#wait those letters i the tags are not in the poll

[lashysdomain]

@mageofspacemultiverse and @memurfevur 's Oc Name ARG Data

for those who AREN'T me who've spent the last 4 days and almost every waking and sleeping hour thinking about this, here's what we have so far + puzzles i've not yet been able to solve

characters: [name] - (blog they're at)

arceel - (memurfevur)

how we found out about ynygme (from here on referred to as E). ex moirail, used to be known as Balerion. this is the name that E knows him by.

Ynygme - (mageofspacemultiverse)

We have found E's name. it's recommended not to say it, just in case. they're currently in hiding while we find a tether and figure out how to decode the spell we need to bring them home.

the subjugate video

one of E's captors. we've been told to hide from them, so DNI. please. i know, villian, but dni. summoned by us guessing S

the warden video (loud)

another of e's captors, 110% fucked up on this one. i didn't notice, both of these are my fault.

current puzzle objective is solving the spell to get back to E and helping find any parts of their body to create their tether

extra characters and unsolved puzzles/extra info under the cut

watch'r - (memurfevur)

bound to arceel, knows what's going on to some degree, will take gossip as a bribe for clues, unsure what he'll give. that's my bestie

For now we're good on clues, but we might need more soon?

matild kirada - (memurfevur)

gilf. who said that mentioned in the poem posts image, likely whos help we need to find e's body

unsolved puzzles

i'm currently still trying to solve these, but i'm at my wits end in a way

possible code could be from the polls, setting the positions of letters in another key the letters and their resulting poll result numbers are: e2 r4 p5 i6 c6 h3 (the letters spell cipher. kilant you bitch.)

p is interesting, and has the options of 20 5 20 8 5 18 which when put into an alphanumeric substitution cipher gives us "tether" could be nothing but that seems purposeful? every other poll has just 123...

the pastebin clues, found from the description of the subjugate video.

these are settings for the enigma machine. what we put into it probably hasn't been sent out yet, it's also a clue about E's first name more than likely.

as dr el fj ky mt ob qx uz wh I 10 1 III 17 2 VII 6 4

A grandpre grid from the watch'r drabble and following judgements roman numerals gives us a likely second set of plugboard settings for the enigma machine.

the rest of the settings were found on a past post leading to a soundcloud link

ap cm dv gq iy ne rj sw uf zk V 4 6 IV 6 2 VIII 16 6

from the tags of the last ask + settings for another machine from the post where E told us about their past with balerion. it's unclear if the setting for the third rotor is 22 1 or 2 21

RC EY BF SG JM ID LQ KZ TU HO V 18 3 VI 1 5 III 2 2 1

from a poll with some sort of poem? poem might not actually be important, but the poll post is here

vuypo xu klt syet ya g rukobq crmgp fpkose kkmexf wkzoec knm bwbx qgzkem

Jcif xgs aphwvx rxdgdk jc boyf Irmm g inbfjh b qrqqevn onmzf Mcuvh omeccn diegypgp

from E's latest ask and pulled from the captions of the Warden video. if this is the spell, we're missing the last third piece still

i believe it might be a beaufort vigenere cipher, but we don't have it's key. could also need to be spit through specific enigma machine settings. there are far too many for me to brute force, so we'll just have to wait.

the words that bring them together are likely just the spell, not anything super complex (well more so than finding it all)

current state of the reset conspiracy board

[latibvles]

Hi Poet! Just wondering if you could share some hcs about Inez and Alex? I love them so much and they’ve been on my mind lately :)

Hi friend!! I certainly can. I will be tagging @upontherisers for this, because they are sick and deserve more of them in the meantime. As i did with the “underrated girls” headcanons, I’ll be throwing these under the cut for length!

I think what is most special to me about them, is that they didn’t really… have those feelings until after the war. In the Stalag though, they become good friends — and partners in a way. Alex is good at drawing and Inez is good with math; as such, the map-makers when they talk about escape plans

A lot of cold mornings sandwiched together at the table, and cold nights too.

Inez was pretty conscious of her accent in Thorpe Abbotts (an insecurity she carried prior to the war) — it’s something she forgets in the camp. It’s also what gets them talking about home and where that is and who’s waiting for them on the other side.

So after nine months, it’s pretty instinctual for Alex to scramble for the pen and paper before the first of many prisoner exchanges, to write down the address he’d be staying at so they could write to one another.

He sends drawings sometimes and I do imagine that they’re scenic in nature. Sketches of the interior of his home once he moves out of his mother’s place. The plants that eventually need to be potted.

Inez keeps all of it. I don’t think they unpack just how much of a lifeline those letters are until later though (especially staying with her parents — their correspondence is one of the only things that feels normal to her).

Alex hates watching her go when she has to go back to Tennessee for a week or two and Inez hates leaving

Domestic routine there before they even talk about what it is they’re doing, here. They’re sharing a bed before they even talk about making it a longterm arrangement. Alex is wiping the dirt from her cheek when they’re planting bushes and doesn’t even think about it

There’s something extremely natural there. It’s “who would’ve thought it would have been you?” but also “who else could it possibly be, if not you?”

Cari once said Bless The Broken Road for them and yeah. Extremely real.

They’re scaring off each other’s nightmares without a second thought about why it’s so easy for them to hold & let themselves be held by each other in such a state. They weren’t sharing a bunk in the camp. It’s new and familiar all at the same time.

Alex has been eyeing engagement rings for longer than he probably should’ve so at least the nice man at the jewelers kept that one tucked away “just in case.”

He asks her to marry him maybe a month after June and Benny’s wedding. Inez gets all sniffly about it but it’s fine. He cleans her glasses for her after putting the ring on her finger.

Poll time? Are they having kids? How many? This question and more will follow me into the 2am mark.

I hope you enjoyed these, anon! :)

[midchelle]

thank you @raylangivins for tagging. putting this on here because when it comes to beatles rpf, i follow the policy of containment

ao3 first lines tagline

Rules: Share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written fewer than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway (spoiler alert: rules are made to be broken…)

i haven't written ten fanfics but instead of just sharing the three I've uploaded i am going to take this opportunity to be self-indulgent and pad this list out with other little fragments I've had lying around for a while

“Oi!” John shouts. “What’s going on here?” 

“You are not supposed to be here,” the man says. His English sounds like that of all Europeans of his ilk: almost RP but far more enthusiastic about his consonants than any limey. “Jacky and the Strangers were booked to play tonight,” says Lord Kraut, “not the Beatles.”  

John squints. “What Beatles?” 

“You Beatle, John Lennon.” 

people (@aquarianshift) have been saying that this is the greatest opening in English literature. you decide.

2. What did they say in a tale of two cities? The best of times, the worst of times, the age of wisdom, the age of foolishness. Et cetera, et cetera. Heaven and hell. England and America. How could a few lines in black ink read business as usual on side of that narrow ocean and read bonfires and death threats on the other? The best of times. The worst of times. At the moment, the latter seemed more apt.

3. "This album," George said dryly as the slide guitar trickled away, "has the distinct honour of being the first effort by an ex-Beatle to be rejected by a record company."

"They're good songs --" said Paul. 

"'We don't hear a single.' That's what Warner Brothers said, " George lit a cigarette. "Do you know what a single is these days? The radio stations have been going around doing polls and they've decided a hit single is a song about love gained or lost aimed at fourteen to twenty year olds. What chance does that give me?" Paul picked at the remains of his toast and waited for that's your target audience, not mine --  something else along those lines -- but what happened was George ashed his cigarette, stood, and said, "Alright, break's over. Let me try that guitar bit again."

4. Morning dawned in a flushed glow. Sunlight picked out red and gold veins hidden within the sandstone of the temples. The carved blocks, tapering into pointed domes, were darkened by a rain that had tempered a balmy evening the night before.

this is from the george harrison being sad in india fic i havent finished because i have a beginning and ending and haven't figured out how to knit them together yet

5. No matter how swinging London got, it could never beat Paris. There was just something in the air, the attitude, the cant of light. The food, the romantic old cobblestone streets, even the grime on the townhouses had a dignified, artful quality.

from paul and john in paris 1966 fic i probably won't finish because the paul voice in this is sooo pretentious jesus

6. The letter reads:

Dear Mr & Mrs Starkey

John Winston Lennon has had Paul McCartney erased from his memory. Please never mention their relationship to him again. 

Thank you. 

At first, when he finds out, he’s relieved.

from mclennon eternal sunshine of the spotless mind au that i will. probably finish. sometime in the summer

fini! i'm supposed to tag ten people but i don't feel like it so i tag: @thetomboyeffect @scurator and idk anyone else who wants to do it

[moral-turpitudes]

Borrowed Time:

(Pic creds to YouTube)

Trigger Warnings: Angst, Descriptions/Mentions of War, PTSD, Anxiety, Mentions of Gore, Sibling Cuteness. 

Word Count: 1,261

Characters: Thomas Shelby x Shelby!Sister Reader

Request: “Hello hello, can I ask a angst prompt with 4 and 17? Thank youu in advance 💕”

Requested by: @dreamwastakenx​

Summary: Y/N visits her older brother Thomas after hearing of his arrival from France, but just like the rest of the men who were lucky enough to come home, they all brought part of the war with them.

Tommy sat with his back against the door, the yelling from downstairs pounding at his skull whilst the sounds of shovels scraped at his brain. He felt his throat tighten and his ribs ache as he looked around the room which was still made up like he left it. It had been a whole 24 hours since he’d gotten back from France, but it felt like he’d never left.

John and Arthur yelled downstairs about the business details and who got which jobs, nearly knocking each other out on the cold wooden floors with the dark cabinets taking the brunt of their blows. The business was left to them, and their aunt was the only one able to keep it afloat until yesterday.

Tommy listened as their shouting carried out into the streets of Small Heath, knowing they’d probably find a way to make up before the night was over, preferably over a bottle of whiskey and cigars.

Being the more level-headed and clever one of the three, Tommy agreed to run the business alongside their aunt Polly, despite his own issues that he hadn’t had the time nor the chance to think about until he got home.

“In and out....in and out.” He said to himself while he tried to calm his breathing and his racing heart. The shouts from the men and the earsplitting sounds of bombs wreaking havoc on his mind as he sat in the safety of his room. He stared anxiously at the intricate wallpaper, not knowing if someone would burst through to save him or to kill him. But he sat there, frozen as the shovels slowly stopped, the images of the tunnels flashing through his mind as he looked on at nothing in particular. Staring off into space like he did on many nights while on guard duty.

Putting his head in his hands, he ran his fingers through his hair and cried. The memories of mere hours ago coming back like a tidal wave. The haunting screams echoing through the tunnels, the stench of rotting flesh-wounds and decaying bodies filling the air of the trenches, and the moans of the wounded men filling his every thought.

“You’re safe. You’re safe. It’s over.” He mumbled as he curled into himself, putting his aching arms around his legs and bringing his knees up, like his little brother Finn would do when he’d been upset all those years ago.

Light footsteps coming up the rickety stairs broke him out of his trance-like state, making him jump a bit.

“Thomas? Are you there?” A voice asked. It was one he knew all too well. A voice that always pulled at his heart no matter how hardened of a person he had become.

“Wh-who is it?” He asked just to make sure, his ribs still aching as he waited for a response.

“It’s Y/N....May I come in?” She asked.

“Yes.” He said, wiping a tear from his eye as he got up from the floor and went to pour himself some whiskey.

“I came over to see if you boys wanted to go out and celebrate a bit...“ Y/N said, glancing around the room, both of their bodies distorted in the dust-covered mirror hanging on the wall nearby.

“What is there to celebrate?” He asked, sniffling as he ran a hand through his hair.

“What’s not? The wars over, all three of my brothers came home, and you get to have a new career.” Y/N said optimistically.

Tommy sighed and stared off out the window, the whiskey swishing in his glass as he spoke.

“We died there, Y/N. The war isn’t over, not for me. Not for John. Not for Arthur. It’s still going on. No amount of peaky business can take that away...Yes we made it home, but we’re still haunted...we’re all here on borrowed time.” He said.

Y/N sighed and walked over to him, wrapping her arms around her brother in a tight hug.

“I should’ve came over sooner, knowing that you were struggling... I’m sorry. I should’ve been there to help you just now even...We don’t have to go out if you don’t want to.” Y/N said.

He moved a bit to break free from his sisters embrace, watching her face sadden a bit at the loss of contact. He sat down on his bed, a tired look in his eyes as he spoke.

“I don’t know if I can do this....” He said.

“Do what Tommy?” Y/N asked.

“All of this. Living, running the business, keeping track of my brothers and you, acting as if everything’s back to normal...” He said, looking up at Y/N as she stood there, her hands fiddling with a pocket watch.

Y/N looked at it and then sat down with him, resting her head on his shoulder. He still smelled of gun smoke and the rich dirt from the tunnels, and his hands were still bruised and blistered from the shovels.

“Nothing is normal, and that’s okay. You can do this you know...I know you can. If my brother can make it through one of the scariest moments of his life still breathing, then he can make it through this too. Alright?” She said.

Tommy smiled slightly, his face not used to contorting in such a way after so many years of grimacing.

“Do you get the ghosts in your head? Like the other men talk about at the Garrison?“ Y/N asked after a long pause, feeling him stiffen up at the question.

“Yes. That’s a whole different war. That’s why it’s still going on for me, still haunting me. Always will.” He said, putting an arm around Y/N’s shoulder.

Y/N held his hand, gliding her fingers over the calloused parts of his fingertips.

“How do you escape the ghosts in your head, Y/N?” He asked, his heart rate calming down gradually.

“After you left, I found myself lying awake at night after the most horrible dreams. And I would use that time to write letters to you...when Aunt Poll was asleep. I did it so often not only because I care for ya, but because I wanted to convince myself that you were still out there. That you weren’t lying dead in a trench somewhere. And when it would get really bad, I’d take out my pocket watch and listen to it, and watch the hands click by. I had it set to the timing in France so that whenever I looked at it, I knew you’d be looking at the same thing. It grounded me when my thoughts got too much. It helped me know you were out there. That’s what helped me with the ghosts in my head when all my brothers were gone...” Y/N said quietly.

Tommy ran his hand over her small one, still clutching the pocket watch. For once, he couldn’t hear the shovels.

“I can’t hear them now....the shovels...” He said, smiling down at her.

“That’s because you’re home Tommy. You’re finally home.” She said, giving him the pocket watch.

“Take this Tommy. If I’m out with John and Arthur or with my friends one day and the ghosts come back, I want you to hold this and think of the family who loves you alright? You’ve always said I’m your favorite sibling.” She said hitting his shoulder lightly.

“Oh, and you can change the time back as well. France is behind you now.” Y/N said.

Tommy smiled again, embracing her as they sat there while the sun set throughout the room. They would always sit like that before the war, enjoying the silence that her other brothers never understood. Letting them talk about whatever came to mind.

As the night drug on, she let Tommy go to bed, peering through the cracked door at him, to make sure he was safe. This was the first time in years that he got a peaceful sleep, all while clutching the watch like a lifeline.

Tag List:

(If you’d like to be added/removed from the tag list just shoot me an ask!) :)

@msbzowy, @nofckingfighting, @aranoburns, @sighonahurricane, @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes, @gaytommyshelby, @wowjeena, @fifty-shadesof-tommyshelby, @inglourious-imagines, @thebloodyshelbys, @tsolomons, @blinder-secrets, @reveparade, @shelby-fanatic, @ta-ka-shi-ma, @cai-neki, @peakyxtommy, @captivatedbycillianmurphy

[hopetofantasy]

Culture, parallels & meta - S2 E1

Previous season Prologue

°

Maandag 20:25

The ambiguity of this clip, showing us Zoë’s POV as well as Robbe’s, was intentional. Unfortunately, wtFOCK decided to queer bait us at that time. Their banner on their website even portrayed Robbe as S2 main, before the release of the second clip. 

C is for culture: 

"I collected your favorite easter eggs" - During Easter, it’s a tradition for children to search for chocolate eggs hidden 'by the Easter Bunny’ or ‘the Roman Easter Clocks who flew over’ in the gardens of (grand)parents. This is usually followed by a brunch with the family. During the weeks before, friends/colleagues might gift others mini flavored chocolate eggs, with praliné, pistachio, marzipan, mokka, ... 

"I’m looking forward to it" - It’s back to school time in this episode. They just had two weeks of Easter break, which is situated somewhere in April - depending on the date of that religious day. They also have this Monday off, since it’s Easter Monday.

They just came out of the ‘Wasbar’ (= laundromat bar). Still a relatively new concept, but slowly gaining more and more popularity in the cities. These types of bars are perfect for students, tourists or locals, who love to eat or drink something, while waiting for their laundry. At some locations, they even organize concerts and events. 

Hello from the outside: Right before the release of this clip, a Belgian influencer filmed Jana and Zoë in 'De Wasbar', at ‘the same time as he was there’. He acted all excited and tagged the characters insta’s.

Where’s Wally: We kinda forgot about Robbe’s first girlfriend, Maud. Whoops!

Oop, there it is, the homophobia / heteronormativity: Robbe immediately stopping his girlfriend from going further than just making-out and deflecting the question about going to his house. 

Nod to the OG: Robbe saying "Hell and damnation" about his mother being angry. This is a subtle hint towards the religion obsession of Isak’s mom, a storyline wtFOCK never truly explored in S3.

Perfect parallels: Robbe’s "Can’t we go to your house?" with Maud’s "Or to yours?" in S2 and Sander saying "At my place or yours?" in S3.

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Jana has the same phone case from S1 (the birdies!).

°

Dinsdag 08:25

C is for culture: 

"No, just porno" - More than half of Belgian teens don’t watch porn. Those who do, are mainly men, but a surprising 2 out of 5 female teens also like to explore. Though, this development has a huge impact on the average age to start sex: teens are waiting longer and longer to have their first time, due to insecurities formed by these types of images.

"Bedankt für die blumen" - A phrase the Pope uses every year during Easter in the ‘Urbi et orbi’ to thank the Dutch flower suppliers. This is used as a joke a lot by Dutch and Belgian people, because of the way the former Pope pronounced the phrase so weirdly. 

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Robbe was wearing his oriental vibe t-shirt from S3. Yasmina pulls off her hijab at the entrance, due to the school’s policy.

°

Dinsdag 12:52

C is for culture: "Vijgen na Pasen" (= figs after Easter) - This expression for ‘a solution that's too late to have purpose’, comes from the former fasting ritual before Easter. Back then the only sweet thing people were allowed to eat were figs. But the import didn’t always run smoothly. So they sometimes arrived after Easter, which was too late, thus defeating the whole purpose. 

Perfect parallel: An annoyed Zoë asking Senne “What’s your plan?” in S2, a happy Sander asking Robbe the same in S3. 

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Luca is throwing very annoyed glares towards the two lovebirds, Robbe and Maud. According to the FreeFest poll, ‘Beam Team’ is at nr. 1, ‘Blonde Ambition’ (Britt’s group) is at nr. 2 and their team - called ‘GRL PWR’ - is at three. 

°

Woensdag 18:21

Perfect parallel / Funny coincidence: Milan having sexual acts in the same room as Sobbe's reunion later on, both accompanied by a song of a LGBT+ singer. 

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Each shelf has a name label and they’re all filled with products by 'Colruyt' (a discount store). Milan’s one is almost empty, due to his money issues and Lisa’s has a gluten-free product with a post-it ‘mine’ on it.

°

Woensdag 19:42

C is for culture: The girls and Jens are going to a concert of ‘blackwave.’ - an Antwerp hiphop duo, who’ve gotten more attention due to their hit single ‘Elusive’ ft. David Ngyah. Their style is rather funky with oldschool influences. 

