#was this inspired by The Blight Sessions? A little
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Therapy for Miraculous Team fic idea
cool idea for miraculous fic set during season 2-3 (get away all this shit from seasons 4-5)
Okay, so one day Mayor of Paris announced that as thanks to the Miraculous team for all they did for Paris, they can get free mental health care. Like a free therapist. Talk about perks being superheroes
Anyway, Ladybug of course says that its dangerous and they can't really talk to said therapist because people can figure out their identities. Chat Noir agrees, but in the end they both start using said therapist.
It starts with something more trivial like high school stress or tips for how to deal with anxiety, small things like that. But as time goes and therapist being an actually nice person who never tries to guess who they are under the mask and just wants to help them, both Ladybug and Chat Noir loosen up a little. They now talk about other stuff, more personal to them (still hiding their identities)
Even temporal heroes sometimes use therapist services. Rena Rouge asks how can she be passionate about her hobbies without it hurtung her friends, Carapace asks tips how to help his friend who is in a difficult family situation, Queen Bee (she is the last to visit therapist but even she caves) asks how can she change herself so that she stops losing people. It's all very nice and well, and the team grows so much closer than they were before
Only the thing is, the therapist is actually a double agent working for Hawkmoth.
Maybe they had some personal vendetta against the Miraculous team, maybe they just didn't trust them, maybe some other reason - just the idea that said therapist was not all that great.
Until they started listening to the heroes and suddenly hit with the realization that they are just kids. Ladybug can restore Paris in a matter of seconds, but she is extremely anxious about school and has a poor life-work balance. Chat Noir can destroy everything just by touching it, but he also spends so long pretending to be a perfect version of himself that he has no idea who he truly is. Rena Rouge can make a perfect illusion with a few notes, but she also feels like she constantly misses everything and she hurts more people than actually helps them. Carapace can shield a bullet, but also worries about his friends and not being enough for them. Queen Bee is able to freeze a person, but also is so deep in her own familly problems that she is also comepltly lost what she is as a person.
Suddenly therapist realizes that people who were protecting Paris for so many years - are just kids. Kids who should worry about their grades and school drama and not fight a magical terrorist every day.
Maybe then therapist starts selling false info to the Hawkmoth. Maybe they now trying to figure out the Hawkmoth identity. Maybe then Therapist becomes probably the only stable adult figure in superheroes lifes they can go for. Maybe they start learning more stuff about miraculouses. And maybe they suddenly met with a choice to step away and probably let those kids make so many mistakes or step in and help them in every possible way.
Just the idea of some random parisian therapist looking at miraculous team and deciding that that is enough and help them.
Edit: of course we can take more hilarious approach because imagine you start listening to all the stuff those kids are up to. Someone was in a doomed alternative version of their world, someone tried to cataclysmed themselves and all that while dealing with school. I pity that therapist
#miraculous ladybug#chat noir#miraculous au#queen bee#rena rouge#ladybug#carapace#nino lahiffe#marinette dupain cheng#adrien agreste#chloe bourgeois#alya cesaire#sometimes your found family is you your team of superheroes and your therapist#was this inspired by The Blight Sessions? A little
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*rubs my grubby little hands together* 3, 9, 10, 26, and 62 for riya!
thank youuuuu ��// sixty-nine questions for your ttrpg characters
3. can they accept failure?
lmao no. her mother has big expectations of all her children and wasn’t subtle about it as she raised them + her family members have all been quite successful in all they choose to do + being lowkey bullied at the circle for struggling to progress in her studies + the default de clairmont ego of hers = a girl who hates to fail. to lose. to fall short. she’ll make excuses and jump through hoops to prevent a situation where one could say that she failed. easy example that came up in the first session: her proposing that she try to suss out any magic having happened at the razed hamlet, then pulling out the “just so you all know, this isn’t my area of expertise” excuse moments before she actually attempted the thing. setting up an easy reason to turn to as to why it technically isn’t her fault that she wouldn’t be able to pull it off. lil idiot
9. when in their life were they most scared?
she hasn’t gotten scared all that much in her life, she’s had an incredibly lucky and privileged one after all. even being caught in hunter fell and sitting in that cell she had such blind, cocky confidence that she’d get out either through wits or her mother sending someone to free her. i’d say,,maybe during that silence when warden-recruiter rasha was deciding if he’d also take bash with them as she requested. if there’s one thing in life that riya has never been it’s alone, and she was terrified of becoming so if her friend was left behind. hence the lowkey desperate attempts at persuasion on her part. (and then add on top of that the state he was in, she can’t begin to let herself think what may have happened to him.)
10. what inspired this character’s creation?
the immediate thought that i wanted a PC who could have an incredible amount of character development over the 15 year span of the blight which the game would be about. my characters always have development of some kind, but a good deal of them are already the selfless and empathetic heroes you picture at the head of children’s/young adult stories, y’know? or they at least start close to it. riya came about from the initial concept of “somebody who positively shouldn’t be in the grey wardens to begin with, but at the end of it all could maybe be the one to make that big sacrifice”. we’ll see if she gets close to that :)
26. what type of person pisses them off?
bores. those people who are just Dull. oh so you want to just sit there silently with your nonexistent humor, refuse to join in on the activities and banter, have no discernible passions and probably go isolate yourself?? okay 🙄 riya’s gonna go do fun stuff like fighting and chatting and dancing and smooching and blah blah blah, anything far away from those types of clowns.
62. do they believe in good and evil?
yes, she sees them as a kind of scale. one that people can slide along because they’re capable of a grand array of actions and motivations, never on one end of the spectrum inherently. good/evil are things that you choose to be and do, you aren’t limited to only one and you certainly aren’t bound to one either.
#ch: valeriya de clairmont#these were fuuuun#riya that type who fails at smth and then tries to do it over and over again while growing increasingly more salty lmao#glad no.9 came up after the first session bc it would've been a boring answer otherwise
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@true0neutral - Hazel, half-elf cleric
@fauxfire76 - Darvin, human bard/sorcerer
@hyperewok1 - Remi, human paladin/warlock
@miaaoi - Farideh, dragonborn sorcerer
@lindira - Clarity, tiefling rogue/warlock
Marion - Ava, human ranger
Brian - Barnabus, minotaur fighter
@lovefrometernity - Rylan, wood elf sorcerer
When I said significantly behind, I fucking meant it. At least with this one, it was mostly combat and a play-by-play of combat tends to be boring so this’ll be the highlights and thus relatively short. Okay, here we go.
We actually started with Hazel, Clarity, and Rylan, and Hazel investigating the corpse pile to find out how they died. Didn’t quite notice that they were fused together into an undead monstrosity until various arms tried to grab for her. Combat ensued.
Rylan attempted Blight, did not in fact register that Blight did not work on undead, and then started screaming. This, at least, alerted the ones back at the sled. Ava, Barnabus, and Farideh went to help out the shrieking Rylan while Darvin kept hold of baby Serra.
Clarity got engulfed by the corpse mound. Unfortunately she spent a lot of combat that way.
There were some issues with positioning solely because they were trying to fight a Large creature in a small inn room and the narrow corridor didn’t make things easy.
Rylan got pinned to the ground by a bone lance ... but managed to nat 20 the Athletics check needed to pull the lance out, and from that point just nuked it with Magic Missile.
(Side note: @lovefrometernity sounds a little like a Muppet when they scream, endearingly so.)
Then they heard a not-quite-toddler giggling, because Darvin had been curious and concerned (and a tiny bit metagamey because while he knew where the combat was situated OOC, Darvin didn’t know IC, but never mind, it still made sense IC), had come into the inn ... and, because we don’t leave not-quite-toddlers outside alone in the cold, he took baby Serra with him. Hazel was not impressed. They put Serra through Hazel’s Home Key door immediately ... and then went to look for Remi and Alisaie.
After a break, we moved to Alisaie and Remi, in the cellar. Remi told Alisaie, “Break down the door; I’ll cover you”, at which point Alisaie had to demonstrate that breaking a door down is not necessary when both parties involved have access to Dimension Door. Though that took a few seconds of poorly-timed “married argument”. They ended up a bit away from the sled (reasoning that Darvin could Dimension Door away with Serra if combat happened to follow them, not knowing that Darvin and Serra were in the other makeshift arena) and continued the conversation until the splintering of the outside cellar door indicated the approach of three young white dragons.
Alisaie fought one of them in the air, because she be like that. Remi took on the second on the ground, and when the third went for her, Legolas the dire moose stomped holy hell out if it.
Clarity was having a really bad combat-related day, since a nat 1 on a Fire Bolt ended up with her singeing Legolas.
Farideh was having a lot of fun with Chain Lightning and got her first in-game kill. So both new characters got kills in their first combats, which was nice. Hazel killed the second with Sacred Flame, and as for Alisaie ... well ... two nat 20s when raging, plus Darvin’s d10 inspiration die added to damage... Basically she took Darvin’s inspirational call of “I want to see its head fly at least fifty yards” literally.
They decided to not spend any time in the Blind Harpy building but did stay on the grounds overnight so they could investigate the cellar in the morning. Mostly because when she went to skin, scale and butcher the dragons, they found some distressing black splotches on the hide.
Be warned; what comes in the following two sessions is eldritch horror of the worst kinds. I’ll try to keep it detail-light but they saw some unpleasant shit.
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Days grow ever shorter as the cold deepens across Fódlan, sprinkling the first powders of hoarfrost from its icy hand. Roaring fires become the eye of every household, a halo of red to match that which cloaks the silhouettes of wolves under the growing moon. Their distant howls strike fear into the hearts of shepherds in the dark.
The north winds of Faerghus bring not only the promise of winter, but whispers of concern surrounding a particular Kingdom nobleman. Rumor has it that this man has been acting strangely - erratic one day and lethargic the next, occasionally mumbling gibberish under his breath. His sudden disappearance has resulted in calls for the Church to investigate. After the fiasco in Leicester, however, those who are called to look into the matter have been ordered to shed their uniforms and make their identities a secret. As eastern Faerghus settles in for an impending snowstorm, no one will bat an eye at travelers searching for warmth and shelter.
Golden Deer Mission: Investigate Duke Philip!
GD Mission Board
Faerghus' winter storms come early this year. The bone-deep chill you feel as a strong wind blows through your group is worse than the priests back at school forewarned. Unless you're planning to become a popsicle, you should do as the Faerghans do and try to build yourself some shelter.
You stick out like a sore thumb in your school uniforms, and they're not quite enough to keep you warm either. On your travels, you come across a ransacked village, scorched and trampled... it's an opportunity to find more appropriate clothes, even if you're mixed on the idea of becoming a second group of bandits. What’s more, the destruction seems fairly recent...
Ill-prepared for the weather as you are, you manage to get lost in the forest just outside of the location you’re supposed to be investigating. Part of your group builds a fire to stay warm as the sun begins to sink, while the other sets out to regain their bearings. It’s just as dusk sets in that the trees come alive with low moaning and the sound of something being dragged through the leaf litter. You brace for a monster, but instead you find humans - around half a dozen - with ashen skin and their eyes rolled back into their heads. One swings at someone in your party and sends them flying into a tree, but unfortunately your attacks aren’t so potent. Standard weapons bounce right off of these things. Fortunately for you, Nessie of the Knights of Seiros is with you, and one strike from her gauntlets reveals the monster’s weakness: Relics. [Grants +1 Reason or +1 Brawling]
With Nessie’s help, you make it to the village at last. There seems to be some sort of ritual or festival going on - one that doesn’t correspond to any holiday you’ve heard of. Not to mention that decor seems half-rotted already, and the houses look to have been neglected for weeks. There are people in dark cloaks, their faces concealed, shuffling in between crowds of those same corpse-like monsters you fought in the forest. Except Nessie recognizes a handful of them by name, and you come to the cold realization that these are people. Dressed in robes yourself, you go unnoticed by whoever is leading this strange ritual. Try to keep a low profile as you observe. [Grants +1 Faith]
You’re on the lookout for a Duke Philip - the man supposedly in charge of this village, and the one whose report you initially received. There’s a house at the far end of the village with doors and windows both completely boarded up. But through a hole, you manage to see a glimpse of a shadow pacing back and forth at all hours of the day. The cloaked figures in the village also seem especially interested in this place, as there are often three or four patrolling the area at any given time. Make too much of a commotion and your mission will be in jeopardy.
NEW ! As time goes on, you begin to notice a pattern. Occasionally one of the villagers will be called to the house on the far end of the village. Some never return. Others return more irritable and irrational, similar to the people you discovered in the forest. It's reason enough to try investigating the building more thoroughly. You find a way in through a trap door, where stairs lead you down into a basement, dark save for the familiar glow of magical energy. It's hard to comprehend what half of these contraptions are for, and even harder to make your way around the room. Your foot catches on something, and clanging metal precedes a strange "beeping" sound that comes from a tall tower-like object in the center of the room. You already have a bad feeling about this, and the bolt of thunder magic that shoots from the tower only confirms it.
