#was it even worth being born in the first place?
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tabiito · 3 hours ago
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DEBÍ TIRAR MÁS FOTOS II — hard launching with the blue lock boys after a rumour includes: isagi, barou and nagi read part 1 note: chat it's actually oliver who's the close source for barou
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Shouei Barou, who's offended that he's linked with anyone other than you
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You can hear Barou's disgruntled "The fuck?", as you're towelling yourself dry in the bathroom. Since there are a million things on God's green Earth that could elicit such a reaction from your neurotic boyfriend (including the state of the bathroom right now, with your various cosmetic products strewn about the place), you don't pay him much mind and go about your merry business.
That is, until you barely have half a second to cover yourself when he dramatically throws the door open and shoves his phone in your face. Shrieking, you attempt to push him out, but thanks to him being built like a brick wall, he doesn't budge.
"Have you seen this drivel?", he seethes, as you sigh, grabbing his phone and scanning the headline that was beginning to catch the eyes of the internet. Your lips curl upward, amused at how you'd and the entire team had been conveniently cropped out of the photo, focusing only on Barou and the lovely girl you'd met while picking him up from work.
"And?", you prompt, taking this less seriously than he is. "How could they even think of launching me with someone other than you?", he rages, feeling personally wronged as though they'd posted him with Isagi rather than a model was very clearly taken. You do a double-take at his words, feeling a soft smile creep up your face at his words, contrasting it with his furious expression.
The decision to keep your relationship private hadn't been one you had consciously taken; the nature of your public oriented careers had made the both of you discreet individuals when it came to your private lives. Perhaps you had done too good of a job sneaking around, since Barou, who solely alternates between training, matches, and his apartment caught a rumour in the rare time he'd been dragged along for a quick breakfast by the staff.
Barou fumes on about how you were the only person worth his "royal time" and other schizophrenic ramblings about the monarchy you'd wish he leaves on the pitch sometimes. The paws of his grubby agent are all over this; the man was constantly begging Barou to develop a more "family friendly" and "relatable" image in the name of PR. Glancing at your softened expression, Barou can't help the wicked smirk that crosses his face as he fishes his phone out of your hands.
If his agent wanted PR, he'll give it to him.
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Yoichi Isagi, who can't help but exhibit strategic brilliance both on and off the field
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Isagi's contract negotiations with BM were a little tense this time around. Sure, he was indebted to the club that had cultivated him since he was a young prodigy fresh out of Blue Lock, but in his prime, the German squad, now with Noel just as a coach couldn't quite match his style of play to the level he liked. So naturally, when the superstars of Madrid, where football legends are born, came calling, everyone expected him to instantly terminate his commitment and take the first flight to Spain.
Or so they thought. What they did not expect though, is for Isagi to hesitate, even slightly. Ever improving, adapting, constantly in search of more opportunities Isagi, for the first time, exhibited reluctance in his footballing career.
You thought it was absurd, though you certainly couldn't tell the man who was not his usual slur-shouting self, and instead emulating a rather tame house cat as he propped his laptop on his knees, head in your lap reviewing footage from his last match.
You tsk, pointing at the clear moment where he'd allowed Barcha to break through their defence.
"That should've been a clear red. Too bad the ref's been tapped since, like, forever," you shrugged, clicking your tongue. Isagi's eyes light up as you speak nodding along excitedly.
"Right? And I thought I was the only one! This new UEFA rule is so fuckin' stupid though, I swear that jackass was about to book me for arguing," he grouses, and you can't help the giggle that escapes your lips at the litany of profanity that seems to lace itself into Isagi's vocabulary whenever he talks about football.
"They completely narrowed the centre of the field for you guys. Forced you to pass wide and Schneider didn't even attempt to move forward. He could've completely shifted the midfield around," you add, and you notice Isagi furiously typing your words down.
As the child of a footballing icon, the sport's been in your blood since the very start. Though it wasn't in your fate to pursue it, you've always had a keen eye and an opinion that wasn't hampered by the yes-man group psychosis that inhabited a locker room, so it was only natural that Isagi would seek you out the first time you critiqued his trivela during training.
"Why are you typing all of this down?", you groan, tugging at his hair ever so slightly so he hisses in pain. "You won't need this for the next season," you grumble, and he snaps the laptop shut, flipping over so that he's looking at you with those stupidly large blue eyes of his.
You squint back down at him, sighing. "You need to sign that Madrid contract already. This is what you've been preparing for all your life," you say softly, as his fingers find yours, interlinking.
He grimaces, and you can see him internally tussling with his thoughts. His face has always had subtitles. "Yeah, but there's my whole life in Münich: you, the guys — "
You can't help but roll your eyes at his words, but also appreciate the sentiment nonetheless. "Please. You didn't bat an eyelid running into a mental facility for an unspecified amount of time without telling your parents to improve your game in Japan. I'm sure a two-hour flight distance is nothing for you."
He opens his mouth, but you interrupt him quickly.
"And don't tell me all of a sudden that you've developed an emotional attachment to Kaiser."
He slowly shuts it and you smirk in response.
"I'm going to be there with you every step of the way," you promise, and he simply flops back into your lap, inhaling your familiar fabric softener. "You've outgrown us now. You're meant for bigger things, Yoichi," you prod, and when he looks back up at you, you can see that he's made his decision.
Fast forward to the Champion's League final. You've put aside your petty irritation at the fake news an Instagram model decided to spread a day prior to the match by jumping on the clout bandwagon to finally make an actual appearance at one of Isagi's matches, much to the annoyance of your father.
You're seated on the opposite ends of where you usually sit, proudly sporting white and purple that clashes with the red and black that sneers at you from the BM stands, screaming Isagi's name til you go hoarse. You'd gotten some weird looks from those who knew of you, but you completely lost track as Madrid cooked Münich in a thrilling 90 minute rollercoaster. With Isagi proudly sporting the heavy champion's gold medal around his neck, you can't help yourself as he motions to you to join him on the field. Skipping over the barriers, he catches you in his arms, laughing ecstatically for thousands to see as confetti showers from above.
He wouldn't have made this move if it wasn't without your go-ahead, so he rightfully slides the medal of his neck, sliding it on you as you gape at him in awe. Snapping a quick picture, he posts his true appreciation for you much later into the night, when the music and crowd dies down and it's just him and his thoughts, laying any useless rumours to rest.
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Nagi Seishiro, who's down a little too bad
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Nagi's baffled at how you can sound so chirpy despite a 9-hour time difference over FaceTime. Along with the mechanics of Azir, your affinity for early mornings remains one of the great mysteries of the universe for Nagi.
As you ramble on about your day, along with your first professional game that you played as a part of Worlds qualifiers, Nagi finds himself being slowly lulled off to sleep. You couldn't possibly blame him, right? His bed was so inviting, and it was 1AM in London after all.
"Hey! You better be listening to me!", you protest, and Nagi's eyes flutter open, losing the warm embrace of sleep he was so desperately chasing.
"Huh? Oh. Yeah, hmm I was," he sighs, rolling over in his bed. Somehow it was taking him much longer to fall asleep in an empty room.
"Really? What was the last thing I said?"
"Er. Something about trying a matcha latte," he mumbles, knowing he's skipped larger portions of the conversation. You, however, seem to have a worse short-term memory than him as you proceed to repeat the entire incident back to him. He doesn't particularly mind, considering the calming influence your voice has on him.
Once again, he's just about to fall into dreamland when you snap him back to reality.
"Your manager called me by the way. I haven't returned her call. Do you have any idea why?", you ask, and he hums. He does remember something she was ranting to him about during today's PR briefings.
"Uhh, I think it was about me being shipped with someone," he says, trying to recall the name. You blanche on camera, your eyes widening as he names some generically popular streamer who everyone in the world watches, but apparently Nagi watched with a special interest.
"What the fuck? How come they confused one of my lives with somebody else's?", you groan, as you scrolled through the hashtag that had already begun shipping Nagi and the other streamer together.
"Does it bother you?", Nagi asks simply, propping the camera up since he realises that he's not going to be in for much sleep tonight when you start reading out the comments that have flooded gossip pages across the net.
You pause mid-rant, choosing a minute to think. The first time you and Nagi had started talking, it was clear that this was going to be a private relationship. You were already an overworked E-sports player, and Nagi, a global footballing phenomenon, had initially taken to your streams to figure out some decent plays. The last thing you needed was the internet on your ass.
But this rumour in particular though, hit a little too close to home. You'd made it two years in without an inkling of suspicion for the both of you (even though you chose him in FIFA a little too much, and he'd accidentally made a half-body cameo in one of your streams when he walked in and picked up your cat), and at this point you'd rather have him linked to you than some streamer, who was, in reality in a very loving relationship.
"I guess. It's not like we can do anything without PR's approval, though," you say exasperatedly, and Nagi doesn't like the way your chirpy tone drops to a more flat and dull one.
"Ah, this is such a hassle. Hold on."
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a/n tbh I'm not happy with how any of these turned out but something's better than nothing 😜😜😜
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turtleblogatlast · 8 months ago
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Leo learns something about himself 🏳️‍⚧️
Based roughly on this old post.
Bonus:
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[Leo is taking the fact that he was born biologically female simultaneously very well and also not so well but overall he’s mostly coping with the fact that it was Draxum that just essentially gave him the turtle equivalent of ‘The Talk’.]
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#trans leonardo#trans leo#rottmnt headcanons#turtle art tag#rise draxum#happy pride everyone~#if you’re wondering why there’s no backgrounds that’s because my files got messed up so just blankness in the bg sorry#but yeah!#this is forever and always my fav headcanon for Leo it makes too much sense to me#I wanted to make sure I got it done in time for pride haha#I don’t know if it’s obvious by the end but Draxum ran off because he was for once doing something nice for Leo#that being leading him somewhere else not in front of everyone so Leo can process the fact that he was born female in peace haha#(but he also just - wanted to avoid the ensuing awkward Talk as long as he could lol)#“how would Leo NOT know’’ he had an inkling but never thought much of it because he’s a teenage turtle mutant with no access to healthcare#also yeah that’s splinter’s hand at the end there I just KNOW he’d want those pics#also also - Leo here can technically be trans or even intersex in some way too#both is good#making this made me remember why I never do color#at least for comics#it just takes sooo long#but it was fun and worth it for my fave hc#this is like the first time I’ve drawn Draxum and man he’s kinda hard to draw#also their sizes are just 1 2 and 3 because Draxum had a simple system in place for sizing his subjects#(aka I was too lazy to think of anything else to put there)#also dunno if anyone noticed but look at Raph’s paper and look at his baby’s self’s photo
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kavehayati · 7 months ago
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Chappel Roan saying she’s sad she’s demisexual and then there’s me being aroace as a whole like don’t you think I’m even more sad 😭
#not saying she’s not allowed to feel sad at all#just makes me think about myself LOL#I hate being aroace it’s like everyone’s part of a secret club I will never be a part of#and that people don’t tend to understand and if they do they never uphold that fact#like I actually have thrown up before from the concept of being in a relationship because it’s horrifying#and disgusting to me in a practical sense#like I don’t want to throw up every time I start thinking about those things I just want to be normal#and not panic like a relationship sounds like even worse than a death sentence#ppl think aroace is cute and problem free but it’s literally so uncomfortable and inconvenient when you’re in a world which a) doesn’t#understand wth aroace is b) doesn’t respect it at all c) has shit povs on what friendship is and how it can be more fulfilling than somethin#and d) how badly it impacts some ;-; like ik it sounds easy but try telling yourself omg I want to have a forever bestie#but then said forever bestie will never end up truly putting you first because they’d have a partner who will be their number one#and as usual you won’t even be second place you will be last like always#because I’ve noticed that the moment ppl get a partner suddenly they become their forever bestie role and then I can’t have that cause it#freaks me out and disgusts me all at once so I’m literally just cursed with forever feeling lonely and not meaning anywhere near as much to#someone who you wish could even look your way the way you do to them …#honestly by the day these reminders make me feel more and more aplatonic but it’ll simultaneously always feel like a hole in my heart#because apparently being aroace is like being some weird person and some freak#and not in the 𝒻𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀𝓎 type of connotation LMAO I mean just plain freak#and then that loneliness will always accumulate and accumulate and accumulate until I physically cannot handle it anymore or I take matters#into my own hands and just off with her head to myself LMAO#dora daily#and that is why despite aroace being cool to me it’s just not placed in an environement which makes it cool#as those assholes tend to say oh meh meh meh you never struggled girl … we’re in the 21st century every person in the lgbt community is#living the life dating who they want and being with who they want#but allegedly it is but a crime I can’t like anyone and that nobody fucking listens to me when I say I have an attraction deficit#and that they take it upon their hands to define what I’m attracted to or head canon me as whatever they are#I swear I’m not even fucking worth that shit just leave me alone 😭#I promise like if I was with somebody they will regret the day they were born by being with me LOL I am not all that in fact me being aroace#is saving them from torture ☠️ anyways ! rant over :3
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bixels · 10 months ago
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Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.
Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).
Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.
Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.
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Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).
AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.
But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s
At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.
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sematarygirls · 7 days ago
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Okay but he’d fuck you so hard when they lose the Super Bowl after you spends an hour gloating about the eagles handing their asses to them!
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i saw this request and started giggling and kicking my feet omg. anon, i owe you my first born child. you are a GENIUS! (although, fair warning, i'm not great at writing smut. i hope this is okay <3) not proofread
cw: unprotected p in v, rough sex, mean rafe, slapping, degradation
Football tended to be a touchy subject between you and Rafe. Where you were a diehard Eagles fan, he wouldn't be caught dead rooting for them. After the Chiefs narrowly beat out the Eagles in the 2023 Super Bowl, Rafe wouldn't shut up for weeks about how "trash" the Eagles were. It drove you absolutely insane.
That's why, when the Eagles absolutely kicked ass this Super Bowl in a rematch against the Chiefs, beating them out at a whopping 40-22, you thought it was your well-deserved right to rub it in Rafe's face, much to his dismay.
One thing about Rafe is that gloating is only okay when he does it—much like a lot of other things (he's a very hypocritical guy), hence his growing anger when you wouldn't stop talking about how the Chiefs absolutely threw the game with all their fumbles, making jokes the whole time about how it seemed like they weren't even playing.
Another thing about Rafe? He tended to get violent when he was angry. With other people, this meant he'd kick their asses, but with you, it meant you were in for a long night of rough fucking to make him feel better and put you in your place for your "bratty attitude."
Though, if you tried to point out the hypocrisy with him finding your actions annoying when he had done the exact same two years prior, he would only get more annoyed and very, very defensive.
You'd learned at a very early stage in your relationship that some battles were not worth fighting with Rafe, and besides, you kind of liked it when he was all rough with you, manhandling and degrading you deliciously.
"Not so mouthy now, huh?" He taunted, pounding into you from behind. Each thrust pushed you forward a little bit, your face burying further into the pillows as you moaned. A sharp slap to your ass had you gasping, the pain sending a jolt of pleasure to your core that had you practically gushing around Rafe's thick length. You didn't know how long you'd been going at this with him, but he hadn't let you cum, nor had he let up the brutal pace.
"Look at you," he sneered. "Can't even think of anything to say back to me, huh? Thought you were gonna gloat all night about how the Eagles won." His words were cruel and biting, revealing the depth of his anger, which wasn't about the football game. It was more so about being challenged, his ego hurt after talking such a big game about how the Chiefs were going to dominate.
You couldn't form a coherent sentence. Your brain turned to mush as the only thing you could focus on were his rough hands on you and his length stretching your velvety walls. You could practically feel each ridge and vein of his cock as it slid back and forth, his tip nudging your cervix roughly with each pass.
"What happened to that smart mouth, huh?" He mocked. "Your dumb little brain's too desperate for cock, huh, bunny," he cooed, his tone patronizing as he continued to pound into you with rough strokes, making your back arch and eyes roll back.
He was so mean, but you loved it.
He was right. You couldn't respond to him anymore. You had lost your ability to form a single word, dumbed down to a mess of please sounds as he hit that sweet spot inside of you so perfectly. He took that as a victory, seeing it as proof that you knew your place. He loved it when you whimpered underneath him, completely at his mercy. "Look who's behaving now. You're lucky you're so pretty, honey," he continued, enjoying this little game of his. "Otherwise, I wouldn't put up with such a bratty mouth."
"Fuuuuuck," he groaned, giving your ass another sharp smack before his hands found your hips again, his grip bordering on painful. "And this fuckin' love this pussy. Fuckin' perfect, baby."
He was getting close. You could tell by the way his pace started to falter, and his words switched from degrading to praising. One hand slipped down to your clit, rubbing firm circles. Even when he was pissed, he still tried to make you cum first.
It didn't take much more effort on his part. Your thighs were already trembling, desperate for release from the moment he'd thrown you onto the bed and ripped your clothes off.
"You're gonna be a good girl now, huh? You're gonna stop being such a pain in the ass, aren't you?" He questioned, punctuating each question with a thrust. "No more running your mouth and riling me up, right?"
"Uh huh," you whined pathetically, needy and desperate to cum.
He knew he had you right where he wanted you, all pliant and begging. "Yeah, you gonna stop talking back, huh? You can be a good little bunny for me, can't you?" He cooed, his words sounding a little bit less harsh. He was enjoying having you like this, completely at his mercy.
All you could muster was a weak nod, your fingers gripping the sheets and mouth parted in ecstacy as you reached your peak, blinding pleasure overtaking your body as your walls clamped down around his cock.
"That's it, baby, just like that," he groaned, pumping a few more times before pushing deep inside you and releasing spurts of hot, sticky cum into your eager cunt.
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mac-tirs · 5 months ago
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the usage of different types of english in elden ring
most human/tarnished NPCs we meet, like rogier, ansbach, and nepheli, use late modern english:
"a sorcerer, as you might have guessed. i'm looking for a little something, here in the castle. when i'm not hotfooting it from the troops, that is." - rogier, first meeting "general radahn. a pleasure to see you, after all this time. but those remains do not belong to you." - ansbach, upon summon for PCR
but older demigods like messmer, ranni, and morgott use early modern english:
"thou'rt tarnished, it seemeth. mother, wouldst thou truly lordship sanction, in one so bereft of light? yet… my purpose standeth unchanged." - messmer, pre-battle cutscene "thou needst not indulge them unduly, but they too wish to appraise thy worth. it hath been a passing long time since a newcomer entered my service, after all." - ranni, after agreeing to serve her
then there are the younger demigods, like miquella, malenia, and potentially melina, who use a later variant of modern english, similar to the tarnished NPCs we speak to:
"if we honour our part of the vow, promise me you'll be my consort. i'll make the world a gentler place." - miquella, post-PCR cutscene "the scarlet bloom flowers once more. you will witness true horror. now, rot!" - malenia, phase 2 transition cutscene
finally, the hornsent NPCs like the hornsent, hornsent grandam, and the hornsent spirits such as the one outside the whipping hut, who use late middle english similar to the english found in shakespeare's sonnets:
"fie, another? ... then, as that woman would surely say, we are in our purposes well aligned. but understand. your kind are not forgiven. the erdtree is my people's enemy. by marika long betray'd, set aflame." - hornsent, first meeting "all your resentment lingers yet... the raw stuff from which i shall surely forge a curse. upon the dastard messmer's head. upon marika's children each and all." - scorched ruins hornsent spirit
i find it interesting how different the usage of english is in the game, and i feel that it can be a hint on how to properly date an individual's occupation in the lands between/land of shadow. the hornsent, being a people much older than many in the lands between, use the most archaic version of english, while the tarnished and younger demigods use a form of english more closely related to our own in the current period. older demigods (and marika herself, as heard from melina's recounts of marika's spoken echoes) use a form of english more closely related to the period of transition from middle english to early modern english.
additionally, another interesting thing to me: mohg is almost certainly nearly the same age as morgott (since they're referred to as twins), yet he speaks a little differently compared to morgott:
"tarnished, thou'rt but a fool." - morgott, post-battle dialogue "dearest miquella. you must abide alone a while." - mohg, pre-battle cutscene
this makes me wonder if it's possible that, assuming that miquella's verbiage is indicative of his younger age in comparison to the older demigods (aka the demigods born before the marika/radagon union), miquella's charm altered mohg's perception enough to also alter his manner of speaking and carrying himself in some way. if his pursuit of finery (dressing in embroidered robes and handling himself with poise, juxtaposing his bestial growls and strength) was mainly done in an effort to fit into miquella's ideal of a consort. of course, mohg could just be as vain as he seems to be all on his own accord, but i find that it's interesting to entertain the idea that even his current state of being was due to miquella's charm.
i'd love to hear what others think about this. i'm not very learned when it comes to english (it's not really my first language), but i find this all very cool to think about.
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pixiepipedreams · 21 days ago
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♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ — distant flickerings, greener scenery // in-ho x reader
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♡  ⁄  pairing: in-ho x reader, hints of gi-hun x reader ♡  ⁄  warnings & tags: fem!reader, canon-typical violence & death, obsessive behavior, lying/manipulation, age gap (reader is 20-22, in-ho & gi-hun are late 40s, early 50s) ♡  ⁄ wordcount: 4.2k ♡  ⁄ summary: after losing your mom at 18, you move to south korea with your father for a fresh start. he incurs a lot of debt, and on the verge of losing your student visa, you enter the squid game. quickly adhering to gi-hun's group to increase your chance of survival, you gain the attention of the strange player 001... THIS IS PART ONE OF A SERIES!! (➋) (➌)
﹒˚ ₊ ︵﹒⊹ ๑ ︵︵ ๑ ⊹﹒︵ ﹒˚ ₊ ︵﹒⊹ ๑ ︵︵ ๑ ⊹﹒︵
Life is a series of bad decisions and dead-ends.
It's something you've tried not to believe, but your mother's misery had been infused into your bones, the code of your very being. Every day, you tried to bring more light to the world, to love even the little things - to love those little things even more, just for existing. Every shifting cloud in the sky, every gentle breeze, every moment has joy if you know where to look. As much as you love your mother, she only saw the worst in life. When she died, you were only 18, but it gave you a sense of freedom. You applied for a student visa to South Korea, wanting to live somewhere that would remind you the least of what you've lost. Your father moved with you, and things were okay, for a few years.
On the brink of losing your visa, and finding out your father has incurred a huge debt, you felt like you were running out of choices. Until a handsome man in the subways gave you an opportunity. You didn't know the game very well, but you managed to win a few rounds of ddakji, well worth the harsh slaps you received for losing even more. When he gave you a business card, a chance to earn more money, dig yourself out of the pit that threatened to swallow you whole... you hesitated.
Then your father got hospitalized. You couldn't take on his debt alone, let alone cover his hospital fees. So you called him. When you awake in a strange place, the number 132 written on a green tracksuit you don't remember putting on, you get the sinking feeling that you made the wrong choice.
Your mother's voice rings through your head when the first game starts, and player 456 shouts to everyone that these games could cost your life. He sounded insane, but the bundle of dread in your stomach was impossible to ignore. You believed him.
And then the first person died.
You were one of the first to make it past the finish line, ushering as many people as you could through. It wasn't enough. You have to tear your eyes away from the bloody bodies littering the field, feeling sick. But at least there's the sky, above you. Blue and bright and beautiful, like hope itself. The wind moving the sparse clouds makes you feel both small and big, like maybe you could make it. You're only in your early 20s, you still have so much life to live.
The vote gets announced in the dormitories, and when it's your turn at the button, you have no clue what the correct path is. Player 044's words play in your mind - The time and place of each one of your deaths was decided from the instant you were born. There's no changing it now. No matter how hard you try to fight it, you'll never be able to escape your fate. Your hand hovers, then you press 'O'. One more game.
The final player votes the same way as you, ensuring that everyone will play again. The 'X's are groaning, distraught, but some of them have the same fatalistic hope in their eyes that mirror your own. Your eyes find 456, noting his deep disappointment, almost to the point of despair. You feel a hint of guilt, but you know you're one of 183 people who voted the same. It would've been easier to assuage that guilt, though, if it wasn't such a close vote. Just one person could have changed the tides, shifted fate...
You feel compelled to approach him, but you're not the only one. You end up to the right behind player 001, the last person who voted. "You're the reason I ended up voting to stay. It's true. After the first game, I thought I was going to quit. And then I saw you, and I thought, 'One more game. Then I can go.'"
You freeze. Hadn't you thought nearly the same thing? Your mind buzzes, looking at the side profile of 001. He's older than you, like most of the people here, and you get struck by the feeling that you're too young to have ended up in a place like this. But if it wasn't you, maybe that recruiter would have found your father.
Maybe that was his initial plan, until your dad ended up in the hospital.
They're talking about the next game, how 456 played something called Honeycomb last time. The players in the crowd around the previous champion murmur in excitement at having a better chance in the next game. "It probably won't be the same game," you say quietly, almost to yourself. But everyone around you grows quiet, looking at you. You glance from 001 to 456, realizing everyone is waiting for you to continue. You clear your throat. "There's plenty of children's games, are there not? I'm sure they change it every time. They probably only keep Red Light, Green Light because it's easy, universal. It's the perfect way to introduce the true nature of these games. But everything else is probably different."