Hello from the outside: The hiphop duo (mentioned above) actually did have a real concert on that exact Wednesday 24th of April 2019 in ‘De Roma’ Antwerp. The actors went to this, put videos on their characters’ insta and made some pictures with fans who spotted them in real life. 

Perfect parallel: Amber sending a topless pic to Senne and him screenshotting it in S1, the beat girl doing the same and Jana encouraging Jens to screenshot in S2. Also, Zoë stating they don’t have permission to see this, foreshadowing Viktor taking nude pics of her without permission. 

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Look at these adorable pics with girlssquad and Robbe! 

°

Donderdag 12:53

Perfect parallel: Amber thanking the girls “You were there for me” in S1, her saying “All four of us are there for you” to Zoë in S2.

Nod to the OG:

°

Vrijdag 20:42

Perfect parallel: Jana saying to Amber that if someone spills a drink, her dress will be ruined in S2, Aaron actually spilling and ruining her dress in S3. 

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it / Oopsie: The candle letters behind Zoë says ‘Hapyp Days’ instead of ‘Happy Days’.

[heronwritingx]

chapter 1

here’s the heathney fic I have started. Basically, I was on the heathney tag one day and was reading about how they’d be unstoppable as an alliance and realised: heathney team-up school election au. pls enjoy and let me know what you think. 

...pls excuse the OOC Noah as I could not think of a better character for them to compete against.

Chapter One:

Heather pursed her lips and her nails tapped against the screen of her phone as she replied to the one of many unread text messages she had. Her eyes stayed focus and did their best not to stray, she could not, she would not be distracted! This wasn’t her fault. She was stuck here because of the most annoying and frustrating person she had ever met.

“Can you tap any louder?” Courtney snapped, her eyes sending sharp daggers towards the taller, Asian girl.

“Only if it bugs you.” Heather sneered back.

They were alone in the empty classroom; the teacher had left for some reason – Heather wasn’t listening. She took it as a chance to break the rules and check her phone. After all, it was Courtney’s fault she was in detention.

“This is so going to affect my chances…” Courtney whined, mostly to herself.

“Oh, please, like you have a chance anyway.” Heather rolled her eyes, “I’m already beating you in the polls.”

“You only want to be student council president so I’m not!” Courtney huffed, folding her arms.

“Not everything is about you, Courtney.” Heather said, keeping her eyes on her phone.

Everything Heather did, Courtney tried to one-up her and in turn, Heather found herself trying to one-up Courtney right back. Heather became cheer captain, so Courtney HAD to become to captain of not only the Debate Team but started running their school’s UN team and who knows what else. So, when Courtney decided to run for student council president, Heather HAD to run against her and win.

Courtney frustrated her to no end. She couldn’t stand her but…Heather would never admit it, but she found it fun. Courtney was a rival. Courtney was the only one that could compete on Heather’s level. Courtney interested Heather; Heather wanted to compete against her. She wanted to beat Courtney. Heather was bettering herself to beat Courtney. It was always about Courtney.  In fact, Heather enjoyed having a rival – she enjoyed that Courtney was her rival. Courtney was competitive, Courtney had bite. She had fire. She wasn’t boring or worse, scared of Heather.

That being said, their competitive nature got too much when campaigning, and they both created posters tearing the other down. Thus, that was how they ended up in detention together.  Heather still believed that her spin on Courtney’s “C.I.T” nonsense was funny when she turned it into a not so nice word by adding some letters.

Heather glanced over and finally took notice of what Courtney was writing. First, a completed apology letter about her behaviour and her regret in creating the “slanderous” posters about her competitor, and second, a list of potential answers to potential questions she may get asked if she was allowed to continue running for president. She really was committed to winning. She wanted this more than anything.

“Can you stop stealing ideas from me?” Courtney growled out, glaring at Heather once more.

“Stealing ideas? As if.” Heather scoffed, “I’m already winning without those stupid answers.”

“You’re only winning because you’re a cheerleader!” Courtney retorted, raising her voice but it didn’t take Heather by surprise – she relished in it actually.

“Exactly.” Heather smiled smugly.

Heather also found great pleasure in tormenting Courtney, she was so snappy and easy to rile up – how could Heather resist? Courtney just let out a frustrated groan and dropped her head to keep writing. She was writing so fast, Heather couldn’t help but watch. She’d been in detention for over half an hour and they had another half hour to go, she needed some sort of entertainment even if it was just tormenting Courtney.

Her lips parted when she received a new text message from Lindsay, her closest friend. She wasn’t the brightest star in the sky, but Heather didn’t mind her. Heather wasn’t so confident in her ability to be her vice president though. That was Heather’s biggest concern on her bid to become student council president. Lindsay, however, had sent Heather a message about the new poll results for the race for presidency.

“The new poll results are up.” Heather said, opening the picture on her phone.

Courtney glanced up and her eyes widened when she realised Heather went silent. She looked just as surprised.

“What? Am I winning?” Courtney’s eyes lit up and almost sparkled.

“No…neither of us are winning.” Heather took a moment to say it, her eyes still wide in shock.

She handed Courtney the phone and as soon as she saw the image, Courtney was stunned too. Not only was she not winning, she was third. She was last. LAST PLACE. In second place was Heather. She had about a hundred more votes than Courtney BUT in first place, was Noah.

“Noah’s running for president?” Courtney spat out, turning to Heather, “Did you know!?”

“He’s beating me…” Courtney murmured, her expression shocked.

“How the hell is he winning?!” Heather shouted, “Noah’s a loser! I cannot lose to a loser!”

“I’m in last place…” Courtney murmured.

She just sat there. Were her dreams really dead?  She couldn’t get in front of Heather and now she had someone else to compete with?

Heather froze as she heard the door open and quickly sat on her phone, Courtney still staring at the desk in a state. Instead of a teacher entering the room, it was actually Noah himself. He folded his arms and smiled ever so smugly.

“What are you doing here?” Heather questioned, narrowing her eyes.

“I just came to thank the both of you,” He said, taking a step inside the classroom, “you both decided to tear each other down and it just me the chance to announce my campaign for president. I was just waiting for it to happen!”

“Why do you even want to be president?” Courtney asked, suddenly snapping out of her state to be JUST as angry as Heather.

“Oh, that’s simple. I want to beat the two of you.” Noah answered, “It’ll be so fun to see your faces when I win.”

Heather wanted to scream and yell and maybe hit him, but she was already in detention. She needed to keep cool and not get herself into any more trouble. Courtney was thinking the same thing – they had to destroy Noah another way.

“Have fun in detention!” Noah sneered as he walked away.

Heather waited until he was gone and the two girls both turned to one another, eyes burning with rage.

“He needs to go down!”

[wolfstargames]

The Basic Rundown

There will be three teams based upon the fest theme. Participants will be given the chance to request a team upon sign up, but we make no guarantees that you will receive the team you requested, as teams need to be at least relatively even for voting purposes. This is, in fact, a competition, but only in the spirit of pushing each other further to create better works for this ship we all love so much.

Each participant will create a work, fic or art, based upon not only the theme but a prompt. Details on the prompts as well as how to claim them will be revealed after the teams are solidified. Then, those works will be revealed and voted upon in a blind vote to determine how each team did.

During the creation time there will be both team and inter-team activities. These will all be low key and completely optional. They’re just a way to spend some time with your team/fest participants and have a little fun to keep tensions low and promote a friendly sort of competition.

Once posting begins there will be a poll attached to each work, which will be posted anonymously, for readers/viewers to vote on how well the piece fit the theme of the fest as well as how well it fit the prompt. Those votes will be averaged for a total team score at the end of posting. Please keep in mind that these works are not in direct competition with each other. The voting is not meant to compare works. There will simply be a representative work from each team. Please be aware that team participants and mods will not be allowed to vote, for fairness purposes!

As this is a scored fest please keep in mind that all works are to be anonymous. We understand that this is slightly difficult for artists as style may be recognizable, but please do your best. This means that you may not share any snippets, anything more than very vague ideas, or any pieces or bits of your creations until after the reveals when the work is wholly yours to do with as you wish. We do understand the concern about posting unsigned art, so we will be providing a Wolfstar Games watermark for any artist that wishes to use it. And if you have any concerns about this please contact a mod and we will see what we can do for you.

Just remember, Wolfstar Games is about having fun and creating more content for our favorite boys, not about winning or losing. And most importantly, it’s about having fun!

Theme: COMMUNICATION

This means any form of communication. Anything from a story about miscommunication, to a comic about receiving a bunch of letters, to the art of telling someone they are loved through touch. Reading a book in braille, learning sign language for a loved one, telling a story through a collection of tattoos. There are so many options.

Time Line:

Sign-ups begin on Wednesday, June 10th and last through Sunday, June 21st, ending at 11:59pm Eastern time (GMT-5). Sign-ups will happen via google form, so please watch this space for that to go live.

Teams will be announced on Wednesday, June 24th, so please watch this space for more info.

Prompts will be available for viewing only on Wednesday, June 24th.

Prompts will be available for claiming on Monday, June 29th and will close at 11:59PM EST (GMT-5) on Friday, July 3rd. Prompts will fall into three categories: Word based, Image based, and Audio based. Each prompt will be available only one time per team, so the sooner you make your selections the more likely you are to get the prompt you want. If, for any reason, you are not available during any of the claiming period please contact a mod and we will make accommodations for you.

Works are due by 11:59 PM on Sunday, October 18th EST (GMT-5). As always we want this to be fun and low stress, so if there are any problems with finishing please just contact a mod and we will work with you to see what we can do. As this is a team competition there may be a small points penalty incurred for late works, however, so please contact a mod as soon as you can if there are any difficulties. There will be check ins along the way to see how everyone is doing and make sure there are no issues, but if something arises please don’t feel the need to wait for a check in to talk with a mod. That’s what we’re here for.

Posting begins Monday, October 26th and runs until we run out of works.

The winning team will be revealed once posting is complete and the mods have had a chance to tally the votes. Keep watch on this space for more information on that further into the fest.

Rule & FAQ

What sort of content am I committing to if I sign up?

For fic, the minimum word count will be 1000 words. There is no maximum, however, please keep in mind that ease of reading, which unfortunately sometimes includes length, will have an impact on how the voting goes. We would never dare to stifle anyone’s muse, so please write as the whim takes you, just keep that in mind when you’re creating.

There is no minimum size for art, but we would request that the maximum size be something that is easily viewable on a single screen. Again, we don’t want to cramp anyone’s creativity, but for voting purposes it’s helpful to be able to see the entire work at one time.

What sort of artwork is acceptable?

All art must be visual, original art. By original art, we mean that the final product must be an original product of the artist. Using photos for reference is fine, and you can use whatever traditional or digital medium you require, so long as the art starts and finishes as your own product. Photo manips are not allowed. Hit up the mods if you need clarity on an idea.

Can I use a work that I’ve published previously, or that’s been sitting in my drafts?

For this fest, we need all original content, none of which has been published previously. Since this is a theme and prompt-based fest, all creators should plan on starting new projects so they can be fully inspired by their chosen prompt.

Is there an age requirement to participate?

All ages are welcome! However, if you are under 18, your creation must be rated G or T on AO3.

Are there any other restrictions on creations?

This is a Wolfstar-centric fest, so we do ask that your creation focuses on Remus and Sirius’ relationship, though other pairings are welcome. All fics must be properly tagged with the appropriate content and trigger warnings on AO3. All fics must be edited, beta read, and legible.

Will I need to be signed up for any specific platforms to participate?

You will need an AO3 account for posting purposes. All fest info will be shared on Dreamwidth, Tumblr, and Twitter. A Discord chat system will be set up as well. All of these platforms, other than AO3, are optional.

Can I share snippets of my work on my social media?

Since this is an anonymous fest, we ask that absolutely no snippets or hints be shared during the run of the fest. Once the fest has concluded, you may post whatever you like to social media.

I can’t sign up, but I still want to participate, what can I do?

No worries, there are lots of ways for you to help support WSG! Follow us on Dreamwidth, Tumblr, and Twitter; reblog, comment, and share our posts to spread the word. We’ll also be asking for help with beta reading, pinch hitting, and other cool ways for you to get involved!

I’ve got more questions, help!

No problem, we’re happy to hear from you! Ping us on one of the social media sites above, or email wolfstargamesmods at gmail dot com.

[rightsockjin]

Day 3

Summary: Day three rolled around with a challenge to the contestants and the producers in paradise. A thunder storm. What will happen when Y/N is terrified of thunder? Will anyone care? On another note, Y/N has gotten her first date card! Who will be the lucky man to accompany her on a fantastic date? Will it be Jungkook? Taehyung? Seokjin? Jackson? Or it could it be someone who isn’t even on the show? Will it be forever raining?

Rating: T (For mild nudity and sensual descriptions)

Word count:13,758

Hey guys so...if you’ve noticed, we have changed the entire blog to match the multi chapter story that we are currently following on the blog. This will be the norm. So the blog will be changing based on what is happening in the story every so often and there will be hints in posts and in the headers for the members on the master list. We’ve posted a mood board as well so feel free to heart it! Keep an eye on the blog! Things maybe be getting pretty weird from here on out.

I had a question for y'all. Would you want me to write what happens on other people’s dates? The dates that don’t involved Y/N, I mean. I can do one shots of those as well.

Another thought I had is that I'd like to make this interactive. SO I might put polls up on the blog for future dates and rose ceremonies and things like that. Would anyone vote?

Thanks for reading! If yo want to be tagged please send me an ask!

Maybe I could do asks for the characters as well as like part of the confessional? let me know! (You can send questions in starting now if you want!)

~AdminKim

Last time on BANGTAN in Paradise!

Things began with Seokjin and Y/N:

“It’s a beautiful day. There’s beautiful women,” he winked at you, “What’s not to be chipper about?”

“Also…I’m hoping that the date cards start to roll in soon. I’m anxious to be the first to take you out.”

And just as quickly seemed to take a turn for the worst:

“Look if you’re not interested, that’s fine, but don’t pretend to be interested.”

Alliances were made:

“Okay so here’s what I’m thinking. Things are going to get difficult really fast and when that happens, we’re going to need someone that we can trust.  A confidante. A safe haven. A sort of uh-”

“A friend?”

Jackson’s face brightened, “A FRIEND! Exactly! Yes, that’s what we will call it. Friendship! No one will know that we’re in cahoots if they just think they’re friends.”

“Or,” you paused waiting for him to look at you, “We could just be friends? Just a thought.”

An old rival appeared:

“Y/N! I’m so glad to see you,” she said hugging you before you could protest. You patted her back.

“Marie, how have you been?’

“Swell,” she said, pulling away, “I’m so glad to be back here! It looks like we both got a second chance at love huh?”

“Right, I-”

But she wasn’t much more interested in you. She walked past you and hugged Jackson. Your heart sank. You could feel the eyes on you. Pitying.

A bold confession was made:

“I just came to say that…I came here for you.”

“When they offered me the spot here, in Paradise, I was going to turn it down but when they mentioned that you would be here…” 

 “When they said to me ‘Y/N is going to be there’ I didn’t hesitate.”

“I needed to see you and while I realize that right now isn’t the right time to talk about all of this, I just want you to know…the first date card that I get, I will use it on you.”

 Two couple were formed:

“Looks like we have two couples set up in paradise then,” Yeonjun said wisely.

“Looks like it,” Taehyung agreed. If you would have looked at him, you would have seen a satisfied smirk on his face.

And Kim Taehyung showed his true colors:

Things were going to be different this time. Taehyung would make sure of it. Even if he had to be the one doing the hurting.

Will the two couples last? Has Jungkook given up on Y/N? Is Taehyung a bad person? What did Namjoon write on the paper he’d stuck to the ice chest? Will Seokjin ever forgive Y/N? 

Find out NOW ON:

BANGTAN IN PARADISE!

The next morning, you forwent the heat for your hair and braided two Dutch braids on your head instead.You tied a red silk scarf  around your head, two bunny ears on the right side. You decided that you would put on your swim suit then instead of coming back to the room to change. The day’s swim suit was all black and scrunched at the hips. It was a high waisted bikini with a small top. It had thick straps. But it wasn’t chunky. It sat comfortably on your shoulders. It had a lace up back that you struggled to pull tight enough, but you guessed you would be fine if it was a little bit loose as long as you were careful.

The straps suddenly dug into your shoulders and you remembered then that you had gotten sunburned the day before. When you had gotten back to your room, you had expected to see the aloe that Namjoon had helped you apply the day before somewhere in your room but when you hadn’t found it, you assumed you had been right and there was no real way to keep it cold unless it was in a fridge. You had instead applied your own gel but it was much less soothing than Namjoon’s had been. He’d been right in that sense. The cold temperature was much nicer on your burned skin.

Now, it had subsided a bit, but it still burned if your clothes dug in too harshly. You sighed, and pulled on a pair of towel shorts. The sandals that you had ruined the night before sat sadly in a corner. Your dress was stiff with chlorine. It had been so late the night before that you hadn’t had the energy to go and wash it. You took a gamble on the fabric, and though it wasn’t pleasant, the color hadn’t been bleached.

After applying a thick layer of seventy SPF all over your body, you opened your door. Instantly, you stopped in your tracks. A Styrofoam ice chest was at the foot of your door, a piece of paper was stuck to the lid. You looked around as if the person who had left it there was watching from around a corner.

Of course, no one was there. So you picked it up with both hands and set it down on your desk, closing the door behind you. You pulled the taped paper off of the lid. The handwriting was messy and rushed. Some of the letters bled into each other and were hard to read. You squinted at the ink trying to make out what it said.

I knocked a couple of times. You must be asleep. Here’s the gel for your sunburn. Sweet dreams.

-Namjoon and his cute dimples

You smiled, thinking about Namjoon cautiously knocking on your door in the middle of the night, trying not to be too loud so as not to wake anyone else. You imagined him calling your name a couple of times, hopeful that you could come to the door. Then, when there was no sign of you, he set the ice chest down and wrote you a note on his clipboard filled with papers, quickly and messily because he too was tired, and he didn’t want anyone to catch him. After that he might have placed a hand on the door and looked at the peep hole in disappointment that he hadn’t seen you before he knocked one final time, and left.

You shook the thought out of your head and set it aside carefully. You had half a mind to fold it up and tuck it away somewhere deep in your suitcase. Your little secret. But you held yourself back, remembering the cameras in your room. You instead pulled the Styrofoam lid from the cooler and were pleasantly surprised to see that, while a lot had melted, some ice had stayed solid. In the small pool, floated the blue gel and a plastic bag with something tan inside.

You pulled the plastic bag out first. There was a yellow sticky note inside. You pried it open and pulled out the note. Again, there was handwriting but this one was much less rushed and much neater looking. In contrast to the first paper, this handwriting almost looked like script from the olden days. It was almost calligraphy.

So I don’t have to wake up early. Here’s your mic. You know how to put it on. Just click the button on the left until the light turns green. TAKE IT OFF BEFORE YOU GO INTO THE WATER UNLESS YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH ME.

-Namjoon, your boss.

You giggled, setting the tan band aside and fishing out the aloe gel. You wasted no time in applying some to the affected area on your shoulders and on your neck. You applied some right under your eyes, feeling the sting travel all over your face but you didn’t mind. It felt amazing. Just like that, your day has been made. You felt ready to face the day and what it could bring. Hell! You might even be blessed with a date that day!

You set the gel back into the cooler and put the lid on securely hoping that the partially melted ice would keep it cold for later that night then slipped into the tan band that you were quickly becoming accustomed to. You did as Namjoon instructed and watched a small light at the top of the mic light. When you were satisfied that it was in the right place, you smiled at your room one last time then opened your door to leave.

