#was she lonely being the only kid in the lineage

[itstimeforstarwars]

I love that Dooku raised Rael and Qui-Gon back to back and then after Qui-Gon became a knight Dooku had to take like a 30 year break before deciding to raise Komari.

[anemonelovesfiction]

I’ve Neglected you Far Too Long

Ao’nung x Hybrid Fem! Reader

No mentions of Y/n though but its implied. Obviously they’re adults- I quite literally mention Ao’nung has tattoo’s. And obviously theres some smut.

Kind of like an arranged marriage scenario. Any words in English are stricken through. If they’re in italics its just emphasis on that word. Starts off with a bit of background, smut is near the end lol, but its a lot of it.

Word count: 9.2K because I got carried away.

I would say it started with my birth. I was granted the luck of being born Kiri’s twin, with a few minor setbacks, although to Neytiri they were enough to refuse taking me in as her own. I was born with the size and appearance of a human- but I was a halfbreed. My features were human but I was the one born with fangs and I had a kuru as well but it was relative to my size, it was still encased in a big braid and reached past my butt, almost mid thigh, yet still had the natives squinting to see it.

If it wasn’t for Jake pointing out that I had a queue and didn’t need an exomask to breathe, one of the Metkayina warriors would have thrown their spear, killing me. I was captured alongside Spider, when they put me in the machine they’d put Spider in, it awakened some telekinetic abilities I didn’t know I had.

But they’re tied to my emotions and I could only ever really use them if I felt strongly about something. Which is why I was able to help kill most of the humans that had hunted the tulkun, I had enough of their interrogations and abuse.

After losing Neteyam, Ronal and Tonowari welcomed the Sully’s into the Metkayina, and were willing to accommodate for Spider only if I were to marry their son. Their reason being that my telekinetic abilities - which seemed to surpass Kiri’s in their eyes- could protect their clan and son if anything like that happened again.

Ronal disliked that I was half human, she didn’t really want me to marry her son with my outward appearance- like one of the tawtute- sky people- but if I could be used to protect her dear son, thats all that mattered to her, keeping her lineage going.

“We could unite the reef clans and forest people.”

Were Neytiri’s words after Ronal had brought up her reasoning. Tonowari had stayed silent with his hands on his knee’s. It was Ronal’s idea for them to kneel so I wouldn’t feel intimidated by their height, but I’m shorter than most humans, so they were still a good head taller than me, maybe two.

“Of course this is your choice, kid.” Jake stated carefully, his hand movements mimicking that of a calm ultimatum, and this was anything but.

I nodded once, then walked out of the tent and sat by the beach. I couldn’t think of anyone other than Spider. If he were to go back to the Omaticaya, he’s be lonely. His entire life revolved around the Sully’s and I couldn’t risk him being kicked out, and I refused to spend any more time away from my sister.

I’d gotten an earful from Neytiri that day about being disrespectful to the clan leaders for leaving the way I did. I had no idea how to respond and she despised me- had I looked like Kiri I’m sure the story would be different, but I’m not like her, my genetics decided to mute the blue and because of that, I’d forever be treated as a human by Neytiri- even if I could breathe the same air as her, even if I can make tsaheylu.

And it has lead me to being bathed in scents that Ao’nung found pleasing. Neytiri and Jake were allowed to voice their opinion on the matter and Jake had mentioned that this smelled of raspberries back on earth.

As tradition, the mother of the groom and any female sibling, or honorary females washed the bride in the scents and got her ready for her soon-to-be husband. And all of the males near and dear to my heart would do the same to the groom. In this case I had told them not to do anything to change his appearance and to leave him as is. Even if he’d made up with Lo’ak, I could never forget the face he made after finding out he was betrothed to me. The shock in his face said it all, he didn’t want me, and I didn’t want him either but at least I was cordial about it.

I had no idea how big of a celebration this would be. Everyone from the clan walked up and wished blessings upon us, a fruitful- and fertile- marriage. I’m glad I stuck around with Spider and learned Na’Vi while we were kids as a lot of the well wishes were very long and I’d kick myself in the face if I had to childishly reply with broken Na’Vi.

Nothing happened that night.

Don’t get me wrong I’m excited and happy we didn’t do what I was told married couples do by Neytiri. She went into greater detail than Norm did about mating as a Na’Vi and how the tsaheylu was a crucial part of becoming connected to ones mate. Most nights I was ignored and we’d go to sleep on separate mats. I’d need to start Tsahik training but I’d need to learn the things Tsireya had learned when she was younger and work my way up in rank. Because of this, Lo’ak was in the lead of becoming Olo’eyktan considering he’s earned their trust and Tsireya knew more about healing.

_________

“The tattoo’s have different meanings and what one curve could mean for someone, it could be translated differently in another clan members markings.” Tsireya mentions while showing me two nearly identical tattoo’s.

“These are almost identical.” I stated blankly and giggled, placing her hand over her mouth to hide her laughter.

“Yes but you noticed the difference between the two, you said almost. Explain what you see.” She asks.

“This one has what appears to be a smoother execution. This one seems bold, like you used a darker ink? It has jagged edges too.”

“The first one was for a warrior who had just had his inknimaya. Everything went well for him and the skimwing he had bonded with. For the second, not so much, he experienced much pain and eventually managed to execute it perfectly.”

“The second tattoo is slightly bigger, could this indicate multiple tries to his inknimaya?”

“You are a quick learner.” Tsireya smiles at me and I smile back. It wasn’t hard to be genuine around her and she made it hard to hate her. She’s seen me naked more times than my own husband, and she’d only seen me before I got married to him.

By the end of the lesson she struggles to get on her feet from kneeling in front of me and I feel terrible.

“You don’t always have to kneel for us to be the same height, Tsireya. If you wanted to stand I wouldn’t mind.” This isn’t the first time I tell her.

“I need to be flexible.” She states happily.

“For who, Lo’ak?” I ask and start laughing at her embarrassed face.

“I’m sorry, Rey, but these jokes just come naturally to me, I can’t stop them when my tongue is faster than my mind.” I giggle as she huffs and turns her head.

“I’ll make the same jokes when you are with child.”

“No you won’t.” Partly because I’ve yet to consummate my marriage. “I don’t even know if we could have kids considering I’m a half-breed that looks human.” I stated aloud.

“Toruk Macto is a half breed.” She states as if it were obvious.

“Yes, but he has the appearance of a native. It’s easier for him to blend in. Lo’ak is also a half breed and he too can hide with the rest of the Na’Vi. I’m-“ I stop myself before saying anything too harsh, or she’d scold me. “-different.”

“The kind of different my brother needs in his life. Keep trying for children and I will pray that the great mother blesses you!” She says over enthused.

“Sure.” I stated simply, smiling at her. We said our goodbyes and I headed off toward his marui pod.

_________

“Where have you been?”

“With your sister. Learning.” I stated, I’ve grown to know Ao’nung likes short answers and to never bother him when he was entranced with something- whether it was learning a new trick on a skimwing or sparring. I placed my medical bag down- Kiri made this one for me as a present and I never went anywhere without it.

I can feel his eyes on me while I search in a big box for some herbs to refill my bag. The bag hangs over my chest and does a good job of hiding my stomach- not that its big, I hide it from the sun since I’m often exposed. I’d learned to wear traditional clothes and the loincloths were made in children's size due to my stature. The top was something Kiri had to teach me to make- it resembles a human sports bra but matching my loincloth.

My loincloth was traditional in every sense except it didn’t have a hole for a tail, but it still adjusted and tied off on the side, just like everyone else's.

“Are you hurt?” I ask him once I refill my bag and look up to face him. I’d known of his tattoo’d arms but the one on his face was new. It made his eyes pop and he looked handsome- but that didn’t matter.

“What?” He asks as of he hadn’t heard me before.

“Are you hurt. Do you need something from me?” I asked him and he understands what I mean.

“No.” He answers and turns his face toward the side to look at the floor of his- our, because it technically is ours- marui.

“Then I will head out and assist.” I answered not really caring to give him a chance to respond- let alone process- what I said. But he was faster than I was and his hand reached around my bicep and that stopped me.

He was never one to touch me. Not when it came to helping me learn the way of his village, not now, and not even on our wedding night. I press my teeth on my tongue to prevent myself from saying something smart and I turn to face him. I refuse to talk as I’d always found some way to offend him with whatever I said so I waited for him to speak.

“Do you resent me?” He asks simply and this question is a slap to my face. My face only forms in confusion as my eyebrows knit together and my eyes squint slightly.

“I don’t-“ I began but stopped myself from speaking as he lets go of my bicep. I look over at his hand and back at him feeling more confusion than ever.

“I see.” He answers plainly and I furrow my brows some more before raising one and looking at him.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You don’t have to.” He answers simply and I feel like I’d immediately done something wrong again. “Your face said everything your words could not.”

“But-“

“You should go out and assist my sister. Let her know I held you back if she asks why you are late.” He states before walking past me and heading out the opening of the marui with his spear.

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding once the curtain fell shut again. Of course I resented him, he was rude, underestimated me in everything, and never made an effort to get to know me. But I hadn’t said any of that to his face and I was in control of my emotions and knew I didn’t make a face of disgust- but why did he ask the question in the first place?

_________

“Did you talk to her?” Spider asks as soon as Ao’nung joins the hunting party. Due to his inability to bond with the animals he often rode with Lo’ak.

“Yes.” Ao’nung answered.

“Is she coming to the party tonight?” Lo’ak asks after lightly nudging between Spider’s hips to quiet the grown man in front of him, he sure was nosey today.

“I did not ask.” Ao’nung answers and Spider grumbles.

“The whole point was to-“ Spider stops himself when Lo’ak’s Ilu immediately surges forward. And the hunt began.

_________

“Theres a lot of people gathering for something outside. Was there something planned for today? Did I have to do something?” I asked nervously once Ao’nung had come into the marui. He must have showered at some point because he didn’t smell like sea air like he usually does after a hunting trip.

“The celebration of our union.” Is all he says while placing his spear on the wall along with his others.

“But we-“

“It’s what you call an Annie-server.” He states in his best english and given the severity of my nerves I couldn’t find the way he fudged up the words funny at this time.

“It hasn’t been a year yet-“ I stop myself as he walks over to pick the accessories he never touches, taking the ones he has on and replacing them with those.

“Has it?” I ask myself quietly.

“It has.” He answers and stops in front of me. One hand on my shoulder but its immediately removed when I look at it.

“Please put these on.” He hands me a matching pair, the one from our wedding- union as they call it. It’s supposed to show that we are harmonious. I try to tie the bands on my anklet together but my fingers keep fumbling and I let out a frustrated sigh.

“Let me help you.” He sits in front of me and offers his hand to take my leg.

“No-“ He takes my leg after letting out a small hiss of his own and sets it on top of his thigh where he leans over and carefully ties the bands together. His hands on my ankle sends a shiver up my spine.

“It’s only done the first year. They will ask invasive questions. I’m glad my sister convinced you to use the soap. Come.” He stands quickly and heads over to the entrance of the marui.

He holds the flap of the curtain open for me to walk through. I was going to comment on why his hair was undone but was met with a bunch of cheers and a celebratory song. I’m awestruck as the clan starts parting and a walkway is created for me. I follow them and end up near the front.

“We have come to celebrate the night this union was made one year ago.” Ronal smiles big at the clan as she announces her words.

“It is time to take on the tradition of the couples.” Tonowari joins in and the crowd basically goes wild. I stand with a fake smile plastered on my face.

“Ao’nung. Face your bride.” Tonowari speaks once more and he steps up in front of me before kneeling respectfully taking my hand and kissing it, making a majority of the girls awe at his gesture, but I knew better, it was a show. I let go of his hand quickly and awaited further instruction.

“This is our clans best kept secret. You will braid his hair to your liking as a symbol of life's twists and turns bringing you together. And he is to maintain the hairstyle or one similar for the rest of his life as his devotion to you.” Ronal states.

My eyes widened and I’m fucked. I can braid for sure, all thanks to Tuk, Kiri, and Neteyam consistently asking me to braid their hair often, but I didn’t know about this was a requirement. If Lo’ak and Tsireya were to have wedded before myself and Ao’nung I would have expected this. But they married about four weeks after we did. And Ao’nung doesn’t let anyone touch his hair. My eyes wandered over to find his staring back at me and I looked down releasing quiet but heavy exhale.

“But before we start, you are to drink this.” Ronal hands me a cup thats decently sized, still huge in comparison to me but good enough to grab.

“This is made up of many many plants and fruits from our clan and has been prayed over with many blessings poured into it from the beginning of the process.” Ronal informs me.

“This drink is to be shared between the two of you. You will speak many blessings in it yourself- in a hushed voice, take a drink and you will hand it off to your mate to receive the blessings.” Ronal smiles and hands the cup over to me.

I’m nervous as shit and am worried I might say the wrong thing but am glad it doesn’t have to be shared aloud. And I take a look into the cup and see the deep red liquid inside and sigh.

“Treat me like the mate I ought to be treated and my face won’t show resentment again.” I whispered into it and took a big chug- considering there was a lot of liquid in there.

I walk over toward Ao’nung and hand him the cup I’d just drank from and he drinks the rest. The cheers coming from the crowd make my tummy tingle and I start feeling weird. I should probably ask Tsireya what kinds of things were included in there to see if its compatible with my human half.

“You may begin.” Tonowari gently nods his head once at me and I nod.

“Could-“ I stop myself and Ao’nungs eyes are burning in mine and nervously chuckle, averting my eyes once more.

“Could you please turn so I can reach your head, Yawne?” I blush harshly at that and the positive whispers in the crowd are making me feel uncomfortable, but I always had to put on a show for them. Ao’nung nods once and does as I ask and I put myself to work.

His tail wraps loosely on my calf and it feels warm. I’m sure this is all for the sake of appearance but it makes it feel like it’s a smidge hard to breathe. I won’t lie, after a long day of chores, or whatever strenuous activity Ao’nung has done his hair looks the best right before he showers. Pieces of it have come out of the braids and are clinging to his face by his sweat- no, stop it.

I’d worked diligently and managed to create the hairstyle he always wears. Except some of the braids on the sides twist to form X’s.

“You barely changed it.” Ao’nung states after feeling around and turning to face me.

“This is how you look best, to me.” I admit.

“Especially when some of these,“ I gently yank out the loose pieces I’d failed to tuck in properly. “Slip out. Like after you finish working.” I find myself gingerly placing my hand on his cheek, I look down at his lips and my eyes slightly widen at my own actions before I remove my hand slowly, making my movements not show how we truly are with one another, and taking a step back.

Several one of the younger girls had held on to the boys courting them and mentioned how they wanted a love like ours and I fought the urge to roll my eyes. If only they knew what our Love really was.

“The last thing for you to do is to decide which one of these your mate has prepared. This will also test to see how well you notice our signature hunting mark.” Tsireya steps back and reveals three fish total that had been cooked. If he managed to hunt with Lo’ak and Spider I’d be more willing to pick out Spiders pathetic excuse of a hunt since he did things the human way. Then I’d have to compare it to Lo’ak’s which might resemble both clans hunting and preparing skills into one and choose the one that least resembled the two. But if they decided to choose at random from other clansmen, I’m screwed.

It suddenly felt like my body temperature had risen and I could feel the slight stickiness that forms on my skin before I start sweating and I feel slightly uncomfortable. I take a look at the three and can tell which one Spider made and fight the urge to giggle. He has talent, but sometimes massacres his huntings, whether he did this on purpose or not I’m thankful to Eywa.

The next two are hard to tell as they’re on similar plates and dished the same. So I focus in depth on the one in the middle and notice it’s one of Lo’ak’s favorite fish to hunt and I want to look at the boy and thank him, but instead look up to Tsireya and smile.

“The one on the left.” I point to it and she smiles back.

“How do you know?” Tsireya asks.

“The cutting pattern is one he chooses often and he knows this is my favorite fish.” I hold a hand on my chest for sentimental value.

The party continued without a hitch and I started feeling hotter by the second before excusing myself while everyone was either drunk, picking at the food table, dancing, or even singing I managed to slide my feet in the water and felt myself cool down significantly.

“Enjoying your anniversary?” Lo’ak asks me as he comes up behind me.

“Sure. Just glad its you and not any nosey person asking me invasive questions. I had an elder ask me if he’s good in bed. I had to lie to someone about my non-existent sex life.”

Lo’ak lets out a laugh and places his arm around me. For being more human appearing than him he always treated me as an equal. I appreciate him for doing that, even if I wasn’t technically adopted alongside Kiri, he always called me his sister.

“What was in that drink?” I asked him and he shrugs.

“I thought you’d know, but I think Tsireya said something about it containing an aphrodisiac?” Lo’ak states and I laugh.

“Come on bro,”

“I’m deadass.”

“Even if it did, nothings coming out of it. He hates my guts.” I sigh and bring my knees to my chest.

“He can’t possibly hate you.”

“Yes he does! Every morning I wake up he’s not there. Every time before bedtime I set out his mat since he comes home after I’ve passed out- and I know this because I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and see him on the opposite side of the room dead asleep.”

“Okay but what about that time you said he cuddled you.”

“That doesn’t count.”

“Why not?” He asks.

_________

I lied shivering getting up frequently due to the cold air and having to pee. Ao’nung had come in quite late and I’d woken up for the upteenth time tired as hell and unable to warm myself up.

“Why do you keep getting up. Either stay up or stay asleep.” Ao’nung complains and turns around harshly. I didn’t bother responding as I figured sleep was more important than being petty.

But when I’d finally get comfortable and dozed off, I’d wake up with my teeth chattering and my body shaking, trying to keep warm.

“Aren’t you a half-breed? Why are you still making sounds!” He asks angrily.

“Because I’m still half human! I can withstand colder temperatures than humans can but not by much. Trust me when I tell you I’d much rather be held in captivity and tortured than to be here with you. At least they gave me blankets.” I grumble and get up to go pee once more.

I’d decided to take a long time returning but even when I’d figured he was asleep, as soon as I stepped inside he turned to face me, it looked like he might have been pacing- but I couldn’t be too sure. I’m just glad I went pee before coming back in.

“We do not have blankets right now, but we are often very warm. Maybe if I-“ He gulps. “If I held you, you would not be making noises with your teeth.” He explains.

_________

“Did you take him up on his offer?” Lo’ak asks and I push him.

“I had to. And the next day I asked your mom how the hell I could hand knit a blanket and she made a huge one, thinking it was for us to share. But I didn’t have to bother him on cooler nights again.

“But he did care for you, he came up with a solution.”

“A solution so he could get sleep and my teeth would stop chattering.” I roll my eyes.

“Okay but your favorite fish for today, explain that.” Lo’ak crosses his arms.

“I could easily tell Spider’s mutilation from yours.” I roll my eyes. “And He asked me two days ago what my favorite fish was. I know he hates when I take to long to explain myself- probably because he hates the sound of my voice, so I told him in one simple answer.”

“Did he tell you that?” Lo’ak asks.

_________

“I think I like the tulip thorn because of the way it glows at night. But the stem is also pretty with the way it wraps around and creates a mini shelter. Tuk and I used to take some leaves and tie them down to make a fort and-“

“It was a simple question. I don’t need a story attached to every answer you give me.” He stated harshly.

“Oh,” I state and do a little reflection and cringe at the many times I’d gone off on tangents while talking to him. Or the times when he’d straight up turned and walked out and I’d been left talking to myself for Eywa knows how long.

_________

“You could say that.” I answered back shortly as I didn’t want to bore yet another Na’Vi with my stories.

“Thats all you have to say?” He asks.

“I can tell you just about every negative encounter I had with him and they start from the moment I met him and lead up to this morning. I try to stay out of his way as much as possible. Its all he wants anyway.” I shrug.

“What if he didn’t?” He asks and I look at him wondering what joke he had in mind this time. Tears start to fill my eyes and threaten to fall.

“I don’t think I need a joke about my marriage, Lo’ak.” My voice wavers no matter how strong I wanted to sound.

“Hey, Hey, Hey-“ He’s quick to kneel in front of me and places his hands on my shoulders.

“I wish I could have a love story like you and Reya, or even your parents.”

“I wasn’t making a joke, I swear.”

“I can’t blame you. I’ll never know what its like to be loved.” The tears slide down my cheeks with ease. “I’m stuck with a mate who hates my guts and wishes I was a native with three fingers and three toes instead of this shit-“ I hold out my hands and wiggle my fingers.

_________

“I’m married to you for political appearance. Thats it. And the sooner you can accept that I’d much rather be with my own kind than a four-fingered-freak, the better it will be for you.”

“Don’t think I’m in love with you. You’re an asshole, a jerk, and a bully. Never in my life would I willingly choose someone like you.”

“Then don’t ask me about the status of our marriage anymore. You’re the least attractive thing I could ever lay my eyes on. I won’t ever love you, get that through your thick skull. The sooner the better.”

“You don’t even want to attempt a friendship with me?” I asked taken aback by his outburst.

“With you?” He asks and laughs bitterly. “I want nothing to do with you.” He gets in my face and pushes my chest with two of his fingers to make a point. But I’m not sure how strong he thought I was because he pushes me down. I fall flat on my ass and yelp. Something flashes in his eyes real quick.

“I’m so-“

“Don’t. I receive your message loud and clear.” I swat his hand away and I stand, making sure to walk away as fast as I can.

_________

“That can’t be true,” Lo’ak shakes his head after grabbing my hands with his.

“He might be hard headed but he will come to love you the way I love Tsireya, or how sickeningly my dad loves my mom, or how Spider loves Kiri.”

I hear someone clear their throat from behind myself and I pull my hands from Lo’ak’s and quickly wipe my tears off my face.

“I would like to speak to my mate. Alone.” My shoulders stiffen at his voice and my lower lip trembles.

“It’s okay Lo’ak. Go enjoy the party. I’m sure we’ll head back soon.” I stated as emotionless as possible and he looks between Ao’nung and myself before nodding toward me and walking back. I didn’t look back since I knew him and could hear the clap of his hand on Ao’nungs shoulder. I wish Neteyam were here to witness the amazing man and husband Lo’ak turned out to be for Tsireya.

