#was a neurodivergent kid who had no idea what that even was

[presidenthades]

Can you please give your headcanons on the Alicent & Daemon marriage. It'd be NUTS. We know what Daemon does to a wife with brown hair brown eyes no matter how pretty she is 👀

Also how would TargBros™️ turn out in that family in your opinion? (Aemond would be such a daddy's girl lol) Sadly Daemon doesn't interact with his children at all on the show and Baela even said sometimes she hates him. What would Daemon do with a neurodivergent daughter (Helaena)? Would he dismiss her or would he realise she has dragon dreams?

I believe Daemon is snobby about being Valyrian, and he prefers a Valyrian wife. He also simply does not like Rhea as a person. From what little we saw of Rhea, she’s very headstrong. But so are Laena and Rhaenyra, whom Daemon does like.

The difference with Rhea is that she’s brutally upfront about not liking Daemon, and she verbally cuts him where she thinks it hurts. Meanwhile, Laena and Rhaenyra actually like Daemon, and their headstrong qualities are more akin to flirtatious sassiness than Rhea’s blatant dislike. So Daemon has a certain degree of attitude he will accept from his wife/the women in his life, but he won’t tolerate someone who’s just mean to him (which is fair, although he gives as good as he gets).

I also think Rhea being non-Valyrian AND headstrong is even worse in Daemon’s book. He could justify Laena and Rhaenyra with “they’re Valyrian ladies of the noblest birth, they deserve to be prideful.” But Rhea is of First Men blood and proud of it, without any drop of Valyrian blood. I think Daemon would like (or at least tolerate) her more if she were meeker.

That’s all setup to explain why I think Daemon/Alicent’s marriage could actually work. They wouldn’t love each other, but they could have children, share a household, and fulfill various spousal duties without killing each other.

Alicent is of First Men and Andal blood (some readers theorize the Hightowers also have Valyrian blood due to Oldtown possibly being a Valyrian outpost, but I’m going to ignore that theory in this post). That counts against her in Daemon’s book. However, Alicent as a young girl has a very different personality from Rhea (and Laena and Rhaenyra). She’s demure, courteous, and obedient. She is willing to adapt to her husband’s expectations and tastes, as we can see from how Alicent dresses in Targ colors before the Green Dress scene.

She isn’t whom Daemon would choose, but if he had to marry her, I think he would learn to be content with his marriage. He has a wife who listens to him, takes care of household stuff he isn’t interested in, and publicly presents a united front with him/his house. Although she is the daughter of his hated rival, this might eventually become a positive for him, because he can gloat about bedding Otto’s daughter on the regular. 💀

On Alicent’s side, she seems genuinely pleased when Daemon asks for her favor in S1E1. I think she shares many young ladies’ view of Daemon as a dashing (and roguish) knight. That, plus the fact he’s a Targaryen prince, makes him an excellent marriage prospect for her—on paper at least.

In private, Alicent would probably disagree with a lot of Daemon’s actions/decisions. If she tries to talk with him about it, she would have even less success than with Viserys. She may feel like Daemon looks down on her too much, whereas Viserys at least appears to consider her input (sometimes) when she offers it.

The marriage would almost certainly cause friction between Alicent and Rhaenyra, especially if Daemon continues to push boundaries with Rhaenyra. That’s probably the riskiest part about the marriage. Alicent grew up in a society where highborn women ignore their husbands’ dalliances, but it’s hard when the potential dalliance is her best friend/husband’s niece.

In general, it’s a bad idea to count on kids to save a marriage, but I think it would help Daemon/Alicent. Daemon would be thrilled with four kids—three of them sons—who look extremely Valyrian. Alicent in this AU can focus more on her immediate household and children, without also worrying about duties as queen. She also isn’t stressed about Aegon becoming king, because her children being Daemon’s are definitely behind Rhaenyra according to standard Westerosi succession norms. Also, with Daemon as the father, she isn’t worried about Daemon murking them on Rhaenyra’s behalf.

With Westeros being a deeply gendered society, Daemon would be much closer to his sons than with daughters. He’d be more hands-on than Viserys, and he would personally teach them sword-fighting and dragon riding.

Aegon greatly benefits from an attentive father, a less paranoid mother, and less uncertainty over his heir status (or lack thereof). He probably goes on a lot of Flea Bottom trips with Daemon, but Daemon, who wants his sons to reflect well on him, can make sure Aegon doesn’t go too crazy.

Aemond is probably the favorite child. As the second son of a second son, he bonds with Daemon over that. Lots of father-son bonding in the training yard. I could see Daemon telling Aemond he’ll get Dark Sister one day, but he has to earn the sword first.

Daeron probably keeps the same dynamic with Daemon as in the Handbook. Way too chipper for Daemon’s preference, but Daeron is the baby so Daemon puts up with it. Daeron is definitely not being sent to Oldtown.

It’s normal for daughters’ education to be presided over primarily by their mother, so Helaena ends up being the least close to Daemon. I think he does like having one girl, just to break up the boy litter a bit. He probably has a similar relationship with her as with Rhaena. Distant, no idea how to bond, just leaves her with his wife. Maybe throws her a bug-themed present once in a while. I don’t think Daemon would figure out the dragon dreams on his own, because it he doesn’t believe in such things/disdains them.

[charmac]

x

[ziracona]

The Darkness really is the best song in the show.

[tealvenetianmask]

I want to think a little about Blitz's self-perception with regard to his lack of education/sophistication. In my opinion, HB gives us a very accurate portrayal of what it feels like to navigate relationships when you're a person with a long history of feeling like you're never good enough ("I can always do better").

Let's start with his friendship with Moxxie, though like a lot of my posts, it will find its way back to stolitz.

Moxxie doesn't necessarily have more formal education than Blitz. I mean . . . he likely had the economic resources growing up, but I don't think Crimson seems like the kind of parent to prioritize education. Besides an education in violence. I assume that both Blitz and Moxxie had some basic education as kids, but the difference is that Moxxie likes "high culture(ish)" things like musicals and bow ties, enjoys knowing details about history, and probably reads for fun. He's also the kind of ". . . um actually . . ." friend who can make even a secure person feel a little stupid. Not that Blitz doesn't sometimes need to be called out, but Moxxie does seem to take some joy in correcting him.

And yes, Blitz bullies Moxx and calls his junk tiny and tells him to eat a salad, but like . . . it's pretty obvious that to some extent, Blitz is covering up for feeling inferior to Moxxie on some level.

We see how Blitz really feels about this in Truth Seekers.

Borrowed observation from excellent reaction youtuber Omn1media: When Blitz hallucinates Moxxie lecturing him, Moxxie goes really hard specifically on the insults to Blitz's intelligence. Moxxie's speech is also much more rambly/laced with figurative language than it is in their real (non-imagined) interactions.

We can see from Blitz's face in these scenes that these comments really get to him. Of course they do- he's making them up in his own nightmare.

"Foolish flights of fancy" is the rest of the caption there . . ."

He's very upset by the idea that he's really inferior to Moxxie- under all of the bravado, he's deeply insecure. It probably doesn't help that the truth gas made him admit that he didn't like the musical that Moxx recommended. Yes, I know that was a Cats joke, but also, Blitz bothered to lie, and he doesn't seem allergic to hurting Moxxie's feelings, so I think he wanted to pretend to "get" the "higher art" that Moxxie likes.

