#was the only way to stop the pain
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I start to get annoyed when people start discussing periods because there’s always this specific type of person who acts like the only reason someone would genuinely hate having a period is because of sexism, and to be clear sexism can definitely play a part in that, but also sexism plays no role in the debilitating cramps and nausea and migraines that leave me bedridden for most of the week. Sexism plays no role in the personal discomfort and sensory hell that comes from having a period and having autism. It doesn’t matter that what my body is doing is a “natural cycle”, it fucking sucks, it’s miserable, just because it’s natural doesn’t mean I have to love it, I started researching ways to stop my period or get a hysterectomy when I was like 11/12 because I was in such unbearable pain every single month. Yes misogyny can absolutely cause people to feel negatively toward having a period but this ain’t misogyny, this is horrific pain that kept me miserable for the entirety of my teenage years and I only resent it less now because I found out how to manage it with birth control.
#I read a comment that made me mad but I ain’t trying to argue with someone#I’ll be mad on my own blog#back when I was a teenager I used to get SO mad#because I saw so many posts that were so weird#about how periods were magical and spiritual and it’s so special that women experience this#while I was curled up on the bathroom floor with a heating pad literally burning me because that#was the only way to stop the pain#and when I tried to express how much I fucking hated having a period#I got told i was just influenced by the patriarchy#like no I’m influenced by the uterus in my body trying to kill me dead#I don’t even experience dysphoria towards having a period because it’s so painful that gender is in the back of my mind#I’ve been on birth control for the past two years and it’s been fucking life saving#I don’t have to miss work or cancel plans. no more vomiting. no more pain.#it’s a fucking miracle#I can’t understand why anyone would think I should /like/ the hell I’ve experienced
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Reuniting with a distorted past.
Extra:(New personality tested gone wrong)
wanted to play with rin living in the aftermath aus aswell and had these drawings laying around to share so yay
Panel 1: Was buried alive.
Comic 1: Who are you supposed to be?
new friends
Comic 2: Misguided protection.
obito still sensing the warning signs of rin losing her temper. anyways they proceeded to be dragged into the ocean by rin like some sea monster
Comic 3: Finding out (Now what will you do?)
obito is harshly brought back from his delusions because now its not just kushina but rin too who he needs to ripped out the tail beast from
#naruto#naruto fanart#kakashi hatake#rin nohara#obito uchiha#naruto sukea#fanart#art#my art#sketch#drawing#digital art#hope i can add something new and if not may i shall add fuel to the fire for rin!! :)#So Rin loses ALL of her memories forever (kinda)#the only thing that remains for sure is the feeling of missing something that she'll never reach it again#she's alone and is left to roam directionless until she meets an elderly civilian that is also alone#she stays with her for a year+ but she passes away. But Rin with her new identity decides to walk forward (with love comes pain#but to love at all was the greatest thing to her.) She cherishes her new memories and won't let it stop her from moving on#inbetween this time frame she meets isobu in her mind after he gains enough form within her (who is also without memories)#Now WAY LATER she meets Sukea who looks like he's about to panic and she tries to help (which uh doesnt work too well)#but then Sukea joins her on her travels (sending minato an letter through his summons of rin being alive and forgetting the mission)#they both wander around (he doesnt know how to bring up their past) but then obito appears (always at the wrong times)#At first glance he's pissed but then realizes that this isnt fake AND its both the worse thing yet best thing to ever happen#Now Rin thinks she made two new friends who give her feelings of warmth but they both also reminded her of something old she thinks#PS Minato and Kushina are freaking out back in the village but can't do anything about it (Obito hasn't acted on his plans yet so yes)
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something happening on a mission, something personal that has soap spiralling; panic and rage making him reckless, thoughtless, and ghost has to draw the line
“you’re compromised johnny; you know what that means?”
“you’re not pulling me out,” soap immediately snarls. he turns on him and ghost barely recognises him; venomous fear turning his eyes to unyielding ice. "you're not sidelining me; i need to be in this-!"
but ghost has never been afraid of venom; spat or dripped straight from bared fangs.
he snakes out a hand grip the back of his neck, jerking him in a rough shake. "if you can't think, you can't be a soldier," he growls and he flinches like he's been struck.
his lips quiver as they twist in a sneer and he wrenches, trying to free himself of his hold.
ghost doesn't let him.
