#taesan angst | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kaiyunsim · 9 days ago

Text

sk8er boi —

pairing : skater boy!taesan x academic gn!reader

summary : taesan, the well known skater, slacker, and band member of boynextdoor, catches the eye of one of the top students in school which leads to a flurry of complications.

warnings : a.n.g.s.t, fluff, band au, woonahk + leehan are wingmen, LOTS of insecurities and insecurites, featuring sung hanbin from zb1 and leeseo from ive as the readers friends.

a/n : IT FINALLY DROPPED !! i've been too obsessed with this song i think i might die. taesan was soooooo sk8er boi coded so like yk i had to.

— wc : 11.6k — not proof read —

the first time you really see han taesan, it’s not at school. it’s not in the hallways where he leans against lockers, talking lazily to his friends, or in the cafeteria where he slouches in a chair, kicking his feet up on the table while jaehyun smacks them off. it’s not even in the skatepark where he spends most of his free time.

it’s in the library.

it’s late. later than you usually stay, but leeseo convinced you to help her cram for an upcoming quiz, and sung hanbin, the responsible one, promised to treat you both to coffee afterward. the library is quieter than usual, the overhead lights buzzing softly as the three of you sit in one of the far corners.

“if i fail this,” leeseo groans, pressing her forehead against the table, “i’m going to cry. like, actual tears.”

“you won’t fail,” hanbin reassures her, flipping through his neatly highlighted notes. “just focus. here, try this question—”

but leeseo isn’t listening anymore. her eyes widen as she nudges you, not-so-subtly gesturing toward the entrance. “look who just walked in.”

you glance up, expecting a teacher or maybe some last-minute studier like yourselves. leeseo has been mentioning a teacher she found cute but you had to cut her out of her delusions.

instead, you see him. han taesan, pushing open the library door with one hand while holding his skateboard in the other. he doesn’t belong here. not in this quiet, studious atmosphere. and yet, here he is, wearing a black hoodie over a band t-shirt, ripped jeans, and the same scuffed sneakers he always wears.

behind him, the rest of boynextdoor trails in. sungho looks bored, running a hand through his hair as he scans the room. riwoo has his headphones on, already bopping his head to whatever he’s listening to. jaehyun is carrying a backpack, which means someone is actually planning to study. leehan is whispering something to woonhak, who nods before laughing under his breath.

they stand out in every way possible. loud personalities forced into a silent space.

“what are they doing here?” leeseo mutters, wrinkling her nose.

“probably failing their classes,” hanbin says, not unkindly but matter-of-fact. “jaehyun’s the only one who actually studies, i think.”

“doesn’t matter,” you say, turning your attention back to your notes. or at least, you try to. but as you read the same sentence over and over, you can’t help but be aware of taesan.

he moves differently from the others. while the rest of his friends slink toward an empty table, he pauses by the bookshelf near yours, scanning the spines of the books with mild interest. it’s weird. you’ve never seen him hold a book before, let alone look for one.

you try not to stare, but then his fingers brush against a book, flipping it open casually. for a moment, he looks genuinely focused, eyes scanning the page like he’s actually reading. but then he shuts it just as quickly, sighing before shoving it back onto the shelf.

“he’s so full of himself,” leeseo says under her breath, watching as taesan finally joins his group. “have you seen the way he acts? like he doesn’t care about anything.”

“he doesn’t care about anything,” hanbin corrects. “except skating. and his band.”

“oh, right, his band,” leeseo scoffs, making air quotes. “like that’s gonna get him anywhere.”

you don’t say anything. it’s not like you disagree after all. taesan’s reputation is as solid as stone. he’s the guy who barely passes his classes, who gets detention for skipping, who spends more time perfecting a kickflip than doing actual homework. your friends see him as a lost cause, and you’ve never had a reason to question that.

but then, as if he can feel you thinking about him, taesan glances up.

your eyes meet for a split second.

it’s nothing. it’s barely anything.

but instead of looking away, he holds your gaze. and then, he smirks. just the slightest twitch of his lips, like he knows something you don’t.

you snap your head down, suddenly very interested in your notes. re-reading the same word again.

“gross,” leeseo mutters. “he’s so arrogant.”

“he really is,” hanbin agrees. “come on, let’s focus. we need to finish this before the library closes.”

you nod, forcing yourself to concentrate, but your mind keeps drifting back to that one moment. his gaze, his smirk, the way he seemed completely unbothered by everything around him.

it was nothing.

but for some reason, it doesn’t feel that way.

you tell yourself it was nothing. a look. a stupid, meaningless look in the middle of the library, a place han taesan doesn’t even belong in. you convince yourself it wasn’t directed at you. maybe he was looking at something behind you. maybe he smirked because of something his friend said.

maybe you’re just imagining things.

but the problem is now you notice him.

it’s not on purpose. it’s not like you want to be aware of him. but suddenly, han taesan is everywhere.

in the mornings, when you walk into school, he’s there in the courtyard with his skateboard, practicing tricks while his friends watch. sungho claps him on the back when he lands a difficult one, and riwoo films clips for their social media. sometimes he messes up, but he never looks embarrassed, he just laughs, shakes out his legs, and tries again.

in the halls, you catch glimpses of him leaning against lockers, chatting with jaehyun or leehan about something you don’t understand. his hoodie is always slightly oversized, his hands tucked into the front pocket like he has nowhere important to be.

in class, he’s not as disruptive as people make him out to be. sure, he zones out, tapping his fingers against his desk like he’s drumming to a song in his head, but he isn’t rude. he doesn’t talk over the teacher or make a big scene. sometimes, you even catch him sketching in his notebook, half-finished designs of skateboards, little doodles in the margins of his notes, messy but interesting. even some lyrics he thinks about while bored.

you don’t realize you’re staring until hanbin nudges you.

“earth to y/n. you okay?”

you blink, tearing your gaze away from where taesan is sitting a few rows ahead. he’s slouched in his chair, twirling a pen between his fingers, not paying attention to the lesson at all.

“yeah,” you say quickly, feeling heat creep up your neck. “just zoning out.”

hanbin raises an eyebrow but doesn’t question it.

but it doesn’t stop there.

one afternoon, on your way home, you take a shortcut through the park. it’s quiet, with only a few people scattered around, mostly kids playing or joggers passing by. but then, near the skatepark, you hear music.

you pause.

it’s a song you don’t recognize, but it’s good. raw, unpolished, but good. you follow the sound until you spot them. boynextdoor, huddled together on a set of stairs near the skate ramps. sungho has a guitar in his lap, strumming casually. jaehyun is humming along while woonhak taps out a beat on his knee. riwoo is messing with his phone, recording bits of their practice.

and then there’s taesan.

he’s sitting on his skateboard, elbows resting on his knees, head tilted back as he listens. his dark hair falls into his eyes, but he doesn’t seem to care.

“again,” he says after a moment. “start from the top.”

sungho rolls his eyes but starts playing again, and this time, taesan sings.

you freeze.

you’ve never heard him sing before. you know his band performs at underground gigs, but you’ve never gone. you’ve never had a reason to.

but his voice. his voice is rough around the edges, not perfect, but there’s something real about it. something honest.

you don’t mean to linger, but before you can move, taesan’s eyes flicker toward you.

your breath catches.

for a second, neither of you move.

then, instead of looking away, he lifts his hand in a lazy wave, like he’s not surprised to see you there at all.

panic jolts through you, and you do the first thing that comes to mind. you turn around and walk away.

fast.

you don’t stop until you’re a safe distance from the park, heart hammering in your chest.

why are you acting like this? why does it feel like you just got caught doing something you shouldn’t?

it’s not a big deal. it’s not.

except now, han taesan knows you were watching.

and the next day, he makes sure you know he knows.

it happens between classes. you’re at your locker, organizing your books, when a shadow falls over you.

“did you like the song?”

you nearly drop your notebook.

slowly, you turn your head, and there he is. the han taesan, standing next to you like it’s the most normal thing in the world. he smells faintly like cologne and something else, something warm, like sun on pavement.

you open your mouth, then close it.

“what?”

“the song,” he repeats, tilting his head. “you heard it yesterday, right?”

your throat is dry. “i was just passing by.”

he hums, unconvinced. “sure.”

you grip your notebook tighter. “why are you even talking to me?”

taesan shrugs, the corner of his mouth tugging up just slightly. “dunno. you’re interesting.”

your brain short-circuits.

you? interesting?

before you can process that, leeseo’s voice calls out from behind you.

“y/n ! come on, we’re gonna be late!”

taesan steps back, stuffing his hands into his hoodie pocket.

“see you around, genius.”

and then he’s gone, disappearing into the crowd like he didn’t just completely ruin your entire day.

leeseo and hanbin catch up to you, and leeseo frowns. “what did he want?”

“nothing,” you say quickly. too quickly.

hanbin eyes you but doesn’t press.

still, as you walk to class, you can’t stop replaying his words in your head.

“you’re interesting.”

this is bad.

this is really bad.

the worst part is that taesan doesn’t even try to prove your friends wrong.

after that weird conversation at your locker, you expect him to keep bothering you, to tease you every time he sees you. but he doesn’t. he doesn’t go out of his way to talk to you. he doesn’t change anything about the way he acts.

he just keeps being himself. skating in the mornings, goofing off with his band during breaks, sketching in his notebook when he’s bored in class.

but the damage is already done. because now, whenever he walks past, your stomach tightens. when he laughs with his friends, you find yourself looking before you can stop yourself. and when he catches you and smirks, like he knows you’re paying attention, you have to force yourself to look away.

your friends notice, of course.

“you’re acting weird,” leeseo says one afternoon as the three of you sit in the cafeteria. “ever since he started talking to you.”

“i’m not acting weird,” you say. too quickly.

“you so are,” she insists. “right, hanbin?”

hanbin sighs, poking at his food. “it’s not weird, it’s just… unexpected. taesan’s not exactly the type to take interest in school stuff.”

“yeah, which is why y/n needs to be careful,” leeseo says. “guys like him? they’re fun to look at but nothing else.”

you don’t say anything.

they aren’t wrong. han taesan isn’t like you. he’s a skater, a musician, the kind of guy who doesn’t think too far ahead. and yet…

“maybe he’s not that bad,” you mumble before you can stop yourself.

leeseo stares. “excuse me?”

“i just mean—” you hesitate. “i don’t know. he’s not rude or anything. he’s just… himself.”

“that’s exactly the problem,” she argues. “he doesn’t care about anything. he’s never going to take life seriously.”

you want to disagree. but you don’t.

because if you defend him too much, they’ll know.

they’ll know about the way your heart jumps when he looks at you. the way your brain replays his stupid voice saying see you around, genius.

so you stay quiet.

and you try to push it all away.

but then there’s woonhak.

you don’t know much about him aside from the fact that he’s the youngest in taesan’s group. he’s always laughing, always cracking jokes, always the most energetic of the bunch.

so it catches you off guard when, one day after school, he falls into step beside you as you’re walking out.

“hey,” he says cheerfully.

you blink. “uh… hey?”

“you’re y/n, right?”

“…yeah?”

he grins, nodding. “thought so. you know, taesan’s been talking about you.”

your stomach flips. “what?”

woonhak laughs at your expression. “not in a weird way! just, like—he thinks you’re cool.”

you stare at him.

taesan thinks you’re… cool?

“why are you telling me this?” you ask suspiciously.

woonhak shrugs. “dunno. you seem chill. also, i figured you should hear something about us that isn’t from your friends.”

you tense. “what’s that supposed to mean?”

he gives you a knowing look. “we know how people see us. dumb kids who don’t care about school, right?”

you shift uncomfortably. “i mean—”

“you don’t have to lie,” he says, still smiling. “i get it. we mess around a lot, and taesan’s got his whole too cool for everything vibe, but…” he pauses, tilting his head. “you ever actually talked to him? like, really talked to him?”

you don’t answer.

because the truth is… you haven’t.

taesan has spoken to you, sure. teased you, smirked at you, made your heart do all sorts of annoying things. but you’ve never sat down and had a real conversation. never actually asked him about his music, his art, his life.

“he works harder than people think,” woonhak continues. “he just doesn’t show it in the same way you do. and he really does like you, you know.”

your breath catches. “what?”

“not, like, in a romantic way,” woonhak clarifies quickly, though his grin suggests otherwise. “he just thinks you’re interesting.”

there it is again. interesting.

you don’t know what to do with that.

so you do what you always do.

you ignore it.

“cool,” you say, trying to sound unaffected.

woonhak doesn’t look convinced, but he just chuckles. “anyway, just thought i’d say hi. see you around, y/n.”

and with that, he jogs off, leaving you standing there, brain spinning.

you should just let this go. you should listen to your friends, stick to your world, and forget about taesan entirely.

but as you watch woonhak disappear down the street, you feel something shift inside you.

something that tells you, this situation isn’t going away anytime soon.

—

you try your best to forget about han taesan.

after woonhak’s little chat, you tell yourself it doesn’t matter. what he said. ‘he really does like you, you know’ was probably just him messing around. taesan barely even talks to you. he’s just being his usual, reckless self, getting involved where he doesn’t belong.

but no matter how much you try to ignore it, you keep running into him.

and each time, it gets harder to pretend that something isn’t pulling you closer.

the library incident happens on a tuesday.

it’s supposed to be a peaceful afternoon. you’re at your usual table, buried in your notes, trying to focus on your upcoming exams. hanbin and leeseo sit across from you, whispering about something that isn’t school-related.

everything is normal. until the door swings open.

“i cannot believe you actually dragged me here,” taesan groans, his voice breaking the quiet.

you stiffen.

you don’t even have to look to know it’s him. but, unfortunately, you do look—because his voice is impossible to ignore, because your brain is stupid and wants to confirm that, yes, han taesan is standing in the library, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else.

sungho and jaehyun flank him on either side, looking much more comfortable than he does.

“we dragged you here because you’re failing, dumbass,” jaehyun mutters, shoving him forward.

“i am not failing,” taesan protests. “i’m just… struggling.”

“struggling to even open your textbook,” sungho deadpans, leading him toward a table.

leeseo makes a noise of disapproval. “ugh. them?”

“just ignore them,” hanbin says, flipping a page in his notebook. “not our problem.”

but it is a problem. because now, taesan is sitting just a few tables away from you, slumped over his books, looking absolutely miserable.

you try to focus.

you really, really try.

but then—

“psst. genius.”

your pen stills against your notebook.

you don’t have to turn around to know it’s taesan.

you turn around anyway.

he’s leaned back in his chair, one arm draped over the backrest, looking right at you.

“how do you do this?” he asks, pushing a book toward you like it personally offended him.

“do what?” you say flatly.

“study,” he groans. “it’s so boring.”

jaehyun smacks him upside the head. “shut up and focus.”

you should turn back to your work. you should.

but instead, you sigh. “maybe if you actually read instead of whining, it wouldn’t be so hard.”

sungho snorts. “finally, someone who says it straight.”

taesan huffs. “wow, okay. you could just offer to tutor me.”

“not happening,” you say immediately.

he grins, like he expected that answer. “worth a shot.”

you roll your eyes and go back to your notes. but even as you pretend to ignore him, you can still feel his eyes on you, like he’s waiting for you to slip up and react.

and the worst part?

you kind of want to.

the next time you see him, it’s at the skatepark.

you don’t mean to go there. you’re just walking home, taking a longer route because the weather is nice. and somehow, your feet lead you to the park, where you hear laughter and the familiar sound of wheels against concrete.

you could leave.

you should leave.

but instead, you linger at the edge, watching.

taesan is mid-trick, flipping his board with practiced ease. he lands smoothly, a smug grin spreading across his face as riwoo claps.

“finally,” riwoo says. “took you long enough.”

“shut up,” taesan laughs, grabbing his board.

you don’t realize you’re staring until woonhak pops up beside you.

“you so have a crush.”

you nearly jump out of your skin. “what—“

woonhak just grins. “don’t even try to deny it. i see you.”

“i don’t have a crush,” you say quickly. too quickly.

“uh-huh,” he hums, clearly unconvinced.

before you can argue, someone else joins you—leehan, quieter than woonhak but just as observant.

“are you coming to the show?” he asks casually.

you blink. “what show?”

“we’re playing this weekend,” he explains. “you should come.”

“i don’t think—”

“taesan would love it if you did,” woonhak says, grinning.

you freeze.

leehan elbows him. “stop making it weird.”

“what? i’m just saying.”

“you’re implying things,” leehan mutters. then he turns back to you. “seriously, though. you should come. it’ll be fun.”

you hesitate.

your friends would definitely disapprove.

but then you glance back at taesan, who’s laughing at something sungho said, looking so effortlessly cool, so different from the type of people you usually surround yourself with.

and before you can stop yourself, you say—

“okay. maybe.”

woonhak cheers, clapping you on the back. “knew you had it in you!”

you shake your head, already regretting it.

but deep down, a part of you is excited.

the night of the concert comes faster than expected.

you almost don’t go.

hanbin and leeseo invite you to study, and for a second, you consider it… going back to your routine, pretending like han taesan doesn’t exist.

but something stops you.

something pulls you there.

so now, you’re standing in the middle of a dimly lit venue, surrounded by people who actually belong in this crowd. the air buzzes with energy, anticipation thick as the stage lights flicker.

and then the band steps on stage.

and then he steps on stage.

han taesan doesn’t hesitate. doesn’t falter.

he owns it.

he grabs his mic, runs a hand through his hair, and smirks at the crowd like he knows he’s exactly where he’s meant to be.

the music starts, loud and raw and alive.

and then he’s singing.

his voice isn’t perfect. it’s a little rough, a little unpolished, but it fits. it’s real. it’s him.

and then, in the middle of the song, his eyes scan the crowd...

and lock onto yours.

your breath catches. for a second, the world tilts.

he doesn’t look away.

neither do you.

and in that moment, with music thrumming through your veins and taesan’s voice filling the air, you realize

you’re completely screwed.

you can’t breathe.

not because the room is stuffy, or because the music is loud, or because the crowd is pushing in from all sides.

but because han taesan is looking right at you.

the stage lights flicker, flashing over his face, highlighting the smirk curling at his lips. the microphone is gripped loosely in his hand, the strap of his guitar slung over his shoulder. he sings like the stage belongs to him, like the music was made for him, and yet...

his eyes don’t stray from yours.

you feel rooted to the floor, like if you move, you’ll break whatever invisible thread is keeping the two of you connected.

and you hate it. you hate how much your heart reacts to him, how your stomach tightens every time his voice rasps into the mic.

this is bad.

this is really bad.

and it only gets worse when, from the corner of your eye, you see woonhak grinning at you from across the room.

he’s standing near the side of the stage, watching the exchange like he’s witnessing the most entertaining thing in the world.

and then, because he’s the absolute worst, taesan winks at you.

you snap your gaze away, face burning.

but the damage is already done.

because now, you can’t not notice taesan.

the way his fingers glide over the guitar strings so effortlessly. the way his hair falls into his eyes when he tilts his head. the way he smirks between lyrics, like he’s enjoying this.

like he knows what he’s doing to you.

this was a mistake and you shouldn’t have come. but god, you can’t bring yourself to regret it.

because even though everything inside you is screaming that this is dangerous, that getting involved with him will only make things complicated.

but still. you don’t want to look away.

not now. not ever.

when the set finally ends, the room erupts into cheers. people push forward, clapping, whistling, shouting their names.

you try to steady yourself, try to ignore the way your pulse is racing, hand gripping your shirt for stabilty, but you feel a graze on your shoulder.

woonhak appears at your side.

