#wait guys hear me out

[oh-allie]

shakespeare and swooning

alhaitham x g/n reader

synopsis; you read one shakespeare play and now you want to impress your "buddy" alhaitham with your newfound knowledge !! what could go wrong?

fluff, g/n reader, TOTAL CRACKFIC, OOC alhaitham, SWEARING, kind of a modern au ???? i mention "ringing tighnari" but that could just be imagined as using the akasha terminal !!!! didnt write this with a modern au in mind

warning ‼️ PLEASE dont expect this to be accurate, if youre a big classic literature fan then dont attack me for not being a NERD ☹️ just imagine a poser using their fancy words (because they think its cool)

you know how libraries are supposed to be a place of study and tranquility? no the fuck you don't, or at least you don't care, because running through the house of daena with shakespeares, "romeo and juliet," in your hands is NOT very tranquil.

multiple poor akademiya students look at you, PISSED OFF because your shoes are going clu-clonk on the marble floors, which wouldn't be an issue if you weren't scurrying through the library.

is that kaveh ?? he's giving you the same look he gives alhaitham every day ..

... but this is IMPORTANT !! you're on a MISSION right now !! you just finished reading the first act of "romeo and juliet," and you're convinced your brain has expanded tenfold in size.

you're now rushing to your good pal haitham to share your knowledge! how kind and gracious!

you're stopped before his house, you've known him for long enough and gotten close enough for him to let you come in whenever. you know kaveh isn't home, and haitham would never purposefully work overtime, so you're certain you can get his attention and show off in peace.

why are you so adamant about showing off to alhaitham? is it REALLY showing off, or are you trying to, heehee, impress him?? its too late to be flustered at this thought because you already unlocked the door with the spare key kaveh leaves behind one of haithams ugly ass decorative plants and you've taken off your shoes and oh god hes right there and the sunlight from the door is lighting up his face in that way that only happens to him and hes looking at you with a suprised, slightly annoyed, but incredibly fond look and oh no what was your plan again?

"greetings, alhaitham! ☝️🤓" you say, finding a surge of confidence remembering the story you read.

"... hey. what are you doing here?" his response is quick but before you respond he continues, "did you just say greetings?"

"indubidibdibdly! hath you be surprised?" you pretentious hipster. you think youre SO cool, but unfortunately your little crush doesn't seem very impressed either.

"okay, what are you doing? you're being weird." he's not even looking at you, and he's back in his chair before you can rush over and sit on the couch. "is something wrong? should i get tighnari to give you a checkup?"

you'd be touched by the care of the suggestion if he wasn't so cheeky in his tone.

"wha, what, no?! no what the hell- stop ringing tighnari."

"are thou o'er wrought with admiration?" you grin, somehow still under the impression that you sound cool.

he gives an eyebrow raise to that. not bothering to mark his place in his book, he stands up.

"i lie testy in why you act so unpregnant, my dear."

"what"

HUH ? what did bro just say ? testy ???? unpregnant ?? MY DEAR ??? backtrack again, UN-WHAT ??

"be still my beating heart, thou hast taken mine with absolute cunning." is he making fun of you i genuinely can't tell ... its like hes speaking in moon runes right now.

"haitham, heheh, WHAT are you DOING ??" you can't help but laugh at his funny little words, magic man. even if you're clueless to what he just said to you.

"whatever doth thou mean?" he's totally making fun of you !! after ALL your effort to impress him too?

"well, usually i do all the ranting and you sit pretty and listen, so it's weird that you're talking so much, especially like THAT?" fym sit pretty ....

"when words are scarce they are seldom spent in vain." that sounds familiar, but you can't think about it longer before he continues, "shall i compare thee to a summers day?"

"ALRIGHT, i recognize that one, dummy." you laugh, "were you really not impressed by me?" you whisper, the rush of embarrassment you shouldve felt in that library is finally catching up with you.

he stares at you for a second. you just wish you could find out what hes thinking up there, if you could even understand it.

and then he lets you into his mind, with a simple "i love you." as if alhaitham, renowned scribe of the akademiya, top student, couldn't find the words to describe how he felt for you.

or maybe that was what he felt for you. he loved you.

"... you called me unpregnant."

a/n; i read romeo and juliet like... 3 years ago.... so.. uam... 😇😇 totally accurate! hope this crackfic style of writing isnt too niche so this doesnt flop because EMBARRASSING....... do people even like al haitham anymore like guys lets go back to the good old days before the FRENCH came in..... (this is just me projecting cause i havent played genshin in a while and i still lovelove sumeru)

[deerfawnbaby]

4th of July is my fav holiday bc I can literally just watch hot dad's light fireworks and drink all night !!