There's a murmur of agreement, but your eyes stay on 456. There's a hardness to his expression that doesn't match the deep smile lines that have formed over his life. He doesn't look surprised by the idea you'd presented. He must think the same thing, himself.
"You're American, aren't you?" 001 asks, drawing your eyes to him. Something about his gaze is intense, pinning you in place. You swallow, nodding, your spine straightening on instinct. You've been in South Korea for long enough to know their customs, and you know that those older than you are due a certain amount of respect. It's better to overdo it than do too little.
"That's right, sir. I'm here on a student visa," you say, ducking your head slightly, then meet his eyes again. His expression doesn't change, but somehow, you feel like he's looking at you differently. Sharper, somehow. Like he's taking you apart, piece by piece.
What the hell?
In-ho's quiet, for a long moment, but it's not because he has nothing to say. He has too much he wants to say - that you're too young to be in a place like this, that you must be at a disadvantage in this series of Korean children's games, that you're sharp in guessing that the next game will be different. He designed these games, he knows you're right. None of that should matter to him. He's here on a mission, to challenge Gi-hun at every turn, make him rethink his view of the world. Player 132 - he's sure if he thought long enough, he would remember your name, although he'd long since stopped memorizing every name in the files of players that cross his desk. But your eyes hold his in a way that tugs at him, makes him feel something different. He hasn't felt something new in years, not since his wife passed while he was in the games.
"You have a good point," he says with a slight nod. "Still, I hope you're wrong. It'd be nice, to have an advantage."
He finally breaks your gaze, and it feels like your insides have all been flipped around and turned over, like he'd looked over everything that makes you you. You look at the ground as he continues talking to 456. Eventually, the other players disperse, disappointed by what 456 had to say. You linger, though, leaning against the pole of a nearby bunk bed.
"Do you mind if I ask you a question? Why are you here? Why'd you come back again? You said you won the game, made it out. And that would mean you won 45.6 billion won. Did you spend all of it already?" 001 asks, eyes searching 456's expression.
"Did you start betting again?" 456's friend, 390, pipes up.
"That money doesn't belong to me. The ones who died in this place, that's their blood money. And the same goes for everything in there now," 456 says, his expression intense, like he's lived through years and years of this torture instead of 6 days. But that's what PTSD is, isn't it? The trauma persists past the actual event.
You frown, crossing your arms. That's a horrible way to think about it. Those people are already dead, aren't they? It's worse to not spend the money, after all that blood was spilled for it.
"What point is there in thinking about it like that?" 001 points out, surprising you again. "After all, it's not like you killed anyone yourself. And that way of thinking won't help bring any of them back to life."
"If you don't use that money, make a better life for yourself, it's a dishonor to their memory," you say quietly. "It's like they died for nothing."
456 stares at you like he's just been slapped. But 001... he looks at you with a hint of approval, and something else. Something like interest... or fascination. "If even one of you two had pressed 'O' like I told you to, we all could've left here alive!" 456 says harshly, a pot boiling over. "You could've saved everybody!"
"True. I was the last player to press 'O,'" 001 says quietly, drawing 456's attention and ire. "It wasn't just me, though. There's 182 other people who wanted to stay here."
"Yeah, and 182 more of them who wanted to get the hell out of this place!" 456 shoots back.
"If I hadn't pressed 'O'… If I'd hit 'X' and we'd all gone home, you think they'd appreciate what I'd done? If one of these people ran into me, years from now, do you think they'd say they were happy I voted to go? That they ended up with a great life after all?" 456 falls silent, watching him like he's remembering something.
Silently, you agree with 001. You're all here because you're in dire straits, and the winnings from the first game wouldn't have been enough to make a dent in most people's debt.
The conversation continues, and when Dae-ho approaches and introduces himself, you lay down on a nearby bed, lost in thought.
Time passes - you're not sure how much, with no clocks or sun to go by. The scenery of the large dormitories isn't appealing, and doesn't have anything you'd normally focus on to remind yourself of the little joys of life, so you resort to people-watching. The mother and her son, in quiet discussion, a small group talking and laughing about nothing in particular, the annoying guy with the purple hair...
You sit up, eyes going wide as you watch him throw a punch at the MG Coin guy. The scuffle goes on, and you get to your feet, having half a mind to step in and tell them to stop being idiots, but then player 001 is approaching them.
"Hey, kids. What makes you think you can behave like that? Especially while people are eating. And in front of your elders too. It's bad manners, not to mention it's two against one. Shame on you guys." Your eyes are glued to 001, the restrained power in his stance. You can't see his face, but you can picture it - that calm, cold expression, the intensity in his eyes. You know there's more to him than meets the eye, but you can't put a finger on it.
"You're in here just like everyone else. So cut the lecture… Grandad. How about instead of yip-yapping at me, you go back home to your own kids, you yell at them?" the purple-haired guy - Thanos, if you remember right - makes a talking hand gesture at 001, and you find yourself holding your breath.
"What did you say?" 001 replies coldly, but there's a hint of fire beneath it.
"I said, save the lecture for your own kids!" Thanos laughs, but is cut off by 001 putting a hand on the nape of his neck. "Hey, get your fuckin--"
He's cut off by a cry of pain as 001 does something with his grip that makes him fall to his knees. You watch as he takes down the two guys like it's nothing, barely breaking a sweat, and a cold chill runs down your spine even as you feel an electric tingle over your skin. Who is he? There it is again, that hint to something more, some large piece of the puzzle of his character that you're missing. It's compelling, but there's also a hint of danger. You make a mental note not to get on his bad side.
Your mind swirls as everything settles down again, and before it's time to turn the lights out, you walk over to 456, sitting down on a step next to him.
"You've really played these games before?" you ask after a moment of silence, glancing at him. You can feel the rift between you two, the 'O' on your chest and the 'X' on his. 456 is quiet for a moment, then nods. "Why would you come back, then? I know you said you didn't want to spend the money... so you don't need more. There must be a reason."
456 sighs. "These games change you. I can't imagine living a normal life, after everything I went through here... I tried. But I couldn't forgive myself if I didn't try to prevent these games from continuing."
It's your turn to fall silent. "Stopping the games doesn't change much, at the end of the day. Some of these people's debts are so bad that they've waived their bodily rights. At least here, they have a chance to try and pay it off, make an honest life for themselves," you say finally, your voice gentle.
456 looks back at you with a complicated expression. "I know. When I joined these games the first time, I'd done the very same thing."
You stare at him, eyes searching his face. There's traces of a happier man in the sorrow with which he holds himself. The smile lines, the crinkles by his eyes. Winning these games only made him miserable. They changed who he was. You can read it, plain as a book, the man he used to be. "Getting rid of these games doesn't change the way the world works. With that kind of money... the money you won, you could actually try to change things in the real world. So nobody would be desperate enough to end up in a place like this." You shrug. "But maybe that's impossible, too. I hope you do, though. Change things. That's a cause I can get behind."
You stare at each other, like you're coming to a quiet understanding. He nods a little, his lips still a permanent frown. You wonder what his smile used to look like, what his laugh sounded like.
You wonder if winning these games would turn you as miserable, as haunted, as he is now. "(Y/N)," you say quietly. He just blinks. "My name. I want to fight by your side. I think... remembering that we're human is an important step."
There's a flicker of something in his expression, and you can almost see the smile that haunts his face, the joy of a more innocent man. He nods softly. "Gi-hun," he replies, his shoulders loosening slightly. It's a start.
"Gi-hun," you reply, smiling at him. "Try to sleep tonight. We'll all need our strength tomorrow."
You leave the sad man to his ghosts and his thoughts, taking a bed on a higher level, feeling safer with some distance between you and the rest of the players. When the lights go out, you curl up under the thin blanket. There's enough people in the dormitory that it's not cold, but you're not exactly warm either. You manage to fall asleep, but it's light, restless, and you wake up after only an hour at most. You stare up at the ceiling, then turn on your side, counting the tiles on the wall. There's black shapes in the tiles that you can't entirely make out, images that are indecipherable with so many beds in the way.
There's the sound of shoes on metal behind you, and you turn on the bed, looking up to see player 001 standing above you. There's something in his eyes, almost like he'd just been... crying? It doesn't make sense, but neither does a lot of things about him.
"001," you say quietly, relaxing the shoulders you hadn't realized were tense. "Can't sleep?"
He hesitates, then takes a seat on the step by your head, clasping his hands. "Haven't tried, yet. I don't sleep well, anyways."
You nod, stretching your legs under the covers, and sit up, facing him. "Yeah. I fell asleep, but it didn't last. My dad always says I got my insomnia from him," you say with a small laugh. It feels weird, to laugh in a place like this, but it comes naturally to you. Trying to lighten the mood, to find little spots of light in the darkness. Fireflies in the night.
001 gives a small smile, a little crinkle of the eyes revealing that it's a genuine one. "Are you close with your father?" he asks, tilting his head. Curious. You hesitate, then shrug.
"Everyone growing up said I looked just like him. I used to have his attitude problem. Still do, sometimes," you say, brushing your hair behind both ears. "I moved here, to South Korea, with him. But... no, I'm not really close with him anymore." And yet, you came here for him - for his debts, to take care of his hospital bills. You'll always love him, despite the fact that his own actions sent you here, to this hell. He should be the one taking care of you, not the other way around. You can feel the injustice, the anger that secretly simmers under the surface, but you take a deep breath, smiling at him.
The man just stares at you, his often emotionless eyes studying you, like he wants to pick apart your mind. "And your mother?"
Emotion threatens to overtake you, a lump in your chest forming, and you swallow, looking away. It feels like a lot, to share with this relative stranger. It's been a few years since your mother passed, but it feels like longer. At the same time, it feels like she could call you at any moment. The silence grows, and he finally murmurs, "I see." You stare out at the room, feeling miles away. Relationships with parents is always complicated, and before she passed, it wasn't perfect between you two. But you'd do anything to have her back. "I only ask because... well. You're just so young. You really shouldn't be here."
You bristle, slightly, though you know he's right. "We all have our reasons," you mutter. You can't blame your father, entirely - although, if he hadn't acquired a pile of debt, he would be able to help you keep your student visa.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to strike a nerve," 001 says gently. "I'm worried, that's all."
You huff a breath, hands fidgeting to pop your fingers. "Thank you for your concern, sir, but I chose to be here, didn't I?" The 'O' on both of our chests is evidence of that.
"Young-il," he says after a beat. "You don't have to call me sir. We're all equals here." You finally look back at him, surprised that he offered up his name. Another piece to the puzzle. "I'm surprised you voted to stay. You're American, you probably won't know most of the games."
You smile humorlessly, shaking your head slightly. "They explain the rules for each one, don't they? And... well, I think I only need one more game to have enough. It won't cover everything, but... it'll get me far enough." You try to believe it. You don't know if you have the stomach to play more than one game. "I'm (Y/N). By the way." A sign of peace, a quiet alliance. Just like with Gi-hun earlier, it eases the air between you.
Another moment of quiet, the only sound the quiet breathing and snores of the hundreds of players in the room. "(Y/N)," he says softly, almost to himself. "Well, you have me, too. I'll help you, if there's a confusing one."
You eye him curiously, then smile, a warm, gentle thing. He doesn't take his eyes off of you, smiling back. Like Gi-hun, he looks like someone who hasn't smiled in years, but more like... he's forgotten how. It warms you to him.
"Thank you. Young-il," you say, reaching over to squeeze his arm. He looks taken aback, surprised, but his smile deepens, settling somewhere in his irises.
You take your hand back, fidgeting with the blanket. "So... what do you do for fun? When you're not playing children's games," you say, a hint of humor in your tone as you try to keep the mood light.
It works - he gives a small chuckle, running a hand through his hair. "Me? I read... enjoy art. I feel like I don't have a lot of fun these days, though," he says, his tone almost contemplative. Like he hadn't even considered fun in a long time. "And what about you?"
You hum softly, fingers dancing in a pattern as they tap the bed beside you. "I like dancing, and music. I read a lot - fiction, mostly. I do enough learning in university." You list off a couple more things, the silly things you do to occupy your day. "If it's a bad day, I usually take a walk in the park. Try to remember the little things that fill the world with joy."
His expression grows warmer, almost soft with each thing you say. "That sounds lovely," he murmurs, his expression almost wistful. He's hard to read, his expression so detached when he's not smiling, but he seems almost open now. Almost. "And dancing, huh? I'll admit, I haven't danced in a long time. I was never any good at it." He gives a wry chuckle, but you grin, eyes twinkling.
"It's better when you're no good at it. Just as long as you don't let yourself get embarrassed. It's good, to move your body, to just feel." You wonder if you'll ever dance again like that - carefree, uncaring about what anyone thought. "I'm surprised, by the way, that you didn't say you take martial arts classes. That move you pulled earlier, with Thanos... it was impressive, skilled." Your tone is nonchalant, but you analyze him for any possible reaction. Wanting to understand him.