"it means you give your body to me because your head ain't fucking attached to it anymore."
soap stills, body trembling beneath his hand as he sucks in shaking breaths.
he tightens his grip, pulling him closer and digs his forehead hard into his. “it means you give yourself to me so i can have the weapon that you are and use you the way you're meant to be used."
the ice in soap's eyes fractures.
ghost’s voice drops to a whisper, spoken only to johnny, not this facade of vengeance and pain, and wills it to reach him through the glaciers.
“so i can keep you safe ‘til it’s done and i can bring you back.”
#in my head its bc graves abducts his sister and is using her as hostage to draw him out knowing ghost will always follow him#but the intensity and intimacy of saying ‘you cant trust your mind not to betray you so let me be in charge of your body until you can’#after what happened to tommy he could never deny johnny his right to save his sister#but its bc of what happened to tommy that he knows he cant let him do it alone with only his rage to guide him#hes more likely to get himself killed and ghost wont live through that#so he has to balance it#and the only way he knows how is to completely shut down soap’s mind until hes no more than instinct and muscle memory#if he cant think practically then dont let him think at all#reduce him to a place where he can only follow orders#and when its finally over and his sister is safe and graves is dead#only then will he drag johnny back up to the surface#he’ll do it even if it means dragging him kicking and screaming back to humanity#instead of letting him sink in the depths where nothing hurts. theres no fear down there. no pain. only order#and thats the risk ghost took sending johnny to that place but he only did it bc he would stop at nothing to bring him back#and help him through the after#the breakdown. the rush of panic and rage and relief and anguish johnnys been supressing on his order#it was his word that turned johnny into a ghost#and its his touch that brings him back to the man#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#cod#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghost x soap#ghoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#save post
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seriously I don’t think any show has captured the pain of being a bystander more than miseinen. like i just can’t stop thinking about everything he’s told in this episode and everything he sees and how powerless he is to do anything about it. when you say bystander, you think of people that chose to do nothing, who just stand on the sidelines and watch but don’t get involved. and maybe that’s how minase started out, but this show proves over and over again that it’s not a choice anymore. given the choice and ability, minase would stand up and do something. he’s not the person anymore stood outside hirukawa’s house with the emergency number dialed but ultimately doesn’t do it. bc he cares too much now, and when you care, you want to help. but the world is so rigid in what they expect of him and hirukawa that there is no way to help.
i keep thinking about what the teacher said at the start of the ep. this doesn’t concern you. it’s already settled. don’t make your parents worry. when minase says he’s telling the truth, he’s told to focus on what’s important- and so the truth isn’t important here, neither is what hirukawa thinks or minase thinks. it’s what someone has already decided they are, and they are just too busy or just don’t care enough to go to the effort to see whether that decision is right. it doesn’t affect them whether hirukawa is the awful person they think he is or misunderstood, to them he’s just a part of the job they want to deal with and move on. even though no other adults are as present as hirukawa’s dad or minase’s mom, the show still has these small moments that show us that there is no other option for them to get help bc no one at school cares either. i said before they live in a world of ignorance where they’re unable to ignore, and so they deal with it all instead of being able to find help. and it feels equally horrible when you consider that unlike a parent, who yes should feel some responsibility or obligation but ultimately there’s nothing holding them to that, teachers are employed and paid to care, they should help these kids as much as they teach them, so to see them chose ignorance too is just as hurtful.
and back to minase, this episode showed us perfectly how much it can hurt when you know you can’t do anything. he can’t comfort hirukawa no matter how much he wants to if hirukawa won’t let him, he can’t change his mind and how he thinks of himself bc hirukawa’s trauma traps him in that mindset. he can’t stay by hirukawa’s side and support him if hirukawa sends him anyway, he can’t fight against what someone who’s hurting wants, all he can do is listen, bc no one ever listens to what hirukawa wants, so he will, even if it hurts him, even if he knows that it’ll hurt hirukawa too. minase is done with being a bystander but even here he is forced to be one, bc the truth doesn’t get through to hirukawa just like it didn’t get through to that teacher. what’s right, which would be to stay with hirukawa and help him, doesn’t matter just like it didn’t matter to that teacher, all he can do is listen and do as they say when people tell him to walk away, that he can’t do anything. and that’s why this show is excellent, bc it makes me feel the pain of knowing but being powerless just as much as I do the pain of actually experiencing these things.
