#wall of text to end all walls of text

[indecisive-dizzy]

thinking about Snowdin losing power during a storm and the whole town hunkering down at Grillby's.

Grillby can still cook n such so he's making everyone hot chocolate, and tea that the shopkeeper brought. as well as hot food like the usual burgers n fries. (all free of charge!)

everyone brought blankets and Grillby's moved the tables against the walls to make room for a giant blanket nest so the townsfolk can bundle up together. Grillby's also heating the blankets and when he's not making food or drink he's actually sitting in the middle of the blanket nest.

Papyrus is helping pass things out, and is reassuring everyone that it'll be ok. If anyone needs something from outside Papyrus gets it bc he can't feel temperature so it's safer than the other's going out. sans fell asleep,, somewhere? no one knows where he is exactly just that he's Somewhere and Sleeping (he's behind the bar, Grillby finds him in the morning)

The shopkeeper brought cinnamonbuns(?) and tea like I mentioned, the inn keeper brought extra pillows and blankets. the dogs are offering warmth via cuddles. The librarian brought books and board games. everyone brought a little something!

It's a tad cramped inside but the townsfolk don't really mind. they're having a good time! it's warm, there's warm food and drink, lotta laughs and good conversation! community bonding at it's finest

the whole town falls asleep in one big pile on the blanket nest (minus the skelebros, for different reasons). it probably wasn't intentional but it's what happened anyway. grillby is still in the center surrounded by the k-9 unit, he will wake up Covered in dog hair lol. Papyrus occupies himself w board games, crosswords, etc, and sans remains asleep.

this all kickstarts a new community event/tradition where the whole town gathers at Grillby's together in a similar fashion every other month or so. oh it needs a name,, anyone got any ideas?

[old-desert]

Inktobertale 2024 Day 6: Hyperspeed

How convenient that I just so happened to have a biker gang au lying around, huh.

[burningcheese-merchant]

I notice that you give Shadowspice alot of shit because of how it's based off of shallow fujoshi stereotypes and how they would be miserable with eachother if you regarded there canon personalities (which is lowkey valid), but that makes me surprised you like burningcheese because you do remember that burning spice tore off cheesy's wings, threw her off a cliff, kept her wounded in a prison for sadisms sake and threated to destroy all she ever treasured before the queen turned the tables and have him his rightful beating.

Most burningcheese fanart I have seen depicts burning spice as hulking and towering and smiling down at golden cheese freaking as if that isn't basic straight ship stuff, I'm not going to cry about "abuser x victim" or how your a "proshipper" but a decent chunk of the Fandom portrayal of burningcheese ignores golden cheese's dominance and how powerful she is and I'm invested in how you think golden cheese will get romantic with the dude who tried to take everything from her with sadistic glee, all of that aside have a good day.

Turned out long as fuck lol my bad

Gonna start by saying I appreciate you being polite/civil. Ngl I started reading the first sentence and immediately assumed it was a ShadowSp1ce fan come to start shit or something lol. I'm glad that's not the case. As unhappy as that ship makes me, I'm really not out to get anyone who likes it. You do you, it's not my business. I mean it when I say I'd rather never speak of ShadowSp1ce again if I don't have to. I'm a happier person without it in my thoughts. Again I ask "where is the memory gun from Gravity Falls when you need it" lmao

To address your other concerns. No I did not forget what Burning Spice did to Golden Cheese lol. That's a pretty important scene in the story, I don't really have a say in the matter. But really, what he did is just what villains do. It's horrible, but not out of the ordinary for someone like that. It shouldn't be downplayed or dismissed but I also don't think it needs to be blown as far out of proportion as I've seen so many do. Video game villain. There are far worse ones than Burning Spice, who have done far worse things. Promise.