He doesn't give one. "I've taken some. For self-defense, mostly. But not really for fun. I know what you mean, about moving your body. That's what fighting was, for me. But it'd be nice to move in a less... restrained way."
It's an almost disarming answer, and it makes something in you soften. You almost offer to dance with him, when you get out of here, but then you remember that he must be a couple decades older than you. You smile though. "You should try it sometime."
You chat for a little longer, but you can feel a weariness settle inside you, now that you're more relaxed. Something about his company is comforting, familiar. It almost makes you forget where you are. It's only when you notice a matching exhaustion in his eyes that you say something.
"You need to get some rest," you say softly.
"So do you," he points out, eyes tracing over your face once before reaching your eyes again. "You only got a little bit."
You hesitate. You do feel tired again, but the moment you're alone, you know that racing thoughts will prevent you from succumbing to your body's needs. "Would you sit with me?" you blurt out, then feel embarrassed. But it's too late to take it back. "Just... until I fall asleep. It's easier, with someone else here."
You have no reason to trust In-ho so quickly. The bonds formed in these games are as concrete as they are breakable, he knows this. He can tell, already, how full of life you are, and he has to fight to keep the thought away - she shouldn't be here. You were right, everyone chose to be here, including you. You voted to stay. But something in him does care, as much as he doesn't want to. And, very quickly, he finds himself wanting to save you, keep you alive. Keep you by his side. Your request only fuels that ember inside him, stoking it, and soon a flame will be coaxed. He has had nothing to want to protect in so long, so many years, and it dismantles him. Makes him feel like the man he once was, the man he's pretending to be.
"Okay," Young-il says quietly, giving her a soft smile, scooting closer to her on the step he's sitting on. You lay down again, on your side, facing him. On impulse you reach out, placing a hand on his wrist. He hesitates, then rests his hand on the bed, letting you curl our hand around his jacketed wrist.
You ignore the strange feeling in your chest, letting your eyes slip shut, relaxing fully for the first time since you got here. "Thank you," you murmur, and you can already feel the fuzz of sleep creeping up on you. His hand slides into your hair, gently massaging your scalp, and it might be the best thing you've ever felt.
It doesn't take long. And this time, your rest is peaceful.
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harmoonix · 7 months ago
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west side
Astrology Observations
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Do you ever have a hard time to accept some planets or signs in your birth chart? Personally i have a hard time to accept my scorpio placements because they are not so easy to have in ones chart
Venus in the 1H, 5H and the 11H are the most outgoing placements for Venus! Social, creative, charming! they got all the plate
Moon aspecting Mercury in good aspects can be liked for their personality and the vibe they give to others
A Fire rising in your mars persona chart can indicate a desirable person, or someone people love to have to around
Lilith in the 2H, 6H, 10H can often charm people with their bossy atittude, they have a specific earthy energy
People with LIlith In air signs can often use dirty words while they are talking and sometimes dirty words are in their everyday dictionary
Venusian Moons (Libra and Taurus Moon) can have a pleasing voice and personality, often they can have a seducing aura
Aries Risings tend to have extremely beautiful relationships thanks to their 7H Libra, is honestly such a beautiful energy
Neptune aspecting ascendant natives can not always see their worth! They are very worthy people but tend to fall under certain stereotypes which can bring them down
Leo Lilith and Leo Rising both need to recieve attention in order to feel loved. They need to be feel seen to feel like they are worthy for you
If someone has their mercury in the same sign as your venus, you can often get compliments from them!! or to be praised by them
I feel like people with a taurus rising dont always realise their beauty, they are so modest and nice when people appreciate their beauty
People who have 11H placements often have the desire to change the world somehow or to make the world in a better place
Chiron in Scorpio or in the 8H can talk about how deeply the natives needs are, they can become needy of certain things or people
You can always tell the majority of zodiac signs someone can have in their chart based on the season they are born, for example people born in spring will mostly have planets in aries and taurus and sometimes even gemini, someone born in winter can mostly have lots of planets in sagitarrius pisces aquarius and so on
Aries Venus/mars and lilith are always full of energy! they can struggle with being stubborn though because when have a plan or an idea, they have to finish it
People with mars in libra, cancer and virgo can be the submissive ones in a relationship but without that toxic "dominant and submissive" thing, is just their energy to not rule but to help the ruler
People with an earth sign in their 8H love intimacy and in the same time will keep it priviate from others, usually those people who are shy to others but the most sexual beasts to their partners
Gemini rules over the hands/nails, gemini placements can have really gorgeous hands and nails naturally
If you have your moon between 0 and 9 degrees , your moon has a new energy which can indicate that is more active, more sensitive, more curious, they are little explorers from a young age
I think i said this more times in my observations but if you have Pisces or Libra placements, do not start a relationship until you dont learn how to love yourself first, because you can end up hurt,
People with Saturn in Libra or the 7H can actually become more mature while in a relationship, is like their partners can open their eyes and teach them how to be more mature
i started to love my 7h Saturn honestly, i have it at 0 degrees in my siedereal chart and is honestly an indictor that i dont have to rush love relationships at all. my mom tells this everytime, love will find a way in your life when you least expect it
Aquarius and Capricorn Moons in my opinion are so loyal they will keep everything private but still being loyal and loving to you, they are honestly so sweet
Usually mercury in fire signs can be a bit harsh in love relationships, they have a harsh humour which not everyone can understand, deep dark humour jokes
If is something im not sure if is accurate about astrology and birth chart is probably those asteroids that are related with genitals.. like you cant tell about someones genitals just by looking at some asteroids
Aquarius and Scorpio in the 4H, 12H house can talk about a deep wound connected with your family or close relatives, if someone hurt you from your family you can easily cut them off
People with pluto or saturn aspecting south node can indicate having a dark past in the current and past lives
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littleprinceabdullah · 3 months ago
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"Born into Hope Amidst Destruction: Abdullah's Journey from Gaza"
Hello, I am little prince Abdullah, and I am a six-month-old baby from Gaza. I was born into extremely difficult circumstances amidst war and destruction. Let me tell you my story from the beginning.
Daddy, Mahmoud, is a young dentist, 25 years old. Mom, Abeer, is also a dentist, and they were eagerly awaiting my arrival (their little prince as they called me), dreaming of a bright future for me.
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My parents got married and moved into a new home, spending two joyful months there before everything changed drastically on October 7, 2023, when the war in Gaza began. Our home, and the clinic were all destroyed in an instant. They had to flee with only a few clothes, having nowhere else to go. The place that was supposed to be filled with love and laughter turned into rubble and ash.
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Mom endured her pregnancy amidst the war, without enough food, water, or medicine. As I grew inside her, I could feel the stress and fear that surrounded us. Mom often went without proper nourishment, sacrificing her own well-being to ensure that I had a chance to come into this world. Every night, she would cradle her belly, whispering prayers and promises of a better life, even as bombs fell around us. She dreamed of holding me in a safe place, free from the horrors of war, where I could grow up surrounded by love and peace.
Despite the chaos, dad and mom clung to the hope that I would be a symbol of a brighter future. They imagined my first smile, my first tooth, my first steps, my first words, and the joy of seeing me grow up in a home filled with laughter. But the reality was far from those dreams. Mom faced countless sleepless nights, worrying if she could bring me safely into a world that seemed determined to tear us apart.
When the time came for me to be born (6th, Apr.2024), there were no hospitals with clean beds, no doctors ready to ensure my safe arrival. My parents faced this moment with courage and a deep, unyielding love, praying that I would be born healthy despite the dire conditions. Each day inside my mom's womb, I felt her love and fear. I heard her heart beat fast when explosions echoed nearby, and I felt her tears when she thought about the uncertain future we faced. She whispered to me that I was her miracle, her reason to keep fighting, and she promised to do everything in her power to give me a life worth living.
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Now that I am six months old, my parents continue to face immense challenges. I have spent my first six months of life in a world of uncertainty and hardship. There are days when my parents struggle to find enough food and clean water for us. They do their best to keep me safe and healthy, but the lack of proper medical care and basic necessities makes every day a battle.
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My parents' love and determination are unwavering. They look at me with a mix of love and desperation, knowing they are unable to provide the comfort and security every baby deserves. Each day is a struggle for survival, and the joy of my birth is constantly overshadowed by fear and uncertainty. They dream of a world where I can play safely, have a warm bed to sleep in, and grow up healthy and happy. Instead, they face the harsh reality of war, where every moment is filled with anxiety and the haunting thought of what tomorrow might bring. Their only wish is to see me smile, free from the burdens that weigh so heavily on their hearts.
Here is daddy's account telling his own story: @mah99moud
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The pressures and burdens on our family continue to grow, so my parents decided to turn to the GoFundMe platform, seeking help from kind-hearted people around the world.
Your generosity can turn our darkest days into a beacon of hope. Please consider helping us rebuild our lives and give me a chance to experience the childhood every child deserves, and help my parents rebuild their lives. Please, help us restore hope for a better tomorrow and give me a chance to grow up in a world where dreams are possible, not destroyed. Every donation, no matter how small, will make a significant difference in our lives.
Thank you for your kindness and generosity.
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scififettuccine · 8 months ago
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Homelander x SupeTeen!Reader
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Idk ya'll Homie has really been getting on my nerves recently. I wasn't exactly sure where I was going with this one at first, but I LOVE the way it turned out. It was a doozy but it was SO FUN to write! This isn’t proof read just yet so please don’t yell at me💀
Summary: You meet your biological father for the first time at Vought Tower after your adoptive mother's unexpected passing...he's not exactly what you expected.
Word Count: 1.8k
Warnings: Homelander (Obviously), death of a parental figure, mentions of death, manipulation tactics, awkward parental conversations???
Being a Supe had never been easy for you, though, luckily you had never been forced to live in a lab. Soon after you were born, one of the Vought scientists had taken you in as her own, -due to the fact that your biological mother had died during childbirth- directly going against Vought's policies. She was found out eventually, to no one's surprise...but this breach in policy gave headway to a new experiment. So, she was allowed to keep you and raise you as her own. You were raised as any other child would be, but you were treated with extra caution...and being the only Supe in school wasn't exactly a cake walk. But the worst thing you had experienced was a little bullying, but your doting, caring, adoptive mother put an end to that rather quickly by talking with the school board. The first 15 years of your life were...tolerable, if not ideal. It was supposed to stay that way...until your mother was found dead at her place of work.
It had only been two weeks since your mother died. In those two weeks, you had been relocated and told, verbatim, that your father was one of the most iconic Supes in the world...Homelander. Now? You were sitting in The Seven's meeting room at Vought Tower, anxiously toying with the handle of the swivel chair you were sitting in. Part of you was still just...numb. Everything you had ever known had been ripped away from you seemingly overnight. Any other child would be over the moon...but you? You were just...detached. You were pulled out of the endless depths of your own thoughts when a voice echoed off the walls of the room.
"Hey there, kiddo!"
You looked up from your anxious fiddling, and were met with the blindingly white smile of your biological father. You did your best to give a convincing smile back, sitting up a bit straighter in your seat. His presence wasn't exactly the most comforting. He tilted his head to the side a bit when you didn't respond.
"You're Y/N...Right? Hopefully we didn't get the wrong kid...that would be awkward, wouldn't it?" Homelander asked with a laugh. He sort of stopped in the center of the room, looking you up and down, like he was trying to evaluate you...to decide your worth. You nod sheepishly.
"Yeah...yeah. That's me." It honestly didn't help that you were the age that you were...it made it more awkward somehow. Homelander didn't say anything for a moment, almost like he was waiting for you to say something else. When you didn't, he sort of chuckled.
"You're not very talkative, are you?" He asked. You had opened your mouth to respond, but he cut you off. "I guess that's understandable. Meeting your old man for the first time is no small feat..." He paused for a moment as he evaluated your expression. "I'm sorry to hear about your mom...tough stuff there, kiddo." You took a breath when he mentioned your mother. It was all so fresh...and there were so many things you had recently learned that she had never told you. You didn't even know she wasn't your biological mother until after she died.
"Mmm...Don't be sorry...not your fault."
Oh, the unknown irony of that statement.
Homelander let out a small scoff and frowned. Admittedly, the frown looked incredibly fake...almost like he was mocking you.
"Still...I can't imagine what you must be feeling. I mean, to find out that she was keeping so much from you...after she died...? That must pack an even worse punch." You sort of stiffened in your seat. You weren't exactly stupid...you could read his tone. He was hiding his insults towards your mother with a cruel, mock sympathy.
