#wait until i start T and finally ask my family to use my name or pronouns

[breaddo]

rejection bad feel sick and i have to go to work in 5 minutes and be on register 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

[thevoidstaredback]

Tales of Conquest, Warnings of Fools:

Letters Between Brothers

Damian Wayne, Feb. 16, 2012

It’s been exactly sixteen days since I found out that father went missing. It’s been fifteen days since I last wrote to you. I’m still waiting for an answer. Just in case, however, I’ve started to keep a closer eye on things here in Illinois. Once I’ve got an information network kind-of up and running, I’ll hopefully be able to keep an eye on a much larger area than just one state.

I can’t believe it took me this long to set up a web.

You’ll notice that there’s no return address on this letter. On the off chance that father going missing involves the Shadows somehow, I’ve decided to let this line drop. When If you decide to write to me again, the return will be the same as it was before. It’ll be the best way to reach me, unless you want to use the number from my first letter.

I have anything in my P.O. Box delivered to a secondary location where I can pick it up, as I told you before. I’ll check there as frequently as I can.

أتمنى أن يكون كل شيء على ما يرام

***

The letters were given to Damian by Alfred just as his Father had always been handed mail. They were set on a tray on a table near the front door and brought to the dining table just before lunch was served.

The mail had been piling up recently. Sure, they all saw the letters on the dining table, but no one had the energy to look at the names written on them. Fortunately, the ones on the top were addressed to Damian. Unfortunately, everything aside from the death of his Father had been pushed to his mind. It could all wait.

It wasn’t confirmed that Father was dead. In fact, their story for the public is that he was kidnapped, that they had hired some private investigators to look for him, and that they would pay any ransom asked as long as it was within their capabilities. It had been a long shot, but it was their final act of desperation. They were all prepared for the worst, though. Waiting for confirmation, evidence, that Father was truely dead was like waiting for the blade of a guillotine to fall. They would likely have to call it if he didn’t show up by year’s end.

Damian had only just gotten his Father, and now he was losing him. It wasn’t fair! Sent so far from home and to the house of a stranger, only to lose the man just as he’s getting attached! It was cruel. He could not bear the thought, so he ignored the letters with his father’s name. He ignored the letters with his name because he now held his father’s name.

Grayson was better at hiding his grief, trying to hold everything together, but it was obvious he, too, was falling into the same pit as the rest of them, only he was going to fall deeper. As much as it pained Damian to admit, Grayson was Father’s first chosen. He knew that what he felt at the loss of his Father, Grayson was feeling worse.

It would not do to compare grief, but he couldn’t help it. Grayson had been with Father the longest. Todd, while too angry to even fleetingly consider the idea of remaining a part of the family, was still Father’s first adopted. Drake, no matter how incompetent, had been the one to keep Father and Gotham well up until now. Damian had only been there, had only known Father, for a year.

Damian remembers the grief that had warped into anger. He remembers he and the people Father and Pennyworth insist are his brothers finding themselves and each other in the Cave, each of them intent on taking the Batman Cowl. After all, Gotham will not survive without Batman. None of them took it, though no one forgot it, either.

Todd and Drake had been the first two to fight over Father’s Cowl. Damian had net been allowed a mask, but he had helped to save Drake’s life after he fought Todd. He figures it was penance for attempting to kill him within his first month at the Manor.

Grayson had met Todd on the top of a moving train. No matter how much history the two had, being brothers and colleagues, their fight was inevitable. Grayson ended as the victor after knocking Todd off of the train.

Damian remembers the week after Grayson won. He stripped Drake of the title of Robin and gave it to Damian, while he became Batman. Drake had then left the country with the new name Red Robin.

While he knew that grief shows differently across the board, he knew it followed the same five steps. He was now at Acceptance. Grayson was stuck at Depression. Todd seemed to be stuck at Anger. But Drake was still at Denial.

However, Damian knew people who have died could still be alive. Grandfather, Danyal, and Todd. All three had died, and yet all three now walk amongst the living. Grandfather’s heart has to stop before the Pits can work to revive him. Danyal had not died and revived in the same sense, but he had been proclaimed and mourned. Todd had been killed and buried for six months before rejoining the living, as catatonic as he may have been. Why would Father be any different? Father could’ve faked his death for one reason or another, or he could’ve really died and it was only a matter of time before he came back!

Perhaps, Damian was still in Bargaining.

Death was a concept that he was intimately familiar with. There were ways to reverse its effects, and there were ways to make it more efficient. Father disappearing could mean anything.

This was all to say that Damian believed Drake. Father could be dead, but he could be alive. For as much as he hated Drake, Damian was not going to deny the points he made. He wasn’t going to help him, though. He had other duties to attend to, such as the meeting on the Watchtower he had to attend with Grayson as Batman and Robin.

“How are things going in Gotham?” Superman asked as Batman and Robin exited the Zeta Tubes.

Batman grunted as he always did, “Fine.”

Superman frowned, following Batman to the meeting room. “Are you sure? I saw the news. Are you okay?”

“Why would I not be?” Batman asked.

“Well, uh,” It was fun to watch Superman at a loss for words. “You must’ve gotten hurt pretty bad to not go out for almost two months,” he said, “And now Bruce Wayne is missing.”

The door to the meeting room opened, letting Superman, Batman, and Robin in. All conversation stopped. “Why would I be upset about Wayne going missing?”

Damian had to commend Grayson’s performance. He’d read in Father’s files that Superman could hear heartbeats, so tricking him was quite the accomplishment. He was upset, though, that the Kryptonian had yet to notice him. Actually, it seemed none of the heroes had noticed him.

“And Nightwing’s out of commission!” The Flash chimed in from his seat.

Batman turned his glare on the speedster. “Nightwing is doing some undercover work at the moment.”

“Oh.”

Superman took his seat beside Wonder Woman, leaving Batman and Robin with one chair left. Batman took it while Robin went to the dark corner to watch.

Wonder Woman stood. “Thank you all for coming,” she said as though this wasn’t a mandatory, bi-monthly meeting, “Currently, there is no situation that requires all of our focus. Washington D.C. is as it always is, as well as Gateway City.”

“And Themyscira?” Hawkgirl asked.

“They have not reached out about any problems they cannot handle on their own.” She retook her seat, prompting Superman to stand next.

And so the meeting went. Quick debriefs from everyone about their home cities, no more than five minutes each. Just as Batman designed it. When it came to the Dark Knights turn, however, he waited a full three seconds before standing. It was the only hint that something was off, but only Kal-El noticed, though he didn’t speak up about it.

“There have been no recent Arkham breakouts,” he reported, “Bruce Wayne has gone missing. The situation, however, is under control.” A bold faced lie, but no one could call him out on it. And those who could, wouldn’t dare. “Nightwing is doing undercover work and won’t be around for the foreseeable future. Red Robin is traveling for a mission of his own and won’t be around for the foreseeable future. Myself and Robin will be covering Gotham, though that does not invite any of you to operate in the city for any reason without explicit permission.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Aquaman said, “Who’s Red Robin?”

Batman blinked, the white lenses of his mask hiding it from everyone except Robin. “Red Robin.”

“Yeah,” the merman agreed, “Who is he?”

“He is Red Robin.” Batman stated.

Aquaman made to speak again, but Robin cut him off, looking at the screen on his wrist. “Batman,” he slunk from the shadows, pulling all attention to him and startling the heroes, “A message from Oracle. Conflict in Crime Alley.” Batman nodded with a grunt, sweeping out of the room. Robin followed.

“Hey, wait a second!” The Flash caught up to them quickly, stopping in front of them to cut them off. “Who is this!”

“Robin.”

“No,” The Flash shook his head, “Robin is a sickly Victorian child with a coffee addiction and a bo staff. This is not Robin.”

Robin clicked his tongue, “Tt. I am Robin.” He slowly pulled the katana at his hip from its sheath, just enough for the light to catch the blade. “Move.”

Batman held his arm out, not touching Robin, but catching his arm all the same. His head twitched to the right then the left. Robin resheathed his katana with another click of his tongue.

The Flash held up both of his hands and stepped back, “R-right. See you in two months?”

Neither vigilante responded, simply walking around him and back to the Zeta Tubes. Once the coords were set, they found themselves back in the Batcave. They still didn’t speak, opting to walk through the Cave and change into civvies in companionable silence. Finally, though, when they arrived in the Manor, Grayson spoke.

“You did well today,” his smile was gentle, “I was so nervous when I went to my first JL meeting! So were Jay and Tim. Steph never got to meet them, but I’m sure she would’ve been nervous, too.”

Dam 

Damian left the room a step ahead of Grayson. “Being nervous about such a trivial meeting is unnecessary. The meeting itself was pointless. You withheld information from them, they all withheld information from each other. Why do they claim to be a team if you all do not trust each other as one? It seems a pointless waste of resources.

Grayson hummed. “I couldn’t tell you why everyone withholds information, but I can tell you that it’s not a waste of resources. Even if it was, Wayne Enterprises and Queen Consolidated fund basically everything.”

“Queen is Green Arrow, yes?” He turned into the dining room.

Grayson followed him still. “You figured it out that quickly?”

“Of course. The man is smart about his identity, but anyone who looks even a little closer than a glance at his company’s financial records would piece everything together.”

“Yeah,” Grayson chuckled, “But their tech girl is really good.”

“Better than Oracle?”

“Hey, now that’s not fair!”

“It is perfectly fair, Grayson. The children at school call it ‘home team solidarity’.” He took his pace at the table directly across from where Grayson was sitting, the head chair between them sitting empty. “So, Grayson, who is better? Felicity Smoak or Barbra Gordon?”

Pennyworth placed a plate in front of each of them, a cup following shortly after. The stack of letters in the middle of the table was three letters bigger.

Grayson huffed and stabbed his salad. “Not fair.”

Damian took the victory for what it was.

“Speaking of,” Grayson said a few moments later, “On the Watchtower, you said something about a message from Oracle? Something about Crime Alley?”

Damian swallowed his food before speaking. “Are you deaf? You were going to blow your cover, so I took the liberty of giving you a way out of the situation.”

“Aww!” Grayson cooed, “You do care!”

He huffed, moving to take another bite. “I care about not revealing our identities. Father is missing, Drake has gone off to who knows where looking for him, and you have taken the Cowl. The Justice League - a stupid name, by the way - would’ve figured out who we are if we had stayed any longer.

“‘A stupid name’ he says,” Grayson mumbled, “This coming from the kid raised by a group called the League of Assassins.” louder, he said, “You really have such little faith in my acting abilities?”

“‘League of assassins’ is the name outsiders have given it. ‘Shadows’ or ‘League of Shadow’ is the proper name.” He corrected. “And, yes. I don’t believe you could hold your cover under the scrutiny of the rest of the Justice League. You and Father have been around them enough times that they will know your tells if you do not hide them better. While you have them convinced for now, you must get better because they will know what to look for soon enough.” He took a sip of his water. “Besides, I don’t doubt that you can hide your identity as Nightwing acting as Batman from them. The line of questioning, should I have not gotten us out, would have risked our civilian identities. And, while I don’t care much for any of you, Father has taken painstaking measures to assure he is not discovered. Risking yourself risks all of us.”

Quiet permeated the room after his small speech was done. The two occupants finishing their food at a moderate pace.

The mansion was empty. In the year he’d been there, Damian had found that the Manor was always filled with noise and people. Now, however, it was just him, Grayson, and Pennyworth. Todd stayed in Crime Alley, not coming up for anything; Drake was somewhere in the world; Gordon was staying with her father for the time being; Brown had moved to Hong Kong with Cain, keeping little to no contact. Damian hated how empty it was. It reminded him of Nanda Parbat after Danyal had been pronounced dead. Barren, silent, dull.

Wayne Manor was, at its very core, a family home. Now, there was no family to fill its walls.

Reaching over, Damian picked up the letters that had been gathering for the last almost-two months. He was quick to sort through them. Father, Father, Father, Father- Damian? He set it aside. Father, Father, Damian again, Father, Damian. He set the rest down, not bothering to look through the rest of the pile. Why did he have mail? No one should be trying to-

Danyal.

How could he have forgotten? He must be so worried! Did he know what happened to Father? Was he waiting for a response? He needed to rectify this immediately.

Damian gathered his three letters and stood. “Excuse me.” He left the room, ignoring Grayson’s question of what was wrong. Quickly, he retreated to his room and sat at his desk, the envelopes glaring at him. Oddly, one of them didn’t have a return address on it, though the handwriting was the same on all of them.

He stared at the three for a little over an hour, struggling to open them. He wanted to, to see what his brother had said, but he couldn’t bring himself to add anything to his plate. Grayson and Pennyworth would not be able to handle the added stress of anything Danyal had put in his letters. He couldn’t handle whatever had been written down. Not yet, at least.

Would Danyal understand? He hoped so.

Damian tucked the three letters into the same drawer as the others, promising himself that he would read them later when he was more settled into his new role as Robin.

*

Three months later and Damian still hadn’t read the latters. They sat with the other, opened ones in the top left drawer of his desk, locked away from even himself. Every night, after patrol, he spent a good thirty minutes staring, trying to convince himself to open them, but he never did.

No follow-up letters came in, either, and that made him feel worse, somehow. Was Danyal upset with him? Was he in trouble? Was he waiting for a response? Damian didn’t know. He knew he’d have his answers if he opened the letters, but he couldn’t do it. So, they sat, tucked away, with an empty promise to read them later.

It’s not completely his fault that he hasn’t read them yet! Because it was just him and Grayson going out every night, he was working on several cases at once, while also keeping himself and Grayson alive. Pennyworth was doing what he could, but he is only one man. Brown and Cain only join them a few times a month, much more busy with their own things. Todd has stayed in Crime Alley, not even offering to branch out a few streets to help out. Gordon was still with her father, unable (or unwilling?) to act as Oracle for the time being. Not to mention that Drake was still MIA, looking for Father.

Between his duties as Robin, picking up the slack from the others, keeping himself and Grayson alive and as unharmed as they could be, and maintaining his civilian cover, could he really be blamed for not having the time to read his brother’s letters?

Yes.

There was still no news on Father. Drake was looking for him, chasing down leads that no one else had, but everyone else had given up. Grayson had taken to staying in Father’s room, crying when he thought no one was around because he wasn’t supposed to ever be Batman. Todd hadn’t bothered to contact anyone, but he hadn’t been too keen on the possibility of Father being alive from the very beginning. Pennyworth had seemed to come to the Acceptance stage and was moving on, doing as he always did. Cain, Brown, and Gordon weren’t around much, either, but it was clear they, too, had given up on Father’s life. The citizens of Gotham were much the same, offering sympathies and waiting for their declaration and a funeral date.

Damian was not prepared for any news other than his Father being around. He knew, in the back of his mind, that they were only holding off on the official announcement until Drake returned. If he didn’t return, then Damian supposed he would be the only one holding Grayson back from announcing Father’s death.

What a terrible burden to put on a child’s shoulders.

Damian found himself, once again, sitting in Father’s office. It was the one place no one ever went, not even to get to the Cave, so he was completely alone with Alfred the cat. The grandfather clock didn’t tick, but the hum of electricity from the elevator behind it was steady in the room, grounding Damian, keeping him from losing himself in his head.

The quiet was always a reprieve for him. In Nanda Parbat, there was always some noise, no matter how subtle or hidden. Footsteps only heard if you were listening for them, barely-there whispers of breath, wind against the walls and roof, murmurs of orders being relayed, the clink of weapons meeting, grunts from training, splashes from injuries, water flowing, snow melting, crops being tended to, animals. It all had a sound.

Silence, to everyone else, was foreboding; the tale tell signs of something not being right; the calm before a storm. To an assassin, silence was like coming home. Silence meant that they would be okay, that they’d live to see another day.

Damian relished in the silence of his Father’s office because it proved that he had been there. The room was empty, grieving for the man that had become lost, but it proved to Damian that his Father had been there. In some way, it brought him closer to his Father.

It was in the silence of his Father’s office that he spoke. Things he’d never been allowed to say with his Mother, things that he’d rather die than admit to anyone but himself.

“I don’t know what to do,” he whispered, his hand petting Alfred’s head, “I really don’t know what to do.”

And wasn’t that a terrifying thought? He’d been raised by Grandfather and Mother to always know exactly what was going on. If he didn’t know what was going on, he was to act like he did. Situations stayed in his control that way. Now, though, he couldn’t even pretend to know what was going on or what to do. Everyone was falling apart at the seams, overworked, stressed. No one had time for anything because they were all trying to fill the space Bruce left by pulling in every direction except in.

He felt like he was standing in the middle of a tornado. Father was gone, Pennyworth was trying to keep some form of normality, Grayson was trying to fill shoes that were never made for him to wear, Drake was trying to fix everything by looking for the epicenter of it all, and everyone else was falling away.

Everyone was pulling away from each other and blaming everyone else. He didn’t know what to do and it scared him.

In the year he’d been in the Manor before Father disappeared, they’d all been trying to teach Damian that it was okay for him to just be a kid sometimes. It went against everything he’d been raised on and taught, but he found it…fun. It was nice to not have to be looking over his shoulder all the time. He didn’t have to worry about traitors coming after him or when his next assignment would be, nor how long he’d be away from home.

He almost regretted listening to them now. Because now Father’s gone, Grayson is stretched so thin that he looks ready to keel over, Drake is gone, Todd is silent, the girls are so far away-!

Damian’s just a little kid. He doesn’t know how to deal with the situation.

So, he sits in his Father’s office with Alfred the cat and talks. Whether he talks to himself, his cat, or his Father, he doesn’t know. He just talks.

“I am not trained to handle this situation, Alfred,” he told the tuxedo cat on his lap, “I don’t think any of the others are, either.” He wanted to curl up, to pull his knees to his chest and bury his face in his arms. He wanted to cry. “I don’t know what to do.”

Danyal would know what to do.

But Danyal’s not here because Damian is a coward.

*

There are moments that Damian keeps close to his chest. Things that not even Mother knows. Moments when he and Danyal would sneak onto rooftops and speak of what scared them; moments when it was just him and his brother, telling stories they’d made up on their own; moments when they’d teach other what they were lacking at or in; moments curled up in the chicken coop or in the shed behind the greenhouses; moments where they could just be kids.