Maybe it's just my luck, but I've never really seen anyone portray BurningCheese the way you describe. Not on here, at least. I just see Burning Spice simping really hard for the golden goddess and smiling when she steps on him lol. Or them just being genuinely happy together. Plenty of angst, sure. But nothing I would really say is out of character (that I recall off the top of my head). I don't doubt that such shallow, stereotypical portrayals exist, and I lament that they do. I myself don't subscribe to that. Yes, he hurt her, but she doesn't take it (or anything he says or does) lying down. She gets up and fights back. And that's what he loves about her most of all. She fights back. To make her the meek, doe-eyed little church mouse secretary to Spice's domineering CEO or whatever the fuck in service of some puddle-deep hetero-flavored gooner shit à la 50 Shades is boring and flanderization. Burning Spice is tough but so is Golden Cheese. They are equals in every way. Let them kick each other's asses. Spice would never love a person who couldn't stand up to him anyway. Who isn't strong, physically and mentally. Which is what she is and always should be.

But my MAIN canon. The canon I operate on. The one my little fankid critters exist in. THAT romance goes like this:

As for how I ascribe romance to them... Let me start by saying that I ship them in multiple ways, through multiple lenses. I ship BurningCheese where it's a toxic one-sided crush/obsession on Spice's part (and his behavior is condemned ofc), because exploring that kind of darkness within a fictional setting is interesting to me. I ship BurningCheese where Golden Cheese gives in to despair, same as Burning Spice once did, and corrupts, and they become a villain couple (got a big fic in mind for that lol. That will be fun to write eventually). In a similar vein to that is the AU I've been playing around with on here where Spice is basically her pet serial killer and brings her severed heads and other things as tokens of affection (he is absolutely fucking deranged in this AU), and because she herself is... kind of a broken person in this story, she starts responding to these attempts to stroke her ego and win her favor, leading her down a rabbit hole of guilt and shame and denial and unhealthy attachment, where she eventually ends up as insane for him as he is for her (I know it sounds crazy, but... it's fun in a dark and disturbing way lol). I ship BurningCheese in that time travel AU (that I'm still cooking btw! That will be real fic! I'm working on it with a friend of mine!) where Golden meets Spice while he's still the Herald of Change, with all of the trials and tribulations that brings. I ship BurningCheese as a standard forbidden love affair, where she's good and he's bad and neither is willing to change for the other, but are willing to set aside those differences to be together, even if only for a time and away from prying eyes and judgment. I like them all sorts of ways, because I just like them, you know? I like how they click. How they complement and contrast with each other. They're both very alike and very different. They have a lot to give each other and a lot they can do together. And they're soulmates, that's canon, they are canon (at least in some way), whether anyone likes it or not. So I win no matter what lol

Slow burn. Very, very slow. Post-canon, after Dark Enchantress has already been defeated and order restored to the world. There's nothing left for the Beasts to really do anymore, Burning Spice included (they are not resealed in my canon, they all remain free indefinitely). They can't go out and cause chaos without their Ancients coming and curbstomping them immediately. But... Burning Spice likes that Golden Cheese does that, so he manages to forge an agreement: if she indulges him and spars with him a few times a month, he'll stay out of trouble. And she agrees, for everyone else's sake. She certainly doesn't want to be around him any longer than she has to.

They grow a little closer through these fights of theirs, albeit unwillingly on Golden's part. They bicker and banter while they exchange blows, and afterwards while they tend to their own wounds. Do you really have a choice, when you end up stuck with someone in such a way?

Burning Spice is in love with her. Always has been. But his love is selfish, toxic. He's more attached to his idea of her than the real her, because he doesn't truly know her, despite his insistance plus their soul bond. Golden Cheese hates him and considers him a menace to society, and indulges his whims purely to protect and serve the public. So long as he's focused on her, he can't hurt anyone else.

He hits on her all the time. She rebuffs him all the time. He doesn't necessarily mind; as much as he'd love it if she returned his feelings, he's content with her refusal as well. He likes her bite, her wit, her anger. And he has her, at least in some way. Has her attention. Has their battles. That's enough for him

Slow burn redemption arc on top of the romance. Really, Burning Spice's redemption is mostly an accident. Golden Cheese wasn't trying to fix him (at first) and he was never looking to be fixed. They both believed he was damned and he didn't care, and that was that. And it really was, for a while. But eventually, gradually, he started to... mellow out. Enough that he started becoming a little more approachable, in her estimation. Thus they grow closer still, which in turn makes him mellow out more.

