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airbendertendou · 1 year ago

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I'M IN RUINS! ♡ mitsuya takashi

synopsis : maybe he really is just that nice to everyone. | inspired by the cdrama hidden love

song inspo ; going dumb by stray kids, alesso, corsak

cw : baji!reader ; reader has their period, but no pronouns ; baji is referred to as your brother, but looks aren't stated ; more of a college-ish au ; kazutora favortism briefly got the best of me

if you have a blank blog [no bio, no user, no header or profile pic, nothing reblogged, etc] do not interact with my content. you will be blocked.

It's so unfair, you think. Being so close to him, yet not allowing to linger — it's disheartening. You ache ; suffer and beg and cry, thinking of your brother's friend.

Baji sighs as you frown at him. "Do you really need to go?"

"Why am I not allowed to?" You reply. You'd put on your cutest outfit and your favorite shoes. After hearing Mitsuya was tagging along to this little get together, how could you not? "I'm hungry and you're going to eat."

"You never want to go," your brother argues. You cross your arms and tilt your head, raising your eyebrows to look stern. It's the way your mom looks at him ; the way she gets him to listen. Keisuke clicks his tongue, "whatever. Come on, then."

——♡——

By the time Chifuyu pulls up to the meeting area, your stomach is aching. You shuffle where you stand, sending a meek smile to Draken when he looks your way. Kazutora is distracting your brother, giggling together as you wait for the last guest to arrive.

A rumble hits the wind, covering the chattering of the other guys and numerous shoppers. Lilac hair shines in the light and you hold your breath — he's here.

"Boys," Mitsuya grins as he parks his bike. His eyes slide to you, smile growing gentle, less teasing. “Hey, trouble. Make a last minute decision to come?"

You nod silently, holding your stomach and trying to hide your grimace. Mitsuya tilts his head curiously, but gets taken into a conversation with Draken. You tug on the end of Baji's hair, "I'm going to the bathroom really quick."

A chest is pressed to your back quicker than you can think. A hand — gentle and firm simultaneously — leads you to the left. Mitsuya clears his throat as you scowl at him. "I'll show you where the bathroom is."

You want to cry. You're absolutely mortified at what you discover. Your pee is red — the reason behind your stomach pain is clear. Your favorite bottoms are stained and you're unable to wear them now. Having your period is natural, nothing to be ashamed about.

But, Mitsuya noticed. He shielded your backside so that no one else would see the splash of blood.

Leaning against the stall's wall, you sniffle as tears drip down your nose. You'd texted Draken about your current problem — Keisuke had broken his phone just yesterday. The blond was your only hope at this point ; you hoped he'd read your text soon.

"[Name]," a knock to the bathroom door startles you. "Here. I'll wait for you, okay?"

Humiliation — Mitsuya had taken it upon himself to get you supplies. Taking in a stuttered breath, you fought to make your sobs unknown. You dab your face with toilet paper lightly before opening the door. Quickly, you snatch the bag you see and ignore the one standing in the doorway.

He'd gotten you a new outfit, too. The same color as your previous one, so that no one else would notice what happened. Your tears fell again as you situated yourself.

Once out of the bathroom, you sniff and avoid Mitsuya's gaze. Draken is leaning against the wall across from you, looking over you quickly as you walked to him. You brush your bottoms lightly, head to the floor as you stand in silence.

"No big deal," Draken reassures you. He pats the top of your head with a grin, "let me know if you want to go home, okay?"

Your nod is stopped by an arm wrapping aound your shoulders. Mitsuya squeezes you close to him, trapping you in the smell of his cologne. "S'all good, trouble. Tell us if you feel unwell."

The light catches through a window, shining on Mitsuya like a hidden halo. His eyes light up, his eyelashes curving against his cheek as he smiles. Mitsuya's nose scrunches as laughs at something Draken says. Peeking at you with his peripheral vision, he tilts his head.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You’re so nice to me.” It's said before you can even think. Because he is nice to you — kind, welcoming and warm. Mitsuya squeezes you a bit closer before letting go of you completely. Chifuyu waves your way excitedly. Your small, "thank you," is covered by the noise of the restaraunt.

——♡——

Mitsuya had left the table not long ago. Keisuke shoves your shoulder, causing you to bump into Kazutora. The dual-haired boy gasps dramatically before shoving into your right shoulder, bumping you back into your brother.

Your giggles are drowned out by the sight of Draken shaking his head. Chifuyu speaks through his own laughter, "where's Mitsuya?"

"Flirting," Draken says with a roll of his eyes. Your smile fades, falling from your face slowly at the words. Draken lets out a loud sigh, "can't take him anywhere."

Baji grumbles into your ear, "I'll say."

Kazutora snorts, covering his mischivious grin with his hand. He lays his head on your shoulder, "oh, whatever shall we do with such a pretty boy?"

Your grin inflates again at Kazutora's casual teasing. You ruffle his hair, scrunching your nose as he scowls playfully at you. "You're a pretty boy, too, you know."

Kazutora's eyes widen, his cheeks pinkening at your words as he sits up straight. Your eyes slide across the table. "So is Chifuyu, honestly." You look to your brother and grimace, "don't know what happened to you."

Baji clicks his tongue before shoving you again. Kazutora catches you in a backwards hug, his forearm settling across your collarbones. "Be nice to [name], Baji!"

"Jus' cause you were called pretty..." your brother grumbles to himself.

The chair across from you is pulled out, a loud screech hitting the area you're in. Mitsuya plops down with a stone-faced expression, his eyes focused solely on you. "Enjoying ourselves, are we?"

"Like you can talk," Draken teases. The tall blond flutters his eyelashes and clasps his hands together. "Oh, it's you! From class! The fashion designer!"

"Can't talk to my classmates now?"

Chifuyu snickers, kicking your foot under the table as he does. You shake your head, sinking your chin below Kazutora's arm to hide your grin. Mitsuya eyes your position idly before tilting his head, "you both look comfy."

Kazutora pulls you closer, "[Name] thinks I'm pretty."

"I said Chifuyu was, too!"

The dual-haired boy hums into your ear. "But, you thought of me first."

"As fun as this is," Draken looks up from his phone. He sighs before pocketing the device. "Mikey is calling for us. Want me to take you home, [name]?"

"I'll do it," Mitsuya interrupts. He lets out a sigh, gaze drifting from you and laying on the table. "I'm going to check on my sisters, anyways."

You're waving to your friends as Mitsuya leans against his bike. You can feel him watching you, but you ignore his eyes to grin gleefully at Kazutora.

"He your recent crush?"

"What?" You blink, turning to face the lilac-haired boy. Mitsuya shrugs, making no move to leave as he gazes at you. "Kazu? He's not my crush, why?"

"But, you do have one," he steps closer to you. "A crush."

Gulping, you move away from him and to the back of the bike. "Maybe."

Mitsuya hums, "your brother know?"

"Why would I tell Keisuke about a crush?" You lean beside him now, frowning to the ground. Kicking at the sidewalk with your foot, you scrunch your nose. "He's horrible at keeping secrets."

He nods and you're hyperaware of the way his arm brushes against yours. It's like he's doing it on purpose — moving closer to you. "I'm not. You can tell me who it is."

"No thanks!"

"Why not?"