If you had looked back as you closed it, you would have seen the note that Namjoon left you flutter down from the desk where you had left it. As it landed on the floor, it was swept under the desk by the resistance it faced. It landed face down. On the back, in big letters was a warning from Namjoon that you had missed and probably wouldn’t see. It sat innocently, staring up at the desk as if it wouldn’t have changed your entire Paradise experience.

“Morning y’all,” you said as you approached the cabana once again. Jorge was already behind the bar mixing a drink for someone, his red shirt bright and blaring. Before him sat Soobin and Jimin, who was sipping on a white wine. His eyes were a little puffy and his hair was mused. Soobin had a plate of what looked like Chilaquiles.

They both turned when they heard you speak and smiled brightly. Jimin moved over a seat and gestured for you to sit between them. You acquiesced with a graceful bow of your head. Jimin was possibly the shortest man in the villa but when you sat between him and Soobin, you realized he was taller than he seemed. You were dwarfed easily between the two.

“Sleep well Y/N,” Jimin asked instantly, ignoring your wide, surprised eyes. Before you answered, Jimin turned to Jorge and called him over.

“Yes Mr. Jimin,” he asked, setting a pretty cup of something blended in front of Soobin.

“Can you get Y/N some of this wine? It’s really fantastic.”

You opened your mouth to protest but Jimin’s own glass was shoved in your hands, his smile excited now.

“Try it Y/N! You won’t regret it I promise!”

You didn’t have the heart to refuse him. The way that he eagerly watched as you took the cup and carefully raised it to your lips was endearing. You let a miniscule amount pass your lips. Instantly, an explosion of flavor filled your mouth. Your taste buds sang. It was sweet and tangy at the same time. It made the side of your mouth pucker slightly. There was a hint of strawberry and what you thought was peach with an undertone of the regular grape you were used to. It was then that the aroma filled your nostrils. It was powerful. Like a perfume but not headache inducing. It was fancy. Much fancier than any wine you had ever purchased for yourself and not at all something that you would have expected Jimin to like.

“What do you think,” he asked, bouncing on the edge of his seat. He looked like he would explode if you didn’t answer him in the next five seconds.

“Wow,” you said eloquently, holding the clear liquid away from you to look at as if for the first time.

“Right,” he half yelled, turning you to face him with both hands on your bare knees. His hands were warm and encouraging.

“Yeah oh my God it's delicious!”

Jorge chuckled from behind you and placed a full glass in front of you. You handed Jimin his own glass back and turned back to the bar.

“Thank you Jorge,” you said, taking a bigger sip of your cup, “could I get some machacado con huevo?”

“I’m on it,” he said, turning towards the stove near the back. You took another, fairly large sip of your drink then let the taste simmer in your mouth.

Jimin giggled next to you. You furrowed your eyebrows. You turned to look at him but Jimin was looking at his glass. His wine level had gone down a good amount in the last couple of seconds.

“What are you giggling at Jimin?” You asked suspiciously.

“We indirectly kissed,” he said fingering the edge of the cup. You blushed immediately. Something about the way he said it made you feel like you had done something indecent.

You didn’t know how to answer but you must have looked shocked because the next second Jimin burst out laughing, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“I’m just messing with you Y/N! You’re so cute,” he laughed, patting the top of your head a couple of times.

You chuckled awkwardly. You hadn’t exactly thought of Jimin as a potential match since you saw that Jin was there when you arrived. He had been your main target, but now that he mentioned kissing him, you were more and more drawn to those lush lips of his. Jimin didn’t seem to be chasing after someone yet, and he seemed to carry less drama than Jin and Taehyung. Maybe it was time to change your tactics and your target.

“Don’t feel bad Y/N,” Soobin said, drawing your attention over to him, “Jimin hyung likes to flirt. Especially when he’s had a good amount of alcohol.”

Jimin reached across your body to push at the taller man. Soobin giggled but barely moved. You felt your heart sink slightly. You couldn’t get the hang of these shows. You never knew when someone was being genuine or when they were just putting on a show for the cameras.

Jorge placed a plate of the prettiest eggs you had ever seen. A slew of tortillas were fanned out on the side and two little cups of salsa’s sat next to your plate. It smelled heavenly.

“Thank you Jorge!”

Jorge tilted his head in appreciation and you dug in. You hadn’t realized how hungry you were.

“I do not! I’ve only had two glasses,” Jimin argued.

“Sure hyung,” Soobin said, drinking the last of his own drink. You tried to ignore them yelling over you. You unattractively scarfed down your food. Nerves were starting to build in your stomach again and it made you feel hungrier. When your eggs were gone, you were still hungry. You could have probably eaten another plate full.

“Good Morning everyone! Your day just got better.” You looked over to the cabana entrance. Enter Kim Seokjin, his hair loose and wavy from the water. His skin was slightly darker than the day before. He was wearing a button up with white birds and some striped swim trunks. He wasn’t wearing any shoes and once again, he had a ridiculous amount of sunscreen on. Behind him were Taehyung and Jungkook, both glaring at the back of his head. You felt your heart drop.

Jin looked over at the nearly empty cabana, his eyes skimmed over you, locking onto your own for a second. He raised an eyebrow then smiled slightly before he looked away. Butterflies fluttered in the pit of your stomach. Was there still a chance?

But then he was sitting at the empty table and Taehyung and Jungkook, like a scene from a movie, walked by you without a word. Taehyung smiled softly at you. Jungkook looked at the floor. In your head, you thought he regretted what he’d said to you before his date. He’d seemed to have a good time with Marie. You were almost positive that if he got a date card in the near future, he wouldn’t be using it as he had promised.

You cast your eyes down to your thighs where they touched the chair. It was too early to start crying. Too early to get hurt or feel hopeless but things in Paradise were not going your way and you dreaded being sent home. Being unwanted once again. You squeezed your hands to try and distract yourself from your emotion. In an instant, two hands were on your back one small one and one much bigger one. You raised your head slightly and were met with the caring eyes of Soobin and Jimin. You hadn’t known these men for long, but seeing their supportive gazes made you smile.

“Min,” Someone said from the now filled table. Three heads snapped over to the voice of Taehyung who was standing and waving Jimin over. In an instant, Jimin stood, his hand still patting your back and hissed.

“Coming Taetae,” Jimin said, but he didn’t move.

Jimin looked back at you, an apology in his eyes and on his lips, but you held no animosity towards him, nor did you blame him for going to sit with his friend.

“It’s okay, go.”

“Are you okay though?” He asked, the sincerity evident.

“I’m fine. I’m just going to finish my breakfast. Thanks for the wine recommendation! I’ll be sure to ask you for some more advice on it.”

Jimin smiled but not the way he had before. There was sadness in his expression that you weren’t sure was because of your own feelings. Before you could analyze his expression any more, he removed his hand and walked over to Taehyung and the table.

You watched as Jimin seamlessly fit into the group. He greeted each person as if they had known each other for years and sat next to Taehyung comfortably. You knew you weren’t exactly on the show to make friends, but you were feeling extra lonely at that moment.

You turned back to look at Soobin, grateful for his support as well. He opened his mouth to say something but just then, Yeonjun plopped down next to him in the empty stool.

With an awkward glance your way, he turned to greet his friend. You pat his arm to let him know it was alright, then turned back to your breakfast which was getting cold.

You slowly ate more and more, not really tasting the food as it passed your lips and entered your mouth. You sipped on your wine as well as more people filtered into the cabana. Some looked refreshed, some looked a little like zombies.

When Alex showed up, you had cleaned your plate, and noticed that there was no room for her to sit next to her friends, so you moved over and took your cup to finish off your wine. You also moved your plate so that she would feel more comfortable to sit.

Alex paused, looking at you as if you had grown a second head. She said nothing as she sat, but she stared at you as she got situated.

“Thanks,” she finally said.

“No problem,” your voice cracked. You groaned as emotion clogged your air way. You shook your head, upset at yourself for not being able to keep those emotions at bay or at least inaudible.

With what seemed to be great strain on her part, Alex sighed and turned to face you instead of the boy that had so quickly become her friend.

“Are you okay,” she questioned, though there was little emotion behind the words. You didn’t want to bother someone with your feelings. You never wanted to force someone to listen, so you just nodded, then stood, drinking the last of your wine in one go.

“Are you sure?” She asked again as you began to walk away.

“Fine,” was all you could say before a tear slipped down your cheek. How pathetic. Why were you crying? You couldn’t pinpoint it. Maybe it was the way that Jin had looked at you. Or the guilt that you felt at not pulling away from Taehyung. Maybe it was the way that Jungkook had told you he was there for you and yet, he seemed content already with another woman. Maybe it was all three. Maybe you felt guilty for playing these men in the span of three days and hurt because in the end, it looked like none of them actually wanted to date you.

You walked deeper into the villa that was so cleverly hidden by trees. You followed a trail you hadn’t seen before but you guessed that if you hadn’t seen it, then it was probable that no one else had ventured this way yet. Everyone had been too preoccupied with each other to fully appreciate the resort.

The slope of the ramp, covered in trees and stones that were set into the sandy ground was beautiful. The sun shone through the leaves of the palm trees and out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a small crab traversing over a rather big sand stone. You smiled at it as it too paused on its trek to look at you. The sun chose that moment to shine extra bright. The crab was trapped in its beam. Maybe three days away from reality, on a metaphorical island with some of the most attractive people you had ever seen, was already way too much for you but was that crab giving you puppy eyes?

Then in an instant, a cloud rolled through, the crab turned away, and you were left alone once again. It was almost an out of body experience. Like the you on the show wasn’t the you that you currently were.

The emotion you had been feeling was flushed from your system, given you still felt incredibly deterred and somewhat hopeless. You were no longer on the verge of tears. Still, you didn’t feel like going back into the fray, so you continued your trek up the slowly sloping path way.

When you finally reached the end, you were presently surprised to find a palapa with orange and tan couches as well as a woven straw coffee table. A sculpted, sand colored fan spun lazily over the lounge, barely giving off any actual wind.

This didn’t seem to bother the woman who was lounging almost as lazily on the couch, her tan bare legs thrown over the lap of a man who also seemed pretty unbothered by the heat of the day. He was leaning over her limbs, a laptop on the coffee table, and headphones on his head. You felt like you were intruding.

If you turned around now then maybe they wouldn’t notice you. But you were stuck. Something about the scene was so domestic. Calming. Yoongi wasn’t exactly focused on Julie and likewise, Julie wasn’t really paying attention to Yoongi, but they seemed…comfortable. Too comfortable. It was the third day, and they had met only a short time ago. How could they be on this level of comfort already?

You couldn’t stop watching, partially hidden by a low hanging palm tree. Yoongi stroked Julie’s leg affectionately every so often and Julie shot him a warm smile a couple of times. Under regular circumstances, you knew that you would be incredibly bored. Wouldn’t she want to get to know him better?

You waited for several more minutes. Waiting for anyone to say anything. The fan whirled, the wind blew lightly. The native birds chirped and the rest of the beach seemed to continue to move but the scene before you could have been paused. You held your breath out of fear that they would hear you, though you were really far away. Maybe you were being stupid. You should just walk in-

“Y/N?”

You jumped. All the blood in your face drained. He wasn’t exactly quiet so the two in the lounge snap their heads in the direction of the noise. The palm tree that had been covering you was blown away in that moment, exposing you. You tore your gaze from the couple and gave your attention instead to the voice that had startled you.

Your friendly neighborhood producer, Kim Namjoon stood behind you, his eyes wide at how you had reacted, worry on his features. Had he gotten tanner already? He seemed to be glowing. There was a bright aura surrounding him. The wind that had exposed you, blew into his hair. It fell away from his face like in a movie. It would have been a perfect shot. A close up, with the lights hitting directly behind him. Maybe a pretty pink filter. Maybe beautiful flower petals falling or…maybe a flare of the lens.

You were so lost in your own imagination that when Namjoon said your name, once, twice, three times more, you didn’t notice. It was like you had hit mute on the world and his lips were moving so minutely that you didn’t notice. You were entranced in his eyes. The scene in your head. You were entranced.

“Y/N,” he said one final time and this time, you heard it loud and clear. It jolted you from your mind’s movie. Yet, the filter you had seen wasn’t fading, the light from behind was still present. Still surrounding him. You blinked up at him, realizing that he was closer than you anticipated. Probably because of how quickly you had turned and that brief moment where you felt like you might pass out because of the fright he gave you.

“Are you alright?”

You shook your head, willing your mouth to speak.

“Dude,” you said, cringing internally at your choice of friendly term, “You scared me shitless!”

Why? Why were you so prone to these absolutely cringy slip of the tongue phrases when Namjoon was around? He must think you were so embarrassing. Suddenly, you wondered if his kindness was merely a product of his lack of confidence in your abilities. Maybe he felt as if you would end up alone and his advice and gestures were his way of pushing you to look better.

Namjoon raised both eyebrows then his lips pulled up into a smile like it always seemed to do. Was he perpetually happy?

“Sorry, dude,” He teased, “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to get your attention.”

“Did I somehow manage to break my mic again? Already?” You reached behind you, tapping the little black box that was meant to be transmitting your voice to the editors. Namjoon winced and quickly grabbed your arm to stop you from tapping on it any more. His hand was so big that it wrapped almost entirely around your forearm. His skin was warm, as per usual and a little moist. Probably from the day’s humidity. You realized then that he was sweating slightly. That would explain the glow from his skin.

“No! Nope. You’re mic is fine for once. I was just sent to find you because I have something to give you.”

You tilted your head up at him. What could he have to give you? Your mind went straight to the ice box that rested in your room.

“Oh? I got the gel from last night. Did you get me more?”

Namjoon rolled his eyes, “No. I think that you should have enough of that gel for the next six weeks, though let me know if you want me to bring you more ice.”

Namjoon let go of your arm and reached into his back pocket. He seemed to hesitate for a moment but then with renewed resolve, he presented you with something small and crème in color. Something you had seen many times before.

An envelope.

A date card.

Your eyes grew wide. You honestly didn’t expect to receive one any time soon. You expected for other people to ask you. Somehow you hadn’t given it any thought. The idea that you would get to choose never even crossed your mind.

You took the envelope with a trembling hand. Your mind was blank. Namjoon let you hold the paper. It was light. Almost nonexistent, yet the weight of your choice was heavy on your sun kissed shoulders.

“A date card.” It was a question, so why did it sound like a statement?

“Yeah,” Namjoon confirmed, sticking his hands in his pockets.

Then it was silent again. The clouds suddenly got much darker. Faint thunder sounded somewhere in the distance. A single thread of fear shimmied into your core. You hadn’t checked the weather this morning. Would it rain?

Namjoon wouldn’t look at you. He was staring down at the ground, his sandaled foot drawing circled on the sand dusted path way. A salamander rushed between you. The air stilled. Awkwardness seeped into the surrounding area like a plague.

“Mmm…thank you…I better,” you paused, “I better go…ask someone on this date I guess.”

“Right,” he agreed but didn’t move or look at you. The top of his head was shiny. His hair looked so soft. You itched to touch it but as you reached towards him, another voice, a very much feminine voice, interrupted.

You jumped apart, both of you, as if you were doing something you shouldn’t be. But you weren’t. Right?

“Did I just hear someone say ‘date card’?” Julie stood slightly above you on the path. A warm smile on her face that seemed to clash with the first impression of her that you had gotten. Her arms were crossed and she was looking at you and Namjoon knowingly.

“Uh yeah,” you said, blinking owlishly, “I got a date card.” You held it out for her to see. Her smile didn’t change. She didn’t reach for it. She said nothing. Unsettled, you put your hand down, holding the envelope tighter in your grip.

“Do you have any idea who you want to ask,” Julie finally said. Out of the corner of your eye, you looked at Namjoon uncomfortably.

“Oh I’m sorry, is he bothering you,” Julie asked, snapping your attention to her, your internal alarm going off instantly. She was pointing at the tall man off handedly. Her face was a mask of calmness that directly contradicted with your own panic. Namjoon’s head snapped up instantly. You could feel the fear emanating from him.

“No! Julie, he’s fine-” you began, but were cut off by the girl looking over at Namjoon with a quirk in her brow.

“Can’t argue there,” She joked just as Yoongi stepped up behind her.

“I-what?” You asked as she continued to look Namjoon up and down.

“He’s cute,” she continued, “don’t you think, Yoongi?” Yoongi’s amused smile preceded his reply. He looked up at Namjoon, who looked rooted to the place he was at. When he looked at Yoongi though, he seemed slightly more at ease. A plea on his features was evident.

“Namjoon? Yeah he’s pretty cute,” he laughed as Namjoon let his head fall back on his shoulders, clearly annoyed.

“Hyung,” Namjoon complained, his usually deep voice now whiney and, if you were honest, it did things to you.

“I’m only telling the truth, you ass. Take it or leave it.”

Namjoon pouted but didn’t argue further. Again, you were left confused. How was it that Namjoon was connected to multiple people? Taehyung made sense. He had already explained that, but Yoongi as well?

“Anyway,” Julie said, waving a hand in Yoongi’s face as if annoyed but her smile gave her away, “who are you going to ask on this date Y/N?”

The attention of the small group was suddenly back on you. Your heart thudded heavily. A face popped into your mind’s eye but you felt it would be inappropriate to say in current company. Though why that was…was evading you.

“I’m not sure,” you answered somewhat genuinely.

“You’re not going to ask this one are you? You can tell me! I won’t be mad,” Julie assured, pointing at Yoongi.

Yoongi gave her an exaggerated outraged look, almost questioning and incredulous. Yet, there was no hurt in his eyes or real threat. It was comical if you did say so yourself.

“Don’t look at me like that, it’s literally the third day,” she said with a wink.

“I thought you had a nice time,” his hands on his hips, his nose close to hers, his lips pulled over his teeth so they made a flat line. Julie only chuckled and pushed him back with a finger to the very tip of his nose. Yoongi scrunched it up and frowned. Julie giggled.

“I did,” she confirms, “but I wouldn’t want you to miss out on things with other people. I want you to know, know  that you want to be with me. It’s too early,” she emphasized, “to know if we’re end game.”

“End game? Like the Avengers?” He asked, looking genuinely confused.

“No, like endgame relationship wise.”

They bantered back and forth, and all of the silence from before was almost made up by how easily they talked in that moment. And somehow, you knew that even if you did want to ask Yoongi on this date, he would probably say no.

“I’m really not sure who I’m going to ask,” you interrupted as Julie began to explain the basics of romance book jargon.

“I think I’ll go back and let everyone know I have one though,” you said, though you didn’t really know if you wanted to go back to the beach. Another, far away roll of thunder sounded somewhere offshore. Your skin stood on end but you did your best to ignore it.

“Sounds like a plan,” Julie said turning back to the palapa her and Yoongi were frequenting, “oh and, don’t worry,” she continued looking at you from over her shoulder, “we won’t tell anyone about…” she looked over you to Namjoon who had been silently watching the exchange since Yoongi shut him up, “this incident.”

And honestly, you didn’t know what incident she meant.

Namjoon sat in his chair next to Sejin. His heart was pounding in his chest from a combination of the conversation he had just had and his run back to the production sight he frequented. Multiple people were sitting behind computers, making sure the many mics on the beach were well and working. It was kind of dark and quiet. There was air conditioning as well so when he had finally settled, he was happy to feel the cool air on his warm skin.

Sejin gave him a look which he ignored. Namjoon had been messing up a lot lately. From the day he had met you, he’d dropped the ball. It was… torturous to say the least. Ever since he had seen your audition tape, there had been a certain magnetic pull he’d felt. A sense of rightness that wouldn’t leave his head. At the time, he thought the feeling had been directed towards you and Jungkook and he hadn’t been totally wrong. He had seen the footage of you and Jungkook when he had finally realized how amazing you were. There was so much pride at having been the one to choose you that he almost hadn’t noticed the twang of jealousy he felt when he watched you two kiss. The operative word being Almost.