“so,” he says, arms crossed, smirk firmly in place. “you’re definitely in trouble.”

you glare at him. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

he snorts. “oh, please. i saw that whole thing. he saw that whole thing.”

“he was just looking at the crowd,” you say, even though you know it’s a lie.

“right. because taesan always makes intense eye contact with random people while singing,” he deadpans.

you groan, rubbing your face. “i hate you.”

“nah, you love me,” he grins. “but not as much as you love him.”

“woonhak—”

“i’m just saying,” he singsongs. “you might wanna start being honest with yourself. and maybe with him, too.”

you don’t dignify that with a response.

but as you glance toward the stage, where taesan is still lingering, laughing at something jaehyun said—

you know woonhak is right.

and that terrifies you more than anything.

—

taesan doesn’t come to practice.

he never skips practice.

it’s something you hear from sungho after school, when he finds you by the front gates, watching the sky darken as you wait for your usual bus. you’re trying really hard not to think about what happened earlier. about the way taesan looked at you before walking away, about the heavy silence he left behind. but sungho showing up with that look on his face makes it impossible to ignore.

“he didn’t show up,” he says, standing next to you like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

you glance at him. “who didn’t?”

sungho gives you a flat look. “you know who.”

your stomach twists, but you force a shrug. “maybe he had something else to do.”

“he never skips,” sungho repeats, more firmly this time.

you don’t answer.

because what are you supposed to say? 'yeah, it’s probably my fault. i didn’t defend him when i should have, and now he’s upset. i didn’t mean to hurt him, but i still did.'

sungho sighs, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“what happened?”

you swallow. “nothing...”

“don’t lie.”

“i’m not lying.”

he levels you with a stare, unimpressed. “you totally are.”

you exhale sharply, looking away.

“look,” he says, voice softer now, “he’s been acting weird all day. he barely talked during lunch, barely even looked at his board, and now he’s skipping practice? that’s not taesan.”

“i don’t know,” you mumble.

sungho raises a brow. “don’t know, or don’t want to say?”

you press your lips together, gripping the straps of your bag.

because the truth is...

you do know.

and you hate yourself for it.

it started during lunch.

your friends were scrolling through their phones, passing around a video of boynextdoor performing.

“god,” leeseo groaned, wrinkling her nose. “he’s so obnoxious.”

“who?” hanbin asked, leaning over to look.

“han taesan.” she jabbed a finger at the screen. “look at him. he acts like he’s a rockstar or something.”

your grip tightened around your drink.

“he is in a band,” hanbin pointed out.

“yeah, but he takes it so seriously. it’s kinda embarrassing.”

they laughed.

but you didn’t. and you didn't say anything either

you just sat there, staring at the table, pretending like the words didn’t make something in your chest ache.

but just then.

taesan walked by.

he wasn’t close enough to hear everything, but he did hear enough. his steps faltered just slightly, his easygoing expression slipping for just a second before he schooled his face back into something unreadable.

and then his eyes met yours. not angry. not annoyed.

just… disappointed.

like he expected this... like he expected you to be different.

but you weren’t.

you didn’t speak up. you didn’t say anything.

so he walked away.

and now, he’s gone.

—

sungho watches you carefully, waiting.

when you still don’t answer, he tilts his head. “so… it was you.”

“i didn’t do anything,” you say quickly.

“exactly.”

you flinch.

sungho sighs, rubbing the back of his neck.

“look,” he says, “i don’t know what’s going on between you two, but if this is about your friends—”

“it’s not,” you cut in.

his brows lift. “isn’t it?”

you exhale sharply, looking away.

because it is.

and it always has been.

from the moment you met taesan, you knew your friends wouldn’t approve. you knew they’d see him as reckless, as trouble, as someone you shouldn’t be around.

so you held back.

you pretended you didn’t care, pretended that the way he looked at you didn’t make your heart race, that his stupid grin and sharp comebacks didn’t make you want to keep talking to him.

but you do care. you care too much. and now, it’s hurting him.

“you know he likes you, right?” sungho says, breaking the silence.

your breath catches. “what?”

sungho gives you a look. “don’t play dumb. it’s so obvious.”

you open your mouth, then close it again.

“you like him too, don’t you?”

your heart pounds. “i—”

“you do.”

he says it like it’s a fact. like it’s undeniable.

you swallow, gripping your bag tighter.

“so what are you so afraid of?”

you inhale sharply because the answer is simple.

you’re afraid of what people will say. afraid of how things will change. afraid of being wrong about him.

but most of all...

you’re afraid of how much you want this. how much you want him.

sungho watches as the realization washes over your face.

then, after a beat, he sighs.

“look,” he says, voice gentler now, “i’m not telling you what to do. but if you don’t talk to him soon, you’re gonna lose him.”

the words hit harder than you expect.

“i just want my friend back to normal so just… think about it, yeah?"

you don’t respond... but you don’t need to.

because the moment sungho walks away, leaving you alone with your thoughts, you already know.

you have to fix this.

before it’s too late.

—

days pass, and taesan doesn’t talk to you.

he doesn’t show up at school, and every time you hear the familiar buzz of a new notification, you convince yourself it’s not boynextdoor. not that you’d check it, anyway. not that you’re even tempted.

except you are.

the silence is suffocating.

the whole thing has weighed on you. his disappointment, your hesitation, the stupid comment from leeseo and hanbin earlier, everything. the guilt keeps clawing at you from the inside. and each time you see a new picture of taesan or one of his bandmates posted online, each time you hear about them playing a new show, you feel like you’re suffocating in your own indecision.

but you don’t do anything about it.

because you’re scared.

scared of what your friends will think. scared of what your whole reputation means, scared of breaking the illusion that you’ve built up for all these years. you’ve worked so hard to maintain this image, to fit in with the people you’ve always been around, the friends you’ve known for years. how can you just throw that all away for some guy you barely know?

for taesan?

no.

it’s safer to stay where you are.

so you do what you’ve always done. keep your distance. make yourself busy. keep your head down. you don’t need to deal with whatever feelings you’ve got swirling in your chest. you don’t need to question everything.

but when you hear the news about BOYNEXTDOOR performing at an underground gig that weekend, something in you snaps.

it’s all too much.

you can’t just keep pretending.

you can’t keep telling yourself that everything’s fine when you know it isn’t.

you’re standing in the middle of the hallway when the poster catches your eye. the colors are bright, the date is bold. BOYNEXTDOOR. their name plastered across the top in big letters, their faces a reminder of everything you’ve been trying to ignore.

the gig is that Saturday.

you don’t know how long you stand there, staring at the poster, feeling the weight of your own indecision. your heart is hammering in your chest, a familiar sense of unease gnawing at your insides.

but this time, you don’t look away.

this time, you’re not running from it.

you don’t tell anyone about it. not leeseo, not hanbin. not even sungho. you don’t need their opinions right now. you’ve heard enough of them. you just… need to make a decision. your own decision.

when the night of the gig arrives, you feel sick to your stomach.

your heart thuds against your ribcage, the adrenaline buzzing through your veins like you’re about to jump off a cliff. you’re standing outside the venue, the doors just up ahead, with a small crowd already lining up in front of you. the building’s dark, unmarked by anything other than the small neon sign above the entrance. the thumping music from inside pulses through the walls, and for a second, you think about turning around, walking away.

but you don’t. you walk forward.

because for the first time in ages, you don’t care about what anyone thinks.

and you want to see taesan.

you want to see him so badly that it almost hurts.

you missed him. his smirk, his teases, his presence.

the crowd outside is packed with people, but you push through, feeling the warmth of the others as they chat amongst themselves, their energy high. you walk in, and the moment you do, the music hits you. the bass reverberates in your chest, and for a split second, you forget everything.

until you see them.

you see BOYNEXTDOOR on the stage, taesan right at the front, his guitar slung across his shoulder, his eyes scanning the crowd. when they meet yours, something shifts in his expression. he doesn’t smile, but there’s something there, something that makes you freeze in place.

but he doesn’t come over.

he doesn’t even move.

and you don’t know if that’s worse. if you should be relieved, or if you should be disappointed that he’s not even trying anymore.

you’re frozen, staring, and then you feel a tap on your shoulder.

woonhak.

he grins, the usual playful glint in his eyes. “hey, didn’t think you’d actually show up.”

you swallow, blinking, trying to force your heart to calm down. “yeah. well… i guess i changed my mind.”

woonhak studies you for a second, his smirk softening into something that’s just a little too knowing for your liking. “you’re here for taesan, huh?”

“i—” you start, but you can’t finish the sentence. because it’s true. you are here for him.

woonhak laughs, nudging you with his elbow. “you’re not fooling anyone, you know.”

you look away, not answering.

he doesn’t press. instead, he just leads you to a spot near the front, a little closer to the stage. you can see the others now: jaehyun, riwoo, leehan, sungho. all of them lost in the music. and then you see taesan again, this time a little closer, his fingers moving across the strings of his guitar as if nothing in the world matters but the rhythm.

it’s intoxicating.

and, as you stand there, all you can think about is how badly you want to be a part of his world.

you glance at woonhak, and there’s a glint of something in his eyes, like he knows exactly what’s going through your mind. he catches your gaze and gives you a little nudge with his shoulder. “maybe you should talk to him after the set,” he says, his voice light, teasing.

you bite your lip. you want to say something, anything, but instead you just nod.

because the truth is, you’re terrified.

you’re terrified of what taesan might say. terrified of what might happen if you admit how you feel, how wrong everything has felt without him around, how much you’ve been hurting without the chance to make things right.

the set continues, and you find yourself caught in the music, in the connection between the band and the crowd. for the first time in forever, you feel like you belong. you feel like you could belong.

and when the music finally dies down and the crowd goes wild, cheering for an encore, you glance over at woonhak. he looks at you, then at taesan, and then back at you, his knowing grin widening.

“he’s waiting for you,” he says quietly.

you can’t breathe for a second, your heart thudding louder than the sound of the crowd.

you finally nod, the decision clear now, undeniable.

you’ve kept up appearances for too long. it’s time to stop running.

you push your way through the crowd, heading straight for the backstage area. you don’t look back. you don’t care who sees.

because, finally, you’re choosing him.

you can feel woonhak and leehan’s eyes on you as you make your way through the crowd. it’s like the air is thicker, charged with anticipation, but you don’t stop. your feet move on their own, pulling you toward the backstage area where the rest of BOYNEXTDOOR is winding down after the set.

the music fades behind you, but the echo of the bass still thrums in your chest. every step feels heavier than the last, but somehow, you don’t want to turn back. you’ve already made the decision, and now all that’s left is to face him.

taesan.

the backstage area feels quieter now that the excitement of the performance has died down. the crowd’s energy is still buzzing in the air, but it’s starting to feel distant, like an echo that doesn’t quite reach the calm of the space you’re standing in.

taesan’s there, still leaning against the wall with his guitar case by his side, but now there’s an air of distance about him. he barely looks at you when you enter. his attention drifts elsewhere, to the other band members, to anything but you.

your heart sinks at the coldness, the disappointment you see reflected in his posture. you want to go to him, to explain everything, to make it right, but you can’t. something’s stopping you. he’s clearly upset, maybe even mad, and you’re not sure how to fix it.

woonhak, the youngest, is still grinning over the fact that you’ve come here tonight. leehan, always the one to watch everything unfold with an amused look, exchanges a knowing glance with him. both of them seem to be aware of something that you aren’t yet, but you can’t quite place what.

the tension in the air is thick, and for a moment, you almost wish you hadn’t walked in here at all.

then, jaehyun breaks the silence.

“isn’t that y/n?”

he’s pointing at you with a raised eyebrow, clearly surprised to see you standing there. taesan’s wiping his face off with a towel, but his gaze never leaves you.

you freeze, a bit caught off guard by the attention. jaehyun, always so direct, seems more curious than anything. but his question lingers in the air, and all eyes are now on you.

you glance at taesan, but his expression is unreadable. his gaze is fixed on the ground, his body language telling you all you need to know: he’s not ready to engage, not yet.

“yeah,” leehan says, his tone teasing. “didn’t expect to see you here, y/n.”

you swallow, trying to steady yourself. “i wanted to see the performance,” you say, voice quiet, but clear. “i told you i would.”

you can’t tell if they believe you or not.

woonhak’s grin is still there, his eyes glinting with mischief. he looks between you and taesan, sensing the tension before anyone else. “yeah, sure,” he says, as if he knows something you don’t. “we all know how much taesan cares about you coming to the show.”

taesan doesn’t react, but you can feel his frustration simmering just beneath the surface. it’s impossible to ignore.

there’s a long pause, and in that moment, you wonder if you’ve made the wrong choice. if you shouldn’t have come, if you shouldn’t have tried to make things right, because it feels like taesan is shutting you out more with every passing second.

but then, just as you’re about to leave, something unexpected happens.

taesan looks up. just a glance, but it’s enough to make your heart skip. you meet his gaze, and for a moment, it feels like you’re the only two people in the room.

then, without a word, taesan walks past you, ignoring you as if you’re not even there. you can feel the sting of it, the weight of the unspoken disappointment in his actions. your chest tightens, and for a second, it feels like your feet are stuck in place.

you want to call out to him, to stop him, but you’re frozen. you don’t know what to say, don’t know how to make this right.

woonhak watches you, his grin still there but a little less playful now. he gives you a knowing look. it’s like he’s aware of the struggle inside you, aware of the way taesan is pulling away even though he knows you’re standing there

“he’s not mad at you,” woonhak says softly, catching your eye. “he’s just… not sure how to act around you, y/n.”

you don’t reply at first, still processing the way taesan ignored you, the way his distance felt like a rejection. but woonhak’s words sink in.

“he likes you,” leehan adds, his tone more serious now. “but he’s not good at showing it.”

the words hit you harder than you expect. they settle in your chest, a mix of confusion and longing. taesan likes you? it doesn’t feel like it, not when he won’t even look at you.

“why doesn’t he just... say it then?” you mumble, your voice barely above a whisper.

woonhak shrugs. “he’s still trying to figure it out, y/n. he doesn’t want to mess things up, especially when you’ve got so much going on with your friends and everything.”

you stare at him, your heart beating faster. you can’t deny it now. it’s clear that something is there between you and taesan. something you haven’t been able to admit to yourself until now.

and yet, despite everything, you can’t shake the feeling that you’re caught between two worlds. your friends, your reputation, and then taesan, someone you never expected to feel this strongly about.

“he’s scared, y/n,” leehan says, his voice quieter now. “he doesn’t want to be the reason you ruin your life.”

you look at taesan again, still standing off to the side, conversing with jaehyun, his face unreadable. his posture is stiff, almost like he’s bracing for something. maybe he’s bracing for you to walk away, for you to choose the people you’ve always been with instead of him.

you feel the weight of it all. the pull of your friends, the pressure of their expectations. and then there’s taesan, standing there, vulnerable in his own way, waiting for you to decide.

the silence between you two feels like it could last forever, and yet, it’s the moment you need to make the choice.

but you’re scared.

you don’t want to lose your friends, don’t want to mess up everything you’ve worked so hard for. but you also don’t want to lose taesan.

the choice weighs heavy on your chest, but you can’t stay frozen forever. you can’t keep ignoring what you feel.

and, maybe for the first time, you finally make a decision.

time to come clean.

the quiet hum of the room feels more suffocating than peaceful. you’re sitting on the edge of one of the couches backstage, fiddling with your phone aimlessly. it’s been a few minutes since taesan walked away, and you’re still left with this gnawing feeling that you could have done something different.

the members of BOYNEXTDOOR are scattered around the area, some talking amongst themselves, others sitting with instruments or music sheets in hand. it’s almost like nothing happened. but you know that’s not true. you can feel the weight of the tension hanging in the air, especially when you catch woonhak’s gaze across the room. he’s giving you a sympathetic smile, though it doesn’t make you feel much better.

you want to walk up to taesan, to explain everything, but you can’t. he’s still standing there, staring off into the distance, his arms crossed.

instead, you settle for hanging out with riwoo.

“you okay?” he asks, sitting next to you with a curious look. his voice is light, but there’s an edge of concern in it.

you nod, offering a tight smile. “yeah, just…” you trail off, unsure of how to explain what just happened. you don’t want to sound like you’re complaining about taesan. it’s not like you’re angry with him. in fact, you can’t even be angry with him when you’re just as confused.

“he’s hard to read, huh?” riwoo says, his voice calm but knowing. it’s like he’s read your mind.

you glance at him, surprised. “yeah. i don’t know what’s going on with him. it’s like, one minute, he’s all… well, taesan, and then the next, he’s distant. it’s frustrating.”

riwoo leans back on the couch, resting his head against the backrest as he watches the others in the room. “taesan’s always been like that. he’s not great with… emotions, you know?”

you blink at him, unsure where this conversation is headed. “so what, he just shuts people out?”

“basically,” riwoo says with a slight shrug. “he’s not really used to being honest about how he feels. but I think he does like you, y/n. he just doesn’t know how to show it without pushing you away.”

the words hit you like a freight train. taesan likes you? all this time, you’ve been so unsure of what he wanted, what he needed, and now it feels like it’s been right in front of you.

“but he’s been ignoring me…” you say quietly, almost to yourself.

“he doesn’t know how to deal with the fact that you’re... well, you’re you,” riwoo adds, his tone light but thoughtful. “you’ve got your own friends, your own reputation. taesan doesn’t want to mess that up for you. he’s scared of it, y’know?”

that was the second time it's come across you. taesan cares about your reputation, maybe more than you.

the pieces start to click together. you’ve been dancing around your feelings for taesan, unsure whether to admit them or not, and now it seems like he’s been doing the same thing. the difference is, you’ve been letting the fear of judgment hold you back. taesan’s fear is different. he’s afraid of losing you.

the realization makes you uneasy, but in a good way. there’s something so real about the way riwoo describes taesan, and for once, you can’t help but want to believe it.

just as you’re about to respond to riwoo's comment, woonhak appears, practically bouncing into the room. his eyes are wide, and there’s a mischievous grin on his face.

“you should go talk to taesan,” he says, the grin never leaving his face. “he’s still being stubborn, but I think he’s ready to listen.”

you frown. “how do you know?”

