems to have more malice in it. I wonder whyever that could be....

Ah, they still pulled through at the end.

Aaaand there the bad guy set goes into Chekov's whirlpool.

Who would have guessed that would come out there??

Ah, the true gods of blood have arrived: the Spanish government.

Seems Miguel's still hurt. I get it, man. Your boy toy ran off with someone else. I'm sorry.

Womp womp. Time for Tulio to learn a lesson in broken trust. A hard lesson for a professional con man.

Oh, look at this. They've got a whole-ass love song where they try to con each other into thinking they don't love each other still.

LOL, horse licks. Get slobbered on, idiot.

Yeah, good fucking luck crossing the Atlantic in that. Especially given how heavy gold is.

Horse being MVP. AGAIN.

I like the part where they gold on the boat is just drawn as a single mass. That's all it's worth. Being a lump. Oh, EXCEPT WHEN IT'S A BUNCH OF RANDOM CGI. Ew, that CG did not age well.

Who knew Tulio had skills as a sailor?

And now everyone must do their best not to drown. I wish them luck. Hey, if Evil Sorcerer guy could do it, they can, too.

Oh, it didn't occur to me before, but they got Not-Ratcliffe a new horse.

LOL, the horse hiding his golden shoes. Gods, that's a terrible idea. Gold is a week-ass metal for horseshoes.

That's a tough horse, though. Able to carry three adults.

They are all going to die out there. The End.

Ok, that movie was fun. I admit, it's not going on my favorites list, but I definitely don't regret watching it.

I have a few additional thoughts, but in the interest of space, I'm moving them here. Lord knows I make enough long posts already.

[kennyomegasweave]

I started and got caught up on Playboyy. I'm having such a good time with most of this show. Is it the best? Absolutely not. Am I still having a good ass time? Hell yeah. I value entertainment over ~quality~ and I am Very Very Entertained. I'm having a blast with all but two of the couples and really only don't care about 1 dude fully. So that's exciting to me.

These were my thoughts while watching episodes 1-6.

I'm only 20 minutes into the show but why do they want Zouey to get laid so badly? The boy does not seem to be into it and it's really not a good look for them so far. Just let him jerk off. That's not a bad thing y'all.

Dude is Zouey jerking off in class? What is going on here. There's like only three people in this class??? Is this why his friends want him to get laid cause this is like. Bro you can't be so horny you're jerking off in your art class.

NOT GETTING A FOOD DELIVERY NOTIFICATION WHILE TRYING TO GET A NUT. Been there girl, been there. Oh this "pizza man" is fine too. Listen. I've personally never blown my pizza delivery man but, you know, I support this blond one in his journeys.

NOT FIRST TALKING TO HIS DAD WHILE HE'S WATCHING HIS OWN SEX TAPE WITH HIS HOOKUP RIGHT THERE. MY DUDE. AT LEAST MUTE THE VIDEO???

Why is this slightly villainous music playing over this young man's entrance? OH MY SHIT. He really just said "you wouldn't get me being sad about my dead mom cause you don't have one." Is he actually any of their friends cause that is FOUL to say to your friend. Oh well he's the Evil Twin of Nant. Alright. That makes sense. I'm here for that. Explains that foul ass sentence. lol

Oh did he just take one of his rings? Or was that his ring? I'm looking at EVERYONE with suspicion in this show right now. Except First. I don't know why but he doesn't give me shady at all. And possibly Zouey. His reaction to "Nant" was very weird but I appreciate him not being into being touched even though he's horny. Because same.

These Japanese porn voiceovers. Serving hentai realness. I think I can vibe with this. Like it's very much a mood. I'm not sure what mood, but it's a mood.

OH MY GOD. SEE ALL MEN DO IS LIE. I knew Soong stole that ring! And now Zouey's hookup is like "I just wanna fuck a virgin." Oh I hope all these men get dick rot.

