#was talking to my friends yesterday and Ough

[shippy-from-apocalypse]

Must a girl communicate how much he loves his friends? isn't enought to Just look at them autistically?

[anothermonikan]

affirmations: I am NOT lonely, I have so many friends who love and care about me who I speak too and see all the time (this is an unequivocally true statement but my brain isn't feeling it!)

[mangoisms]

crumbl cookie so heavenly the day after when you warm it up that this is what it means to be alive. i think

[astrxealis]

wuthering waves kinda slay but it does not have enough power to have kept me hooked longer than 1/2 hours Rip

[ragnarokhound]

hey sweetie how are you. I made banana bread for breakfast tomorrow but DON’T touch it till then, it won’t be as good

there’s a post going around about the dynamic of a guard dog character, a lamb, and a wolf (one wants to possess and protect the lamb, one wants to devour it). How do you think jaytimkon fits in this?

ps… 10 things i hate about you? thoughts?

hey sweetie, i'm pretty good uwu had a nice day yesterday walking around my neighborhood with a friend! <3 And ough herrghh mrregghh gragghhhh (<- actively holding myself back from tearing into the banana bread immediately, i'll be strong for you bb but know that you are testing my limits in new and exciting ways)

Putting my responses to both (!! >:0) the jaytimkon and 10 Things ideas under a cut because *deep sigh* it got long lol

BRUH. BRUHHHHHHH. You cannot simply say this to me. You Cannot. Simply. SAY THIS TO ME, YOU'RE NOT SLICK

Once again testing my limits in new and exciting ways because I have a different WIP deadline fast approaching so I simply cannot write more for my actively inspired by guard dog x lamb x wolf jaytimkon WIP to SHOW YOU, in DETAIL, EXACTLY how i think jaytimkon fits into this, BUT

My feelings on this are many, and partially answered in these asks already. But I'll reiterate that they are all three facets simultaneously, baby. Depending on who's talking, they think of themselves as this, that, or the other; the loving, vigilant protector - the helpless, vulnerable bleeding heart - the hungry, slinking interloper. The story I have been brooding over for almost a year now (egads) WILL feature a somewhat slowburn where each of them takes turns realizing which one they are and slowly changing their minds as the narrative progresses and their relationship heats up 🔥w🔥BUT BE PATIENT BECAUSE I SURE HAVE TO BE (*whining and whimpering i crave this banana bread)

P.S. I love the taming of the shrew, and it's absolutely perfect jaytim material are you KIDDING. Cramming two different concepts into one ask. Evil. Diabolical. I love my wife.

10 Things I Hate About You is such a fun movie, and I could honestly see the role of Kate being played equally well by either Tim or Jason lol, and in a somewhat reverse robins style, Dick taking on the role of Bianca. Wally or Kori or [Your Choice Here] in the role of Cameron, wanting to date him. In fact, ohhhh OHHHH okay. Okay bear with me while i cook--

Consider Oldest Child Dick Grayson-Wayne who is super popular, super well loved, everyone wants to date him - but he always begs off because he doesn't want his younger brother, Jason, to be left in the lurch. Standoffish, bookish, i-heard-he-did-time, 'whats it to you' Jason, who has maybe two friends but they go to a different school so he doesn't have anyone to sit with at lunch besides his charming older brother. Dick's party line is, "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my bro. Good luck! :)" (Something something, Dick and Jason are both adopted, something something Dick doesn't actually wanna date anyone, send tweet)

NOW. Fast forward to when Dick meets someone he might actually want to date. But to keep the ravenous hordes away from him, he still, regretfully, must stick to his guns. Jason needs to be dating/friends with/hanging out with/etc someone else before he and this person (again, Your Dickship of Choice Here) can boogie down.

Cue Dick nudging Jason out of the blue to strike out on his own and Jason getting squinty-eyed suspicious (and secretly a little hurt) that Dick apparently sees him as some kind of burden to be offloaded or whatever. Thanks bro. :(

Thus, Dick and his prospective SO hatch a Scheme. A Scheme to see Jason Woo'd in such a way to keep the heat off Dick from both the collective horny student body AND his sensitive younger brother. Enter Tim Drake.

Tim transferred this year and people have been speculating like crazy about him. His grades are insane so people think he'll be a nerd, but he skateboards to school so people think he'll be a stoner, but he's crazy athletic so people think he'll be trying out for the swim team or something - but mostly? People don't know shit. He's friendly enough, but stays apart. An enigma. Cuts school at least twice a week, hasn't seemed to pick any one crowd with which to integrate, is unaffiliated with any one piece of the greater student body. The most anyone can really tell is that he's just a little unhinged and strapped for cash. He'll pull some crazy stunts - if you've got the money.

Which makes him perfect.

Cue Shakespearean shenanigans leading to Some Asshole (your choice of Dick notp here) offering to pay Tim if he dates Jason Todd-Wayne. Tim thinks it's kinda stupid and an asshole move at first, but apparently the money is too good for him to pass up. So he bites.

Tim stalkers his way into interacting with Jason (something something Jason shoving Tim against the wall outside a 7-11 after school and snarling in his face, "i know you're following me. the fuck do you want" and Tim smirking at him, "to ask you out." Jason blinking, then dropping him like he's been burned. "Bullshit." Tim shrugging and running to catch up, falling into step beside him. "It's the truth." Huge Jason side-eye.) and events spiral from there.