You grow silent, even as Mitsuya gets closer. His arm is behind your back at this point, his hand sitting on the seat of his bike. "You don't need to know."

"I want to."

"Do you have a crush on anyone?" As he doesn't answer, you finally look his way. Soft, dreamy eyes are looking at you. His gaze feels heavy ; heated as he stares your way. "Mitsuya?"

He blinks and looks away, "maybe."

"Would you tell me who it is?"

"Well, that's not fair," he leans closer, his lips brush against your ear, "is it, [name]?"

You freeze, eyes widening as Mitsuya tilts his head at you curiously. Staring at the ground, you think about it for a second. You think maybe I should tell him ; maybe it's time. Then your mind flashes back to before — to when Draken said he was flirting.

"Oh, is it someone from your class? The one Ken was talking about?"

Mitsuya doesn't answer — that means yes, you think. Downhearted, you frown and scoot away from him, leaving room to breathe. He doesn't allow that, though, scooting until your arms are pressed together once again.

"It's a friend," Mitsuya speaks up. He leans more to the left, his chin almost resting on your right shoulder. "A close friend."

You gasp dramatically, hoping to interrupt the intense atmosphere. "It's Chifuyu, isn't it? Knew it — he's irresistible."

Mitsuya snorts, rolling his eyes. You smile at the sound, oblivious to the way he gazes at you. He bites his lip, hesitant, but nudges the tip of his shoe against yours anyways. You meet his gaze — his eyes flicker from yours briefly before he smiles tenderly. "I'll tell you who it is. Eventually."

You trust he'll keep his word.

——♡—— idk abt a part two for this one... tbh i like how it ends. if youd like to b tagged / untagged in any tokyo revengers content, let me know! ♡

🍓FOREVER TAGS : @straysugzhpe ♥︎ @star2fishmeg ♥︎

🍓 TOKYOREV TAGLIST : @thatpoindexterpixy

airbendertendou © do not copy, plagiarize, repost, or translate my content on any platform. if you see my content under any other name than my own, let me know. i only have this tumblr and an ao3 account under the same name.

#mitsuya x reader #mitsuya takashi x reader #mitsuya imagines #mitsuya x you #mitsuya x y/n #mitsuya fluff #mitsuya headcanons #tr mitsuya #tokyo revengers mitsuya #mitsuya takashi #tokyo rev x reader #tokyo rev hcs #tokyo rev headcanons #tokyo rev x you #tokyo rev fluff #tokyo rev x y/n #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers imagines #tokyo revengers fluff

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gluion · 8 months ago

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serene (it’s what i hope for me) ➵ taesan

taesan (han dongmin) x reader

you should’ve known that taesan wouldn’t be the one.

genre/warnings ➵ angst, exes au, gender neutral reader, lowercase intended, shift between past and present to represent waves (hence the italics), the chilling realization of your suspicions always being right

word count ➵ 845 words

playlist ➵ california and me by laufey // you missed my heart by phoebe bridgers // oceans & engines by niki

a/n ➵ wrote this way back for eric, reread this drabble and rewatched niki's oceans & engines, and now i'm sobbing on the floor. mainly inspired by “california and me�� by laufey. please listen to it! it genuinely resembles the feeling of ocean waves, hence the constant shift between past and present :3 and no, the ocean waves pics have no relation to this fic i just love ghibli aesthetics for the banner. i hope you all like this drabble! don’t forget to reblog and leave feedback!

it’s not summer where you are, but you stand where the season lives; sand in between toes, sea meets the shore. you bask in the sunlight as you look at the expanse of blue while the breeze comes and goes.

it’s serene here, beautiful—but it’s lonely; not a single sight of another person here to appreciate where summer continues to live amidst all seasons.

“i’m sorry.” those are the words that first leave taesan’s mouth once you two arrive at the han river, the first words to confirm your suspicions of tonight.

you hold your breath. “w—what?”

“i know, i—”

“did i do something wrong?” your glossy eyes shine like stars under the moonlight; you almost hope they’re enough for taesan to take those words back.

“no, no!” he attempts to reassure you but they’re meaningless after what he told you. “it’s not your fault. nothing is your fault.”

seagulls flap their wings, croaking out sounds of their whereabouts, finding their flock they may have been separated from. as you hear a similar sound in the distance, you watch the flock rush off.

the ocean runs to kiss the land every time it has to go, regardless of how long the two are kept away from each other. the deep blue rushes to bathe the pale cream, reassuring they will always return.

and while the beach is heaven on earth, you grow bitter. surrounded by instances of one coming back—choosing to reunite with the other—you wonder if that’ll ever happen to you.

“i—i could call you every night, or morning! maybe i can—”

“y/n, no,” he cuts you off. “we talked about this before, remember? we can’t do long distance, we’ve always hated it.”

your lips tremble. “you don’t even want to try?”

silence settles between you two.

“i would try to make it work for us, but you wouldn’t?”

a sigh leaves him. his hand reaches to rub his temple. “but it wouldn’t be fair to us.”

your phone rings. you look at it to see your best friend calling, so you answer it, putting it against your ear.

“y/n, i have to tell you something.”

a chuckle leaves you. “i know.”

“huh? but how? he only posted that picture an hour ago,” sungho points out. “do you still follow his instagram?”

you only hum in disagreement.

“did you check his profile again?”

as you look down at your feet that’s consumed by the sand, a sigh leaves you.

“i thought we agreed to not look at his socials anymore! do we need to talk—”

“no, sungho,” you cut him off. “i didn’t look at any of his accounts.”

“then how do you know? you knew exactly what i was referring to. how?”

you close your eyes, letting the heat of the sun and the coolness of the breeze consume you whole. “i just know.”

you look away from taesan, allowing your eyes to take in the sight of the river stream continuously flow as it reflects the luminescence of korea—city lights and stars all together.

such a beautiful sight but such a shame that it’s been soiled by his words.

“you’re right,” you find yourself saying. “we’ve talked about it before, we could never survive in a long distance relationship.”

you look back at taesan. his go-to smile and the sparks in his eyes—all vanished in one night.

“i just wish we could.”

“i know. i do, too.”

your eyes peel open, greeted by the sight of the serene once more. you wish it could stay like this—tranquil, lasting.

“i hope you’re okay,” sungho says on the other line. “i’m sorry that this is happening.”

you bite the inside of your cheek. “it’s okay, i’ll be okay.” it sounds convincing to you but not to your best friend. “i’ll call you later, okay?”

he hums for a moment. “okay, i’m here for you.”

you drop the call. you stare at your home screen for a moment until you decide to open up instagram.

you shouldn’t be doing this, especially after sungho’s reminder, but your best friend's words have cracked the dam that held the water from pouring out.

you type his user like a password, discreetly, one you still know by heart.

in a matter of seconds, you see his profile pop up as a top suggestion. your thumb hovers over it, unsure if you should proceed or save yourself from reality. but you remember that it won’t change anything—nothing will change if you decide to look or not.

so you click on his profile, and your eyes land on the most recent post. from the preview in his profile grid, you already know that you were right. a bitter smile settles on your lips.

you shut your phone close and shove it into your pocket. your eyes land back to the ocean, glossy once more like that one night. it’s still a beautiful sight, but it’s a shame that it’s been soiled by one post.

in the same way the waves come and go, he always goes back to her.

taglist ➵ @onedoornet @kflixnet

#works of moni #onedoornet #kflixnet #k-labels #taesan #boynextdoor #han dongmin #boynextdoor imagines #boynextdoor angst #boynextdoor x reader #taesan x reader #taesan angst #taesan boynextdoor

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lilythelitten · 1 month ago

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“Lily!” I hear you all gasp in shock. “You changed your PFP!”