Okay so if Moxxie (with an essentially equivalent status and education) manages to unintentionally make Blitz feel stupid and uncultured, how does this translate when Blitz falls in love with Stolas, who IS objectively very high status and very well educated and DOES speak in "fancy rich people" language?

Oh. Right. The pedestal, the impossibility, and all of that.

I'm not saying that Hell's strict hierarchy doesn't have a lot to do with how Blitz perceives a real relationship between himself and Stolas as impossible- it absolutely does. And so does his history of failed relationships and heaping backpack of trauma. But also, the education/sophistication piece is there, and it's major.

I'm on the fence about whether Blitz actually sees himself as stupid or is just worried about being perceived that way by others. He obviously knows he's very good at the work he does, and that takes both a certain level of strategic thinking AND some very brilliant improvisation. I think he knows this. But he also knows he'll never . . . let's say, be the best read person in the room (if you want to know my thoughts on Blitz and literacy, click here- but short answer, I think he's quite literate but also dyslexic).

I think that like many real people who are kind of out of the box in this way (disrupted education and/or neurodivergence) he's simultaneously aware that he's very intelligent AND deeply insecure about being stupid or having others devalue his kind of intelligence.

[bubsmiraculousau]

These are my OT5 brainstorm pages. Elaborations on how I got to these below! I reference concept pages so if you see any pictures you don't recognize that's why. <3

First up is Cat Noir who I think is already perfect lmao. For my version though I wanted to lean closer to his PV design because I love it, like his larger triangle nose (you can't really see it at the angle in my drawing but it's there I swear!), the bigger bell, the more elaborate belt, etc.... so basically everything ... just in my style instead.

With my designs I think that whenever someone transforms into their miraculous persona it's based on what they think a hero looks like or what they think is cool. I think Adrien reads a lot of comic books and is a fan of characters like Batman (relatable for him LOL), Catwoman, and Nightwing, so his suit reflects that kind of vibe.

Extra: I decided that Ladybug and Cat Noir's masks go all the way up their foreheads because it looks nicer in my 2D style with their bangs haha.

Next up is the one and only Ladybug! Unpopular opinion but I actually like the all red suit! My hypothetical series would be a webcomic, and I feel like in action scenes the red differentiates her from Cat Noir esp at a distance, and more red style keeps their color ratios even.

I like the ladybug designs with a bunch of black sections they're very cute! Just not for my au. (I think it's just me but I find drawing the ladybug designs with inverted red dots to feel sacrilegious in a way,,, just my neurodivergent brain lol)

And I am a long ribbons truther, I love them and they can be very expressive. Also I knew I wanted Marinette to have a more vertical circular eye shape because her shape vibe is definitely a circle (Adrien's is triangle) and it reminded me of the eyes for the main girl in princess jellyfish (I've never seen it, love the style tho)

Her hair is a more bright blue to contrast her hair against her suit, and make her look more cartoonish. I imagine her idea of a superhero comes from kids shows and some magical girl anime. So her hair has a plastic shiny texture to it because when she thinks 'superhero' she thinks of kids toys. Also I just like color! The blue kinda gives comic spiderman vibes imo (the version with the light blue instead of the navy)

Queen Bee definitely changed the most throughout the design process. I really like her in-show design so I just tweaked it to be more my vibe. Adding a crown because she's a Queen.

Something that I've noticed is that Alya and Chloe actually share a lot of traits (There's even some old concept notes where I believe Alya and Chloe either switch names or roles at some point?? The miraculous concept info rabbit hole is real y'all) and I think this comes through in their final designs.

Like they both share a middle part, which bothers me for some reason, so I decided to give Chloe a little Ariana Grande side part into a ponytail.

I wanted each character to have a cool little piece on their costume, so I tried these little hip things to make her more commanding and girlboss, but currently her weapon is similar to ladybug's (but more like one of those hair ties w the little disco balls on them) and it would sit on her hip and would clash w her hip thingies, so I just decided to make her weapon the hip things instead, combining the two.

Something else that bothered me a lot was that Rena was the only one with white on her costume. Everyone has black but she's the only one with white... my brain says that this cannot be. So I tried to give Bee some fun white fuzzy bits but the texture just was too different...

And then I had the mega-brain idea to make her hair white to tie in the white from Rena. Her and Cat Noir both having blonde hair irked me as well LOL so this hit two birds with one stone. I wanted her hair to be sharper and more aggressively drill shaped because of her abrasive personality haha.

After that, is Carapace. I had an idea for him from the start because I felt like his in-show design just doesn't match his personality... I couldn't make his outfit all loose because I wanted to stick generally to the miraculous suit formula, but I feel like 'skin tight suit' just isn't his vibe. So he has a kind of hammer pants situation.

I think they capture Carapace's b-boy ninja turtle vibe while still looking like a miraculous outfit. Though I decided later that I wanted the pants to be a lighter color for contrast and the visor to be white (to tie in that Rena Rouge white).

Lastly is Miss Rena! Something that bothered me (back on the similarities to Chloe) was that they both have ponytails (yes I know I'm crazy). Even though they have very different textures I just wanted each of them to be distinct from each other. So I put her hair down and just dramatized her regular hairstyle.

Also her and Queen Bee both have black gloves to their upper arms, which, you guessed it, bothered me. So I shortened Rena's to just reach her elbow.

I wanted her to look like a magic-man, her illusion powers evoke a showmanship energy to me. I imagine her and Cat Noir are quite the dramatic theater kid-esque duo.

So, for drama I tried some flowy arm bits, which I think ended up just looking a little strange, so I'll pocket that idea for something else. Then, I tried to add her coattail from the show, but it ended up looking a little frumpy, not the drama I wanted.

I ended up making her coat more triangular in the front, to give off the vibe of a magician's vest, and changed it to solider red/orange double coattails, which I think makes her more magic-man-ish. And I think the white ends made it too busy.

So those are my hero designs! I'm still working out Hawkmoth and Mayura, esp Hawkmoth because I am not good at drawing masculine older men...

If y'all want LESS of the artistic process let a girl know lol! I know some ppl like it but this is very long,,, all my drawings will not have text this long! thx for reading if you did tho xx

[mysticcrownwolf]

So your girl finally had a autistic meltdown and finally asked her mum about her childhood and got some mixed results but long story short I am finally getting an official autism and adhd diagnosis because in my mums words “Everyone deserves things that make their life easier to live”. Not gonna lie guys I did cried about this but it also came up that they did tried to get me diagnosed before (I don’t remember this at all) but were told I just had very high levels of hyperactivity so to make sure this type of bullshit doesn’t happen again I am making a list of all my weird or quirky traits and having the neurodivergents of Tumblr peer review them so I can finally get a diagnosis after 19 years of struggling.

1) I didn’t ever in my life made or had friends that stick around.

2) I was actually alienated a lot by most people in my life for being the umbrella term they all coined as ‘weird’ what this weird means varies from person to person.

3) I have actually been told by other girls that they gave me a chance to keep them company even after many people told them I was too weird and they should stay away from me. These same people later called me slurs, were self absorbed or just plain abusive towards me.

4) Through out my whole life I have sat alone on a double bench because no one wanted to sit with me in class.

5) I have a problem with properly spelling certain words like I write weird as ‘wierd’ or video as ‘vedio’.