He’d ignored it at first. Ignored the pang of longing he felt when he watched you getting ready for the rose ceremony. Ignored the way that his heart hammered when he finally saw you all done up and radiating a confidence he seldom saw on a show like the bachelor. And finally, he ignored the pang of near anger he felt when Jungkook hadn’t called your name after kissing you and telling you that he would give you a rose. He had to sit back and watch as you walked out, covered in tears. It was so much worse now that he had actually spoken to you.

He had promised Sejin that he could handle it. He could be the one in charge of you and he wouldn’t meddle in the outcome of your season. And he really thought he could. It was obvious that you barely even knew he existed and had barely any interest in him as a person let alone romantically, so he thought that maybe even if you knew of him, if he got a taste of what it would be like to spend time with you…he would be fine. He could keep his distance. Namjoon was a professional.

Wrong. He was so wrong. So wrong that it was laughable. Maybe not even laughable because of how mistaken he had been. You were funny. You were sweet. You were…real…and he didn’t even blame himself for whatever feelings he was feeling anymore. Still, in the span of three days, he had broken so many rules of the show just because he didn’t want you to go through what you had gone through before. He’d already gotten a talking to from Sejin on multiple occasions. He was treading on thin ice but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“So,” Sejin said as Namjoon ran his hands through his hair and patted his chest right over where his heart was, “everything went well I see.”

It was a solid thirty seconds before he had managed to process Sejin’s words and come up with something to say. Because what could he say? He’d done what was asked of him and completely forgot to ask if you felt alright. As soon as he had gotten in that morning, after sleeping in for an extra hour, he had seen you walking alone with very clear tears in your eyes and he almost wished for you to once again break your mic so he could go talk to you.

The perfect opportunity had presented itself when Sejin gave him a date card that was meant for you. Still, he’d completely forgotten to ask about your emotional well-being in favor of being completely awkward and submissive in the face of ridiculous insinuations by someone who had no idea what they were talking about.

“I got her the date card, if that’s what you mean,” Namjoon groaned.

“Yes, it looks like it. And it looks like you also managed to not interfere this time. I’m proud of you Namjoon,” Sejin joked, patting him on the back.

“Don’t patronize me hyung,” Namjoon begged, “I am perfectly capable of getting my job done properly.”

Sejin chuckled, “I know that,” He assured, “yet, you’ve been making a lot of mistakes lately. Lots of slips of the tongue, don’t you think?”

Namjoon didn’t answer. Instead he pulled his clipboard over to him from where he had set it down before he left. A jagged edge of yellow paper stuck up at an odd angle. He paid it no mind. Instead he stared at the new blank page where he should be writing ideas for new dates and angles for the show, willing his brain to work. To think of something that the contestants might like and would be interesting for the viewers but he couldn’t think of anything. He kept picturing beautiful night skies, and lanterns and picnics. Things that, under other circumstances would make fantastic dates but in this case, were much too simple and ordinary.

“Look,” Sejin interrupted much more seriously, “If it’s any consolation, if everything works out the way we would like, she’s going to be happy.”

It should be a consolation. He should be happy even if after six weeks he would never see you again. He should want the best for you but if he was being honest, he hated the idea of you with someone else. He hated the idea of you theoretically marrying someone who wasn’t him. Someone he knew…someone who didn’t deserve you.

“Yeah,” he said instead, “it does make me feel better.”

And it did. For about three seconds. Then he saw you back at the cabana with a date card and a very happy, smiling man standing next to you. It was only fitting that it began to rain heavily right then and everyone scattered. The weather sure was perceptive.

Thunder rolled through the clouds. The wind had picked up quite a bit in the last hour and a half but there was the slimmest chance or rain. Taehyung simply ignored the slight chill and took the opportunity to cuddle up to Kitty who had been inseparable from his side since the night before. He had to admit, this wasn’t his intention when he had cozied up to you in the pool previously. It was more so, his intention to get himself back on your good side and to show that he was, however little, interested in you. The girls had the power this week and there were so many men in Paradise that he wanted to make sure that he had one foot in a boat and one on a life raft.

Truthfully, Kitty seemed pretty content with giving him a rose this week and he didn’t exactly foresee anyone stealing her attention from him but at the same time, he wasn’t really interested in her. No, see, Taehyung had come onto the show because he had heard that you were going to be there and he knew very well that many of the other men had also come on for this very reason. They would be crazy not to. You were charming, beautiful and smart to top it off but he also realized that all of these men would be pursuing you. Hence, his need to find a life raft.

What he hadn’t counted on, however was your self destructive tendencies. Seokjin had been his first worry, if he was honest. He seemed very keen on getting to date you and you him, but that had fallen apart quicker than he had anticipated. Then there was the threat of Jungkook and his insistence that he would make up for his past mistakes. Truthfully, he hadn’t been worried in that aspect. He’d royally screwed up. He didn’t foresee him getting a second chance. That was why he had befriended the boy so early on.

It was when Jungkook had told him of his plans for when he got his first date card that he began to feel a bit of worry niggling at his heart. All had been solved, or depending on how one were to look at it, destroyed, when Marie had appeared. He had been relieved, then suddenly worried for an entirely different reason. With no prospects for whom you were to date, your rose and confidence were in jeopardy.

He couldn’t have that. He couldn’t let you leave. Not when he hadn’t even gotten the chance to properly speak to you. Not when…he hadn’t even had the chance to show you that this coldness, this- this fuck boy persona, wasn’t him.

Then a totally curve ball was thrown his way when none other than Jackson Wang took an interest in you. He didn’t seem your type. He was much too…big. Macho. He had the whole frat boy thing down to an art. He had almost laughed when he had seen him talking to you as you tried, in every way possible, to evade him. His laugh had caught in his throat when you sat on one of the outdoor beds that were littered around the hidden beach and stayed there as he watched you, as covertly as he could, while you surfed and laughed and later ate.

He would deal with that when the time was right. He stood by his initial judgment. Jackson Wang was not the man for you and you would realize that soon. Be it on your own or by his own hand. He would make sure of it. For the time being, he assumed that having a potential love interest would keep you sated.

Kitty pulled on his arm then, pulling him from his thoughts. He could smell the hint of rain over the pungent smell of sea water. While the thunder was far, he couldn’t help but wonder If the wetness he was feeling on his cheeks was rain or that of sea water. He pulled her tighter to his side, for the simple reason that he was leeching off her warmth. She smiled up at him happily. A hint of guilt panged in his heart but he pushed it aside.

Jimin was sitting next to her, his head resting in his hand as he spoke to Alex, who had seemed uncomfortable at first but now seemed much more relaxed as she continued her conversation. Seokjin was talking animatedly to Holly and to Jungkook. The group laughed occasionally. Obnoxiously. But Taehyung didn’t really care. He wasn’t exactly there to make friends. It was better that they all thought he was their friend. He was sure of that, but he was going to have a hard time putting up with some of these mannerisms.

“Hey guys,” the unmistakable voice of yours said, snapping everyone’s attention to the Cabana entrance.

You looked nervous and it only took the whole of the group two seconds to realize why. There was a very familiar looking envelope in your shaking hands. Instantly, Taehyung assumed that you would be asking Jackson. He tried to ignore his slight jealousy at that notion but then he realized…Jackson wasn’t in the cabana. His blood ran cold. Who else could you ask? Did you simply not know that Jackson wasn’t present? Were you here to rub in the magnificent date that you were sure to have?

His eyes shot over to the two youngest boys. Did you maybe want to ask one of them out? Maybe you had a Noona kink. Maybe they did? Then he looked at Jimin, who had sat up straight at the sign of what was presumably the piece of paper in your hands. He’d mentioned that you guys had had a decent conversation earlier before he’d been called over to sit with him. He shot Jimin a betrayed look over the head of the girl who was wrapped around him but the shorter man didn’t notice.

“I’m really sorry to disrupt everyone but I uh,” she held up the envelope awkwardly, clearly not knowing how to handle the situation, “I have a card…”

You could hear a pin drop. If he didn’t like you, he would be annoyed at the coy act you were putting on but the butterflies in his chest made it endearing. Could he be mistaken? Were you going to ask him?

Suddenly, you looked directly into his eyes, as if you could hear his thoughts and then it hit Taehyung like a ton of bricks. He was currently sitting in a booth and squished into his side was a very brunette, very possessive woman who was staring daggers at the true object of his affection.

Instantly, he tried to pry her off his arm but she was stuck. Like a leach. All the blood drained from his face as he saw your eyes dart to Kitty’s then at his then away once again. He followed your gaze and watched it fall on the group he had been watching earlier. Holly had a hand on Seokjin’s shoulders as if that meant she had dibs on him. Seokjin made no real move to get away from her aside from stiffening slightly under her touch. His ears were a little red at the tips.

Jungkook was nearly identical to his hyung. His ears were tinted red, his body rigid and stiff. Marie was looking at him, worry evident in her eyes. She had a smile on her face that Taehyung knew was for the cameras, which, if he were to look around, were everywhere. This must be an intense moment that the editors were planning. Much like Marie’s arrival. He could see multiple camera men and producers hovering around the group. He instantly searched for Namjoon but realized that he wasn’t with the usual camera man.

It struck him as odd but he didn’t pay it much mind as you began to talk again.

“Am I supposed to read this? Should I just ask someone?”

“Read it,” Soobin said from somewhere near. Taehyung didn’t care to know where. You, obedient as ever, opened the flap and pulled out the thin paper from inside. Your eyes skimmed the letter, once, twice, then finally you looked up and with a strained smile and read out loud.

“Y/N, I hope you’re hungry for some romance! Pick-nic yourself a partner to share some delicious conversation with! Your date leaves in two hours!”

You looked around hopefully, like you were waiting for someone to ask you on the date and not the other way around. Then, as if you came back to yourself, you shook your head and looked back at the letter. It was like you were building your confidence up. Taehyung’s heart thudded harder against his rib cage. Again, he tried to pry Kitty from his arm but she clung on tighter. She was glued to him. His hopes were unbelievably high. He had a chance. He just knew it. He could win you over if you just gave him a chance-

“Seokjin,” you said and it was like all the life was drained from his body, “If I recall correctly, you have very good taste when it comes to food…” you paused. You twirled one of your braids in your free hand and bit your lower lips. Taehyung could almost feel the nerves radiating from you all the way to where he was sat.

“Would you…maybe want to go on this date with me?”

Everyone’s eyes snapped to the aforementioned man. Holly was basically digging her nails into Seokjin’s shoulder. Her body frozen as she watched his expression shift from fear to shock then finally, flattery.

“I-why-I mean- yes! Yeah, of course! Thanks for asking me.”

He stood from his elevated seat, Holly pulled her hands from his body as if burned. She looked absolutely dejected. Seokjin shot her an awkward and apologetic smile but walked over to you. His thick lips pulled over his perfect teeth.

Huh… for someone who was pretty hurt only a day ago, he sure seemed excited. He’d done a full 180.

Taehyung’s heart sank into his stomach, watching as you spoke excitedly to the perfect man before you. It looked like the game was back on and he couldn’t phone it in for much longer.

Like hawks, the camera men and producers swarmed the cabana, pulling different people to interview. Jungkook was one of them. He wasn’t surprised. Though honestly, he couldn’t say two words about what he was feeling even if he knew every language in the world.

His interview went along the lines he had expected. What did he feel? What just happened? Was he hurt? Yadda yadda yadda…

It wasn’t until he was sitting back in his seat next to Marie that it all hit him like a ton of bricks. Literally. Well almost. The rain poured down from the heavens by the buckets. Thunder reverberated through his entire body. In an instant, everyone was on their feet and running for their assigned rooms. People were covering their heads. Seokjin and you separated and ran towards your respective rooms. In the back of his head, a voice spoke to him about destiny and the wrongness of your choice. He did feel a little bad. There was no way that Seokjin and you would go on your date now and anyone who would arrive that day wouldn’t even be able to meet anyone if everyone was stuck in their rooms. Production would have to shut down for the time being.

He watched you run to your room as he finally got to his senses and took off toward his own residence. Marie yelled something over at him that he didn’t hear and quite honestly, didn’t care about. His focus was on the way you were running. You had your hands over your chest, you kept tripping over your own feet and if he wasn’t mistaken, were you…crying? Had the disappointment hit you that hard already?

It was a second later that Jungkook made up his mind to go after you to make sure you were alright since your supposed date wasn’t anywhere in sight…he was probably off somewhere making sure his hair wasn’t frizzy… but it was a second too late. Past him ran a very wet and very fast Taehyung. He was sprinting. His wet hair was in his eyes and droplets ran down his perfect nose.

Defeat plagued Jungkook then, his jog much slower now. Discouraged. He felt a frown tug at his lips and his shoulders slumped. He made it to the place where the rooms were. A small ledge stood between him and the pouring rain. He stood there for a couple more seconds. A flash of lightning lit up somewhere nearby. Instinctively, he counted the seconds before he heard the thunder. It was five seconds. Five miles away.  

Thunder roared in his ears. Somewhere ahead, he heard a girl scream. His heart jumped as well. Finally, he realized that being outside at the moment wouldn’t be the smartest thing to do, so he ran the rest of the way to his room and locked himself in.

The air conditioning hit his wet skin like ice. Goosebumps pimpled on his skin. Without hesitating, he pulled the shirt over his head and let it fall to the floor. It plopped unattractively, making an almost instant puddle on the floor.

He groaned as the air hit his abs hard. It felt like a hard slap to his skin as the water dripped down the ridges of his muscles. His body stiffened under the temperature. He began to shiver. Every muscle in his body flexed trying to warm him up. His shorts, actual shorts he’d chosen to wear that day instead of swim trunks, clung to the thick skin of his thighs.

He knew he should take them off but his hands weren’t cooperating. They were balled into fists at his sides, his nails were digging into his palms painfully.

Almost instantly, he recognized another, much bigger--if he was in his right head he might have cracked a smile at his own thought--problem was presenting itself.

In his heavy, wet shorts, under his soaked underwear, blood had rushed to his member. This was the down side of having a pain kink. It, of course, didn’t always work this way but it seemed that something was really doing it for him in that moment.

He groaned again, shifting uncomfortably. Behind his eyes, flashes of girls began to manifest. He clenched and unclenched his fists trying to ignore the urge to do something about his semi. He forced himself to open his eyes. He tried to focus on something in the room. Anything. But there was nothing in the small room of his to distract him.

With all the strength he had left, Jungkook ripped his shorts off along with his underwear. He forced his eyes to stay directly before him then picked up his beach towel. He carefully dried himself off, avoiding his very obvious erection.

It was hard. No pun intended. It was difficult for him not to indulge in what he really wanted to do. Your face popped in his head like the erection had popped up earlier. It twitched in the free air. Your smile, your eyes, the way you fidgeted nervously earlier when-

And it began to sink. The thought of you going out with another man really put a damper on his almost fantasy. He let his mind go over the events of the last couple of minutes. His heart sank with his erection and then suddenly, it was gone. Jungkook was still a little cold but his pain was no longer physical.

Tears brimmed his eyes and he made no effort to slow them. Instead, he stood in the middle of his room, partially covered by a cyan blue beach towel with his heart in his throat. He’d made a mistake once again. He shouldn’t have said yes to Marie. This one, was completely on him.

Your heart hammered hard against the cage of your ribs. Your skin was soaked to the bone though you didn’t really notice it. You didn’t notice the multitude of tiny scratches that had started to appear on the tops of your feet as you tripped over yourself and stepped on tiny pebbles and shells that were a little too sharp and a little too hidden for your liking.

You didn’t realize that the droplets of water running down your cheeks weren’t drops of rain but in fact thick salty tears. You didn’t feel the weight of your braided hair getting heavier and heavier with rain water. You also didn’t notice how cold your body was because of the sudden gust of wind.

What you did notice was your door was firmly closed and the thunder and lightning were getting closer together and that meant that the lighting was closer to you. You also noticed how, even though you had been running at the, well… speed of lightning, you didn’t feel at all tired.

Maybe it was because, in that moment, you weren’t in your body. You were watching yourself run, instead. As if you had traveled into the future and you were watching back the show. In your out-of-body self, you laughed as you ran. The fear in your eyes was funny to you for some reason. Perhaps it was because you knew, somewhere in your subconscious that there was nothing to be scared about. Maybe it was because future you knew exactly what would happen in the next couple of minutes. Maybe it was because…future you knew the mistakes you were going to make over the course of the six weeks.

You rammed through your bedroom door, your wrist snapping, what should have been, painfully but you didn’t care. You wanted to get out of the rain, away from the noise. You wanted to hide under your blankets. You wanted to be held.

Before you could shut the door just as forcibly as you had opened it, another arm stopped it. It was then that you realized what was going on. You were forced back into your body. The fear intensified tenfold as the hand on your door pushed.

You didn’t try to fight back. You let whomever it was, push the door open. You stepped back feeling helpless. In walked Taehyung, his face set in an inquisitive expression. It was like he didn’t want to give away his real emotions. You opened your mouth to ask why he was in your room but in that moment another loud beat of thunder hit and all the blood drained from your face. Your legs gave out from under you. You braced yourself to hit the floor and were not disappointed. You butt hit first, then your wrists to hold you up. You knew it would bruise. It was already painful even through your stupor.

Taehyung shut the door firmly behind him then, as if dropping a mask, his features shifted in worry. He shuffled over to you and kneeled down, his hands on his knees as he watched more tears stream down your face.

Hesitantly, he reached out to touch you but you shied away from his touch. A flash of hurt shone in his eyes like the lighting that shone outside your door. Another flash, more lightning and your body flinched painfully. You brought your aching hands up to cover your ears.

Pathetic. You knew in the back of your head that you probably looked like a child. How attractive. Your vision was so blurry that you weren’t even sure if you were seeing him correctly.

“Y/N?”

His voice was soft, almost a whisper, like he was scared to speak too loudly. Maybe he thought it would make you scared too.

You took in deep breaths, trying to calm yourself down. It was just thunder. It was just a little bit of rain. Nothing would happen to you as long as you stayed inside. As long as you-

Another thunderous roar vibrated in your skull. The irrational part of you wept in terror. You pushed your hands closer to your ears. Trying to drown out the sound. You hadn’t brought your sound proof headphones. You didn’t think it would rain like this. You expected it to be pleasant while you were in Paradise. You thought the most you would get would be a drizzle. But boy had you been clearly wrong.

“Hey,” Taehyung spoke again, trying to get your attention again. His tone was so gentle, soothing. You wanted to melt into it. Your body shivered under the intense blast of the cooling system but you couldn’t bring yourself to move. Your hair dripped onto the floor. A puddle quickly forming beneath you.

He reached for you again and this time you didn’t flinch away. His fingers caressed your wet cheek, wiping away the tears and rain water that was dripping from your scalp. You melted into his touch. The bit of physical touch grounded you slightly.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, scooting a little closer so that his knees touched your shins. He placed his other hand on the other side of your face. He brushed both thumbs over your smooth skin. His own skin caught on yours as the water began to disperse and dry.

“You’re not alone anymore, Y/N,” he insisted, tilting your head up so you could look at him, “As long as I’m here, everything will be okay.”

The cynic in you wasn’t exactly convinced by his words but when another loud rumble hit, you couldn’t help but ignore that voice. It was possible it would help not to be alone…for once in your life.

Without much thought, you leaned forward and clung onto Taehyung’s waist. You were shaking. He could tell and he was a little surprised that you were hugging him. Up until then, he had been the one showing any affection and you were only putting up with him. Or at least it seemed.