Indeed I did, and here is the full art! Which I had to shrink slightly to make it look good in my profiles :P

Artist commentary below the cut:

Those of you who have read The Case of 100% Normal Feelings (which is my fic with the most hits—thank you, everybody!) will know I HC Irratino as needing glasses. That is pure headcanon, and also pure projection, on the part of me, who both has curly hair and is nearsighted in real life. I also HC he normally wears contacts, but for this art, I gave him glasses because…I could XD The ponytail was done for similar reasons. It’s kind of incredible how just giving him glasses and a ponytail makes Irratino look like a totally different person!

(By the way—if you see any mention of Irratino wearing glasses in other fanfics? That’s not the fandom sharing a single brain cell. That came from me. That is them taking inspiration from me. I’m so proud *sheds tear*)

I’m still not sure about this one, frankly. I feel like the head��s too big for the body (and that the proportions feel off in general), and the hand was an absolute pain. Partway through the sketch, I wanted to scrap the whole thing and start over ^^; But hey, it’s done, and I’m proud enough of it to make it my new profile pic, at least XD (I also said I wasn’t going to draw the ears next time so I wouldn’t have to draw stars, and then I drew him in a ponytail and forced myself to draw the star. I did that to myself. I am not ashamed to admit I used the symmetry ruler to make it look semi-decent :P)

I think if I had to say, my favorite thing about this drawing are the glasses. They came out beautiful, if I do say so myself 😌 Though drawing the folds in his shawl was also fun. As was getting to glitter up his hair tie ^^ Anyway, that’s all from me, maybe one day I’ll reach the hallowed ranks of “likes looking at her own art” XD

#art #my art #fanart #murdle #inspector irratino #also good god is ao3 picky with file sizes #i had to shrink this thing like woah and it STILL looks blurry #everywhere else cooperates ao3 why can’t you :V #fun fact! i originally had his other arm at his side #i then changed it so i didn’t have to draw the other hand #artist things

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theroseiswithoutawherefor · 1 year ago

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Well, first of all, I have to thank @yridenergyridenergy for selling me the ticket! It was literally the best experience I had throughout the year; I really, really, sincerely appreciate it.

As promised, this is my repo of the gig in Wakayama. To be honest, I’m really a bad recorder as I can only recall the sensation or vibe in general and forget the details every time. Am I the only one?? Anyway, I guess my drawings may not be precise at all and it would be more like a summary of the year.

And this repo will be focusing on Kaoru, Toshiya and Kyo. I’m sorry but I stood on the left in both times.

Kaoru

It’s so strange that I can easily feel my love for him grows with time and what a coincidence! I visited them twice this year and I was right in front of him every time. I always assumed that I would be in front of Toshiya when I checked the hall map in December, but no! It was Kaoru again! It kinda shocked me the time I located my seat and noticed his microphone stand was there, just about 2 meters away.

I think probably it has been known by all of you, the show started with a semi-transparent screen showing some AI-generated footage(sorry, I hate this part). It covered most of the setting but just revealed some shadows. I could only see Kaoru, his side profile, priest-alike gown and silver hair. He looked so focused and indifferent and so good-looking…my hands are still sweating as I recall it now.

That was my first time listening to Rinkaku on-site. I got caught up in emotion when you could easily compare themselves in reality and their sketches in the video. You could see how much they have changed and it also just reminded me a lot of moments, staying at home and staring them on the screen. The real vs the virtual.

Also, at the beginning from the distance, I could only see some sort of marks on his chin that looked pretty much like piercings? It turned out to be his makeup; so brilliant.

Kyo

I didn’t see Kyo that much this time, but I feel he is that kind of vocal that you would fall in love with once you’ve actually seen him in the venue. He looked so nostalgic to me this time, maybe bc of the ghost face makeup or the fact that I have seen him too much this year. I also went to HK for sukekiyo this year.

The gig of sukekiyo was more emotional, floating and spacey (and less aggressive, obviously). Kyo’s dedication was so contagious. Although he looked a little bit nervous at the beginning of the Day1, forgetting the lyrics now and then lol.

It is interesting to see the similarities and differences between Diru and Sukekiyo, like looking at different reflections of the same mirror.

Btw probably he is the most inspiring Diru member to me I guess. Idk why drawing kyo always begins with a pretty satisfying draft then it becomes a big challenge to my expertise and patience ahhhh. But yeah, I can improve a lot after finishing it. So, kyo, thx? lol

Toshiya

I’m not quite a fan of his white outfit that day(the one worn in the pic of their tweet on 16th Dec). Actually I even failed to recognize him the first, waistcoat and palazzo trouser are ok but definitely not the most stunning look of him. It seems that his style is becoming more gender-neutral this year, with hair dyed brown, pearl jewelries and feminine makeup.

But I still quite enjoyed his performance, his body language was so beautiful (ugh! It’s such a shame that I can’t recreate it)and he was the first one going to the left terrace and saying hi to everyone. Toshiya is always the sweetest person in Diru to me.

I prefer his encore look more and he took off the shirt and threw it to the gift right in front of him

（and a random sketch）

That’s it! I could have drawn more but, sorry I’m a perfectionist, these pics really took me some time, but I may keep going if I have spare time.

And I’m not used to talking so much on the Internet, it is embarrassing somehow.

The year of 2023 has treated me rly good, I hope it would be the same for all of you and Diru members, see you next year.

#dir en grey #sukekiyo #kaoru #kyo #toshiya #A repo? maybe?

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ja3mln · 2 years ago

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cw: streamer!jaemin, streamer!y/n, female reader, fluff, crack, a lot (like A LOT) of cursing, twitter language and jokes abt mental illness!!!! slight typos, gaming language (might add more tags later)

summary: y/n is a huge fan of nana's content (and kinda has a big crush on him). she discovered twitch a few years ago and stumbled upon jaemin's channel, finding herself eagerly tuning in to every stream. but the craziest thing about this, is that jaemin made her want to become a streamer herself and inspired her to start her own channel, giving her the confidence and patience she needed to dive into the world of streaming. she secretly hopes that one day jaemin will notice her, perhaps become a regular viewer, and maybe even collaborate with her.

a/n: it's my first sns au ever so im a bit nervous😭 i hope yall like it pls be gentle with me if i make any mistakes or it's not that good 😖feedbacks are super important to me so feel free to put yours in my asks or u can just dm me (be nice pls) ill do my best i promise!! enjoy<3

⚠️ all of the content is pure fiction, none of the screens i'm going to use are real! none of the pics used are mine, cr to owners.

✮ MASTERLIST ✮

➤ profiles

➤ part 1

➤ part 2

➤ part 3

to be continued...