He starts opening up a little bit, here and there. Bits and pieces about himself. His past. General personality things. She does the same in turn. She starts to recognize him as more than just a heartless monster. He starts to acknowledge things he'd otherwise leave buried forever. There's some sort of trust and understanding forming.

Spice gains a measure of clarity. Not quite remorse, but... regret? Is it regret? Is he really able to say he regrets anything about his life? Has he gotten that soft? That pathetic?

... He regrets how he treated her. That much comes to be true. And he apologizes to her. It's not much, he's no good at apologies, but he's at least sincere. It's shocking to her. She takes it to heart, despite not really forgiving him (she will not do so for a long time still). It marks a little turning point in their relationship.

She lets him into her life and world a bit more. She relaxes a bit more around him and vice versa. They're not even so strict about their scheduled duels anymore; sometimes he comes by just because he wants to see her, and she obliges. He's still an asshole but less of one. She's still begrudging but less so. It's clear something has begun to change within him. She's not sure what it is, but it's there. And it's... meaningful, at least to her. Because she never thought she'd see it

Don't want to get too deep into it because I want to talk abt it more later. But there's at least one suicide attempt by Spice bc he's gotten really depressed (more than he already was) and Golden stops him, and in doing so realizes that she's come to genuinely care about him as a person and doesn't want him gone, even despite his misdeeds. Another big turning point, especially on her part

They become genuine friends. Bit of a weird friendship, he's still a bad guy, but even so. She's honest about enjoying his company. She talks to him like she does everyone else. And he likes it. He likes that she's so casual now. That they're so used to each other now. It's pleasant

The more he spends time with her and gets to know her, the deeper in love he falls. But no longer is it that corrosive sentiment it once was. With time, it evolves into a healthy affection and respect for her. He's still smitten as always and forever, but in a more normal way lol

The more time she spends with him and gets to know him, the more she comes to see that... He's really not so bad, underneath all of his... issues. He's intelligent. Thoughtful. Creative, even (ironic). He's very handsome. He makes her laugh. He keeps her on her toes. He's not so different from her, in some ways. With all of that, and what he's willingly revealed to her about his life, she believes that... he can be fixed. He can get better. Somewhere within the dark chasm of his soul is man with some worth. There's something worth salvaging inside of him. One little ray of light, flickering in the dark. He can change, if he wants to. She truly believes that now.

So she starts making an effort to help him along. Starts pushing for him to interact with others. Do good deeds. Participate in society, in life. He tries to push back but ultimately gives in, if only to appease her. She's the only person he tolerates still, everyone else can keel over and die for all he cares. Just because he's not actively hurting anyone doesn't mean he cares about them.

But... it works, little by little. This war of attrition she wages. Of course she can't force him to change; he has to want that for himself. But she can at least show him the merit in doing so. And she does. Slowly, begrudgingly, he starts to actually talk to people. Hang around them. Do things of his own accord, not just to make her happy. He does not say so, but he's learning to enjoy and appreciate life again

That's when she falls for him. It was already in motion for a while, but it's watching him improve and become more of the man she thinks exists deep down inside that does her in for good. Of course she's embarrassed. She grapples with the moral implications. But in the end, she can't help herself. He's charmed her. He won.

They're happy together. They marry. He is gladly accepted by the GCK as their king, for they have embraced him by then. They have those two kiddos. He's forged new, genuine friendships with the other Ancients plus a few other people, and rebuilt the old ones he had with the other Beasts. He's... not a hero, no. He never will be again. But he's abandoned his evil ways. He's made peace with himself. He's been reintegrated into society. He's happy. They're happy.

