#wanted to mostly try my hand at them
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dirtbags lmao
#an extremely goofy movie#bradley uppercrust iii#max goof#maxley#question mark…#my art#wanted to mostly try my hand at them
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It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.
At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return.
It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzy’s face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.
Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug.
“Israel-goddamn-Hands!” he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging “Samuel-fucking-Bellamy”, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he can’t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.
(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)
By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still there’s an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mate’s aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.
When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.
Knowing that something’s different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal he’s been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. “Israel, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safe”
And Izzy… hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam “...We’re staying in port for a week. Ask me again then”
That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.
#i feel like the little paragraph about the crew is real clunky and out of place but i wanted some kind of establishment of where those#dynamics are at. its important that the crew is something for izzy to consider in his decision; but also that their relationship isnt so#solid he would stay for them alone; yknow?#im sorta aiming for a s2e5 era but like. early in those themes. he cant be all sorted yet i need him to be struggling#anyway this is part of a much larger scenario in my head that im never ever doing anything with but i wrote THIS bit in a daze in like. jun#and i got thinking about it again and i think?? it holds its own as a 'hey think about THIS' snippet. idk you decide#youre welcome to interpret this as solo bellhands but in my head it Has morphed into sam/izzy/ed/stede#because i cant not put edizzy in things any more. izzy has two hands#i also think the comedy potential of one of your boyfriends HATING your other boyfriend is gold. 10/10 dynamic#stede is mostly along for the ride in this but also i think they need him#aaaaand. the sam/ed bracket i think can only be closed in exceptional circumstances. i think they 'hate' each other too much#...which is WHY someones getting kidnapped!!! yay#anyway its all irrelevant because ill never write it out. i can do silly chill things but thatll require work#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#sam bellamy#bellhands#i wanna also say. the general concept of repeated sam proposals has been floating around my head forever#it used to be a more silly thing like i referenced at the start but. s2 gave me angsty feelings i guess#i cant not have izzy have feelings for ed right now which inherently adds layers to Any bellhands scenarios i think.#but yeah. its a Classic Bellhands vibe for me. sam seeing izzy at sea or on shore and asking him to marry him (again)#i like to do this with jackie too. i think i just want that man to be obnoxiously desired#(theres also layers of my personal hornigold era lore built into this but i hope it holds up without u knowing it. tldr. sam lost izzy by#being an idiot n fumbling the bag. thats what matters. izzy went with ed and sams been trying to fix it ever since)#i probably should have readmore'd this but i didnt think it was Quite long enough. or had a good break point. sorry <3
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YO I LOVED YOUR ANIMATIC ON YOUTUBE
Also, are you on the "Peri's a bit more magically powerful but suppresses it bandwagon"? Because I noticed that Wanda and Cosmo have regular human ears while Peri doesn't.
Eneways Have a Good Day!!
YOU KNOW WHAT I actually hadn't heard that headcanon yet when I made the animatic but the more I think about it the more in love I am with the idea.
I would be so ironically tragic if part of Peri struggling so much to look human was a direct result of how powerful his magic is and having to suppress it ♥
POV the one thing you want most in the world ia specifically unavailable to you and you only because of something many would call a gift
#I gave them rounded ears because I arbitrarily decided to put them in human form#I think cause I wanted to make them more smothering looking#and also because the wings and ears and crowns felt too cluttering#fop#fairly oddparents#I have a confession I never watched the end of the original FOP#I didnt have a tv in my house so I only watched cartoons at my grandmas house but she started getting unpleasant 💔#I mostly knew about poof through adverts and only caught a few episodes nearing the end#So a lot of lore Im having to learn second hand while I try to speedrun watching the old show#Its not going well I suck at sitting down to watch things#Im addicted to procrastinating even things I want to do. Its agonizing
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A Mandated Holiday Break - Chapter 7
Characters: Sylus x gn!mc (poly lads)
Warnings: None
Word Count: 1554
Written: 22nd December 2024
Notes: Post-relationship Sylus/MC-centric but poly LADs, with my personal pov of the game and lil headcanons littered in.
Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11
Masterlist AO3
He's been relegated to picking up supplies. You'd thrust a list at him that morning, and he'd almost seen a tail behind you, flicking and curling like a question mark.