Taehyung wrapped his arms loosely around your shoulders. The weight of them brought you back even more. You could hear the pitter patter of the rain outside, still falling heavily, but you could also hear the inhale and exhale of Taehynug’s breath on your wet neck.

“Are you cold? You should change out of these clothes,” he said, starting to stand slowly. He helped you up as well, still held in his arms, like he was trying to push all of your floating pieces back together.

You did your best to help him help you. Your legs were still wobbly but you were starting to regain some feeling in them. When you were firmly standing, the soles of your feet pushed into the cheap material of your flip flops, you felt your body start to function regularly once again.

The haze in your brain began to fade and clear. You looked up at Taehyung with wide eyes. Like you had just realized he was there and you were holding him close. Your clothes stuck to each other. You were standing on a pool of water. It was in that instant that the discomfort hit you.

You shivered again, this time more violently and not because of the weather. Taehyung held you closer, a squelch escaping your clothing. You groaned, slightly embarrassed.  He pulled away so he could look at you directly. At some point, your tears had slowed and you could see him better. His hair was plastered to his head. Strands of it hung on his face, darker than it was before, if that was even possible, with strands hanging in his asymmetrical eyes. Asymmetrical. Unique. Taehyung was unique. Perfect in a different way than the way that Seokjin seemed to be.

His lips were a bit on the thin side and seemed to always be pouty. He had a big nose, nothing too crazy but you had noticed it before, when you had first seen him on his season. He also always seemed to have a slight shadow on his chin and his upper lip. There was a little stubble there. Short and fine. Would it be scratchy if you touched it? His tummy wasn’t toned. Not the way that Jungkook’s was but honestly, you didn’t really mind. In your opinion, he looked good. Felt good. It didn’t really matter to you if he was toned or not.

“Do you want me to leave so you can change-”

Then it hit again. Behind the curtains of your window you saw the flash before you heard it. And it was like a punch in the stomach. It was easy to laugh at yourself when it wasn’t happening, but in these moments, you really felt like it was the end of the world.

A small scream was ripped from your throat. Taehyung’s eyes widened. As your knees buckled again. He held you up, then sat you in the only chair in the room. You were quivering. It was getting old. This fear. Why couldn’t you be normal?

“Do you have headphones or something?” Taehyung asked, starting to move things around on your bed. When you didn’t answer, he looked back at you to make sure you were alright.

“You don’t have to talk okay? Just shake or nod your head.”

Slowly, you nodded. He smiled a small line that added to his perfect uniqueness. Where had this Taehyung been for the last couple of days? This was the Taehyung that the world had fallen for…and one you could see yourself falling for as well.

“Do you have headphones?”

You nodded again slowly.

“Are they in this room?”

Another terrifying boom. Your body tensed.

With renewed fervor, Taehyung turned your bed upside down, searching for them. You wanted to yell at him that he wouldn’t find them. That you hadn’t brought them but you couldn’t make your voice work. You simply sat, and watched as he frantically searched. Then, with a frustrated growl, he looked over at you once again.

“Don’t move from there. I’ll be right back,” he assured. Without waiting for you to say anything, he threw the door open and ran out of your room. Somehow, this made it so much worse. Maybe it was because now the door was open wide and you could hear everything much clearer. Maybe it was because you were alone again.

A multitude of sobs escaped your body. Your energy was quickly depleting. You made yourself count. What you were counting you couldn’t be sure. But you counted slowly in your head.

One, two, three…

A gust of wind pushed your door open further. It hit the wall violently. The noise startled you slightly.

Seven, eight, nine…

Goosebumps erupted all over your exposed skin. Your brain buzzed with anticipation. You squeezed your eyes shut. You pressed your hand over your heart, feeling for its beat.

Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen…

You heard footsteps splashing on the way to your room. In your mind’s eye, you saw Taehyung running back towards you. Your fear ebbed slightly. You didn’t want to be alone. The sooner he got there the better.

You took a deep breath as the steps reached your door. They were heavy, and panicked. Almost as panicked as you felt. Ragged breathing followed, as if he had run miles to get back to you. In an instant, you felt his presence before you. You heard the door close and something was placed over your head. Something heavy and soft, that covered your ears. At first static filled in the noise, but in a matter of seconds, loud music replaced it.

There were no lyrics to the music. It was instrumental. Lo-Fi maybe. It was smooth, soothing. Your heart stuttered under your palm. The tightness in your chest began to fade. Breathing started to become much easier. Less labored. Without meaning to, you sighed in relief.

Two large hands landed on your knees, still wet from earlier. The warmth from them seeped into your body. A wave of slight embarrassment coursed through you at the display you’d given in the last hour.

Something soft, and dry was thrown over your shoulders. A towel, you assumed and it was then that you opened your eyes. You smiled down at Taehyung-

But it wasn’t Taehyung. Before you, like the time before when you were having a slight panic attack, Namjoon was squatting before you, his eyes worried, concern on every feature. And you wondered why you hadn’t guessed just by the way he’d once again comforted you the way that he had then.

He spoke without thinking, but then when you only stared back at him, he shook his head and mouthed, “are you okay?”

You nodded, still not completely trusting your voice to speak.

Namjoon smiled and pulled the towel closer around you, nuzzling you in its warmth. It kind of smelled like him. Like  wood and parchment and something soothing like cotton.

The door to your room suddenly slammed open. You didn’t actually hear it, as the headphones on your head prevented you from doing so but you saw it out of the corner of your eye. In came Taehyung, fear in his eyes and a bag in his arms.

When he saw Namjoon leaning down before you, his expression changed from scared to annoyed. He rolled his eyes but closed the door behind him. You blinked at Namjoon but he wasn’t looking at you anymore. He was looking over at Taehyung, a bit of shock in his eyes.

You couldn’t be sure of what happened next but Namjoon removed his hands from your body and stood up right. He towered over the younger boy but he was hunched over. Like he was scared.

Taehyung let the bag fall under your desk. You watched as he spoke to the producer. Namjoon had his back to you so you couldn’t even try to read his lips though by his body language, you could tell he was on the defense.

Taehyung seemed to be yelling. He gestured towards you with his hands but Namjoon kept his gaze forward. Taehyung looked at him expectantly then when no one moved, he opened the door and gestured out of it. Namjoon’s shoulder’s slumped but he walked towards the door. He stopped once more, said something to Taehyung, then without a single look back, he walked out into the storm.

Taehyung didn’t know what to think of the scene before him. His heart wrenched into his throat. Namjoon was holding a clean towel over your shivering body. You were smiling down at him appreciatively. There was a set of heavy looking headphones over your ears and you were no longer crying. You looked much more peaceful.

Taehyung couldn’t help but roll his eyes. He’d done it again. Namjoon had interrupted you in the middle of something that could have led to something more. He couldn’t understand it. On the last show he had been on, Namjoon had been nothing but professional. He was only seen when absolutely necessary and had even chastised multiple other people for interfering when it wasn’t needed. So why, now, was he the one making these mistakes?

Namjoon looked at Taehyung rightfully surprised. He looked slightly uncomfortable, as if Taehyung had walked in on you and Namjoon and not the other way around, which…in a way he had been the one to but that was beside the point. The producer stood up from his crouched position. He stuck his hands in his pockets. His shoulder hunched.

Taehyung dropped the bag in his hands under the desk in your room. His blood was boiling.

“What are you doing here, hyung?”

Namjoon closed his eyes at Taehyung’s tone. Somewhere in the back of his head, he realized that he was being rude and should probably tone down his theatrics but he couldn’t help it. He really felt like he had made real progress that day and he had enough competition on the show without someone else making moves on you as well.

“I can see what you guys are doing, Taehyung. She looked distressed and I knew what to do to help. That’s all,” he said almost in an exhausted way.

“That’s all? That’s all?! Hyung, this is the second time in three days that you pull something like this-”

“Something like what?”

“Something like a romantic gesture!”

Namjoon blinked at his charge, then looked down at his feet. Taehyung was breathing heavily, like he was using all his energy to be upset. He didn’t know what he wanted to hear from his producer but he needed answers.

“If you think,” Namjoon began, his voice low and dangerous but Taehyung was unphased, “That helping a woman who is clearly distressed to feel better is a romantic gesture then you have a weird idea of romance, Kim Taehyung.”

“Don’t turn this on me hyung,” Taehyung half yelled, scared that you could hear, but you seemed completely lost so he wasn’t too worried.

“Y/N came onto this show to find love-”

“I know that-”

“With someone on the show, Hyung! Not with a producer!”

Instantly, Taehyung knew he’d overstepped. Namjoon’s eyes widened, then lidded. His shoulders fell. He hung his head in what could be shame or embarrassment…or hurt.

“I know, Taehyung. I was the one who picked her for the show in the first place.”

A sudden coldness swept through the room. Taehyung hardened his expression and pointed out the door as he pulled it open.

“Then leave hyung. I have it covered,” then as an afterthought he added, “I actually have a chance with her.”

The pain in Namjoon’s expression only deepened. Without retaliating, Namjoon followed Taehyung’s gesture. Every step seemed like agony and Taehyung could tell that he wanted to look back at you but he didn’t. When he was almost out of the room, he turned to look at Taehyung and under his breath said:

“Let her know when the storm blows over that her date with Seokjin is postponed until further notice. Also, that I’ll come get the headphones later.”

He deserved it. Taehyung knew he did. But the way that Namjoon hissed another man’s name felt like a slap to the face. Because it was Namjoon who had chosen you to be on the shows and he clearly was a fantastic judge of character. And Taehyung knew that it was Namjoon who had gotten Seokjin on the show as well. If he was approved by the producer, then there was no way that Seokjin wouldn’t be a fantastic date and a fantastic partner.

Namjoon went out into the rain. Taehyung watched him walk away, the droplets hitting his hair. He was wearing a raincoat but he didn’t seem to care if he was getting wet. He was too harsh…but he wasn’t going to let Namjoon get in his way.

“Hyung,” He yelled after him. Namjoon looked over his shoulder, hopeful, for what Taehyung wasn’t sure but he was about to dash those hopes…for your benefit.

“If I catch you and her like this again…I’ll go complain to the director.”

And he closed the door without looking back. His heart ached slightly. He’d always liked Namjoon and genuinely considered him a friend. But he couldn’t risk his happiness once again.

You were looking ahead, away from the door. He thought he saw a single tear roll down your face but he paid it no mind. It was probably left over from the fear, or maybe from your hair being soaked.

He leaned under your desk and grabbed his bag, filled with snacks and a comfy sweater he thought you might like and a weighted blanket he never traveled without as well as his own set of headphones that he clearly wouldn’t need anymore.

He made to straighten but then a yellow sheet of paper caught his eye. In bold, clear letters, he saw his own name. He glanced at you once again over his shoulder but you were still looking away, holding the towel to your body. He picked up the paper and read:

Be careful with Kim Taehyung

His heart sank. He knew the hand writing. So it seemed that Namjoon was trying to sabotage him. This made him feel better about what he had said to him. Had you read this already? He wasn’t sure, but he didn’t want to take any chances. He crumpled the paper and tucked it in his pants pocket which was still wet, but who cared if the paper disintegrated?

He wasn’t going to take any chances.

It rained for the rest of the day. The thunder and lightning had stopped after the first two hours and you were able to take off the headphones that Namjoon gave you then. You parted with the towel reluctantly when Taehyung had left to change and told you that he had brought you a sweater of his to wear if you wanted.

You did, in fact, put it on. It was incredibly big and hit somewhere near your midthigh. You decided to put on a pair of comfortable sweat shorts under and then pulled out the other things in the bag. It was strangely heavy. The mystery of why that was was quickly solved when you pulled out an extremely thick, dark blue blanket. Then you saw the snacks and a pair of headphones that he had probably brought for you.

He was sweet. You were really glad he had noticed something was wrong, though you weren’t sure how he knew. It was nice to not be alone during one of your episodes. It made you feel warm inside that he seemed to actually care. The idea of Kitty briefly crossed your mind but he wasn’t with Kitty was he?

You felt giddy. On cloud nine. When there was a knock on your door, you jumped at the chance to speak to Taehyung again.

Alas, once again, you were wrong about the identity of the person at your door. Your heart stopped when Seokjin was the one standing at your door. You felt sleazy. Like he’d caught you cheating on him with another guy. Not that that was possible since you weren’t exactly dating but that didn’t help in the slightest. On top of that, Taehyung was probably on the way back as well.

“S-Seokjin?”

“Who else did you expect, baby?” He asked with a slight chuckle. Then he saw what you were wearing and his face fell.

“Oh…did I interrupt something?”

“No!” you practically yelled opening the door wider, “I’m alone. I-”

How do you even begin to explain what had just happened? It was incredibly embarrassing.

“So is that sweater yours then?”

Seokjin didn’t wait for an answer. He walked into the room with all the confidence in the world. His eyes skimmed the space. The puddle on the floor and the snacks on the bed.

“What were you doing? Were you going to watch movies or something like that?”

“I um…”

“Can I join you? I just got word from the production staff that our date would be postponed until the weather got better. Still, I’d like to spend the rest of the day with you if that’s alright? Think of it like a pre date!”

He looked so excited. So happy. How could you possibly say no?

You smiled at him, about to agree when another knock drew your attention. Seokjin raised an eyebrow then without asking, he walked over to the door and pulled it open.

Enter Kim Taehyung, his hair slightly more dry and in a pair of pjs dotted with what looked like hearts.

“Taehyung-ah,” Seokjin asked.

“Hyungnim? What are you doing here?”

“Y/N and I were just about to watch some movies together. Why are you here? In your pajamas?”

Taehyung gave you a look over Seokjin’s shoulder but you said nothing. Guilt filled you to the brim. You felt like you were leading these two men on and yet… they were doing the same. With Kitty and Holly. Should you even feel bad?

“Movies?”

“Yeah… so if you could just come back later then-”

“Sounds fun,” Taehyung cut him off with a satisfied smirk, “count me in.”

Taehyung pushed his way past the older man who looked at you incredulously. You groaned, shrugged your shoulders and looked at the younger man.

“What are we watching Y/N?”

Taehyung made himself comfortable in your bed, leaning against the white wall. He pat the spot next to him so that you would sit down. You awkwardly did as he asked and Taehyung  took that opportunity to wrap you in the weighted blanket. You felt your body relax almost instantly. He kept his arm around your shoulders, he gave Seokjin a pointed look.

“You feel better right?”

“Better?” Seokjin asked, looking at you as if he just realized you had grown a second head.

“What happened?”

He sat on your other side and pushed Taehyung’s arm off of your shoulders. He twisted you so that you were looking at him. He looked concerned.

“I’m alright Seokjin,” you said with a shrug.

“She’s scared of thunder, hyung. She was having a hard time a little bit ago. Luckily, I noticed and helped her out. Right Y/N?”

“Scared of… Y/N is that true?”

You couldn’t bear the pity in Seokjin’s eyes. You shook your head.

“Can we not talk about it please?”

“Whatever make you the most comfortable Y/n,” Taehyung said pulling you so that your back was against his chest. You widened your eyes at Jin and tried to sit up but Taehyung held you protectively against his chest.

“If you want to talk about it, let me know okay,” Seokjin said, his voice soft. You nodded, trying again without success to pull away from Taehyung.

“So,” Seokjin said, clearly trying to ignore the way that Taehyung seemed to be marking his territory, “What movie should we watch first?”

It was hours later, when the sun had begun to set that you had fallen asleep. Taehyung had your head on his shoulder and Seokjin was stroking your legs comfortingly. Neither men said a thing as the third movie you were watching slowly came to a close. The closing credits began to roll. An old 80’s song played in the background.

It was only when it was completely silent and almost completely dark that Seokjin decided to speak.

“Taehyung-ah, I really think that we should have a conversation about this situation. Like adults.”

Taehyung sighed. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to one of his rivals but your weight, along with the weight of his blanket were pinning him to the spot. He didn’t have a choice.

“What is it hyung?”

Seokjin sighed. It was a couple of seconds before he spoke again.

“It’s clear that we both have taken a liking to Y/N. We don’t have to be petty about all of this. At the end of the day, Y/N is going to be the one to choose who she wants. On top of that, it’s clear that Jungkook also harbors some feelings for her. I think we can all agree that we don’t want to make things difficult for her.”

“Right… so what are you suggesting? We don’t pursue her?”

“Of course not!” Jin whispered.

“Let’s just do our best to not make her feel bad for whomever she chooses.”

“Oh,” said Taehyung, not sure what to say.

“Yeah…well, it’s getting to be dark and it looks like she had a hard day. We should leave her to rest don’t you think?”

Taehyung felt the bed dip and then in the darkness he saw the outline of his hyung. He didn’t want to leave, but at the same time, he didn’t want to stay the night if you hadn’t expressed he could.

“You’re right hyung. You go ahead. I’ll be out in a bit.”

“Sounds sketchy… but I’m going to trust you Kim Taehyung. Have a good night.”

“You too hyung.”

And he left. Taehyung sighed. It had been a really trying day for everyone involved. As you breathed deeply, he felt you sigh and cuddle into him further. He melted. His resolve to leave was almost dashed but then he thought of your reaction of the next morning and he knew he must leave.

With careful movements, he maneuvered you onto the pillow. You groaned at the level change but cuddled into his blanket further. In the nearly perfect darkness, he could barely make out a small smile on your lips. Your breathing even and calm. A complete one eighty from earlier that day. He wanted to be the reason for that smile. He prayed he was the reason.

A smile of his own made its way onto his lips. He hadn’t felt so at peace in a while. He made to leave but with a second thought, he leaned down and planted a soft kiss to your forehead. You sighed happily. A blush covered his cheeks.

“Please,” he whispered into your ear, knowing you wouldn’t actually hear him but hoping you might dream of him if you heard his voice, “pick me.”

After a couple of seconds, he straightened and walked towards the door. He reached for the doorknob, satisfied with the day when he heard you moan in your sleep. He froze, wondering if he’d woken you.

Another soft moan, softer than the last but this time it sounded like a word. He waited, in case you said something again.

“Okay,” you groaned followed by soft snores. And Taehyung couldn’t stop smiling.

Taglist: @embrace-themagic​ @monvieesdaebak

[verai-marcel]

The Pure Taste of You (RDR2 Fanfic, Incubus!Arthur x F!Reader, 18+)

Summary: After the greatest night of your life, you wake up to a promise. As time goes on, do you still believe in that promise? How far will you go to find out?

Author’s Notes: The Sweet Taste of You won the poll for getting a sequel fic; this starts right after you wake up.

Tags: spoilers for chapter 4 onwards, incubus Arthur, high honor Arthur, emotions or some shit, angst, smut, HEA

AO3 link is here, sweetheart.

Word Count: 4466

--------------------

You awoke to someone stroking your head, a soft song wafting through the air. There were no words, but it sounded like a sweet melody, one that felt like love and devotion. Blinking your eyes as you got accustomed to the morning sun, you turned your head towards the voice.

Arthur was sitting on the edge of your bed, fully clothed, as if he were waiting for you to wake up.

“G’mornin’, darlin’.”

“Morning, Arthur,” you said, your voice cracking a little. “Are you leaving?”

He nodded, looking solemn. This got your attention, so you sat up in bed and gave him your full attention.

“I want you to know that I have e’rey intention of making you mine. I’ll be doin’ some jobs that take me farther away, but I will come back to you.” He leaned in to kiss your forehead, cupping your cheek in his big, warm hand. “But if two months pass and I ain’t back, well…”

You grabbed his hand. “I don’t want to think about that. I’ll wait for you.”

He smiled. “Thank you,” he said reverently as he brought your hand to his lips, your promise to wait meaning the world to him.