(Vulnerable conversations. Jason: People look at me like I'm trash. Like I'm one bad day away from snapping and proving that they were right not to trust me all along. Like I don't have feelings that matter. I like that you're not scared of me. I like that you seem to fuckin'... like me. Or whatever. But I don't know how to trust it. Tim: People only want me around when they think they can get something out of me. They don't like me just what I can do for them. You've never made me feel like that. You don't give a shit about what I can do. It makes me want to-- it makes me want to give you things. To do things for you. I dunno. I guess I'm just waiting for you to tell me to fuck off and finally mean it.)

The reveals go badly. Hurt and betrayal on every side. (Turns out Tim needed the money because his mom's dead, dad's in a coma, and the family company that was supposed to keep Tim afloat has gone belly up. All of his parents' money is tied up in trusts and behind red tape. He's on his own.) Jason is pissed at Tim, but pissed at Dick especially.

The brothers fight. It's a doozy. Dick apologizes for going over Jason's head and manipulating things. Jason apologizes for being an asshole and making Dick feel like he has to be the responsible golden child 24/7, and also for punching Dick in the face. They promise to do better. Then Jason tracks Tim down to his shitty apartment (Tim had seemed super nervous the one time Jason had tried to come home with him, and now he thinks he knows why) and bangs on his door. He hasn't been to school in over a week.

They fight. It's great.

("What you did was shitty." "Yeah." "I don't forgive you for it." "...yeah." "So you better start thinking about how you're gonna fuckin' make it up to me." "Y-yeah?" "Yeah. Like fuck I'm missing prom this year when I finally have a fuckin' boyfriend.") (Now kiss)

[don't ask me how old they are/what grades they're in. i simply do not want to contemplate it. i'd call this a college au for my own sanity, but the very premise and interest in social hierarchies is just so inherently high school that it would fall apart lmfao]

[wolfythewitch]

I love your Ulysses animations so so much. I think I watched the "I know you're a goddess" and the "This is my goodbye" one on a loop probably thirty times each since yesterday. The facial expressions are so good.

Goddess:

The way his shoulders tilt the opposite way!! The hands/arms movements in general! This is my goodbye:

the mean smile when he says "this way you won't plague my life" when five seconds ago he called her his friend and now he says he chooses to cut her out (because she threatened to do it first) and he keeps looking so sad all throughout even when he's mad and defiant and you can just feel that they care about each other (or that he cares about her. God feelings are harder to grasp) and are mad with the other I just love it so much and I feel so sad? They feel like they're taking cheap shots at each other just to hurt but they're only able to (or only need to) because they just care so much and I am so there for getting my heart ripped out like that. So, yeah, I love that smile.

the shot where she's behind him and bends to talk to his ear!!!!!!!!! I just - it's so pretty! Not in a… I dunno. Pretty might not be the right word. Powerful? I just absolutely love it. It talks straight to my hindbrain.

also Athena's design. The not-quite-humanness of her face (her eyes! (how much room they have to narrow to slits when she's pissed!) her mouth! the line economy, contrasted by Ulysses' scruffiness). Her sheer height. The way she tilts her face arrrgh I can't I just love it so much.

the way they just spent three full minutes screaming at each other but he still looks gutted when she leaves.

(for context, this is the first I hear about the musical it's from, I just, like, read the Iliad and/or the Odyssey long enough ago that I forgot most of it and have passing familiarity with the overall plot and a few select scenes but not much more)

AHHH THANK YOU SGDJDHD

Wait actually I wanna talk about some frames agah

So with these frames specifically. On the first one, I wanted him to look like he's searching her expression for any shred of remorse or regret or anything to hint that maybe she cares. Then he turns away, bitter, when he finds none.

And ahhhh this frame

This was the frame that got me to make the animatic. I really wanted to draw this out so that's why I started the whole thing haha. I wanted two things out of it: 1. Power imbalance. Their relationship is always gonna pretty unbalanced in terms of authority and power alone. She's a Goddess and he's a man, it's clear who's got the upper hand. 2. I wanted it to look like she was speaking directly into his ear. To show it as a cold, calculated action, and also to have it be emblematic of when advisors or generals whisper strategies to the king. She might have once done the same action to guide him, but now she's doing it to tell him she's done.

And OUGH this frame

So you've probably already caught Telemachus, Penelope, Polites, and Astyanax in the frame. But also. Also. Since this appears in the line "you're just a man", it's like. It's not quite the ghosts of the dead, since Penelope and Telemachus are there. It's more an embodiment of his loss, his weaknesses, really. What he's already lost and what he still stands to lose. He's just a man because he cares and he loves and he yearns. It's his ruin as much as it's his reason to keep fighting, at least in her eyes.

[thatonesoso]

CRYPTID SIGHTINGS ART FOR THE NEW CHAPTER BC IM SCREAMING

I never thought of a fanfic making me cry for the first time BUT HERE WE ARE I GUESS😳

Did I absolutely sob after the chapter to my friends? Yes. Does @naffeclipse owe me a new heart? YES

I'M PUTTING THIS WITH MY RAMBLES UNDER THE READ MORE BC I KNOW IT CAME OUT YESTERDAY

THIS. This was the scene that absolutely shattered me. The heartbreak???? The betrayal??? The utter sadness I felt after that moment happened when the reader trapped out precious cryptid in the salt circle and he was BEGGING to be let out OUGH MY HEART 🖐️😫🖐️

Just us BELIEVING we had been lied to in each of those photos bc those were BEFORE we even knew our robot friend was a cryptid and thinking they hadn't killed innocent's WHICH THEY DIDN'T and leaving them in the motel???? I could just FEEL how heartbroken eclipse was when we we're leaving them and IT MADE ME CRYYYYYY