Damianand Danyal often found themselves alone together, shaking bodyguards or traitors - it was hard to tell who was who - off their tail and hiding in places only they could reach. They’d been praised by Grandfather for being so small, able to fit in the least likely of places, making missions take shorter amounts of time purely because they were small enough to go to their targets instead of waiting for them to come out.

One of their favorite places to be were the caves under Nanda Parbat. Not the Lazarus Pit caves! They’d never go near those. These caves were hidden from the others, too hard for adults to get to.

“We’re going to be too big to fit in here soon, ahki,” Danyal whispered, his voice carrying in the open space.

Damian clicked his tongue. “Then we will need to find somewhere else to make our own, akhi.”

Danyal frowned, “And leave Goliath all alone? No way!”

A sigh. “Unfortunately, Goliath will have to stay here in the caves. He was born here; he will be fine.”

A pout. “We could take him with us!”

“Where would we keep him?”

“In our rooms?”

“He’s down here because he got too big for us to keep in our rooms. He’s only going to get bigger.”

“Well, I’m not leaving him here.”

“Well, he can’t come with us.”

“We could keep him higher up the peak!”

“And keep him from his natural habitat? I think not.”

“How do you know that this is his natural habitat?”

“Because-” He cut himself off, Danyal doing the same.

Just in the distance, close enough to make out words, they heard voices. Some of the Shadows had followed them down and were looking for them. Quickly, they hid in the darkest corners of the cavern, the fire doused and Goliath preparing to attack.

The four Shadows came and passed, their carried conversation hinting that they were traitors in the ranks. After ten more minutes of nothing but silence, Damian and Danyal slunk from their hiding spots.

Danyal patted Goliath’s snout. “Sorry, bud, but we’ve gotta go.”

Damian nodded, also petting the dragon bat’s nose. “We will return when we can. In the meantime, Grandfather will want to know what we’ve learned.”

“When will he return?”

“Grandfather and Mother should both be here within the month. We will tell them then.”

Little moments that no one would think twice about until they’re all they have left. Memories of someone just out of their reach. Damian had a lot of those moments of Danyal and himself, all held very closely. He didn’t have nearly as many with Father, only as many as the fingers on his hand. Grayson tried his best to make up for the time Father was missing, but it wasn’t the same. He didn’t know what it felt like to have a father, but spending time with Grayson felt close to what he knew it should be.

“Any news from Drake?” Damian asked as he sat in front of Grayson at the table. He snuck a look at the shrunken pile of letters, but didn’t see another one with his name on it. He didn’t know what he expected. It had been six months.

Grayson shook his head, his long hair greasy and in his face. He was mostly focused on the paperwork in front of him. Some of it from his day job, but most of it was from case files he was working on as Batman. “Nope, still radio silence from Tim, Jason, Steph, and Cass.”

“What of Gordon?”

He sighed. “She’s not talking to me much, but I get it. Life happens. She told me she’ll get back to helping us out as soon as she can, but I don’t think that’ll be for a while.”

“I see,” Damian fell silent. “What of the WAR case?”

Grayson sighed heavier, his hands running through his hair again. “I still can’t get a hold of their leader. The guy’s slippery, and anyone working with him is just as!”

Damian hummed. “Perhaps you should let me focus on that case.”

“What? No, I can’t-”

“You’re stretching yourself too thin, Grayson, you will end up killing yourself if you do not take a step back.”

Grayson looked up for the first time since Damian had joined him with a concerned frown on his face. “Where’s this coming from, Dames?”

Damian didn’t react to the nickname. “If you die, then I will be alone.” he stated. Then, he stood, took the WAR case file from Grayson, and left the room. “Get some sleep.”

He found himself in his room, the case file in his hands, but all his attention on the locked top drawer. Danyal would know what to do. Danyal, despite being younger, always excelled with social lessons. He was always the fastest thinker, coming up with solutions to problems before they could become problems.

He opened the drawer, the key hanging around his neck at all times. Inside was every letter his brother had sent him. On the very top were the three he hadn’t brought himself to read open. If he read them now, would Danyal even want to hear from him? It’s been six months.

Damian closed the drawer, locking it, and hiding the key under his shirt again. He was quick to leave his room, taking the WAR case file with him to his Father’s office. He could focus there where the unopened letters weren’t looming over him.

Damian is a coward.

Translation 1 - Arabic: I hope everything is okay

Part 4 Part 6 Artwork

[1004tyun-archive]

❥ needy

✧ summary: you’ve brought your perfect boyfriend along on family vacation and everything goes smoothly until taehyun finds himself yearning for your touch in a crowded living room

✧ genres: non idol au, smut, established relationship

✧ warnings: sub!taehyun, dom reader, mommy kink, older!reader (implied), dirty talk, unprotected sex, cum eating, lactation (mentioned), breeding kink, y/n has protective parents, taehyun is a submissive pussydrunk cum eating little slut in this lol

✧ word count: 4.1k words

✧ a/n: it’s finally here! quite possibly the filthiest smut i’ve ever written lol this one took me a while but i hope the wait was worth it. thank you all again for everything <3

taglist: @yagsoobin @napofamoon @banggyu0308 @cherrypeaking @luvsoobs @sofiw0rld

The chilly air blows, rustling the branches of the trees as you and Taehyun take a nice stroll in the park, hand in hand. You glance over at your boyfriend and he looks nothing short of angelic as he stands in the glow of the winter sunset.

You’ve always known Taehyun was beautiful, but he was downright breathtaking.

Here it is, the perfect opportunity.

Deep breath.

You only have one shot at this.

“Taehyun?”

Taehyun looks to you, brown eyes illuminated by the golden sun. You exhale and lower to your knee, your gaze meeting Taehyun’s from the ground. His eyes widen.

“Y/N?”

“Kang Taehyun, will you…?”

“Will you come to my family’s year-end vacation with me?”

Taehyun stares down at you with his arms crossed, his lips pressed into a line. He starts walking away from you and you quickly spring to your feet to follow him.

“Taehyun! Taehyun, wait!”

“Really, Y/N? Family vacation?” he asks. You can hear a touch of a smile in his tone and your previous worries melt away.

“Yes, really. It’s important to me, and so are you.”

You try your best to match his pace until you’re finally walking beside him, shoulder to shoulder.

“My parents really want to meet you. They want to see if you live up to the hype.”

“Live up to the hype? What have you been telling them about me?”

“Nothing but the truth,” you say. “Like how you’re an engineering major and how you were nice enough to help me with my math homework back when I was still going here, and how that led to us dating. And how if you weren’t pursuing a career in the sciences, you’d be making music. Oh, and that you have a cat, but you’re allergic.”

“You didn’t tell them about anything too personal, right? Like the things we do… alone together?”

“What things?” You mentally pause for a moment, wondering just what Taehyun could possibly be talking about. Then, it hits you like a ton of bricks.

Oh, he’s talking about that thing.

“Oh, the mommy dom thing?” you ask and Taehyun is quick to shush you, as if merely the mention of the name mommy will have people turning their heads. You raise an eyebrow.

“Don’t act so bashful now. You weren’t complaining last night when I—”

“—You didn’t tell them, right?”

“Taehyun, why would I tell them about that?”

“I just want to make sure. You told me you talk to your mom about everything…”

“Yeah, everything except /that/. That’s between you and me, baby. You know that.”

He visibly softens at the mention of his pet name and you resist the urge to ruffle his hair and kiss his forehead.

“Okay, just making sure,” he says, quieter, pouting a bit.

“What? You don’t want mommy around anymore? Is that it?”

Taehyun frowns, “N-No, that’s not it. I’m… I’m still not used to this.”

You place your hand on the back of Taehyun’s neck and he gasps a little. Your fingers slide into his hair and you watch him basically melt under your touch.

“Oh, but you’re so good at it. So good at being my good boy,” you say, voice soft in the way you know affects him.

“You’re mommy’s good boy, right?”

“Mhm,” Taehyun hums, nodding, blush dusting his cheeks.

“Say it,” you order, just as softly as you tug on his hair.

“Yes, T-Taehyunie is mommy’s good boy,” he repeats, biting back a moan.

“And is my good boy coming to family vacation with me?”

Taehyun nods, and you smile, satisfied. If there was one thing you were always sure about, it’s that your boyfriend could never say no to you.

“Good, can’t wait!”

You loosen your grip on your boyfriend’s hair and you can hear a quiet whimper escape his lips. You walk ahead of him, now it’s his turn to catch up with you.

“Come on, let’s go get something to eat!”

Taehyun hums and nods in acknowledgement, the tips of his ears turning red.

It takes you slamming your entire body weight on your suitcase to finally get it closed. You call for Taehyun to come into your bedroom to help zip it up, and he looks at you in confusion.

“How long is this trip again?” he asks, knowing both you and him know the answer.

“A week,” you answer meekly. You just know he’s about to tear into you from the way he stands in front of you with his arms crossed.

“A week long trip yet you’re packing for the whole month?”

“I have to be prepared!”

“Prepared for what, Y/N? A nuclear apocalypse?”

“For… you know!”

“No, I can’t say I do know. Come on, get up. We’re repacking.”

You pout and whine, “Taehyun—”

“—Funny, I thought I was the baby here.”

Oh, he really just went there.

You narrow your eyes at him and he simply smirks like he’s won this little battle between the two of you.

And sure, maybe he has won for now. Little does he know you’re putting that snide remark of his in your back pocket for later.

You concede and roll off of your suitcase, causing it to spring open like a jack in the box, clothes bursting out of the confines. Taehyun shakes his head and starts pulling clothes out.

The suitcase you end up with is still twice the size of Taehyun’s. He shakes his head as you both try your hardest to push it into the trunk of the van.

“Her bag’s gonna weigh the car down again.” your younger brother wisecracks as he throws his bag into the back with ease and gets into the van.

“We can fix this,” Taehyun grabs your bag and after a little strategic rearranging, he manages to get your bag in with the rest, earning the approval of your parents.

“We should bring him along all the time if he can handle Y/N’s packing,” dad says, to your chagrin.

The hours long drive to the beach property was about as enjoyable as it sounds, with your young siblings sitting in the furthest back of the van and you and Taehyun seated right behind your parents, mom sitting behind the wheel blasting her favorite throwback tunes.

“So, Taehyun,” she starts, turning the dial to turn the music down. “How long have you known our little Y/N?”

“Mom, I’m not little.”

“Fine, our big, old curmudgeonly Y/N. How does that sound?” mom teases and Taehyun stifles a laugh then quickly composes himself.

“We’ve known each other for a little over a year,” you answer.

“Y/N, let us talk to your boyfriend,” mom said. “We won’t ask him anything embarrassing, we promise.”

You could never be sure with your parents. You know they mean well, but when they pry, they really pry, hunting for every miniscule detail pertaining to your relationship. You consider yourself a fully grown adult, your brain’s been done developing for a good two years now after all, but in the eyes of your parents, you’re still worth being protective over, no matter how old you are.

So of course they spend the majority of the time running a background check on Taehyun, asking him every single question imaginable, even things you’ve already answered for them before.

“Y/N’s always wanted to be an elementary school teacher,” mom says. “She’s always been good with handling her younger brothers, so she’s great with kids.”

“I can tell she loves her job. Mommy’s so loved by all the kids—” Taehyun stops himself before he can say anymore. You watch as all the color is drained from your boyfriend’s face.

“He’s just joking,” you quickly add with a nervous laugh. “One of the kids called me that during class the other day, so he just likes to tease me about it.”

There’s a pregnant pause in the conversation until your mom finally laughs and reaches back to give Taehyun a smack on the arm.

“It’s not nice to tease your girlfriend like that, you know! Only we’re allowed to do that,” she chides playfully.

“That just means he fits right in with the family!” dad chimes in.

Your parents laugh and you mentally take a sigh of relief once it seems like they’ve taken the bait. You glare at Taehyun and he averts his eyes, no doubt feeling guilty for that little slip up.

As soon as you arrive at the beach house, you jump out of the car and haul your suitcase upstairs on your own, eager to finally sit somewhere that isn’t a polyester car seat. You claimed a room for you and Taehyun to share back when your parents were still looking at pictures of the property, so you were quick to run there, drop your things, and flop onto the bed like a fish out of water.

No time to admire the snowy beach landscape or watch the waves, only sink into the mattress and waste away.

Taehyun follows behind you shortly after, dragging his suitcase with him.

“Tired?” he asks.

“Mhm,” you respond, though it’s muffled since your face is buried in a pillow. You feel the weight on the bed shift and the warmth of your boyfriend’s body next to yours.

“We finally have some alone time,” he says, sounding relieved. His warm, strong hand rubs up and down your back. You turn to face Taehyun and inch closer until the tips of your noses touch.

“Good. I missed you,” you whisper.

“Me too, even though we sat next to each other in a packed car for three hours,” Taehyun says with a chuckle.

“I’m always missing you. It’s so easy to miss my Taehyunie.”

Taehyun doesn’t say anything but the soft, fondest look in his eyes says it all. He inches forward and kisses your lips.

“My baby,” you whisper, gently ruffling his hair and you can just see him visibly soften up. He closes his eyes and you watch him slowly transition into a submissive headspace as your fingers massage his scalp.

You kiss his lips and he kisses you back with a little more pressure than before. Your kisses get deeper and you shift around so that you’re hovering over Taehyun while he watches you with admiration in his eyes. You tug at his bottom lip with your teeth and he bites back a whimper.

“Y/N!!”

Your mother yelling from downstairs startles and annoys you all at once. You huff an irritated sigh and Taehyun laughs at you.

“I don’t miss that,” you grouse as you get up from the bed. Mom makes you bring up cases of alcoholic cider to have with dinner tonight.

“We weren’t interrupting anything, were we?” mom asks teasingly. Your lack of response causes her to tease you further.

“Don’t worry, once we’re done putting the food away, you can go makeout with your boyfriend all you want!”

“Mom!”

All this commotion and you’ve never been so bored.

Asking Taehyun to come on your family’s annual year-end vacation really did feel like proposing.

Luckily, if there’s one thing about Taehyun, he could never say no to you. No matter how many silent, jokingly judgemental glances he gives you, he’s always bound to say yes.

You knew Taehyun being liked by your family wasn’t going to be an issue— everyone who knows Taehyun loves him.

You just didn’t expect having to fight for time with him.

Dinner has been eaten, and dad’s washing the dishes. The windows in the house were wide open to let in the cool air and the sounds of the crashing waves just outside.

You lean against the wall in the kitchen, sipping some cider in a red plastic cup as you quietly watch your boyfriend win your entire family over with all his charm and charisma. You should’ve known his social butterfly tendencies would apply around your family as well.

He’s been talking to your mother for almost an hour now, about who knows what. You can’t hear them over the loud music or your siblings playing video games on the couch.

You knew your parents would love him, but was it too much to ask for a bit of your boyfriend’s time? She’s already asked him so much, what else was there to talk about?

Eventually, he does separate from your mother and you and Taehyun spot each other from across the room. He meets you where you are and leans against the same wall.

“Looks like you’re pretty popular,” you remark.

“You think so?” Taehyun asks, sounding certain of your answer but wanting to hear it from you anyway.

“Yeah, they love you. You’re welcome, by the way. For putting in a good word for you.”

“You’re too kind.”

Taehyun falls silent and quietly scans the room. You watch him as he does so, noticing he looks rather antsy.

“Are you okay?” you ask.

“Mhm,” he hums, lips pressed into a line.

“No, you’re not,” you say, and you can see Taehyun’s resolve begin to crack a bit.

Without a word, he takes you by the hand and drags you to the nearest corner, pulling you close to him with his back against the room’s corner.

“Y/N, I need you…” he admits.

“Need me?” you echo.

He takes your hand and drags it down to his cock, already half-hard in his jeans.

“No, I really need you,” he emphasizes, a little more desperately. “Please, mommy…”

You’re a bit take aback, after all you didn’t expect for him to be this needy or pull the mommy card while on vacation, but just like how Taehyun has a hard time saying no to you, you can’t help but give him exactly what he wants.

But not just yet.

“And what makes you think you deserve to get what you want, hm?” you ask.

Taehyun’s entire energy changes, he looks down at you with glittering, desperate eyes.

“Mommy, you know I didn’t mean to—“

“—This isn’t about whether or not you meant to, you still did it. Calling me mommy in front of my parents and getting snarky with me over my luggage.”

Taehyun frowns, “I call you that all the time, so it just slipped out…”

“And what about you being a little too clever for your own good?”

Taehyun whimpers, his eyes not meeting yours.

“Taehyunie, look at me,” you say firmly and you can notice his eyes brimming with guilty tears.

“Mommy…” he says quietly, so apologetically that it breaks your heart a little.

“Is my baby boy really sorry?”

Taehyun nods fervently, “Yes, mommy. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean all that, you know I would never embarrass you or hurt you…”

Your expression softens. You can tell he means this, and not just because he’s desperate to be touched by you. He’s genuinely sorry.

Taehyun shuts his eyes and hisses when you palm him through his black sweatpants, feeling him stiffen under your hand’s movements.

“What do you need from me, baby?” you whisper, pressing a kiss to the shell of his ear.

“Need to be inside you, mommy. Please?”

You look up at him and Taehyun looks at you with glittering, pleading eyes. How could you possibly say no when he looks at you like this?

You give the room a quick, cursory glance before taking Taehyun’s hand and heading upstairs to your shared guest room. You quietly shut the door and lock it behind you, leading Taehyun to the bed. He stands between your legs, rolling his hips against yours as he hungrily kisses you, strong hands roaming your body.

“You really needed this, huh, baby?” you ask softly and Taehyun hums.

“Mhm, needed this so badly…” he sighs, his lips immediately returning to yours. He licks your bottom lip, gently coaxing you to open your mouth, and slides his tongue past your lips. His tongue slides against yours as he continues to rut against you. You separate, a string of saliva falling between the two of you.

“Only the tip,” you say and Taehyun fights a frown. You notice this and your eyebrow twitches.

“It’s that or nothing, baby. You know how loud you get when you’re needy like this.”