6) People constantly doubt I have any sense of knowledge and act like any good idea I give is a surprise even when I was on the top of the class the phrases like “ That’s the first good idea you ever had” weren’t uncommon.

7) I walk a lot and I mean a lot enough that hyperactivity has still been a part of my diagnostic because I walked so much they had no choice but to put that in. I actually come to the school 30 minutes early then walked the whole time, I would just up and leave classes to walk in corridors because I couldn’t sit still long enough, my walking is such a huge part of me my old teachers still tell their classes about me as the girl that walked too much.

8) People in my college nicknamed me the headphone girl because I walked around our whole campus( I would pace a lot around the parameters) with my only noticeable feature being my headphones.

9) I was the only kid in my school not scared of bugs which lead to some notable incidents

I once picked a small green caterpillar and showed it off to my class of 10 year olds they started crying and teacher made me throw the bug even though I wanted to keep it as a pet

Our teacher once asked us to bring butterflies to class so I captured around 30 butterflies put them in a breathable Tupperware and took those to class me being the only person who did this freaked out all the other children with my butterflies , we later released them all in recess it was very pretty

I not only volunteered but gleefully presented live earthworms on my palm to various groups of parents in our school science fare much to the horrified looks of many parents and children about how a little girl like me wasn’t screaming from handling earthworms.

I scared our class mean girl by capturing a butterfly and then turning my hand holding the butterfly in her direction she and a few other girls screamed when I tried to tell them that the little critter was harmless and even offered to let them hold her (I was very confused why they didn’t like this).

10) I was friends with a lot of my teachers as well as higher class teachers especially the Science, Social studies and English teachers. I would often spend my recess in the biology lab chatting with the biology teacher about the different specimens in the lab and how much I enjoyed biology in general. I am half sure I would have loved to study biology/medicine if not for the fact it was a minimum investment of 7 years though I am still an avid reader of new biological discoveries and follow many niche youtube channels that focus on flora and fauna.

11) I was actually friends with all 3 principles in my school and would go to them after my last class to chat about my school day. This was so bizarre to others but I actually enjoyed how much these adults would listen to my info dump even if my own peers won’t.

12) Every single time my report card came I would usually top the class in most subjects except maths in which I usually underperformed ( don’t worry guys I figured out later I just need to know every basic concept to get the deep understanding of mathematical principles which my teachers were very bad at build but I later learned how to do it myself) but it would always have in big bold letters that “I talked to much and have weird questions and am disruptive in class ” which my bad I thought I could get details about what your are teaching and develop great interest but nah we just need to complete the syllabus as fast as we can. Salt on the wound I would only ask questions and discuss topics in class with the teacher since I don’t have friends I could talk to in class. They deadass never ever punished a single student from disrupting in class except me the girl who asked silly questions about what we were studying maybe they thought my questions were weird so I was asking them to disrupt they flow of the class rather than genuine curiosity who knows

13) I had very bad anger issues stemming from how the system as well as authority figures treated me ( I have since been to therapy and gotten help for it ) but a lot of time I verbally and physically attacked an authority figures usually when they punished me for something I didn’t do or when they tried to empty out their frustration on me or tried to bully me in anyway. I never took bullying face down from anybody be it younger or older than me my flight or fight response was always on fight

14) People did tried to bully me physically or verbally but I always returned it in kind with interest so it never really stuck like the isolation did. My most memorable experience with bullying was when I bitch slapped our school mean girl so hard the whole ground heard it , I don’t think I ever got any punishment for it and she later burned every friendship she had by throwing her whole group under the bus for some vandalism they did.

15) I unfortunately never had friends so when they school told me telling an authority figure I am being teased, harassed or even that someone is breaking the rules is what’s morally right I ran with the rules set for me rather than knowing the social norms that this would mark me as the school snitch without the teachers ever doing anything about the issues. Unfortunately I learned the hard way through trial and error that once you are labelled as a snitch their is nothing you can do to get that tag off and it comes with the added benefit of making people never talk to each other near me or even just leave the places I visit alone so yay more loneliness for me

16) I actively volunteered for every single activity and program my school office this sounds great but I picked and got selected for all 7 different fairs (English, Hindi, Maths, Science, Social science, Music, Art) but rather than pick out one or two I helped out with all 7 of them. They later added a 3 groups per person limit.

17) I am actually trained in both classical instrumental and singing but couldn’t complete my singing degree before the program closed down and it’s been 6 years since I played a Casio that I don’t think that even matters anymore. Anyway I added this because at first I did both of these at the same time along with volunteering for all the other activities before they added a 1 course per year limit which is a shame since it cost me my vocal degree.

18) I love reading that just the fact I found reading in my school library when I was 8 haven’t let it go since by my librarian’s estimate I read almost 3000 books (mostly children books) from my school library. I also have a mini collection of about 300 books that I have passed down to both of siblings. These days I read mostly on ao3 or the occasional paperback I bought at the airport but reading is still something I do almost daily.

19) See one thing about me is I was one of the first student at my school so much so my identification number was 35 so me being such an old student my school has actually legends about my quirky ( neurodivergent ) behaviour which has made me understand where most legends actually come from

I walked out of classes so many times teachers to this day still tell stories of the weird girl that likes to walk

My whole school knew who I was mostly because I would be the first and only person that likes to answer philosophical questions asked by our principal in the assembly, I was also great with improvising assembly conductions, thought of the days, assembly quizzes, full speeches on topics told to me 2 minutes ago, even improvised song recitations (can you guys pick up I have social anxiety now).

As I told you my lovelies I love reading so if I was immersed in a book and the class started I would just hide the book to read in class once I got caught so I got termed the girl who like to read books in class( is it stupid yes did it still happened certainly). I later learned to zone out to the stories in my mind during class which was very helpful.

As I told you guys I was actually on pretty friendly terms with my principal and teachers so guess who became the teachers pet for the next 8 years even though most teachers care jack shit about my interest and was further alienated because of this me ofcourse.

I actually once locked myself in the school bathroom for like 4 hours because I hadn’t completed the homework a teacher had given me and she was quite physically abusive towards me. I got suspended for a week because of this funnily enough nobody in my school actually remember this and most are really surprised to know I was suspended.

I am actually really famous or infamous by the way you look at it for physically assaulting a teacher funnily enough the name of the teacher, why I am attacked them and even how I hit them changes from person to person I have actually heard 10-15 different variations from different people( I am not even sure if I actually ever hit a teacher most I remember is I lunged at one teacher but she stepped back so I didn’t even touch her).

20) I was depressed from age 14 to 17 which caused me to chronic pain which later caused me to meet my current psychologist who helped me a lot but is vehemently against me getting any sort of neurodivergent diagnosis most she say is I have borderline adhd tendencies and that I think to much and should focus on calming down my mind which honestly is quite invalidating.

21) I can’t wear any sort of itchy or frilly materials when I was younger ( the texture was soo bad) but my sister could which made my mother think I was being a drama queen.

22) When I was younger I use toilet paper after using a bidet because the feeling of wet pants would over stem me so bad it’s not a problem for me anymore except from sometimes during winters.

23) I didn’t know Chewelry existed when I was younger so I chewed on my nails/skin,my lips, squishy parts of remotes, plastic toys, legos, scarfs, hoody strings, hot glue gun glue, chalk, cement, sand, mud etc. (Yes I know about the microplastics now no I don’t care).