AND THAT ENDING. THE REGRET WHEN WE ACTUALLY CONFRONT VANESSA AND THE REAL CRYPTID. OH MY GOD. IT MADE ME SOB MOREEEE

AAAAAAAAA *melts into a puddle of emotions*

Anyway thanks for coming to my Ted talk I will now be crying in my closet until my impatient self gets the ending for my heart-

[scyphosunny]

vargastober day 11 was posted a couple days ago ! this is a huge one , so let's talk about it .

i wanted to write an entry for this one yesterday , but i wasn't home ! i was still able to write something , but i spent most of the day getting some sleep . SUNNY , SLEEPING MORE THAN 3 HOURS A DAY ? NEVER HEARD OF IT !

first of all . . . what happened with day 10's piece ? if im being honest , i can't really remember anymore . but i'll try .

ah , yes ! it was a busy day , overall . ( it really wasn't .

i spent some time with else on vc , had a nice time ! talked about a bunch of stuff . then , i tried to get something before 7PM . . . and while i did get a small sketch i wasn't really pleased with it . which is weird ! because i drew something similar a while ago . . .

THE COMPARISON IS FUCKING KILLING ME , WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE HE SWALLOWED A FUCKING BRICK IN THE FIRST ONE . i had a lot of trouble with face shapes , as you can probably notice . . .

did my usual things , watched evo with sister and had something to eat . then , it was thursday ! and usually my friends and i do stuff on thursdays . that day we played stardew valley !

my sister ended up puking and i panicked because i have emetophobia so after crying for an hour i was exhausted

i was planning on going to sleep early today since i was so tired . i tried to push myself a bit to get that piece done but i knew for a fact that i wouldn't be able to stay awake or focus even if i wanted . i also knew that if i tried maybe i could get something i liked ? sometimes the sketches for these don't look great , it's mostly about the colors or the ambience i add afterwards . ough then my friend asked if i could wake her up at 3AM because they all know im usually awake at that hour , and my stupid ass said yes even if i was falling asleep on the couch . i took a nap and i was talking to cris to try and keep myself awake . then i just went to sleep . and yeah , i knew the piece for yarn would be huge so i didn't even try to continue with the past one . another one to my " failed " folder ! this is the second time i chose a reference from the same artist and this is the second time i fail . MAYBE THAT'S BEEN THE PROBLEM THIS WHOLE TIME

i was setting ideas for the prompts , and the idea i had for this one was actually very different ! i was thinking , maybe scriabin using edgar like a puppet with strings of yarn ! that was a cool concept . maybe too cool . so i was like . . . what if someone already has this idea ?? what if we end up doing the same things ? something i want to avoid . i feel like , that's an image that also appears in other people's heads . so i was thinking . . . what else could i do . . . . . . and don't even know how , but i got the idea of that one scene scri described on chapter 20 !

this one ! it had been a scene i wanted to draw for a long time . honestly , i want to draw all the memories they described ough I JUST LOVE DRAWING FOR THIS UNIVERSE SO MUCH . it feeds my age regression delusions .

as soon as i was up , i tried not to waste too much time so i could work with this one . i really wanted to get it done that day ! since i knew i'd be out on saturday .

let's see . . . when i told brusk about this one i talked about how i had NO IDEA how i was going to achieve this and she shared this cool website with a bunch of 3D models of pretty rooms ! so i searched for one that looked similar to what i had in mind for their room .

started thinking . . . what do i think their room looks like ? at first i was thinking of it a bit like bluey's room , maybe . . . or dipper and mabel's room too . just two beds in the corners of the room . a bunk bed would also work for them , but let's just leave it like that .

this is a bit of what i had in mind ! maybe edgar's bed being the one on the lefft and scri's the one on the right . i tried to make it look messier for that reason lolz . two windows , some toys on the floor , a nice carpet in between the beds . . . i can't really imagine them having posters around , to be honest . maybe just some pictures . . . even if i added two beds ( for obvious reasons ) i have the hc that scri would mostly sleep on edgar's bed . a bit like what he does on the chapters after he has a body ! scri just goes , sits on the corner of the bed and even if edgar told him not to sleep there he still does and edgar doesn't do anything about it lolz . i can imagine scri walking to edgar's bed in the middle of the night to cuddle with edgar and that's that . so , in theory , edgar's bed should be the messy one and scri's would be made most of the time since he doesn't really sleep there . " his bed would be made " , is that how you even call it ? i don't know . . . then , they'd have fights and would sleep separately . ough , my little kids . </3

so yeah , that was the layout i had planned originally . i searched on the website , and these caught my eye !

( links for them are here and here

i was going to use that ffirst one as the reference but then i was like . that's a bad place to put a bed . ( ??? ) so i kept looking , even if i wanted to give those vibes . then , found that second one and my brain immediately went PERFECT

BUT .

i have a little problem . and my perception of time is absolutely broken . I CAN'T VISUALIZE HOW THINGS WERE BEFORE 2000'S i SWEAR . 2000's for me are like . how everything is rn . maybe like those nostalgia pics ppl like to share on social media . but , for everything before the 2000's it's like

WHICH IS A FUCKING PROBLEM BECAUSE I CAN'T VISUALIZE ANYTHING FOR THEM THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT BELONGS TO YEAR 1800

i knew for a fact that the story was set in the 90's but i also wasn't sure ? because there's this entry on violation where scriabin writes a date .