“May I join you?”

“You requested to speak with me alone.” I stand as I say that.

“Please. Speak.” I state as I try rushing this along. I could feel myself getting warmer, although I’m sure its from the anger I was feeling at him at the moment.

“I-“ He starts speaking and stops. He looks down at the floor and kneels down, the most sincere apology in this clan. “I need to apologize for how I have treated you.”

I can’t help but let out a chuckle at the scenario in front of me and shake my head in disappointment. He furrows the skin where his eyebrows would be if he were human and studies my face.

“What is wrong?” He asks and I feel like a mad woman.

“You expect me to believe you mean that?” I ask him and he looks confused. He makes eye contact.

“You don’t care about me or my feelings, Ao’nung. You only care about your appearance. Tell me that isn’t true.”

“I’m sorry for what I’ve done to you and how I have acted.” He states again and I feel the air being knocked out of my lungs as I let an audible quick exhale and couldn’t breathe in as he held eye contact.

“I have been nothing but ignorant to your needs and I want that to end. I want to get to know you. I want to learn about you.”

“I don’t know what kind of fun party juices you’ve been drinking but I’m not entertaining this. I’ll go talk to your mom and explain we haven’t bonded and you’ll be out of this union.” I start heading back toward the party.

“Please don’t,” He asks under his breath but I heard it, and stupidly turned around.

“This is what you wanted. I’m helping you. Shouldn’t you be thanking me?” I scoff. “The girl you want is probably going to be over the moon when she hears you’re single and untouched.” I stated.

“I want you.” He states loudly. Still in his kneeling position.

“What?” I asked him and feel like the world has shifted. The party music had disappeared and it felt like we were the only ones on the beach. He stands and starts walking but picks me up and continues walking.

“I said I want you.” He looks directly in my eyes and holds my stare as he says that, then turns his head back to focus on where he’s going.

“Yeah I heard you the first time.” I uttered and I could feel something snap in my body. The warmth I felt earlier was in my lower belly and I felt the small zing of- no.

“Then why ask?”

“Because theres no way you- woah.” I stated as I looked to see his pupils were huge. Barely any blue coming through. And it took me until now to realize he’d walked us toward our marui pod.

“You smell so good.” He shoves his nose in between my neck and my shoulder and takes a whiff, and I squeak in surprise.

“Yeah its that soap I used when we-“

“Not that smell.”

“Fuck.” I muttered as his voice had gotten deeper for some reason. “What are you doing.” I asked as he had still not let me down.

“I’ve neglected you far too long.” He lays me down and I’m surprised to feel something soft underneath me. I could feel whatever effects of that stupid mystery drink turning me on and I laid there breathing heavily looking at his face.

“May I kiss you?” He asks and I’m too stunned to speak. I look down to his lips but quickly look back up toward his eyes.

“Why are you being nice? Is the juice affecting you too?” I asked and take my hand to feel his forehead since I’d been feeling warm too. He closes his eyes and-

“Are you purring?” I asked as he manages to nuzzle my hand and make it look like I’d been caressing his face.

“May I kiss you, yawne.” He asks again and his eyes are bearing into my soul.

“I don’t- I,” I struggle to even think this through as a flame fans through my body. “Yes.”

And his lips are on mine. He takes one of his hands and places it on my cheek and I instinctively place my hand on his arm. He prods his tongue out to stroke my lip and I squeal and nip at it. He chuckles before continuing to kiss me and peppers my face with kisses as he moves his kisses down my neck.

“Mm-“ I moan as he starts sucking my pulse point and failed to realize my legs wrapped around his waist- chest I suppose.

“Sit up.” I demand and he immediately does so.

“Am I hurting-“

“Shut it.” I stated and sit on his lap. I used my telekinesis to place his hands on my hips and forced his neck down and feverishly kiss him again. He’s fighting himself as I feel him tremble slightly and his grip on my waist only slightly tightens and I’m mildly upset.

“Move my hips on you, do something dammit.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” He mutters.

“I’ll tell you if you’ve hurt me by screaming in pain, what I need is friction- yes- holy shit-“ I cut myself off and notice just how big his package feels.

“Did I hurt you?” He stops.

“No, you just feel- huge. Oh my Eywa is it going to fit?” I ramble and he moves me back over his lap and I grunt.

“I pray it does.” He grunts before kissing down my neck once more. His hand trails up to untie my top and I pause.

“May I take this off?” He asks so sweetly and I bite my lip and nod. He pulls the fabric tying it together and it becomes loose, I slip out of it and he goes back to kissing me and I’m disappointed in his silence.

He smiles cockily when he comes up for air and I want to punch his face but he says the sweetest thing before I can form a fist.

“I’m the luckiest man on pandora.” He kisses down my chest and takes one nipple into his mouth, twirling his tongue on my nipple.

“Ao’nung,” I moan as he pinches my other nipple.

“I like when you say my name like that.” He speaks directly to me, fully unashamed, and kisses my mouth.

His fingers trail down toward my ass, he cups my cheeks with his massive hands and kneads them, in the process he’s grinding me on his dick.

“Ao’nung-“ I moan again and try to push myself away from him but he takes my mouth into his and places the tip of his tongue in my mouth playfully stroking my own and I’m wet a hell from that action alone- and partly because of that juice.

“Yes, Yawne?”

“Take it off. Now.” I grunt and stand quickly without realizing his hand had already found the string and as I stood, my loincloth was untied and fell off.

“Yeah, luckiest man on Pandora.” He repeats his statement from earlier and I can’t help but roll my eyes.

“Have you ever-“ I stop myself from speaking and suddenly feel very self conscious.

“No.” He states fully and we both seem to be coming out of whatever the juice was doing to us- but only for a slight second.

“Have you?” He asks me and sits up.

“Never.” I admit and look away but feel my face being pulled back towards his in the gentlest way.

“We will learn with each other. We go as far as you want. I don’t want to pressure you to doing something you do not want.” He reassures me and kisses my lips again.

“So what now?” I asked him and he smiles.

“Lie down my sweet syulang.” He gently nudges me down and I follow his instructions. I can feel whatever flames were in my stomach before start to take over the nerves once again.

“Spread your legs.” He instructs and I follow and look up at the ceiling.

“Look at me, Yawne.” And I do. “You smell so sweet.”

“Wait, what are you-“ I ask before he licks a fat stripe on my pussy and I gasp.

He carefully wedges his tongue to spread my lips apart and I moan as he licks upward. He’s gently holding my thighs open but my hands felt empty. As if reading my mind his hands snake up to hold mine, the fists I once had were now warming up with his hands in them.

“Ao’nung rutxe, don’t st-ahh,” I’m the one letting his hands go and reach down toward his head and manage to tangle my fingers in there well enough to control his heads movements.

“You taste sweet, too.”

I now know why he’d held my thighs open earlier as I’m currently trying to suffocate him with them but the pleasure is too good and his tongue keeps circling on my clit and it all feels so good. And I feel something go in me at a gentle pace and the once building orgasm has muted as I feel it moving around.

“Ah-“ I open my eyes and look down to see he’s got one finger inside me and he’s staring me down. His finger stills but doesn’t pull out.

Does it hurt? He signs with his other hand

“N-no, just different, my fingers aren’t as thick as yours so this feels-“ I stop myself from rambling as he places a second finger in gently and I squeeze down hard.

“Ahh-“ I wince and try to withdraw but he stills my hips.

“Breathe, yawne. If I pull out now it could hurt worse, I will pull out if thats what you want but I’ve been told to tell you it gets better.”

“Told by who,”

“Is that really what you’re worried about?” He asks and I shake my head.

“It helps to forget the pain,”

“I can do that.” He immediately uses his thumb to circle my clit again and the pain subsides.

“Will it fit?” I ask again as his other hand is busy playing with my nipples.

“Yes.” He states but before I can ask if he’s sure he moves up to kiss me, and I just remembered how much bigger he was, yet he was being this gentle with me?

“Go faster my love,” I moan and connect out lips and start feeling pleasure from this experience. And he goes faster.

“Yes that spot, hit that again,” I clench my teeth at the overwhelming feeling I’m getting from his fingers and he smiles.

“Whatever you say, my love,” He smiles genuinely and it melts my heart. He leans down to kiss me again.

“Yes go faster, rutxe,”

“You don’t have to say that for me to go faster. You say and I’ll do. Always.” He says while going faster

“Kiss me.” And he kisses me.

“Again-“ He kisses me again.

“Mate with me,”

He unties his loincloth with one hand and slips out of it easily and the sight of his penis has my eyes widening. He tells me he’s going to slide his fingers out and does so but my eyes are on something else entirely.

“Theres blood on my fingers-“ He stares at his fingers in horror.

“Thats normal- for me.” I take his hand and hold it close to my chest. “On Earth, when you have sex for the first time, this happens. The custom- a long time ago- used to be to do this for the first time in your wedding night with the person you love.”

“It is a sign of loyalty?” Ao’nung questions and I nod.

“It’s like tsaheylu.”

“Then let us complete our custom.” He grabs his braid and brings it forward, his white tendrils moving in all directions.

“Are you certain?” I ask him and he smiles, giving me a peck real quick. He grabs my braid for me but before connecting looks me directly in my eyes.

“Are you certain?” He’s asking so sweetly while making sure our braids don’t connect.

“Yes.”

And the feeling itself is euphoric. My pupils are blown wide I’m sure, I could slightly feel them getting larger. I can feel how fast Ao’nung is breathing and can feel the strain of his cock as if the feeling were my own. I could feel how his heart was beating and the same warmth had settled over his own belly.

“Nga yawne lu oer,” Ao’nung states breathlessly.

“I love you, too.” I respond in english

It’s like he understood what I meant as he leans down to kiss me and manages to settle me in missionary. He lifts his head up and looks down between us and back up at me. I nod and feel him start to get nervous.

“It’s okay.” I place a hand on his cheek and gingerly stroke it.

“I don’t want to hurt you,”

“Have I screamed in pain at any point?” I ask and he smiles, kissing me again. He looks down between us and places his cock in his hands and guides it in slowly. I could feel my body clenching in anticipation and I shut my eyes harshly.

“Shit.” I grunt and squeeze harder when I feel the head sliding in slowly. The stretch burned real bad and at this point I stopped breathing.

“Breathe my love,” He gently strokes my clit after stopping just after his head had been pushed in.

“Ma’nung, you’re big.” I groan and throw my head back as the subtle sparks of him rubbing my clit start to fan the flames more.

“You’re so tight I might burst too soon.” He strains and I start to relax.

“Thats a compliment on Earth-“ I try to laugh and he slaps my thigh.

“Ahh!” I whine and he goes back to rubbing my clit and I moan immediately after.

“I’m going to keep pushing-“ He starts and as he does I can feel a sense of fullness but also his length dragging heavily on my g-spot and I moan.

“If you don’t move some more, I will cut your penis off.” I threaten and I can tell he’s confused by the sudden change of pace but I know he can feel what I feel.

“Shit, is that me?” He asks and I open my eyes to see him biting his lip, one of his fangs poking out, I look down myself and see a small bulge moving in my lower belly.

“Yes thats you-“ I moan as he’d started sliding out and his cock continues rubbing against my G-spot, it feels like the many orgasms I brought myself to happening all at once.

“Go faster-“ I whine and he does, snapping his hips at a steady pace and it feels so damn good.

“Faster-“ and he follows my command, not once questioning me.

“You’re swallowing me so easily, you feel so soft rubbing all over, and your stomach is- fuck-“ He cuts himself off and seems unsure of where to stare, at my pussy swallowing his cock or at my stomach as it plays peek-a-boo with him.

“Yawne, I’m too close-“

“I’m coming Ao’nung-“ I whine and feel myself spasm around his cock as I blubber on some stupid Na’Vi mixed with english non-sense.

Not once had he stopped thrusting his hips and the feeling of my orgasm continuously being stroked on had started what felt like the build of another one.

“Cock so good I’m coming twice-“ I groan in English and he starts whining himself. I never knew Na’vi men were vocal, and for some reason, the question can I come? Kept replaying in my head. Realizing I was still connected to Ao’nung I reach my hand up and pat his arm and he opens his eyes, lust evident on his face.

“You can come my love-“

The look of relief washed over his face but I could still feel like he was holding back. More of his thoughts flood my mind.

“Do it.” I confirm and he leans his whole body over mine, hitting spots I thought he was hitting before, quite literally fucking me so dumb I forgot my own name. His thrusts feel even more powerful at this angle and he bites the skin between my neck and my shoulder. His come washes over the both of us as I have my second orgasm and massage the spurts of come from his dick, coaxing more to come out with every wave of pleasure I felt. He lazily kisses me and pulls out, I hiss from the sting of his fat head stretching me open.

“Come here-“ Ao’nung quite literally lifts me to lay on his chest as we both catch our breath.

“I meant it.” He says while lazily stroking my back, but he didn’t have to explain, we were still connected, I already knew.

“I do too.” I sigh and lean into his chest to listen to his heart beat lulling me to sleep.

_________

I wake up and realize my body is being caged in but I felt warm and comfortable so I stayed snuggled up in what I thought was my blanket.

“Good, you’re awake.”

My eyes have never snapped open so quick after hearing that voice. His morning after voice was deep and sensual and it had me tingling. I look up to see that it was still dark.

“It’s not morning yet.” I groan and get comfortable again.

“Yes, my love, but I need some assistance.” He states as if he were straining and I turn my head to see him struggling with another boner.

“Oh my-“ I turn quickly. “- how long have you been dealing with that!” I asked and he whines.

“You’ve spent the entire time grinding me while you slept, I didn’t want to wake you, but we mate up to three times during one session.” He tries saying it in a nice way but I understood what he meant.

“Slide it in next time.”

“But you were sleeping.”

“I know, Ma’nung, but nothing better than waking up to an orgasm, or being loved on.” I stated while sliding one leg up, still laying sideways.

Ao’nung is hesitant, but we were still connected by our bond too. I was surprised.

“I forgot you have a fat head-“ I groan as he slides it in and gives me time to adjust but also feeling instant relief to be back inside me. The hand underneath my waist snakes over to rub my clit as he pumps pathetically inching in very slowly, but I could feel what he felt.

“Come inside my love-“ I moan as he comes inside for the second time tonight, letting him continue thrusting lazily while sliding across my G-spot.

“You feel so warm, so good, I can’t get enough.” He groans while continuing the same movement and I could feel him getting hard again.

“Is this why your mom is pregnant for the sixth time?” I asked and he ignores me but wraps his hands around my body, pulling me closer to him.

“Can I come again, my love?” He asks while his thrusts are becoming more powerful.

“How many more times can you come tonight?” I asked and start meeting his thrusts in the middle, feeling the familiar sensation about to snap in my belly.

“As many times as it takes to make you round with child, I can’t wait to see you waddle with my life inside of you-“

“Fill me to the brim,” I groaned as he continues thrusting while imagining myself pregnant with his children. But the mental images he was seeing began flashing in my mind and he wanted to fuck me while pregnant, pushing my body past its limits and taking me in every position.

“Come my love-“ He grunts in my ear and all I can do is squeeze around his cock and moan loudly.

_________

“You don’t want anyone to hear us, do you?” He teases while thrusting in my cunt ever so slowly while he held me against the tree.

“No,” I try to stay quiet but he only slaps his big hand over my mouth.

He’d decided to fish on the docks today instead of following a hunting party and when he’d finish casting his third net full of fish he’d told the guys he was with that he’d be back in a few. I’d been picking seashells with his mom and sister when he called me away and lead me to where we were.

“You’re such a pathetic thing, Yawne,” He glides his dick over my G spot effortlessly and I’m a mess, I’m struggling to keep my eyes open.

“Eyes on me, my love, I want to see what I do to you.” He smiles cockily and I whine loud enough for him to hear.

“I want to come-“

“No.” He states firmly and slides his cock back in. “Be good for me and we’ll see if you deserve to come, my love.”

“Kiss me-“ I demand and he leans in, gently taking in the back of my neck and kissing me sweetly.

“G-go faster-“ I pant as he does and my eyes roll back.

“Come my love, come.” Ao’nung instructs me and I bite my lip as I release myself all over his cock.

“No don’t pull out,” I hold on to his hand tightly as if thats where I needed to hold him.

“We have to go back and-“

“I need you, Ma’nung,” I complain and he smirks.

“Of course, how could I have been so dumb,” He states and starts thrusting even faster.

“Ah!” I moaned and he slaps his hand over my mouth again.

“How can something so small be so loud?” He groans in my ear while he thrusts into me. My toes were curling as if they had a mind of their own and he was only holding me by my waist with one hand, he’s so fucking strong.

“How can someone so big be so big-“ I groan as he resorts to moving me up and down on his cock.

“I want to torture this orgasm out of you, my love. I want to make you the same babbling mess you were last night.” His voice was deeper and he was starting to grunt with every thrust. His hand came down from my mouth and stroked my clit lazily.

“Please let me come-“

“No.”

“Thats what you said earlier and you still let me-“ I whine and he forcefully grabs my cheeks to pull my face closer toward his.

“You cum when you only know my name and nothing else.”

I squeezed on him harder.

“You like when I’m rough with you, huh.” He places his hand on my chest and I grab it and place it on my neck without flinching and gently squeezes the sides and I could feel myself squeezing his cock once more.

“No, I w-wan- come.”

“Not dumb enough my love.”

_________

“Is anything off lim-limi- limits with y-you?” I asked as he thrusts under the water while his thick cock glides in and out of me.

“No. Never.” He groans before going faster. “You’ll be the death of me, now shut up and come.” He states while circling my clit.

“I don-don’t wanna-“ I whine but was to sensitive to hold on any longer.

“Yes you do, I can feel it. And not because we’re connected.”

_________

“Yawne please!” Ao’nung cries as I slide down further.

I’d mentioned riding once and he had been asking every single day if we could try it, but I wasn’t sure how feasable it would be, only because he’s huge and the thigh strength I’d need would need to come fro Eywa herself.

“This isn’t easy for me either!” I groan and completely slid down his cock and met his hips. Realization hits me as he hugs my body into his own.

“No you better not-“

“I’m coming~” He moans in my ear and it triggered my own orgasm.

_________

“Quiet my love.” Ao’nung shushes me.

“Please,” I beg and he thrusts harshly into me and I moan again.

“I love you-“ He states in English.

“Nga yawne lu oer-“ I whine back as he circles my clit with his thumb. He slams back in again.

“I like seeing you fucked dumb, my love.” He responds in English again and I’m going crazy.

“How bad do you want to come?” He asks in Na’vi and I can’t comprehend the question at all and babble some nonsense.

“I need you to come, sweet girl.” He coo’s and covers my mouth to muffle my sounds with his own in a deep heated kiss.

“Thats it, my love,” He coo’s as he joins me, still managing to gently caress my cheeks at his highest point of euphoria.

_________

“Have you told her it was an aphrodisiac?” Neytiri asks and Lo’ak rolls his eyes.

“Yes Ma’am.” He replies.

“Good.” Ronal states while working on cutting the fruit she had.

“Was this necessary?” Tsireya asks while sneaking a couple of the fruit pieces for herself since she was expecting.

“All the necessary, my sweet girl.” Ronal stated to her daughter.

“If not for that small lie they would not be sneaking around horribly and procreating like they are.” Neytiri points out.

“They’re sneaking around in public and doing that?” Taireya’s eyes widen In shock and Lo’ak laughs.

“Of course they are. Just the other day, Ao’nung said he couldn’t come hunting because he had to pick some tulip thorns from the tree’s for her. They grow in the ground.”

Ronal laughs at this too and shakes her head.

“Maybe she will become pregnant soon like us.” Kiri happily continues creating medicine or saves from the peels of the fruit.

“Human male and Hybrid Na’vi can procreate. Lets see if Na’vi nale and hybrid Na’vi can do the same.” Ronal smiles.

“I believe they can. Our world is changing.” Neytiri comments.

[theredpharaoah]

Dare I say we give Giles too much. I think him not giving Buffy the Slayer Handbook was dumb and ignorant. The Handbook didn’t just have rules for the Slayer, it was the definitive guide to magic on Earth and its history. The fact they never pull it out again after the first episode irritates the hell out of me. How helpful would that have been for all the Scoobies - Willow could’ve picked up magic way quicker. It probably would’ve helped Buffy hone the psychic abilities she never really developed. Remember how she’s supposed to be able to sense vampires and stuff? And in the comics, Erin had access to all the Slayer memories(I’m pretty sure) because he inherited the psychic side of the lineage. Again, that could’ve been cool to see and very helpful.

I also feel - as stated many times before - Giles completely failed with Faith. People talk about how Buffy built up that rapport with Giles and her friends - that she made their relationship the way it was. But that’s irrelevant because the relationship was present and stable at the time of Faith’s arrival. We see when Kendra comes that even the Giles is a bit taken-aback to her very by-the-book approach to being a slayer. So when Faith came - who is extremely similar to Buffy - how did Giles not immediately feel that paternal instinct he has with Buffy, Willow, and Xander? That sort of instinct comes easier the more people you consider to be your “children”. I mean it’s crazy that The Mayor had to take Faith out of that nasty ass motel. A literal demon had to go “that’s no place for a young girl”. And sure he had a motive but the fact that none of the decent people had already said it? And the way they handled the accidental kill of the evil assistant to the mayor? First of all, the Slayer killing humans is frowned upon but it’s not a hard and fast rule. I’m not saying they should just go around killing ppl, but I’m not going to feel bad that Faith killed a man who was working for demons anyway. And compare that to how they reacted to Buffy Killing Ted(when they thought she had); completely different reaction. And Buffy had exhibited far more animosity towards Ted, than Faith had for some random who got in the way.