24) I am highly sensitive to sounds so if my fan have a weird creak sound I won’t be able too sleep I also can’t sleep if I hear a clock ticking or any other repetitive sounds ( my mum still doesn’t understand why I can’t just force myself to sleep).

25) I also can’t sleep in continuous silence I need background noise to fall asleep.

26) It took me a whole year of forcing myself to wear bra and panties for my body to finally get used to me wearing them. It was a stimulation nightmare but I think it was worth it I enjoy wearing bras and panties now.

27) I can’t eat apples like I physically cringe even thinking of the sensation of biting into an apple. I have tried cutting an apple into every single why I could I still can’t swallow or even properly chew an apple the texture is such a sensory nightmare for me. Cabbage used to be the same for me but though constant reintroduction I can usually for myself to eat it with a glass of water

28) I have had many foods be absolutely sensory nightmare for me throughout my childhood. I was a very picky eater think bread, soup, lentils and noodles(packet noodles without vegetables). I couldn’t eat any kinds of fruits(except banana), vegetables, pizza , burgers (still don’t eat this), dumplings, wraps, pasta,etc. Heck I was a vegetarian for majority of my life before I learned chicken is actually a great textured food for me though I still don’t eat any form of red meat or sea foods and my food list is still very limited I have constantly reintroduced many foods for myself over the years which I can now usually bear to eat. I also learned that I can usually consume fruit and vegetables better if they are liquids so fruits juices, smoothies and soups were also great help.

29) I was and still am an absolutely clean freak and organiser. Like my bag use to have books organised in this specific order English, Hindi, Maths, Science and then Social studies and it needs to been in this order or I would get anxious. Fortunately no one else in my house ever wanted to organise anything so I would organise everything with way I would want it to be while also being neat.

30) One of my biggest sources of stress came from how dirty my siblings made our room. I would deep clean everything and then organise our books , toys and clothes and then clean and organise our bed they would just bulldozers through and ruin all my hard work in a day or two. Unfortunately I had this sense of cleanliness and order since I was a child and my siblings who were even younger then me weren’t slobs(ok maybe my brother was but anyway) they just weren’t wired to like cleanliness and order like I did and being children anything I told them about how we can keep our room clean went over their heads because I was always their to do it for them.

31) I actually had many special interests growing up though I didn’t have trains as an interest except for the cool toy train set I got as a gift or the maglev trains who are objectively very cool. My biggest special interest were rocks, space and animals especially all the books Nat geography and scholastic puts out on animals. I actually had a rock collection mostly made up of sedimentary rock and a piece of lime stone which my mother later kept in the shed where it got lost during home construction. I also have a modest collection of books and another collection of small childhood trinkets that I still have (I recently bought a clay bird that mimics actual bird call when filled with a little water to add to my collection).

32) I forget I need to eat and drink it’s always been like this I don’t have that internal clock that says you are thirsty go drink water or you are hungry go eat food . I need to remind myself it’s been 12 hrs I probably need water it’s been 32 hrs you should probably get some food or at least have a protein shake it’s like my body has no sense of hunger or thirst but I am getting better at eating and drinking at least the drinking water part anyway.

33) I am tired it’s not recent but in the last few years since I became an adult I feel so tired I use to be the topper of my class the gifted children that participated in everything now I am in college and just getting an 80% feels draining everyone has so much hope for me that I could and should do better but I am just tired. I walk and trekk sometimes but I don’t participate in any events and I see others I see my roommate who participates in like 5 different events and still gets a 95% if she can do it why can’t I. I use to be able to do so much and now I don’t have the drive to do much of anything anymore it’s so painful to realise that I should do better but what does better looks like for someone who is as tired as I am.

I did took some online test as well just to see if I even had a chance and the results were mostly the same I have many Adhd/Autistic tendencies and should probably get a professional diagnosis. I would be very thankful if my fellow autistic and adhd people would help me add more targeted experiences so I can finally get a diagnosis

@my-autism-adhd-blog you inspired me write all of this down and it would be very helpful if you could guide me to get a better diagnosis because of your experience. Also I greatly enjoy the contents of your blog so thank you for that

[olive-fics]

Studying with Abby. SFW

You missed your best gf, Abby flipping Anderson. Of course you wanted to hang out with her.. but she was studying.. whatever. she can multitask ..Right??

☆Reader is hyperactive/neurodivergent in ways (?), Abby can get annoyed and angry..., slight angst, petnames, FEM reader, comfort at end.☆

For the girls and the gays, Men leave! (please)

☆My awesome friend Ara gave me this idea so Ilysm! &lt;3 ☆

CORRECT ME ON MY MISTAKES PLEASE!!!

"Sit still.." *Abby would groan placing her thick fingers on your hips, nudging you down into her hips. "You can't sit on my lap anymore if you keep moving peach, 'tis too distracting.." Abby would rub her nose and temples annoyed, not at you fully of course but the way you kept moving against her hips alone.

-This was probably your 4th time shifting on Abby's lap in just these past 10 minutes.

"Oh c'mon...you're hard to sit on when you study over the desk ..can't we just go lay down..? Get comfy..?"

"How the hell will I study when I'm laying down y/n." She was upset, something she never was with you.

"wh-"

"Please.. just- go sit down..I'll join you in a bit? Please let me study baby girl." Abby asked with a sigh.

As much as it hurt you, you still obliged to her command and sat down on the couch in her room. Of course you couldn't focus without being next to Abby, it made you nervous. Just sitting away from her made you anxious, that's when everything was louder and 10x intensified. The urge to bite your nails, sweat, click your tongue, crack knuckles, whatever you could fidget with was much more impulsive than usual.

Right as you decided to check your phone's time or mindlessly scroll online, it died. of course... time to do that fucking walk of shame up to Abby (who was now upset with you) and ask her if you can play piano tiles, candy crush or whatever games she let you download on her phone.

Getting up from the couch your bunny slippers shuffled across her mahogany floors with that airy "pfft" sound when the ears flipped up with each step.

"A-Abby..?" Fuck.. of course your voice was falling out. You got so nervous when Abby acted like this, which rarely happens.

Abby's office chair didn't move, instead Abby just replied short.

"Hm? what do you need."

"Can.. can I borrow your phone.. for- for games...?"

As much as Abby wanted to be angry at everything your stammering made her laugh.

"Such an Ipad kid..sure sure.." She sighed again, giving you mixed signals.

Abby handed you her Iphone, Abby had those clear cases with a little polaroid of you and her on the back encased by the plastic.

You smiled softly and ran off back to the couch bundling up under the blankets. Your fingers tapping at the screen and small sounds or music emitted from under the blankets. "Sweet!" "Tasty.." "Delicious."

As much as you were lost in Abby's screen you didn't even notice her calling your name...

"Y/n? Honey turn it down." "Y/n please, I need to finish studying.."

It was too late once you did hear her though, Abby was already on her feet marching to your place on the couch. She had pulled the blanket off of your head and gave you a small annoyed hand gesture.

"You gonna turn it down or do I have to take it from you?"

Embarrassment flushed out your cheeks into a bright red. How could you not hear her..?? You felt so stupid.

"I-I'm sorry Abs.. I- I'll turn it down.. I-.." Why were you stuttering now..? You felt so weak and little as Abby stood over you.

Abby could notice your mind rattling as you overthought the whole situation growing frustrated.