No one approves of them besides Pure Vanilla. Throughout all of this, Spice has been regarded with fear, hatred and suspicion. (He doesn't really care much, to hell with what others think of him.) Though he's improved and some have relaxed around him, for many it's not enough, her friends included. They worry for her safety, for her sanity. She vouches for him, his character and their relationship. Only PV is on her side from the start; he's overjoyed for her, for him, for them. He's happy he's changed, as PV always hoped all the Beasts would. He wishes them well. He hopes for a similar happy future for himself and Shadow Milk. Everyone else comes around eventually, some sooner than others. (Smoked Cheese excluded. They will never be cool)

It's important to note that I came up with this for them because I enjoy exploring morality and redemption and forgiveness, and what that might look like for certain characters. Even if he's become a better man, does Burning Spice really deserve the happy ending he got? Does it undo anything he did? Does a man like that really deserve forgiveness?

The way Burning Spice would answer those questions is... no. No, he doesn't. He's done too much. The blood on his hands will never wash out. Golden Cheese can only forgive him for what he did to her specifically, not for what he did to the world. And he knows he isn't worthy either way. Should he ever die... well, he's certainly not going to Heaven, that's for sure. So he makes peace with it the best he can and just tries to be better. He can't change the past. All he can do is try to make it a decent present. He's not perfect, no. There are some things you'll never get back after living such a cursed life. The Herald of Change is long gone; perhaps he never truly existed in the first place. He can only be Burning Spice, with the weight of all his sins bearing down on his shoulders, and try. Try to do better. For his wife. For his children. For his comrades. For his people. There's nothing else he CAN do. He can never truly fix what he did. He has to live with that forever. But he's still managed to find happiness even with it, and that makes it bearable. And it's all thanks to her, in the end. Her and the kids. They make it all worthwhile.

I'm sorry I wrote a Bible lol. And also probably derailed at least once. I just hope I answered your questions well enough. This is ultimately how Merchant thinks Golden Cheese will get romantic with Burning Spice. The end

[clj-art-blog]

girl i’m in such a drama slump because of clj, i can’t move on 😩😭😭 your blog is everything, thank you for your service and giving us more of them 🙏 and your artstyle is gorgeous! 🥹🫶

I feel you 😭 And for all this I just hug you so tightly as DFQC does XLH

[sausage-rolll]

My take on the promised consort.

I believe that Radahn held the stars in place when Ranni began fearing her fate. She never wanted to become a puppet to the two fingers, and Radahn knowing this attempted to hold off her destiny for as long as possible. Though he likely knew that it would be an inevitability. The only other two living empyreans were cursed afterall. 

There was no way that Miquella or Malenia would be able to take Marika’s place, the two fingers weren’t even the slightest bit interested in either of them. Malenia was already claimed by the God of Rot and Miquella was perpetually in a state of adolescence. Ranni seems to be the only one who was ever actively bothered by her fingers and I believe this is because they had an intense desire for her to be the next god, assuming Miquella and Malenia as lost causes due to their curse.

I think this is when Miquella came to Radahn with a proposition. He will be seeking godhood. Even if the two fingers had no interest in him, even if the world thought him too small and frail to ascend, he was going to find a way, no matter the consequences. He was determined to become the next God and lead the world into an era of abundance and peace. To fix the mistakes of the past.

He only had one simple request.

“Promise me, you’ll be my consort.”

If Miquella were to ascend then Ranni would be free of her duty. She’d be able to live in peace knowing that she’d never have to be controlled by another's will. She wouldn’t have to become a god, she wouldn’t have to succeed queen Marika. And to top it all off, Radahn would get to play the role of his hero Godfrey. Ushering in a new era alongside a new god.

It was perfect.

That was, until the night of the black knives. The night the world was thrown into chaos. The night that the first demigods fell. And the night that he lost his sister.

Radahn likely wouldn’t have known about Ranni’s plot and would have thought her dead alongside the other victims of the night. Ranni was gone, and with her, so too was Radahns need for Miquella’s age.

I believe Radahn, fueled by grief, rage and the mad taint of his greatrune, denounced Miquella and struck out on his own as a warrior of the shattering. He didn’t need peace, he didn’t need Miquella. All he wanted was to fight. All he wanted now was endless war.