He pouts and gives you those sweet, puppy dog eyes to sway you, but it’s no use. You both know that it’s going to have to be like this. Taehyun wants nothing more than to be inside you, to feel the delicious squeeze of your pussy clenching around his cock. And if this was his only way of getting it, he had no choice but to play by your rules first.

You tug down the front of his sweatpants and click your tongue at the tent forming in his underwear.

“Such a little slut. So horny already when all we did was kiss,” you whisper. Your fingers graze against his length and circle the tip. Taehyun’s breathing is shallow as he watches your movements, chest rising and falling as your fingers teasing his hardening cock.

“M-Mommy…” he whimpers, voice etched with desire as his leaking cock twitches.

“So sensitive…” you coo, and get on your knees to kiss the tip of his cock through his underwear. Taehyun gasps and his hips jerk forward. You feel him watching you as you drag your tongue against the length of his clothed cock and start sucking on the tip. He whimpers and you feel his fingers card through your hair. His sighs and moans paired with his tight grip on your hair were shooting straight to your pussy, making you throb.

“Mm..! W-Wait! M-Mommy, wait…” he mumbles, rolling his hips in rhythm with your tongue. You pull away, a string of saliva falling between you and his crotch and Taehyun looks down at you, chest heaving.

“Keep your voice down,” you order and Taehyun quietly stammers an apology.

You slide your fingers under the waistband of his boxers and tug them down his thighs, his erect cock springing free from the clothed confinement. The reddened tip was already leaking, precum slowly dribbling down the shaft.

“Looks like you’re ready for me,” you say against his skin.

You rise to your feet and return to sitting on the bed, watching your boyfriend expectantly. Taehyun settling between your legs once again, sucking in a breath when the head of his cock bumps against your pussy.

He sighs contentedly as he pushes the tip into you.

“Remember, just the tip. If you go past that, I won’t let you finish.”

“Y-Yes, mommy,” he whispers. He thrusts into you carefully, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as he monitors his movements, watching the rounded tip of his cock slide in and out of your pussy. One of his hands rests on your hip to steady himself while the other is wrapped around his cock, making sure he fucks into you with precision.

You watch his reddened tip slip in and out of your pussy. This isn’t enough for him, you know it isn’t. His laser focus on his movements, his tightly knit brow, and the sweat making his hair stick to his forehead say it all.

“Fuck…” he whispers, muscles in his thighs twitching. “Need you, mommy. I need you so badly…”

“Just a little longer, baby. I’ll tell you when.”

He swallows back a whine and continues to rut into you, his tip continuing to leak precum. His thrusts start to get sloppy and his voice gets whinier with every shallow push of his hips.

The sensation is good but it’s not enough. You’re starting to feel the same way, wishing he would be bad and stuff you with his cock already, but your Taehyunie is too much of a good boy to do that.

So, you drag it out for as long as you can take, almost hypnotized by the sight of his tip disappearing in and out of you.

“I… I can’t,” Taehyun whimpers meekly. “I can’t, I need more…”

You cup his cheek with your hand and he gives you a tired smile. How could you possibly not give him everything he wants when he looks at you like that?

“Such a good boy,” you coo, then kiss his cheek. “Think you can handle being inside?”

You swear you can see your boyfriend’s ears perk up in the mere mention of being inside. He nods fervently, eyes sparkling. You lean back and slowly spread your legs a little wider, watching Taehyun’s look upon your form with glittering eyes. Calloused hands grab the soft flesh of your hips and he doesn’t hesitate to push himself further inside until he bottoms out, burying his face in the crook of your neck and biting your shoulder to suppress his moans.

“Feel good, honey?” you ask, stroking his hair.

“Mhm, s-so good…” he says, slowly rutting in and out of you. “Is Taehyunie making you feel good too?”

“Yes, Taehyunie makes mommy feel so good,” you sigh. “Go a little faster for me.”

Taehyun obliges, speeding up the pace of his thrusts. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper into you. His speed is downright animalistic, fast and rough as he pistons in and out of you. Your nails dig into his back, leaving crescents behind.

“Mm, g-gonna cum, mommy,” he mumbles into your shoulder as he pistons into you, the bed frame creaking in rhythm with his thrusts.

“Baby’s gonna cum?” you coo. “Come on, baby, you can do it. Cum inside mommy, put a baby in me…”

That’s all it takes for Taehyun to cum deep inside you, his hips pressed against yours as he fucks his cum into you. You grind against him, feeling thick ropes of cum paint your insides. Taehyun goes limp against you and you hold him close.

“You did so well, baby,” you kiss his forehead and run your hand through his hair. “Now get on your knees and clean it up.”

You watch Taehyun as sink to his knees and he maintains eye contact until he’s finally eye level with your pussy. He uses his fingers to spread your pussy lips apart, watching you twitch as his cum oozes our of your throbbing hole. Taehyun moans as he sloppily laps at your pussy.

You tug on his hair and he looks up at you with glassy, half lidded eyes as he continues to lick you clean.

“Look at you, so desperate for mommy’s pussy that you’re eating your cum right out of me. Do I taste good, baby?”

“So good,” Taehyun moans against your skin.

“Mhm, we taste so good together, don’t we baby?”

Taehyun moans in agreement as he continues to lap at you, his tongue sliding against your folds. Once he’s cleaned you up sufficiently, he sucks at your clit and gives it a small kiss.

“Good boy,” you ruffle Taehyun’s hair and you can feel him smile against you. “Come lay with mommy.”

You lay back onto the bed and Taehyun crawls into bed with you, slotting into your arms like he’s meant to be there. You shut your eyes and hum as your boyfriend slides down to bury his face in your ample chest.

“Wish I could really put a baby in you, mommy…” Taehyun mumbles against your skin. “That way I could lay like this and drink mommy’s milk all the time…”

“Oh, is that what you want? You wanna drink mommy’s milk, baby?”

Taehyun nods and yawns, “Mhm, wanna see mommy’s tits full of milk.”

He takes your nipple into his mouth, sucking lightly as you run your fingers through his hair. The sound of the crashing ocean waves and the hum of the music from downstairs is so relaxing that you find yourself drifting to sleep.

Nothing fills your heart more than falling asleep with your baby in your arms.

[a-998h]

I wonder how the Battle Tendency crew would react to a friendly Himbo! Pillar Man! male reader who was the only survivor and last of his kind? No one, not even reader, knows how he survived. But, he somehow did. He's usually happy all the time and sometimes jokes about his trauma but he can get serious if needed. He wants revenge against Kars for killing his family.

Reader after telling his tragic backstory: Isn't that crazy? 😄

Caesar, straight up flabbergasted and mortified: Wha- I- How the hell are you even alive?

Reader: I have no idea! 😃

Lisa Lisa: Have you heard of someone called Kars?

Reader: Kars? *face goes dark while he poses dramatically in true Pillar Man fashion* I have not heard that cursed name in years.....

I love this idea. Himbo reader is best reader.

Joseph and Speedwagon were still trying to cope with everything that just happened, beating Sanvento, the pillar men's connection to the stone masks, and the death of Von Stroheim. They returned to New York and reunited with Erina, before heading to Italy.

He befriends Ceaser, meets his mentor Lisa Lisa, and begins hamon training. Things are going great, but of course life has to throw a massive wrench in the way in the form of a another pillar man.

Your stony body was quite the shock for Suzi Q to find, she ran and reported it to Lisa Lisa. You were stared at, everyone worried. If you awakened, you could kill them all. But, something compelled them to drag you to a shaded area where you awakened. They were on guard, but you didn't attack, instead you freaked out and raised your hands in surrender.

"I come in peace humans!" You exclaim.

They don't believe you, they think you're going to attack the second they turn their backs. Lisa Lisa activities her hamon, and you smile?

"Wait, members of the hamon yribe survived?!" You ask in shock, not angry but happy, like an excited puppy.

The group looks confused and have you explain yourself.

Caesar, straight up flabbergasted and mortified: Wha- I- How the hell are you even alive?

Reader: I have no idea!

Lisa Lisa: Have you heard of someone called Kars?

Reader: Kars? *face goes dark while he poses dramatically in true Pillar Man fashion* I have not heard that cursed name in years.....

They ask you to explain.

" Kars attacked, me and my people, we fought against him. I ended up being stabbed after he slaughtered them, I had attacked with more vigor but I still got injured. I remained entombed for centuries until I met you all, Isn't that crazy?" You explained.

"Final question, are you with us, or against us?" Joseph asks.

"With you all the way, friends!" You declare.

Lisa Lisa

Pleasantly surprised by you friendly demeanor

Glad you're not planning to kill them

She feels kind of bad for you

You both bond over losing loved ones

When she sees you act dumb... she is so confused

You are an ancient powerful being that could kill them all, but you stand out in the rain not moving

She doesn't know who's more ditzy, you or Suzi Q

She finds some of you antics funny

Catches you traning at night, is proud of you for trying to get better

Has a list of things you can do and touch in her house... it's a small list

Doesn't laugh at you or mocks you

Thinks your heart makes up for you lack of brain power

Tries to act as a therapist for you and your trauma

Is kind of like a mom to you

Lisa Lisa: Reader when did you eat today?

Reader: *bright smile* Last week!

Lisa Lisa: *facepalms* Dear, let's get you breakfast.

Reader: ok 😁

^ these kind of interactions are daily

She ruffles your hair and laughs with you

She gets a little nervous when you start ripping into Kars

Wonders where the soft kind Pillar Man she loves went

Teaches you how to act in the world

Joseph Joestar

You're his new best friend

You two are a Josuke and Okuyasu type duo

He enjoys your friendliness

Thankful you were not planning to kill them

Is a little worried about you

When you joke about your trauma... he doesn't laugh

Wants to help you

Asks you about your family to make you feel better

Is willing to spar with you in the middle of the night... sometimes

Teaches you how to adapt to the modern world

Teaches you a few things he knows

Feels bad that you lost everything to Kars

Whenever you do something dumb, he questions how you survived centuries

Calls you "Love" and "Handsome" but you don't understand the flirting

Is annoyed with how dense you are

"You're as dense as the rock you were trapped in!" Becomes a common phrase he uses with you

You two are peas in a pod

Ceaser Zeppeli

He doesn't trust you

You're something that could kill them all, so he doesn't trust you at all

It's only after he sees how dumb you that he starts to let his guard down, only a little

Your "coping skills" makes him a bit worried

Tries to keep his distance but your friendly nature draws him in

Once he trusts you, he tries to be the older brother to you

Also teaches you things about the world

Is horrified by your story, and the way you joke about it

It takes him a bit to realize your jokes are your "coping skills"

He is proud of your warrior spirit

Wishes he could spar without one of you getting hurt

"Sei un idiota!" This something he commonly says to you whenever you've done something dumb

He calls you "second Joseph"

Tries to help you cope in a proper way

Is now a friend of yours

Feels your hate for Kars and wants to help you get revenge

[houndofsevenhells]

“The Hound That Lies” (Sandor Clegane x Original Female Character)

SUMMARY — The hour of the wolf comes and a certain chambermaid still cannot fall asleep. She goes out for a walk to cure her insomnia and runs into none other than the Hound. Drunken confessions and deep introspection ensue.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — This is the "Upstairs, Downstairs" of the Red Keep that nobody asked for. Told from the perspective of another person, but very Sandor-centric. It's mostly written due to my deep adoration for him as a character. English is not my first language so if you spot any mistakes that is my fault alone.

WORD COUNT — 5,032

Masterlist

My days as a palace servant in King’s Landing started before dawn and stretched late into the night, sometimes well past the hour of the bat. The servants of the royal palace all had their place and duties and nobody stepped one toe out of line; not unless they wanted to be subject to strict punishments–or a fate even worse than that.

The royal household of king Robert Baratheon, first of his name, consisted of the usual army of servants. Aside from us, the household staff included the royal guard, the captains, the marshals, the grooms, the pages, and the Kingsguard. Those, however, stayed in the barracks and in their own palace quarters. Truth be told, we rarely saw them at all.

The army I belonged to was an army of another quality, though those in charge of it still drilled and ruled their subordinates in a way no lesser than the most sadistic of the captains. 

The first layer of those closest to the king, and therefore to gods themselves, were the seneschals, the chaplains, the stewards, the cupbearers, and the chamberlains. Then there were the wardrobe masters and the raiment mistresses, who ruled the realms of the royal garments. Under them was the head maid, who held her own regiment of nearly a hundred chambermaids that scrubbed floors, mended clothes, stripped the beds of the dirty sheets, delivered sheets and clothing to and from the laundresses, and did everything else under the sun expected of the servants of the highest quality and the lowest breeding.

The kitchen staff I knew very little of and they equally knew very little of us, the waiting staff, but we all uniformly hated the lady’s maids. They were the nobility of the servants and rarely deigned to acknowledge us, the chambermaids, for anything more than lowly serfs.

Ever since I came to King’s Landing, there was hardly any disturbance in my daily routine. As the servants we had very little money and very little spare time to spend it. Most of us lived in the servants’ quarters in the lowest parts of the keep–those that had their own families and lived in the city were considered lucky.

Most nights, if I could allow myself the luxury, I tried to fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. But that night, the night when I met Sandor Clegane, sleep just would not come to me. I tossed and turned until the hour of the wolf, when finally I was too fed up with myself and I went outside to the palace gardens to take a walk. 

Most of the time, even the foulest of guards would leave us serving girls well enough alone, but still I took a sharp dagger with me and hid it beneath my skirts. As I wandered the gardens alone, I tried to be as silent as possible. Taking in the air as a cure was one thing, but being an airhead would be another. And I have lived too long to allow myself to be stupid.

“Walkin’ around at night, girl? Are ya that reckless or that stupid?” A gruff voice startled me and when I turned around, a half-burned face of Sandor Clegane was right there before me, looking down on me with a sneer. 

I swallowed hard and my hand went straight to the hilt of my dagger. I felt it underneath the fingertips and it made me feel marginally safer. But the man in front of me was huge, at least two feet taller than me; his presence dark and frightful.

“Oh,” I said, trying to make my voice sound normal. “It’s just you.”

“Just me?” He scoffed and took one step closer. The smell of wine immediately hit my nose. He had a bottle with him and now paused to take a swig from it. “Now, I ain’t arguably the worst you can meet in those gardens at night, girl, but what in seven hells do ya mean by ‘just’?”

“I meant…”

“Hm?”

I took a deep breath and forced myself to look him right in the eye. The Hound and his menacing presence in the keep were just one of those things that one had to get used to while working for the royal family. The Baratheons and the Lannisters were united as one family now and all of us had to get used to the change of regime. 

Not that serving under the Targaryens and the Mad King had been such a privilege. 

But the fact of the matter was, I have served under the Mad King’s rule and survived. I was not about to let a Lannister dog push me around.

“Nothing. What are you doing here?” I asked.

Clegane scoffed again and for a second I thought he would try to hurt me, but then I noticed he was swaying a little and I exhaled. Most of the household staff knew that a drunk Sandor Clegane was much less menacing than a sober one. And because Clegane was never sober, usually he would release his anger in the training yard–not on the serving girls. Which was still more than what could be said about the noble Kingsguard.

“Same as you,” Clegane grumbled. “Can’t sleep. Too much to drink, too many voices, too many memories.” He looked away from me then and I thought that would be the end of our conversation, but it would seem we must have found each other on one of his chattier nights. “You get nightmares, girl?” he asked, his attention back to me.

“I do,” I replied before I could help myself. 

But that was why I was there, wasn’t it? I doubted he would remember that conversation the next day, let alone in an hour, so I decided to talk to him a little. Maybe we would bore each other to tears and then I would finally fall asleep.

“What kind?” he asked.

“What?”

“The nightmares.”

“Oh,” I sighed, “Most nights I just lay awake, full of fear, before the nightmares even happen. So most nights I just take a walk instead.”

“Does it help?”

“No.”

He laughed at that, if his particular kind of bark could even be called a laughter, and nodded as if he knew exactly what I was talking about.

“So you go out and you find me here.” He looked at me more closely and leaned forward. I did my best not to cower before him. It was not his face that frightened me. It was the height and the sheer bulk of the man that did it. Even dressed in a lighter dark surcoat instead of his usual heavy armour, Clegane could strike fear into the hearts of men with little effort.

“What do your nightmares tell you, girl?” Clegane asked and I frowned at the forwardness. 

“I do not wish to say,” I muttered. “I do not know you.”

What I meant was, I did not trust him at all. Just like the Grand Maester, Clegane was a Lannister creature. It was known. After what the palace household had lived through during the sack of King’s Landing, I would never trust a Lannister with anything.

“But that is my point, isn’t it?” Clegane took a long drink from his bottle. “You don’t know me. I don’t know you. So. You can tell me anything. You have a secret,” he pointed to me, “I have a secret.” He touched his own chest, swaying a bit once more. “I won’t tell another soul, but I know you won’t, ‘cause I’ve seen you here before, girl. No one who’s lived in this bloody place half as long as you have could survive by spilling secrets.” His half-burned lips twisted in a mockery of a smile. “Or am I wrong?”

I thought about what he said and then I thought about what I saw after the sack. I only survived because I was small enough to hide in the cupboard in the pantry where the head maid stored the cleaning supplies. “Mouse” is what some of the other chambermaids called me, because I would scutter from place to place, always quick and always silent. Being a mouse had saved me that day. Mostly it saved me from the Mountain That Rides and his men.

But Sandor Clegane was not his brother, this much I knew. Just like the current king was not his horrible son. Most household staff avoided both, if they could help it–the crown prince and his horrible shadow were always together, but if you looked closely, you learned quickly that they couldn’t be further apart. I have never seen the younger Clegane hurt or kill a girl, but I have scrubbed the floors in the royal apartments where the Mountain did the unspeakable to the poor Princess Elia.

“You are not wrong,” I admitted. “I think… It sounds about right.” 

I was grateful that the gardens were shrouded in darkness, because the memories of that day brought tears to my eyes that were now threatening to spill.

“So spit it out.” Somehow, Clegane’s voice made it easier to control myself. “Do ya want to sit?” 

He walked past me then, quickly and remarkably quietly for a man of his size. He sat down on the grass and I followed his lead. 

“The night is dark, girl. No one will see you, no one will see me, no one will hear us.”

My blood ran cold then and I scolded myself for being so foolish. Was he…?