"Hey..Hey it's okay..i didn't mean to hurt your feelings love.. I'm so sorry." Abby frowned and held out her arms to you for a big hug.

With slight hesitation you still accepted Abby's hug and stuffed your face deep into her shoulders, the smell of her pine soap and hair washes filled your nose as you hugged her tightly.

"I'm almost done. Can you wait another 10 minutes?" Abby reassured you she would cuddle and chill with you as much as you wanted after. "Alright. I'm right here okay? Just wait a few." How was Abby so good at making you feel better. ughhhhhhhhh

After hearing Abby's keyboard click and her pencil dragging over her notebook for what seemed like forever, she finally got out of her office chair and looked at you with the warmest smile ever.

Abby walked over to you and draped the blanket over the two of you.

“I’m sorry Y/N. Movie night..?”

Fuck yes.?!?! Movie nights with Abby were the best. But then she hit the..

“I picked last time- what do you want to watch Pumpkin?”

God..you wanted to pick your favorite ofcourse..The muppets. (100% best movies…) but..you felt so bad for pestering her while studying so you put one of her favorite boring War movies on.

“Really..? You want to watch that..?”

Abby was kinda shocked you picked one of her favorites,but how you described it was..

“The Micheal Bay Film with the guns..and war-“

Abby put it on and kissed your forehead pulling you into her to cuddles.

“C’mon..I’m sorry about earlier..I love you..yknow that.?”

You nod and smile softly just emerging into her warmth and into the blankets because you just needed to sleep everything off,so did Abby.

“I love you princess..”

“I love you too…Abby..”

♡

HII sorry for lack of posts I cannot write cus my brain is slow.😞🔥‼️ but I have an Ellie Williams one shot or something coming up!! (Srs..) okay Goodnight :3 and thank you Ara for giving me this idea!!

[fumifooms]

Helki compilation

Helki is a prisoner-turned-servant. He’s a criminal canary and was implicitly one of Milsiril’s charges, and now that she’s retired he’s become her servant.

He must have gotten into Milsiril’s good graces, wether through attachment or convenience, which is a feat considering Milsiril’s a socially anxious recluse. Interesting since it’s not like he seems like the agreeable type, shifty upbeat delinquent style… We really don’t know much about him, not even what crimes he did, so there’s a lot of space for speculation on all grounds.

Edit: Shanghai QnA with Kui gave us a new juicy morsel of info!

Interesting… The original answer in japanese is: パッタドルと同じような杖を使っていました。今も同じものを支給されているのですが、すぐになくすのでもはや携帯していないようです。 That it’s written in japanese seems to say that there isn’t the same double translation issue there was last QnA, so if someone wants to look at the original phrasing and word choices it can be done. Perhaps Helki-Milsiril has a more protégé dynamic undertone than previously thought… "For various reasons", meaning circumstances that made it so the squad had to choose between saving him and saving their own skin, or like, "man this guy’s personality sucks we don’t really like him"? Likely to be a mix of several things, since ‘for various reasons’ implies the situation was either complex or they had multiple reasonings. In either case, the phrasing is very much that Milsiril couldn’t abandon him herself, and so a relationship sprung out of that. Another instance of outcasts seeking out and sticking with other outcasts in Dungeon Meshi. This could mean that it’s a bit less out of personal attachment and more out of a sense of duty on Milsiril’s side as well though.

Still edit: So then maybe him staying with Rin in that comic isn’t that much because of work ethics or that he cares for kids (or maybe he does because he feels kinship to them, alone and mistreated), but because he didn’t want to join the other canaries in that room chatting and laughing… Maybe the isolation was exacerbated because he became Milsiril’s favorite, teacher’s pet style, but I’d also be careful about assuming the others disproportionately dislike him, it could be that they just don’t really care for him. Why? Could be because of his personality, because he’s seen as shifty or unreliable or annoying, if an event, who knows who knows, but I like to think because of the Rin comic that he generally just tends to be a loner, that he’s "weird" in a neurodivergent vibe, he doesn’t conform to proper social behavior which in elven society seems especially alienating. He’s the only one with Rin to think of her sake, not only worth observing/caring for but also asks her to eat, but he does this with an offputting stare, not really emoting, and then well, the infamous alone with her staring munching covered in blood panel. He stands out. I’m a fan of the theory that it was a "Helki? Not that I dislike the guy but I’m not risking my skin for him" situation… Ok end edit back to older observations.

He seemed to be acting out of his own initiative in the Rin comic, he doesn’t look thrilled to be there in many post-canary comics but he also seems content enough. He restrains Milsiril in the Mithrun cleaning comic which is interesting to think of for their relationship.

It’s fun to notice how he’s the only one that didn’t get bored of looking after Rin, and then reports back about her condition… I’d say he was getting used to taking care of kids which would come with the job of serving Milsiril, but then, not enough for him to clean the blood off himself hah. In this way it’s interesting to think about his relationship to the idea of parenthood, he’s probably the closest thing to a father figure/male role model Kabru had growing up, without mentioning the other kids. I feel like he’d consider himself an older brother, cousin or uncle figure sooo much sooner than a father, but even then I do think it’s just his job and he’s not really invested or forming real relationships with any of them much.

It’s curious to note that he’s dressed in canary uniform presumably after having been pardoned and living with Milsiril? Which you can tell by the armor bits (the yellow strips of spider silk). In the Kabru training montage and the Rin comic specifically. It seems very implausible for him to have still been a canary while being a retired Milsiril’s servant and being with her all the time, and the cleaning with Mithrun comic (where he’s not in uniform) happens after Utaya so it could happen after Kabru was taken in but around the time of the Rin comic. So why uniform? It could be one of the best outfits he has, so it’d make sense to wear it around especially if you’re sparring or getting… Blood on you? Could just be because that's how Milsiril wants him to dress. But yeah we don't know when exactly Helki becoming Milsiril’s servant happened. We do see Mithrun’s charge Cithis be tasked with taking care of him, so a charge being given a servant-caretaker role doesn’t seem all that out of the ordinary, sometimes even prior to retiring.

Imo, if he doesn't work for Milsiril he goes back to jail/the canaries/has to try and get a job instead of just tending to her, so Helki is staying with Milsiril because she's the best option for him. He’s her milsiril's personal servant and does mostly dull tasks involved in that. He’s not particularly suited to the role but they’ve gotten used to each other to him so she took him with her, and he does prefer it to canary work so it works out decent for him. I think he’s used to reading her and managing her moods and he’s one of the rare social connection she has.

Under spoiler is stage 2 interpretation stuff, bigger speculation, in a reblog I’ll make soon I’ll go over my thoughts for stage 3 interpretation lol. Helsiril I’m coming for you

Translation of the canary hierachy chart used is by Thatsmimi, here

[thrashkink-coven]

Special reminder to all the new Luciferians that forgot that he is the adversary, yeah, he’s gonna fuck with you FOR FUN.

If you’ve been working with Lucifer for a week or so and have started getting “conflicting” messages, you are not alone 😩. Lucifer loves to test us, he loves to see how deep our values go. He will purposely say things you disagree with or it would seem like he would disagree with just to fuck with you. This dude LOVES to debate.

