#waiting in line for the swing
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#2000beanies#climbing the rocks#hiding in the little alcoves#waiting in line for the swing#2000s nostalgia#playground#nostalgiacore#outdoors#2000s#childhood#y2k#2000s kid
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the things rizz does to a man's sense of humor
#howdy has heard that joke five times already#theres no hope for him#my new favorite Thought#is barnaby & howdy doing their thing yk flirting at the counter#while a line steadily forms behind barnaby#the entire town is In The Store waiting & listening to barnabys terrible jokes for an hour straight#while howdy just laughs along and swings his legs like the lovestruck fool he is#one day barnaby comes up to the store and theres a 'no dogs allowed' sign#made by sally & put up via (almost) unanimous vote held by the neighborhood#barnaby was not included in the vote. howdy was the single nay. everyone else enthusiastically voted yay#LaughingStock#scribble salad#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#welcome home fanart
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I think we need to have a serious re-evaluation of what "leftist" means bc there ain't no fuckin way authcoms are on the same left as me lmao
#atlas entry#from what I understand broadly speaking “the left” does not exist. at least not in the the way “the right” does#“the left” is just a political alliance of convenience between people with sometimes seriously varying views#who only banded together bc of their common cause against the right#bc you can draw a pretty straight line between neo-liberal establishment Republicans and far-right groypers#but the difference between anarcho-communists (good) and authoritarian communists (stupid) is so vast that the two may would be opposed on#pretty much every issue except the “communist” part. and even on that front there's plenty to disagree on#in fact. and this is me swinging wildly at a hornet's nest. I would say but for the communism authoritarian communists should really be#considered right-wing (because of the authoritarianism). the fact that they're communist doesn't make them any less fascistic#I think one of the big issues is that “communist” has become a “big tent” that people use as short-hand for a number of other positions#so many people stopped identifying as feminists when they started identifying as communists bc they think communism includes feminism#(it doesn't)#or they stopped identifying as anti-racist bc they think communism includes anti-racism (it doesn't)#so when you talk about fascist communists it creates a cognitive dissonance where people are like#“But wait fascism is all the bad things and communism is all the good things so how does that work”#and like no. communism is just an economic theory. that's it. it doesn't necessitate anything else#Anyway this wasn't meant to be about why authcoms are stupid but they are so I don't feel bad for saying so lol
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Im gonna drop this post and run bec i hate making super personal posts but also just in case: my brain is doing its best to convince me i am the worst and most annoying person alive right now so if im not particularly social for a bit, thats why. Talking to people helps so I'll try not to disappear but just in case i dont have the energy for it i didn't want to leave people hanging ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#father rambles#hey turns out getting horrible depression mood swings that line up with pms is not normal!#cause i didn't know that till about a month ago!#still sucks but now i know i can wait it out lmao
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i don't think i can watch anymore maqbool tonight but i reached this scene and god. tabu the woman that you are
#THE SILENCE THE FLICKERING LIGHTS its like. on par w the creaking of the swing at the end of omkara for me#i know bhardwaj did maqbool first of his shakespeare trilogy but ahkjdhsjkd. othello and hamlet im not that familiar with but#immensely enjoyed his portrayals of. MACBETH i love so very much and so leaving this one til last is just so ashdjsfkld#like already adding the infidelity aspect . i feel like im clawing at the walls and ive only Just reached the movies line of proper insanit#can't wait to see it all come crashing down ofc but god . seeing the murder onscreen in the moment is kinda lifechanging tbh#maqbool#tabu#faera's
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yeaaaaah so i think i have pmdd
#it would honestly explain a lot#i was thinking bipolar for a while bc of how sudden and extreme the mood swings are and bc it's in the family#but then i realized that they seem to coincide with my cycle. and with how bad my periods already are i think that tracks.#i'm not positive it's always in line with my period and i'll have to start paying closer attention to when the depression hits but#i'm like 80% sure#would certainly explain a lot of things#now would be a good time to be able to see the gyno i've been waiting to see for over a fucking YEAR#ugh#ky posts text
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I am sorry. I have so much work, and I am very pregnant so I just don't have time to respond to stuff on here as much (or draw, really.) Hoping I can get into a schedule soon which allows me to paint and chat more :(