I WAS PRETTY CONFUSED , i wanted to go with that but i also knew that we couldn't really trust scri when it comes to anything . i asked zar because i wanted to have everything in place and she did say that scri was lying lolz . I JUST THINK OF THAT A LOT everytime i want them to do something i'm constantly thinking " did this thing exist back then " " is this how this thing looked when this happened " IT'S ANNOYING

i had to do some calculations . . . let's see , if the story is set roughly on the 90's , and edgar's like , 30 years old let's say ( i hc him being +30 , but zar usually says that he's in his late twenties so i'd go with 27 or 28 ) , so he was a kid on . 1970 , let's say . i literally googled " rooms in the 70's " but i was still leaning into something that looked more old that that . THEY ALSO SEEM TO LIVE IN THE FOREST OR SOMETHING IDK their house looks old in my head

i did end up changing the bed's design , though . make it a little more square-ish . if that makes sense . oh , also ! i added some stairs for scri , since he's so small and the bed looks tall ( it was actually even taller in the 3D render ) . he maybe moved the stairs to edgar's bed so he could just hop in when he wanted . smol boy .

so well . . . i had no idea if i could trust the process , to be honest . i had to move some stuff around , pushed the bed to the corner of the room , added the window in between the beds and uh idk i think that's all i had to move

so , i went from this

to this

to , well . this !

before even starting i watched a tutorial . i know for a fact that i'm not good at backgrounds . and i really REALLY didn't want to fuck this one up because if i got it right it would be SO GREAT . this is the tutorial i watched , by the way . . . it was super useful !

i started working on it at 1pm maybe , and as you can see by the hour on the screenshots ( i just checked and i took the screenshots at night lolz ah well ) it took me the whole day . ougghh . once i got to take a break and eat something , it was time to color stuff . i had fun choosing colors and textures for everything . . . really like that one wallpaper i chose ! and green always looks pretty on everything . also , added that one texture i always use for the skin and i really like how it makes everything look . looks less flat .

i didn't know what i wanted to do with those pictures . i just added one of edgar and his grandma maybe and a random rose . i wanted to make it a butterfly and looking back at it i should've gone with the butterfly but i couldn't get it to look right , bleh .

also , those strings holding the frame weren't supposed to be red but i accidentally drew them in the same layer as the yarn , so when i colored everything the strings also got colored and was too lazy to get them back to normal lolz .

coloring little scri was really fun ! i was planning to draw edgar crawling on the floor originally , as scri described . but i couldn't find a reference i liked and also , it was about time to draw scri in one of these ! it's been a while since he showed up . i just keep drawing edgar but i do find funny that everytime i tried to draw scri on these recently i just fail . DID I GET USED TO DRAW EDGAR AND NOW I CAN'T DRAW SCRI ANYMORE ??????? IDK but that can't be good .

uh , what else . . . coloring everything was a long process but picking colors was still fun . scri's sweater was actually blue at first but i didn't like how it looked so i changed it . . .

getting the yarn in place was actually harder than i expected . I DIDN'T REALLY ADD A BUNCH OF STUFF TO LOOP IT WITH , i wanted to make their room look messier at first but i got lazy . maybe add some clothes on the floor or shoes , i don't knnnnow . . . I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO ADD MORE DETAILS I'M SICK OF THIS DRAWING

i tried to make it just a whole thread of yarn going everywhere but at the end i did add some random pieces because it looked empty , bleh . even know , i feel like the yarn is not noticeable enough and that bugs me off because YARN IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE MAIN THING ON THE PIECE and you can't even see it .

( quick break to say that i'm listening to dusty dirty curse by kikuo and i keep feeling sad because i didn't know the song before going to the concert a month ago , I REMEMBER ENJOYING IT AND STUFF BUT I LISTENED TO IT LIVE AND DIDN'T KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THAT WOULD BE FOR ME IN THE FUTURE . god i only knew its name because zarla told me but god GGGODDD PLEASE TAKE ME BACKKKK PLEASE I CAN ENJOY IT MORE THAN BEFORE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I WAS SO HAPPY BACK THEN

my art is already HARD TO SEE I'D SAY but bleh

i was almost done coloring stuff . . . and sometimes for some reason my csp lags a bit when i try to change to certain brushes . well , i tried to change brushes , my csp freezes , the screen gets black for a second and i'm thinking " please don't crash , please don't crash " then i got a blue screen

fun ! ( fun fact , blue screens used to scare me so much . everything related with technology errors still scares me but last pc i had would crash over and over and over again so i kinda just got used to it lolz . now this one doesn't crash as much . last time it did was because i tried to play minecraft with shaders and it really didn't like that . oh well , where was i . .

i couldn't remember last time i saved and honestly it SCARED ME because i couldn't afford to lose progress back then . it was probably past 11PM at this point . . . i did get why my pc crashed , though . . . i had it turned on since 1PM . i did take breaks and stuff but i didn't turn it off completely ? so it was probably tired . at that point my time with csp opened was more than 11 hours . well . . .

i turn it on again . . . i check the file . . . didn't lose a lot ! i just colored the lamp on the drawer and the calendar lolz . i checked my file though , and i realized that csp actually restored some of the progress for me ! i didn't know it could do that . . . when it comes to the app crashing , i knew i could always trust sai2 . everytime the app crashed , i would open it again and it immediately would be like " hey you didn't save do you want your file back ooorrr . . . . . . . " and i never got that on csp until that ! really appreciated .

didn't know what to do for that calendar , exactly . so i just added that day's date . october 11th !

what else . . . had fun with the lightning and the colors . it was mostly me experimenting . i didn't know that to make for edgar's blanket . . . and well i just love the combination between blue and yellow . so why not throw some stars .

also , that bit of green is supossed to be scri's bed . added some random drawings to the paper sheets on the floor . . .