“because,” woonhak says with an exaggerated shrug, “he’s been pacing around like a lost puppy ever since you saw eachother.” he looks between you and riwoo. “and leehan’s not much better. he’s the one who convinced him to talk, so… yeah. go talk to him. he’ll listen... eventually.”

you want to tell woonhak you’re not ready, that you don’t know how to fix things with taesan, but something in the way woonhak says it makes you feel like you have to.

“just go for it,” riwoo says, giving you an encouraging nod. “you’ve got nothing to lose.”

you nod, though your heart is pounding in your chest. you stand up slowly, feeling a little out of place in the midst of all the quiet chaos around you. taesan’s still by the wall, his posture tense. you can tell he’s trying to convince himself that it’s fine, that everything is fine, convincing himself you’re just here for the music, just like the others.

but you know that’s not true.

he knows that's not true.

as you approach him, you hesitate for a second, unsure of what to say. but before you can even open your mouth, taesan speaks first, his voice low and a little defensive.

“you didn’t have to come, you know,” he says, not looking at you. his voice is almost too casual, as if he’s trying to brush off the seriousness of the moment. “I mean, this isn’t really your kind of music.”

you bite your lip, fighting the urge to just walk away. his words sting, but you know he’s just trying to protect himself.

“I came because I wanted to see you,” you say, your voice steady even though you’re terrified of how it sounds. “I didn’t come for the music, taesan. I came for you.”

there’s a long pause, and for a moment, you think you’ve said the wrong thing. but then taesan finally looks up at you, his eyes flickering with something you can’t quite place.

“you don’t have to pretend for me, y/n,” he says, his voice quieter now. “you don’t need to act like you like this stuff just to be around me. I get it.”

you shake your head, your heart racing. “I’m not pretending. I… I like you, taesan.”

taesan freezes, his expression softening slightly. he opens his mouth to say something, but the words get caught in his throat. instead, he exhales slowly, running a hand through his hair.

“you’re not just saying that because you’re here, right?” he asks, his voice uncertain.

“no,” you reply, taking a step closer. “I’m saying it because it’s true. I like you, taesan. I’ve liked you since you looked at me in the library, and I’m sorry I was too scared to admit it before.”

there’s a brief silence, and then taesan finally lets out a breath he seems to have been holding for a long time. his lips curl into a small, almost shy smile.

“you’ve always liked me?” he asks, his voice soft with a hint of disbelief.

“yeah,” you whisper. “I just… I was worried about what people would think. about what my friends would think.”

taesan’s expression softens even more, and he steps a little closer to you, his voice barely above a whisper. “you don’t have to choose, y/n. I never wanted you to. I just wanted you to be honest with yourself.”

you blink, surprised at how easy it is for him to say that. “honest with myself?”

“yeah,” he says, his voice low and steady now. “I just needed you to admit that you feel the same way about me. I didn’t want you to choose between me and your friends.”

you stare at him, feeling the weight of his words settle in your chest. it’s like a weight lifting off your shoulders, the tension you’ve carried with you for so long melting away.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, stepping closer. “I was scared.”

“it’s okay,” taesan says softly, his hand reaching for yours. “you don’t have to be anymore.”

and for the first time in a long time, you feel like everything’s finally making sense.

the moments following your confession feel like the longest stretch of time. taesan is standing in front of you, his presence almost suffocating, and for a split second, you’re unsure if he believes you. it’s the kind of silence that hangs in the air, thick and heavy, like it’s too much to fill with anything but the things unsaid.

taesan takes a step back, running a hand through his messy hair, his eyes not quite meeting yours. it’s clear he’s thinking hard about something, but what? you can’t tell. your heart is pounding in your chest, and a part of you is terrified you’ve said too much, too soon, but another part is relieved. you’ve finally admitted it. finally let the truth out into the open.

and then taesan looks at you, his gaze softer now, and you can see the conflict in his eyes. “you really do like me?” he asks, his voice still unsure but laced with something else. maybe hope? maybe fear?

you nod, your breath catching in your throat. “yeah. I do.”

there’s a long pause, and you watch him carefully. his hands are shoved deep in the pockets of his jacket, his lips pressed together as though he’s trying to figure out what to do next. you’re not sure if he’s angry, confused, or just processing everything, but you wait, giving him space to think it over.

“you should’ve told me sooner,” he mutters, more to himself than to you. “I’ve been waiting for you to admit it. but I guess I didn’t want to push you.”

you take a step closer, your heart fluttering nervously. “I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. I didn’t want to mess things up with my friends, you know? I’ve had this group for years, and I didn’t want to seem like I was changing everything just because of you.”

taesan’s eyes soften as he watches you, and he takes a deep breath, clearly trying to wrap his head around what you’re saying. “I get it,” he says quietly.

his words settle into you, and you realize for the first time that maybe taesan’s always understood more than you gave him credit for. he’s not asking you to give up your friends, and he’s not trying to pull you away from the life you’ve built.

“so… what happens now?” you ask, a little unsure of where to go from here.

taesan shrugs, the corners of his mouth twitching into a small, almost playful smile. “we figure it out. I’m not going anywhere, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

you breathe a sigh of relief, the weight on your shoulders finally lifting. you’ve said what needed to be said, and taesan isn’t pulling away. instead, he’s looking at you with a new understanding, and it makes your heart feel lighter than it has in a long time.

just then, you hear footsteps approaching, and you turn to see woonhak and leehan walking toward you, both of them wearing knowing grins. leehan gives you a teasing wink, while woonhak’s grin is a little wider, almost smug.

“well, well,” woonhak says, his voice loud enough for taesan to hear, “looks like someone’s finally come clean.”

you feel your face heat up, and taesan groans softly, running a hand through his hair again in that familiar frustrated gesture. “don’t start,” he mutters under his breath.

leehan raises an eyebrow, clearly not willing to let taesan off the hook. “we saw the whole thing. looks like y/n’s got the guts after all.”

you glance over at taesan, who’s still avoiding eye contact, and let out a soft laugh. “it wasn’t exactly how I planned it.”

“hey,” woonhak says, his tone suddenly much more serious. “we’re not here to mess with you two. but, for what it’s worth, I’m glad you told him.”

taesan looks up at him, his expression softening, though he still doesn’t seem to know how to react. “you guys were waiting for this to happen?”

“obviously,” leehan replies, flashing a grin at you. “we could see it coming from a mile away. it was just a matter of time.”

woonhak chuckles, crossing his arms over his chest. “honestly, I’m just glad y/n showed up at the concert. I knew you’d figure it out.” he looks at you with a smile that feels almost reassuring. “you were meant to be here, y/n. not just for the music.”

you can’t help but smile, feeling the warmth in woonhak’s words. it’s as if, for the first time, you realize that taesan and his friends aren’t the strangers you’ve built them up to be in your head. they’re people you can trust. and taesan… well, taesan is someone who’s been waiting for you to figure out what your heart really wants.

taesan doesn’t say anything right away. instead, he just looks at you, his gaze softening. there’s a hint of vulnerability in his eyes that you haven’t noticed before. he’s not the tough, unapproachable guy you assumed him to be. he’s someone who just needed you to meet him halfway.

“I guess it’s about time I stopped running from it,” taesan finally says, his voice quieter now, almost like he’s admitting something to himself. “I don’t want to lose you, y/n.”

you step closer, feeling the warmth of his words settle into your chest. for the first time in a long time, the uncertainty you’ve carried around fades, and you can finally breathe easy.

“I don’t want to lose you either, taesan,” you say, your voice steady.

taesan looks at you, and for a brief moment, there’s this look of understanding that passes between the two of you. he doesn’t need you to make a choice between him and your friends. he just needs you to be true to yourself.

“so,” leehan starts, breaking the silence with a grin. “what now? you two gonna kiss, or what?”

you and taesan both freeze, the air suddenly feeling thicker than ever. taesan blushes, his face turning a shade of red that matches yours, while woonhak laughs loudly, clearly amused by the awkwardness he’s just created.

“shut up, leehan,” taesan mutters, clearly embarrassed but secretly relieved.

you chuckle softly, feeling the warmth of his presence next to you. it’s a different kind of silence this time. comfortable. familiar.

“you know,” you say after a beat, your voice teasing, “I think we’ll figure it out.”

taesan looks at you, his smile finally breaking through the tension. “yeah. we will.”

and for the first time, you realize that maybe the hardest part wasn’t admitting your feelings. maybe the hardest part was just letting yourself be honest.

—

the weeks following your confession feel like an endless rollercoaster, full of highs and lows. at first, your friends, especially leeseo and hanbin, don’t take the news as well as you’d hoped. you knew it wouldn’t be easy, but you didn’t expect it to hit this hard.

when you first told them about taesan, about how you felt, the reactions were... well, less than ideal. leeseo had stared at you like you’d just announced you were leaving the country, and hanbin had seemed more confused than upset. but the hardest part was seeing the disappointment in their eyes.

it wasn’t that they didn’t care about you. in fact, it was the complete opposite. they cared about you so much that it was more that they couldn’t understand why you would want to throw away years of reputation you built up, for someone who, to them, was nothing more than a rebellious skater.

"are you really sure about this?" leeseo had asked, her voice quieter than usual, her expression tight with worry. "taesan… he’s not like us. he’s part of a different world. why risk it?"

hanbin hadn’t said much at first, just quietly watching, as if waiting for you to change your mind. but the uncertainty was there, hanging between you all, heavy and uncomfortable.

you had tried to explain it to them, tried to make them understand that this wasn’t just some fleeting crush or an act of rebellion. it was real. but they just couldn’t see it. not at first, anyway.

it hurt more than you cared to admit, seeing their disapproval. these were your friends. the people you’d known since childhood. and suddenly, it felt like you were standing on the edge of something, unsure whether to jump or pull back. the fear of losing them, of being alone in your decision, gnawed at you, but something deep inside you knew that you couldn’t keep pretending. you couldn’t keep hiding how you felt.

you just had to trust that the people who truly mattered would eventually see the truth in your actions. that they would come around and accept you for who you were becoming.

and in the end, they did.

it wasn’t immediate, but as time passed, leeseo and hanbin began to understand. it wasn’t about taesan being a skater or part of a different crowd. it wasn’t about the fact that he was in a band or that he lived a life they didn’t understand. it was about the way he made you feel seen, understood, and for the first time in a long time, happy.

"so, when are you bringing him to hang out?" leeseo had asked one afternoon, her voice teasing but genuine. "I want to see what the big deal is with this guy."

hanbin had smiled too, though there was still a hint of hesitation in his eyes. "yeah, he’s got to be something special for you to stick with it this long."

and that was when you realized they weren’t just accepting your decision. they were supporting it. and that, more than anything, was all you needed.

taesan, for his part, had been more than understanding. he’d known how hard it had been for you to get to this point, to finally let go of the mask you’d been wearing, the one that kept you safe in the comfort of your old life. but he never judged you for it.

he made sure you never regretted your decision, pulling you into his world with open arms.

he showed you his music, the songs that were both raw and beautiful, filled with emotions he couldn’t always express in words. you’d always been the academic type, focused on grades and assignments, but now you found yourself getting lost in the music, in the way taesan played his guitar with such passion, as if the notes were extensions of his very soul.

late-night skating became a regular part of your life, too. at first, you were hesitant, worried you’d embarrass yourself or make a fool of yourself in front of his friends. but taesan had a way of making you feel like you belonged. the others, woohak, leehan, riwoo, and jaehyun, had all accepted you with open arms. they didn’t care that you didn’t have the same history with skating that they did. they just cared that you were there, trying something new.

taesan would always smile, his gaze softening as he watched you push yourself, getting better each time. "you're doing great," he’d say, always encouraging, never dismissive. "just keep at it."

and the laughter, oh, the laughter. you had never known what it was like to be this carefree, to just let go and enjoy the moment. taesan had a way of pulling you into his world of easy-going fun, where everything seemed light and full of possibility. the worries that had once weighed you down melted away whenever you were with him.

one evening, after a long session of skating under the city lights, you sat together on the rooftop of a building, the wind blowing softly through your hair. taesan leaned back, his head resting on the edge of the roof, looking up at the stars.

"you know," he said, voice low and casual, "I never thought I’d find someone who’d get me this way."

you glance at him, feeling a smile tug at your lips. "what, you’re not that hard to get."

taesan laughs softly, turning his head to meet your gaze. "you’d be surprised. i mean, maybe when you're not putting up a front it might be different," he jokes,

you nod, understanding more than you ever had before. "yeah, I get that."

he smiles, that real smile of his that always makes your heart skip a beat.

it’s in moments like these that you realize just how much you’ve changed, how much you’ve grown since you met him. you stop worrying about what others think, stop pretending to be someone you’re not. the people who truly matter, the ones who care about you for who you really are, will always be there for you. and those are the people you need to focus on.

you’ve stopped hiding. you’ve stopped pretending. and now, with taesan by your side, you feel like you can face the world as yourself. no masks, no fear. just you and him, and whatever the future holds.

—

it’s been a few months since you stopped hiding, since you started living life as yourself, unashamed, and unafraid. taesan’s world has become your world, and yours became his. BOYNEXTDOOR has started gaining more traction, the band’s energy electrifying, pulling in more fans with every performance. it’s not just the music that’s drawing people in, though. it’s the rawness. the authenticity that the group radiates. and as they grow, so does your connection with them.

sungho, riwoo, jaehyun, leehan, and woonhak. each of them has become an important part of your life. you’ve spent so many late nights with them now, at shows and skateparks, in studios and cafés, and each moment feels more natural than the last. the guys have all grown to appreciate your company, your unguarded nature, your willingness to let go of the walls you once had up.

woonhak’s grin is constant whenever you’re around, and he’s never shy about throwing playful remarks your way. “you know, if you hang out with us more often, you might start getting better at skating. or maybe you’ll just get really good at cheering us on,” he teases, elbowing you gently as you both watch taesan show off his latest tricks at the skatepark.

you laugh, shaking your head. “I think I’m good with cheering for now.”

“yeah, yeah,” he says with a wink. “we’ll see.”

leehan, quieter than the others but equally as kind, has begun to open up to you more too. you find yourself in deep conversations with him after practice, talking about everything from music to fish, which makes you wonder why he has a huge interest in fish. he’s got a way of listening that makes you feel heard, truly heard, and it’s something you’ve come to value in a way you didn’t expect.

“you know,” leehan says one night as you sit beside him on the band’s tour bus, “sometimes, I think you understand us more than we give you credit for.”

you smile softly, a little surprised. “what do you mean?”

he shrugs, staring out of the window. “well, it’s just… you fit in, y’know? and I don’t think you’ve ever tried to be anything other than who you are. it’s refreshing.”

the compliment hits you harder than you expected, and you realize just how far you’ve come since that first day of being unsure about yourself, hiding in plain sight.

jaehyun, the loud and often mischievous member, is always up for a laugh. he’s started making jokes about you and taesan, though it’s never mean-spirited. “so, you two are still doing that whole ‘silent romance’ thing, huh?” he teases one afternoon as the band gathers for a quick break before the next performance.

you roll your eyes but can’t help the smile tugging at your lips. “we’re not silent, jaehyun. we just don’t broadcast everything.”

he raises an eyebrow, his grin mischievous. “uh-huh, sure. whatever you say.”

taesan, of course, just watches the back-and-forth with a small smile, his gaze soft. you’re starting to learn how to read him, how his eyes light up with affection and pride when he looks at you, even when he tries to hide it.

“you’re in trouble now,” riwoo adds from the side, glancing between you and taesan.

but there’s something deeper there in the way the group interacts now. it’s not just about the music or the laughs. they’ve truly embraced you as one of their own. you’re no longer just the outsider; you’re part of their family.

and you realize, as the weeks go by, that taesan’s music is beginning to reflect the change you’ve both undergone. he’s been writing more, pouring his heart into the lyrics, and it’s clear from the way he talks about the process that it’s more than just songs to him. it’s his way of expressing everything he’s ever wanted to say, but never could.

one day, as you sit in the studio, scribbling down some notes for your own personal project, taesan walks in, his usual calm demeanor now mixed with a hint of excitement.

“I finished something new,” he says, looking at you. “I want you to hear it.”

you raise an eyebrow, intrigued. “what’s it called?”

“it’s… well, it’s about us,” he explains, shifting a little nervously. “about how I felt when you finally stopped pretending you didn’t care.”

your heart skips a beat as you look up at him, but you don’t say anything. you just follow him to the music setup, where he starts fiddling with his guitar.

he strums the first few chords, and instantly, you know it’s something different. it’s raw and honest, with a touch of rebellion, the sound of someone finally coming into their own after fighting their own doubts.

(listen to sk8er boi during this part guys !!)

when the final chord rings out, the room is silent. you’re sitting there, stunned, unable to process the feelings swirling inside you. it’s a song about you, about how taesan has always been there, quietly waiting for you to see him for who he truly is

he looks at you, his expression soft, almost unsure. “do you like it?”

you can’t say anything at first. your throat feels tight, and there’s a lump in your chest that you can’t shake. finally, you nod. “taesan… it’s perfect.”

he smiles, though it’s shy, as if he’s relieved. “I’m glad.”

later that evening, you’re in the crowd at one of BOYNEXTDOOR’s shows, feeling the energy buzz around you. the crowd is loud, excited, the air electric with anticipation. the lights dim, and the first notes of a familiar tune fill the air.

you recognize the song immediately. it’s the one taesan wrote. and as he steps forward, microphone in hand, he scans the crowd, his gaze lingering on you for a brief moment. there’s no hiding the way his eyes soften when he spots you.

you stand there, in the middle of the crowd, heart racing, as taesan sings the song he wrote for you. the lyrics are even more powerful live, the music thrumming through your body.

woonhak, stands beside you after the set, noticing the way you were both looking at each other. he grins, making eye contact with leehan, who’s watching from the side. they share a knowing look, as if they’ve been expecting this moment all along.

“hey,” woonhak says quietly, elbowing you. “looks like someone’s got the spotlight.”

you can’t help the smile that spreads across your face. you’re finally here, in this moment, with taesan. no more hiding, no more pretending.

and as the final chords ring out, you know you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.

— ty for reading pookies :) —

~ fic taglist - @the0p

~ bnd taglist - @bxnedo

~ perm taglist - @s0shroe

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restlessmaknae · 2 months ago

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i'll be the moon // taesan

Taesan was most definitely not pining for you, he was just… curious. Curious about you, your opinion on their songs, your favourite flavoured milk, your favourite colour, the exact shade of your eyes from up-close… Wait, was that what pining for someone meant?