#i have so little free time#i worked 12 hours today#im just tired#technically i could have been painting the last 2 hours of relaxation#but tbh i am falling asleep#i think it will calm down soon tho#ill do work work in the morning do a class then hopefully have enough left in me for cooking chores and painting/chatting#whew#idk how im going to do this with a kid#trying.... not to think about that actually#wait. no.#frustrating thing: there's no preschool around here for us#preschool in our area is only available if your family is extremely impoverished#there are for-profit daycares and they cost about $2000-$4000 a month#girl i cannot swing that lmao#sigh#i hate being in the US#everybody wants you to have kids but no one wants to do anything with them#like be fr rn no one has the fucking money for $2500/month childcare#im glad people way under the poverty line have good school opportunities but also.. why#the school mentioned many times that they can barely afford to stay open#man#so many people call them and are willing to pay#i understand why they must prioritize people that cant or theyd get pushed out#but theres obviously 1) not enough funding for that school 2) a real threat to lower income families to be able to get in if higher income#families decide to elbow them out and 3) not enough schools here#they are building another preschool which will be available to families who work at certain local businesses#but lmao.... get this... there are only 20 spots available for their preschool. 20. girl what. and it costs $2k/month.#my mom called me the other day after i texted about all this and said she could watch our kid. for $25/hour#feeling a bit cornered here. it's going to be a long 5 or 6 years until kindergarten
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Someone: What's your favorite (insert thing here)? Me: Oh, well it depends! I have multiple categories for (insert thing here)! I just like a lot of stuff haha! Me: Man I'm thirsty, I should get something to drink Brain: Coffee. No, lavender milk tea. Actually I want apple soda. Uh no, coconut soda. Ew no, water. No no, sparkling water. Uhhh can I just get milk? Beer. Ew no, wine. White wine. No red wine. Can we not do wine again??? Juice. Me: ...... -SWEATS NERVOUSLY-
Me: I'm hungry, lemme grab something to eat! Brain: I want rice and beans. No I want soup, we got so much soup. Ew but burgers though. Okay but how about sushi? No, I really want pasta. Beef stew please! Chili just straight up chili man. Okay no, ramen. SPICY RAMEN. No please savory ramen. SEAFOOD RAMEN. Still spicy. I don't want spicy. I want spicy. Actually I want sweet-- Me: -SWEATS NERVOUSLY-
Me, after 20 minutes straight of disassociating, blinking into existence as I realize how much time flew by without my realization: ... what was I doing? -squints at notebook- ... To Do list, got it.
Each and every time, me @ me: I'm so silly and indecisive haha! I'm so quirky and forgetful!
... All of this... makes so much more sense now... oh my god
#did osdd#Thank you Snow again for practically smacking me in the face with these realizations (gently)#These are just a few examples but my god... everything is... lining up... maybe not perfectly or 100% but... enough for me to go “WAIT”#More than enough for me to go “WAIT” honestly LMAO but damn... yeah... my “mood swings” make... a lot of sense... and my inner monologues..#thought processes... decision making... conflicting interests... needs... wants... holy shit...
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I have a big fat crush 🤩
#i got in his truck and he said you wanna play a song#he went to a game store and bought his friend a toy#we went to a playground and he said he was ganna wait in line to be the next on the swing#just#a sweet baby boy
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the mroe i think about it the less i like seveneves...like besides the lack of internal character consistency, besides the constant stopping dead in its tracks to plagiarize some physics major’s test notes, besides the frankly annoying way stephenson writes (if he doesnt stop dead in his tracks to thoroughly explain a new plot element to you, its because he thinks hes oh so very clever and you will also think he is oh so very clever when he finally REVEALS it) the cincher is the fact that despite him saying outright that dinah wasnt a natural leader (and constantly showing that), by the time we get to her descendants, anyone with dinah’s dna IS a natural leader. and the main character in that part of the book who has her dna? is a man (of course). theres also the fact that the povs of the characters never felt distinguished from each other, and all the characters with personality traits never got their own pov chapters. worst of all i think is the racial baggage involved in the story: stephenson claims that the world of the spacers is devoid of racism, despite characters constantly pointing out how certain races are just Innately Like That (and these are “races” that are descended from actual women of distinct ethnicities, so you get the race descended from a chinese woman who are all just naturally smart, the race descended from a west asian woman who are all naturally subservient (and this race is also characteristically genderless! which does not stop characters from exclusively using he or she pronouns)) and any pov characters from this time frame of the book are constantly calling mixed-race people “hybrids”. he even did the Exotic Alien Babe trope. none of the interesting questions are answered, but every other question is. oh, and he added another ethnostate descended from people who were left on the apocalyptic earth. because why not.