Maybe that would be enough to dull the pain of his loss? Not only the loss of his sibling and father, but also the loss of his purpose.

-

Now picture Miquella. Making the final preparations to begin his ascension. Only there’s one problem. His consort has abandoned him at the very last moment. As it turns out, it seems Radahn never really cared for Miquella or his visions for a new age, he was only really in it for his own gain. 

Imagine how devastated Miquella would be. Knowing that yet another one of his plans had fallen apart at the finish line. That the person he trusted to rule alongside him didn’t even hesitate to abandon him when it was no longer convenient for him.

His ascension to godhood would never happen. He would never be able to heal his sister. He would never be able to bring forth an age of compassion. He would never be able to right the wrongs of the past.

He had failed again.

Now imagine how furious this would make his people. How angry his followers and his sister would be to see Miquella rejected at such a pivotal moment. To see him mourning a consortship and an age that would never come to pass.

Is there really any wonder that they chose to march towards Caelid and deliver the promised consort by force?

[cinnabar-circus]

2023 | 99

[extravalgant]

wizbat kinda is like looking in the mirror sometimes huh...

i think this point of dialogue sort of mirrors the kind of person the wizard is -because theyve had to make the same decisions in the past too...

and to that, i bring up mirage

what happens in mirage - the good (being grandmother raven and in extension mellori) versus the good of the spiral (not killing spider and the chaos heart, the one thing holding the spiral together), is a difficult choice that the wizard has to make. one they already make before they even face off against spider

i think they placed an especially heavy emphasis on the wizard's and mellori's connection in mirage on purpose because of this - ambrose mentioning how nice it is to see them together, how mellori misses our adventures and wishes they could travel together, mellori saying they go way back...

to mellori, we betrayed her. and even moreso, we betrayed grandmother raven.

the wizard often has to make difficult decisions, a point that bat makes here as well. i cant imagine what the wizard felt like in this moment - to be on the same sides, but on different ends. two sides of the same coin...

but if we think about it, bat and the wizard were on the same side the whole time. the only thing that was ever stopping them was simply... each other. both of them have pride, and their pride is inherently tied to the spiral as a whole

the wizard and the spiral are intertwined in one another. the fact that theyve been able to protect it for so long (minus a few mishaps) is a point of pride for them. bat's pride is one that concerns himself—his knowledge, his ability to do things. so when medulla continuously reads his mind and steals his knowledge, we know that hurts his pride as a whole.

both of them think that they could handle this on their own, and that they need to. they're stubborn. and i think their first interactions in part one kind of show that

while its clear that the wizard may not like or trust bat, i'm unsure whether or not bat trusts the wizard. maybe he has complex feelings about the whole thing, considering the wizard is the reason he was freed in the first place. but considering what happens at the end of part one... maybe the reason he didnt want to get involved was what he (thought) he had to do...

because look. this is the first instance of the wizard sensing what i can assume is bat's shadow magic, and it lets them pass! it senses the wizard's presence ("senses your presence"!), and it lets them pass... almost like bat knows they both want the same thing but that he needs to do it his own way... (stubborn)

^ okay ngl i sound kinda crazy when i talked here LOL BUT STILL. i think my point still stands. bat and the wizard are more similar than we think, and that makes their connection stronger...

[ganondoodle]

(Original art) Xaror, any pronouns, species (?), age (?)

short summary about them; they act as both an antagonist and an ally since they are only really interested in what they want or whats fun to them, they are immortal and call themselves 'death itself' since they have a special connection to souls (being the only one able to communicate with them) and the ability to seperate souls from their bodies in such a way that nothing can harm the soul afterwards their main goal is to .. bother and disturb the 'celestials'*, which they hate, as much as they can, breaking into their palace, freeing prisoners, destroying research, destroying the place, and most importantly, making as many souls unusable to them as possible-