For example, a large part of my relationship with Lucifer involved coming to terms with my neurodivergency. For weeks we were working on accepting my limits, being aware of my disorders and having patience for myself. But during a meditation I got the very strong message from him “People with mental illnesses are just looking for an excuse to be lazy”

and I was like ????? what the fuck???? No they’re not??? You fucking idiot???? Who am I talking to right now???? And he was like “yes and anyone who claims to have a disorder without a diagnosis are just looking for attention. Prove me wrong if you think differently”

and I blew up, providing so many arguments for why he’s wrong and why that stance is so stupid, and eventually after a while he was like “Hm… that’s interesting. I guess you’re right. Now that we’ve established this I guess we won’t need entertain the idea anymore”

and any time after that, when I was having self doubts, maybe I’m just faking it for attention, maybe I’m just lazy, Lucifer has been like “OH! So I guess I WAS right!” and I’ve been like NOOO!!!!!! YOURE WRONG!!! THE ENTIRE IDEA IS STUPID AND I WONT LET YOU TELL ME OTHERWISE!!!

and Lucifer will then be like “Oh, good then. Don’t let you tell you otherwise either”.

He will press your boundaries, even if only to make sure YOU know where your boundaries are. When writing a spell together Lucifer has been like “yes, we will also need to sacrifice a cat”

and I’ve been like “wtf no we’re not sacrificing a cat why the hell would I do that”

and he’s responded “Because I said so. You will obey my order without question.” (again, extremely out of character, this is a test’!)

until I finally put my foot down and say “I don’t care who or what you are, doing this goes against my core values and I will not abandon those for you or anyone. With all due respect I refuse to do this task”

and Lucifer will be like “I’m just fucking with you, I really liked the way you stood your ground against me though, that was very hot”

and for even less obvious things, Lucifer will test you. He wants to know why you think the things you think. We recently had a very long conversation about the concept of Pedophilia. Super uncomfortable, a conversation I didn’t know we’d ever have, but it was important. He starts by asking me if pedophilia is wrong. Um what??? Obviously???

“Why is it wrong? Explain your reasoning.”

Well because it hurts kids.

“What about non offending pedophiles? What about pre offending reformed pedophiles?”

You don’t have to have the answer to those questions, but you must understand that the answers to those questions matter, even though they are incredibly uncomfortable. Are there evil people? Do evil people deserve empathy? What is an evil person? I don’t like thinking about that, that’s the reason why I don’t have an answer. Lucifer will force you to come to that answer.

“How do we conduct a society where we prevent pedophiles from hurting children without creating another form of discrimination? Do you believe pedophiles deserve empathy? Do they deserve to die? How do we deal with murderers and rapists without becoming murderers and rapists ourselves? How do you console yourself with the reality that some people genuinely enjoy evil things? If you were the Emperor of Hell, how would you manage all the most wicked people who have ever lived? Why is incest bad? Why is murder bad? Do racists deserve to die? Do war criminals deserve to die? Who should be allowed to determine who deserves to die? How far does your empathy extend to people who have done horrible things? How does your moral compass navigate these complex scenarios? What is right and what is wrong? Why do you believe the things you believe?”

There will be times when it seems like he’s trying to do everything in his power to just disagree with you. It’ll seem like he’s leading you to argue with him, and that’s exactly what he’s doing. He’ll ask you questions that should seem like common sense. He’s establishing that not only is it okay to disagree with him, but that at times, he will force you to, to ensure that you are not deriving your own personal values from “whatever God tells you”. He will lie to you, just to see if you’re able to identity a lie. He will say things that he obviously doesn’t believe, only to hear why YOU don’t believe it. It’s important to be firm on your boundaries even if your God is pushing them. You should not be afraid to disagree. You should not be afraid to disobey if it is important to you. Lucifer is not a Shepard and you are not a sheep. You need to understand your own morality alone, without God, without a cheat sheet telling you the answers. and you need to be firm on those. To the point that if God Himself told you differently, you wouldn’t budge.

So if you’ve started working with him recently and are confused as to why he suddenly started saying things you disagree with, investigate what he may be trying to get across. You’ll learn a lot more about yourself.

[sid3buns]

ITOSHI RIN UR EXISTENCE MAKES ME SO SAD.

What do you mean. What do you mean your parents are normal and they just either didn't understand or want to bother raising a super neurodivergent kid so they bailed on you and let your brother handle you and you can't even picture their faces in your memories.

What do you mean the love of your life (familial) Itoshi Sae was hellbent on protecting your treasured existence from the woes of the world because he understood you were different and you needed to be loved for it. What do you mean the Greatest Martyr to live Itoshi Sae couldn't find the proper way to guide you through the growing pains because he himself was broken inside when he came back from Spain and all that was left as an option to him was to hurt you because he was hurting as well and had no idea how to navigate his own depression and keep protecting you. So he became your monster.

And WHAT DO. YOU. MEAN. Rin has been facing loneliness and miscaracterisation his entire life and the one person who understood him told him to his face to disappear from his existence and it made him SO LONELY. SO FUCKING LONELY that he built this fortress of misery around himself and fires his pent up hurt with a volley of aggression that only the bravest will survive and that's how Rin can determine if someone will enter his inner garden or not.

Rin is a hurt creature who is afraid and doesn't know how not to bite the hand that wants to gently caress him. Mend him. Give him a loving home. Rin bites and bites and bites and waiting for him at the end of the road stand the few people who aren't afraid of scars.

[horizon-verizon]

Now I did not watch the new S2 episode. I'm hearing abt it from people who have. And pretty much all the leaks were authentic regarding B&C.

I wrote abt the Sophie's Choice of bk!Helaena in the bk!B&C HERE, when someone asked me abt it. The other unserious things abt Blood & Cheese of HotD is that in the bk:

the psychological torture Helaena goes thru could either be Cheese trying to have fun (unlikely, they were on a "timer") OR it is Daemon reverting, perverting, etc. Rhaenyra's loss--Rhaenyra was not there to witness Lucerys or even be able to have his remains....Helaena will participate in her own son's murder, so to speak

bk!Cheese was very knowledgesble abt where to go and how, which tunnels to use...which is why he was chosen in the first place and why his "job "profession" (ratcatcher) is so important, bc these guys know where to lay traps in hidden places for rats -> to make as if Cheese is ignorant as to how to lead Blood into the castle makes as if Daemon was more incompetent and careless than either have been canonically shown to be, even when they are angry or aggrieved