#I might be a bit broken#this show is just too good#it’s too excellent#the acting from these two this ep was just fucking off the charts#the way hirukawa’s response to this was almost cold and stoic you could see the shock and the confusion of what he’s supposed to feel about#this and you also get the moments where the hurt and emotion breaks through and he just breaks down#and you get the desperation that minase feels to help and support and stop hirukawa from blaming himself. he just wants to do something even#if it’s just be there for him and make it so that he doesn’t have to go through this alone but he can’t even do that bc he can’t fight what#hirukawa wants even if he knows it’s not what he truly wants- he knows how hirukawa feels about him but he also knows how difficult this is#for hirukawa to reckon with and he knows how hirukawa will burden himself before he does anyone else and that’s not good but it’s what#hirukawa thinks and feels and as much as you want to stop that there’s no switch no magic words he can say to get him out of that mindset#and so he has to go bc it’s what hirukawa wants and minase is the only person that actually listens to him#god I’m in pain#miseinen#our youth
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Is it insane for me to get emotional about Dang Litefoot? Let me get insane over Dang for a moment.
I know a lot of more emotionally intense moments in D20 are kind of stepped past and not taken in impact continuing on from it so I am simply left to go insane by myself. I already really liked Dang from the start with his very easy fuck authority attitude and his being a presumably struggling older teenager/young adult-I mean come on he's living in his uncles shed, it can't be said he has a great situation. So, already, I really liked him and found some relatability- also the sort of disheveled outgrown dyed hair reminded me quite a lot of people I've seen on T for awhile and I was personally quite happy to see that.
And clearly, Dang's familiar with being an outcast. However much his belief in Rashab goes, its clearly something precious to him that brings him a Peace and Comfort- how he got through the initial getting into the game so smoothly as the others struggle was holding true to his belief. It was both very funny for the insanity of the bits and the comedy in it but something I very much enjoyed that he had some sort of grounding- and then getting just absolutely punched in the gut by having it confirmed how much of an outcast Dang has been and how Lonely he is. Standing away from the group as they shop and recount, thinking about that horrible hope he must have had that his friends might take him seriously, might actually Respect him, since clearly theres insane magic shit thats REAL in the world with this insane thing they all went through together- that theres a chance they'll take him seriously.
Being so clearly not- Respected about this thing that's so important to him. Even with how nice russell and wendell were, clearly still finding him insane and not paying the thought to try and take him Seriously, ask him any questions about his belief or how its helped him, how he feels about this all-
Of course it sounds insane, out of character thats a big part of the bit. But it cements how no matter what- Dang is an outcast. No matter what insane shit happens to other people, something that can bond and get a group together like nothing else could- Dangs still alone.
Not to mention the immediately jumping to absolutely horrible coping mechanisms, getting drunk and sleeping with strangers. Its just- its the fact it all happened, that loneliness, going to those unhealthy coping mechanisms, almost dying, and then just- continuing on. Coming back. Not even mentioning what had happened to the others like hey I just almost died- the fucking cutting away to Paula talking about his "Stupid Rashab thing"
IMJUSTTT Im just I feel so insane im getting so emotional over Dang Litefoot and i want to give him a fucking hug and say I'd love to talk with him and understand him more and also hey lets talk about some healthier coping mechanisms buddy alright okay youre doing so good im fuckin sobbing
#sorry for the rant asdl;kfj#the fact too just combating the pain of loneliness with the act of being Close to people#even in a really unhealthy dangerous way#AHHHHH#im so#help#im not okay#i feel like im the only one breaking down over this#dang litefoot#dimension 20#dnd#never stop blowing up#d20 never stop blowing up#nsbu#d20 nsbu#pain and suffering#i wrote way too much asdfl;kj
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for my money, labru is head and shoulders above other ships involving them simply due to the unmatched yap potential, i imagine them feeding off each other's energy like they're slipstreaming in mario kart until they start going fast enough to break the sound barrier
#dungeon meshi#dunmesh spoilers#labru#the Compounding Yap Effect#thinking about kabru wanting to understand the value of monsterhood despite how much pain they caused him ...#laios wanting to understand the value of humanity despite how much pain they caused him ...#none of this even mentioning how much kabru needs a person like laios to spur his character growth#kabru is a schemy schemer who schemes and it's one of his best qualities#but it's also what gets him killed over and over again in an attempt to get closer to laios and co when none of his usual tricks worked#it took until the absolute 11th hour where kabru HAD to choose#between potentially unlocking the secrets of the dungeon or giving it up to the canaries and losing his chance forever#if kabru had fallen back on what he knew he would have killed laios then and never got what he wanted#laios forcing kabru to be honest with his feelings#(a feeling kabru had buried so deep he was barely aware he had it in the first place)#is what finally gets laios to stop and listen#and he finally gives kabru enough of a reason to trust him and make kabru stop the canaries and give the party time to escape#and it's ONLY then that kabru is able to get what he wants#legit i cant imagine a more fulfilling ending for kabru than getting to directly engage his interest in a way that directly helps people#with someone who both needs wants and sincerely appreciates his skills#literally riding off into the sunset gay ass ending im#im going to be sick#day 28 being normal about them
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teen wolf meme: [1/5] motifs -> fire
You find the girl wearing that necklace, she's your arsonist. Murderer. Excuse me? Arson happens to property. This girl's a murderer.