#nct dream x reader #nct x reader #na jaemin #jaemin x reader #jaemin fluff #nct dream fluff #nct dream sns au #nct dream fake texts #jaemin #jaemin scenarios #nct dream #nct reactions #nct dream reactions

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stychu-stych · 8 months ago

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Hi, sorry if this is weird but I'm saw in your bio that your a tattoo artist but I found your account theough some cult of the lamb art (it looks cool af) and I've been planning to do illustration and animation at unj but I've also been considering a tattoo artist apprenticeship after i finish that msybe? could you possibly tell me what irs like as an apprentice and if you think I could do my courses at uni and then do an apprenticeship after? I've really been struggling considering my choices and if you had any advice or information about being a tattoo artist weather its on an apprenticeship or actually as a career I would really appreciate it if you had any information for me! I'm so sorry if this is weird and of course you dont have to tell me anything if you don't want to or am uncomfortable too but I'm really curious and with no other sources 😭 (also finding your account may just be like my idol and inspiration while I struggle through school and what I do in the future 😭❤️)

That took me a while to answer because I never feel experienced enough to advise people 😭 Or maybe I should say - I don't feel in a position to advise because, as I once said, I'm mostly a self-taught working at home studio (now almost in my own art workshop with my fiancée) and I don't have much experience working in typical tattoo studio and with other tattoo artists. But I'll try my best ✨

There're many differences between apprenticeship in different countries (and tattooing in general) for example - Poland has one of the lowest price list in Europe but still a lot of people can't afford tattoos. Or that in UK being a tattoo apprentice is a long process. I know for sure that a lot of tattoo artists I know struggle with number of clients compared to previous years. And it won't change for a long time for sure because of inflation. So if you want to start tattooing you need to know that you won't earn much money for a year at least (as I said- it might looks different in another countries)

Also as a tattoo artist (even as a apprentice) you still need to take care of your social media which sometimes can be exhausting and depressing. And I'm telling all of this because I know that you probably won't find this kind of information on other tattoo artists' profiles (unfortunately strategy "look how my life is perfect" works for social media and for getting clients)

But on the brighter side - being a tattoo apprentice isn't something you have to dedicate your whole life to it. Lot of people I know have a second job to be financially stable. I myself don't live only from tattooing - I also help my fiancée with our online store (with our fanmerch and original artworks) and go on conventions with our booth. So you always can do multiple things at once and if you'll decide that tattooing isn't for you - nothing is lost!

The best way to know more about tattoo apprenticeship in your area is to check some groups - for example on facebook- dedicated to learning tattooing

I know that this post is sooo long but believe me, I barely touched the topic. I could write an entire essay about that topic djdbdjdh

Have some wolf lady because I like adding pics to posts sjdbsjsb

#ask stychu #stychu tattoo #tattoos #tattoo #tattoo artist #tattoo artwork #tattoo apprentice #Tattoo apprenticeship

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tutanchanup · 13 days ago

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@elin-moon had inspired me that it's okay to also share unfinished art. Thank you for that! 👍

So I thought that maybe I can finally post that painting that my profile pic comes from (nah Im kidding it was a selfie all along, this is how I look like, I am Dracula incarnate who discovered Tumblr 😝), since I'm not sure if I'll manage to finish it in this century.

It's an unfinished piece. Actually the first one I've ever done on a digital tablet, so it's been an experiment from the start.

I tried to copy the style of Anthony Van Dyck's "Portrait of a Man in Armour with Red Scarf", merge it with a stock photo of a man in armour in different pose, and on top of it all attemp to paint Vlad's face how I imagined it.

It was quite a challenge, especially given that I had no reference for the face, and the lighting and colour saturation in Baroque paintings is very special, so that was a wild ride, trying to figure out how would this strange light work on a imaginary face! I'm still not sure if I'm satisfied with it or not 😅

Then later I got stuck on how to merge the two pictures of men in armour together, since I liked the lighting in Van Dyck's painting but wanted to use the pose for the arms from the other photo. I found out that maybe I'll have to just make up some parts of the armour and its lighting, and that's when I realised I don't really know how to paint armour and the way the light scatters there without any reference whatsoever, so I postponed the piece until I learn how to do that...

So in the meantime I have been training painting armour, and maybe one day, when I'll understand the physics of how the light scatters there, I'll be able to draw it without reference, just from memory, realistically... And when that day comes, I might return to this piece.

But don't worry, thanks to that I have done some realistic paintings of Vlad in armour which you can await later 😉 (I just love painting this man, so he's became my lab rat when it comes to learning new things to paint 😄) sorry Măria Ta 😅

Also the colour in the Baroque portraits is just crazy... The men regularly look like they're wearing lipstick, the colours are so bright 😅. But it was fun trying to do some other style than my usual one 😄. I'm not sure how well I did, but it was fun anyway 😆

Also this piece was almost lost, since the tablet broke down and I was left with only the image I had saved somewhere, but with no layers. Since it already went though such hardship, I decided to be merciful and maybe let it see the light of the world, even unfinished, because what good will it ever do lying in the depths of my drawer... 😄

Why did I try to paint Vlad, who lived in the 15th century, in the style from the 17th century? I dunno 😆 I just like drawing him, and I liked that Van Dyck's painting 😅.

Anyway, if you like it, enjoy, if you don't, then... don't enjoy? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Here's the Anthony Van Dyck's painting:

"Portrait of a Man in Armour with Red Scarf"

#will I ever be able to post a pic without a wall of text explaining each detail? who knows!#unfinished art #my artwork #art in progress #artists on tumblr #my art #vlad tepes #vlad the impaler #vlad voda #dracula #vlad țepeș #vlandom #baroque #vlad dracula #sorry dracula fandom if I spam you too much XD

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cha-melodius · 1 year ago

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Oh my goodness, I've just seen your fic festival request post and am excited to sneak in to participate before it closes. I love your writing and your stories so very much!

My prompt suggestion is... firstprince in Edinburgh, Scotland... in particular, the Edinburgh pride parade (if I may be so oddly specific). AU welcome, canon welcome, makeouts welcome, ahem.

Thank you and good luck wrangling everyone's prompts!

(Firstly, I have to say I love your url and your profile pic! Secondly, this is heavier on the Pride and lighter on the Edinburgh as far as the details go, but I hope it delights. Inspired in part by a tweet shared on tumblr; rated M for dick jokes. Happy Bisexual Awareness Week!)

Something To Be Proud Of

(firstprince, 3.3k, M; read it below or on AO3) read all the fandom fest fics

Henry stares at the carbon copy of the email in his inbox and wills time to go backwards. Just a few minutes, that’s all he needs. Enough time to go back and keep autocorrect from transforming whatever he’d typed after ‘he’ in his pronouns after his name into… that.

Thank you so much for all your help. Together we can make this a truly exceptional Edinburgh Pride. Regards, Henry Fox (he/hung Sent from Outlook for iOS.

How had he not seen it before he hit send on an email going out to every volunteer on their mailing list? How had he not noticed?