It isn't the first time you've had him wrapped around your finger, requesting his assistance. Normally you only ask when you're sick, desperate for supplies and he's available. (He'll always be available.)
Still, this time you've handed him a list for crafts, shoved him from his own base, and you peppered his face in kisses before he can even respond or argue.
Not that he would, but he wishes you would at least come shopping with him. He's found himself enjoying the domesticity of you puttering around aisles while he pushes a trolley. If he takes his eyes off you, you'll steal the trolley and go skidding down an empty aisle.
Which is how he stands now, in the living room of his base, hands full of arts and crafts supplies, while he stares at a tree he doesn't remember buying.
It's twinkling with lights half done, but otherwise it bears no decoration. The twins are balancing on each other's shoulders trying to throw the multicoloured flashing lights up towards the top of it. You're there underneath, ready to catch them if them.
He's pretty sure someone's going to end up with a broken bone. (Which he does not want to explain to the doctor.)
With a flick of his finger, black and red swirling mist quickly remove lights from hands and twist them around the top of the tree. Gently, and carefully.
He's only slightly smug, smirk in full, when you turn to him in surprise. He's even more smug when your face instantly warms, eyes twinkling at him.
If he were really a crow, his feathers would poof up and he'd preen. Instead he wipes his hand on his shirt collar and extends the bags he's holding, "For you, kitten."
Your whirlwind of activity rushes over, the twins wobbling before they manage to detangle themselves, grabbing at the bag and pulling them to the floor. Separating things out.
He watches absently, but you're focused and tapping on your chin as you think, so he abandons you to your considerations to make himself useful. Warm drinks in hand before he returns to you.
Sylus finds you showing the twins how to fold and make ornaments with coloured paper. He hesitates at the door, if you had wanted ornaments, why did you not just ask for them? He could have ordered any number. Any colour. Anything you wanted.
He's again unsettled by a strange uncomfortable dissatisfaction, you do not make it easy to provide for you. To satisfy every desire. He wonders how you became someone who holds them so close to the chest, scared to want, all over again. He offers hot chocolate to the twins, and frothed coffee to you, (the smell never gets better), before sitting next to you on the floor, cross legged and curious.
You look over and grin, and for a second he sees ears tilting forwards in mischief, pupils blown and ready to pounce. "We didn't have a lot growing up, so me and Caleb would make ornaments for the tree with Gran. The twins wanted to try..." there's a question there that you want to ask but you can't quite... get the words out.
He can read you well enough to know the hesitation, and he leans in, voice low, fingers brushing your cheek, "Show me."
Sylus prides himself on learning, he's good at picking up skills, but he cannot be said to be creative. He is, however, good at following steps. He does, however, enjoy trying.
It's not a new skill that will be useful for anything other than moments like this, but truthfully if he only ever learned skills for moments like this, he'd be a happier fiend than he has any right to.
The twins decide to get pens and decorate the shapes he folds, while you sit nearby fretting over a new challenge. He finds himself looking over and peering but you catch him and point at his hands in an unspoken order. Focus.
He chuckles, only you would dare to order him about, and only you would gain his obedience as he follows your orders.
As they end up with a pile of... he's not sure he'd call anything he and the twins have made art, the fish would surely have something to say if he tried, he already dreads the upcoming conversation, but you're thrilled and excited as you come over to look. Picking up paper baubles and stars that the twins have drawn silly faces on.
There's a happy flush to Luke and Kieran's face as you wholeheartedly approve, and he swallows a lump in his throat that he doesn't really understand. Yet he wants to cry, he thinks, and he's not really sure why. Or what caused it.
He doesn't linger, doesn't have time, as you're pushing him towards the tree, "You get the top, Luke, middle, Kieran, bottom." Then you're running off.
He's starting to think the holidays are a little too much trouble... (Warm, vibrant, comforting.) That lilting voice that sounds like yours again.
Your soul is always so noisy, he muses, warmed and placated.
They're almost done when you come back, this time you're not as energetic. There's waves coming off you, nerves and anxiety rippling under skin. He pauses, where he's about to hang a star, and looks down at you. As soon as he does you swallow, shoving a cardboard box into his arms.
Not a box? It has numbers on it?