➳ Characters: Taesan x female reader/you

➳ Genre: high school au, rich kids au, slow burn (Taesan is down bad for Y/N, but she's oblivious at this point), fluff

➳ Words: 3.1k

➳ Warning: mentions of parental pressure, an argument

➳ A/N: Since you've voted for a Taesan POV chapter for 'i'll be the sun', here it is! This turned out to be more of a prequel story because 'i'll be the sun' picks up the storyline from senior year, but I hope you enjoy down bad!Taesan in this. 🤗

Check out the KOZ International High series masterpost!

It all started in sophomore year. At least, for Taesan, it did.

It was one of those very ordinary, very dull days at the very end of September, the chill of the October breeze already present in the air, the pressure of the upcoming tests looming above the students. Taesan, for one, didn’t care that much about academics. Even though he didn’t want to disappoint his parents and play with the money they paid just so he could study at one of the best international high schools in Asia, if not the world, he already knew that he didn’t want to be a lawyer or a doctor or a businessman like most of his classmates.

It was just difficult to break it down to his parents because when was there ever a right time for such a confession? Not to mention the awkwardness that seeped into his bones at the very thought of telling his parents that he wanted to do music. Not for fame, not for fans, not for money. For self-expression.

Besides, KOZ International High didn’t exactly favour musician wannabes. At least, not for now. However, seeing how you had set up a Maths club last year as the first freshman to do so, he felt encouraged. Maybe no one would want to join a music club, but he could give it a try. He just didn’t know how to do it, how to actually make a music club. So he turned to the only person who had actually created one (thanks for the idea to Leehan who had actually paid attention to such details in freshman year).

The problem was how to approach you, and make it seem like an innocent question, not a favour to ask or something he wanted you to help with as in ultimately being indebted to you. You already had a lot on your plate, he could tell. As opposed to him, you did well, you were neck-to-neck with the class president in terms of grades, you attended competitions, and you were also the head of the Maths club. He was constantly in awe at how you could function like a normal human being because it didn’t seem like there were enough hours in a day for his growing body’s sleeping needs, and he did a third of what you did within a day.

One afternoon, when your best friend, Selina, disappeared somewhere, and you were left alone at your table, Taesan took the chance to walk up to you. Then, he faltered, wondering how to actually get around to asking the question, but by the time he could come up with a plausible conversation starter, you had already looked at him, your head tilted in confusion.

“Can I help with anything, Taesan?” You inquired, and though your voice was void of any malice, he could tell just how odd this situation might have seemed to you. This was probably the first time Taesan willingly talked to a girl in his class, much less you.

“Uhm, yeah, the thing is…” He started, looking around once as if any of the students around cared enough to pay attention to you two. Needless to say, no one cared, so his secret would be safe with you, he hoped. “I want to create a music club like how you set up the Maths club last year, but I don’t know how to do it.”

Taesan couldn’t tell whether you were surprised or relieved to hear such words, but he could tell that you definitely didn’t expect him to blurt out something like that. Not that he could blame you, he couldn’t really flaunt his MCR shirts when he was forced to wear a uniform to school, and he didn’t really care much about classical musicians during Music class, so you couldn’t have known. It wasn’t something obvious like Anton’s swimming career.

“Oh sure, I can help you with that. There’s a form that you need to fill out, you also need to talk with the head of student services, and you need to book a room, preferably one of the music rooms in your case for the whole semester, but it’s all pretty straightforward,” you broke it down to him in one-go, and damn, was he impressed. He was completely speechless by the fact that you answered him in such detail, and that you even thought about the music rooms!

“I can send you the details via Kakaotalk if you want,” you added a bit later since he still didn’t speak up, just stood there by your table.

He pulled himself together and thanked you profoundly because it wasn’t even as bad as he had thought so. Quick and efficient, he was glad that there was no further interaction needed, but before he could go back to his seat, you spoke up again.

“I’m sure the music club will be a success, so don’t let the paperwork get you down,” you remarked with a gentle smile, and it was the first time Taesan’s heart skipped a beat due to a girl, and it wasn’t out of embarrassment.

“Thanks,” he mumbled with a probably very mismatched expression because he was partly surprised, partly touched and most definitely shy. You were the second person (after Leehan) he told about his aspirations, and even though you couldn’t have known about it, it meant a lot to him that you already believed in him and in his music club.

Sophomore year was spent focusing on music for Taesan.

Somewhere along the way, he also managed to blurt out to his parents that he created a music club because he wanted to do music – as in professionally. Though they were hesitant at first, they gave in to support his dreams if he studied well enough, so they made an ultimatum. As long as he had good enough grades, he could continue with the club and his aspirations, and he would go onto higher education to study music because if he had a certificate, he would have better career prospects. Knowing his parents, he knew that it was the best deal he could ask for, but he also knew that they wanted him to go onto university because they didn’t believe that his band would make it big.

He couldn’t blame them though. Even the recruitment for the music club was a pain in the ass because whilst Taesan wanted to make music, he didn’t want to sit through interviews with students who wanted to join the club and do all the paperwork that was needed. Initially, he almost failed to make it happen because at least five students were needed to create a club, and he only got four including himself – Yechan, Jungwon and Gyuvin. So to save him from the teenage angst of having his plans hijacked right at the beginning, Leehan signed up for the club, but he wasn’t there, only on paper.

To be honest, Taesan didn’t have a lot of choice, but to make a band with the boys who had signed up (voluntarily), but it worked out perfectly (it was ‘fate’ according to Yechan who liked to be overly dramatic with his words). There was Jungwon on the drums, Gyuvin on the synthesiser, and Yechan on the guitar alongside him. All of them could sing well, but the songwriting was mostly up to Taesan. Even choosing a name for themselves was easy because all other band names were… well… rather interesting. Take ‘Ketchup and Mustard’ (Gyuvin’s idea) or ‘KOZBOYZ’ (Yechan’s idea) for instance, so they went with one of Taesan’s ideas, and that’s how they became Insomnia.

Their first official gig was at the school’s Christmas gala which usually consisted of more and more boring speeches by the principal and head teachers regarding the school’s achievements and upcoming plans, students singing a Christmas song from their own country which took up most of the time and maybe a few dance performances that were actually fun. This time, Insomnia performed two of their songs as the ‘first band in the school’s history’, and even though they were a bit reluctant to do so because their songs were not exactly Christmas-friendly, it turned out to be much more of a success than they would have thought so.

Suddenly, students from other years knew their names and greeted them in the corridor, girls wanted to talk to them – including Taesan which terrified him at times –, and Yechan’s Youtube channel which originally documented his life at KOZ received so many questions regarding Insomnia that the boy decided to make a Youtube channel for the band itself. Soon, they started uploading covers and the followers poured in, even from non-students.

However, Taesan was curious about only one person’s opinion, but it would have been so awkward to go up to you and ask for it. What’s more, what if you thought that he was full of himself, and wanted to fish for compliments, from girls on top of it? Despite his newfound popularity with the band, he wasn’t interested in picking up girls, and it was enough for him to listen to his best friend who was completely head over heels for the class president. Taesan would be horrified if he were to say such things, let alone out loud.

“If you like her so much, why don’t you just tell her?” Taesan asked at one point, exasperated, because he was sure that he would rather poke his eyeballs with his chopsticks than to listen to his best friend go on and on about his crush’s beautiful eyes and the prettiest smile he had ever seen.

“Taesan, my friend,” Leehan leaned closer to him as if telling a secret, though in the busy canteen, he was sure that no one would hear them well if they weren’t eavesdropping in the first place. “You clearly don’t know anything about love. Love is all about timing.”

“As if you’re an expert or something,” he rolled his eyes and turned back to his half-empty food tray, his appetite gone. He grabbed the tray and walked to put his tray on the rolling cart nearby, only to almost bump into you and Selina on his way back.

“Oh sorry,” he mumbled, shooting an apologetic gaze in your direction. He would have probably completely disregarded your friend’s presence if she had not spoken up, her voice full of fury.

“Watch where you’re going, boy. Just because your band blew up doesn’t mean that this whole place is yours,” she exclaimed, totally uncalled for, but before he could react in any way, the girl stormed off.

You and Taesan both watched her go before your eyes met. You directed a forced smile at the boy, your eyes tired and telling stories that he wasn’t sure he could decipher.

“Sorry about that. She’s having a bad day today,” you justified feebly, but the boy wasn’t interested in the reasoning. Instead, he inquired, totally serious:

“Do you think I’ve changed because of the band?”

You were visibly taken aback by his question for a few seconds, your eyes furrowed in contemplation, but then you were quick to reassure him.

“No, I don’t think that you have. Not in a bad way, at least,” you let him know, and he could tell that you were genuine, you didn’t just say so to toot his horn. Before he could thank you for saying so, you excused yourself and followed Selina to a table.

Maybe this wasn’t the kind of opinion he was looking for, but it was still something, and he would take it over nothing at all.

Sophomore year gave him little to no chance to ask you about your opinion on the band, and junior year rolled by in no time. Insomnia had a performance at the ceremony for the opening of the school year, and his eyesight may be damned, but he couldn’t decipher your facial expression from the stage. He hoped you enjoyed it nevertheless.

Since Insomnia was now considered a somewhat serious band, Taesan didn’t have to go through the ordeal with the paperwork for the music club because they could rehearse in the music rooms as a band, and they didn’t break any rules over the 5-member threshold requirement for clubs. Now they were asked to perform at pretty much every school event, and Taesan enjoyed being busy with the band.

However, after a while, his band members became curious how he had come up with lyrics for their songs, and Yechan was very vocal about his curiosity.

“Dude, I know you say that you get inspiration from movies, books and such, but do you always engage with content where someone pines for the other, but doesn’t dare to confess?” The guitarist inquired once after particular practice, and suddenly, all eyes were on the leader of the band.

Taesan looked at all the boys one by one as if one would start laughing and say ‘you know what’ with a shrug, they can totally believe that Taesan is into such content. Instead, Gyuvin’s lips curled into a knowing smile, something that seemed pretty intimidating at times. Times like that exact moment.

“Wait! What if he’s the one who’s pining for someone?” He wiggled his eyebrows playfully, and Taesan’s defense mechanism kicked in immediately.

“What? No way! I don’t have time for girls.”

“You don’t have to have time for girls. Sometimes, it just happens along the way,” Yechan cooed, and Taesan seriously thought about committing crime and strangling either Yechan or Gyuvin on the spot. Or both of them.

What nonsense! He was most definitely not pining for you, he was just… curious. Curious about you, your opinion on their songs, your favourite flavoured milk, your favourite colour, the exact shade of your eyes from up-close…

Wait, was that what pining for someone meant?

“Leave him be. If it’s a girl at school, we’ll know about it sooner or later either way,” Jungwon shushed the boys, but there was a cunning smile in the corner of his lips, so the band leader wasn’t 100% reassured that they wouldn’t bring up the topic in the future.

They were right though. All of them knew that it was you he had been thinking about after the class trip during summer. He wished it hadn’t been that way, but he managed to walk in on Selina getting mad at you when he volunteered to let you and Selina know that they could come down to the bonfire which was set up on the last night of the trip.

He found the two girls in a corridor inside the hotel, and whilst Selina was with her back to him, he could see you clearly; how your usually calm and composed expression crumbled, how the bright light left your eyes, and he also caught sight of your hands shaking by your side.

“Why can’t you see that it’s been hurting me? You are such a terrible friend! You’ve never felt sorry for me even though I’ve always been a worse student than you. You are so smart, pretty and kind, but can’t you see that you make everyone feel insignificant beside you because of that? That’s why you had only me, because I thought I could tolerate that, but I can’t,” Selina bellowed, and it was just like the day she had gotten mad at Taesan. She could formulate the words so eloquently, the boy would have believed her because there was truth to her words, but since he knew what you were like, he knew that Selina was just being jealous. Instead of saying so, she masked her insecurity with jabbing at you.

Selina only realised that Taesan was there when she spun around and caught sight of him by the elevator. She let out a curse seeing him and ran down the stairs instead of calling the elevator. Taesan could have huffed at her, cursed at her or questioned her behaviour, but instead, he looked at you only.

He watched you take in his features that were free of any judgement, and maybe you hoped that he would just leave. But he couldn’t.

“Are you okay?” He inquired gently, quietly, but also a bit awkwardly because he had no idea if he had any right to ask you after what he had seen and heard. He couldn’t just leave without a word though. Maybe if you had been someone else, he could have willed himself to stay out of it, but you were you…

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you nodded after a few moments of silence, and it hurt for him to see you put on a smile for he knew it was anything but genuine. “What were you trying to say when you came upstairs?”

“Oh, the bonfire is ready. You can come down for dinner,” he responded matter-of-factly, and you thanked him for it in a similar way. He watched you walk away and take the stairs, the sound of your footsteps echoing in his mind for a long time even after you had left.

That’s why he kept gazing in your direction by the bonfire, and that’s why he decided to sit next to you on the bus the next day. He caught sight of Selina taking a seat beside Liv, and he could see that you watched the whole scene yourself. He made a lame excuse of having had enough of his friends’ chattering and didn’t want to speak to anyone during the upcoming bus ride. Then, he acted as if he didn’t see that you were the one whom he sat beside, and put his earphones in, pulling the hood of his oversized hoodie over his face, so that it could cover him while he was pretending to sleep.

In all honesty, he was just hoping that nobody would bother you after the night before, and you could rest a bit. He didn’t even do anything when you dozed off and your head landed on his shoulder. He wasn’t even sure that he would be able to do anything because it seemed just so right.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this story of mine! Let me know what you think! 😊

Click here for my BND masterlist!

If you want to read more stories of mine, let it be for BOYNEXTDOOR or for other artists, consider signing up for my taglist here. 🥰

Header taken from this WHY Concept Film.

Hope you have a lovely day/night! Take care! ❤️

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wontune · 2 months ago

Note

pode fazer algumas locks do taesan (boynextdoor) ?? obrigadaa

𝜗ৎ ♡ taesan ( boynextdoor ) lockscreens !

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lxvsiick · 5 months ago

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THE STARS ARE ALL ASLEEP | HAN TAESAN X READER

PAIRING: idol! han taesan x non!idol! fem! reader

SUMMARY: The loss and regret Taesan feels, trying to hold on to the memories of Y/n despite the pain

GENRE: angst, breakup, taesan is kinda an ass, imagine, short story

WORDCOUNT: 5.9k

A/N: ngl, did i procrastinate during my lecture to write this? yes . . . i wrote this after listening to 星星都睡了 by PPlin x Zhen Li -- I'm basically giving you guys song reccs to listen to -- the song is really good!... enjoy the story!

★🎸🎧⋆｡ °⋆

I can take care of myself, you don’t need to keep worrying about me.

I don’t smile anymore.

The clock on the wall ticked away the late hours of the evening as Y/n sat curled up on the couch, her legs tucked beneath her, staring blankly at the TV. She wasn’t really watching, her mind too preoccupied with the events of the day. Work had been a disaster. Her boss had been harsher than usual, throwing out unreasonable demands and critiques that left her feeling drained and upset.

She sighed, glancing at her phone. No messages from Taesan. It wasn’t unusual—he was busy, always on the go with rehearsals, interviews, and performances. Being a famous idol meant long hours and even longer nights. Still, they shared this apartment, and she always tried to stay awake to talk to him when he came home.

Her heart lifted slightly when she heard the soft jingle of keys at the door. The lock clicked, and Taesan stepped inside, his hood pulled low over his face, slumping with exhaustion as he kicked off his shoes. He barely glanced in her direction as he made his way into the living room.

She straightened up on the couch, hoping for just a moment of his attention. “Hey, you’re home,” she greeted softly, forcing a small smile. “How was your day?”

“Long,” he muttered, not meeting her eyes as he walked past, heading straight for the kitchen to grab a drink. His tone was flat, his movements sluggish.

Y/n watched him, her heart sinking. “I had the worst day today,” she said, trying again to start a conversation. “My boss was being such a—”

“Not now,” he interrupted, his voice edged with weariness as he leaned against the counter, rubbing his temples. “I’m tired. I don’t want to talk.”

She froze, the words hanging in the air between them, heavier than she expected. She had been waiting all day to tell him about what happened, hoping he would listen, hoping she could find some comfort in his presence. But his dismissal felt like a slap to the face.

Her throat tightened as she swallowed her emotions. “Oh,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “Okay.”

The silence stretched out uncomfortably as Taesan took a sip of his drink, still not looking at her. She tried to keep her disappointment from showing, but it was too late. The lump in her throat made it hard to speak, and the weight of the day, combined with his coldness, felt suffocating.

She stood up quietly, wrapping her arms around herself as if to shield against the sudden chill between them. “I’ll... leave you alone, then,” she murmured, backing away toward the bedroom. She didn’t wait for his response. He didn’t offer one.

As she turned, her steps slow and deliberate, her heart ached. This wasn’t how she imagined the night going. She had wanted to vent, to share her frustrations with the one person who mattered most to her. But now, she felt more alone than she had all day.

When she closed the bedroom door behind her, the click sounded louder than usual in the quiet apartment. She sat on the edge of the bed, staring at her hands, wondering if he even noticed how much she needed him right now.

Back in the living room, Taesan let out a deep sigh, closing his eyes as the weight of the day pressed down on him. He hadn’t meant to be so cold, but he was just too tired. Too tired to think, to listen, to be anything but worn out.

But in the silence that followed, something gnawed at him—a faint sense of guilt that he couldn’t quite shake, knowing she had wanted to talk, knowing she had needed him.

And he hadn’t been there.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

I don’t want to think about you all the time.

We tried our hardest to hurt everything between us, and now it’s impossible to repair.

The sun was beginning to set, casting a warm, orange glow over the city streets. Y/n sat on the bench at the bus stop, nervously checking her phone for what felt like the hundredth time. Her heart was filled with a mixture of excitement and impatience—today was supposed to be special. Their anniversary.

Taesan had promised to take her on a date after his interview, a rare moment in their hectic lives where they could celebrate together. She’d dressed up, her heart racing with anticipation, hoping for some time alone with him. But now, as the minutes dragged on, she couldn’t help but feel the growing sense of unease.

She scrolled through her phone again, the unanswered messages staring back at her: "Hey, interview over yet?" "Are you still coming?" "Let me know if you're running late."

No response. No calls. Nothing.

She sighed, biting her lip and glancing down the empty street. The buses came and went, passengers getting on and off, but there was still no sign of him. Her excitement slowly deflated into something more like dread.

A cold breeze picked up, and she pulled her jacket tighter around her. She couldn’t shake the feeling of being stood up, but that couldn’t be true, right? He wouldn’t just forget their anniversary. He wouldn’t break his promise to her.

In an attempt to distract herself, she opened her social media, scrolling absentmindedly through the feed. That’s when she saw it—a post from a fan page featuring Taesan and his group at some event. There he was, smiling and laughing with his bandmates, dressed in an outfit far too formal for just an interview.

Her heart sank. The caption beneath the photo read, "Surprise appearance at the event! BOYNEXTDOOR looking dashing as always."