Maybe no one else would notice either. No one looks at email signatures that closely, right?

~~~~~

Ok, he’s not delusional enough to think that no one noticed. He had, however, naively believed that everyone would recognise it for what it was and politely ignore his gaff. He gets away scot free for a few days, and then, at the end of an email sent by a volunteer that is mostly as expected, he sees:

Best, Alex (he/him) PS: not sure I did the pronouns right. Does ‘Pride’ over here include being proud of your big dick?

It’s a damned good thing that he wasn’t taking a sip of his tea at the time, or he might be wearing it instead. Once he’s finished choking on nothing and perhaps isn’t quite the colour of a tomato (oh, who is he kidding, of course he still is), Henry professionally answers Alex’s questions about the schedule for the day of the march. He pauses before the sign off, wondering if he should acknowledge the flub or pretend it never happened. In the end, he writes:

Regards, Henry (he/him) PS: Your pronouns look correct to me, but they are, of course, your choice.

He only checks the email about ten times before he sends it. Hopefully, that should be the end of it.

~~~~~

It’s not.

Apparently, Alex has more questions. Apparently the law firm he works for is one of this year’s sponsors and is interested in potentially running a free legal clinic associated with the festival. A noble endeavour, which Henry is only too happy to assist with. He makes a mental note to look into logistics with Kate, the event’s chair, and continues reading. Finding out that Alex is apparently mature enough to be a lawyer lulls him into a false sense of security, though. At the tail of the email, he finds:

PS: regardless of the size of your dick, I’m impressed by the balls it takes to not acknowledge the typo. Then again, maybe it wasn’t? PPS: I’m trying out new pronouns. How do you think (daddy/sir) would go over?

Henry does spit his tea all over his phone this time.

He doesn’t email Alex back right away, but that’s because he has to wait to hear back from Kate. It has nothing to do with the fact that the prospect of dragging this interaction out longer is both horrifying and vaguely thrilling. Henry has noticed that he uses Americanised spellings in his text, which seems to fit with his general demeanour. It piques Henry’s curiosity, even though the thought of actually having to face Alex in person still makes him flush automatically. Eventually he gets an email from Kate that includes additional questions for the firm, as well as telling him that he can pass it off to someone in sponsor coordination. He is, after all, just the volunteer coordinator for the march. This need not involve him.

He still emails Alex back with the questions. And:

PS: Although I support your creativity, I am concerned those pronouns may not be appreciated in a professional setting such as, for instance, a court of law. Just a thought. However, I do suspect they might be rather popular at Pride.

~~~~~

They keep on exchanging emails, even though Henry should have sent Alex’s contact info to sponsor coordination ages ago, even though it becomes clear that Alex is not the one who will be ultimately responsible for the clinic either. On every one, there is a postscript in which Alex makes some kind of joke about the size of Henry’s dick.

do you have to get all your pants specially made with extra room in the crotch

do you have to check your dick as luggage when you fly

have you ever used it as a tripod

is your dick in another time zone

do you call your dick Sir Richard because it’s that prominent

In turn, Henry responds as dryly as possible, which only seems to encourage him. Oddly for someone who is volunteering at the event, Alex seems to have a lot of questions about Pride itself, as though this is the first one he’s attending on any continent. They exchange emails almost right up to the day of the march itself, but if they do taper off, Henry is too busy to notice. Coordinating volunteers for something as big as Edinburgh Pride is intense, and the days tick by before he even knows it.

He’s standing off to the side at the volunteer check-in tent on the morning of the march, going over some last minute logistics with one of his staff, when a voice carries over the hubbub, deep and rich with an out-of-place American accent.

“Sorry, but I was hoping… is Henry here?”

Henry straightens up and turns toward the voice only to find perhaps the most stunning man he’s ever seen standing at the front table. Dark, curly hair, a sharp jaw, big brown eyes with the longest eyelashes Henry has ever seen— he’s actually impossibly beautiful. Unbelievable, really. As is the fact that he’s asking for Henry.

“Hello,” Henry says as he walks over to the front. “How can I help you?”

The man’s eyes snap over to him, and he very clearly looks Henry up and down and swears, “Jesus fuck,” under his breath. Then his eyes come back up to Henry’s face, and he swallows. “You’re not Scottish.”

Henry cocks an eyebrow at him. “Neither are you.”

“Yeah, sorry. I just— need to adjust what you sound like in my head,” he says nonsensically. “I’m Alex?”

Oh.

Oh, Christ.

Henry should have known, because how many other Americans could there be volunteering at Edinburgh Pride? That reality does nothing to help him cope with the situation presented before him, though, in which this is the man who’s been teasing him about the size of his dick for the last month.

“I, uh,” he says eloquently as he tries to pull himself together. There are far too many people standing around watching this exchange. “Hello. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. Did your firm get everything sorted with the clinic?”

“Oh,” Alex says, blinking. “Yeah, thanks. Look, I’m sure you’re busy, but I have something for you?”

It kind of comes out as a question, and he’s scratching the back of his head uncertainly, so even though Henry has no idea what’s coming, he nods. Then Alex reaches into his pocket, fishes out something small and round, and places it on the table between them.

It’s a button. A pronoun button, not unlike the one Henry’s already wearing, but instead it reads: he/hung.

Henry’s eyes snap up to find Alex grinning at him with the kind of mischief that Henry honestly should have expected from him sparkling in his eye. “Wanted to make sure you were prepared,” he says with a little one-shouldered shrug. “I’ll see you around, I guess.”

Then he takes his volunteer t-shirt and saunters off—and Christ those jeans are ridiculously tight and doing everything for his arse—leaving Henry gawping after him. A moment later, one of his regular volunteers, Robin, bustles by, catches sight of the button, and lets out a sound that can only be described as a cackle.

“My god, it’s perfect,” they say. “Did he really make this for you?”

Henry can only sigh, dragging a hand over his face. “It appears so. Robin, can you do me a favour?”

“Make sure you’re working the same stations all day?” they surmise. Henry doesn’t need to look to imagine the knowing grin on their face.

Henry wants to say no. Just because Henry’s already managed to combine the affection engendered by their previous email conversations with Alex’s stunning good looks into a powerfully intoxicating cocktail of a crush—well, that’s on Henry and his poor decision-making.

Instead, he says: “Yes, exactly that.”

~~~~~ ~~~~~

Alex had only signed up to volunteer at Pride on a whim. He’s always complaining that he doesn’t know anyone in Edinburgh outside of his coworkers, and one such coworker—someone that he could safely call a friend—suggested that getting involved in the festival would be a good way to meet people. Alex had tried to explain that he wasn’t actually queer, but she’d just given him an odd look and told him that allies were welcome at Pride too. It had felt a little weird signing up despite her assurances, but also kind of good. He was finally going get out there and have a life beyond his job.

He certainly hadn’t expected to strike up a prolonged email exchange with the volunteer coordinator, Henry. He also doesn’t really know why he kept finding excuses to send him new messages, except for Henry’s responses to Alex’s stupid jokes made Alex imagine him rolling his eyes and trying not to laugh, which only egged Alex on further. It was fun. That’s all.

Nothing about any of this made him prepared to show up to the volunteer check-in tent today and be plunged directly into a sexuality crisis. But that seems to be exactly what’s currently happening now that he’s been confronted by quite possibly the hottest man he’s ever seen. Alex doesn’t even get it because it’s not like he hasn’t been able to objectively appreciate attractive men before, and blond hair and blue eyes have historically never really done it for him. Even if they are combined with swooping cheekbones, and broad shoulders, and obscenely full, pink lips.