NEW ! Over the past few days, the buzzing noise in your ears has gotten louder and louder. It breaks your focus and deafens your thoughts, and as your friends approach you and voice their concerns, your only thought is to push back against them and shut them up. Perhaps permanently. As your mind begins to fray under whatever has been influencing the villager's, can your friends bring you back to your senses?
NEW ! It started with only a few to begin with, not enough to prove conspicuous. But as the month drags on, there's no two ways about it: the shambling villagers going through the worst of this curious blight share at the least one thing in common. Each of them bears a lance, all the more suspicious for how normal the weapons appear at a glance. A closer look may reveal more to the puzzle, though that will first involve prying a villager from their prize - an endeavour that will require planning lest you bring the horde of them upon yourself. [Grants +1 Lance]
Non-Mission Tasks
The local cats and dogs of the monastery have been anxious recently. One of the students, who had been known to play with them and leave them food, has recently gone missing. Your investigation into the matter leads you behind the abandoned cathedral, where you find a giant Demonic Wolf crouched over her body. As it licks her hands, growling and whining, you spot a bright pink ribbon tied around its neck, nestled in its matted fur. The wolf takes notice of you, steps forward protectively, and growls low.
As the days grow colder, students balk at the idea of walking around outside in the cold, especially late at night. Whispers of a shortcut quickly spread through the student body: if you're coming from the library, you can go through the gallery hall to get back to the dorms. It's not long until this path is marred by rumors of an armored thief stealing people's books and essays late at night. There's a reward if you unmask the criminal, but soon enough you find out that there's more to this criminal than you thought. Too bad the realization only comes when one of the armored knights on display is magically brought to life, brandishing its sword at you. [Grants +1 Sword]
Cold weather is on the rise, and the students are eager for new games to entertain themselves with. Luckily for them, the mage club has been happy to provide! Inspired by the visiting wyvern flock last moon, they have devised a new contraption: the magicanical bull! Combining magic and mechanical parts, this faux bull does its very best to throw its rider off its back. The name of the game is to last as long as you can! How long can you hold on before you fall? [Grants +1 Riding]
The staff of Garreg Mach are calling for volunteers! On a nearby snowy mountain sits a large, abandoned tower from days long past. Lady Rhea wishes to bring this building to this century and create a recreational space for the students. There are floors to sweep and beds to make, but the discovery of a large hot spring tempts you to play hooky....
With only weeks to practice for the White Heron Cup, students busy themselves by ordering their ball attire and practicing their dance moves. Even the stodgiest grump can't help but feel energized by the excitement in the air.
NEW ! A recent snowstorm at the base of the Oghma Mountains has blown a group of lumberjacks into Garreg Mach's castle town. The Society of Axe Personnel (proudly referring themselves as "SAP") are grateful for the assistance that the Church has offered, and in return they decided to put together a lumberjack skill competition! Practice climbing trees, logrolling in the fishing pond, and carving wooden statues with your axe! [Grants +1 Axe]
NEW ! Strange magical happenings are a dime a dozen these days, and the administration has taken notice. For the students' safety, the faculty have devised a new winter session course in defending against magical attacks, geared towards those with little resistance. If the sight of heavy armor and broad iron shields doesn't earn a groan from the students, the words "mandatory for all Officers Academy students" in the course description certainly will. However, the talented mages in the student body have some tricks up their sleeves. One morning you arrive at class with the armor already in use, the students using their shields to bash at a flaming ball of magic and bring it closer to the goalposts on one side of the field. One of the players notices you and calls out. They just invented this cool new game, do you want to play? [Grants +1 Heavy Armor]
Frequently Asked Questions
How does the divided task board work?
This season’s mission is assigned to the Golden Deer. Therefore, tasks from the ‘GD Mission Task Board’ must be undertaken by someone that is affiliated with the Golden Deer.
Tasks from the ‘Non-Mission Task Board’ have no house restriction and can be undertaken by anyone.
These aren’t the only threads I can do, right?
Of course not! These are just prompts to help give some ideas of possibilities. You’re always free and encouraged to make up your own threads. You’re also more than welcome to worldbuild on your own, using these prompts as a base.
How do I claim the skill points?
In order to qualify for the skill point, the thread must clearly allude to the listed task and preferably feature the task being completed; however, the point can still be claimed even if your muses narratively fail the task (failure is sometimes just as fun to write as success, after all). You do not need to message the masterlist to claim your skill point.
Can I only do one task?
Nope, you can do as many as you’d like with as many different partners as you’d like! You can do the same task with more than one person! However, you can only claim the skill point for each task once.
What if my partner leaves or drops a skill point thread?
If the dropped thread has at least 2 notes (not counting likes, only reblogs with replies in them) and you have hit at least 400 words on your end, you may still claim the skill point.
Remember to use (and track!) the #toa open tag for any open threads, and you can also post a link to your open thread on the appropriate Discord channel! If you have any other questions or concerns, shoot us a message through the masterlist or on Discord!
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Fic writer meme!
Was tagged by @hawkeish @inquisitoracorn @hollyand-writes @musetta3 and @noire-pandora so it’s probably time I do this thing. Will tag @midnightprelude @oftachancer @silversynthesis and @fandomn00blr who have probably all already done this or at least been tagged but I lose track (let me know if you did this already) Name: I’m blarrghe on here and blarghe with only one r on AO3, keepin’ it simple. Fandoms: Just Dragon Age really Most popular oneshot: Anders, Attraction, Other Things That Start With A Most popular multichapter: The Merrill Sessions, by like, a lot. Which is a tad distressing because I’m not 100% on where it’s going yet... Actual worst part of writing: research probably. The other day I went “Halward Pavus is a venture capitalist!” and then I had to go learn what venture capitalists even do and on god it’s so boring. How you choose your titles: Depends. A few have shakespeare-inspired titles (regardless of any actually related shakespeare inspiration in the plot, but y’know, it’s shakespeare, so it’s in there somewhere.) My wips usually have silly titles so I just try to grab on to something from the story. Do you outline: Yes, to varying degrees. I usually write out a sort of point-form plan of events, and in places it might be elaborated on to the point of having full blocks of dialogue or basically perfect scenes. And it changes as the story shapes up. Every now and then a one-shot just pops out fully formed all by itself though. Usually between 2-4am or while I’m on a bus.
Ideas I probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?
- prequel fic to my longfic Shall We Not Revenge? that follows my OC Leila through the Fifth Blight when she was a child fleeing Kinloch Hold to the point where she joins the Inquisition, which would feature my Warden Surana and my Hawke both as background characters since she passes through both of their stories unseen. It would be very OC heavy, feature a lot of bardic intrigue in Orlais, and probably no one would read it but it would be a really fun and cool way to connect all my stories.
- Prequel fic for Taren Lavellan because wow I really did not have to go so hard on fleshing out his backstory but it’s all there. Would feature sexy sailors, a ton of Dalish lore that I just fully make up, and the Found Family trope. Would love to do it as a handful of comics one day or smth.
- post tresspasser “Veronica Mars style” canon-compliant college mystery fic where Taren goes to the University of Orlais to be a giant nerd/guest professor. It would feature Dorian being framed for murder and silly college roommate drama.
- Um, finishing Shall We Not Revenge. I’ll get back to it eventually. And then probably rewrite half of it because it’s a goddamn mess.
- A bunch of heavy metal power ballads about gay elves.
Callouts @ Me: I’ve never kept a regular schedule in my life. Best writing traits: People have said I am good at capturing character voices and I’d tend to agree. I think my dialogue is pretty good and I’ve definitely gotten better at descriptive metaphor of late. Also my OCs are very fleshed out & you should care about them.
Spicy Tangential Opinion: I’ve read so many good takes in response to this question over the last few days that it’s hard to think of something new to say! @inquisitoracorn in particular said something really good about recognition being more luck than skill which was true and also comforting.
Ok this has probably been said in a lot of ways but yesterday I went on a little rant because in this house we read a lot of comics and a lot of mythology. So recently it’s been the Poetic Edda and I found myself thinking about art and stories and human nature and Thor, who in Marvel comics is so wholly divorced from his Eddic origins. He’s walkin’ around in blue jeans and kissing scientists in a modern setting while having plotlines that are vaguely Norse-mythology-inspired and also other things. Meanwhile the mythology itself is just an accumulation of years of oral traditions that changed over time, and so on and so on. And so if a writer were to take the Thor of the MCU and stick him in a story based on like, a Jane Austen novel, the only difference there between that person and a Marvel writer is whether or not they’re getting paid.
Anyway the point is one part “fanfic is real writing” and one part “Information Wants To Be Free”. We talk about fanfic being great practice as if it’s practice for real writing, and while it is great practice, it’s also not actually any different to tell stories for free with characters and tropes and themes you took from other places because that’s all art ever is, anyway. And people do incredible things with themes and new riffs on existing thoughts and references to classics and on and on in fanfic! For the most part I think people in fandoms tend to understand and appreciate this, but because Anyone Can Put Anything On the Internet (even if it’s bad!) there’s a bit of stigma over the “realness” of the art. But making stories is what humans do and they should get to do it in whatever capacity they want. Art should be weird and personal and stolen from everywhere; there’s no such thing as a wholly original idea because that’s not how skills are learned. You gotta learn ‘em from somewhere -- from other people’s art. As long as you are not actively harming others or inciting harm then just like, make shit.
Oh also, that all said, you should definitely read real books to get better at writing.
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Abyssal Speedmapping Session #10
By various authors led by Obsidian
10 maps
2014
https://www.doomworld.com/idgames/levels/doom2/Ports/a-c/abyspe10
MAP01: Dirge of the Blighted Ovum by Obsidian
The introduction to this new project throws us into a small, compact map that seems reminiscent of fireblu but in a more attractive way. The glitched visuals and the use of two-color textures remind me of Tron, creating an interesting environment that matches the square box architecture. With only a handful of monsters, the action unfolds quickly in effective single combat that works to keep us on our toes. With no secrets or further exploration, this map works effectively without needing to be extremely complex or bombastic. A solid example of a good introduction. 3/5
MAP02: Tyson Fun! by Darsycho
As short as the previous one but with a simpler style and more adaptable to the eyes. This is a classic map in terms of structure and design, without major revolutions or anything special to offer. The title indicates that it is designed for Tyson, but if we bring the shotgun from the previous map it is slightly faster, although doing it in Tyson is balanced enough to offer a good minute of fun. The combat is simple and the layout understandable, go left and then right and that's it, you have completed it. It's not bad, but it's not great either, it's just average. 3/5
MAP03: Jimmy Has An Essay Due Tomorrow But Instead He's Speedmapping With These Assholes by Jimmy
Jimmy is considered a master of the art of speedmapping, and here we can see that even in his early days he was able to handle the concept in a theatrical and fantastic way. This is a medium sized map with a more practical and classic design that shows us an interesting facet of the project. With simple but attractive visuals and a decent queue of enemies, the map follows half-traditional routes that create an environment quite attractive and entertaining to play, as well as slightly challenging at times. While my enjoyment was being quite high due to the map's great length, it is interrupted with a stupid exit at the end of the map that I still don't understand exactly how to overcome. A dozen Archies on top of you and I don't know what the fuck to do. Mind you, this is a common thing in A.S.S. so, anyway, how's that? 3/5
MAP04: Nazi Tittyflake Tornadoes by Unholypimpin
Such an extravagant title brings with it a map that is relatively simple. This map has an air of shovelware shit, and for some reason that gives me a charismatic charm that makes me feel graceful. It's a simple, straightforward map with no major problems or bugs. On the outside it looks pretty simple but as we go deeper we find some pretty hellish and rusty textures that remind me of Silent Hill, as well as a bunch of blue Nazi sergeants ready to attack us and a few more surprises involving Cyberdemons and a few little spiders. Not bad, very enjoyable and for some reason I can't get out of my head that feeling that I just played a hidden gem of shovelware from the 90s. That's good in my book! 3/5
MAP05: Cookies 'n Wine by ClonedPickle
Fairly square and open in the beginning, presenting a simple layout with bland combat without much complication. The map then changes to cave-like interiors and launches us into an adventure of hunting spectres and so on. It ends with an obligatory death-exit, in my opinion, and that's it. Nothing more, nothing less. This is a fairly simple map that is not complicated at all and follows a somewhat boring system at times. With quite simple visuals and without much work, it is probably one of the most mediocre of the WAD. 2/5
MAP06: Spatterblue 2: Mosh Galosh by Alfonzo
It is hard to believe that this map is a speedmap, but the truth is that it contains certain features that give it that air, but above all, it overcomes the restrictions and works perfectly well under its limits. The blue visual theme and the compact but excellent way of creating a well designed circuit layout make this a very enjoyable and challenging map under its own justifiable terms. It is fast, intense and has a good flow with no bugs or major problems. Even the little secrets feel like they blend perfectly under the established system. It may be quite small, but it's so much fun that it's among my favorites of this session. Pretty cool and done as it should be. Speedmapping done right! 4/5
MAP07: Industrial Butt Scream by Rottking
If you like Quake, this map will give you a good game. Quite brown, enclosed and with an industrial feel. Designed with a system based on a block layout, the map is simple in its flow but has enough touches to make it entertaining, attractive and fun in gameplay and action. Without major complications and with a basic closed layout. Not bad at all! 3/5
MAP08: Alfonzo and Gary Oldman Visit The Museum of Social Decay! by Tarnsman
Oh oh, I hope you like fireblu and pain. This map has a style that reminds me of the first one, but it opens its limits and shows us a more bloody and intense frontier. Plenty of chaingunners serve as the main appetizer, but things get even fatter when we're thrown into an insane room with dozens of archies and a Cyberdemon for company. With a super simple and compact layout, the real juice of this map is centered on its atrocious yet cool gameplay. A bit bland visually at times but interesting and engaging. 3/5
MAP09: Avoid by General Rainbow Bacon
More blue and red but in a style that reminds me of a dungeon. This dark map establishes an eerie atmosphere thanks to the silence and anticipation, but ends up being a traditional map with a few explosive surprises near the end. Simple, without much to offer and quite short. Not bad, not good. Decent. 3/5
MAP10: Half-Assed Fun! by Darsycho
The title gives us an idea of the type of map it is. Half finished, half fucked up, but decent by its own standards. Dark and full of Spectres, the real fun of the map lies in the BFG spamming and the pile of monsters we have to kill. Difficulty is almost nil, aside from the first room that features some fun combat, after that it's just point-and-click or fire-and-forget. I guess it's entertaining enough under ASS's own characteristics to say it does a good enough job. But it's meh in my opinion. 2/5
End.