Giles as an adult - and something of an educator - should’ve immediately clocked that Faith did not have the same upbringing as the other 3, that the Scoobies were falling into their childish instincts and alienating her, and he should’ve gone out of his way to include her and impress upon the others why they needed to accept her. Especially after they found out about her Watcher’s death and saw how terrified she was of Kakistos. Why did Buffy and Angel have to be the ones to find out Faith needed to be fought for - that she needed help to deal with her trauma. I was really disappointed in Buffy as she’d lost her watcher and relocated just like Faith. She also understood how lonely and dangerous it is being a Slayer. But I can’t blame Buffy all that much cuz she’s a kid. And Giles willing all of his things to Faith in the comics and only the Slayer Handbook to Buffy did not move me. Giles considered Buffy to be the “One True Slayer” was not a gag. Everyone considers her to be that, giving her this handbook after she’s been a Slayer for damn near a decade is insulting. She don’t need that shit no more - she had to learn it all on the job. And giving Faith his money so she could retire from violence? Faith’s violence wasn’t the issue, her relationship to it was. The whole thing read as very melodramatic and self-absorbed.

Giles was very childish and we see it all throughout the series, but especially in the later seasons. I mean when you actually think about it, he’s so ridiculous. Buffy was 22 at the end of the series. 22 and she has to take care of a teen sister, pay mortgage, bills, etc. Could you imagine that amount of responsibility at that age? Our society still considers 22 year olds to be pseudo-teens for the most part. And he left cuz he “didn’t want her to become dependent on him”…what type of shit? She was already dependent on you - you’d been her Father Figure since she was 16 and throughout a boatload of trauma. You pretty much raised the girl. And you know that - that’s why you had a dream of taking child Buffy to the fair. He’s human, but that doesn’t excuse the level of cowardice he exhibited for me.

Also, I think instead of killing Jenny in Passions, they should’ve had her live. I think she would’ve been great as Faith’s mentor. And while she didn’t take the Scoobies to task for blaming her about Angel and alienating her, I definitely think she would’ve gotten them together for their treatment of Faith. I also think she would’ve pointed out Giles’ differential treatments of the two.

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

⭐!!

I have had half finished asks from this ask game sitting in my drafts for weeks and by god I will finish some of them.

Let’s talk Shoko’s discussion of RCT in chapter 11.

Pretty much every character that I write is at least a slightly unreliable narrator. Some of what they say is inaccurate, some is tinted by their own biases, some is just straight up untrue.

Shoko analogizes the experience of RCT pretty heavily to drug use. And while this comparison is not entirely inaccurate, I think it’s not entirely accurate either. And that’s directly because she’s been so heavily affected by her own experiences with RCT that she can’t really untangle the two.

It’s not a bad analogy. RCT hits you with some extremely good feeling or effect when you use it. In the aftermath, you go through a period of craving it. And the more you use it, the less of an effect it has, so you need higher doses to get the same effects. There’s a lot of similarities.

But RCT is in no way as bad as drug use.

For one thing, there’s absolutely zero negative health effects to RCT. The opposite is true, actually—it has a positive effect on your health. It is also guaranteed to lose all “negative” side effects one day—and I use negative loosely, because RCT itself doesn’t actually have any negative side effects. Cursed energy does. The positive effects of RCT just make them more noticeable.

Shoko talks about RCT in terms of drugs because of what the higher ups did to her.

When writing Shoko, I couldn’t really escape the fact that we just didn’t have a lot about her in canon. She’s an ex smoker. She drinks a lot. She’s one of the only people who can use RCT, and the school keeps her almost on lock down as a result. She was friends with Gojo and Geto in high school. She cheated through med school. There wasn’t a lot past that.

So I do what I usually do when I have a character I want to write and not a lot of canon to base them on, and I pick a few of their known traits and spin those out.

I thought it would be interesting if she had a kind of addictive personality. She’s been smoking (and likely drinking) since early in high school at least. She seemed to struggle to break her smoking habit, and relapsed in the series.

It also kind of made sense to me in terms of the change joining jujutsu tech would have made.

We don’t know anything about her family, so I assume that she’s from non-sorcerer lineage, and it seems like she knew RCT when she came to jujutsu high. So a young kid who had no context for what was going on and had fucking healing superpowers? I would have thought I was invincible. I would have been flinging myself off cliffs.

But then she joined the wider jujutsu world, and she was canonically sort of kept in time out from then on. She was too valuable to risk as their only healer, so she very rarely got to go out on missions and was kept on campus for her own safety.

So, assuming Shoko had the same response of “holy fuck I’m Wolverine” that I would have had, she very quickly went from Kamikaze For Tots to being swaddled in bubble wrap and placed in her princess tower.

Her only friends were probably kept extremely busy, considering they were both special grade. So she probably spent a lot of time on campus alone, bored as fuck, trying to thumb her way through Neuroscience for Dummies and looking for something to do. She was isolated and vulnerable. If someone wanted to convince someone of a bad idea, telling a bored and lonely kid with an addictive personality who had a guaranteed way of undoing the bad effects that smoking was fun and cool and good for her is a pretty solid target. She would have been a prime target to be introduced to drugs and alcohol from a young age.

It also just seemed kind of weird to me that she was a smoker in high school? The legal smoking age in Japan is 20. Shoko’s a teenager. Her class is made up of literally three people. Like, if you ever wanted to have an anti-smoking initiative in a school with a high chance of success, it would be the school that has three fucking students. Culturally, smoking seems to be perceived a little more positively in Japan than it is in America, which you can’t discount when grading response of the school administration, but also you can’t discount the fact that it is something outlawed for the child’s wellbeing and the school at least was turning a blind eye to it because, again, they had three fucking students so it’s kind of hard to miss.

I decided that if the school was the one starting her on cigarettes and alcohol, it would have indulged that self destructive, addictive part of her that was getting antsy now that she was in a Princess Tower. It would have made her feel cool, and it wouldn’t have seemed to have any consequences because all she had to do was heal the damage they did.

But it would have also made her dependent on the school’s administration. They’re the ones who supply her with the cigarettes and alcohol. She can’t easily get them on her own while she’s underaged. It’s a little point of control that they have over her now.

Of course, that point of control wasn’t enough. When Maki talks about Gojo taking off with Megumi, Shoko and Nanami took off with them. She had shown that she was willing to leave. And she was getting older. She wouldn’t need them to buy her cigarettes anymore.

So they introduced her to the harder stuff, which set her off into an actually negative cycle with RCT. She would do hard drugs, which would get her high. Then she’d heal the damage, which would make her feel high. Then would get withdrawals from both drugs and RCT and be driven to do more. Then she’d acclimate to her doses of both, which would drive her to do higher doses of drugs, which would lead to more damage, which would lead to a bigger high with RCT. She was just constantly destroying herself and healing herself in an endless loop, and she feels a lot of shame about how bad she let it get.

I think that the lens we view the world through is in no small part the product of our unconscious biases and personal experiences. She described it in terms of drugs because that was her experience. But it really is different from drugs in a lot of ways, and it’s not inherently negative. Someone else might have come up with a different analogy than drugs. She came up with such a negative one because her experience with it was so negative, and it’s kind of sad to me. It’s a huge part of her life, and she’ll never quite reclaim how she views it from what the higher ups did to her.

[quieteclipse]

idk if i like this design for my potential gachiakuta oc, but it'll do for now until i get to know her better.

anyways, idk her name yet, it'll come after i figure out her story.

i'm thinking her jinki is her "pet snake" (a wooden snake that's childhood toy given to her by her best friend (long gone (not deceased?))) that turns into a dragon. i think it'd be kinda cool if she could turn any toy animal into a jinki, buuuuuuut we'll see. i don't wanna ruin the novelty of rudo's entire character.

as for her backstory, i'll kinda just go with the flow as a write this. first drafts are first drafts 🤷🏿‍♀️ depending on my fixation with the series, she'll either be left to rot as is or she'll get a complete & total overhaul later on.

anyways, so i'm thinking her ancestors are from the sphere/sky. but somewhere along her family history, they got sent down to the abyss (and somehow survived). i kinda wanna make it into a thing where the family in ber ancestry was a big one, and because they were so big, the higher ups thought they were prostituting/selling the kids or hust doing something vaguely shady.....so they sent THE WHOLE FAMILY down. as if the kids would've been at fault in that situation lmaooo

a lot of them didn't survive, namely the parents and the younger kids. it was mostly the eldest & middle children that survived the fall. but even from there, not many managed to survive the toxins or skypeople traffickers, so it resulted in the eldest son and the surviving youngest daughter being the ones to carry on the family legacy.

each of the known surviving child were dedicated to having just one or two children each—provided they or their offspring even wanted children—and that was something that continued for generations until alitash tasifa's* generation.

(*that's her name now; alitash is an ethiopian name that means "may i never lose you" and tasifa is an amharic surname that means "hope". hopefully these meanings are correct! )

i think ali grew up very lonely because somehow, someway, her family lineage (that she knew of) grew smaller and smaller until it was only her and her parents—and of course her parents have to die at some point.

and i guess, since i mentioned a childhood best friend! maybe she ends up living with her childhood bestie & their family for a bit until something happens with them. i guess they ended up needing to move and they didn't/couldn't take ali with them. the best friend's larting gift was the wooden toy snake they made themselves (it was to replce this "trashy" toy lizard ali picked up randomly off the street). ali gave them her favorite "trashy" toy lizard in exchange.

once when ali went up to meet their bestie & the fam, she ends up finding out that no one knew anything about a new family moving in. and in her search for them, she discovers that they never even made it to town. but that's pretty much all she ended up finding out.

for a while, ali kind of just wandered around since she had no real place to go back to and no one was waiting for her either.

she ends up inadvertently meeting engine & riyo after they tripped over her seemingly lifeless body in the streets. ali had kind of given up at that point and was just wasting away, waiting to die, but the funny thing is, her jinki was wrapped around her, protecting her from the elements & predators. engine of course saw this and bet on her potential as a cleaner, so he reasoned with ali's jinki (gotta give it a name) and eventually, they were able to gain its trust so that they could take ali in.

it was hard for ali to open up at first, because she was convinced that she'd eventually cause the cleaners to disappear somehow...or make them "throw her away". but she has been with them ever since and has gained her old self back.

now, as for what her "old self" means....? aka, what her personality is.....idk. in my mind, ali is grown, maybe like 28. the first thing that comes to my mind is a "wine aunt" kinda vibe. she is generally cheerful and loving, maybe a little friendly-flirty, but a deep melancholy permeates her exterior sometimes. she doesn't have much book smarts (and she's insecure about it, which is why she has a penchant for studying), but she has a lot of street smarts.

she has complicated feelings on whether she wants a family herself or not one day. it's mostly because she has only one person on her mind when it comes to love, and she doesn't even know if that person is dead or alive.

also irt her childhood best friend, i'm absolutely imagining them being a minor vandal or some sort of antagonist.

i'm also wanting for a relative (or relatives) of hers to show up at some point. like from one of those lost siblings all those generations ago. i want my pookie to have a family 🥺 i mean, she'll have a found family with the cleaners, but you know. having options isnt bad.

ummmmm i think that's it. for now anyways. so much of this is off rip & so vague, but it's a decent start for now i think.

[wikkerwisp]

Heyyyy so...whos your favorite character from atlantis

Honestly; All the *OG* crew who helped Milo in the end are bits of my favorites— I loved Vinny's depressive but witty humor and love of fire. I love Mole's quirky dirt keeping and clearly particular essence. Audrey was a gd sweetie but also strong, right minded, and clever. Packard was the embodiment of (who she was), a goddamn chain smoking gossiping communicator who acted as a (clearly) witty bourbon grandma to the others. Sweets is just fucking iconic as hell and the only one other than Milo and Kida with gumption to protect life (and is thoroughly the dad of the group actually)— but also— goddamn as a 'anti-hero' or even adversary, *Helga* was goddamn epic, sly, smart as hell and could've done better than Rourke.. However.

Kida, there's always her too, always I was inspired by her empathy, courage, curiosity, and even innocence to rely on the first outsider to plead for her people at large—even with the risks attached.

However, furthermore.

Bold faced truth—

My biggest favorite is obviously, because as a very malnutritioned bean pole nerd ass historian and being fascinated by linguistics and ancient cultures of *all* types— Milo fucking Thatch.

His obvious and outright interest and love (let alone mastery) of the many ancient languages, history, social norms, and his ***willingness to learn***—

I aspired to be an 'ally' /guy like him, even being born as an AFAB because as much as this movie (inherently as it is a white savior trope)— *Milo isn't going to talk over Kida, nor the king*- he sadly, let's Mr. Jughead Mercenary Commander do all the talking (I always hated Rourke, I could tell even as a kid at the beginning of the movie how much of a shady shithead capitalist he was).

Milo. For lack of better terms, is what I aspired to be as a kid— from the moment I saw him?

Kind, curious, factual, strong willed (albeit an awkward ass lonely guy with no friends initially and only his cat)— and above all— Willing to try, learn, and understand— let alone with the utmost empathy to Kida, and his fellow crew members.

The third to last finale scene— (the truck scene where they are hauling Kida away for profit and Rourke punches Milo)—

Was such a powerful scene- of bystanders who were powerless seeing this white bean pole of a man be socked in the nose by this giant Jughead bitch- only for his crewmates to realize.... Milo was not only right, but catering to their truths. As people. And the *adversity* all of the other crew had likely faced before.. and reflected the shitty things they did.

Milo standing up for not just Kida, but the late-Atlantian king— as well as the people themselves— as a complete outsider— against (arguably) "his own people"— to show their ignorance and sheer greed ... let alone what they were truly committing to— genocide of an entire race/ancient culture/entire lineage of families who were already dying out.

My biggest note to take from Atlantis, was not just Milo's defense and argue for an entire race, but seeing the same kindof hopelessness to feel he could change anything that Vinny, Mole, Packard, Cookie, Sweets, or even — FUCKIN FIRST OF THEM TO ACT WAS THE CLEARLY LATIN CODED GIRL, OUR HOMELASS AUDREY.

Audrey's scene, Milo's pleas, and the whole gd scene of her glaring at everyone and *each of them* knowing full fucking well where Milo is right, and not only that— but them realizing three main things then and there:

1. Rourke would likely also betray them the same, and realizing how Milo truly considered them friends.

2. Not only what they were doing is wrong, but *Vinny* of all people making the case that (paraphrased) "(other times) Someone got hurt, but not someone we knew." Detailing that he considered not just Milo a friend, but that they had only *lived* because of Milo's guidance and help. And that Rourke was abandoning him.

3. Notice, other than fuckin Packard and Milo, (including Sweets, but he was busy back at the palace)— all the main crew was either non-white or POC, or Mole (who is French).

Meaning, they *knew* intrinsically what it was like to be almost eradicated, loss of their livelyhood/cultures, hell— taken advantage of by not just imperialism, at large— but now Rourke.

And Milo stood not just with the Atlantian people, Kida, and her father— but because he was (albeit white)— used and maltreatment and not taken seriously as a person too— he understood not just the facts, but the deep deep guttural empathy of even his crew mates.

Pleading their hearts, to make the right choice— because he knew they had too, taken him in, albeit fucking with him.. and that they had meant something to him— whether they cared or not.

And the moment Audrey, Mole, Vinny, Packard and Cookie (sans Sweets)— all realized (with Rourke punching Milo and fucking him up/over personally breaking the photo + damning him to rot along with the Atlantian people—

As soon as they realized #1-#3— Specifically Audrey (we see the buildup of her looking at Milo in the mirror and trying to keep her mouth shut—

The others followed, seeing not just the fact that Rourke was fucking up an entire civilization— but now too— one of their own.

And despite their prior attitudes, proved that they were guilt ridden to some degree- and only stayed because they considered eachother ' a broken family'— much like what Milo also went through, losing his (both?) parents and then Thaddeus (his grandfather).

...

I rambled.

But yeah, Milo inspired me a lot, and his sheer willingness to try new food, new religion, mystical nonsense and even using ancient knowledge to save a civilization knowing damn well he might fail?

And not just doing it for only Kida and *her* people, but stood up (again, even after being hurt, and fighting) because it was ***right***.

[loominggaia]

Trying to test a Crack Theory I have; How many kids does each Great Kingdoms Ruler have?

I know that Gultopp has three, Hethor has at least one and Oberon has four,(btw, why did Sanctoria have four kids with that dirt bag?) so what about the others? You've mentioned Sovereigns wife harem, so I guessing Mr. Ocean is an uncle to at least a dozen octo-babies.

Good questions! Let's tally up their offspring first...

Gultopp Folkvar: On paper, he has 2 kids. In reality, he has 3. His middle child is profoundly disabled, so he hides her away out of shame and for her own safety.

Marghan Matuzu: Hasn't claimed any children officially, but God knows he probably has many bastard kids floating around in the world.

Chua Lamai: None. Chua is celibate and infertile on top of that, so kids aren't in the cards for them.

Roz Yerim-Mor: 2 sons and 1 daughter, all by different mothers. One son is a Morite military captain, the other is a high-ranking Cultist of the Crescent. His daughter is secretly a priestess of Love and Light. Yeeeah, family get-togethers are about as awkward as you'd think...

Qara Zareen: Has just one daughter, who is even more spoiled and useless than herself.

Indiga Evangeline: 2 daughters. One is a Lindist religious zealot and the other is a Matuzan spy.

Oberon Mogdir: 2 sons and 2 daughters.

Hethor Etios: 9 sons on paper, 10 in reality. One was born from infidelity and secretly sent away to a foreign kingdom.

Serafeen of Damijana: None. But secretly had an abortion once, which was a whole fiasco that ended with a top scientist getting assassinated. Damijana just be like that.

Titania of the Seelie: Never had children, unless you count the faerys she forged with her divine powers.

Morgause of the Unseelie: Had children in the past, but the exact number isn't known because Morgause was uh, let's say...a very loose lady in her youth. She crapped out kids and left them all over the place when she served Titania, because as a royal knight for the Bright Court, she had no time for family. After that, she married a divine, who was of course infertile. After scaring him off, she has become infertile herself due to all the soul-sucking she does to keep herself immortal. All of her past children have been dead for a very long time.

Sovereign of Aquaria: Probably several dozen children, even more grandchildren, and even more great grandchildren, and so on. He's been at it for centuries and his lineage is massive at this point. He doesn't know most of their names and doesn't really care. He only cares if they're "defective" in some way. Sovereign thinks himself a perfect specimen, so if a child doesn't meet his standard, he blames the mother's genetics and banishes the child to some faraway place. I like to think he has some offspring who are similar to Mr. Ocean, who were deemed defective because they are a little offbeat, a little too sensitive, or a little quirky. It's very possible that Mr. Ocean could meet them someday!

Why did Sanctoria have 4 kids with Oberon?

I imagine their first child was conceived before she realized what a scumbag her husband really was. The second was conceived when she was starting to figure it out, but still thought she could fix him. Their third child was her last-ditch attempt to bring them closer together, hoping Oberon would love the baby enough to stop his nasty ways.

Of course that didn't work, and by this time Sanctoria was being written off as a loony because Oberon convinced the entire kingdom she was insane. Her last child was growing into a spoiled daddy's girl who ratted on her for trying to kill her husband, which only isolated her more. Sanctoria deliberately had her 4th child because she was lonely and just wanted someone to love her unconditionally. A new baby fit that role nicely, although she knows it's just a matter of time before that baby grows up and writes her off like everyone else.

Poor Tori. :( And poor Mogdir kids, they never stood a chance with parents like these...

*

Questions/Comments?

Lore Masterpost

[fatedcadenza]

So something super important that likely won't come up in rp for a long time (but I want to talk about it now because I'm impatient lol) is Ludwig's lineage.

Here, I have him as actually being Bowser's eldest son (with Jr subsequently being his little blood brother). I'll be honest, I was SUPER disappointed years back when Miyamoto stated the Koopalings weren't Bowser's kids. Because...there's no fun in that. But I did think up this plotline while I was creating this blog, and figured putting a twist on things could be interesting.

Ludwig has zero idea Bowser's his dad. Based on the sparse things his mom revealed and how she often said "don't concern yourself with him", he reached his own conclusion that his dad was a deadbeat loser who ditched her because he didn't want to bother with fatherhood. In reality, Bowser and Clawdia separated because he chose the throne of the kingdom over her - while not knowing that she was pregnant at the time. The choice was already made though.

Bowser wanted Ludwig in the Koopa Troop because he did want to expand the force with promising talent, but also because...well, that's his firstborn. Maybe part of him wanted to somehow make up for lost time too. The other Koopalings only joined because Bowser didn't want Ludwig to be too lonely and discouraged from performing well. Will he ever tell him the truth? Or will it come to light some other way? Who knows.

I did add this to my rules, but again, no Bowser blogs need to humor me with this. If it's easier or more enjoyable, in our interactions Ludwig can just be a mere minion to him and nothing more.

[lupua-larua]

@artsy-hobbitses​ has created an amazing humanformers au called Ties That Bind ( @tiesthatbind-tf​ ) and I adore it so much. The world building is just perfection and i love the amount of details and thought she puts into it. So, to say she inspired me to play around in the sandbox that is her au is putting it lightly lol. I’ve come up with a lot of ideas for different characters that don’t directly affect her story, since she’s said it’s alright! To start it off, I thought I’d do my favorite Decepticon doctor (ft. Morgan and Stefan). I have many more ideas for Breakdown, the Stunticons, and more >:3c. Keep reading for background!

Nikolai Ochu was born and raised in Bekovo, a small town in the Kemerovo oblast of Russia. It was a tiny town with a thriving Teleut community and centered on mining coal from an abandoned Quintesson stripmine. He was raised by his mother, father, and paternal grandparents, all of them coming from a lineage of laborers. His mother’s family ran the local horse stable, breeding the animals for food, agricultural work, and mining labor. The paternal side of his family came from a long line of miners, his father worked the stripmine alongside Nikolai’s grandfather. It was expected that Nikolai would join them. There was an increasing demand for miners. Much to the relief of Nikolais parents, it became quickly apparent that he wouldn't be able to go into any heavy labor job. Their son was born with a sinus tachycardia arrhythmia, a heart condition that made Nikolai dizzy, short of breath, and even led to chronic fainting when he overexerted himself. Even with the income of four people, the family couldn't afford surgery to fix his heart. Unable to help in the mines, Nikolai Helped his mother take care of the horses instead.