#teen wolf#derek haale#peter hale#jordan parrish#isaac lahey#scott mccall#twedit#twgifs#mine#my gifs#twmeme#WERE ONTO MOTIFS EVERYBODY LETSGOOO#first up on the roster is fire obviously#the hale fire literally caused every single event in the show without kate burning it down there'd be no angry peter seeking revenge#who'd then turn scott#and of course fire is then carried through the show as a force of destruction#even more benevolent fires in the show like parrish's hellfire is still seen as a destructive element#but also fire is the only thing capable of curing wolfsbane poisoning#as you can see tho i didn't include any wolfsbane being burned out here but it's still very interesting to look at the somewhat dichotomy#created here#because even when fire is used in a healing way it's still something that causes intense pain for the person#which of course links to the whole pain makes you human of the show#also i'm not really happy with the colouring on all these gifs but i HAD to stop abusing the colour tools in davinci i was going insane#and there's definitely a better quote for this but it's the first one that came to mind and i'm tired so that's what we're going with
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Yuma beings Astral's main concern even when Astral himself is in danger.
#Astral always worries about Yuma even when he is the one in danger to be honest#I think about this episode way too much#because those two always make me scream even when they are separated#I just can't with them I'm sorry#the second Astral felt that Yuma was calling for him he didn't care about anything else#even when he confronted Number 96#he sent Utopia to Yuma even if the Number was his only protection from 96#he got distracted in his escape because Yuma was in crisis#and even when he was literally on the verge of being absorbed by 96 even if he was in pain his only thought once again was Yuma#also the way Astral says Yuma's name in the third gif is so soft and sad#he was feeling that Yuma was giving up#Astral didn't have any idea of what was happening outside the Key#and aside from sending him Utopia Astral couldn't do anything else to help Yuma#and this breaks my heart#Astral loves Yuma so much#so much that I can't think rational when I think about them#they are so precious to me#and I love Astral so much I can't stop repeating it#keyshipping#astral zexal#astral yugioh#yu gi oh zexal#yugioh zexal#ygo zexal#zexal
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Look.
Ace Attorney fandom.
I know why people don't like Turnabout Bigtop. I am among the people who dislike Turnabout Bigtop.
But I GET why people like the case. I'm not going to be one of those annoying people who just blindly dump on it because I hate those mfs too.
Thing about Bigtop isn't that it sucks. Thing isn't the weird grooming stuff (though that is a huge part of it). It's not that it could've been good.
It's that - in my personal OPINION - it could have been *great*.
I think it had the potential to be one of the best third cases in the trilogy. It had everything; a fun and goofy setting fit for a pretty dang goofy lawyer game - where the environment itself had jokes and quips and one-liners and mishaps and tomfoolery written all over it, it had the previous case introducing a very interesting and important plotline that gave background for one of the more well-loved characters while also introducing an equally fucked up and lovable new one who was a child forced into a shit childhood of naivete in a CIRCUS with another character who was very naive and childish - whose interactions could have been funny and cute and reflective of said shit from the previous case (seriously she becomes such an important character in the 4th case, WHY would they not include her in this one for some character development? How did they fuck up letting a CHILD explore a CIRCUS?? That would have made the interactions flow MUCH better).