All he knows is that as much as this doesn’t make sense, it also suddenly does. Why he’d felt drawn to sign up in the first place. Why he spent the last month reading about the history of Pride in Edinburgh and around the world. Why he’d gone on a deep dive doing research about different sexualities, brushing it off as wanting to be informed before meeting new people.

Why he was so obsessed with Henry’s dick.

Jesus fuck.

He thinks he manages to hold a short conversation. Somehow he even gives Henry the custom button he brought as a joke, smiling the whole time like he’s not moment’s away from dropping to his knees. He flees the table safe in the knowledge that Henry will likely be too busy coordinating stuff all day and Alex probably won’t see him again. That confidence is shattered when, not even an hour later, Henry shows up at the station Alex is supposed to be working. He’s even wearing the joke button, under his regular pronoun button and next to a little rainbow flag pin. Alex is going to die.

“Oh hey,” Alex says in a reasonable facsimile of nonchalance. “Did you need me for something?”

“Not exactly,” Henry replies. “I’ll be working this station too.”

Yeah, Alex is definitely not going to make it through the day.

~~~~~

It actually turns out to be not as bad as he feared, despite how Henry’s volunteer t-shirt is probably a size too small (never mind that in the context of everyone else at Pride he looks downright conservative) and Alex keeps getting caught staring at his shoulders or his back or his waist. Henry keeps on giving him weird looks at the beginning, probably because he’s expecting Alex to be cracking crude jokes. Too bad Alex is way too wound up in his own head to think of anything at all.

They’re pretty busy all day, but they do get a chance to chat occasionally, mostly small talk stuff about jobs and how they both ended up in Edinburgh. Henry is there for grad school, apparently, and has been volunteering for Pride since he moved out from under his grandmother’s restrictive shadow. In turn, Alex tells him about applying for the law job on a whim, desperate to set himself apart from his parents, and how much he likes Edinburgh (despite the weather). As the day stretches on and the streets fill up, Alex feels himself relaxing into his skin again, undeniably enjoying the festivities as well as Henry’s company.

See, the other thing he never, ever expected is how good it feels to be here. All the people around him loudly comfortable in themselves, and the color and glitter and celebration— it’s amazing, but it’s not just that he’s watching other people be happy. There’s a kind of ecstatic joy that bubbles up inside him at the fact that he’s part of it, one that he feels down to his bones. A sense of belonging that he’s never really experienced before, and that, more than anything else, makes him more certain of his newfound revelation.

Straight people probably don’t feel like this at Pride.

At the end of the day, he’s helping pack up the main volunteer tent when he comes across a table full of pins depicting different pride flags. He dimly remembers seeing them when he’d checked in and thinking that none of them applied to him. Now, he stares down at them and bites his lower lip uncertainly.

“There’s a box for those under the table,” Henry tells him from across the tent, misinterpreting his hesitation.

“Oh, yeah, thanks,” Alex says, and Henry’s already turning back to whatever he’s doing when he manages to continue, “Hey, can I— um, can I take one of these?”

Henry stops, his brow creasing as he tips his head slightly. “Of course. That’s what they’re there for.”

“Right, thanks,” Alex says with a tight smile.

He puts his hand out, hesitates, then picks up one with pink, purple, and blue stripes. Stares down at it for another moment before he realizes he’s probably being weird and he’s pretty sure Henry is still watching him. He swallows hard, then pins it to his shirt next to his pronoun button.

No one jumps out to call him out for being an impostor. Henry offers him a careful smile, then turns back to his work like he knows Alex needs a moment to himself. He lets his fingers rub over the surface of the pin, feeling the little enamel ridges, and something settles under his skin, like an itch he hadn’t even been aware of until it was gone.

He feels almost normal by the time Henry walks up to him once they’re finished and everything is packed away in someone’s car.

“Thanks so much for your help today,” Henry says.

“It was my pleasure,” Alex replies, and means it more than he can say. “I’m really glad I decided to sign up.”

“I realize you may very well be tired of my face at this point, but if you don’t already have plans, I was wondering if you’d like to go get a drink?”

Alex would like to make a joke about how it might be literally impossible to get tired of Henry’s face, but at this point he’d probably fuck up and confess his undying love for a guy he just met. “Sounds great,” he says instead, looking around at where a few of the other volunteers are lingering nearby. “Do y’all usually all go out together afterward?”

Henry coughs slightly and glances down at the ground for a few seconds as his cheeks turn faintly pink. “Well yes, a group of them usually do. But I was actually asking if you wanted to go out with me,” he says. “Just the two of us.”

“Oh,” Alex breathes as his stomach decides to do a backflip. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Spending all day volunteering with Henry was fun. Going on a date with Henry, being the sole focus of his attention, is intoxicating. Alex feels like he could sit here all night listening to Henry talk about his research on queer history, although that’s far from the only thing they talk about. As the night wears on and the pub slowly empties, Alex is buzzing with a few drinks and the euphoria of really clicking with someone, already wondering when would be too soon to ask Henry out again.

Henry shifts slightly so his legs press against Alex’s where they’re tangled together under the table—have been for several hours, actually. He’s playing with the stirrer in his empty glass, and a little teasing smirk sneaks onto his lips as he looks up at Alex.

“So you made me a custom pronoun button but forgot your own?”

“Ah, you know,” Alex replies with a shit-eating grin and a one-shouldered shrug, “thought it would be too distracting, what with how everyone would be hitting on me all day.”

Henry hums thoughtfully, biting back a wider smile. “If you wanted to avoid that, you probably should have chosen some looser trousers.”

“That’s fair. I suppose you had to go for the room in yours.” Alex pauses a beat. “You know, on account of the size of your dick.”

That makes Henry actually laugh and shake his head fondly. “I was waiting all day for that.”

“Sorry to disappoint,” Alex says, chuckling along with him. It does feel like he owes Henry something of an explanation of why he was so weird all day. He looks down and licks his lips. “Can I confess something?”

“Of course,” Henry answers with a small, encouraging smile.

“A friend of mine suggested I volunteer for this because I wanted to meet people. Make new friends. But until today I actually thought I was… mostly straight?” Alex admits, trying not to wince as he stares fixedly into his empty glass. “Being part of this made me realize why I always felt a little like I wasn’t my whole self. So I was… kind of going through it a bit today.” He pauses, then adds, “Also you’re so ridiculously fucking hot that you kind of melted my brain.”

Henry laughs again, but it’s softer this time. Gentle. Alex kind of wants to sink into the sound. Henry’s cheeks are slightly pink as he extends a hand across the table, and Alex doesn’t hesitate before he slides his hand into Henry’s and links their fingers together.

“I’m glad to hear that, Alex,” Henry says. “I mean, the feeling like your whole self part. Not the brain melting part,” he adds, and Alex can’t help but laugh with him.

Henry doesn’t let go of his hand as they walk outside, and once they’re alone on the sidewalk he uses it to pull Alex close. He puts a hand on Alex’s hip and Alex has to tip his head up to look at him, and it’s a lot but he’s also pretty sure he’s never wanted anything more than to feel Henry’s lips pressed against his.

“I have a confession too,” Henry murmurs as he stares down into Alex’s eyes.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve been dreaming of kissing you since the very first moment I saw you.”

Alex lets one corner of his mouth tug upwards. “What’s stopping you, baby?”