"She only did it to protect me...I know she did. She wasn't a bad mom, she was amazing, actually." You respond, almost matter-of-factly, your eyes glowing red ever so slightly. "I know raising a Supe couldn't have been easy for her...she had her reasons." It was incredibly hard to talk about your mother in any way, considering she had only died two weeks ago. Homelander sensed your tone, and put his hands up as he noticed the flicker of light in your eyes. It suddenly became clear to him that you couldn't control your powers, which almost made him smirk.
"Hey now, of course she was...Absolutely no hard feelings towards your mom...But I know I would have never kept things from you like that. And registering you at a public school, knowing you're a Supe? That's just...cruel." You were going to continue defending your mother...until he mentioned school. That was something you couldn't exactly convince yourself was a great move on your mom's part.
"School was...a different story. It was rough." You said, pulling your legs up onto the swivel chair so you could hold your knees to your chest. Homelander nodded as he took a few steps closer to you, his hands now at rest behind his back.
"So I've heard...I spoke to your therapist." That comment turned your stomach a bit. Wasn't everything you spoke about with your therapist supposed to be confidential? Homelander noticed the slight change in your expression. "Don't worry, Y/N...I didn't dig into any of the gritty teenager things..." He chuckled, "I was just curious to learn about your school situation. You're a sophomore now, right?"
"Yeah...I will be. In the fall." You said quietly. Homelander smiled, where he now stood beside your chair at the point of the uniquely shaped table.
"Well that's fun, isn't it?" He asked as he pulled out one of the other swivel chairs and pulled it towards him. "One more year and then you're one of the big dogs." You nodded, watching his movements as he sat down, facing you. Everything about him just seemed so...strange. Even the way he moved. It looked almost calculated...and was mildly unsettling.
"I guess..." You said quietly. You sighed as you rested your chin on your knees, grabbing onto the table to reluctantly turn your chair to face his...it was only polite.
"You don't seem too thrilled..." He started, his blue eyes meeting the identical set that you possessed, "Was school really that bad?" That was more of a rhetorical question on his part, he knew everything about you.
"The teasing sucks...They call me 'Laser Eyes'..." Homelander stifled a laugh when you said that, to which you narrowed your eyes.
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry!" He said with a chuckle, "That is the stupidest insult I've ever heard!" Homelander took a moment to stop laughing before he looked back to you. "Look. I'm not laughing at you, kiddo. I would never. But Laser Eyes...? Really? They couldn't come up with anything more original? I mean...Even I'd be hesitant to insult you considering you could just laser them in half." He said. His smile was almost manic looking.
"What?" You asked, almost dumbfounded. "I would never...I could never." You said. You pulled your chin off your knees, your eyes still narrowed.
"Why couldn't you? You're a Supe...aren't you? I mean...mommy swooping in and bribing administration to take disciplinary action against those little shit stains isn't exactly making you out to be the strongest person..." You almost immediately sat up correctly in your chair.
"She bribed the administration...?" You ask softly. Homelander gave a mock frown as he noticed your eyes become glossy.
"You didn't know? Gosh...How much was she keeping from you?" You swallowed as he spoke and tried your best not to cry. The last person you wanted to look pathetic in front of was Homelander...Especially considering his earlier comment about it not being a good look that your mom always had to swoop in and save you. "Awe..." He started, scooting his chair closer to yours. "Don't cry kiddo...It's not your fault that you're so lost...It's hers." Your eyes met his once again, a tear slipping down your cheek, which you quickly reached up to wipe away.
"Lost?" You ask. Homelander nodded.
"Well, most Supes your age, with your abilities usually already have a professional presence...Or at least know how to use their powers correctly." He said, tilting his head to the side ever so slightly. "I mean, had I raised you? Had you not been wrongfully stolen from me after you were born? You'd already have a place in the Supe community, followers...maybe even a contract with Vought. You wouldn't just be floating in your own little bubble...You'd have a group. A family." Something in you broke when he spoke. Your mother had stolen you from your biological father? And had he raised you, you wouldn't be so...you? So lonely and misplaced? You couldn't help the tears that slid down your cheeks. It was as if your entire life had been flipped upsidedown.
"She...S-she really kept all that from me?" You asked. Homelander tutted softly, almost pitying you. He stood up and held out his arms.
"Come here, kiddo..." He said softly, with a tone of empty sympathy. You almost immediately stood up and buried your head in his chest. At this point....What else did you have? Who else did you have? He chuckled softly as he wrapped his arms around you, his hug firm, considering he was so much larger than you...yet comforting, despite the strange material of his suit.
'It's alright, Y/N...You're right where you need to be. We'll get you up and running with those powers of yours in no time..." He said softly, resting his chin on top of your blonde hair. He caught the reflection of the two of you in the large window that lit the room and his grip tightened, almost possessively. "You're not alone anymore...got it? You've got your dad to keep you company..." You nodded against his chest, sniffling.
"Got it." You responded softly, hugging him a bit tighter. Maybe this wasn't so bad. Maybe Homelander, no, your father was what was best for you. How could you have been living in the dark for so long without realizing it...? You were truly lost. But everything was okay now. You were finally safe, in your fathers embrace.
Homelander smiled wickedly at his own reflection in the window before he rested his cheek on your head. Finally...he had you. His own child that he had been trying to get his bloody hands on for years...Losing another Vought scientist was a necessary sacrifice in the bigger picture of his perfect narrative...and it all started right here. With you. His child. He smiled as he pulled away from the hug, his hands gently squeezing your shoulders.
"How does a milkshake sound, huh? I know Planet Vought has a double chocolate one that's yummers." You smiled and nodded as he moved his thumb to wipe the tears from your cheeks.
"I love chocolate." You said with a small laugh. Homelander chuckled as he turned you towards the door of the meeting room and started walking, his firm hand on your shoulder urging you forward.
"I know."
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I hope ya’ll enjoyed! I left it open for more parts so totally let me know if you’d be interested in reading more. Writing for Homes is always a questionable adventure 💀 Until next time, Adieu!
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chuluoyi · 1 year ago
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✎ protect
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- gojo satoru x reader
the word “protect” now means so much more to him
genre: soft and playful gojo, sugary dump fluff, pregnant!reader
note: anyone craving some soft gojo? :3 based on a suggestion by an anon who needs a soft gojo a while back, thank you!
a part of gojo's love entries
general masterlist
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When he was 16, Gojo Satoru thought that protecting other people was a pain, and didn't take it seriously.
Later, when he realized that even non-sorcerers deserve to live their lives in peace, he dedicated himself to becoming stronger so that he would be capable to protect them more. However, even then, he didn't perceive their worth as significant.
But when you entered the picture, that measly, glorified word suddenly became so much more.
Usually people would only care about whether he had succeeded his mission or not. His formidable reputation as the epitome of strength means no one is genuinely interested in his wellbeing—no one after Suguru, to be exact—until you did.
After a whirlwind romance of attraction and banters, Satoru reached the conclusion that he wanted you, the only person left who actually made him feel like a human, to stay happy and safe. He would do it with his own hands, even if it meant reshaping this cruel world to be kinder for you with him as your shield.
And the word “protect” gained an entirely new meaning years later, when he rested his head on your swollen belly—the place where his new cherished treasure was growing.
“When will he come out~?” he asked in a whiny tone and a blissful smile, even though he clearly knew the answer.
You shook your head with playful resignation, unable to conceal your smile. "In three weeks. Now help me get comfortable, you dork."
He helped you turn over and fetched a pillow to place under your aching spine. Then, with a mischievous grin, he lightly poked your belly with two fingers, eliciting a yelp from you.
"Don't poke me! You're poking your child!"
To that, Satoru merely threw his head back and snickered like the dumbass he was. He then tenderly rested his hand on the taut skin of your belly, gently massaging it, smiling with ardent happiness.
"Can't really believe it," he sighed, brimming with the purest sense of contentment. "A mini Gojo, huh... You're really doing a honorable work."
A child of his and yours. He had always wondered how he would be after seeing him firsthand—would he laugh just like he had been doing now, or will it be the first instance that move him to the point of shedding tears? One of the reasons he eagerly anticipated his son's birth was just to discover how he would react.
Seeing the weight of his baby growing within you, making you rounder and fuller, stirred a deep well of warm emotions in him with each passing day though.
"I am," you retorted cheekily, rolling your eyes. "In fact, you should be revering and worshipping me for carrying your spawn."
He merely hummed in a childlike manner, feeling his baby move around under his touch. You were about to roast him again with something funny when he leaned down and planted a kiss on your tummy, whispering to it.
"Please come out already~ Papa wants to meet you!"
Your heart swelled with warmth at that moment. Gojo Satoru was many things, but he wasn't typically known for his softness—he was often seen as this all-perfect being, and so witnessing him acting purely on his human emotions brought you a sense of happiness.
“Who do you think he’ll take after?” you mused.
“Hmmm. Me, obviously. He'll be hot just like me!” he quipped proudly, and you playfully smacked him on the arm.
Satoru caught your hand and kissed it tenderly amidst his grin. "But I want him to have your personality. I'd hate to see him be a show-off."
"So you do realize that you're actually a menace."
He laughed out loud, patting the generous swell of your belly again with a smug look on his face.
"I know, but I'm your menace, and that's all that matters."
And when his adorable son was born less than three weeks later and you passed out due to sheer exhaustion, Satoru vowed by everything in the heavens and the earth that he wouldn't spare anything to protect you and his child from this curse-filled world.
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Epilogue - on the night of the birth -
“Satoru—” you panted, grimacing, head jerking back as your womb throbbed and pulsed in order to bring forth your child into the world. “I… feel like I’m going to faint…”
Worry etched his face as you leaned on him. “Hey, hey… Calm down sweetheart, relax and catch up on your breath, okay? Don’t worry, he’ll come out soon.”
Somehow his words rubbed you the wrong way.
“Hahh—this… is because of you! This happened because you shoved your stick into me! You horny bas—aahh!”
“Well, hey! Last I remembered, you begged me to put it into you! And I'm not—pfft—”
“Then what are you?!”
“Hmmm, nothing but a man who got you pregnant, sweetheart~”
“If I bleed out and die, it’s going to be your fault, you evil, wretched sorcerer!”
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secretmellowblog · 2 months ago
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Les Mis Hidden Name Meanings: "Fantine"
Every character's  name in Les Mis is either an elaborate pun or has some deeper symbolic thematic meaning — usually both at once. 
One example of this is “Fantine.” There’s a wealth of hidden meaning packed into to her name, and some of those meanings are explicitly discussed in the original novel. 
The name “Fantine” comes from the french word “enfantine,” meaning  “childike, infant-like.” Her name basically means “Baby.” And obviously this speaks to her innocence and naivety. But also “baby”  is kind of,.,, well, it sounds more like an informal term of endearment than an actual legal name?  
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And that’s because– Plot twist– Fantine isn’t her legal name!
 What is her legal name? She doesn’t have one. 
And the reason she doesn’t have one is directly tied to political turmoil of the era she was born into. 
Fantine grew up an orphan living on the streets, without a family without parents. Hugo tells us the origin of her name: 
“She bore on her brow the sign of the anonymous and the unknown. (...)She was called Fantine. Why Fantine? She had never borne any other name. At the epoch of her birth the Directory still existed. She had no family name; she had no family; no baptismal name; the Church no longer existed. She bore the name which pleased the first random passer-by, who had encountered her, when a very small child, running bare-legged in the street. She received the name as she received the water from the clouds upon her brow when it rained. “
This moment is adapted beautifully in the Manga adaptation by Takahiro Arai: 
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But now let’s talk about the Directory. 
To wildly oversimplifly a lot of complex history: Before the French Revolution, the Catholic Church’s records of baptismal ceremonies were often used as a  registry of people’s legal names. During the French Revolution, the Revolutionary government– including the Directory– put in place a series of policies we now call “dechristianization,” where they attempted to dismantle the power of the Catholic church. 
Fantine was born during the age of these dechristianization policies. So she was likely never baptised, her baptismal name was never recorded, and so she has no documented legal or family name. She’s slipped through the cracks of the legal system, and ended up completely anonymous.
This sets Fantine up as this anonymous child of the Revolution– a stand-in for everyone who was left behind when the Revolution was left behind, and kings were restored to the throne. 
Fantine’s namelessness is meant to show her isolation. She has NO support system. She has nothing to connect her to other people, nothing to connect her to a support system. 
Finally, the way Fantine tends to “slip through the cracks” is something that follows her throughout her life.  When she’s fired from her job at a factory, Mayor Madeleine never learns  of it– Fantine has this tendency to be overlooked and forgotten in official records.  At the end of the story, she is buried in an unmarked grave, with not even the name “Fantine” on her headstone. She is born anonymous and she dies anonymous.