"We-" you swallow past the nerves and push on. Ever ready to fight a monster. Even if the monster is yourself, "also used to make calendars for each other. It's late, so it's only twelve days." He catches your hand before it scratches at your arm, smoothing his thumb over your fingers and then rubbing circles into your palm. He blinks down at the thing, and sees today. He drops the star he's holding unceremoniously and presses the little cardboard flap open.
The calendar is decorated with a picture of a crow surrounded by presents. He remembers the fish encouraging your artistic pursuits, and while he's not sure if it's good, he never seems to be sure if it's good... he knows he likes it.
Inside is a hand wrapped chocolate and a small note.
Day one - A reminder that I love you, and appreciate you always, thank you Sylus.
You're still fidgeting, and at this point the twins have peeked their heads over to stare at his bounty. The longer he stares, the more he realises he has to speak, has to respond but his throat feels closed and his chest is so tight. It hurts. It hurts.
"If it's stupid you don't have to-"
He drops his calendar and he presses you into his chest. He's sure if he were better practiced in his emotions he'd cry. Instead he just encompasses you in his body, squeezing and holding and drowning in you. He nips at your cheek, hand squeezing your face, he wants to bite and chew and claw and scratch.
He can't understand and he doesn't want to hurt, but he breathes you in. Relieved he has no tail to betray him, wagging furiously. You're giggling at his reaction, trying to pull away from his rough handling, calling his name out like knives in his heart, and he finally kisses you. Over and over and over. Tasting his name on your lips and your love in his heart.
Then he startles, pulling away quickly to see that thankfully the twins had caught his gift, the note and the chocolate. Placing it on the side. They're giving him a look like he's a fool, he might be, because he has an evol that can move things for him. Instead his foolish body betrayed him.
"Hunter! Do we get one?" Luke calls, pouting, and you keep a hold on Sylus' hand. Grounding him as he looks at your note over and over, pressing your thumb into his wrist, and smoothing his rapid uneven heartbeat there.
Still you extend a makeshift calendar to the twins, one each, identical except for the names. He can tell that you'd been careful to match every line. "Of course."
He absently notes that you've left four more on the side. The fish, the doctor, the prince and an untouched one for your family. The note is finally placed in his pocket, right over his heart, where he knows he'll keep it until it's worn and unreadable. Not that it matters, because he'll remember it always.
As you watch him smooth his fingers over it, you laugh, "You know there's eleven more days of those right?" Your nerves are still simmering, he can tell, but you're thrilled for his reaction and eased with his earnestness and joy. He lets your words settle and then darts to the calendar on the side, he hears the twins opening theirs but barely cares.
You panic when you realise he's going to just tear the thing open for more of your feelings recorded in pretty stationary paper, before you throw yourself at his back, "Sylus! No! They're for other days!"
#wonder writes#love and deepspace#sylus#lads sylus#lads x reader#lads x mc#sylus x reader#reader x sylus#lads#love and deepspace sylus#a mandated Christmas break#so... I'll be real. is lads a utopia cause I need to know how the old lady who experimented for ever and may or may not have been in hiding#had enough for a fancy house#so in my mind she had money hidden away to build a new life#but in general wasn't wealthy by any standard#mostly cause I grew up poor and I adore the idea of Caleb and MC trying to make josie happy with handmade gifts#and handmade things because it meant they strained the woman who raised them less#anyway tldr#the kids were poor.#also if you want to know what I have written down for the other day 1 calendars#Luke: your humour and laughter brightens any room#Kieran: your smarts and quick thinking make any challenge fun#Xavier: thank you for always lighting up the dark#Raffy: your passionate heart and creative hand make days better#Zayne: thank you for protecting my heart every day in every way#also I totally ascribe sylus to my level of patience#I can wait years for something but the second that I get an announcement that it's soon. I need it NOW
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Its 2am and Im out here crying over a SKELETON IM 😭😭😭😭😭