My hand went back to my dagger. I looked at his neck, then to his armpit.

It must have shown in my face, what I was thinking of, because he sneered again and took another swig of his wine, before adding:

“I meant for a conversation, fuck’s sake. If I wanted to, I could’ve killed you ages ago. Why would I bother now?” He paused. “Oh. It ain’t the killin’ you’re thinkin’ of. No, I don’t do that either, girl. I’m no raper.”

‘Unlike my brother’ hung right there in the air above us, unsaid.

I sighed and I settled on the grass beside him. Clegane took another long drink from his bottle, then passed it to me.

“No, thank you. I must refuse.”

“You must?” He scoffed. “A proper little thing, ain’t ya…”

I pursed my lips in distaste at being called that. It felt too familiar for the chance acquaintances we were.

“I used to drink a lot,” I said, finally brave enough to make my tone as harsh as I really wanted it to sound. “But I do not, not anymore. I used to drink to hide my troubles. But the problem with drink is, your troubles remain just where you left them and they haunt you the next day.”

The Hound frowned and when he spoke next his voice was heavy with surprise, but devoid of judgement:

“You used to drink a lot?” He raised a dark brow. “I’d have never thought to picture that.”

“Why, because I’m not a soldier like you?” 

I knew better than to call that man a knight, but I was tempted just to show my lack of regard for the Lannister dog.

“Nah, I suppose that doesn’t matter.” He looked away then. “So what stupid things did you do to finally make you shake the habit?”

I was surprised by the question; by the suggestion of kinship between us. But I realised there was one, whether I liked it or not.

“My mother,” I hesitated, and the Hound’s dark eyes were on me again. “My mother was a mean drunk. But when she did not drink, she was even meaner.”

Clegane looked at me then and I saw a glint of recognition in those dark, angry eyes. But then, the hour of the wolf was the darkest part of the night. I might have been mistaken.

“‘D ya fuck any strangers?”

“Not enough wine in this keep to make me fuck you, if that’s what you’re after.”

He let out a laugh. The hoarse sound of it was grating like a crunch of broken glass.

“Yeah, that ain’t what I’m after, don’t flatter yourself.”

“Well, I am glad to hear we understand each other.”

“That what you were looking for when drinking, little one? Understanding?”

“Sometimes.” I sighed. “Sometimes I drank just to feel something. You know how it is. Everyone is drunk in a tavern, everyone pretends to be each other’s friend. But that isn’t so. Strangers are not your friends, they could not be farther from it.”

“Aye, they care about nothin’ and no one other than themselves.” The Hound nodded. “Drink and pleasure, little one. That’s what the world is to ya when you ain’t careful.” He took another swig from the bottle. The smell of wine hit me again and I turned my head away. 

“And you said awful things, too, did ya?” he asked.

“Hateful things,” I whispered. “That is why I stopped. It did me no good.”

“Hateful things…” The big man rolled the words on his tongue like he was curious. “Pretty little thing like you, eh?”

“Pretty things can still be poison.”

He smirked darkly at that.

“Yes, they can. You have the truth of it, girl.” 

He was silent for a while and I turned my head towards him to check if he was still there. He was. He was looking at the guard standing beside the closest entry to the garden. The guard looked young and utterly exhausted. He swayed from time to time and Clegane seemed very amused by that.

“Yeah, usually it’s knights and us soldiers drinkin’ to forget.” He pointed at the guard. “Like him there. The men that drink too much and go around lookin’ for fights. We drink our cheap wine and our ale and then we go around lookin’ for nothin’ but trouble. Sometimes fightin’ people we’re not supposed to. Sometimes… Other things.” He took another swig.

“Sometimes I would even lay with strangers to feel better. To feel something.” 

I did not know why I said that, but that got me his attention, so I decided to throw caution to the wind and say it all:

“To feel something other than my feelings. Other than dread and sadness. But that did not happen. In the morning, my nightmares were still present.”

“I understand,” he replied and it was my turn to be shocked. “Wantin’ to feel the warmth of someone’s touch.” He said that so bitterly that I almost felt the bile in my own throat. But there was sympathy in his voice, even though it was hard to read his face, half-covered with the burn scars.

“Aye, someone to take away your pain, even if for a night.”

“Yes,” I said, surprised. “That… That was it. How…?” But then I hesitated. Of course he would understand what that was like. He wore the worst thing that had happened to him right out there on his face. There was no hiding from it, no covering it. He had to wear it every day and live with others looking upon it always. 

I felt like a fool for even asking, but the question hung there in the open. Finally, Clegane spoke:

“I know it. You thought someone would care about you, keep you warm, but in the end they never did. Did they?”

“No.” This time my answer came easier. “They never did.”

“Aye, nobody cares about people like us, little one. We are the servants. We’re here to serve.” He chuckled darkly and pushed the empty bottle away. “People don’t care a lick for ya, only for what you can give them. And when you give it… Well, then you’re no better than those slaves in Essos.”

“Is that how it feels for you?”

He turned to me so quickly that I flinched and for a second I was afraid he would attack me. But all he did was look into my own eyes; long and intently. His eyes were ones that must have seen much, but mine own had turned hard over the years, too. They no longer belonged to the girl who came to King’s Landing with songs in her head.

“Yeah.” Finally, he leaned back. “What of your family? Do they care so little about you?”

I was not always a palace maid and I had not always worked in a household as grand as the royal palace. I was born as a Rivers, in a poor hovel in the Riverlands; a ghastly place north of another village that most likely no longer existed. My mother was a drunkard, a local busty tavern wench, and due to her reputation I also had two older half-sisters. They despised me as much as I despised them.

Scrubbing floors and mending clothes had been my daily bread since the moment I could walk and take care of my own needs–that was the day I finally became useful. That usefulness took me out of that gods’ forsaken village, until little by little I travelled from the Riverlands to the Crownlands, moved from house to house in search of my own destiny, and from dusk till dawn I scrubbed and cleaned the nobles’ messes. From a lowly laundry maid at the age of seven, I worked my way up on my hands and knees, until the skin of my hands perpetually blistered and cracked from soap and lye.

“No,” I replied, my tone harsher. “There is no one.”

The Hound still looked at me like he was trying to read my face for lies. But there were none. I had no reason to lie to him. I told myself once more that he would not remember we ever had this conversation come morning.

“I have no family either,” he said grimly. “No family to speak of.”

I knew the Mountain was not dead, otherwise we all at the palace would have heard of it long ago. To now hear the admission from Clegane’s own mouth that the brothers despised each other was striking. 

“So no one cares whether we live or die,” I concluded. “I imagine that is why we accept whatever people give us. It is either that, or…” I think on it. “That, or the emptiness.”

“Aye.” His voice was softer now. “But people do bad things all the time. It ain’t the end of the fuckin’ world. Not even the end of your life. So you’re still allowed to want things.”

I frowned, trying to piece together the confusing shreds of that thought. The wine must have finally run to his head.

“Are you saying even monsters deserve to be loved?”

He laughed darkly and there was little joy in that bitter sound.

“Aye, little one. Mayhaps you are a bad person, I don’t know ya. But all of us are, in a way.”

The truths he gave me struck something within me. 

“By the gods, you are honest.” I sigh. 

“I’m a lot of things, girl. Honest, for all my faults, is one of them.” He paused briefly. “A hound will die for you, but never lie to you. And he'll look you straight in the face.”

We sat in silence a while, but then the big man had more questions for me:

“Don’t you ever have any desire to drink again? There must be a time when you think to yourself, just one, just to forget, just to numb the pain, just for tonight?”

I considered that. Then decided to remain truthful:

“Yes. I do sometimes, yes. But then I remember how miserable wine made me feel the next day and how much pain it caused me. And how much shame it brought me. The things I did… Remembering helped me not to drink again.”

I looked up and there was a strange, wistful look in Clegane’s eyes, as though he were remembering something.

“But it did feel good while it lasted, did it not? At least, for a time, you had no aches, no hurts, you did not feel. You could forget your pain for a while, did that not feel good?”

“Ah,” I smiled sadly. “But that is why the drink is so treacherous.”

“Aye,” he agreed with a smirk. “A cruel mistress.”

I nodded. 

“But it did make me forget,” I admitted. “Then I felt ashamed I forgot. And then it ruined me and I had let it, gladly. But in the moment, when you drink, yes, that is true. You forget the bad things. That does feel good. It is a perfect poison for those in pain and misery.”

I realised then that it was the sense of no judgement I was getting from conversing with the Hound that really drew me into this talk. He did not judge and he repaid me with honesty. That was so much more to offer than the monstrous kinds of misplaced affection I had found in King’s Landing over the years.

“Is it too much to ask that you tell me your name, girl?” 

The way he asked seemed like a taunt, but there was a strange tenderness in that scarred face that made me feel at ease, even as his dark eyes studied me so intently.

“Laina Rivers.”

“Laina Rivers.” He seemed amused by that, a faint smile playing on his scarred lips. “A pretty name for a bastard.”

I gave him a sharp look.

“There is a sad irony in that,” he said, obviously not afraid of my silent threats in the slightest.

He smiled and there was no humour in that half smile, but the anger in him had settled at least.

“So who was your father?” he asked. “What great lord fathered you and left you in the world to fend for yourself?”

“I do not know.” I stumbled through my words a little, because his bluntness struck me once more. “But I hate him sometimes. For doing so.”

The Hound nodded and then the anger resurfaced in the unburnt half of his face. The other still showed nothing. But there was another layer to his anger now; as though there was just a touch of sadness underneath it.

“You never sought after him? You don’t even know who he is?”

“No.” I shook my head. “My mother told me very little. And she was always angry when I asked. So I stopped asking. I was a skittish child, always desperate for her to love me. I wanted to please her, to be a good daughter. Especially since I had two sisters to compete with.”

“And did it work?” He sneered. “Did your mother love you?”

“Not the way I wanted her to,” I replied, my voice barely louder than a whisper. What was that strange power he possessed that made me want to confess to him so easily?

“She loved me in her own way, I believe. But she was not kind. I think she despised having bastard daughters, despised us for being bastards. Even though that was not our fault.”

“No, it is not your fault,” he agreed and hearing that almost brought the tears back to my eyes. 

There was sadness in his voice, I could hear it for true. The masks were starting to come off.

“It is never the fault of the child,” he continued. “Yet they have to suffer. That just shows how this fuckin’ world is, ain’t it?”

I remained silent, but he still expected me to say something. And I was too interested in the conversation to leave now.

“What about your own parents? Did they love you?”

For a long moment, Clegane remained silent, as though he wanted to give me a different answer; considered it, to avoid giving the real one. But it did not seem like his heart was in it. Finally, he spoke, with some hesitation:

“No, my father did not love me. And my mother, well – I do not know if she hated me, loved me, or just did not bother to see that I existed at all.”

It was so hard to hear that I could not speak for a long while. 

“When did you get these scars?” I asked carefully.

“I was seven.”

He knew I knew then, or at least that I suspected, and now had my suspicions confirmed. I straightened my back and he waited for me to say something, but I would not. I would not intentionally harm him with my words now, I refused. Even if he was a Lannister creature.

“But you are true-born, are you not?” I said instead, frowning, and tried to reconcile what he said with my own conviction. 

His laugh was like snarling dogs in a pit.

“That does not guarantee a parent’s love, little one. My father was a lord, you know. And a cruel, bitter man.”

That was not the moment to remark on his own bitterness and so I held my tongue.

“No, I suppose being a lord’s son does not guarantee it,” I muttered. “But for the longest time I thought… I thought that if only I had a real name, if I was true-born then maybe my mother would be kinder. Maybe she–”

“No, if she cared, she would have loved you no matter what.” The Hound sighed. My mouth nearly gaped at that answer. 

“There are many bastards who are not high-born and who still have good parents,” he said. “It is not about your name or birthright. It is about whether there is hatred in a person’s heart. And by your account, your mother did not have much love in hers.”

I sat there in shock at the profound truth that came from this man’s mouth. 

“I misjudged you,” I admitted and immediately felt my face grow hot with embarrassment.

“Aye.” The corner of his mouth twitched. “I am used to it.”

“But,” I said, “that is also why I left the Riverlands. I went from place to place, finding work and getting good at being a maid. I was looking for something to replace that love. And when I came to King’s Landing… Well, now I work in the palace.” I laughed bitterly. “A lot of fucking good it got me.”

He laughed then with me, a deep and harsh guffaw.

“Aye, King’s Landing. The place where every man and woman goes when they think their talents would amount to something. So many people lie and die in this stinking hell, so many more become lordlings and queens and kings… Aye, they all think they’re something special. Something more.” He pauses and looks at me with a mixture of bitterness and amusement. “Did you fall for their lies, too?”

“I did.” I nodded. I felt ashamed for having been so naive.

“You are not alone,” he said, almost like he was mocking both of us. “This place chews people up and spits them out like they are nothing. It’s the worst of men, the biggest of fools, the lowest of scum that the Seven Kingdoms have to offer. All gathered here for the pleasure of the royals.”

I wondered then how come he was not afraid to say what he thought; why did he said it so openly. All my life I had obeyed every rule and strict guidance of my superiors. I received a lashing once and I still bore the scars of it on my back. I vowed never to let my tongue waggle ever again.

Any palace chambermaid found gossiping, or behaving in a way unbecoming of a decent lady, would be punished–or worse, thrown out and left without income, forced to leave His Grace’s employment with a stained reputation and no way to fend for herself. 

So I decided to ask:

“How is it that you are not afraid to just speak your mind? This place is crawling with whisperers. Don’t you have a lord or a master that would punish you for speaking so?”

The Hound smiled, almost as though he was amused at the thought.

“Why should I be afraid? They are all afraid of me.” He shrugged. “Who cares what these nobles think? The people who know me already know I speak my mind, and the ones who don’t have heard stories. And as for my master, I have none. I have no one to answer to besides the king, and he doesn’t care a lick about the likes of me.”

“I think I have heard the stories,” I admit.

“Aye. A famous man, me.” He leaned towards me, his voice hard again. “You know why they call me the Hound?”

I shook my head, though my eyes went to his chest where the sigil of his house was plain as day on his surcoat – three black snarling dogs on a yellow field.

“It is because I hunt down their prey for them. Anyone they ask me to, I ride them down. Criminals, traitors, even children… I have cut down many in my life and only some of them were monsters.”

We were silent then, until he spoke again:

“Many different names they call me, but I mislike that one the most.”

“I understand.”

“Do you now?”

“I do. Of course I do. A hound is a dog used for hunting and it is an animal, not a person. The man sitting here with me is just that, a man. Not a dog.” 

He is rendered speechless after that and we look at each other for the longest moment.

“How old are you, girl?”

“Why do you ask?”

“You speak with the knowledge of someone older, yet you are small and slight and so I wonder…” He reached towards me and I forced myself to stay in place. For some reason, I knew he would not harm me.

Clegane touched my shoulder and it was as if to check that I was real.

“I am old enough,” I said, slightly amused. “And I hope to talk to you again sometime. But it will dawn soon and I must go back to my duties.”

“Aye.” Clegane smiled at that and I smiled back. “Fare-thee-well, Laina Rivers.”

“Fare-you-well, Sandor Clegane.”

[tiredmetalenthusiast]

To Start Anew (TF141xLATA!Reader) Ch.2

Part 2 coming up hot! Here our lovely reader finally meets the guys!

Warnings: Language

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The alarm goes off at 5:30am and you’re thankful that you remembered to pack all your new clothes the week before. As you rushed to do your routine, put on nice makeup, a nice set of lingerie and one of the new dresses you bought just for the trip. A black, knee length little summer dress paired with some strappy, chunky heels.

A whistle comes from behind you and your mom, dad, and sister are standing there, soft smiles on their faces. “Honestly that guy is a fuckin idiot. Giving up my hot sister to go do god knows what.” You laughed at your sister’s comment and sighed. “Think you dodged a bullet on this one honey. Always gave off that kinda flakey vibe.” You nodded and gave them a hug. “Thanks dad. Think I dodged a bullet too.”

Your mom perks up and checks the time. “Well let’s get you to the airport then. Don’t want you to be late for your flight!” Your dad helps you with your bags as your mom leads the way to the car, your sister talking your ear off about the trip and to send lots of pics and videos and to have fun.

Luckily when you arrived it was only 6am and the line to get through security was short enough it only took you 20 minutes to get through. You made your way to the assigned gate for your plane and made yourself comfy as you waited.

It was about 15 minutes later when a group of four men came into the area, discussing something but honestly you were immersed in your podcast and couldn’t exactly hear them. That was until one of them, a handsome man with a British accent, pointed at you and approached. He was dressed in dark jeans and a gray t-shirt, showing off defined, strong looking arms, dark skin glowing in the early morning sun.

”Sorry to disturb you ma’am, but is this the gate for flight 5138 to Italy? They changed us at the last second and my boss is pretty sure we're in the right area.” You look at his ticket and then your own. “Uhm yeah looks like it! Hate when things change last minute.” The man nods, beautiful chocolate brown eyes shining. “Thank you miss…?”

You flush, extending your hand and giving your name. He takes it and kisses your hand, “A pleasure. Thank you again.” He walks back to his group and you stare at your hand for a moment before going back to listening to your podcast. You notice them all gather around closer and sit across from each other and a seat away from you. They talk amongst themselves before the oldest, who you assume is their boss, pulls his beanie over his eyes and leans back for a nap.

The one that asked you about the gate earlier sits next to you and pulls out his phone to play some game. The other two, one with a skull face mask and the other with a Mohawk talk amongst themselves. You hit an interesting point in the podcast you’re listening to, as the narrator retells a scary experience story someone sent in. Under your breath you unconsciously mutter out a ‘Oh my fuckin god why? Wouldn’t have let the spooky batch in my house to begin with.’ Drawing their attention to you.

”Aye, letting spooky bitches into your home would nae be the smartest move.” You glance at the Mohawk guy and apologize. “Ah sorry I didn’t think I’d said out loud.” He shakes his head and laughs. “Nah don’t be. What’s so spooky anyway?” You show him the podcast on your phone, him and the masked guy looking and nodding. “The woman likes scary stories. Got any recommendations?” The masked one speaks and his voice is gravel, you absolutely love it.