Overall:
» Ah, speedmapping. We all love it, we all hate it. An art as old as the history of WADs itself, and one that has proven to bring with it both the worst mappers in history and the best. It's a difficult technique to acquire, but one that with time and practice can yield fantastic results. The very idea of limiting ourselves to a certain set time can be detrimental at worst, but at best, when we give the tools to an artist looking for a challenge, masterful work can result. Here we have a group of illustrious intellectuals who have come together to form a cooperation that is as unique as it is discordant. One where love and hate mix to enjoy one single thing: creating maps. Abyssal Speedmapping Sessions is all about speed, asses and Alfonzo. So, let's dive into this hole and see how deep it goes. After a somewhat long break from the first sessions, I suddenly had the urge to return to this iconic series that from time to time hides more than a few gems, or a total disaster. Luckily, session #10 seems to be a good balance between shitposting and good map design. Very entertaining maps, indeed! Mappers had the option to choose 3 textures from: Erratic Texture Pack 1, DrDoctor Texture Pack and Marcaek's Super Special FIREBLU Ensemble! So most of the maps are quite simple to look at but contain enough touches to establish a good visual rhythm. Considering there are no stock textures, that alone gives it some appeal. Especially striking are the fireblu textures, which create a rather techy atmosphere that reminds me of the original Tron movie. A certain visual touch, from a couple of colors that manage to create enough depth to establish a sense of place. Not all maps are entirely blue with red, and there are a few surprises that turn the color around and bring attractive designs. Quake-inspired maps and some that look like sapphires to boot. Undoubtedly, even if most of the maps have a rather simple and plain layout, no map is truly ugly and some even stand out for having a solid visual quality. The sessions stand out for being crazy gameplay as well. It's often hard to balance something if you have a time limit, especially if it's only two hours, but the guys here know what they're doing... mostly. Most of the maps throw you right into the action, trying to create a tactical feeling that tells you how to move and at the same time how to fight. The maps aren't fucking difficult but maintain a solid and balanced challenge that welcomes all types of players, in my opinion. While certain combat can feel a bit simple at times, overall, each map brings something different to the table and creates a nice variety of treats to try.
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SPIDER PLANT Chlorophytum comosum
ABOUT
Also known as the "airplane plant", the spider plant is a fast-growing plant that traces its origins to the tropical and southern regions of Africa and is named for its slender long leaves and the spidery stems its babies grow from. The plant was especially popular in the 70's, 80's, and 90's, but remains a household favorite due to being remarkably low maintenance. It is also valued for its air-purifying abilities.
PROFILE
DIFFICULTY No-fuss maintenance. Highly recommended for beginners or those with a "black thumb".
SIZE Small to medium. Fits on most shelves and tables, and also makes a good hanging plant.
TOXICITY Safe for animals and humans, although mildly hallucinogenic to cats, much like catnip.
IDEAL GROWING CONDITIONS
WATER | weekly waterings Allow soil to dry between waterings. On average, watering once a week should be sufficient. Make sure water is room temperature to avoid shocking your plant.
CLIMATE | average humidity; average temperature Suggested temperatures are between 65-85°F / 18-29°C. Temperatures cooler than 50°F / 10°C have the potential to cause damage, so avoid drafty windows. Most indoor climates suit this plant just fine.
LIGHT | bright, indirect sunlight Direct sun will scorch leaves, so keep spider plants out of hot rays or sit them behind window sheers. They can also tolerate low light as long as they see at least a little bit of sun.
SPIDER PLANT MAINTENANCE "A recipe for growing a healthy, happy spider plant in the comfort of your own home."
YOU WILL NEED:
Well-draining soil
A pot with good drainage
Liquid fertilizer
Filtered water or rainwater (tap works fine if you let it sit overnight first)
Pruning shears or scissors
DIRECTIONS:
First, make sure your plant is comfortable in its environment by making sure both the soil and the pot it lives in allow for good drainage; lack of drainage increases the chances of root rot. Second, make sure that you're fertilizing your plant 1-2 times a month during its growing season. A spider plant's typical growing season is during spring and summer when it gets the most sunlight. Once you have made your plant comfortable, it is important that your plant receives occasional pruning. Snip the ends of the leaves at a diagonal angle if they turn brown. If a leaf dies or becomes discolored beyond saving, cut off the leaf near the base of the plant. Failing to remove dead material will make your plant expend precious energy on "lost cause" leaves and prevents growth.
Note: do not prune more than 20% of the plant during one session. Pruning gradually as new growth comes in is far healthier. Don't forget to repot every other year to accommodate growth, trim roots, and replenish soil. If your plant is too big for its home, size up about 2" from the previous pot.
LEAF COLORS (and what they mean)
WEAK, PALE YELLOW LEAVES | too much light, soil imbalance Your spider plant should never be in direct sunlight as it will scorch or bleach the leaves. Yellowing leaves are also indicators of shock when the soil is full of salt or fluoride deposits. Avoid this by fertilizing sparingly and using filtered water or rainwater.
FLIMSY, DROOPY YELLOW / BROWN LEAVES | too little light, too much water, not enough nutrients Spider plants can tolerate low light, but not no light; make sure your plant is at least in the middle of the room so it can see sunlight, if not near a shaded window. Overwatering wilts plants but can also lead to root rot, so check roots if wilting is severe. Also consider whether your plant needs fertilizer or new soil.
DRY, BROWN LEAVES / LEAF TIPS | water stress, too much light, soil imbalance Sometimes brown tips accompany dying yellow leaves and they mean much the same thing. Either your plant is toasty, dry, or thirsty, or the soil is full of too many harmful minerals.
BROWN / BLACK LEAF SPOTS | infection/blight, pests Large dark blotches may indicate a blight or infection. Smaller spots and sticky leaves may indicate an infestation, so inspect your plant for droppings, bugs, or chewing.
LUSH GREEN LEAVES | A happy plant! Good work!
TREATING YOUR SPIDER PLANT
DRY BROWN TIPS | Use a sterilized pair of pruning shears or scissors and snip the tips at a diagonal angle to remove damaged material.
BLIGHT SPOTS / DISCOLORED LEAVES | Use a sterilized pair of shears or scissors to cut off the entire leaf close to the base of the plant. If blighted, keep away from other plants in your home so they don't also get infected.
PESTS | Spray leaves with a diluted insecticide. Neem oil spray is gentle and treats for a large variety of pests. Homemade dish soap sprays combat mites and aphids. Any sprays using peppers, ginger, or other sources of capsaicin help deter mites.
ROOT ROT | Take your plant out of its pot, rinse the roots, and leave roots naked to dry. Trim any clear, soggy roots and repot. Depending on the amount of rot, your plant may be beyond rescue as this condition is often most fatal.
ROOT BOUND | If the roots are poking above soil or creeping out of drainage holes it has likely outgrown its home. Repot in a pot that's about 2" larger than the current one.
VIRIDESCENT THUMB
June 23, 2020
Plant Care Guide 1: Spider Plant
For indoor plant guides, plant inspiration, and more, follow @viridescentthumb on Tumblr.
#spider plant#plants#airplane plant#chlorophytum comosum#plantcore#green#viridescent thumb#plant mom#plantblr#plant care#plant tips#plant guide#nature
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Session 7
As the party gathered themselves and took a short rest, Lia distanced herself and eventually turned to seek solitude. Skulking off into the darkness the ranger left behind the group of adventurers who soon came across an unlikely figure that had followed the carnage they had left in their wake.
Greeting them was a dwarf, a holy symbol upon his shield. Thirgrim’s journey finally led him out of the depths of the Underdark and into the company of the others who welcomed him along on their own quest. Looking a little worse for wear and in dire need of the strength in numbers, Thirgrim joined Theryn, Chester, Raivyre and Nygarth further into the last depths of the Citadel.
While investigating a red marble statue of a dragon, the party encountered a shadow they swiftly defeated to continue down to the Grove now nearby. Belak’s personal study yielded the searching band some final rewards before they finally laid their eyes upon the Gulthias Tree.
The path towards the looming tree was not without peril, brambles hindering the advance as well as a few remaining goblins and twig blights trying to halt the group to no avail.
At Belak’s side they could see Sharwyn and Sir Bradford. Both appearing under a spell turning their skin to bark and their minds controlled. A fight had been anticipated and as Theryn finally spotted the looming frog within the tree’s branches they engaged. Chester vanished to the sides to flank from the shadows and deal the sole damage to Belak while Theryn denied retalliation and placed a fog cloud that shielded all from sight of the hostile party across.
Both Belak and Sir Bradford found their end swiftly, Sir Bradford had fought his way towards the party and was subdued rather than slain. Later followed by Lady Sharwyn, both unconscious as the party worked to take out the last twig blights and gathered the possessions of Belak, including a staff crafted from the Gulthias Tree that Theryn tested as others slept.
Now facing the unknown outcome of the fates of those they had come to rescue, the party looked upon the tree and the spell binding both of their charges to its malicious nature. In a moment of hopeful inspiration Theryn encouraged Thirgrim to infuse it with the healing energies he wields, resulting in golden veins of power to rupture through the tree’s bark and splitting its trunk without definite results.
Raivyre was called in to aid, pairing together to surge their divine powers in combined effort into the Gulthias tree. With a resounding crack it split, releasing Sir Bradford and Lady Sharwyn from its grasp. Both shaken and rattled when the party set up around them to sleep and offer them their words of comfort.
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Joniss Babysitter AU
Here’s the third instalment of this cutesy story inspired by @polar-biscuit and @frostbite883 and the @jonissheadcanons babysitter au thread. I’ve made a couple minor changes to the earlier chapters for grammar and clarity, but nothing major other than specifying the years in which they took place. If you haven’t read them or you need a refresher, you can find Part 1 here and Part 2 here.
Part 3: 2005
Puberty drove somewhat of a wedge between Johanna and Katniss. In retrospect, Jo knew it was mostly her fault, but at the time it seemed inevitable. Her interests changed as she started to notice boys (and girls, though she didn’t talk about that). Her body changed too, and suddenly the height gap that had been shrinking grew again. Not by much, as Jo stopped growing at 5’4, but it was enough to annoy Katniss because it made her feel like a little kid again. Jo didn’t help with that, to be fair.
Though she had a couple flings and the odd kiss in her early teens, Johanna only got her first real boyfriend in grade ten. They met at the skatepark the week before school started, when Jo finally got the nerve to go after receiving a board for her fifteenth birthday a couple weeks earlier. She’d been practicing on the street but didn’t want to make a fool out of herself and get made fun of by the boys. Blight was there that day, and far from making fun of her, he offered to teach her some new tricks.
Jo’s attraction to him was instantaneous. He carried himself with confidence and had beautiful eyes, and despite being sixteen he already had muscles and a beard. Jo was a fan of that, and of him. Katniss was not, though. To be fair, she didn’t really like most people, but she especially had it in for Blight. She only saw the guy twice, but had nothing but scowls for him. Not that Jo could blame her, given the circumstances.
The first time Katniss saw him was when Johanna took her and Prim to a park a little farther away than the one they’d usually go to. Jo claimed she was taking them there because it had an astroturf field, but it was also the one with the skatepark. Needless to say, she had ulterior motives. Prim had followed in Katniss’s footsteps and was playing soccer that fall as well, so once Jo got the sisters to start passing around she moseyed over to the skatepark. Blight skated over when he saw her leaning against the side of the halfpipe, hopping off his board with a brilliant smile that set off butterflies in Jo’s stomach.
“Not skating today?” he asked, seeing she was lacking her board.