#so glad my dice pal who also romanced emmrich is still up so I could scream with them about this cause#aassSD;UF;SDHG#MANFRED MY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and fuck man I'm crying again#I really truly believe that if emmrich desperately wanted lichdom he wouldn't have asked us to make that choice for him#he was afraid and thats okay!! ITS OKAY#its so fucking reasonable for him to be afraid of death#like I wasn't going to make him a lich regardless#but when it came down to it#that was the easiest fucking choice of the entire game#gosh my human emotions#the look as manfred handed him the book was just a tko#completely rekt me#hes and savrin are gonna be living out the rest of their days teaching their skeleton son not accidentally blow the library up#oh man savrin is mostly lightning magic#can already see this poor skeleton zapping himself just so many times trying to get the hang of it#magic! like you!!#pLEASE i am DECEASED#emmrich#emmrich volkarin#dragon age#da4#da4 spoilers#datv spoilers#datv#da:tv spoilers#da:tv#veilguard spoilers#veilguard#savrin de riva
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janeway in tuvix but make it threshold au. no i won't elaborate
#mostly an excuse to try my hand at threshold janeway. she amuses me greatly#wait i will elaborate. in my mind tuvix would be in a constant dad mode (tuvok having children of his own + neelix wanting children after#elogium). babies would be probs too small to remember but imagine one of them asking several years later where that funny guy went haha#star trek voyager#kathryn janeway#threshold au <3
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The way you draw hands, they are so expressive. So tender looking in their intent. I'm just in awe. I'm not a religious person at all but the first word to comes to mind when seeing the hands you draw is that they are somehow holy.
Aw geez anon, you're saying the sweetest things. Thank you!
#I know I keep repeating the same thing but I just really admire hands a lot and try to do them justice#they're so structurally complex#and have such great emotive potential#they're still challenging to get right but it's mostly the nice kind of challenging and not I-want-to-quit-drawing-forever challenging#in Machete's and Vasco's case I do my best to underline the differences in their personalities through hand gestures#I don't know how well that carries over but I think it's fun#in my head they have clearly contrasting body languages#answered#anonymous
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fundamentally disinterested in the recurring discourse about kevin's drinking that aims to a) make it his Specific Problem To Focus On And Overcome when it is a crutch and coping mechanism to get him through a Much Bigger Problem (emotional fallout he can't square with by himself, culture shock, trauma, loss of his extremely wildly co-dependent relationship w riko, losing the structure of the nest, mourning a future he was meant to have, processing a grave injustice, anger and fear and desperate grief, all of which is his Actual Specific Fox Problem) while he builds himself back up, and b) thinks that even if it is a problem (more on that later), it's the foxes' problem to deal with.
like. it's just not.
yeah, he doesn't drink until he meets them. they gave him that habit, and in traditional terms, they're (the monsters specifically) a 'bad influence'. but these are the foxes. this is kevin day, son of exy, whose meteor is crashing spectacularly through no fault of his own. there are no traditional terms to be found here. the framework for it literally doesn't exist. neil comes into the foxes with more conventional expectations—appalled at the athletes' substance use, his horror at matt's trip to columbia, his steadfast and early repeated stance that none of the foxes should let andrew treat them the way he does, and certainly not nicky—and tends to engage with them less as the series goes on and he folds himself into the foxes. the thing about the foxes is that they've all been in pits deeper than they are tall. and some of them got a helping hand on the way—erik, andrew's extreme intervention methods, stephanie walker—and wymack was always waiting for them on the other side, ready to throw down a rope, but all the foxes dragged themselves out of their own holes. often not alone, often not without assistance, but at the end of the day, they have to do it.
there's that line neil has about aaron in that scene that got deleted when the timeline shifted around, when he thinks about how aaron got this far in life on his own, surviving on willpower and sheer desperation. that applies to aaron in a way that's a little more acute than some of the rest of them—boy who doesn't let the foxes in bc of andrew, boy who doesn't let nicky in bc he doesn't know how, boy made of flinching and seeking an escape and grieving the one who hurt him—but is broadly true for the foxes en masse.
this isn't to say the foxes can't help each other, but it's not their job. it just isn't. they'll keep kevin alive, keep him safe, keep him flanked and contained within their ranks. they'll fight tooth and nail in this battle with him, fight to get him to that championship game, fight to get that trophy in his hands. but that's all they've agreed to. that's all they're responsible for, in this covenant they've made with him. he says they can make this happen, and they're going to get him to that final game, but it's up to him what state he's in when he gets there.