they dont want to destroy the celestials though, they cant fight them anyway and this game of doing 'good' only with the goal of annoying them is their most treasured activity, so Xaror doesnt intend to stop them from killing or hurting anyone, only from harvesting what they are actually after (though Xaror doesnt actually care as little as they think they do about people, and has a soft spot for demons)

most of their appearance is later into the story; Zaphira (the empress) had been in coma and the medical facility she was treated in was destroyed by Shargon (orange eyed demon who acts as her bodyguard for the first part) in an attempt to save her from her estranged relatives taking over her country after they heard of her decline in health, she is believed dead but washes up on the shore of the mountain Xaror resides at years later (it has a reason, too much to write here) and they slowly nurse her back to health, the reason they give for it is that they found their first encounter very fun, thats all (is it?)

(more lore under the cut bc this is already so long .. im trying to keep it short q-q ......... this is stuff i have been working on since i was a kid so uh, some things might be cheesy but i cant change them anymore ..)

just to get some basics out of the way; theres three worlds, the celestials palace, human world and demon world, each are their own planet connected via different gateways

*celestials (possibly not final name, loosely based on angels) are the last remaining "survivors" of their planets demise, when their world died the most powerful among them cannibalized the weaker to sustain themselves until there were only less than 10 left, who each turned into different beings from it and dont resemble their own people much anymore, they built a palace from what was left on their world that protects them from space as its atmosphere collapsed shortly after- however they still needed something to live off; they discover the human world and are delighted to find rather short lived people with powerful souls, the best kind of sustenance for them (now), they aim to herd them like cattle, but a problem arose when it turned out another world has long been in contact with the human world; demons

demons are semi immortal creatures that act as protectors for their world, protection they extended, more or less secretely, to the human world ensuring them a long and secure life- the celestials need them to die at their whim though (demons are few in numbers, hard to kill and rarely have offspring, not an ideal target); as they worked out a plan on how to get rid of demons one of the celestials, Xanthriel (time) grew somewhat fond of people as they spent alot of time in the human world to observe and research them; in the end turning on their own completely, but losing the fight against Uriel (knowledge)

Xanthriel was supposed to be executed for their betrayal, but it doesnt work, instead they are splintered into many parts after a lot of struggle, most body, memory and most strength is one part (ending up as motionless forever bleeding corpse kept locked up in the palace), the rest is some time later gathered together and reforms as a seperate, weak mockery of them, they embody Xanthriels emotion- Xaror, without memory, strangely cut to pieces (hence all the missing limbs and broken halo) but driven by an unstoppable desire to disturb the celestials (they live seperate long enough to each become their own person, at some point Xaror discovers Xanthriels body after all and they merge back together, though as they are now two, Xanthriel only takes over once directly after merging, stays silent for a long time and lets Xaror be themselves, only later revealing that they are there at all .. hiding perhaps- i rarely have specific ideas for voices, but Xanthriels is like, like coarse rocks being violently rubbed against each other, less voice more noise)

(also, the celestials use Xanthriels blood from the day of their execution to create a plague that nearly wipes out all demons, only the youngest of them survived, effectively robbing them of everything, culture, history, knowledge etc- as demons rarely have children, like a complete restart of their society, they disappeared from the human world, and over time being largely forgotten as actually existing- the celestials wanted them all gone however, so they kept kidnapping them to try and find somethign that would work similarly against the young ones too (and then in general, bc the only usable blood of Xanthriel was from the day of their fall, and that has long since been used up) one of the young ones was Shargon, he was the only one still alive from his group