also, regarding show!Helaena giving offering her necklace and very quickly pointing out which kid was a boy as if she could not wait to abandon Jaehaerys while bk!Helaena offered her very life before she was forced to choose any kid is just disrespectful not only to her intelligence but neurodivergent people. Esp since if we argue she had some sort of autism or what have you. To rely on one's neurodivergence to explain why they--compared to the book where she was more active--didn't take that action is a cop out and is almost a generalization. Please. Again, she's supposedly a dreamer and has had access to such dreams since her preteen yrs in the show, so it's likely she had known what was going to happen in this moment if she also had known abt "beast beneath the boards", "spiders (the war)", etc. No HotD didn't show us more moments exactly proving that, but since they also had her do absolutely nothing with those visions like the original Cassandra actually tried to do, no one can tell me it didn't happen. In fact, I can say it's bc she never actually does anything with her dreams (and therefore we'll never really know if she had B&C "dreams" so I can cont with this hypothetical, as its likelihood is stronger than it should have been) that I can say that even her own kids dying doesn't seem to faze her enough to make a plan of sorts to herself? Or to be able to think as she tried in the bk when they forced her to choose. Show!Helaena has "dreams" (they aren't even dragon dreams) but unlike Cassandra, she does nothing with them. Again, it very likely B&C appeared to her in her so-called "dreams", she does what she always does--nothing...but not only does she finally decide to do something, she thought a fucking necklace would help her or her kids and this is as much as we get for her in this show? We had the opp to display a fuller character apart from her emotional remove and suggestion of prophecy, and when we do, we only see her like this? They traveled all this way, risked getting caught and viciously executed, to kill ONE mutherfucking child, and these writers really thought that it was a good idea to have Helaena do this, think this would work even an iota? No, all this was such lazy, cheap writing bc the writers decided that her just having visions made up for her small character in the orig tale and that they didn't have to do else for her--they started and left her half done, it seems. Let's say the B&C dream never appeared to her; this is till the writers taking away the agency I already described above in the link---Helaena is a nothing character whose dreams still mean nothing to no one expect people who want to feel smart the way it exists in the show itself. Helaena has always been a victim, but they made her more abominably victimized...as I already said they do HERE & HERE. She's just around, waiting to be abused by the script and those around her for plot convenience's sake. There is no substance or personhood to her, she is only a purpose.

So, love that for Ryan. Seemed lukewarm.

But what did anyone expect, seeing as the same writers responsible for Aemond's "accident" (having tried for months to convince us that this was exusable even with it not being his intention to kill), for Alicent sincerely forgiving Rhaenyra after she had been on her ass and abusing her and her kids (and threatening their lives) for years and almost stabbing out Luke's eye, for Rhaenyra somehow being so affected by a stupid ass page of Nymeria (of all people!, you made Alicent pull out this page of a woman who lead armies to conquest as a consummate leader in her own right, who lead said armies to make sure her people survived, in order to dissuade Rhaenyra from fighting for what she sees as her birthright/designated seat of power and to also make sure her family/unit survives?!) to derail her from really confronting any of them in battle...🤷🏿‍♂️

[leidensygdom]

Ok, I'm gonna start a post idea I had been pondering. If you're either mentally or physically disabled and you have opinions about representation, this is the thread for you!

So, I've been seeing more people trying to tackle the topic of autism in their stories, but I've felt some of it tries to woobify a bit what is to live with autism, or just focus on the more socially acceptable quirks of it. And as someone with autism/ADHD (was suspected of it for most of my life, got it finally diagnosed by my therapist (who specializes in autism and ADHD) last year), sometimes I'd like for people to acknowledge the more unsavoury parts of it, the weird quirks, etc.

So, this post is going to be about that- If you wanna help people understand how your disability/neurodivergency affects your life, feel free to add to it! Just mention what do you have (no need for a full list, just what you consider relevant to the post) and some experiences, quirks, anecdotes or such that you think that are not often seen in stories or media, and that you consider an important part of it. They don't need to be huge things! I encourage people to share just whatever they feel comfortable. My list is gonna be a mix of stuff, but yours can be very different. Let me start!

Clothes and how they feel was surprisingly one of the most disruptive parts of my autism. As a kid, if I was forced to wear something that caused me some bad texture/sensitivity issues, it would significantly affect my behaviour and performance. It took me many years to be allowed to use mostly sportswear. (And it turns out being a "girl" (not anymore) wearing only sportswear tends to cause a whole lot of bullying)

This happens even nowadays. I've found out that non-heeled boots are more comfortable to me than sport shoes, because feeling something against the back of my foot makes me feel overwhelmed. I tend to wear yoga pants under actual pants, because they keep the actual pants' seams from causing sensory issues. There's almost a sort of ritual on how do I need to combine clothes to be able to function "normally", mostly consisting on reducing how much they annoy me.

On that topic, hygiene is actually a huge thing too. As a kid, I wasn't allowed to shower daily. Days I didn't shower, no matter how much I tried to keep my hygiene in other days, were "bad days" to me. I would literally plan hanging out with friends or eating out around the days I was allowed to shower. I could physically feel the difference between the day I showered and the day I didn't (even if I washed my face, armpits, used the bidet, etc).

This is true even nowadays. I can thankfully now shower daily, which isn't recommended by a lot of experts (specially because it can damage your hair and skin), but it's more worth to me than having days where I feel like I shouldn't be seen in public.

Being overwhelmed sucks! Meltdowns are mostly associated with kids, mostly because adults either learn to mask them, or do everything they can to AVOID having that meltdown. I've mostly figured out routines and such. There's this one place we go eat out every other Tuesday- And in the hours we go in, there's a sort of silent corner that is always free. This week's schedule was a mess, so we went yesterday to that same place, and the silent corner was filled with a very loud group. I got extremely overwhelmed. But enough masking drilled to me means I just sat there unable to talk for maybe 30 minutes.

Autistic adults still do have autism and experience often the full spread of traits, they've just found ways to mask, or avoid being in situations where they do need to do that. I've adapted my life and routine to that. But sometimes I land on situations out of my comfort zone that will make me feel just like when I was a kid. I want to freelance online because I'm fully aware I can't perform properly in a public facing job.

Group projects sucked so much. I know they suck for most people, but most times it was easier for me to do the entirety of the project by myself and add the others' names to it than dealing with chasing people for their parts. My college had a 6-months-long massive group project in the last year, with a 7 people group, which obviously I couldn't do alone. The whole experience was so harmful in so many ways I've had several full therapy sessions talking about it :'')

One of the reasons it's because mental flexibility is HARD with autism. If i set a schedule, I expect that schedule to be followed. If people agree to do a part, I expect that part to be delivered (unless there's a proper reason) on due time. People hate this a lot usually! It will tear group projects apart!

Stimming can be harmless, or it can be very annoying to some. I tend to shake legs and play with something in my hands. I could easy this off drawing in classes- My high school found out that I was paying more attention when I was allowed to draw in classes, and my academic performance was pretty much perfect, so they gave me permission to do that.

However, I had a teacher in middle school that did forbid me from drawing. I stimmed during a class with pens- She got so mad she sent me home with a note to my parents they had to sign. Fun!

Not exactly an anecdote, but I am ace. I hate the discourse about "making an autistic person be aro or ace is infantilizing autism". Aro/ace people can have autism. That's just how it is. I've been infantilized a lot for being ace- Which only got worse because I am autistic, and people perceived some of my special interests as child-ish. The combo didn't make things easy.

On that topic, people will often be very patronizing of your opinions or takes for being autistic. I've had people debate my sexuality (or lack of thereof), my gender identity and presentation, my hobbies, my preferences for everything, down to "what do you want to eat tonight?". This isn't too different to shitty takes about how "autistic people are more prone to being affected by the trans activistsTM", because people assume autistic people can't choose on their own. Trust me: We can.

Anyhow, I'd love if this post could be a good compilation of these sort of anecdotes! I think it could help people who wanna learn more about what is it to live with specific disabilities (and how to better portray them in media)

[italianpersonwithashippersheart]

Taishin reads as a neurodivergent kid whos ernest curiousity and innocent wasn't forcebily destroyed by the world.

As a neurodivergent person (90% sure currently self diagnosed only) it reads to me that Taishin was probably very loved and very sheltered. He also probably never had that many friends. The sheltering was probably a little to his detrument, but I think it's preferable to the alternative.