“Nah, I’m working. Babysitting my mom’s coworker’s kids.”
“That’s a shame,” remarked Blight. “Tomorrow, maybe?”
Johanna cocked an eyebrow. “Is that an invitation?”
His eyes sparkled. “Not that you need one. But yeah, I’d like it if you came.”
“Maybe I will,” Jo tossed back, willing herself not to blush. Feeling heat starting to creep up her neck despite her best efforts, she nodded at the field and told him, “I should get back. Don’t wanna get fired for slacking off, now.” Before turning away, she fired off a wink.
Just as Jo was coming up on the sisters, Katniss booted a hard pass off course. While Prim turned to chase the ball down and retrieve it, Jo opened her mouth to tease Katniss for missing her target so badly. Before she got the chance, Katniss wheeled to face her, eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Who was that boy?”
“What?” Johanna blinked hard, thrown by the question and the venom behind it. “Just a guy I know.”
Unsatisfied, Katniss grilled her further. “Your boyfriend?”
Deciding to turn the tables and make Katniss the uncomfortable one, Jo pulled on a sly smile and winked. “Not yet.”
That earned Johanna the harshest glower she’d ever seen from Katniss. Before she could comment on it or ask what was wrong, the ball came flying over and hit Katniss in the thigh. Glancing over to a grinning Prim as she trotted back their way, Jo settled on, “At least one of you can aim.”
Barely looking her way, Katniss huffed, “Shut up, Johanna.”
That was the first time it occurred to Johanna that maybe Katniss had a crush on her. But maybe not. She could be jealous of the time and attention Blight was bound to get from Jo, the same way Jo was still jealous of Prim sometimes. It didn’t have to mean that. But the thought stayed in the back of Jo’s mind after that and reared its head every once in a while.
Like the second time Katniss saw Blight, for instance. Though in her defense, she had much more of a right to be upset that time.
A month or so into their relationship, things were starting to progress between Johanna and Blight. And she wanted them to progress faster. When the schoolbell ended their lunchtime makeout session one Thursday, she was especially riled up and frustrated. She couldn’t bring him to her house, she’d get grounded if they got caught kissing there. And the skatepark was no more private than the school. But there was one place…
“Hey, you wanna come over this afternoon and hang out?”
Blight’s eyebrows arched. “Your parents won’t mind?”
“They won’t be there,” she assured him. Of course, she neglected to tell him that it wasn’t her house.
Both Mr. and Mrs. Everdeen were working late that day. Jo’s instructions were to cook dinner and make sure the girls did their homework. Upon joining the kids at the house, she started with the latter, sending them up to their rooms. She said they could holler if they needed any help, but sincerely hoped they wouldn’t.
Blight knocked at the front door about ten minutes later, and Jo dragged him inside and into a kiss by the front of his hoodie. Walking backward, she guided him down the hall and into the living room at the back of the house. Before she had a chance to pull him down onto the couch, he scooped her up and placed her on the cushions, covering her with his body. Even better.
Things got heated quickly. Within minutes, their shirts were off and Blight was lacing kisses across the tops of Johanna’s breasts. She could tell he was teasing her on purpose, and had half a mind to rip her own bra off. Before she had the chance, though, they heard a door open upstairs, followed by footsteps. As they rushed to pull the discarded shirts back on, Katniss’s voice echoed down the stairs. “Jo, I’m done!” she called, eager feet quick on the stairs. “Wanna play Sonic and get your butt kicked?”
When Katniss bounded into the living room, she stopped short, face draining of color. Johanna and Blight were fully dressed again, but still rather cozy on the couch and looking frazzled and guilty. And Katniss was naive, sure, but not a total idiot. That much was clear from her reaction. Mouth hanging open, some cocktail of emotions was welling up in her eyes.
Overcome by embarrassment, Jo demanded, “Don’t you know it’s rude to stare? Get the hell outta here!” When the girl didn’t move, she pointed to the front door and insisted, “Are you deaf, brainless? Outside. Go climb a tree or something.”
Finally, an emotion she could readily recognize crossed Katniss’s face. Hurt. Her mouth moved like she wanted to speak, but no words came out. She settled for shooting Johanna a scathing glare and walking away.
“Who was that? Your sister?” Blight asked as Katniss stormed down the hall.
“Forget it,” she said, waving him off. “Just one of the kids I babysit.”
Blight’s eyes grew wide as he put the pieces together. “And this is their house? You’re supposed to be babysitting?” Jo nodded and he chuckled in disbelief. “Someone’s a bad girl. That’s hot.”
“How hot?” she asked, sliding his hand back under her shirt. She heard the door slam a moment later, but was too preoccupied to care.
Prim didn’t finish her homework for another half an hour, and that was enough time for… things. Not everything, but some things. A few minutes before she came downstairs, Jo saw Blight off with another kiss and fondle of his chest at the door. When Prim appeared and asked where Katniss was, Jo remembered what she had done and felt a faint pang of guilt. A faint pang was all she could register at the time, thanks to the high she was still riding. But that didn’t stop her from worrying, so she suggested she and Prim go ride bikes and look for Katniss outside. Well, Jo didn’t have her bike with her, but she had her skateboard.
Turns out Katniss had taken Jo’s orders quite literally, perched in a tall tree in the park a few blocks away. Prim spotted her first and peeled off that way, biking across the grass. Jo hopped off her board and chased after her on foot. “Katniss!” called Prim when she got to the base of the tree. “Katniss, come down and play with me! I brought the ball!” she added, plucking the soccer ball proudly from the basket on the front of her bike.
Katniss barely bothered to look down. “I don’t wanna play soccer, Prim.”
“You always wanna play,” countered Prim. Confusion clouded her face as she turned to Jo. “What’s wrong with her?”
“I dunno,” murmured Jo. It wasn’t exactly a lie. She wasn’t entirely sure what about the situation had set Katniss off or how she was feeling. Only that she was hurt over something. She didn’t get a chance to ask until she had to take the kids home and start making dinner. Even once Prim coaxed her down from the tree, Katniss avoided speaking to or even looking at Jo the whole time they were at the park. Prim noticed too, Jo could tell, but she opted not to get involved, trying to cheer her sister up in other ways. It didn’t work.
When they made it back to the house, Johanna held Katniss up at the front stoop as Prim climbed the few steps to the porch. Prim looked back long enough to see what was happening, then smartly disappeared inside. Once the door closed behind her, Jo tried once more to make eye contact with Katniss.
“What’s wrong?” Still Katniss refused to acknowledge her, glaring sullenly at the ground. Johanna sighed. “Look, I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings when I yelled at you.”
“What do you care?” growled Katniss. Finally she lifted her head, eyes blazing. “I’m just the kid you babysit.” Planting her hands on her hips, she steamed, “You’re too cool for me now?”
Forcing a grin onto her lips, Johanna threw the sass right back at her. “I’ve always been too cool for you, Katniss.” Katniss scoffed in disbelief and started to stomp up the stairs, but Jo held her back once more. “Hey! Come on, I’m just teasing.”
“It’s not fucking funny!” Clearly agitated, Katniss had a hard time forcing those words out. It worked out for Johanna, who needed a second to blink away her shock at the profanity. It was not at all something she was used to hearing from Katniss. There was no question, she was pissed. Gathering her wits, Katniss pressed on. “I thought we were friends.”
“We are,” Johanna assured her calmly, hoping it would rub off on her. It didn’t work.
“Really?” snapped Katniss. “I don’t humiliate my friends to make myself look better.” She cocked her head, eyes narrowing. “You wouldn’t want to look dumb in front of your boyfriend, would you? Being friends with a middle schooler.”
Johanna waved her off. “You’ll understand when you’re older.”
“No,” stated Katniss. “I don’t think I will.” Then she turned and stormed inside, once again slamming the door behind her.
Once the hormones and embarrassment had time to wear off, Jo actually started feeling really bad about this. It bothered her all evening and all day Friday, distracting her from school and from Blight. The guilt was bad enough that she decided she had to fix this as soon as possible. So that afternoon after school she grabbed a couple spoons from her house, swung by the corner store, then skated over to the Everdeens’ house again.
Katniss answered the door, as Jo had been hoping for. The younger girl gave her a few seconds of side eye before starting to close the door in her face, but Jo stuck her hand out to block it. Opening her backpack, she pulled out two pint-sized cartons of ice cream. “Peanut butter chocolate, your favourite.” When Katniss continued to silently glare at her, she tipped her head and implored, “Please, let me make this up to you.”
The girl’s voice came out stilted and sharp as she finally spoke. “You think you can buy me off with ice cream?”
“No,” Johanna answered quietly. Pausing a beat, she flashed Katniss a charming, disarming smile. “I know I can.” She nodded outside as Katniss narrowed her eyes, trying to fight off a smile of her own. Finally Katniss shook her head and sighed, joining her on the porch. She willingly sat beside Jo and took the carton and spoon offered to her, but refused to make eye contact. So Jo stared into her pint of moose tracks as she said, “I’m sorry about yesterday. That was a real douchey thing to do.”
Despite her efforts to look away, Katniss’s eyes flicked over inquisitively. “What’s ‘douchey’ mean?”
Johanna took a second to rephrase. “It was not a very nice thing to do. I wasn’t thinking with my head.”
“What were you thinking with?”
“Not my head,” she repeated pointedly.
Picking at one of her bitten-off nails, Katniss murmured, “Your heart?”
That led to another awkward pause. “No. Not really.” Wanting badly to get off that topic, Johanna quickly continued, “I won’t bring him around again, okay? And I won’t fuck off to the skate park. When we’re hanging out, it’ll just be us.”
Katniss snorted. “You mean when you’re babysitting me?”
“You’re eleven, you don’t need a babysitter anymore. I’m just taking the money because they keep offering it. If I can get paid to hang out with you, that’s a bonus.” Johanna had a feeling the Everdeens kept paying her to babysit because Katniss had so few friends and they wanted her to socialize, but obviously she didn’t bring that up.
Unconvinced, Katniss squinted her way. “It’s not because you have to?”
“Of course not,” Johanna declared, playfully knocking knees with her.
This seemed to satisfy Katniss, at least for the moment, and they ate in silence for a bit. Katniss was halfway through her carton when she suddenly asked, “What’s it like, having a boyfriend?”
Johanna almost choked on her ice cream. “What?”
“I mean, how does it make you feel?” clarified Katniss. Eyes on her carton again, she confessed, “There’s a boy in my class who likes me, but he doesn’t make me feel anything.”
Johanna shrugged and pointed out, “You’re kinda young, still.”
“I guess.” Katniss said nothing for several moments, apparently lost in thought. “Do you ever think…”
When she failed to continue, Jo prompted her, “Think what?”
Giving her head a little shake, Katniss mumbled, “Never mind.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
Given her previous suspicions and the content of their conversation, Jo couldn’t help but wonder if Katniss was trying to ask her about girls. Laying a comforting hand on Katniss’s knee, she assured her, “You know, you can talk to me about anything.” Katniss twitched her mouth but didn’t accept the invitation, parting her lips only to shovel ice cream inside.
Johanna shrugged. “Okay. Your loss, kiddo.” Katniss shot her another glare, and Johanna remembered. That was no term of endearment to her.