”Well this one is pretty good. Active too, about 400+ stories with some of them compilations.” You give him the name of it and he searches it up, popping a headphone in and scanning the area. The Scottsman brings your attention back to him, more interested in having someone to talk to. “What are ye headin to Italy for? Family? Friends?” You hesitate. You don’t know these men and having four strange, and extremely handsome, men knowing you’re by yourself seems like a bad idea.

”Uh, Honeymoon for one.” His face drops and his frown surprises you. “That a thing? Did nae ken you could have one a those.” Beanie guy chimes in, “That’s not a thing Johnny. Quit bothering the poor lady.” “Aye Cap, just makin friendly convo with Bonnie.” Chocolate eyes smirks and leans in, “If he’s bothering you we can muzzle him for ya.” You giggle and shake your head. “No no, he’s fine.” “So what’s the reason fer the solo honeymoon if ye dinna mind me askin?”

You look at him for a solid minute before replying. “You don’t gotta answer him. You don’t know us, you’re not inclined to share.” You nod, but politely give them your name. Beanie guy introduces himself as John, mask dude says his name is Simon, Mohawk is John but says you can call him Johnny, and chocolate eyes says his name is Kyle, you make a face before furiously apologizing. You slap your hands over your face, trying not to ruin your makeup. “Oh my fucking god that was so rude! I’m so sorry.”

”Gave ‘er the ick and all you did was give the poor girl your name Garrick. That’s a new one.” “No no I’m sorry. My ex fiancé’s name was Kyle. Stupid asshole literally left me at the altar yesterday. Hence why I’m on this solo honeymoon. His parents spent the money and they didn’t want to let it go to waste.” The men stare at you in shock, taking in your outfit, the nice makeup. “”What fuckin muppet. Was he cheating?”

You shake your head. “His best man is an absolute madman with any kind of tech and went through all of this socials and electronics, even the phone records. Didn’t find anything.” The men nod and hum. “So what are you guys heading to Italy for? Business? Overdue vacation?” “Something like that.” John says. “On leave for now.” “Military?” They nod, “What’s that like?” “Fuckin exhaustin. Wish the bad guys would take some fuckin vacations honestly.”

After that you five spend time talking until they begin boarding the plane, the stewards sending everyone to their own first class areas. You order a Jack and coke and settle in for the long flight.

Tags!: @cumikering @devcica

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

Maybe some y! Charlie? :3c

And a pinch of Rat Poison!

TW: poisoning, talks of suicide, and douchebag thoughts of....John.

Charlie smiled at the neighbor that always flirted with Casper, who made it VERY clear they didn't like it. Said neighbor was named, John McCain age 32 divorced because he cheated on his wife.

He has three kids who are in their teens and hate him, Charlie doesn't blame them. This asshole is the worst, always cat calling women that pass by and calling Charlie a sissy for not wanting to 'man up' to see who Casper should really be with.

Casper almost went over to bash the older man's skull in multiple times. But Charlie told them to let him dig a deeper hole, and what did John do? Dug way too fucking deep of a hole to claw his way out. What broke the cables back for everyone was him slapping Casper at a block party for turning him down loudly.

"I would rather slit my fucking throat than be with you? Can you not FUCKING SEE THAT IM HAPPY WITH CHARLIE?" Screaming in rage Casper caught everyone attention. Children paused their games as they looked at the two adults in the middle of the party staring each other down.

"Honey, listen let's not make a big dea-" Silky words trying to smooth this over were interrupted. Why? By Casper throwing their drink in his face and flipping him off.

"GO AWAY YOU FUCKING SHITTY ASS MOTHERFUCKER THAT DESERVES TO DIE!" Everyone, not loudly, agreed with the beloved neighbor's words. They all hated him but was civil to him because Charlie asked. The blonde said he wanted to give him a chance to be better, but really he was using this to seem like a saint to everyone.

Suddenly there was a crack and Casper was holding their nose cursing up a storm. Charlie who was by them grabbed a bottle and smashed it over John's face. The older man fell to the ground and screamed as the booze in the bottle stung his scratches.

A few guys in the party grabbed him and began pulling him away from everyone. Family's grabbed their kids to make sure they didn't interfere, and some even called the police. After that party John was shunned by the whole block, no one spoke to him and even the kids threw rocks and bricks at his place.

Using this to his advantage weeks later Charlie snuck into his house at night and waited until he woke up. The rat poison he had made him smile, after the party Casper was planning how to kill him. But Charlie spoke up saying he wanted to get ride of this vermin himself.

And what better way to do that than using the poison that would kill it slowly? Getting enough to kill a 5'10" man was easy just saying you had a lot to a clerk got you enough. Charlie put gloves on and burned the evidence of him buying it, so all he had to do was use it.

When John finally woke up he went down to his kitchen and began cooking breakfast. He mentally cursed that bitch for not letting his advances woo them. He was a fucking catch! If only his bitch of a ex wife never told everyone why he was divorced he would have taken Casper away from that sissy Charlie!

"Stupid slut probably is only playing hard to get! Bet if I got them into bed they'd roll over and let me fuck them." Smug words filled the air as he turned to the spice cabinets. Grabbing one of them he added it to his food and went to the fridge grabbing a beer to drink.

Charlie who heard all of this was clutching the knife he got from the knife drawer tightly. Oh he's going to fucking enjoy taking his life. Watching from a closet by the kitchen he smiled as John greedily ate the food he made.

After finishing both the food and beer he got up to the sink. Before he could get there he started choking on something, then the food he just ate came up his throat. Puking out basically his guts out he wheezing on the floor as he began to convulse.

Seeing this Charlie opened the closet and walked to him. The blonde made sure to conceal his identity so when the police found his shitty ugly nasty mess they couldn't find out what happened. Taking out the note he made it told how John committed suicide because everyone hated him.

How he hated the man he became after losing his ex wife. Along with other words, making sure it sounded like him Charlie cursed him and Casper in the note. Leaving the rat poison boxes on the counter he smiled thinking how Casper would love this.

"Wish I killed you a different way now....like taking out your heart and giving it to my lover. Oh they'd love that!" Giggling maniacally Charlie thought of other things he could have done. John's final moments of his life was Charlie standing over John slitting his wrists.

After finishing Charlie left to the house making sure no one saw him. Casper was there and gave him a questioning look like catching a kid in the cookie jar.

"Awe baby did you kill him? Should have let me help! I wanted to kill that fucking lowlife for giving me a broken nose!" Going to their boyfriend Casper gave him kisses, both kissed happily.

"I did sorry Cas, I just couldn't wait anymore. I made it look like suicide though!" Giving them a happy look Casper laughed at his words. The two continued their day until they heard sirens blurring up and down the block.

"Oh! The cops arrived! Hope they liked the scene I left them!" Curious Charlie with Casper went out of the house, just like everyone else. Seeing the ex wife on the side walk puking on the lawn made Charlie sad.

The case of John McCain was ruled a suicide since he did buy a lot of Rat Poison a day before this. Also with the note Charlie made left finger prints and DNA of John on it. Casper was just glad that sick fuck was dead finally now they can enjoy being with Charlie peacefully like before John moved in half a year ago.

[kaythefloppa]

Wild Kratts - Fish Out of Water Review [Spoilers]

April is finally here, and with it, three new episodes have been released on the PBS Kids Video App ahead of their release. At the time I'm posting this, it is midnight and the one hour special "Our Blue and Green World" is yet to air on televison and streaming, so I will get to that when I get to that. Given that I have already reviewed No Name Dream and Backpack the Camel, I'll give a review to this episode as well. Spoiler warning and opinions ahead under the cut

First New York, then Hawaii, and now a goddamn University on the list of areas I would never expect these guys to film. Bros are everywhere.

As someone who is about to graduate high school, I feel IMMENSELY jealous of the college students who saw the motherfucking Kratt Brothers filming an episode on campus. I can already begin to see the floods of social media posts bragging about this on Tumblr and Twitter threads.

Ok I feel bad for being a bit salty earlier, I actually think it's really sweet how these people outside of the show can share their interests and expertise in biology and physics to help children educate. The entire live-action opening where they study the locomotion of mudskippers is honestly really sweet, and we haven't even gotten to our main animal yet!

God these are such cute animals. But beyond that, the term "fish out of water" could not be a more fitting title. They have joints like we do, can adapt to different environments, and can swim and climb like we can. This is probably my favorite live action segment because of how well structured the clips and movements are and just how fun it is seeing these little blorbs move around the place.

I should talk about how it took us half a decade to see a mudskipper on the show, and 13 years overall to get a focus episode, but so far, up to a great start and definitely worth waiting (for the most part).

Oh so is it like the Hermit Crab episode where in all of the official releases they leave out the determiner but in the actual episode it's there? This has no overall bearing on the episode but I just felt the need to point it out.

I should check off on my S7 bingo card about seeing the old inventions again because holy shit it's been almost a decade since we saw the Butterflier XT

Also can anyone identify those butterflies? I know for a FACT that those motherfuckers aren't monarchs because of their patterns (the only pattern variation in butterflies is sex-linked, and while I'm aware they live in Asia, this again, does not look like a match) but they also aren't viceroys because they lack the line around their wings. I only ask this to bring up my next point.

I thought the Butterfly Disc we saw in Season 1 was specifically programmed based off of Monarch Butterflies. But as established (until proven wrong), these are not monarch butterflies. So unless Aviva retrofitted or reprogrammed the disc to be multi-familial, as in they can touch any butterfly regardless of classification and activate accordingly (like with the Crocodile, Dragonfly, and Gecko Discs), the activation should not work. I only ask this because while it seems miniscule, Chris' decision to bring out the disc is what sets off the plot - It's what causes him to loose the discs in the butterfly swarm, so I feel like, while not a critique, it's a legitimate question as to the direct programming of the discs vs. the animals used to activate.

Man, Zach wasn't even in this episode and somehow they STILL lose their discs? (Actually, I am pleasantly surprised that they didn't take the opportunity to have this be a Zach-related episode).

You think they'd put a tracker on the collection or encode a chip the actual discs so that they wouldn't get lost this easily. This again, sounds like a nitpick, but earlier seasons set up a firewall for the Creature Power Discs and a tracking device/rocket-device on the Creature Power Suits and gloves because of how frequent these types of contingiences are, so there's really no excuse for this.

(Suck my ass PBS Kids Video App, I'm still able to get high quality snips even with your bullshit formatting!!!)

They really went all out with the "other-wordly" vibe that the mudskippers' territory gave off. Once again, we waited two years for this to be put to animation and to see come air.

I've made enough jokes around these situations in the show, so I think we'd all benefit if I just changed the subject: That front-facing mudskipper is fucking hilarious.

*Martin's voice* - Slimy Skin-breathers!

Okay, but I actually did not know that. At all. Even 10 years later, this show is still teaching me new things about animals in the most beautfully unexpected ways. This is one of the many reasons I will never give up on the show.

[Unexpected angst in bagging area - Also, with the inclusion of No Name Dream, which will air two days before this episode, that brings our Krangstt quota to #2]

Okay so I really like the set-up here, and it genuinely was a surprise seeing Jimmy angst in this episode as a subplot in a series that rarely operates on A-plots and B-plots (unless you count the villains' schemes which are usually just A^2 plots) like most shows. And as someone who legitimately was going through rough times (S7 was actually one of my few reasons to keep going), I heavily related to Jimmy. So yeah, a Jimmy angst episode? Can totally buy. What I'm not gonna buy is how they execute it with the ending, because that and the implications.... yikes...

C'mon! "Mudspitter" was right there! Right there!

Ok, here is where my main problem with this episode's subplot is. If I could boil it down to one word, it would be: Incomplete. Jimmy feeling inadequate based on an observation he made is one thing. Him immediately leaving afterwards on a whim moments after said observation is completely another and doesn't align that well.

Like, this would only work if Jimmy had attempted to be a fish "IN" water. If he tried to help Aviva and Koki with the data-research and inventing, but he failed, and they politely turned him down. Or if there was any basis as to why he suddenly disregards his piloting skills or teleporting, whether he doesn't care or doesn't think them to be enough for him to fit in. Like, he wants to be in on the action because some part of him doesn't feel like sitting around by the teleporter is enough. What I'm saying is, there is no pathos. I personally find it to be relatable, but on a narrative level, it doesn't work. I know the "character feeling left out so they leave" thing is cliche'd, but there's a reason it's a cliche, and that's because it follows a lot of writing beats that this particular episode doesn't, so on top of being cliche'd as fuck to begin with, it feels very awkward. And this is going to be apparent both here and in this episode's climax (which I also do not have many kind words for,) so I had to use my allotted time to talk about why this doesn't work.

Could... could they not call him on his Creaturepod? Could the brothers not call him on his Pod? Did he even have his Creaturepod?? Again, there are so many plot-holes in this B-story that could've easily been written around with a change of dialogue or scenery. Have Jimmy's Creaturepod be shown left lying around which makes them realize they have no way of getting him back to the teleporter in time. Jimmy would have no reason to even bring his Creaturepod on his adventure, so that just raises even more questions. Like, this isn't an active diss on the writers, but I think there should've been more proof-reading of the script since this is a massive oversight.

I think now is the time for me to bring up this question I've had for years now; How exactly does the teleporter work? In several episodes, we've seen that there is a coordinate code in the teleporter that allows it to be sent to the target. Koki's "the communication queen" as Aviva puts it, so she'd likely be able to triangulate the brothers' location. So I'm not sure why the show presents this as a struggle for Koki. This isn't the only example, so I won't hold it against the episode, (they have this be the case specifically to emphasize the point that they need Jimmy, which I can forgive) but it's another piece of lore that I should probably theorize about lmao.

Also

YOU HAVE LITERALLY TELPORTED THE CREATURE POWER DISCS FOUR TIMES.

TWO OF THOSE TIMES BEING IN A ROW.

AND ONE OF THEM WAS FOUR EPISODES AGO IN THIS EXACT SAME SEASON.

This whole episode spent the past five minutes making its main characters look incredibly idiotic for the sake of its B plot.

Once again, this episode's spitting facts that I didn't even know.

This is actually a neat seguay, having the brothers figure out the abilities of the mudskippers while exercising their own cool abilities. It feels really natural, and again, is an inventive way to show off the locomotive abilities of the mudskipper.

I feel like this falls very well between "accurate enough to be admirable" and "uncanny." I can (maybe on my deathbed) get used to this suit's design (though I'm partly glad Chris doesn't activate it because spoilers, he doesn't).

I've given this subplot a lot of flack, but credit where it's due, even with its misses, it does hit with the emotional beats.

Very conflicted on this:

On one hand, Jimmy actually taking the initiative to miniaturize is pretty ballsy. The show, despite not being serialized, does develop its characters in a way that you can sense a clear difference of them when you compare the modern seasons to the earlier ones. And this can be seen as a positive development for Jimmy, since it's his "Creature Adventure."

On the other hand.... back to what I was saying about consistency. Why did Jimmy bring the miniaturizer?? What was his prompting?? Was he planning on shrinking himself down the whole time? Like, he left his friends for god knows how much time and is now out of nowhere shrinking himself down to fish size because he feels inadequate? Uhm, Jimmy, ever heard the idea of therapy?

Also, again, very weird presentation of the episode. They don't at all put any attention to Jimmy's coms and whether or not he has them, (which would easily solve a bigger issue of why he's not contacted), yet they have him carry the Miniaturizer with him. Now, the latter is plot-relevant, but so could've been something about the Creaturepod.

This [from what I interpret] gets Jimmy out of his slump, making his "scientific discovery." Not realizing that his job of piloting and teleporting are equally important. Again, this is structured poorly. I like what they were going for, but it shouldn't have been the only thing that altered the trajectory of this subplot. Again, he can teleport discs to the brothers and pilot and while those are mentioned later on, it's not something he comes to himself in an "oh shit" moment. So this just feels unearned and weird. I really hate how harsh I am, since it's a Jimmy centric episode and it was the #1 requested thing on all the chat-boards during the hiatus, but this is one of those things where it has to be done right if at all. This isn't done right, and the fact that it takes up 50% of the episode just... ugh.

You can't tell it through screenshots but with the way Aviva says it and the scene cutting to her and Koki laughing at it, I'm 98% inclined that this was a specific innuendo, and ngl, I kinda laughed too.

Oh look, it's Kenge's cousin! [For you Lion Guard fans that also recognize Wild Kratts] - [I was inclined to make a reference to Jessie, but that felt in bad taste considering y'know]

Ok, but that has to be an Asian water monitor. Correct me if I'm wrong. What I'm definitely not wrong about is that their bites contain venom; To a human it's not lethal, however to small prey, including mudskippers, or anything around that size, it's lights out. So yeah, Chris and Martin are fucked.

Ok this line is absolutely badass.

Also, grey?? Grey?? I thought Jimmy's signature color was orange/yellow? Or red with the implication of the tail episode? Great, now there's another color that'll be in the debates for his future Creature Power Suit.

Once again, this arc feels weirdly put together. This notion comes up specifically at the climax when it should come up beforehand as Jimmy realizes his worth. Because otherwise, it gives the implication that he knew this all along and yet still felt like a fish out of water, which doesn't mesh together properly (it could, if the episode actually tried to do so which it didn't).

The episode, Sea Otter Swim, does this plot so much better. We see Jimmy's doubts, and we see how he overcomes said doubts in a way that is presented clear to the audience, and the climax where he actually realizes what he's capable of feels earned. This is not earned. So even though I am rooting for him to win, this whole thing just feels messy.

So is nobody gonna ask why Jimmy left his post? Is Jimmy not gonna tell everyone why he left, or at the very least ask why nobody bothered to call for him? Is nobody going to at least let Jimmy know that he can't just... abandon his post without warning because of the fact that they need him? Is Jimmy not going to come to that conclusion himself? Is anything in this episode gonna be earned??

This entire ending feels like an ass-pull: First off, Jimmy and the brothers had enough time to head back to the miniaturizer and then the Tortuga, and in none of that time, did Jimmy ever give them the Power Discs? Why? Yes, it was for the sake of the fake-out defeat/joke, but was there any reason why Jimmy just kept the thing hidden waiting to give it to the brothers?