***

It had been two months. At first, you got a letter every other day, with him telling you how he was doing, and usually the letter was accompanied by a sketch from him of a building or an animal, something to remind you of him. Then a few days would pass before you got another letter. Then a week.

Then nothing. A whole month passed with no contact. You hoped that he was too busy to get to a post office. But deep down, you had a sinking feeling, a dread so heavy it weighed down your heart.

The dreams didn’t help. Jungles and gunfire, running, always running, and a cough that racked you through to your very soul. Then a mountain cave, and a lot of anger and helplessness. But within all those swirling emotions was a strong feeling of purpose, like you were trying to reach for something, and you couldn’t give up that hope because it was the only thing keeping you going.

You weren’t one for believing in the supernatural, but your dreams were so vivid and yet very much not yours that you wondered if you were seeing things from Arthur’s side.

That only made you worry more.

***

His chest had never felt heavier. It hurt to move, to breathe, to even exist.

Yet despite his best efforts, he continued to do so, driven by just one thing.

He spoke a name in barely a whisper, so faint that even he thought he imagined it. The name carried on the wind, and he hoped and prayed like a fool that he would be forgiven.

***

You woke up in a cold sweat. You swear you heard Arthur whisper your name, and bolted upright in your bed, looking around, hoping it was him. Instead, your room was silent, as if to mock you for thinking he’d come back.

Five days ago, your head started to hurt. You thought maybe it was all the crying that had caused the pain. But you started to notice that whenever you walked in a certain direction, the pain ebbed, and whenever you walked in any other direction, the pain returned. The exact direction changed every day, but always, always, when you were going northwards, you felt better, as if you were being drawn somewhere.

Today, the pain was particularly bad. As the sun began to set, you looked out the window, and your head cleared for just a moment, long enough to hear something.

You heard your name.

“I’m going crazy,” you muttered to yourself, turning back to your work. Then the ache in your head spiked. You maneuvered yourself around quickly to face north, and you breathed slowly as the pounding lessened. 

This was insane. 

A thought came into your head and it evolved into an idea, then a fully-fledged plan. You were about to do something out of the ordinary, but you were sick of this headache, sick of worrying about Arthur, and sick of not doing anything about it.

You wanted to know.

After you finished the last of the linens, you ran home, pulled all of your saved cash out from under your mattress, and put together a day bag: some dried meat, a bread roll, a canteen of water, a scarf, and a small pistol that Arthur had left you for your protection. Leaving your place and practically running to the livery stable, you hoped that they would still be open this late.

You arrived just before they closed and breathed a sigh of relief.

***

After renting a horse, using your savings as collateral, you made your way north, following the road until your headache increased. Then you just went whichever way you needed to go, turning this way and that, off the paths, across streams, up and down the rocky hillsides. You were grateful that you grew up on a farm and knew how to handle a horse. Part of you missed that life, but if you hadn’t run away when you had, you’d be dead and you would have never met Arthur.

You shudder at what could have been.

The night passed by as you spent hours traveling in a strange direction that led you to a tall mountain in Ambarino just as the sun was rising. Your headache was almost gone, but your heart was racing. Why were you being led here? You looked around; halfway up the hillside, you could see people leaving on a path below, some carrying out dead men, as if some kind of battle had been waged here. You urged your horse away, not wanting to be stopped. You were so close to where you needed to be. You could feel it deep in your heart.

Making your way up the steep hillside, the soft light of dawn illuminating your path, you saw that the path was becoming too narrow for a horse, and hitched her on a tree nearby before starting the climb. Over rocks and boulders, you clambered and scrambled until you reached a flat area where your headache disappeared.

And your heart stopped.

“Arthur!”

***

His eyes could not open. He wanted to see, even if he knew he’d be disappointed. He knew she wasn’t here; there was no way for her to have found him, way up here in the mountains. He imagined her voice was tinged with worry as she yelled his name. Were her cries getting louder? Maybe he was in hell, to be forever tortured by the voice of his beloved, unable to see her, touch her, taste her.

He would deserve it, for all that he had done.

Arthur’s chest rattled, desperately trying to breathe. He had gone for too long without feeding. The doctor had told him he had tuberculosis, but he knew what this was. Wasting away from the inside without the love he needed to survive, but he had no time to go to her. 

No time. 

There was no time.

He felt a hand on his. Felt a drop of water on his dry lips, salty and sad. Still, he could not open his eyes.

Then a kiss.

As if pure sunlight was being poured into his mouth, he gasped. 

And he drank.

And drank.

***

At first his lips were cold as you kissed him, finding your darling Arthur on this cold mountainside, his face pale, his features sunken. You poured all of your love into this one final kiss, wanting him to know how much you cared, even if you had only known him for a short time. 

So when his lips moved against yours and became warm under your touch, you gave him everything. You hoped for a miracle as you kissed him more and more.

You grew tired. Your arms wrapped around his body, as if to protect him from the world while you kept kissing him.

You became cold, so you snuggled closer to him as his body grew warmer.

You opened your eyes at the same time he opened his.

He rasped your name and smiled.

You smiled back.

And then you saw no more.

***

You awoke in a bed. Looking around, you figured you were in some kind of cabin. The birds chirping outside, the sound of the wind through the trees, and the trickle of water nearby was so idyllic that you almost forgot how you got here.

In fact, you had no recollection of how you got here.

Stumbling out of bed, you noted you were wearing a sheer sleeping gown, soft and comfortable. You felt like a sleeping princess as you carefully made your way towards the front door, the wood floor cold against your bare feet. You felt weak, every breath you took seemed to rattle in your rib cage, and your stomach growled with hunger. Seeing an apple on the table next to the small kitchen, you grabbed it and devoured it as you finally stepped outside.

The view that greeted you was like out of a dream. A peaceful lake, the mountains, the forest, all framed by a sky so blue that it looked like a painting. 

And on the shore of that lake stood Arthur, fishing peacefully, a look of concentration on his face. You watched as he caught a fish, pulling it out of the water and considering it for a few moments before mumbling, “Sorry, little guy. I’ll let you grow a bit more.”

He unhooked the little fish and tossed it back into the lake. Watching it swim away, he put new bait on his fishing hook and cast his line out, wedging the rod between some rocks before turning around.

He stopped short when he saw you.

Arthur called your name, almost in disbelief.

Then he ran to you.

“You shouldn’t be out here, you’ll catch a cold,” he fussed, taking off his jacket and wrapping it around your shoulders to ward off the chilly mountain air.

“Arthur, what happened?”

He stepped away from you, one hand gripping his other arm, shame radiating from his posture.

You stepped closer. “Arthur. Tell me.”

He sighed and let go of his arm. “I… I was dyin’.”

You gasped but stayed quiet to let him continue.

“You saved me, darlin’. Fer that, you have gratitude. Forever.” He took your hands in his. “But I have to tell you somethin’. It’ll sound insane. But I tell you, it’s true.” 

He took a deep breath.

“I’m a demon.”

You cocked your head at him. “Arthur, you’re not-”

“Let me explain.” He walked over to a large log, one that spanned at least twenty feet. He squatted down and lifted it up with ease. 

Even you had to admit that no regular human could lift a log of that size with that little effort.

Putting the log back down, he walked back to you. “To be clear, I’m only half.”

“Half?”

“My mother. She was a succubus. Fell in love with my father, a human. Though he was more a demon than she was. She was sweet, kind, gentle. He… weren’t.”

You were a little familiar with the term. From what you could recall, a succubus was a sex demon. Which meant he was half a sex demon.

“How did I save you?”

“You kissed me. Filled me with yer love.” He held your hands again, bringing them to his lips and closing his eyes. “But I took too much, drained you. I couldn’t control myself, I was so weak.”

He opened his eyes and looked so sad, so guilty. “I shouldn’t keep you to myself. If I lose control again, I…” Looking away from you, he trailed off, taking a shuddering breath, unable to even consider the consequences. Then he suddenly turned back to you, his eyes hardened with determination. “You can’t stay with me. I’m just a danger to you.”

You were shocked. But you could tell from the guilt he wore on his shoulder that he was blaming himself for extraordinary circumstances. “I wasn’t in danger the first time you were with me, was I?”

“No, no, I was in control then.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I need to feed off yer, uh, attraction to me. That, uh, energy, is what keeps me alive.” He gestured with his hands. “If I’m too hungry, I might feed too much, and that’s what happened to ya.”

You pondered his words for a few moments before asking him one simple question. 

"If I leave you, will you die?" 

He was silent. 

"Arthur."

He would not speak; he only looked away from your piercing glare. That was enough of an answer on its own. 

"I won't leave you," you said firmly. 

"But—"

"No buts," you interrupted, walking towards him. "I can't get you out of my system, and clearly neither can you."

He retreated away, stepping backwards into the lake, his boots crunching in the river gravel with every step. 

Still you followed him, into the ice cold water. 

"Darlin', don't come in here, you'll get cold," he said in a panic, immediately rushing towards you, taking you by your arms and pushing you out of the water.

You dug your feet in and grabbed his arms, pushing back at him. "I'll go where I want." Looking up at him determinedly, you lowered your voice. "I want to be with you, Arthur."

A moment passed, and then another and another as Arthur stared at you, emotions flying through his eyes like lightning across the sky. He finally leaned in, wrapped his arms around you, picked you up, and carried you back to the shoreline. He refused to put you down when you began to wriggle out of his grip. "You absolutely sure, sweetheart?"

"As sure as the sun is in the sky, my dear."

He smiled at you, his eyes shimmering with emotion. 

***

A week passed in rustic bliss as you recuperated. Arthur hunted and sold pelts in town to make money while you rested or cleaned around the house or fished while he was away. He was never too far, but whenever he was gone, he always asked that you stay inside in case of predators. You usually did as he asked, but as you regained your energy and got tired of being cooped up in the cabin, you would sit outside on the dock and fish during the early mornings.

Arthur knew you had not listened to his request when you had grilled fish for dinner, but he didn’t say anything. He only gave you a disapproving look, while you always just smiled innocently at him. 

As the second week in the cabin began, you noticed that Arthur was starting to look a bit pale. After he returned from a day hunting, you walked up to him and put his face between your hands.

"Arthur, do you need… Me?"

He looked at you and then looked away, conflicted. "I'll be fine."

You shook your head at him and hugged him tight. After a few moments, he wrapped his arms around you. Looking up at him, you cupped his cheek.

"Kiss me," you whispered.

He swallowed, leaned down, and gave you the most chaste kiss. 

"More, Arthur!" you whined. 

"Darlin'—" 

"Don't treat me like I'm made of glass, Mr. Morgan. I've been resting for an entire week. I feel great.” You poked his chest with a finger. “You need to trust me.”

“Alright, alright,” he relented. “I just… I can’t get that image out of my mind, you lying on the ground, pale as death.”

“Then let’s get a different image in your head, shall we?”

You pushed him onto the bed and straddled him.

“What’re you doin’?”

“Hush. Just enjoy.” You removed your clothes slowly, gyrating your hips in a slow circle as he watched you, his eyes darkening with every bit of flesh revealed. He couldn’t stop his body from reacting to your almost nude form, gripping the edge of the bed and breathing heavily.

You got up just long enough to shimmy out of your pants and drawers before you lay on top of him and kissed his nose. “Will you make love to me, Arthur?”

“Of course, my heart,” he said, his voice straining under the weight of his emotions. He wrapped his arms around your waist and held you close, pressing his lips against your skin and simply breathing in your scent.

You winked at him as you pushed yourself up and began to unbutton his shirt. He watched with a lazy smile as you reached the last button and tugged it off his shoulders, revealing his toned biceps. He sat up and removed the rest of his shirt as you started working on the buttons of his jeans. 

Arthur lay back down and lifted his hips as you pulled off his pants and his short drawers, wanting to see him gloriously naked. He was beautiful with his scars marking his skin, telling a story of a rough life, smoothed over with time. The trail of hair from his chest went down his stomach and lower, leading you to his thick shaft. 

You gently brushed your fingers along the length of him, looking up to see his reaction. Watching the heat in his eyes ignite as you stroked him, you gave him a cheeky grin before you wrapped your lips around the tip of his cock. 

"Oh lord, darlin'," Arthur moaned, his head lolling back as he tried to keep his hips from jerking upwards into the warmth of your mouth. “Where'd you learn that?"

You just winked. You'd tell him later. Right now, you just licked him slowly from base to tip before engulfing him in your mouth. 

Arthur's strangled cry of pleasure made you hum happily as you languidly lapped at his sensitive skin. His hands rested on your head, petting you lovingly as you explored him, wrapping your lips around him and sucking hard. 

A litany of creative curses escaped him as he grabbed your head and thrust up into your mouth, mindlessly giving into his lust. When you pushed down on his thighs and made a surprised squeal, he quickly let you go and breathed heavily. 

"Git up here," he growled, sitting up and pulling you into his lap. "I need to be inside of you."

Straddling his thighs, you slowly lowered yourself onto his cock, nearly crying with relief as you felt that carnal connection, rejoicing in that feeling of being filled up by him.

You moaned his name as he grabbed your hips and started to move you up and down, urging you faster and faster. You rode him hard as he wantonly chased down his pleasure. Feeling yourself flying towards the brink of an ecstatic high, you held Arthur’s face and pulled him towards you.

“Dar—”

You didn’t let him finish; you kissed him almost violently, pouring your love into him, forcing him to take all of your pent-up lust. He swallowed and moaned, kissing you back, and you felt a returning energy that pushed you over the edge and made you fly. The kiss broke as the two of you went over the edge of ecstasy together, arms holding each other tight as your hips spasmed, wringing out every last drop of his essence as he pumped upwards into you, gasping your name and pressing his forehead against yours.

After his last thrust, Arthur held you tightly against him, catching his breath while you caught yours.

“That… that was amazin’,” he finally said to you.

“Will it always be like that?” you asked.

“I hope so,” he said, a wry smile on his face.

You pulled back to look at his face. The color had returned to his cheeks and his eyes seemed much less sunken. You stroked his cheek gently. “You look better.”

“How’re you feeling’?” he said, his brows furrowing in concern.

“Never better.” You rolled your hips and smiled when he moaned, his cock hardening inside of you once more. “I could go for a round two.”

“You cheeky girl,” Arthur said while laughing, rolling over to make love to you until the two of you fell asleep in each other’s arms.

***

“So where’d you learn that trick?”

“What trick?” you asked around a mouthful of biscuit. 

“You know. The one where you put yer lips around my…” He gestured towards his lower region.

You laughed. “You’re not going to like the answer.”

“Jus’ tell me.”

You got up from the kitchen table, taking your plate back to the sink so you wouldn’t have to face him. “I, um, read your mother’s journal.”

You heard a fork drop onto a plate. Turning around, you saw Arthur looking at you, aghast.

“I’m sorry!”

“No, that ain’t… you don’t hafta apologize,” he quickly corrected. “I’ve read her journal. I never saw nothin’ like that.”

Your eyebrow raised. As you watched, Arthur went to grab the journal and returned to stand next to you, flipping through the pages.

“There, there it is,” you said, pointing at one of the pages towards the end of the journal.

“Huh? These’re blank, darlin’,” Arthur said.

You blinked. You looked up at him, confused. Then you looked down at the page he had flipped to, and sure as day, you saw a flowing script with detailed descriptions of sexual acts that drove men wild. It even had illustrations. 

“Arthur… where do the blank pages start for you?”

He flipped to a page about ten sheets away from the end. “Right here.”

Taking the journal in your hands, you started to read the text. You admit, you had started at the end and stopped when you saw the lewd artwork and never read before that part.

“It says, ‘To the one who captures the heart of an incubus.’” You looked up at Arthur, who looked bewildered, his jaw hanging slightly open. You continued. “‘Only you can read these last pages, because it holds things that I’m sure a son does not want to hear from his mother. But I want you to know my boy is special; even though he is half a creature of the night, his soul is all human. Please cherish him, care for him, and know that if he gives you his heart, he will give it all to you, and not an ounce less.’”

You looked up to the ceiling, trying not to cry, but glancing at Arthur, whose eyes were glistening with unshed tears, you let a few drops fall.

“That all it says?” he asked quietly.

“Um, well… the rest says, ‘On the following pages, I’ve shared my knowledge of carnal acts that are sure to enrich your life. But please don’t tell my son, as I am sure he will burst from shame if he knew his dear mother has intimate knowledge of such things.’” You glanced back at Arthur. “Whoops. I guess I wasn’t supposed to tell you that.”

Arthur choked back a laugh. “Ma, you never cease to amaze me,” he rasped as he looked up at the ceiling.

You looked at Arthur, who was halfway in tears, halfway laughing. “So… should I not use her techniques?”

He shuddered. “Please don’t call them ‘her’ techniques,” he grumbled

You laughed wholeheartedly. “Of course. They’re my techniques now, after all.”

He smiled at you; you smiled back. As he pulled you into his arms, you quietly thanked his mother for bringing Arthur into the world.

***

The spring months had passed in a blink of an eye as you and Arthur lived together in this small cabin, unbothered by anyone for the most part. The occasional traveler or merchant would go by on the road in the distance, but most days, the only person you saw was Arthur.

You didn’t mind one bit.

You still had the horse you rented; at this point, you figured the horse was a purchase and your savings long gone. Arthur had taken to him quite well, and he would take Ol’Trigger out to go hunting. He wasn’t looking too healthy when you rented him, but somehow, with all this clean mountain air and fresh grass, he was growing strong. 

The sun was beginning to set on this first day of summer when you heard Arthur and Ol'Trigger coming back from a day of selling furs to various traders. 

"There you are, my sweet," Arthur said with a big grin on his face as you approached. He held out his arms. 

"You're probably smelly from being out all day," you groused, but you still stepped into the circle of his arms and held him tightly. 

He leaned down and gave you a chaste peck on the lips. "Would you take a walk with me, darlin'?" 

"Sure," you answered easily. The two of you would often walk up the nearby mountain trail to an overlook where you could see a fantastic view of the whole lake. You knew you would always love this sight; it was so tranquil and beautiful, and every day the sun hit the water just a little bit differently. 

The two of you walked in silence, hand in hand, as the trees rustled and the birds chirped their goodbyes to the daylight. As you reached the overlook, you gasped. The solstice sunset dyed the world a rich red and gold, reflected on the lake like a mirror to the sky. 

"I could never get tired of this view," you said in awe. 

"Me either," Arthur said in a hushed tone. 

You turned to find him gazing at you, a small smile on his face. You smiled shyly back at him. "Oh, you're too nice to me." 

Without saying a word, he let go of your hand for a moment and got down on one knee. 

"Ar-Arthur?" 

Pulling out a ring that sparkled in the light, he looked up at you, his eyes showing a bit of vulnerability. He said your name so seriously that you stood up just a little straighter. 

"I love you. More than anythin’. It would mean the world to me if you did me the greatest honor." He took a deep breath. "Will ya marry me?" 

Tears had already started flowing the moment he pulled out the ring. But his earnest speech just filled your heart with joy. 

"Of course I'll marry you!" you exclaimed.

He grinned and stood up, took your hand, and slipped the gorgeous ring onto your finger. Then he leaned down and kissed you, sweet and unafraid, full of love.

As the sun set over the horizon, you thought that today, of all days, was the most perfect one of all.

--------------------

End Notes: I was deep in my feels, fam. So a bit of lore: Arthur is the only one who can't read the text in the back of the book; it was written with enchanted ink made with a drop of Arthur's blood when he was a child. Also the bonding that Arthur & Reader have is because Arthur claimed her last time they fucked. I know this sequel was more plot than porn, but I still hope you enjoyed it!