It ties into the novel’s questions about  which people we consider worth remembering, whose lives are worth being recorded. 
[Thank you for reading! This essay was originally posted as a video here. For more Les Mis talk, you should subscribe to the 2025 @lesmisletters readalong on Substack here, and join the BrickClub Discord server here!]
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acid-ixx · 2 months ago
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gets fucking stabbed by damian and my last breath still be like "it's not his fault ! he is ten and was raised to be murderous since he was born ! kid entered a household where everyone ignores my existence, i don't blame him for assuming that to be the norm and acting evil to me so that he assimilates to his new environment ! bro literally went through the worst all his life so of course the way he expresses himself is harmful to others !"
and then i get stabbed again lol
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— masterlist !
OH MY GOD PLEASE 😭 the gaslighting yourself is real, i'm telling you.
unfortunately, the reader's toxic mindset of justifying everything your family does is a common scenario for every time one of them fucks up; only in the past though. the present chapters will have you slowly realize just nothing really is ever your fault. that you've never once been in the blame for the actions of your youngest brother.
but right now, i want to focus on why you just seem to let damian go about his own crazy path of targeting you. and it's either it's because you have nothing, nobody else to fight back with you, or it's purely because you allow him to.
to destroy you, to make you suffer, to make you learn that you have no place, or standing in the family. and if you do have a place, it is at the rock bottom.
this is what damian is taught: the weak should be eliminated before they fester into some type of unnecessary cancer.
you're weak, when he first saw you, when you first approached him with your tail tucked behind your legs and an invitation to hang out together with the scent of cookies wafting in the air— he knows that it is you who will make him weak.
you give him temptations to be a child, he's raised to fight against it. he ignores the unwelcomed feeling of wamth that blooms in his chest, those are feelings that gets you killed.
so it's how the story goes: he brings his sword up to your neck, and sways his hands swift enough to make a small cut to ensure that the first thing you associate him with is fear. and for someone vulnerable like you, it doesn't take much before you quickly submit to the prospect of your place beneath a trained assassin like him.
he ignores the sudden pang of his heart and the aching, gnawing dread that chews at his mind at the memory of your widening eyes and the wobble in your steps.
it's already damaging enough to have the youngest be introduced and immediately accepted into the family, but it's worse when he's significantly younger than you, a boy nearly half your age; someone you've always wanted to have, to care for, to help raise and cherish... despises you from the start, before you two even formed a connection.
someone you once called your younger brother, now became an enemy in opposing lines in a place called home.
what would've been fine-tuned jealousy towards him because he was given everything in a silver platter turned into shame that you couldn't even face him, not right after he threatened to kill you, no... and especially not after you've convinced yourself that if you couldn't even prove your worth for a young boy like him, then you really have nothing good to offer.
you give him the autonomy to think it's alright, that due to his upbringing, alongside your naive brain always justifying that your other siblings are right, and you are in the wrong— he was given every opportunity to torment you when you even go as far as being in the same room as him.
and i have my receipts on why you're just like that; all in the grace of low self-worth and self-esteem. past you reasons out that it's because it's always your fault.
you couldn't even find a way to save your mother, you couldn't even establish your place in the manor, you couldn't comfort bruce when he was still not over jason, what more could you be when all you see damian as is a young, broken child like you? that behind that veil of threats and weapons ready to attack you, is someone you knew could've been different, if he was raised right...
if he'd given you a chance to help nurture the softer, more humane part of him.
you've always wanted a younger sibling, not only from back when you were just with your mother, but also when you were introduced to the manor. because not only did it mean that you'll know how your mother felt when she raised you, but because you thought you'd have somebody by your side throughout the silent torment you've went through.
and when you're graced with one, who doesn't even consider you his older sibling; you let it be.
you let him be himself.
damian wayne, demon's granson, the son of the bat.
so many titles he's called, but never one where he's your younger brother.
it doesn't help that you justify his past, because the man you idolize, dick, does so too whenever you try to complain. his excuses are never out of malicious intent to have you suffer further— it's just that he never once actually considered you as important enough to bat an eye on, like how the rest of them treat you.
because you know that even dick has his limit towards the youngest member of the family; he just never reaches it when it comes to you.
so if you have a person allow another to act terribly towards you, but have another, a friend or family, who teaches you that it's not right, who fights by your side; it wouldn't take long for you to also learn how to defend yourself then. you'll gain confidence that you're at least not alone, that your actions are completely valid.
... but if you have an entire family that couldn't even scold the boy for leaving a scar on your neck, who brushes his mean comments about you aside, who isolates you even further with malicious words that you know becomes crueler when targeted at you—
then you have no basis for what is right, and what is wrong.
and that makes your authority, your trust in yourself dwindle like your already crumbling relationship with all the others the further you try to fight back.
that's when you learn what it's like to give up, all over again. if you accept his vidictive insults, if you know your place to turn back if you see him in the same room, if you knew from the start that sometimes trying doesn't equate to succeeding; then it'll at least numb the pain that comes after.
for the entirety of your life from when damian was introduced, that was how you coped—
but your life after the manor, after damian matures and learns softness, about empathy (that he's buried long ago during his training from when he was all but a toddler) on your situation; reading your journal entries because he still felt entitled to due to some hidden, twisted trait of possessiveness... that's an entirely different story.
would you still be as understanding as you were back in the past towards him? would you still force yourself to love the demon you saw as just a little boy? or would damian finally understand that it's too late to turn back time, to correct all his mistakes?
either way, if you were capable enough to change (at least, in his eyes), becoming an independent person (you think, huh? your place is at the manor), then maybe you could give him a chance too, to fix your relationship and build a bridge to an even stronger one.
one where you could finally baby him, like what you've desired. one where he could feel vulnerable, when he learned that it's valid to feel weak— it cuts back to the previous points: you make him weak.
and when he's out to find you after going through every single diary, every entry, after deducing that there's still a small spark in your that'll forgive him if he tries; he refuses give up any sooner if it meant replicating the same warmth he felt when he stood by your presence.
so... you wouldn't want to leave your youngest brother waiting for you, don't you?
after all, it's just like what your entries told him, right? this is what you always wanted, right?
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a/n: everyone is entitled to their own feelings about how i portray damian and mc's relationship!!! i love how all of you guys have different conflicting reactions to this. it's all so complex for me, how damian sees you as someone who's weak and makes him weak (he's just a stubborn little guy), and you, who sees yourself in damian, alongside the added desire to just have someone to care for (because you want to so badly honor your mother's memory), and that person also caring for you is ARGH!!?!
i apologize for my long rambles (if anyone wants me to cut back on posts like this, just tell me), i'm sure everyone is anticipating chapter 5 and possibly (soon) chapter 6 (since the drafts, not the final work is becoming too long). but right now, all i could provide are my depictions of the reader's relationship with every member of the family. i love to churn scenarios where it feels like you're actually part of the family so i'm actually manipulating all of you guys to become attached to the characters too, just to add an extra layer of angst, hehe...
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seresinhangmanjake · 4 months ago
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I love all your Feyd works! Thank you.
My request is regrding a sensitive topic. So if it makes you feel uncomfortable, please feel free not to write it.
Reader has arranged marriage with Feyd. After a few years they all discover (including her) that she has fertility issues and has trouble getting pregnant so the Baron wants them to divorce. Wife is becoming hopeless. But Feyd who’s utterly in love and devoted to his wife will not have it and pledges loyalty to her.
Worth To Him
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Notes/Warnings: obviously this is about fertility problems. It is a sensitive topic. If this bothers you, please do not read. Mention of period sex.
Words: 1500
Feyd-Rautha Masterlist / Main Masterlist / Tag list
Sobs wrack your body. One after another after another that keeps your breaths shallow and ragged. Tears coat your lashes, weighing them down. You gave up trying to see clearly through them an hour ago and let yourself get lost in the haze of blindness.
You can’t stop it. You haven’t been able to stop for days. You clutched your pillow like a lifeline, crying into the plush material in a way you haven’t since you were a child. You’ve really proven yourself useless now. You officially have nothing to offer this planet, and the Baron has made that well-known. But what else can you expect when you are incapable of doing the things that are expected of you? How can you expect not to lose the one thing you care about if you cannot give him what he needs?
“If you cannot provide him an heir, you are worth nothing” is what the Baron declared in front of all that exists of his court.
Nothing—the word bounced around the walls of your skull before it finally sank in. You’ve never been nothing until now. You’ve always held some sort of value in some manner or other, even if that manner is in being a political pawn. But no. Here, now, you’re nothing to these people.
At first, you pleaded with him, nearly fell to your hands and knees and told him you’d only been trying for a few months. A few months barely qualifies as adequate time. On your home planet, medical intervention is not discussed until the couple has gone a year with no success. But you’re not on your home planet; there is no medical intervention, and all the Baron said in response was: A few months is too long. You will divorce in a week's time.
Feyd doesn’t know. For the last five days, he’s been on Arrakis, and it was on the third day of his absence that you once again woke to stained sheets. He’ll be disappointed in you, just like the Baron, just like the people of Giedi Prime, just like your parents who agreed to marry you to Feyd for the sake of an alliance that will soon be broken. 
When he returns, they’ll tell him, and he’ll nod with acceptance because that is what he does under order, and you’ll be shipped off. You’ll never see him again. He’ll remarry. He’ll become a father to a child by a woman who is not you. He’ll raise what the people want. He’ll do them proud.
You wonder if he’ll miss you as you will miss him. Will he ever think of you and wish you were in her place? Will he look at the children she’s borne him and wonder what your children would have looked like had you the chance to have them? Will he see their hair and imagine your locks flowing down to their little shoulders? If he peers into their eyes, will he prefer them a shade to match yours instead of hers? You wonder if he’ll be filled with sorrow at what could have been. 
Selfish to think it. There’s no reason to assume he will not enjoy the pleasure his new wife will offer. Neither are you fair in hoping that when he’s inside of her, making the children the Baron demands, he will be thinking of you. 
You cry harder. Your pillow will take ages to dry. Perhaps you’ll move on to his. Soak in the scent of him before you’re ripped away from him and returned to what will be considered by many the end of your life. No other Lord, or future Lord, will take you, not after being owned by a Harkonnen—tainted meat, as they say. You’ll be a burden on your family, an embarrassment to your House’s people, a waste of valuable blood. 
Touch stirs you: a soft brush of fingertips over your tear-stained cheek, a thumb grazing over your parted mouth. 
Then a voice. “Wake up.” Your groan of resistance is cut short by a press of lips against yours. A quick peck and then another. “Wake up,” it says, and then one more kiss, much longer this time, that you return before bothering to open your eyes. Your arms wrap around a familiar neck. A tongue gently glides along yours. And then it’s gone. Stolen from you. You want it back. 
Your eyes snap open. At the sight of him sitting beside you, you gasp, quickly scrambling onto his lap. He holds you without question or word. He holds you close to him. You hold him like you never will again. 
Leaning into his body, you push him down onto the mattress and he lands on his back with a chuckle. Your legs straddle his hips, your weight resting comfortably on top of his, and with his hand in your hair, he pulls you back into a kiss. Gentle at first, a caress, then harder, needier, greedier. He could bruise you if he wanted, leave his mark, and you invite him to. Something to take back home with you—a bruising kiss. You hope it hurts. You hope you internally bleed and purple blooms around your mouth. You hope it never fades and you wear the reminder of him for the rest of your life.
His lips part. His tongue is back in your mouth, asking for yours. You savor the slick warmth, knowing you’ll never again be kissed like this. To be honest, you never thought you would be kissed like this at all. You didn’t know kisses like this existed. If someone had told you a year ago that this man would be kissing you this way, with a passion you wouldn’t have dreamed him capable of releasing, you’d have laughed them out of the room. 
He unlocks your mouths for a breath and gifts you a smile. Rare. Almost out of place on his face. The first one you received was five months into your marriage, and you’ve never gotten used to them. 
“I missed you,” he says, tucking a few loose strands of hair behind your ear. 
You want to tell him how you’ve missed him, how painful it’s been without him by your side, but you don’t know that you can speak the words, not without every emotion you’ve felt over the last few days bubbling to the surface and overpowering your joy at seeing him—the last time you’ll greet him upon his return before you’re gone. 
He frowns. “You didn’t miss me?” he asks, and since you can’t deny him a damn thing, you gather the will to say: “Of course I did,” but your throat catches midway through. You can’t look at him. He allows it for a few seconds, giving you a chance to meet his stare on your own, but when you don’t, his fingers on your chin turn your face back to his so you can no longer avoid the prying blue shade of his irises. 
“What is it?” he says.