i searched for a while to find a nice texture to add to the floor . . . most of the ones i found weren't free . and when i finally found one i liked it took foverer to download . i was like PLEASE I JUST NEED TO DO THIS ONE THING

and i think that was all ! i'm really proud of this piece . it's my best piece currently . took around 13 hours with breaks . . . started at 1PM and finished it at 3AM maybe ? took two breaks to eat and shower. i'm used to take this long on pieces but god . it also has like , 300 layers . maybe 200 , i don't know . . . and makes me so much happier knowing that it ( mostly ( came out of my brain and not from a random pinterest reference !

i wish i had a speedpaint and i've been wanting to record speedpaints for these but I ALWAYS FORGET TO PRESS RECORD UGH

with and without filter ! i really , REALLY love this filter . it kinda gives 2016 tumblr vibes . or one of those filters on instagram no one actually uses . Río de Janeiro

as you can see , there's some stuff i cropped out . mostly because it didn't look good . . . those books on the shelf look kinda odd and the window is also throwing me off .

quick comparison ! last time i made a background this complicated was back in 2021 . . . even if it's been a long time since i really tried with one of these it's still way better . i've grown so much as an artist X3

i don't know if i'll work on today's piece , if i'm being honest . . . i think i'll try but i was out all day today and woke up at six . tired . . . was falling asleep in the bus back home until bug by kairiki bear started playing . my eyes just snapped wide open lolz . i really don't want to skip another prompt , ugh . i do enjoy drawing edgar bleeding to death , so that might encourage me just enough lolz . i was also out on saturday , as i already mentioned . didn't do a whole lot . . . i did write a small jake / edgar drabble i know for a fact i WON'T POST because i'm not good with writing !

pics i took today ! aren't i pretty ? also , i told you my shoes were cool !!!!!!!!!!!!

i'll have something to eat for dinner . . . then i'll see what i can do X3

also lol i've been having trouble to TURN MY MONITOR ON and i'm afraid that one of these days i'll try to work on a piece and it won't turn on . ugghh

[robertphilip]

can you PLEASE tell me about a cherished birthday memory from robert’s past? just any time pre-canon. AND a cherished birthday from his post-canon life!!!

ough, okay, so I think for birthdays B.G. (before Giselle)

the one that stands out the most would probably be when Morgan was just about to turn four. I think she drew/painted him this picture of a cat 😺

she said it was for his birthday, and he was like, “it’s not my birthday… omg wait it’s my birthday!?!?” and I think he was just really touched that she knew that because, as we talked about yesterday, I headcanon he didn’t celebrate his birthday anymore. so, the fact that she knew it was his day, and surprised him, made him feel a little overwhelmed with Love, ya know ? just a very special memory (I’d really love to write it out some day, because it’s a very cute little father-daughter moment)

as for birthdays A.G. (after Giselle), I think every year is great, of course, but I think the first one he spent with her is like. ugh.

I have some dialogue written out where Giselle is asking him what he wants to do for his birthday, what he gifts he wants, how he usually celebrates, etc. and she’s beyond shocked when he says he doesn’t celebrate it. Robert explains that he’s had several of them, and after twenty-one they stop being exciting. and because Morgan’s birthday is just a few days after his, his main focus is always on her, and her happiness. but then Giselle hits him with, “but what about your happiness :((( you deserve to be celebrated too��� :(”

hearing her say that kinda makes his heart skip a beat, and he gives in, and says maybe they could do something small, but you know Giselle, there’s no such thing as small 🤭

I plan on eventually writing the whole day out, but essentially, she surprises him in ways she deems “subtle” and “small”, though they’re absolutely not. she has a pigeon friend deliver flowers to his office, along with a card. and then, for lunch, she has one of their crow friends deliver his favorite food, again to his office, and his coworkers are very ???

when he gets home, the apartment is decorated with a big ol’ “Happy Birthday Robert !!” banner (made by Giselle and Morgan, of course), and Giselle makes his favorite dinner, and also bans him from the kitchen because there’s a ~surprise~ he’s not allowed to see (it’s cheesecake, his favorite 💖)

and they open gifts, which Giselle made him a fancy blue and black striped tie with his initials on the back, and she’s very proud because she’s never made one before !! and both she and Morgan made cards, too, and they worked together on a scarf, even though it’s still summer, because it will get cold eventually !!!!!

and Robert is just very overwhelmed with happiness, and love, and ugh !! like, with Nancy, this is not meant to bash her, so hopefully no one takes it that way, but I think with her, when Robert said he didn’t celebrate, she just accepted that and didn’t push or anything (she didn’t want to overstep, which is fine !!!!). but Robert needs to be pushed. not to the point of discomfort, of course, but he needs that little push !!! he forgot what being taken care of, and being celebrated, felt like after his parents died, and his ex left. and Morgan, of course, celebrated him in her own child-like way, but with Giselle it’s just. different !!!!!!!!

later, he happily falls asleep wrapped in Giselle’s arms, and listen... listen.... he’s in no way the Grinch, but I think his heart grew ten sizes that night 🥹🤧💙

[screampied]

i’ve been staring at my works and sighing, at least they layout looks cute, so if people forget the shitty writing and go “omg!!! header looks fire” i’ll be good.

anyways, scream or carrie theme, i vote for carrie, i feel like some people (me partly included) are going to do it. i kinda want to say what i’m going to do but i love surprises, it makes me go rarwfwfwg you weren’t expecting that, mf!

how did your tattoo go? i love tattoos so much, i have some and want to ink my whole self, i’m talking neck and asscheeks (jk, maybe). i do plan on whole back, neck and chest to when i have a stable job that won’t criticize me. part of me wants to become a tattoo artist for that. i mean what’s my boss going to do?

and yes, high i was while sending the first anons, now i’m just cigs. oh, funny story, yesterday my friend bought some for us and had it guarded at her bf’s house, but he found out they guy that sold it flirted with her so he flush it down the toilet?? that man would become an ex if he was my bf, ain’t no way. that’s why having a sexy gf isn’t for everyone, she got free weed and stuff and you hating it?

nut anon

that’s the spirit !!!! pook i feel the exact same, like i spend so much time trying to make the actual post pretty rather than focusing on the actual writing sometimes 🙂‍↕️ we love the dedication to detail ‘n aesthetics yuaawwwp 🫂🫂.