(also, the celestials use Xanthriels blood from the day of their execution to create a plague that nearly wipes out all demons, only the youngest of them survived, effectively robbing them of everything, culture, history, knowledge etc- as demons rarely have children, like a complete restart of their society, they disappeared from the human world, and over time being largely forgotten as actually existing- the celestials wanted them all gone however, so they kept kidnapping them to try and find somethign that would work similarly against the young ones too (and then in general, bc the only usable blood of Xanthriel was from the day of their fall, and that has long since been used up) one of the young ones was Shargon, he was the only one still alive from his group (he wasnt the strongest or special, he was jsut the last in the row and always got the lowest dosage) when Xaror found them in yet another break in into the palace and got him back to the demon world .. where he was promptly blamed for the others that were taken and treated like a pretender/fake/spy bc what he got put through changed his eye color (something that demons cannot change in any form) to one that does not exist among 'real' demons (orange ... notice the inner color of Xarors broken halo? :) ), some even suggesting killing him, but none of them were brave enough to do it (they were all kids still) .. except Eadrya (the big blue-ish one, largely regarded as the strongest demon alive) but Shargon managed to escape, and since then lived largely in isolation- this is part of why he is so hated, and why he starts to spend so much time in the human world after rediscovering the pathway there)

[flecks-of-stardust]

[ID in alt text]

hi sorry still obsessed with this gif i got. it's so funny to me. my baby's little feets sticking out. the pearl in their hands. the slime mold 'walking.' the neuron glow receding. earlier i laughed so hard it hurt and it's still just as funny now watching this help

[legionofpotatoes]

star wars outlaws

[solariex]

yeahh uh who wants to know how my break from the red blog is ?? basically this

alsoo bonus because i thought it was funny LMAOO

(also also if both look like red avm its cause im a red fictive (but i also go by marz) who ironically runs the blog woww plural system stuff i bet i havent said that 50 times by nowwww—💥💥💥)

[steelycunt]

crushing! the ao3 title you started reading doesn’t punctuate speech correctly

[rad-roche]

I just wanted to tell you that the Nick Valentine Cat’s Paw magazine cover art is soooo STUNNING!!!

You should work for Bethesda lol

thank you very much!! it's been months and i still can't believe it. i posted so hard that the death shroud picture i painted is gonna be printed onto canvas after it wraps up and is gonna hang on nick's va's wall, which is SURREAL. truly, never stop posting.

god, doing stuff for bethesda, that'd be really crazy. ideal pie in the sky dream would be getting to do a nick comic for them officially. that's unlikely to happen, so alas, i'll just need to do it on my own time ;3c

[gunstellations]

"お前は失ってばかりじゃねえ"

"you haven't only received loss"

[technicalknockout]

Do you care her 💔

im going to be completely honest,, i am so torn on what to make of mko

[starry-sophrosyne]

Started stressing out abt this idea when I read through crashing's and eldette's reblog of my reblog of pen's post (GO READ IT IF YOU HAVEN'T BTW /srs HERES THE LINK.) so I'm gonna make this post for my own sake; and yes, even though it was so long ago, it's never left my mind.

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I'm also gonna put this under a cut, despite my original plan not to, bc I've seen everyone sharing the same ideas about this whole "we might get found out" notion. However, this still is a conception abt/for myself that I sincerely want people to see and understand/to talk abt, even it's not directly related to the "rpf community exposure" itself, so yeah. While this post is definitely unnecessarily long, esp considering how long it's been since the incident that prompted me to write this, I still think it's worth posting; Especially considering the fact that I don't think the "rpf-community-exposure-situation" will get better from here. Either way, thank you guys for understanding and reading. /srs /gen

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I've been pretty scared to reveal my really negative side within this community just bc of how I try to come off as/get perceived - i.e. the reason I use emoticons - so I haven't ever really fully crashed out in a post like I did previously. Even seeing Eldette's and Crashing's reblogs, they definitely put it a lot nicer than I did, which is fair and also credit to how probably they are irl; It's just that I think I'm very different regarding which parts of myself I expose to others, and you guys in particular, especially regarding my anger. I'm not going to edit that post because I think it's the blunt truth in the most unapologetic way possible, which is truthfully the way I am, but I hope that you guys understand that my negativity in those kinds of posts is not the same personality i have when I go about posting my regular things about the guys n stuff :_)