They had a pretty good, sympathetic killer imo, a morally dubious victim, an asshole of a client (who was pretty flat admittedly in-game, but I like his weird, topsy-turvy reasoning for it in the anime. Also, I think Max being kinda a dick would have bode well for the themes of Farewell since most of his clients up to this point have been like...nice? Not nice, but sympathetic, but him having to defend someone who's innocent but a prick would have shown him that just because someone is an asshole, doesn't mean they deserve to suffer for it and that they have the potential to grow as people, which is almost a complete foil to what Matt was. Ultimately, I would have loved the contrast of them as clients and I think it would have also served as character development for Phoenix, especially with his low-empathy tendencies).
They just didn't think that far ahead. They just didn't execute it well enough. They just decided to make three of the adult characters fight for the hand in marriage of a teenage girl. (Bat's part of the story was actually kinda good if he was just YOUNGER, I think him doing that for Regina would have been a stupid thing someone in the circus would do to impress their crush. Damn you Ace Attorney and your weird treatment of underage girls!!)
It just flopped and that's ok.
Even though it kinda sucked, it can still mean something to me.
Also I'm a Moe Curls apologist. I liked him, shut up.
#didn't care for the dialogue either.#DON'T GET ME STARTED ABOUT FRANZISKA DON'T DON'T DON'T DON'T DON'T YOU DARE GET ME STARTED#THIS CASE WAS SO GOOD FOR HER DEVELOPMENT THAT'S NOT EVEN A “COULD HAVE” THING#sure she could've been fleshed out a bit more#but the stuff we get from our interactions with her in this case is GOOD. SHIT. It's just that this case is so hated that it's overshadowed#and yeah. i like Moe Curls. i think he's cool and he added some flair in an otherwise bleak case.#i think his whole unfunny clown schtick was very entertaining. it reminded me of this one shel silverstein poem i loved as a kid#clooney the clown.#tbh ive wanted to rewrite Bigtop for a while now#get a script together and all that. but im an amateur writer who's burnt out as shit and never posts anything writing related#except analysis i get way too excited and proud of. oh well#maybe someday.#also rq why does every other tripple-a game get really good in depth analysis video essays#with their complex literary themes talked about#but with Ace Attorney - a game about reading longer than most books - half the fans have the absolute most dogshit literacy comprehension#it's actually painful. ESPECIALLY with Franziska's character#anyway i'll stop.#ace attorney trilogy#ace attorney#ace attorney justice for all#turnabout big top#franziska von karma#phoenix wright#phoenix wright ace attorney#pearl fey#farewell my turnabout#moe curls#regina berry#ig ore if this is incomprehensible i did not proofread this.#i simply do not like how fran's only traits to somea these mfs is “annoying overemotional teenager haha grumpy whip lady”
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listen to me. in a swap au ramona's knives would NOT be matthew. matthew got over his heartbreak fairly easily once he had his own musical to perform on and knives does not have that kind of emotional resilience in the face of scott's shittiness she is seventeen years of age. matthew would more likely be like kim or something. he's hiding stuff and he never got closure but at least he has a healthy outlet for his emotions which helps him come to terms with it in some sense. knives would be ROXY. heartbreak central.
#ik ppl are swapping them like that bc 'both poc' and 'both gay' but matthew is Not knives it's a bit painful to implant him onto her ngl#more stuff under the tags#scott pilgrim vs the world#spto#scott pilgrim takes off#scott pilgrim#matthew patel#knives chau#roxie richter#ramona flowers#spvstw#scott pilgram#maybe wallace would be envy. can you imagine if scollace broke up in college??? Yikes#anyw hear my cries or whatever wallace would not be roxy their relationship w their respective ex is way too different#i will talk abt this forever if no one stops me#WAIT. WALLACE LISA MILLER. RAMONA'S INSECURITY COMPOUNDING AND SHE THINKS HE'S CHEATING ON HER WITH HIM. MESSY.#but their canon r/ship stays the same bc i like them#this is quickly becoming a 'swap aus r wrong abt everything' post im sorry i only started this for knives#scollace#fascinating as a qpr to me#meta#character analysis#swap au#juni speaks
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i cant stop thinking about yuuta now. like sure i liked him well enough but after this chapter he has my entire heart. and he is so so so tragic. (of course he is everyone here is)
its this that i keep going back to in my head. it encapsulates what i think is yuuta's grief.
right before this, of course, we've seen him screaming about how nobody ever cared about demanding gojo to be a monster. he cares for gojo so deeply, of course, because gojo saved him, gojo is practically his dad, and he actually sees gojo.