like. they're foxes. they've been triaging their whole lives. they hate each other and they hate everyone else more. they're the kids with their backs up against the wall. half of them are addicts. i don't think kevin is comparable, personally; he's getting through a horrific situation with a coping mechanism. that's not the same thing as battling yourself to stop using. but that's not really the point of this. what i'm getting at here is that to the foxes, it's easy math: kevin who can lean on vodka and andrew and wymack and the foxes to stay upright when he's not ready to stand on his own two feet is still a kevin who is standing. a kevin with one less piece of scaffolding to lean on is a kevin who falls over, a kevin at risk of complete collapse, a kevin one phone call away from running back to the master, a kevin one crucial loss away from not ever making it back to himself at all. they're triaging. this is low on the totem pole of things they have the room to care about. they very much have bigger problems, both individually and even just kevin-related. if alcohol makes seeing the boy he knew best in the world and moved in tandem with his whole life and who destroyed their entire legacy and his entire life in one move — if alcohol makes facing that boy easier to stomach, then, fuck, why would they take that away? they're foxes. they've all got their demons. this is what kevin needs this year and a half to let him face his, that's all. they can understand that. it doesn't have to be pretty, as long as it keeps him in the fight. that's the priority.
i think there's absolutely space to explore this in fic and art and fandom in a way that maybe does explore it as a Problem, both that it's an active problem for kevin & that it's something to explore other foxes helping him with (there's a t&n fic that i've been gnawing at the bit to read for months that seems poised to explore this premise, and that's super up my alley)! i just think we're in different territory when we're talking about the series—and its characters and dynamics—in a conversational rather than transformational way, and end up talking about this like the foxes are responsible for kevin's choices. i love kevin day. i read these back at the start of 2015 & he's so dear to me that loving him was the blueprint for how i feel abt kageyama. but it's been pretty weird to see how the conversation has been translating Loving Kevin Day into... thinking the foxes are doing wrong by him with respect to this in actual canon. like that's just not how it operates there
#kevin day#aftg#aftg is a sports anime story that's mostly about survival. it's no surprise they're all aiming to Get Through This Year‚ first and foremost#personally i don't think kevin is an alcoholic. that's a specific term that means something that i don't think means kevin.#i understand why people apply it to him with the way it's used colloquially a lot but like. that doesn't make it true#but i'm also not particularly interested in hashing that out and litigating it#i've seen people with more specific and relevant Personal experience than me try that and it fell on deaf ears#so i don't particularly care to waste my breath there. that's not the main point of this anyway#i am saying that i don't think kevin's drinking is the Capital P Problem but mostly i'm saying even if it is. that's not the foxes' issue#like in the most basic truth sense. it just isn't. you can wish they did or think friends should or whatever but like.#you have to remember who they are. they're not the trojans. they're not the gangsey. they're foxes.#they wanted to mutiny against kevin within twelve hours of him opening his mouth but they still voted to keep him. ykwim.#they're not here to hold his hand but they will keep him intact.#like. they're gonna get him to the championship game. he promises them that and they promise in turn to show up and get there.#but they're only in charge of making it there. it's entirely up to him what state he's in when he gets there.#this isn't to say that they wouldn't care; it's that the foxes have been triaging their entire fucking lives.#kevin with alcohol in his hand is a kevin who can stand up on the court and face riko instead of giving up. it's a shield.#absolutely there's an argument that it's not healthy but like. Cs get degrees. if this gets him through‚ then it gets him through.#alcohol tw#alcoholism ment //#substance abuse ment //
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I think regardless of the situation red would be really stressed out by being given gifts if he's expected to open and react to them in front of others. He has the flat affect of all time and the added stress of knowing people want him to react a certain way just makes it worse.
Many ppl without flat affect already struggle to seem excited enough about things they're given but for someone like red who doesn't really outwardly react to most things it's truly dreadful. He can't stand the entire interaction of being expected to react a certain way knowing people will and often do see him as rude when he doesn't.
The only people he doesn't feel horrifically stressed about this around are like. His mom and green and leaf. Because they are familiar enough with him and know what kind of things he likes and don't make him feel so pressured to behave a certain way.