Many of the children in the village resented Nikolai. While they were stuck underground, Nikolai got to be under the sun, playing with the horses. The other kids avoided him, refusing to play with him or let him join in their games. They made fun of him for being so sick. Nikolai was a rather lonely child thanks to it. To not let it get to him, he told himself he didn't like other people much anyway. The only friend he needed was Grigorii Togul, the neighbor's son who was dropped off whenever his father went to work with Nikolai’s father in the mines. Grigorii’s mother passed away shortly after he was born, so he was often watched by Nikolai’s mother. She would have them help her take care of the horses, even letting the kids ride the horses. Nikolai loved playing with Grigorii, he even taught him how to saddle the horses and showed him tricks the horses could do. Grigorii was a no-nonsense kind of kid who enjoyed Nikolai’s confidence and enthusiasm when working with the horses. Grigorii was also very loyal to his friends, so it wasn’t uncommon for fights to start because someone badmouthed Nikolai. When they got in too much trouble for that, the two of them would race horses against the other kids, with Nikolai becoming the reigning champion. It won him respect from the kids that seemed to hate him. The praise they showered over him made Nikolai feel good about himself.

It seemed to be a given that Nikolai was going to work on the family farm when it came time for his apprenticeship. Nikolai was certain of his path, he loved the horses and caring for them. However, things changed when his mother started to teach her son about the trade, starting with taking the horses to the mines by himself. Grigorii, now starting to help his father in the mines, would tag along with him. Nikolai was shocked when he saw the miners. It was hard not to notice them, and even harder to look away. The people were mangled, and disfigured. Parts of their bodies were missing. He asked Grigorii, and was told that the town wasn’t well cared for. The mines were in terrible conditions, with supports that old and ready to collapse without warning. Cave-ins were a common occurrence that maimed and killed miners. The coal dust from the mines choked the miners, making them sick. As if that wasn’t enough, coal dust would come off the transport trains and blanket the city, forcing everyone in the town to breathe it in. Bekovo was suffering because of the mines, and no one cared enough to help. Grigorii confided in Nikolai that he was kind of afraid of going into the mines, but he wanted to help the miners with their work. He was going to start working with them as soon as he could. Nikolai found himself wanting to help the people of Bekovo too, but wasn’t sure where to start.

Nikolai found his answer when Grigorii, Grigorii’s father, Nikolai’s father, and Nikolkai’s grandfather were caught in a mine collapse. Grigorii was the only survivor of the accident, but he didn’t come out unscathed. His hands had been crushed, bones broken and nerves damaged. While they would heal eventually, there was no guarantee they would work like before. He’d be unable to work the mines anymore. He was taken in by Nikolai’s mother, given a place to live and even took on Grigorii as an apprentice to help on the farm. The boy deserved a second chance. Nikolai was filled with grief over losing his father and grandfather. But the sight of Grigorii’s crushed hands pushed him into deciding that he would become a doctor, a surgeon that would help fix Grigorii’s hands and everyone else in the town. He threw himself into his new studies. Nikolai would take multiple books on medicine, anatomy, and biology. Study sessions would last from dusk until dawn with Grigorii helping where he could. Nikolai studied desperately his last few years of school. The studying finally paid off when the Russian functionists sorted him into the medical field, finding his knowledge satisfactory. Nikolai was ecstatic that he was one step closer to helping his village, his friend.

To continue his medical schooling, Nikolai was transferred to a boarding school in England at 15. While he would miss his mother and Grigorii, Nikolai promised to call both of them every week. At the school, he learned more about the medical field than he could imagine. He decided to specialize in plastic surgery, a field that would allow him to reconstruct those suffering from physical trauma. When he took up the scalpel, he found that his skills were superb. He dazzled his classmates and teachers with his speed and precision using a surgical blade. He enjoyed the praise he received for his “perfection” with the blade. However, his perfection wasn’t skin deep, and Nikolai kept his heart condition hidden. He craved the praise from his peers.

While at the school, his skills caught the attention of a visiting doctor employed by Doctors Without Borders. Phillip Masters was an expert in the field of cosmetic surgery. He saw the raw potential in Nikolai’s talent, and wanted to polish it into a gem. Phillip approached Nikolai with the offer of taking him on as an apprentice, without needing to intern at a hospital. Nikolai was skeptical of the offer until Phillip sweetened the deal by agreeing to pay for the surgery that would fix Nikolai’s heart. Nikolai jumped on the offer to be as perfect as he felt. After he recovered from the surgery, Nikolai followed Phillip into Doctors Without Borders. When he told his family, they were ecstatic to hear the news and congratulated Nikolai on his apprenticeship. He flourished under Phillip’s guidance, his skills becoming as fine as his mentor’s. With his growing skills, came an influx of admiration and praise. The flattery started to balloon Nikolai’s confidence. As he got older, Phillip started to take Nikolai out to party with him as celebration for his successes. Nikolai revelled in the celebration. He found himself falling for the better things in life, like fine wine, delectable foods, and fancy clothing. He started wanting these things more and more. He would start to ignore calls from Grigorii and his mother in favor of attending the parties. His old life was becoming a distant memory as he pursued his new fame.

The constant dismissals of his family’s calls started to cause friction between them. Whenever he did answer, he was dismissive and trying to get off as soon as he could. Eventually, it came to a head when Grigorii blew up at Nikolai over the phone, telling him to get off his high horse and just talk with them. Was he embarrassed of them? Was he ashamed he came from a low class town? Nikolai argued that they should be happy for him, and that if they were so mad about his success, then he wouldn’t even bother coming back. He hung up afterwards. Part of him felt guilty, but his anger drowned it out. Perhaps someone overheard their argument, or his attitude was getting on the other doctors’ nerves, but he came back to find “Towards Peace” on his bed. Curious about the banned book, Nikolai decided to take a peek. Nikolai found himself enthralled with the book and agreeing with the author. The world was awful to people who weren’t part of the elite, treating them as less than human. Wanting to keep the book, Nikolai hid it away whenever they traveled.

Doctors Without Borders allowed Nikolai to travel the world without worry. He enjoyed the freedom of movement and being able to experience new cultures. Nikolai continued his tenure with the organization, even after his apprenticeship was done. It was in Slovakia that he’d find a young man who’d make a major impact on his life. In Bratislava, a building under construction partially collapsed. Working with the nearby hospital, Nikolai assisted in triage. He ran into a problem when he had to take care of a very scrawny, very nervous young man named Borek Drobny. The man was delirious and afraid of treatment, trying to run away from the doctor. It wasn’t until Nikolai got Borek cornered in the room that he finally settled down. Nikolai sat with Borek on the floor, calmly talking him through the treatment. Nikolai found the man’s condition alarming. The injuries he suffered weren’t consistent with falling debris, but with a beating. Borek’s fear only confirmed his suspicions.

Over the next few days of treatment, Nikolai slowly got Borek to open up. Borek told him about the accident, and how Cold Constructs were being blamed for the collapse. The natural born workers on the project thought they were incompetant at their jobs and couldn’t follow simple directions. He revealed how his natural born co-workers had been tormenting him, physically and mentally, for years. Nikolai found himself empathizing with the younger man. Nikolai knew what it was like to be ostracized by the people around you, singled out for something out of their control. Nikolai found himself determined to help the younger man. He told Borek to come back to the hospital after he was discharged to meet him. Borek followed his directions, meeting with Nikolai to get food and drink. They talked, getting to know each other, and Nikolai winning over Borek’s trust. It became an almost daily routine to meet after their shifts. When he felt close enough, Nikolai told Borek his plan. The best way to keep the bullies off of Borek’s back was for Borek to become too intimidating for them to pick on. Nikolai brought Borek to a gym that he frequented, surprising the younger man. He was going to help Borek gain muscle to make his co-workers think twice before picking on him. Borek’s excitement made Nikolai wonder if anyone had tried to help him before. The gym became a new addition to their routine. Nikolai enjoyed Borek’s companionship, and even felt confident enough to show “Towards peace” to Borek secretly. He’d read it to the younger man, talking about how cold constructs deserved just as much respect as “natural” people, and that he didn’t need to suffer because he was born into a lower class. Nikolai even suggested that Borek should strike back at the bullies first. Teaching them a lesson that they shouldn’t mess with Borek anymore. Borek didn’t approve of the idea, but he said he would keep it in mind. The two grew close in little over a year. Nikolai couldn’t help but be enamored with the younger man. He was nervous and shy, yet kind with a cute sense of humor. Nikolai found himself excited for their meetings.

One day, Borek missed a meeting. While Nikolai found it odd, he wasn’t worried. After all, he could be busy with construction work. It was when Borek missed the next couple of days that he became concerned. Nikolai searched at Borek’s most recent project site assignment. He spent a good part of the day looking, but couldn’t find any trace of his friend. The most information he got was when an older man tried to pick a fight with him. The man blamed Nikolai for Borek going missing. He said the stupid ideas Nikolai had put in his head had made the young man run away at best, or got him killed at worst. Nikolai left quickly, stunned and wondering if his suggestion had gotten Borek in trouble with the wrong person for trying to stand up for himself. Nikolai spent days looking for Borek, searching the places they would hang out and almost every nook and cranny in Bratislava. There was no trace of the young man, and Nikolai’s search abruptly ended when Phillip came to him. Phillip had gotten a job offer for a government position and was taking it, leaving Doctors without Borders. He found it appropriate to extend the offer to his former student. Nikolai turned the offer down, much to Phillip’s disappointment. Nikolai felt terrible that he couldn’t find Borek. The disappearance had made Nikolai’s ego deflate, and re-think things in his life.

With no sign of where Borek had gone, and Phillip leaving for a better position, Nikolai found no reason to stay with Doctor Without Borders. As much as he wanted to return to Bekovo, Nikolai couldn’t bring himself to contact Grigorii and his mother. He still felt both guilt and anger, and was afraid of how the conversation would go, of what his family would say to him. Instead, Nikolai moved to Moscow and set up a clinic in one of its more poverty-stricken districts. It offered medical help to those in need for small amounts of pay. He advertised about how great his skills were, and how he always left customers satisfied with their care. It was a fulfilling job, being able to help people in his country, but the low payments weren’t enough. Nikolai had a taste of the elite life and he still craved it, but he was barely making enough money to keep the lights on and stock medical supplies. As he struggled with long hours keeping the shop open, he was approached by a man who offered him a good paying job where he could put his medical talent to use. Intrigued and in need of cash, Nikolai agreed to the position.

The next thing he knew, Nikolai was being introduced to Moscow’s underground gladiatorial ring. The owner had sent for someone to get him. A doctor was needed to keep his fighters alive without leaving a trace for the authorities. The Pit master had put a lot of money into his fighters, and didn’t want to lose his most important ones. Nikolai’s boasting and reputation had caught the man’s attention. Seeing a good opportunity, and being threatened with death if he talked, Nikolai agreed to keep his mouth shut in return for a good sum of cash. Work was hard, but Nikolai managed. He’d run the clinic from morning until the evening, and spent his nights patching up the gladiators. He never took much interest in the brutes, they were never around for long, but one man caught his attention: Morgan Trayton. Morgan had a way with words that drew in those around him. Nikolai was intrigued by their talks when he worked on Morgan, so much so that the chatty doctor found himself quieting down to listen.

Over time, Nikolai became something of a personal doctor for Morgan during his tenure at the gladiatorial pits. He was a staunch supporter of Morgan, always betting on the man to win his fights. He agreed with Morgan’s ideals, and assisted him where he could. Nikolai would patch up strangers he brought in. One man in particular he found himself enjoying the company of was Stefan Scavarro. The two were similar in personalities, often clashing, but Nikolai loved to needle the man with good fun.

When Morgan asked Nikolai to install cybernetic implants, Nikolai didn’t ask questions. Afterwards, Morgan’s plan to dismantle the old regime was finally revealed and Nikolai was more than happy to join in. He reveled in the riot, causing trouble for the law. However, he was shocked when in the middle of the chaos he saw Borek fighting for the cause alongside a group of colorful warriors. While he looked significantly different, it was no doubt the young man he had befriended. The two noticed each other, and came to a silent agreement that they’d meet up after the fight to talk things over.

[kueruzu]

I saw your hc post for SE and why not asking about parental based HCs you might have for any SE Character?;;

Parental? I’m gonna assume you mean their relationship with their parents/upbringing?

BET

Upbringing/Parental HC’s!

TW/CW: Neglectful parents, Burn-out, Drinking, Divorce, (Etc?)

PLEASE BE CAUTIOUS! I DONT WANT TO TRIGGER A N Y O N E !

Liz & Patty

Liz & Patty were canonically spoiled rotten before being cast aside but I’ll say what I think the more in depth of their parents were

They had shaky relations with their parents even before being thrown away, specifically Liz. She grew up with little trust in her parents since they always seemed so ‘fake’ to her. But her parents took care of both of them & they’re still her parents so she loved them all the same.

Patty didn’t catch what Liz did while living there. Liz tried to hide her feelings as much as possible so that Patty wouldn’t worry. Those two are so close that Patty couldn’t help but worry though.

Right before they were left for the streets, their parents spoiled them much more than usual. Liz knew something was up but didn’t know exactly what till they were living on the streets.

Liz resents her parents while Patty feels she did something wrong.

When they started living with Kid & began to heal, both vowed to put the past behind them. Lord Death became a somewhat father figure to them. They both love Kid with all their hearts and simply want to thrive like he knows they will.

Death The Kid

This is assuming he had a human upbringing. It’s implied but y’know, prefacing.

Kid is Rich boy ™️.

But because his dad is literally fuckin god, he didn’t see him much. Lord Death stayed at school all day and worked late into night more often than not.

He grew up pretty lonely in the mansion till he hit age 12.

His only saving grace was death scythe visiting to check on him and bringing his daughter. They never really acknowledged each other. Spirit would simply come over with his very angry daughter, she’d sit in a corner and read, and Kid would grab one of his books and find a way to sit besides her.

After they finished their books they’d switch and read the other’s book. Kid immensely enjoyed her. Not only because she was quiet and nice but because her outfits were symmetrical and so was her hair and usual stance.

Neither remember much of it though, they were pretty young. The “playdates” started around age 5 and stopped around 9.

Kid has vague memories and he’s happy about them. Lord Death really wishes he could have been there to see it.

Despite Lord Death working almost constantly, Kid trusts him with everything. He tells him everything the second that godly fellow gets back from the school.

“Father, I read three books!” “Father, Mr. Albarn came to visit during lunch!” “Father, I stubbed my toe earlier but it’s okay now!” Etc, etc.

Lord Death is the same. He tells his like five year old about his day before eating with him and going to bed.

Kid feels like he can go to his father with a lot until he reaches 13 and Lord Death starts hiding more and more stuff from him.

It’s a weird relationship. But they’re gods, you can’t expect normal.

Tsubaki

I don’t have much for her but I think she has like the closest relationship with her parents

They’re the sweetest and most supportive.

Her parents are helicopter parents though. Especially to her brother but to her too. They want them safe and well trained due to lineage but they’re also worried parents. Masamune was weak physically and Tsubaki’s pretty stable but she doesn’t know how to set boundaries.

They were overall pretty great to her at least. She felt bad for the treatment of her brother but she can not say they treated her badly.

After her brother’s death she confronted her parents. They all talked. The death kinda made the family realize how their treatment hurt him. Although it’s much too late.

They’re all coping.

Blackstar

His bio family was murdered as we know.

But Sid practically adopted him and I REFUSE to accept any less than Nygus & Sid co-parenting as best friends.

Nygus is called, “Ma” when he can speak and Sid is called “Dad” and they are proud parents.

BlackStar grew up in a strict/lowkey military household. Granted, he had so much energy that he very much enjoyed it. He was/is super close with Sid & Nygus in the parental aspect.

In the teaching aspect they wanna kill him.

But they understand that it’s because he’s so eager to achieve his goals.

He has a loving adoptive family overall.

He was devastated when Sid died.

But when he was back and settled in his exact words were, “Great. You get taken out and I still can’t skip your class.”

Soul

GOD DAMN I WAS SO EXCITED TO GET TO THIS LITTLE SHIT

THIS LITTLE SHIT HAS GIFTED KID BURN OUT AND A INFERIORITY COMPLEX FROM HIS FAMILY— CAUSE G O O O L L L L L L Y— I KIN THIS B I S H

Soul’s parents pushed him to learn piano really really young, just like his brother with violin. Soul used to get really really excited to learn. Wes would practice with him and they’d do little duets.

As he got older, it was harder to learn songs that were harder & not something he likes. So eventually his parents stopped praising him like before. Instead he was disregarded.

So he immediately started to think he was just horrible at playing. He would choke up when they forced him to perform or he’d cry after a performance. But he just felt inadequate. Especially compared to his brother.

His parents were really strict about music. God forbid this boy had wanted to pursue a career besides music(Oh wait—), they’d disown him.

He moved to the DWMA. So they disowned him.

After the end of the manga, they try contacting him again and he blocks their calls. Wes still sent him stuff throughout his time in the academy and checked up on him so just for Wes’s sake, he and Maka visit home.

It ends with Soul leaving and vowing to never return while holding back Maka from committing a felony.

Maka

YALL DONT UNDERSTAND HOW SAD THIS IS ABOUT TO BE— I AM PROJECTING. I KIN HER SO BAD.

Maka idolizes her mother due to the whole marriage situation.

But that’s a bunch of bullshit. The entire thing. Bullshit. Well, kinda.

Spirit had a womanizing problem along with a drinking problem. When he felt down he’d go out with women or drink his problems away. Or both.

Maka’s mother was not a better parent. She immersed herself in her work to spite Spirit and his bad habits. This however, ended up with her neglecting Maka.

Maka realized her mother wouldn’t pay attention, so before she understood what was going on, she would just wander out to find her father for attention. They took her around the city enough for her to know the damn place. Plus, her mother mutters about those places so much that she knows the names.

So she starts wandering out to look for him, catching him with other women, and seeing him drinking.

Spirit never outright says anything to Maka but he always notices and looses his cool. By the end of the night he’s drunk and being taken home by his daughter in a taxi.

Maka becomes used to overhearing fighting. Her mom is yelling at Spirit for his drinking & womanizing while Spirit is yelling about her neglecting Maka and leaving her alone to wander out the house.

Eventually Spirit’s outings become more frequent and Maka’s mother isn’t gonna give him something to complain about. So she puts Maka to bed early and goes to work, ignoring any complaints from said child.

Eventually the two divorce cause Maka’s mother is tired of Spirit treating her like shit and Spirit is tired of her treating Maka like shit.

Her mother gets full custody and vetos and child support out of spite. But she goes to travel around the world?

Spirit is 🤏 close. Yet Maka’s mad at him!

He wants her happy so he never complains when she’s angry, just accepts and understands. He was never there for her and in a very messed up way her mom did more. So he’s okay. He’s trying his best now. He wants to find a way to get through his problems and be there for her.

This is also why she’s so quick to put herself second or give up.

Thaaaaat’s all folks! I really really really projected with the last two but those are also my major headcanons for those two.

Some were straight from the manga with a bit of my insight and some were completely made from my idea/inference.

I hope this was what was asked/was enjoyed!

[descendantofthesparrow]

Poly sea three x reader - oneshot - Lonely

*as i finished this i realized this has no dialogue...which is kinda cool i’ve never written a no dialogue fic, so enjoy!* ((y/n) is Jack Sparrows kid btw if you couldn't guess from the compass on the moodboard) 

=

After Uma left, her life was harder…harder than it was before. Uma was the rock of the crew, always there, always steady, and ready to command the lot at a moment's notice. The crew saw a polished rock, hard and smooth, shining like the stars in the galaxy.

Only three people in the crew saw the rough edges. Uma only trusted three people to see behind the polished glaze, exposing the rocky terrain within her. On nights where it had just been too much stress at the chip shop, she would retreat to one of three rooms, sometimes even gathering all of them to be in her room so she could just relax with her favorite people.

Her head rested on her first mate's chest, his solid heartbeat and even breathing lulling her to sleep, her body tangled with her war chief, arms wrapped around each other like snakes and thumb gently rubbing her back. Her legs coiled around her second mate, his hands pressed against her calf and thigh, always letting her know he was there.

Uma didn’t know how much she relied on them until she couldn't get back behind the barrier, eyes wide with helplessness as she called out for them on the other side, Harry when he would nab some fish from an unsuspecting fisherman, (y/n) when they sat on the docks, carving whatever they felt like into their dagger, Gil when he was skipping rocks.

They never heard her, and she didn’t try again as she watched them walk around on the deck of her ship.

She missed them, she realized that almost as soon as she hit the water outside the barrier, stopping for a moment to look back, watching as the barrier closed and she was separated from her friends.

Sometimes, she would see things that reminded her of them, the scarlet ribbon of a disregarded dress, a sparrow flying above her, a broken arrowhead at the bottom of the sea.

Uma just wanted to be with them again, her heart ached every night she went on without the sound of Harry's heart, the feeling of (y/n)s hands gently scratching at her back, the feeling of Gil's hands gently massaging her legs. She realized she loved them, all three of them, the longer she was away from them.

She missed them all, so much.

And she hoped that they missed her too.

-

After Uma left, the isle was harder…harder than it was before. Uma was the rock of the crew, always there, always steady, and ready to command the lot of you at a moment's notice. The crew saw a polished rock, hard and smooth, shining like the stars in the galaxy.

Only three people in the crew saw the rough edges. Uma only trusted three people to see behind the polished glaze, exposing the rocky terrain within her. And she saw the inner workings of them behind closed doors, rusty cogs and scratched glass resting before her eyes.