“I know he told you.” There’s a brief pause before your husband hums in acknowledgment. Fingertips trace up and down your spine over the thin material of your nightgown. “The doctor was ordered to examine me after I bled. He’s not sure I’m able to give you a baby. And the Baron–”
“My uncle does not make my decisions for me,” he declares, and you’re so stunned by the defiance that it takes you a moment to collect yourself. 
“Feyd, do you not understand? I don’t know if I can do it,” you tell him. “My body is–”
“Perfect,” he interrupts. “You’re perfect, and you’re mine. You will never belong to another man, nor will I belong to another woman.” 
“Neither of us has a choice.”
“You believe so?”
Your brow pinches, mouth setting in a line. If he’s playing a game, you’re not enjoying it. “As if you aren’t aware of who has the power here.”
“I am aware,” he says. “But Rabban is dead. I’m all that’s left of our line. If he wants his heir, then I’m keeping my wife.”
He speaks with such certainty that the charge of excitement you get whenever you watch him take command of his armies seeps into you, giddily wiggling all of your little nerve endings. But the feeling fades as fast as it came. It changes nothing. Whether or not he defies his uncle does not alter your circumstances. 
You sigh. “But what of your heir?”
“We’ll keep trying,” he says. “You’re not going anywhere. I'm too attached. He doesn’t get to marry me to a woman like you and then take you away.”
“A woman like me, who might not be able to give you what you need,” you say. “Why aren’t you bothered?”
“Having my heir is not where your worth lies to me. If we cannot have a baby, we will take someone else's,” he tells you without snicker or grin. His fingers fist into the material of your nightgown. “Now take this off. I want my wife.”
“I am still bleeding.”
He scoffs. “When have I ever cared?”
538 notes · View notes
anemoiashifts · 7 months ago
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what to do if you’ve been trying to shift since 2020.
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if you haven’t shifted yet & you’ve been here since 2020 or for a long period of time, waking up in your bed the following morning after a method & your doubting that shifting isn’t real then that’s simply not true. you are not doubting in shifting, you are doubting in yourself. if you doubted in the belief of shifting or subliminals or working towards a goal, you would have walked away from it a long time ago. you wouldn’t still be here if it was really all for nothing. you still have hope. there is something keeping you here.
you are looking for exterior validation that you shifted & that’s normal. it’s human to look around for confirmation for our manifestations. it’s hard to believe in something we cannot see. what you have to do is recognize that you are the creator of everything you have ever achieved, done & acquired in your life. because you are waiting until you are in your desired reality to recognize your progress, you are giving your “failures” attention.
when we give our failures attention & dwell on what we lack & what we want, we start to see it more. i mentioned this a while back in one of my very first posts but i really wanted a volkswagon beetle & i started seeing them everywhere. this is because your subconscious is showing you what you desire. the cars (your desired reality & manifestations) were always there, the issue is you don’t believe they are yours yet. shifting is a success other people have achieved. not you.
so what’s the issue ? how do we fix this ?
let go of wanting to shift. why ? because you have it. people who have things already don’t sit around & say “i want a million dollars in my bank account” because they already have a million dollars in their bank account.
instead of focusing on what you don’t have, see what you do have. you were born into a life where shifting was brought to your attention. a lot of people don’t even know what shifting is & half of the people that do know what it scoff at it & don’t ever try. be grateful that you are not letting yourself become one of those people. the fact you are trying & attempting this is a testament to you bettering your life & by extension bettering yourself. if you look at your shifting journey, what is working for you ? what methods do you like ? recognize that the universe may be trying to help you out by delaying you being in your desired reality.
people seem to not like to acknowledge the concept of divine timing & how important it can be. there is a time & place for everything we do. between when you first discovered shifting to now, you would have missed out on so many lessons & experiences that are needed for growth. majority of us look at our first script & cringe. if your someone who scripts, reflect on how many’s scripts you had. did you look at how much your desires & maturity changed through those ? the universe — god, your spirit guides, whatever higher power you believe in — may be protecting you. there could be something in your script that you could not handle, there could be a toxic relationship that you may have suffered from if you had shifted successfully & it would’ve done more harm then good.
shifting will always be there; no matter your age, what you go through. you have all of eternity to figure it out. there is no time limit. nothing is worth rushing into. if you want something don’t well, take the time to do it correctly. while there is no “correct way” to shift take a look at yourself. are you nurturing yourself ? are you depressed ? are you in a stable headspace ? the only thing you have is this moment. the moment you are reading this on tumblr or tiktok, this is the only point you have control over. are you going to scroll away ? have you already gave up on reading this long of a post ? are you thinking about the past & your past shifting attempts or mistakes ? why are you thinking about them if they have nothing to do with your future ? if you know you will shift or manifest a job or money or whatever it may be — why are you giving something attention that goes against that ?
what’s the conclusion ?
look at what you have & how you’re still here. start small, recognize that this post came to you for a reason. recognize that this is something you manifested based on content you’ve put energy towards. this post is proof that you are capable of manifesting shifting, even if it isn’t your desired reality directly.
also, this reality is a desired reality. maybe not in the same way as another desired reality you may have but you have manifested plenty in this reality & that’s what shifting is. if you think you haven’t, guess again, because I’m sure there’s one thing you can find that you truly believed in & it became physical right before your eyes.
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vinjinssunglasses · 4 months ago
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could you write something about Yamazaki shingen can be anything
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· ════════༺ ✦⋆𓆩❀𓆪⋆✦༻ ════════··
♯┆character yamazaki shingen
♯┆summary you are somi park, the woman who conceived. Strangely, you and Shingen get closer?
♯┆cw oral (f receiving), fingering, p in v, squirting, belly bulge, slight size kink (?)
♯┆w/c 4.4k
♯┆a/n first smut fic, i hope you guys enjoy!! <3 also I do not condone somi park’s actions, nor is anything in this fanfiction canon. none of this is an excuse for her actions ^-^
· ════════༺ ✦⋆𓆩❀𓆪⋆✦༻ ════════·
The day you gave birth, you were filled with a mix of joy and emptiness. That warm feeling of joy wasn’t for yourself, it was for your own clan. Everyone cheered for you, so you should feel content too, right? Yet all you wanted to do was cry, let yourself loose with tears, hands soaking wet and makeup dripping. That child, the one who was too unworthy to bare the Yamazaki surname, was yours. And you hated it.
It reminded you of the day and nights of endless moaning from your parents, reminding over and over that you are one of the ten women to try to conceive that man’s child. Intercourse is only for those who are inlove, you firmly believe and stuck to your whole life. However there you were, taking in the ruthless thrusts of his man. His hands rest a firm grip on your hips, while his cock mercilessly spreads your hole. Yamazaki was indifferent; keeping his usual stern attitude and quietness, not sparing a sound.
It’s for your family, it’s for your clan. Those dreadful words ran through your mind endlessly. It felt like your perception of love and sex were being ripped to shreds right in front of your eyes. As soon as he finished, the room was dead silent. Not a word or a sound, other than him flipping the blanket over himself. Getting up to clean up, you only sighed as you felt it running down your leg. The mirror showed the pathetic sight of tears running down your face again. And there, the bathroom floor, you sat there curled into a ball, letting the tears run down your red cheeks while you silenced your own woeful cries.
Upon the announcement that you had conceived, you didn’t know what to feel. Relief, knowing you want to have to betray your own beliefs like that again? Or grief, knowing that the baby in your stomach could be deemed useless, and all your efforts to keep your mental state together has been futile? Everybody cheered and congratulated you nonetheless. If only somebody even cared.
That son of yours. Every time clan members reminded you, murder ran through your mind. However you were only allowed to smile and thank them. None of the idiots spared a second thought about how you felt, nor did they even ask.
‘THE HOPE OF YAMAZAKI’
As soon as that forsaken child was born, everyone seemed to take their judging eyes off of you, and onto that mistake. It was the birth of a being that was fuelled with all your grievances. All your hatred shifted onto that child, the one who was worthless enough to take up your last name, Park. Pitch black eyes and a tiny body that giggled when played with. He couldn’t even say ‘mama’, and his mere existence was worth more than yours.
The only ones by your side was the other nine women who also slept with that beast. You all made jokes to lighten the mood, yet the lingering feeling of ‘it’s all your fault’ lay deep inside your hearts. None of them congratulated you on that child, they all experienced similar to what you have. It felt as if they were your only safe space throughout this whole home.
If you were going to live here, you figured you may aswell call it home. Nothing about this place felt like home to you. It was your place of endless suffering, that felt like you were paying the price for your sins.
The first day you had to take your punishment, was the day you were scheduled to sleep with him. Everytime you even think of your last digit, you remember your trembling hand against the knife that pointed at your helpless finger.
Yubitsume, where severing a finger signifies an apology and loyalty to the clan. All of you trembled with sweat when holding that blade. Terrified gazes exchanged, you had to go through with the yakuza tradition. The reason was simple — the desire for his seed. All of you were considered lowlifes, therefore you weren’t allowed to express your opinion. As a result of these actions that were considered sins, the blood splattered over the tissues provided.
Afterwards, you were responsible for his daily tasks: bathing, cleaning, etc. It was an awkward silence, though you weren’t expecting much since he was never a speaker. Dark eyes rested on your curves as you went for a towel, in his eyes you were beautiful. The reincarnation of Aphrodite. While he would never let the words flow off his tongue, you noticed the way Shingen’s gaze rested on you for longer than it should. Though he only sat there, otherwise resting his gaze on the bathroom tiles while you scrubbed.
════════════════════════
You couldn’t help but feel bad for the boy. Gun was only young, unbeknownst of what was to happen. Born by unluckiness to serve the clan against his own will. It’ll be the only thing he knows from now on. To be a killing machine, just like his father, ‘Machine Gun’. To treat him like that, you felt terrible; absolutely ashamed.
Stopping him from having the childhood he was meant to, playing kendama with the friends he made, maybe you were part of the blame. You didn’t want to, but the vice-president presence looms over your shoulder, threatening that if you do not comply; it won’t go well. It’s not the child’s fault, he didn’t deserve any of this. If you had it your way, you’d him play kendama for as long as he pleased; never force him to fight. Still, you weren’t worth a dime to these people, therefore you were forced to your pesky mouth shut.
.
It’s strange. The contact with you two has always been the same — for the traditions of the Yamazaki clan. Then why does the air between you two feel a little lighter? It was odd enough being so casually naked around each other, even though you’ve already seen the other like this.
“How was your day?” Shingen muttered under his breath, and you paused in shock. The room fell silent as you stopped spreading the soap over his body. No, he’s not the type of guy to spare a moment of care for another. Ruthless, unforgiving and selfish is his nature; he tears his opponents limb by limb, not slowing them to spare a breath before they meet their demise. A man like Shingen doesn’t bother caring for his underlings, as they’re under him for one reason and one reason only: they’re weak, unable to reach his level.
Then why..?
“It.. It was okay.” You responded, mindlessly continuing with the task at hand. The room fell silent again, as per usual. It was a nerving stillness, one that has your heart racing. It was softer, less rough like his calloused, scarred skin, a result of all the treacheries he’s gone through. Shingen raises his brow as he studied his hands. You’d just realised — you had been staring at his hands for too long, and he had noticed.
“What is it?” Shingen spoke in a low tone as he inspected all the scars, callouses and rough texture of his hands, they were simply huge. One handshake could snap your wrist in two, not to mention the once soft knuckles that had hardened from the continuous strain from punching. The long, thick fingers which felt like rough sandpaper along his own skin, he had already gotten used to the sensation. So when your unfamiliarly soft hands run along his back, it successfully soothes him. Unlike his, your hands are slender and soft, with well-kept nails that are moisturised often to keep their ‘femininity’.
“Ah, it’s nothing.” You clear your throat, proceeding to grab the shower head. Even when you suddenly splashed water over his body, he never flinched, no matter the temperature. Most times you could never tell if the water was too hot, as he would just sit there in silence.
The next few days weren’t any better. When you were simply cleaning the house, he’ll take a seat near you, sipping at tea while minding his own business. When you moved rooms, he’d do the same, following along and silently observing. Occasionally he’d ask you questions, but that’s as far as conservations went. At first, you tried to ignore him, pretending his presence didn’t bother you and focusing on your work. But over time, the heavy silence between the two of you became more and more unbearable. Shingen’s eyes would follow your every move, his gaze felt heavy, as if he wanted something, yet he never spoke.
One afternoon, as you dusted the walls, you finally had enough. You turned around, forcing the words out of your throat in an attempt to find out what you really wanted to know.
“Is something the matter? These past couple days, you have been following me around.” Your hands become sweatier and you could barely maintain eye contact. Shingen withdrew the cup from his hand, resting it on the table before gazing right into your anxious eyes. He was surprised by your sudden outburst, yet he maintained his neutral exterior.