I think there would be some other ppl who sort of understand and try not to make him feel pressed about these things but red is a bit reclusive by nature so even then he can only feel totally comfortable around a few people. He sees and appreciates the effort unfortunately this is just his cross to bear.
#the johtrio assumedly come to understand red and try to be supportive but i think the first time one of them gave him something#and he had 0 reaction they started panicking a bit like “sorry do you not like it? i can get you smth else ? sorry :(”#and now red is permanervous about it especially since theyre a few years younger than kantrio ik id feel bad#if ppl younger than me who idolized me and wanted to show their appreciation to me ended up dissapointed and sad over my reaction#hell still accept things it just makes him uncomfortable and he awkwardly says/signs Thank You while looking/feeling like this 😐😥#whenever red is super uncomfortable in situations like this he either inwardly wishes green was here to make jt less awkward#or green Is there to help make it less awkward#red is capable of socializing without green or leaf around. it makes him uncomfortable but as an adult he has the Ability#he just lowkey doesnt want to. hes happy with his 2 friends and the handful of younger trainers hes mostly grown used to having around#its 4am if i made any typos or worded smyh wrong...thats for morning ethan yo fjx#pokemon headcanons#trainer red#green oak#blue oak#leaf mentioned
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Hey y'all, weird question time again! Is there anyway to word "I appreciate how unintimidating and unthreatening you are being" as a compliment that does not sound at all like an insult? One of my doctors is the absolute best at it, and I genuinely think it must be a skill he's deliberately cultivated, but I cannot figure out how to word it in a way that doesn't sound slightly insulting. Like, it's a good thing! A very good thing, especially in a doctor! But I cannot figure out how to word it in a way that conveys that
#the person behind the yarn#tj asks weird questions#I have PTSD. It's mostly under control for me and not usually an issue anymore#but I do have a few PTSD triggers I have been unable to get rid of that do occasionally cause problems at doctors visits#primarily that people touching my throat makes me very very tense#I have gotten better! I no longer automatically forcefully remove the hand from touching me#and I can make myself sit still and let doctors check my neck when needed#but I haaaate it and am very very tense the whole time#except with this doc. he is so unthreatening that the very first time I saw him he was able to check my neck without me tensing at all#and I didn't even register it as weird until I'd left his office#(most of the time they are checking for thyroid issues I think? or lymph nodes)#anyway I too have put effort into being able to be nonthreatening and unintimidating#because I used to work with toddlers and I didn't want them to ever hesitate to come to me for help#but all that seems very weird to say to a dude that I have thus far been unable to even ask where he buys his flannel shirts#because dang he has cool flannel shirts. the color combos are unlikely and I would like to buy them as well#but every time I try to word that question I am also like...yeah no that's a weird way to say it I will just not ask#it does not help that the stress of doctor visits tends to mean my word issues flare up lol
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Fragonard indulgences
Belle d'Amour (a herbal, original vanilla scent. prominent notes seem to be angelica (star of the enchanting packaging), amber and vanilla)
Un Momént Vole hand soap and decorative glass dish (a soap with an airy, delicate scent, celebrated with a glass dish featuring a beautifully modern rococo still life)
Set of four Fleurs du Perfumeur guest towels (pure cotton towels with illustrations of iris, mimosa, orange blossoms and figs)
Belle de Paris Hand Cream (iris, clementine and violets - sophisticated powders in a decadent, beautifully packaged hand cream)
#un moment volé was literally the first perfume I ever got#they discontinued it but it was back over christmas#I still have a good deal left (I didn't wear fragrance regularly then and grew out of the scent) so I didn't get into it#although I now see the profile was slightly different and I might've enjoyed it? ANYHOW#I LOVE the glass dish. so I'm willing to spend 24€ on that & enjoy the soap as a nostalgic treat#I bought the hand towels for my parents last christmas and I think they're SO pretty#so I'm secretly buying them for myself. dreaming of the future...#the hand cream is mostly because I want to try the scent without getting a huge bottle. it sounds REALLY up my alley (iris. powder)#ALSO oh my gOD they are so pretty???! I loveeeeee the hand creams from the belle line. how cute!#belle d'amour is a blind buy. it just sounds really cute. green vanilla. also it has been pointed out how similar it is to a guerlain scent#I've been sighing over for ages. no way to try either though so it's like. I guess I'll just jump the gun? and hope for the best?!