[cozylittleartblog]

New Family Speedrun 00:09.12 (World Record Not Clickbait???)

[wildflowercryptid]

black cat bitches, we've finally won.

[queenofapeacefuldawn]

I read on Twilight's wiki page that Endo always intended on him having a high paying job (like a doctor or a lawyer) and in the end he chose to make Loid a psychiatrist due to his affinity for psychology.

And can I say. Lawyer Loid was such a missed opportunity. So much comedic potential.

Like. you have Loid Forger, notorious in the firm for winning every case that comes across him, due to his clear and concise arguments and knowledge of the law. Then you look at his home life and see that this man can't win an argument against his four six year old daughter. The minute her eyes turn teary he folds so easily. Like. That's comedy gold.

And I feel like on first meeting Yuri would hate him even more. Like, I feel like Yuri's the type of guy who goes, "a defense attorney? AKA a professional liar?" (← is a cop lying to his sister about his job) and his internal monologue just goes, "what does yor see in him? sure, he's handsome, smart, popular in his firm--" [angrily munching on food Loid made him]

And there's news of a murder on several news channels while they're having dinner one day, and the news agency names the suspect and Loid offhandedly goes, "Oh, my firm handled that" (I have to mention my work life for the mission, so they dont suspect I'm anything but a lawyer), and Yor goes, "I don't think a man his height could have done that. Look at the blood splatter. Had to be someone taller" And Loid's looking at her like: 👁️👁️, and Yor fumbles with, "Oh, Yuri used to love those detective shows when we were kids" and Loid's like, "anything you say <3. do you want some more chicken?"

And, logically, if he's assigned to a popular/high-profile enough firm, there's a higher likelihood of him making contact with high-profile businesspeople (sure they have their own legal teams, but for a consultation or something?) rather than a psychiatrist. (Again, my own opinion)

But the only downside is whenever he pulls some medical shit he cant go, "Oh, I learned that in med school" but the natural excuse can be "oh, i was a sergeant, i learned some basic medical knowledge during the war"

Anyway. Lawyer Loid could have been peak comedy.

[visenyaism]

[meowdyjac]

Ok so hear me out!

Demon Stan x Priest Fiddleford.

(This is just his imagination he is not cool enough to convince the priest to break his celibacy streak)

vv more thoughts on this below vv

So im just throwing ideas out here, but in this Stan is a demon haunting Fiddleford, a lonely divorced priest, and is trying to get him to commit sin or go insane. Unfortunately for him, the fear of being haunted by a demon wears off when Fiddleford realizes hes basically harmless and is just mildly annoyed by his presence (Stan is just floating around him listing sins Fidds should do)

Despite Fidds annoyance, Stan does make good company.

[dirt-str1der]

They made hyoga look so much cooler in the anime hes just standing there , in the manga theyre all dripping wet and bedraggled and senku is dying as usual

[valewritessss]

This fandom is so nit-picky that I’ve seen more criticism on every little thing about wottg (a book that came out 2 days ago) than people saying things they liked about it

Edit: someone has already gotten mad so I repeat this is a joke and not that deep❤️

[crypticpuffin]

you guys ever think about how major works of philosophy or literature tie into your hyperfixations in a thematic context or is that just me... like sorry herman melville but I'm going to tie your classic novel's complex themes to my shark yaoi analysis as if they were always meant to be two pieces of the same puzzle... sorry

[letmebesilly]

Guys sources say Hermes is also a fertility god and well I headcannon PJO Hermes has snake fangs. What if he’s venomous and they carry an Aphrodisiac….

No ok just me 😔.

[reader-from-nowhere]

hey hey guys, if we want Rodimus Prime in mecha au then we'd have to get the matrix into Hot Rod's chest, right? guess who's also in Hot Rod's chest

[thelonelynindroid]

His only deanfense

[aperture-of-bullshit]

Things that I want but know will never happen is a euridyce that sings in a style closer to the concept and nytw

[majimasleftasscheek]

So... How's Majima gaiden been treating you? 👀

my 100hr workweeks have been cucking me so far dsklajgklgdsajgsd I'm still on chap 2 BUT I plan on playing the fuck out of it soon 👀 tho I'mma take my hella time taking everything in. I appreciate all my friends immediately sending me the location of the goromi outfit lmao

so far I really like it tho of course I'm the most biased person ever lmao. just seeing majima again be the main boyo is a dream come true for me 🥺 the vibe is fun, the fighting style is fun, I enjoy the characters so far oughgogh

[made-my-peace-with-all-the-bad]

Sailor Song but it’s Darrel and Paul