-

WIT. I don't know what his name is here but he was Wit on The Sign so it's good to see him! He's cute.

"They didn't build this body to fuck granddads and sluts." That was the greatest line I've ever heard. I want that on my tombstone.

Nont is bombing at this with Zouey and First. Babe you're gonna have to tell them who you are. Cause it's been two days and it's not working. You're not nailing Nant at all and I don't even know Nant.

Zouey it's RICH of you, wealthy even, to tell First he can't have a relationship if it started out with sex. Mr "if sex and love go hand in hand, I'm willing to try." When both of y'all are getting played. The call is coming from inside the house.

Not First fucking Soong on the railing on the stairwell in his daddy's house. My god. We do so love a baby slut.

So does Soong just wanna steal? Cause he's like I'm scamming a rich kid but baby he wants to be your sugar daddy. Don't fuck up that with stealing when he's freely offering it??? That's just dumb.

Is this man serious? After two weeks he's like "first I just wanted his virginity but now I'm starting to like him." ALL MEN DO IS PLAY GAMES.

Yes at the body painting! Giving me J'ai Tue Ma Mère realness except they're not fucking in this scene, but still giving me that same vibe.

Did Jump really get manhandled by Porsche one time and now he's just jerking off at work moaning his name? Baby.

Nont is such a bitch. "This guy looks poor, how could he transfer money to Nant?" I think I love him.

Not Mirror!Nant in Nont's head being like "just pretend to be me, you'll grow to like BDSM too." SIR. But then not two seconds later he's getting spanked and is like "oh okay, you do like this." I guess Mirror!Nant in Nont's head knew him after all.

Not this man just laying down on the bedroom floor, hardwood at that, for the aesthetics of it all. I already love Nont. So much.

Porsche is so so aggressive but you know what? It seems like Jump likes it so I mean? If he likes it, I love it.

First's dad is a doctor and he was roleplaying as a doctor? Oh. That's like several layers of shit that maybe he should go to therapy for. My beautiful little baby.

WHAT. DID MY BABY JUST GET KIDNAPPED BY SOONG.

-

I should have known these freaks (affectionate) would be into CNC. I love it for them.

Soong really is out here resisting being a sugar baby. First wants to give you things, but you're stealing, he wants to extort his dad for money, but you said no. Babe. Babes.

Oh is this dude smelling underwear too? Cause that's what Captain's into right? Well there's a lid for every pot!

Okay. So. I like Soong and First, and the actor playing Soong is really hot but he's either not a good actor or he's really not into First and I don't know which it is. Cause these expressions he has when they're banging aren't giving into it. Or well that's why. He's not into it. Baby is tired from working and then First wants to bone and just wants to apparently chill with First. Aww.

Why did Soong just see Nant??? What the fuck is going on.

Listen. I like Zouey and I guess Nont could be nicer, but if someone doesn't want to talk and you keep pushing and physically get in their space, you earned that hit. Read the room baby.

Okay Zouey you're just an asshole. "I won't say I told you so but I did." Meanwhile your man is also playing you and a sex worker, so most likely hooking up with other dudes too.

I knew Keen and Captain were fucking before that locker room scene! You can't drop a line about a dude liking to smell underwear than have another dude smell the first dude's underwear he took from his locker and not had them banging before. And that was after being like "fill this shot glass with cum" and being like DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. And both those things were in front of people. Keen please.

Is Zouey gonna safe word out? Cause he said stop but didn't safe word. Teena just upset me there. "Just the tip" and "if we're gonna date we have to have sex." He has a point about Zouey not using the safe word, but dude it's his very first time ever. He's not gonna remember safe words. Zouey, I love you and he's right. Teena said they didn't need to have sex to be a couple but now he's like we can't be a couple if we're not having sex. And I get them both here cause Teena clearly likes sex and Zouey clearly doesn't want to have it yet, so that's a big issue in a relationship.