[nyanzaya]

shizaya / izuo are used in regards to the sexual role they take in the doujinshi/art/story. if there's no sexual content there's no need to use one in particular (but people usually stick to shizaya since it's more popular). shizuiza is also used a lot. also izuo was never more popular than shizaya, not even when the show first came out. why lie?

Thank you for waiting! 

I see, so it is only in a sexual regard then? Though, I must point out that you have contradicted yourself. If someone has to tag art/story/doujinshi as Shizaya then that would always imply there is something inherently sexual in the story which I can understand but where the contradiction comes in is: Why does it only have to be in a sexual sense. Basically you’re telling me that if I made any other different post that has both of these characters Izuo is acceptable as well. Please correct me if I’m wrong. 

What I also understand is the post that we are referring to; the one about Izaya being headcanonned as a Top, but then saying that he is also a switch was how this all started. 

I believe everyone is confused as to why it can’t be tagged as Izuo, which, if you put it in the context, it would be classified as Izuo in a topping/bottoming sense. I understand it is a preference of yours. Though, personally I don’t like to reduce Izaya and Shizuo to their private parts since they are so much more than just that after all. 

I believe you are referring to what @kaedesan721 said here. Unfortunately, I don’t believe this to be a lie. Even back in 2015 I have seen people tag things you would say is Shizaya as Izuo as well. Then having a third ship name as well, ShizuIza. It seems that we can agree that in the context of general writing, art and doujinshi each of these can be tagged as either: Shizaya, Izuo or even ShizuIza. Please correct me if I’m wrong.

Even then, I can see why Izuo would be the ‘popular’ tag since I personally think it’s just as easy to remember and type. It is just 4 letters. 

It’s definitely not hard to understand but I believe you are taking this the wrong way. I don’t care if it’s your preference. All I’m trying to understand here is why does Shizaya not equal Izuo. All you have told me is it’s because of who tops and who bottoms. 

I also believe that you don’t seem to understand who you are talking to. I’m a Lesbian and I tend to surround myself with people like myself, who are also gay. Considering as well that this is tumblr, a majority of the people I find are LGBTQ+, since Tumblr houses a lot of lgbtq+. To say ask: ‘Why do you guys talk as if it’s something existing only in fantasy?’ is kind of ignorant, considering just about everyone knows that a gay relationship is just as complex as any other relationship. Though, I will not fault you for making assumptions, since I get the impression you might have thought I was straight.

I find it hard to believe a lot of gay men prefer a passive role. Yes, I’m not denying that you personally prefer the passive role or anyone else that you surround yourself with that prefer the passive role but that has almost next to nothing to do with the conversation. Though, if you do want to bring that into play, I know many gay men who are very explicit about their sex life with me that tell me that they would prefer the role their partner does not want to do. Sometimes they top. Sometimes they bottom. I’m not telling you that you are wrong, I’m telling you that using other gay men is not exactly the best way to explain your point since every single one of them are different and have difference experiences after all. 

The way you say “you guys” I’m not sure who you are referring too. Are you preferring to just me and @lunariday or are you talking about everyone that agrees that Shizaya=Izuo?

If you would like I can do a poll about it and we can see the results of what people think! Though, if not, I believe a majority of the people following me would agree with me that, Izuo and Shizaya are the same thing. 

I understand that you are one person. There is absolutely no way one person can stop all of those things from happening in the Shizaya tag. It is a team effort. I can’t speak for her but effort is hard to see sometimes. Not that you aren’t trying your hardest because I’m sure that you are. 

I can tell that you really do love the ship and I love the ship too I think we both can agree that we love them together. I’m not entirely sure what prompted you to send an ask about Izuo being tagged as Shizaya when it was a post about switching. I have a feeling that it’s deeper than just the tagging but I can’t be entirely sure. I can completely understand why you wouldn’t like a headcanon but to tell someone: ‘i don't have any problem with izuo but i personally don't like it and it shouldn't be tagged as shizaya because it's not the same thing’ after a post like that? It does send a mixed message. If you didn’t have a problem with it, you wouldn’t have been prompted to send a message like that. 

I’m not here to say what you did is wrong. I’m not really a mediator either. I’m just here, trying to understand why it’s not the same. 

I’ve repeated it before but all I understand is: Only in a sexual context, they are different.

But after that. They aren’t so different, are they?

[inky-thoughts]

How to Organize a Zine 101

Hey guys!

Since I'm almost through with my very first zine that I organised myself, I just realised how many mistakes you can make without even knowing, and I learned so much within the last few months where a lot was kind of trial and error. So I thought, you guys might like to learn more about this, and I could share my experiences and newly gained knowledge! Maybe this helps if you are looking into organising your own first zine.

If you have any tips and tricks yourself you'd like to share, let me know, I’m excited to hear about them!

I am going to go through the different steps and phases that you should take into consideration, so this might get a small series of some sort? I hope you're up for this.

Also a small disclaimer:

I'm mostly talking about fanzines that have multiple contributors, and it will focus more on artists/illustrators and writers as that is where my experience lies. I have contributed on several free e-zines as well as a printed charity zine, and now have organised my first printed for-profit zine as well.

Phase 1: The Planning

This might sound really obvious and maybe silly, but there are quite a few things that you should take into consideration before just starting a project that might overwhelm you easily. Don't already head off and create a twitter account before you haven't sat down and thought about these questions first!

First of all, you should think about the zine itself:

What topic/theme should it have?

If it is a fanzine: What ships/characters/... should be the focus?

What format does your zine have (printed/e-zine/both)?

What should be included in the zine? (Illustrations, comics, writing, photographs, ... all of them?)

How many contributors/pieces do you want in your finished zine? (especially important for printed zines)

Do you want to have additional merch, e.g. bookmarks, stickers, charms, postcards, ... , that people can purchase with your zine in a bundle?

How are the specs (how many pieces per creator/how long is one piece especially for writers)?

Is it a for-profit, charity, or free zine?

After you now have a vague idea of what you want, you need to think about competition as well if you're not having a free online zine.

How big is the fandom/target group of the specific zine you want to make?

How old are they and how likely are they to spend money on your zine?

Are there only a few, but very dedicated fans?

How many contributors can you gather from the fandom? How is the general quality of fanworks?

Are there other zines that are similar or maybe with the same topic/theme/focus and what sets your zine apart from them?

Are there other zines going around at roughly the same time with the same target group, and should you perhaps wait a little so people can afford your zine again?

Is it a thriving fandom on the rise or has activity already peaked? If no fanzine: Is your theme at the pulse of time, or has some accute relevance to a lot of people?

Especially on tumblr, there are a few blogs entirely dedicated to zines and specifically fanzines. If tagged accordingly, they'll reblog all kinds of posts about a zine, but mostly Call for Submission, Zine Schedules, and Preorder Announcements (we will talk about these later on.) It is really helpful to check those out, sometimes there are even blogs solely about one fandom's projects, so it gets watered down even more. You can also test waters through polls etc. if you have a loyal followership that might just buy your stuff because it has you in or on it. However, I don't really find those very reliable.

The next questions are mainly about the doablity of the zine for you:

If there is any kind of production costs, do you have funds to cover them if the zine doesn't sell well enough?

Do you have anyone you can trust/are friends with who is also enthusiastic about your topic that they can help you?

How do you want to split work? How much do you want to contribute to the zine yourself?

Are you ready to make the commitment to dedicate basically every free minute of your life for the next 6+ month on this project? Are you in a relatively steady environment where you don't need to handle moving, changing jobs, schools, whatever at any point during your zine work?

I highly recommend you to at least have one other person to do the organisation with you, preferrably are two or even more.

Please do not underestimate the workload you'll get, even if it doesn't seem much at first, you will write so many e-mails because you need to get back to your contributors for one thing or another, you need to make sure the files are all correct, if you have writers you need beta-reading while also putting the zine together and finding a good printing service and making sure everyone is on time. For the last 6 months, this zine was basically my job, because it is just that, just without a clear salary, or none at all.

The next thing is kind of working out a schedule, with the rough stages/phases zine creations usually have.

Application/Gathering Contributors You have the option between public applications where people just send in portfolios and you pick from those, or you invite contributors you think are interested in the zine and you would like to have in it. Sometimes, there are zines that do both, but it's rather rare. There are some zines (usually free e-zines) that accept literally everyone who applies, and while it creates an opportunity for lesser known creators and beginners to gain a little exposure and experience, it doesn't necessarily mean that the overall quality of content is consistent and what you want to hold in your hands. I had applications open for a bit more than a month since I was very eager and didn't establish any kind of excitement or build-up thereof until finally applications open, but generally it's very common to have a full month to gather applications. The minimum should be 2 weeks, though. Also, don't let yourself be blinded by the sheer amount of applicants, especially in smaller fandoms, top tier creators are rather rare and everyone tries to get into a zine about something they love.

Curating Contributors If you don't have an Invite Only zine, you'll have a very busy time ahead now: You need to look through hundred or more applications and filter who is a fit for your zine, and who is not. Bear in mind that you aren't only looking for quality of work, but also which creator's style fits your zine best. Especially if you have several disciplines in your zine (e.g. illustrations and writing), I only can recommend to split the work load according to your speciality. That way you work faster and more efficient. Give yourself at least 2 weeks, the bigger/more popular the fandom, the longer it probably will take.

Sending Acceptance/Refusal E-Mails After you chose your pick, you'll need to let people know who's in, and who is not. I would advise to send out acceptance letters first, since there will be first dropouts immediately after you finally agreed on them. As soon as you got everyone to confirm their participation, take those who barely didn't make it and put them in for pinch-hitters. You will be surprised how many you'll probably need along the way. After they confirmed that yes, they'll be pinch-hitters, send out the rejection e-mails. I consider it curtesy to send them because as applicant, you really want to know where you're standing. Calculate roughly 1-2 weeks for the e-mails because things just tend to drag along and people need a long time to respond.

Confirmations This usually only applies if you offer people to make collaborations. They need to be able to check out who else is in the zine, who is up for collaboration, whose style suits them best to collab with, test the waters with each other, and usually should come up with an idea, so again 1-2 weeks would be needed for that. However, if you have got your contributors confirmed and just need the backup and refusal mails, just set those deadlines parallel.

1st Draft Depending on how much you're already asking for, you might want them 1-2 weeks after the rejection mails went out (if you really just want to know what kind of ideas people got), or up to a month if you want first sketches/summaries. The first draft is also helpful to see if two people got the same idea, and you can steer people a little bit into the "right direction."

2nd Draft Usually this is where at least 50-75% of the work should be done if you don't take a 3rd draft. Most common are 2 Drafts and the endproduct. Give people at least a month between 1st and 2nd Draft.

Final Draft This is when the finished pieces should be due. Depending on the time of the year, the contributors might be under a lot of stress, so set this deadline roughly 1 month after the 2nd Draft. You will be stressed, everyone else will be stressed, so give yourself the time you need. Also listen to your contributors and observe if there are a lot not cutting a deadline, then maybe push them back for another 1-2 weeks. It will make everyone more relaxed.

Touch-up Phase Especially with writers, you'll need at least 2 weeks to touch up the final draft they submitted.

Buffer Time (don't write that into the official schedule but definitely calculate with it) There will always be unexpected events that will require buffer times. You also will need time to put the zine together if you didn't work on designing the file beforehand while everyone else was creating. Still, you'll need to fix some things and polish the whole thing. Minimum buffer should be 1-2 weeks.

Contributor Preorders With printed zines, it is curtesy to give every contributor a printed copy of the zine for free with them only paying for shipping & handling. This kind of established itself as compensation for their work that usually ends up to be for free as most zines are either for charity or barely cover their production costs. To know who of your contributors even wants a copy, you should give them roughly 2-3 weeks to preorder. Having those exclusive orders helps you to divide between contributors and the regular costumer if you hold both at the same storefront.

Previews (+ Proofs) Before you're launching public preorders, dedicate at least 1 week to previews to get everyone hyped up. Contributors and the "official" zine site post excerps of zine pieces so people get an idea of what the feel of the zine is. If you already got proofs/samples printed until then, post pictures of those, too! If you don't post the link to the shop yet, there definitely wouldn't be a problem to have the previews start at the same time as the contributor preorders. That way, contributors also have the chance to get a glimpse at their peer's works.

Public Preorders Depending on how eager people are for your zine, you can leave preorders relatively short, but no less than 2 weeks if you don't get an insane amount of orders within the first couple of days. People must be able to check out prices and get their paycheck before preorders close again. Some zines have a stacked preorder system where the first X orders are cheaper, and then there will be leftovers or a second phase of preorders after the first bulk has been shipped. However, this doesn't happen very often. If you don't have a hugely popular zine or are cutting way too close to any important deadlines, consider having 3-4 weeks of preorders.

Production As soon as you got your numbers from the preorders, RUN AND PURCHASE EVERYTHING. Depending on where you get your zines printed (also don't forget the optional merch on this!), you can be ready to go within a week or even more than a month. Calculating with roughly 3 weeks if you're getting your stuff from mostly national level is a good rule of thumb, however shit happens all the time anyway, so to be safe use 4-8 weeks. Let your customers know immediately if there are any delays that weren't planned.

Shipping Depending on how many orders you've got, shipping can be a hassle and most likely will take up one week or longer. Since domestic shipping is fastest, ship international orders first, that way customers don't have the feeling that they're forgotten.

E-Zine Currently, a common trend is to first get the physical copies sold, and then sell e-zines to gather more money and cover leftover production costs of the printed zine. Especially international customers and college students prefer e-zines because of the incredibly high shipping rates around the globe. E-zines aren't linked to any production at all after you got the file put together, so if you set up your storefront with the download, everyone simply downloads it. You can have those open as you like, common is anything between 1-3 month and even a whole year. If no money is involved at all, a lot of zines just exist as a permanent free download in a dropbox or other cloud, so this is the least complicated process.

Conventions Really, it's not necessary to put this up in the schedule, but thinking about it might be helpful. If you have a physical zine, you and some contributors might want to sell it on conventions, so offering them to buy a bulk to a smaller rate can be helpful to spread the zine's exposure. We handled this with "buying on commission" - mainly the contributor only pays for the printing costs + shipping, and later will pay part of the profit back to you. Especially with international contributors, be aware of the longer shipping time. Also reprints might take their time. I personally made it a rule to order the reprints 3 months before the con, and reprints can be made up until one year, but really, you don't need to do this.

After you've got your rough schedule, I would advise you to already gather information on how to produce and spread the finished zine. This also helps to know how much you should have in your backup fund for the zine.

For physical zines/merch

Check out printing services! compare prices and quality as well as product range, and find out how long production takes

Find an online storefront where you want to sell it if you don't have one yet

Research on conventions and fairs where you might sell the zine

Learn about shipping rates and which company is suited best for your purpose

For e-zines

Research on your options:

If it's free, what cloud-service are you most comfortable with?

Find a dowload hosting platform you're comfortable with that also lets you charge per download

Is a round-mailing an option? if yes, do your research on online storefronts as well.

Advertising + Web Presence

This is basically finding your social media where you want to spread the word and store all the information of your zine. It is common for a zine with multiple contributors and mods to have its own web presence.

Tumblr and twitter are very popular for this as tumblr basically is a quick-for-setup homepage where you can spread information incredibly fast if you get to the right people, you have the option to answer questions people have regarding your zine, and twitter is nice and handy to keep applicants and potential customers updated. Also think about where you've got a large following and can advertise the zine yourself. Twitter/tumblr is not required, but most definitely helpful.

If you yourself aren't very known or popular, try to get more influencial people interested in participating, or simply promoting your zine. It definitely helps to have a larger audience. Also find out about the tags used by largely popular zines, and what you can learn from them. Learn how the fanproject blogs filter content they might reblog.

Things you also shouldn't underestimate is affiliations! If there is a zine/project with a largely similar forcus and theme, try to get on their better side, and help each other out. They might be your competition, but if you schedule your zine in a clever way, you won't need to worry about this at all since preorder phase won't overlap at all. They might help you advertise your zine while you do the same for them.

There are also forums on zines and fanzines, but I think nowadays it's rare that you'll go viral through those. I personally don't have any experience with those, so if anyone has, I'm happy to hear about it!

next >>

Masterpost

[shdwmn]

Look. All around you..

Lanes of destinations conveniently directed in ways to meaningless outcomes of life. Which will you choose? Happiness in being content with what you accumulate (i.e. experience or wealth) or the misery you force yourself to endure from bad programming. Bad programming as of lack of knowledge poorly researched information, taking someone’s word for it.

Do you ever find yourself..thinking that that you don’t belong anywhere? Or misplaced like a random item waiting to be given value? Or maybe you just don’t have a care for anything because all of this isn’t real? I understand. The information we were given since our early days is slowly becoming the same thing condemning our very souls. Bliss of the ignorant, a trait commonly envied due to the peace that one may find in not caring about things, and being obvious to outcomes. Yet that peace does not contribute to the world as a whole. It is a “get out of accountability card” used so often by keyboard warriors and those of the same liking.

We live in a society where the meek have inherited the earth and use their power visiously. These avatar veiled tyrants not only will use someone’s ignorance against them and encroach on their life by giving out private information and deem it public because there is record of it. Sadly this removes a persons “peace of mind”. Something very hard to get back once lost. It effects the sleeping patterns, trust of strangers, and most importantly is raised torches and pitchforks held by bandwagon jumpers, who merely want to see the head of the “monster” dangle by shreds of skin after the big tech companies drop the ax blow of labeling them “cancelled”. No more popularity just unwanted infamy, acting as a scarlet letter in the dimension we call real time/real life. Where your waitress/server doesn’t want to give you the type of service they are paid to do because of the post you were tagged in. And in that act alone make this employee feel that treating someone bad is an act of heroism.

This mud all has gone to shit. What can we do you ask? Nothing it’s in full effect until we decide that the internet was rigged from the beginning in lottery pick popularity polls, to let me sell you a simple google search answer for $36 a month. Tutorials and life hacks that only lead you to purchasing more things you don’t need as Carlin would say. Celebrating people who pay robots for fluffy stream numbers in astronomical amounts, only to wind up in an empty stadium, or cancelled show.

I’ll just eat my popcorn, and refuse to change the channel. This is only getting more interesting. Free money grabs, and more tax pressure. How are you taking a ppp loan in hopes that it will be forgiven? What if it isn’t? Your makeshift paper business hasn’t made three dimes and now you plan on paying back a loan that is about to set you back so far that you will have to build a hut under a bridge to keep warm after the shit storm you are about to see. Don’t you see it? The fact that you can’t get enough followers on your tiktok to have the ability to go live. But the next person in your fyp page has three videos and is following 3 people and is followed by 3.9 million? Still don’t see it? How these “big creators” have become the Illuminati of a karaoke app? Where they meet up and put out crappier content than before. Only to play a gossip game with “smaller creators” they call them “smaller creators”!!

Facebook? Instagram? Why is it easier to find a industry plant to follow than people in you own contacts? Don’t believe the hype. You just watch and see how these popular people are going to show their true colors amidst the desperation of people not caring about the same old shenanigans.

Please people go back to sleep.

[aka-willow]

Familiar

gif

Words: 1041

Characters: Willow Wren, Ethan Kim, Gooblin, Pip, Pingu, Burr, Spark, Danny, Manny, Dew, Fanisimo, France, Sabbath

Prompt/Tag:

“You’ve got to be more careful.”

“You can’t keep ignoring this.”

Summary: Willow hacks the fourth ex-Facility scientist but doesn’t confront them

Timeline: November 2015

Song: 4am - Bastille

A/N: i love them all they’re so stupid

—————————————————————————–

I sat in my room, video chatting with the other Lab Rats as we briefed each other on the last few weeks. I found myself leaving out parts, like the fact that instead of just going through the files we had and leaking one scientist’s information at a time, I was confronting them in person. Which is why I won’t be doing that anymore. That incident at the library was way too close.