#.din#.txt#seveneves#i hated this book. so much.#like 90% of my time spent reading it i was also daydreaming about being neal's sadist editor.#OH. ALSO HE HAD SOME LESBIAN RELATIONSHIPS IN PART ONE OF THE BOOK (written very very badly. like woman who ~experimented~ in college badly)#AND THEN THE RACES DESCENDED FROM THE WOMEN WHO WERE IN THIS LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP. AFTER THE TIMESKIP. ALL WE SEE ARE M/F COUPLES#wow the whole human race has deviated into 9 discrete races but luckily they all maintain traditional gender roles#like. the best stephenson can do post timeskip is that the female characters arent all locked in vaults waiting to be breeding stock.#as in theyre allowed to go outside. and he points this out to us. You Are Not A Feminist Neal.#HE LITERALLY HAS A HISTRIONIC BIPOLAR FEMALE CHARACTER WHO HAS A MOOD SWING EVERY SIX LINES OF DIALOGUE. BOOOOOOOOOOO#as in he calls her histrionic fucking repeatedly#he also learned the adjective 'byzantine' when writing seveneves and i want him dead for that too
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#congratulations you're raising a daughter that will learn to never ask you for anything#what the point of a mother shaming a little girl that cant be older than 8 for wanting something to drink when we've been in line#waiting for over 40 minutes?#maam considering the amount of stuff in your cart youve been here a while#and now youre fighting a child in the supermarket#over what? a chapstick and a bottle of sparkling water?#are for real??#im gonna fight this mother#someone tell me not to take a swing at the woman#thoughts thoughts thoughts#the girl was literally hiding from her mom behind me#like??????
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ngl this whole marriage negotiation scene is truly. huh. you know what mean.
#maecenas looks like he belongs in a 2005 emo band and that takes me out like nothing else#who's arranging what for whomst. antony saying he wont marry octavian. my man there are two eligible women available#why was that your first thought for a quip#....wait no im connecting dots. between antony coming in swinging with that line and the other stuff historically#gimme a minute. i need to assemble the pieces#anyway if i was atia and i saw my son looking at my lover like that i would forcibly separate them#however im not so im rooting for octavian to just straight up eat antony on the table. im saying cannibalism. do it!!
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUNI
#i love standing in the accordion bends on the extra long buses and the green seats on f cars and west portal station! right at the mouth of#the tunnel you gorgeous thing coming right out into the western side of the city right where you can almost smell the pacific#oh and my best girl the 48 line trundling up and down and across#the 1 line! my quiet girl she'll swing you round the townhouses on their hills and down into chinatown#the 30 and 45 you workhorses! ladies you are the fucking HEART absolutely bursting with aunties and uncles and grandparents#23 ah love you always made me wait#n line: to the sea TO THE SEA
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you know you've truly become an adult when you get an update on some Adult Matter so infuriating all you want to do is go home early and scream about it. which is exactly what i just did
#.rtf#>spill diet coke on keyboard >break a few keys Including a couple arrow keys >take it in for repairs bc this Will drive you crazy#>takes almost a week for the official quote to get there And it's like 2x as much as anticipated#>frustrating but ok. the delivery time for the new keyboard is only a few days so you can wait another week at most#>swing by for an update. turns out the actual delivery time is Thirty days#>fortunately the repair shop is fine w/ letting you have your laptop back for the time being >you cannot pick it up until tuesday.#>now you'll have wasted two fucking weeks and it will STILL be a pain in the ass to rotate the canvas in firealpaca#(>salt in the wound: turns out you bungled your phone number so this whole time you've only gotten this far bc you thought to check back.)#don't worry though. i'm managing. the guy was really nice and apologetic about it and i got to correct my number#i have just been wrung the fuck out by this shaggy dog story i am experiencing right now. i need to catch up on my sleep#and hey. if there's any silver lining. i've been long overdue on giving my drawing hand a good rest
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people always gotta lot to say about comic artists and about how they need to be "posting more frequently" but you sit them down and tell them to do the same shit and suddenly they're "unprepared", etc. 🙄 yknow this shit doesnt get shat out over night, right? find a hobby in the meantime while you wait, goddamn.