#comic/jhc adaptation#writing#joniss#fanfic#femslash#thg#au fanfic#polar-biscuit#frostbite883#jonissheadcanons#babysitter au
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Muffins’ Top Ten Best Games of 2016
Best Style: Darkest Dungeon
Good Eldritch Gods this game is amazing. First, yes, I am giving this game my adulation for style, but holy hell does this indie game offer so much more than just a pleasing aesthetic. But, on the topic of style, this game went above any other I played last year. If it's not apparent in the pictures, this game is a 2D side scrolling dungeon crawler RPG. The game takes excellent and loyal inspiration from works of the likes of HP Lovecraft and Edgar Allan Poe. The setting of this game is miserable in the most delightful way. Death, Madness, Fear, Abominations, Horror, Darkness, and so many other cruel machinations flood this game’s setting and story, and goodness did Red Hook stylize this game to fit it. Many contemporary games go with a realistic or overly used pretty and cartoony aesthetic. Darkest Dungeon looks like the sketchbook of a deranged comic artist who’s only reading material in an asylum was the assorted works and poems of Robert Louis Stevenson, and it’s phenominal. The shadows are heavy. Light is dynamic and harsh. Every area to explore has distinct colors and design complemented by unique, visceral, and grotesque enemies to lurk through them. Settings like an eldritch cove populated by pirate specters and deep monstrosities. Or a long abandoned sewer system brimming with a hierarchy of Cannibal pig men. Or an overgrown garden where horrifying mosquito vampire hybrids hold lavish celebrations of the Crimson Court. The Style of this game is so creative and so unique, I have difficulty expressing how refreshing it is. Don’t get me started on the sound. The music varies from stressful resonant ambiance to heart pounding orchestral pieces that are as inspiring as they are maddening. This game has only a single voice actor. Wayne June is the Narrator of this venture of darkness and tribulation and... just... Wow. That’s it. Wow. He’s astounding and adds so much to this game. The writing of each line in Darkest Dungeon is mindblowing. Each word is dripping in erudite cynicism and nihilism that is both poignantly depressing and oddly inspiring. Every character you can have in your party is just as unique and distinct. Highway Men, Abominations, Lepers, Grave Robbers, Crusaders, Bounty Hunters, noble and despicable beings alike fill a giant roster of motley champions finding glory and death in spades. Okay. Now to talk about the gameplay. Forewarning, it’s brutal. Like really brutal. Characters die, go mad, get sick, have personal agendas, develop bad habits, phobias, and weaknesses, enemies are always evenly matched to your party(more often than not they have the advantage over you), and it’s all tied up in a rogue-like package. To be fair, that cruelty is part of what I love about this game. As stressful as every little detail that could go wrong is, there’s always hope. Characters can develop a Virtue when their will is tested. Positive strengths can come from the worst of sessions. Small improvements are always huge leaps. Things can go right. When they do and you know just what is needed to overcome the challenge, it feels great. I remember fighting the Siren for the first time. The battle lasted almost twenty minutes, constantly oscillating between having the upper hand and falling into catastrophic disarray. But by the end of it, I had overcome a challenge and it felt great. The blood pumping fear and intrigue that comes from every encounter is stimulating and requires involvement in the gameplay. It kind of reminds me of playing Arkham board games with my old friends. Every dice roll is tense. Just like every choice is in this game. It offers lot’s of new twists to conventional dungeon crawling and RPGs and is easily one of my favorites in both categories. There is so much to do in this game, it’s insanely wonderful. Plus the drop of the Crimson Court expansion is very welcome. With it, there are new enemies, new blights, a new area, a new character, and even new difficulties including an easier and harder mode. I don’t recommend getting the DLC right away as it will likely kick your butt ten times over. It’s better for players with some experience. If you like Lovecraftian horror, great dungeon crawling, nuanced turned based RPG with lots of customizability, and a sizable challenge, this game is a must play. Remember to always make the best of a bad situation.
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Return of the Obra Dinn and other games coming to Xbox One this week
Return of the Obra Dinn and other games coming to Xbox One this week. Children of Morta (October 15, 2019) IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY. Children of Morta sets its story in a distant land but copes with themes closer to our daily lives that one would expect. It is a story of simple emotions we all know so well and value more than sometimes we dare to admit: love and hope, longing and uncertainty, ultimately loss and sacrifice we are willing to make to save the ones we care the most for. Embark on the adventure of an extraordinary family of heroes. With the Corruption spreading through the land, guardians of the Mountain Morta have to stand up against the ancient evil. But... it's not a story about saving the universe. It’s a story about a valiant family standing together while the world around them is being devoured by darkness. DETAILED DESCRIPTION: FAMILY TIES The Bergson family is prepped and ready for the forthcoming fray. Discover and experience each character’s unique fighting style along with their personalities. Witness their emotions run high as they struggle to help one another return peace to the land. Witness the growth of a family. INHERITED TALENTS Each family member has a different background and expertise, shaping them into a diverse group of Guardians. Some prefer close combat, crushing their enemies with magnificent hammers or slashing away with a keen sword or dagger. Others perform at a distance with skillful bow use or extraordinary spells. Discover the distinct playstyle of each member and select the one that suits you! ANCESTRAL WISDOM Grandma Margaret and Uncle Ben - the seer and blacksmith of the family. Armed with knowledge passed down through generations of Bergsons, they are here to assist you. You can rely on their ancient knowledge about the way of Rea, the spirit of Morta land. Use their skills to upgrade the family's gear and boost main attributes. Be sure to take advantage of your ancestor’s wisdom! MYSTICAL MOUNTAIN To the villagers and residents of Rea, the mountain is everything. Full of history, legends and magic, it is a symbol and source of life, health, and prosperity. Delve into the mountain itself - unravel the mysteries inside. Unearth what the Corruption is and why it has come to this seemingly peaceful place. EVER-CHANGING WORLD The world is touched by Corruption - constantly changing. Every forest, dungeon, or temple you explore and skirmish through will never be the same, guaranteeing a unique experience each play session. UNIQUE ART STYLE A combination of hand painted pixel art and frame-by-frame animations partnered with modern lighting techniques come to life to create the beautifully dangerous world of Children of Morta! Planescape: Torment – Enhanced Edition / Icewind Dale: Enhanced Edition (October 15, 2019) Journey deep into Icewind Dale, a harsh and unforgiving territory settled only by the hardiest folk. Battle the cunning, ferocious beasts that survive among the snow-shrouded peaks, and confront an evil that schemes to wreak destruction upon the world. Then, explore the bizarre universe of Planescape, from the dirty streets of Sigil to the mysterious Outer Planes--and even the depths of Hell itself. This is a place where the word is mightier than the sword, where thought defines reality, and belief has the power to reshape worlds. Icewind Dale and Planescape: Torment are award-winning classics of the isometric RPG genre. Planescape: Torment and Icewind Dale: Enhanced Editions contain the entirety of Icewind Dale (including the Heart of Winter and Trials of the Luremaster expansions) and Planescape: Torment. aldur's Gate and Baldur's Gate II: Enhanced Editions (October 15, 2019) Forced to leave your home under mysterious circumstances, you find yourself drawn into a conflict that has the Sword Coast on the brink of war. Soon you discover there are other forces at work, far more sinister than you could ever imagine. Can you resist the evil in your blood and forsake the dark destiny that awaits you? Or will you embrace your monstrous nature and ascend to godhood? Customize your hero, recruit a party of brave allies, and explore the Sword Coast in your search for adventure, profit, and your destiny. Since the release of the first Baldur’s Gate in 1998, the series has set the standard for Dungeons & Dragons computer roleplaying games. "Baldur's Gate and Baldur's Gate II: Enhanced Editions" contains the entirety of Baldur’s Gate (including the Tales of the Sword Coast and Siege of Dragonspear expansions) and Baldur’s Gate II (including the Throne of Bhaal expansion). The Fisherman: Fishing Planet (October 15, 2019) The gold standard for fishing games, now available in a complete version with no microtransactions. Experience all the fun of the sport and hone your skills in single-player or multiplayer mode. Features 143 species of fish with true-to-life behaviors, 19 different environments in the United States and Europe, and dynamic weather with a day/night cycle and different seasons. Zombieland: Double Tap – Road Trip (October 15, 2019) The game is it’s own unique story, set after the events of the first movie, Zombieland: Double Tap: Road Trip is a ridiculously fun top-down twin-stick shooter featuring local co-op multiplayer for up to four players. Play as your favorite heroes from the original — Tallahassee, Columbus, Wichita and Little Rock — as well as new unlockable characters from the upcoming sequel. The game embraces the game-like elements seen in the film by incorporating everything from the “Rules” to “Zombie Kill of the Week”. Use your special abilities, an arsenal of weapons and the essential Zombieland rules for survival to stay alive against huge numbers of uniquely grotesque and dangerous undead monstrosities in Zombieland: Double Tap’s story-based campaign mode, wave-based horde mode, and boss battles. Features: Over 18 levels & locationsUnlockable characters from new Zombieland Movie15+ zombie typesFun & funny campaign modes with Epic Horde & Boss Battles Just Ignore Them (October 16, 2019) Growing up we all knew that one kid who was absolutely terrified of the dark and convinced that there were monsters hiding beneath his bed, but what if it were true? Just Ignore Them is a Point and Click game that revolves around boy named Mark, who is locked in a never ending chase to escape the monsters that pursue him. After his father’s disappearance, the monsters started to appear, but one night can feel like a lifetime of pain, suffering and horror to a child... and fast forward to the present, Mark is now an adult, haunted by a troubling past. Written more like a movie, as opposed to a videogame, in this 8-bit psychological horror, Mark’s actions can wreak devastating consequences in the future and affect the ending to his story, so choose wisely, Mark’s fate depends on it. Features: Unique chapter based storyPoint and Click gameplay with an adventure element to itTop-down pixel artworkOriginal Soundtrack Sole (October 16, 2019) Uncover the secrets of a world lost in shadow . . . Sole is a surreal adventure game where you play as the only source of light in a world shrouded in darkness. Wander through uninhabited environments, painting the land with light as you uncover its mysterious past. Explore the remnants of great cities and discover the history of an ancient civilization on your journey to restore life to an abandoned world. - TRANSFORM THE WORLD Paint the land with light and leave a permanent trail of illumination wherever you explore. Grow grass, bloom trees, and reveal murals of light as you restore life across the land. - UNCOVER THE PAST An emotionally engaging non-verbal story tells the history of an abandoned world through 5 meticulously designed environments. Collect an alphabet of ancient glyphs to reveal the secrets of a lost history. - GET LOST IN AN AESTHETIC EXPERIENCE Heavily stylized watercolor visuals create a hypnotic dreamlike aesthetic while a haunting original orchestral soundtrack builds a rich soundscape of ethereal tones and somber melodies. Ping Redux (October 16, 2019) PING REDUX™ is a challenging ping pong puzzle game, remade from its older sibling PING 1.5+™. It's not for the weak at heart. Bounce off the walls and obstacles and reach the succulent tasty orange. It boasts an excellent techno soundtrack that's so good, it'll stay in your brain for days. PING REDUX has 100+ levels including 12 bosses that are inspired by classic games to help keep the gameplay varied. With bombs, lava, moving hazards, and other sorts of blocks to get in your way, do you think you can beat it? Features: 100+ levelsHyper retro voxel visualsSome sweet sweet music provided by XonahBoss stages provide unique gameplay challenges and are throwbacks to the 80sProbably too hard for your uncle to beat even though it's inspired by his era Sea Salt (October 17, 2019) Sea Salt is an action strategy hybrid, in which you are an Old God summoning unfathomable horrors to blight the human lands. You will have your sacrifice, and humanity will pay for denying you what you are owed. Summoning a tide of minions, your army will emerge from the sea to take vengeance on the religious figures who have dared to defy you, and anyone else that stands in your way. When humanity prayed you were willing to offer them fair winds for their fishing vessels, and they enjoyed the riches and prosperity you provided. They knew the price, but cowardice overtook their faith when the time came to collect. The bishop of your church defied your will, but when the horrors of the deep emerge from the gloom he will beg for the mercy of a swift death. Features: Command an unruly troop of nightmarish creatures, cultists and horrors from the deepControl the whole swarm at once, directing it to attack your victims or withdraw to avoid their defensesUse the terrain to surprise and surround the weak minded to make them lose their minds to fearDiscover cards in a hellish tarot to unlock 16 different units with their own strengths and weaknessesHunters, and special bosses alike, will be swept away on your path to vengeance Felix the Reaper (October 17, 2019) A romantic comedy about the life of Death, brought to you as a 3D shadow manipulation puzzle adventure game of dance, dying people, and dangerous love. You play as Felix, who works at The Ministry of Death, and he's in love with Betty The Maiden from The Ministry of Life. He's taken the job of a field reaper to make sure people die and taught himself to dance in order to impress the love of his (un)life. Stela (October 17, 2019) A cinematic, atmospheric platformer about a young woman witnessing the final days of a mysterious ancient world. Overcome daunting challenges, treacherous terrain, and gargantuan beasts while traversing a decaying land. Manipulate the environment to solve elaborate puzzles and creep past dangerous creatures under cover of muted landscapes in this atmospheric experience. The Jackbox Party Pack 6 (October 17, 2019) It’s the wildest Party Pack yet, with the absurd deathmatch Trivia Murder Party 2, the weird word circus Dictionarium, the hidden identity game Push The Button, the comedy contest Joke Boat and the offbeat personality test Role Models. Stranded Sails: Explorers of the Cursed Islands (October 17, 2019) Stranded Sails – Explorers of the Cursed Islands is an open world, exploration and farming adventure full of quests and discovery! You’re ship-wrecked on a mysterious archipelago. It's up to you to survive and solve the mysteries deep in the heart of the islands, then finally escape! Farm, craft and cook to survive as you take charge of building a camp full of survivors. With the goal of building a new ship to escape, you set off on a journey across a wealth of islands for useful treasures and items! Many exciting quests await you – as well as numerous dangers and threats. Will you solve the secret of the cursed islands? It's the only way to escape. Awaken the adventurer deep inside! Features: Experience an open-world adventure full of story driven-questsFarm and cook to survive!Manage the creation and expansion of your crew’s campExplore a diverse array of different islands by foot or boatFight against supernatural dangers and solve the secrets of the cursed islands Kine (October 17, 2019) Kine is a 3D puzzle game about three whimsical machines that aspire to be musicians. Embark across a theatrically rendered cityscape by solving increasingly difficult 3D puzzles. Guide Euler, Quat, and Roo as they struggle to form a band and find their big break! Pig Eat Ball (October 18, 2019) Pig Eat Ball is a top-down, action-adventure about eating, getting fat, and barfing on things to solve levels. Explore 20 giant space stations to find different Disguises, and using their Pros and Cons, fight and solve your way through over 200 action-puzzle levels using new, arcade-style mechanics. King Cake, the dessert-headed monarch, has decided it’s time for his daughter to get married, but she other plans! The King has devised “The Royal Games” in which the winner will marry Princess Bow. Since she can’t talk her father out of it, Bow decides to put on a disguise and enter the competition herself. Along the way, she discovers a nefarious plot that threatens all life aboard the Space Station Kingdom. Can she get to the bottom of things before it’s too late… and win the Royal Games at the same time? Features: TWISTED ARCADE GAMEPLAY Get bigger as you eat. Barf to squeeze down to size. Barf on anything that moves. Reap the rewards.EXPLORE INTRICATE WORLDS Giant interconnected overworlds are filled with strange life, and secret rewards. Travel to five completely unique areas including Sushi Gardens, Kitchen Chaos, and Astro Farm.HAND-CRAFTED CHALLENGE Each hand-made, non-procedural level has a unique hook or puzzle from dodging alien bulls, spitting bombs, eating flying pies, or bowling while on conveyor belts—there’s always something new.MASSIVE, WILD BOSSES Nearly a dozen bat-barf crazy bosses will be coming your way. How will you beat the Accordion Centipede? Or a living pile of nachos? Use your BRAIN, your SKILLS, and your MOUTH!INCREDIBLE SOUNDTRACK We've created amazing tunes to get you into this surreal world! Funky, rockin', jazzy tunes all for you!ONE-OF-A KIND POWERUPS Throughout the Space Station Kingdom there are dozens of special Disguises. These look cool and also give you special abilities! Each Disguise has a Pro and a Con. Swap Disguises to find the best one for each situation.OPEN-ENDED ANTICS Charming Pillbugs roam these space stations. They may want to play a nice game of tennis, or may steal your balls! Watch out for their lawn darts, bombs, flying pies, and tractors! Barf on them, bump them, torch them, or knock them into open space. Don’t worry they can hold their breath a long time!HOURS OF ADVENTURE The main story is 10-14 hours alone on the first playthrough. Getting the “Gold Medal” for quick completions on each level opens a special CHALLENGE SECTION in each world!WILD CHARACTERS Talk to dozens of interesting aliens on your journey including Cupcake people, Scrounger Goblins, sentient shrimp, and of course your insane father King Cake.MANIC MULTIPLAYER MAYHEM The 4-player, OFFLINE couch competitive mode is the definition of PARTY TIME. Dozens of custom levels give you a variety of goals to compete to win. Casual and Hardcore players can boost it out, bumping bums, barfing blobs, and belching balls!ONLINE LEADERBOARDS Each action level lets you compete for the fastest time with the world! Worbital (October 18, 2019) Break the Space! Worbital is space war in real-time with tension-filled gameplay and gravitational destruction. Each player commandeers a planet, building support structures and increasingly powerful weapons. Use your weaponry to destroy enemy planets and wreak total havoc to the solar system. The goal: be the last civilization standing! INTERPLANETARY ARTILLERY WARFARE Exploit the shifting gravity by maneuvering your shots across space to inflict maximum damage on the enemy. Sling asteroids, create black holes, make it rain with solar flares! COSMIC CHAOS Planets blow up. They might take other planets with them. Then the sun explodes. Then the real fun begins. PREPARATION, BUILDING, TACTICS Railguns, Lasers, World Rammers, Magnets, Orbit Boosters, Shield Defenses, Attack Ships, Colonizers… Pick your loadout from dozens of unique weapons! 100% PSEUDO-SCIENTIFICALLY ACCURATE Or: How we learned to stop worrying about realism and love the mayhem. HYPE-FILLED OBLITERATION OF YOUR CLOSE AND DISTANT FRIENDS Make your opponents scream with perfectly-timed attacks and defenses, and hope they’re still your friends the next day.