Oh damn. First, you're my baby, but it wasn’t nice to call Soong a leech because, quite frankly, with the exception of stealing your ring, he's not leeching off you. OMG DID HE JUST COME HOME AND THINK FIRST WAS STILL GONNA BE THERE DID HE REALLY THINK THEY JUST HAD A COUPLE FIGHT AND WOULD MAKE UP. Oh my GOD.

OH MY GOD. Captain showed the team the tape with Keen. What a complete asshole move. But also. Babe. Did you really think showing them a clip of Keen fucking a dude, you being the dude, would just make them think it was only him who was gay? You dumb bitch. lol

They DO NOT actually believe Zouey is a girl cause he has a wig on? I cannot. Also. Captain. You have the AUDACITY to text Keen after the stunt you pulled??? If men have nothing, they'll still have the audacity. And Puen I mean, thanks for riding in for Captain's imaginary girlfriend, we love a man who respects women, but you didn't give a shit when he recorded Keen and showed everyone.

Keen and Soong do not want to be jerking each other off. Neither of these men are touching the dicks they actually want to be touching.

"Don't fall in love with a client. But I don't know if I think of him as a client." And then there's Teena just looking devastated too. Both of you went and caught feelings for your marks.

Side note. I'm crying at them working out in their underwear.

Oh my gosh. Soong's face when First texted him. The man is down bad. OH MY GOD. Can this tattooed man shut the fuck up. He doesn't even know this situation. My god. How can you see, someone you call, a friend's face when he got a text from a boy and say all that shit. I don't care how nice your titties are. Just cause you're a bitter jaded hag doesn't mean everyone needs to be.

And now First is crying on Soong's chest and Soong is trying hard not to cry himself and everything is dicks. Hope you're proud of yourself TATTOOED MAN.

BEAT HIS ASS ZOUEY. BEAT. BOTH. OF. THEIR. ASSES. I wish we had seen the fight. Because I personally needed to see Nont get punched in the face. I mean, technically he's just trying to see what happened to his brother. But he still was macking on Zouey's kinda man and like nah. We don't do that. I needed to see that punch.

Captain. You don't need to be here. With your trifling ass selling people's sex tapes and shit. lol

Oh yay. I'm glad Porsche and Jump are still here being nasty. I missed them.

-

I mean, okay. Like. None of what Nant went through is the friends fault though? Asking your friends for 100k is A LOT. Like ethically Captain selling his videos was shitty, but Nant didn't have to make them. And I don't even register Porsche threatening to kick him out for banging his brother cause you don't bang your homie's brother. Like. That's bro code!

And I won't even touch the "they got him addicted to drugs" cause no. No one can do that. You can give people free drugs but they're the ones who initially decided to take them, for whatever reason. And I'm an addict so I'm not judging or anything. Just saying.

Captain is just a whole mess. "Have you never done anything illegal?" Baby most people are not out here committing crimes. lol

I'm sorry it takes me out how so many of these shows ask questions like "are you mixed" and shit. Like. Okay. Now we're getting into some complex ethnic situations I don't know about in countries I’m not from but it just always makes me pause.

LEAVE MY MAN ALONE. He is not responsible for Nant using drugs, Nont. Nant took them himself. You need to accept that. Also, the person in the dog mask was shirtless, right? Can't First tell that wasn't Soong in the video cause his tattoo wasn't there.

Soong wanting to kill Nant for taking all his drugs is the most addict ass behavior ever and I'm sad but here for it cause that rarely gets portrayed. Because yeah, it do be that serious when someone blows your stash.

Nont's trying to find his brother, with the others offering suggestions of various levels of helpful, and First is just crying over Soong. I get it though. I'd cry over that man too.

I appreciate Jump weighing the options of Porsche sending him to jail or continuing to only fuck Porsche and going "fuck it, I'll risk jail." You really bobbled that one Porsche cause he seemed into it at first.