Harry got more…twitchy, after Uma left, his usual controlled rage that used to bubble beneath his skin bursting out more often, scaring the crew sometimes, but never you and Gil. you both knew he’d never hurt either of you, he’d throw himself off the edge of the world before he even thought about doing so.

Harry was just so angry that Uma was gone, stuck on the other side of the barrier, he had no doubt she didn’t abandon any of you but that didn’t stop him from screaming and destroying the training dummies.

He shut himself away from everyone soon after the anger burned out, even Harriet hadn’t been able to convince him to unlock his door. It had taken almost a month for him to let you and Gil inside, and he looked awful, his skin was pale and his nose and cheeks were red, his eyes puffy and dull. The only reason he wasn’t skinny was thanks to you and Gil leaving trays full of food in front of his door at mealtimes, and leaving it there for him to grab it.

During those months of anger and depression, you and Gil took over the crew, you ascended into the role of captain, being the most knowledgeable about the position thanks to your lineage and Gil becoming first mate, all temporary until Harry recovered and Uma returned.

Though once Harry started to slowly return to his “normal” self, he didn’t care to try to take back his role as the first mate or become the captain as his first mate duties proclaimed, that alone told you and Gil and something was still wrong with Harry.

One night you and Gil dragged Harry into Uma’s empty quarters, and just laid in her bed in a tangle of limbs, Gil laying between Harry's legs with his head on Harry’s stomach, while Harry curled up into your chest, hands clutching onto your shirt. That night was one of the few times you saw Harry cry, choked sobs ripping from his throat as he attempted to muffle them in your neck.

You and Gil let your feelings out that night as well, assuring Harry that he wasn’t alone in missing Uma, you all did. So.damn.much.

Harry had always been in love with Uma, never afraid to show it, but that night you and Gil finally proclaimed the same after years of hiding your feelings in fear they would be used against you. And you loved each other too, it was hard to deny, not after revealing your feelings for Uma.

You all vowed that when Uma returned you would shower her in the love that you had all been deprived of for many years.

It was over a year later before you saw her again, Gil and Harry had jumped out of the barrier behind Mal and her goons plus Celia, Harry knocking the blue gem out of Mal's hand.

Your breath escaped you when a turquoise tentacle caught it, and Uma, looking more beautiful than you remembered, emerged from the water, dressed in an altered version of her turquoise cotillion dress, the sweetheart neckline showing off her glowing shell necklace.

Uma and your boys reunited, but she didn’t look at you, probably because you were back behind the tunnel and she couldn’t see you through the barrier and the darkness of the tunnel. But that was fine, you could wait just a bit longer before you looked her in the eyes again.

You would wait a thousand years for her.

But you wouldn’t have to wait that long, the next morning you awoke to the crew loudly celebrating, cheers and chaos echoing through the halls of the ship from the main deck.

You slipped out of bed, quickly changing into your gear and racing up to the main deck, unable to keep the smile of your lips as you saw Uma, who continued to glow with an echo of her magic, being lifted by the crew, all cheering and celebrating her return.

Her eyes locked onto yours, and as the crew set her down on her feet, you walked toward her, taking off your tri-corn hat and kneeling in front of her. You said her name like a prayer to the gods, a whisper on your lips. Uma shivered at the tone, feeling something wash over her at your worship.

As she looked around at the crew, Harry and Gil standing only a few inches from her, not wanting to be far from her, she realized that while Auradon had everything one could want, riches, good food, magic.

It was nothing compared to the warmth she felt surrounded by her crew and the three people she loved with all her soul.

Uma grabbed your face as you stood up, biting back a smile at your confused look, and pressed a kiss to your lips, the crew around them exploding into cheers.

Uma pulled back from you, smirking at your dazed look as she spun around and grabbed Harry's jacket, pulling him down to her height for a kiss, laughing into it as he slumped into her and groaned. She pulled away one last time and turned to Gil, grinning at his ‘excited puppy’ look, and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, smiling as he picked her up by her waist to give her better access.

The crew celebrated and cheered, Bonnie handing Desiree a wad of cash when you and Harry kissed as Gil set Uma down and pulled the four of you into a hug, Uma pressing a kiss to his cheek as he did.

All was well again.

Uma wasn’t lonely anymore.

-end-

lowkey kinda proud of this one hehe, tell me what yall thought! this was originally going to be a under the sea kinda fic but it turned into them all missing Uma and Uma missing them and then they all reunited and kiss and just asaoishdahsda i couldn't help but do the fluff at the end 

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[todomitoukei]

Japanese vs. English Todoroki - A 301 Comparison

Finally, for the first time since this manga has begun - and it only took 300 chapters to get here - we get an entire chapter that is solely about the Todoroki family! As I read through the chapter and started to type down the Japanese text, I asked myself which scenes I should translate. And so here we are with me having translated every single line. With that, this is a long post. Long. You have been warned. So let’s get right into it:

The chapter starts out with a flashback to Endeavor speaking with Rei’s father to get his approval to marry Rei:

「次期No.1の呼び声高いエンデヴァー様からお声掛けいただけるとは夢にも思いませんでした！僥倖の極みにございます！！」

「次期 ; jiki 」-> next term

「No.1 ; nanbaa wan 」-> number one

「呼び声高い ; yobigoe takai 」-> being widely talked about as a prominent prospect (for)

「エンデヴァー様 ; endevaa sama 」-> Endeavor-Sama

「から ; kara 」-> from

「お声掛け ; okoegake 」-> greeting; approaching (someone)

「いただける ; itadakeru 」-> receive (potential form)

「とは ; to wa」-> adds emphasis to the prior word/phrase

「夢にも思いませんでした ; yume ni mo omoimasen deshita 」-> I never dreamed that; not in one’s wildest dreams

「僥倖 ; gyoukou 」-> good fortune

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「極み ; kiwami 」-> height; extremity

「に ; ni 」-> at

「ございます ; gozaimasu 」-> to be

= “I never dreamed that we would receive greetings from Endeavor-Sama, who is widely talked about as a prominent prospect for the next term’s Number One position. We are at the height of good fortune!!”

It’s kinda sad if the height of your good fortune is meeting Endeavor. I also wonder how he reached out to them? “Hi, I need a wife with an ice quirk, do you have one?” How did he even search them? Is there some kind of registry that tells you which family has which quirk? 

Anyway, we then learn a little about Rei’s family:

「氷叢もかつては名家と呼ばれた由緒ある家柄にございます故―

トップヒーロー様の伴侶としましては充分に釣り合いがとれるものと。。。」

「氷叢 ; himura 」-> Himura

「も ; mo 」-> also

「かつて ; katsute 」-> once; before; formerly

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「名家 ; meika 」-> noble family; distinguished family

「と呼ばれた ; to yobareta 」-> was called

「由緒ある ; yuisho aru 」-> prestigious; with a long history

「家柄 ; iegara」-> social standing of a family; lineage

「に ; ni 」-> from

「ございます ; gozaimasu 」-> to be

「故 ; yue 」-> reason; cause; circumstances

「トップヒーロー様 ; toppu hiro sama 」-> Top Hero-Sama

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「伴侶 ; hanryo 」-> spouse

「としまして ; to shimashite 」-> to take as

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「充分に ; juubun ni 」-> sufficient; enough (the ni turns this word into an adverb)

「釣り合い ; tsuriai 」-> balance

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「とれる ; toreru 」-> to be attained (of balance)

「ものと ; mono to 」-> shall; to assume; understood as

= “The Himura family was also once called a noble family. It’s a lineage with a long history - so to take her as a top hero’s spouse shall be a sufficiently attained balance.”

Something I would like to note here is something that is difficult to properly translate, which is the politeness level. There are a lot of different politeness levels to show the different social ranks. We don’t know how Rei’s father normally speaks, but he probably talks politely here to show respect to a top hero, which also makes this seem more like a business deal rather than a familiar conversation with your future father-in-law.

Anyway, we then get a little bit of narration from Endeavor:

「氷のような女だった」

「氷 ; koori 」-> ice

「のような ; no you na 」-> similar to; like

「女 ; onna 」-> woman

「だった ; datta 」-> was

= “She was a woman like ice.”

Ah, the classic “this woman doesn’t immediately worship me so she has no feelings” attitude. Not that I can say that I’m surprised he’d say something like that. And look at her. She looks so unhappy! Why are there people reading this chapter and claiming that this wasn’t a forced marriage when she looks like that? She clearly didn’t truly want this herself. This is also confirmed in the next line:

「“個性婚”である事も承知の上で。。。。。。家の為に俺の妻になると言う。」

「個性婚 ; koseikon 」-> quirk marriage

「である ; de aru 」-> is; be

「事 ; de aru koto 」-> nominalizes the preceding phrase

「も ; mo 」-> also

「承知の上で ; shouchi no ue de 」-> being aware of; taking something into account

「家 ; ie 」-> family

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「為に ; tame ni」-> for the sake of

「俺 ; ore 」-> I 

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「妻 ; tsuma 」-> wife

「になる ; ni naru 」-> to become

「と言う ; to iu」-> to say

= “She is also aware that this is a quirk marriage... she says she will become my wife for the sake of her family.”

De aru is a formal way used to express that someone is explaining something and makes it a neutral, official-sounding statement.

It’s not entirely clear to me how she knows that this is a quirk marriage, though. Did Endeavor just tell her? Did he tell her father? Does she just know?

It still leaves me baffled how some people read this sentence and came to the conclusion that it wasn’t a forced marriage just because she agreed to it. I’m actually kind of sensing a pattern here: first, we learn that Rei agreed to have more children, so people claimed she wanted to have all these kids with him. Now, she apparently wanted to marry him out of her own will. I cannot stress this enough, but please please understand that if you do something “for the sake of your family” or generally for the sake of someone else, it doesn’t mean you actually want it yourself. If you live your life basing your decisions on what makes the people around you happy, you will not be happy. It’s one thing to be selfless, but another to never live for your own sake.

The only reason Endeavor decided to have a wife, specifically Rei, was for his own selfish goals. And the only reason Rei agreed, despite knowing she was being heavily objectified and reduced to her quirk here, was to please her family. However, this in no way indicates what her true feelings are. 

「。。。花が好きか」

「花 ; hana 」-> flowers

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「好き ; suki 」-> to like

「か ; ka 」-> question marker particle

= “... Do you like the flowers?”

A pretty straight-forward sentence.

「はい。とても綺麗。 」

「はい ; hai 」-> yes

「とても ; totemo 」-> very

「綺麗 ; kirei 」-> pretty; beautiful; lovely

= “Yes. They’re very pretty.”

Can I just say that she looks so sad here? There is something very lonely about her expression and the way she looks at these flowers. I’ve mentioned it before in another post, but the flowers Rei likes so much are Rindou, and the meaning of them is “I love you who is sad”, “justice”, or “sincere; faithful” - this would probably be more something to talk about in a separate meta on Rei, but I think maybe she identifies with those flowers in a way? She doesn’t seem happy - and granted, who would be in her situation? Maybe her whole life has been sort of dictated by her family and about pleasing them instead of ever being truly happy. These flowers are a common theme in terms of their relationship, so it’s likely that here, she is the one who is sad and maybe she just wants to be loved despite knowing this marriage isn’t based on love. She might still be hopeful that it will turn into love eventually and for now, she just enjoys the thought that someone might love someone as sad and unhappy as her.

「強く。。。しかし触れれば溶けて消えてしまいそうな。。。」

「強く ; tsuyoku 」-> strong

「しかし ; shikashi 」-> however

「触れれば ; furereba 」-> to touch; to come in contact with (conditional form)

「溶けて ; tokete 」-> to melt

「消えて ; kiete 」-> ; to vanish

「しまい ; shimai 」-> to do something completely

「そうな ; souna 」-> it seems

= “Strong… however, she seems like she would completely melt and vanish if I touched her.”

Then… don’t. Anyway, as mentioned in other posts, a verb + shimau means either that something that was done was regrettable or that it was done completely. Shimai is the polite version of this same concept. Back to the present:

「冷。。。！おまえ。。。大丈夫。。。なのか」

「冷 ; rei 」-> Rei

「おまえ ; omae 」-> you

「大丈夫 ; daijoubu 」-> alright

「なのか ; nanoka 」-> question marker particle seeking an explanation

= “Rei…! You… are you alright?”

The no itself is already a question marker, but men often add ka to it to make it more ~manly~

「大丈夫じゃないよ」

「大丈夫 ; daijoubu 」-> alright

「じゃない」-> am not

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “I’m not alright!”

I’m not sure what kind of answer he expected, to be honest, but I think we can all appreciate Rei here. The official translation did a good job capturing that emphasis of yo by having her say “Okay? No, I’m not.” which bolds her statement a little more.

「だから来たの」

「だから ; dakara 」-> that’s why

「来た ; kita 」-> came; arrived

「の ; no 」-> explanatory particle

= “That’s why I came.”

Other people have already pointed out how this line is similar to All Might’s catchphrase, which is 「私が来た」 - watashi ga kita. Obviously, she doesn’t say that exact line - although that would have been absolutely hilarious to see, just imagine you see your wife after ten years of her being in a mental hospital because of you and your obsession with your rival only for her to quote your rival’s catchphrase at you? Iconic! Anyway, it still has that same feeling to it.

Another thing worth noting is how much her expression here differs from the earlier flashbacks. 

The panel of her looking at the flowers is a high-angle shot, which is used to make the subject seem inferior and looked down on. Additionally, that shot is from Endeavor’s POV, which is to give us a sense to show us how he viewed her - inferior. He is the hero and he is the one planning on using her to gain more power for himself. He made the decision to get a wife and thus initiated this whole relationship.

In this panel, though, we look at her with an eye-level shot. This is a neutral perspective, so it’s neither a superior or inferior situation, but there is still a specific atmosphere being created, usually done to make the viewer connect with the character and sort of having the character’s emotions be projected onto the viewer, especially in uncomfortable scenarios. To intensify this, we are staring directly at her. In the flashback, she is also turned to the side, so we don’t see her full face. Instead, she is avoiding eye contact and instead, is looking down at the flowers. Showing a character from the side creates a distance and makes it less clear what the character truly thinks.

But here, she is fully facing the viewers and staring directly at us. As mentioned before, this angle is meant to make you feel what the characters feel, especially when there’s an uncomfortable atmosphere. So here, when she says “That’s why I came” it’s supposed to make you uncomfortable. The “I am not alright” isn’t because her supposedly dead son turned out to be alive and a villain - she is not alright because of all the pain each of them endured for the past decade because of Endeavor. She lost ten years of her life, precious time with her kids, missed seeing them grow up, because of him. She wasn’t able to be there for them because of him. So no, she is not alright. But now she is out. And now she can finally regain some power. Power she never had in this relationship and possibly never had in her whole life. But now she is here. She is here because she feels guilty for what happened to her son, but she isn’t going to just give up. She is holding herself accountable, but she is making sure Endeavor knows he is the culprit. He is supposed to be uncomfortable and so should you (to understand that Endeavor is not the victim here) and anyone who sees that panel and thinks she is being supportive of him here? She isn’t.

I’ve seen a lot of people either claim that she is supporting Endeavor here or people say that she is being too soft on him here. While I don’t really see how this could possibly be her supporting him, I definitely do agree that Horikoshi seems to avoid wanting anyone directly pointing a finger at Endeavor, which is odd considering throughout the whole story everyone in the Todoroki family has always only ever blamed Endeavor. Dabi made it very clear in his broadcast that he wants to destroy Endeavor, Shouto always blamed Endeavor for his scar and for Rei being in the mental hospital, Natsuo can’t even have one dinner with Endeavor because he has always been neglected by him and because he blames Endeavor for what happened with Touya - rightfully so, by the way, Touya being alive doesn’t exactly change that Endeavor destroyed Touya. And given how Horikoshi writes female characters in general, it’s not really surprising that the only ones who don’t actively speak out against and blame Endeavor are the women of the family.

But while I do think that Horikoshi is toning down on that here and I don’t wanna give him too much credit, we should also keep in mind that this is the first time in ten years that Rei talks to him. Just a few months prior, when Fuyumi and Natsuo visited her, she said that she was still afraid to see him. I think it’s actually more realistic that she isn’t yelling at him or anything like that, yet is still able to at least put him in his place and remind him that this isn’t about him.

And that’s the other reason why I think it makes sense she reacts the way she does. It’s not about him, but this is also not about her. The last line of chapter 300 was saying “I’m here to talk about our family and Touya.” This isn’t about any of them individually except for Touya (more on that later). So if she gave an entire speech here about how much pain Endeavor has caused her and how he took ten years of her life away, this simply isn’t the time. Instead, she is prioritizing Touya.

Could she be a bit more clear that Endeavor is the culprit who caused them all a lot of pain and trauma? Yes, apparently she needs to say this more clearly considering how many people absolutely fail to interpret this correctly by claiming they are a happy family. But it’s not the most unrealistic way to write her here, either.

But let’s move on to Dabi and where the main criticism for the official translation comes in:

「だいぶ焼けたな。。。」

「だいぶ ; daibu 」-> considerably; greatly; a lot

「焼けた ; yaketa 」-> burned

「な ; na 」-> sentence ending particle; usually used to seek confirmation

= “Burned a lot, huh…”

Someone recently pointed out to me that Dabi’s staples might actually just be there for him to check how much his scars are spreading. And that really does seem to be the case now as he has simply moved them to the new edges of the scars. The new burns aren’t yet as intense as the rest, so I guess those aren’t skin grafts that need to be held in place, after all, but just his skin heavily burned?

As mentioned above, na gets used at the end of a statement to seek confirmation, however, it can also be used in a more rhetorical sense to make a sentence less assertive in order to simply introduce a topic in a more casual and less abrupt way.

「何も感じねぇ」

「何も ; nanimo 」-> (not) anything

「感じねぇ ; kanjinee 」-> not feeling

= “I don’t feel anything.”

The normal negation of kanjiru (to feel) is kanjinai. Changing the nai into nee is a more casual form, but it can also be used instead of nai to add more emotion/feeling to what is being said, which is kinda ironic in a sentence talking about his inability to feel anything.

Dabi generally uses both forms (nai and nee) for negation so it’s hard to say if this is just him negating a word or if this form gets used to put more emotion to it, though it’s probably a mixture of both considering he is just lying there and reflecting on the situation.

More importantly, this sentence reminded me of what he said to Shouto in chapter 292 「そうだよ焦凍。兄ちゃん何も感じなくなっちまった。」- “That’s right, Shouto. Nii-Chan has completely stopped feeling anything.”

While the line from chapter 292 is referring to his mental state, he is now talking about his physical state. So basically, Dabi is completely numb - both physically and mentally. Fun times!

「あいつは俺の親父だ。あの程度で死ねるようなタマじゃねえ。例え死にたくても立場がそれを許さない。」

「あいつ ; aitsu 」-> he; that guy

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「俺 ; ore 」-> I 

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「親父 ; oyaji 」-> dad

「だ ; da 」-> be

「あの ; ano 」-> that

「程度 ; teido 」-> degree; amount

「で ; de 」-> by; of

「死ねる ; shineru 」-> to die (potential form)

「ような ; youna 」-> like; similar to

「タマ ; tama 」-> person (when commenting on their nature); character

「じゃねえ ; janee」-> isn’t

「例え死にたくても」-> even if you want to die (例え...ても + 死にたく)

「立場 ; tachiba 」-> position; situation

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「それ ; sore 」-> that

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「許さない ; yurusanai 」-> doesn’t allow

= “That guy is my dad. He isn’t the kind of person to die from something of that degree. Even if he wanted to die, the situation doesn’t allow that.”

A few things to note here:

First of all, and I know this is a big shocker to us all, and it does pain me to say, but he does not say “adios” here. He really just says “want to die” and, although this is such an unimportant change it’s just really annoying to constantly see him being translated in such a weird way. Even minor changes like this one just make him sound strange. Dabi is someone who chooses his words carefully, so it really does alter people’s perception of him when he suddenly starts speaking like that. Does anyone actually talk like that?

“He isn’t the person to die from something of that degree” - Here, Dabi uses “tama” which is usually written in Kanji, but is written in Katakana here for emphasis. More importantly, though, this is a derogatory term.

Anyway, that sentence follows after the obvious statement of “That guy is my dad” - which isn’t new information to us, but this is the reason why he concludes that Endeavor hasn’t died without actually having that confirmed. He is able to tell how much damage Endeavor can take, possibly also stating here that as long as Dabi himself doesn’t die from his attack, Endeavor also wouldn’t have died. So much for his self-confidence! The “dear old dad” in the official translation yet again sounds a bit odd. It might be used to make a more clear distinction between otousan and oyaji, but much like boku and ore (male pronouns), you don’t really need to make a distinction in English because it’s just something unique to Japanese, and trying to translate it results in something like “dear old dad” which just makes the character sound weird because no one says that in English.

“The situation doesn’t allow it” - while the fan translation went for “I won’t allow it” the official translation went for “His position won’t allow it” - all of which are different statements. It’s hard to determine which of these is correct since there isn’t a pronoun used here. The reason I went for “the situation” is because it seems like he is referring to the current state the country is in. We’ve already been shown how much damage has done and the “I am not here” statue shown in the previous chapter is a good summary of that. Although it’s unlikely that Endeavor could do much to make things go back to how they used to be before the reveal, the country is still waiting for his statement, which will further impact the situation. If he died now, it would probably be the end for heroes, whereas him being alive and trying to somehow save the country could bring a little hope back to the people. So basically, the future depends on him (not really, but that’s the general idea here).

「そろそろ表に出てくる頃合いだ。」

「そろそろ ; sorosoro」-> gradually; soon

「表 ; omote 」-> surface

「に ; ni 」-> to

「出てくる ; detekuru 」-> to come out; to appear

「頃合い ; koroai 」-> suitable time; good time

「だ ; da 」-> be

= “Soon it’s a good time to come to the surface.”

Much like the rest of the country, Dabi is clearly also awaiting Endeavor’s statement to the public so he can plan his next move.