She stared at the screen, the image of him so happy, so carefree. She felt a knot twist in her chest, anger and sadness mixing together. He wasn’t just late—he had gone somewhere else entirely, without even telling her. He had time for an event but not for their anniversary.

Her fingers hovered over the phone, wanting to call him again, but she knew it wouldn’t change anything. He wasn’t coming.

With a heavy sigh, she stood up, her heart feeling heavier than her feet as she trudged back toward their apartment. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, but she ignored it, knowing it wasn’t from him.

The walk back felt longer than usual, her mind replaying the excitement she’d felt that morning—how she’d looked forward to tonight, how she’d thought this anniversary would be a rare moment where they could be like any other couple. But instead, she was left alone, walking home in the dim light, her hands stuffed in her pockets to keep warm.

Finally, she reached the front door of their apartment building. Pausing for a moment, she glanced back at the empty street, a small part of her still hoping to see him running toward her, apologizing for being late. But the street remained empty, quiet, just like the unanswered messages on her phone.

With a deep breath, she entered the building and climbed the stairs to their apartment. As she unlocked the door and stepped inside, the stillness of the apartment felt colder than the air outside. No flowers, no candles, no sign that today was any different from any other day.

She sank onto the couch, staring blankly at the wall, the weight of disappointment settling in her chest like a stone. All she wanted was to be with him, to feel like she mattered, like they mattered. But tonight, she felt more alone than ever.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

You never cared about trying to get my forgiveness.

Don’t let us be covered in scars.

The apartment was quiet, save for the soft hum of the city outside. Y/n sat on the couch, her knees pulled to her chest, hugging a small black cat stuffed animal that Taesan had won for her on one of their early dates. Her eyes were red-rimmed, tears brimming but not falling. She stared blankly at her phone, an article open on the screen, the words blurring in front of her.

The jingle of keys at the door signaled his arrival. The door creaked open, and Taesan stepped in, exhaustion heavy in his posture. He looked worn from the day, his hair disheveled, still in his stage clothes. He let out a deep sigh as he kicked off his shoes, glancing toward her, not immediately noticing the tension in the air.

"Hey," he mumbled, running a hand through his hair. "I'm home."

Y/n didn’t respond, her gaze locked on him, her lips pressed into a thin line as she clutched the stuffed animal tighter. Her chest ached with the weight of everything unsaid.

He finally noticed her silence, his eyes narrowing in concern. "What’s wrong?" he asked, his voice more annoyed than gentle. He was too tired for this—whatever this was.

She didn’t speak at first, just held out her phone toward him, the screen illuminating her tear-filled eyes. He frowned, walking over to take it from her hand. When he looked at the screen, his expression immediately shifted.

It was a news article—another baseless rumor. His name splashed across the headline alongside another female idol, the two of them speculated to be in a relationship. There were photos from a backstage event, carefully cropped and captioned to imply intimacy where none existed.

He groaned, already dreading the conversation. "You’ve got to be kidding me," he muttered under his breath, tossing the phone onto the coffee table.

"Is this why you’re never around anymore?" Y/n finally spoke, her voice small but laced with hurt. Her eyes, shining with unshed tears, held a mixture of frustration, sadness, and fear. "Because of her?"

His jaw clenched, frustration quickly overtaking his fatigue. "What? No. It’s just a rumor," he snapped, throwing his hands up. "You really believe that crap? I told you not to pay attention to those things."

"But you’re never here anymore!" Her voice cracked as she stood up, still hugging the stuffed cat to her chest. "You’re always too busy, too tired, or too... distant. And then I see this and—" She broke off, shaking her head, tears spilling over now. "How am I supposed to feel? Am I supposed to just ignore it when you’re gone all the time?"

"I’m working!" he fired back, the anger rising in his chest. "I’m busting my ass for this career, for us—but you’re here, worried about some stupid tabloid story? Where’s the trust?"

"Trust?" she repeated, incredulous. "How can I trust you when you don’t even talk to me anymore? When you don’t make time for me at all? Do you even care about this relationship?"

Her words cut deep, but his frustration was too overwhelming to process the hurt beneath them. "Of course I care! But you’re suffocating me with all these doubts. Every time I come home, it’s something like this. You worry too much."

"I worry because I care!" Her voice broke, raw with emotion. "Because I love you, and I feel like I’m losing you—like you’re slipping away and I can’t do anything about it."

The silence that followed was deafening. They stood there, staring at each other, both breathing heavily from the intensity of the argument.

Taesan rubbed his temples, his voice lowering but still tense. "This is ridiculous. It’s just a rumor. I’m tired, and I don’t want to do this right now."

"You never want to do this," she whispered, her voice barely audible. She wiped her tears with the back of her hand, her chest heaving as she tried to control the sobs threatening to spill over. "Fine."

With a quiet, bitter laugh, she turned and walked toward their bedroom. "I’m done with this conversation. Go sleep at your dorm or wherever it is you’d rather be."

His eyes followed her as she disappeared down the hallway, her door closing softly behind her, though the emotional slam still reverberated through him.

He stood there for a long moment, his anger simmering down into guilt, exhaustion pulling at him from all sides. He didn’t want to fight, but it always seemed to end up this way. They always ended up like this—torn apart by his career, by misunderstandings, by everything he didn’t have time to fix.

With a heavy sigh, Taesan grabbed his jacket and keys, heading back toward the door. The silence of the apartment felt unbearable now.

As he stepped out into the cold night air, he shoved his hands into his pockets and walked toward his group’s dorm, his mind filled with everything left unsaid, wondering how they had come to this.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

When the stars in the sky all sleep, I feel so dark, my body feels inexplicably cold

The night air was heavy, thick with a silence that seemed to press down on everything. The small park near their apartment was a place once filled with memories—their late-night walks, quiet conversations, stolen moments—but now it felt distant, like something from another lifetime.

Taesan stood at the edge of the path, hands shoved deep into his pockets, his breath visible in the cool air. He hadn’t been back here in weeks, not since he’d started staying at his group’s dorm. It felt strange now, almost foreign.

His eyes shifted as he saw Y/n approaching slowly from the other side of the park. His heart clenched at the sight of her, though he couldn’t quite place why. She looked…different. Her face was pale, her eyes hollow, the dark bags beneath them evident even in the dim light. The spark, the warmth he always loved in her eyes, was gone. She looked like someone who had been carrying the weight of the world for too long.

She stopped a few steps away from him, the space between them feeling like a chasm.

“What did you want to talk about?” he asked, his voice quiet but carrying an edge of tension. He already had a sinking feeling in his chest, but he wasn’t ready to confront it.

Y/n looked at him for a long moment, her lips parting as if to speak, but no words came out at first. She shifted her weight, wrapping her arms around herself like she was trying to hold herself together.

"I’m tired," she finally said, her voice flat, void of emotion. "I’m tired of waiting for you. Of waiting for us to feel like it used to." Her eyes met his, and the emptiness in them hit him like a punch to the gut. "I can’t keep doing this."

His heart stuttered in his chest, but he didn’t say anything. He just stared at her, trying to process her words, hoping this wasn’t what he thought it was.

“I’m done,” she continued, her voice firmer this time, as if she had rehearsed these words over and over in her head before finally saying them. “I don’t want to have to keep waiting on you, waiting for something to change. I feel like I’m always waiting.”

The silence between them was unbearable now, but he couldn’t find the right words to say. His throat felt tight, like any response he tried to form would only come out broken.

She wasn’t crying—there were no tears. She wasn’t angry. Just…done. It made it worse somehow. He would’ve preferred her to scream at him, to be angry, to throw something, but this quiet resignation was shattering him in a way he hadn’t expected.

“You’re not the same,” she whispered, her voice barely audible but sharp enough to cut through the air between them. "I don’t recognize you anymore. And I know you’re tired too. Tired of me, of this... You don’t need to say it. I can see it every time you walk out the door and don’t come back until late or not at all."

He wanted to protest, to tell her she was wrong, that things could be different, but the words wouldn’t come. Maybe because a part of him knew she was right. He hadn’t been present—not really. His career had consumed him, and in the process, he had let her slip away. He let them slip away.

She let out a shaky breath, her eyes momentarily glancing down at the ground before meeting his gaze again. "I loved you," she said softly. "I still do, but I can’t keep holding onto something that’s already gone."

His chest tightened painfully, and he took a small step forward, as if to reach for her, but stopped himself. He didn’t know how to fix this. He didn’t even know if he could.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, though it was unclear if she was apologizing to him or to herself.

And then, she turned around, her figure illuminated only by the faint glow of the park’s streetlights. She didn’t run. She didn’t storm off. She just walked away, her back to him, her shoulders slightly hunched as if the weight of everything was too much to bear.

He stood there, frozen in place, his heart breaking with every step she took. His mouth opened, but no words came out. He could only watch as she walked further and further away, her silhouette fading into the distance until she was nothing more than a distant memory in the night.

The cold settled into his bones, but he didn’t move. He couldn’t. He felt numb, like everything inside him had shattered and there was nothing left but the aching emptiness where she used to be. The night stretched on, and the only sound that filled the silence was the faint rustling of leaves in the wind, as the world around him continued on, unaware that his had just fallen apart.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

I don’t need the hottest and best car.

I don’t need to be the best pop star.

I want to express myself, but I messed up.

What’s there to lose! My heart’s already half empty.

The studio’s lights were harsh, reflecting off the mirrors that lined the walls. The steady beat of the music thumped through the room, filling the space with energy, but Taesan’s movements felt sluggish, disconnected from the rhythm. He was usually so precise, so in sync with the choreography, but today he couldn’t seem to get it right.

"Again," the instructor called out, clapping their hands sharply, frustration seeping into their voice. "You’re off, Taesan. Focus."

He nodded, wiping the sweat from his brow, though it felt like the sweat wasn’t the problem—it was the weight pressing on his chest. They started the routine again, but halfway through, his steps faltered. His foot missed the mark, his body off-beat. He felt his group members glance at him in concern, but he kept his head down, trying to push through.

"Stop!" the instructor barked, cutting the music abruptly. "Take five. Taesan, get it together."

He didn’t respond, just stood there, panting, his hands on his knees. The others slowly moved to the sides of the room to grab water or stretch. Taesan didn’t move. His mind was spinning, but not about the dance. His thoughts kept drifting to her—Y/n. The look on her face when she walked away, the sound of her voice when she said she was done, the quiet resignation in her eyes. It haunted him.

It was all he could think about.

He pressed his palms against his eyes, trying to clear his head, but it was no use. The more he tried to shake it off, the more the memories flooded back. The last argument, the tension that had been building for months, how he had shrugged her off when she needed him most.

“Hey, man. You good?” Jaehyun asked, cautiously approaching him with a bottle of water in hand.

Taesan shook his head slightly, forcing a deep breath. “I’m fine,” he muttered, though the tightness in his voice said otherwise.

“You’re not,” Leehan said bluntly, walking over with the rest of the group. "You’ve been off all day. What’s going on?"

He opened his mouth to respond with something dismissive, something to brush them off like he always did when things got too personal, but this time, he couldn’t. His chest ached too much. The guilt, the regret—it was all bubbling up inside him, and he couldn’t keep it down any longer.

“I—” His voice cracked, and he quickly looked away, swallowing hard. He hated this. Hated feeling this vulnerable, especially in front of them.

His group members exchanged glances, clearly worried.

“I miss her,” he finally whispered, barely audible.

“What?” Riwoo leaned in closer, frowning.

“I miss her,” he repeated, louder this time, though his voice wavered. “I miss Y/n… so much.”

The room fell into a heavy silence, the usual energy drained as his words settled in.

“I screwed up,” he said, his hands trembling slightly as he raked them through his hair. “I didn’t realize what I had until she was gone. And now—” He paused, his throat tightening, the memories of their breakup flashing in his mind. “Now it’s too late. I hurt her, I wasn’t there when she needed me, and she left. I don’t blame her.”

His eyes burned, but he refused to let the tears fall. Not here. Not in front of them.

“I regret everything,” he admitted, his voice strained, raw. “Everything that led to us falling apart. I pushed her away, I was so wrapped up in my own life that I didn’t see how much I was losing her.” His hand clenched into a fist. "I thought I could balance everything, but… I couldn’t. I failed her.”

His group members stood in stunned silence. Taesan was always the one who kept things together, the one who didn’t let his emotions get the better of him. Seeing him like this, so vulnerable, so broken, was a shock.

“I don’t know how to fix it,” he continued, his voice barely above a whisper now. “I don’t think I can. She’s done with me, and I can’t blame her. I’ve been a terrible boyfriend… and a terrible person.”

Sungho stepped closer, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, man, don’t say that.”

“It’s the truth,” he said bitterly, looking down at the floor. “I still love her. I never stopped. But she’s gone, and it’s all my fault.”

“You’re human, Taesan hyung,” Woonhak said, his tone gentle. “People make mistakes.”

“Not like this,” Taesan muttered, shaking his head. “She waited for me. She was patient, and I took her for granted. I should’ve been there for her.”

His group members shared worried glances, unsure of what to say. They had never seen him like this—so lost, so regretful.

“It’s not too late,” Jaehyun offered hesitantly. “You can still reach out to her, talk to her—”

“She’s done with me,” Taesan interrupted, his voice flat. “She said she’s tired of waiting, and I can’t blame her. I would’ve left me too.”

He slumped down onto the floor, leaning against the mirrored wall, his head in his hands. The silence stretched on for what felt like forever, the only sound being the faint hum of the air conditioning in the studio.

His group members sat down around him, unsure of how to help, but unwilling to leave him alone. They could see how much pain he was in, and it hurt to see their usually composed, confident friend in pieces like this.

“I’m sorry,” Taesan whispered again, more to himself than anyone else. "I’m so sorry, Y/n."

And for the first time in a long time, he let the tears fall.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

Through the whole night, you’re no longer in my sight.

Maybe everyone feels the same, but time goes by too fast.

The air backstage was charged with excitement, a low hum of activity as the staff rushed around making final preparations. Taesan sat quietly in a corner, his hands resting on his lap, staring at the floor as the muffled cheers of the crowd reached his ears. The energy of the arena was palpable, but inside, he felt a familiar weight pressing down on his chest.

It had been a few months since the breakup. Since the day she’d said she was done. He hadn’t realized how hard it would hit him—how much he’d miss her. Even now, the thought of her still tugged at his heart, the hurt still raw even though time had passed.

"Taesan, you good?" Sungho asked, breaking through his thoughts as they finished a huddle nearby.

He glanced up, forcing a small smile. "Yeah, I’m fine."

They’d asked him that a lot lately, and every time he said the same thing. He had to be fine. He had no other choice. Being an idol meant putting on a perfect face, no matter what was going on behind the scenes. It was all part of the job, and he owed it to his fans to give them everything he had. But the truth was, no matter how much time passed, she never really left his mind.

A staff member approached, headset in place, clipboard in hand. "Five minutes until showtime."

His group gave a collective nod, standing up to stretch and prepare. Taesan rose to his feet, brushing off his outfit, and took a deep breath. He could feel the adrenaline starting to build, the anticipation of the stage waiting for him. This was his world now—his stage, his music, his fans. He had to focus on that.

But as his mind drifted back to her—her smile, the sound of her laugh, the way she used to wait up for him—his chest tightened again. The ache that hadn’t fully healed throbbed beneath the surface, a constant reminder of what he’d lost.

"Focus," he whispered to himself, closing his eyes for a moment. He couldn’t let this affect him now. Not here. Not when the world was watching.

The fans were already screaming, chanting their names, and he knew the second he stepped onto that stage, he had to be the idol they all adored—the one who smiled for them, who gave them his all, no matter what was happening in his personal life.

A deep breath. He opened his eyes as the staff gave the signal.

“It’s time,” one of his group members said, nudging him gently. "Let’s go."

He nodded, shaking off the last traces of his wandering thoughts. Putting on his best smile—the smile that had charmed millions—he stepped in line with his group as they prepared to walk onto the stage.

The music swelled through the speakers, and the moment the curtains parted, a wave of sound crashed over them. The roar of the crowd, the flashing lights, the sea of fans waving lightsticks—it was everything he’d worked for, everything he loved.

He couldn’t let them down.

As they walked out, the fans’ cheers grew louder, the energy electric. He felt it surge through him, pushing the heaviness of his emotions to the back of his mind. The stage was where he belonged, and for now, that had to be enough.

But even as he smiled, danced, and sang, giving his all to the performance, a part of him still carried her with him—her memory, her absence. He knew he had to move on, but it wasn’t that simple. She had been a part of him for so long, and the love he had for her didn’t just disappear. He was still learning how to live with that ache.

As the music thumped in his ears and the fans sang along to every word, he forced himself to be present, to let the performance carry him. But every now and then, between the beats, he could feel her shadow lingering in the back of his mind.

And when the concert was over, and the adrenaline faded, he knew she’d be there waiting in the back of his mind—just as she always had been.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

Finally, the wounds have scabbed over, but am I still thinking about it?

The room was dimly lit by the slivers of moonlight that slipped through the half-drawn blinds. The quiet hum of the air conditioner was the only sound breaking the silence of the night. Taesan lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling with a contemplative expression. The shadows cast by the moonlight danced across the walls, but his focus remained on the blank expanse above him.

He was in his shared dorm room with Woonhak, who was already fast asleep, snoring softly. Taesan had been lying awake for hours, his mind racing through thoughts he couldn’t seem to quiet.

It had been five months since the breakup. He had made significant progress—he wasn’t as heartbroken as he once was, and his days were filled with the busyness of his idol life. But despite all that, thoughts of Y/n still occupied a corner of his mind.

He wondered about her often. What was she doing now? Was she happier without him? Was she moving on with her life, creating new memories, and finding joy in things that didn’t include him? The questions lingered, and even though he tried to push them away, they always seemed to return.

He remembered their last conversation, the look in her eyes when she had ended things. It wasn’t anger or resentment but a calm, resolute sadness. He had always wished he could go back and fix things, do better, be the person she deserved.

Turning his head slightly, he glanced over at the small bedside clock—it was well past midnight. He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he shifted uncomfortably. The ache of missing her wasn’t as sharp as it once was, but it was still there, a gentle, persistent throb that reminded him of the love they had shared.

He recalled the little moments they had—walking in the park, sharing secrets, the way she used to laugh at his jokes, the sparkle in her eyes when she listened to his songs. Those memories were bittersweet now, tinged with the sadness of knowing that those times were in the past.

He wondered if she ever thought about him. Did she ever look back and remember the good times? Did she ever miss him, even just a little? The curiosity gnawed at him, but he didn’t have any answers. He had made the decision to give her space, to let her heal and move on, but it didn’t make the longing any easier.

He closed his eyes, imagining what it would be like to see her again, to talk to her, to hear her voice. He hoped that wherever she was, she was happy. He hoped she had found the peace and joy that they both deserved.