Okay I didn't really care about Nuth and Phop, but with one sex scene and the scene after, they got me. Yes that necklace is Nant's and Nuth probably killed him, but he could have given it to Phop and possibly set him up to be framed and he was like NO instead. So I do think he has feelings for Phop. I just don't think that's gonna go well for Phop in the end.

-

NOT FIGGING GETTING MENTIONED.

What is the status of Captain and Keen's relationship? I don't understand it. It makes no sense. Compels me though.

Like I'm sorry I just don't care about Aob and his storyline. Maybe I will, but so far as he has going for him are his tattoos and dope ass titties and you know what? I have those too so those just aren't enough for me. 💁‍♀️💁‍♀️💁‍♀️

I also still don't care about Prom and Nont. Like. I love Nont and I love him trying to find his brother, but I just don't think everyone needs to be bae'd up in this show. There's too many cooks in the kitchen okay. There's too many carrots in this stew!

Not First brandishing a knife at all the couples and Soong just walking in like babe put that knife down, you're embarrassing yourself.

Speaking of embarrassing yourself, Keen just embarrassed his whole lineage with that question fully targeted at Captain. I love him.

Nont! You went right to asking about fucking in masks. NOT PROM JUST LOOKING RIGHT AT JUMP FOR THAT ANSWER. See I don't trust Prom and that is why I do not vibe with him and Nont. I don't think he had anything to do with Nant’s disappearance, but I still don't trust him.

Keen is down so bad for Captain and it's very embarrassing. Like. My dude. He doesn't seem to want to claim you. You might just need to let him go baby. It’ll either get you claimed like you want or at least make you free to start the healing process and moving on.

This crack ass idea of playing drinking games to do their investigatory journalism. I cannot.

Why do they keep having Soong and First speaking in English? I love them flexing those bilingual skills but is there a backstory to this? Or are they just like "fuck it, we have two bilingual actors, let's do it."

Aww they're just talking about First. Soong really is into him. It's been six episodes and I'm so messed up over them. 😭😭😭

I mean...it's not gaslighting? Soong has long since stopped thinking of First as a mark. It's not his fault Aob ran his fucking mouth about shit he didn't know anything about.

THANK YOU SOONG for telling Zouey Teena only wanted him cause he was a virgin. Zouey's out here throwing a lot of stones and talking shit like his man also wasn't being shady as hell. I don't think that's gonna go anywhere, but I'm glad it got brought up.

I just realized that they're playing 7 Minutes In Heaven with Porsche and Prom and like, they're brothers? And aren't they the last two to be picked? That’s gonna be awkward. Plus it's not like Porsche can fuck answers out of Prom. Cause that's his brother.

I appreciate that Captain was the one they picked to get the answers out of Keen cause it could have been Nont. But I like to believe that wasn't even considered cause that’s Captain’s man even if he won't fully claim him.

Oh so wait Porsche and Prom aren't actual brothers? They're just under the same sugar daddy? But Prom isn't even fucking their sugar daddy? And is only protected cause he's Porsche's brother? But they're not actual brothers? Then what kind of brothers are they? Just what the fuck is going on here. I am so confused by these two and their relationship. But I am intrigued.

...so Nuth just killed Phop? Oh, no, he didn't. Sis is just CRAZY CRAZY. Oh so he did kill Nant? But he doesn't want to actually kill Phop? He chose to jerk off with a camboy instead of killing Phop. That's gotta count for something? It's progress!

NUTH. Your account is literally your name. Babes. Even if you didn't kill his twin brother, your username is your name. I would say he's not the smartest but he's also just crazy so that probably factors into it. He'e struggling with his grasp on reality right now so that probably explains so much.

Oh Phop. Baby. You gotta get out of there. Phop. He's killed at least one person, most likely. Phop. He fantasized about killing you. Phop. He just jerked off with the twin of the brother he probably killed and put his apartment number in the frame. PHOP.

See. They actually have the best vibes to their sex scenes to me and I just don't see this ending well. At all. And I'm already sad.