“Christ, Alex,” Henry breathes, looking momentarily overwhelmed, but then he’s pressing his lips to Alex’s, and Alex feels his blood sing. It’s brief and chaste and leaves him aching for more, but then Henry looks down at him with heavy lidded eyes and asks, “Given your recent personal revelations, would it be terribly forward of me to ask you back to my place?”

“Ask away, sweetheart,” Alex replies, then he reaches up to touch the side of the ridiculous he/hung button that Henry is still wearing for some reason. “I wanna find out how accurate this button is.”

(It doesn’t take long for him to find out that the answer is: extremely.)

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #firstprince #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #rwrb fic #rwrb fanfic #firstprince fic #firstprince fanfic #chamel's fandom fest #my fic

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beowulfxgrendel · 5 months ago

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A few thought i had about someone and about emotions that i wanted to share:

I think its very interesting how someone can admire and hate a person at the same time. It just seems so illogical to me and I've never really experienced it before like right now.

They give me so much comfort and gender Euphorie because they're kind of a good role model for me to not be scared of doing stuff that is considered feminin while being transmasc. Like they're wearing eyeliner/kajal and nail polish and are or at least were taking testosterone because of a deficit and they think gender stereotypes are dumb.

And that gave me so much confidence to start wearing nail polish and eyeliner again.

And they are just overall such an inspiration (and a very cool person) and I really like drawing/painting them.

But at the same time they're probably the reason why I've felt no desire to paint at all the last few days and actually had to cry more than once. Cause they have such a unique writing style and I'm pretty sure they wrote that one comment about my painting, that made me regret posting it as soon as I read it.

Like I really appreciate them reposting my art. That's great. And tagging me was also very kind (and they also kinda have the right to just post it on their account since my reference was their picture to begin with, but at least telling me or asking me would have been very nice too) but taking two in-progress pictures that look even worse than the finished painting (which I also captioned as clearly not perfect) because they're from a moment where most things where clearly not finished (and also my signature wasn't on it) and then putting a caption that says that I painted them how I see them with my heart (which is not true at all. I admire them and was painting them for practise. To get better at painting. Because I was so inspired by them) and that "someone could have told them that they aren't as beautiful as they thought they were" has just been putting my inspiration to a complete stop.

I was so proud of how the painting turned out but I was also clearly aware that it wasn't perfect (but that I would ruin it if I continued working on it, cause the text parts had already frustrated me too much). And now when I'm looking at it I'm constantly reminded of their opinion on it and have to stop myself from just destroying it because it makes me so sad and angry and disappointed in myself or from deleting the post (because as I said they tagged me. And if people would look at my profile they wouldn't even see the result. They would just have seen the in progress pics and would probably believe the caption completely). And of course it could also have been one of the other two that could have written the caption. But first of all it has such a unique wording that it fits best to him and I think the other two wouldn't be so rude.

And I've still done a few sketches of them because they also give me so much comfort but then I remember the caption again and just get so frustrated. And I wanted to start another painting but I haven't even completed the first sketch because I'm just soo worried that I'll mess up that one too and I'm not strong enough to handle another such disappointment.

I mean if you don't like what I painted, you don't have to share it. You could have just ignored it. And if you liked it and that was some kind of twisted irony then it's not better either. Because that wouldn't be clear from the wording.

And Its just so weird how such a few words from one person (or maybe three. Idk if the other two have to approve of posts first) can have such a negative impact while I've gotten so many nice words from so many people in the community. The positive and nice comments clearly outweight the one negative comment. And still it affects me so much. Maybe because they helped me find confidence in things considered feminine by society.

And still I admire them. Still their voice comforts me. And sketching them too. Im still looking for them in backgrounds of some TV stuff. I'm still listening to their podcast and music and it still gives me so much energy. But it all has such a bitter aftertaste. And then I remember again why I feel so conflicted and have to stop myself from crying.

I just don't understand that. Why are emotions so complicated. Why can such a little comment influence my whole life so much while positive comments can't?

Edit: I am aware that they deleted that one sentence. And that's (I don't want to say nice) fine. Because both sentences were unkind. But they could have just changed the caption if they were already at it. Because I most certainly did not paint them the way I see them with my heart, I am not good enough for something like that yet, and that comment still hurts.

However, I'm very grateful for you nice people who reached out to me (and apparently also to them?) and showed me that I wasn't really overreacting. (And because it seems I haven't been quite clear about this: I am aware that they mostly make comedy stuff and all that and that it was probably a joke (or if not then it was a not very nice honest opinion on something, where I never asked for an opinion, on something I made clear that it wasn't perfect or exactly how I wanted it))

#idk how to tag this #thoughts #emotions

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6mayhem · 4 months ago

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top ten men??

okay.....this is a long personal post BE PREPARED!!! to find me cringe after this

in no particular order and most are also gonna be fictional LOLOLOLOLOL starting with the real people tho

gerard way...what can i say..... just 10/10 who I'm trying to be. All my problems would be solved if I could 100% embody him body mind and soul circa mid 2000s because spiritually that's who i was born to be. also the music is good very good. does he even count as a man anymore everyone's a transgender nowadays. anyway i don't actually know anything abt him apart from the stage persona and that's the way I'm trying to keep it bc everything i learn about celebrities I learn against my will

manuel germanletsplay. god i was so obsessed with him as a teenager. for the americans: he was of the biggest german gaming/minecraft youtubers and national heartthrob among teen girls. everyone shipped him with his friends including me THE FANFICSSSS..... he inspired a lot of transgenderism in me due to his twinky nature and his piano talent and long hair and the fact he never (to this day) showed his face. his persona was like a real life creepypasta character when it comes to sex appeal

isak valtersen skam..... skam is like my longest running hyperfixations i first watched it circa 2017 and have been rewatching at LEAST twice a year since then. idc that it's a teen show.......... he contributed greatly to my transgenderism. I love manipulative teen guys who are just the absolute fucking worst when you look at it objectively. he was such a male manipulator the whole s1 arc rlly made him out to be such a mastermind supervillain it was so silly. and then he got rlly pathetic in s3 ❤️❤️❤️❤️ anyway awesome outfits also..And anger issues

mickey milkovich shameless.... don't feel like I need to explain. WHAT AN ARC !!! he's a terrible person but like somehow the most sympathetic character in the entire show. everything past s7 was such flanderization it made me mad as hell but before that waowwaow.....he deserved better. my meowmeow. would move mountains and literally kill people for the most average annoying guy ever (real mickey fans hate ian) (jk hes fine minus the last 2 seasons)

syd march antiviral. what a fucking freak. he's got everything. blood kink. appearance of a sickly victorian child. horrible daddy issues. bisexuality. a thinly veiled transgender subplot. he's just so slimy and greasy and you just wanna punch him the entire movie I love it. big fan. also a male manipulator..U never know how much of his weakness is real and how much is faked to gain people's trust. he's just like me when it comes to obsessing over random beautiful women!!