YYEAAAAAH i was thinking carrie too, or at least writing a fic based off it bc that would be so yum. im a slut for literally any horror movie UGHHHH im gonna be so annoying in october heh.

it went gooooood !!! i got it down my spine and ough that hurt like a bitch 🧎‍♀️ but it was so worth it <3 gonna have to sleep on my chest for at least a good week or two ahahah. ILOVE TATTOOS i have multiple but not that much, it’s funny because i fear needles but tattoos and piercings are my shit 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️. WOOOO DO IT, back tattoos are so hot i want a tramp stamp lowkey. omg if u wanna be a tattoo artist GO FOR IT 🤌

[franciskirkland-deleted]

*presses 1 for more info*

*cracks knuckles* apologies in advance for long post but u literally just invited me to infodump and i am nothing if not a scoundrel so you might regret this <3 also sorry for answering late i had rly awful cramps yesterday and was like. passing out ough </3

anyway. i may have created a monster i may have had a stroke of genius. or perhaps just a stroke. i've come up with a polyship that blends three of my favourite france ships (sorry arthur...)

it has no basis in canon and i don't know if it's historically sound or sensical whatsoever but i dont care. fran deserves the most rugged lads around to keep up with her insatiable needs.

turkey, scotland and america.

according to my HCs sadık is what i'd call hypermasculine. ripped as fuck, with copious, thick, dark body hair - and a bit cocky. alasdair as well, he's shy but buff and hairy and chubby - the bear trifecta. i guess alfred isn't a bear in the truest sense of the word, like in my opinion he's hella muscular but not very hairy at all, prob shaves or waxes. he could also be chubby as a treat, why not? it is always morally correct to make characters chubby. (also, alfred wore a bear waiter outfit in the april fools ep so. honorary bear :3)

i also think the ship works particularly well with transfemme françois(e) but it could absolutely work with bigender/genderfluid male/nb fran too! (for anyone who's new here i always HC france as amab and some kind of genderqueer or transfeminine) but i digress!

so i don't know all too much about poly relationship styles IRL but i see this as being a closed, committed/exclusive relationship where it's fran (goldilocks) and her 3 bears all living together. they're all completely devoted to her and she loves them each equally. healthy polyamory isn't about giving 3 people each 33.3% of your heart, it's about being able to love with your entire heart three times over.

sharing a barbie doll like that isn't easy but fran makes sure that whoever she's with at the moment, he knows she's all his. the three guys bond over prioritizing her happiness, and despite the complexity of their lifestyle they don't butt heads too much if at all.

i don't really see them as being involved with each other romantically, separate from fran. they're brother husbands. saying they're like roommates with the same gf isn't unaccurate but would be way oversimplifying it. they're involved in each other's lives to a point where they're inseparable. they've all chosen to settle down together so their bond is on a much closer level than mere friendship, but it's mostly platonic?? ngl they probably do engage in foreplay together and make out a lil bit. they'd do it if their queen wanted to watch.

additionally i'm not sure if they'd be friends organically, as in without fran there to unify them in the first place. their personalities are all very different and have different needs in their relationships with her.

alasdair has a lower social battery compared to the others and needs more time alone, including alone with the wifey, to just sit and cuddle and talk. alfred is high energy and needs a lot of attention. (read: walkies. he's a puppyboy) sadık is pretty independent, but likes being treated like a king, so fran puts a lot of effort into impresing him and performing acts of service for him.

and in some ways, they're very similar. all of them have possessive, territorial qualities (fran loves a possessive man) while alasdair and alfred are the jealous type. aly because he can be somewhat insecure and clingy, alfred bc he's a bit immature. i don't see sadık as truly getting jealous, he's too self-confident, but instrad he's very competitive and dominant so basically same difference.

alfred is undeniably a boytoy and yet so much more. he's optimistic and uplifting, he makes her feel young and playful and never lets her get bored. alasdair is who she goes to when emotionally vulnerable, the gentle one who provides moral support, guides and empowers her. sadik loves to challenge her on a physical and intellectual level, encouraging her talents while keeping her on her toes.

those are just examples, their roles don't stop there. they make her laugh, protect her, hold her, shower her with affection and gifts, always look out for her best interests, praise her not only for beauty but the generous, warm-hearted person she is. whatever she needs.

even though it might seem like they're her manservants, she has three husbands to take care of!! making dinners and packing lunches, keeping a big house clean, keeping them comfortable etc. it's hard work for her to balance and nurture all these relationships, individually and as a foursome, but if anyone can do it it's our girl.

between the three of them she's rewarded generously... her poor booty tho... ok i suppose i'll stop there but please feel free to send more asks about them or anything else literally whenever <3