For that matter, I hope y'all don't see me differently or have a warped/changed view on personality/character. What I mean by this is that I'm hoping you all still like me despite seeing the bad parts of me. However, it's also something that's unavoidable, for people to not like you once they get to know the more uglier sides of you; So I guess what I want you guys to do more than genuinely like me is, that regardless of what y'all think now, you guys are all honest with me and yourself. If you don't wanna see "those" posts of mine bc they're a little extreme for you, but you wanna continue interacting with my other posts, that's fine, please do! I don't plan to post those seriously negative posts frequently at all. However, if you really find yourself really uncomfortable by those posts, esp knowing that I might slip up into that sort of personality in the future, please feel free to block me. I've blocked some pc crit blogs that I really wanted to see certain posts of theirs, but I couldn't stand seeing other posts they made, so I made a decision that was better for the both of us in the end, because I knew it wouldn't be worth it to continue interacting with them if that was how I truly felt. Either way, I won't take it personally if you do the same at all, because the truth is, if you don't like me, you just don't. Nothing I'm gonna do to try and change that, because more often than not, it's something that can't be helped. So uhh.. yeah- :,)

TLDR: If me crashing out in posts like this makes you uncomfortable, feel free to stop interacting; I won't be like that often but I do plan to let my true personality show a little more, hope you all still accept me despite what may be a very unnecessary fear of mine :)

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This is a side tangent that was written after the initial post was drafted, it's more relevant to clearing up my identity and the differences between me, my personas and my self-inserts in aus. It's too complicated to be TL:DR'ed, however, so read at your own will; it's not as important for ppl to fully understand either as the previous point, but extremely important to me and my definitions. /gen /srs.

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I've decided to label this alternate emotional state of mine (serious & comes out when talking about stuff regarding the pc rpf community, mainly as a whole/regarding the incidents that have and will continue to happen) as Rosyne, but not in relation to the april fools joke I did as "Rosyne". The personality of that "Rosyne" while blogging is more or less the personality of "Rosyne" as a character, rather than myself or my persona that's changed in regards to my self insert. I know that's all super confusing so let's just clarify:

Starry and Rosyne, by themselves, are just me; both part of my identity. Rosyne is my personality when I’m addressing serious stuff. Starry is my personality when I’m posting about anything else, aka my neutral state, and is (therefore) the name I go by on this blog. Starry and Rosyne, as self inserts, are representations of myself within fics/aus. They might have jobs/roles that are entirely inaccurate regarding my actual jobs/roles (or personal interests) irl, but they only have these in order to fit the narrative. Starry and Rosyne, as self inserts, are also two entirely different individuals, as it makes more sense than one person with two different identities. Either way though, they are supposed* to be genuine representations of myself, through and through. Starry and Rosyne, as general personas, however, are the designs of my identities; They still represent me, only giving me the ability to alter my appearance in a way I can't irl. However and more importantly, they also connect my self-inserts in aus to my identity, as they are the base design/reference for the self-inserts' appearances (which change depending on the au). I do have my general persona designs for both Rosyne and Starry, along with several self-inserts designs for diff fic aus, I just haven't posted them yet.

*This is where I've found this issue of some sorts. You see, I feel as if I've started to turn Starry and Rosyne into actual characters rather than my self-inserts within my writings about aus/fics. Especially Rosyne, although to a reasonable fault, as it's hard to characterize the part of you that only talks abt the actual pc rpf community issues. Either way, the writer side of me has become so obsessed with making them narratively-fleshed out that they don't really feel like direct representations of myself anymore; They feel more like ocs whose experiences & preferences are heavily influenced by the ones I have irl, and whose names are related to me, but they're unrealistic to what a direct 1-1 self insert/representation of myself would be.

I still plan to write about them, especially in regards to this post, but not only are "the-things-they've-experienced" not accurate to the things I've actually experienced irl, but they are also a bit more dramatized in general just for the sake of narrative/creative writing. Not to say that"the-things-they've-experienced" aren't influenced by my own personal experiences, of course. After all, aren't all of our ocs reflections of ourselves/our irl journeys/stories? Just expect me to continue anxiety tagging "dont-take-this-too-seriously!-(´ ᗣ ` )՞" in all my upcoming posts/drabbles about my TTOS "personas"-