The entire emotional climax to this episode is basically everyone putting Jimmy on a pedestal. It's unsatisfying because there wasn't any acknowledgement or follow up to Jimmy's conflict at the beginning, nor is the lesson learned in the right way, and the conclusion just overreacts by hyping up Jimmy instead of just having a reasonable "We're a team!" thing, or through any self-actualization of his good qualities that Koki pointed out. None of it, friggin' none of this is earned! Now it comes across as Jimmy being uncharacterstically boastful and cocky and the others just kissing his arse. That's probably not the intent but it was the result.

That is actually like, so fucking cool. I have massive respect for all of these people, like legitimately (also, considerning that's the exact opposite of what Zach does on an ethics scale, I find that really interesting). But beyond that, I think this episode has the best live action segments ever, they are so ingenuitive. I could easily see someone at my high school showing a clip of this episode in robotics' or biology class.

CONCLUSION:

PROS:

The live action segments.

The info dumps about the mudskippers.

The Kratt Brother's adventure with the mudskippers.

The animation

The background music (a lot of which is recycled from earlier seasons)

CONS:

Everything else (specifically the B plot). I feel like the writers wanted to give Jimmy his own storyline, either out of interest or seeing how popular the character was in chat-boards, but they didn't know how to do it so they just went through the motions without really connecting anything at all, so it's a lot harder relating to the exact conflicts in some cases, and you feel disatisfied by the cimax. It reminds me of what they did with Vitani in the Lion Guard finale, a case of giving this one character the spotlight, but hitting all of the wrong marks that does the character and the audience a disservice and leaves a bitter taste in the viewer's mouth by the end credits.

This is the first episode this season that has made me cringe, primarily off of its premise, not just a particular scene, a dated pop culture reference, or a weird-looking Power Suit. It is the first to make me cringe because of its story, which again, the B-plot takes up 50% of the episode, so it's constantly in your face. It's definitely not bad, not hateable bad, and it's far too early in the season to call it the worst, and there are definitely worse episodes out there, ones that have aired and ones that probably will inevitably air, but I can safely say, thus far, it's the one Wild Kratts episode that I enjoy, but only to an extent. The live action segments were by far the only thing that I got extremely engaged in, but other than that, and the other pros, it's not that good.

Final Ranking: 6/10: Above Average, but Needed Improvement.

[appalachiasferaldaughter]

From the Keeper of the Tales

CW: Death, mention of alcohol.

Note: This is a long one. Also, I would like to preface something for my own sake. If you are uninterested, you may skip directly to the tale. It's under the keep reading tab.

I am writing this out because I have recently suffered some terrible heartbreak... which you may have guessed from reading my writings featuring one I call, "Señor." Everything finally came to a head earlier this week and now we are no contact. Although it is an answered prayer because the cycle has finally ended, it still hurts. It hurts so much.

As I heal from this, I am going back through the wisdom I have received from the gods and Landvættir, since hindsight is 20/20. I offer this wisdom to you all as well, given to me by a kind spirit some weeks ago. I hope you may find some benefit. And whatever heartbreak, hardships, or suffering you are currently going through, I am praying that you will find relief. If it's any consolation from a stranger on the internet, Daughters, Sons, and Children: I love you. Please keep going.

ᛉ

In Southern Illinois, there is a state park known as Garden of the Gods. It is a beautiful park with amazing views that you would not expect to find in a state like Illinois. Although it is quite a drive for me (about 1.5 hours), I find myself going there often. It reminds me so much of where my family is from in Appalachia. My most popular writing, a hail to the Spirit of the Mountain and Landvættir, was written for that land. The Landvættir there introduced themselves to me as a herd of deer. I offer them incense whenever I can.

A few weeks ago, I went to the Garden of the Gods to present an offering but also just to connect with the spirits some more. I found a cool, shaded rock that was away from the main touristy crowds and sat down to try and connect with the spirits. Using twigs scattered on the rock, I made the rune of Algiz (ᛉ) and offered the incense.

After a few moments of meditating on Algiz, I heard the Landvættir speak: "Go deeper into the woods." I extinguished the incense and did so. I followed the main hiking trail until I found a not-so-trodden path veering to the left. I went off course (what I thought was off course, I should say) going downhill a good way, until I found a dried up ravine. I followed it to the left some more until I realized it was leading back up and around. I was going in a circle. Okay, cool, I guess. I started to trek back uphill (ugh) until I was stopped dead in my tracks as I came across a rock that was shaped as a human ear.

"Wait and listen," I heard the Landvættir say. It was a beautiful resting area as the sun was waning in the afternoon sky. I lit the incense and offered it to the rock, introducing myself, and asked permission to sit on the boulder in front. I felt acceptance of the sage and permission to do so. So, I sat. And I waited. For what, I wasn't quite sure. All I could gather was this was a place to sit and wait to hear something.

I saw many beautiful things as I sat and waited. There was a Luna Moth that flew and stopped at every tree. Earthly deer herds were making their way through. Crows and birds were singing their songs. Even if nothing was going to happen, it was nice to take a pause and appreciate the beauty of the area. I'm not quite sure how long I sat there before The Keeper of the Tales approached me.

As I was growing stiff and considering getting up to leave, the presence of... a man, perhaps, sat opposite of me. I sat with my back turned to the ear rock and he sat facing it. Startled, I greeted him(? I'm honestly not sure what gender this spirit was or if he even conformed to a binary, but it felt like a masculine presence so for this recounting, I will refer to the spirit as he/him) and he returned the greeting. I shouldn't have been surprised that he already knew my name.

Without warning, after his greeting, he immediately went into a tale of wisdom. Below is a transcription of the tale written to the best of my memory and as I heard and understood it:

In a herd of deer, a doe gave birth to twin fawns. It was a rare occurrence and unexpected, for this doe was in the line of elders that would oversee the protection and sanctity of the herd. Her son would replace the elders who passed on—but there were two! The elders gathered to discuss how they were to handle this situation because it was unprecedented. After much deliberation and council, they decided on the fate of the twins: when they grew up into manhood and their antlers had come in, they would fight each other to the death. The winner would take their rightful place as leader of the herd. The loser would be gored by the other.

When the mother of the twins heard this, she was greatly displeased. Being wise in her own eyes, she decided that she would not prepare the twins for this upcoming battle. She would work hard to keep them from fighting with each other by teaching them to greatly respect and love each other as brothers should. That way, when the time would come for them to fight, they would not. Their lives were not worth the leadership role.

As the twins grew, so did their tempers. As much as the mother of the twins taught them about love, peace, and brotherhood, she could not keep them from fighting amongst each other. It was in their very nature to quarrel, it seemed. Despite their quarrels, the twin brothers still loved and respected each other very much. They carried this within them to the time of their manhood, when their antlers grew in. Their mother still kept their destiny hidden from them until she could hide it no more.

As their antlers grew full, the elders were crossing over. It was time to pass on the leadership to the next generation. It was time for the twins to face their destiny. The remaining elders approached the twins and told them it was time to face each other in battle. The twins were surprised and therefore unprepared for this. Fight my own brother? To the death? Never. They couldn’t possibly do such a thing. But something stirred within their souls—the call of destiny, perhaps? Or their egos? They knew that this had to be done because the herd could not continue without a leader to guide them. Each brother felt that they were fit to take on the title and were willing to fight the other for the sake of the title. But they cursed their mother for keeping this hidden from them for they were both unprepared to take on such a task.

And so, the twins fought. Because neither had a chance to train, to prepare, to seek council for this tournament, one was not able to overpower the other. Their antlers remained twisted, tangled amongst each other. They were deadlocked. Their power was equal as if of one buck. They remained this way for seven days and seven nights, until, finally, they both collapsed from exhaustion and died. Their mother failed to prepare a winner for their destined encounter and so the herd was leaderless—much to their detriment. The remaining elders were also unprepared, for they expected a leader to rise from the quarrel, but they died without passing their heritage to the next generation. Therefore, the herd was scattered, to each their own and without the protection of all.

Well, that was depressing.

The spirit must have known my questioning of why this tale was spoken and so he turned and asked me, "What is your interpretation of this tale?" I sat there for a moment in silence, processing what I just heard. Immediately, my human mind wanted to question the plot holes, the nihilistic and pessimistic worldview, and why this has anything to do with me.

I replied, "Well, the mother took away the twin's opportunity to prepare for their fated encounter," I began thinking aloud, "The elders could have come up with a different solution–surely, there could be two rulers. I mean, there were multiple elders! And the twins could have chosen not to fight. They could have let the herd break apart while they saved themselves. There were so many different ways to handle this."

"Of course, how can one truly prepare for what they will face in this life?" The spirit asked, "Is wisdom gained through knowledge or experience?"

"Both," I responded. "Right? It has to be both."

"Is what you experience the same as somebody else?" he asked. "Would two people who have the same knowledge but different life experiences be prepared to do the exact same thing with the exact same enthusiasm?"

I didn't respond. It felt as if the spirit took a deep breath in, and then said, "You appear to have a lot of experiences you were not prepared for. You've also encountered people who have judged you harshly for handling the situations the way that you have..." another inhale, "and will. They are aware but not experienced in the same way you are. My dear, knowledge is knowing that alcohol can be deadly, and those who abuse it can wreak great havoc on those around them. Wisdom is understanding why the alcohol is being abused to begin with as you, yourself, stare down the neck of the bottle."

I felt my lip quiver but held back the onslaught of emotions coming through. "Sir, what is your point?"

I couldn't see his physical form, but I could feel his smile as he said, "My point is sometimes, there is no right or wrong answer. Only what is, and we won't know until we're in the moment itself what is right and what is wrong. What is right for you could be wrong for the other person... in the moment."

"So, what we feel is right could change as we gain wisdom?" I asked. I felt a hand grip my shoulder in a reassuring gesture. "Sir, what is your name?"

"You can call me The Keeper of the Tales."

"...Thank you."

And with that, the presence left me. I sat there for a minute longer on my own, digesting the experience. Then, I thanked the rock, the Landvættir for guiding me to that place, and then I continued upward and back toward humanity.

ᛉ

You have made it to the end.

[miizuzu]

Fated Encounter

well here is the jjk fic i couldnt get out of my head, it will be some what of a slow burn so bare with me :)

Part 1

“Promise me you will marry and take care of my sister.” Suguru said to Satoru, Satoru promised as Suguru fell unconscious. He had just taken a heavy blow on the head while defending Satoru. 

Both the Geto family and Gojo family had been close, Satoru and Suguru were so close they were technically brothers. Being in the Yakuza household means there are usually constant targets on their back. Their enemy's are always lurking waiting for a time to strike, Suguru’s mother was targeted and killed in front of his sister, he has been very protective of her since. 

Satoru was in a gang fight when it happened. The enemy used some dirty tricks to distract him enough to deal a heavy blow right as Suguru arrived. The tugs were fought off by Suguru's men but he ended up being severely injured.

Suguru was rushed into the hospital and had to be in the operation room for hours before the doctor told Satoru that he is now in a coma and not sure when he will wake up. 

Fast forward 2 years… Satoru had intended to keep his promise to marry Suguru's sister until he saw you. Everything about you had him head over heels for you and he was sure you were his soulmate. He couldn't chase after you until he takes care of his promised engagement with Suguru's sister, whom he has never met or seen, only knows she has taken over for Suguru while he is away. 

Satoru would never approach you, always watching you from a distance. He first saw you when you walked out of his favorite sweets shop, making him forget his whole purpose of going there was to pick up his favorite treats. He ends up following you, watching you care for strangers who happened to need help. It was always easy for him to find you, you always hung out around the same area, playing with little kids or helping the elderly. Satoru thought you must be an Angel, even with your long wavy black hair, your smile was angelic and he would love nothing more if he could get you to smile for him. 

He had finally made up his mind. He was going to Geto’s household to call off the engagement. He wasn't going to marry Suguru's sister if he knew he would not be able to love her like he should. 

Sitting in the waiting area, Satoru nervously waited, not sure how he should bring up the termination of the engagement until someone comes into the room. A tall blonde man, with a serious look on his face, walks in and shuts the door. “I would like to speak with Lady Geto.” Satoru requested. “The Lady is busy, she sent me to tell you she wants to end your current engagement.” The blonde man told Satoru. He was shocked, but he was glad he didn't have to worry about that problem anymore. “I see… Help me let the Lady know, if she needs anything, the Gojo house would not hesitate to help.” Satoru said as he stood up from his seat. “I will relay the message.” the blonde man confirms.

It felt like a boulder had been lifted off Satoru’s chest, he was free from the binding of the engagement and is now free to pursue you. He orders his men to drop him off at the usual spot where you hang out. He finds you right away and decides that today would be the day he asks for your name. 

He was walking in your direction when your attention was robbed from him as you see an elderly woman getting harassed by some tugs. You ran towards the elderly woman and tried to defend her, one of the tugs saw how pretty you look and was trying to get you to follow them. You start struggling as you try to pull your hand back but to no avail. Satoru comes in and rescues you from the tugs like a knight in shining armor. You quickly thanked him and went back to attend to the elderly woman, she left once she confirmed she was fine. 

Satoru waited patiently as you walked back towards his direction. “T-thank you again for helping me, how can I repay your kindness?” You looked into his beautiful blue eyes as your face became hot, you are not used to talking to people, especially the opposite sex. Satoru watches you and couldn't help but gently smile at you, “I'm Satoru Gojo, could you tell me your name?” He tilts his head playfully as he awaits your answer. “My name is Y/N, not sure what would've happened if you didn't come along.” You politely answered. “You have a beautiful name, it matches you perfectly.” Satoru says flirtatiously, making you turn bright red.

“I better get going. It's getting late.” You were nervous and didn't know how you should deal with him, so using the time as your excuse, you tried to leave. “Wait, can I have your number?” Satoru looks at you with saddened eyes, almost looking like an abandoned puppy. “I'm not used to giving my number to someone I just met. We will see if I ever see you again.” You quickly walked off, heading home.

Satoru thought to himself, he had struck gold. You were the first one to reject him, well second, since Suguru's sister also rejected him earlier today. He was glad that you were not like the other girls who would just submit to him right away, he could really get whoever he wants with his look and statues. His interest in you had grown immensely, he thought to himself that he must have you and he will never let you go. He is already planning for your next meeting, since he would always know where you would be, there's no way for you to escape him. 

When you finally got home, you let out a sigh of relief. You are in your comfort zone, you like being by yourself. You closed yourself in after an incident which happened 7 years ago, you were left with no memories except for your name and a large amount of money that was said to be from your parents, whom you cannot remember. You have a very boring life and you wouldn't ask for anything else. You finally decided you want to open up to people again but you were not used to  interactions anymore but kids and elderly people seem to be okay.

You sleep quite early, you would normally be in bed by 9:30 pm and wake up around 7:00 am, not that you have to work but you like enjoying the fresh air outside. 

Tonight your mind was preoccupied by your knight in shining armor - Satoru Gojo. He was the most beautiful person you've ever seen. His white hair paired with his mesmerizing sky-blue eyes, he was like a prince straight out of a fairytale. A part of you wishes you could see him again and get to know him, but the other part was scared, what if he had other intentions? 

You made a simple dinner before getting yourself washed up and readied for bed, reading a chapter from your favorite book before sleeping. 

You are not sure why, but sometimes you would wake up feeling extra tired, like you pulled an all-nighter, even though you were sleeping soundly in bed. 

You decided you want to just hang out in the park and finish reading your book before lunch. You found your favorite bench and walked towards it and sat down, you began reading your book when you were interpreted.

“Hi Y/N, we meet again! This must be fate.” Satoru Gojo appeared out of nowhere and sat down right beside you. “Oh, h-hi there, Mr. Gojo.” You sheepishly said. “Please, call me Satoru. No need to be so formal.” Satoru chuckles. “Oh… ok … Sa-toru.” You were blushing so hard, you have never called anyone by their name and Satoru loved your voice calling out his name. “So, you said you would give me your number if we met again.” Satoru reminds you. “I think I said I would think about it.” You confirmed. Satoru pouts and you giggled, thinking he looked adorable. 

Still feeling uneasy around him, you asked, “What brought you here? I usually only see the same people around the neighborhood, and you don't seem like you live around here?” You could hardly hold eye contact while talking to him. “I just moved here a few days ago.” Satoru lies, trying to have you lower your guard. “I see…” you tried ignoring him, hoping he would go away. “Since I just moved here, you mind showing me around? I'm still not familiar with the area here.” Satoru asks as he reaches his hand out for you. 

You hesitate, he doesn't seem like he would give up easily, being bad at confrontation, you finally agreed to show him around. You spend your morning walking around with Satoru, showing him the restaurants and grocery stores which you thought had the best deals and you actually had a good time. 

Satoru could be a bit pushy at times but he means well. You were able to open up more towards him slowly, finally giving him your phone number. Satoru bought you lunch as thanks for showing him around and told you he had somewhere he had to be so the both of you went your separate ways. 

You went to the grocery store and bought some ingredients to make food at home. You were walking home when you bumped into your neighborhood, Kento Nanami. He had been very nice to you, everytime you needed help, he was there to offer his assistance. He is not always home and he works some ridiculous hours, sometimes you do feel sorry for him but he says he loves his job. 

You got home and started cooking when your phone started ringing. ‘Incoming call from an unknown number’ you picked it up wondering who was calling you. “Hey Y/N! It's me, Satoru. Sorry I had to leave earlier, hope you got home safely.” Satoru apologizes, “Don't worry about it, I bought some stuff from the grocery store and went home to make dinner.” You told him. “That sounds great, I haven't had a home cooked meal for a long time.” Satoru sighs, making you giggle. “If you miss home cooked meals so much, you could come have some?” you gasp, thinking you had just invited Satoru to dinner, and worst, your home. 

Panic kicked in and you shouted “Actually!!! Never mind! I just burnt it. Maybe I can get you to try some other time.” You tried to take back your invite. “I bet it would still be delicious even if it's burnt. Send me your location. I will be there shortly.” Satoru excitedly said before hanging up, not giving you a chance to talk yourself out of it. 

You sigh, wondering if you should actually let him come, he was the first real friend you made after so long and you don't want to lose that. You finally texted him your address and he arrived within 10 minutes. 