sven kretschmer from ich hasse liebeslieder. no one knows this book because it was posted in like 2015 on a german fanfiction website but it permanently changed my brain chemistry. wow. i love him so much. he's everything to me. eyeliner wearing bisexual emo with greasy black hair who canonically looks like gerard way and struggles with every mental issue under the sun. erectile dysfunction subplot. has an abusive father. my favorite band is only kj because that's HIS favorite band. you could trace back 90% of who I am as a person to sven. HE BECAME A TATTOO ARTIST ALSO THAT'S SO COOL!!! and he's the most loyal bastard ever just a kicked puppy kinda guy i love men who are really clingy in relationships. but at the same time he also has insane anger issues which I ALSO love in a man GRIN 😁 😁 😁 😁 😁 ^^^^ see above faves this is a whole archetype of guy for me

jack as you are.... See profile pic!! you already knowwwww!!!!! he's just like me fr. sheltered/seen as weak and sensitive and longing to be rebellious and do things to impress other men (in a homosexual way). maybe transgender? maybe killed his best friend/brother/lover!! again...greasy long hair YAYYY!!! the whole movie could be a forcemasc fantasy

mirco from this sorta obscure book called landeplatz der engel....his mother rejected him. the woman who took him in is a prostitute.... he says ableist slurs but is the least ableist person in the whole book...he wears a ring with a jewel in the shape of a boar head how cool is that?? and he stole a car. and does illegal car races. and ditched his girlfriend for his new male best friend. and he's secretly really traumatized but never wants to be a victim and gets mad when you imply his past affected him 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 idk I just love how he never pretends to be a better person than he is, but the opposite of it. He never gives himself credit for how kind he is

will graham... What a fucking freak(2). proves that your life isn't over at 30 you can still find the love of your life and do really weird shit because you decided that the only thing you care about is what a freaky european cannibal thinks of you.

adam saw....what can i say. he's awesome. he's transgender. he's funny. he's tragic. he's in love with a man twice his age while his brain can't decide if it should see him as a father figure or romantic interest. relatable to me personally

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

my oc neph bell because he's awesome and basically me

steve harrington and eddie munson from stranger things bc i still ship it (there's zero canon moments but idgaf about canon its stupid anyway) bc 1. Tragic blond failson with daddy issues and 2. eddie gave me aesthetic aspirations fuel for like a full year before i figured out who i wanna be. so yeah. I'm only a little bit ashamed of this

tyler durden fight club because yeah. and by extension the narrator bc the moments where he acted like a proper weird fucker were so funny and also meeeeeeee x3

nezumi no.6 you edgy fucker

mo folchart inkheart bc i always wanted him to be my father

kurt cobain

my other oc cesar liehmann bc he embodies everything i like re: blond men with anger issues who have to compensate for their average height by acting more confident than they are

free space for whoever i might be forgetting rn. I always have a LOT of thoughts about fictional men....

SHIN TSUKIMI FROM YTTD LOL I REMEMBER BEING CRAZY ABT HIM

max zerophilia... just completely embraces his sexuality and status as a Z. shamelessly in love with both luke and luca. HOT!!!! kind of bad at flirting but it works for him. AND HE'S ALSO HOT AS MICHELLE AND I'M BISEXUAL SO THAT'S THAT

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gluion · 1 year ago

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serene (it’s what i hope for me) ➵ eric sohn

non-idol!eric sohn x reader

you should’ve known that eric wouldn’t be the one.

genre/warnings ➵ angst no happy ending, exes au, gender neutral reader, unedited, lowercase intended, shift between past and present to represent waves (hence the italics), the chilling realization of your suspicions always being right

word count ➵ 845 words

taglist ➵ @deoboyznet @kflixnet @blankjournal @winterchimez @miusgirl @jenoscafe @sweet-unicorn-world @mosviqu @vernyangel @stealanity @deobi0412 @blue-rainydays @maessseongs

playlist ➵ california and me by laufey // you missed my heart by phoebe bridgers

a/n ➵ on my period and in my eric feelings :’) inspired by “california and me” by laufey. please listen to it! it genuinely resembles the feeling of ocean waves, hence the constant shift between past and present :3 and no, the ocean waves pics have no relation to this fic i just love ghibli aesthetics for the banner. i hope you all like this drabble! don’t forget to reblog and leave feedback!

it’s serene here, beautiful—but it’s lonely; not a single sight of another person here to appreciate where summer continues to live amidst all seasons.

“i’m sorry.” those are the words that first leave eric’s mouth once you two arrive at the han river, the first words to confirm your suspicions of tonight.

you hold your breath. “w—what?”

“i know, i—”

“did i do something wrong?” your glossy eyes shine like stars under the moonlight; you almost hope they’re enough for eric to take those words back.

“no, no!” he attempts to reassure you but they’re meaningless after what he told you. “it’s not your fault. nothing is your fault.”

seagulls flap their wings, croaking out sounds of their whereabouts, finding their flock they may have been separated from. as you hear a similar sound in the distance, you watch the flock rush off.

and while the beach is heaven on earth, you grow bitter. surrounded by instances of one coming back—choosing to reunite with the other—you wonder if that’ll ever happen to you.

“i—i could call you every night, or morning! maybe i can—”

“y/n, no,” he cuts you off. “we talked about this before, remember? we can’t do long distance, we’ve always hated it.”

your lips tremble. “you don’t even want to try?”

silence settles between you two.

“i would try to make it work for us, but you wouldn’t?”

a sigh leaves him. his hand reaches to rub his temple. “but it wouldn’t be fair to us.”

your phone rings. you look at it to see your best friend calling, so you answer it, putting it against your ear.

“y/n, i have to tell you something.”

a chuckle leaves you. “i know.”

“huh? but how? he only posted that picture an hour ago,” chanhee points out. “do you still follow his instagram?”

you only hum in disagreement.

“did you check his profile again?”

as you look down at your feet that’s consumed by the sand, a sigh leaves you.

“i thought we agreed to not look at his socials anymore! do we need to talk—”

“no, chanhee,” you cut him off. “i didn’t look at any of his accounts.”

“then how do you know? you knew exactly what i was referring to. how?”

you close your eyes, letting the heat of the sun and the coolness of the breeze consume you whole. “i just know.”

you look away from eric, allowing your eyes to take in the sight of the river stream continuously flow as it reflects the luminescence of korea—city lights and stars all together.

such a beautiful sight, but such a shame that it’s been soiled by his words.

“you’re right,” you find yourself saying. “we’ve talked about it before, we could never survive in a long distance relationship.”

you look back at eric. his go-to smile and the sparks in his eyes—all vanished in one night.

“i just wish we could.”

“i know. i do, too.”

your eyes peel open, greeted by the sight of the serene once more. you wish it could stay like this—tranquil, lasting.

“i hope you’re okay,” chanhee says on the other line. “i’m sorry that this is happening.”

you bite the inside of your cheek. “it’s okay, i’ll be okay.” it sounds convincing to you but not to your best friend. “i’ll call you later, okay?”

he hums for a moment. “okay, i’m here for you.”

you drop the call. you stare at your home screen for a moment until you decide to open up instagram.

you shouldn’t be doing this, especially after chanhee’s reminder, but your best friend's words have cracked the dam that held the water from pouring out.

you type his user like a password—discreetly, one you still know by heart.

so you click on his profile, and your eyes land on the most recent post. from the preview in his profile grid, you already know that you were right. a bitter smile settles on your lips.

in the same way the waves come and go, he always goes back to her.

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