Something to note here is that these two panels use the thinking speech bubbles, so we have two different kinds of internal monologues from Dabi in this scene: interior monologue and soliloquy. Soliloquy refers to a speech given to oneself out loud, which is why this is commonly found in plays in order to show what a character is thinking since you can’t make the audience hear the character’s thoughts otherwise. 

An interior monologue gives us readers immediate access to a character’s unfiltered thoughts. Since we don’t exactly control our thoughts, we often jump from one thought to another without explaining how we got there. So when Dabi thinks “That guy is my dad.” followed by “He isn’t the kind of person to die from something of that degree.” - he doesn’t have to go into an elaborate explanation as to why the second sentence is the conclusion of his first statement because he just knows.

A soliloquy isn’t too different as the character is still their own audience. However, this style is often used to amplify a character’s thoughts, in a way signaling that they can’t keep their thoughts inside anymore so instead they just come out of the character’s mouth. Using these two styles here emphasizes the soliloquy even further. While his interior monologue is a reflection of what happened and tells us that Dabi already knew he wasn’t going to kill Endeavor back then, the soliloquy part focuses more on his actual feelings. This last part of his interior monologue, where he concludes that Endeavor will have to face the public soon, serves as a trigger of his following excitement, highlighting his obsession with making his dreams of ruining Endeavor come true.

「早く惨めな面が見てぇ楽しみだ。ここまで長かった。」

「早く ; hayaku 」-> soon; quick (adverb)

「惨めな ; mijime na 」-> miserable

「面 ; men 」-> face; mask

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「見てぇ ; mitee 」-> to see

「楽しみ ; tanoshimi 」-> anticipation; looking forward to

「だ ; da 」-> be

「ここまで ; koko made 」-> so far

「長かった ; nagakatta 」-> was long (time)

= “I’m looking forward to seeing your miserable face soon. It’s been a long time so far.”

Here we have another case of the official English translation making him talk in ways no one talks. Aside from the “pathetic mug” part, Dabi doesn’t say “damn” - considering swear words aren’t really a thing in Japanese anyway. But he’s also generally not really talking in a rude way here, it’s just a pretty straight-forward sentence. To be honest, I think the reason why certain characters (i.e. Dabi) get written like that™ is to add character and distinguish them from less casual-speaking characters? To show that this is a character that’s a bit on the rougher side? Even so, he doesn’t actually talk like that, and trying to make him sound rough in every single sentence is a bit of an overkill. I get that he’s dramatic, but that still doesn’t mean that he speaks like he never read a normal book.

To quickly bring up the soliloquy again: You can see with this sentence that this is far more subjective. “Soon it’s a good time to come to the surface” was somewhat objective as the whole country awaits Endeavor’s public statement to this situation. But “I’m looking forward to seeing your miserable face soon. It’s been a long time so far” is subjective. The public might not necessarily care about a hero being exposed. But Dabi cares because to him, this whole reveal is personal (obviously). This plan has been in the making for around ten years, whereas the rest of the country was unaware of the truth about Endeavor up until a few days ago.

「轟炎司。お母さん。冬美ちゃん。夏くん。。。。。。焦凍。」

「轟炎司 ; todoroki enji 」-> Enji Todoroki 

「お母さん ; okaasan 」-> mom

「冬美ちゃん ; fuyumi chan」-> Fuyumi-Chan

「夏くん ; natsu kun」-> Natsu-Kun

「焦凍 ; shouto 」-> Shouto

= “Enji Todoroki. Mom. Fuyumi-Chan. Natsu-Kun….. Shouto.”

While we can’t exactly blame the official translation for not including these suffixes, the distinction with Shouto doesn’t really show in the translation at all. Endeavor is an obvious one in either version - addressing your parent by full name indicates a distance as this shows no signs of familiarity. Much like his other siblings (I will talk about this at some point in a separate post) he calls his mom okaasan, a pretty normal way to say mom. As the older sibling, he wouldn’t have to use a suffix for any of his siblings, but this can - especially in a case like this - show familiarity. Aside from the many many dots representing a small pause he makes before even naming Shouto almost like he initially forgot about him, Shouto is also the only one only being called by name without a suffix, so the distinction becomes far more pronounced. It’s obvious that Touya, Fuyumi, and Natsuo grew up together and spent a lot of time together, thus he still uses these suffixes. But Shouto is just… Shouto. There is no relationship between them and the many dots just show this distance between the two.

「俺を見てくれ地獄の底で。」

「俺 ; ore 」-> I 

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「見てくれ ; mitekure 」-> please look at me

「地獄 ; jigoku 」-> hell

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「底 ; soko 」-> bottom

「で ; de 」-> in

= “Please look at me in the depths of hell.”

The kure at the end of mitekure gets used when asking a favor from someone.

The official translation yet again sounds a bit weirder with the “Take a real good look at me” when kure is more of a “Please look at me” which sounds less assertive. Anyway, Dabi is clearly trying to state that his life is hell and now they get to see it, too. At the end of the chapter, Rei says that she and Endeavor both didn’t look at him before and there are several times during the flashback where Touya says “look at me!” which is all a summary of where this whole thing went wrong: Touya was in pain, and he made it known that he needed help and that he wasn’t okay, but both his parents ignored that. And so now his broadcast forces them to look at him. Forces them to look at what happened as a result of them ignoring his pain before. It’s not just to show the civilians how their heroes aren’t all that heroic, but more importantly, it’s so that someone can see his pain. He’s not giving them a choice, either. Though people - both in bnha society and in the fandom - write Dabi off as annoying or continue to refuse to see him as a victim, it really doesn’t matter because what he has accomplished is making people experience his pain. He is damaging society just how society has damaged him. Just how his father said “you’re not good enough” it’s now Dabi’s turn to say the same thing to him and society.

Dabi is already in the depths of hell, yet so far his family didn’t know that. But now they do and now they have to face the facts.

「せっかく休みなんだから“個性”訓練付き合ってよ！！何で急にダメとか言うんだよ！！」

「せっかく ; sekkaku 」-> after all the effort

「休み ; yasumi 」-> rest; holiday

「なんだから ; nandakara 」-> so

「“個性” ; kosei 」-> quirk

「訓練 ; kunren 」-> training

「付き合って ; tsukiatte 」-> to go along with; to follow someone’s lead

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

「何で ; nande 」-> why

「急に ; kyuu ni 」-> suddenly

「ダメ ; dame 」-> no good

「とか ; toka 」-> and so on; such as

「言う ; iu 」-> to say; to mean

「んだ ; nda 」-> used for emphasis when information has been shared

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “You have a day off, so come do quirk training with me after all that effort!! Why do you suddenly say things like it’s no good!!”

Sekkaku doesn’t have a direct translation, but here it emphasizes that an opportunity has come up (Endeavor having a day off), which would be a shame to waste by not spending it with training. The nanda in nandakara is a preliminary remark, which can be used to get the listener’s attention to the conclusion that follows after. Again, these are nuances that you can’t necessarily translate. But at least little Touya talks more like a normal person than Dabi.

「何度も言ったろう。おまえの為なんだ。」

「何度も ; nando mo 」-> many times over; often

「言ったろう ; ittarou 」-> told; said

「おまえ ; omae 」-> you

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「為 ; tame 」-> advantage; benefit

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

= “I’ve told you many times. It’s for your benefit.”

The tarou ending in ittarou is used to add an accusatory tone to the phrase, so it shows somewhat of an impatience/annoyance here. Imagine being Touya. You always look forward to your training days with your incredible dad. And suddenly, he keeps canceling on you and just says “it’s for your own good” - kids aren’t stupid, and they know when they are treated as though they were. So it’s obviously frustrating that his dad just gives him weak excuses instead of being honest with him. And it’s not like Endeavor is seeking an actual way to help Touya. All he does is go to the doctor, gets told that Touya’s body and quirk don’t match, and then his solution is to stop training him. It’s one thing to be a concerned parent and keep your child away from harm, but it’s more important to think about how you keep them from harm and whether or not you ensure that they know that failing doesn’t mean that they are a failure. Problem is, Endeavor can’t tell him he’s not a failure since Touya is a failed project so he does, in fact, see him as a failure.

If you take a quick look at Touya, you can see his hair is only now starting to get a few white spots. It’s difficult to determine the exact timeline of things, but it’s obvious that this takes place only shortly after his hair first started turning white, which means that Endeavor went to the doctor pretty quickly. And yes, he says this is for Touya’s sake but remind me again why Touya is born? Oh right, for Endeavor’s sake! Anyway, moving on to the doctor’s office:

「珍しい例ですね。。。炎の個性因子はより色濃く引き継がれているのですが。肉体はお母さんの方を強く引き継いでしまってるんです」

「珍しい ; mezurashii 」-> rare

「例 ; rei 」-> instance; case

「です ; desu 」-> to be

「ね ; ne 」-> sentence ending particle; used to seek confirmation

「炎 ; honou 」-> flame

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「個性 ; kosei 」-> quirk

「因子 ; inshi 」-> factor

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「より ; yori 」-> than

「色濃く ; irokoku 」-> strongly tending to

「引き継がれている ; hikitsugareteiru 」-> inheriting (present progressive passive form)

「のです ; no desu 」-> explanatory particle

「が ; ga 」-> but

「肉体 ; nikutai 」-> the body; the flesh

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「お母さん ; okaasan 」-> mom

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「方 ; hou 」-> type

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「強く ; tsuyoku 」-> strong (adverb)

「引き継いでしまってるん ; hikitsuide shimatterun 」-> completely inheriting

「です ; desu 」-> to be

= “A rare case, isn’t it? The flame quirk factor is more strongly inherited, but the body is strongly and completely inherited from the mother’s type.”

In the last part, we once again have the verb + shimau constellation, which always either indicates that something happened regrettable or completely. In a way, both meanings apply here since Touya’s body fully takes after Rei’s constitution, but this is also obviously regrettable since it’s a waste of his strong fire quirk. In the official translation, he just says “he takes after his mother physically” which doesn’t really carry either nuance.

「つまり。。。炎への体制よりも氷結。。。寒さに適性のある身体なんです。」

「つまり ; tsumari 」-> that is to say; in other words

「炎 ; honou 」-> flame

「への ; e no 」-> particle that describes the word that follows using the direction towards the word that comes before

「体制 ; taisei 」-> order ; system

「���りも ; yorimo 」-> in comparison to; rather than

「氷結 ; hyouketsu 」-> freezing; freezing over

「寒さ ; samusa 」-> coldness

「に ; ni 」-> for (purpose)

「適性 ; tekisei 」-> aptitude; suitability

「のある ; no aru 」-> there is

「身体 ; karada 」-> body

「なんです ; nandesu 」-> explanatory particle

= “In other words, it’s a body with an aptitude for the cold rather than being a system to the flames.”

Considering all the support items the heroes have, I feel like they could have found a solution to this. Dabi’s current coat helps cool him down, so why did Endeavor not think of something like that?

「まア。。。デザインじみたことはね。。。この“個性”時代禁忌なんで。。。やめといた方が。。。 」

��まア ; maa 」-> well

「デザイン ; dezain 」-> design

「じみた ; jimita 」-> like

「こと ; koto 」-> thing

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「ね ; ne 」-> sentence ending particle; used to seek confirmation

「この ; kono 」-> this

「“個性” ; kosei 」-> quirk

「時代 ; jidai 」-> period

「禁忌 ; kinki 」-> taboo

「なんで ; nande 」-> because

「やめ ; yame 」-> to stop

「といた ; to ita」-> to do something in advance (contraction of te oita)

「方が ; hou ga 」-> should; it’d be better to (used to give advice)

= “Well… design-like things, huh… because this taboo of the “quirk” period… It’d be better to stop in advance.”

I feel like a normal doctor should maybe inform someone that this Top Hero is having a little eugenics project on the side. Maybe also call Child Protective Services. But since we’re all assuming this doctor is Dr. Ujiko, it’s not exactly surprising that he left it at “giving advice” which he is just as good at as Endeavor. Those two would truly get along well.

「なんと今日は６２もの市町村を救いました！オールマイトがいる限り我々が悪に屈する事は決してないでしょう！！」

「なんと ; nanto 」-> what…!; surprisingly; believe it or not

「今日 ; kyou 」-> today

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「６２ ; 62 」-> 62 

「も ; mo 」-> emphasizes the number

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「市町村 ; shichouson 」-> cities, towns and villages

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「救いました ; sukuimashita 」-> saved

「オールマイト ; oorumaito 」-> All Might

「がいる ; ga iru 」-> there is

「限り ; kiri 」-> as long as

「我々 ; wareware 」-> we

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「悪 ; aku 」-> evil

「に ; ni 」-> to

「屈する ; kussuru 」-> to yield; to give in

「事 ; koto」-> nominalizes the verb it attaches to

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「決してない ; kesshitenai 」-> never; by no means

「でしょう ; deshou 」-> used to express certainty

= “What! Today, 62 cities, towns, and villages were saved! We will certainly never give in to evil as long as All Might is there!”

The mo after the 62 implies that 62 is a large number and granted, that is a lot of places to save in one day. 

「燈矢。おまえならオールマイトを超えられる。」

「燈矢 ; touya 」-> Touya

「おまえ ; omae 」-> you

「なら ; nara 」-> on the topic of; if

「オールマイト ; oorumaito 」-> All Might

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「超えられる ; koerareru 」-> to surpass (potential)

= “Touya. You can surpass All Might.”

Let’s move on to some sibling interaction, though:

「冬美ちゃん。ちょっと火傷するくらいなのにさ！全然がまんできるのにさ！」

「冬美ちゃん ; fuyumi chan」-> Fuyumi

「ちょっと ; chotto 」-> a little

「火傷する ; yakedo suru」-> to burn

「くらい ; kurai 」-> used to describe a state, situation

「なのに ; nanoni 」-> even though; although

「さ ; sa 」-> emphasis particle

「全然 ; zen zen 」-> entirely; completely

「がまん ; gaman 」-> bearing (something)

「できる ; dekiru 」-> be able to

「のに ; noni 」-> used when complaining to someone

「さ ; sa 」-> emphasis particle; also used to let out emotions

= “Fuyumi-Chan. I only burn a little! I am able to endure it!”

Noni is something that roughly translates to even though, and usually gets followed with a second part of the phrase, but that follow-up part can be left out when you can understand it from context. So in that first part, he’s basically saying “Even though I got burned a little, I can still do this so he shouldn’t stop training me!” The second noni is used as a way to complain about the situation (= “Even though I am completely able to endure it, I get treated like I’m weak.”)

「俺の身体のことは俺が一番よくわかってるんだ。」

「俺 ; ore 」-> I 

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「身体 ; karada 」-> body

「のことは」-> nominalizes the preceding phrase

「俺 ; ore 」-> I 

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「一番 ; ichiban 」-> the most

「よく ; yoku 」-> good (adverb)

「わかってるん ; wakatterun 」-> to understand; to know

「だ ; da 」-> be

= “I am the one that knows my body the best.”

We don’t know how fast his hair color was changing, but this is probably a few months after his hair first began to turn white. So at this point, Endeavor already knows that Touya’s body and quirk aren’t compatible yet still hasn’t bothered to come up with a solution. Instead, Touya keeps training. It’s odd that no one seems to try and properly stop him and make him understand that training isn’t good for him.

「でも冬美も燈矢兄ボロボロなの心配嫌っ。」

「でも ; demo 」-> but

「冬美 ; fuyumi」-> Fuyumi

「も ; mo 」-> also

「燈矢兄 ; touya-nii 」-> Touya-Nii

「ボロボロ ; boroboro 」-> worn-out (physically); tattered

「なの ; nano 」-> this particle functions as a substitute for a noun (= his body)

「心配 ; shinpai 」-> worry

「嫌っ ; yaa 」-> casual no

= “But Fuyumi also doesn’t [want to] worry about Touya-Nii [being] tattered.”

Me too, Fuyumi, me too.

「冬美ちゃんにはわかんねーよ！女の子にはわかんねンだ！」

「冬美ちゃん ; fuyumi chan」-> Fuyumi-Chan

「には ; niwa 」-> as for

「わかんねー」-> doesn’t understand

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

「女の子」->

「には ; niwa 」-> as for

「わかんね」-> doesn’t understand

「ンだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

= “Fuyumi doesn’t understand! Girls don’t understand!”

The n in nda is written in Katakana, once again for emphasis.

Also he looks so adorable the way he is marching out of the room there. Tiny Touya.

Still can’t believe some people in this fandom apparently were never (around) kids and somehow drew the conclusion that Touya is sexist. What a great takeaway from this entire chapter! Anyway, that’s just how kids talk - and definitely something brothers say to their sisters - but I’m pretty sure if he tried to say something like that now Fuyumi wouldn’t let him get away with it. But she’s like 2 (?) here, so not like she cares. Oh and… if you think “a girl wouldn’t get it” is sexist, then wouldn’t you also have that same energy in regards to a man solely getting a wife to use her as a baby-maker-machine, and then after putting her into a mental hospital proceeding to turn his only daughter (who was only created as emotional support person for her older brother) into a replacement for the mom? Yeah, I’m really surprised little Touya would say something that could be considered sexist...

「心配ちてんのに！！ 」

「心配ちてん ; shinpai chiten 」-> worrying

「のに ; noni 」-> used when complaining to someone

= “I’m worrying!!”

Here, little Fuyumi-Chan is basically complaining that Touya-Nii is mad and says she doesn’t understand, even though she is just worried about him. Everybody say “Thank you, Fuyumi!” for caring about Touya. Now, moving on to the actual sad panel:

「俺はもう「超えたい」って思ってるんだ！火をつけたのはお父さんだ！」

「俺 ; ore 」-> I 

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「もう ; mou 」-> already

「超えたい ; koetai 」-> want to surpass

「って思ってるん ; tte omotterun 」-> thinking

「だ ; da 」-> be

「火をつけた ; hi o tsuketa 」-> ignited

「のは ; no wa」->

「お父さん ; otousan 」-> dad

「だ ; da 」-> be

= “I’m already thinking ‘I want to surpass him’! Dad is the one that ignited that flame in me!”

He is crying! Already! He acted tougher before walking away, but now that he is facing away from Fuyumi, the tears start rolling in a very defensive way. It’s basically him knowing that he can’t live up to his father’s expectations, but this is what he wants. He “wants” to surpass All Might, but it’s Endeavor who ignited that fire in him. Kids oftentimes have one parent they are closer to and sometimes even look up to. For Touya, that’s obviously Endeavor. He wants to make his father proud and wants to be what his father wants him to be.

Clearly, he’s always been very smart and also very self-aware. He’s always known his limits, but also back then refused to admit to it because he still had hope that he would somehow be able to be this incredible hero, despite his limitations. He wasn’t willing to just give up back then, and even now in the present time, he doesn’t give up. He can’t just let go and move on with his life, because no one ever told him that was an acceptable option. Not performing well meant his father loved him less. That’s why he never gave up because a child naturally craves their parents’ attention and love, even if it isn’t a healthy love. So who would give up something if that would result in not being loved anymore?

「それは。。。あんまりだよ。。。！残酷じゃない！あなたが子どもに何を求めてるか燈矢はもう知ってる！」

「それ ; sore 」-> that

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「あんまり ; anmari 」-> too much

「だ ; da 」-> be

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

「残酷 ; zankoku 」-> cruel

「じゃない ; janai 」-> used to express emotion; when you want to accuse someone

「あなた ; anata 」-> you

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「子ども ; kodomo 」-> child

「に ; ni 」-> for

「何 ; nani 」-> what

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「求めてる ; motometeru 」-> searching for; seeking

「か ; ka 」-> represents the intention of a question

「燈矢 ; touya 」-> Touya

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「もう ; mou 」-> already

「知ってる ; shitteru 」-> to know

= “That is… too much…! It’s cruel! Touya already knows what you want children for!”

A difference I noticed between the original version and the official English translation is that in the official translation Rei says “That would be too cruel!” whereas in the original version she says “That is cruel!” accompanied by janai which is used when you want to accuse someone. The “would” seems a bit more like Endeavor merely suggested something, but it’s still undecided. In reality, he’s not asking for her permission. It’s not about what Rei wants, yet she is still trying to make him come back to his senses and realize what effects his actions have on Touya.

「どれだけ言っても。。。毎日新しい火傷をつくってくる。。。」

「どれだけ ; dore dake 」-> how much

「言っても ; ittemo 」-> although I say

「毎日 ; mainichi 」-> every day

「新しい ; atarashii 」-> new

「火傷 ; yakedo 」-> burn

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「つくってくる ; tsukuttekuru」-> continue to get (つくる + てくる)

= “Despite how much I say, he continues to get new burns every day.”

Well, the earlier advice of “it’s for your own good” isn’t exactly the best way to get your child to understand why it shouldn’t do something. There probably could’ve been a bit more initiative here, you know, like getting a therapist involved. Someone, who actually understands children and knows how to handle them.

「バカなところも俺に似た。。。！諦めさせるにはそれしかない。。。燈矢には。。。超えられない 。」

「バカ ; baka 」-> idiot

「なところ ; na tokoro」-> aspect; side

「も ; mo 」-> also; too

「俺 ; ore 」-> I 

「に似た ; ni nita」-> resembled

「諦めさせる ; akirameru 」-> make someone give up

「には ; niwa 」-> as for

「それ ; sore 」-> that

「しかない ; shika nai 」-> only

「燈矢 ; touya 」-> Touya

「には ; niwa 」-> as for

「超えられない ; koerarenai 」-> can’t surpass

= “He also resembles me with the idiot aspect…! That is the only way to make him give up… Touya can’t surpass him.”

Those last two panels honestly look straight out of a horror story. Is that the face of a loving family man? Apparently so!

These posts originally started out because of the bias and obviously, Dabi is still written weirdly, but I do have to point out that the official translation at least doesn’t make Endeavor sound nicer here than he actually is.

I also find it interesting how Rei is drawn here, with half her face being in a shadow, which is usually a style used to show a character’s sinister side. Here, it’s accompanied by a sweat drop, which often indicates exasperation. This might indicate the start of a turning point for her. And this turning point is something that you see over the following panels until it comes to a finale on everyone’s faces once Shouto is born:

Looking at their eyes, they all look less than fine here.