hes a special grade, one of few, and out of the special grades, i think hes the only one with realistic potential to surpass gojo. he has the potential to be gojos peer, so gojo doesnt have to be alone. hes the only one strong enough to save gojo, in a way, to actually take up his burden and allow gojo to be human in a way he hasnt been since geto.
but yuuta is simply too late. hes too young, too unpolished, too late. gojo's already been a monster for a decade, with no other choice and with nobody to stand by his side. yuuta cant save him now.
thats what i think really crystallized for me in this panel. yuuta is telling gojo about his plan, the plan that was so controversial with everyone else because of yuuta's humanity being on the line, the plan that only he could ever pull off. and gojo shrugs it off, not shocked in the least, and just tells yuuta that he's got to keep working because he's not good enough yet.
the talk about yuuta's heritage is so important to this too. "you might've been born even more blessed than me". does that ring any bells, maybe? "i alone am the honored one?"
gojo is acknowledging that yuuta could've been at his side, could've been strong enough to save satoru, for him to not be alone in this curse of a blessing of strength anymore. but hes just. too. late.
#jjk 261#jjk spoilers#gojo satoru#yuta okkotsu#im sorry besties i have brainworms#i just cannot stop thinking about these two i cant it is so goddamn painful#what if yuuta was like five years earlier?#would that have been enough?#but no it had to be this way#because if hed been the same age as gojo gojo wouldnt have been able to save him back then#gojo wouldnt have known how to i think#and yuuta really only unlocked his potential because of the geto fight so#even if hed started on basics before that he mightve not gotten stronger fast enough it had to happen like it did#it was always going to be like this#yuuta is just too late and gojo cant be saved#ok im gonna go fucking cry now sorry ill stop ranting
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I remember getting nosebleeds every so often last year and it always freaked people out and the only thing I could do was laugh it off while I put a bunch of napkins of some ice cream place to my nose so I absolutely relate Machete in that nosebleed comic
.
#ough sorry to hear that! I hope you're doing better now and the nosebleeds have stopped#I've only gotten them a handful of times but they aren't fun#they are a little spooky#the way they start out of nowhere#and the fact you can't see the direct source of the bleeding because it's coming from inside of your head#if you get a cut it's much easier to go 🩸👀 and think to yourself 'ah yea it's just a scratch no worries'#and press on it to make it stop bleeding and maybe put a bandaid if you think it needs that#pains that you can't see with your eyes are more confusing and alarming#at least to me I don't know if this is making any sense#maybe I'm just lizard brained#answered#anonymous
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and another member of the lov gets what they thought they wanted but at what cost. spinners has been the most interesting to me so far because it parallels so neatly with izuku’s. both of them feeling powerless and accepting a quirk because that’s what they thought they would need to be powerful and change things. both of them sitting across the table from each other, scarred and broken by the quirks that they accepted. spinner realizing too late that it wasn’t a quirk he needed to save his friend—it was just him. and maybe not accepting those quirks in the first place would have put him in a better position to save shigaraki (but all for one didn’t want him to save shigaraki, so). shigaraki’s murderer and his best friend. hm.
but also, to have it come back now, to have spinner say this now TO izuku, in the same chapter that izuku is like ‘how can we stop this from happening again (how can we stop the next person lashing out before they get past the point of no return)’ and tsukauchi is like ‘we can’t without more heroes’ like NO! that’s not the answer! spinner told him the answer. it’s not in a quirk or in more heroes. it’s being willing to reach out and see someone for who they are.