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IM FREEEEEE
#(FROM PROJECTS)#personal#the engineering chronicles#WILL HOPEFULLY NEVER NEED TO SLEEP THREE NIGHTS ON THE FLOOR OF THE ENGINEERING BUILDING AGAIN!!!#one class the final project was to build a karaoke machine which my partner and i had planned on making look like actual speakers and#microphone but we couldn’t find the stuff in time and her mom made a joke abt singing into hairbrushes and we decided to take that and#run lol we used a pink sparkly makeup box to store our circuit and cut out holes for the speakers and decorated it with makeup and put the#hairbrush mics inside and it was very fun actually and our class voted us as one of the groups to go to project day which was pretty cool!!#project day did get canceled bc of. asnow day which was unfortunate especially considering we stayed up until 4am the night before#preparing our documents for it and trying to perfect the karaoke machine when we could have been putting that time toward project number#2 😐 but whatever we still get our extra credit and i can say i qualified for it so im happy enough#then project 2 was for another class but we’re lab partners in both (+ another guy for this project) and it was digital monster pet so we#made a dragon i was mostly on design so i hand CADed the whole thing which was living hell if i never want to lay eyes on solidworks#again but also he came out very cute after MUCH hasle putting him together with all the wires and components bc our wires from the kit are#so bad they’re constantly getting disconnected from each other which we didn’t know would happen bc the labs we usually do we don’t have to#connect them together like that since you’re not routing them thru bodies etc and they’ve worked great until now but anywya.#i did the lcd faces and the light sensor and a couple other things + a lot of the code was copy and paste from past labs and fitting it to#suit the project but for the most part it was a shit ton of hardware on my end while she and the other guy managed the rest of the code#which i really wish i could have been more involved with but oh well. as it is though he’s my baby i birthed him <3 we’re planning on#meeting up over weekends next semester to change some stuff and add other extra features that we missed we got a decent grade 85% but we#all agreed we don’t want to leave him like this we want to add the extra features we had come up with and also i think we should switch out#our motors for servos bc the motors we were required to use#instead suck they’re not strong at all compared to what a servo can do for you. also we want to make it so you can not only pet him which w#already have with light sensors but also wash him with a Hall effect sensor and magnet so like we’d stick the sensor inside and the magnet#inside a little cad brush or sponge is what im envisioning and i have an expression in mind for what we’d do then. also paint him and#redesign the platform he stands on bc it’s rlly cramped and also make a pcb bc we only have him with the microcontroller and breadboards rn#and i might mess with his face piece a bit too im not sure. oh and speakers!!! those were technically a requirement but we didn’t get them#done on time but i want to make him play music sooooo bad so definitely that. anyway want to be more involved in the software when we do#all this. pretty excited actually :]
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Can’t, too busy flirting ♥ (Patreon)
#My art#SCII#Damned#DAX#ZEX#FRICK I forgot ZEX's bruises lol#I drew them in the sketch even! It's why his left eye is closed rather than his right fjdsaklfdfds#Well DAX will probably have that ankle brace on him still by the time ZEX's face and neck are all healed up anyway *handwaves handwaves*#Anyway lol#I've been wanting to try my hand at the ''heartbeat'' style for a while now! Pretty sure this is my first ever attempt! :0#I guess that one blushy react I made a couple years ago for VLH could count? But that was with vectors so#Was mostly curious as to how long it would take and how tedious it would be with my tablet#Using my crayon brush for the lineart and colours made it more fun :) Very unconcerned with how ''clean'' it would look by the end#Which I think is how this style is meant to be approached - if it was too smooth or too aligned then it wouldn't move!#I think I like it well enough :)#I had another one I was thinking about doing first - even sketched up a while ago now - but this image hit me most recently#New shiny - you know how it is :P#And they're so cute how can I resist <3#Max being shorter than Dexter is So good and then ZEX nad DAX are in there and it's just jdkslafd#Extremely yes very much so agree#They're cute! I love them!#Someday I'll get really good at DAX's parade rest pose because I keep attempting to draw it correctly and haven't yet#But I haven't given up!! I'll get it someday!!!#ZEX is effortlessly adorable so that's easy lol#Even if I didn't get the bruises his blush was still real fun to texture :)