#hows about you write a comic series and script it and do the draft drawing and do the line art and then color every fucking inch in and#GOD FORBID you miss a patch here n there bc you wont hear the end of it from someone who hasnt even touched an art program#or only uses fucking ai. good art- art thats worth waiting for and worth the excitement etc. takes time.#it doesnt get shat out. unless you like eating shat out art. then ig do you.#AND color in the shadows AND add effects AND world build AND AND AND- yeah its not that fuckin easy#be happy you even have to wait A MONTH. most artists would love to actually take their fucking time instead of caving to the demands#of non-artists who dont even know what its like!#just bc an artist you like was able to shit out a bunch of pages a couple times doesnt mean thats something you get to expect from them.#maybe they've been sitting on those pages for a while. maybe they had a sudden burst of energy and motivation. but that shit comes and#goes in swings.#no one is CONSTANTLY on point and ready to draw 24/7. when do i have time to sit down and enjoy some tea or water my plants?#also! i dont owe you shit quite frankly! be grateful for once in ur little shit life. fuck#i now understand why toriyama doesnt like to draw for dbz as much anymore sdjhbfsdhgvfsdg
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your apartment fills with the mouthwatering scents of buckwheat and dashi as you begin to unpack the takeout that's just been delivered. but even with your stomach already growling, you pause, confused.
“kento?” you call to where he’s is leaning against the counter.
“yes, love?”
you count the boxes again, frowning. “why did you order three? is one for your other girlfriend?”
“of course not,” he replies, unfazed by your teasing accusation as he continues to scroll through his tablet. “she doesn't like soba.”
you throw a napkin in his direction when your see the small smirk curling on his lips, shutting off his tablet to look over at you.
you wait, watching him expectantly.
"it's…for yuuji.”
“ah,” you realize, unable to keep from smiling. “your protégé.”
“he’s more like my intern,” he corrects, taking two plates from the cabinet.
you grab a third, following him to the dining table to help him set up. “you fired your last intern because you didn’t like how he organized your files. yet this one is sukuna’s vessel, and you’re bringing him soba.”
nanami pulls out your chair, kissing the top of your head before settling in his own seat. "you don't approve."
"it's not about that. if you say he's not dangerous, of course i believe you.”
he looks at you for a moment, and you can practically see the gears turning in his head as he figures out what to say.
“i just…don’t want him to feel so alone,” he says softly. “you heard about what happened at the detention center. gojo’s trying to hide him from the higher-ups right now, but we don’t know how long that’ll last. he’s just a kid, and gojo’s has a lot going on. so i— i want to look out for him.”
he glances over at the takeout bag, where the third box is sitting. “i may not be able to protect him like gojo can, but i can at least make sure he’s eating.”
you know he’s been exhausted lately. you can see it in the lines on his face and the slight sag of his shoulders when he trudges home at the end of the day.
yet he still finds time to care for a student that’s not his own.
and oh, if that did not make your heart skip a beat, knowing you were loved by a man capable of such care. you can’t help but watch him, almost unable to wrap your head around how lucky you are.
“you’re staring, dear.”
you sigh loudly, rising from your seat to wrap your arms around his shoulders, kissing his cheek. “i think my heart might burst if i find another reason to love you more than i already do.”
he takes your hand, pressing his lips to your engagement ring.
“you love me plenty already. which is why you’ve already set a third plate out to invite yuuji to eat with us, correct?”
_____
“and then nanamin charged in and chopped it up just like this—”
nanami watches you watch yuuji swing a single chopstick menacingly as he recounts their last mission.
“he just charged in, hm?” you ask calmly. “yuuji, you’ll tell me if my fiancé is being reckless, won’t you?”
“yes ma’am!”
the blond sits up, clearing his throat. “surely that’s not necessary.”
“he’s so stubborn, isn’t he?” you ask the boy sitting across from you, even rolling your eyes.
“sure is! he’s pretty bossy too.”
nanami’s scoffs as if he’s annoyed, but secretly…secretly he couldn’t be more pleased.
he’s always wanted to be a lot of things in his life. a good sorcerer, a good employee. a good man.
but all of those things he thought he needed to be to live a full life are irrelevant.
because nothing is more fufilling than being needed and being loved.
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