Still, confronting them had yielded some interesting results, such as the one-worded memory I had regained, and the theory that a book had been involved with our project. Pingu and I had told them about Subject Zero, but none of us remembered her and there were no leads on her besides the few random references in the files Fanisimo had uncovered.

“Okay, guys, I need us to all put our one braincell to work on this one,” I said. “Think really hard. Does anyone remember a book? Or—” I rolled up my sleeve “—this word?” We can’t keep ignoring this.

“For the thousandth time, no,” said Manny. “Look, they’d take us into the Blue Lab or whatever and that’s it. I remember nothing from there.”

“There’s twelve of us,” I said. “I mean, out of all of us we should be able to piece something together, right?”

“There was a test…a… what’s the word…” Sabbath said suddenly. “A… process? They had a name for it. I heard it once and I remember thinking that’s what’s wrong with us, that’s why I don’t remember. It was around the time we escaped, so there was no reset to wipe those memories.”

“So, what’s the name of the process?” Burr asked.

“Well, I don’t remember,” said Sabbath. “That’s the point. I just remembering knowing.”

“Anything?” I asked. “A letter, the way it sounds…?”

“It began with F,” said Sabbath. “Like flower or frost…”

“Poll the audience?” I asked the others, checking the time. “I have to go in a few minutes.” Ethan would be over soon.

“Fuck? That’s an F word,” France says. “Or… hey… me. France.”

“Think about this logically,” said Fanisimo. “HYDRA’s naming of things was like a whole department. It would have to have meaning. Think things that might relate. German names, or…”

“Beethoven,” said Pingu. “That’s German.”

“That doesn’t begin with F,” said Gooblin.

“He’s Austrian, isn’t he?” Pip asked.

“God, we’re braindead,” Dew said. “Uh… frost-y? That’s the thing they have a Wendy’s. And like maybe it has something to do with the cold?”

“I had Wendy’s for the first time last week,” Spark interjected. “That shit’s good.”

“These words seem too easy,” said Danny. “Too… what’s the word… not formal enough. You know?”

“Colloquial,” Burr supplied.

“I’d know it when I hear it,” said Sabbath. The conversation drifted to a 4am call that some of the boys were trying to get together, and Burr berating Danny and Manny for exposing their powers in Vegas as part of a magic set. Special effects could explain the display, but some of the Lab Rats were still on edge about it.

“You’ve got to be more careful,” she said. “Stop posting those videos on Youtube.”

“Dew posted on Youtube,” tattled Manny.

I heard our apartment buzzer ring and when I checked my phone, I saw Ethan had texted me.

Ethan: Here!

I hurried to clean up my mess of a desk and leaned back into the camera view for a moment. “Got to go,” I said. “Let’s talk soon. Keep spitballing words. If we got the name of whatever they did to us, well, it’s a start. Also books. Get on that.” I heard one of the other Lab Rats say something along the lines of ew homework as I disconnected. I was slightly jealous of a few of them because it seemed that they had moved on from the Facility faster than I had, especially considering they left after me. Pingu seemed to be doing well with her family in D.C., Gooblin had started some writing project, a group of the boys were still doing tricks in Vegas, Dew had just launched the music video we had helped him film, and on and on and on. It seemed like I was one of the only ones really fixated on getting back the memories we lost and figuring out what really happened. I needed that to move on.

The others were content to just forget, and I really couldn’t blame them.

After checking myself in the bathroom mirror, I nearly tripped over my backpack in the entryway as ran over to buzz Ethan in and let him up. I surveyed the apartment while I waited, making sure everything looked normal. Of course it would look normal. Why wouldn’t it?

In the final minutes before Ethan got upstairs, I double-checked the leak on the fourth Facility scientist I had planned and activated a VPN just before I hit send. Seconds later, Ethan was knocking on our apartment door and I slammed my laptop shut as I let him in. “Hey, dude.”

“Hi,” he said, waving in the awkward way he always did, which I had become accustomed to in the last few months. “Ready to make some babies?” He gave a nervous laugh. “Sorry… that was stupid I meant like do the baby project with the Punnett squares and stuff. Don’t know why I thought that would be funny…”

I laughed, despite myself. “You’re good. Let’s go sit.”

As Ethan and I worked through our biology homework and I tried to figure out how bat wings would play into our fake child’s genes (not that I would tell Ethan), I spent the other work time discreetly monitoring the file leak and the aftermath. The Lab Rat group chat finalized plans for a virtual sleepover and discussion session the following night. Even though we annoyed each other tremendously, I was still excited about the call.

I still had other things on my mind, though. I wanted to confront this scientist, Taddeo Moser, and ask him my questions but I knew it was too risky. This can work just as well.

But this fourth leak wasn’t nearly as satisfying. I found myself wanting a piece of the action. I need to look them in the eye.

[teacuphuman09]

Arthur is ready, are you?

We are less than one week away from the start of Inceptiversary 2017!!!!!!!

We’ve got a little more info for you on what’s going on during the festivities, including start dates and handy links for where to find more info.

 Your #1 place for all Inception related info is @inceptiversary. Here you’ll find reblogs of all the info posts, so chances are you’ll find what you’re looking for with a little scrolling. Make sure to tag all your own posts with #inceptiversary so the blog picks them up!

 #2 is the Inceptiversary social calendar. If you notice anything missing from the calendar, please message @teacuphuman09 and it will be added asap!

 #3 Watch parties will be held in the Inception slack. Don’t have an invite? Send an ask to @guiltypuknowme and she’ll hook you up. Check @inceptiversarysocial for the movie poll and have your say in what we watch! These parties are also a great way to get to know your fellow Inceptionites, but don’t worry if you’re not up to being super social, you can still join and lurk. We love our lurkers here, too!

 #4 You can’t have an Inception Watch Party without Watch Party Bingo! The prizes this year are seriously sweet, so make sure to check back for more info!

 #5 The Inception Fandom Auction is in honour of @anartificialaspidistra, who passed away earlier this year. Molly was a beautiful person and a great friend, and if you want to donate something, or bid, you can message @corinnetags or go to http://inception-auction.dreamwidth.org/ for more info.

 #6 The Inception 30 Day Challenge is a great way to connect with your love for the Inception fandom! Write a love letter to your favourite character! Unearth the rarest of your rare pairs! Count how many times Eames touches his lips throughout the film! Every day is a new and fun challenge! 

 #7 @inceptionkitties has some great events planned this year, including the crossover challenge with @00kitties that we’re totally going to win. I’m just sayin’, our fandom has the best kitties. Hands down.

 #8 Get ready to lengthen your to-read lists and be introduced to the best that this fandom has to offer! Learn things you never knew about the movie and gorge on all the meta and fanworks! The Fanworks Roundup starts on July 1st, so dream bigger and be prepared!

 #9 Inception Reversebang is the beautiful marriage of fanart and fanfic, brought together for one hell of a challenge! Sign-ups for this will open in the second half of the month, so be sure to keep your eyes peeled for all the great art and be inspired!

 #10 Psst, hey you. Yeah, you. You like tropes? How ‘bout kinks? Well then do I have the event for you! Trope/Kink Bingo is a fun and creative way to write that fic you always wanted to write, or challenge yourself with something you never thought you could. Pick a line, four corners, or join the blackout club! Bingo fics are open to all pairings and ships, and tend to get a lot of kudos and comments, and this year there are rumours of matching t-shirts in the works! 

 #11 If you’re going to get a bingo card you should also sign up for the Inception Comment Contest! In an attempt to encourage appreciative comments on fics, and fandom love all around, @teacuphuman09 (that’s me!) is running a contest that could see you, the reader/viewer, winning a fanwork from one of your favourite authors or artists! For authors/artists, this is a great way to give back and thank all those consumers of fandom who took the time to give you some love and put a smile on your face. Also, who feed your addiction, because as we all know, comments are like crack and our works live and die by them! The best part is that you can sign up as a commenter AND and a creator! Double bonus! Commenters sign up HERE, and Authors/Artists sign up HERE. Sign-ups are only open until June 30th, so hurry! If you can’t remember if you’ve signed up, check out this spreadsheet!

 #12 And if you’re going to join the Comment Contest, you really should head over to @inceptionpositivity and leave an anonymous note for that author whose fic just made you squee/cry/laugh/squirm in public. We all know you read fanfic at your desk, Deborah! You’re not fooling anyone.

 #13 @aelastwriter (Arthur and Eames Last Drabble Writer Standing) is a quick, competitive drabble contest that has the lovely side effect of flooding us with excellent, short fics that YOU get to vote on! And this year, there will once again be a non-elimination round! Win-win! Warning: these drabbles are addictive and may leave you yearning to leave copious kudos and comments for the authors. This, of course, is strongly encouraged.

 #14 The Fanfic Group Discussion over at @dreamin-reader are always insightful, in-depth, and sometimes even filthy ;-) They’re an excellent way to explore our fandom and the characters and stories that drive it forward. So drop by and have a chat about some of your favourite fics!

 #15 The Inception Friending Meme is your one-stop shop for who’s who in our fandom! See who lives in your area, or who shares a hobby with you. The goal is to bring us together and build lasting relationships, because the fandom that knows each other is a fandom that grows each other. (Insert emoji of Alex Hart with hand on heart, fedora on head, and foot in mouth)

 #16 The Inception Quiz has a manpain’s worth of great prizes, just waiting to be won! Sign up and test your knowledge of Inception, because maybe you don’t know everything you think you know. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s all been a dream. More info to come!

 #17 Quick! What your favourite rare pair? Saito/Nash? Yusuf/Mal? Dom/Ari’s scarf? Whatever it is, you’ll find it in the Rare Pair Fest! More info to come!

 #18 Speaking of coming...you know what happens on Wednesdays, right? On Wednesdays we share fics. Feel-good fics. Fics that get you over the hump that is the middle of the week and help you glide into Friday. Because on Friday, we’ll be in our bunks with the fics that we can’t forget. The ones that linger because they were just so hot you had to go back and read them again! Check out @inceptionficrx for Wednesday Hump Days and Bunk Fic Fridays for a sure-fire way to keep your week humming! All ships are welcome!

 #19 The glorious month of July will also deliver unto us the newest masterpiece by Chris Nolan, Dunkirk. Tom Hardy! Cillian Murphy! Mark Rylance! Planes! Boats! Dead infantry! Heroic measures! We all know how it’s going to end, but it looks like it’s going to be a great journey! @guiltypuknowme is organizing a chat in the Inception slack to discuss the movie following its release, so come join the fun and talk about why Tom Hardy always has to wear a freaking mask over his pretty mug!

 #20 Ever wanted to know more about the glorious French language? The romance, the curl of the tongue, the really complicated conjugations? @malteparle will have a French word of the day every day in July to keep you warm and content. Tu n'as pas peur de rêver plus grand, ma chérie.

 #21 The time has come, people. Time to crush the 007 fandom in the Inception/007 Crossover Round Robin Challenge, just like we did last year! Be on alert and check your mentions because it’s going to be a wild ride to victory, once again!

 #22 Looking for something specific? Then look no further than @a-forger-and-a-point-man’s excellent Inception Blog Masterlist! It has everything you’ll need to navigate the Inception fandom!

 #23 In need of a little Inception fanwork, but not up to the task yourself? Visit on of the wonderful blogs that are accepting prompts during Inceptiversary!

-@fridatwin

-@brookebond

If you’re taking prompts and I’ve missed you, please let me know and I’ll add you to the list!

#24 Don’t forget about the Theme Weeks! 

July 1-7 Meet Cute: First meetings, coffeeshop AU’s, all those fics that make you squirm with excitement because you know how good it’s going to be for your ship!

July 8-14 Adventure: Canon compliant, heist fics, any fic where the characters are dream criminals.

July 15-21 Hurt AND/OR Comfort: All the pain, all the solace, or a little of both!

July 22-28 Crossovers: Your favourite fics that incorporate our heroes into other story lines, or bring other universes into Inception.

July 29-August 4 Mystical Realism/AUs: Bring us your weird, your slimy, your shameful! Anything goes, as long as it has elements of the unusual!

 As I mentioned above, we have some truly great prizes again this year! Fics, artwork, crafts, jewelry, podfic’ing! The list goes on and on! If you’d like to offer a prize, please contact @justgot1 so she can put you down as a benevolent donor! The more we have, the more we can give away!

 Five days to go, so rest up, get ready, and dream big!

[gordonwilliamsweb]

FDA Weighs Approval of a Lucrative Alzheimer’s Drug, but Benefits Are Iffy

The Food and Drug Administration’s decision next week whether to approve the first treatment for Alzheimer’s disease highlights a deep division over the drug’s benefits as well as criticism about the integrity of the FDA approval process.

This story also ran on The Daily Beast. It can be republished for free.

The agency said it will decide by June 7 the fate of Biogen’s drug aducanumab, despite a near-unanimous rejection of the product by an FDA advisory committee of outside experts in November. Doubts were raised when, in 2019, Biogen halted two large clinical trials of the drug after determining it wouldn’t reach its targets for efficacy. But the drugmaker later revised that assessment, stating that one trial showed the drug reduced the decline in patients’ cognitive and functional ability by 22%.

Some FDA scientists in November joined with the company to present a document praising the intravenous drug. But other FDA officials and many outside experts say the evidence for the drug is shaky at best and that another large clinical trial is needed. A consumer advocacy group has called for a federal investigation into the FDA’s handling of the approval process for the product.

A lot is riding on the drug for Biogen. It is projected to carry a $50,000-a-year price tag and would be worth billions of dollars in revenue to the Cambridge, Massachusetts, company.

The FDA is under pressure because an estimated 6 million Americans are diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, a debilitating and ultimately fatal form of dementia, and there are no drugs on the market to treat the underlying disease. Although some drugs slightly mitigate symptoms, patients and their families are desperate for a medication that even modestly slows its progression.

Aducanumab helps the body produce antibodies that remove amyloid plaques from the brain, which has been associated with Alzheimer’s. It’s designed for patients with mild-to-moderate cognitive decline from Alzheimer’s, of which there are an estimated 2 million Americans. But it’s not clear whether eliminating the plaque improves brain function in Alzheimer’s patients. So far, nearly two dozen drugs based on the so-called amyloid hypothesis have failed in clinical trials.

Besides questions about whether the drug works, there also are safety issues. More than one-third of patients in one of the trials experienced brain swelling and nearly 20% had brain bleeding, though those symptoms generally were mild and controllable. Because of those risks, patients receiving aducanumab have to undergo regular brain monitoring through expensive PET scans and MRI tests.

Some physicians who treat Alzheimer’s patients say they won’t prescribe the drug even if it’s approved.

“There’s a lot of hope among my patients that this is going to be a game changer,” said Dr. Matthew Schrag, an assistant professor of neurology at Vanderbilt University. “But the cognitive benefits of this drug are quite small, we don’t know the long-term safety risks, and there will be a lot of practical issues in deploying this therapy. We have to wait until we’re certain we’re doing the right thing for patients.”

Many aspects of aducanumab’s journey through the FDA approval process have been unusual. It’s “vanishingly rare” for a drug to continue on toward approval after its clinical trial was halted because unfavorable results showed that further testing was futile, said Dr. Peter Lurie, president of the Center for Science in the Public Interest and a former FDA associate commissioner. And it’s “mind-boggling,” he added, for the FDA to collaborate with a drugmaker in presenting a joint briefing document to an FDA advisory committee.

“A joint briefing document strikes me as completely inappropriate and an abdication of the FDA’s claim to being the best regulatory agency in the world,” Lurie said.

Three FDA advisory committee members who voted in November against approving the drug wrote in a recent JAMA commentary that the FDA’s “unusual degree of collaboration” with Biogen led to criticism that it “potentially compromised the FDA’s objectivity.” They cast doubt on both the drug’s safety and the revised efficacy data.

The FDA and Biogen declined to comment for this article.

Despite the uncertainties, the Alzheimer’s Association, the nation’s largest Alzheimer’s patient advocacy group, has pushed hard for FDA approval of aducanumab, mounting a major print and online ad campaign last month. The “More Time” campaign featured personal stories from patients and family members. In one ad, actor Samuel L. Jackson posted on Twitter, “If a drug could slow Alzheimer’s, giving me more time with my mom, I would have read to her more.”

But the association has drawn criticism for having its representatives testify before the FDA in support of the drug without disclosing that it received $525,000 in contributions last year from Biogen and its partner company, Eisai, and hundreds of thousands of dollars more in previous years. Other people who testified stated upfront whether or not they had financial conflicts.

Dr. Leslie Norins, founder of a group called Alzheimer’s Germ Quest that supports research, said the lack of disclosure hurts the Alzheimer’s Association’s credibility. “When the association asks the FDA to approve a drug, shouldn’t it have to reveal that it received millions of dollars from the drug company?” he asked.

But Joanne Pike, the Alzheimer’s Association’s chief strategy officer, who testified before the FDA advisory committee about aducanumab without disclosing the contributions, denied that the association was hiding anything or that it supported the drug’s approval because of the drugmakers’ money. Anyone can search the association’s website to find all corporate contributions, she said in an interview.

Pike said her association backs the drug’s approval because its potential to slow patients’ cognitive and functional decline offers substantial benefits to patients and their caregivers, its side effects are “manageable,” and it will spur the development of other, more effective Alzheimer’s treatments.

“History has shown that approvals of first drugs in a category benefit people because they invigorate the pipeline,” she said. “The first drug is a start, and the second and third and fourth treatment could do even better.”

Lurie disputed that. He said lowering the FDA’s standards and approving an ineffective or marginally effective drug merely encourages other manufacturers to develop similar, “me too” drugs that also don’t work well.

The Public Citizen Health Research Group, which opposes approval of aducanumab, has called for an investigation of the FDA’s “unprecedented and inappropriate close collaboration” with Biogen. It asked the inspector general of the Department of Health and Human Services to probe the approval process, which that office said it would consider.

The group also urged the acting FDA commissioner, Dr. Janet Woodcock, to remove Dr. Billy Dunn, an aducanumab advocate who testified about it to the advisory committee, from his position as director of the FDA’s Office of Neuroscience and hand over review of the drug to staffers who weren’t involved in the Biogen collaboration.

Woodcock refused, saying in a letter that FDA “interactions” with drugmakers make drug development “more efficient and more effective” and “do not interfere with the FDA’s independent perspective.”

Although it would be unusual for the FDA to approve a drug after rejection by an FDA advisory committee, it’s not unprecedented, Lurie said. Alternatively, the agency could approve it on a restricted basis, limiting it to a segment of the Alzheimer’s patient population and/or requiring Biogen to monitor patients.

“That will be tempting but shouldn’t be the way the problem is solved,” he said. “If the product doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. Once it’s on the market, it’s very difficult to get it off.”

If the drug is approved, Alzheimer’s patients and their families will have to make a difficult calculation, balancing the limited potential benefits with proven safety issues.

Anne Saint, whose husband, Mike, had Alzheimer’s for a decade and died in September at age 71, said that based on what she’s read about aducanumab, she wouldn’t have put him on the drug.

“Mike was having brain bleeds anyway, and I wouldn’t have risked him having any more side effects, with no sure positive outcome,” said Saint, who lives in Franklin, Tennessee. “It sounds like maybe that drug’s not going to work, for a lot of money.”

Their adult daughter, Sarah Riley Saint, feels differently. “If this is the only hope, why not try it and see if it helps?” she said.

KHN (Kaiser Health News) is a national newsroom that produces in-depth journalism about health issues. Together with Policy Analysis and Polling, KHN is one of the three major operating programs at KFF (Kaiser Family Foundation). KFF is an endowed nonprofit organization providing information on health issues to the nation.

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