As he lay there, the weight of his thoughts became a little heavier. He had learned to live with the separation, to accept it as part of his journey, but that didn’t mean it was easy. The nights like these were the hardest—when the world was quiet, and the only thing he had was the memory of what once was.

Eventually, he forced himself to turn away from the ceiling, pulling the covers closer as he tried to settle into a more comfortable position. It was a futile attempt to silence his racing mind, but he knew that some things would take time to fully resolve.

For now, he would focus on his work, on the present, and try to hold onto the hope that things would get better. And maybe, just maybe, someday he would get the closure he needed. Until then, he would carry on, living his life while cherishing the memories of what they once had.

He finally drifted off to sleep, the thoughts of her slowly fading into the background, though never completely out of reach.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

I realize I can live without you, but I once decided to grow old with you.

How much loneliness and struggle remain pierced in my heart.

The crisp autumn air was cool against his skin as Taesan and his group members strolled down the street. Their faces were concealed behind masks and sunglasses, a necessary precaution to avoid being recognized. Despite their disguises, the atmosphere was relaxed, and they enjoyed the rare chance to go out incognito.

They chatted casually, their conversation punctuated by laughter as they approached a quaint café they had heard good things about. The cozy little place had a warm glow that contrasted with the chilly evening air.

As they reached the entrance, Taesan was the last to go inside. Just as he was about to cross the threshold, the door swung open and someone bumped into him.

Startled, he looked down, his heart skipping a beat when he saw who it was.

It was her. Y/n.

She looked different—brighter, happier. Her hair was shorter, framing her face in a way that seemed to enhance her natural beauty. And her eyes—those eyes that used to be so full of sadness—were now sparkling with a joy he hadn’t seen in a long time.

They locked eyes for a split second, and he felt a pang of something he couldn’t quite place—hope, regret, longing. He stood frozen, caught between the urge to speak and the overwhelming surge of emotions.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” she exclaimed, her voice warm and apologetic as she quickly stepped back. She didn’t seem to recognize him, her focus more on the minor collision than on the person she bumped into.

“No problem,” he managed to say, his voice barely above a whisper.

She flashed him a quick, polite smile before turning and walking away, her figure gradually diminishing as she moved down the street.

Taesan stood there, watching her retreat, his heart pounding. The moment felt surreal—seeing her like this, so changed, so content. It was as if the universe had given him one more chance to make things right, and he wasn’t sure if he should let it slip away.

“Hey, what’s taking you so long?” Riwoo called out from inside the café. “Let’s go!”

Still reeling from the encounter, Taesan snapped back to reality. He turned towards the café, where his friends waited, but something inside him urged him to follow her—to find out if this new version of her was truly as happy as she seemed.

Without a word, he pulled his mask and glasses off and turned on his heel, rushing out of the café. His group members called after him, confusion evident in their voices, but he ignored them, his focus entirely on the woman who had just walked away.

He sprinted down the street, glancing around, his heart racing as he searched for any sign of her. The sight of her figure, walking away with a spring in her step, seemed to guide him forward, pushing him to bridge the gap that had grown between them.

Every step felt heavy with anticipation, each breath a mix of excitement and anxiety. He didn’t know what he’d say or what he hoped to find, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that this was a chance he couldn’t let slip by.

Finally, he spotted her again, standing on the corner, waiting for a bus. With a deep breath, he approached, trying to steady his racing heart.

“Y/n!” he called out, trying to keep his voice calm and steady.

She turned, a look of surprise crossing her face as she recognized the urgency in his voice. Her eyes widened as they met his, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still. Everything around them seemed to disappear and it was only them there. Y/n’s look of surprise turns into a smile, her sparkling eyes meeting him.

“Hi.”

★🎸🎧⋆｡ °⋆

PART TWO VER.1 -- VER.2 | MASTERLIST

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gluion · 4 months ago

Text

places we won’t walk — taesan

han taesan x reader

genre & warnings — smau, exes, angst, fluff, slight crack, an undeniable down-bad-in-the-trenches reader paired with an emotionally constipated taesan who both cannot move on, switching between past and present conversations, pov switching notes — gluion smau writer debut? (i was known to write smau on twt LMFAO) anyway, going an angst smau to keep me alive as i write zb1 tbou. as always, reblogs and feedback are appreciated!

started: november 8, 2024, updates sporadic ended: tba request to be part of the taglist! masterlist

synopsis — although you and taesan try to stay civil with each other, there’s undeniable tension between you two in every conversation. and somehow, you remember why it's not advised to date someone in the same friendgroup as you.

(or in other words, the conversations you and taesan shared since the break up.)

profiles — the three bears and the struggling artists

prologue — the night it happened chapter i — cat’s out of the bag chapter ii — curiosity didn’t give a chance to kill the cat chapter iii — a type of unknown faith chapter iv — does the bear hate the cat? chapter v — the cat still cares chapter vi —

more coming soon

networks taglist: @kflixnet @k-labels @blankjournal @onedoornet @kstrucknet

story tag list: @tkooooop @prettyange1 @zynz0 @love-4-keum @taylorluvation

@vernyangel @cherrytaesan @prettiann @kaiyunsim @wonshuasdandan

@tsanho @cecemars @blooqz @mimimimiaa

#works of moni #onedoornet #kflixnet #bjnet #k-labels #kstrucknet #boynextdoor #taesan #taesan x reader #taesan angst #boynextdoor x reader #taesan imagines #boynextdoor imagines #boynextdoor angst #han dongmin #taesan boynextdoor

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xzinbdg · 14 days ago

Text

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ﾟ。 soft launch with taesan!

　ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

boynextdoor masterlist ᢉ𐭩 main masterlist

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taesanrot · 9 months ago

Text

[moved on] fwb!taesan x f!reader | 0.7k words shorter drabble inspired by the song moved on by laundry day!

my heart is saying things my mind just cannot speak ... i don't know what is wrong with me

taesan was an avoidant. he was good at ignoring things, pushing away the elephant in the room and pretending he doesn't care, that it couldn't bother him any less. he was good at ignoring the way your glances at him grew longer and fonder. he was even better at ignoring the way your doe eyes and soft hair made his heart race and stomach turn.

i'm clinging onto you just like i cannot breathe ... i don't know what is wrong with me

he knew it hurt you and he hated himself for it. you two had agreed to keep things between the two of you casual, seeking comfort in each others' touch in the late hours of the weekend and barely speaking the days in between. at the time it started, taesan's fleeting presence filled you up, bringing you out of the emotional trenches school had sent you into.

maybе I'm the problem saying this is alright ... am i coming on too strong?

that was your first mistake -- you should've known you were setting yourself up for failure right then and there. letting the raven haired boy light up your day with a simple stroke of his hand against your cheek; your heart never stood a chance against the curse of time.

please make sure you call, just to say it's alright ... am i waking you all night?

as the days passed, it was taesan who became the reason you ached on late nights. staring at your still unread message, you wondered why things were like this. the boy's actions twisted your mind in ways he'd never know. at times like this your mind flashed back to the way he was after the sun had set, when it was just the two of you in your own world.

we get together but things might just be better if we moved on

the way his warm lips felt against your neck, the way his fingers burned into your skin, it was all imprinted on your mind. the moments you two shared felt so intimate, and they replayed in your mind over and over like a broken record.

turning around under your heavy blanket for the tenth time that night, you screwed your eyes shut as more and more memories invaded your mind and dreams.

the two of you had been watching a movie, your head laying on his chest and his hand rubbing your shoulder softly. eyes trained on your laptop, you almost missed taesan’s face in your peripheral vision, peeking over at you. he had a habit of doing this — you always assumed he was simply checking if you were awake. you always stayed silent, just smiling and blinking delicately at him.

“i’m awake, san” you don’t know what made you blurt out defensively, but taesan shook his head softly at your words.

“i know, i was just looking at you.” your stomach still turns at the thought of the smile he was adorning as those words fell from his pretty lips.

his fond smile only looked wicked to you now, his words singing your skin and burning your resolve. how could he say all of that without feeling a single thing? you thought to yourself bitterly.

am i giving you up? ... changing seasons, can't believe it now i'm leaving you

sometimes taesan too thought he was insane. it stung to think about the sweet things he'd said or done to you -- it scared him how he meant it all completely. the boy didn't know what was wrong with him, why he couldn't just let the two of you be happy and togehter. he felt like a speed bump in the road, stubbornly and selfishly guarding his heart at the expense of your fragile mind.

hindsight is 20/20, and sitting alone in his cold and you-less bed, taesan knows what he should've done and said to you, what was staring him in the face this whole time. he was utterly in love with you and he didn't even realize.

bitterly, he pulls his phone out of his pocket and reads over your last text to him again.

[2:47 a.m]

y/n: i can't keep doing this anymore. i'm sorry, let's stop seeing each other.

you have been blocked by this number!

#han taesan #han dongmin #han taesan x reader #taesan fluff #taesan x reader #taesan smut #taesan #bnd fics #bnd smut #bnd imagines #boynextdoor #taesan imagines #taesan boynextdoor #bnd fluff #bnd x reader #boynextdoor x reader #taesan angst #bnd angst #boynextdoor angst

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unhakzlvr · 7 months ago

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── 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐍𝐀𝐏𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒 | han taesan

SYNOPSIS: You hate Taesan. You hate his stupid hair, his stupid laugh, his stupid band, and his stupid attitude. Of course you didn't always think this way, when he first approached you to help him advertise his band you were more than happy to help out considering the fact that you harboured a massive crush on him, and you thought feelings were reciprocated on his end too. But following a misunderstanding you now find yourself having to spend 2 months together working on promoting his new band all whilst fighting the urge to strangle him. But as summer goes on you realise, maybe you do have a soft spot for taesan.

PAIRINGS: band leader!taesan x photographer!female reader GENRE: smau + written e2l miscommunication trope WARNINGS: eji from ichillin as YN face claim, cursing, kys/kms jokes, future warnings will be added on in each chapter!

PLEASE DO NOT SPAM LIKE! spam liking rules still apply for smaus so please do rb instead of spam liking TT I don't want to be shadowbanned !!

back to masterlist!

profiles : DA BIG 6 | rawr xd club

CHAPTERS | titles are subject to change #01 ── in this band shit for life #02 ── #needthat #03 ── don’t fumble challenge go! #04 ── oopsie 🌼 #05 ── ijbol moment #06 ── dniym??? #07 ── freak my stupid baka life . . . tba

taglist ── open ! send an ask or comment to be added ^^

@downmainstreet @honniebabez @nujeskz @snoozbin @lovaeri @onlyhyunjin @shoberi @sainns @yujinify @haechology @5ofclubs @jlheon @woorcve @love-4-keum @molensworld @minjify @cherrytaesan @film-sea @tkooooop @astrae4 @amarecerasus @noodlesfeet @rikisluv

networks- @onedoornet

word from wam 🗯️ errr first smau lolsies, ik i have barely any followers here but this is for mainly for me bc i have had this idea rotting in my mind for decades ijbol. also the header is ugly but its my first time using photoshop pls let a girl live....

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serejae · 3 months ago

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WE’RE TALLER IN OTHER DIMENSIONS….right? | H.TS

IN WHICH…your ex comes back in town, and with that the memories come back too

GENRE…angst @onedoornet

pairing…taesan x reader

warnings, none :)

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starrihan · 1 month ago

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My Youth is Free - Toxic! Boynextdoor Break Up Scenarios

-> Pairing: afab! Reader x toxic! Boynextdoor

-> Plot: toxic breakup scenarios for each of the members

-> Genre: angst, suggestive (only some, not WH), Sungho and riwoo are misogynistic and controlling, riwoo is a manipulator, Taesan is really cold, anger issues in woonhak’s, fwb! Leehan, Leehan and Taesan are assholes, reader is blunt and swears a lot, use of real names (Sanghyeok, Dongmin, and Donghyun)

-> Warnings: misogyny, swearing

-> Word Count: 5,935 (~800-1200 words per member)

-> Notes: toxic bnd is all that’s been on my mind recently but let me know if you would like a part 2 where they make up with reader 🤭

-> Side Note: I get a lot of my inspirations from songs (like 1 or 2 lines from a song) and obviously 20 was the inspiration for this one but I always forget to link the song in case someone doesn’t know it 🤦🏽‍♀️ so here is a little edit with the song added anyways enjoy reading~ 😚

༄ ༄ ༄

Sungho:

He couldn't stand the thought of you getting closer to your male coworker. You had recently gotten a new job that required you to work a little later than he did. Sometimes you’d have so much work to do that you’d bring it home to work on, not having had enough time during the workday to get important documents and files finished before their deadline. When you told him that you would be working on a project with a male coworker he was supportive, at first. Of course you guys had total trust in each other, so he didn’t mind you needing to stay later in the office to work with him. But even after your joint project was over, you would still hang out regularly amongst other coworkers. This is what got under his skin.

“You know he wants you, right?”

“Sungho, please. We’re going out with a couple of friends too. I only mentioned his name because you’ve met him before.”

“And the whole time we hung out he was eyeing you down like a piece of candy. C’mon Y/N, seriously? The only reason a guy would hang out with a group of girls is because he wants one of them. You told me that he doesn’t really know the other girls so he’s only going out because you’re there.”

“Yeah, because I’m introducing him to them. I’m the department head so he worked with me but he should know the other people in my department if we’re going to be working together.”

“Im just saying, why would he hang out with you if he didn’t like you?”

“Excuse me? You don’t think I’m fun or interesting enough to hang out with a guy? You think men would only hang out with me because they want to sleep with me?”

“Baby, that’s not what I meant I–”

“Save it. I’m leaving. I’ll be back by 11.”

That was the first conversation of many that led to the break up. It got to a point where you would tell him you were going out and he’d automatically assume you were hanging out with the coworker, throwing a snarky, “don’t come back if you smell like him,” at you before you bitterly slam the door in his face. Until one night you had a work party and you didn’t invite Sungho to come with you, not even mentioning it to him. He only found out because your friends had posted about it.

“So were you ever going to tell me about this? Why didn’t you invite me to come with you?”

Sungho shows you his phone screen with your friend’s post before slamming it on the table.

“You’ve been so insufferable and insecure whenever I bring up anything work-related. If I invited you out tonight you would’ve punched the guy in the face when you saw him.”

“And why is that so bad, huh, Y/N? You don’t want me to punch your boy toy now?”

“PARK SUNGHO HE IS NOT MY BOY TOY AND YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY, UNDERSTOOD?”

You angrily throw down your stuff, marching up to him.

“I haven’t done anything. He hasn’t done anything. WE haven’t done anything so why can't you believe me and move on from the fact that I have a male friend? Are you that insecure about me leaving you when I’ve never done anything to betray your trust? Do I mean that little to you that you won't even give me the benefit of the doubt?”

Tears are slowly making their way down your face as you try to wipe them away before smudging your makeup. His expression softens, not realizing how far he’d let his jealousy come.

“Y/N I–”

“Save it, Sungho. You clearly don’t respect me or trust me. I’ll be back later to get some of my things. I’ll stay with my parents until you can figure your shit out. Call me when you’ve gotten some sense back.”

Anger, shock, disbelief. Sungho couldn’t believe that he had let this get so out of hand. Why was he so jealous in the first place? You guys still hung out and had dates every week and you were right; you never gave him any reason to doubt your loyalty to him.

He’d spend the next few days figuring out what it is he wants but more than that, he just wanted to give you your space. You didn’t want to leave so abruptly like that, but his toxic behaviors were driving you mad. Every time he’d spew some bullshit about you and your coworker you’d want to punch him in the face. You needed to give Sungho the time and space to figure out what his problem was, but more than anything you just wanted to be back in his arms.

༄ ༄ ༄

Riwoo:

When you first met Riwoo, it took him some time to get used to your bubbly and outgoing personality. You loved being out and having fun and partying, while he preferred to stay at home. It never bothered you that he didn’t always want to go out with you and it never bothered him that you would always want to go out. It would cause some small tiffs between you two about where date night would take place that week, but other than that, there were no issues with your opposing lifestyles. But somewhere along the way, his attitude about your friends and your constant outings had changed. He would fight it more often, using lame excuses that you would take to avoid any more fighting.

“I heard you’re going out with her (your friend) tonight?”

“Oh yeah, she invited me out after an argument she had with her boyfriend. We’re just going to the food stands so she can vent, nothing crazy.”

“Well, I heard she got into a fight with him because she was showing herself off to other men?”

“I mean, it is summer and she was at the beach? It’s not like she was 'showing herself off to other men,' she just wanted to wear a swimsuit. But apparently there's more to it she’s going to tell me about tonight.”

You were a little taken aback at his statement, not having expected him to find a problem with a woman wearing a bathing suit or moreso, using such a demeaning phrase against another woman, especially at the insinuation of wanting another man’s attention.

He just rolled his eyes and you both awkwardly sat there, until you broke the silence, telling him that you'd be leaving now and that you'd be back later.

Letting the rest of the evening play out, you came back with food for Riwoo, hoping that whatever he was saying earlier was just a result of him being hungry or having an off day and you knew food always made him feel better.

“Honey! I brought you some food!”

You expect him to come running like he usually does when you bring home food, but this time he just walks up to you, phone in hand.

“Thank you baby.”

He sits down and starts eating, waiting for you to tell him about your day.

“Okay so, apparently they’ve been having these issues for a while and this isn’t the first time he’s made some comment about her revealing her body or wearing revealing clothes. Just today he told her that she couldn’t wear jean shorts to meet up with me. Like it's 90 degrees out, what did he want her to wear, fluffy pajama pants?”

“I’m sure he has his reasons for not wanting her to wear revealing clothes in public? Why doesn’t she just respect his wishes?”

“Because he doesn’t have control over what she wears and how she wants to show off her own body? Yeah they’re dating but it’s not like she’s his to claim or anything.”

“Are you sure you should be friends with someone that doesn’t at least try to hear their boyfriend out?”

“Sanghyeok, what the hell are you talking about? What’s gotten into you? Why are you acting like this?”

“Like what? I just mean that I wouldn’t want you to be around people that don’t respect what others say. Who knows? Maybe she’ll start ignoring what you say and just move on to something else. She’s making a big deal over one thing so what if you get into an argument one day and she stops being your friend? I wouldn't want that happening to you.”

He rubs your arm up and down, trying to get you to understand his point of view but you move away from his touch.

“I don’t know why you're talking like that, but I don’t like it.”

You walk away from him, but something in your mind starts reconsidering your entire friendship with your best friend. Was she really so bad for not respecting her boyfriend's wishes over her clothes?

A few more instances arise where Riwoo tries to nicely reason with you on who you can and can’t hang out with, saying things like “I don’t want you to get hurt,” or “I don’t think you should wear that, the men around you might get the wrong idea.” And you slowly found yourself listening to him, so much so to the point where you didn’t have anyone left to hang out with besides him.