“How did you get here so fast?” You asked Satoru, “I actually moved into this building.” Satoru smirks. Little did you know, he has made his lie a reality in the short few hours being apart from you, he knew where you lived and bought out the unit above yours. “You should come over for a housewarming party soon.” He pats your head and thinks to himself how someone could have such silky smooth hair. Satoru is trying his best to keep his hands to himself but finds it increasingly hard every time he sees you. 

The two of you ate dinner and chatted a bit longer, you were getting tired and was starting to doze off. Satoru took it as a hint to take his leave, you walked him to the front door and he stopped. “If you don't mind, could we hang out like this again? I would really love to get to know you more.” Satoru scratches the back of his head while nervously looking at you with puppy eyes. “I'd like that, I haven't had a meal with someone else for a long time. It felt really nice.” You nodded and smiled at him. 

Satoru's smile was beaming, he leaned in and gave you a quick Peck on your cheeks, catching you off guard. “So…, see you tomorrow?” He's playfully tilting his head again. With your hand brushing the spot Satoru just kissed, you stared at him and sheepishly nodded before closing the door. You decided to take a quick shower to cool off before heading to bed. 

Satoru was still outside your door, his mind playing back the kiss on your cheeks over and over again, your skin was so soft and smooth, he couldn't help but think how soft your lips would be compared to your cheeks. He was leaving the building, trying to plan about moving into his newly acquired apartment. He went back to the Gojo house to sort out some things so he could focus more time on you.

Arriving at his main house, he got called by one of the elders, asking why the engagement was called off. He felt annoyed, he didn't want the engagement to begin with and he had only promised because he hadn't met you and was trying to fulfill the wish of his best friend. But now that you are in his life, he intends to make you his no matter the cost. 

Satoru was heading to his room when one of his men stopped him. “Hey boss, we received a call from the Geto house, they requested a meeting with you.” “When is the meeting taking place?” Satoru was about to head to the shower and relax a while before sleeping. “They are hoping to meet you in an hour.” “This late?... Fine, it's not like I can sleep yet anyways, let's go.” Satoru turned around and headed out.

Satoru was greeted by the blonde hair man again when he got to the Geto residence, he led Satoru to the meeting room and waited there. Satoru was wondering why he was suddenly summoned, since the engagement was called off. 

“Thank you Kento.” A female voice said as she entered the room. Satoru watched as she walked in and sat down on the couch in front of him. ‘This must be Suguru's sister.’ Satoru thought to himself. She had long straight hair pulled back into a single ponytail, raven black, same as Suguru, she was wearing a mask covering half her face, her sharp red eyes, piercing through him. 

“Satoru Gojo, the reason I called you here is because I finally found the culprit who injured Suguru, and I need your help to lure them out.” She was not asking, but demanding Satoru to cooperate. “I don't mind, but couldn't you have asked a bit nicer?” Satoru jokingly said. Her brows furrowed, “Don't forget my brother is in a coma because of your carelessness.” She snaps at Satoru. 

Satoru doesn't need a reminder, he knows he owes the Geto house for Suguru's injury, there isn't a day he wished that it was him laying in the hospital bed instead of his best friend. “Fine, I get it. Tell me what you need me to do.” Satoru sighs and shrugs at her. She starts explaining who it was that was targeting him, and what they will do to avenge her brother, she wants an eye for an eye.

After the meeting, Satoru quickly took his leave. “Kento, I need you to keep an close eye on him. I will not allow him to live a happy life while my brother suffers.” Lady Geto said coldly as she watched Satoru leave. 

Satoru finally got home and he felt exhausted. He was really glad the engagement was canceled because he couldn't stand Lady Geto. She could be pretty under the mask but her personality is horrible. Satoru just thought about the time he spent with you and was finally able to relax again. He plans to move to your building as soon as possible so he can spend more time with you. 

You woke up in the morning from some stomping footsteps from your neighbor above you. You weren't going to confront them though even when they abruptly woke you up. You went to the kitchen and prepared a cup of tea to wake yourself up when you heard the doorbell ring. You opened the door to find the beautiful white haired man staring straight at you. “Good morning Y/N, what do you have planned for today?” Satoru energetically asks. “I was hoping to sleep in a bit but upstairs is being quite loud…” you whispered thinking you don't want your neighbors to know you were talking about them. “Oh. Sorry to wake you, darling. I had people come over and help me with organizing my place.” Satoru tried to hold in his laughter and he watched your face turn bright red, finding out that he was the noisy neighbor.

"Well, since you're up, why don't we go grab a bite to eat? My treat for waking you.” Satoru flaunts his award winning smile at you. “Ok, let me go get ready. Do you want to wait inside?” You open the door wider for him to come in. Satoru walks in and sits down on the couch as you head back to your room to get changed. You came out wearing a white blouse and a long dark blue skirt, you didn't have any makeup on but Satoru thought you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. It got him daydreaming about your futures together, it took him a while to get up from the couch since he had a hard on, just looking at you.

You were leaving your unit when Nanami came up the stairs, Satoru saw him and wondered what he was doing here. Nanami’s face was stern when he saw Satoru, but he quickly relaxed after seeing you. “Good morning, Y/N. Who do you have with you?” Nanami asks you with a soft smile on his face. “He's our new Neighbor, Satoru Gojo. He lives upstairs.” You shyly reply, trying to avoid Nanami's eyes. “Nice meeting you, Gojo.” Nanami had a fake smile on his face as he extended his hand out to shake Satoru's hand. “Yeah, same. You will be seeing me around a lot.” Satoru reached for Nanami's hand and shook it, gripping it hard, anyone else would be able to see the sparks flying as they glared down at each other but you were ignorant. “Hope you have a good day, Y/N. Let me know if you ever need help with anything.” Nanami said before walking past the 2 of you to get to his apartment, his eyes still on you as you walk downstairs and Satoru turned around and stuck his tongue out at him, making Nanami slightly snapped.

Finally arriving at the restaurant and sitting down, Satoru finally asks you about Nanami. “So… who is he to you? Are you 2 close?” He was pouting a bit, but tried to be as calm as possible, not wanting to let you know he was jealous. “Mr. Nanami is very nice. He helps me out a lot, he was the first friend I have after moving here.” You honestly reply, smiling to yourself. “Do you like him?” Satoru's pout is more obvious now. “I wish I had a brother like him. He's really good at taking care of people.” You told Satoru. “Then what do you think about me?” He grabs your hand and looks at you while he slightly tilts his head. You started blushing and tried pulling your hand away but Satoru wouldn't let your hands go. “You're my friend.” you shyly reply. “What if I want to be something more? Will that be alright with you?” Satoru is now looking very serious, desperately hoping for the answer he wants. 

You felt your face burning, you had never felt this way with anyone, you've only met him for a short time at that. You know you were starting to develop feelings for Satoru but you were too shy to admit to it. “Do you like me?” You shyly peeked at Satoru. “I fell madly in love with you when I first saw you.” Satoru being straight forward as ever, “Could you please please please PLEASE go out with me?” Satoru was hoping to ask you out at a more romantic place and time. But after seeing your reaction with Nanami he felt jealous and couldn't hold in his feelings anymore. 

You were quiet, trying to process everything. Satoru was holding his breath, he was dying for an answer. He was sure you felt something for him too. He watches you intensely with his shining ocean blue eyes. 

You finally nodded. Your movement was so subtle he almost missed it. “So that's a yes??” Satoru tries to confirm. “...Yes Satoru, but this is my first time feeling this way for anyone, so please… take care of me?” You shyly looked into his beaming eyes. “Oh baby, I would give you the world if you asked.” He was excited, moving to the seat beside you, holding you into his embrace. 

You felt embarrassed from everyone staring, Satoru was so happy he didn't realize how he had already pulled you sitting onto his lap. “Um… Satoru? Could we… take things slow… I'm not used to all this…” you tried to bury your face in your palms, wanting to avoid the envious eyes from the others in the restaurant. 

“Sorry babe, I'm just too happy right now.” He has the biggest smile, “Do you mind if we go somewhere else?” You quietly ask. He quickly stood up and took your hand and walked out. Satoru took you to the grocery store instead and bought ingredients to bring back to cook instead, his hand fingers still intertwined with yours, not wanting to let go. 

Arriving home, you were about to head towards your place but Satoru kept walking and led you to his place. You felt a little nervous, you just started your first ever relationship and now you're going to his place. Your heart was beating out of your chest, you were not sure what would happen once you stepped into his home.

Satoru was watching you with the corner of his eyes, he could tell how uneasy you looked, “Relax babe, just cause I made you my girlfriend doesn't mean I will eat you up right away.” ‘even though I want to’ Satoru thought to himself. “Let's just enjoy our time together, yeah?” Satoru led you into the living room, finally letting go of your hand and heading to the kitchen.

You wandered around the living room, you saw a lot of picture frames with Satoru and a guy with long black hair. You picked up one of the picture frames and examined the picture more. Satoru looks so playful in the photos. “That's my best friend Suguru.” Satoru said while peeking at you from the kitchen. You put the frame back down and walked towards the kitchen, standing close by the kitchen island while watching Satoru prepare the food. 

“To be honest, I never thought you could cook.” You giggled as Satoru made a shocked face and pretended to be hurt by your statement. “Ouch. What makes you think that?” Satoru questions. “Not sure, you just look like you had people who would do all that for you.” You shyly looked away. “Well, you're not wrong. But I do know how to make simple meals.” Satoru continues cooking. 

After finishing up with your meal, you and Satoru cleaned up the dishes and he showed you around his whole unit, you shyly peeked your head into his bedroom, which was very organized, there were more photos with his best friend Suguru, which made you think they must be really close to have that many photos together. “You and Suguru must be very close, I would love to meet him one day.” You suggested. Satoru's smile jurked, which you failed to see. “Yea, I would introduce you one day.” Satoru wasn't sure what Suguru would think about you, Satoru was supposed to marry and take care of his sister like he promised before meeting you. 

You continued exploring his home and finally got back to the living room as Satoru's phone started to ring. It was his underlings calling him, he didn't want you to know he was in the Yakuza yet. He finally got you and didn't want to scare you away. “Um, sorry Y/N. Something came up, I have to go out for a while. I'll see you later?” Satoru said apologetically. “Don't worry about me, take care of what needs to be done. I'll just head home.” You smile at him as you head towards the door. 

“Hey, wait.” Satoru quickly walks after you. “Can I get a kiss? You know, since you're my girlfriend now.” Satoru knows you wanted to take things slow but he was testing his luck. You turned bright red and avoided his eyes, he knew he was asking too much. “Sorry, don't worry about it. I will wait till you are ready.” He opened the door for you to get out. 

You quickly turned towards him and gave him a kiss on his cheeks. That was all you were brave enough to do. You ran off right after, Satoru just stood there, frozen in his spot, processing what just happened. ‘Was I dreaming?’ he asked himself as he finally moved his hand to where you kissed him. His skin cheeks felt hot and he couldn't stop grinning.

[queenwendy]

Sometimes I get morbidly curious and scroll through the terf tag (bad idea) and half the time it makes me sad but the other half it makes me laugh my ass off because like… they seem to think anybody can walk into a doctor’s office, declare “I am trans!” And just get sex reassignment surgery??? Like, what???? That isn’t how that works at all

I’m a trans woman in the western US, and I am lucky enough to have A) supportive family and B) really fucking good healthcare through my family. To be clear, if you do not have A and especially if you do not have B good fucking luck getting blockers, much less hormones or dear god surgery! It’s nigh impossible!

In early 2018 when I was almost 15, I came out to my parents. Immediately I was put in therapy (that had more to do with the depression and suicidal ideation I experienced while in the closet than being trans). While social transition (different name, different clothes) happened pretty quickly, it wasn’t until my mental health stuff was dealt with that my therapist and doctor, both on the trans youth specialist team, started talking HRT.

The first step was puberty blockers. To get that approved I not only needed parent permission and a ton of forms, I was all but required to bank sperm (as a 15 year old!) and I had to socially transition and meet a bunch of WPATH requirements (I actually like WPATH a lot, to be clear) and wait through a months long waiting list just to get an appointment with a psychiatrist, who then asked me a bunch of questions (he was nice, I do not remember the questions, this was years ago) to ensure I didn’t have some other problem. After passing that, I got a prescription for nogonadotropin as a puberty blocker.

From the time I first told doctors I was trans to the time I had my first blockers shot, a little over 6 months had passed. To be clear, in the US, that’s fast. In the UK? That’s impossibly fast.

It then took another 6 months of blood test, questioners, meetings with my doctor and my parents and my therapists before I was finally cleared for estradoil tablets. 1 mg/day. I got them nearly on the year to the day from when I came out. I was nearly 16

Again, that is crazy fast.

Within a year and a half my estradoil doseage had increased to 6mg/day and I was on 100mg/day of progesterone as well. Eventually that became 200mg/day. Years later I switched from estradoil tablets to estradoil shots.

The entire time I have seen the same therapist, not just for trans healthcare but also mental health stuff. I got SSRIs for anxiety, got an ADHD diagnosis, etc.

In fall of 2022 (I was 19), I reached out to my doctor to say I wanted bottom surgery. We had talked about doing it before, but I had always said “I don’t know if I’m ready.” I was unsure. And even though I could have gotten at least an orchiectomy after I turned 16 if I really wanted to (with parental permission and I am sure so much medical red tape I would have been an adult by the time it happened), I never wanted it. My doctors were surprised I wanted it, so were my folks.

I had to meet with my therapist several times, coordinate with a social worker, and get 2 or 3 letters of recommendation from doctors. Then I needed to unravel who and what my insurance cost and find surgeons I wanted to consult with. That took MONTHS. It wasn’t until fall of 2023, a full year later, that I was FINALLY was able to schedule with two of the three surgeons I wanted (we’ll get to that third one in a bit).

It is now the last days of august 2024. I had my first consultation, which was out of state, earlier this month. It went well. If I had scheduled a surgery date right then and there, there would have been a year long wait time. Which again, is a very very small wait time. I didn’t though, because I wanted to consult with other surgeons and I knew that would be smack in the middle of graduate school.

My second consultation (which, ugh, I need to do some phone calls for to figure out transportation!) is in a few months. The third one? I’m still on a waiting list to GET A CONSULTATION.

To be clear, neither my parents nor my doctors ever pressured me into anything. My folks were completely blindsided when I came out and had basically no idea how to proceed besides using a different name. My doctors always said “well, here’s your options and all the risks. You want that? Okay, think on it for a month and we’ll discuss next steps at our next appointment.” All of this was my choice. Mine. And they never tried to stop me either, just make sure I was being safe and following procedure.

Both my younger sister and my cousin on my mom’s side are trans as well. Considering we have several blood relatives on that side of the family who are also LGBTQ+ going back at least to the 1940s, assume there’s a genetic predisposition for it. Both my sister and my cousin have had a lot harder of a time getting HRT, even though my sister has the same insurance, same provider, same psychologist as me (idk what my cousin’s insurance situation is).

Odds are, I will have my graduate degree (environmental engineering) before I undergo surgery. Maybe even before I have a date for undergoing surgery. If all goes well, I graduate in may 2026. I’ve agreed with my girlfriend that once we graduate in 2026 if we’re still together I’ll feel comfortable getting engaged, so it’s very possible that I will be fucking married before I get SRS. Y’know, assuming it isn’t outlawed or anything.

When I was 14, I figured out I was a girl. Without talking to anybody, I knew I wanted a female body and that the puberty I was going through wasn’t right. Looking back, there were times I almost knew when I was 11, when I was 7, when I was only 3. At that age, I considered “surgery is something I might do when I’m older. I dunno. Right now I have crippling depression and cheat dysphoria, I really just want to be called the right name and pronouns and have HRT.”

I am now 21. I haven’t undergone any surgeries in that time, at all (except wisdom teeth removal ig. Does that count?). I have had one (1) SRS consultation, and the soonest I could get surgery is a year from now, but odds are it will be in two years. Maybe three even.

There is no epidemic of children being told they are trans and getting surgeries. That doesn’t fucking happen. If you’re really worried about kids getting unnecessary surgery look into the weird world of rich white girls getting facelifts and breast enlargement surgeries and stuff. At no doctor’s office in this country can you walk in with one set of genitals and walk out with another at the drop of a hat. There is a YEARS long medical process that happens before a consultation is even scheduled. And before that there is a trans person’s entire earlier life of doubt and questioning and fear and pain.

[iruthomlogs]

World of Warcraft Yeehawgust undead cowboy

A World of Warcraft fanfiction for @yeehawgust event Yeehawgust 2024 day 10 undead featuring my forsaken characters Ansgar, Thorsten, Raphael, Hulbard, Amelia, and Celene.

A group of four cowboys and a pair of cowgirls arrived at a town in noon and a lot of town folks turn heads at these new arrivals as they smell bad. They soon saw that these folks are undead as their leader, a man wearing all black, said to his gang, "Let head to the saloon for a few drinks." and one of the men said, "Okay, Hulbard." The six undead cowboys then walk to the saloon as the scared town folks run to their homes.

As the undead cowboys take a seat in the bar and the people in the saloon look at the six undead folks, one of the undead men turn to a man sitting next to him at the bar and said to the human, "Hello, Robert." and Robert said in shock, "Thorsten? Is that you?" which Thorsten reply with a smile, "Yeah, I'm back from the dead." Thorsten then shoot Robert in the leg and one of the girls said, "Thorsten couldn't wait a little longer for his revenge." and the other girl reply, "I understand his thinking, Celene." Thorsten got up from his seat and said to the bleeding Robert, "You shoot me and left me for dead, Roobert. Now, I've come to get my revenge with my new friends. Each one of us has been killed by a friend of your ghost gang." and then shoot Robert in the face.

Sheriff Hatwing arrived to arrest the undead gang in order to bring justice only for the two women to walk up to him and said to him as they show their faces to the sheriff, "Hello, Sheriff Hatwing." and the sheriff's face turn grim as he said to the women, "It cannot be... Amelia... Celene..." and Amelia said to her lover, "Look at that, Celene. He remember the women that he has hung due to our live and our rejected of him." Celene ask her lesbian lover, "How can we killed him? Should we hang him?" and Amelia said, "That is a great idea, Celene." and then ask the others, "Boys, can you help poor undead ladies carry the sheriff to the hanging stand?" and the four undead men grab Sheriff Hatwing by his limbs and carry him to the hanging stand.