[ooglywooglies]

tbh i do sometimes get a little [sad ant with a bindle] when people make forcefem/eggfem jokes that imply the reader is amab, like i dont want to say its discriminatory because its not serious its a dumb joke but on some level it does kinda feel like oh amab/cis man is the default audience forever

like i get why the tap bros are offended by forcefem jokes right, on some level they feel like detrans jokes from your perspective bc the author isnt considering that YOU might read and process her joke, and thats something youre used to feeling. and like i get why tap bros link that experience to being afab/girl childhood bc it mirrors childhood misogyny. like i was playing crash bandicoot with my husband yesterday and i was talking about how i always liked playing as coco bc it felt like i was being acknowledged even though i never really properly identified as a girl, bc crash was not meant for ME yknow. even though now i know im a guy im still basically never the intended audience of something, and i dont think i NEED that or anything thats straying a little too close to entitlement which i dont fuck with. because then you might conclude that bc afabs are overlooked/excluded that means amabs are not and thats not true because crash wasnt intended for trasnfems either.

like i get why youd essentially have a ptsd reaction to transfems making "everyone reading this become woman" joke, but the reason i say you HAVE to get a thicker skin is because you have to realize the only reason they make those jokes is because they are combating their own exclusion. and like i know im only 6 months in so im hardly less of a baby trans than anyone else so yknow saying stuff like "ive been there i know how it is, i still struggle with it sometimes" is stupid because that was like 3 months ago but ough yeah

its weird being where im at in terms of being trans because ive been like, aware of my transness (like, fully intentionally identified as something other than cis) for like 13 years but theres a MASSIVE material difference between what im doing now and what i was doing that entire time. i think fite-clubs post about micro-identities holding the tap club back from growing in this respect was on point because like i said a lot of these guys are closeted and cant imagine how the reality of gender feels outside of your own mind/discord friend group

thats why i said low self esteem hurts more than yourself, i genuinely think having low self esteem turns you into a bad person and you have a responsibility to build a strong will for yourself for the sake of others (and i mean also obviously it benefits you) and probably one of the first ways to do that is to start HRT and make friends with trans people who you dont necessarily share a gender or sex assignment with (and also all of this doesnt apply to everyone always forever im just a person with a scope capacity limited by my own perspective which may be hindered by lack of experience and nutrients as is the case for everyone)

[parksprout]

Sprout Journal 11/28/24

Wow, what an emotionally trying couple of days. This has been a weird couple of days for me, so this post will probably be pretty heavily skewed in the venting direction after I run down what my day was like yesterday! Also oh my gosh I hope I'm more consistent about these soon, I'm STRUGGLING with using my time wisely since I got my computer. I haven't had a chance to just fuck around and do dumb stuff for a while, so I've been basking in the opportunity to play video games and watch stuff :3 yesterday I didn't have work or school for obvious reasons, it was thanksgiving!

I gotta clarify that I feel nothing but moral reprehension towards the typical concept of thanksgiving, but I do believe that even though the actual holiday is kinda wack that we should have an autumn harvest holiday regardless so... I try to think of it less as the pilgrims hell yea holiday and more like a medieval peasant celebrating another good harvest aksjdhfaksjdf chat does that even make sense?

Anyways! Since I already had my "thanksgiving" proper celebration with my family, yesterday I was invited over to my friend Jordan's house for thanksgiving instead! It's nice that I have a couple of friends I'm close enough with that they invite me to family events, it makes me feel a lot less lonely than I might otherwise. Honestly I wish that it was easier for me to spend time with my friends lately! I really need their support during this time, but everyone (including me) is always too busy. ANYWAYS that's not the point!! It was just very very very good to see my friend. Our dinner was simple and our hangout was super casual as well :3 we had turkey, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, sweet potatoes, rolls, and some pumpkin cheese cake afterwards!!! I'm glad that eating shitty is outta the way now ough I gotta get back in the gym tomorrow after work and burn off all this high calorie food I've had lately. I'm proud of the self control I have now though, I used to not really care about portion sizes but I've discovered that I can eat much less and still be plenty full at the end of the night. I didn't even realize I was overeating for a long time. ANYWAYS THATS NOT THE POINT!! The food was all very good. Here we go, another tierlist

The pumpkin pie is in the place of the pumpkin cheesecake!

Anyways besides dinner it was a really chill evening. It was a little boring honestly, but it was nice to get out of the house and talk about random stuff! Our conversations were kinda simple. We talked a lot about family history and I helped my friend better understand what his ancestry means. We talked a lot about history and immigration during that conversation.

Another thing was that The Bnuuy, my former partner and the person I'm actively trying to convince that we should date again, asked me to make sure I said hi to him. It's always a lil heartbreaking saying hi to my friends for them, but I still love doing it. I'm really happy that... even despite the fact that we aren't still dating, they still wanna say hi to my friends and family. Obviously everyone knows that I'm still talking to the Bnuuy - they all know that we're not together and that I'm actively trying to show them that I would be worth a second chance, but regardless of how much they know I'm always afraid that... they'll think I'm being foolhardy for not just giving up and moving on. Anyways, the bnuuy asked me to say hi to Jordan so I did. I was kinda expecting a bad reaction from Jordan asdfasdf he can be a bit like an older brother at times, brutal honesty and all. But... instead he was actually incredibly sweet about this. He said hi back to them and also said some really bitter sweet stuff ugh. He told me that... he knows I might be getting hurt right now in this situation, which I am, but that he also thinks that I'm doing what's right for me. He can tell that I'm very much in love with this person in a genuine way, that I want to give them the best and that I'm allowing the desire to fix things with them to motivate me to become the best version of myself he's seen. He also told me that the idea of me ending up with my partner again makes him somewhat sad because he knows I'd move away, but I reminded him that I was planning to leave eventually no matter what and that it'd just be a new chapter in life not an ending to old ones. I really appreciate my friends lately.. they've all been so supportive of me. A lot of my friends were here for my last breakup too, and all of them have said that... this one is nothing like the last one. This time they can all tell I'm actually in love and wanting to try, whereas last time I wasn't in love I just... didn't want to be alone. I think I'm okay being alone for now partner wise, I just... know what I want in the end.