You spent days at home, your bright personality dimmed from not having any social interaction outside of your boyfriend. It wasn’t until you got a message from one of your friends, reaching out after you had made an excuse that Riwoo gave you to not hang out with her. It clicked in your brain that your friends had done nothing wrong. It was actually him that was the problem.

“Hey baby, ready for movie night?”

“No, I’m not.”

You stood up from your little blanket cocoon ready to confront him.

“You know what I realized? This whole time, you telling me not to hang out with this person or that doing this is wrong, even telling me what I can and can’t wear? You were just manipulating me this whole time. Why? You don’t think I should do things on my own?”

“Baby, I wasn’t manipulating you I—“

“Do NOT call me baby, you have no right. You don’t care for me and you don’t even love me. If you did you would let me be myself and not this shell of the person I once used to be. If you don’t like how I am then why have we been together this long?”

“Y/N, I was just looking out for you that’s it.”

“Well you can stop looking out for me, we’re done.”

You decide then to leave him, packing your things without turning back. He can tell he’s taken it too far. He was too selfish wanting you all for himself. You deserved happiness and you weren’t going to find that with him.

༄ ༄ ༄

Jaehyun:

The textbook definition of a workaholic. Jaehyun had expressed to you before how important his career as an idol was and that if you couldn’t handle days without seeing him or barely seeing him at all, then a relationship wasn’t the best idea. But you of course, in the optimistic honeymoon phase, denied the hardships of being in a relationship with an idol and agreed to date him anyways. Love was enough, right?

At first, things were great. It was hard, admittedly, having to hide yourself whenever you walked into the building and even from the staff for a while, only being able to meet him in empty conference rooms after somehow managing to sneak up there by yourself. But slowly his members and staff found out and you were in the clear to freely be around each other during his practices. You even brought snacks and lunch for everyone on occasion. But you also working meant that you didn’t get to see each other much. Though this is what you had anticipated, you didn’t think it was going to be as hard as it was.

Jaehyun would be busy hosting or in variety shows or interviews in the morning and then spend the rest of his day at the practice room or the studio. He was allowed to be over at your apartment but even then it was hard only being able to sleep next to him for a couple hours since he would be too tired to engage in anything other than a short conversation whenever he came home. He would always try to call and talk but even that got redundant since he was always so busy.

The lack of physical contact and barely any contact at all was starting to put a strain on your relationship. You would constantly try to get him to rest or stop working but he would insist that his work was too important to stop, often insinuating that it was more important than you.

You would try to visit him whenever possible but it always felt like you were always putting more effort to see him than he would to see you. It all came to a head when he was able to get a day off. The whole group was given time off after nonstop preparations for award shows and their upcoming tours. You were finally able to get your hands on him, innocently and not so much. The night he came home was great, filled with love and passion and all the pent up emotions from the months of strain you had endured. But the next day didn’t hold the same feelings.

Waking up to each other was all that you had asked for since the beginning of your relationship. You’d usually find yourself asleep when he came home and then he’d be gone by the time you woke up. An endless cycle of just barely missing each other was halted for just a day. Assuming that you’d be in his arms the rest of the day, you let him sleep in as you shower and work on breakfast for the both of you, taking your time.

“Good morning baby, it smells amazing in here.”

The cliché back hug while you cooked up eggs was exactly what you had pictured, never wanting this moment to end. After eating you let him rest while you cleaned up a little bit. Once you were done, you were slightly disappointed to have found him in the room playing online games with Donghyun and Sungho.

“Hey baby. I thought we were going to hang out today?”

You say, all cute and pouty.

“I know, baby. I’m only gonna play a couple rounds with them and then I’m all yours, okay?”

He gives you a quick kiss before going back to his game, focus completely shifting as he tried to recover from his last death. You sigh as you walk away. You didn’t want to sound commanding and needy but you’ve barely seen him and wanted to hang out with him.

You kill time by watching shows on Netflix. One hour turns into two and two turns into 4 as he emerges from the room, a disappointed look on his face. Upon hearing the bedroom door open, you turn back to see him.

“I have some bad news…”

“Oh no, Jaehyun, what is it?”

“They called me into the studio just now. Apparently something happened to the usb drive that had a bunch of pre-released tracks on them and they want to see if I can save them.”

You look at him in disbelief, tears welling up in your eyes. Voice broken, you respond,

“C-can’t they call a computer technician or something? Why are they having you go? Do you know how to retrieve the files?”

“Well no but—“

“So why do you have to go then?”

“Y/N…”

He comes closer, giving you a hug as you let your tears stream down your face and into his shirt.

“I’m sorry, I can’t just not go.”

You didn’t want to sound rude or ungrateful, but you couldn’t let your anger build up any longer.

“You just HAD to play games with Donghyun and Sungho huh? Instead of spending time with me.”

You pull away from him, eyes red and angry as tears continue to spill from your eyes and voice cracking in rage.

“They wanted to hop on for a bit and wanted me to join them…”

“You see them EVERYDAY!! I’ve barely seen you because your work is SO important, more important than me and then the ONE day you have off, you choose to spend half the day with the people you see LITERALLY everyday and now you’re coming out here telling me that you have to go BACK to work??? Jaehyun I don’t know how much more of this I can take…”

Tears are slipping down his cheeks as his voice starts to break at his next words,

“Baby I told you that it was going to be hard and that my work is so important. You know I cant say no to them.”

“So you’re choosing work again over me? Just like how you chose your friends over me? And like how you choose everything else in your life over me? Alright, that’s fine.”

You wipe your tears as the sadness dissipates and is replaced by anger. You have no words left to say as you try to walk past him, his hand grabbing your wrist delicately stopping you from walking away.

“Y/N please, that’s not fair. I’m so sorry. You’re so important to me and I know this is hard but can we talk about this when I get back?”

“I’ve given you plenty of chances Jaehyun. You always refuse my help, refuse my offer when I tell you to rest or spend time with me. I have nothing left to say to you.”

You harshly pull your hand away from his grip, closing and locking the bedroom door as Jaehyun gathers himself, washing his face before grabbing his things and heading out to the studio. Maybe love wasn’t enough.

༄ ༄ ༄

Taesan:

Taesan was good at everything. Almost. He was smart, always got good grades and he was very musically talented. He could sing, rap, dance and even play the piano. He was also very determined, attending both college and dance/ singing practices at his entertainment company, KOZ. You knew he was very busy but you shared similar classes and would always pair up together for projects or assignments so not being able to see each other was never an issue. The problems arose when he was stressed beyond belief.

He seemed very chill and nonchalant to strangers, not really showing his mischievous yet funny personality. But you knew him as the fun, lovable, fake emo that was surprisingly affectionate and loved giving you cute couple gifts, like the guitar heart keychain on your bag. But when he was stressed, it was like he shut the rest of the world out, including you. At first you thought he just didn’t know how to manage that much stress yet and would cut him some slack, letting him figure things out on his own. But when his behaviors under said stress persisted even after a couple months of dating, you were starting to get sick of it.

He was good at everything, except telling you how he was feeling. He would text you normally one day and then go no contact for multiple days, even avoiding you during classes. It would irk you the most when you’d see him hanging out with his friends right in front of your face, acting like everything was fine and then ignoring you. Finally fed up with all his antics you waited again until he hit another no contact stress period to confront him.

You both had a big exam coming up. Exams in this class were 20% of your grade, each, so you knew he would be stressed trying to juggle studying and practice. Like you predicted, a week before the exam he stopped messaging you. He didn’t even sit next to you in class, choosing to sit by himself in the corner of the lecture hall, face buried in his laptop and notes. You would find him later in the day at the student center, talking and laughing with his friends, still not having received even a single text from him for the last few days. You decided to take pictures of him with his friends, keeping it as evidence if he tried to deny your accusations. You waited until after the exam was over to message him, “let’s hang out today! I miss you :(,” hoping that your fake excitement was conveyed through the message. You weren’t surprised to see that he had messaged you back after, simply replying with “sure,” which made you even angrier. No talking for a week and the only thing he says back to you is “sure?”

You’re with him in a solo practice room, the small space covered in mirrors on two sides a little claustrophobic for you.

“Dongmin, we need to talk.”

His sigh indicated to you that he knew what you wanted to talk about.

“Alright, let’s get this over with.”

His attitude was already bad, pissing you off even more.

“Let’s get this over with? Why are you acting like this is such a burden on you? Ignoring me, your girlfriend, for a week because you’re stressed studying for an exam and being here at practice but you can hang out with your friends no problem?”

“Y/N you’re being ridiculous I wasn’t hanging out with my friends and I have been stressed, you know that.”

“Oh really?”

You scoff, pulling up the picture of him laughing with a couple of his friends, the date being that of 2 days ago. His face doesn’t change, if anything he looks more uninterested than when the conversation started, not even caring that he was caught in his lie.

“You’re really gonna stand here and tell me that you haven’t been hanging out with your friends all week when you have? Why can’t you just tell me why you don’t message me, why you ignore me whenever you have too much on your plate. All I ask is that you communicate but you never do!”

“You’re just too much to deal with.”

That one sentence shut you up, tears on the brink of falling from your eyes. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“What?”

“Recently you’ve been too much to deal with. Especially when I’m stressed. I can’t handle you and all my work and practice all together. And you know I’m not good at communicating. I don’t like to talk about my feelings.”

It was the way that he had no emotion behind his sentences that made the lump in your throat even bigger. When did he stop caring about you? When did he stop loving you?

“Where is all this coming from? I thought everything was fine? You always acted normal after your little ghosting.”

“You never saw that as a problem? That I would ghost you and pretend that everything was fine after? At first I was just learning how to juggle everything at once. But after a while, I started to get tired of this. I guess I just didn’t know how to say it.”

He was so cold about it that you didn’t know how to react. Heart broken into a million pieces, you couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“You should’ve told me a while ago. Before things got this far. It’s been 8 months and you couldn’t tell me that you didn’t want to be together?”

“Sorry. Like I said, I don’t talk about my feelings or emotions. You should’ve known that.”

You couldn’t stand to be in that suffocating room with him any longer, shoving him out of the way as you bolt out the door, tears falling haphazardly as you exit the building. You were so lost, so hurt that he was feeling this way and never said a thing and yet he still managed to make you feel like shit about it. You wipe your tears away, removing the keychain he gave you from your bag and throwing it down to the ground, stomping on it.

“Fuck you, Han Dongmin.”

༄ ༄ ༄

Leehan:

The undeniably attractive, oblivious and kind hearted man that everyone loves. He was incredibly popular on your small campus, loved by men and women alike. So you were very surprised to find that he had taken an interest in you. You wouldn’t say you had a crush on him but of course you couldn’t deny his beauty. You weren’t shy per se but you didn’t put yourself out there. You had your circle of friends and did your part in the clubs you were in but that was it.

Everyone knew him as the lovely fish guy, always talking about his pet fish and what he hopes to achieve in his tank in the future. You had only ever seen him at your school’s aqua life club, as he was the president of it. You worked with him before but you didn’t know him that well.

“Hey Y/N.”

There were a couple of other people helping to organize the fundraiser your club was hosting, Donghyun came to speak to you first.

“Hey Donghyun, how’ve you been?”

“I’m doing well. I actually had a question to ask you.”

“Oh? What’s up? Did you need help with something for the club?”

He nervously scratches the nape of his neck before flashing his bright smile at you.

“Actually, I was wondering if you would want to go out with me sometime? I completely understand if you don’t want to but I just thought I’d ask.”

You were taken aback, not really expecting to have been asked on a date by him, but you agreed nonetheless. Which brought you to your current situation.

Donghyun would constantly get invited out to parties by his friends or girls who thought they had a chance with him. You guys had more of a friends with benefits relationship, occasionally going on dates whenever he asked. But you inevitably caught feelings for him. You were scared to confront him about them, worried about what his reaction might be. The next time you saw him was when he invited you out to dinner. After eating, you went back to your apartment. Usually the time after your date was spent feeling each other up, as per your arrangement, but today felt different. Dognhyun could feel the tension radiating off of you so he waited until you were back inside to ask you about it.

“Everything okay? You seemed a little tense back at the restaurant?”

You fiddled with your jewelry, his nervous smile making you even more nervous.

“Yeah it's just… there's something we need to talk about…”

“Oh, no. Don’t tell me you have a boyfriend now and have to end things with me? If you waited to tell me that after our date then that's just cruel.”

His laugh is lighthearted, almost mocking, as if the possibility of you getting a boyfriend and breaking things off him was unlikely. You reciprocate his laugh nonetheless.

“No… I actually think we need to end things for a different reason.”

His joking manner turned serious as the words left your mouth, sitting on the couch and pulling you down with him.

“Did I do anything to upset you? I like this arrangement we have and if there's anything I can do to fix it please tell me.”

“No Donghyun, it's not you. It's just… I like you. I know that's against what our arrangement was about but I can’t help it.”

“Y/N… you know I can’t date you. It’d be too… weird. I don't meant weird but you know, I’m the president of aqua life and I have a big name here and-”

“And being with me would ruin your reputation so you decided to just sleep with me instead?”

He fell silent, confirming your previous statement and you felt your heart drop into your stomach. How had you not known how he truly felt this whole time?

“Why take me out on all these dates then if you strictly wanted it to be just sex? It’s not like everyone in the club doesn’t know anyways so this ruining your reputation bullshit doesn’t make much sense. Or were you just hoping that things would work out and you could throw me away when you got bored?”

“I’m sorry, I just don’t want a relationship with you. I took you out on dates to be nice so we could keep things like this between us. If I had known you were going to catch feelings for me I wouldn’t have done all this.”

“You’re such an asshole. You were giving me mixed signals this whole time, taking me out and treating me like a girlfriend, holding my hand and shit and you expected me not to catch feelings? Just so I’d stay fucking you in hopes that I dont realize just how much you suck? You’re a dick, Donghyun.”

He didn’t have it in him to try to argue with you or calm you down, getting up from the sofa.

“I feel like I’ve said a lot of things that were taken out of context. If you would like to talk more about this then let me know. But for the record, I do apologize for all of this. I wouldn’t have done it if I knew this is how things would go.”

“You can take your apology and shove it up your ass, Donghyun.”

You basically push him out of your apartment, slamming the door in his face. You waited until you heard his footsteps walk away to silently sob to yourself for not seeing his true colors sooner.

༄ ༄ ༄

Woonhak:

A normally very sweet yet childish boy that had so much love to give you. His passive aggressive tendencies towards his friends would always make you laugh, his embarrassment at being babied by them entertaining to you. He could be the most perfect boyfriend ever, when he didn’t have anger issues. Even though he would never admit to it, Woonhak was very sensitive and it was very apparent when he was angry or ticked off. It didn’t help that he couldn’t control himself when he was angry, often opting to yell at the person that made him mad.

The first time you saw him angry, he was in an argument with Jaehyun. With their comeback approaching quickly, tensions between all the boys were high and all the criticisms were getting to them. While the others had more sensibility and maturity when it came to controlling their anger, Woonhak would just explode. You had walked into the practice room to deliver dinner to the boys, a simple meal you got from the food stand down the road. You heard yelling come from the practice room but you just assumed it was an instructor giving them directions for their comeback stage. But upon walking in, you see Woonhak and Jaehyun fighting, screaming about the performance.

You were quite soft spoken yourself, so hearing Woonhak yell like that scared you, making you drop the food on the floor, alerting the two boys of your presence. They both looked at you seething, but Jaehyun’s expression softened up when he saw you there, standing frozen as the food had started leaking from the bag and onto the floor. Woonhak looks at you but just huffs and walks away, probably embarrassed that you had to see that. You slowly clean up the food in shock, Jaehyun apologizing while helping you clean.

You go to see Woonhak after and see that he had tear stains down his cheeks, visible through his messed up makeup. Thinking you were Jaehyun, he started yelling again, asking to be left alone before looking back at you, seeing the tears in your eyes in fear of being yelled at by him. He quickly apologizes to you before walking away, mad at himself for being such an idiot and blowing up at you for no reason. You were scared and upset, not being able to handle being yelled at from anyone, especially your boyfriend.

You had waited for him to come to you and when he did, he immediately apologized again and hugged you, asking for your forgiveness. You of course said yes, as long as he doesn’t yell at you ever again. He agreed and you guys were fine for a while. After the comeback and promotions, they were right back to practicing for another comeback plus the first part of their tour. You had learned that Woonhak just needed space when preparing for comebacks, so you always gave him distance when he was at his busiest, but recently, everything seemed to piss him off, including you.

You would be at his dorm, preparing food for the boys after practice and he would come home mad, stressed and tired. You’d politely offer him a try of the food you are making, only to be swatted away by him and ignored, making you feel less than adequate. He did this a couple times and your patience slowly dwindled, until you met your breaking point.

A particularly rough afternoon had resulted in him getting into a fight with Taesan over lyrics to their new song. He was being reprimanded for trying to add lyrics that were shot down multiple times. You just so happened to get caught in crossfire, and he would blame you, saying that it was your constant need for his attention that distracted him. Upon hearing this you felt the tears well up in your eyes.

“Is that what you think of me? A distraction to your music career for simply wanting to be by your side?”

Taesan looked like a deer in headlights, excusing himself from the situation, afraid of feeling your wrath.

“Y/N, you know that's not what I mean, I’m just frustrated.”

“That's the issue Kim Woonhak, you’re ALWAYS frustrated. You're always stressed and there's always something wrong. Anytime I try to help you, you treat me like I’m a burden and I can never be good enough to help you. You always ignore me when I’m here so I’ve stopped asking for your attention in hopes that you’d come to me for once but you never do. Do you even want to be with me anymore?”

Tears were flowing down his cheeks not being able to hold them back any longer after your confession.

“Y-Y/N, i love you so much. I’m sorry I’m so busy… I want to be with you I swear I can treat you right I just need some time during this comeback and–”

“I’ve given you nothing but time, Woonhak. I don’t have any more of my time to give you. I can’t stay here while you yell at me and I can’t stand the fact that you think I’m the one holding you back. So I won’t be here to hold you back anymore, Kim Woonhak. We’re done.”

You can no longer hold your tears back, letting them roll down your face and onto the ground as you slowly pack up your belongings, giving him one last hug before leaving, wishing him luck on his upcoming comeback and tour.

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mountaesan · 2 months ago

Text

a wild goose chase ; h. taesan

pairing. loser frat boy!taesan x fem!reader ( ft. frat brothers!sungho & leehan ) genre. slice of life , angst if you squint , strangers to lovers , university au synopsis. taesan isn't one to usually to go on a wild goose chase , but his world is turned upside down after one conversation with you word count. 3.8k warnings. alcohol consumption , taesan fumbles a baddie ( you ) , reader wears makeup in one scene , taesan is horrendously down bad playlist. her by block b , phone number by jinusean ( screamed when they collabed w jinusean . . . i lich rally grew up with this song so it was so surreal for me LMAO ) notes. this is the first and last time i will ever write solely in a member’s pov. i struggled way too much man

Since his first day of being a pledge, Taesan’s been in a strange limbo, teetering between a thin edge of savoring the pulse of life that could only exist in a too-crowded, too busy frat party, and loathing the sweaty chaos of beer-stained floors.