After the sheriff was hanged, the town was in a panic and both men and women start arming themselves and get ready to fight the undead six. As the six undead come onto the street, the adults start firing at them, but many of the bullets didn't hurt or even kill the undead gang and Hulbard wait until the living adults stop firing and he then said to the town people, "We don't want any trouble here. I understand that we bring terror to you, which we didn't mean to. Just hand us the men that we are going to named and we will leave town." and he start naming the men, "Thomas Lylodfuse, for the crime of killing his hunting partner Raphel for a woman. Edward Ragowl, for the crime of killing a mix wagon train overseen by Ansgar, when he was a man of God. Finally, Dean Kingsten, for the crime of killing me for silver." Once the three men are named, they are forced by the scared town people to face the men they killed, as the town people are willing to hand off these wicked men in return for their lives. Soon, the undead gang unload their bullets onto Thomas, Edward, and Dean, killing all three men. After the six undead got their revenge, they leave town and walk far from the settlement as the town people were shocked over what they just saw on this day.

Miles from the town wait a African American man whose lost his family to the infamous Ku Klux Klan and he use the power of Voodoo to bring back those whose were killed by the same Klan members whose murder his family. Soon, the undead six arrived to him and the African American man ask them, "Are those men dead?" and Hulbard reply, "Yes, they are dead. Old Nick will deal with them in Hell now." The master of the undead nod that revenge has come to them and he told them, "I have dug graves for you six. Go to these graves and I will return your souls." and the undead did as they are told before the African American man break the jars that hold their souls, allowing the undead gang to finally rest in peace and then burry their bodies.

[heaven-said]

𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄!

whether it be melodies that give you inspiration for your muse or songs that get you into the writing mood — pick 10 songs you find to give you the urge, the drive, or the creativity to write for your muse!

( This took me so long to do lmao-- )

Hero - Jeff Williams & Caleb Hyles

{{ THIS is Gabrel's theme to me, not just the near perfect lyrics but something about the blindly determined tone, the slight ego tied to a suffocating sense of responsibility, and I won't even bother listing the matching lyrics because almost every line fits him to a T-- especially pre-development gabe. For both Hazbin and Ultrakill verse. ( And it's sung by Caleb whomst has a great voice ofc ) Even the line about how children can't win a war could fit Hazbin verse because Gabe thinks of Charlie and her tactics as childish and sees fighting the darkness as just an ancient war. ( Or he did. ) }}

The Truth Beneath the Rose - Within Temptation

Give me strength to face the truth, the doubt within my soul No longer I can justify the bloodshed in His name Is it a sin to seek the truth, the truth beneath the rose? Pray with me so I will find the gate to Heaven's door I believed it would justify the means It had a hold over me Blinded to see the cruelty of the beast It is the darker side of me (Forgive me my sins)

The Plagues - Prince of Egypt

{{ I have to list this, its like an obligation on this blog lmao Really captures the conflict of the archangel brothers so well though, but also its ironic the way Gabriel is more Ramses than Moses. Even if its him who brings plagues. }}

Cold, Cold, Cold - The Family Crest

{{ Saw this in some Gabv1el fanart and now I am obsessed with it, it captures a feeling of two people fated to die together at the end of the world so well to me-- just with the intensity of how its few lyrics are sung. }}

See The Light - Ghost

( Thank Do-These-Eyes-Look-Human for reminding me of this song! ) Many a sin I have witnessed And in many indeed I have been Many a rat I have befriended And many a thorn stood between But of all the demons I have known None could compare to you Every day that you feed me with hate I grow stronger Drink me, eat me You will see the light

To The Edge - FF14

All our splendor bathed black in silence Our surrender, a somber reverie Slowly drifting down into twilight Left to sifting through fading memories Know our places, for worth is wordless Evanescent, this writing on the wall Brother, stay this descent to madness Come and save us, catch us before we fall

Noah's Arc - Young Heretics

Noah's Ark can't save us all Binary against the squall And in its wake Good men will fall And finally we can move on We have so much to answer for We asked for help to start this war Can we forgive The things we've done Take our things And move along

Charlie's Inferno - The Handsome Devil

( this one is the silly mood song, but it IS about a man who did everything right and still ended up being rejected by heaven so hoohoo ) You can run-on from your demons until you are exhausted One day, you will have to stop and find out what they wanted Keep on running from those demons 'til you are exhausted You can run-on to those angels until you are exhausted One day, you will have to stop and question what they wanted Keep on running to those angels 'til you are exhausted

False Start - We Were Evergreen

In the fast track I'm a ticking bomb Minor set-back, but I’ve gone too far I can make it just a few more yards I’m not failing, yeah, I’m almost done Can’t believe what just happened It wasn’t me, I know better than losing like this Clear my head, nobody’s saw it I’m up ahead, this is between the footworks and me Four long years I’ve been waiting to conquer this To spoil it up with a point one, a point one I can’t let, let my people down Not again, not after that last headline, that headline...

The Imperishables - Dirt Poor Robins

( A song that does wonders getting me into a scary angel mood lol ) We are the stars that never set The undying north, unfading west Tremble as we're now manifest A sight your perceptions will not accept Are we your relief or boundless grief A thief come in the night The legends of old you've cast away Are flooding back in your memories Nothing on Earth hides from our gaze The wheel of eyes see everything Heaven's desire burns like fire If you hate the light

Tagged by: @cast-you-dxwn & @brokendreamscreation ( It took me forever to settle on the songs for this but thank you very much haha-- )

Tagging: I do not know if anyone else hasn't done this yet, but please do take it! ( especially if we interact a lot, feel free to tag me lol )

[blackbird-brewster]

Euphoria

Jay (Trans man JJ)/ Tara || Rated: T || WC: 1132 Prompts: Lingerie (for @cmkinkbingo2024) and 'A buys B gender affirming lingerie' (for @imagining-in-the-margins Pride Challenge) Additional Tags: T4T relationship, gender dysphoria, gender euphoria, coming out

Jay Jareau recently came out to his friends and family as trans, but he still doesn't feel like the man he wants the world to know. Good thing his girlfriend, Tara, knows exactly how to help.

[Read on AO3] || [Kink Bingo Masterlist]

Jay Jareau was in an extremely important turning point in his life. He'd only recently come out to his friends and family, which was massive in and of itself, but on top of telling everyone he was now Jay and not 'Jennifer' -- he had also started dating his best friend and colleague, Tara.

The pair had been close for as long as he could remember. Tara was one of the most amazing people he knew and when she asked him out on a date, he'd been ecstatic. Before he realised he was trans, he'd spent many years being quietly in love with Tara, but he'd never been brave enough to do anything about his feelings. Now, he knew his inaction had been largely due to the notion that he couldn't let someone in, couldn't expect someone to love him and understand him, when (at the time) he didn't even know himself yet.

It was so freeing for Jay to be finally living authentically as the man he was supposed to be, but coming out was only the first step in the process. Ever since he was a kid, he'd dreamed of having a 'boy's' body and while he was slowly figuring out how to achieve that in reality, the truth was, his current outward appearance was the total opposite of those fanciful mental images. Other than chopping off his long hair, nothing else about his appearance had changed since coming out.

Tara had never really struggled with dysphoria, neither before, nor after her own transition, but that didn't mean she couldn't sympathise with her boyfriend. She was always happy to ask him how and where he wanted to be touched when they had sex, while also using whatever terms made him comfortable when talking about his body.

Seeing as her boyfriend loved when she talked about how sexy his dick was, Tara took it upon herself to order him something very special. She'd spent weeks looking online at any and every queer shop she could find that specialised in gender affirming garments until she finally found something that simply screamed Jay's name.

His birthday wasn't for another two weeks, but she was far too excited to wait that long. As soon as the package arrived, she'd called to invite him over for the night. She'd just finished wrapping her gift when there was a knock on the door.

"Hey, handsome," she grinned as she let him in.

"Hey beautiful," he replied with an equally dopey smile. He meant it too, Tara truly was beautiful. No matter how long they'd known each other, every time he saw her his breath hitched in his chest at her sheer radiance.

She pulled the giftbag out from behind her back. "Happy birthday."

"Tara, my birthday isn't for weeks," Jay chuckled.

"I'm impatient," she replied. "Open it!"

The bag was multiple shades of blue and the handles were tied together with pink, white, and blue ribbons, reminiscent of the trans pride flag. He got the ribbons off and dug through the tissue paper until he felt soft fabric. He pulled out the garment and looked at her in confusion, "You got me....underwear?"

"Yep."

"Uhm, thanks?" he responded, unsure of what else to say. Tara was notorious for giving thoughtful gifts, she'd never missed his birthday in the years they'd been friends, and while it was easy to forget most generic gifts he'd received, Jay never forgot a single one that Tara gave him because they were always so special. The pair of briefs in his hand, however, seemed to be extremely generic.

She let him stew in the awkwardness for a moment before finally letting him in on the joke. "Come on, handsome. I want to make sure they fit and then, I'll show you what they're for."

"What they're for? Tara, I know how to wear underwear."

"Hush," she scolded playfully. She took his hand and walked him to the bathroom.

"Babe, I don't think I need help trying on a pair of --"

She kissed him to interrupt his objection, when she pulled away she glared at him. "I said, hush."

She took the boxer briefs out of his hand and flipped them inside out to reveal some kind of pocket behind the fabric fly. "You get it now?"

He clearly didn't, because he was still staring at her like he was waiting for her to say this was all an elaborate gag. She sighed, "Jay, it's a pair of underwear that doubles as a harness. As in, you can pack and play in them."

"Pack and play?" he repeated slowly. His eyes lit up as he finally realised what he was looking at. "Oh! Oh!"

He hadn't experimented with packing yet, though he had talked about it at length with his girlfriend. He started running his hands over the underwear, exploring the intricate design with wonder. Now that he understood it's purpose, he could see where a packer would fit in the pocket and if he wanted to hard pack, the o-ring would act like any other strap-on harness, so he would be able to just whip his dick out of his underwear and fuck his girlfriend. The thought send shivers down his spine.

"Thank you so much. I can't wait to try them out!" He threw his arms around Tara, kissing her passionately in gratitude. He muttered a soft, "I love you," into the kiss and she pulled back to meet his eyes, unsure if she'd heard him right. He smiled and repeated the sentiment, "I'm in love with you, Tara."

"You do?"

"Of course I do," he replied. "I've loved you for as long as I can remember."

She raised a brow in intrigue. She'd spent years trying to get him to notice how much she cared about him and although Jay was a world-class profiler, he really was oblivious when it came to matters of the heart. If Tara hadn't been the one to finally ask him out, she could say, without a doubt, he would still be oblivious to her feelings for him. "If that's true, then why is this the first time I'm hearing it?"

"Because, I wasn't actually me yet," he responded simply. "How could I ask you to love me when I wasn't even me yet?"

"Well, as if there was any doubt..." Tara smiled until her freckled nose scrunched up with joy and understanding. "Jay, I love you too. I love all of you. I love you for the man you are. I love you for the man you'll become. I love you, I love you, I love you."

He blinked back tears as he kissed her again and for the very first time since he'd come out as trans, Jay Jareau finally felt like himself.

[monsterrae1]

✨Fic Rec Friday Fun✨

Tagged by all these amazing folks: @spotsandsocks (and thank you for coming up with this fun idea!) @littlebitofdiaz @bekkachaos @heartbeatdiaz @hippolotamus @jesuisici33 @buddierights

give us the links to your wonderful words with the Most hits/Most kudos/Most comments/Most bookmarks /Most words/Least words

Technically Till Now takes the first place in all the categories except for less words so I’m just gonna put it in the most hits and do runner ups for the rest 😂

Most hits: till now I always got by on my own (I never really cared until I met you)

After Abby packed her bags and left, Buck felt suffocated by LA and the reminders of her, so he throws himself into his work until Bobby makes him take some vacation time, Buck ends up taking a small roadtrip from Texas to LA, until his jeep breaks down in El Paso and he finds himself pulled to his mechanic and his adorable son, and somehow finds himself staying in Texas trying to help them get a surgery for Chris, when other options don´t work, Buck decides to ask Eddie to marry him so he can use his insurance. Sure things can´t get too complicated right?

Most kudos: you’re not my homeland anymore (so, who am I defending now?)

Buck thought that he and Eddie were in the same page, when Eddie starts dating Ana its very clear that they werent, so whos gonna mend Buck's broken heart?

Most comments: seasons change and flowers die (we’re still rocking side by side)

Two months ago their secret was finally pushed to the light.

Two months ago Buck's leg was crushed by a firetruck.

Two months ago Eddie had to watch the love of his life almost die.

And now, now they had to adapt to a million bumps on the road to recovery, affecting their entire lives in ways neither of them could see coming, but they had each other and they had their family, they could face anything.

*

Takes place during season 3, but there's gonna be a lot of changes to canon!

Most bookmarks: youre on your own kid (you always have been)

Evan had rehearsed this a million times, he was supposed to say:

My name is Evan Buckley, I’m 13 years old and I want to be emancipated from my parents. They had me to save my brother, and all my life that’s all I’ve been, spare parts, they don’t even look at me twice unless they need something for Daniel. I’m not allowed to have friends because they need me to be at home in case they need anything for him. I’m not allowed to play outside because I’m not allowed to get hurt. Because I don’t belong to myself, I belong to them, and I want to belong to myself.

He had just taken a deep breath to start his speech when his mother stood up from her seat and started to yell at him.

“Stop this nonsense, Evan! You’re taking time away from Daniel! He needs you; he needs you to help him, that’s why we had you”

That’s why we had you.

*

Evan had been born to save his brother, until he got himself out of his household. 20 years later, Buck and Eddie are trying to adopt a baby who was born to save her brother, and the trial opens up a lot of old wounds for Buck.

Most words: seasons change and flowers die (we’re still rocking side by side)

Least words: I don’t wanna wait my whole life through (to say I’m in love with you)

They've been dating for three months when Eddie tells Buck he loves him.

That's it, that's the whole fic.

Tagging if they wanna share anything @brokenribsdiaz @loveyourownsmiilee @cowboy-buddie @honestlydarkprincess @bigfootsmom @greyacebuckley @rogerzsteven @alyxmastershipper @panbuckley @shortsighted-owl @the-likesofus @jacksadventuresinwriting @satashiiwrites @mysteriouslyyounggalaxy @ebdaydreamer @exhuastedpigeon and whoever else wants to do this!

[cherryc1nnam0n]

Stockholm Syndrome

Chapter 3: What is that?

Chapter cw: Almost none, fluff, cute loving Loki, reader being spoiled, death, mentions of sex, talk of sex

After Loki told you what he wanted to settle you couldn't stop smiling, he was being a sweetheart

"But what about my family?" He looked at you and sighed

"They were found dead this morning, looks like your father beat your mother to death and then shot himself" Your face didn't change, you just looked down

"It was ought to happen, I always told mom that he would end up killing her..." you sat back on the sofa "Now she's stopped suffering..."

"I'm sorry dear..." you shook your head

"It's okay... I'm okay" a tablet was placed before you, on a site that looked like an online shop? "What is that?"

"That's for you to decorate your room, order all what you want, everything will be delivered here shortly" he said sitting back, pulling out his phone "Go ahead don't be shy"

You got closer to the tablet and picked it up, it was three times bigger than your's "So... anything I want" he nodded with a hum "O-okay I guess..."

You ordered what you felt like would fit in your room and other miscelaneous stuff, like books, a pair of airpods, after you were done Loki told you he would get you a new phone and that the tablet you were using was your's now.

After that you went to your room, where you fooled around with the online shops and ordered even more stuff, Loki said you had no limit so you did so

After some hours of playing games on the tablet and watching videos Selenne, your maid told you the things you ordered were there

"That was fast" you walked with her to downstairs where a million boxes were waiting for you "Oh geez"

"Y/n, is this all your's?" Loki asked examining the boxes, you shyly nodded

"Too much? I'm sorry!" You were quick to say but he chuckled

"It's okay sweetheart, I told you could get anything you wanted didn't I?" You nodded "Then it's okay, what is this?" He picked up a pink box, he was starting to read the name when you snatched it

"No! This is private!" You quickly ran upstairs "Get the boxes in my room thank you!"

"Was that a...?" Thor asked

"Yes it was..." Loki said sighing

........................................................

"How's decorating coming along?" Loki said resting at your door frame, he looked around seeing lots of plushies, figurines, books and even more stuff placed on the furniture.

"It's going great! Now I finally feel like I own a room all for me!" You smiled happily placing the last thing, you had posters too, but you intended on drawing on the walls

"So..." He entered closing the doors "Will you tell me why you ordered a dildo?"

You choked on air when he said it, he did see what it was, you turned to look at him and he was so close to you

"I uhm well I..." You stammered "Fine I ordered one, but you said I could get whatever I wanted" you crossed your arms

He chuckled, coming closer, impossibly closer

"I did say that, what I'm asking is... Why order a plastic dick when you can have mine whenever you want?" He said placing a hand on your cheek

Officially your face was beet red, was he saying he wanted to... Fuck with you? Do the nasty? The no no?

"I-I..."

"I'm just saying, the real thing is way better..." He pulled away "But I guess you could use that as a replacement for when I'm away..." He smiled and you felt your knees fail you a bit

"L-Loki I-"

"Darling, what part of 'you're going to become my wife' didn't you understand?" He placed his hands on your lower back, hugging you to him "Now if you want to wait until marriage for sex that's completely okay, I'm just saying..." He gave you that smirk again

"I just I assumed you wouldn't wanna do that with me so early on...?"

"You're right, I do want to get to know you first, but... I can't deny you're beautiful and that your body is... Perfect" he said in your ear, making you shudder

"T-thank you Loki..." He finally let you go

"Now, to start to get to know each other, how about a date tomorrow? We can get dinner maybe? Would you like that" you nodded "Words baby"

"Yes sir I would love that" he smiled, pecking your nose

"Good girl, rest now my dear"

This man was gonna be the death of you... He's so hot...

Well, time to inaugurate the dildo...