Return of the Obra Dinn (October 18, 2019)
An Insurance Adventure with Minimal Color In 1802, the merchant ship Obra Dinn set out from London for the Orient with over 200 tons of trade goods. Six months later it hadn't met its rendezvous point at the Cape of Good Hope and was declared lost at sea. Early this morning of October 14th, 1807, the Obra Dinn drifted into port at Falmouth with damaged sails and no visible crew. As insurance investigator for the East India Company's London Office, dispatch immediately to Falmouth, find means to board the ship, and prepare an assessment of damages. Return of the Obra Dinn is a first-person mystery adventure based on exploration and logical deduction. Driven Out (October 18, 2019) Driven Out is a challenging 2d side-scroller with deliberate combat and beautiful 16 bit retro aesthetic. Our Heroine is forced from her home into a dangerous world in upheaval. Forced to fight dangerous fantastical creatures. Luckily our heroine has stumbled upon a magical contraption that creates copies of herself if she perishes. As long as this strange device has power she can place custom checkpoints. However, be warned, it is a fragile device and if the enemies choose to attack the device it will quickly break. These enemies are numerous and varied in this seamless world. Our heroine has no combat experience but as long as she keeps her wits about her and read the enemies moves she can prevail. The enemies are also not without wit and might choose to attack the checkpoint if left unprotected. Features: Deliberate combat. Read the enemy and act accordingly. Beautiful 16 bit retro art style with fluid animations. Seamless world without any in-game load screens. Checkpoints can be placed anywhere.Destructible checkpoint, if left unprotected the enemies can choose to attack the checkpoints instead of the player.Skill based combat. No character progression and no loot. Ice Age: Scrat’s Nutty Adventures (October 18, 2019) Join Scrat’s quest for the Crystal Nuts Ice Age’s favorite sabre-tooth squirrel, Scrat, is at it again in an all-new adventure! A mysterious mechanism in an ancient Scratazon Temple, has locked away his prized possession – and the only way to get it back is an epic quest to find four legendary Crystal Nuts, scattered across the land. It’s up to you to guide Scrat through a hilarious 3D action-adventure, where you’ll face fierce prehistoric creatures, survive crazy calamities, and return the missing relics to their rightful home. Enter the world of Ice Age! Get ready to visit a host of classic Ice Age locations, where you’ll jump from icicle to icicle, ride raging geysers, leap across burning lava, and reach for impossible heights, all with Scrat’s hilarious slapstick acrobatics. You might even spot some familiar Ice Age friends along the way! Hunt for special powers! Explore adventure-packed locations to discover treasures that unlock special powers and help Scrat to jump higher, grab heavier objects and find every last treasure. It’s a dangerous world It takes guts to get the Crystal Nuts! Prepare to deal with fierce wolves, insidious insects, giant prehistoric bosses, and – most perilous of all – Scrat’s never-ending bad luck! Features: An all-new 3D platforming adventure starring Scrat, everyone’s favorite sabre-tooth squirrelClimb, dig, sneak and slide your way through classic Ice Age locationsFace fierce enemies from rats to wolves, raptors to piranhasExplore four fun stages with hilarious set pieces, familiar characters, and giant boss battlesSearch for the missing Crystal Nuts plus a host of other hidden treasures and abilities Plants vs. Zombies: Battle for Neighborville (October 18, 2019) Welcome to Neighborville, where all is well. Except that a crazy new coniferous conflict between brain-less and botanicals is brewing! What are you gonna do – call the crops? Soil your plants? Prepare to kick some grass in a plant-on-zombie conflict that will take you to the outer edges of Neighborville and back again. Customize Every Character for Battle Join the newest bloom in the age-old battle between plants and zombies with 20 fully customizable classes at launch, including a Team Play class for each faction. Bring the unique abilities of each character class to six PvP modes, including the new Battle Arena, and experience the unbeleafable thrills of combat. Venture to the Outer Edges of Neighborville The tension across the terra has expanded with three free-roam regions and one PvE mode that extend beyond the town of Neighborville. Squad up with up to three friends in the Giddy Park social region and take back Weirding Woods, Mount Steep, and Neighborville Town Centre. It’s grow time! Play with Your Favorite People, in Every Mode Join forces with other players to experience split-screen couch co-op in every mode. Connect with up to three players and battle through flourishing free-roam regions or jump into the fray with up to 24 players in online multiplayer across a gigantic suburban skirmish. Megaquarium (October 18, 2019) A theme park management tycoon game with an aquatic twist. Design your displays, look after your fish, manage your staff and keep your guests happy! It's all in a day's work as the curator of your very own Megaquarium. Features: 10 level ‘learn the game’ campaignSandbox mode with full customisation and random challenge generator97 species of livestock to discover each with their own unique care requirementsOver 100 different objects to place including filters, skimmers, nitrate reactors, chillers, heaters, food boxes, equipment stations, doors, gates, food and drink dispensers, balloon stands and morePlan staff talks down to the subject, time and frequency to increase your point income even further!Gift shop and guest facilitiesFully featured theming and decoration system Read the full article
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‘The Lightbulb Effect’
‘Lightbulb Effect' You know the one? when you get an idea or come to a realization and suddenly everything in your life makes sense? I still remember my 'Lightbulb' moment, I was 24 and was having one of my... lets call them 'Rough Weeks'. Since leaving high school (now over 10 years ago wow!) I never knew what I wanted to do, some kids grow up wanting to be Doctors, others join the forces or maybe others flitter around for years between jobs, or in my case college courses, lets go back a bit shall we...
When I was 17 I took a carpentry and joinery course, I did really well, all my work was completed I passed the first year and was on course to complete the whole qualification... what did I do? I quit 3 months from the end... foolish? perhaps although as I sit here thinking about it I cant say I regret my decision. Deep down I knew it wasn't what I wanted to do. After leaving Id always hoped Id find that 'one thing' in my life that I could pour my everything into, unfortunately that search was always blighted by a lack of self confidence, anxiety and a few bouts of depression.
Where do these issues stem from? By all means my life has not been a bad one, I've always had a roof over my head a warm bed to sleep in and food in my belly (and for this I'm very grateful). Without using it as an excuse I also come from a broken home and have had more than a few issues with my father. I dealt with it, I made the decision to see my local counsellor and after a years worth of sessions I walked out that door a stronger person and closed the book on those issues.
Between the ages of 18-24 I used to worry alot. Anxiety has always been a big part of me, people used to say that my middle name was 'Worry'. This was escalated by the witnessing of my then housemate, and best friend in a horrific car accident. At 18, and sustaining the injuries he did he is very lucky to be here now. I call him ‘the machine’ because he's a tough bastard and an inspiration and I'm so proud of everything he's achieved since the accident. Its in those moments and the years that follow that you reflect and you realise who and what is most important.
Those years of my life were not all negative. There was lots of positives, I passed my driving test (got myself a little motor), my first niece arrived, and there where many weekend nights spent at my local rock and metal club 'The Waterfront'. The floor was sticky, the ceilings would drip with perspiration and the toilets were proper grim but that place (as weird as it sounds) was home! It was my kind of music and my kind of people. From nights spent there with the gang I have nothing but fond memories, and with beers priced at £1.50 you really couldn't go wrong... well you could, because if you didn't drink your can (that's right... a can) quick enough you'd have warm beer!
So Id get up everyday I went to work and at one point rented my own apartment... you could say I had the lot, the car, the pad and money in the bank but I couldn't shake the strong desire to better myself to become a more confident outgoing person but what was it that I really wanted to do...cue lightbulb moment...
It was January 2014 it was cold and everything I hate about winter! (I'm a 28 degrees plus and blazing sunshine boy) as I mentioned before I was having one of my' Rough Weeks' a friend had given me his copy of 'Early Years The Best Of Led Zeppelin' and in anticipation of his 'What did you think'? enquiry I knew it was time to dive in. I had those useless electric heaters in my apartment... you know the ones... night storage heating, where the heat would be released gradually throughout the day? great idea! except I think mine were from the 50′s so all heat would be lost buy at least 5pm! Not ideal in the dark of winter.
So I would use this little halogen heater, that I would bring up close when I was sitting on my desktop (yep I still had a desktop in 2014) this particular night I was drinking my poison... rum on the rocks. Led Zeppelin was blasting from the speakers, now this best of Zeppelin had some classic bangers 'Whole Lotta Love' 'Communication Breakdown' 'Rock And Roll' and 'Black Dog' and then began track 8... 'Since I've Been Loving You'.
I cant really describe that moment, from the opening chords of Jimmy Pages guitar, John Bonham's drums and then of course Robert Plants wailing vocals... as cliché as it sounds there in those 7 minutes 23 seconds I was lost... I just listened... something about that piece of music got me, spoke to me and still does today (its on now as I write this) and that's when it hit me ... what couldn't I live without? what did I immerse myself in everyday? where did I go when I wanted to escape? ... cue lightbulb... MUSIC....
There with my rum, halogen heater and wearing the worlds most unflattering woolly hoodie and Adidas tracksuit bottoms (which I think were passed down from my brother, I must have stopped growing when I was 17) it all made sense... MUSIC...