Not tonight but probably tomorrow I think I'm going to write a big post about what all is on my mind regarding the bnuuy lately. We had a really big talk that... didn't end how I wanted but ended pretty positively? I kinda got rejected but... they also more solidly said that we've got a chance than they have at any other point. We're straight up in the "we'll see" phase which... feels better than the "I have no idea what's going on" phase we were just in for the past month. Now I know what's going on, I know that they think I'd be a good partner they just... have some pretty solid reasons for not wanting to try right now. I hope that they'll wanna try again sooner than later, but I'm okay waiting for them still. I'll tell y'all more about it properly tomorrow I think <33 I love you Tumbie, thanks for listening as always! Have a good night! Bye!!!!! <3<3

[hiemihymni]

tagged by @transbutchblues!

last book i read : the last one i finished must have been The Discovery of Slowness by Sten Nadolny. i really value the message because i often feel pressured to learn and act more quickly than at my natural pace :/

a book i recommend : ough. um. too many and none at all come to mind, i'll pass on that. just read what speaks to you!

a book i couldn’t put down : Turtle Diary by Russell Hoban! I've never heard anyone talk about it. It takes two adults on a small crazy adventure to free turtles and they therefore break out of the rut of their everyday life for a while (does not cure depression tm but it gave me hope when i was going through it).

a book i’ve read twice : many, especially classics i picked up too early in life and didn't understand at all the first time around. I'll say War and Peace for the fun of it.

a book on my tbr : Thornton Wilder's The Ides of March, i'm hoping to read it while in Greece!

a book i’ve put down : I agree with @transbutchblues, it's mostly nonfiction that i put down. The last one that happened to was Werner Goez's "Gestalten des Hochmittelalters. Personengeschichtliche Essays im allgemeinhistorischen Kontext" (essays on singular people living during the high middle ages) - even though it was written incredibly well i could not bring myself to read more. nonfiction on history is super confusing and irritating for me. i have huge gaps in my knowledge of basic historical facts - i cannot imagine what life was like for the people because every form of documentation is incomplete, and because of that i get frustrated and am unable to remember these dates and facts. i'm keeping the book nonetheless because the hope that someday i will give it a second try is still there

a book on my wishlist : Wrath Goddess Sing by Maya Deane, i actually bought it once but the delivery got cancelled and refunded because it was out of stock :(

a favourite book from childhood : um i remember very little.. there was a series on a mermaid i really adored. (The series is called Pimpinella Meerprinzessin by Usch Luhn)

a book you would give to a friend : I have literally given Memoirs of Hadrian by Marguerite Yourcenar to a friend. the book radiates calmness.

a book of poetry/lyrics you own : i'm currently reading Heinrich Heine for the first time in my life, and for the first time enjoying german poetry! (prior i've only ever clicked with latin poetry)

a non-fiction book you own : probably the first nonfiction book i ever read was Mathijs Deen's Down Old Roads. It started a fire in me which i cannot explain but i am incredibly grateful for it.

currently reading : slowly picking my way through too many at once: The Persian Boy, two books on medieval german literature, an essay collection on August von Platen, Dyskolos, catull (especially c.63 right now and essays on that), oop

planning on reading next : idrk, i am in a bit of a rut but uni ended yesterday so i'll hopefully can get back into reading more and actually finish books?

tagging anyone who wants to!

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

Sorry to be sending a whole second ask but i love ask games and usually miss them entirely. What about 14 for cylenne and emmet, and also cylenne and kamado?

nono don't apologize!! i'm having a lot of fun whwkjwh (character dynamics ask game)

14. for two characters that met very recently, how would their dynamic be different (if at all) if they had known each other for much longer? for characters that are childhood/longtime acquaintances, how would it be different if they met for the first time today?

ough. ok. the idea of cyllene and emmet being longtime friends/acquaintances is like. dangerously good. you sent this right before i was going to bed and i DID spend all night thinking about it. ultimately i think the initial impressions i talked about in pla would still hold but it would be a hell of a lot deeper. emmet is one of the vanishingly rare people that cyllene TRUSTS. not just in the sense of him having good intentions, but also that she knows he doesn't make rash decisions but can still be counted on to actually act, not just sit on his hands. conversely emmet is not a person who pays a whole lot of attention to people's like, surface level words or anything like that, so cyllene's whole "we can't let people know we HAVE FEELINGS" shtick just bounces right off him. wdym you don't care. here look at this carefully curated list of actions i have been silently tallying in my head the whole time.

cyllene and kamado otoh... hmmmmm this is an interesting question bc these two are in sort of an awkward spot, timewise, where idk if i would call them longtime acquaintances but they also definitely didn't meet Yesterday.

if they had known each other for longer tho... cyllene might be more aware of some of kamado's habits that catch her off-guard in canon, like his tendency to overreact to certain perceived threats, & would probably be less likely to defer to him as an authority. this gets into nebulous backstory territory but in this case would they have known each other since before anything happened in kamado's village? that's really interesting to me, to think that she would have been there to notice that, although admittedly i haven't thought a whole ton abt kamado pre-galaxy team specifically. i feel like there's also potential here for a scenario where they knew each other once for a while, ages ago, and then re-met later in life for the galaxy team's founding. which could be interesting.

[geospark]

I have a new friend and she's so OUGH OH MY HEATHENS. her laugh is so silly and her voice just, is literally adorable. We talked for hours yesterday.