#like. they are HAMMERING us over the head with this#Izuku Is Going To Help That Guy Without His Quirk#literally that’s the only way to honor shigaraki’s legacy at this point that is the only way this story could go is with him#stopping the pain from passing on by reaching out the way he failed with shigaraki#I’m already seeing people like ‘izuku learned nothing’ and I NEED people to have some reading comprehension#bnha 427#bnha spoilers#sorry for the tag rant I’m just. getting tired of certain people.#tt talks#tt reads bnha
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thinking about the way ghost doesn't hesitate to start killing shadows when graves betrays them but soap only takes one hostage
you can almost hear the voice in his head telling him it doesn't have to be this way; they can still talk it out
"i'm calling shepherd"
his first instinct when confronted with betrayal is to play it by the books; to go up the chain and sort it out democratically. that goes against everything we've seen him do; he’s quick to drop his enemies and bucks authority at every chance except for the one time he's confronted with the barrels of his allies' guns
he wants a peaceful resolution; for the first time we've ever seen, he doesn't want violence to be the answer
there has to be another fix, a solution that doesn't end with him killing the same men he's been working with; his friends
nothing's happened yet
it doesn't have to go this way
but ghost has been betrayed before. he knows the way this ends; either with him six feet under or his enemy
he doesn't hesitate
it's only when they knock alejandro out that soap shoots; when they spill the first blood and cross a line they can never come back from
only when ghost orders him to run and he has to cover his retreat
and somewhere along the line, between civilians’ screams and taunting voices, between his shaking breath and ghost steady in his ear, that naivety is stripped away; his trust turned to teeth that he uses to sink into throats of men he'd have given his life for
"be careful who you trust, sergeant; people you know can hurt you the most"
he's learned the price of trust
just like ghost did
but unlike ghost, he has someone to guide him through the aftermath
"good advice, It"
#i might crown myself the ceo of soap meta at this point i love digging into this boy#but it seriously fucks me up how much he tries to de escalate the situation#invoking shepherd like hes trying to remind graves of who funds him and the power he holds#the consequences he’ll face if he goes through with this. just stop and think it through first#only to be stricken silent when graves drops ‘general shepherd sends his regards’#he doesnt say a single word after that#ghosts the one who picks up the lead for him ‘he knows about this?’#he can still function through his shock and the gut wrenching betrayal bc he’s been through this before#and he knows freezing will get him killed#but soap doesnt#he freezes#getting shot is something he wouldve been through before but being shot by an ally?#at that moment he isnt sergeant mactavish#hes johnny and hes in shock#and thats why ghost yelling for johnny doesnt reach him#he only breaks through when he calls him soap. when hes forced back into a soldiers mindset#thats all thats keeping him going. he isnt johnny a man whos been betrayed by a friend#hes a soldier following direct orders to keep himself alive#i can only imagine the after#when he lets his rage run out and is faced with the vulnerable and painful betrayal#but ghosts there to help him through that too. there for johnny the way he wished someone had been there for him#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#cod mw2#john soap mactavish#soap cod#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#soapghost
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Y’all ever think about if Sora falls to darkness that inside his heart will look like the Destiny Islands falling again
#i do a lot#kingdom hearts#one of the biggest reasons i think we’ll see something like this in canon. briefly at least#not only would parallel ddd w ven’s heart/armor no longer there to protect sora#and roxas and xion gone from sora’s heart too. so sora would be alone#and actually there as opposed to in the RoL/awake when riku dives in#but also there is no way nomura’s gonna pass up the chance to bring us full circle like this. he loves making his characters revisit/relive#worlds and memories like this to make a point. and sora’s heart was sunset in ddd… following kh1 the dark and stormy night comes next#The thought of sora and riku reaffirming their love and friendship here when it broke the first time the islands fell#both of them having to in a way relive this horrible night for the final time#but riku doing the total opposite of last time. trying to save sora trying to stop the darkness from consuming everything#being totally honest with sora. reaching his hand out for sora but this time he’s not being consumed by darkness.#he’s become the light in the darkness. and they finally reach each other they finally grasp hands. I’m chewing on glass#i don’t think sora would ‘fall’ to darkness in the traditional sense#thematically i think it makes more sense for him to be faced w another martyr choice#though his own negative feelings would still be tangled up in there. and this would parallel kh3#and if sora chooses to let darkness into his heart to save others it’d also parallel kh1 w riku choosing to open the door/let the darkness#into destiny islands at the risk of others#god it’d be just like kh1 but we’d be playing as riku and he’d be the one looking frantically for sora#a reversed dynamic. but now they understand each other’s pain and feelings so they can reach each other#figuratively and literally#i love parallels i love symbolism i love themes kick my ass !!!!
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Took some screenshots to vaguely trace over just because I feel so rusty with any and all brush strokes, given the new PC + physical health being in shambles and affecting my output. Here's hoping I'll be able to draw more often next year.
#honkai star rail#honkai star rail herta#herta hsr#hsr#honkai star rail fanart#hsr art#hsr fanart#herta#my art#... first time i draw hsr i realize. im glad i dedicated it to my fave#i feel like i have one fave in nearly every media i get into that i largely dont speak openly about#but who consumes me in a way the ones i DO enjoy and talk about dont#its hard to explain. either way herta is one such character#GOD i need to draw her again. the only reason i stopped now is because im tired and pain returned#i wanna write her too... i guess we'll see if that happens and if so how
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