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playing neopets again. finally used my last pet slot to make a faerie ixi, which was one of my dream pets as a kid 💜 she ended up with a big flower theme
look at my deer
#neopets#faerie#anthro#deer#fanart#nostalgia#art#artists on tumblr#doodles#i struggle with anthro be nice 2 me </3#that is mostly just wearables i already had or things that were affordable#most of the really good wearables you have to pay money for and i do not vibe with that. i do not like the way they handle neocash lmao#but i occasionally get free nc from events or games so i have a few items. the hat is NC i believe#i don't have a lot of Ideas about my pets but i like having a handful of little traits for them#still trying to figure her out#anyway i'm in the market for a Neopets Pin Collector Bag and i'm offering up to 2m pure for one if anyone wants to sell me theirs#normally i avoid expensive wearables but pin collecting and ita bags are LITERALLY My Thing(tm). i Need it
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being super normal about White calling Billy "a dreamer"after the events of Maybe No Go
#truly alarming amount of tags on this post don't click read more fr#the venture bros#pete white#bily quizboy#billy whalen#idk man the way they balance each other is really interesting#the things they agree on and disagree on are almost arbitrary#'you can't put mouthwash in a cookie' 'trust me' vs 'we should spend 10 mil on a motorcycle instead of housing' 'that's such a cool idea'#billy trying to pep white up about the ball#'this was your dream too' like come on dude when have pete's dreams ever worked out#when have yours#'what are we gonna do now billy?' 'we'll cross that bridge when we come to it'#baby the bridge has never been more present#ALSO white calling billy the dreamer when HE'S the one who pushes so hard for things#billy has dreams that might not be realistic but they give him hope and he works around the way the world works to make things happen#like being a self-taught surgeon and believing in a magic ball#pete has dreams IN SPITE of what is realistic and he will mold reality to be what he wants in order to make it happen#like fixing the quizshow and pretty much everything that happened in invisible hand of fate#and they both have disabilities that affect them in vastly different ways and impact their relationship with realistic goals#like billy's hydrocephalus being presented to the audience as mostly a social issue for him and the hand and eye being marks of trauma#rather than like an actual block for him beyond needing to tune the hand up every now and then#vs white's albinism making him physically unable to be in direct sunlight and making him actively fearful of doing certain things and#being certain places#to be clear i know the actual effects of hydrocephalus as well as the hand and eye but this is based on how the show presents it#like billy took these things about himself into account and went ok these are part of my reality and i will work with them#and pete took his reality and went ok i will cover it up with fake tan and wigs or sunscreen and hats and make reality what i want it to be#and that's what makes them a good team!! that's why they science together well#it's also why they argue so much#accepting reality and playing within its constraints vs hating reality and changing it to suit you#these are the hallmarks of scientific progress
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Take some Fydd's I just realized I never posted
#keese draws#oc art#oc#ocs#eternal gales#fydd is such a comfort character to me rn its not even funny I adore this lil lad#hes been helping keep me sane#Ive also been keeping sane by brainstoriming more abt how I wanna make eternal gales someday which is also helping#and lemme say its getting real ambitious folks this bad boy isnt getting made for a While lol#the more Ive been thinking abt eternal gales and how I want it to be formatted the more certain I become that while its not going to be a#game Im probably going to be making it within a game maker engine#like Ill still look into how feasible making it all into a website would be but I think for what I want to make this would work best#which is! very ambitious and is definitely not smth I can manage rn! but I have been wanting to re learn to code anyways so!#its mostly just a matter of like. doing some smaller projects first and getting my shit together#ideally I want to be able to be in a place to get started in about 5 years maybe? idk that feels reasonable to me#but Im fine if it takes longer as long as Ive gotten at least some actual real project started and worked on#Ive been playing around with the idea of maybe trying my hand at making a small game for fun#not right this second but maybe soon? idk depends on a bunch of shit#honestly eternal gales has dragged me through so much whenever I feel hopeless I just have to remember that I Need to make it some day and#imagine ppl asking me questions abt it and analyzing my writing and I go ok so I must persist no matter what I need ppl to read abt them
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