Touya just kinda stares lifelessly. As Rei stated in the previous scene, Touya already knows why he and his siblings exist. He already knew when Natsuo was born and thus, Natsuo’s existence was living proof that Touya was still not enough. Yet, he still refuses to give up and desperately tries to prove himself to his father. And then 3 ½ years later, another sibling arrives.

Rei has shading under her eye and her eyes only half-way open, indicating fatigue. Obviously, giving birth would do that, but she’s also just generally tired of this and probably began to understand how powerless she is. And Endeavor has his eyes wide-open with tiny pupils, often indicating a character’s drive (not in a good way). He knows this is the one.

「お父さん。俺も超えられるよ。ほら。。。こんなに強い炎が出せるようになったんだ 。俺のこと見てよ。 」

「お父さん ; otousan 」-> dad

「俺 ; ore 」-> I 

「も ; mo 」-> too

「超えられる ; koerareru 」-> can surpass

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

「ほら ; hora 」-> look!, hey!

「こんなに ; konna ni」-> such

「強い ; tsuyoi 」-> strong

「炎 ; honou 」-> flame

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「出せる ; daseru 」-> can produce; start (a fire)

「ようになったん ; you ni nattan 」-> have reached the point that

「だ ; da 」-> be

「俺 ; ore 」-> I 

「のこと ; no koto 」-> about

「見て ; mite 」-> look 

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “Dad. I can also surpass him. Look… I have reached the point that I can produce such strong flames. Look at me!”

Based on this scene we can conclude that Touya kept training on his own. Endeavor knows about this, yet never bothered to actually stop him from going out to train (just saying “don’t do this” isn’t enough).

You can just see the desperation on his face, completely ignoring the tears running down his face. He is already at a point here where his feelings start to be tuned out. The only thing that’s on his mind is his goal of proving himself as the worthy successor.

「ダメだ！何故わからん！そこまでの火傷を負って何故わからないんだ！！」

「ダメ ; dame 」-> no good

「だ ; da 」-> be

「何故 ; naze 」-> why

「わからん ; wakaran 」-> don’t understand

「そこまで ; sokomade 」-> that far

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「火傷 ; yakedo 」-> burn

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「負って ; otte 」-> receive (wound); injured

「何故 ; naze 」-> why

「わからない ; wakaranai 」-> don’t understand

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

= “No good! I don’t understand why! You get so many burns and still don’t understand!!”

Again, not a great way to get your kid to understand anything. Yelling isn’t helping, either! Neither is telling them you don’t understand why they don’t understand.

「燈矢。。。！！おまえは外を見ろ。冬美や夏雄と遊べ！！学校で友達をつくれ！ヒーロー以外にも。。。沢山の世界がある。。。わかるだろう！」

「燈矢 ; touya 」-> Touya

「おまえ ; omae 」-> you

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「外 ; soto 」-> outside

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「見ろ ; miro 」-> look (imperative)

「冬美 ; fuyumi」-> Fuyumi

「や ; ya 」-> and

「夏雄 ; natsuo」-> Natsuo

「と ; to 」-> with

「遊べ ; asobe 」-> play (imperative)

「学校 ; gakkou 」-> school

「で ; de 」-> at

「友達 ; tomodachi 」-> friends

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「つくれ ; tsukure 」-> to make (imperative)

「ヒーロー ; hiro 」-> hero

「以外 ; igai 」-> excepting; with the exception of

「にも ; nimo 」-> as well

「沢山 ; takusan 」-> plenty; enough; a large number

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「世界 ; sekai 」-> world

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「ある ; aru 」-> be

「わかる ; wakaru 」-> to understand

「だろう ; darou 」-> don’t you agree

= “Touya…!! Look outside! Play with Fuyumi and Natsuo!! Make friends at school! There are other things than heroes… there are many worlds… you understand that, don’t you!”

The darou at the end here is a little assertive, like saying “This is how I see it and you should agree!” which is captured in the official translation by him saying “I know you understand” - which is a funny phrasing since Touya obviously doesn’t understand.

I get that being a hero is often reduced to just being about fighting, but how is this man so incapable of understanding his own child? He knows Touya goes out training regularly - and has been for years - and keeps coming home with burns and even after all this time Touya still doesn’t listen to him, and yet his incredible advice here is “Go get some friends!” Is that… helpful to anyone? No wonder he never got to the Number One position if that’s how he tries to save people.

There’s actually a chapter in the School Briefs light novels (no spoilers) that brings up this topic too: What kind of hero are you if you can’t even save your own family?

And we’re not talking about Touya being held at gunpoint or something; we’re talking about years and years of this child’s mental and physical health decreasing, very obviously so, and it’s not getting any better.

Touya doesn’t do this because he’s jealous because he already did all of this before any of his competitors (= Natsuo and Shouto) were born. He’s doing this because he is a child and like any other child out there just wants his parents’ love and attention, which is literally the parents’ whole job. Endeavor failed both as a father and a hero.

「そうしていく内に忘れる。」

「そうしていく ; soushiteiku 」-> continue to do so (そうする + ていく)

「内に ; uchi ni 」-> while

「忘れる ; wasureru 」-> to forget about it

= “While you continue to do so, you’ll forget about it.”

I don’t even know if he thinks this is good advice? Surely, no one could think this would be helpful here, right…?

「学校の子は皆ヒーローになるってさ。。。！。。。わかるはずないだろ。。。！」

「学校 ; gakkou 」-> school

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「子 ; ko 」-> kids

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「皆 ; minna 」-> everyone

「ヒーロー ; hiro 」-> hero

「になる ; ni naru 」-> to become

「って ; tte 」-> quotation marker

「さ ; sa 」-> emphasis particle

「わかる ; wakaru 」-> to understand

「はずない ; hazu nai 」-> cannot be 

「だろ ; daro 」-> right; I think

= “The kids at school all say they’ll become heroes…! I cannot understand, right?”

Hazu nai is used to strongly emphasize that something cannot be. In this case, Touya cannot possibly understand that concept of just letting go because this is his whole identity and you can’t just toss your whole identity away, especially when that identity is necessary in order to get your parents’ attention and love.

「俺はお父さんの子どもなんだから」

「俺 ; ore 」-> I 

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「お父さん ; otousan 」-> dad

「の ; no 」-> possessive particle; similar to an apostrophe

「子ども ; kodomo 」-> child

「なんだから ; nandakara 」-> because; after all

= “After all, I am your child.”

Nandakara has an important nuance that’s worth talking about it. It’s used to give an explanation or emphasize something that both the listener and speaker know and expresses a strong emotion that the speaker feels and that the listener doesn’t fully appreciate. Apparently, some people had an issue with the official translation here and claiming it sounded too accusatory. Anyway, this child has every right to accuse his father of expecting him to just give up on his attempt at reaching his goal when Endeavor got married and had four kids because he wasn’t immediately handed the Number One position. That sure is ironic and sad that little Touya understands this so well, too.

「冷やさなきゃ」

「冷やさなきゃ; hiyasanakya 」-> must cool; must calm down; must cool off (冷やす + なきゃ)

= “We must cool him off!”

This is a pun that also works in English! While the word hiyasu can mean to cool off in the sense of calming down, it can also mean to cool (from room temperature); to refrigerate. And both meanings are applicable here since Touya is having a breakdown and needs to be calmed down mentally, but he also seems to be sweating almost like his quirk is building up inside of him and about to boil over, which it then does as he tries to attack Shouto, so he also needs to be physically cooled down.

「お父さんが火をつけたんだ。。。！消えないんだよ。。。！！なかったことになんて。。。できないんだよ！」

「お父さん ; otousan 」-> dad

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「火をつけた ; hi wo tsuketa 」-> ignited

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

「消えない ; kienai 」-> won’t go out

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

「なかったことに ; nakatta koto ni 」-> to forget something ever existed; to pretend something didn���t happen

「なんて ; nante 」-> something like

「できない ; dekinai 」-> can’t

「んだ ; nda 」-> explanatory particle

「よ ; yo 」-> emphasis particle

= “Dad ignited that fire in me…! It won’t go out…!! I can’t just pretend something like that never existed, you know!”

「俺を見てろよ。。。！！エンデヴァー　俺を見てろよ！！！」

「俺 ; ore 」-> I 

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「見てろよ ; mitero yo」-> just you wait and see (as a threat)

「エンデヴァー ; endevaa 」-> Endeavor

「俺 ; ore 」-> I 

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「見てろよ ; mitero yo」-> just you wait and see (as a threat)

= “Just look at me…!! Endeavor, just look at me!!!”

So mitero yo is an expression meaning “just you wait and see” and it consists of the imperative form on miteru (= you must be looking) and the yo emphasizes this more. “Just you wait and see” obviously sounds far more threatening (because it is) and also kind of makes sense when considering where they are now in the present time. Now - fifteen years or so later - Endeavor sees him. This goes back to the earlier part where Dabi said “Watch me from the depths of hell” - it’s a different form (in that part he says mitekure, while here he says mitero yo) but he’s always telling his family to look at him. Because, at the end of the day, that’s where it all went wrong. No one ever truly saw him and his pain until one day, he broke. What exactly is a child supposed to do? Endeavor has gotten away with not looking for too long, but Dabi won’t let him go on like that anymore.

And notice how he says the same line twice here? And in the middle he says “Endeavor” - for the first time, he addresses him by his hero name instead of calling him dad. This is because he isn’t just asking his father to look at him, but he’s also threatening Endeavor. I think this might actually hint that he’s already having thoughts of turning into a villain? Maybe he already thought about what it would be like to just turn himself into a villain and refuse Endeavor from reaching his goals just as Endeavor has refused Touya from reaching his goals. Whether he actively thought about this or whether that was more of a subconscious feeling is hard to say but it’s clear that at that point he already viewed Endeavor, the hero, as the bad guy that took his father away from him. If it wasn’t for Endeavor, the hero, then Touya wouldn’t have to prove his worth to his father by having a strong quirk.

「一番辛いのはあなたじゃないし。あの子を見なかったのはあなただけじゃない。」

「一番 ; ichiban 」-> the most; number one

「辛い ; tsurai 」-> painful; difficult (emotionally)

「のは ; no wa」-> nominalizer + topic marker

「あなた ; anata 」-> you

「じゃない ; janai 」-> aren’t

「し ; shi 」-> emphasizes the point you make

「あの ; ano 」-> that

「子 ; ko 」-> child

「を ; o 」-> direct object marker

「見なかった ; minakatta 」-> didn’t look

「のは ; no wa」-> nominalizer + topic marker

「あなた ; anata 」-> you

「だけ ; dake 」-> only

「じゃない ; janai 」-> aren’t

= “You are not the one with the most pain. You aren’t the only one that didn’t look at that child.”

This is another line where some people claimed the official translation made Rei sound harsher than she actually is. But I don’t think she’s even being harsh here? She’s just stating a fact. And just compare the two of them real quick: Rei just got out of the mental hospital she stayed in for ten years and upon finding out what really happened with Touya, immediately took responsibility and decided to do something. Endeavor, on the other hand, is crying in his hospital bed because suddenly he regrets that he failed as a parent for over twenty years. I don’t think she’s being harsh by telling him that he isn’t the one who is hurting the most when that’s just a fact. And the “you don’t get to claim” phrasing of the official translation isn’t really harsh, it’s just being direct. But Endeavor is a grown man and with all the pain he has caused his family, I think he can deal with not being handled like some fragile little thing.

What I find interesting about this line is that it’s essentially a continuation to what she said in the last chapter when she stated that “Everyone else is having those feelings a lot more than you” Now, she is adding to that because not only has the rest of the family suffered a lot more than Endeavor, but one person in particular - Touya - is currently in the most amount of pain out of any of them. Endeavor’s self-pity and regrets have no space here because Touya is the actual victim here, and not Endeavor for having been exposed for something he chose to do for over two decades.

They both never looked at that child, but now it’s time to change that and finally start looking at him.

There weren’t really a lot of changes in the translation - aside from our now Spanish-speaking amigo, Dabi - but there’s still a lot to talk about, as you can see by this very very long post. So if you read all of this, thank you! And also congrats for making it through! There’s always nuance that just doesn’t translate but is still important to mention and gives a better insight into the characters. This chapter was just the first part so chapter 302 will surely give us some more clarity, possibly even finally revealing what actually happened on the day Touya supposedly died. So now let’s see what the next chapter will bring. 

Adios~

[algernoninwonderland]

Kagami Tsurugi, Character Integrity and the mess that was ‘Lie‘

This is Kagami Tsurugi.

She is Japanese, comes from a lineage of Samurai, industrialists and Olympic sabre fencers, and her mother wants her to follow in the footsteps of her family. Tomoe Tsurugi's parenting style has made Kagami into a perfectionist when it comes to competitive sabre fencing and most things involving anything resembling competitions in general. Kagami is an assertive girl who has been taught not to tolerate mediocrity and failure. She resents that in everyone, including herself.

She does well in formal situations, say, a prince's birthday or a premiere at a cinema, because all of these have their sets of rules and protocols to follow which can ultimately be taught, learned and mastered. She knows her place as her mother’s daughter and a star fencer.

Kagami is also a very lonely. She hasn't been shown to have had friends back in Japan, or any attachments back there, really. Underneath her cool (or rather, icy cold) facade is a lonely socially awkward kid, she has this whole idea of what friendship should be like and of how to make friends and it includes following a long protocol, because she has little faith in her social skills, and is actually quite insecure about how likeable she is. She’s blunt, and it may come off as harshness even though it’s not the way she intended it.

Kagami has no spontaneity at all when it comes to non-normative situations, and friendship, for instance, isn't nearly as normative and codified as, say, heteronormative romance.

But here's the thing: she doesn't want to be lonely, and her mother's parenting style makes her miserable. She'd even be ready to break a few rules if it meant she could have a better, happier life. If she has to lie by omission (she isn't good at improv at all) or to sneak out, then so be it, she's willing to take her chance and willing to face whatever punishment her mother has in store for her if she gets caught, because not trying to make new friends and to try new things is worse than being punished. She wants to have a life, and as it turns out, breaking the rules actually amuses her.

See what this is right here? Outside of the whole kind of stereotypically racist nonsense about family honour and ancestral traditions, it's damn fine character writing. Kagami Tsurugi has been one of the better-written characters in Miraculous, with the most consistency and coherency.

[this is the moment when the record scratch sound effect kicks in]

Wow, would you look at this, season 4 of Miraculous is starting to air and Kagami was replaced with a character that looks like her and has the same voice actress but isn't Kagami Tsurugi, outside of a half-minute window during which the original character reappears to tell us that she likes drawing things now. Admittedly, it’s a neat thirty seconds, but outside of that...

In 'Lie', the character that looks and sounds like Kagami Tsurugi is suddenly good at improv and lies to the face of two adults by spinning stories out of nowhere, unblinkingly, without being nervous about facing the consequences at all.

In ‘Lie’, the character named Kagami Tsurugi suddenly takes sabre fencing lightly enough to try and kiss her boyfriend in the middle of a bout.

In ‘Lie’, the character the show has decided is Kagami Tsurugi acts smart with her mother, almost cocky.

In ‘Lie’, this ‘Kagami Tsurugi’ acts violently against her now ex-boyfriend and former friend in the presence of one of the best-regarded fencing masters in Paris, during the middle of one of his lessons.

I know that being in love supposedly changes people, and that's the in-universe reason for Kagami's behaviour but you'll have to admit, these are rather radical changes, aren’t they? And rather sudden ones, too, sure there were hints of Kagami's playfulness before, hints of her insecurities, but this is something else entirely.

But, I hear you say, it’s good that characters change, you always complain that our main two characters are stagnant. To which I’ll answer that character development is good but it doesn’t happen overnight, and if a character is so altered in the span of exactly two episodes with only a very fishy in-universe explanation, then it’s not exactly great, now, is it?

Kagami’s integrity as a character is thrown away for the sake of ship drama, ‘Lie’ leaves the audience with a weirdly warped image of what the character from seasons 2 and 3 was because the character needed to be more extreme and simple to fit the narrative and themes of the episode.

I would have been fine with about any changes to the character had the show taken the time to introduce them progressively. It hasn’t.

What the show does with its characters, rewriting them so that they can play a thematically-relevant role in whatever episode they appear in... It’s cheap, and it insults its audience’s intelligence.

[more-than-a-princess]

@awesomeuchuu​ asked:  “I’ve wanted to meet you for a long time.” From Eichi. :D I thought, why not have the two rich kids meet? (Thank you for the follow-back!)

First Impressions starters - Still Accepting!

She'd been looking over an array of orchids (not inspecting. That was left to a woman in her late fifties just a few meters away. Snugly fit into a Chanel tweed suit, she'd been eyeing the flowers out of one eye and Sonia with the other) when she'd heard a male voice address her. Not by name, strangely enough: even if he was a stranger, there was a certain gravity that came from being 1. A foreigner and 2. royalty that ensured that Japanese upperclass society knew her in some capacity: a cousin had attended In Utero School, a family friend had met King Alexandre of Novoselic on his last royal visit to Tokyo, etc. But he'd addressed her...simply. Not by name, not even by title: just someone he'd wanted to meet.

And truth be told, Sonia Nevermind was relieved. She'd accepted the invitation by one Mrs. Furukawa to attend her annual Garden Party out of the behest of her mother. The wife of a tech and innovation mogul, Queen Valentina only approved of Mrs. Furukawa because her husband had transformed the family enterprise from transport to tech before the tech boom and she herself was distantly descended from the Imperial Family, which ensured that a lone princess or sister of the current Emperor would discreetly make her appearance before tastefully departing well before everyone got too drunk. Mrs. Furukawa, however, threw every ounce of pride not in her husband's multi-billion yen business but her blue blood lineage, and therefore only invited guests from the right families: old money rich with wealth transcending at least three generations and wealthy foreigners from nations she could respect, like anywhere in Western Europe. Royalty, naturally, was a given, and therefore as soon as Sonia had stepped out of her car in a tasteful Miu Miu dress (not too short, no logos), Mrs. Furukawa had descended upon her, greeting her as if she were her own nation's royalty.

Sonia, careful not to let her face show how overwhelmed she was even as a teenage girl (and with plenty to be overwhelmed about), had made her niceties before retreating to the gardens with a glass of champagne (discreetly taken from a tray) and a small bit of conversation with the only other person she knew beyond their family name, lineage, and general net worth, Byakuya Togami (also discreetly performed, mostly on his part: he'd always found the Ultimate Princess to have poor taste, something she never quite corrected him on. In fact, she wore it as a badge of pride). Now, she'd had champagne and three petit fours to distract her before the blond boy had approached and she was grateful he'd had. After all, the woman in the too-small Chanel suit now perked up her ears as if she were a dog listening to the quietest of whistles. It wasn't that Sonia wanted to be cynical, but she'd attended enough galas, enough balls, enough garden parties to know the look: she had someone, likely her own offspring, that the Princess of Novoselic simply must meet for purposes of business, potential marriage, or in the best of circumstances, both.

Yes, Sonia was more than eager to speak with someone else under the age of twenty and seemingly not keen to discuss business. Of any nature.

"You have?" She asked brightly, turning to him with a smile. Conversation, naturally, was better than any meticulously tended flowers on display. She set her empty plate and glass on a nearby silver tray, set out for the used stemware and dishes to go, in order to give him her full attention. He seemed close to her in age, if she had to judge by appearances, with a rather gentle expression. "Well then, this garden party is quite fortuitous for you! My name is Sonia Nevermind." Something, even if he hadn't mentioned it, he likely knew already. But at least it set the precedent that she did not want to be called by her title if she could help it.

"May I know your name too?"

[theggning]

I'd you've discussed it before, I missed it. So no pressure if you don't want to rehash, but ... Can I get your general thoughts on Elder Maxson? Your opinion of him/headcanons you might have?

He's such a complex character imo, and lately he's been living rent free in my head.

Yeah, absolutely! I’ve previously given him a lot of shit and I make fun of him often (we all know What He Did) but he is actually a really complex and fascinating character. 

I actually feel really sorry for Arthur Maxson. The poor kid never had a chance to be well-adjusted or have a normal life. Arthur is the last living descendant of the man who founded the Brotherhood of Steel, and he comes along at a time when the Brotherhood is heavily struggling for relevance. In the west, they’re strictly and dogmatically isolationist, and you end up with groups like the Mojave chapter fading into obscurity in a bunker. In the east, you’ve got Owyn Lyons, who makes a stand for what he believes in (altruism), gets his entire chapter disowned, and loses half of his soldiers because they disagree (the Outcasts from FO3.) 

Meanwhile, Arthur carries the blood and the name of the one person EVERYONE in the Brotherhood believes in. When we meet him in FO3, Squire Arthur Maxson is a smart, shy, gentle 10-year-old boy who’s been sent eastward away from his parents both to protect him and to “make him stronger” (his parents die while he’s away.) He had no friends his own age and no friends at all, actually (except for Liberty Prime-- a journal entry mentions a scribe chasing Arthur out of the lab and scolding him for trying to befriend a machine.) He hero-worships Sentinel Sarah Lyons, but he’s too young and clumsy to follow her out into the field. Everybody treats him like a small soldier or a messiah, no matter how he tries to downplay his lineage and claim to be a normal boy. This literal child spends his entire life being told he’s special and mighty with a “soul forged from eternal steel.”

The pressure and the expectations eventually start to push him into embracing his “destiny.” By 12, he’s improved his combat skills enough to kill two raiders on patrol. By 13, he single-handedly kills a deathclaw (and earns his face scar.) By 15 he’s taking out important super mutant leaders. And by 16, he’s so hardcore that the West Coast BoS gets back in touch with the East and names Arthur Elder. At the age normal teenage boys are socializing with peers or having friends or letting their brains finish developing, Arthur Maxson is the goddamn supreme commander of a military force. And the East Coast BoS actually thrives under him, becoming more powerful and relevant than they’ve ever been. And this is how we go from the shy, quiet squire to the charismatic, highly-beloved (MOTHERFUCKING 20-YEARS-OLD) Elder Arthur Maxson in FO4. 