Today felt like the latter.

He bit back a curse when he felt the cold splatter of cheap beer spilling onto his shoes. Yup, definitely the latter.

The culprit, a half-drunk freshman he recognized as a pledge from another frat, mumbled a short apology before scampering off to the bar. Taesan ran an exhausted hand through his hair, contemplating once again, his choice to join a fraternity, and pushed through the crowd to the entrance of the frat house.

“Hey, Woonhak,” Taesan clapped a hand on the shoulder of his Little, a freshman with bright eyes and a cheery smile. “You’re off pledge duty. I got you.”

Woonhak glanced at the older brother with an excited glint in his eyes. “Really? Are you being serious?”

Taesan leaned against the doorframe, the cool night air brushing against his face as he took Woonhak’s place at the entrance. He had just enough view of the street to feel like he wasn’t entirely stuck in the chaos behind him. Taking the clipboard from Woonhak, he gave the younger boy a mock glare.

“Go, before I start assigning you something worse, like mop duty,” Taesan said with a smirk.

Woonhak saluted dramatically before disappearing into the house. Probably to find the rest of the pledges and bask in his temporary freedom.

Taesan sighed, flipping the clipboard to glance at the guest list for all of two seconds before setting it on a nearby ledge. Who cared if they were invited or not? As long as they weren’t carrying anything sketchy, it wasn’t his problem.

The first group approached, a trio of giggling girls holding red Solo cups. Taesan raised a skeptical brow, clearly noticing the alcohol already in hand, but he didn’t bother questioning where it came from.

“You’re good. Go on in,” he said, waving them through without hesitation.

They gave him a quick thanks and hurried inside, their laughter trailing behind them. Another group shuffled up next, this time a pair of guys who looked like they’d eat guys like Taesan for breakfast. One of them squinted at him, as if sizing him up.

“Do we need to, like, sign in or something?” the guy asked.

Taesan stared at him blankly. “Nope. Enjoy.”

And so it went. Taesan let a steady stream of people through, his “screening process” consisting mostly of quick glances and half-hearted waves. He let his mind wander, relishing the cool breeze and the occasional quiet moments when no one approached.

Half an hour passed. Maybe more. He wasn’t keeping track.

“You’re really just letting everyone in, huh?”

The voice startled Taesan out of his thoughts. Turning, he saw a familiar face–Sungho, a senior who lived for frat events but somehow managed to stay above the chaos. He stood with his arms crossed, an amused smile playing on his lips.

Taesan shrugged, his usual deadpan expression intact. “What do you want me to do? Start a full-body security pat down?”

Sungho laughed. “Nah, but you could at least pretend to care. Who knows, maybe someone will bring a llama into the house or something.”

“A llama would probably be the highlight of the night,” Taesan shot back.

Sungho rolled his eyes but stayed beside him, leaning against the frame. “You hate this, don’t you?”

“Absolutely.”

They stood in silence for a moment, watching another group wander up the driveway. Sungho nudged him.

“Come on, at least ask if they’re on the list this time,” he teased.

Taesan groaned but picked up the clipboard. He glanced down at the list for show and when the group reached him, he asked, “Names?”

The group rattled off something incomprehensible over the thumping bass from inside. Taesan nodded as if he cared, waved them through, and dropped the clipboard again.

“Wow. Stellar effort,” Sungho deadpanned.

“Thanks. I try,” Taesan replied, monotone.

“Well, I’m going to bounce. Do your job properly, dude.” With a final pat on his shoulder, Sungho’s footsteps retreated as he disappeared back into the house.

The familiar weight of resignation settled over Taesan again as the door swung shut behind him. With a sigh, he slumped further into his position, resting his back against the doorframe as he half-heartedly pretended to check people off the list, all while counting down the minutes until he could leave.

He didn’t even look up when another group approached, letting them through with a lazy wave. He was honestly getting close to abandoning his post altogether. He’d never been assigned this duty in the first place, and he sure as hell didn’t care enough to do it right.

But then again, if he left, Woonhak would catch flak for it, and Taesan wasn’t about to make his Little’s life harder. Besides, he had no interest in receiving a demerit for a job that wasn’t even his in the first place. No way he’d risk that.

So, he stuck it out, like some reluctant sentinel standing at the gates of a frat party he hated.

One thing to clarify though, Taesan doesn’t hate his frat. He joined for a reason. Sure, it had taken some convincing from Leehan, but Taesan wanted to belong. He wanted to be part of something bigger. He enjoyed the parties, the camaraderie with his brothers, the sense of pride that came with being part of a long-standing tradition.

But on days like today, when the music felt too loud, the bodies too close, and the heat in the house too overwhelming, he didn’t exactly feel connected to it. Some days, it was just too much. But that didn’t mean he was going to bail entirely.

He was still there.

Taesan’s thoughts drifted again, only for a soft tap on his shoulder to yank him back into the present.

“Okay, okay, I’ll do those full-body pat downs since you want them so bad. Wanna be my first?” Taesan said without thinking, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he turned around, fully expecting Sungho to reprimand him for doing his job poorly again.

But when he turned, his words caught in his throat.

It wasn’t Sungho with his broad shoulders, ready to scold him. It was a girl.

A pretty one, at that.

You were stunning, with sparkling eye makeup that caught the light like stars and a half-empty Solo cup clutched in your hand. Your smile was teasing, but there was something about your energy that made Taesan forget how to breathe for a second.

Your wide eyes met his, and his heart did something weird. A small, unfamiliar skip. He cleared his throat, trying to shake the feeling, but it didn’t go away. You were too pretty. Too close. And for some reason, everything about you made the party fade away, even the thumping bass of the music and the chaos inside the house.

He immediately regretted his sarcastic quip.

You blinked once. Twice. Then, with an easy smile, said, “So, you’re really going to give me a full-body pat down?”

Taesan swallowed hard, cursing inwardly at his own awkwardness. He’d never been good at talking to pretty girls, and you, with your sharp eyes and mischievous grin, were making him feel like a fool.

“Uh, no,” he replied quickly, his voice awkward. “I was just, uh, joking.”

You raised an eyebrow, still smiling. “Oh? Too bad. I could’ve used a full-body check,” you teased lightly, glancing down at his clipboard. “But seriously, I’m looking for someone. Have they come in yet?”

Taesan blinked, completely thrown off his game. “Who?”

“Her name’s Ji-an. She’s—”

Taesan felt a sharp pang of guilt when he realized that he had no idea who had come in, much less if someone named Ji-an had arrived. He cursed himself internally. Turns out his half-assed guest checking routine wasn’t exactly working in his favor. Maybe he should’ve listened to Sungho.

“I—uh—yeah, sorry. I have no idea,” Taesan stammered, suddenly feeling like an idiot.

Your smile faltered slightly, but you didn’t seem upset. Instead, you shrugged. “It’s fine. I figured I’d ask anyway. I’ll just look inside.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry I wasn’t any help. I didn’t really—uh—” he trailed off, feeling even more awkward.

But you didn’t seem to mind. You tilted your head slightly, your smile returning. “You know, I have to say, the ‘full-body-pat-down’ idea has some potential. Maybe you should do that for everyone. Could be your new thing.”

Taesan blinked. “My new thing? As in, like, a career move?”

You laughed, and Taesan found himself smiling despite himself. “Sure, why not?”

The two of you bantered for a few more minutes and the tension in Taesan’s chest loosened with each passing second. He wasn’t the smoothest guy, but for some reason, it didn’t feel like he was completely messing up with you.

After a while, you gave him a friendly wave with a warm smile. “Well, thanks for the pat-down offer,” you said. “I have to go find my friend now.”

Taesan opened his mouth to say something, anything, but he couldn’t find the words. He should’ve offered to help, or at least asked for your name so he could tell you if he saw Ji-an. But he didn’t.

After you disappeared into the house, Taesan cursed himself, kicking the ground in frustration. “Idiot,” he muttered, rubbing a hand over his face.

Quickly racking his brain for any ideas, he spotted a nearby pledge as his eyes darted around in a frantic attempt to regain some sense of control over the situation. He grabbed the pledge by the shoulder, his voice sharp.

“Hey, find Woonhak,” Taesan instructed quickly. “Tell him to come back to the door so I can go inside. I gotta—uh, I gotta take care of something.”

Before the pledge could respond, Taesan was already darting into the house. He couldn’t waste another second. He had no idea where you had gone, but he couldn’t just let you slip away without at least trying. He pushed through the partygoers, the bass of the music vibrating in his chest as he made his way deeper into the house, hoping to spot you again.

But no matter how many people he bumped into, no matter how many faces he searched, you were nowhere to be seen. The house was a blur of bodies, the dance floor packed, conversations overlapping with laughter and the clink of bottles.

“Where the hell did she go?” Taesan muttered under his breath, frustration beginning to boil in his chest. He stood still for a moment, trying to focus, to catch his breath, but it didn’t help. You had disappeared into the crowd.

By the time he reached the bar area, Taesan’s determination had wavered, and he felt more ridiculous than ever. The bartender, someone he recognized from his BIO 265, gave him a nod as he slid onto a barstool. He needed something to take the edge off.

“Three shots of tequila,” Taesan said with a tired smile.

The bartender raised a brow but didn’t ask any questions. A few moments later, three glasses were set in front of him. Taesan didn’t hesitate. One after the other, he threw them back, the warmth and burn of the alcohol cutting through the mess of thoughts clouding his mind.

The shots hit him fast, the tipsy feeling spreading through his chest and head. The nervous energy he had been carrying around since the moment you walked up to him seemed to dissipate. He felt lighter, like the heavy weight of self-doubt was slowly lifting.

“Alright, alright, now we’re talking,” Leehan said as he slid into the empty spot next to him, a grin spreading across his face. “What’s going on, dude? You look like someone punched you in the gut for the past hour.”

Taesan slouched against the bar, his fingers tapping in time with the music. A small smile formed on his face despite himself.

“I… I messed up, dude,” Taesan started, his words slightly slurring, but not enough to lose coherence. “I talked to this girl, but I—ugh, I don’t even know why I said the stuff I did. I don’t know what came over me. She was cute, man. Like, really cute.”

“Alright, spill,” Leehan said, nudging him. “Give me all the deets. Maybe I can find this chick for you.”

Taesan huffed, running a hand through his hair. “She came up to me while I was covering my Little for door duty. She asked if someone was here, but because I’m so amazing and perfect at my job, I had no clue. We talked a little and then she… walked off.”

Leehan grinned, his curiosity piqued. “What’d she look like?”

“She was… pretty,” Taesan said, gesturing vaguely. “Like, really pretty. Sparkly eyes, Solo cup, electrifying smile. She was—ugh, I don’t know how to explain it.”

Leehan’s grin widened as he leaned back against the bar. “Sparkly eyes and an electrifying smile? What are you, a poet? Goddamn, someone’s got it bad. Did you at least get her name?”

Taesan groaned, burying his face in his hands. “No. She was looking for her friend, Ji-an. That’s all I know.”

Leehan let out a low whistle. “Man, you really blew it. But hey, this is a party. If she’s still here, we can find her.”

Taesan lifted his head, shooting his friend a skeptical look. “You’re not serious.”

“Dead serious.” Leehan clapped him on the shoulder, the force almost making Taesan lose his balance on the barstool. “You’ve been moping since you got here. Might as well do something about it. Come on, dude, let’s go.”

Taesan hesitated, the tequila in his system making his thoughts fuzzy. He wanted to protest, but deep down, he didn’t want to sit there all night replaying the interaction in his head. If there was even the slightest chance of finding you again, he couldn’t let it slip away.

“Fine,” he muttered, sliding off the stool. “But if this turns into some wild goose chase, it’s all your fault.”

Leehan laughed, already scanning the room like a man on a mission. “Relax, dude. I’ve got a good feeling about this. Let’s start with the dance floor. That’s where all the magic usually happens.”

The two of them weaved through the crowd, Taesan’s eyes darting from face to face in search of you. The party was in full swing with the music loud and the air thick with energy. People were dancing, laughing, and shouting over the loud bass, but Taesan couldn’t focus on any of it. His mind was consumed by the image of your teasing smile and the way your eyes had sparkled under the dim lights.

Ten minutes quickly turned into half an hour, and Taesan glanced over at Leehan dejectedly, who responded with a shake of his head from the other end of the room. They made their way to the center of the dance floor, meeting halfway with matching downcast looks.

“Sorry, dude. Riwoo said he saw some girl dragging a drunk Ji-an out not too long ago. That might’ve been your girl.” Leehan clasped his hand on Taesan’s shoulder. “Forget about her, man. There’s plenty of other fish in the sea.”

Taesan shook his head. “You don’t get it. She’s not someone you could easily forget about overnight.”

“You’ll be saying otherwise when you’re shitfaced by the end of the night. C’mon.”

Taesan did not say otherwise at the end of the night, but he did have something else to say to Leehan when he woke up the next morning with a splitting headache and a hangover bad enough to curdle milk.

He groaned when his alarm blared loudly, shrill beeps drilling into his skull like a jackhammer. His hand shot out from beneath the blanket, swiping at the nightstand in a desperate attempt to silence it. On the fourth swing, his fingers finally managed to find the snooze button, and for a moment, blissful silence returned.

But Taesan’s head continued to throb, each pulse serving as a cruel reminder of the series of events last night following his encounter with you.

“Leehan…” Taesan croaked, his voice rough and crackly. He barely managed to crack one eye open, but immediately shut it again when the daylight spilling through the blinds felt like knives stabbing into his brain. He groaned louder. “Leehan… you shit.”

“Nuh-uh. I’m off best friend duty,” came a muffled response from across the room. Leehan’s voice wasn’t any better than Taesans. “I don’t know a Leehan.”

Taesan tried to sit up—key word: tried. The room spun violently, and he immediately slumped back down as he clutched his temples. “Oh my God… I’m never letting you bartend ever again.”

Leehan gave no response, and Taesan became awfully suspicious that his best friend had fallen back asleep, at the luxury of no morning classes terrorizing his schedule. Lucky bastard.

Panic prickled at the edges of Taesan’s foggy brain. Morning class. He had morning class. And it was one of those unforgiving ones where attendance counted for more than 50% of his grade. Shit. He rolled out of bed, landing on the floor with a graceless thud. The impact sent another wave of nausea crashing over him, and he mumbled out another frenzy of colorful, obscene words.

Taesan crawled to his feet, using the edge of his rickety, old dorm bed for support. He staggered to the closet, pulling out the first clean shirt he could find. It was inside out. He didn’t care. Pants? Found them on the floor. Socks? Mismatched, but at least they were clean (he checked).

He stumbled into the bathroom, squinting at his reflection. His hair was a bird’s nest, and his face looked like it had been dragged through a gravel pit. He splashed cold water on his face, hoping it would shock some life back into him. It didn’t.

“You look like you were visited by the grim reaper himself,” Leehan called from the warmth and safety of his bed. Taesan was brimming with jealousy.

“Feel so much worse,” he muttered, gripping the sink to steady himself. He grabbed his toothbrush. The minty toothpaste felt like ice against his teeth, and for a second, he thought he might actually cry. By some miracle, Taesan made it back to his room, tugging on the first sweater he could find, followed by his bag slinging over one shoulder.

“If I die in class, tell my parents it’s all your fault,” he said, glaring weakly at Leehan.

Leehan saluted lazily from his bed. “Have fun, champ.”

Taesan didn’t dignify that with a response. He sprinted out the door, pushing down the urge to regurgitate everything he’s had to eat in the past 24 hours, and prayed to every deity he could think of that he’d make it to class in one piece.

Somehow, he did.

Taesan stumbled into the lecture hall with barely a minute to spare. His hoodie was pulled so far over his head, it nearly covered his eyes. He slid into a seat at the very back, slouching low to make it himself as inconspicuous as possible. The professor’s voice droned on at the front of the room, but Taesan wasn’t listening. He couldn’t. His mind was elsewhere, rewinding to last night. To you.

He could still picture your bright smile, teasing and playful. The way your eyes sparkled under the dim lights, like they held secrets he’d spend a lifetime trying to uncover. You had been so easy to talk to, like you’d known each other for years instead of minutes. He replayed the sound of your laughter ringing in his ears, the warmth of your hand brushing against his, the way his heart had skipped a beat when you looked at him with a twinkle in your eyes.

The short, five minute memory served as a lifeline, pulling him through the fog of his hangover. He barely noticed the minutes ticking by, and before he knew it, the lecture was over. Students began filing out as the sound of their chatter filled the air, but Taesan stayed seated for a beat longer. He was reluctant to leave the sanctuary of his thoughts. Of you.

Finally, he heaved himself to his feet and trudged out of the lecture hall, his body heavy with exhaustion. Coffee. He needed coffee—something hot and strong to chase away the remnants of his misery.

But then he saw you.

You were across the quad, walking with your bag slung casually over one shoulder. The sunlight hit you just right, catching in your hair and illuminating your face. Your presence cut through the haze in Taesan’s mind like a beacon, and he froze, his heart thudding painfully in his chest. For a moment, he forgot all about his headache, his nausea, the dryness in his throat, even the fact that he could barely stand upright.

All he could see was you.

And you were walking away, towards the main building.

It was like the universe had thrown Taesan a lifeline. He bolted down four flights of stairs, his bag bouncing against his back as he burst out of the building. He sprinted across the quad, ignoring the confused stares of his classmates.

Taesan’s lungs burned, and his legs felt like jelly, but he pushed forward, desperate to catch up to you before you disappeared again.

“Wait!” he called, his voice cracking slightly.

You turned, eyebrows raised in surprise. He skidded to a stop in front you, panting heavily both from the exertion and the sheer adrenaline of seeing you up close again. For a second, he couldn’t find the words. His mind had turned blank, except for the thought that you were prettier than he remembered.

“Door guy?”

“That full body security pat down is still on the table, if you want.”

Taesan’s words hung in the air, and his eyes widened in horror as he realized what he’d just said. He had blurt out whatever words first came to mind, not realizing that he sounded like a complete weirdo in front of you. His face turned bright red, and he opened his mouth to backtrack, but then you laughed—a warm, genuine laugh that sent his heart into overdrive.

“Smooth,” you said, still smiling. “Real smooth, door guy.”

Taesan rubbed the back of his neck, grinning sheepishly. “The name’s Taesan. I… I meant to say hi. But, uh, hi.”

“Hi, Taesan,” you replied, your smile softening. “I’m [Name].”

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