Id attended numerous gigs and festivals prior to the lightbulb moment, I have some special memories from Download Festival 2009 and 2010. I met the top hat himself 'Slash', from Guns and Roses back in 2012. Slash, Myles and The Conspirators at Brixton Academy 'Apocalyptic Love Tour'. He was a true hero, me and my brother had queued in line for about an hour backstage after the show, when he came out he stood there and signed something and chatted to every single fan that had queued. My guitar plate that I had removed the prior evening 'just in case' and he signed is one of my most prized possessions. For those interested he asked 'If Id enjoyed the show?' I think my response was meant to be something resembling a sentence but I'm sure I only managed a series of noises and squeaks.
Even though this was a significant lead up to the lightbulb moment even now I look back and think why did it then take me another 2 years to decide to go for the music thing? Ever since I was a kid Id always found peace and an escape in music, I used to buy cassettes when I was a kid. Growing up with two older brothers meant I was exposed to so much music as a youngster. Id lived through the era of Britpop and grown up with both older brothers taking opposite ends of the spectrum (one was a Oasis fan the other was Blur). ‘Dave Pierces Dance Anthems’ on Radio One on a Sunday Night must also get a mention It didn't get any better than that!
2011 onwards Id always (even though I wouldn't call them that at the time) been writing lyrics, in my counselling sessions I was encouraged to find an outlet for my frustration and anger I was tied of it being drink so I started channelling my emotions and feelings on paper, this wasn't of course my only inspiration for my lyrics the usual... love lost... lust etc. I could still tell you where I was when I wrote my first ever lyrics, what the weather was like etc... funny that I'm a very sentimental person and something like that I never want to forget.
I must also mention that without my good friend... lets call him 'D' I don't think I would have taken those lyrics any further he saw something in them. I remember I let him read 'the book' one day and he really wanted me to consider creating melodies, and turning them into songs along with him. So we tried it and we did really well for what you would call 'bedroom musicians' those where some good times in my apartment sitting there sometimes till 3AM drinking ale, coming up with melodies and me constantly looping lyrics trying to fit to his guitar parts... I'm forever grateful to D and his encouragement and belief In me... more about D and our little project later.
So most of 2011 2012 and 2013 I wrote nearly everyday, I've gotten a memory stick, books and scraps of paper etc. all containing my lyrics. Still I never took that step forward I always believed I wasn't good enough ... remember issues! But then the lightbulb moment happened and it all made sense ... music is what I had a passion for! writing is what I believed I was good at and what I enjoyed doing. From there I knew what I wanted to do or at least be able to say I was involved in.
K.
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Sea of Thieves gets daily bounties, Tall Tales checkpoints and more in latest update • Eurogamer.net
Another month means another batch of piratical activities on the Sea of Thieves, and today’s Lost Treasures update – a somewhat lower-key offering than usual – brings a number of quality-of-life improvements such as Tall Tales checkpoints, plus a quivering heap of new limited-time events and recurring challenges, designed to encourage regular returns.
Tall Tales checkpoints (revealed to Eurogamer last month) are probably the biggest game changer this month, enabling players to quit a session and resume an in-progress story episodes at a later time. Crucially, it means pirates won’t be forced to restart, losing hours of effort as a result, if an enemy players decide pillage mission-critical items mid-way through an adventure.
Newcomers should also find it a little easier to navigate their way through Tall Tales thanks to a few new additions to the ship’s onboard map; Rare has now implemented tooltips for certain icons, guiding players in the right direction to begin their next quest.
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Elsewhere, today’s update introduces a range of new regular and limited-time events, starting with daily challenges. A new daily challenge will appear at 12:59am each morning, and rewards – ranging from piles of gold to doubloons – are doled out depending on the difficulty of the endeavour. Some might simply demand you drink in a tavern with another crew, for instance, while others might ask you to down a skeleton ship.
Additionally, at least for the duration of the Lost Treasures update, Rare is introducing two daily Gold Rush hours. From 6pm-7pm and 2am-3am in the UK (that’s 10am-11am and 6pm-7pm PDT), all loot handed into trading companies will grant rewards with a 1.5x multiplier.
Then, every Friday from 7pm to 7am, starting tomorrow, players turning in stronghold loot from skeleton forts (or stolen from players doing skeleton forts, presumably) will get increased rewards at the point of cash-in. Rare, brilliantly, is calling this event Fort Nights.
Rare’s also hosting the first Reaper’s Rewards challenge as part of its new Regular Events initiative, with this debut effort set to run from Friday, 28th May, to 8th June. It consists of three tasks involving the new Reaper’s Bones Trading Company, each offering boosted cash-in rewards and a variety of faction-specific emotes upon completion.
The premium Ruby Splashtail Ship Set.
As for limited-time events, there’s a second appearance for the Hunter’s Haul challenge, which runs from today, 27th May, to 17th June. Players that manage to catch 300 Ruby Splashtails and hand them into any Hunter’s Call representative at a seapost will earn 150 Ancient Coins to spend in the premium store – which this month’s features the new Splashtail Monarch costume and fishing rod, plus the strikingly daft Ruby Splashtail Ship Set.
Finally, there’s an event incoming that will give pirates the chance to earn the new State-of-Decay-inspired Blighted Ship Set. Rare says full details on how to acquire the pleasingly spooksome set of undead-themed ship cosmetics – consisting of the Blighted Flag, Sails, Hull and Figurehead – will be revealed at a later date.
All of this month’s events can be found on Sea of Thieves’ new event hub over on the official website. Hopefully Rare will shift everything in-game for greater visibility soon.
It’s a busy month on the Sea of Thieves, then, and those that pick up the game for the first time when it comes to Steam next Wednesday, 3rd June, will have ample to get stuck into.
from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/05/sea-of-thieves-gets-daily-bounties-tall-tales-checkpoints-and-more-in-latest-update-%e2%80%a2-eurogamer-net/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=sea-of-thieves-gets-daily-bounties-tall-tales-checkpoints-and-more-in-latest-update-%25e2%2580%25a2-eurogamer-net
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26 Benefits Of Garden Of Eden Minnesota That May Change Your Perspective | garden of eden minnesota
The Prudential Spirit of Association Awards ceremoniousness Frazee and Eden Prairie acceptance with $1,000, medallions and cruise to nation’s capital
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Finalists additionally called in Excelsior, Coon Rapids, Sauk Rapids and Prior Lake
ST. PAUL, Minn., Feb. 5, 2019 /PRNewswire/ — Annika Kovar, 18, of Frazee and Ryan Stoltz, 14, of Eden Prairie today were called Minnesota’s top two adolescence volunteers of 2019 by The Prudential Spirit of Association Awards, a civic affairs anniversary adolescent bodies for outstanding acts of volunteerism. As Accompaniment Honorees, Annika and Ryan each will accept $1,000, an engraved argent brand and an all-expense-paid cruise in aboriginal May to Washington, D.C., area they will accompany the top two honorees from anniversary of the added states and the District of Columbia for four days of civic acceptance events. During the trip, 10 students will be called America’s top adolescence volunteers of 2019.
The Prudential Spirit of Association Awards logo
The Prudential Spirit of Association Awards, now in its 24th year, is conducted by Prudential Banking in affiliation with the Civic Association of Secondary Academy Principals (NASSP).
These are Minnesota’s top adolescence volunteers of 2019:
High Academy Accompaniment Honoree: Annika KovarNominated by Perham Aerial School
Annika, a chief at Perham Aerial School, created a alms that has encouraged and helped 105 childcare accessories in 21 states to abound vegetable area for their kids, and is affianced in abundant added projects to advance advantageous bistro and concrete action amid adolescent people. In 2012, Annika suffered a blow in a gymnastics blow and had to burden from any concrete action for six months. “Over the advance of my recovery, I accomplished contiguous the furnishings that abridgement of exercise and poor bistro habits can have,” she said. Afterward, “I was bent to become the healthiest adaptation of myself, and affect others to do the same.”
So while she was volunteering as an activities baton at a bounded daycare facility, Annika buried a garden to advise the accouchement “where absolute aliment comes from” and to augment them advantageous produce. Added daycares in Minnesota heard about her garden, and afore long, Annika was accouterment chargeless vegetable seeds, admonition and, in some cases, hands-on burying abetment to 35 childcare facilities. Aftermost year, her “Little Sprouts Garden Gang” affairs broadcast to 21 states, and she appear a children’s book to acclaim the virtues of agronomical and to admonition armamentarium her program. Annika additionally has produced exercise videos and accomplished a abbreviate fettle accepted to animate kids to get at atomic 60 account of concrete action every day. In addition, she promotes both diet and exercise through speeches, aliment drives, account concerts, radio accessible account announcements, amusing media and a claimed website. “Working together, we can brainwash and animate today’s adolescence to move more, eat healthier, and admonition lower adolescence obesity,” said Annika.
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Middle Akin Accompaniment Honoree: Ryan StoltzNominated by Central Average School
Ryan, an eighth-grader at Central Average School, has spent added than 1,000 hours over the accomplished four years researching and autograph 55 account belief as a anchorman for the Scholastic Account Kids Columnist Corps, and is additionally alive to accumulation chargeless audition aids to bodies in charge about the world. Concerned about common attacks on the account media, Ryan is “inspired to bear facts to bodies in a fair and aloof manner,” he said, and considers it his “patriotic assignment to advocate and abide the bequest of a chargeless press.” He looks for adventure account that can empower and accord articulation to adolescent people, pitches them to his editor in New York, conducts analysis and interviews, and submits his accomplished pieces for advertisement in Scholastic’s magazines and on its website, which are accessible to added than 35 actor students.
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Ryan became absorbed in the accountable of audition accident afterwards accomplishing a adventure on the Starkey Audition Foundation. So far, he has led bristles assignment sessions in which added than 150 volunteers recruited by Ryan accept accumulated about 8,000 audition aids for the foundation. He additionally is planning to participate in a foundation mission to admonition fit accouchement in accession country with audition aids, and again aftermath video and book account belief to allotment his acquaintance with classrooms beyond the country. “I achievement my adventure will affect added kids to contemplate the means in which they can accomplish a absolute aberration in their communities,” he said.
Distinguished Finalists
The affairs board additionally accustomed six other Minnesota acceptance as Distinguished Finalists for their absorbing association account activities. Anniversary will accept an engraved brownish medallion.
These are Minnesota’s Distinguished Finalists for 2019:
Cameron Anundson, 18, of Excelsior, Minn., a chief at Minnetonka Aerial School, has been confined with his apprentice government back he was in average school, and back apprentice year has led abundant committees and played key roles in admired apprentice activities. Cameron has been alive in acclimation contest including Heart Week, an anniversary fundraiser with activities from a ball to a trivia night that raises about $35,000 a year for a alms acknowledging bounded acceptance and families.
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Jacob Bridge, 16, of Excelsior, Minn., a inferior at Minnetonka Aerial School, is an alive advance with the Lowry Nature Center and Backpack Tutoring, and donates his time to a cardinal of added association initiatives as well. Jacob started volunteering by accepting complex with the activities abounding by his sister, who has appropriate needs; he went on to activities including confined with the Nature Center’s summer camps, area he ensures the assurance of accouchement as they commence on educational adventures.
Briana Clifton, 17, of Coon Rapids, Minn., a chief at Coon Rapids Aerial School, is committed to adopting acquaintance about brainy affliction and educating acceptance about career opportunities in the brainy bloom field. She formed with the Civic Alliance on Brainy Illness, Morningsong Therapy Center and her academy activities administrator to adapt an educational accident at her academy aftermost year, which featured speeches from survivors and brainy bloom professionals and was abounding by added than 50 students.
Gabriella Feygin, 11, of Excelsior, Minn., a sixth-grader at Minnetonka Average Academy West, abstruse about the adverse statistics about adolescence blight back she was 6 years old; back then, she has aloft added than $250,000 for organizations centered on adolescent health. She has championed annual fundraising drives and been alive in accepting added accouchement complex in allowance others—something she believes kids can do at any age.
Camden Patterson, 17, of Sauk Rapids, Minn., a chief at Sauk Rapids-Rice Aerial School, played a key role in a apprentice board action that aloft added than $13,000 for the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Camden formed on a baby board to barrage her school’s first-ever “Survivor Week,” an accident that affianced the accomplished academy association and put 14 contestants through different challenges; her primary responsibilities included accepting business donations and planning added than 25 challenges.
Sanya Pirani, 12, of Prior Lake, Minn., a seventh-grader at Hidden Oaks Average School, manages her own nonprofit organization, “Sanya’s Achievement For Children,” which aims to abetment accouchement in her academy with basal necessities. She has led hundreds of her aeon to participate in projects including clothing, childhood and book drives; her “Christmas Bag Project” unites volunteers to sew and being accoutrements abounding of toys, academy food and books for abandoned children.
“These adolescent volunteers abstruse and demonstrated that they can accomplish meaningful contributions to individuals and communities through their service,” said Prudential CEO Charles Lowrey. “It’s an account to admit their abundant work, and we achievement that animated a spotlight on their account inspires others to accede how they ability accomplish a difference.”
“Each of these honorees is affidavit that acceptance accept the energy, adroitness and different perspectives to actualize absolute change,” said JoAnn Bartoletti, controlling administrator of NASSP. “We acclaim anniversary of the 2019 honorees for their outstanding advance service, and for the invaluable archetype they’ve set for their peers.”