He is curious and ernest and eager to learn. Social situations and relationship are confusing. He also feels a lot for others. He latches onto the rules of a stan because that explains what he is feeling and the rules are simple and easy to understand and follow.

The problem of course that Takara doesn't want a stan and you can't have a close relationship (friendship or romantic) to someone you are stanning.

And also I think Taishin realized at the end that he wasn't a stan, or at least was about too, because even on the surface the idea of being a stan matches to what he was feeling. The idea of not being hable to be next to Takara or interact with him in any way made him sad.

His questions are not being answeared (as @lurkingshan pointed out here) and he doesn't know how to navigate new feelings or new situations with no guidence or knowledge of how to correctly identifying what the feeling of being in love or having a crush is.

There is only an actress for a Taishin Mom and we only saw a Mom and a sister in the phone call in the previous episodes. So I think his Mom might have been a single Mom. And he doesn't read to me as someone who is super into media or fiction or watching tv. That plus the sheltering and protecting and not having a relationship to observe probably left him very unware about love in general.

I definately agree with @lurkingshan that Takara is not answearing his questions because he wants Taishin to arrive there on his own and because of his own influence on him.

I think the new relationship between Emiri and Akira might put love and relationship in his head a little more and he will either arrive there on his own or ask for advice from someone else. Maybe Minami since she was so helpful during the welcome party.

I'm very intrigued and curious about Takara's backstory reveal next episode.

Another thing about Taishin that is very neurodivergent coded (at least in a very similar way to what I am personally used to) is that he is pretty good at realizing when he said something "weird" after he said it (he can recognize emotions and reaction in others decently well but not in himself and he is also probably used to getting reactions when he says something that other people find "weird"), but he doesn't seem to be able to recognize if something is "weird" to ask before hand.

Also the umbrella clutching at end, and how it turned to tense and stiff to exicted fidgeting. Perfection.

[tealvenetianmask]

Some thoughts on Blitz having combined type ADHD and why it matters to me . . .

First, I'm not negating other neurodivergences that he might have or other roots of his issues. I do think he also has dyslexia, and I also think his father didn't bother to get him much of an education. And yes, a lot of the traits I'm about to write about overlap too with ASD and various trauma responses. Comorbidity is real, and we're talking about fiction and only have so much to go on. Your interpretations/ways of diagnosing him are valid even if they don't match mine. Cool? Okay, let's go.

Inattentive symptoms. Blitz's plans come off as disorganized/chaotic, he doesn't do paperwork, doesn't know what insurance is, and visibly zones out during some conversations. He also hyperfocuses when something strikes an emotional cord, i.e. following M&M and looking for his sister, and can't focus on anything else. Random tangents and doodles seem to be a regular part of his workday. He can do fucking somersaults in midair but falls on his cute little face when he's not paying attention to where he's walking.

Hyperactive symptoms. He's bursting with energy and almost always seems ready to get up and go. He's randomly climbing things/sitting weird in chairs all the time, even as an adult. I thought this was an imp trait. Other imps don't do this. It's a Blitz trait. He speaks without thinking a lot and seems to process things out loud.

Strengths. He's calm and strategic in a crisis. He's creative and excited about his own ideas. He's at home in chaos and makes chaos WORK for him. He improvises. He's always wanted to be the boss of his own company and do things his own way. I love him so much. I love that being different/original/chaotic is portrayed so positively.

RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria). Without going into Blitz's everything, the gist is that behind the front that he doesn't care, Blitz is super sensitive to being rejected and spends a lot of time scared that rejection is going to happen. Look at him at the end of Ozzie's. Listen. This can be caused by A LOT of things, but it's super common with ADHD too, mostly because we have a ton of experience with being rejected and trouble predicting when it's going to happen. Among everything that's happened to him, Blitz had lots of "not good enough" moments as a kid.

There's a lot more. I was going to do screenshots but got overwhelmed by how many episodes I'd have to sift through.

Why I care:

I'm feeling well represented of course. So often, the person with ADHD in a piece of media is a kid, or if they're an adult, they're the primarily inattentive type. I'm still hyperactive in adulthood, and when I'm not masking enough, my behavior gets misunderstood a lot (some of this also comes from being a woman, but since I'm talking about a male character here . . . another time). It's fun and affirming to see a character in fiction who's not masking his ADHD much (because he really isn't good at that lol) and has a ton of issues but kind of rocks at being himself anyway.

[theoutsiderscomfort]

Time for the final outsiders gang headcanon before I have to come up with more ideas.

Sodapop Curtis Headcanons

Usually I don’t jump straight into the neurodivergent headcanon but today I am

This guy has raging ADHD

He is the definition of ADHD. When you look it up in a dictionary, it’s just a picture of Sodapop

He can never sit still. He is always fidgeting in some way

His teachers used to hate him being in their class because he wouldn’t sit still for more than 5 minutes at a time

He also has a undiagnosed learning disability/disabilities

He had a teacher call him dumb when he was in 2nd or 3rd grade and it has stuck with him all these years

His teachers thought he was never listening in class but he was, he just didn’t understand when they explained it

He is a very hands on learner which is why he was good at mechanics and gym

Ask him what Shakespeare meant in that line from Romeo and Juliet? No clue. Ask him why the car sounds like it’s rattling? He is explaining every possible reason why

Honestly could ramble about adhd and learning disabilities headcanons for Soda all day but that’s not what you are here for

He was the kind of kid growing up, who would trip over, scrap their elbows and hands yet still get up with a massive smile on his face

This guy forgets to put on his shoes more times then he will admit

At least a few times a week, Steve has to remind him to put on his shoes for work

He has a massive sweet tooth. I mean he canonly puts jam with his eggs, something that doesn’t usually need a sweet element

He was a big mamas boy growing up. He just loved spending time with his mom

He didn’t even care if they just went to the hair stylist. He liked the pretty ladies who would talk about how cute he was

Both of his parents deaths hit hard but his moms hit just the tinest bit more

I had to put a tiny bit of angst in

He eventually starts working part time with horses

Training them, cleaning their stables, riding them, just anything to do with horses

He would eventually have enough money to buy his own horse

Someone give this man a horse because I will never get over Soda losing Mickey Mouse

I don’t know what’s with the Curtis brothers and my ability to ramble about my neurodivergent headcanons for them

[inkyarcturus]

Fun idea I’ve had bouncing around about Remus:

You know how queer/neurodivergent kids have that one teacher that they bond to? You know what I’m talking about- you’ve seen the memes about the gay kid and the English/art teacher bond.

I like to imagine that Remus just has a tiny group of kids who hung out in his classroom to feel safe.

He would leave his door open constantly and during lunch, he would offer to call a house elf for hot chocolate, tea, biscuits or other sweets for the kids. If he noticed one of his kids doesn’t eat lunch, he would quietly pull them to the side and ask what was up.

The kids would talk to him abt literally anything under the sun. Some would even go and ask for help for other classes (quite a few for potions, none of which were slytherins)

He’d have a small bowl of pride pins and flags up for grabs on his desk which his kids occasionally take, always causing him to give a little smile to the kid.

I don’t know. I just image Remus as the designated safe teacher. He’d be the one to notice a kid struggling and offer help or ask what’s wrong. He’d be the one that students go to when they have problems at home, were being bullied or just needed someone to talk to.