I wouldn’t say that FO4!Arthur buys into his own hype. Despite how he’s been treated his whole life, he doesn’t believe that he is a god or a messiah. But he does believe literally every single word of the BoS codex. He does believe that they are saving humanity and doing what’s best for the future. He has been living as the legend people expected of him for years now, and is determined to continue down that path. 

I think in his own twisted way, Arthur actually does care about the people of the Commonwealth, as he claims to. But it’s in the same way that a king cares about his subjects. He knows what’s best for them and doesn’t really care to seek their input before doing what he likes. Though he genuinely does believe the Institute is evil and he genuinely wants to protect the world from their menace, he also comes to the Commonwealth because he wants to lead his own glorious war of liberation, the way Owyn Lyons did in the Capital. 

Also, for all people claim the BoS were “ruined” by Arthur in FO4, keep in mind that  

A. Lyons’ BoS and their charity and altruism were actually outliers- most of the BoS are a bunch of isolationist asswipes (see: the entire West Coast branch) B. The BoS hating non-human races is the norm, not the exception C. Arthur has actually fairly smoothly integrated BoS traditions with Lyons’ more fair and altruistic beliefs (which he grew up with.) He clearly maintains a lot of respect for the Lyons family (even if the current BoS party line is to denigrate them in favor of praising Arthur.) 

Here are some things that Arthur has commanded of his BoS that make them the kinder, gentler version of the faction, and also just some general nice things he’s done as Elder: 

Civilians are ordered to be treated fairly. BoS soldiers are not permitted to harm them (except in self defense) and any and all tech they possess is to be traded for fairly with food and medicine. If they refuse to trade, they are left alone. 

BoS soldiers are to defend civilians and initiate proactive strikes on super mutants, feral ghouls, Institute synths, and other threats. BoS vertibird crews are to protect caravans from above. 

BoS soldiers are to be monitored for mental health concerns as well as physical. Arthur explicitly orders Cade to treat all mental conditions the same way he would treat an injury. 

He shows deep personal concern for his staff and crew. This is notable in the terminal entries re: Ingram, where Arthur is apologetic for denying her field duty-- and when she disobeys him and goes to Mass Fusion anyway, all he does for punishment is to write her a sternly worded letter. 

Arthur Maxson is a cold, brutal, unflinching military dictator with a god complex. He is a lonely, frightened child carrying the weight of the world and desperately trying to prove himself. He’s a compassionate, charismatic leader. He’s a terrifying enemy. He’s an idealistic liberator who wants to protect humanity. He’s a dogmatic bigot who thinks evolving his views is showing weakness. He’s all of these at the same time. He could only get the wide and varied fandom reception he does by having this many facets of his personality, and by being one of the most complicated characters in the game. 

And okay, I’ll say it: his beard and his jacket are pretty sexy. 

[fafulous]

Take Me Home (1/5)

Andy Barber x Reader (Post!Defending Jacob)

Summary: After the unfortunate events of the trial and after, a depressed Andy Barber decides to call it quits and start a mundane life far away from Newton. He decides it is best to have a fresh start away from prying eyes and alone, but he never thought his caring neighbor (and her son) would change all of that.

Themes: MAJOR D.J. SPOILERS ((The series is following the BOOK ENDING and not Show)), Sad and soft Andy Barber, Single Mother Reader. Cursing.

a/n: I hope you guys like it. We all know Andy deserves some softness :’)

The one thing you cherished about your neighbourhood was its calming silence.

Away from the hustle and bustle of the 21st century fast pacers. It did not give you any force to lead a rush life. No matter how hard life was you enjoyed this serenity, just like your neighbours.

You were the only one relatively younger in your neighbourhood, for this place was normally owned by retired elderly after experiencing everything life had to offer. But for you and your three-year-old little son, it was a second chance at life. All your neighbours except for that one loner house beside you was occupied by retired veterans and war heroes.

But that soon changed.

A man by the name Andrew Barber had moved to the house beside you. You got to know one day when you saw a huge truck with people going in and out of the house with clean and neat furniture.

Seeing all that, your vivid imagination went running and tried to picture how this man would look. Judging by the furniture (which made no sense), you thought your new neighbour was someone who would be simple and felt it wasn’t going to be someone who was, you know, old.

Oh boy were you right.

Once those packers went by, you saw him.

Andrew Barber was nothing what you thought out to be. Tall and broad, his back muscles would tell you its own tale. From afar you noticed his biceps never failed him too, for his arms screamed whenever he went in and out with a huge piece of cardboard boxes. His facial hair was a bit messy, like he is just moving into his new abode right after a sloth nap. You weren’t sure but his blue eyes had a dull finish that were deep embedded in his sunken face.

You also took notice of his sleek black Audi A6 which was parked by his driveway; It was not easy to peel your eyes away from its beauty.

This was wrong. You’re a single mother with the most adorable kid you could’ve ever asked for. After a struggle of six months your son Nikolai and you have found a hint of stability; single parenting is never easy unless you get the hang of it.

And you did.

Before you could offer any refreshments, your neighbours beat you to it. They were too kind. They were the elderly parents whose snobbish kids only visited once a year. Hence you decided to fill the gap in their lives. They loved you and you loved them back.

So now you decided that maybe when the time is right, you could meet him in a day or two and get to know each other.

Right?

 —

This was new for Andy. Very foreign too.

To live a life without Laurie and Jacob was something he never expected to happen after the trial. It’s been a good handful of weeks since it happened. He did not even have the heart to think more about his son. His eyes would cloud with tears and the whole day would go wasted in drowning himself in sorrow and liquor.

He was still mourning after all.

So he decided to move. Move away from his house that reminded of his 17 years of a marriage that only seemed successful, only for it go wrong in an impulse. Move away from all of the local tabloids that hinted at himself being a next murderer. 

Move away from his unsuccessful lineage.

Scattered around him were boxes of his stuff at his new house, his stuff alone. Laurie’s stuff was nearly packed and sent away to her parents’ home, the last time he’ll ever associate himself with her family.

Yes, her family.

Andy did file for a divorce while she was in prison, but that was a long procedure until it became official. However hard it was to sign those papers; it was as hard to let go of Laurie. Because if he lets her go, he has nobody.

A lone sunken soul.

The packers truck got in half of his belongings, the remaining which will come tomorrow. It was difficult moving especially with one single person. His neighbours were all elderly, so surely, he could not ask anyone for help. Also, it was another reason he chose this locality, he could be alone while he knew he lived in a tightly knitted community filled with respected war veterans. 

He was extremely taken aback when many of his neighbours offered him freshly cooked food and refreshments to get over the day. He was thankful. They knew about his past and still they accepted him and asked him to reach out if any help was needed.

Andy’s day went ahead unpacking his clothes first, which took his time. He wondered if he’d ever need the fashionable suits and ties, he wore to work. There was a job opening at a swimming instructor at the local community gym; all he needs are those Speedos. But nevertheless, he kept then all back, trying to keep his mind preoccupied in cleaning.

But all that effort seemed futile for every memory crashed down when he unpacked his wedding tux.

He felt too claustrophobic, buried his hand in his face. He no longer had a marriage. He no longer had anyone to look after.

He no longer had anyone to look after him.

But amidst all this chaos in his foggy mind, he hears a lovely toothy giggle of a child. 

He peeks out of his window to see a young mother and her small son sitting in their backyard with a picnic spread in front of them, while the little boy kept tripping over the grass purposefully just so he could laugh and make his mother laugh too. Andy had no idea he had a middle-aged family living nearby.

Seeing you and the son spread this familiar warmth inside Andy, reminiscing how he had this. It reminded Andy of a happier time. 

Soon to be replaced with anguish. He would never have that again. He missed feeling the warmth of family, the love of a wife. Life never really gave second chances he believed.

He noticed you, a caring mother placing the little one on your lap while you fed him all the scrumptious food. He didn’t fail to miss how your eyes shined with happiness. A happy woman is always a pretty woman at heart; it is something he used to tell himself. A soft chuckle left out of Andy’s lips as he saw the boy eat the food messily, but you seemed to be patient, responding lovingly towards his naughty antics. 

Her husband is one lucky son of a bitch.

He could watch you two all day, but that would be extremely inappropriate. Right now, Andy wanted his newfound house to look like a home.

Next day went by and it didn’t seem like he was getting anywhere near getting his house ready. He was waiting for another truck to get more of his stuff while he sipped on some bear till the movers arrived. They unloaded most of his stuff at his lawn and went away.

“Need a hand moving those boxes?”

Andy turned around to a gentle voice of the same woman who had he had seen yesterday with the small child.

You.

A chilly afternoon, he wasn’t surprised you sporting a loose, fluffy knitted woollen pullover with black leggings. Your hair was tied up in a bun and then noticed that he was probably staring at you for a long time.

“Uh- No. I’m fine, thank you.”

But you kept standing there looking at him smirking. He was literally struggling to carry all those boxes “Your body language says something else.”

When he looked up you saw his sunken eyes with even more detail as though the man hasn’t slept in days, “Would I be desperate man if I said yes?”

You chuckled, “Not at all. I’m Y/N Y/LN.”

“Andrew Barber”, he stretched out his hand for a warm greeting with a firm handshake. The feeling of his rough palms sends small jitters to you, but you ignored it; and just like that you resumed. 

You helped him lift the bigger boxes to his house even though you knew he carried most of the weight. Two could always get the work done sooner. Both of you didn’t talk much for these 20 minutes but it was a comfortable silence while both of you took sneaky glances at each other’s features.

When you neared him, you realized he was lot more than just handsome. Sunken face was holding two blue eyes that would be enticing if he had put any effort to put any life in them. His beard was neatly trimmed although scruffy, just like you saw yesterday.

Andy on the other hand was just too despondent to, you know, check you out. He thought you to be a beautiful woman with a kind heart, especially after seeing you and your son yesterday.

He even thought of asking you about your son and family, but that would be too intrusive he wondered.

Andy thought you’d leave after moving the boxes but you insisted you’d stay to help unpack his stuff and maybe cook some lunch for him since he didn’t even unpack his kitchen utensils out. He was ready to accept the help only for a second.

The Andrew Barber he knew before the events of the trial would have gladly accepted, maybe even made lunch for the beautiful lady, instead of you, who graciously offered him help. He was divorced now so there was nothing stopping him.

But do you really deserve a fresh start with a lady Andy?

Would she be here if she knew who you really were?

His mind was plagued. He moved here with the intention of a fresh start but, he wondered if anyone would actually accept him. He decided for himself that they wouldn’t.

“It’s alright Y/N. Thanks for your help.”

There was no way a man could set up his home all alone you thought. “Mr. Barber, are you sure? I really have no problem. I’m completely unoccupied at the moment. Besides Nikolai-”

“No.”

You blinked at his curt reply.

“I’m good Y/N. I can take care of the remaining stuff here. You can go now.”

Looking at him made you realise how conflicted he was. His words likely meant that he didn’t require your presence but his whole demeanour looked like just wanted some god damn company. He didn’t mind your help at first, but at the same time now he was pushing you away. What changed?

So much for making acquaintances with the new neighbour, you thought.

Without saying anything you stiffly nodded, Andy realizing the offence written all over your face, and saw you walk away from his abode closing his door politely.

It was probably for the best to keep distance from a kind woman like you. He knew you were trying to get acquainted with him like any normal person would, but Andy was firmly grounded that he and normalcy would never go back again.

The minute you left he opened another beer bottle to sink himself. This fresh start for Andy was just bullshit.

–

You rushed back the minute you closed Mr. Grumpy Cat’s door and made a beeline to your home, only to see your son playing on the countertop with one your elderly neighbour. 

“Thank you, Mr. Arthur, for taking care of Nikolai. I hope he didn’t cause much trouble.”

“I’d do anything for you sweet pea, Nikolai was a sweetheart.” The old man chuckled and turned to leave, “By the way last weekend’s pot pie was delicious. I had to make it up to you.”

Returning a hug, you thanked your neighbour again and leaped your son in your arms, attacking him with kissed while he spurted giggles. “Mommy it tickles!”

“Guess what happened peaches? I met our new neighbour”

Nikolai clapped his hand “Mista Wandew Bahhba?”

Your son was hell bent on knowing the name of the newcomer after he laid his eyes on the stylish black Audi. Boys always know their toys.

You nodded, “He’s a grumpy man peaches. I have no idea what to do with him.” And just like that you began speaking with Nikolai. He was your only company to talk. He never really understood anything, but your talented son did a fairly good job of putting up a pretense to hear.

“I offered him help and he says yes. Then I kindly ask him if I can help him more, you know like cook homemade spaghetti. But instead he becomes snippy with me?”

“Woh no,” your son whispered to your exclamation, which in reality was for his superhero figurines falling on to the floor. “I like his cahr mommy.”

“So do I Niko, but I so do not like him,” you paused and gave him a kiss on the forehead, “Guess we’re the only sunshine in this neighbourhood peaches.”

—

Days went by and you rarely interacted with your new neighbour.

Oh and when it did, it really never went well for you.

The first time was when a few standard posts under the name of Mr. Barber arrived at your doorstep, since he wasn’t available at his house. Like any other hospitable neighbour, you signed the post and made sure to drop it by him when he gets back.

"Uh Mr. Barber the post man dropped this by at our doorstep since you weren’t available. I thought I should give it to you.”

Andy opened the door with a few knocks and saw you standing with a few posts in a fluffy cable knit sweater. He took the posts from you, gently brushing over your hands. He perused through them quickly and gave you that conflicted stern look.

“I appreciate it Mrs. Y/L/N, but next time I’d like to collect my own posts irrespective of its nature. You can tell them I can collect it from the post office”

Was this man for real?

You crossed your arms and gave him back that stern look too. He wasn’t going to get away without you throwing shade. “Oh you know Mr. Barber I was just trying to be a good neighbour. It’s not like I’m dying here to get associated with you.”

He gave you a nasty grin which triggered you to make you leave away from his threshold.

Andy thought for a moment that he already crossed the line with the wrong woman.

The next time you met him was probably the last time you would ever meet him.

Your shift at the library got too late, for you were the Librarian of the local Library. You didn’t have to worry much about picking up your son late for he was at Mr. Arthur’s.

But coming home realising that he was sitting on the front porch of Andrew’s house made you park your car haphazardly in your driveway and run up to your child, ignoring Andrew’s presence.

“I’m so sorry sweetie. What are you doing here Niko?”

Andy interrupted, “Mr. Arthur had to visit the hospital. He was catching the flu and he didn’t want to give it to Nikolai here.”

You didn’t want to meet his gaze, but you forced yourself for you were grateful for this kind gesture. Maybe this Grumpy Cat has a kind heart after all.

“Mr. Barber, thank you so much for taking care of Niko. My phone must’ve been on silent if Arthur wanted to contact me.”

“Oh, don’t thank me Mrs. Y/L/N. I am just filling in the gaps of irresponsible parenting.”

It felt like a blunt hit to your heart. “Excuse me?”

“Oh, you heard me.” he whispered so closely that you could smell his musky deodorant with a hint of beer. Your son was out of earshot, sipping on a glass of lemonade that was probably offered by this man. “Trust me I know what happens to a child that is always kept away from their caretakers.”

He quickly went on to say how Nikolai was a special child when your son came near you both and how your family should take more care in your child. You never really listened for your eyes threatened to pierce with tears. No way were you going to cry in front of this man.

“Thank you Mista Wandi.”

“Anytime buddy.”

He went up and shut the door, like it was a personal aimed at you.

And you just stood there feeling numb while Niko tugged on your work coat.

“Let’s go home Mommi.”

The audacity to tell you how to be a parent. Did he even have a child? Does he even know how to it is to take care of a child single handed?

But those questions never mattered. No matter how positive you are in life, its never nice to hear someone spew your flaws on to your face.

Meanwhile minutes passed when Andy soon realised how he had royally fucked up. Everyday around 5pm you and your child would come along to the backyard and have a snack ritual while both of you played or read story books. For Andy, though he chided himself for his stalking behaviour, it brought him a sense of peace to see your son scream with shrills of laughter when he ran around the lawn.

He had nothing against you, yet he was being selfish.

I be mean to her; I stay away from here. Simple.

Today however, Nikolai sat facing away from his ypu munching on freshly baked cookies while you sported a tear stained face. He felt a twinge when he saw you staring straight ahead with a blank stare while tears rolled down. His heart successfully sunked when he saw Nikolai trying to wipe your tears and hug you. Andrew then sat down dramatically on his chair when he saw you breakdown into your son’s fragile shoulders.

Apologies wouldn’t fix this. It would, but Andrew Barber the resilient thought that being obnoxiously rude to someone he wants to be close to will make them hate him.

He never thought it would hurt you.

He decided not to take any efforts in an apology; or it could take more than an apology.

—

A few weeks passed by and you tried your level best and succeeded in avoiding banters with Mr. Grumpy Cat. Whenever you saw him, a flurry of rage fell over you. Was it your mistake you were trying to be friendly to your only attractive neighbour?

Strike out attractive. A mean soul was never attractive.

Andrew Barber on the other hand dreaded what had happened; he was a little too late to the party to realise that your house had no male inhabitant, except for that one man who had made a visit.

He soon deduced that you were a single mother.

Too late rather Andy.

And when he recalled what he had said to you, he wanted you to slap him in the face. Hard enough to have a bruise that lasted for a year.

Nikolai and you always woke up late on a weekend morning. Both of you always shared and slept in the same room for Nikolai had regularly occurring nightmares.

You never realised but you and Niko woke up a small commotion outside your house, or probably his house.

Plus, the other day it so happened Nikolai’s father paid a terribly long visit, pleading you to take him back into your life. He felt apologetic for what he did. But that lingering memory was soon cut off by Grumpy Cat’s voice.

Knowing his tendencies to irate his neighbours, (or maybe just you exclusively) you ignored it and began serving late breakfast pancakes for your son. But you soon stopped when you heard a loud, hoarse bellow.

“GET OFF MY LAWN!”

You looked outside of your window to see a bunch of vans and the reporters standing outside Andy’s lawn. Niko ran up to you and carried him over your hip for the little one heard the scary yell too.

Andy’s car was parked haphazardly on the pavement. A pair or more of reporters were taking pictures of him and his vandalised garage door.

“Oh my god.”

You put down Niko and asked him to play with his toys. Yes, you hated Andrew but what you saw on his now tainted garage door made you want to retch. It was such a distasteful thing to do. It appeared as if a spray can paint was used to write whatever it was on the door:

MURDERER, YOU WILL ROT IN HELL TOO.

Andy crouched down on his knees, his hands covering his face and ruggedly running his hands through his hair, while he kneeled down in front of the vandalism.

The very reason he moved away from Newton was now on his garage door.

You wanted to go out and help him, but your ego wouldn’t let you. Why should you help a man who was nothing but mean to you all this while?

Luckily enough you saw Mr. Arthur and a couple of his old friends admonishing the press. They threatened that this community was filled with retired war veterans and that they would charge them for community trespassing and disrupting the lives of people who have lost a limb and more for this country.

Hearing that threat made the desperate amateur reporters leave from the vicinity as soon as possible.

Andy stood up and tried to process this whole situation, looking around for any sort of help, only to lay his eyes on the faint image you from your window.

You expected him to shout and rage and ask you to fuck off from staring at his pitiful state. But he didn’t. You would never forget those embarrassed sunken eyes, silently pleading for help.

He didn’t deserve this. You have no idea about his past or who he was to garner such attention, but this was just cruel. He soon averted from your gaze and went on to thank his fellow elderly friends and made his way inside home.

Later in the evening, you caught Andy scrubbing the ugly writings with cloth and soap water. After a while, he took a few steps behind and saw that they words were still there but faded.

“I had some grey paint for Nikolai’s nursery, but never got the chance to do it.”

Andy turned to that sweet voice of yours and hesitated in meeting your gaze. He was embarrassed, for you stood there, giving out an arm to help him again despite his foul behaviour. He saw little Nikolai standing behind you with his shabby brown hair that reminded him of Jacob, clutching onto your legs while he peaked at him. He didn’t understand what you mean by the whole nursery thing, but he stood up and finally, both of you took in each other’s gaze.

Andy’s eyes were even more sunken than he had when he arrived, his blue orbs sunk in a sea of red. He must have been crying. He saw you were missing your feisty eyes that you always sported. Maybe it’s because you despised him so much.

“It’s not the exact colour of your garage door but it can do the trick I suppose.”

The second you handed over the paint to him, you quickly turned around to head towards your home. But Andy didn’t want to push you further anymore by being a dick. He was ready to apologise.

“Hey please listen up! I really am s- “

“No no no,” your voice trembled; this habit of crying while you were angry was just exasperating you wondered, “I think its best we don’t hold conversation Mr. Barber. This will be probably my last interaction with you; what happened to you was horrid and ugly. You don’t deserve that. That much I know”

Andy was hesitant, embarrassed. “Mrs. Y/L/N- “

“Quit calling me a missus! I am not even fucking married anymore-” you said drawing quotes in the air, to be interrupted by a little tug at your coat. You realised that your kid was standing next to you. And you swore in front of him. Great parenting.

“Oh Niko,” you picked him up and peppered him with a few kisses, “Sorry for that language. Mommy won’t swear again okay. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah”, the kid nodded and buried his head into your neck and hugging you tightly.

"Let’s go, sweetie. I’m done with this man.”

As you went away the little boy who was wrapped around over your shoulder waved with his short hands to Andy. To Nikolai, Andy was the one who had the coolest car and made the best lemonade (which he had when he was made to wait for his mom). He never really understood the intensity of adults’ arguments. He was just a grateful child.

It was only then Andy realised he had to make it up to you by any means for he stood there alone feeling like a real douchebag with a paint can in his hands.

—

Part 2

—

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