About The Prudential Spirit of Association Awards
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The Prudential Spirit of Association Awards represents the United States’ better adolescence acceptance affairs based alone on advance service. All accessible and clandestine average akin and aerial schools in the country, as able-bodied as all Girl Scout councils, canton 4-H organizations, American Red Cross chapters, YMCAs and affiliates of Points of Light’s HandsOn Network, were acceptable to baddest a apprentice or affiliate for a bounded Prudential Spirit of Association Award. These Bounded Honorees were again advised by an absolute anticipation panel, which called Accompaniment Honorees and Distinguished Finalists based on belief including claimed initiative, effort, appulse and claimed growth.
While in Washington, D.C., the 102 Accompaniment Honorees – one middle level and one aerial academy apprentice from anniversary accompaniment and the District of Columbia – will bout the capital’s landmarks, accommodated top adolescence volunteers from added genitalia of the world, appear a bright awards commemoration at the Smithsonian’s Civic Museum of Natural History, and appointment their aldermanic assembly on Capitol Hill. On May 6, 10 of the Accompaniment Honorees – bristles average akin and bristles aerial academy acceptance – will be called America’s top adolescence volunteers of 2019. These Civic Honorees will accept added $5,000 awards, gold medallions, clear trophies and $5,000 grants from The Prudential Foundation for nonprofit accommodating organizations of their choice.
Since the affairs began in 1995, added than 125,000 adolescent volunteers accept been accustomed at the local, accompaniment and civic level. The affairs additionally is conducted by Prudential subsidiaries in Japan, South Korea, Taiwan, Ireland, India, China and Brazil. In accession to acceding its own awards, The Prudential Spirit of Association Awards affairs additionally distributes President’s Advance Account Awards to condoning Bounded Honorees.
For advice on all of this year’s Prudential Spirit of Association Accompaniment Honorees and Distinguished Finalists, appointment http://spirit.prudential.com or www.nassp.org/spirit.
About NASSP
The Civic Association of Secondary Academy Principals (NASSP) is the arch alignment of and articulation for principals and added academy leaders beyond the United States. NASSP seeks to transform apprenticeship through academy leadership, acquainted that the accomplishment of anniversary student’s abeyant relies on abundant leaders in every academy committed to the success of anniversary student. Reflecting its abiding charge to apprentice administration development, NASSP administers the National Account Society, National Inferior Account Society, National Elementary Account Society, and National Apprentice Council. Learn added at www.nassp.org.
About Prudential Financial
Prudential Financial, Inc. (PRU), a banking casework leader, has operations in the United States, Asia, Europe, and Latin America. Prudential’s assorted and accomplished advisers are committed to allowance alone and institutional barter abound and assure their abundance through a array of articles and services, including activity insurance, annuities, retirement-related services, alternate funds and advance management. In the U.S., Prudential’s iconic Rock attribute has stood for strength, stability, ability and addition for added than a century. For added information, amuse appointment www.news.prudential.com.
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For Spirit of Association Awards program logo and brand graphics, amuse visithttps://spirit.prudential.com/resources/media
View aboriginal agreeable to download multimedia:https://prn.to/2SOrxbl
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The federal government’s boldest land grab in a generation
By T. Christian Miller, ProPublica, and Kiah Collier and Julián Aguilar, Texas Tribune. December 14, 2017
BROWNSVILLE, TEXAS--The land agents started working the border between Texas and Mexico in the spring of 2007. Sometimes they were representatives from the Army Corps of Engineers. Other times they were officers from the U.S. Border Patrol, uniformed in green, guns tucked into side holsters. They visited tumbledown mobile homes and suburban houses with golf course views. They surveyed farms fecund with sugar cane, cotton and sorghum growing by the mud-brown Rio Grande. They delivered their blunt news to ranchers and farmers, sheet metal workers and university professors, auto mechanics and wealthy developers.
The federal government was going to build a fence to keep out drug smugglers and immigrants crossing into the United States illegally, they told property owners. The structure was going to cut straight across their land. The government would make a fair offer to buy property, the agents explained. That was the law. But if the owners didn’t want to sell, the next step was federal court. U.S. attorneys would file a lawsuit to seize it. One way or the other, the government would get the land. That, too, was the law.
The visits launched the most aggressive seizure of private land by the federal government in decades. In less than a year, the Department of Homeland Security filed more than 360 eminent domain lawsuits against property owners, involving thousands of acres of land in the border states of Texas, New Mexico, Arizona and California.
Most of the seized land ran along the Rio Grande, which forms the border between Texas and Mexico. All told, the agency paid $18.2 million to accumulate a ribbon of land occupying almost half the length of the 120 miles of the Rio Grande Valley in southernmost Texas.
Years before President Donald Trump promised to build his wall, Homeland Security erected an 18-foot-high fence here in a botched land grab that serves as a warning for the future.
An investigation by ProPublica and the Texas Tribune shows that Homeland Security cut unfair real estate deals, secretly waived legal safeguards for property owners, and ultimately abused the government’s extraordinary power to take land from private citizens.
The major findings:
Homeland Security circumvented laws designed to help landowners receive fair compensation. The agency did not conduct formal appraisals of targeted parcels. Instead, it issued low-ball offers based on substandard estimates of property values.
Larger, wealthier property owners who could afford lawyers negotiated deals that, on average, tripled the opening bids from Homeland Security. Smaller and poorer landholders took whatever the government offered--or wrung out small increases in settlements. The government conceded publicly that landowners without lawyers might wind up shortchanged, but did little to protect their interests.
The Justice Department bungled hundreds of condemnation cases. The agency took property without knowing the identity of the actual owners. It condemned land without researching facts as basic as property lines. Landholders spent tens of thousands of dollars to defend themselves from the government’s mistakes.
The government had to redo settlements with landowners after it realized it had failed to account for the valuable water rights associated with the properties, an oversight that added months to the compensation process.
On occasion, Homeland Security paid people for property they did not actually own. The agency did not attempt to recover the misdirected taxpayer funds, instead paying for land a second time once it determined the correct owners.
Nearly a decade later, scores of landowners remain tangled in lawsuits. The government has already taken their land and built the border fence. But it has not resolved claims for its value.
The errors and disparities played out family by family, block by block, county by county, up and down the length of the border fence.
The Loop family spent more than $100,000 to defend their farmland from repeated government mistakes about the size, shape and value of their property. The government built a fence across Robert De Los Santos’ family land but almost a decade later has yet to reach a settlement for it. Ranch hand Roberto Pedraza was accidentally paid $20,500 for land he did not even own.
Retired teacher Juan Cavazos was offered $21,500 for a two-acre slice of his land. He settled for that, figuring he couldn’t afford to hire a lawyer.
Rollins M. Koppel, a local attorney and banker, did not make the same mistake. A high-priced Texas law firm negotiated his offer from $233,000 to almost $5 million--the highest settlement in the Rio Grande Valley.
“We got screwed,” said Cavazos, 74.
Greg Giddens led the fence building project at Homeland Security. Now retired, Giddens said his team faced pressure from both U.S. Customs and Border Protection, which wanted the fence built quickly to benefit law enforcement, and from Congress, which set a deadline to complete the structure.
“Everybody wanted to do this right. But it was clear that the mission was to get this done,” Giddens said.
The fence was born in the middle of a fierce national debate on immigration reform. In 2006, Rep. Peter King, a New York Republican, introduced a plan to build hundreds of miles of a physical barrier along the southern border. Although controversial, the proposal won bipartisan support. Then Sen. Jeff Sessions, the Alabama Republican, led the fight for its passage. Yea votes came from Democratic Sens. Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama.
On Oct. 26, 2006, President Bush signed the Secure Fence Act. President Obama oversaw the fence’s construction. All told, Homeland Security built 654 miles of fence--just short of the 700 mile goal set by Congress--at a cost of $2.4 billion.
Now Trump has promised to finish the job with a much larger wall--nearly twice the height of the current fence, made of concrete, and occupying much of the remaining 1,300 miles of southern border unguarded by a physical barrier. His administration has declared its intent to take more land to build the wall in the central Rio Grande Valley, where much of the property remains in private hands.
For Trump to succeed, the federal government will have to file more eminent domain lawsuits using the same law that resulted in uneven payments the last time. Many of the players who oversaw construction of the fence are now working on making Trump’s wall a reality.
Mauricio Vidaurri’s voice catches when he envisions a wall running across his family farm south of Laredo on the banks of the Rio Grande.
A rancher, Vidaurri strongly supports better border protection. Border crossers constantly trespass on his land, and drug couriers have broken into a home on the ranch.
But a wall would almost certainly split the ranch that has been in his family since the 1700s. If Homeland Security wants to build a wall, Vidaurri knows he will be almost helpless to stop it.
“That’s a battle that we can’t win,” he said.
“EMINENT DOMAIN” PROBABLY EXISTS as a phrase in the consciousness of most Americans in some way or another. Maybe you heard it when the government was building a highway, or clearing a route for gas pipelines.
The sovereign power to seize land--and the need to protect property owners from its abuse--dates to the beginning of modern democracy.
In 1215, the Magna Carta limited royal power--including curtailing the sovereign’s ability to take property from his nobles. “No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions,” it read. A man’s castle was his home, and not even a king could take it without due process. The language survives unaltered in modern British law.
More than five centuries later, America’s earliest lawmakers enshrined private property rights in the U.S. Constitution. The Fifth Amendment required that the government provide “just compensation” if it took property through eminent domain--the English rendering of a Latin phrase meaning “supreme lordship.” If the government was going to appropriate property, it had to pay for it, fairly and fully.
Over the decades, eminent domain transformed the American landscape. The U.S. Interstate Highway System and some national parks, NASA’s Cape Canaveral and the U.S. Supreme Court building itself--none would have been possible without federal land condemnation. During World War II, the Justice Department boasted of being the largest real estate broker in the nation. The federal government acquired more than 20 million acres of land to build bases and other military sites--an area the size of South Carolina.
At the same time, the potential for abuse inspired deep-seated fear. An early Supreme Court justice described eminent domain as a “despotic power.” Property owners--from gigantic timber companies to people evicted from their homes--have fought bitterly to stop the government from taking their land, or to ensure a fair market price.
Politically, an unusual coalition of the right and the left has resisted the use of eminent domain.
Progressives have argued that disadvantaged groups feel the pain of condemnation more than most. In the 1950s and 1960s, officials deployed eminent domain to bulldoze mostly minority, mostly poor inner-city neighborhoods in the name of urban renewal. Government planners called it “blight removal.” Writer James Baldwin had another term: “It means negro removal,” he said after a meeting with U.S. Attorney General Robert Kennedy in 1963. “And the federal government is an accomplice to this fact.”
On the right, conservatives have warned of the so-called “grasping hand” of bureaucratic attacks on private property rights. That concern rose to national prominence in 2005, when the U.S. Supreme Court ruled against private property owners in the landmark case Kelo v. City of New London.
The Connecticut city condemned the homes of Susette Kelo and her neighbors to turn the land over to a private developer. The developer planned to build a hotel, housing, and office space to complement a new research center by Pfizer Corp., the pharmaceutical giant. The city determined the new development would generate jobs and tax revenue.
In a 5-4 decision, the court decided that taking land from one set of private property owners to give to another private entity was permissible as a “public use.” Kelo’s small pink house was relocated and her neighborhood was bulldozed, but nothing was ever built.
The ruling united ideological enemies. Ralph Nader blasted it. So did Rush Limbaugh. A few property rights activists were so angry they sought to condemn the New Hampshire home of Justice David Souter and replace it with the “Lost Liberty Hotel.”
One of the few high-profile supporters of the ruling was Donald Trump, then a New York developer. “I happen to agree with it 100 percent,” he said. His opinion was informed by experience. In the 1990s, he lost an eminent domain battle when a local agency failed in its bid to tear down an elderly woman’s home in Atlantic City to make room for a limousine parking lot for Trump’s casino.
Trump’s enthusiasm for taking land endures. During a February 2016 presidential debate, Trump described it as almost like winning the lottery. “When eminent domain is used on somebody’s property, that person gets a fortune,” he told the audience. “They get at least fair market value, and if they are smart, they’ll get two or three times the value of their property.”
In response to the Kelo decision, 45 states, including Texas, passed new laws to improve landholder protections. Some states banned private-to-private takings. Others required “supercompensation”--payments at greater than the fair market value. Those reforms built on others passed over the years. California pays out up to $5,000 for property owners to hire their own appraisers. Texas provides special commissions to review land seizures before the start of costly legal proceedings. Utah created an independent ombudsman to help landowners navigate the process.
But the furor to fix eminent domain abuse bypassed one important entity: the federal government. After Kelo, President Bush issued an executive order requiring agencies to better monitor land seizures. Congress passed no meaningful legislation.
And so, by the time the land agents had finished knocking on doors in the Rio Grande Valley at the end of 2007, the property owners faced a federal government armed with powerful legal tools, many created decades earlier for a very different purpose than building a border fence.
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