“Is it bothering you?” He simply spoke, waiting for your reply. Unsure of how to answer, you hesitated — one wrong word and he could snap you in half if he wanted to. But did it bother you? Perhaps at first, however it’s a feeling you can’t put your finger on. It was intrusive, but it left you curious. Why was he there? Is he hoping to see, or hear something?
“No…” You muttered, letting out a sigh you didn’t realise you had been holding. His eyes lingered in you for a moment longer than it should’ve, leaving you with a shiver running down your spine. Expression unreadable, as if he was weighing your answer. You shifted uneasily, wiping the sweat on your palms onto your clothes, trying to maintain your composure under the scrutiny of his deep gaze.
“I see.” He spoke, voice low like a well-tuned instrument. It was as if he learnt something from your hesitation. Unsure of what to think, you swallowed trying to understand his body language, yet it proved futile. You psychically can’t understand a man like him. What is even thinking right now? The air is thick, filled with words you wish you could say.
“Well, if you need anything..” your voice trailed off awkwardly, and he nodded as to acknowledge your attempt at conversation before turning his attention back to his cup of tea. You returned to your work, yet the question still gnawed at you. Everytime you moved, you could feel his unwavering gaze on the back of your neck.
“Why me?” The question slipped out of your mouth without thinking, and you started to silently panic. Turning back to face him, he simply looked down at his reflected expression from the ripples of the liquid. Now that it was in the open, it was too late to take it back. For a moment, Shingen didn’t answer. No matter how much you squinted to see a pinch of emotion, you couldn’t see past the barrier between the mask he wore and his raw emotions. Angry, sad, disdained — you couldn’t tell. It was like staring at a stone wall, unmovable and devoid of emotion. To your surprise, you notice his lips curve into a frown. Did you perhaps do something wrong?
After what felt like ages, he spared a few words. “You interest me.”
‘You interest me?’ Your breath caught in your throat. His words hung in the air between you, heavy with a meaning you can’t grasp. You tried to search his face for even a tiny hint, yet he remained unreadable, as always. Before anything else could be said, he stood and left with the room. The only thing you could do was watch him. He didn’t even look back, leaving you with the echo of his strange words replaying through your mind.
The following week, he personally invited you into his chambers. A cold shiver ran down your spine when he suddenly asked you to meet in his room that night. While you were cleaning the dishes, he quietly entered the room unbeknown to you. Suddenly speaking in a low tone, you flinched and raised your head to look at him. Those same, cold and dark eyes gazed down at you.
“Come to my room, tonight.” Simple, and sweet. Usually he’d keep a distance from his underlings, yet he was close enough that his arms brush yours. You dropped the sponge and took a moment to process the situation — his room? Tonight? What?
“Is there a reason?” You felt compelled to ask. What could he possibly be thinking? He’s unreadable, and you struggle to understand him.
“No.” Leaving no room for anymore questions, he turned around and left. Standing there, puzzled, you could once again only watch him walk away as you were forced to continue your task.
That night, the clock struck ten and you had just finished washing up. You got changed and put your old clothing into the laundry. It was bothering you, what was he doing to do? Did your parents do something outlandish again? The whole thought of it left you pacing around the hallways wondering if you should just say you forgot. But then you’d be going against his order, and who knows what your clan will shame you for now? Sighing, you took the chance and knocked at the door.
“Oyabun.” You called out, and he opened the door. He let you inside, and you took a seat on the bed where he sat beside you. The quiet of his chambers felt oppressive, the air thick with words unspoken. You shifted a little and fidgeted with your hands as your mind spun with questions. Were you over thinking? The silence stretched between you, his presence looming next to you, quiet and unyielding. You tried to shut these thoughts out, but you could only focus on how close he was sat, his body heat radiating against yours in the lamps dim light.
You cleared your throat. Hesitating, the question you’d been holding back forcing its way out. “… What did you mean by that?”
Shingen shifted his gaze from your fidgeting fingers to your jumbled expression that could barely maintain eye contact. “The other day, where you said..”
Did you say too much? You paused and instantly regretted saying anything.
For a moment that felt like ages, he didn’t say a word. You could feel his gaze on you, but he didn’t make a move to speak. Anxiety coiled in your chest, and just as you were about to apologise for saying anything in the first place…
“You think too much.” The weight of his words hung heavily in the air, and you pulled your head up to looked at him. For once, he showed an emotion you could make out — troubled. His brows creased with worry, lips pressed into a thin line before he spoke.
“I meant what I said,” he murmured, struggling to look you in the eye. “You..” Shingen paused, as if carefully choosing his choice of words. “…occupy my thoughts.”
What? It wasn’t as you expected ever coming out of his mouth. He’s a gruesome man who doesn’t hesitate to tear limbs apart, yet here he is, in front of you, weak and docile. Between the cracks of his yielding facades, a hint of emotion shone through. It was as if your hand moved by itself, curling his hair behind his ear.
“Why?” You whispered, trying to grasp onto any sort of reason. “I don’t understand you.”
“There’s no need.” Shingen replied, his voice low and soft. This time, his eyes gazed longingly into yours, filled with an unspoken desperation, like he was hoping for something he couldn’t put into words. In all honesty, you were speechless. Before entering this room, you had no expectations, wanting to leave as soon as possible. Now you want to stay here, in this moment, forever. Seeing his face so soft was a sight engraved in your mind, one that you wouldn’t get tired of seeing.
“Just.. stay. Stay with me.” He bit his lip, his expression tender, waiting for a response he desperately needed. These words were simple, yet they carried a weight that made your chest tighten. His words resonated deep inside of you, and you couldn’t explain his new feeling.
The silence returned, but it didn’t feel thick and heavy, nor suffocating. It felt as if something growing between you two, something fragile and real.
“I’m not going anywhere.” You spoke, voice barely above a whisper, as your hand lands on his. Stroking his thumb, you noticed a faint smile creep onto his lips as a wave of contentment washed over him. It was a side of him that you had never seen — no, nobody has even seen — and it made you feel so special. *I was the only one to see this monster oh-so vulnerable. You saw it — how his shoulders eased and body relaxed, leaning into yours. As if he’d been holding it in for so long, and only now, in this room that he bared his suffering alone, has he been able to express it.
He turned his hand over, lacing his with yours. The feeling of his weathered hands felt so warm against yours, and you embraced his imperfections for what they were. That simple gesture sent a warmth through your body that made your chest ache. His other hand lifted, hesitating for a moment before resting it against your cheek, thumb brushing softly across your skin.
Shamelessly, you almost couldn’t keep your eyes off of his lips. And he couldn’t either. An eagerness that rested in your heart hedged for you to kiss him. You shifted closer to him, taking the chance and pulling him closer while your lips met his, hesitant but eager. Shingen’s mouth was warm, a firm contrast from his cold exterior. Your eyelids flutter close as you let yourself melt into the tenderness of his embrace. Restless, your hands finding themself gripping the hem of his robe, unable to get enough of him. Straddling his lap, you felt his hands naturally settle upon your hips. You finally take this chance to take a breathe, and you look into his eyes — hungry.
For the first time in your life, you felt as if you were in control — his gazed lifted to you, not looking down. You cupped his face,, watching how his cheeks squish against his lips, before leaning in to kiss him again. This time, you didn’t dare part them.
It was a moment you never wanted to end.
Yamazaki lifted you by the hips, taking care to lay your body onto the bed before climbing in between your legs. Untying your robe, his hands eagerly explore each crevice of your body. From your breasts, to your hips, to your thighs — you were perfect. Shingen leaned towards your breasts, gently circling his finger around your areola. Your nipples ached to be touched, yet he only groped your tits, kissing at the sensitive regions of your neck.
His kisses travelled down your collarbone, chest and stomach, towards your dripping cunt. Shingen’s long hair draped along your thighs, his warm breath causing your pussy to tremble.
“Hurry.” Voice aching with anticipation, he complied; his tongue slurped up all your juices, taunting your clit with the feathery contact. Every glide of his tongue has you loosing control of your pesky mouth once more, moans carelessly spilling, making his own neglected cock throb. Moving the strands of hair from his forehead back, you can see the lust and hunger embedded in his eyes, as if he’s holding back from having his way with you. It’s so sexy, seeing those glaring eyes gazing right back at you. His fingers grip deep enough into your skin that it could bruise, pulling you in closer to ravenously lavish in the juices of your leaking cunt.
Shingen leaned in closer to circle your clit with his tongue. A pleasured gasp came from above, which encouraged him to keep going. What if someone heard? You tried your hardest to suppress your moans, covering your mouth. Why’d he stop? A hand grips onto your wrist, pulling them away from your panting mouth as he looks up into your eyes.
“Don’t hold back your moans. I want to hear them.” He slowly pushed a finger through, thrusting in a come hither motion. Those hands, they were fucking huge, and your cunt struggled to spread around them. The once rough, sandpaper like hands melted into your love juices, becoming soft and creamy. A smirk ran across his lips as he rubbed his own erection, watching your face contort into a slutty mess.
Oh, what’s that? He presses against your g-spot, and you shriek in pure bliss. Each thrust leaves you breathless, bolts of pleasure running through your spine. What’s worse is the view of your juices spilling all over the sheets, creating a pool under you. Shingen can’t help but love what he’s doing to you, enjoying every moment of your helpless self.
Oh gosh, you could feel yourself getting closer, while he leans in to circle his tongue around your nub. Shamelessly attacking your weakest spot, you grip onto his hair as you could feel the pool of pleasure inside your stomach hollowing, and your voice becoming louder. In three last plunges against your g-spot, a squeal escapes you as you squirt all over his abdomen. Vision hazy, you felt his fingers pulling out and him panting himself. Shingen lapped up the aftermath of your delighted orgasm, hungrily devouring every last drop.
Next thing you know, his cock is hugged between the wetness of your folds, lined up against your hole. How the fuck was that thing going to fit inside of you? No matter how wet your hole was, the tip could barely push its way in.
“Relax,” His hands rested on each side of your hips for support, while he tried to push it in slowly.
“It’ll fit.” He spoke as if he knew what you were thinking. Shingen groaned as in one final thrust of force, he abruptly dipped into your heat. You let out a surprised squeal, as you both pant. One hand finds its way to grip onto your thigh that nestled around his waist, while the other grips onto your hips. Only three inches has found its home in the depths of your pussy, yet you’re already panting for air. It’s only just begun. He doesn’t dare push any further, afraid that’ll hurt you.
“Give me more. I.. I can take it…” Your voice trembles, trailing off at the end.
Of course, he indulges; pushing his length on further, six inches in. Even further now, seven, eight.. just how big is he?! The girth of his cock makes your head spin as your cunt stretches to accommodate his girth. As he pulls out, you noticed the glistening of his cock dipped in the wetness of your pussy, yet the remaining few wasn’t. Giving slow thrusts, you could feel the motion of his cock hitting so deep, making your whole body shiver in pleasure.
“You feel so good..” He groans into the crook of your neck, hungrily kissing your neck to your lips. That spongy spot inside of you is being tortured by his fat tip, and your joke shudders every time he does. Shingen’s never been this loud — breathlessly loosing control of himself, his precum already leaking inside of you.
“Shingen,” You pulled him in closer with your legs, causing another inch or two to slip in. “Gi.. Give me all of it. I told you, I, I can take it..”
You whine as your eyes start to water, having your toes curling. An instant regret floods his body as he saw the tears running down your cheek, yet he was feeling way too good to acknowledge anything else. Reluctantly, the last few inches fill you up, and oh, you could see his cock bulging out on your stomach.
Shingen faintly smiled as he pushed down on that spot, his hips unapologetically moving faster. It was so sensitive — him pressing down on your womb only made you scream in ecstasy more. Your hole tightens and squeezes him, and you could feel every twitch and pulse his desperate dick let’s out. His strong hands grip onto your hips, squeezing them while thrusting as fast as he could — a bolt of cum building inside his balls.
“Shingen..!” Your voice wails in heavenly bliss, yet he’s too pussy-drunk to even listen to a word you’re saying. “Agh..! W-Wait, I…!”
The sinful sounds of his balls slapping against your cunt drowned out the noises of your moans, and a sheen sheet of seat drips down your bodies.
“I’m.. I’m cumming.. T-Take it all..” just a little bit more and..!
He’s filling you up, mumbling all sorts of profanities. As soon as he pulls out, a rush of juices land on his chest yet again. It made him satisfied to see your hole bubbling with his sperm, dripping onto the wet sheets. It was an achievement to see you trembling, gasping for air, gripping into the sheets for some resolve. He plants a kiss on your cheek, biting on your earlobe before whispering into your ear:
“One more time, please?” And you couldn’t refuse.
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